#match made in heaven i tells ya

[nymphany]

COD X PUPPY HYBRID! READER

Masterlist

MINORS DNI

WARNING:CONTAINS SEMI DARK THEMES DO NOT READ IF YOURE NOT INTRESTED

Fic contains: taboo / dark content please read this warning if you are triggered by any of this material

Reader info:

Referred with: she/her/girl/you

British! Pan! Short! Afab! Feminine! Reader

Coming soon: cat, bunny, mouse, deer, bear, cow, lamb and bird version

♡ callsign: cadaver!

♡ oh where to start with this little ball of energy!!!

♡ shes so dumb </3 but she's good at her job so that's all that matters

♡ it was a surprise to 141 to be presented with the least intimidating hybrid as their newest addition to the team

♡ this bubbly little thing who was practically shaking in excitement, her tail wagging so hard it looked like it was about to fly off

♡ naturally the men were disappointed that they're newest member wasnt some unbeatable tank but instead a tiny thing who was fueled by praise and treats

♡ speaking of praises and treats gaz cant help but spoil you!! Price tells him not to

"she wont listen if you give her so many treats"

"shes a good girl she always listens"

• hes right you do always listen, you're very obedient maybe too obedient

♡ despite his denial of your treats, your favourite man is obviously price <3 something about puppies and grumpy old men is a match made in heaven !!

♡ you like his ear scratches the best especially when you're in his office with your head on his lap

♡ he says he only likes you for your work but everyone knows that's a lie especially when he pays extra attention to you during lunch. Hes just making sure you eat all your food so you're big and strong

♡ you know how some dads pet their dogs my giving their back a good smack and rub? that's what hed do to you <3

♡ he has a wide selection of beef jerky in his office but you only eat it when someone feeds it to you <3 they're not allowed to hand it to you or place it infront of you they must feed it to you directly!! Makes you happy (you try your best not to nip at their fingers when they feed you but you just get so happy you cant help it)

♡ ghost can never be sarcastic around you your dumb brain cant handle it :( "go count every grain of rice in the kitchens if you're so bothered 'bout the numbers" and you do!!! he feels horrible because he knows you suck at counting :(( it must of took you ages to even get to 50

♡ its okay because it gives soap and gaz an excuse to pamper you!! You dont exactly understand why you're being pampered (must be because you're such a good girl for counting all that rice) but you accept it. It does make ghost feel so much worse for making you do things he didnt mean </3

"You're such a good puppy! You're so good at listening and you're so pretty!"

"Gaz that's enough I already said sorry"

"Aw come on Lt you made the poor thing count every grain of rice cant expect us to not rub it in can ya"

♡ ghost does make it up to you eventually, he takes you on walks around the base and points out secrets and tells you their stories

"Oi pup Do you see that dent in the wall?"

"Yes!"

"Johnny came back after a night out and rammed himself into it thinking his shadow was an intruder"

♡ they always have atleast one of your chew toys on them at all times after they noticed you chewing the inside of your mouth, your fingers, their sleeves or just anything you could fit in your mouth

♡ SCENTING!!!!

♡ your team must smell like you all the time, always, forever !!!! Whenever you get them alone youre immediately licking them!! Sometimes you bite but you're working on it <3

♡ if they come back from somewhere you have to smell them, what if they smell like another hybrid hmm?!?! >:((

♡ which is why you hate baths.

♡ they wipe away all your hard work I mean come on it's not easy to get the scent of your four favourite men nor is it easy to scent them!!! They're constantly around other people >:(((((

♡ luckily you arent the smartest so it's easy to trap and lure you in with kisses <3

♡ some one HAS to be in the bath/shower/ room with you

1. you cant be trusted not to eat the soap (smell nice ≠ taste nice)

2. Its scary in there

3. You get distracted and forget to even get in the bath/shower

♡ they treat you so well though !!! your ears and tail are always so soft when you let gaz wash them, he takes such good care of the soft fur and he never ever let's the bubbles  stay in your ears and he spends a good long time near your tail but you have no idea why <3

♡ soap likes washing your body! He loves watching you relax as he takes his time to make sure you're clean, he loves letting you lean against him as he washes your back and loves watching the suds run down your body. hes so sweet that he makes sure to pay extra attention to your sensitive areas <3

♡ price is the one tasked to dry you off, you seem to only listen to him anyway (of course you do, your dumb doggy brain has to listen to the leader of your pack)

♡ he pulls you against him using your towel as leverage, he so graciously put it in the dryer to warm up so you're all toasty and warm. You sit in his lap while he rubs your body dry whispering praises about your "bravery" to even go into the bath/shower

♡ Which leaves ghost in charge of your skin care!! This big scary man lathering your body in lotions and creams so you're all soft and smooth. He loves the moans and whimpers when he presses down on your weak spots <3

"Oi mutt stop licking the moisturiser"

"No no nooo :((( Say the thing :((("

"....Simons says stop licking the moisturiser"

♡ you never wear clothes after your bath/shower, they're lucky to get underwear on you, you need to be as open to they're scents as possible!! Maybe you'll wear their clothes but only maybe

♡ our puppy wasn't meant to meet Alejandro and Rudy until the mission was over but she said her nose could be put to good use and laswell couldnt help but agree (puppy definitely didn't bribe her or anything puppy hugs do wonders)

♡ at first alejandro didnt even see the girl behind the mountain sized men, assuming it's only ghost and soap coming along

"This is cadaver, our k9 unit she'll be coming along with us"

"Hello!"

"Ah un perro! you'll be very useful"

♡ it was a tight squeeze in the backseat, two military men left little room but it's okay you enjoy sitting on their laps so it's not much different

"So they call you cadaver?"

"Yes sir!"

"You good at hunting corpses?"

"Uh huh! very good! The best!"

"Good because we're looking for a dead man walking"

":00?? A zombie :((("

♡ overall you got on very well with alejandro and Rudy <3 whenever they passed you they always gave a light scratch to your ear

♡ you dont understand the language but you like the attention and that's all that matters, they're so nice and help you cool off in the sun,  you just need to get naked so they can help cool you off just let them help dont even worry about it

♡ you liked graves when you met him he got so hyped up on missions the energy traveled to you

♡ although he definitely tries to make you loyal to him and him only (mmm yummy dark! Graves <3<3) hes always been a fan of hybrids especially the vulnerable ones. Hes best at love bombing you, filling you with treats, pets and roaming hands. Hes a sucker for puppy girls

♡ valeria made you cry when you met her :(( well it was actually rudy but he didnt mean to he felt awful :(((

"Perro estúpido, solo eres una perra reproductora, ¿no? no hay pensamientos en esa linda cabeza tuya"

"Thank you :D"

"Dont thank her shes insulting you"

":(((("

• he gave you so many hugs, treats and kisses after he apologized profusely he forgot how sensitive you are he just didnt want you to thank her for insulting you :((

♡ mommy valeria tho so shes easily forgiven with a few fake compliments.

"You must think twice as hard with that brain of yours"

"Oh no! I dont even think once! :D"

♡ you entertain her, although she does wonder how it would feel to live in your head for a day

"Even the dogs in Las almas know not to bark at me"

"Oh no silly! We're in a shipping container"

"Yes in Las almas"

"Since when"

♡ thinking about how puppy got to keep valeria company while the big strong men go fight, guard dog duties !! Dont ask her how she got naked... and why valerias fingers are pruned... that's not important and you should mind your business

♡ cadaver has a muzzle and harness <3 !!! If you've ever been checked for harness safety you'll understand the feeling of being tugged around and how easy it is to want to jump someones bones

♡ ZOOMIES!!!

♡ always at odd hours too but you cant help it !! you have a lot of energy and you're too dumb to put that energy to good use :(( so it's only natural you jump on everyone and everything <3

♡ nesting with all of their clothes and belongings and they cant stop you or they'll get viciously attacked (you will cry)

♡ sticker collection (scented ones are the best) + mask decorating with ghost !!!!!

♡ konig is a scary big giant man whose just a silly guy at heart but jesus christ he needs to shrink

♡ the first time you met him you actually didnt see him, assuming the sun had exploded and the solid black mass that obscured your vision was the end of the world only to be corrected by an apology from the wall itself

"ah I'm so sorry I didnt see you there"

"Me neither :D"

♡ so big and scary but so warm and protective!! Ghost doesn't like you near konig he doesnt like sharing his toys with kortac

♡ you still hang out with him whenever you get the chance!! <3 friendship bracelets for all!! You did however underestimate how big these mens wrists were and cried when they wouldnt fit

༺*:ﾟ･✧･:*:ﾟ･♡ NSFW ♡･ﾟ:*:･✧･ﾟ:*༻

♡ oral fixation all the way !!

♡ mouth cockwarming!!!! Below prices desk? Yes!! Feeling sleepy and need to suck on something?? Soap is your guy!! Want to learn about the human anatomy? Rudy is there to help

♡ sweaty balls in my mouf

♡ slobbering on them until they scrunch up like raisins, suck the man juice out of them

♡ our puppy has a leash and collar so it's only natural they use it on you, held back by the neck as one of them is pounding into you

♡ puppy likes scent and prefers sex before

and after a work out

♡ listen... piss kink

♡ I just feel like they'd be in a meeting and she tries so so sooo hard to tell someone she needs to pee but they keep telling her to hold it (graves) but she just cant price made sure to keep her hydrated during lunch :(( it's too much and her bladder isnt big enough

♡ whimpers fill the air the sound of dripping water accompanying it their heads turning to face her as sobs bubble out of her mouth along with apologise while she so desperately cover her face to avoid the embarrassment. Her thighs clenched desperately to stop the stream but her attempts were In vain

♡ the first to realise what had happened was soap the fact that he was sitting next to her and had perfect view access to her entire body

"Aw pet don' cry its jus' an accident, happens to the best of us"

♡ :(((( shes so upset but our boys dont mind shes usually so well behaved and she obviously didn't mean to do it on purpose

"Oh puppy you tried so hard to tell us and we completely ignored you didnt we?"

"Uh huh"

"Yeah? And we didnt listen when you said you couldnt hold it did we"

"No i- but I- I did try to hold I really tried hard b-but I couldnt an- and now I've made a mess"

♡ they cant ignore the arousal they get from seeing her soaked and sobbing <3 they know it's wrong, shes upset and embarrassed but they just cant help it

♡ graves is a gross man who looks like fix it felix but dont let that fool you he 100% loves the control he gets from a piss kink especially for our puppy, he likes making you hold it and then mocks you in a high pitched voice but your dumb little brain thinks hes comforting you

♡ I think simon is more one for fucking you until you pee, he usually does it in the shower so he can wash off but he doesnt mind getting dirty, he likes the feeling of your cunt squeezing and gushing around him especially if you try to tell him to stop. Youre gonna pee? Yeah? Do it

♡ gaz is someone who likes to watch you pee he loves the view <3 the fluttering of your cunt draws him in road trip side of road

♡ Johnny, similar to his L.T, is someone who teases you until you pee. Rubbing your clit until its puffy and sore and you cant hold yourself up right let alone your bladder

♡ alejandro and Rudy like watching you wiggle they'll purposefully fill you with liquid and press on your tummy just to watch you squirm, they have bets on who can make you loose it first

♡ price pees in you

♡

♡

♡ theres a reason hes your favourite

♡ you know how I talked about scenting??... I hate to break it to you but she has definitely peed on them/their stuff at some point

♡ you mostly pee on price

♡ "what are you doing"

"Nothin"

"Where are you pants"

"I dont know"

"You're not gonna pee on the floor are you"

"No"

"That's right you're not because that would be bad"

"bad"

"Thats right bad"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...."

"Just a little"

"No-"

♡ heats are always a pain for you :(( so horny and so wet desperate for someone to fill you with the pups you need. You drive the team crazy with your whimpers and cries but they know you cant help it, you're just achey :(((

♡ bullet vibrators are your best bet as they obviously cant fuck you 24/7 so that small buzzing of pleasure keeps you satiated until they can get their hands on you, the first time you had your heat you couldnt get the small thing out :(( your fingers were too small and it was so slippery you couldnt grasp it :((( you're so lucky your captain is kind enough to help you <3 dont think about his fingers wiggling inside you hes just trying extra hard to get it out that's why hes pumping them in and out of you

♡ sometimes they have to keep you in a cage because you wont stop begging to be stuffed, they dont want a rookie to think that they're allowed to overstep their place just because your in heat

♡ you hump everything!!!! Nothing is safe they take their shirt off for one second and it's on a pillow being jumped by no other than you!! You absolute fiend!!!

