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rubysunnday · 3 years

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artemis and apollo

Requested by Anon - Hello! I love your bridgerton sister fics! I totally get if your too busy with requests but I would love a fic where the sister is put in some kind of danger (a guy is harassing her or something) and her big brothers save the day

A/N: this isn’t a part of my 1.5K celebration but I’ll shove it in with them. I throughly enjoyed writing this.

It was terrifying.

Eloise was with her - and complaining about it every other second - but that didn’t change just how terrifying it was.

Everyone was looking at her.

Which, considering she was a Bridgerton and was, apparently, the ‘Diamond’ of that season, was understandable.

It was still terrifying.

“They’re not going to eat you, Y/N,” Colin whispered, a cheeky smile on his face as he leant closer to his sister.

“They might,” Y/N replied, shifting fractionally closer to Colin. She felt safer with her brother’s around (mainly because they intimidated any man who came within five feet of her). “Men could be predators. In fact, I think they are.”

Colin chuckled and grabbed her hand. “Stop panicking. I won’t leave your side, ok?”

“Unless Mother makes you,” Y/N replied, ever the pessimist. “I just... I don’t trust people I’ve never met. Especially men I’ve never met before. It’s a woman thing,” she added, noticing Colin’s slightly blank look. “I trust you and Anthony and Benedict to look out for me but once I’m engaged in a dance with a man, there’s no escape.”

Colin nodded. “Message received - do not leave you alone with strange men and do not let you dance with strangers.”

Y/N elbowed her brother in the stomach and he let out a grunt that turned a few heads. Colin coughed but straightened his waistcoat and cleared his throat.

“I think that was slightly unnecessary,” he muttered.

“I disagree,” Y/N replied haughtily. “I think it was entirely deserved.”

Y/N let out a soft sigh and tried not to let her disappointment at being forced to attend the ball obvious.

“Oh, hello,” Colin whispered into her ear. “Prince Nikolai is coming this way.”

Y/N perked up. Prince Nikolai was a distant nephew of Queen Charlotte and, perhaps, one of the sweetest men she’d ever met. Whilst Y/N and Nikolai had reached an understanding that neither one wanted to marry the other, they were still good friends and often danced with one another at balls to pass the time.

“Miss Bridgerton, Mr Bridgerton,” Nikolai greeted.

Y/N curtsied. “Your Royal Highness,” she said, standing up. “How are you tonight?”

“I’m very well, thank you Miss Bridgerton.” Nikolai looked at Colin. “I was wondering if you I could do you the honour of being your first dance tonight?”

Y/N smiled and nodded. “Of course, Your Royal Highness.”

Y/N took her arm out of Colin’s and accepted Nikolai’s. She gave her brother a brief, fleeting look as she headed for the dance floor and Colin gave her a reassuring smile in return.

“I do hope you don’t think me to forward, Miss Bridgerton, but I’ve heard some rumours regarding the Earl of Suffolk.”

Y/N closed her eyes momentarily. “Oh, yes. Him.”

The Earl of Suffolk was a presumptuous, prick of a man. He thought himself better than everyone else and assumed he could have whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Y/N, being the diamond of the season, had attracted the Earl’s attention. He’d put himself forward as a potential suitor and had even proposed and whilst a more naive girl than Y/N would be attracted to his title and money, Y/N suspected something wasn’t quite right with the Earl.

All it took was Anthony and her mother to ask around before discovering that the Earl’s ex-wife had died under mysterious circumstances two years previously. They'd only been married a year and it was rumour that his wife was barren.

Anthony had immediately put his foot down and refused the Earl’s proposal. Y/N had been grateful for her big brother but with the Earl still lurking around - and apparently very angry at the Bridgerton's - Y/N dreaded running into him.

“Did I speak out of turn?” Nikolai asked, looking at her in concern as they slowly danced around the room.

“No, no,” Y/N said, shaking her head. “My brother, Anthony, took control of the situation but something tells me that the Earl isn’t going to give up so easily.”

“If there’s anything I can do to assist you, please let me know,” Nikolai said, flashing a smile at her.

The song ended and Y/N smiled at him. He escorted her off the floor but was immediately overwhelmed by the debutantes and their mothers.

The mention of the Earl of Suffolk had put Y/N back on edge. She kept to the side of the room as she tried to make her way to her brothers, keeping her head down and hiding amongst the numerous guests.

She spotted Benedict in the corner with Eloise and turned to go in his direction when she spotted the Earl obviously looking for a Bridgerton. He spotted Benedict and began marching over to him with a furious expression on his face. Not wanting to be caught up in the argument that was sure to follow, Y/N turned on her heel and headed outside onto the terrace.

Outside was significantly cooler than inside. The sun had only just set and the moon was lighting up the terrace in a cool glow. Dotted around the terrace were numerous fire pits that lit up the gardens and provide enough light for an unchaperoned walk around. There were also a few footmen and servants outside including a lone violinist who was playing a soft tune.

Taking a chance - and assuming she would be watched by the few people and servants outside - Y/N descended the stairs to the garden and walked around it.

It didn’t have tall, sprawling hedges, merely short ones dotted with flowers or bunches of holly. There was a beautiful statue of Artemis set in the middle of the rose garden and Y/N found herself staring up at it in admiration.

Y/N and Colin were both big fans of the Greek mythology. Colin, being a man, got to study it in detail at university and upon his arrival home had imparted everything he knew on to his younger sister.

The two had spent hours together reading numerous stories and staring at paintings of the gods and goddesses.

Y/N had found herself relating to Artemis. The goddess of wild animals, the hunt, chastity and childbirth, Artemis had become a symbol of protection to Y/N and she’d tried to model herself on the myth.

“Miss Bridgerton, there you are.”

Y/N froze. She closed her eyes and forced herself to turn around and look at the Earl of Suffolk.

“My Lord,” she said, forcing herself to curtsey to the man. “What can I do for you?”

“I wondered if we might have a word?” The Earl said, stepping closer. “It’s just... your brother -”

“The matter is settled, Your Lordship,” Y/N said, stepping back. “My brother made my wishes, and his, very clear to you.”

The Earl tilted his head. “Do you think yourself... better than me?”

Y/N sighed softly, not wanting to take the bait and incite the man. “I think I should head back to the ball.”

She tried to walk past him but he snatched her wrist and pulled her to a sharp halt.

“Let go of me!” Y/N exclaimed, trying to pull away.

“You will marry me, Miss Bridgerton,” the Earl snarled, pulling her closer. “Because you will have no other choice.”

Y/N felt herself panicking. Panicking so much she wasn’t sure what to do. She tried to wriggle out from his grasp but his grip was tight and painful.

The Earl held her tight against him and Y/N did the only thing she could think of.

She kicked him in-between the legs.

The Earl grunted and immediately let go of her as he fell to his knees.

“Y/N!”

Y/N turned around saw her three brothers running towards her from across the garden. She quickly made distance between herself and the Earl and all but flung herself into Anthony’s arms as he reached her side.

“Are you alright?” He asked, looking her in the eye.

Y/N nodded even though her entire body was shaking. “Yes, I am now.”

Anthony nodded and gave her a quick squeeze. He handed her over to Colin as he and Benedict approached the Earl with matching steel cold looks on their faces.

“Are you sure you are alright?” Colin asked, tilting her head up to check she wasn’t injured.

“I’m fine, Colin,” Y/N promised, resting her head on his chest. “A little shaken but still in one piece. He didn’t get far enough to do anything,” she added.

Colin hugged her to him tightly and kissed her head. Y/N turned her head slightly and glanced behind her at the statue of Artemis.

The sound of a fist hitting someone’s face turned her attention back to the Earl and she tried not to look too pleased at the beating his face had taken from her two brothers.

“Come on,” Anthony said, shrugging his coat off and wrapping it around Y/N’s shoulders. “Let’s go home.”

Y/N reached over and grabbed Benedict’s hand as Anthony guided her across the garden and towards the side gate. Her three bodyguards protected her from anyone who was watching and soon they were walking down the front stairs to their carriage.

Benedict helped Y/N in and then sat on her right, Colin on her left. Y/N, who usually nagged her brothers about personal space and forced them to sit opposite her, said nothing. She shifted down in the seat and dropped her head on to Benedict’s shoulder, pulling Anthony’s coat tighter around her shoulders.

Anthony climbed in and sat opposite them with unhidden fury on his face. He glanced at his sister and it all disappeared, replaced by a soft and concerned expression.

Y/N smiled at him and nodded once. She reached out her foot and bumped his leg with her toe, reassuring him a bit more.

Benedict moved fractionally closer to Y/N and she felt herself feeling ever so thankful for her brothers.

Just like Artemis had Apollo, Y/N had Anthony, Benedict and Colin to protect her until her dying day.

#bridgerton #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton imagines #bridgerton sister #bridgerton!sister #bridgerton!sis #sister!reader #platonic imagine

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bakujho · 4 years

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A rant about some shady eels...

Let’s talk about Floyd and Jade… like really talk about them. I see a lot of things that paint them in a very different light than they’re presented in canon and I’m not sure if their character is just being missed all together, or it’s been collectively decided by the fandom that they’re too shady so lets all pretend they’re cute, kind, and cuddly… or something.

Cause reading and rereading the cards really drives home the disconnect between the majority of fandom eels vs canon eels and it drives me fucking nuts. So where do I start with this? I guess we can start at the ‘please actually read the stories that have the eels in them’. Pretty low bar, but here we are. Read the main story. Then the event stories. Then every card story they’re present in. Twstarchives has a list of who appears in what story and that makes it REAL easy. If y’all have read the stories and still wanna disagree with what I’ve got to say, I’m happy to discuss. Also, If you’re cool with OOC eels, feel free to continue on and enjoy the content how you will.

I think imma have to start with Jade cause I see SO much of him being the perfect butler and gentleman, which of course he is, but it’s always missing the underlying cunning. Jade isn’t a docile little slave following orders because he enjoys it. He likes people watching, and doesn’t like when people pay attention to him. How better to go about unnoticed than to stand beside someone like Floyd or Azul who draw attention to themselves simply by existing? He’s almost always planning *something* it’s just not always clear what, and has made it clear that people are easier to manipulate if they trust you.

Jade likes chaos just as much as Floyd does, he’s just better at maintaining his composure about it, which makes him a better architect for it. The poise and grace is an act in order to completely charm and manipulate. That’s why him and Floyd are a team, they’re like the good cop bad cop, both out to get you, but have very different parts to play. His voice lines make it really obvious that he’s got a running interest in causing problems too, “...I would never say that. Yes, ‘I’ wouldn’t”, “Whenever I see someone heavily concentrating on something, I get the urge to start talking to them...”, “...I simply enjoy anything that entertains me” etc etc Him and Floyd both enjoy playing with people, and watching them struggle.

Let’s talk some Jade facts:

Observant as fuck

Manages to pull one over on Vil, who KNOWS Jade is up to something, but still isn’t able to figure out what.

Tells off Floyd for threatening the students too early...and reminds him that they’re much easier to manipulate if they trust you first.

Has dirt on LITERALLY every student in the school

Has ZERO problems exploiting Floyd for Azul to fulfil his contract (contrary to the ‘they are inseparable and never fight’ line of thought)

Blackmail is an eels best friend.

Happily dishes out backhanded compliments

Utterly willing (and probably very ready) to completely destroy someone if he felt the need to.

Now, Floyd is a bit harder to get a read on because his moods flip so easily, but I always feel like he’s portrayed as too childish, too stupid, and too passive. One of our first introductions to Floyd in his SSR is him telling Jade threatening people with words takes too long and it’s SO MUCH EASIER TO JUST BREAK THEIR BONES. Gentle reminder, that literally every single instance Floyd has said he’s going to squeeze someone it has been a THREAT. It’s been shown MULTIPLE times that the other students are terrified of getting on his bad side, he picks fights with people constantly, and he literally harasses people for fun . Floyd is “the muscle” of Octavinelle, and doesn’t bother with all the planning and scheming like Jade, he’s much quicker to violence and clearly loves the thrill of the chase. He’s going to have fun, and it’s very likely at your expense.

Floyd says on multiple occasions that he does whatever he thinks is fun, and no one can control his moods. Azul and Jade both get annoyed when he starts being a brat, but still can’t control him to do anything that he doesn’t want to do when he’s in said mood. He’s shown multiple times to simply do what he thinks is fun, fuck everyone else and what they’re trying to do. Who cares if basketball club doesn’t mean dodgeball club, he wants to play dodgeball, so get out of the way or you’re getting hit with a ball. The end. There’s no controlling what he does, and he’s not likely to sit and play nice with anyone for hours on end because that’s BORING. All he does he does because it’s fun, and the second he gets bored of something he’s off to do the next thing. He doesn’t like following orders and has been shown getting hostile after being told what to do by “humans”, and doesn’t even follow directions in classes because it’s boring. I can literally not stress enough that Floyd does what Floyd wants, fuck everyone else.

So here’s some quick floyd facts:

will do what he wants, every single time.If it’s boring, he’s done with it.

is brilliant… if he feels like putting in the work

can be kind...if he’s in the right mood

enjoys playing with people and watching them struggle

doles out threats like they’re candy

has said Azul looks delicious in Octopus form twice (reminder both him and Jades favourite food is octopus)

Okay, so we’ve determined that both the twins like to play with people in their own ways, but what about their relationship with each other and Azul? They’re obviously very close, but not without issues. Floyds mood swings still frustrate Jade and Jade’s compliments often come off as antagonistic to Floyd to the point he picks fights with him. It says that they chose to live together, and are both glad of it cause they each keep things interesting...Which is where their relationship with Azul comes in. They say they knew OF him as children, but didn’t really take an interest in him until middle school and decided to stick with him because he was interesting. Floyd says a lot of things to do with the Coral Sea is boring, so I suspect an ambitious octopus was intriguing enough for the both of them to force their friendship on him.

...That being said, Jade doesn’t 100% trust Azul. He says he’d never be willing to give him his unique magic for any reason, cause Azul could make up any excuse to get his hands on it (Floyd of course, is much more casual with his magic and has said he could live without it so doesn’t care as much). The twins mention that they continue to stick around with him because he’s entertaining, and the second he’s no longer interesting they’ll challenge him/drop him, whichever is more beneficial to them at the time. So while the three of them seem inseparable, it really is the duo+Azul on the side, and while I personally can’t see them dropping him anytime soon, the threat is still there. (Of course, all of this could be taken as jest as well, so this is just my interpretation here)

To tie it up, I’ll leave you with the voice lines from their duo magic, in case you still thought they weren’t shady murder eels.

Floyd: “Ahahaha! We’re gonna do ‘em in, Jade~!”

Jade: “As long as you’re having fun, Floyd.”

And

Jade: May I ask that you entrust me with this today, Floyd?

Floyd: ‘Kay~ Jade. What’re you going to do~?

#twisted wonderland #twst #discourse?#octavinelle #jade leech #floyd leech #fandom out here leaving out literally half their character in stuff

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amjustagirl · 3 years

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You’ve said a few times that you really feel for oikawa and iwa in Astrophile but DUDE I just cannot feel bad for them 😭 not only with the way oikawa acted in all that, but like they really had their whole lives to figure out their feelings for each other and they waited until the week before reader’s wedding to do it?? waited until some poor girl got dragged into it smh. and also oikawa inviting himself over to reader’s sister’s apartment where she was hiding, because obviously she didn’t want to see him again, even if it was to apologize like….bro send a text she doesn’t want to see you lmao. And then with how they were acting about the wedding invitations in Broken Compass like harassing this poor girl, bro WHO would want to go to the wedding of your ex and the man he emotionally cheated on you with ugh. but anyway it really is one of my favorite haikyuu fics, it like permanently altered the way I see iwa, I think about it all the time 😭

okok so for starters (in case anyone doesn't know what im referring to), the fic being referred to here is Astrophile and it's q angsty ok. and before i get down to my response - ahhh anon ty for dropping by to give me your thoughts on my fics. i'm always humbled and grateful whenever anyone even bothers spending their time and thought on my fic babies and to analyse it??? <3

now, first off let me defend my darling iwa just a teensy, tiny bit. to be fair to him, he really never emotionally cheated on the reader because the night oikawa confessed his feelings to him, my headcanon is that iwa definitely turned him down and told him that it really isn't the time and place for them to work anything out (one week before his wedding to the poor reader!!), hence why oikawa got injured cos he was drunk and flailing about. also to his credit, iwa did intend on going ahead with the wedding to the reader and it was the reader who decided against it (i mean, girl, duh). plus in broken compass, i think oikawa kinda got into his ear abt making sure the reader's okay cos she went completely radio silence when previously, they were fine when they bump into each other at matches and i think iwa being the protective, caring iwa that we all know just wanted to make sure the reader was okay - he did love her v much too, after all. so okay, i personally don't think iwa is the bad guy in this, but i love hearing your interpretation anw.

oikawa - i must admit, i never intended on making him the villain of the story because i don't actually write villains, not really (except maybe in dream catcher HAHA) and i just see him as a flawed character who's always grasping for what his heart desires - professional success, and it's easy to translate that to his approach towards romance as well. but he also suffers a lot of guilt methinks, especially because iwa truly does love the reader so so much that it clouds his logic and as much as i feel for the reader, i also emphatize deeply with him. of course he shouldn't have harassed the reader with his stupid wedding invites and of course he shouldn't have even tracked her down to apologise but...sometimes we do stupid things, and in his case, i'm more forgiving because it's done not out of malice, but guilt.

still though. again, i'm so, so humbled that you've thought this much about my interpretation of the characters that i cld scream and pls don't take me disagreeing somewhat w you as a condemnation - i guess as a former lit student, ive never believed that the writer's intention is king, and it's really up to the individual reader to form their own interpretation of the story so!!! all this to say - thank you again for sharing your thoughts and words with me, i treasure them so very, very much :)

#Nikki chats!#Astrophile

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dontmeanlove · 5 years

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not a competition

Pairing: peter parker x female!reader

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: a little cussing, nothing major.

Plot: You’re not competing with Peter Parker, that’s just ridiculous and you were not doing it. No matter what MJ said. You were frenemies with Peter Parker and best friends with spotspidey on instagram. You had no idea what it would mean.

Prompt: Enemies IRL and best friends online

You weren’t competing with Peter Parker. It was a ridiculous concept, you refused to acknowledge that. But if, and only if, you were competing with him, you were winning anyway.

There was this ongoing thing between you two where you weren’t really enemies, you didn’t even talk if you were honest, but the two of you were always trying to one-up the other.

