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rabarbarzcukrem · 6 months

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Okay I've been meaning to write this post for a while because. Those last few episodes have fucking layers mannnn

So let me start by saying that House and Cuddy's relationship was, sadly, doomed from the very beginning. That's not to say that it didn't have any chance of working out, ever, because they clearly had chemistry and cared about each other. But the circumstances of them getting together, the fact that it was the reason House decided to stay clean makes for an absolutely awful start. It fucks up the dynamic of your relationship - it demands one person to stay for the sake of ensuring the other doesn't relapse, and no one should ever be put under this kind of pressure. Secondly, it was always conditional - which is actually not as bad as it sounds. House is a person who loves pushing boundaries, and Cuddy is a woman who knows her own worth. She, Stacy and even Dominika aren't pushovers - with them, there are lines that House knows he can't cross. Lines that, once crossed, will make them decide it's not worth it and leave him.

And here's where Wilson comes in, because he's exactly this kind of pushover. During one of the therapy sessions House straight up admits that's why he's still his friend - because he can say anything to him and he won't leave. Wilson's affection for him is truly unconditional, and as unhealthy it may be, it's the only kind of relationship that really works for House.

See, he is fundamentally a selfish person. I am not saying that he doesn't have his moments of kindness, but on the most basic level he prioritizes his own needs above everyone else's. He's right when he says he doesn't sacrifice himself. In fact he's incapable of, or perhaps too stubborn to, sacrifice even the smallest amount of his own comfort for the other person, or to simply make the situation easier - a quality that's crucial for, y'know. Existing within society, not to mention maintaining a romantic relationship. He follows his own curiosities with no regard for anything, he will intentionally make his own life harder just to get what he wants, to end up being right. Even in his affection and care for other people he's always centering himself - when Cuddy is hospitalized, he panics. But his fear doesn't motivate him to support her in this trying time, it consumes him to the point he can't even bring himself to visit her. It doesn't matter that she's the one who's sick, or even that her tumor is benign. The only thing that matters is that he is scared.

Someone might say: "well, yeah, but underneath all of this he's actually full of self-hate". And I agree! Except that fact only contributes to his selfishness. You know how anxiety disorders make you worry about what other people think of you to the point you're not actually focusing on them, but only on yourself and your worst qualities? That's exactly what's happening here. In fact, his overall cynicism and pessimism require that of him. If he believes himself a horrible person, and one incapable of change at that, and also believes in the inherent cruelty of the universe and ultimate egoism of all people, of course he ends up unable to connect with anyone. Like when he ends up pushing Stacy away, because he decides it's not even worth it to give them a chance at happiness - making it all about himself again. He thinks he's unlovable, so he acts like a dick. Because he acts like a dick, no one wants to deal with him. This confirms his assumption that he's unlovable, and the cycle continues.

And the reason these last episodes are so gut-wrenching is because all of that gets completely turned on its head. You see, Wilson and his friendship is House's point of reference, the one stable thing in his life, one thing he can be sure of. He's very cautious about depending on anything and anyone else, and yet in Wilson he puts complete trust. During his time in prison, he admits to one of the men there that he's "peepless", because nobody has ever visited him. Yet once he comes back, he's fully ready to fall into the same routine with Wilson, almost as if the possibility of their friendship ending has never crossed his mind. Because he can do unimaginably stupid and cruel things, he can make everyone hate him, but no matter what he does he will not lose Wilson.

Except that when Wilson gets cancer, he has to face the reality that no matter what he does...he will lose him. And the rug is pulled from under his feet.

Once again, we see House repeat the usual pattern of being so scared of losing people that he panics and abandons them at the time they need him the most. He's so terrified of having to not only witness Wilson's death, but keep on living without him, that he gives in to his most self-destructive tendencies. He takes the cowardly way out, because the alternative would require him to get over himself, to get over his fear and insecurities, to endure it for the sake of being there for someone else. He can't bring himself to, he decides it's just not worth the pain.

Except..in those last moments, when he's debating with himself if he should go through with it, he ends up breaking the goddamn pattern. He goes against his self-centeredness, his stagnancy, the features that are the most central to his whole character and opens himself up to change. House! Who has long accepted that people, and especially him, will never change! He sacrifices not only his comfort, not only his core beliefs, but the very thing he lives for - the puzzle, or more specifically, medicine, just to spend these last few months with his best friend. It doesn't matter that it hurts, it doesn't matter that House has lost all hope and doesn't see the point of it all, he will bear it. Because Wilson needs him..and that's enough.

#DO YOU GET IT DO YOU UNDERSTAND #once again proving how normal I am about them #that's why no matter how sad it makes me I can't bring myself to imagine that house decides to keep living after wilson dies #because wilson is quite literally the only thing that prevents house from killing himself in the first place #he proclaims himself dead to wilson #I like how one person put it... that he's 'living on Wilson's borrowed time'#oh my god I just realized something.#doesn't it make House's relationship with cuddy a parallel to the ending.#he stays clean just to be with cuddy and he stays alive just to be with wilson. oh my god #someone sedate me #house md #hilson #< I guess #h #moje

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maulfucker · 6 months

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AS PROMISED.

Songs I am considering as titles for this fic

I am translating here part of these songs that I find relevant - to some it'll be just the chorus, to others it'll be almost the whole song. The bolded bits are the ones I like the most as potential titles from each of them

1. Amor Distrai (Durin) by Carne Doce

"Tonight I just want to fuck And not make love, Love distracts From finding out every possibility to satisfy me I want to feel in one spot I want to feel the whole thing I want you wild, And a new way to moan You look great In a new way to fuck And don't turn off the lights And don't close the door And let's find out what excites me, what excites you, What to do to make it better Because I only come like this, Loud and clear"

2. Garoto by Carne Doce

"Boy, I get it, let's not pretend You want me and can barely wait And I want you too, it's plain to see I looked at you with that look Easy Costly Gluttonous Vulgar Hungry Eyeing you up I can already feel myself get wet"

3. Me Beija Com Raiva by Jão

"Throw your whole truth in my face And before you leave I catch you, stop And kiss me angrily, kiss me angrily..."

4. Pilantra by Jão & Anitta

"Lie to me, run from me We swear it doesn't count In this way of ours But it's not because I hate you That I can't kiss you anymore"

5. Escorpiano by Jão

"After trying everything Kissing anyone I found in the world Drinking in parks, calling and hearing you on mute I know... After I swore to forget you Lied to myself until I was convinced When I managed to not think only of you Then you show up [...] 'Wish you well' my ass I'm gonna fuck you up You will remember me 'Wish you well' my ass I am not your friend But you made me like this"

6. Quem Te Fez Rainha? by Lupa

"I closed my eyes to not see you I crossed my arms to not want you But my lips tremble from hearing you arrive My feet take me somewhere else My bones scream for you [...] Everything I did, everything I wanted Everything I am, everything that's left [...] I loved in secret so I wouldn't hear I cleaned up my dreams so I wouldn't remember But this knot doesn't want to be untied The ground starts to quake My bones scream for you Ah, if only I wasn't crazy for you..."

7. Tangerina by Tiago Iorc & Duda Beat

"My destiny Suicidal desire Divine death Sweet tangerine..."

8. Hater by Carne Doce

"You are my favorite coward, My pet hater Who loves me in reverse, Hates me with adoration"

(that's just my favoritest from each, you can specify different bits in the comments if you want)

#hm i should make an original post tag #long post #obimaul #for reference currently the title is throw your whole truth in my face #i tried to use smalltext but i couldn't because it's so fucking broken whyyyyy is it so broken!!#i just want my long post to not look THAT long.......#anyways. wahoo it's midnight!!#i'll reblog this again tomorrow for more people to vote #so sad that poetry is so hard to translate. because how the hell do i translate 'te secando eu já me sinto molhar'#(eyeing you up i can already feel myself get wet) in a way that preserves the dry/wet parallel from the original #(secar means to dry up but it also colloquially means to look with desire)#though not necessarily with dry/wet. could be up/down. or something. but i couldn't think of anything.#hater by beloved hater by carne doce is last because it is sweeping in my mind but i wanted to give the others a fighting chance #i might change the series name to that

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bokettochild · 4 months

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Thank to rub salt in the wounds, Twi.

Not only your timeline was perfectly FINE, not only the hero before you isn't DEAD but he left you a sword in a perfect condition.

Twilight didn't have to fight, as a child, to survive in a cruel world. The hero before him did'n't fail, he didn't leave the sword in a horrible condition.

I wonder if Legend has guessed that the hero before Twi was Time, seen Twi's smile. (it's kinda obvious seen how close they are)

Did he guessed that Time was the hero before him too? And he chooses to stay silence to not hurt anyone? Time has never been the hero of time in his timeline after all and is probably died as a child.