♡ you follow them around everywhere you love being around you favourite men!!!

♡ when 141 go on a mission you're left with Rudy and alejandro who always give in to you whines and begs <3 they treat you so well always stuffing you full when you need it, letting you have as much cum as you please, it makes the 141 so jealous that they have to fuck you as soon as they get back!

♡ graves probably pimps out puppy to his shadows there I said it

♡ konig isnt to slick with his touches either, he may think hes going undetected but that's only by our dumb mutt the other men are fuming with him. He let's you sit in his lap, his bear like hands inbetween your thighs rubbing along your most intimate areas you dont exactly connect what hes doing and hes completely okay with that just grind yourself back on him.

♡ he probably asks horangi to help him out, probably stretching you to prepare for the brute of the man

♡ definitely think gangbangs are a big part of your heat, vibrators, plugs, rope and muzzles are all items your familiar with. I like to think they just come and go when fucking you it's almost like a brothel

♡ they definitely finger fuck you while doing mindless tasks, brushing their teeth? You're bent over the sink pushing yourself back onto them, doing paperwork? Being cockwarmed by your snug lil cunt, lifting weights? You're bouncing on their cock weighing them down

#simon ghost riley x reader #141 x reader #task force 141 x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #rudy parra x reader #valeria garza x reader #john price x reader #captain John price x reader #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #konig x reader #horangi x reader #cod mw2 x reader #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #graves x reader #phillip graves x reader

[hisui-dreamer]

cook your way to your man's heart!

Characters: Deuce, Ruggie, Jade, Malleus

Synopsis: In which you decide to cook your guy's favourite food to condition them into liking you. Don't underestimate a person in love!

Tags: fluff, crack, reader is good at cooking, food is used as bribery, bot proofread

Word count: 766

Notes: inspired by this post

Disclaimer: this post is entirely light-hearted and as a PSA, please do not manipulate people.

Masterlist

this man adores you to bits

house-spouse material!!

every time he's so curious to see what you made for him

is it an egg sandwich? a quiche? an omelette? egg rolls?

he'll happily eat all of it, he loves your food!

refuses to share with anyone else unless it’s you

he finds you so endearing and he really appreciates the gesture

he would offer to cook with you or help you wash the dishes

before he knows it, he wants to always be close to you

walks you to school every morning, saves you a seat at lunch, etc.

when you tell him you made him food bc you liked him, he’ll be ecstatic

you put in all that effort for him?? that’s so sweet of you!

he wants to introduce you to his mom and see you two working in the kitchen together, his two most favourite people in the world

"Prefect, thank you so much for making me food!" Deuce says heartily. "Everything tastes amazing, you're so talented! I'm so happy to eat your cooking!"

oh he falls for it so bad

house-spouse material no.2!!

while he's careful with trusting people, he can't deny seeing you makes him so happy and he just can't resist the food

every time he sees you his tail is shaking in excitement

he has half a mind to wonder where you're getting the expenses from to keep making food for him

but hey how could he ever resist donuts?

he's so flattered and wants to repay you somehow

finds more opportunities to spend time with you in his busy schedule

works extra hard to earn thaumarks and get you some gifts

also he's always there for you if you need help

by the time he realises, he's head over heels in love with you

he can't say he minds, you're such a lovely person and you come with great food!

"Wow Prefect, are you trying to bribe me with donuts? I'm not that easy, ya know. Shishishi!" Ruggie laughs, his lips coated in chocolate. "But I gotta say, these donuts are awesome. You really know how to make a guy feel special. Thanks a ton, you're the best," he beams.

he's cautious when you start giving him food withouta good reason

he knows what you're up to fast

what else would you expect from a master manipulator like himself?

he'll play along though, only to enjoy your cooking

he does appreciate the effort you're putting in to make him happy by preparing his favorite food

even though he knows, he still finds himself looking forward to seeing what new dish you might bring

would it be octopus carpaccio? a toasted mushroom and egg sandwich?

he loves everything you make for him

eventually he'll find himself in love with you, but only willfully

by that point he'll start teasing you and play around with your expectations to keep you on your toes

truly a match made in heaven, two scheming dorks in love

but hey, all's fair in the game of love

"Why thank you, Prefect. Your thoughtfulness is truly appreciated," Jade says as he savors another bite. "This octopus carpaccio is quite exquisite. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to impart some of your culinary secrets to me? I would love learning from such a skilled cook." He's smiling but there's a certain glint to his eyes.

happy dragon noises

he's so in love with you omg

he was already interested to you when he met you in ramshackle

but one night you started offering him ice cream?

he's smitten

and you made it by yourself???

lilia's holding him back from marrying you instantly

he’ll find himself visiting you whenever he’s craving food or you

he's so fascinated by how ice cream is made and all the different flavours he can try

insert image of malleus furiously shaking a plastic bag with ice and cream in it

appreciates your determination and hard work in the kitchen so much

it makes him feel so valued and cared for

gives you all of his treasures to woo you and pays for all of the ingredients

and offers to help you in the kitchen, although you should keep a close eye on him if you don't want ramshackle burnt to the ground

Malleus smiles at you contently. "Might I express my sincerest gratitude, prefect? Your efforts to make my favorite food are not unnoticed, and I am deeply appreciative of your kindness," he says. "Your gifts are cherished, and I find myself drawn to your company more and more each day."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland deuce #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #twisted wonderland ruggie #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #jade leech #twisted wonderland jade #jade leech x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #twisted wonderland malleus

[apollosfavkiddo]

hi, I’m not great at requesting things but if this makes sense could you write a high school au where Jason is a football player. I think it would be cute cause he’s definitely tall enough and strong enough but then add in him being kind and wow he would make the BEST high school football player boyfriend. Thank you

⛧° Jason Grace x Nerdy! Reader hcs °⛧

content: jason grace x reader, college au!

warnings: cursing, allusions to sexual stuff (not much tho), stupidtly fluffy and corny.

a/n: bby if i tell you i dreamt about this, would you believe me? like, i swear to all the gods, i dreamt with this and woke up thinking about writing it… well, here ya go. oh, and i also made her a brazilian, i hope you don’t mind? if you do, just ignore it, please 🫡

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

Of course, he’s a great football player.

Like, i know no shit about football, i’m a soccer girly, but he’s the best quarterback in the city. like, he’s really really good.

And obviously everyone believes he’s such an asshole and a womanizer.

But in reality he’s so so nice

Sure, he sleeps with some girls and all, but not as much as his teammates.

He’s also the only jock that sticks with a girlfriend. Not for long, but still more than the other guys ig

So when he was having trouble with maths, he needed a tutor, cause he had to have a back up plan of he didn’t went for the pros

Such a nice boy, fr.

And he went talk with the teacher to ask who could teach him.

And that’s when he found you.

You weren’t exactly a super nerd. You just liked to study.

But you had a lot of friends, since being the only exchange student did bring this sort of popularity around the university.

And when he first came to you, you were kinda bitchy.

You know, you had a bit of hatred towards football players. No idea why, it was just there.

Even with that, you were too kind-hearted to don’t tutor him.

And when you got to know each other… you kinda started liking him.

On your first study session, the library was too full, so you went to the outside

Which was really working out, till Jason found a little bird that probably fell from his nest

The guy was so worried that he almost took the bird home

He would’ve done it if you didn’t stop him

But he found the nest and put the little bird back there

And you just stood there, like “what the fuck? isn’t he supposed to be a douche?”

It happens that he’s not.

And you became pretty good friends with the frequent study sessions and all.

Not to mention he was pretty offended when you told him you didn’t like football.

And you were very offended when he asked if the spoke Spanish in Brazil.

He knew it didn’t, he just did it to piss you off.

He really wanted you to go to one of his games, but you never said you were really going.

So, one day, when his team was having a match against Briar University, he was more than surprised to see you at the stands, right in the front.

With his jersey. With his number and name on your back.

He honestly felt he was gonna cry right then and there.

He got so happy he made a touchdown. They won.

And you were there, cheering for him and pretending like you understand anything that was going on there.

When the game ended, he came rushing towards you.

“Congrats, Gra-“ Before you could even finish your sentence, he kissed you.

Oh, and it was heaven.

After this, you started dating and it was the best thing you ever experienced.

He was such a gentleman.

Doors? Don’t even touch that. Dates? He’s paying, duh. You’re tired? He’ll carry you, bridal style.

You get the point.

You started liking football because of him. And he started liking soccer because of you.

a/n: i don’t know what to feel about this lol. idk what you’ll think of the brazilian thing, but if you don’t like it, i’ll remake it, promise!

#postcards from leah #jason grace x reader #jason grace x y/n #jason grace #jason grace x you #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #pjo hoo toa #pjo #football

[devildomditzy]

With an MC who thinks they’re not good enough for them

Made this as a personal vent/comfort piece for my self

If you start thinking bad thought about yourself, you just gotta think “the brothers would be so hurt if they caught me thinking this way”

Tags/Warnings: Self-Deprecating Thoughts

Lucifer

Takes it very personal

As pride incarnate, he values himself on making his guests feel comfortable

Even if it’s not him causing the thought, he’ll still see it upon himself to try and fix it

You don’t even have to say it, he just knows (okay, maybe you vented to Beel and Beel told Lucifer cause he was worried about you but that’s beside the point)

“MC, I was unaware I was doing you the disservice of not imploring your importance to us. Let me make that up to you.”

You don’t know how he knows, but you don’t question it.

He prepares tea for the both of you, ready to have a full conversation about self reflection.

Every negative comment you make about yourself he’s quick to counter

“You’ve truly become the gem of the Devildom, MC. I cannot be dissuaded from believing the same goes for the human realm. You’re very dear to me.”

Mammon

Oh hell no

He will not stand for it

He had asked you to attend one of his shoots earlier this week but you had never responded to his invitation, changing the subject every time he brought it up

At first he thinks you just don’t want to go, which hurts him. You catch onto this, and not wanting him to think that the real reason comes out

“It’s just… you’re a model. Not to mention you were a literal angel sculpted by the Gods, and you make an even hotter demon. You’re on the cover of every magazine in the Devildom. Wherever we go you get recognized and fawned over. Hell, you’ve even got a fan club here at school. You’re also one of the most powerful demons and leaders of this realm. Why the hell would you wanna be seen with some pathetic, average looking human like me.”

His heart breaks

He blames himself for not catching on quicker

“Oi! I’m not gonna let anyone talk about my human like that, even if you are that human!”

In the middle of his rant about how everything about you is perfect to him, from your gorgeous appearance to your terrible humor, to your radiant personality, he gets an idea.

Its like you can see a lightbulb flash over his head, he gets giddy like a child, taking out his phone and quickly dialing a number

As it rings it rings, he proudly says, “If ya got a problem with me bein’ a model, I guess we’ll have to make you one too!”

His agency is actually thrilled to have a chance to shoot Diavolo’s esteemed human exchange student. It’s like a once in a millennia chance.

And he’s holding your hand proudly through it. Now he can show you off to the whole Devildom.

You were nervous about it all week until you saw the photos printed on every magazine in town

You stood next to Mammon, both in your Rad uniforms posing in front of the school. You breath hitches in your throat when you see just how adoringly he is staring at you in each and every photo

He may be a professional, but no amount of training could have stopped his love for you from shining through his expressions

He rips these pictures out of his copy, hanging them both all over his and your rooms

“Now the whole Devildom knows we’re a match made in heaven! Well….shit…uh…ya know what I meant.”

Levi

All that stuff about you being a normie, you know he was just kidding right!?

You open up to him against your will, as you both engaged in another weird card game he bought off of Akuzon, and were bound by the rules to confess a burden or be stuck in the games limbo forever

How could anyone (let alone you) think that about his Henry? His player two?

“H-hey! You’re not giving yourself enough credit! You’re super cool, MC! Like, boss level status!!!”

By the shine and sincerity in his eyes, you know this boy is telling the truth

When you flash him a smile and let out a gorgeous laugh, let’s just say the boy melts

Scoop him off the floor and into your arms, he’ll appreciate it.

Asmo

You have to realize there is only one thing in this world that Asmo thinks can even come close to comparing to him and it’s you

If he is Adonis, then you are Aphrodite (and vice versa)

When he sees you staring in the mirror for a beat too long and learns it’s NOT because you’re admiring your own beauty

oh honey

you’ve got a big storm comin’

We’re talking a self care whirlwind here

He’s got face creams, he’s got body scrubs, he’s got lotions, he’s got makeup, he’s bringing out the big guns

And he’s doing all the work too. Asmo is making sure you feel pampered and radiant by the end of the night

If self care doesn’t work, then he’s got other ways of convincing you *ahem hem*

Satan

You’re preaching to the choir hun

He can’t help himself, he compares his every move with Lucifer’s, worrying he’s not as good as him; worrying he’ll never best him

He knows how much that feeling sucks though, and he never ever wants you to even have an inkling of those thoughts

It happens during a study session in the library, he notices just how out of it you are today

“And what exactly is the correct terminology for hypnotizing someone with cursed speech, MC?…….MC?”