You didn’t know when it all started, but now you announced your grades nonchalantly loud whenever Peter was around and when he was the one with a better grade you rolled your eyes and scoffed. It didn’t matter that you smirked at him, raising an eyebrow whenever you were the one with the better grade.

It was ridiculous really, that’s why you weren’t competing with him. Nope. Nopety no. It was too lame to admit.

“I can’t believe you’re still doing it,” MJ sounded bored. She had her eyebrow raised when you said you got an A- in physics. You refused to blush.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tried to sound nonchalant but your voice failed you, you face with a slight blush.

You heard Peter tell Ned he got an A+. You squinted your eyes and pouted.

“C’ mon,” MJ nudged you, “Tell him he’s cute, ask him out or something, this weird dance you’re doing is nauseating.”

“Hey,” You protested. “I don’t like him,” your mumble not really convincing. “He is irritating and smart and dorky.”

“Oh,” MJ chuckled. “You’re in way deeper than I thought.”

“I’m not,” You frowned, you barely stopped yourself from stomping your foot because you’d never hear the end of it.

Your phone chimed, you smiled down at the notification. You opened Instagram and tried to contain a smile.

(yourighandle): spotspidey: school is sucking the life outta me

(yourighandle): spotspidey: I think today took like 5 years out of my life span

You chuckled. He was always dramatic. It was a bit funny how you could feel so strongly about a person you didn’t even know. Sometimes you wondered if you were being catfished, like it was a good possibility but, at the same time, you didn’t really care?

yourighandle: ever so dramatic,,, it’s not that bad.

yourighandle: my day was off to a bad start, I got an A-

spotspidey: who’s dramatic now?

yourighandle: you

spotspidey: no :( meany

yourighandle: aw bby you gonna get over it

You smiled down your phone and ran a hand through your hair. The bell rang way too soon and you sighed.

“I always forget about your ig boyfriend,” MJ looked amused.

“That again? Girl, you seriously need new stuff to talk about.”

“What can I do if you’re into two hopeless boys?!”

“I’m not into either of them.”

“Yeah, right.” MJ wasn’t convinced at all. “Let’s go to class, loser.”

You groaned but followed her through the school to your lockers, they were side by side.

“Where’s that loser penis parker?” You heard Flash say with a tone to his voice that made you frown. “You think I can make him cry today?”

You felt pure rage bubble inside you, you turned to where he was standing and smiled sweetly at him. He smiled back at you, looking surprised. You walked to him and put your hands on his shoulders.

“Oh Flash,” You kept your voice sweet and a smile on your face before you knee him in the balls. “Think again before being such an asshole.”

You cleaned your throat, went back to your locker with a victorious smile on your face, got your things and headed to class. He was on the floor cupping his crotch.

“Oh my god,” MJ was laughing by your side. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Me too,” You laughed along with her. “I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Chill, nobody’s gonna tell on you, everybody knows that Flash is a jerk.”

You shrugged, you didn’t know why you did that. But the thought of anyone messing with Peter Parker after all he went through was too much for you.

Of course, you two had that grades thing going on, but it was never mean or anything. It was like you needed that sense of normalcy that came with this competition (no, you never admitted it was a competition and you never would).

yourighandle: I just kneed a guy in the balls.

You sent to your ig friend as soon as your butt touched the classroom chair. He replied right away.

spotspidey: you go, girl,

spotspidey: what did he do if you don’t mind me asking

yourighandle: asshole bully honestly I don’t know how anyone did it before

spotspidey: that’s even better omg

yourighandle: I can’t help being so cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

spotspidey: lol won’t disagree

You smiled at that, Spotspidey was a dork. It was weird he didn’t say what his name was, so you also didn’t share any personal info. You weren’t dumb, stranger danger and all that, your mom taught you right, okay?

It was your side ig account, you only posted edits and artsy stuff. Never your face. Never anything personal, apart from your nickname.

You always commented on spotspidey’s pictures because they were awesome and his captions were always the best, so one day you sent him a message on the dm and it all started.

Nowadays talking to him every day was so part of your routine that when it didn’t happen you felt like an important piece of your day was missing.

You went through your day like a breeze after the encounter with Flash, most of the classes were easy, the homework that sucked.

You were walking out of the door after the long school day, you spotted Peter talking to Ned. As soon as you saw him, he saw you too. He jogged to catch up with you and smiled brightly when he reached you.

“So, I heard you defended my honor today?”

“You honor? Didn’t know you had that, Parker.” You teased him.

“I’m glad you’re still you.” He chuckled.

“He deserves that. Someone had to do something.”

“I’m buzzing that “something” to you means kneeing a guy on the balls and not like report his harassment to the school administration.”

“Oh, please,” You rolled your eyes. “They’d never do anything about it anyway.”

“So now you’re the friendly neighborhood bully avenger?” He was trying not to laugh at his own lame joke, oh god this boy was ridiculously cute.

“I like to think of myself as the unfriendly neighborhood bully avenger, please.”

Peter snorted and you let out a low chuckle, damn Parker.

“Spider-man has tough competition now,” He commented. You were walking together to the subway station. How the tables had turned.

You saw MJ passing by and raising an eyebrow with her lips pursed so as not to laugh, you sent her a glare that wasn’t convincing at all.

“He better watch out,” You said flipping your hair off your shoulder.

You two giggled and bumped shoulders. You were trying to hide a smile.

“Thank you,” Peter turned his head to look at you.

“Anytime,” You smiled at him.

“Good thing I can count on you to save me.”

“I wouldn't go that far, but I know a friend who knows a friend that can keep an eye on you, you princess in distress.”

Peter chuckled again, shaking his head as if he found the idea quite ridiculous.

“Yeah, I guess I won’t need that,” He ended up saying.

“Why do I feel I’m not getting the joke?”

“Because maybe you’re not,” Peter shrugged. You elbowed him.

“Hey,” You protested.

You ended up going home together and somehow you were now sharing your earphones with Peter as you jammed to Paramore. People who didn’t like Paramore couldn’t be trusted.

You arrived at home and as you slumped into the couch you shoot a message to spotspidey.

yourighandle: do u like Paramore

spotspidey: duh?!?!

yourighandle: good

yourighandle: our friendship was on the line dude

spotspidey: pfff as if my music taste wasn’t on point

yourighandle: tell me more about it

spotspidey: wow it’s like you’re asking me to strip

spotspidey: strip my soul right on this chat

You snorted out loud. Oh god, he was aDORKable. And by even thinking about this you were also in the dork section right beside him.

You sighed. What wouldn’t you give to know who he was so you could hang out. What if you had already seen him on the street or talked to him, or you two went to midtown. What if you two had classes together or went to the same Starbucks all the time?

The day went by just fine, it was starting to get dark out and you were hungry. Your parents were still at work, something had come up and you were going to get take out from the restaurant two blocks away.

You got your food and you felt weird. You snapped a pic for spotspidey and he replayed the story.

spotspidey: thanks for reminding me how hungry I am

yourighandle: anytime ;)

You started walking home from the restaurant and as you passed through an alley someone grabbed you and put a hand on your mouth.

You tried to scream and kick the guy but he was stronger than you. Maybe thirty seconds passed and suddenly Spider-man was in front of you.

“You should really let her go.” He said, his voice weirdly pissed off.

The guy was stunned and dropped his hands quickly. Spider-man put his hands on your shoulders and down your arms.

“You okay?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” You mumbled, eyes wide still in shock.

The guy started to run away but Spider-man shot a web at him and glued him to the wall.

You were trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself down. It was a fucking big scare and you just wanted to cry. You felt arms around you and stopped breathing for a second. Spider-man was hugging you.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” He whispered to you, holding you close.

“Okay, thank you.” You said shakily.

“Let’s get you home, shall we?” Spider-man said and you just nodded. He wrapped his arm around your waist and suddenly you were in the air, swinging with him.

“I live like a block away,” You said breathlessly.

“Cool, which house?”

“The brownstone apartment building, right there” You pointed at your home.

He took you to the top of the building and let you down.

“Are you really okay?” He sounded concerned.

“Yeah, nothing really bad happened,” You shrugged trying to convince yourself too. “Thank you,” You smiled shyly at him.

“Anytime,” He rubbed the back of his neck. You bit your lip thinking if you should do what you were about to do. You guessed there wasn’t a better time than now.

“Uh, it’s gonna sound really weird considering you basically just saved my life but like I have a friend who is a great fan of yours and like maybe, uh, could you take a pic with me?” You were blushing and speaking really fast. Spider-man chuckled and looked down.

“Of course, c’ mon.” He reached for you and pulled you close.

You got your phone out and snapped a couple of pictures, one you were smiling and the other you were pulling a silly face and Spider-man had a peace sign behind your head. You giggled while putting your phone back inside the pocket of your pants.

“Thank you again, he’ll be thrilled and also thank you for, you know, saving me.”

“Nah, it’s just my job.”

“The friendly neighborhood Spider-man,” You joked.

“I mean, yeah,” He sounded a bit embarrassed.

“Cool, I’m called the unfriendly neighborhood bully avenger.”

Spider-man let a laugh out like it was punched out of him.

“Cool, I mean, if I ever have a bully problem I know who to bring them to.”

“Count on me, Spidey,” You make finger guns and winks at him.

You both giggle and you point at the door. “I better get going, you know, I bet you still have people to save and stuff.”

“I guess my shift is over,” He shrugged.

“Even superheroes have to rest I guess.”

“And do homework,” Spidey said, looking startled right after like he said something wrong.

“Homework is the worst! So, good luck with that.”

You waved goodbye and headed to the door, having your back to the hero.

“Good night, Spidey. And thank you again,” You turned one last time, he was still watching you leave. He nodded his head and waved a little. You grinned at him and wondered how that was your life.

You got home and plated the food. Your heart was still beating fast, you tried to make sense of what happened tonight, shuddering when you thought about what could have happened. Thank God Spider-man showed up. You took a deep breath.

yourighandle: I guess I did your job tonight

spotspidey: how so ma’am?

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: holy shit

spotspidey: that’s your face

spotspidey: by Spider-man’s face

yourighandle: we’re bros

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: I have no words rn

spotspidey: you’re distracting me with your cute face I’m trying to do homework

yourighandle: your face is cute

yourighandle: oh wait I guess that’s not an insult

yourighandle: you're distracting yourself

yourighandle: get down to business

spotspidey: to defeat the Huns?

yourighandle: really?

yourighandle: you gonna hit me w Disney songs and expect me not to distract you?

yourighandle sent a video reply.

Now that spotspidey had seen your face you didn’t have much to hide. Even if he didn’t feel comfortable showing you himself, it was nice to have this new layer to your relationship.

You sent him a video blasting ‘make a man out of you’ and couldn’t care less.

spotspidey: this video will be forever kept in my heart

yourighandle: I am all in your heart already silly

spotspidey: like a murmur?

yourighandle: like a heart attack

spotspidey: that’s mean

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: you’re killing me

yourighandle: maybe that’s the goal

yourighandle: you’ll never know my true plan

spotspidey: I guess I’ll have to call a guy

yourighandle: hope it’s not my bud spidey, he’ll fight for my honor

spotspidey: I’m not questioning that at all

yourighandle: lol go do your homework loser

spotspidey: responsible loser at least

yourighandle: true that

You laid on your bed that night thinking about the three boys you talked to today. Peter was funny and dorky, much nicer than you’d ever expect. Spider-man was caring and so nice, too. And spotspidey was awesome, funny, a complete nerd but in the best way possible. You sighed, what a weird day.

The next day at school was ordinary, for the most part at least. Peter waved at you and smiled brightly, MJ elbowed you because of that and you were sure you’d never hear the end of it.

“Guess you talked to your boyfriend irl.”

“I can’t believe you just said ‘irl’, you’re a basic girl now, MJ.”

She gasped pretending to be offended, at least you hoped she was pretending. She had a too good poker face.

“You get the basic white boyfriend and I am the basic girl?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You pouted, your voice way too close to a whine for your liking.

MJ snorted and gave you a pointed look, one you definitely decided to ignore. You headed to class and it was just as boring as usual until AP biology. It was one of the classes you shared with Peter.

The teacher assigned a project to be done in pairs and chose said pairs. You were developing a project with Peter Parker.

“Hey, partner,” Peter said with a smile on his face, way too coy to fit him.

“Hey, pal.”

“So, project…” He touched the back of his head.

“My house or yours?” You tilted your head to the side.

“Uh,” He seemed to think. “Let’s go to mine.”

“Okay,” You smiled up at him. “Meet me at my locker?”

“Sure thing,” Peter was at the door to leave for his next class. “See you later alligator.”

You laughed, “See you, loser.”

“Hey, not nice.”

“Never claimed I was,” You shrugged, the smile still on your face, it was getting harder and harder to be serious whenever the boy was around.

Peter shook his head and chuckled looking down, when he looked up at you with a bright smile on his face and eyes sparkling you sucked in a breath and bit your lip, forgetting how to breathe for a second.

He left and you finished packing your bag, also leaving for your next class. At least you shared it with MJ.

It was not good that you had this class with MJ, she was teasing mercilessly about Peter and spotspidey.

“God, your ig boyfriend is being cheated on.” MJ had a frown on her face. “I never thought you’d do that, totally surprised and disappointed.”

“What are you even talking about?” You chuckled.

“You and Peter making heart eyes at each other and you misleading your internet boyfriend, duh.”

“Uh, no to both of these statements,” You tilted your head.

MJ chuckled and revolved her focus to the assignment the teacher had asked. Or so you thought. She lifted her notebook and there was a drawing of you and Peter with your chins leaning on your hands and big silly hearts over your eyes.

You laughed and pushed MJ’s shoulders, “C’mon, MJ, lay off, let me live.”

“I appreciate how you didn’t deny anything.”

“I’m not leading Spotspidey on,” You frowned. “We’re friends, that’s all.”

MJ nodded but pointed at the drawing one more time.

“And about Peter, I’m not even gonna dignify you with an answer.” MJ hummed and smirked, you kept looking at each other until both of you cracked and started laughing out loud, the teacher shushing you and giving you a stern look.

“Sorry,” You said and went back to your assignment.

The class was over and with that, you headed back to your locker to leave. Peter was already waiting for you leaning on the lockers by yours. Damn, he was cute. Who were you trying to kid?

He silently waited for you to get your things ready, looking down at his phone at one point and typing fast.

“Let’s go?”

“Sure,” He pocketed his phone and started walking by your side.

“How do you feel about a sub at Delmar’s?” Peter said looking at you.

“Fine by me.”

They headed to the snack bar and got two sandwiches to go, going to Peter’s right after.

“How do you want to do this?” You asked as soon as you stepped foot on his house. Peter blushed, the tips of his ears getting red as well as his cheeks.

You chuckled. “Get your head out of the gutter, Parker.”

“Easier said than done,” He mumbled. You didn’t think you were supposed to have heard that.

You followed him to his room and sat on the bed, opening your backpack and taking the Biology book and your notebook out.

You started well, Peter doing some research on his laptop as you took some notes and included some things from the book, eating the sandwich between one information and the other. Peter started writing the essay with the information you were giving out, it was easy to work with him, he was crazy smart.

Your mind started wandering as you looked at his room. You hadn’t paid much attention when you first got in.

“Oh my god,” You gasped.

“What is it?” Peter sounded concerned, he was frowning.

“You have the millennium falcon lego set IN A BOX?” You were disappointed with him, seriously. “How dare you, Parker?!”

“Uh, sorry?”

“You should be! Let’s build it!”

You got up from the bed and touched his arm, sliding your hand until you reached his hand and pulled him up.

“But the project…” Peter tried to argue.

“Please,” You stretched the word and pouted. “I promise we’ll finish it later.”

That’s how you ended up spending three hours to build half the ship. You couldn’t remember when you had more fun, ‘God, I’m such a nerd.’ You thought to yourself as you laughed at one of Peter’s science puns.

You retrieved your phone to snap a pic to send to Spotspidey on ig, then took a picture with your thumbs up and Peter looking down in the background.

You sent it to him with a smiley face emoji and smiled to yourself before looking up and seeing Peter looking so cute you might cry.

He was holding the BB8 toy with a bright smile on his lips. “This is the cutest thing I have ever seen,” He said.

“Me too,” You must have had a look on your face that gave you away because you had Peter blushing softly.

“Now I have to take a picture of this moment,” You held your phone up and Peter put the little BB8 near his face and smiled big enough for his eyes to get tiny. Your heart warmed up with that picture and you promised yourself you would cherish it forever.

“This is the best picture I’ve ever seen,” You announce before chuckling softly.

You posted it on your story and not 5 minutes had passed before you received a message from Ned.

(yourighandle): leedstheway: the BETRAYAL this has

(yourighandle): leedstheway: I’m disowning Peter

(yourighandle): leedstheway: I’m calling the police on this crime

“I think Ned is upset,” You turned your phone to Peter for him to see the messages.

Peter laughed, “Excuse me,” He took the phone from your hands and took a picture of himself pouting.

You may or may not have melted right there. Maybe MJ has been right with all her annoying crush thing.

Thankfully you had Instagram save all your pictures, so you had Peter’s pout on your gallery. Small miracles and all that.

You two perked up when you heard the front down open and close.

“My aunt’s home.”

“Cool.”

You two continued building the ship until there was a knock on the door.

“Hey!” May said with a smile on her face.

“Hello,” You smiled back at her.

“I’m May, Peter’s aunt,” She waved.

“Oh, I’m (y/n), nice to meet you, May,” You waved back. “We’re working on a biology project.”

“I see…” May raised an eyebrow and you and Peter had the decency to blush. “Okay, kids, I’m ordering Chinese for dinner.”

“Maybe I should go,” You started getting up, your cheeks still red.

“Don’t be silly, have dinner with us.”

You looked at Peter not knowing what to do. “Stay,” He said. You nodded and sat back.

“I don’t think we’re finishing it today.” You pouted.

“Maybe you can come over tomorrow?” Peter touched the back of the neck, looking embarrassed.

“I’d love to,” You smiled shyly. You heard May calling you so you put the unfinished ship to the side. “We should also finish our essay?”

“Of course,” Peter has that sly smile on his face, “I still have to beat you for valedictorian.”

“Only in your dreams, Parker.”

You kept lightly pushing each other before you started laughing. May was looking at you with a knowing smile on her face, turning around when you both looked at her. You would figure it out yourselves.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence, making small comments about the food and how hungry they were.

“I’ll take you home, (Y/N).”

“I’ll be okay!” You brushed it off. “I live like five blocks away.”

“I insist,” Peter pressed.

“No, really, I’ll be just fine! I promise I’ll call you when I arrive home.”