But outch Legend's face....it's a mix between "Yep you are a lucky boy" and "if only you knew about the hero before me or maybe "thank to remember me how much a tragic mess my timeline is"

Because Legend is too nice and patient to say "how nice for you, the hero before me died against Ganon, his sword was in a horrible condition with still his blood on her, so much that i have had to reforge her myself! As a CHILD."

No Legend is too nice to take his bitterness on Twilight who did nothing wrong and didn't know. He'll shallow it and says nothing about the sword's condition in his timeline.

I think that's a big part of who Legend is actually! He comes off as really bitter and cold, at least as far as Twilight is concerned, and I wish there was more focus on that interplay.

Twilight met Legend and, based off of a few limited interactions, mentally labeled him as a bully and a jerk and thus treats him accordingly. Not without reason of course, he's drawing mental parallels to actual bullies and Legend is unintentionally checking the boxes, but I think it's sort of sad that until this point, Twilight has still not bothered to get to know Legend at all beyond his initial observations .

But the fact remains that Legend IS from a world that was in shambles, a world where everyone is a threat, if not to everyone else than at least to him. Legend is a prey animal trapped amongst predators with little to no guidance. The cards of fate are stacked against him as far as his world is concerned, and while the goddesses may have granted him additional blessings and favor to make up for that, his world is still magically a mess, physically a mess, and just generally a mess.

The vet has no legacy of proud heroes to look back on. The First Hero died. The Hero of the Four Sword is a raging lunatic who tries to murder children and is sealed beneath the castle. The Hero of Time died in combat. This is the legacy he gets to follow in. Legend doesn't have the hope of becoming like those before, he has the fear of meeting a similar fate because life is never kind to heroes.

Legend's world was left in shambles, and he's had to be the one to help rebuild it, only to watch it get torn down again and again as enemies undo all his hard work. But on a more personal note, Legend has tried again and again to establish himself in the world just to have all the people he loves hurt or harmed on his account.

His Uncle died, and even though he was brought back, he disappears from the timeline shortly after, leaving a kid hero alone in the world. Legend's grandparents have high expectations and aren't the best at listening when he says that their wishes make him unhappy or uncomfortable, and instead push him to follow them anyway, only to themselves disappear from his life once the Oracle adventures are over. Din, Ralph, Raven, Nayru, Moosh, Ricky, Dmitri, all these are people Ledge befriended and was close to and had to say goodbye to again for one reason or another.

Marin.

Legend is always losing the people he loves most, watching his work get thrown in his face and receiving little to no thanks for his work. He's still actively treated like a nuisance and a threat by some people in his kingdom and no doubt there are others who simply don't believe him.

The whole world is against him, and yet the only thing it's done is made him defensive. Ledge isn't cold or cruel, you can see that he actively cares for and worries about the other heroes, he's just guarded more than they are about it. Still, in times of high emotion the walls fall and he's his true self: that kid who's got a heart too big for his own good and is going to get it broken again.

And Legend knows this. Legend actively knows that Twilight isn't fond of him, and that the other heroes regard him as an ass, but rather than correct them, stand up for himself, provide even one of the thousands of reasons he has to guard and defend his heart like he does, he just lets them have their peace because what good would it do to tell them about the losses he's suffered? The world he grew up in? The legacy he has to bear? The terrible fate he no doubt expects to one day meet? What good would it do to make them love him if that will just make their inevitable parting all the harder?

It's hard to lose those you love, but it's easier if you convince yourself they never actually loved you, so you're better off.

So yeah, Twilight is over here unintentionally rubbing salt in the vet's many wounds, but Legend keeps his mouth shut because it does no good to speak up, and in the long run, at least as far as he thinks, it's better to let it be.

I kinda hope Twilight will come to understand the vet better though, and maybe get a peek at what has hardened up the younger hero enough that he comes across the way he does. I'm pretty sure his whole outlook would change if he did, and his respect for the vet would definitely increase.

#lu twilight #lu legend #character analysis #linked universe analysis #asks and answers #linked universe #linkeduniverse

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ccawz · 7 months

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moments IV

a/n: personal fav is ksm <3 my baseball boy 🩷

warnings: some sad themes in Minho, Felix, and Jeongin’s (mostly Lix) slight nudity in hyunjin’s (not explicitly, it’s implied!)

ot8! x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned) established relationships | 1.1k total wc

“Do you think our parallel universe selves are together?” Chan asks quietly, watching patiently for a shooting star to cross the night sky.

Your hand brushes against his, sand follows with it, and you start to regret laying on the sand without a blanket underneath. “I like to think we are.” You reply, “That in every universe I’d find you, or you’d find me, and we’d save each other like we did here.”

Chan doesn’t fight the smile that comes to his face, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss, sputtering when grains of sand land on his tongue.

A laugh comes from you, and Chan melts at the sound. He stares at you like you’re the only one in the world, and in his eyes, you truly are.

“It’s five in the morning.”

At your groggy tone, Minho stares at the clock. Red digits blink tauntingly at him, and he fights the urge to throw the clock across the room. “It’s night over here.”

Silence falls through the line. Minho thinks you’d fallen back asleep– he doesn’t blame you. “I miss you.” He says. He’d only say it when he thinks you aren’t listening. “I want to see you so, so bad.”

He settles onto his bed, looking out the window, staring at the moon who smiles back at him. He scowls. He couldn’t help it. “When I come back home to you, let’s go stargazing.”

He hears you shuffle but doesn’t speak another word. Though his lips curve into a smile when he hears you sleepily mumble out an “okay.”

“Have you taken a break?”

You look at Changbin from the corner of your eye, your typing never stopping even when he’d lean against your desk beside you. “Yes?”

“Honey,” he says, closing his eyes in exhaustion when you don’t acknowledge him any further. “You’re going to burn yourself out if you keep this up.”

“I need you to understand something, Bin.” He nods, lowering himself to his knees to look at you. “I won’t be able to focus on you if this report isn’t done.” He nods again. “I want to be with you, I want to take a break, but I just can’t allow myself to do it right now.” He stands back up, pinching your cheek lightly with a smile.

“I’ll stay with you, maybe get some work done too. Is that okay?” You nod, grateful that he’s always understanding. Even if you’d both be working and not acknowledging each other, just being together was enough for him.

“I think this is cruel and unjust punishment,” Hyunjin says, holding his arms up awkwardly as you mark his skin with dotted lines. “I only ate your food. I thought as a couple we could share things like that.”

“Leftovers are one thing, new food is another.” You say, slapping another sticky note on his body, smiling at the way his eyes close with irritation. “You don’t like me touching you?”

His ears flush red, but the irritation is still apparent on his face as he looks at his body littered with anatomy notes. “I do, but not when it’s study-related.”

“Don’t eat my food then.” You shrug, moving behind him. He feels the marker glide over his shoulder blades, the muscles contracting at the temperature. A kiss on his shoulder makes his body warm, “Thanks for letting me do this.”

“I didn’t,” he grumbles, then in a quieter voice, “You're welcome.”

“Can you wash the dishes?” Jisung looks up at you with pleading eyes, then shuffles over to you when you don’t look up from the magazine in your hands. “Baby, please.”

Your hand brushes his hair back, fingers massaging his head lightly. Jisung nearly moans at the feeling, slumping against your body while your hands travel to the nape of his neck. “Why?”

“I don’t want to do them.” He laughs quietly at his confession, tilting his head when your thumb brushes over his pulse point. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him, smiling when his hair tickles your skin. “Will you do something else instead?” You ask, rubbing his back gently. “If you don’t mind.”

Jisung hums, kissing your arm softly. “I’ll take care of the laundry.”

“When’s the last time we kissed?”

Your eyes flicker to Felix, though there’s a wall of pillows hiding him from you. “I can’t remember.” You turn over, and he’s still facing the ceiling– you’re assuming. “Do you miss me?”

Felix doesn’t respond like you want him to. He keeps quiet and stares at the ceiling decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars you two had put up when you moved in.

“I’m sorry for what I said.” He whispers. The pillow closest to your leg gets tossed to the side. “I didn’t mean it. I was angry and– and you were yelling at me, but you were crying, so I was torn between being mad and comforting you.” The pillow near your waist moved next. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

Finally, the last pillow moved. Felix was crying, not hiding the tears that flowed and dampened his pillow.

“You're holding the bat wrong.” You roll your eyes at Seungmin, groaning when he comes up behind you to adjust your stance. “The way you were standing, you’d trip before you could even leave the plate.”

Seungmin smiles when you lean the slightest into him, nudging you back into place after a second. “Weren’t you a shortstop and the cleanup?”

“Yeah,” you laughed. Pointing the bat at his chest. “That’s how we met.” He smiles, leaning over your shoulder to kiss you. “I’m glad we made the bet that day.”