When you finally snap out of your haze and meet his eyes, he knows something in wrong

He’ll softly but steadfast question you, even if you don’t tell him the complete truth, he knows exactly what’s wrong, he can see it in your eyes. The same look he sees when he looks in the mirror.

“I’m just not as smart as you, Satan. I’m just a human. Let’s face it, I’m never gonna pass these exams. Diavolo’s gonna send me home because I’m just not good enough. I’m not as great as you all make me out to be.”

At those words, panic sets into his eyes temporarily before they soften

“MC, you’re the most remarkable being I’ve ever met. Quite frankly, I never thought a human could survive down here- well, there’s Solomon, but I wouldn’t quantify him as human. You’re certainly more clever than you think. Honestly, you’re not as great as we all think. You’re even better than that.

After his little pep talk, he’ll take you back to his room for a little study break. He’ll make you tea, read to you, nap with you, whatever makes you feel better.

You enchant him <3

Beel

This has Beel utterly baffled because the poor boy cannot wrap his head around why you or anyone else would ever have a negative thought about you

He may not speak it all the time because he just assumes you know but you are his everything

If even an inkling of a negative thought comes out of your mouth, Beel will stare at you straight faced for a beat before completely enveloping you into his strong arms

He’s not the best with words (usually, he leaves the poetics for his twin) but he will really make an attempt to chase these doubtful emotions from your mind

“MC, I don’t know what made you feel this way but I promise it’s far from the truth. Now, how can I help you feel better?”

Belphie

omg bestie him too, small world!!!

I mean, how could he be enough for you? He tried to kill you!!!

Mutual and constant assurance common between the two of you

And ever since the events of that day, a giant question has been gnawing at the back of your mind. You can’t help but let it slip one day

“Belphie, are you sure you love ME? That i’m not just a replacement in your mind for Lilith? You hated me until you found out I was her descendant…I-I mean, how could you change your mind that fast?”

He’s stunned to say the least, but shakes his head and softly smiles at you before stating

“Yes, I did hold a grudge against humans, but not particularly you. I would have attacked any human who found their way in front of me back then. Lilith is my sister, of course I love and miss her. But you MC? You are the light of my life. I could only see red until I saw through your human nature and finally saw the beautiful soul that is you. I realized I was wrong that day, wrong for a very long time. Now, I don’t want to waste anymore time, I want to spend it all with you.”

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #omswd #om #obey me headcannons #obey me mc #obey me x mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmo #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me belphie #obey me x reader #mammon headcannons #beelzebub headcanons #belphegor headcanons #asmodeus headcanons #lucifer headcanons #satan headcanons #leviathan headcanons #mammon x mc #lucifer x mc #beelzebub x mc #asmodeus x mc

[macsimagines]

Hello again dearest! I hope you’ve been doing well and that life has been treating you kindly ♡

With my second and third Uni midterms looming over me, I would like to request Yan! Izana, Ran, & Shin with a foreign darling~ One who is an international university student in Japan on a student visa

And if it’s not too long, I’d like a follow up of their darling taking them to visit their home country for the holidays since the Yan’s can’t bear to be apart from their darling especially when they would be overseas alone without them ♡♡

I've actually had foreign japanese students at my old school and uni though we weren't' close wish i couldve interacted more and maybe learned something from them hah

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, BABY TRAPPING, SCUM BAG BEHAVIOR

Yandere! Izana Kurokawa

He was attracted to you right away, not even romantically or physically, just having been of mixed decent and then seeing someone who might relate to his own experiences interested him.

Became very romantically interested after a few interactions however, you had such a fresh perspective as a foreigner and some of the things he's had to live through seemed to resonate with you.

"Your step-mom was straightup evil. No kid should have to go through that, and I hope your kingdom is as beautiful as you make it out to be."

Hooked for life right away. And also distraught at the thought of you leaving, would constantly try to convince you to get a citizenship and just live here forever with him.

"Why even go back if I'm here?" Is one thousand percent serious, you've become such a huge part of his entire being so it must be the same for you right?

When you convince him to come with you on holiday home to meet your family though, something changes. You don't have to stay in Japan, you just have to stay with him.

As long as you're together than everything will work out. It wasn't like you could so much as leave his place without him being glued to your hip, good luck getting out of the country without him tagging along.

Yandere! Ran Haitani

He is sooo enamored by you. Fetishizing people because of their race is so goddamn gross but the fact that you're foreign definitely is what attracts him to you to begin with.

Ran is so toxic with it to. Calls you exotic like its some kind of compliment, tells you you're accent is soooo cute when you're doing your best to sound natural, makes fun of you for every mispronunciation.

But you don't know anyone in Japan and he's 6'1 so you put up with it. He's just so tall and pretty and he knows all the best spots in roppongi so of course you choose to suck it up.

Afterall, its not like it's forever. He's just your heavy and hot fling that you can go home and brag to your friends about, right? Wrong. He's sprung bitch and you're stuck with him.

"Hey, when are we going to your neck of the woods for this holiday?" "...We?" "Ya, I gotta pack and get my ticket soon, right?"

Hope you're ready to disappoint your folks now that you're bringing home this freak show. Don't forget his dream is to become a foreign celebrity so he wants to experience it all when he visits with you.

"Man, this trip is so much fun. I can't wait for next year."

Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

Worships you. He can't spit game for shit, but thankfully you don't understand him too well to begin with. It's a match made in heaven!

He doesn't make fun of you when you get your words wrong or fumble a sentence, but he does think its so cute. Shinichiro doesn't try to infantilize you but it does come off like that.

God the fact that you want him and you stick with him even though he's such a dork makes him love you so much, he doesn't even think he deserves you.

Hates it when you go home the first time. He can't even talk to you on the phone because of service issues, and trust me this dude was ready to take out loans for collect call just to hear your voice.

Bombards you with all kinds of questions like "Who did you see? Who were you with? Are you going back!?"

So my big headcanon is that he's a baby trapper. So when you talk about going next season he's already trying to figure out how knock you up.

Ends up fucking you with busted condoms (he poked holes) a few weeks before your trip because he needed to give you a VERY good reason to come back.

Just tells you "It's cause I'm going to miss you so much baby, I gotta get as much of you as I can. :)"

You end up surprising him with a ticket for him to come with you. He honestly could cry tears of joy, but he'll save it for when you discover his own little surprise.

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere izana kurokawa #yandere shinichiro sano #yandere ran haitani

[christinebloodwrittings]

Till' death do us apart: Chapter 1.

Pairing: Angel Y/n x Alastor Fandom: Hazbin Hotel. Warnings: Slight sexual interaction, hell being hell.

Masterlist –– Prologue –– Next chapter

Taglist: Open...

Flying gave me the impression that my body weighed less than I thought,  didn't do it frequently, only when it was my turn to go down to the human world, so yes, I almost never worked my legs outside of the occasional training, millions of years of not making a good use of my muscles.

Slight atrophy.

Walking through the streets of hell, with the heavy atmosphere, the heat, the humidity, not to mention that the bruises from the fall, although not visible under the celestial uniform, were killing me.

It didn’t exactly helped that there were lights everywhere, neon signs, reflectors, my vision wasn’t adjusting to my dark surroundings.

As soon as one little demon kid saw me and he ran away, I ditched the long robe with the golden cross, remaining only in a white dress shirt, black pants and shiny shoes. Clothes for work, not a hike.

“Hey cutie, wanna have a good time?”

 “You have an ass to polish balls, baby”

“That’s meat alright, and not what my wife puts in the stew!”

And other types of wolf calling. Well it was no wonder, I ended up in a street where sex was the predominant business, given the triple X signs, and the semi naked demons trying to lure me inside.

Next time I get a word with the big guy, I'll mention something about gender distinctions, he would’ve at least assign me one instead of making me look androgenous. Apparently, what is a problem in heaven, it doesn’t matter in hell, very ironic indeed.

A whistle caught my attention, that and also the tug someone gave to my sleeve, “Poorly defined waistline, thick thighs, slim frame, and look at that clear porcelain skin, what a beautiful creature you are” I turned my head, the lady demon, with a similitude to a lynx, purred in my ear as she caressed my face, and the other hand went straight to my thigh.

“So soft” I felt her breasts against my wounds, it sent a shiver throughout my body. “Ma’am, release me, please” I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, “Why, am I not sexy enough for ya’, prude?” she offended because I rejected her? That made me laugh, “Don’t take me wrong miss” her grasp in me softened, giving me room to turn to see her.

“You flatter me, but I don’t feel up to it, you’ll be wasting your time” She took my hands again, just when I was going to walk away, “Is there anything I can do to convince you?” her tail wrapped against the outline of my hip, “Even if you did, I don’t have a single penny on me” I tried to elude her, I had no money whatsoever, but even if I did, wouldn’t use it on sex.

“I can give you a free trial” she rolled her eyes, She pressed her breasts to my torso, her mischievous smile and the earring with the sigil of Asmodeus, gave me a slight hypothesis, “I swear, it’s not a you problem” I pointed at her breasts making her to give me the answer I needed.

“If you like men, I’m a shapeshifter” bingo, I’m right again, “Succubus, not only a human would’ve heard my lack of money and immediately desist afterwards, but also you work for Asmodeus” she laughed at my discovery, earning a light hiss out of me, “Very smart, congrats, now that you know what I am, will you give in to temptation?” tempting, ironic enough.

“Quid pro quo” she widened her eyes, “What do you want?” I went in, one thing I needed to start off this sort of adventure, “Information, where I can get quick cash without having to undress in front of millions?” she laughed, her eyes turning yellow out of a sudden, her body shifted into a smaller creature with red skin, dark wings and horns that matched her skin, “Fuck me and I’ll tell you” black lipstick really suited her face.

“I can ensure your pleasure instead” at my proposition she purred and took my hand, “Okay, suck me off and I’ll tell you all about it” her kiss on my cheek felt hot and silly, “After you” her voice was so sweet.  

I followed her, the second we walked through the doors of the club, an intoxicating fruity smell surrounded me, it was definitely better than outside.

We crossed another door further on, this one led to a velvet red room, the lighting, the heart-shaped sheets on the bed, everything.

She flew past me, getting rid of her dress and panties, I quickly catch them in the air and folded both items neatly, “Hey, you don’t have to-” I guess she saw something, because as soon as she looked at my face, she pinched her nose and went from her annoyed tone to the sweet one from before, “Just come here” her hand outstretched to me, I waited a second before I took it, “Huh, you’re rather obedient” was that a bad thing? I acted out of reflex, has it always been that way?

I cleared my throat, leaving those wayward thoughts behind me, as I adjusted her legs to go over my shoulders, my body belly-flat against the soft sheets, my elbows being my only support "Apologies if I do it wrong, it's been a long time" the smell coming out from her inner thighs was sweet for a few seconds, it made me squirm, "Have you licked lollipops? It's the same thing, honey" the smell shifted, citrus, even lemony, it made me salivate.

“You like that better?” I looked up to her smug face, “My body adjusts to please, I guess you’ve got no sweet tooth” I bit softly the inside of her thigh, her smile disappearing into a shock, even more so after I latched a full lick, making sure to push gently against her clit.

Damn, I haven't done anything like this since I worked undercover in a brothel in Sodom. That's disgusting, my hands are sweaty. Her moans are very cute, are all succubus like that? What the hell am I doing? If they found out that I purposely disturbed the sanctity of my body...Wait, what will they do? Days have passed without anyone coming down for me, Thanatos will likely replace me in the worst case scenario, and I highly doubt that Michael told Gabriel about his decision.

How horrible, my back is killing me, will it be too much to ask us to change positions? but it looks like she enjoys it, I don't want to ruin it.

He didn't cut off Samael's wings when he pushed him overboard, why was it different with me? Can I open portals without needing my wings? It's a good question, shit, concentrate.

“Ouch! Hey, watch it with those fangs” Fangs? I slowly ran my tongue over my teeth. They were sharp, the corruption had begun.