Peter seemed neither confident nor happy about it, the look on his face making it clear, but he let you do as you wished anyway.

You were about one block away when Spider-man landed on your side. You jumped a foot away, startled.

“Waking by yourself at this time, miss?”

“You’re my mom now, Mr. Spider-man?”

“Nah, just your hero.”

“Good, will you take me home?” What? You wanted to swing through the air in Spider-man’s arms! Who could judge you for this selfish wish? Spider-man could, but he didn’t. He actually chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist and shot his web. You went flying through the air securely in Spider-man’s arms.

You two landed softly on the top of your building.

“All safe and sound, princess?”

“If you ever call me princess again I’m going to knee you in the balls.”

“You really have something for kneeing men in the balls,” He said, voice playful.

“It’s what they deserve,” You pause frowning. “How’d you know that?”

“haha, interesting question but now I gotta go, you know, save people and stuff.” And as sudden as he appeared he left. You frowned but got in your building, going down the stairs to your floor.

You called Peter to tell him you’re home safe and sound.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Uh, hey.”

“I’m home, just so you know.”

“Oh, okay, glad you’re safe,” He giggled nervously.

“uh, okay? See you tomorrow.”

“See you, good night.”

“Night,” You said before hanging up.

He was so odd, so not himself on the phone that it was weird. You check your ig for Spotspidey and he had just answered.

spotspidey: haha good fun u had today

yourighandle: yeah it was awesome

yourighandle: the millennium falcon is almost done!!!!

spotspidey: cool

You frowned, why was spotspidey so weird now? Why was everybody acting odd? Maybe it was just you.

The next day wasn’t much different. Peter was clearly ignoring you, on lunch break, you walked to him and he turned red and mumbled he had already finished the essay and Ned wanted to finish building the millennium falcon with him, dismissing you greatly.

You had no reaction but to nod stunned. You couldn’t believe Peter was treating you this way. He had never treated you like this, not even when you were low key enemies.

“Okay,” You whispered before walking away, feeling so utterly disappointed you didn’t really know how to act.

You tried to reach out to Spotspidey, to have some comfort but was left on read. Your eyes started filling up with water and you tried to take a shaky breath and stop yourself crying in the middle of the hall.

MJ saw you and came running. You let her wrap her arms around you and then you couldn’t stop yourself. You cried quietly in her arms. She must have pulled you to the side because now you were by the wall.

You looked up, bottom lip wobbling, “Try taking deep breaths, will you?” Her voice was soft and she ran a hand through your hair.

You did as she instructed and started to calm down.

“What happened?”

“Peter is acting really weird and my ig friend isn’t talking to me either and everything was just fine yesterday but now it’s all crumbling down.”

You felt tears threaten to come back, your voice sounding strangled. You didn’t know why it was affecting you so badly.

“What if it’s something I did? It’s my fault, I fuck everything up.”

“No,” MJ said sternly. “You don’t get to talk about my best friend like that.”

“MJ,” You whispered. “Thank you.”

“Boys are dumb, (Y/N),” She hugged you. “Don’t let them make you think less of yourself.”

She let you go and grabbed your hand. “Now let’s wash this face and get our shit together.”

You chuckled softly and followed her. She was the best best friend you could have ever asked for.

After washing your face and breathing deeply you headed to the rest of the classes for the day and wished for them to go quickly. You couldn’t wait to go home.

When you were leaving you bumped into someone, you looked up to apologize and it was Peter. You shot him a hurt look and mumble an apology, not giving him time to reply and left with your head down.

You decided you would try again with Spotspidey, maybe he was just busy.

yourighandle: hey dude (seen)

You waited for hours deliberately trying not to check your phone. You did all your school work, procrastinated a bit, made dinner with your mom, watched a couple episodes of queer eye to pretend you were crying because of that and not because your online best friend was ignoring you.

He was ignoring you. You were sure of that after the second day he refused to answer your messages. You could see him typing but soon he would delete it and not send anything.

The message you were so anxiously waiting came after the fourth day trying to reach out to him.

spotspidey: leave me alone.

It hurt, but it hurt so much more than you ever thought it would. The thought that he could have been just playing with you, that he had been collecting info, or that it meant nothing to him made it sting.

You were waiting for the pictures of you being silly pop out throughout the school, or on the internet. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. You were waiting for a sign that it all meant something other than you being so easily discarded that it wasn’t even worth a second thought.

All these days when things had been weird you had seen Spider-man. He was always somewhere near you when you went out. As if he was watching over you exclusively. It made you angry.

You saw a red suit pick out of an alley near your house.

“Leave me ALONE,” You said loudly. “Stop doing this weird stalking thing, dude.”

Spider-man got out of the alley with his head down.

“Sorry,” He mumbled. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why?” You laughed bitterly. “I’m just some lame girl you saved once, nothing more, nothing special about me.”

“Don’t- don’t say that, please.”

“It’s true,” You said with finality to your tone. “Now, if you could please stop doing what you’re doing-“

“Why?”

“Because- because seeing you reminds me of people I’d better forget.”

“Oh,” He said softly.

“I’m sorry I’m being ungrateful right now but- but- oh my god,” Your voice broke and you started to cry (fricking cry!) in the middle of the street. “I gotta go.”

You all but ran the rest of the way to your house, feeling embarrassed and just sad.

You put on your earphones, laying on your bed and just as you were about to put some music on you saw a notification that made your breath catch on your throat.

(yourighandle): spotspidey sent a video.

You sucked in a breath and clicked on the ig icon, went to your messages and clicked on his icon. You wanted to delay this as much as you possibly could.

Spider-man appeared on your phone screen and you sat up immediately.

“I know I fucked up, but this-“ He paused to take his mask off. You gasp out loud as you saw Peter Parker’s face, eyes bloodshot as if he had been crying, hair a mess and looking so soft you just wanted to hold him in your arms.

“This is why I disappeared. You knew me three different ways and I thought-“ The vídeo ended. There was another one.

“I thought you’d be disappointed to know they were me. Penis Parker, the loser.” Peter sounded defeated and as if he would start crying any minute. The video was over and you had a hand over your mouth, too shocked to do anything else.

There was another video and a message.

spotspidey: this is me, I know it’s not what you expected.

spotspidey: or wanted anyway

“So like if you could keep this a secret,” Peter had his hand in the back of his head. “I’m sorry, (y/n).”

Your heart was beating so hard it seemed like it was going to pop out of your chest. Your finger moved on its own accord and suddenly you were calling Peter.

“Hel-“ You didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“You’d never disappoint me, Peter Parker.”

You heard him sigh. “You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled.

“Peter, listen to me now. You are the smartest guy I’ve ever met, you’re a great friend, you are so sweet and kind to everyone you meet, you are an amazing person and you don’t get to talk about my best friend like that. You’re funny and yes, Parker, you’re a nerd! But in the best way possible.”

You were a little out of breath because you were speaking fast in case Peter decided to hang up.

“You are everything, Peter.” You finished your little speech.

“I-“ He chuckled sounding self-conscious. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Come over so we can hug it out.”

“Okay.”

You waited for less than five minutes and Spidey was knocking on your window. You opened it and he slipped inside the room.

“Hey,” You watched as he took his mask off.

“It’s really you,” you were still impressed and a bit astonished by it all.

“Yeah,” Peter smiled sadly.

You walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. He melted into it, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you close. Your bodies molded into each other, you fit like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece. You breathed him in and he did the same.

You had your eyes closed and was just enjoying being that close to him. Peter, spotspidey, Spider-man. They were all the same.

You pulled away, hands resting on Peter’s shoulders.

“It might mess everything up,” you said before leaning in and kissing him on the lips. It was just a press of lips at first but then your lips started moving against his and it changed everything.

You ran your fingers through his hair and he pulled you impossibly closer by the waist, fingers slipping under your shirt to touch your bare hips. You split in order to take a breath.

“So…” Peter said.

“That’s that,” both of you chuckled feeling a little embarrassed.

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah?” You asked with red cheeks and a small smile on your face.

“Yeah, I’d like you to do that again.”

“Many times?” You pushed him a little.

“All the time from now on,” He was still holding you and smiling.

“I could get on board with that.”

“We still need to talk, I kept things from you.”

“Aw please, later? We can talk about all the feelings later,” You leaned on his chest, he chuckled hugging you tight.

“What do you suggest we do now, then?”

“Nap, cuddle, make out. In that order, please.”

“Maybe I should change,” He suggested. He was probably right, it would be weird if your parent caught you snuggling someone dressed as Spider-man.

“I’m gonna grab some sweatpants for you and me.”

You rummaged through your closet and you two quickly changed, turning your back to the other to give them a sense of privacy. Maybe it would have been easier to go to the bathroom but it would take longer and you wanted to cuddle that boy to death right away.

You settled on the bed and Peter spooned you. “I don’t know why I have to be the little spoon,” you complained. “You deserve to be held and cared for too.”

It was much easier to say these things when you weren’t facing him, so you just told him everything that was on your mind.

“We can switch later, grumpy.”

“Hey!” You protested with no heat.

You enjoyed being held and could feel his breath on the back of your neck, it calmed and settled you.

“I forgive you,” you whispered suddenly. “If that’s what you need to hear. You were always forgiven, Pete.”

Your voice was getting slower and deeper was sleep took over you.

“Thanks,” was the last thing you heard him say before falling asleep in Peter Parker’s arms.

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker #spider-man #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x you #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #tom holland imagine #spiderman imagine #spiderman homecoming #Spiderman far from home #spiderman fanfic #spiderman ffh #spiderman fandom

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dearericbittle · 4 years

Text

Sterek masterpost

So, now that I’ve written 30 (!) Sterek fics, I figured it was about time that I made a masterpost of my stories. You can find the full list on my Tumblr as well!

Been here before and it just feels right (strangers tonight) - (T, 3.4k) Summary: Derek Hale was an awkward teenager, but he grew into himself. He grew out of that pulling pigtails phase. Shame that being reunited with his old crush brings it all back. Even worse: Stiles doesn’t even seem to recognize him. Or does he?

Better that I break the window (than miss what I should see) - (M, 9k) Summary: Someone opened Stiles’ window. But he’s all the way on the 7th floor - how the fuck did that happen? Spoiler alert: werewolves are real. And really hot.

Bring on the monsters (bring on the real world) - (E, 11.1k) Summary: He was supposed to be making an impression on Lydia, but instead he’s making fun of a terrible werewolf costume. To be fair, those mutton chops remind him of Michael J. Fox in the worst way, and the guy didn’t appear to be too offended. He was too busy smelling Stiles for some reason. He really shouldn’t have forgotten cologne.

but that’s just a first impression (I could be totally wrong) - (T, 2.9k) Summary: Derek is on a really awful blind date (Laura will pay for this). But the waiter is really cute.

The coolest wolf in the whole wide world - (T, 8.3k) Summary: Stiles is surprisingly good at being a wolf. Like, super good at control, loves the drama of making weird entrances, and determined to try all the things. Because he has to find out what’s different about being a wolf. And Derek is going to be his Yoda, whether he wants to or not. Only Stiles is pretty sure Yoda never smelled this good.

Detective Stiles Stilinski and the Case of Derek Hale’s Mysterious Mate - (T, 5.6k) Summary: Mates are a thing. A werewolf thing. Which is fine and shit, but finding out that Derek fucking Hale has a mate? That gets to him. And seeing as Derek won’t tell him who it is, well… Guess that means this is a job for Detective Stiles Stilinski - if he’s not too distracted by his traditional banter with Derek.

Everything mixed up (and baked in a beautiful pie) - (T, 6/6, 42k) Summary: Stiles’ friends are more of a pain in the ass than usual around the holiday season. Just because he spends all of his time at his bakery, doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. So hiring a fake boyfriend seems like the perfect, simple solution. Instead Stiles stumbles onto a stupid quest to make Derek Hale happy. But surely that will all work out in time.

Fit hot guys have problems too (don’t objectify us with your male and female gaze) - (T, 1.7k) Summary: To Cora, 1:24 AM: im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect?? Derek is tired of being objectified. Enter Stiles Stilinski, hot mess who has an opinion about everything. Derek is surprisingly intrigued.

Gymnophoria - (T, 0.9k) Summary: Stiles is paranoid - he keeps feeling someone’s eyes on him. Surprisingly, no nefarious plans happen.

He got lost in my DMs (wanna be way more than friends) - (T, 2.8k) Summary: Derek is somewhat of an online hero, providing candid pictures of himself to anyone who wants persistent suitors to just go away already. Stiles… is suddenly surrounded by assholes who apparently really want to hear about how great his fake boyfriend is. Part 1 of Slide into those DMs

Heard you were tough (but you don’t look it) - (T, 3.6k) Summary: Derek is a protective Alpha, and whenever he sees a human in danger, he has to step in. Usually people are grateful. This guy? Not so much. 3 times Derek saves that ungrateful magic user’s life, and 3 times the ungrateful asshole saved his in return

Here we are two strangers (with nothing but this little spark) - (T, 6k) Summary: Stiles is only at this masquerade party for revenge. Theo Raeken has taken everything from him, and this is the only way he can get close enough to ruin his fucking life. He gets sidetracked by a mysterious stranger who’s looking for revenge of his own. Maybe they can help each other…

I might never be (your knight in shining armor) - (T, 2.9k) Summary: So, in Stiles’ defence, he didn’t actually know that the woman harassing the dude-sel in distress was an actual witch. Or that the dude in question was an Alpha werewolf who claimed to be able to handle himself. Stiles agrees to disagree on that one.

I take this magnetic force of a man (to be my lover) - (T, 6k) Summary: Derek is pretty happy with the mate he’s somehow chosen, even though Stiles has no idea - and no interest in Derek. But that’s fine. Except Peter just has to open his big mouth, because he clearly wants to ruin Derek’s life. Part 2 of Laura Hale is the best Alpha

I’d be a fearless leader (I’d be an Alpha type) - (T, 7.8k) Summary: Most teenagers would run off if they found a bleeding half-wolf, half-lady with red eyes snarling at them. But Stiles’ fight or flight response has always been a little fucked, and Laura Hale looks like she could use a break. Part 1 of Laura Hale is the best Alpha

I’m gonna light a spark (gonna hold my breath until the morning) - (T, 2.5k) Summary: Derek hates the bus, hates how people use it as an excuse to sit close to him and bat their eyelashes at him. And then this stranger who smells like home just falls asleep on his lap.

Lie under different stars (I’ve not seen you in the flesh for so long) - (T, 3,4k) Summary: In which Laura Hale is a queen of holding on to childhood mementos and seeing things her brother won’t, and Derek Hale rediscovers his love of Mischief.

The man who’s gonna marry you (make you feel alive) - (T, 4.2k) Summary: Only Finstock could marry the wrong people. Only Greenberg could fill out the papers wrong, but Finstock didn’t even check. It was like he wanted Stiles to be married to Derek Hale. And no one would want that, except maybe… Stiles.

No more dark sad lonely (k)nights - (T, 2k) Summary: Derek is an Alpha without an emissary, so his nosy betas made sure he attended the convention. Stiles is clearly in the wrong convention hall, because his Batman cosplay does not appear to be going over well.

Old you in the garbage (new you in display case) - (T, 13.4k) Summary: Stiles is lonely and desperate and suffering from a crush on the grumpiest librarian. So what’s a boy to do but cook up a ridiculous plan to get himself dated and/or finally get laid before the holidays? He just wants his She’s All That moment, okay? He never expected that the plan would actually help him get the guy.

Real life isn’t a movie (life doesn’t make narrative sense) - (M, 11.6k) Summary: Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.

Shoot your shot when you see em (he’s already in my DMs) - (T, 3.9k) Summary: Derek may or may not be falling in love with one of Laura’s employees, and he’s only ever spoken to him on the phone. Stiles doesn’t even know his name! But apparently, he does know how to slide into his DMs. Part 2 of Slide into those DMs

Some Cupid kills with arrows (some with mistletoe) - (T, 9.5k) Summary: It’s the same thing every time. Derek Hale comes home, the town is in a snit, and Stiles Stilinski polishes his metaphorical armor and gets ready for a battle of wits. Not that he considers Derek’s comments particularly witty. Their friends are just tired of the sexual tension and the rampant egos, and they’re ready to do something about it.

Such great heights (corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces) - (T, 3.3k) Summary: In which everyone in the pack is together and alive, because fuck canon. In which Stiles is surprised that Derek’s super hearing fails him. He just wants to know how tall Derek is, why is that such a big deal?

Teach me how to thrive (i was a loser just like you) - (T, 4.9k) Summary: Scott was cool now - the Squip had made sure of that. Stiles? Not so cool. All he has left are his cryptic conversations with perpetually wasted Derek Hale as he desperately tries to get an evil computer chip from taking over Beacon Hills.

We were young once (innocent and fun once) - (T, 5,3k) Summary: So maybe making Lydia jealous is just an excuse for him to finally talk to Derek Hale - it’s been ten years and clearly that high school crush is not over. There’s just a lot more to Derek than he was expecting.

We’ll put on a show (Scotty has to know) - (T, 7.7k) Summary: Stiles is a stubborn asshole, determined to have fun in Europe even though Scott stays behind in Belgium because of a girl. So asking a stranger to make out with him for the ‘Gram? Totally the best decision he’s ever made, and not just because that’ll totally show Jackson (and Scott!). Shame he won’t see the guy again, though.

What it looks like to forget (it’s easier that way) - (T, 4.9k) Summary: He has no idea who he is, but the stranger with the whiskey eyes is calling him Derek. And the guy has been sitting at his bedside for three days, so he’s got some credit. Especially because the guy smells like he should be his - though that is a supremely weird thought that he probably needs to figure out first.

You want forgiveness (I’ll give that to you) - (T, 2.8k) Summary: Derek is running from the Alpha, suffering from wolfsbane poisoning and he’s clearly losing it. Why else would he be seeing his mother - and everyone else he might as well have killed himself. But Stiles can’t just let him get what he deserves. Stiles never leaves him behind, even when he should.

You’re moving me around you (I said darling hold me) - (T, 14,5k) Summary: Derek is the only beta in a pack of two, blaming himself for the loss of their entire family. When his sister pays someone to get him used to human contact again, Derek preps himself for a couple unwilling handshakes before he kicks the stranger out of his den. Stiles is… not what Derek expected.

#sterek #sterek fanfiction #masterpost #all the fic

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a34trgv2 · 5 years

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My thoughts on the term "Social Justice Warriors"

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT an anti-SJW. This post is not to harp on SJWs. This is just my personal opinion on how the term is used.