He quirks a brow, “You’re glad we made a bet that the loser takes the winner on a date? And your team lost?” Your elbow jabs into his stomach, a small groan of pain coming from him.

“Even if my team lost, I won 'cause I got you.”

“Have you gotten any sleep lately?”

You hum, holding the phone between your shoulder and ear. “Can’t sleep without you.” He tuts, and even though you couldn’t see him, you knew he was wagging his finger and shaking his head.

“Baby, you need to rest.”

“I am,” you tell him. It wasn’t a lie. “It just doesn’t come as easy as it does when you’re here.” Jeongin sighs, shuffling about on his end. “Have you been sleeping well?”

“Of course, I actually have a blanket at night.” A chuckle comes from you. Jeongin succeeds in his mission of lifting your mood. “I miss you though. I can’t wait to see you again.”

You hum, smiling to yourself at his open affection. “I’ll be waiting for you.” You can hear his grin through the phone, your smile growing when he laughs quietly.

a/n; making another member!reader vers so I can write another m!reader for this lil series (but I’ll also do a m!reader that’s non member too)

#skz x gn reader #stray kids x gender neutral reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz x male reader #bangchan x reader #lee know x reader #seo changbin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #lee felix x reader #kim seungmin x reader #yang jeongin x reader #lee yongbok x reader #lee minho x reader #bang chan x reader

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o-wild-west-wind · 6 months

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okay, here’s my actual thoughtful post: I get why people are upset about the finale…I really do. but I want to mention that there’s a bigger picture to this story that’s missing if you’re zooming too close onto Izzy as a character, and I’m honestly so grateful that the show stuck to the thematic arc it introduced in season 1 because, as per usual, it’s about the themes 🤌 and this show never skimps on the symbolism!!

so here’s the thing: the primary themes are toxic masculinity (& it’s opposite, queer joy); trauma; love as a healing force for the above; and, title alert—DEATH. because it’s so much more than a cool title!

now, Izzy has always represented something metaphorical about all of these points; most directly, he’s always represented masculinity, and s2 has been an arc of toxicity deconstruction. but crucially, he’s also represented all that for Ed, who is the deuteragonist of this show. because—don’t forget—Stede and Ed are the show.

I’ve always doubted myself for feeling this after seeing how fandom saw Izzy as a third romantic figure (which like by all means have a blast in your fanfics I don’t care it’s about joy at the end of the day and pursue that as you want to), but after hearing something about djenks referring to Izzy as a father figure, it confirms a major point for me—Izzy is also in a lot of ways a parallel to Ed’s dad, and a representation of the trauma and guilt Ed felt from that formative killing. for so long, Izzy was an aggressive shadow in Ed’s life, and a tangible reminder of those daddy issues—someone telling him what to do, keeping him Blackbeard—and the beautiful thing is how that changed this season, how Izzy became a version of masculinity that could love and be beautiful and make good from the hurt, the literal poison into positivity. someone antithetical to his own paternalistic force, healing our daddy issues one drag show at a time. BUT, Izzy is still thematically representative within Ed’s arc—and by also representing the trauma that made Ed “Blackbeard,” it does make smart writing sense as to why Izzy died (NOT saying you can’t be sad about it—stick with me for a moment).

because here’s the thing—as aforementioned, this show is also about DEATH. killing is the root of everyone’s trauma, and reconciling a relationship with death is the ultimate arc Ed and Stede are both on, with the ultimate path of learning to live despite its inevitability. there’s a reason it was such a huge thing that Ed couldn’t personally kill, and then in this episode killed so many people with his bare hands in the name of love—and there’s a reason that was framed as a good thing. and there’s also Ed’s (and arguably Stede’s) active suicidality, which has been a huge force driving this season. these are characters who see death as this all-consuming thing, and they see their own deaths as the only solution. death is the traumatic force driving almost everything about their being for so long—and its reconciliation is everything for them, the greatest sign of growth. so Izzy’s death, and everyone beginning again with love—healing each other with love—is a cap to it all. it’s death as a positive force, for once. it’s death as love, not trauma. it’s death as something that will always happen, but this time not forced by your own hand. it’s a death to everything toxic, to what “Blackbeard” represented, and all the while a sort of rebirth. it’s kind of a death to…death? it’s functionally like the real physical moon replacing the giant romantic imaginary orb: it’s taking the thing that’s been artificially morphed in Stede and Ed’s heads and making it real this time, with all the bittersweet emotions that come with tangible reality.

and honestly, I’m glad that it was tragic and emotional. I didn’t think I’d be so devastated to see Izzy die, but it really did get to me, especially because of everything he said to Ricky and then to Ed. but think of it this way: Izzy and Ed might be romantically compelling because they were toxic and charged (and I hope people still enjoy everything they get from that dynamic in fan work), but imagine if the show had actually gone in that direction—where would it take us thematically? it would kill the thesis; it would be love as chaos and entertainment, but not healing. instead, this show gave us something so much more powerful: a legitimate, fully-fleshed trauma arc.

trauma hurts. Izzy’s death hurts. but that’s okay. that’s great, actually! it means the storytelling was effective—that Izzy’s arc made you feel something. and i know this won’t be every viewer’s experience, but honestly? I’m glad I can have this grieving process in such a beautifully framed light in the safe space ship of this show, because let’s be real—death, real life death, fucks you up. and let me tell you, I could’ve used this show during so many episodes of grief in my life. but here it is now, reminding us that our grief and trauma doesn’t define us—and WHAT a powerful thing for queer love, especially, to be presented as the thing that heals us all. ESPECIALLY when so much grief and death in this community is woven so deeply with the trauma of our identity.

so grieve as you need to, but don’t forget to turn the poison into positivity 💛 because that’s what the show is telling us—choose live, despite!

#djenks out here paying my therapy bill yet again #I feel like I need a million disclaimers for this post so just assume I’ve said all of them #and remember that art that hurts isn’t always a bad thing!#I didn’t think I’d have coherent thoughts yet I swear I blacked out and wrote this here we are #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd meta #tw: death #death #tw: suicide #suicide

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jellyjays · 5 months

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transfem kuai liang headcanon

hi. as a precursor to this whole post, i'm going to give the forwarning that i am absolutely batshit insane about this. if one could call an avid fan of something 'down the rabbit hole', then i am in the core of the fucking planet of this. i am thinking about her at all hours of the day. i have a several thousand WC braindump doc that i still need to elaborate on. with that said, if you're willing to give a look-see, jump down the rabbit hole with me as i give you the rundown.

i have many, many, many words about her. many of them. but i'll try to summarize my reasoning for this particular headcanon because it's actually much much deeper than the initial vibes.

THE DEEPER REASONING

kuai as a character seems really closed-off and disconnected. especially when we first meet him. he's duty first, no-nonsense. he's quiet. and then we get to know him more, and to know bi-han more, and there's this... sense of unease, somewhat? like bi-han, we can see that he is standing on firm foundations of his ideals. we know what he wants. we know who he is. he stays true to these ideals, even by betraying his brothers to join the side of shang tsung and quan chi. he is a character who knows what he wants and we can predict his actions based on it. on the other hand, in contrast, kuai liang seems almost... unstable, in a sense, and adrift. we only really get to know the fact that he valued his father's teachings. and bi-hans betrayal seems to throw him even more adrift.

and being adrift and unstable on his foundations is a trait i see VERY often in my own experience and in the experience of my transfem friends (and here we hit my biggest point on why i headcanon kuai liang as transfem-- the sheer number of parallels between his story and trans experiences).

when bi-han betrays the lin kuei, and in turn, kuai and smoke, kuai has no issues taking down SEVERAL fighters along with general shao-- and you can sense the rage that fuels it (yet another parallel with trans experience). that feeling of 'i put faith in you, i trusted you,', and in this case, 'i followed you, i am who i am because of you, i changed myself for you, and you repay me with this?'

it's unbelievable pain and anger and betrayal, and though he eventually calms enough that he goes back to his quiet, calculative self, it's earth-shaking. this parallels a lot of the feeling, in the trans experience, of the betrayal you feel when your loved ones, the ones you trusted, you changed yourself for, turn to transphobia and terf rhetoric. turn to the beliefs you know hurt people (earthrealm, or your trans friends) and hurt you, and make you their new target.

i'm sad we don't get much focus on kuai liang after that chapter of the story-- i'd pay good money to get an expansion of his story. we know at the very least that he goes on with smoke to form the shirai ryu, and train the young hanzo hasashi, but that tells us nothing, so i don't have a lot to work with. but that gives a lot of wiggle room when making guesses at his character.

reviewing what we know, i reiterate that parallels make kuai liang's character incredibly readable as trans-coded. and i will say now that i know nothing about him screams 'fem!', but i see his character as transfem because of other things-- once again, parallels. kuai liang, as a character, is very clearly honor-driven. he values, above all, his family. his lost father, his bonds with his brothers. his clan. and on top of that, none of his character reads... as 'man' to me. kuai just doesn't read as someone who identifies with a man to me. by that, i mean that he does not seem... comfortable or confident in his masculinity. and that disconnect, once again, is a DIRECT parallel to trans experiences.