“It’s okay, just..” she sat up, took my face gently in her hands and placed a kiss to my forehead, "There's a place, in the mafia district, look for Jambo, he fixes fights, he'll pay ya’ good money if you do what he tells you, whether it's winning or losing, whateva’ makes him more money" Pity, it was clear as water.

“But you didn’t…end?” I watched her go around, grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper, “Darling, I came as soon as you bit me, believe me, your end of the deal is well paid” she handed me said paper, and a ring, “Asmodeus uses one of this to hide his angelic glow, this will make you a less of a target around here” I slip the ring in my middle finger, immediately my body dimmed, I looked like just another sinner of the lot.

“Thank you” with a kiss to her cheek I left the club. Now I needed to put my best quality to my favor, all those years of training for a nonexistent war will give me everything I need to survive.

#alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor the radio demon #radio demon #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel 2024 #hellaverse #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel

[featherandferns]

17 smut please!!

17. Hold my hand?

This turned out being really cute and soft and (honestly) a tad cheesy. Hope u like it!

feel free to request: prompt list

Dinner Tomorrow? - prompt 17

In the movie Pretty Woman (which Sarah forced the Pogues to watch one night), Vivian tells Edward that kissing is too intimate in sex. That for it to be the simple act, purely for pleasure, there can’t be any kissing or else you get attached. JJ held back his scoff when he watched that. Such bullshit. Kissing’s fine. JJ has never had a problem with kissing when it came to a random hook-up or one night stand following a kegger. In fact, for a while, JJ didn’t think there was any part of sex that bordered on anything deeper than simply sex. That was until he started hooking up with you.

Your libido matched perfectly with JJ’s. So much so that John B sarcastically referred to the two of you as a ‘match made in heaven’. Sex with you was different from the one-night stands, JJ knew that much. It felt different, though he could never fully place why. There were the things he knew you liked and stuff that you’d learnt he did, too, but that wasn’t why things felt more, well, intimate.

“Where’s your head at?”

To ask, you’ve pulled back from the kiss the two of you had been sharing. JJ’s hovering over you, an arm on either side of your head, trapping you under him. You’re staring up at him, eyes shining under the low glow of the lamp on the beside table; lips swollen and wet from him.

“What’d ya mean?” he mumbles. His eyes flit down to your mouth.

“Just feels like you’re thinking a lot,” you tell him, brushing a hand through his hair. “For a change.”

“Rude,” JJ replies. He relishes in the playful smile you flash him.

“Seriously, though. You good?”

“Yeah, course,” he says flippantly.

You raise a brow, unconvinced. “JayJ.”

Sighing, he flops down beside you on the bed, onto his back. You’re right. His mind is wandering. Propping yourself up on an elbow, fixing your bra strap that had slipped down, you study his face as he stares at the ceiling.

“We don’t gotta do anything tonight if you’re not feeling it,” you tell him.

“Nah, it’s not that,” he mumbles, rubbing at his face.

“Then what? Come on, you can talk to me. I mean, I’ve seen you naked so I don’t think there’s much else for you to hide,” you joke, smiling at him.

He opens his eyes and takes in your expression. Kind and sweet and patient. Something about it makes his heart flutter. Something about that makes his stomach twist. He’s never been affected this way before. Never caught feelings, not properly. Nothing outside of thinking someone’s hot or cute; nothing deep. But as he takes in your face and the swooping, sweeping beauty of your features, he knows that the Pogues were right. Match made in heaven: JJ Maybank has fallen for you.

“How would…How would you feel about me asking you to get dinner sometime tomorrow, with me?”

You blink, obviously stunned. The smile on your face vanishes to instead be one of surprise, lips half parted. JJ immediately wants to take it back. Laugh it off as a joke or lie and say that it’s a group thing. But then you’re smiling again, as if you’ve processed what he’s said.

“Well, if it’s dinner then it wouldn’t just be ‘sometime’ would it? It’d be around dinnertime?” you slowly reply.

JJ rolls his eyes, finding his smile. Smartass. “Fine. How would you like to grab dinner tomorrow with me at dinnertime-hours?”

You chuckle at that. Nod like you’re deliberating. “I think that’d be okay.”

“Yeah?” JJ checks, his tone more serious.

The two of you share a look, one that confirms to JJ that you know what he’s insinuating. That he wants to see if this can be more than just clandestine hook-ups and quickies after parties.

Your smile slinks back from teasing to soft. Nodding, you quietly say, “Yeah. I’d really like that, JayJ.”

Smiling, JJ leans up to kiss you again. You guide him closer, one arm looping around his neck and your other hand coming up to cradle his jaw. There’s the rough touch of stubble that’s starting to come through since the last time he shaved. Inhaling sharply, JJ moves to be atop of you again, deepening the kiss, bringing a hand to palm at your bra-clad breast. You sigh against his lips, preening into his touch.

As the make-out goes on, what little clothes remained on your bodies is shed, strewn out on the floor and the bed. When JJ finally slips inside of you, it’s different again from before. Slower. Sensual even. He feels like he can feel every ripple of your muscles and every clench of your body. Hear every breath and is highly attuned to every whimper and moan. His thrusts are deep and purposeful. It’s not boring though. In fact, JJ’s not sure it’s ever been this good before with you - and every time you guys have fucked has been Goddamn amazing.

“JJ,” you breathe into his ear. Your fingernails are driving blunt crescents into his back. It’s like mercurial torture. “JayJ? Hold my hand?”

He leans back enough to meet your eyes. He’s breathing heavy and pausing a little in rhythm, processing what you’ve said. Then, he follows your gaze to your open palm, lying beside your head.

Intertwining his fingers with yours, feeling as your hold locks around his, he leans down to kiss you and starts moving again. Faster, deeper again somehow, and even better. The moans you give are intermixed with cusses and his name, and it’s like the best prayer he’s ever heard. He squeezes your hand tighter and finds, when he’s able to open his eyes through the pleasure, that he’s staring at your intertwined hands. Connected and locked together in hold. That’s when it clicks, somewhere far off in his brain, what’s the most intimate, attachment-triggering act in sex.

When you both come, it’s almost simultaneously. Shaking and shuddering against one another, gasping for breath, skin clammy and damp, JJ can’t help but gently slump against you. Rests his head on your chest and revels in the uneven rise and fall. Presses damp, lazy kisses to the skin. Silently basks in the feeling of your fingers stroking through his hair and scratching at his scalp. You only have one hand to do it with, though. The other is still holding his.

“Where’d you wanna go for food, then?” you ask, still a little short of breath.

“I don’t mind,” JJ sleepily replies, speaking against your skin. He’s still inside of you, soft and spent.

“The Wreck, maybe?”

“Sure,” he yawns.

“Or there’s that cute mom-pop sandwich shop a couple streets over,” you offer. “Think it’s called Kacey’s Deli?”

JJ smiles as his eyes slip shut. In the post-nut haze, he hears himself tenderly saying, “I don’t mind. S’long as it’s with you.”

You giggle at that, a little flustered. It makes your body tremble under him. “Okay.”

As the two of you drift off, JJ falls asleep without letting your hand leave his grip all night.

#jj #jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj drabble #jj maybank drabble #jj x reader drabble #jj maybank x reader drabble #drabbles #drabble #17 #obx #obx fic #obx drabble #obx drabbles #obx preferences #outer banks #outer banks drabbles #outer banks preferences #outerbanks #outerbanks drabbles #prompts

[doobnnoob-tf2]

I made that fic request post forever ago and I feel so bad I'm just now getting to these but @fontodue I hope you enjoy

===

Sniper had been called away on a mission and would be gone for over a week. Heavy and Medic decided to go to a lodge a bit up north for the weekend. Engineer, Soldier, Demoman, and Pyro all took a roadtrip to go check out some sort of oddities shop that had opened the next town over and decided to make a weekend trip of it as well. The base was quiet.

"Yo, Spy!"

Mostly.

Spy and Scout were the only two left on the base. And while the calm, quiet, serene bliss of having a relatively empty base was almost heaven for Spy, it was torture - he discovered - for Scout. He'd come to find out that living with seven older brothers only to move to a base with 8 other mercenaries meant he didn't know what quiet really meant or how to appreciate it. But he'd been patient with Scout's annoyingly constant seeking him out. He knew it was only because he was lonely.

And so when he did it again while Spy was laying on the couch in the rec room, enjoying the silence with his eyes shut, he didn't even so much as let out a sigh. He simply moved his arm off his face to look up at him leaning over the back of the couch. "Yes?"

"Okay, good, you're awake. So, I had an idea. Since everyone else is kinda off doin' their thing.. I was thinkin.. ya know.. maybe you and I could head to town in that fancy car 'a yours and pick up chicks at the bar."

"Scout-"

"I know what you're thinkin', and I know. Regular bar chicks ain't your thing, you like fancy ladies. But, and hear me out, I've got a plan."

"Scout-"

"Spy, come on, just trust me with this, please! I'm tellin' you, this idea is foolproof!"

"I am fairly certain in order for a plan to not be foolproof, a fool could not have come up with it."

"Well thankfully there ain't one here today, so come on!" He grabbed Spy and pulled him up to his feet, leading him back to his room. "So here's my plan. We need to stand out, right? If we can get all eyes on us, then we have their attention and we can pick whoever we want at that point." He opened his bedroom door, leaving Spy standing outside it as he stepped in and talked loudly through it. "I went through everything I've got.. and maybe some'a everyone else's stuff, don't tell them. And I think I've put together the best outfit!"

Spy leaned back against the wall opposite to the door, staring at it with an eyebrow raised. He folded his arms over his chest and waited for whatever this horrible display was about to be. And upon its reveal, he..

..well, it took every atom in his body to not move a single muscle in his face, for starters.

Spy stood there, bewildered as his eyes roamed over him. He'd found one of Demoman's kilts. One of Sniper's hats. And what he can only assume is one of Medic's dressier shirts he wears when he and Heavy go out for their weekly dinner dates. None of it matched. Or fit, for that matter. But his eyes darted up to Scout's face and the hopeful look in his eye knocked him out of his stupor.

He cleared his throat and reached up to fix his own waistcoat as he moved away from the wall. "Well, ah.. it is something, I shall give it that. And I can tell you.. chose things wisely." He moved around to look in at the clothing pile on his bed. And then back at Scout again. And then at the clothes, thinking long and hard before turning to him once more with a smile. "How about we move all of this to the recreational room and.. go through it together? I can think of a few.. adjustments we could make to this, oui?"

There was a sparkle in Scout's eye as he ran in to gather all of it in his arms and rush out to head down the hall. Spy followed him, bending down to pick up each article of clothing that falls like a breadcrumb trail behind him.

...

Medic huffed as he opened the door, folding his arms and looking at Heavy. "I still can't believe it. Snowed in!"

"It was lodge, Doktor.. it should have snow."

"But we're in the middle of a desert, it was a desert lodge! How could it be snowed in?"

Heavy chuckled as he moved past him, stepping into the rec room and pausing at the sight. He felt Medic bump into his back before moving around him to see as well.

Scout and Spy sat on the floor, two bottles of wine - one clearly empty - and a mountain of clothes sitting beside them. Both dressed in mismatched outfits and laughing with each other. Spy was the one who noticed them finally when bringing his glass up to take a drink. He paused, looking at the mess and then back at them. "We.. were not expecting anyone to return so soon."

Medic only squinted. "..Spy, are you wearing my pants?"

Scout, already drunk, snickered and then leaned over to wrap his arm around Spy's shoulders. "Yeah, he's showin' me how to, uh.. what were we doin' with all this again?"

Spy looked over at him. "You tried wearing Demoman's kilt to a bar and I was not about to let you do that."

Scout pointed at Spy, looking to Medic. "Yeah, that!"

Medic only sighed, looking between the two. His question wasn't answered, and he only had even more questions now, but he was still too upset with not having a lodge for the weekend to care. Shaking his head, he turned to head to the bedrooms, Heavy following behind him. "You two are doing laundry for a week if you spill wine on anything."

Spy waited for them to leave before turning to Scout and grinning. "Do you think we should tell them we used his shirt to mop up the wine we spilled on the floor?"

"Well, in our defense, we didn't spill it ON his shirt."

The two laughed harder into the rest of the night, plans of going out to drink long since forgotten.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #dad spy #heavymedic #bootleg jerma #kuschelbar #hello NURSE #handsome rogue #bird dads #dan writes tf2

[iloveaustinelvisandmannymore]

Ain't That Something

Pairing: Austin!Elvis x fem reader

Requested: yes.

Part 2, part 3

Warning: infidelity, unprotected sex, mirror sex, creampie, sir kink, fluff, age gap (the reader is 19, Elvis is 32), kinda sugar daddy Elvis, caught cheating, and happy ending.