<sigh> Yeah, I kinda had that coming. That said, this has been bothering me for years now; almost a decade actually. I’ve seen this argument thrown about time and time again, particularly when a big budget movie dares to be more progressive in it’s storytelling and characters. It’s not just with movies though, people in general have been labeled SJWs because they have the audacity to promote their personal views on everything. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning.

For those who don’t know, a social justice warrior is a person who fights for a political cause they feel needs to be rectified. At the very least, that’s what the term is SUPPOSED to mean. But in doing my research, I found that the term has been used as an insult since early in the 2010s. Specifically around the time of Gamergate. I’m not going to get into it here (tl;dr it involves sexism, harassment and belittlement of women in the gaming industry), but this is roughly around the time I first heard of the term SJW. I’ve longed remained silent about this topic until Stefan “Mr. Coat” Ellison dismissed this term in a video addressing politics in film (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNSaHOJL1Gs). He mentioned how he thought of heroes like Robin Hood whenever he heard the term social justice warrior and that got me thinking: what other popular heroes can be considered “SJWs?” Well let’s gather up a few candidates.

Dr. Martin Luther King, jr.: You can argue how much of a fornicator he was back in the day all you want (I know, I was shocked when I found that out too), but there’s no denying he had a legitamate reason to lead marches in Alabama, give his famous speech in Washington D.C., and make his voice heard around the nation. Dr. King was a civil rights activist fighting for equal rights for African Americans. He and many others fought for injustice in our society and kept fighting up until his death. I don’t know about you, but that sounds and awful lot like a social justice warrior.

Stan Lee: You’d think I was pulling this out of my backside, but there is actually evidence to suggest Stan Lee was a social justice warrior in the best way possible. Stan made it no secret that he was against any form of bigotry, and it showed when he co-created the X-Men with Jack Kirby. He also wrote soap boxes with inspiring and encouraging messages to his readers to be respectful of other people. He even broke new grounds by co-creating the first mainstream African superhero, Black Panther (again, with Jack Kirby). Ask anyone who’s collaborated with him and you’ll find nothing but positive things said about the guy.

Walt Disney: Contrary to popular belief, Walt Disney was NOT a racist, anti-semite, or homophobic dork (nor was his head frozen under Disneyland, he was cremated). He treated everyone as an equal and wanted nothing more than to see creativity become the norm of society. Case in point, EPCOT was his idea for a city that would be focused on creating the future. It was an ambitious yet exciting project that ultimately became Disney World Resort and a theme park right in Florida. Also, his early films had subtle messages about growing up, following your dreams and being a good person; you know, morals anybody can relate to.

Malala Yousafzai: If you don’t know the story of this young girl from Pakistan, here’s a brief round down. Malala is an advocate for free education for young girls in her country. A terrorist group known as The Taliban hated her guts and one of them shot her in the head while she was on the bus. She made it out alive, her story became viral and now boys and girls are given a free education in Pakistan. And she continues to be an inspiration for young girls around the world as she fights for others rights for a free education.

Everyone Involved in the #MeToo Movement: The one positive thing anyone can say about Harvey Weinstein is that because of him, women in the entertainment industry have finally decided to take a stand. No longer are they going to hide behind closed doors or lock away their trauma in a closet. And it’s not just women, men have come forward about being taken advantaged of too. And this movement shows no signs of slowing down as just this past week a couple people took to Twitter to expose Vic Mignogna of unwanted hugs and kisses, making insensitive remarks and refusing to sign sfw yaoi fanart because “it’s not canon.” If you support the men, women and children who have been taken advantaged of in the entertainment industry, consider yourself an honorary social justice warrior.

Jesus Christ: You knew this was coming. Understandably people have a problem with organized religion (a topic for another day), but that does not mean Jesus didn’t do any good during His time. Aside from helping a blind man see, feeding thousands with just a few pieces of bread and fish, and of course dying for our sins, Jesus preached equality, respect of other people and always be willing to help. Despite being labeled King of Kings, He never once demanded to be treated like one. When you get right down to it, Jesus was a good man who wanted to help people. What’s wrong with that?

So, why is it that people use “social justice warrior” as an insult when it’s clearly meant to be a compliment? In my opinion, it stems from the instances when people are too pushy with their beliefs. There are people out there who do try to force people to believe their way of living is the best way. It’s easy to say “just ignore them, they don’t matter,” so I’ll say something different but hopefully more effective. If someone is promoting a belief that is different than your own, instead of shutting them out, why not listen to what they have to say, agree to disagree and move on? It’s much less of a headache that way then entering a screaming contest where the one who blows their voice out first loses. When it comes to entertainment, however, can we just chill the fridge out? “Oh the horror of movies getting political now. Why can’t entertainment and politics stay separate?” Uhh, movies have been political since Day 1. Birth of a Nation, Hell’s Angels, Cleopatra, Oliver Twist just to name a few of the early ones. Star Wars has the good guys called Rebels and the bad guys called the Empire. Superman is about an immigrant trying to find his place in the world while helping other wherever he can. I can go on about how other films handle politics be it subtle or very explicit but the point is movies getting political is not even close to a new concept.

Conclusion: I see the use of the term “social justice warrior” the same way I see the term “gay” these days: it used to be a compliment but then the Internet came along and unjustly turned it into an insult. It’s honestly backwards thinking that does more harm then good. I really wish we can make an effort to make “social justice warrior” a compliment again, but that’s not going to happened unless more people realize what they’re saying isn’t insulting in the slightest. Honestly, I’d much rather be called an SJW then the “n” word anyday.

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bibliophileiz · 6 years

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I gotta tell you, as a kid, I would have been stoked after learning the title of Supernatural Season 14′s premiere.

Stranger in a Strange Land is, yes, a sci-fi book by Robert A. Heinlein that maybe someday I’ll get around to reading, however. Heinlein’s title references the Book of Exodus. Specifically he references Moses, who says at one point: “I am a stranger in a strange land.” (Exodus 2:22)

(My Archaeology Study Bible, which is a NIV translation, actually translates the line to “alien in a foreign land” but that doesn’t sound as good and obviously hasn’t inspired other works of art and literature like the more well-known translation.)

Anyway, nine-year-old Iz was a huge fan of ancient Egypt and especially the Exodus story. And looking at Supernatural in the context of what recently happened in the show and this quote “stranger in a strange land” actually says some pretty interesting -- and slightly worrying -- stuff about Michael in the upcoming season.

So to put the original quote in context, Moses has fucked up. He has killed an Egyptian who was beating a Hebrew slave. Worse, he’s gotten caught, so he has to run away from Egypt, the only home he’s ever known. It should be noted that at this point, he’s already learned he’s a Hebrew. (Movies like The Prince of Egypt or The Ten Commandments always make that a Huge Reveal scene, but there’s nothing in the Bible to suggest one of his moms didn’t just sit him down one day and tell him.)

Moses runs into the desert where he finds these women being harassed by a group of douche bags and he, not being a dick, scares the douche bags off. The women invite him home, and it turns out their father’s a Midianite priest who lets him stay with them. Moses basically moves in and ends up marrying one of the priest’s daughters, a woman named Tzipporah. (Again, my NIV Bible spells it Zipporah, but I learned it as Tzipporah. Idk which is correct, though I guess the most correct would be the version spelled with ancient Hebrew letters.)

Anyway, Tzipporah has a baby, and Moses names him Gershom, which roughly translates to “an alien there.” That’s when he says, “I am a stranger in a strange land.”

Which is an interesting place to say that, quite frankly. He’s already run away from Egypt, but he didn’t say it when he ran away. He doesn’t say it when he finds himself among the Midianites, doesn’t say it when he's invited to dinner or invited to stay permanently, or even when he gets married. He says it when he has a child with a Midianite woman, which is about as strong a root as a refugee can put down in a new land. It’s also a pretty bold statement of identity -- not only are you identifying yourself as being ‘not from around these here parts,’ but you’re placing that identity on your child, who in this case is literally the grandson of a Midianite priest. Midianite priests were basically administrators -- it was his father-in-law who advised Moses in how to split the Israelites into groups to more efficiently govern them after they all left Egypt. This would be like if the daughter of a senator or judge married a refugee and the refugee named their child “Not American.”

If you wanted to get meta, you could interpret it as a larger metaphor for the Israelite people, who by this time have been in bondage in Egypt -- not their ancestral homeland -- for multiple generations by that point. And they are very much “strangers in a strange land” who don’t worship the Egyptian gods and who are separated from Egyptians by The Worst Class Barrier Ever, a.k.a. slavery, similar to African Americans in the antebellum United States. When the Israelites in Egypt have babies, they have to throw said babies into the river by order of the pharaoh. Everything about the way the Egyptians treat them says, “This is not your place, you are not in charge here.” So whenever Israelites have children -- children who they know may never see their ancestral homeland that God promised Abraham, children who they know will spend their lives enslaved by another group of people, children who may not even be allowed to live -- they’re probably thinking roughly the same thing Moses said when he had his child.

And of course almost anyone reading Exodus knows that Moses will, within a few years, go back to Egypt to lead the Israelites out of slavery and eventually to Israel. The Israelites don’t actually make it to their ancestral homeland until after Moses dies, on account of the Hebrews disobeying God a bunch of times in the desert, so neither Moses nor anyone from his generation ever actually live in the land of Abraham. So there’s a permanent sense of ‘being out-of-place’ to this whole story.

This is a long way of coming to my point about Supernatural, but who would be the character feeling most out-of-place at the beginning of Season 14? It’s Michael.

Michael, who after fucking up and destroying his home universe, finds himself in a totally different, not-yet-destroyed universe with his true vessel and possibly a group of angels who need leading back to the Heaven of days gone by. Remember, in Season 13 we left Heaven in a ... not good state. There are nine angels left, and they can’t hold Heaven together much longer. Michael’s goal is to create Paradise -- on earth, on heaven, I have a feeling he’ll be down for either.

So Michael comes from a place (AltUniverse) that is not his end goal (Paradise) to an entirely new place (In-universe Earth) with the goal of attaining Paradise, which kind of follows the path Moses took. On the one hand, this is good because it suggests a). Michael will fix Heaven and b). Michael will die before having much to do with it. However, it also suggests some problematic stuff for Dean, who in this metaphor, is Gershom.

If Moses uses the phrase, “stranger in a strange land” when he’s putting down roots, staking his claim in this strange land by having a son with a native woman, then Michael’s staking his claim on earth by ... well, possessing the man who, in the show, represents humanity and using him to try and bring about Paradise on Earth instead of Heaven, where it’s supposed to stay be. Which also makes me think Dean’s not getting un-possessed, at least not this episode, and maybe not in the next. Michael’s putting down some roots, just like Moses did, and it took a while -- and a literal argument with and miracle from God -- to get Moses to do what he was supposed to and go back to Egypt.

Even if Sam and Jack and Cas DO manage to save Dean in the season premiere, I think there will be a lot of lingering effects of the possession throughout the first half of the season. Our Dean’s not going to come out of this unchanged, that’s for sure.

As a side note, I’m not crazy about the anti-refugee stance this suggests, and I only hope we also get a parallel between Michael and Cas, the other out-of-place angel, but one we like. In general, this theory paints angels as bad refugees, and I don’t know how the show is going to satisfy both the ethical need to not paint refugees as bad and the practical in-show need for the angels to gtfo already. (Also, to be fair, I’ve been reading refugee themes in almost every piece of pop culture I’ve consumed in the last two years, so maybe I’m just hyper-sensitized to it by now.) (Also to be fair, they have good refugees with the, you know, ACTUAL human refugees that Michael displaced, so.)

I don’t really tend to write meta, especially not this in-depth, but the ancient-Egypt-loving hot mess of a nine-year-old in me is super excited about the Exodus reference! Also, rereading the first two chapters of Exodus has armed me with a Biblical argument to take to the next anti-immigrant or anti-black bullshit that comes up in conversation with my extended family. God disagrees with you and wants you to be harassed by locusts, Uncle Ed!

#supernatural #season 14

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floralkittygambler · 3 years

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Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening - Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set. I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways.

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit.

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others. The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online.

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog:

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot. But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others. For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now. Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

#im fucking tired #ive hardly had any alcohol lately as well #ive snuck some though but not as much for unwind time sadly #also discovered sourz alcohol and it is wonderful #i made someone laugh until literal pissing themselves though so #im taking bloody pride in that comedy so

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southsidestory · 7 years

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#across the stars (a wank wars story)

SUMMARY: Across the Stars dramatizes the story of the real life Skywalker clan, and fans of the show have built a legion of fractured followers across social media. Ben Solo goes by @mynameiskyloren, and his dealings with Rey, aka his rival fandom leader @jakkujunkrat, bring more than his true identity to light.

NOTES: This is the Star Wars social media fic that absolutely no one asked for. At best I can call this romantic crack with a dose of seriousness, and at worst the result of my brain weasels. Either way, it’s somewhat of an ode to tumblr and its crazy. If this isn’t a dumpster fire, please let me know! (PS my awesome husband helped me brainstorm for this, the evil genius.)

—

a long time ago in a fandom far, far away...

WANK

WARS

EPISODE VIII

ACROSS THE STARS

It is a period of civil war. Fans of popular historical holodrama ACROSS THE STARS squee over the Skywalker family legacy. The show’s three arcs, Republic, Rebellion, and Resistance, have earned critical acclaim and a legion of followers. In the wait between Seasons 7 and 8, WANK WARS fueled by boredom have gripped the fandom as they never have before.

The FIRST ORDER disparages AtS for its failure to dramatize the real Skywalkers' lives with historical accuracy after Season 3. @thesupremeleader, a BNF known only as Snoke, instigates drama whenever the fandom threatens to settle down.

But @mynameiskyloren, Snoke’s loyal devotee, is keeping his true identity hidden from the fandom. It’s only a matter of time before his dealings with @jakkujunkrat draw him away from the First Order, and he makes enemies of his former friends...

—

15 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

Look @mynameiskyloren I really don’t care about the historical accuracy of seasons 4-7. Most of us are here to have fun, to write fic and make art and shitpost about our favorite characters. You and your anti brigade need to get off your high tauntauns and face facts: Across the Stars prioritizes good storytelling over everything else. If you can’t accept that maybe you should move your ass along to another fandom instead of harassing the people who are here to celebrate something we love. I mean, this is a holodrama. Don’t you have anything better to do than fight over a piece of fiction???

#ats #wank wars #first order bs #fuck you very much

mynameiskyloren

You’re a hypocrite @jakkujunkrat. You’re arguing over a holodrama too, so you must not have anything better to do either.

And in case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t just fiction. These are real people’s lives being portrayed for mass consumption. Seasons 1-3 dealt in facts, and it still managed to draw all of us in, so don’t feed me that shit line that following real events doesn’t make for a good story.

Just be honest: you’re here to ship Han and Leia, and you don’t care what their marriage is like irl as long as you get their perfect love story in AtS. Maybe YOU should gtfo and find somewhere else to fangirl.

Or you know, just stick to scavenging, since that’s probably all you’re good at.

#ats #hanleia shippers are the worst #and jakkujunkrat is their queen #fuck you too sweetheart

fn-1337

Calm down, mynameisasshole. Dragging Rey’s real life into a fandom fight is a dick move. Especially since your privileged ass probably doesn’t know the first thing about the kind of hard work Rey does every day. So sit down and shut up.

#wank wars #first order bs #leave my friend alone

—

14 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

unpopular opinion: Yav Korren is a good-looking man and a great actor, but he is not as hot as the real Ben Solo.

#ben solo #my husband #apologies to yav #but otherwise sorrynotsorry #all these candids of ben cropping up on my dash are fucking me up #han and leia made the best looking son #they have good genes

starfleet-ace

lmao someone is thirsty. that’s an unpopular opinion for a reason, rey. you know i love you, but we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one. back me up @fn-1337

#yav korren is almost as hot as my boyfriend

fn-1337

Sorry baby, no can do. I’m with Rey on this one.

#<3 #ily poe

jakkujunkrat

Ben Solo is boyfriend goals. Fight me.

#we appreciate ben solo in this house #don’t come on my lawn and disparage my man #ben solo

themaidofstarkiller

Sorry @jakkujunkrat, it’s gross enough to ship real people, but openly talking about a 19-year-old celebrity child like he’s a piece of meat takes it to the next level. You’re really something else. Am I right, or am I right @therealhux @mynameiskyloren

#RPF is the stuff of nightmares #creeping on a real kid is even worse

therealhux

100% correct, Phasma. I couldn’t agree more.

mynameiskyloren

I hate to ever support @jakkujunkrat, but I don’t think it’s fair to criticize her just for having a celebrity crush. Who the hell doesn’t?

And she’s right about Ben Solo. Definitely better looking than Yav Korren.

jakkujunkrat

@themaidofstarkiller I’m 18, which I have plastered across the top of my blog. You stalk me too much not to already know that, so you can stfu with pulling Ben Solo’s age like it’s a receipt.

and kylo… did you just defend me??

#is the sky falling?

mynameiskyloren

Don’t get used to it, junkrat.

—

13 days before the Season 8 premiere

thesupremeleader

Just a reminder to the First Order that I have a zero tolerance policy for talking to Resistance fans.

I’m not going to call you out, but you know who you are.

#stay away from the resistance #if you want to keep your place on the right side of this fandom

therealhux

There’s no accounting for taste these days.

#not that I would expect better from the fan in question #he has so much trouble following the rules #like a toddler

mynameiskyloren

@therealhux if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say it.

#vagueposts are for cowards

therealhux

I just did. Or did you miss it with that goldfish attention span of yours?

#don’t see you calling thesupremeleader a coward

mynameiskyloren

Fuck you.

therealhux

So eloquent.

thesupremeleader

I don’t think you have room to further alienate your allies right now, Kylo. You’re on thin ice.

#get it together

mynameiskyloren

sorry @thesupremeleader

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: finn, are you seeing this?

fn-1337: you mean mynameisasshole taking heat from the first order BNFs? yeah i’m seeing it, and it tastes like sweet sweet comeuppance.

jakkujunkrat: i know i shouldn’t, but i feel kind of bad for him. he’s getting roasted by snoke and hux just for being nice to me. do you think i should say something?

fn-1337: rey. are you kidding me? this is the guy who’s been giving you hell for *four* years. remember that time he left a nasty review on your post-canon fic? he called it what… “repetitive and trite”?

jakkujunkrat: okay. good point. he can fend for himself.

—

12 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

This is the worst selfie in the world, but here you go. My sunburned face in all its glory.

#it me #forgive me for dirtying your dash with this

themaidofstarkiller

You should change your handle to jakkuleatherface. Or buy some sunscreen.