THE FUN STUFF

ok now that i've gotten that out of my system i can tell you about the more fun headcanons i have around her heheh

uses she/he pronouns

smoke gave her a golden scorpion-shaped hair claw and she uses it ALL THE TIME.

she likes to wear eyeliner in everyday life and do fancy eyeliner for battle

he and smoke have bonding time while smoke braids her hair. she very frequently falls asleep during braiding time.

smoke is also her biggest supporter, but hanzo is very frequently fighting for the title.

i will be adding more as i think about it. this is all for today. i hope you enjoyed this post. ok byeeeee

#fem kuai liang #i will tag all posts about this with that #mk1 kuai liang #mk1 art #mk1 #mk1 2023 #mk1 bi han #mk1 scorpion #mk1 headcanons #trans headcanon #connor is mk1posting again #kuai liang fanart #scorpion fanart

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sgiandubh · 4 months

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What makes a very mature and educated woman confuse the charisma of Jamie and Claire and fall behind the illusion of Sam and Cait?

Look at this picture and many others, look at Cait's smile and the happiness in her eyes

Look at the color of Tony's lips, I don't need to continue

Below this picture are many pictures of them from many years ago

This man has been a reality since 2015, so let us accept reality even if we do not like it

Note: I would love to read everything you write aside from Outlander and S&C

Dear (b)Itchy Anon,

Ah, yes. You folks are definitely a very predictable bunch, because you simply cannot help yourself and just have to do it. Every. Single. Christmas. Eve. For reasons transparent enough to make you & your kin instantly unlikeable.

I was just thinking, the other day, believe it or not. I was thinking of the disingenuous way you - or someone like you - engaged with @cb4tb on another Christmas Eve and told myself: 'I bet the farm this year it's going to be me'. And here we are, with a rather long - and also, rather curious- comment. What am I going to do with you, Anon? Just write a rather long and ironic answer to your delirious rant, what else?

Calling me 'very mature' made me spit my Pepsi - always better in Romania than the eternal Coca-Cola - and I have to dubiously and cheaply congratulate myself, too. In about six months, you were forced to transition from 'Christ, shippers are stupid' to 'Golly, some -if not most - of them really are educated people'. An apparent paradox that never made you question your surroundings.

For instance, I do not need to wear a turban, sport a cigarette holder, rent a garish tent and call myself Miss Cleo, in order to tell with eerie precision English is not your mother tongue, either. You still do have a big problem with phrasal verbs, because you couldn't have possibly meant I 'fell behind the S&C illusion', but rather that 'I fell for that illusion'. You see, falling behind is 'failing to do something in time' or 'being late with a due payment' or 'being unable to make the same progress as one's peers'. We, shippers, naturally have this kind of superpowers. And seasoned bullshit-o-meters, too.

For your information, I haven't. I explained it at length. There is no possible way to do it if one uses common sense and street smarts only. What I did see, along with thousands of other people, mind you, had absolutely -forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin again - fucking nothing to do with Seamus and Sorcha. I mean, d'oh - is this your best argument, Anon? That sad, wilted talking point? Wow. Just wow.

Then, you totally lose control and take The Scarecrow out of the closet (yes, pun totally intended), in the hope you'll make me screech with dread & horror, I suppose. Exactly which one of the five to ten max Tait pics am I supposed to look at? The one at the marathon, where he checks her pulse? The one in Australia, when he pitifully dangles that stick on a beach? The one with the flute? The fist-in-hand one? The one at this year's IFTA, where she looks through him and he begs for a smile? I shall never know, because you do not add any picture and since I am not Miss Cleo, there's no way I could ever guess. Instead, you describe Neverland in Technicolor, lips included (so help me God, I never looked at McIdiot's lips: I take pride in being mentally sound). Indeed, there is no need to continue, Anon, lest you would insist to ridicule yourself.

This man has been a (questionably) useful prop since 2016, in order to give credence to a narrative. You all know it. You all deny it. You live in a parallel reality, currently embraced by PR. Amen. That does not give you the right to police this fandom and no, your derailed zeal will not get you any Brownie points from C.

Speaking only for myself, I will tell you one last time: I will never blindly accept a convenient compromise fiction just because TPTB and/or PR tell me so.

Note: I doubt my writing interests you. I really do, because I don't deal in fanfic. And even if I am an Oriental, know flattery never worked with me. In fact, I can't stand it.

It's Christmas. Take a break from all this pathetic hatred, Anon: if you have but a cell left of humanity in yourself, you can't possibly be proud of this message and there are far more interesting and meaningful ways to spend this special day. He came for you, too. And that is the most important thing in the world, right now.

#anon #fandom #shitshow

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loveyourownsmiilee · 1 year

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Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.17

Well friends, we’re almost done with season sex, I mean six! It’s honestly been such a rollercoaster journey, one in which we’ve had great moments and some not so great ones. I’m really looking forward to the finale episode and seeing how they’re going to tie everyone’s storylines for this season and how they’re going to set up their upcoming arcs for season 7. There was a lot of foreshadowing and parallels in this episode that I believe will play a pivotal role for Buddie’s eventual romantic pairing. So I’m just going to get into this week’s meta!

Proposal Gone Wrong

The proposal gone wrong was kind of sad in my opinion. I mean you don’t necessarily need to do something drastic to assure your significant other will respond positively. It kind of creates this notion in which the other person feels forced to say yes because you did that grand gesture, which is exactly what happened here. The guy proposed to his girlfriend of 2 years by jumping off a building, got stuck in a freak accident and she said yes because she felt like she had to. The little moment she had with Eddie and Chim is what I want to focus on a bit here.

E: So what do you wanna do?

M: I guess I’ll wait a few months and then break it off.

Now the reason I bring this up is because doesn’t this remind you of something else? Didn’t Eddie also date Ana for months and thought he should keep going only because his kid loved her? He waited and then broke it off when he knew it wasn’t right for him. Now this can also possibly foreshadow his next relationship if he decides to actually give Marisol a chance. I mean I’ll go more into that later on. But I think if he does date her, possibly out of fear of being alone, it can easily be assumed that he’ll wait a few months before he breaks it off because deep inside he knows she’s not the one for him. I just feel like this line not only wanted us to remember Eddie’s been there but that it’s possible he’ll be in a position like this again.

Buck and Eddie Acting Like Idiots

The scene at the station was so funny and I love how we once again got to see how in tune Buck and Eddie are with each other. Not only were they both wearing the blue and green once again, but they were finishing each other’s thoughts once more, thus reminding everyone how in sync they always are.

E: I gotta figure out how to say no to another date my Tia set me up with.

B: Just download a dating app.

E: I did but I can’t bring myself to open it.

Hmm well this reminds me of someone else. Didn’t Bobby make a whole firefighters dating profile back in season 1? And he didn’t even end up using it. So that can parallel the fact that Eddie also downloaded a dating app but still has yet to actually use it. This was only the beginning of Eddie’s storyline heavily mirroring Bobby’s from season 1 and I’ll go more into it in a bit!

We also have Buck and Eddie finishing each other’s sentences like they’re this old married couple. They’re always on the same wavelength and it drives me crazy because with each episode we are reminded how perfect they are for each other.

E: Get the insurance money.

B: Buy a new ring and propose.

Eddie’s Attempts At Finding a Date

I really can’t help myself but laugh at how much gayer Eddie gets with and every episode. The entire little failed dating, well no I should say attempts at finding dates, was so sad. How can a man who looks that good with that dump truck fail at attracting women?? Well his little gay outfits didn’t help either. When have we ever seen that man in anything other than a Henley? I didn’t even know Eddie was capable of having such tight clothes like that lol.

The thing that makes me laugh is that he’s trying to find a person to date at places he wouldn’t normally be. Golfing? I do not believe for one second Eddie would play golf nor would he the kind of guy who’d find enjoyment in doing it with a partner. So the fact that we got to see him “put himself out there” but not really make any actual attempts really just highlights that he’s open to finding love but is kind of going about it the wrong ways. And he’s still lying to his son about it considering he told Chris he was running errands lol.

Buck and Natalia Give It Another Shot

I find it very interesting that Buck took Natalia to a bar of all places on a date. The only times we’ve seen him in a bar setting in relation to other love interests were when he hooked up with Taylor in s2 and when he kissed Lucy in s5. So to bring Natalia on a date here really makes me question what his reasoning behind that idea was.

B: This seemed as good as a place as any for you to get to know the real Evan Buckley.