You met Elvis one lonely night at the place you worked, Jackson's diner. You couldn't believe it at first but you had a job to do.

You took his order and served him without making fool of yourself. Since then he's been coming back almost every night. His blue hues watch you as you worked, taking every detail of you.

A smile on your face and a few buttons undone on the blouse of your waitress uniform, just enough to see the top of your breasts and the skirt pulled up to show off your pantyhose-covered thighs.

Elvis couldn't take it, he needs you, and by God will he have you.

You had gone to the restroom. That's when he made his move.

"Ya know It ain't nice to tease," Elvis stated leaning again the wall. You gasped and turned around, the paper towel in your hands dropped to the floor. "I-" "and don't pretend ya don't. particularly pushin' your boobs in my face when givin' me my order. Droppin' stuff, in front of my table and showing me your panties. Should be ashamed of yourself, someone otta straighten ya out." Elvis scoffed, making his way to you.

You took a gulp of courage, looking at him before muttering "Are you gonna be that someone Mr. Presley?" That seems to break any self-control he had.

Elvis's hypnotic blue eyes are now darkened with lust and want for you. He lets out a deep growl before he spun you around to face the restroom's mirror. "Tell me ya don' want this and I'll stop." No, no you didn't want him to stop. "Please, sir. Fuck me." you plead, gazing into his eyes from the mirror.

A tiny smile comes to his lips and he kisses the back of your head after that all gentleness is gone. He pushes on the small of your back forcing you to bend over the sink and tore apart your pantyhose, pulling your underwear to the side.

"Sorry, doll you teased me too long, gonna fuck this lil pussy." Elvis breathed out while he quickly made work to undo his belt. Once he pulled down his pants his cock sprang forward, hitting his stomach.

One hand on your hip and one pumping his cock "Ready darlin'?" He asked in an almost pained voice. You nod, jaw-dropping slightly at feeling his tip sliding between your wet folds. Finally, he slowly pushed into you, inch by inch, and oh does it feel like heaven,

He pulled back just as slow "oh fuck!" You cried out, watching as he slammed into your pussy, his heavy cum filled balls smacked against your poor clit. Both hands were now your hips using them to pull you back to match his brutal pace.

"Touch yourself, rub that pretty clit." Elvis groaned, his grip on your hip tightened. Instantly slide down one of your hands between your body and the sink, using two fingers to rub your clit in a circle, Elvis took your right leg and put it on the counter by the sink. The new angle made your eyes roll back as his cock now reached your G-spot harder than before.

Elvis pulls your (h/c) locks back "Watch." He growled, you looked back at the mirror and got wetter at the sight. You could see his hard-length thrusting inside and outside your already swollen pussy, your fingers still at work.

"C-close! Please let me cum, sir." you sobbed, tears running down your face.

"Cum little one," Elvis grunted feeling his end coming fast, and like a spell was cast upon you, you came the hardest you ever had in your existence. Elvis soon followed, your pussy milking his cock of all it's worth.

"Fuck!" He shouted as he paints your insides white. Panting, he slowly pulled out gazing at your pussy as his cum dripped out, and dropped to the tiled floor.

Taking a moment to brace yourself before setting your leg down. "I-i have to back to work" You stuttered and tried to make it to the door, keyword, tried. Your knees buckled sending you almost face-first onto the ground if Elvis didn't catch you by the back of your blouse. "Don' think you are in a position to work now," he boasted smirking smugly, oh how you want to kiss those pouty lips.

Shaking your head "But sir, I'll get fired if I don't..." You tailed off, playing with your hair a nervous habit that's been with you since childhood. "I'll talk to 'em darlin', and I'll drive you home. How does that sound?" Elvis reassures you in a soft voice. Nodding to his words and leaned against the wall close to the door as he went to find your manager.

'Can't believe that happened..but what now? was this a one-time thing?'

"She said you can have today and tomorrow off," Elvis said, as he walked back into the washroom "how?" You asked in disbelief your manager was such a bitch, she'd make you work even if you felt terrible. "I have my ways" he teased, winking at you.

True to his word he drove you home after you give him your address and just before you walked up to your apartment. He handed you a paper with his number on it, Since then things become history. You were Elvis's other girl.

Of course, you weren't as always happy about it, but he made up for it, like this one time after y'all had been dating for 2 months you attended one of his shows, and during love me tender he started to kiss the women, you didn't know he did this and when he reached you he didn't not only not kiss you but kissed-no made out with the woman sitting across you. You gave him a silent treatment the next day.

You were watching some tv to distract you from your thoughts, in your favorite nightie when the sound of the doorbell rang throughout the living room. You reactively got up with an annoyed groan and swung open the door to see a fancy-looking car driving away and a big gift bag on the welcome mat. With (f/c) and sliver colors in the pattern of large diagonal stripes, black gifting paper, and a white envelope poking out.

Picking up the gift, you closed and locked the door before walking to your dining/kitchen. Setting it on the fake wood surface of the table and you opened the envelope and Elvis's beautiful handwriting greets you.

Dear love.

I'm sorry for not telling you about 'love me tender' it wasn't right to do that to my pretty girl.

I have a special night planned to apologize for my actions. I rent it just for us so don't worry about anything else.

I just hope to see you in one of these when I pick you up. See you soon.

Love Elvis Presley.

And there in the card were two tickets to see the new movie you had been dying to see taped to the side. Quickly, laying the card down as excitement ran through you. Taking out the black paper and reaching down the bag to feel two soft medium-sized boxes. Once taking them out of the bag and seeing the boxes was a pretty purple shade, putting them down you opened the first, and inside was a pink pearled choker with a matching small matching earring set, and in the second was a diamond necklace with dangling earnings to match.

Needless to say, you forgive him.

Or Now as you arguing with Elvis, about Priscilla and Lisa Marie. Heated words were said which ended up with you breaking down, sobbing in his hotel bathroom. "Little one..come out, I'm sorry, and shouldn't have said what I did," Elvis sighed, silent tears falling from his Crystal eyes "I was gonna give you something tonight on our date..I want to give it to ya now. C'mon out..please?" Elvis speaks softly, wiping his tears away once he heard the door unlock and your pretty face poking out for the bathroom eyeing him warily. Elvis couldn't help the tiny smile coming to his rosy lips.

"C'mere darlin' get your present." He said as you walked to him gradually, finally, you stand before him, looking at Elvis with hurt in your eyes "Here" Elvis handed you a small ring case that he took out of his suit pants.

Your eyes widen at the beautiful ring inside " It's a promise ring, uh, I was gonna give it to you during our dinner date. It's a promise to love you for long as I live. I love you darlin'." Elvis declared and you believed him as you looked into his love-filled gaze.

"Kiss me" you breathe out, and like he was told he kissed you, your lips moving slowly against his own and his hands resting on your hips, pulling you into his chest. Let's just say you didn't make it to that dinner.

.....

You woke up to kisses being placed on your forehead, giggling softy you open your eyes to look at Elvis "what a nice way to wake up" You smiled, a thought coming to you." let me show you another nice to wake up." you flirted and straddled his lap, the black blanket slides off your bare back. 'God, he's so beautiful..' You think as you take in the sight of him below you, laying against the velvet red silk sheets, of the large king-size bed, his hair laid on his forehead and his eyes hooded with love, lust for you, pupils were blown so much you couldn't see his ocean orbs. His lips pulled into a happy smile and, oh the light coming from the window that shined upon him made him look like he was not from this world, and you were all his. You loved him.

"Well, darlin'?" Elvis teased, his big calloused hands gripping your waist. You came back to reality from his words and, well his length poking your ass. Lifting yourself to position his cock at the entrance of your already wet pussy, so wet it was dripping down on his cock. "Mama, please want to feel that perfect cunt." Elvis whined, bucking his hips upwards, trying to get inside but your hand on his pelvis stopped him from doing so.

"Say you're mine and I'll ride like you a pony," You said in a seductive tone, a smirk adorning your lips. " 'm all yours, mama" and with that, you lined him with your pussy before slamming down on his cock. "Fuck!" Elvis moans as you roll your hips in a circular motion, his hands now gripping and pulling at the sheets as you finally start to bounce.

"Well, what do we have here?" a female voice comes sounds through the room and the moment of pure ecstasy was shattered. You and Elvis gasped, you looked at the door so fast it almost hurt, and Elvis quickly sat up. There, leaning against the door with her head tilted was Priscilla Presley, she just watched you ride her husband's dick " 'Cilla i-" Elvis started to say "I don't blame you, she quite a beauty." She said honestly leaving you both speechless.

She made her way to the bed and sat beside Elvis, looking at him " I can't believe you kept her from me" Priscilla started before, she looked at you, mischief and lust? In her eyes. "By all means, don't stop on my account." She smirked.

#elvis imagine #elvis presley x reader #elvis x reader #elvis smut #austin butler #austin elvis imagine #yes #i made a pony joke #pony by ginuwine

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

So…it seems that the only company interested in hiring Meghan Markle as a brand ambassador is (drum roll)…Soho House! I’m shocked, I tell ya, shocked! Yep, the very same Soho House chain/brand that’s allegedly in financial freefall due to an unsustainable business model. I mean, Soho House = unsustainable business model. The Harkles/Archewell/Sussex.com/faux royals = unsustainable business model. They share history. H&M and Soho House are a trashy match made in heaven! The Sux have been very busy merching Soho Houses the last few months, with Markus in tow (and, uncharacteristically, very visible) in Canouan (that Caribbean island jaunt), Vancouver, Austin + every DM article also throws in a “sweet nod” merching plug for the OG Soho House London where the lovebirds first met on a Markus-pimped hook-up blind date. What goes around, comes around. Or as H would say, it’s the Circle of Life!

********

The Sussexes and Soho House are so intertwined that it wouldn’t surprise me if  (or when) one goes down, the other will too.

It’s fitting that they all need each other. Markus and Soho need Meghan because she’s the only celeb willing to be linked to Soho House these days. (Private clubs started going the way of the dodo bird during the pandemic.) Meghan needs Markus and Soho because they know all the dirty secrets and if they’re desperate enough (or she pisses them off enough), they can sell her dossier to the highest bidder.

Here’s why she’s merching/promoting Soho House these days.

#submission #sussexes

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day twenty-two!)

(it’s super duper long!!)

(told ya i’d make up for the short ones :))

“you know just regular coffee gets free refills.” you tell bakugo, who was swishing around what little liquid was in his mug, hindered by the coffee grounds.

“i don’t need a refill.” bakugo grunted. “s’almost time anyway.”

“alright. i’m surprised you made one coffee last two hours.” you smile.

“so what?” bakugo raised an eyebrow.

“nothing. just an observation.” you shrug. you glance at the clock— 6:54.

“hey, takumi, can you close today?” you turn around, watching as she did a cash drop. “i’ll do it tomorrow, i swear. i just—“

“—have a date, right.” takumi interrupted. “of course.”

“it’s not a date!” bakugo yelled furiously, the tips of his ears reddening again. “fuck off!”

“…right.” takumi matched bakugo’s glare with a perfectly blank deadpan.

“well, i’m gonna clock out early,” you announce, purposefully walking in between bakugo and takumi’s lines of sight in order to break off the apparent staring contest.

“okay.” takumi agreed, finishing the cash drop and moving aside so you could clock out.

“i’m going to go change, and then we’ll be off, sound good?” you glanced at bakugo once you finish.

“yeah, whatever.” bakugo fiddled with his empty cup once more as you left to go get your clothes and change in the bathroom.

once you emerge, you find takumi across the counter from bakugo. curious, you walk up to them.

“takumi? whatcha talking about?” you ask. takumi glanced at you, then back at bakugo.

“nothing.” she says, taking bakugo’s empty mug and heading towards the back to put it in the sink. you blink, but you don’t push it as bakugo stands up.

“c’mon, i don’t have all day.” bakugo grunted, looking you up and down briefly before shoving his hands into his pockets.

“sure you don’t.” you laugh. “let’s go, i’m ready.” bakugo grunted in response and made his way to the door. he stopped and waited for you at the door as you tried to walk and get your coat on at the same time, which was harder than it should've been.

"it's kinda chilly today." you remark as bakugo holds the door as you exit. "thank you," you add.

"yeah, whatever." bakugo averted his gaze and surveyed the city, which seemed at peace, for once. he began walking in long, brisk strides, which you had to quicken your pace to keep up with. you tighten your regrettably thin coat around yourself as you walk.