#she’s going to look 50 when she’s 30 #jakkujunkrat

therealhux

No wonder you’re single @jakkujunkrat

#I knew that someone that bitchy couldn’t be pretty

fn-1337

Don’t listen to a word these shitheads are saying, Rey. You’re beautiful.

#say one more word and i will drag you guys to hell and back

starfleet-ace

hux: i don’t think your pasty ginger ass gets to talk about anyone else’s looks

phasma: you’re as pretty on the outside as you are on the inside. which is to say ugly af

rey: you’re stunning, and they’re just jealous.

#you guys are really reaching here

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

fn-1337: Rey? You okay?

jakkujunkrat: yeah. i’m fine. just don’t really wanna talk right now.

fn-1337: all right, peanut. let me know if you need me. i’m here all night.

—

JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - ask me whatever as long as it’s nice

Anonymous

Hey. I’m really sorry to see all the hate you’re getting about your selfie. I hope this isn’t creepy coming from anon, but… I just want you to know that you’re really pretty, and those guys are being assholes. It’s got nothing to do with the way you look. They’d say the same thing to any Resistance fan.

jakkujunkrat

Thanks, nonny. I really needed to hear that.

And thank you @starfleet-ace and @fn-1337 for being awesome. You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for.

—

11 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

I need to take a break from fandom for a little while. Real life is catching up with me, and the rig I’ve put together to even get a slow shitty connection to the holonet is breaking down. I need to put my scavenger hat on and do some maintenance.

See you guys in a few days.

#it’s just a brief hiatus #i promise i’m not ghosting #personal

fn-1337

Take care, peanut. <3

#best friend #see you soon rey

therealhux

Maybe with the queen gone the peasants will settle down.

bee-bee-ate

I have a finger to point at you @therealhux. Here is a clue: it is not the index or the pinky, or the ring or the thumb. It’s the one you put up when you don’t give a fuck. :D

#choke bitch

—

10 days before the Season 8 premiere

fn-1337

Look, all I’m saying is that old!Han and old!Leia’s actors absolutely killed it in Season 7, and I can’t wait to see what they do in Season 8.

#my dash is flooded with promo photos of my OTP #and all I want to do is write HanLeia #ONLY TEN MORE DAYS

mynameiskyloren

Newsflash: your OTP is separated irl. Kills the romance a little doesn’t it?

If Season 8 is full of the same used romantic tropes that 4-7 was full of idk if I’m even going to stick around for it.

#god i hate this fandom #fuck the resistance

fn-1337

I’ve never prayed harder for used romantic tropes in my life.

#mynameisasshole strikes again #and for the record i only ship HanLeia in AtS #not irl #wank wars #first order bs

—

9 days before the Season 8 premiere

JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - ask me anything mean and you’ll be blocked

Anonymous

Hi. I know you said you were going to be gone for a little while, but I was just wondering if there’s an ETA on when you might be back? The fandom is pretty boring without you, junkrat.

—

PRIVATE MESSAGING

jakkujunkrat: ...did you send me that anon?

mynameiskyloren: no. if i have something to say to you i’ll say it to your face

jakkujunkrat: come off it, kylo. nobody calls me just “junkrat” but you. i’m “rey” to everybody in the resistance, and first order idiots would never send me anything that nice.

jakkujunkrat: kylo? you there?

mynameiskyloren: i’m here

jakkujunkrat: well. you sent it, right?

mynameiskyloren: yeah i did. but i can explain

jakkujunkrat: explain being decent to me? yeah that’s gonna require a fucking thesis.

jakkujunkrat: you’ve done nothing but harass me since i got involved in this fandom

mynameiskyloren: give me a break, rey

jakkujunkrat: i’m not giving you anything

mynameiskyloren: fine then there’s no point in having this conversation

jakkujunkrat: just be honest. why’d you send me that ask?

mynameiskyloren: because you seem all right. i still disagree with you about pretty much everything AtS related but… i don’t know. i’m starting to think that’s not a good enough reason to give you hell

mynameiskyloren: i think if i’d met you irl we could have gotten along. you have to admit that we keep up with each other pretty well.

mynameiskyloren: rey? say something

jakkujunkrat: i have to go

—

8 days before the Season 8 premiere

therealhux

Attention, all First Order fans: one of our own has been fraternizing with the resistance. And what’s more, he’s been stringing us along from day one.

@mynameiskyloren has lied about his age, where he lives, and who he is. He also has a relationship with the Across the Stars cast and their real life counterparts, which he’s been hiding for seven years.

Kylo Ren is actually Ben Solo, and if you don’t believe me I’ve got receipts and all of his personal information below the cut.

[Read More]

#payback is a bitch #mynameisalie

themaidofstarkiller

Hux. Is this some kind of joke??

starfleet-ace

@therealhux did you seriously just doxx one of your own??? wow you’re a piece of shit

fn-1337

Why isn’t anyone commenting on the fact that one of the biggest antis in this fandom is BEN FUCKING SOLO?!! ACTUAL SON OF THE REAL HAN AND LEIA!

#holy shit #it explains a lot at least #oh god i’ve been shipping his parents’ characters

fn-1337

@jakkujunkrat REEEEYYYYYYY

bee-bee-ate

This is gross. Real life identities should be protected, not revealed. Shame on you @therealhux

a-new-rose

Wow. This is crazy. I just got to this fandom and it’s kind of exploding…

#this guy can’t really be ben solo tho right?

thesupremeleader

I don’t think it needs to be said, but if anyone hasn’t put it together yet: mynameiskyloren is no longer welcome in this fandom.

#that’s what you get for lying

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: kylo? is it true?

sorry, this blog does not exist

—

7 days before the Season 8 premiere

mynameisbensolo

Hi everyone. This is the former mynameiskyloren here. There’s been a lot of stuff said about me in the last twenty-four hours, and I want to clear it up.

1) @therealhux did doxx me, which is low even for him.

2) I was talking to someone from the resistance, and the reason why is that I’m coming to see the damage that anti behavior can cause. I’ll make a more detailed post on that later, but in short, it’s going to involve a lot of apologizing.

3) In case you hadn’t guessed from my new handle: yes, I am Ben Solo.

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

starfleet-ace: REY where are you?? finn is flipping out and i can’t handle a fanboy meltdown this big on my own

starfleet-ace: Rey?

—

JAKKUJUNKRAT ACTIVITY FEED

mynameisbensolo is following you

—

JAKKUJUNKRAT INBOX - don’t ask me anything about ben solo

Anonymous

HOLY HELL!! mynameiskyloren is Ben Solo?!! pls tell me what you think about all of this Rey

Anonymous

ok i can see that u don’t want to be asked about ben solo, buuuut… you know we’re all dying to hear from you, right? i mean, you made that post about ben solo being hot, and then he turns out to be kylo!! come on Rey, throw us a bone here!

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

fn-1337: rey, i know this has gotta be pretty weird, but i’m starting to get worried about you. can you please come online long enough to let me know you’re all right?

jakkujunkrat: hey finn. i’m sorry for disappearing. this is all just… a lot.

fn-1337: yeah, i guess it would be.

fn-1337: can i ask you a question?

jakkujunkrat: always

fn-1337: are you the one he was talking to?

jakkujunkrat: yep. and he followed me this morning. idk what to do, finn.

fn-1337: you don’t have to do anything. you don’t owe him shit just because he decided to finally act like a human being. not after the way he’s treated all of us.

jakkujunkrat: i know that. really, i do.

fn-1337: then what’s the problem?

jakkujunkrat: the problem is that i think i was starting to like him. and now he’s… he’s ben solo. how am i supposed to talk to ben solo?

fn-1337: he’s just a person, peanut. an asshole, but a person.

—

6 days before the Season 8 premiere

jakkujunkrat

Guys. I know you’re interested in what I think about the Kylo Ren / Ben Solo thing, but I would really appreciate it if you’d stop sending me messages about it. I’ve turned off anon for now. All of you have a nice day.

#sorry #this is getting to be a bit much

therealhux

So are you guys running off into the sunset together yet?

#you don’t have anyone fooled

jakkujunkrat

It looks like you can’t read: I’m not talking about Ben.

#your name should be therealilliterate

themaidofstarkiller

Our resident pathological liar certainly has the money to fly to Jakku. You two fucking yet?

#jakkuleatherface

this post has been deleted

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

mynameisbensolo: Rey? I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but if you can, let me know

—

5 days before the Season 8 premiere

fn-1337

It seems like this fandom has forgotten why we’re really here. Season 8 starts in FIVE DAYS, so can we please forget about doxxing drama and focus on the fun?

#damn #ats #ats season 8 #FIVE DAYS in case i didn’t say it loud enough for the people in the back

bee-bee-ate

I am with you @fn-1337!

a-new-rose

Am I the only one that thinks @bee-bee-ate is some kind of resistance bot?

—

starfleet-ace

in entirely unrelated news, is anyone else sick of Snoke’s stupidly detailed metas with a list of citations longer than his arm? we really don’t care how many degrees you have, man. it’s just a holodrama and you’re treating fandom like a history test you have to pass.

thesupremeleader

I think it’s safe to say that you wouldn’t know much about passing history tests @starfleet-ace.

—

FN-1337 INBOX - don’t bother with hate

bee-bee-ate

Are you going to roast Snoke for calling your boyfriend stupid?

fn-1337

You bet your ass I am.

#bring it you supreme idiot #i’m about to rip you apart

—

4 days before the Season 8 premiere

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: Ben? I’m here

mynameisbensolo: Damn. It’s really nice to be called by my real name lol

jakkujunkrat: lol I guess so

mynameisbenolo: Rey, I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry for everything I did to you. I hurt you and I bothered the hell out of you, and if I could take it back I would.

jakkujunkrat: It’s not okay, but I believe you. And I guess I can see now why you were so sensitive about the show. It must be weird to see yourself represented on screen like that.

mynameisbensolo: lol yeah. Especially when the popular opinion is that Yav Korren is a lot better looking than me :/

jakkujunkrat: Well. Not to me. But I guess you know that.

jakkujunkrat: this is so embarrassing.

mynameisbensolo: i saw that you deleted everything you had tagged with my name

jakkujunkrat: what, you went looking through it? That’s not narcissistic at all.

mynameisbensolo: better than tagging a stranger #my husband

jakkujunkrat: i don’t know why i thought i could talk to you. i don’t care who you are, you’re still awful

mynameisbensolo: wait i’m sorry rey don’t go

mynameisbensolo: please

jakkujunkrat: why shouldn’t i?

mynameisbensolo: i wasn’t trying to be mean

jakkujunkrat: and yet

mynameisbensolo: Stop it. Stop acting like you don’t feel this too.

jakkujunkrat: i don’t know what you’re talking about.

mynameisbensolo: Then I’ll be more explicit. I like you. I think you’re gorgeous and funny and smart, and I’ve wanted to kiss you for awhile. Long before I had any idea what you looked like.

mynameisbensolo: Still don’t know what I’m talking about, sweetheart?

jakkujunkrat: i can’t do this right now. i have to work if I want to eat. Literally.

mynameisbensolo: please don’t disappear again

—

3 days before the Season 8 premiere

fn-1337

If one more person sends @jakkujunkrat another message or hijacks her posts with questions about Ben Solo I will personally escort them to the nearest burn unit.

#not kidding #not even a little bit #leave my friend alone #sologate

starfleet-ace

get these thugs, finn.

bee-bee-ate

I support this action.

#protect our scavenger queen

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: all right. let’s talk.

mynameisbensolo: I’m really glad you said that. Because… okay don’t be mad. Please.

jakkujunkrat: ...why would I be mad?

mynameisbensolo: I’m kind of. Here.

jakkujunkrat: what do you mean “here”?

mynameisbensolo: as in, on Jakku. I’m at Niima Outpost right now. I’ve tried getting directions from about ten different people but they either don’t speak Basic or have no idea where you live.

jakkujunkrat: you’ve got to be joking. are you joking?

mynameisbensolo: Depends on how angry you’ll be if I say “no”

jakkujunkrat: You have to leave. Right now.

mynameisbensolo: Oh. Okay.

mynameisbensolo: I’m really sorry, Rey I don’t know what I was thinking. I just knew you were here, and I wanted to have a chance to talk to you in person. But if you want me to go, I’ll go.

jakkujunkrat: then get out of here

—

mynameisbensolo

Please forgive me.

#do not reblog

—

2 days before the Season 8 premiere

therealhux

All I’m going to say is that you got what was coming to you.

#no i don’t regret doxxing him #stop asking

themaidofstarkiller

^^^

#lol #revenge is delicious

mitakahere

Do you think they’re broken up? Or were they ever together?

#forgive him rey!! #i don’t know what he did #but pls forgive him

fn-1337

Full offense @mitakahere but this is none of your business.

#leave my friend alone #i’m getting really tired of tagging that

themaidofstarkiller

Resistance morons aren’t welcome on this thread @fn-1337

Get the hell off Hux’s post.

#they’re just everywhere aren’t they? #but finn is the worst

bee-bee-ate

@themaidofstarkiller you have a bad dye job and a worse attitude. Perhaps you should consider a personality recalibration.

#i could help with that! :D

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

jakkujunkrat: Ben?

mynameisbensolo: yes?

jakkujunkrat: where are you?

mynameisbensolo: on Hosnian Prime. Why?

jakkujunkrat: please come back to Jakku

mynameisbensolo: really? You’re not messing with me, are you?

jakkujunkrat: really. I’ve never had a visitor before, and you surprised me by just showing up unannounced. which wasn’t all right by the way.

mynameisbensolo: I know. I won’t do it again.

jakkujunkrat: stop messaging me and get on a ship.

mynameisbensolo: as you wish, sweetheart.

—

1 day before the Season 8 premiere

starfleet-ace

okay i think that no matter where you stand in this fandom, we can all agree that tomorrow is gonna be awesome. we’ve been waiting a year for this! don’t let us down, Rian!

fn-1337

You can say that again, love.

#ONE DAY #ONE MORE DAY #THAT’S IT #23 HOURS AND 14 MINUTES TO BE EXACT

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

fn-1337: Rey??? Where r u? I need someone to celebrate with.

jakkujunkrat: sorry finn, i’m busy.

fn-1337: what are you doing that makes you too busy to cheer with me?!

jakkujunkrat: ...you wouldn’t believe me if i told you. catch you later!

fn-1337: oh come on, you can’t do this to me

fn-1337: REYYYY

—

Season 8 premiere of Across the Stars

—

fn-1337

DID YOU SEE THAT? @starfleet-ace?!

#i’m fucking dying #this is the most amazing day of my life #well except for when poe agreed to go out with me #STILL #it’s great #ats season 8 #ats

starfleet-ace

yeah i saw it! best season premiere ever.

#love you finn

therealhux

I can’t believe we can agree on something.

#this is a novel experience #ats season 8 #if they keep this up the show might actually become worthwhile again

bee-bee-ate

The astromech droid is my favorite character.

#so relatable

mitakahere

Where the hell is Rey?! @jakkujunkrat

#come back our scavenger queen #we miss you

—

MYNAMEISBENSOLO INBOX

Anonymous

Did it really happen like this? Please you have to tell us!!

—

PRIVATE MESSAGES

mynameisbensolo: are you seeing this?

jakkujunkrat: of course :)

jakkujunkrat: watching Yav is pretty weird now that i’ve met you

mynameisbensolo: still think i’m the better looking one now that you’ve seen me up close?

jakkujunkrat: you know i do. at least i really hope so after last night.

mynameisbensolo: are you doing okay? you seemed upset afterward

jakkujunkrat: i’m fine

mynameisbensolo: Rey. I think we’re a little past lying to each other at this point. What’s wrong?

mynameisbensolo: was I bad?

jakkujunkrat: no! no. please don’t think that. it was wonderful, Ben, really. you were wonderful.

mynameisbensolo: so were you. and i really hope it wasn’t the last time i see you. i’d like to come back. Or bring you to Hosnian Prime with me.

jakkujunkrat: I can’t. I can’t leave. That’s why I was upset. My family left me here, and I’m waiting for them to come back for me and I can’t leave. I want to but I can’t and I probably sound really stupid right now but I’ve been waiting all my life and I don’t want it to be for nothing.

mynameisbensolo: it’s all right. You don’t have to go anywhere you’re not ready to go, sweetheart.

mynameisbensolo: And I can wait. If that’s something you want.

jakkujunkrat: It’s not easy. Waiting.

mynameisbensolo: That’s okay. You’re worth it.

—

#reylo #reylo fanfic #social media fic #background stormpilot #reylo crack #with a dash of serious #across the stars a wank wars story #my fanfiction #it's basically tumblr in space

64 notes · View notes

eeveelutionsforequality · 6 years

Note

Hey mods, I’m gonna preface this by saying that if you can’t answer this that’s understandable. I’m a trans guy that’s been out (to varying degrees) for a little under 3 years now, but whenever somebody misgenders or deadnames me I always have a really hard time correcting them. I get this irrational fear that they’ll get super mad at me, or that they’re really transphobic and will harass/attack me. Do you have any tips for gaining confidence in correcting people? Thanks!

I think it really depends upon the context, like, how to act, how to react, how safe it is, what to say, how to get the confidence - they're all things that you tend to have to judge on a case by case basis. There are some situations where I don't correct because it's a random shopkeeper that I'll never see again, so it's ultimately just an effort that I don't personally feel the need to exert (it triggers dysphoria when they do it, obviously, but it's already been triggered by the time I need to correct them, so I'd rather scan my stuff and leave than dwell on that moment).

When it comes to my family, with my birthname, we found a compromise - when I was younger they often used to shorten my birthname to one of two masculine nicknames. I let them call me those nicknames now - I know that my family doesn't like the name that I picked for myself, or my reasons for picking that particular name, so I don't force them to call me that, especially since there's another viable option.

My family does misgender me consistently, and rather than correcting them on it I talked to them about how they feel - they told me that they accept me, that they value me as me, and they did the typical "I don't think of you as a girl or a boy, you're just you" speech, and I know it came from a good place even if it's a cliché that can sound invalidating. The way I see it, they're not thinking about gender, it's not on their minds like it is for me - to them "she" is just the natural word to say because it's what they've said for two and a half decades, it doesn't mean "I think of you as a girl" in their heads, there's no depth or underlying meaning behind their use of the word.

However, they do make little efforts to validate my identity or to show that they do support me - they buy me mugs or towels with "mr" or "his" on them, for example. If I jokingly say something like "I hope you don't expect me to wear a dress to the funeral." they'll say something like "It's a funeral not a drag show. Just wear your usual emo shit." They'll often say something like "typical bloke" if they catch me looking at an attractive woman on the TV or if I burp after a meal.