L: Really? I have a few stories.

Lucy interrupting his date and then proceeding to tell Natalia all about her history with Buck in so many words was a literal sign from the universe. Not only did we get Natalia already judging Buck for his past but also questioning him when he was being honest and genuine about his past whatever with Lucy.

B: Uh hey, what do you think the tip is?

N: They gave you 3 options right down here. You alright?

B: Yeah no I don’t know why I couldn’t figure it out.

N: You’re flustered.

B: It was nothing I promise.

I think the fact that Buck just can’t do math all of a sudden to be such a bold choice of the writers. His entire math superpowers were connected to Eddie and Christopher. He realized he was the guy with the answers while looking at his Diaz boys. Then Eddie even took him out to put those newfound powers to good use all dressed up. So there was no need to mention that he can’t figure out the correct too amount while he’s with Natalia unless it was deliberately done to empathize how he clearly doesn’t have the answers while he’s with the wrong person. It was such an obvious random thing that wasn’t so random when you think about the connection to his math powers and what it can mean.

Natalia also wrongly assuming he can’t figure out the tip because he’s flustered just further proves she doesn’t really see him the way he initially believed. She was skeptical and looked at him like he was hiding something away from her. Her eyes were disbelieving which isn’t a great foundation to start a new relationship on.

Even the color theory checks out here to further confirm Natalia is not the one for Buck. Both dates they’ve been on by this point, she’s been in red, whereas Buck has been in tan/beige. He’s not wearing blue at the same time she’s wearing red.

The 118 Discuss Buck & Eddie’s Dating Lives

Once again I absolutely adore each and every time we see the 118 discuss their personal problems/lives in the truck. This was the scene we had spoiled to us months ago and it was definitely different than what we all were expecting!

B: Does she request to not come back?

Eddie’s side eye during Buck asking about Lucy is totally on brand for every other time we’ve seen Eddie react to one of Buck’s old flings. Especially this season where we’ve seen him dismiss Buck any time he mentions previous lovers. Love me some jealous Eddie!

E: So your day off went as good as mine?

H: Hiking and golfing in the same day? Sounds like you were out there looking for signs too Eddie.

E: You know I don’t believe in that stuff. I want what I had when I met Shannon. It just uh, it was magic.

C: Oh so you believe in magic?

E: I believe in chemistry.

H: Ahh in science. I get it.

B: The magic, weren’t you guys in the 12th grade when you met?

E: 8th and then we lost touch. Reconnected in 12th.

Eddie, oh Eddie. The fact that this man has had many different signs and he refused to listen to each and every one is worrisome because he thinks he’s looking for magic instead. Isn’t magic just another form of a sign from the universe? This man is trying to use chemistry as an excuse as to why he’s not having any luck finding someone. Well chemistry is definitely not something you force with another person. Chemistry is something that should be natural and organic and believable. To be honest, Eddie didn’t even have that much chemistry with Shannon from what we’ve seen. They were attracted sexually and that was it. They didn’t spend much time together on screen to make that chemistry between the two of them palpable enough for the audience. There’s also many different types of chemistry and they definitely had sexual chemistry but seemed to lack actual romantic and emotional chemistry.

The topic of chemistry was very poignant especially because we’ve seen time and time again how much organic chemistry Eddie has with Buck. They’ve been attached at the hip since the beginning and always gravitate to each other. Not only that but they’re both very vulnerable with each other and turn to each other in times of need, which assures emotional chemistry. We’ve also seen Eddie flirt and tease Buck many times throughout the years which indicates a form of sexual chemistry as well. Do I need to remind anyone of the kitchen scene™️ in season 3? So it is possible for Eddie to have chemistry with someone. I just believe it has to be someone he already knows and trusts. He believed he had chemistry with Shannon, who was a longtime friend of his. Well what is Buck? Surely Eddie has got to know that they have chemistry with each other. There’s just got to be something preventing him from connecting those dots to Buck.

B: Ok so that’s what it is. You suck at dating.

BN: Alright Buck, come on.

B: Ah, come on. If he met his wife when they were kids, he just hasn’t really dated.

I’ve been saying for many years now that one of Eddie’s favorite past times is looking at Buck. This season especially has shown how intensified those looks have been. One thing I found interesting was that as he was talking to Buck and the team, he rarely was holding any eye contact with Buck which indicates he wasn’t all that comfortable discussing the matter. The moment in which Buck diverts his attention elsewhere, Eddie defaults to his typical fond longing looks at Buck. He looks at him for a prolonged time and only looks away when Buck turns back around. He literally looks mesmerized by Buck just talking and even lifts his brows up so slightly like one would when they’re looking at someone they adore. That in itself indicates a secret in which Eddie’s hiding from Buck and that secret may very well be his feelings for the other man.

C: So he sucks at it.

B: Yes!!

H: Clearly you’ve mastered it Buck.

Eddie’s reaction to Buck agreeing with Chim is hilarious because he immediately gives Buck his patented side eyes. He feels betrayed by Buck in that moment because he’s clearly taken Buck out and he didn’t suck at that. He’s kind of looking at Buck like “Are you serious right now? You know I don’t.” It’s in the subtle way his right brow lifts up in question that makes me believe that. There has to have been a reason the show gave us Buck and Eddie on that poker date before both men started dating other women. It shows a vast difference in how successful that day was compared to their other disastrous dates with others.

One more thing I would like to mention is once again Buck and Eddie’s strong mirroring. When they’re both singing the bride song, their hands and bodies are moving the same way, to the same beat. I know it can be seen as them just being silly but even though Bobby was also singing, he’s not in sync with his body as the other two clearly are lol.

Eddie and Bobby Go To The Hardware Store

Like when Eddie was dating Ana and he was sorta lying to his son about it, he’s doing the same now. He told Christopher he had been running errands when he was going places in hopes of finding a woman to date. The fact that Eddie feels the need to lie to Christopher about it shows that it’s not something he wants to be doing nor does he feel like it’s the right thing for him. There’s something about his actions that makes him feel like it’s not good enough to let his son know yet.

Eddie calling up his future father in law for help was so sweet and I enjoyed their little scene together, especially because their conversation was very important. Not only was it important but it really did scream Bathena/Buddie parallels.

E: So how’s you make it happen for you and Athena?

BN: We got called to a motorcycle accident, it was a bad one. I wasn’t at my best at the time. Needed to take a minute. She sat with me. Eventually I asked her to go to church and we prayed together.

E: Wow.

BN: A few days later we had dinner, things grew from there and now we’re about to have our fourth anniversary.

E: So you definitely weren’t looking for it.

Honestly I feel like every time Bobby gives Eddie any kind of advice about his love life, Eddie just misinterprets or misunderstands what he’s trying to say lol. Bobby literally used his own example of how he and Athena came to be which immediately made me think of Eddie’s own past. We all thought of Eddie’s breakdown in season 5 and how Buck was the one who sat next to him. Eddie wasn’t at his best, he needed a minute and Buck was the one who sat next to him. Buck was the one who stayed at his house, helped with his kid, and just was there supporting Eddie in any way he could have. That whole line of Eddie telling Bobby that he wasn’t looking for it can possibly foreshadow him finally opening his eyes and realizing the one who he’s been searching for has always been someone right under his nose. Someone who he didn’t have to go and look for because they’ve always been right by his side.

Buck’s Second Disastrous Date Night

Poor Buck really isn’t listening to the universe is he? This time, during his other date with Natalia, they’re first interrupted by Taylor Kelly on TV talking about her tell all book which was inspired by a member of the 118 she was close with. Natalia quickly puts 2 and 2 together and asks Buck about it, in which he says he’ll explain over dinner. Once again, Buck is having to explain himself and kind of assure her when it’s too early in the “relationship” for her to be questioning him the way she is.

B: Uh, and-and that’s everyone. I think. I-I hope that’s not too much.

N: No. Wow that is a life well lived. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite like you. You’re all in about everything. It’s a lot. But I guess I can be a lot too.

Buck is looking so intensely at her, trying to see if she understands where he’s coming from and if it will be a deal breaker. He smiles and nods to himself when it seems that she is understanding about his past which hurts when you realize this man just wants someone to love and accept him for all of him, the good bad and the ugly.

And then they get intruppted by Kameron coming in because of her marital issues with Connor. A literal sign from the universe. (Not even going to talk about all the 3’s we got just in this episode alone!) Natalia once again thinks it’s a lot and needs a minute to take it all in. She decides then that a person who has lived so much life and has more life to give others is too much for her. She decides to leave and tells Buck to “take care” which is the same exact thing his ex girlfriends have all said to him.