"so, ramen, huh?" you begin. "do you go here often? is ramen your favorite food?"

"one at a time, geez," bakugo tched. "i go semi-often. no, it's not my favorite."

"then what's your favorite?"

"don't have one." bakugo replied bluntly. "the closest you'll get is anything spicy."

"of course." you laugh. how fitting. bakugo paused for a moment and glanced down at you from the corner of his eye.

"...you got a favorite?"

"not particularly."

"so you're indecisive."

"kind of," you admit sheepishly. "if it counts for anything, i have favorites at specific places. just not a be-all end-all favorite."

"you're weird as hell, you know that?" bakugo said. he seemed to be scornful, but there was no denying his amusement.

"i'm pretty sure you've told me that once or twice."

"yeah, well, we're here anyway." he grunted in response, nodding towards the small shop instead of pointing, because heaven forbid he take his hands out of his pockets lest he look less cool.

you inhale deeply as you step in. it smelled amazing. the smell of ramen broth wafted through the air, letting for a warm, comforting atmosphere.

“the hell’re you waiting for?” bakugo looked back. he was already walking in. “it’s seat yourself.”

“oh. okay!” you smile, happily following after him as he finds the two of you a booth. bakugo sits, and you settle across from him in the plush cushioning of the booth.

“it’s so cozy here,” you ramble. “i love the decorations, they’re so cute, but, like, not the kind of cute you find at a cat cafe, but the kind of cute that��s like— well, i don’t really know, it’s just not the same kind of cute…” okay, so maybe you were a little bit nervous that you’d run out of things to talk about with bakugo and would inevitably be stuck in an awkward silence so you tried to prolong every topic as much as you could, but who wouldn’t? however, bakugo glanced up from the menu before closing it completely, seemingly not fooled by your efforts.

“aren’t you gonna look at the actual goddamn menu?” he tched. “dumbass.”

“oh, right.” you quickly turn to the menu, studying it closely. you pause and look up at him. “aren’t you going to do the same? you’ve hardly looked at it at all.”

“i go here a lot.” bakugo rolled his eyes. “i know what they have, and i know what i want.”

“right, my bad.” you laugh lightly. this was much more stressful than it should’ve been. you turn your attention back to the menu.

“hakata ramen.” bakugo said suddenly. “that’s what’s s’posed to be the best.”

“that sounds good,” you agree, flipping the menu over to see if there are any more options. there were. too many, really. “it’ll be nice to have something heavier since it’s cold out. what’re you getting?”

“spicy tonkotsu.”

“that sounds good, too,” you agreed, scanning the menu to see where spicy tonkotsu was.

“hello, how are you tonight?” a waitress approached the two of you, setting down two glasses of water.

“good, thanks.” you closed your menu and set it down, smiling as you turned your attention to the waitress. “you?”

“i’m well, thank you.” the waitress smiled back. “can i start you guys off with some drinks?”

“just the water.” bakugo grunted before casting a glance at you.

“water for me too, please,” you add. “and i think we’re ready to order, if you’re ready.”

“okay!” the waitress chirps. “what’ll it be?” you glance at bakugo, signaling for him to start.

“the spicy tonkotsu.” bakugo stated as he took your menu and lined it up with his, making a very tiny pile to hand to the waitress.

“and i’ll have the hakata ramen, please.” you smile. the waitress nods as she scribbled the order down.

“alright, we’ll have that out shortly.” she took the menus bakugo had been holding out. “thank you!” the woman scurried away, leaving the two of you to your devices once more.

“do you come here every day like you do the café?” you ask, sipping your water as you wait for an answer. bakugo rolls his eyes.

“maybe if i wanted to waste all my goddamn money.” he scoffed. “there’s no point in eating out every day. coffee’s cheap, so it’s fine if i do that often.”

“but… aren’t you rich?” you blurt out. “as the number one hero?” you instantly clamp your jaw shut. oh, god. why did you just ask about his financial situation? that’s so personal, who does that?!

bakugo seemed to find it amusing.

“straight to the point, hah?” he smirked, cheekily displaying his pearly whites. “not bad, dumbass.”

“i’m so sorry.” you apologized, dipping your head in shame. “that was way too personal.”

“s’not like i get any privacy, anyway.” bakugo’s smirk turned into a scowl. “fuckin’ extras dunno how to leave me alone.”

“that must be really tiresome.” you replied sympathetically.

“no shit. so goddamn lame…” bakugo grumbled, his mood soured by the thought of the paparazzi and other meddlesome groups. luckily, however, it was interrupted by your beloved food arriving.

“here you guys are.” the waitress set down the two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks. “did you guys need anything else?”

“no.” bakugo snapped.

“no, thank you,” you replied quickly after bakugo, praying she’d dismiss his attitude. “but thank you.”

“of course!” the waitress smiles, casting a glance to bakugo before leaving. “enjoy!”

the not-date went amazingly, more so than you’d expected. the food was delicious, and the conversation flowed smoothly. you learned lots about bakugo and the life of a pro-hero, and you hoped he learned a little bit about yourself. the only real “differences” you had to overcome was who was paying. bakugo ended up winning that particular battle. at the end of the date, bakugo insisted on walking you home.

“otherwise, it’ll be on me if some villain attacks you.” bakugo had grunted irritably. “so shut up.”

naturally, you thanked him for taking you out (and reminding him that you were going to pay him back for the ramen) once you’d gotten to your apartment, and he only replied with a “whatever” and a scoff. really, you didn’t think it could’ve been any more fun.

as you walk into your apartment and begin to peel off layers, you glance at the clock. it was half past nine; you’d been out for two and a half hours. you smiled to yourself. who knew bakugo could be so entertaining?

you toss your jacket on the chair in your bedroom, swearing that you’ll hang it up later (you won’t) as you change into comfier clothes. you make your way to the bathroom next, humming as you went along. once you reached it, you turned the faucet on and washed your face.

that was a good not-date. you think contentedly. you pat your face dry and stop suddenly as you look in the mirror.

“not date, huh?” you murmur. you’d been using the term all evening. were you really so inclined to deny it being a date? there could be platonic dates, couldn’t there? of course there could. you were just on one.

then why am i being so defensive about it being a date? you sigh to yourself as you made your way into the living room to plop down on the couch and turn on the tv. you flick through the channels, not sure whether you’re watching for background noise or for an actual plot line tonight. you stop suddenly on the news, despite having sworn it off. bakugo was on tv; it was a story about where he’d been. you stared at the pictures and footage they displayed of him, your eyes studying his features. he wasn’t half-bad looking.

i wonder if i like him. you ponder. maybe that’s why. you flick to the next channel. regardless of bakugo being on tv or not, you still didn’t like the news.

i guess it’s a possibility, isn’t it? you watch a cartoon for a moment to see if it’s interesting at all. it wasn’t. i’ll leave it at maybe.

“you’re weird as hell, you know that?”

tags: @k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity @jazzafaye5294 @stevenknightmarc @failingstudents-blog

#bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugo katsuki #bakugou #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugo x reader #bnha #mha #katsuki bakugo oneshot #pro hero bakugo x reader #slow burn #coffee shop au

[missdixonifyanasty]

Your favourite song part 2🫣

S M U T 🦋

Daryl stared into your eyes, you felt a shiver run down your spine, his breath hot on your face and smelling of cigarettes as he exhaled between kisses. “Daryl I really want to do this but I’m not too experienced” you admitted. You’ve kissed a few boys here and there before the world went to shit but you’d never slept with someone you genuinely cared about, someone you loved, the pressure was heavy on you to perform.

“Could’ve fooled me” he said with a smirk as he tangled both his hands in your hair. You wondered where this sudden boost of confidence came from. You lightly slapped his chest and laughed “excuse you Dixon, you’re just too easy to get to so I talk a big game” you quickly replied.

He stared at you for what felt like a minute, finally saying “we don’t have to do this ya know? We’ve got forever y/n.” You smiled at him, forever?? “Not just a manic one night stand then?” You tried to ask in a way that didn’t make you seem desperate for him, even though you so was. “Ya was made for me y/n and I’m gonna spend forever looking after you if you let me. In. Every. Way.” He replied with heavy breathing, something distracted him but you wasn’t sure what. Was it the fact his tip was bulging through his jeans perfectly placed on where you needed him or the fact his dreams were coming true.

“If you was made for me, you’d fit inside me like a puzzle” your confidence was back as soon as his chest was heaving. His jaw dropped slightly, stunned at what had just left your mouth. “only one way to find out.” He never matched your energy like this before and you was in heaven. “But just in case it’s a tight fit, I’ll be real gentle”

He scooped you off of him and carried you to the bedroom, giggling like teenagers as everything in such a fucked up world felt so blissful. When he placed you on the bed you got nervous, butterflies in your stomach and your pants. Reality set in.

You started kissing with everything in you, your teeth banging from the pure need you had for each other. His tongue danced circles around your mouth as he rapidly moved all over your neck and collarbones, glistening from his sloppy saliva. He’s an animal when he wants something. One hand above your head so that his hair dangled down and the other ripping your top off, how was he doing this one hand? More sloppy kissing between undressing, your bra now on the floor along with Daryl’s shirt. How was he doing this with one hand????. You squirmed to rip off your shorts as Daryl took care of his own clothes, your bedroom floor covered in your clothes.

You couldn’t help but stare at him, his chest and back so broad and covered in old raised scars. It gave you peace to know he felt comfortable enough for you to see him so vulnerable, it made you want him more. He flinched slightly as you traced your hands over each one “cmon woman you’re getting distracted we’ve talked about them enough” you could tell he didn’t want you to dwell on them, you’ve shared multiple conversations about your pasts and you knew it was coming but you just wanted him to know you cared and still found him beautiful.

He places himself back on top of you, slowly kissing down your core, soft kisses on your nipples and then his teeth grazed the top of your lacy pants. “Let me eat ya, princess treatment from now” he grunted at the sight of your wet affection. “Okay but I wanna see your face when you’re in it, need to hear u too” you replied. He smirked and replied “in that case”, he didn’t finish his sentence before picking you up and switching your positions and licking his lips to indicate where he wanted you “sit on it” he demanded. You blushed and slowly clambered up to his chest with shaky legs from the sound of his gruff voice telling you what to do.

His hands looped under your thighs so he could rock you to his rhythm. He ripped your pants so they fell from your body, “you’re an animal” you looked down at him, his gorgeous face encased in your heaven. He didn’t have chance to respond as he flicked your clit with his tongue, you let out a moan and he took that as a green light to suck your clit like his last cigarette. Kissing licking flicking and sucking had you trembling, your head threw back as he caught it “look at me y/n”. Your mouth dropped open in arousal as you did what he said. “Good girl. That’s it” Just when you thought you couldn’t last much longer he repositioned himself his nose taking over from his tongue as it tickled your clit when he put his tongue flat inside you. He was taking everything you had and had no remorse, his moans vibrating deep into you making you sweat and sing his name. “D- Daryl. I- I’m gonna come” he looked dead into your eyes and began rocking you back and forth dragging your dripping pussy all over his mouth and chin. “Oh D please, please I need to come” you screamed as you nails dug into his flexed shoulder blades.

“Anything for ma pretty girl” he said and immediately found his rhythm again, it took seconds for you to finish. Your high came and it came HARD. Your hands pulling his hair making him moan against your walls that were tightening by the second. You’d never felt anything like it, Years of rubbing yourself to the thought of Daryl wouldn’t have prepared you for this. He was demon and you were an angel in comparison. He smirked as you let go of his hair and climbed off of him with shaky legs and your chest heaving.

He stuck his tongue out all cocky to show you the mess you made on him then swallowed and kissed your head. You didn’t know what to say, you’d never seen this confidence to him. “Ya come good for me” he broke the silence, “as if it wasn’t obvious” you stuttered.

“Ya taste unreal, here try it yourself” he plunged his tongue into your mouth and you was speechless. “See” he smirked. He stroked your cheek and smiled “ I love ya ya know pretty girl” a new nickname immediately attached itself to you at the hands of Daryl. “I love ya too Dixon”

You prepared yourself to take him, but he stopped you. “It’s about you today, we’ve got forever”

He got into bed next to you and and pulled you close to him, you were still in shock. “Soo, ya think I can stay the night” he smirked. You snuggled into him and answered his question, “only if I can return the favour in the morning” he beamed a smile so big you could feel his cheekbones move on the top of your head. “Deal” he pulled you into a spoon and you could feel his excitement for the morning all. Night. Long.