So yeah, I had a lot more success just talking to my family and being casual about it - showing that I appreciate the little things that they do, and finding middle-grounds and understandings rather than just expecting them to be fully capable of meeting all of my needs - but I don't actually correct them at all.

Ultimately, I don't know the people in your life, I don't know what tactics to use, how to talk to them, what they think, so I can't really tell you how to broach the topic with them or how to word the corrections. I think people disagree on the etiquette of it all too - like, some people interrupt, some just cough, some say "You said 'she'" at the end, while some say "It's 'he'", some go passive-aggressive, some go sympathetic, some like an apology, and some (like me) really dislike having too much attention drawn to it.

Sometimes I'll correct people in casual, safe social situations, like if I'm hanging out with friends of friends - but even that's rare, it's more likely that they either notice somebody else calling me 'he' and catch on, or my friends correct them for me. Sometimes I correct people in "official" situations, like when somebody on the phone says "Can I speak to Mr [awesome name]?" and I say "That's me!" because I've no other choice (and even those aren't definites, like I've actually said "Sorry, he's not in right now!" on a call to my MOBILE PHONE to get out of dealing with it). If I can avoid correcting, I will - I don't correct plumbers who look temporarily confused at the name on the form before they decide that they aren't paid enough to care, I don't correct doctors who literally have my medical records right in front of them (my brain just goes "They're probably having a rough day, it's a rough job, this has nothing to do with me, I'll let it slide" - it's not empathy, I have no clue if they're actually stressed, I'm just like "If I convince myself that they are then I'll feel better").

In fact, I once had a very long phone call for a bill or something where I tried to correct the person on the other end, they didn't believe me, I tried again, they still didn't, and eventually they came to the conclusion that "my dad" had given me the answers to the security questions so that I could pretend to be him while he was passed out drunk. I was so fed up that I just went with it, and because I had the answers to the security questions it didn't really matter, they had to allow my fictional seven year-old daughter to take the call. I ended up pretending to be my own non-existent child, who was failing at pretending to be me.

Another time, a transphobe decided to protest my pronouns in an LGBT+ group that I volunteered at, by interrupting anyone who said "he" and incorrecting it to "she" - my friends and strangers alike. It was annoying more than anything, like, people were trying to have a casual conversation and they kept getting interrupted and sidetracked into dumb arguments, regardless of whether I was even there that day. I don't think I ever responded to it, I don't think I had ever even corrected him in the first place. I would just blank him, but my friends would bite the bait and try to defend me... in the end, that just gave him what he wanted.

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I'm not very confrontational - I prefer to either remind myself of why that person's opinion doesn't matter, or talk myself into believing that the person doesn't have any ill intentions behind the misgendering, rather than making an effort that (for me) costs more than it pays.

So, with that in mind, my advice for you is that there's always another possible reason that somebody misgendered you - a slip-up, stress, tiredness, they've got a lisp and they actually are saying the other pronoun and somehow you can't notice it on any other word... I'm pretty good at convincing myself that it isn't personal. Maybe getting into the mindset that "misgendering = mistake" and out of the mindset that "misgendering = transphobia" could help make it easier for you not to feel afraid, and thus make it easier for you to feel comfortable correcting people - more often than not, it is just an honest mistake. It's very contextual, but there's almost always other behaviours or a pattern to the misgendering, an overt maliciousness, in cases of transphobia - a couple of instances of potentially accidental misgendering don't mean anything, and it no more indicates transphobia than calling a zebra a giraffe by mistake indicates hatred of zebras.

I think it comes down to assessing the situation, asking yourself "Is this worth it? Am I ever going to see this person again?" and then asking yourself "Is this a conversation that I want to start with a correction, or do I want to bring it up separately?" - a twenty-something at a party is probably open-minded enough that "Oh it's 'he'!" will be met with "Okay, cool!" and that'll be that, but your grandma might need a gentler approach the first time. If they already know, and it's just them slipping into old habits, ask yourself "Is it worth interrupting this conversation, or should I let this one slide and then bring it up at a later date if it keeps happening?" - if it's a casual chat with a sentence or two each, then it's easy to add in just a "he" without ruining the flow or seeming impolite, but if they're sobbing in your arms as they tell you the story of a tragic argument that they had then it's probably best to let that one slide. You know what I mean?

Like, I try to treat it the same as I would treat them saying "for all intensive purposes" instead of "for all intents and purposes" - and that way, if I don't correct them then in my head it's just a grammatical error that I didn't correct, it doesn't mean anything.

Most people aren't transphobic, like the most likely reaction for you to get will be "Okay" in a variation of tones... sometimes it's "Okay!" sometimes it's "Ooookaaaay".

Think of it this way: If somebody walked up to you in public and said "I am a self-confessed transphobe, I hate those transgenders, they are terrible." would you start yelling at them, would you harass them, or would you just be like "Ooookaaaay"? People don't tend to kick off or act ridiculous, in person at least, regardless of how they feel or how much they hate you. There's a really small chance that the person actually has a negative opinion of trans people in the first place, but even if they do then they're not going to attack you, they'll just say an exaggerated "Ooookaaaay" or maybe raise their eyebrows.

Sure, there are some people out there who will be shitty and rude - a really tiny proportion of people who just have no personality and rely on making everybody around them uncomfortable to validate their "I have the unpopular opinion and that means that I'm right" complex. Those people don't deserve a second of your attention or any of your happiness, just blank them. They just want attention, they want to get a reaction out of you, they want to wind somebody up - apathy hurts dickheads more than anything, just count to ten and remind yourself that their opinion of you should mean as little to you as my opinion of The Queen means to her. Let it slide, and give your energy and attention to those who earn it.

At the end of the day, it's better to focus on the good, to encourage the good. You should be surrounded by people who respect you for who you are and refer to you as you want to be referred to - it's what you want, it's what you deserve - find those people, spend time with those people, and feel free to cut out anybody who responds cruelly to a polite correction. Politely correcting people who care about you is helping them to be able to help you, helping them treat you how they want to treat you.

Remind yourself that the people in your life love you, the people who deserve to be in your life love you, that they want to refer to you correctly, but that people can't learn if you allow them to keep repeating the mistakes without even pointing them out. You wouldn't let a child keep ending sentences with commas, you'd tell them each time they did it and say "You need to put a full stop there" - that's all you're doing when you correct these people.

They might struggle, they might need reminding a lot - just be gentle, polite, patient, and understanding.

TL;DR - don't put so much weight on it, don't mentally view misgendering as a sign of transphobia, there are so many reasons that it could have happened and everybody makes mistakes, it's just a grammatical error, most people aren't transphobic, people tend to conceal their feelings and behave appropriately even if they are, the people who love you want to learn and you're just helping them do so, but you possibly asked the wrong person because I literally allowed someone to think that I was a neglectful alcoholic father to avoid the hassle of continuing to correct them.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon #when I say 'family' I mean the handful of family and family friends that I still talk to #my family and history is pretty complicated #sorry that this isn't the best advice but I hope that something in it was useful #also I'm sorry I'm tired and not wording great

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missmentelle · 7 years

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Thirteen Reasons Why Not

Let’s talk about Thirteen Reasons Why.

I work with high-risk inner city youth for a living, many of whom are constantly suicidal, and most of whom have lost at least one person to suicide. Lately, all that any of them can talk about is “13 Reasons Why”. And it hasn’t been a good thing - for a whole bunch of reasons I’m about to describe.

“13 Reasons Why”, welcome to your post.

Before I get started, I want to be the first person to acknowledge that there are a lot of things that 13 Reasons gets right. It’s one of the first shows that really drives home how achingly, painfully soul-crushing it is to be a teenage girl. Looks are everything, and getting a bad reputation - even a bad reputation based on complete lies - can be difficult to overcome. The show’s male characters often treat the female characters as living dolls, and face very few repercussions for their actions - something that’s unfortunately all too real. If this was a show about sexual assault, I would say that they did a pretty great job. But it’s not. It’s a show about suicide.

In keeping with the show, there are 13 things in particular that I think the show gets wrong. This is me, coming at this from the perspective of a mental health professional who works with teens every day. I’m also taking information from the Canadian Mental Health Association, the Centre for Suicide Prevention, the American Association of Suicidology, the National Association of School Psychologists and the Society of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, all of which have criticized the show. You might disagree, and that’s totally fine. Spoilers ahead, and content warnings for frank discussions of suicide and mental health:

1. It is messed up to present suicide as “revenge” In the real world, when people commit suicide, they do it to end their pain. When Hannah Baker dies, she does it to get revenge on everyone who’s wronged her. She doesn’t leave behind notes to help her grieving parents understand what happened, and ease their pain - instead, she spends her last days painstakingly planning an elaborate scheme to get revenge on the people who wronged her. In some cases, she instructs people to harass them after she’s gone. And it works. The people on the show are ruined - their lives are consumed by guilt, they are investigated by the courts, relationships crumble, and they turn to drugs and alcohol to cope. Her suicide, and the tapes that come with it, are the ultimately revenge on everyone who ever slighted her, and that’s a pretty messed up thing to show a struggling teenager, especially because the show makes no effort to tell us that Hannah made a mistake or went too far - it all works out just how she wanted it.

2. The show definitely glamorizes suicide

In life, Hannah Baker was an awkward, bullied and lonely teenage girl. In death, she’s some kind of mythical creature. Instead of becoming an empty space in her friends’ lives, she becomes a universal presence - she’s everywhere, continuing to influence an entire town from beyond the grave. And whenever Clay pictures her, she’s not the sad, cowering girl with the chopped hair - she’s beautiful, confident, with long, flowing locks intact. In life, Hannah struggled to make connections with other people, but in death, she has deep conversations and strides confidently down the bleachers at the school dance to meet Clay. Even the one time Clay pictures her corpse, she’s beautifully arranged on the basketball court in a long white gown, slashed wrists at her sides, hair flowing around her like Ophelia from a bad rendition of Hamlet. It’s a much more glamorous moment than anything the real-life Hannah achieved, and it’s textbook glamorization. I understand that the hallucinations Clay has of Hannah are the result of his love for her, but they also send a darker message. The show implies that the living Hannah would have struggled and stumbled forever. Dead Hannah is perfect, beautiful and immortal. She never says the wrong thing or ruins relationships. In fact, “being dead” is pretty much Hannah’s only character trait - we don’t really know much about her dreams, likes, dislikes, hobbies or desires. Being dead is the most interesting about her, and that’s pretty messed up. On top of that, the way the show strings you along, tape-by-tape, you quickly forget that Hannah is a “real” person who had died young and tragically. She becomes nothing more than a puzzle to be solved, an amusing mystery to be unraveled. Pretty quickly, “What happened at Jessica’s party” becomes much more interesting than the reality that a child is dead, and her suicide loses the kind of weight that a suicide should carry. 3. That suicide scene is way, way too much

Suicide contagion is a thing. After highly public suicides or mentions of suicide in the media, there is almost always a spike in suicides in the general population. When Marilyn Monroe’s death was officially ruled a “probable suicide”, the USA saw a freaking 12% jump in suicides that month. At least 5% of teen suicides are “copycat suicides”, and can be at least partially attributed to seeing suicide in the media. There are well-researched guidelines for preventing copycat suicides - don’t mention the cause of death, don’t show the cause of death, don’t imply that suicide is an escape - and 13 Reasons Why pretty much takes a steaming dump all over those guidelines with Hannah’s suicide scene. We know that Hannah died by suicide. That’s the point of the show. It’s mentioned over and over and over again. The show doesn’t gain anything by telling us exactly how Hannah carried out her suicide, and it definitely doesn’t gain anything by making us watch her do it. It doesn’t add to the story, develop her character, or advance the plot. It’s just three minutes of emotion porn. 4. The half-hour debrief at the end of the show doesn’t cut it

One of the big defenses of the show is that it ends with a short episode called 13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons, where the cast and crew discuss mental health, suicide and ways to get help. But it’s not enough. You have to actually sit through the entire show in order to get there, and then you have to sit through that episode. For a teen in distress, it’s just not enough - the show would have been much better off presenting quick resources at the start and end of each episode, especially the ones with disturbing content. 5. The people who suffer the most in the show aren’t her tormentors

Some of the people on 13 Reasons Why were genuinely garbage people - most notably her rapist, Bryce - and Hannah’s tapes allow her to get a little bit of revenge. But at the end of the day, Bryce isn’t the one who suffers the most; he’s still popular, he still has parents with deep pockets, and with his accuser unable to take the witness stand, he will almost definitely not face any rape charges. Who does suffer the most? Clay. And Jessica. And Alex. These characters are tormented by their role in Hannah’s death, to the point that they (spoiler alert) become obsessed with her and risk criminal charges, develop a serious alcohol addiction and attempt suicide, respectively. The people Hannah got revenge on weren’t her biggest tormentors. They were the closest thing she had to friends. 6. Hannah’s death is objectively better than her life

As I mentioned before, in life, Hannah was awkward and struggled to make connections. She worked a bullshit, degrading job, went to a bullshit, degrading high school, and dealt with bullshit, degrading things. In death, she doesn’t have to deal with any of that. She has an entire town wrapped around her little finger. The show hints that Hannah actually had very supportive, loving parents, but we don’t really see a lot of that - mostly, we see all the crap that she had to deal with, and how it’s magically gone now that she’s dead. Ultimately, there are very few downsides to Hannah’s death - and the fact that she constantly appears and speaks on screen makes it easy for forget that she’s even dead at all. 7. No one is “to blame” for a suicide

The show makes one thing explicitly clear - the people on the tapes are to blame for Hannah’s suicide. It’s their fault. They killed her, in their own ways. But that’s a really fucked-up thing to tell a teenage audience, or any audience at all. Millions of people around the world will lose friends, siblings, children, parents, colleagues, neighbours or loved ones to suicide. It happens every single day. Some of the people who die by suicide were dealing with shitty situations like Hannah Baker’s, and some of them didn’t have anything outwardly wrong in their lives. Either way, in the wake of a suicide, everyone who loved the person is consumed by guilt - should I have said something I didn’t? Should I have done something? Could I have been a better friend? It’s one of the hardest times in anyone’s lives, and for many people, that guilt never, ever goes away. Having an entire generation of teenagers form their ideas about suicide from a TV show that tells them “Yep, if your friend kills themselves, it’s definitely your fault and you totally could have prevented it” is messed up. It’s not true. And it’s not right. 8. Most of the people on the tapes can’t be held responsible

Some people on the tapes were awful. Horrible. They did unforgivable, illegal things to Hannah. But some of the people on the tapes weren’t. They were just scared kids making bad decisions, which is what kids do, and they don’t deserve to feel like Hannah’s death is on their heads. Jessica didn’t drift away from Hannah because she was a horrid, evil person who wanted Hannah to die; she was an overwhelmed, self-conscious kid who got caught up in a very adult situation she couldn’t deal with. Same with Alex. Same with Courtney. Same with Zach. Same with Ryan. Same with Jenny. These kids all made huge mistakes, but that’s what kids do. They make stupid, selfish mistakes sometimes. It’s part of growing up. And no kid watching the show needs to be told that their stupid, selfish mistakes totally mean that they’re responsible for their friends’ mental health issues and death, and that it should haunt them for the rest of their lives. 9. In life, Hannah was difficult to be around

The second episode of the show is devoted to Jessica - Hannah feels that her suicide was caused, at least in part, by Jessica failing to show up for their weekly coffee dates and drifting away from Hannah. Clay also gets a little dig for snapping at Hannah after Jeff’s death, and for walking away from Hannah... when she told him to go away. I think the show was trying to say “be there for your friends, because you don’t know if they might be going through a hard time”. But the message I got out of it was “don’t ever, ever drift away from anyone, no matter what’s going on in your life, because if something bad happens to them, it’ll be all your fault”.

But the show absolutely refuses to acknowledge one crucial thing - in life, Hannah was sometimes difficult to be around. She could be rude. She could be abrasive. She could be flippant and dismissive and dramatic, just like every other teenager alive. She was dealing with a lot of things, but so were her friends, and they had a right to cut her out of their lives if they found her too difficult to deal with or didn’t have the energy to devote to her. The show sends a strong message that you should never let go of any friendship, ever, but that’s not how real life works. Sometimes, you just need a break from someone, and you have every right to take one without feeling responsible for what happens to them. 10. Can we talk about mental illness? Even once?

Mental illness and suicide are too intertwined to separate. The show presents suicide like bad thing + bad thing + bad thing = suicide, but it’s a lot more complicated than that. Some people endure similar, or even worse things than Hannah Baker did, and they never take their own lives. Some kids don’t endure even a fraction of what Hannah did, and they do take their own lives. Instead of teaching kids that their friends’ mental health problems are all their fault because they drifted apart in the 10th grade, the show squandered a prime opportunity to talk about depression and the way it affects teenagers. Honest conversations about mental health are so desperately needed. Even if Hannah Baker the character blamed her friends and didn’t acknowledge her depression, the show could have gone another direction. But it doesn’t. 11. You’re never “too far gone” to live

One of the most toxic ideas that the teens I work with have taken from the show is that, at some point, you can be “too far gone” to keep going. Many of them had the same reaction to the show - that there was nothing that could have saved Hannah. She had been sexually assaulted, she had been shamed, she was having difficulties at school, and she had been bullied, and all those things could not possibly add up to anything other than a suicide. Hannah herself makes this point in her final tape. She hits a point where she doesn’t believe anything could save her, and the show accepts this. But that’s not how suicide works. Nine out of ten people who make a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide. No one is ever “too damaged” to go on, even if they have made up their minds to die by suicide. And that’s a lesson that gets missed. 12. Seriously, most counselors aren’t that useless

If I acted like the counselor on that show, I would lose my job. Instantly. I understand that it’s part of the plot, that Hannah happens to land in the office of one of the world’s most incompetent counselors, and that he becomes part of her tapes, and one of the people who failed her. But seriously... most counselors are not this useless. Everything Hannah did and said in his office at the end was an enormous, 8-foot red flag, and anyone even halfway competent would have picked up on it, and at least asked her if she was feeling suicidal. I have been the counselor in that situation many, many times before, and it ends with the hurting teenager getting resources and help they need, not getting dismissed. If you are suicidal or depressed and the show has discouraged you from going to your school counselor, I beg you to reconsider. They are there to help. I promise. 13. Life goes on after Hannah’s death The events of 13 Reasons Why take place over the course of an entire school year, which is what makes it so weird that the show neglects one hugely important aspect of suicide prevention - highlighting all of the important, amazing things that Hannah is missing out on because she has died. She misses getting dressed up for Halloween with Clay. She misses Christmas morning with her family. She misses out on movies, concerts, hugs, laughter, time with her parents, school dances, learning to drive, college, new friends, her first apartment, and all the other experiences her friends will get to have without her. Clay dismisses things like college as unimportant, but they’re not. Hannah had a whole life waiting for her that she will never get to live, full of new people and adventures she will never get to experience. By neglecting to show that at all, the show is just reinforcing what Hannah already believed; that she was too far gone to save, that there was nothing out there for her, and that death is a far better fate for her than living. I know it might not seem like it, but at the end of the day, I don’t think “13 Reasons Why” was a bad show. I don’t think it was made in bad faith. Shows about suicide are a minefield, and there are so few out of them out there that the creators of these one were pretty much navigating uncharted territory. And I’m not saying that people shouldn’t watch the show. But as a mental health professional - and after reading material about the show written by more educated and experienced mental health professionals - I think it’s important to watch with a critical eye. 13 Reasons Why may have raised awareness about suicide, but they also glamorized, desensitized and spread misconceptions about suicide, whether they wanted to or not. In the month since the show came out, teen suicidal behaviour and at least one copycat suicide was reported. It’s important to question the things we see, especially when they deal with such a difficult topic. If you’re struggling, tell someone. Get help. You have every reason why.