Now this, to me, indicates a failed attempt at a relationship because things are never going to work out with these two. Not only was she only seemingly interested in Buck’s death, but she doesn’t even want to know more about the life he’s lived. He’s an interesting man so full of energy and love and life that it scares her and makes her want to flee. That’s not a strong foundation in which to start a relationship on and even if she were to come back afterwards, I feel as though Buck has learned from his previous relationship to not settle and compromise who he is for anyone. He’s not going to change for anyone else. Who is meant to be his partner will love him for who he is anyways. Something Natalia clearly can’t do.

Eddie and Buck Not Listening To The Signs

The end montage was funny when you look at everyone off doing what they were doing. We have all the couples together and then we see Eddie go back to the hardware store. He’s clearly looking for something and he can’t find it until someone asks him if he’s looking for soemthing.

I want to talk about Marisol and Eddie’s body language here and how different it is when they both look at each other. Marisol is being flirty and leads into him with her hips first which clearly indicates some type of attraction. Eddie on the other hand takes a step forward and then one back. He doesn’t lean into her, doesn’t prompt a hug or anything. Asks her about her ceiling which indicates he clearly remembers her from a call.

M: Try this one. Works like magic.

E: This is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.

Here she mentions magic, something in which Eddie was talking about previously in this episode. He kept saying he wanted what he and Shannon had and that was magic. Magic isn’t real. Magic is things people believe to be real and in this instance, Eddie believes what he had with Shannon was magic, when in reality it wasn’t. They worked hard for their relationship and there were a lot of ups and downs. Marisol saying that and Eddie immediately following up with how that’s what he was looking for is so important because that’s realistically what he had been searching for all episode long on those failed attempts at finding magic. Here we have a woman telling him and he just stops for a moment and thinks about it. He stops and thinks, hey maybe this is my sign. But he walks away. He stops and looks back but there’s clear confusion on his face, almost as if he doesn’t know what fo make about this little interaction. Clearly there’s something on his mind. But he turns around and keeps walking away from her while the music says “But you’re something that I must believe in and you’re there when I reach out for you.”

This would’ve been the perfect conclusion to his arc this episode. He was looking for magic, it took someone else pointing it out to him to see and he believed that’s what he wanted. But he didn’t do anything about it. He simply walked away. Because he doesn’t believe in it. He doesn’t believe in Marisol or believe her to be the one for him. Because he knows if he were to reach out for help, it wouldn’t be Marisol he reaches out to, at least that’s what my interpretations were. Remember, Eddie says to Bobby, “So you definitely weren’t looking for it” and as soon as Marisol points out the thing, he tells her “This is what I was looking for.” Marisol can’t be the person he’s meant to be with because as we established with Bobby, that someone is never going to be someone Eddie looks for. It’s going to be someone who knows Eddie, someone who can sit beside Eddie when he’s at his lowest and offer their support to him. Someone that’s been under Eddie’s nose this entire time. That’s not Marisol and I think Eddie’s realizing that himself.

(Now if we were to get Eddie somehow misunderstanding this and running into Marisol later on, thinking it’s a definite sign and trying to date her, we already know it’s going to fail because we’ve seen it play out once before with Ana. So regardless, it’s not really something I’m worrying over.)

Finally we get Buck going back to his loft with the pickles Kameron asked for. He goes up to his room and sees Kameron sleeping in his bed. He looks for a moment and turns around and heads back downstairs. Now to me, the quick look he gave her shows longing for that himself. A partner to come home to and a family of his own.

Buck sitting on his uncomfortable couch and eating the pickles while he looks up indicates he’s still a guest in his own home. He’s kicked out of his bed and he’s looking up once again defeated because he longs to have that for himself. This coming right after Natalia leaving him and once again being left completely alone. He’s also missing what’s right in front of him because he just doesn’t listen to the universe. He’ll get there soon, I believe in it.

So sorry for this being so late this week! I’ve been sick and work has been very very crazy. I hope anyone who is still interested and reads this enjoys it! I appreciate you all regardless. Thanks to my love @aa-lionheart for the wonderful gifs 💜 We got one more of these for the season! Manifesting for it to be good for us ✨

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie language meta #buddie meta #911 meta #911 on fox

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heavyweightheart · 2 years

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i’ve spent most of my life in milieus where beauty culture had a muted influence. i currently work with a group of body liberationists who don’t wear bras or makeup lol (a statement?? see: sara ahmed). but recently i’ve been sucked into the vortex of skincare youtubers, media writers, redditors, bloggers, etc. and i’m soooo very interested in this phenomenon (tho only moderately interested in skincare itself). there are such interesting and disturbing parallels to diet culture, a lot of which are obvious. there’s also a subtler dynamic that i’ve been observing, and i and others have named it about diet culture, and i’ll call it the “moderation frame.”

the moderation frame in diet culture gives injunctions like: don’t be overly preoccupied with food and diet (cringe! get the dsm!); but don’t just eat whatever you feel like eating (the body isn’t that trustworthy)/we all know intervention in your instinctive diet and body’s processes is needed; have thorough nutritional knowledge but only trust The Credentialed Experts (many of whom are in fact untrustworthy). we’re expected to do quite a bit of work to maintain a certain nutritional state and a certain body status. but the state and status are culturally determined, along with their desirability--without the baseline assumption that there is only one right way to have a body, there is no point in the quest to attain it. and of course, i am deeply critical of norming the quest to obtain it, bc bodies can in fact be trusted to regulate eating, shape, and size largely on their own. we are intervening in processes that don’t need intervention, and the intervention itself is the point--to keep us distracted, self-hating, and buying.

the analogue in skincare and “anti-aging” is sth like: don’t go overboard (sad! bimbofication!), but obviously you can’t just :/ let your skin have wrinkles and spots :/ i think we can all agree that’s [a horror] to be avoided. and the knowledge these people have (superficial and memed as it is), even lay people, about skin and skincare ingredients? it’s a staggering investment that requires, and so like orthorexia and other EDs where we become encyclopedias of nutrition facts. and dermatologists are some of the worst peddlers of cosmetic skincare bullshit, like many nutrition and medical professionals (particularly if they have influencer status) in the area of food/body.

in both areas, too, it makes sense to be thoughtful--that we’re eating enough and eating in ways that support our own bodies; that we’re taking care with skin cancer risk. but what’s demanded of us as good citizens and consumers in skincare and diet cultures is, again, an anxious preoccupation that’s based in the assumption that the body can’t just be, can’t simply be what it is. it has to be controlled and normed and understood “scientifically” to that end. it’s all so very rational, right??

we’re all aware of the political underpinnings and implications of these things. awareness of those things is literally my job! and even i get sucked in. i am not immune to propaganda, and neither are you. it’s good to reflect on our investments of time, energy, money, and emotion. i have personally pulled myself out of a week-long skincare-culture hyperfixation quagmire and i won’t be going back!

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user-needs-new-hyperfixation · 11 months

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Trying to start a giant-ass meta on why I ship Mycroft/Albert and what there is to see of it and right off the bat I'm like...I want people to look at every single panel of their interactions.

No, it's not Sherliam levels. And BIG OLD DISCLAIMER: very little of what I'm going to present here is like "We were clearly intended to read it this way." I'll always argue that Sherliam is meant to be romantic: it hits so many well-established notes and tropes it's almost impossible to think otherwise. MycAl is a bit different. I do think it's definitely like...we're welcome and even invited to see it. But a LOT of my shipping it comes from the way I personally read and interpret things. So this is about explaining what I'm seeing that makes me ship it, rather than trying to be like "This is canon and you should agree with me." Anyway, for reference, I'll be using the official translation as far as it goes and then swapping to teawaffles' wonderful translation for the rest!

So...like right off the bat throughout the entirety of their Chapter 4 interactions their body language and expressions and ways of talking are so flirty? (Also, I still find it funny that in the manga Mycroft is introduced before Sherlock and thus Mycal is introduced before Sherliam. Older bros first lol.)

Maybe it's just that 2 decades on the internet have skewed me towards reading suggestiveness into everything, but the way Mycroft addresses Albert feels so flirtatious even if he's literally just being normal. "And what would an Indian Army official such as yourself want from an intelligence official such as myself this late in the evening?" Like...am I crazy? Does that not kinda sound like a porn intro? 😂 (This could also be Sherliam Side-effects. The way they call each other Professor and Detective in That One Scene is like...almost undeniably foreplay. Now every time anyone calls each other by title/profession/rank is this series I assume they're hitting on each other.)

But also Albert is just so...handsy throughout that scene. He's touching Mycroft's knickknacks, and just sort of limp-wristing all over the place. And I mean, I think that's just one of Albert's public-facing personas (customer service peeps, you know what's up) but it definitely lends itself to the existence of Vibes.

Anyway, there's this parallel of "You have my attention. What do you want?" that I think is kinda neat. (But look how comparatively sad Mycroft looks in the second version!!!)