#daryl fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl imagines #daryl dixon smut #daryl x you #daryl x y/n #daryl dixion x reader #daryl dixon

[thesherrinfordfacility]

i'm going into blathering oaf mode which i need to type out because otherwise i will literally sit and stare at a blank wall full monkey cymbals instead of doing work that, ya know, pays the bills

buckle up, i think ur going to want to read this one (and if not obvious by the Read More, spoilers ahead)

right im watching s1 again because it is literally my comfort show and i will have it on in the background whilst im working

and im on Hard Times (ep3) and it's just got to the You Go Too Fast for me Crowley scene which obviously HEARTBREAKING

but it just suddenly occurred to me - when we leave the 1941 scene, it feels like the metaphorical ice has been broken and they've like non-verbally agreed to let go of the Holy Water Tantrum

and on top of that we see aziraphale realise he's in love with crowley, and THEN we see the dinner scene in the s2 trailer like solidifies that theyre all cosy and bashful and intimate and seem to have certainly forgotten the whole argument

BUT THEN we get to the 60s scene. and suddenly there's atmosphere. there's suddenly tension. it's awkward and cold and almost a bit nasty. and there is absolutely no reason for it, if you judge only on the linear events given to us in ep3

(EDIT: i watched it again last night and the only other reason i can think of for az being such an arse is that he found out about the robbery by hearsay and not directly from crowley which ok yeah is plausible absolutely and probably the reason for all of it but sOMETHING in my hind brain is just nagging at me that it's more than that so i stand by the following musing....... you may proceed)

what the fuCK happens in that dinner scene??? what in the last circle of hELL prompts az to come up with the "you go too fast for me Crowley" line????

because im telling ya, im betting my last vestige of sanity, that it is NOT the holy water thing

im fairly certain that there's going to be a discussion of the holy water thing in the dinner scene, i think that's a given - when you take into account that az's gut reaction to Crowley asking for holy water was to refuse him because ✨IT WOULD KILL CROWLEY✨, i think that is going to be discussed in that dinner scene

but

BUT.

ahem

i full pussy, honestly and truly (but absolutely fine if im proven wrong), will die by this BELIEVE that there's going to be an a love confession of Some Sort from one of them

Let's face it ---- probably from crowley ("why did you save my books?" "...")

in this scene.

going a step beyond that, i even think there might be a move made from crowley (not The Kiss, mainly because the costume/hair doesn't match but also doesn't seem like the right one) but like maybe he leans in or crowds into az a little too close in this dinner scene and it's going to absolutely scare the beejesus out of az

HE. 💔 GOES. 💔 TOO. 💔 FAST. 💔

like az has literally just realised he feels something that, let's be real, he SHOULD NOT feel bc a) he's an angel and b) crowley is a demon.

but then crowley alludes to having feelings for az? possibly suggest to him that he has for ThousANDS of years???? and that he saved his books because he knew it was important to az????????

nopenopenope toO FAST BOY

az is an angel. opposite side to crowley. literally challenges everything az believes about being an angel and belonging to heaven. this could mean he falls. nopenopenope. too fast.

this is literally the onLY reason i can think of that would result in what appears to be a lovely cute scene, where az is quite blatantly moon eyeing crowley over a bottle of chateau, but immediately swings 30 years later to being cold and distant and "You Go Too Fast for me Crowley"

i will live and die by this, so help me god

and now....... discuss

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #azicrow #like the tone difference between the nazis and the 70s scene always irked me before #and now the s2 trailer has come out it was a veritable light bulb moment #as for the other Kiss i think thats when az finally confesses to crowley #it just has to be im not accepting anything else #good omens speculation

[avionvadion]

Part Five of "I have no self control so here ya go"

Warning: El isn’t affected by the song magic in Hell/Heaven so she ends up singing whatever songs she knows from her time on earth. In this chapter, it's "Follow Me" and "Can We Make This Work".

They stood in silence for quite some time after Lucifer finished singing, the instruments dying away as softly as his voice. 

When the silence finally broke, it was by the King of Hell himself, who was staring down at the snake tattoo with such conflicted eyes. “I… I can’t act as your husband- contract be damned. But…” He looked at Eleanora, giving her a teary-eyed smile. “I can be your friend. I won’t let anything or anyone in Hell hurt you. Just call my name, and I’ll be there. The pattern on your finger will summon me.” 

“…O-Okay. I, um…” 

Eleanora looked uncomfortable, to Lucifer’s surprise. He watched her shuffle her feet, her cheeks a bright red and her eyes puffy from crying as hard as she did. 

“I can’t… act as your wife, so… that works. I-I can do friendship, though! Friendship is… good. But, uh…” 

“Yes?” He asked softly, squeezing her hands. “What is it?” 

She tugged her hands out of his, covering the tattoo on her left ring finger as she gave him a bit of a dirty look. “Did you have to break my phone!?” 

Ah. Yes. That. “W-Well, I mean, it was clearly hurting you-“ 

“That was my only connection to Earth!” Eleanora cried. Lucifer flinched, lips curling back as he pulled away to rub his neck. “I-I don’t have any other way to see if my siblings are okay!” 

“Chances are you aren’t ever gonna see ‘em again, Ellie.” Lucifer stated, and he tried to ignore the slight guilt he felt upon seeing the sheer pain that flashed across her face. He knew he was being a bit harsh, but it was a truth she needed to come to terms with. God was punishing her for a reason, and that reason was because she was doomed from the start. “It’s… It’s best to forget about them. You can always make a new family down here, like I did.” 

“…Yeah, except, in case you’ve already forgotten-“ She snapped her left hand up, pointing dramatically at her ring finger. “I’m married to you now! You and Charlie are literally my new family!” 

“Ah, yeaaaah, that’s…” Ahem. Whoops. “My bad. I-I phrased things wrong… but hey! It’ll work out! Maybe. Charlie seems to like you well enough.” 

Eleanora froze, her eyes growing wide. She stared at Lucifer in horror. “No… oh, no, no, no! We are not telling Charlie what happened!” She waved her hands in the air, crossing her arms over her chest in an X. “We are not telling Charlie we accidentally married each other!” 

Lucifer thought about it, wondering what the problem was- it was just an accident, these things happen sometimes- before realizing that maybe Charlie wouldn’t take the news of her estranged father unintentionally remarrying to the cute human she took in under her wing when she’s still processing the divorce. 

That isn’t why Eleanora was saying that, of course, but he didn’t know that. 

Lucifer himself also wasn’t taking his divorce well, and remarrying was quite frankly the last thing on his mind, but it just happened and he was going to have to deal with it. Unfortunately, that also meant figuring out what to tell Charlie. 

Dread pooled in the pit of his stomach and he brought his hands up to his face, starting to panic. “So… what? What do we tell her? We just have matching tattoos on our ring fingers? Ha! Haha! Like that'll go over well!” 

“It’s just- It’s just-! Okay, look.” Eleanora ruffled her hair, pacing in circles for a moment, before moving to stand in front of Lucifer, holding her hands out. “Breathe! Okay? We got this. We’ll just… tell her it’s part of the deal we made! Kinda like the pact mark, but it goes both ways!” 

“…It does go both ways.” 

Eleanora paused. “Huh?” 

Lucifer was rather flustered as he grabbed the rim of his hat, trying to hide his face with it. “It’s a… marking forged through a magical contract. Should you call my name, I’ll appear, but… should I call your name… you’ll appear. A two way summon.”  

“…Oh.” She made a face. “Huh. I guess… that makes sense. Okay.” 

“Yeah…” 

“So that’s it then!” Lucifer blinked and lifted his head upon hearing Eleanora’s exclamation, the human clapping her hands together with a big grin. “That’s what we’ll tell Charlie! It’s the result of our deal- so you can summon me whenever you need assistance with… whatever, and so I can summon you if I’m ever about to be attacked! And it’s… on the left ring finger, because it’s closest to the heart!”

She has no idea if that was fact or just a superstition, but that’s what she was going to go with. 

Lucifer was stunned. “Wowie, that’s a… wow. You really just made that super simple.” 

She winked and flashed him another finger gun. “You’re~ welcome! Now, uh…” 

Eleanora sniffled and rubbed at her face, grimacing. 

“You don’t… happen to have a bathroom nearby I can borrow real quick, do you? Charlie and Vaggie will freak if they see my puffy eyes, so~ I’d kinda like to wash my face? Pretty please?” Her gaze drifted to the ground, and biting her lip she knelt down, picking up the shattered pieces of her phone. She choked up when she grabbed the case. It was miraculously undamaged. “Thanks for… not destroying this, at least. It’s…” 

Eleanora lowered her head, a lump caught in her throat. 

“It’s a gift. Was a gift. From… my oldest sister.” She turned the case over, gazing at the blue flowers, white owls, purple berries, and forget-me-nots that decorated it. An emptiness settled in her chest, heart already yearning for the texts she had once dreaded. “I’m still… mad, but… thanks for not destroying this, at least.” 

Lucifer observed her for a moment, before kneeling down beside her. He reached out to pick up a shard of glass, his voice quiet. “Father was punishing you.” 

Eleanora lifted her gaze, curious where he was going with this. 

“You aren’t supposed to be down here in Hell. And then, on top of it all, you made a pact with my daughter… a Hellborn.” 

The devil king shifted the glass between his thumb and forefinger, catching sight of the brunette’s reflection. 

He looked up at her. “Had you been an Angel, Father would have tossed you down here like he did me. But he couldn’t; so, as you’re a human, he went for the next best thing…” Lucifer scooped up more glass and held it out to the woman, who was staring down at it with furrowed brows and pained, understanding eyes. “By tormenting you with what you love most. To make you regret coming to Hell, for not dying upon arrival.”

Eleanora’s lips curled back, her jaw clenching tight, and then she turned away, holding her phone case close to her chest. Lucifer tilted his hand and let the shards of glass fall, before waving a hand and erasing them in a small blast of golden flame. 

He stood, but not without offering a hand out to the woman- who startled and gazed up at him with those big doe brown eyes of her. Lucifer almost found himself getting lost in them until she set her hand in his. 

Snapping out of his daze, he tugged her onto her feet and then turned away, coughing awkwardly into his fist. “So~! Uh… haha… ahem. You wanted to wash your face? This way, Little Blue!” 

“Oi-“ 

“Ellie!” Lucifer quickly corrected himself, marching through the room and towards the intricately designed double doors. Picking up his cane along the way, he waved it and the doors swung open. The short king gestured with a flourish to the hall outside. “Follow~ me!” 

“Follow, follow, follow,” She mumbled, dragging her feet, “but the truth is hard to swallow…” 

“What’s that?” The man asked, beaming at her. 

Eleanora shrugged, looking quite tired. “Just a song.” 

“Ah.” Lucifer brightened. “I like songs!” 

She almost snorted, walking by him and then beside him as he began to guide her through the castle. “Not this one. It’s pretty~ messed up. It’s about a guy in purple who kills a bunch of kids, stuffs them inside animatronic suits, and then dies in a springlock suit himself after their ghosts come back to haunt him.” 

The look Lucifer gave her then, disturbed in every sense of the word, was utterly delightful. He literally leaned away from her to stare at her in horror. “Why were you singing that!?” 

“Because.” She grinned. “It’s called, Follow Me. Also, it’s catchy.” 

He stuck his lips out, scrunching up his face. “I can’t believe we’re married now.” 

Eleanora just held her hands up in the air, before waving them goofily and raising her eyebrows as she started casually singing, back marching a circle around him. “Follow me! Then you’ll see~! Follow, follow, follow, follow, but the truth is hard to swallow~ follow me! Then you’ll see!” She jumped back and pointed at him. “Follow, follow, follow, follow! Follow me, see a nightmare in action!” 

At that last part, she very quickly moved her arms in a robotic dance. Body bent sideways, she looked up at Lucifer, anticipating a reaction, letting her arm swing and hang, and burst into rambunctious laughter upon seeing his dumbfounded expression. 

Hand to her lips, she continued giggling, snorting a couple times in her laughing fit. “Y-Your face-! Pfft- ahaha! Oh, that’s priceless. Ahaha!” 

Lucifer turned around, scowling, tapping his cane against the ground as he walked. “Five minutes in and I already want a divorce…” 

“Ha!” Stifling her laughter, she chased after him. “How do you think I feel!?” 

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, and despite his better judgment… he smiled. Lucifer’s lips tugged up into a fond grin, and he rolled his eyes at her as they turned a corner. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“Well, shucks, I’m so glad you noticed!” 

“Believe me, I wish I didn’t.” 

“Ha!” 