#depression #Suicide #missmentelle #13 reasons why #mental health #mental disorder #mental illness

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thestraggletag · 7 years

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The Offering, a Bellish May Day Fic

Giftee: @applejackcat

Summary: Lochdubh is the quintessential Scottish town, which often meant nosy townspeople, a few rowdy locals and more fires than a constable could put off in a day. But it had never meant being incapacitated, stripped down and left in the forest to appease some non-existent spirit.

Yet.

AN: So sorry for the wait, giftee/Zookeeper! What started as a much simpler story devolved into something much more complicated that I had to later wrestle into a short story. I hope you like it!

Written for the @maydaymenagerie exchange of 2017.

It started with a few sheep, and later three pigs and a cow. Dead as doornails for no reason, at least none the vet could find. No signs of an animal attack, or traces of poisoning, though the animals had been burned after a thorough examination just in case. Since all the animals were from different farms and none of the farmers could find motive to believe it being intentional Hamish suspected some local was up to no good involving chemicals and the animals had died of poisoning of some sort. It was unusual for some prank or crazy scheme to have such drastic consequences but he wouldn't be too shocked either if he sooner or later found one or both McCrae's behind the whole thing.

After the animals came the rain. Though Lochdubh was no stranger to the weather phenomenon- it always seemed to either be raining or about to- no one had seen it fall in such magnitude. By the end of March, it had rained in three months the same amount as the whole of the year before, and the resulting floods had caused all manner of losses and damages. Hamish himself counted at least three leaks in the living room and two in his own bedroom, one conveniently located right above his pillow. It didn't help the situation that wee Jock was determined to jump onto every mud puddle they came across. He was considering letting all the grime and muck crust over so the little mutt would be forced to shuffle around like that.

But the physical damages were nothing compared to what the rain did to people. For some reason, he could not quite figure out every resident seemed to think raining was some sort of crime and therefore fell under his jurisdiction. It became commonplace to be stopped on the street or harassed at the pub regarding something water-related. Soon enough it was almost impossible for him to get any peace and quiet anywhere outside his house except for the library, and it was mainly because the residents of Lochdubh were convinced it was haunted. For one it was located near the woods, almost outside the town limit, and that alone was enough to scare most locals away. Like most places in Scotland the forest ripe with lore and local tall tales of nature spirits and sacred trees, guardian goddesses both unimaginably kind and terrifyingly cruel.

It didn't help either that the library had once been part of a monastery and was likely the oldest building in the village, its sad, grey stone walls covered in ivy. It looked, for all intents and purposes, like a prime haunting location, the kind spirits would fight over to inhabit. The interior was a bit disappointing, with a utilitarian use of the space, old library furniture and a modest collection of books. Not even the librarians were spooky. Mrs Aldridge, who had retired a few months ago, looked like everyone's favourite grandmother, down to the annoying habit of pinching everyone's cheeks without reason or warning (Hamish wasn't too proud to admit to having more than once crossed the street to avoid the lovable old bat). The new Librarian was even less impressive, a little mousy slip of a person, short and nondescript, most of her face hidden by big, old-fashioned glasses that made her look like an overgrown owl. Her choice of nondescript brown/beige clothing and the muddy shade of her lanky hair didn't help either.

Strangely enough even though Lochdubh was not the kind of town to get new residents all too often no one had made much of a fuss about little Miss Caill. She had moved in with very little fanfare and almost no attention whatsoever, as if people barely registered at all. Hamish himself could attest to the fact that he hadn't noticed her about the village at all, which seemed odd. Lochdubh was almost painfully small, after all. But somehow he'd managed to only have a very vague idea of her presence in town until one night, when the heavy rains had just begun, when he'd chanced upon her on the side of the road, making her way from the library to the pub, most likely. He'd almost passed her, small and insignificant as she seemed.

He'd offered her a lift, smarting a bit at seeing the shocked look on her face. He was a respectable constable, it rankled a bit that she would think a small gesture of gallantry surprising. She'd barely said a peep during the short ride, though he'd sensed her looking at him, as if trying to figure him out.

Curiously after that first incident he'd noticed her more around town, as if she'd been invisible before and now was allowing him to catch glimpses of her. He'd tip his hat at her, giving her a charming little smile and after a while she'd smile in reply, delightfully shy in a way that put a spring on his step. It was a pity no one else in town seemed to notice her much, Belle was truly one of a kind. Kind, for one, the sort of compassion that shone through the eyes, blue and warm, and unbelievable curious. She said nothing whenever he'd take refuge in the library to escape the nagging of the town, and seemed to find his passion for detective novels endearing.

After a while he got used to her rather unique appearance, finding her more charming that ugly. The overly-large clothing only accentuated how wee she was and the glasses looked rather adorable on her, highlighting her rather impressible blue eyes. The more he thought about it the more he decided it'd be wise to keep an eye on the little librarian. Soon enough others would notice her proper and come sniffing at her skirts, which could easily turn into a spot of trouble. She looked so... innocent in many ways. As if the world was new to her. Since she didn't go into town much, and feeling like he imposed on her far too much, he had taken to taking little treats with him when he visited, which they would eat in a corner of the deserted Ancient History section as if they were naughty little school children sneaking food into the library under the nose of some matronly librarian. Often during those times something about the way Belle behaved, especially when he'd thought to bring ice-cream, seemed off, almost as if she was tasting things for the first time.

Other times, however, there was something very old about her. Not in appearance, since every time he saw her she seemed to get younger rather than older, but in spirit. An old soul, TV John would say, old and powerful. He had a strange sort of reverence for the Librarian, treated her with a level of respect that seemed almost too much. Still, TV John was amongst the last sane people in Lochdubh, specially once the rumour got around that there were no animals in the forest. No one had seen a rabbit or a fox for days and some, the most outrageous ones, claimed there were no birds either.

It was then that Lachlan McCrae Jr got roaring drunk at the pub, climbed atop a table and confessed to anyone who could understand his drunken ramblings that he'd accidentally crashed his motorcycle against the old druid stone ruins in the forest. They weren't much, certainly nothing to help attract tourism. Just a small stone altar, crudely made and covered in moss and ivy. And now, according to Lachie, a pile of rubbish, as was his precious bike. It was that discovery that turned the covert, whispered conversations about the supernatural into open, heated debates, with most people convinced something magical was afoot but disagreed on the who or what. Some people ranted about druid practices, about deities and the like. Others spoke of fairies and nymphs, and those older of forest spirits, one of which inhabited the woods. The breaking of the altar, once a gift of the town to this... being, had caused it to curse the village in retribution and there would be no peace in Lochdubh till things were made right again.

Hamish hadn't taken the town talk seriously once it turned towards the magical. He'd ignored it at first, thought it unimportant. But it didn't really surprise him much to find fireman Peter walking home in the early morning stark naked but for a small towel he clutched tightly across his hips, weird symbols painted with some sort of ashy substance on his skin. The poor sod, shaking from head to toe with cold, stuttered some excuse about it all being Lachie's idea- like Hamish needed to be told that- and scurried away. He wisely decided not to give chase, not very eager to arrest him for public indecency or have him half-naked inside his newly-washed patrol car. TV John later told him that he'd heard some boys at the pub some time before talking about old rituals, Celtic stuff they'd gotten from the internet about May Kings, virile men offered to appease forest deities. Since the smashed stone structure had broken the pact the original people of Lochdubh had made with the deity they thought another offering, of pleasing flesh, would do the trick. Hamish rather thought it a horrible idea, not even because magic didn't fucking exist, but rather because Peter wasn't exactly fighting women off with a stick. Thank God magic wasn't real or otherwise they'd be getting hail from an overly-pissed spirit rather than simply rain.

Just in case, however, he went over to the library to check things out, skimming through books of Celtic lore while he talked to Belle about old movies. She talked about films like she'd just discovered them at all and was enthusiastic about anything with Bette Davies on. He ended up renting Now Voyager just so he could talk to her about it and had to hide it from TV John, lest he imply something that wasn't. Just because he found the librarian pretty, something beautiful hidden in layers of ill-fitting clothing and comical glasses, didn't mean he was looking for something to happen between them. So he thought about her often, of course he would. He spent more and more time in the library, it was natural for her to become an important part of his life. And sure, he sometimes fantasised about her, wondering what her blue eyes would look like half-lidded and liquid, what her mouth and hair would feel like. But that just meant he was a healthy adult man with the accompanying urges.

He was sure Belle didn't see him that way anyway. She was lonely and was grateful for a friend and it was better to leave it at that. Women and him didn't mix well, at least not in the romantic sense. And there was something so... other, about her. Like she was somehow just out of his reach, like she belonged elsewhere. She was a fascinating friend, nothing more. Someone that made life a little bit more interesting, that cut through the dullness of his routine and made him look forward to things.

It didn't seem worth thinking about it at all, especially since he was too busy dealing with the rain and the town and the general madness that had taken over everyone. Too busy to think about much else or to pay attention to more mundane things. Too busy to be suspicious when Lachlan Sr left a bottle of fine Scotch on the station's doorstep, a gift for "May Day". And certainly too busy to notice the strange aftertaste of it. A few minutes later he was asleep to notice much of anything else.

"Kidnapping a police officer is serious business, Lachie, are you even sure it's gonna work?"

"Look, a police constable has got to be a good enough offering. Seems to have taken a liking to Macbeth in any case, it's worth a shot."

The voices faded away a bit after that and for a moment there was bliss in the silence. Though it was difficult to string thoughts together Hamish tried hard to piece what had happened to him. He raised his sluggish hands to his face, sensing something pressing against it. It felt hard, a mask of some sort, covering half of his face, with horns protruding from it. Everything else felt disturbingly bare, though his skin itched around his hips. Patting the area, he found that he was wearing some sort of kilt, new and stiff, like the ones sold at the local tourist gift shop.

His head felt heavy and light at the same time and everything around him seemed to be moving, spinning in dizzying circles. Whatever they had given him had his blood boiling and his adrenaline pumping, as if preparing for a fight or some other form of exertion. Though the woods must have been freezing he felt hot all over, either from the drugs or the bonfires surrounding him. Dimly he thought of the very real possibility one of them could end up burning the whole forest down. He tried standing up but his legs wobbled and soon dropped him on his ass, and even the thick wool of the damn tourist-trap kilt didn't help soften the blow, though he barely felt it. The almost pungent smell of rosemary wasn't helping his efforts to clear his head. Rather it seemed to numb him even more, till he could barely feel the horned mask that at first had been so fucking cumbersome.

At some point, he lay back down, humming in delight at the cool softness of the moss beneath him. It wasn't that bad, really, just a spot of involuntary camping. In the morning TV John would come pick him up, hopefully bringing some of his clothes with him, and he'd proceed to meticulously and ruthlessly ruin everything the Lachies and their cronies loved. Perhaps he could convince Agnes and Barney never to serve them anything stronger than Earl Grey for a month. It'd be fun to rub their noses on a cold pint of Guinness.

"Constable?"

It was unsettling, for a brief moment, to hear a voice after so much silence. He startled, hoisting himself up and moving his head to one side and then the other, as if the stag mask didn't completely blind him to everything around him. He tensed, suddenly aware of his vulnerability. He wished above all for his uniform, not because he was half-naked in the woods but because it brought him confidence, it made him feel almost invincible, like he was nothing he couldn't do, no problem he couldn't solve.

"Who's there?"

He felt a soft, almost whispery touch down his arm and then someone was taking his hand, helping him up. He stumbled upright like a new-born colt, or a man more than in his cups.

"Shh, it's alright. It's only me."

The scent of wildflowers reached his nose, making him instantly relax.

"Belle."

His owlish little librarian had tracked him down, thank God. At last the one sane person in the crazy fucking town he called home sweet home was there to end the madness. He tightened his hold on her small, delicate hand. She was such a wee thing, small and dainty. And she smelt so good...

"Constable? Constable!"

"Call me Hamish."

He was feeling incredibly mellow, all of a sudden. Happy. Like he didn't have the weight of an entire deluded town on his shoulders. Like he was wobbling semi-starkers in the middle of the bleeding woods because he felt like it and not because he had been fucking kidnapped in the middle of the night. Like he couldn't find better use for his fingers than ghosting them along the supple flesh of the librarian's inner arms.

"You don't seem alright, Hamish. Do you need help?"

Did he? A minute ago it seemed like it but now he was feeling perfect. Belle always had that pacifying-yet-electrifying effect on him, calming him down while at the same time filling him with a strange sort of restlessness. A bit like he was itching all over, eagerness humming softly through him, low but ever-present. He traced a path from her hands to her shoulders, frowning when he didn't encounter a scrap of fabric on the way.

"Did the little pricks drag you here too? Did they fucking undress you? Because I'll fucking kill them, cut them in teeny-tiny pieces and feed them to wee Jock if they did, I swear to-"

Her hands cupped the lower half of his faced, bared by the mask, and she pressed her thumbs softly over his lips, cutting off his diatribe.

"I'm here for you. Do you want me here, Hamish?"

On the back of his mind his skillfully-honed police instincts were screaming at him, telling him in no uncertain terms that something was off. But it was hard to find in himself to care. Everything smelled so good and Belle felt so soft under his hands. She no longer shied from his touch, no longer seemed interested in keeping that last bit of distance that was always between them. There was nothing to do but to nod enthusiastically and sigh when her fingers delved into his cropped hair.

"And what do you want me to do?"

His rational side, sputtering and on its last legs, supplied a long list of things. They needed to get him some clothes, douse the fucking fire and go home. Find out what the hell those little cunts had given him. Make them pay. But above all go home, and sleep this whole night off. Instead he found himself leaning forward and, blindly, kissing her. Far from pushing him away and slapping him, the sensible response, she pulled him closer, her arms wrapping around his naked shoulders and a mouth-watering little sigh escaping her lips. She took control almost at once and he let her, more than happy to allow her to completely devour him. She was almost feral, rough and bruising and completely fucking perfect. He clung to her as tightly as he could, splaying his hands across her thinly-covered back and letting out the neediest little moans he'd ever heard.

At some point, in between the savage kissing and the undignified groping, he found himself back again on the mossy forest floor, with Belle sucking on the spot where his right shoulder met his neck. He was too far gone by that point, barely noticing when kissing turn to biting and the tips of her nails began to carve patterns into his chest and arms. The pain only added to the euphoria of the moment, turned the pleasure bittersweet and heightened it at the same time. His clever fingers dipped low to feel her upper thighs, as smooth as marble and as cold as ever. When he stumbled across the hem of what felt like a sundress or a nightgown he pulled it up impatiently, managing to wrestle it off her without much problem. He was quick to claim his reward, moving his hands to grasp her hips, dip into her waist, flutter across her tummy and finally cup her breasts, as perfect as he'd often found himself picturing them beneath layers of shapeless clothing.

Abruptly Belle released him altogether and scampered away, giggling as he protested loudly. Instead of ripping the mask off to give chase he chose to let his hearing guide him, the sport warming his already hot blood and making him grin maniacally. They laughed like little kids as he clumsily hunted around for her, his fingers grazing skin or a lock of hair before she was out of his reach again. It felt as if she was almost guiding him somewhere, like a siren weaving her spell on a hopeless sailor. And he couldn't find it in himself to care.

Finally, he managed to hook an arm around her waist and send her crashing into his chest. She felt warmer, strangely, as if she'd drunk some of the heat in his veins from his lips, as if she was absorbing it from his skin and into hers. When she captured his mouth again he gave himself to her willingly, eagerly, raking his blunt nails down her sides and grabbing her by the back of her thighs, all the encouragement she needed to wrap her legs around his torso. The added weight made him stumble forward till something- a tree most likely- broke their fall. Propping her up against it he found it easier to manoeuvre the tip of one of her breasts into his mouth. Her hiss of delight made his cock twitch in eager anticipation.

She was divine. Small and dainty but fierce and completely in control, taking from him what he was only too eager to give. Her hands did not tremble as they undid the buckles of his ridiculous kilt, nor when they grasped his erection, guiding it to the entrance of her sex.

"Do you offer yourself to me, Hamish?"

Fuck, she was talking. It took him a moment or two to try and make sense of what she'd said, at which point all he could do was nod enthusiastically, groaning in utter relief as she allowed his cock to sink into the heavenly warmth of her cunt. It felt as if a shock passed through him, something powerful and unsettling. But a moment later he was thrusting into her, his ears ringing with her mewls and delightful cries. Every one of his senses was full of her, his skin prickling all over with an awareness of her that was almost uncanny. The moment seemed to stretch for hours, as impossible as that was, and Hamish could've sworn dawn was breaking when he finally felt her flutter around his cock, bringing him finally to release.

A minute later, or several, he found himself somehow back on the clearing in the forest, the bonfires dimmed to nothing but burning coals and Belle wrapped snugly against him.

"You've pleased me well, my King. Now rest, darling, rest. It's all done now."

"Rough night, eh, Hamish?"

Constable Macbeth was greeted by an array of jeers and catcalls. He stoically pretended not to hear any of it, making a show of talking to TV John to make it clear he was not paying attention. Barney greeted him with a pint of beer and a slap of the back.

"It's on the house, lad. You took one for the team, it's the least we could do."

Never in all his years in service had Barney given him as much as a glass of water on the house. The gesture itself left him too speechless to reply. On the booth next to him TV John whistled, impressed.