Chapter 4:

Chapter 23:

Btw, in Scandal in the British Empire...why does Mycroft introduce himself to the Queen? Never mind, not why we're here. Again, my weird innuendo sensors perk up in Chapter 17 at "I did not drag you out of bed this early for nothing." Maybe it's because my perception of Victorian niceties, whether it's factual or not, is that there was this sense of avoiding talk of physical realities. We don't speak of pregnancy, we speak of "her condition" and "confinement." We don't "go to bed," we "retire." And so on. So conversely, it feels almost suggestive to even acknowledge that someone was in bed. In whatever state of undress the might imply. *Kellen Goff Sasaki voice:* OOOH how sCanDaLOus. (Mind you I DON'T believe there is anything of authorial intent in this, again, just trying to explain the factors that make me read things a certain way.)

The little mind games: Albert immediately recognizing that he's being tested, and Mycroft well aware that something is off, that he and Albert are using each other to their own ends. All juicy ship ingredients.

Then there's this...I can't articulate why it's important. But it is. Something about mouths and thoughts. If I wasn't terribly lazy, I'd go digging for examples in various manga series and I have a pretty firm suspicion that I could prove that, often, Mouth-Focus Thinking Panel + Name = Ship.

Jumping forward to the start of The Riot in New Scotland Yard (Chapter 29), Mycroft's demeanour has really changed. During the meeting at the British Museum he's radiating "I'm not angry I'm just disappointed" energy. He's tense, he's not sure if the Moriartys are enemies and when he understands their plan he seems understandably sad about it even as he accepts it. But now, he's radiating an almost Sherlock-like excitement. He's just gotten to see a miniature version of The Plan in action during the Jack the Ripper case, and it worked. He says he's just visiting Albert as an acquaintance (read: friend in Mycroftian), and that's what it feels like. They're chummy. It's cute. Also Albert teasing Mycroft over his squabbles with Sherlock when he leaves? When did Albert find out about that, hmm? (I mean, could be spying of course. But I like to think it just suggests they've talked more than we've seen.)

Annnnnd....cutting this part off here because I'm bored of it for now and it's long. I'll do the rest when the mood strikes. 😂

#yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #mycal #alcroft #meta or something #been a while since i've done one of these 'not meta so much as just a disorganized stream of consciousness' long-posts lol

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zeephyre · 6 months

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CR3 EPISODE 78 SPOILERS

god. i love this fucking campaign. this one's gonna be long as shit.

despite how genuinely depressing this episode was, it also made me really giddy because i love hurt/comfort and there's no point of that if there's no hurt or angst.

im probably gonna go down the line with each member of bells hells, discussing what i can remember off the top of my head, i hope i don't forget anything in my rambles cause this was one of my FAVORITE episodes of the whole campaign and that's saying something.

i love ashton. i have loved ashton the most since the very beginning and for a lot of it i was really worried that ashton was deliberating running from opening up with bells hells while also going out of their way to have one-to-one convos with different members that were deep and insightful but never went as far as they needed to.

i am projecting a bit with analysis of ashton but taliesin does it best when rp'ing for ash and generally talking abt him in interviews. ashton reminds me of myself, which is not a compliment and is actually really terrible. ironically enough, ashton said the same thing abt fcg. i have spent a lot of time hurting myself by sabotaging the things i love, or embracing the worse parts of myself simply because it's become habit. there's always going to be a piece of you that finds the sadness, anger, guilt, emptiness, whatever -- comforting because it's all you've known.

ashton mourns a life that he never lived. i find myself mourning versions of myself that i would hate but still...yearn for them like an itch or an ache that comes from hurt. ashton wanted their family back, in whatever desperate, corrupted way he felt he should have done it, and hearing how he described feeling like he looked past the cautionary tale simply because he thought the pain they caused him should have meant something else made me think of imogen.

beautiful, sweet, powerful, dangerous, sad imogen temult. i won't comment on how everyone berated ashton because that's not really surprising nor was anything imogen said or did pertaining to ash shocking whatsoever. but... there's smth abt the destruction that ashton did to feel close to the idea of a family that doesn't really exist that just parallels so well with the fight that imogen has been undergoing since childhood. against the red storm, now against the call of ruidus, and the temptation and attachment she felt and still feels to her mother, despite everything liliana has done that jeopardizes everything imogen is fighting for.

abandoned by her mother, shunned by her own town, ignored and feared by her father.

going back to ashton again, there's smth to be said abt the guilt and shame that comes from making horrible choices that put yourself and the ppl you love in danger that forever changes the way they perceive you. I've done it. i had to fight to make things better. it can't be enough to love someone enough that would die for them, you have to fight to stay alive. if not even for yourself, for THEM.

i know it can be unhealthy to rely on others so much, but it's certainly not easy to fight for yourself when the foundation isn't there. learning how to love without throwing yourself on a blade is more important than self sufficiency. that comes afterwards.

i...don't like laudna's reliance on delilah briarwood this episode. i... there's smth very ironic about laudna being worried abt ashton's betrayal and the way he hurt her and the others with his deception and selfishness, coupled with my understanding of the absolute fucking insane, borderline stupid danger of even SPEAKING to delilah briarwood, let alone working WITH her.

i think it's hypocritical, but i don't feel any animosity towards laudna. just..sadness. delilah is a parasite. a disgusting, cruel, evil bitch who wants laudna to be... that weak little girl easily crushed under her thumb. she may preach abt laudna's latent power and potential, but laudna won't serve her purpose if she TRULY gains the strength to cast delilah aside forever. i don't think delilah was telling the truth abt their fates last episode, and that's why i so deeply want laudna to toss aside that defeatist mindset that has only gotten worse since episode one. maybe im wrong, maybe delilah was actually being genuine.

i kept watching imogens/laura's face during laudna's moments speaking with delilah alone, and it just made me sad because she didn't need to be alone. she had imogen, but she still felt the need to run and hide away. god i just want her to be happy.

i really liked the doll she made for ashton, even though delilah made it really creepy for no reason, the dramatic cunt she is. her assessment of ashton as being a child may seem rude or even a projection but to me it's the truth. ashton has not grown past his childhood. past abandonment and pain and mistrust and love that never lasts and always hurts. that shit followed them to adulthood and anyone who has any number of mental illnesses and childhood trauma will tell you that it's so easy to feel yourself stuck as a reactive, stubborn, bitter little kid trapped in a shitty cycle of pain. both ashton and laudna this episode felt like they were both broken, sad children interacting. laudna clinging to comfort from delilah, hiding away, mentally reverting to the person she was the last time she was in whitestone. ashton, clinging to his lost childhood and the acceptance of laudna's doll, the admittance that they'd never had a doll before. god... they're so sad, im gonna scream.

fcg apologizing for forcing faith down ashtons throat was sweet and so was ashton apologizing for being so bitter abt fcg's faith. now i just need fcg to apologize for the multiple instances where he put laudna in danger by casting turn undead with no acknowledgement of laudna afterwards.

fcg saying that ashton didn't love anyone or care about anyone hurt me a bit, because while i understood why they were saying those things, it was so... obviously untrue. before all of this, ashton has shown again and again and again how much he loves bells hells, and especially fcg. i know that ashton almost dying over smth so arrogant, desperate and foolish would make anyone question what someone's idea of "love" is, but still. it stung. maybe because i have been there. i know what it's like to be doubted and mistrusted because you ruined smth good callously and carelessly.

chetney... chetney really loves fearne. i don't care if y'all don't get it or if y'all still think chet is some joke character with no substance, I never understood that shit and i simply never will. chet and fearne probably have the best relationship in all of bells' hells -- and yes, that includes imogen and laudna because god knows those two have shit brewing under the surface that needs to be HANDLED, i.e: laudna being defeatist abt their relationship even tho it's barely begun.

chetney's a good man. him going after fearne was the best choice and im glad he gave her a couple laughs before she went off to wander. he cares about her so much, and he BELIEVES in her so much, and i love them. i LOVED the way he went in on ashton. hurting fearne by making a shitty decision and letting her bear the burden of watching ashton die right in front of her was... bad. it is very complicated but, that's pretty cut and dry.

i like him testing ashton again and again. telling him to leave but also being glad they chose to be brave and stay, and face the consequences of their actions. attacking ashton to see what all of any of that shit was even for. (im a little bummed that the shard didn't fully wake up yet but...i love the suspense im just impatient).