"That's a first."

Hamish could scarcely take the first sip of his glass before someone else vigorously clapped his back, making the scratches there sting like hell. One by one it seemed every man in Lochdubh was dead-set on showing him some gesture of male camaraderie and, strangely, sympathy. They brought with them snacks, cigars and other small gifts.

"It must have not been easy, but you pushed on and came through." Lachlan Sr patted his shoulder forcefully, making him bite back a howl when his hand made contact with the bite mark there. "It's all over now, lad, you did good."

He shot him one last pitiful look before ambling back to his seat to high-five his son, who flashed Hamish a thumb's up when their eyes crossed.

"Fucking barmy. What do they think, that they can butter me up and I'll pretend they didn't kidnap and drug a police officer?"

"Well, the way they see it your impressive manhood appeased the cailleach and saved the town. Quite a feat, really."

"Don't tell me you believe those sods too. The rain had to stop, it just happened to coincide with the day after my unwilling nature walk. And with the rain over of course all the little critters start to reappear, there's nothing fucking supernatural about it. And what the hell is a cailleach?"

"A hag. Vengeful spirits that can take the form of old crones, or ugly women. So, you see, the way they see it you just made a great sacrifice for this town. It certainly calls for a bit of buttering up, some well-deserved pampering at the least."

"What?!"

"Well, it was Lachie Jr that figured it out and you know his reading comprehension only gets him so far. No sense in trying to explain the nuances of Celtic folklore to him or anyone else that listened to him, the complex nature of spirits and deities. I tried, believe me, but nobody wanted to listen. It's all most complicated than that, you know?"

The door of the pub swung open and though Hamish had his back to it he could immediately tell who had walked through it. He nodded distractedly at TV John, making a vague sound to signal he was engrossed in the conversation even as his eyes and most of his attention, focused on her.

"Well, hags are complicated figures in lore. Some say kind, guardian spirits and vengeful hags are but two sides of the same coin. There are tales of deities turned into hags to wander amongst mankind, ignored and ill-treated. A test of worthiness, sometimes said to be passed by men in possession of a kind heart and a noble spirit, who'll prove worthy. This later became a very common figure in medieval literature, that of the loathly lady, made famous by Chaucer in his tale..."

"Belle."

She was dressed very differently than usual, a royal blue short dress paired with sky-high heels and not a cardigan or a coat in sight, though she appeared not to feel the cold. Her glasses were gone too and her hair shone just like he remembered it doing under the light of the bonfires in the forest. Her eyes, however, looked the same as they'd always been. Bright blue and overly curious, as if the world and everything in it was new to her.

"Hamish."

Suddenly he felt like a sodding pre-teen with his first crush, completely clueless. Thankfully the librarian seemed not to suffer from the same problem, looping her arms loosely about his neck and planting her lips firmly on his, a gentle kiss with a playful hint of tongue, that, embarrassingly, turned the tips of his ears red. Around him everyone was suddenly deadly quiet, not even the sound of clinking glass to be heard. Briefly glancing around he noticed the wide-eyed stares of everyone in the pub, including a rather delighted Esme and Flora, the town's main source of gossip (and knitted scarves). The Lachies were both gaping at him, their mouths almost comically open. Beside them Reverend Snow crossed himself, which Hamish thought was a bit much.

"Miss Caill... there's something different about you. New haircut?"

The librarian smiled, and for a second there was something faintly dangerous about her, not altogether human. A moment later it was gone. The constable blinked and took a swig of his ale, cursing himself for letting the craziness of the town get to him for a second. Gnomes and fairies and Scottish deities, what a load of rubbish.

"So kind of you to notice, John. How's that book on the Opium Wars going for you? I thought it was a fascinating read."

Soon both the older Scotsman and Belle were engrossed in a discussion. Too tired still to contribute Hamish contented himself with letting Belle lean on him, his arm around her waist and her hands toying with his shorn hair. When her fingers grazed the bite-mark she'd made he shivered, feeling heat pull on his lower stomach.

May Day hadn't turned out so bad after all.

#bellish #applejackcat #anyelle #mayday menagerie

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jessicakehoe · 5 years

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Aja Naomi King on Makeup as Armour, Ice Baths and Being Inspired by L’Oréal Paris’ Women of Worth

Last night on International Women’s Day, L’Oréal Paris held its third annual Women of Worth gala, which honours Canadian women who volunteer in their communities and awards them $10,000 to put towards their causes. Nominees included Nicole White who started Moon Time Sisters, a project that provides menstrual products to those with little or no access in Northern Indigenous communities, and this year’s award winner, Lynne Rosychuk, who received an additional $10,000 to help fund The Jessica Martel Memorial Foundation which supports victims of domestic violence. It was an evening filled with moving speeches and stories–and plenty of tears. No wonder last year’s host, Dame Helen Mirren, said being at the event was better than attending the Academy Awards.

Before the festivities, we sat down with this year’s host Aja Naomi King, star of How to Get Away with Murder, to talk about makeup as armour, what it means to be a woman of colour in Hollywood, and why she’s into taking ice baths.

Before hosting this year, how much did you know about the L’Oréal Paris Women of Worth program?

“I went to my first Women of Worth event two years ago in New York. You read about it and hear about it, but it’s not until you are in that room and hear [these women] talking about why they’ve made the decisions that they made to do these things [that you understand how powerful it is]. It is so overwhelming, so incredible, so inspiring. These women were like, ‘I’ve got to do something about this.’ And they did. And I think that’s what makes it so powerful.”

I read that as a child you liked to watch your mom apply her makeup before she went to work, and that she seemed to really enjoy the ritual, rather than rushing through it or looking at it simply as another step in her morning routine.

“My mother was and continues to be a working woman, and I think for her that was her me time before starting a crazy hectic day. My mother works in television, which was—and still kind of continues to be—a very male-dominated work environment. And so as a woman—especially a woman of colour—it can be a bit of battle. For her it was almost like putting on her armour. It was about finding that sense of calm within her and not letting anyone destroy that.”

How did your mother feel about you wearing makeup?

“She was never like ‘you can’t wear makeup’ or ‘you can’t talk to boys’ or things like that. She trusted me. I was a goody-two shoes. For the bulk of my formative years I was in braces and glasses. My mom was like ‘you’re square and you’re a nerd. I have nothing to worry about with you.’”

What was the first beauty product you bought for yourself?

“I don’t remember the first, but I remember the thing that was the most impactful to me. I was at an age where I was really trying to explore makeup because all my friends were wearing it, and they were all looking so cute. I wanted to be able to do that too, but it was a struggle because I would buy eyeshadows and they wouldn’t show up on my skin. It was really frustrating. Then L’Oréal Paris came out with these high-intensity pigments, their HiP line [of eyeshadows and eyeliners]. I put one on and I was like ‘I can see it!’ When l think back to how that felt… I felt beautiful, and I felt like someone else thought I was beautiful, and deserved to be able to wear makeup and be included.”

You live in Los Angeles, the land of wellness. Are you into the movement?

“One of the biggest things that I’ve done for myself recently is that I don’t immediately look at my phone when I wake up in the morning. I actually have a morning with myself, instead of getting sucked into social media, email and text messages. That’s been really wonderful, to set my perspective and really key into myself. I really enjoy journaling during that time. And I love infrared saunas, with a bluetooth hook up so that I can listen to a meditation app. Lately, I’m also into ice baths. Every time I step out, there’s this feeling of renewal. Like, I can do anything!”

Knowing that your mom works in the entertainment industry, what has it been like for her to see things shift toward more inclusivity and transparency, and how do you both feel about these important changes?

“It’s been so great to see the tremendous changes over these past couple of years and the conversations that people have been having. But it has taken so long, and so many women have had to fight so hard just to get us to a place where we can be comfortable enough to really talk about things like sexual harassment and abuse, and then saying time’s up. I don’t think that would have been possible without the women who climbed to these places where no one could take their power away if they said something or supported another woman for saying something. [My mom’s experience working in television] was that she was always surrounded by white men. She had to be very comfortable being in a room with only white men, and being able to find her voice, speak up and disagree, which can be very challenging when you are afraid you might lose your job over being that one dissenting voice. We still have a ways to go in terms of making sure these boardrooms are diverse and inclusive, and that all these voices behind the camera are being heard.”

A key part of this movement is women lifting other women up. Who were some of your mentors in the industry when you were starting out?

“I loved watching Viola [Davis], Shonda [Rhimes] and Kerry [Washington] from afar, and seeing everything that they were doing. And then people who had been kind to me very randomly; my mom happened to know someone that was a friend of a friend of Angela Bassett and they asked her to call me to give me advice before I went to grad school. And she did. It was crazy! That’s why now whenever someone’s like ‘oh would you talk to my child about this, or have coffee with them,’ [I do it]. It’s so important to pass it on.”

See all the L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 nominees and their causes below:

Photography Courtesy of L’Oréal Paris

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Adeola Olubamiji

Adeola Olubamiji was the first black person to ever earn a PhD in biomedical engineering at a Canadian university. Having witnessed the lack of diversity in the STEM field first-hand, Olubamiji set out to encourage women and visible minorities to pursue the sciences as a career through STEMHub Foundation. The organization works to helps young people secure admission and scholarships to graduate and undergraduate programs through their STEM-focused mentorships opportunities and workshops.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Danielle Main

After Danielle Main found out she didn’t qualify for a service dog despite being legally blind, she decided to train her dog Pedro. It wasn’t until he successfully received his provincial guide dog certification that Main decided to found Leash of Hope, an organization that provides trained, certified service dogs to people on long wait lists or who are also considered ineligible.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Eliza Olson

Eliza Olson has been working to conserve Delta, British Columbia’s Burns Bog since 1988. The 3,000 hectares of wetland is home to 300 plant and animal species as well as 175 bird species and is responsible for the region’s water regulation. After years of devastation due to mining and farming, the bog was officially declared an Ecological Conservancy Area in 2005 and a Ramsar Wetland of International Significance in 2012 thanks to Olson’s work.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Isabelle Ducharme

Isabelle Ducharme became an activist after she was paralyzed in a car accident when she was 21. With a new understanding of the hardships people with disabilities face, Ducharme began working with the government, local businesses and tourism boards to increase accessibility through her role as the Chair of the Board of Directors for Kéroul and as a board member of the Foundation for Spinal Cord Research.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Ishita Aggarwal

Ishita Aggarwal is working to help other women see their worth. Through her non-profit Mom’s the Word, Aggarwal is helping new and expecting mothers in need by providing them with essentials like prenatal workshops, food stamps, milk coupons, bus tokens and prenatal vitamins as well as connecting them with nurses and doctors.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Katie Mahoney

Katie Mahoney was 22 when she founded her charitable organization, We Are Young. Inspired by her own grandparents, Mahoney’s work is focused on celebrating senior citizens’s accomplishments and granting their unfulfilled wishes.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Lynda Debono

Lynda Debono decided to start Sarah & Claire’s Food Drive after a conversation with her six-year-old daughter about local families who don’t have enough to eat. Ten years later, the project has become the largest community-based charity food provider for Toronto’s Daily Bread Food Bank and has raised more than 225,000 kilograms of food or 400,000 meals.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Lynne Rosychuk

In 2009, Lynne Rosychuk’s daughter Jessica was murdered by her common-law husband. Suddenly aware of the lack of resources for victims of domestic abuse in rural Alberta, Rosychuk set out to make a change through her Jessica Martel Memorial Foundation. With the primary goal of providing access to safe temporary housing and resources to people in need, the charity also helps to provide them with the opportunity and the tools to heal and continue their success after they leave the shelter.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Nicole White

When Nicole White was at university in Saskatchewan, she learned that girls in northern communities often missed school due to their periods. With a box of tampons costing up to $18 in these communities, White knew she had to do something to make menstrual products more affordable and accessible. So she founded Moon Time Sisters, which has since provided over one million pads, tampons, cloth pads and cups and raised over $10,000 for shipping costs to northern communities.

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L’Oréal Women of Worth 2019 Nominees: Toyo Ajibolade

When she was 16 years old, Toyo Ajibolade noticed a lack of accessible recreational activities for young girls in her community. In response, she started Lady Ballers Camp to provide girls from low-income households with access to free programming to develop their self-esteem and learn important leadership skills. In its six years of operation, the charity has also focused on employing and training minority youth who face discrimination in the workforce.

The post Aja Naomi King on Makeup as Armour, Ice Baths and Being Inspired by L’Oréal Paris’ Women of Worth appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Aja Naomi King on Makeup as Armour, Ice Baths and Being Inspired by L’Oréal Paris’ Women of Worth published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

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ellenlucasonlinedatingblog · 6 years

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Sexuality in Color: Respectability Politics

Let Rosa be the one; white people aren’t going to bother Rosa, they like her.

In my last Sexuality in Color post, I took some time to acknowledge some of the activists badasses that are left out of common retellings of civil rights movement. Today I’d like to elaborate on exactly why they were left out, how this happens time and time again in a modern context, and why it can be so harmful to people from marginalized communities.

Respectability politics refers to the phenomenon in which members of a marginalized community “police” their own peers, asserting that they should look, dress, act, or speak in a certain way to gain or maintain the respect of the mainstream community. (If you have a second to check out a longer definition, explanation, and contexualization, one of my favorite talks on the subject is called Black Feminism, Popular Culture, and Respectability Politics, given by Trisha Rose, a Professor of Africana Studies and Director of the Center for Study of Race and Ethnicity in America at Brown University.)

The term was coined in 2000 by Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham, in her book Righteous Discontent: The Women’s Movement in the Black Baptist Church, 1880-1920. She wrote about the women who would gather in church in order to strategize ways to combat racism and discrimination in their communities. One particular tactic, which Higginbotham termed “politics of respectability,” involved the school teachers encouraging their young black students to “integrate into middle class, white communities” so they would fit in and be distanced from negative stereotypes.

This was by far not the first time this idea of “fitting in to survive” had been put into practice — oppressed peoples have been forced to make a choice to either a) go along with the status quo, try to make the best of it, and try to “prove” their lower status assignment wrong, or b) stand up for what is right, regardless of the risk of losing respect/acknowledgement/power from those in the mainstream who might disagree.

Flash back to what Mrs. Colvin told her daughter after the incident on the bus: Let someone else do it. Rosa Parks has a higher social status and they’ll listen to her. Even the high-profile members of the NAACP said Claudette wasn’t a good candidate to be a representative in this litigation, and it’s precisely because of respectability politics that they made this decision. They were thinking about how this story would sound to the powerful majority of white folks who would read about it in the newspaper and see it on TV. They wanted the most “relatable” and “non-threatening” black person that they could find, in order to appeal to the white public and hopefully influence their litigation for the better.

Claudette was too young, too loud, too feisty, and rumored to be pregnant. (Again, she was not actually pregnant at the time, and after weeks of research I still cannot find anything about the identity of the “married man” who had sex with and impregnated a minor, which speaks volumes about how society back then viewed young women��s sexuality and bodily autonomy — and how society now views black women's bodies.) In an interview with The Guardian in 2000, Colvin talked about how her lower class status and darker skin color than Parks were a part of the decision to exclude her from the movement. In this way, her part in history and the bravery that she displayed were downplayed in favor of creating a narrative that was more palatable to the public, even for purely superficial reasons.

This concept of respectability politics, although deeply rooted in black culture and activism dating back to precolonial times, can also be applied to folks with other marginalized identities who are encouraged to exist in a certain way in order to gain basic respect or common courtesy:

Folks with disabilities or chronic illnesses who are told to “keep a positive attitude,” willingly participate in inspiration porn, or deal with rude or invasive questions and behavior in public.

Black folks who wear their hair un-altered/natural being written up at work for being “unprofessional” or sent home from school for “violating dress code.”

People with mental or psychiatric illnesses who receive support and encouragement only if they choose to do things like go to therapy consistently, take or not take medication, or limit discussing the more upsetting or disturbing aspects of their illness publicly.

Folks who are bisexual or pansexual who are made to feel that they can only be accepted if they are the “good kind” (which translates to being committed and monogamous).

Anyone whose opinion is considered to be less valid or credible because they dress, look, or talk a certain way, especially if these are indicators of lower socioeconomic status or privilege.

The public insisting that young black men like Trayvon Martin or Mike Brown would not have been profiled or killed by police if they had not been wearing hoodies or had things in their pockets (as if those are justifiable reasons to shoot a person).

Transgender folks who feel pressure to identify themselves within the binary, and to medically and/or bureaucratically transition in order to fit in with the mainstream trans narrative; and similarly, gay and queer people across the spectrum feeling like they must “assimilate” into mainstream heterosexual culture and adopt the same values in order to be considered equal citizens.

Women being treated like better or worse by other women depending on their aesthetic choices about their hair, body, clothing, etc.

Folks who practice visible religious rituals or traditions (daily prayer, wearing a hijab, turban, or payot) who are mistreated or harassed.

All of these different experiences and identities combine in a way that puts a lot of pressure on people from marginalized groups to act a certain way to feel like they’re good enough. The reality is, there is no singular, appropriate Way to be Black™ (or Disabled, or Queer, or Bipolar, etc.), because each individual’s reality and life circumstances are different.

I’m personally of the mindset that respect is something that everyone should be given freely — without first being subjected to a test to determine whether they’re rich, clean, educated, happy, or easy enough to fit into a box.

As for those of us within marginalized communities who watch and judge each other’s behaviors, these politics of respectability can only damage the relationships and bridges that we could be building. Whenever someone says “I’d never be like [insert peer’s name], I’m one of the good [insert ethnicity, gender identity, class status, etc]s,” they enact what’s essentially bully behavior. They throw other people like them under the bus to make themselves seem better. All this really does is perpetuate harmful stereotypes and further divide groups of people across lines of inequality.

Combatting this kind of elitism within ourselves isn’t an easy thing to do, either; we’re constantly facing all sorts of subtle and explicit messages about “acceptable” ways of existing in the public sphere. In moments of panic or stress we might be tempted to call out or make fun of someone because the way that they present themselves in the world isn’t traditional or picture perfect, especially when there are more privileged folks around.

In those moments, I try to practice a little bit of what I call “doing-my-best” empathy: as someone who is fat, brown, queer, hairy, chronically ill, and neuroatypical, I may not be what comes to mind when people read my work or look at my business card. And I’m probably not going to be called to model for the #pride section of a JC Penney catalog anytime soon, but I’m doing my best. I am surviving and creating positive change in a world that is complex and difficult to live in, and I deserve respect and recognition for that. Just like everyone else.

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sexuality in color

respectability politics

respect

racism

empathy

internalized messages

social justice

social attitudes

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