FEARNE. CALLOWAY. i love fearne, and i love the breakdown during the first part of the episode. it was such a raw moment and it established the tone of the episode so quickly. im glad that fearne knows that while ashton fucked up royally, her rejecting of the shard and complacence in ashton's plans was also royally stupid. i don't think her being terrified of taking the shard is bad or stupid, it's actually one of my favorite fearne character choices. no one ever actually asked her WHY she didn't want it, and when she said she didn't want it, it was still decided by the hells that the shard would go to fearne. (they're very shit at communication, poor babies). im happy that she specifically clarified that ashton did not threaten or manipulate her (plus he gave her many opportunities to not be involved with his bullshit if it made her uncomfy so im hoping the insane critters who keep treating ashton like some evil, predatory person finally stfu).

fearne being so scared of a version of herself that was sad, lonely, and "evil" to the point that she chose to believe that it was ashton's destiny to take in both shards is so... so rich. i hope she talks about that more in the next episode because i don't think she's EVER brought it up since exu. i don't think the shard would change fearne's personality but god the fact that SHE is so afraid of herself and what she's capable of.... AHHHH. love this damn party.

i hope liam knows that expect really painful roleplaying from him when he comes back cause i really do need ashton and orym interactions like i need air.

the choice to go to the fey realm was brilliant and i missed nana morri so it's a win for me. bells hells COULD have done what they've been doing for a while now, which is ignoring the pain they're all feeling and pushing forward, but ashton doing what they did was the straw that broke the camel's back and im GLAD because i have been begging them all to have real conversations with each other that don't get cut short prematurely for whatever reason.

i do hope that they do really lean into the self care aspect involving therapy and talking through their issues with ALL of the members present or even in groups, and it isn't just fun and games. they're prone to distraction. i love my little guys.

:( two weeks without bells hells. is it thursday, yet???

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explosionshark · 8 months

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Bri we’re rewatching Buffy 4x15 & 4x16 and realized

Joyce doesn’t live to see Faith get better

The last real time Faith has with Joyce is when she’s in Buffy’s body, and it’s where Joyce insists to Faith that she can’t imagine what happened to make Faith that way. She tells Faith that she doesn’t believe she’s happy. Faith literally hears Joyce say, to her face (well, Buffy’s face) that she hopes Faith gets the help she needs.

Faith literally goes thru all of 15 & 16 then rushes off to the Angel set & goes on a rampage trying to get Angel to kill her. She finally breaks & then has to see Buffy too. Spends all these years in prison. Has to break out to safe Angel. Finally after all those years gets back to Sunnydale. Ends up at Joyce’s house.

Except it NOT Joyce’s house now, it’s Buffy’s house. Joyce is gone and omg the last thing she sees of Faith is her literally at her worst. She never gets to apologize. I’m blowing myself up BRI!

JOYCE TELLS HER TO HER FACE THAT SHE THINKS SHE NEEDS HELP AND DOESNT THINK FAITH LIKES BEING THE WAY SHE IS! FAITH GETS TO SEE THAT SOMEONE GENUINELY DOES NOT HATE HER OR SEE HER AS EVIL OR BAD! EVEN AFTER SHE HELD HER HOSTAGE! AND SHE NEVER GETS TO APOLOGIZE OR MAKE AMENDS OR DO BETTER BY JOYCE. IM SO UPSET

yeah dude......

Look, Faith's relationship with Joyce is a parallel of her relationship to Buffy, in a lot of ways. Joyce represents the life Buffy has that Faith wishes was hers. Their first meeting is that dinner at Buffy's house, it's Joyce sitting across from her and asking about her life, being visibly delighted by her answers. It's Joyce feeding her. The moment Joyce leaves the table, Faith turns to Buffy. "She's really cool, huh?"

It's only like a scene or two later that we get one of Faith's first and only comments about her family. "My dead mother hits harder than that!" after she's hit in the face by a vampire. Oof.

The nice house, the watcher, the mom that cares, the friends - all these things Buffy has, that Faith covets. All things that Faith eventually resents her for.

There's something unhinged and sad and desperate in the way Faith tries to appeal to Joyce, when she's holding her hostage in This Year's Girl. I mean, it's absurd and that typical Faith mixture of hilarious and pathetic, but pleading with Joyce, trying to earn her validation again - "Buffy dumped us." Maybe that scene would have been different, if Joyce agreed, if Faith could have been convinced they were both victims of a similar heartbreak. Probably not. But maybe.

And like you said, what comes after - Joyce's sympathy, her worry, defending Faith after being bound and threatened by her. It throws Faith so badly. It gets in her head.

By season 7, Faith has cultivated a lot of self-awareness and a lot of self restraint. Buffy's life, and Joyce in particular, has always been a sore spot between Buffy and Faith. She would know better than to make this about her.

But it would have to sting, being in that house with an apology in her throat for a woman who's never going to hear it.

#replies #stagrunner #faith lehane #sorry it took me ages to answer stag i was. D-prest

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marvelwifesupernaturalmistress · 3 months

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So I just finished Good Omens recently and I have a couple things to say and my family and friends are so done with my rants about different movies and TV shows.

1: Holy shit that was a good show! I honestly didn't expect much from the show but holy shit it blew me away with how good it was. It was comedic and I found myself laughing so much and it was so beautifully written the characters are just top tier amazing and wow what I'd give to just continuously rewatch it as if it's my first time watching it.

2: I watched supernatural and I thought wow never gonna find another show like this. One that brings me joy and sadness then I found this fucking wonderful amazing show! AND it made me even more sad like what the fuck how do I keep coming across shows that cause me so much fucking pain. Also can we talk about the parallels between the two shows. Oh look two characters working together to stop the end of the world one a demon and one's an angel, counting Dean a demon solely for this post plus demon Dean did exist, both are oh so obviously in love with each other but neither will admit it, most of the angels are dicks and we all hate metatron, there's a demon named Crowley and many more. I mean look at the similarities between Dean and Crowley. Both are in love with their angel best friend, both are absolutely in love with their car, love classic rock, both are some sassy bitches, both don't want to show their emotions but are big softies, and are both the better looking person in the couple (in my opinion). Then look at the similarities between Aziraphale and Crowley. Both are angels in trench coats who are in love with their best friend, they are manipulated, complicated, traumatized, beautiful angels, both have trouble understanding (some) human expressions, and both struggle with their loyalty to heaven. Also, is it just me or does the first like 10 seconds of End Titles- the one that got left in the car from Good Omens kinda sound like it could be a beginning to a Supernatural opening credits or is it just me?

3: My God David Tennant is FINE like I've seen his face sometimes haven't really seen him in much and was like ok yeah he's attractive and moved on. But then I saw him in this and I'm like wow now I get what everyone's talking about. Like just ahhh this man is fucking attractive! I'm honestly ashamed of myself for taking so long to realize.

4: So TikTok in all its wonderfulness blessed/cursed me with a bunch of Good Omens content the day after I finished watching good Omens. Including a looooooooot of people cosplaying as Crowley. And may I just say the people who cosplay him are fine as fuck! I mean it's really hard to dress up as Crowley and not look attractive I mean Crowley is a style icon. But holy shit the people are so fucking good looking like I just can't. My sexuality does a nose dive off the empire state building when looking at them. I was talking to a friend about it and she said it's a case of wanting to be with them or be them and I disagree. I want to be with them all. Just holy shit you want to look good dress like Crowley you'll look fantastic.

5: The effect this show has had on my life is insane. I have been obsessed with listening to Queen since I finished the show. Which I'm not complaining about at all they were my favorite and still are my favorite band before I even watched the show. I have barely listened to something that wasn't Queen or songs from the show since I binge watched the show. I'm listening to another one bites the dust while typing this. Once again not complaining. Also, did anyone else want to dye their hair like Crowley's when they finished the show? Cause I do. I have been blonde my whole life and never wanted to change it and now I want it red. And I need to know if I'm alone in this or not to determine how alarmed I should be.

6: They had no right making the relationship of Crowley and Aziraphale they way they did. First they made them friends who obviously were in love with each other but hid it then they give us them acting basically as a married couple being so fucking adorable and me just wanting the type of love they have for them to give us that ending of season two! I'm not gonna lie if my dad wasn't up and calmed me down I either would've spontaneously combusted from my literally shaking anger or went on a spree. Not sure what type of spree but a spree of some kind.

7: How all of you wonderful people didn't riot or harm Neil Gaiman is beyond me. First when season 1 ended y'all had to wait 2 years to even get a green light that there was gonna be a season 2 and then another 2 for it to finally come out. And then for the season final of season 2 to happen where then you had to wait even longer for season 3 to be greenlight is just you all have a greater will power than me. I'm coming into this with two seasons and a third confirmed so a round of applause to y'all. And now I completely understand why I kept hearing people say they hated Neil Gaiman and stuff like that.

And finally on a somewhat unrelated note I'm planning to watch Doctor who since I'm about to finish another show where can I find it and what order do I watch it in? I've heard many different answers on the order.

Thanks everyone for coming to my rant y'all are wonderful and everyone have a wonderful day!<3

#good omens #david tennant #dean winchester #castiel #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #doctor who #queen #neil gaiman #supernatural #michael sheen

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anatrik · 11 days

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First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

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