They walked a bit longer, and then Eleanora’s feet began to slow. Noticing she was falling behind, Lucifer came to a halt. Looking over his shoulder, he paused, turning to see what had caught her attention only to flinch. 

Right. They were in that hall. 

The one where the walls were covered in portraits of him and his ex wife, Lilith. An extremely tall and curvaceous beauty, with long flowing blonde hair and piercing silver eyes. For thousands upon thousands of years they were together, spending an eternity in Hell, serving their unfair punishment together, and now… she was gone. Lucifer was alone. 

“She’s pretty.” Eleanora commented, looking unsure of what else to say. 

Well, maybe not alone, but…

“You’re prettier, though.” 

Lucifer’s eyes went as wide as they could go and he whipped his head around, alarmed and very much baffled by what he just heard. “Excuse me!? Wh-What did you just-!? You did not just say that. Did you?” 

The brunette shrugged, shoving her hands into her pockets so she wouldn’t flail them around while talking. “What? It’s true. She’s gorgeous, buuut…” Eleanora tilted her head, eying him and glancing up at the photo and then looking back at him. “Not as gorgeous as you.” 

Lucifer gaped. “Do… Do you need glasses?” 

“Um, no. Do you need a mirror?” He just squinted an eye and raised a brow, gazing at her in utter disbelief. Eleanora huffed and let out a sigh, before resting a hand on her waist and moving the other about in the air. “Okay… listen. I don’t… I don’t know what caused the divorce, I don’t intend on asking about it, I know it’s a sensitive subject. But… my good sir, seriously, you are gorgeous.”

She fixed him with a look and Lucifer blinked, taken aback by the intensity of her gaze. He could feel his cheeks burn a little, his heart simultaneously aching and thumping at her next words.  

“If… it was in any way her who brought up the talks first, then… I’m sorry, but she done messed up.” Eleanora gestured to him, baffled by Lilith’s decision. “You’re gorgeous. You also love your daughter- which one would think would be an obvious thing for a father to do, but you’d be surprised, so it’s actually really nice to see and honestly it kinda makes me respect you more, and from what I’ve learned this past week you’re also just a pretty decent person in general. It’s her loss.” 

Lucifer closed his eyes, pain flitting across his features, before he found himself looking up at one of the portraits again. “You say that, but… all I feel is the loss of her. I-“ 

He bit his bottom lip, then sighed. 

“I don’t think this is going to work, Ellie. I don’t…” Lucifer shook his head, turning to face her. “I think… we should forget the contract. I’ll help you survive Hell as long as you help me with Charlie, but… everything else…” 

Eleanora’s brown eyes bore into his for a moment. She slowly looked up at a portrait of Lilith and Lucifer. Her brows furrowed, and she hesitated before looking down at the phone case in her hands. 

Her thumb brushing against the details on the back, she took a deep breath and quietly began, “How could I be~ oh, so naive? Foolishly thinking there’s more to this life for me...”

The devil king snapped his head up, surprised. 

“Two broken hearts… right from the start~ watching the dreams that we have as they fall apart.” Eleanora ruffled her hair, starting to look more at ease with randomly singing as she moved to face Lucifer, lowering her hand and walking over to him only to stop and stand beside him, her back facing his as she cradled the phone case close to her chest. “This will~ never~ work, even trying feels insane…” 

She glanced at him from over her shoulder, and Lucifer’s red eyes widened, growing misty at the pure despair that wrote across her face. 

“This will~ only~ hurt, don’t you feel the same?” 

“…I feel it, too.” He stated softly, singing over his shoulder from beside her. “But what can I do? I’m just the devil who’s trapped in this Hell with you.” At that, a thought came to mind, tearing through the heartache as he observed her and her fragile, barely-held-together self. Lucifer didn’t want the divorce with his ex wife; he still loved her deeply, and it crushed most of what little life remained in him. But Eleanora wasn’t Lilith. “Maybe with time~ something will change~?”

She was a human, but… not a fallen one. 

Perhaps she will be, if things continue as they have and they can’t get her back home. If that’s the case, then she’ll be trapped here forever- just like him- and without a way to break the contract- a way that doesn’t involve hurting his little girl- then divorce wasn’t exactly an option with her. Lucifer and Eleanora would be bound for the rest of eternity- not by love, but by oath.

“Making the best of this might be the only way!” Cane tapping against the floor, hands gripping the apple-shaped handle, Lucifer turned to face the brunette fully, his red eyes lighting up with a determination that wasn’t there previously. “Can we~ make this~ work~?”

At his words, Eleanora turned her head to meet his stare, the pain in her eyes so similar to his own, yet different all the same. When she sang next, it was with him, their voices blending surprisingly well despite Eleanora’s struggle to keep her voice and volume steady enough to match his. “Even trying feels insane!” 

“Maybe,” Lucifer continued, lips curling back, “when it~ hurts…”

“We’ll be worth the pain!” 

No sooner had they finished the line did Eleanora storm past him, hands moving about in a frustrated fashion, her right one gripping the phone case tight. 

A desperation rooted itself in her voice, followed closely by a barely restrained anger. “There are too many questions~! Too little time! Too much to ask for~ the rest~ of my~ life!” 

“It’s a mountain~ too high to climb!” Lucifer agreed with her, watching her as she paced the hall and stopped, her back facing him once more- yet, this time, the devil king wasn’t turned away from her. Lucifer was looking right at her. “Too many voices~ filling me with doubt~! Can you hear them now…?” 

Eleanora lowered her head, letting out a defeated sigh, before looking back at the short king. “It’s hard to have faith…“

“It’s hard to believe~!” Lucifer sang, slowly walking towards her upon seeing her completely turn around, her feet walking in time to the beat as they approached one another. When their gazes met, a mutual kind of misery was realized, the empathy they held for each other far stronger than it should be due to their unique situation. 

Together, they sang, “Our future holds more~ than what we can see!” 

“We have to trust,” Eleanora lamented, “what we don’t understand…” 

Lucifer and Eleanora stopped directly in front of one another, disdain for their fates clear in their voices. “It could be a part of God’s plan!” 

“Can we~?” Lucifer gripped his cane tightly with both hands, lips pulling back in a tight frown.

Eleanora’s eyes welled up with tears. “Can we~?” 

“Make this~!”

“Make this~!”

“Work? I know trying feels insane!” 

Lucifer hesitated, then offered out a hand towards the brunette, who startled at the sight of it. She clearly wasn’t expecting him to reach out to her first. “Maybe~?”

“Maybe…” She hesitantly reached out, resting her hand in his. 

“When it~!” His fingers coiled around hers, squeezing them gently, and Eleanora inhaled sharply. 

“When it…”

“Hurts~!”

“We’ll be worth the pain!” 

The human woman lifted her head, her gaze meeting Lucifer’s own, and a silent conversation passed between them, an understanding of each other’s situation and the feelings they held towards it settling in their hearts. Eleanora’s lips curled back, and Lucifer offered her a small, if not pitiful, smile. 

“Can we~ make thiiiiiis~ woooork~?” They asked, staring into each other’s eyes, searching for some kind of sign. “Can we~ make thiiiiis~ wooooork~!?” 

Eleanora ended the song a little bit earlier than Lucifer, unused to holding such long notes, and she breathed heavily as he softened his gaze and smiled at her, his expression sad yet accepting. 

She froze when he tugged her forward, wrapping his arms around her in a sudden hug. 

Her senses were immediately bombarded with the scent of coffee and sweets- specifically, something almost like… caramel popcorn? Or, wait, no- caramel apples, maybe? He was eating caramel coated peanuts earlier. 

She kind of liked it. 

Oh, wait, frick- hug! 

Does she hug back? She probably should, shouldn’t she? 

A little confused and more than just a bit awkward at the abrupt embrace, Eleanora tentatively wrapped her arms around the King of Hell’s waist and tensed, freezing up when she felt him bury his face in the exposed curve of her neck. She could feel what she was certain was tears against her skin, his hair tickling her skin just slightly. Lucifer was holding her so tight she knew there’d be no pushing him away. 

But… 

She didn’t really want to push him away.  This feels like something she definitely shouldn’t be doing, but… it was nice. Warm. Eleanora sorely needed a hug, and while she was fond of Charlie and Vaggie they just… didn’t quite understand. Lucifer did, though. He’s gone through the same thing. And… he clearly needed a hug just as bad as she did. 

His waist was much more snatched than she was expecting, but she coiled her arms around him and his back and gave him a firm squeeze, curling her lips back as she rested her head against his. Her voice was weak as she choked out, “You smell like candy.” 

“You smell like the hotel.” Was Lucifer’s strangled retort, the man barely able to make himself speak. “Those rooms are in serious need of a good clean.” 

“Oh, thanks!” Eleanora laughed, hiccuping a little in her emotional state. She felt him hold her tighter, and she rested her chin on his shoulder. “I don’t wanna smell like an attic, either, y’know. Charlie worked real hard to get the hot water running. Just be glad I can shower.” 

“Hmph.” Lucifer held onto her for a minute longer before begrudgingly letting go, pulling back and rubbing his eyes, not quite meeting her stare. “You’re ridiculous.” 

She just grinned, leaning over with her hands on her waist. “Says you! You’re totally quackers!” 

Lucifer froze, the joke taking a second to register, and when it did he looked up- not at all bothered by how close their faces were, although Eleanora’s face was a bit pink upon noticing after he turned to face her. His lips tried to tilt downwards, but in the end they spread in a large toothy smile, his fangs in full view. “Ha! That one was actually good!” 

“So you’re finally acknowledging I’m hilarious?” 

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t go that far.” He teased, waving his cane and tapping her shoulder with it before walking through the hall again, the brunette following after him. “I still think you’re just a touch off.” 

She made a face. “Bah. You’re just jealous of my incredible puns.” 

“Mmhm.” Lucifer raised his eyebrows, thoroughly amused, glancing to the side to see her walking beside him. “If that’s what you want to believe, I’ll allow it.” 

Eleanora sputtered, but wasn’t able to come up with a retort before Lucifer came to a halt in front of a pair of very elegant double doors that had a golden apple engraved in its wood. She looked up at it with big eyes, as if finally remembering she was in the King of Hell’s castle, before looking at the devil himself when he snapped his fingers, facing her with a grin. 

“Here ya go, Ellie. I’ll, uh… wait for you out here.” 

“I’m just washing my face.” She said, furrowing her brows, before watching as he stepped to the side and leaned against the wall, cane held with both hands. “...O-Okay. Thank you. I’ll… try to be quick.” 

He nodded at her, and Eleanora entered the massive bathroom, closing the doors behind her. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, leaning back against the doors as she pressed a hand to her chest. 

Eleanora needed to calm the frick down. Taking a few deep breaths, she lowered her gaze to the case in her hand, her lips drawing into a thin line. Heart dropping heavily into her stomach, she sighed and tucked it into her pocket, slowly coming to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t be able to read anymore of her siblings messages. 

It had been… cruel of Lucifer to break her phone without asking her, but she understood why he did it. 

Reading them, day after day, was eating away at her, threatening to break her mind and crush her spirit. By breaking the phone, Lucifer was sparing her from further torment- saving her from the day the messages would stop appearing. It was a mercy. A cruel mercy, perhaps, but… still a mercy. 

She dragged her feet over to the ridiculously fancy sink and turned on the faucet, holding her fingers under it and waiting for the water to heat up. The brunette splashed her face and rubbed her eyes, sniffling, only to pause and lift up her left hand, eying the snake and thorny ring that had coiled around her ring finger. 

I’m… never going to make it back home, am I? 

Eleanora is going to be trapped in Hell forever. Even if she somehow made it back home, she wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what happened- or what she’s been through. Her parents would either disown her or toss her to a mental hospital, and her siblings would just think she had been so traumatized she started making up stories in an attempt to rationalize what happened to her. 

I… behaved all my life. Sure, she may have been a bit angry as a child due to the mistreatment she suffered at the hands of her relatives, but she’s never hurt anyone. She never hurt herself. I didn’t drink, I didn’t… do drugs, I never… did anything. 

Yet she’s now married to the devil. 

She’s now living in Hell. 

Eleanora genuinely has no idea where she went wrong. 

Is it… because I did no wrong? 

Like Lucifer had said, others made their choices and now the two of them are stuck here in Hell. They might have made a couple mistakes along the way, but they never did anything wrong. Not really. He had been looked down upon, dismissed, abandoned, and when he tried to prove his ideas had merit Heaven completely discarded him. Eleanora was just existing, barely living day-to-day as her health issues brought her down, simply trying to keep breathing. She didn’t give into pressure or greed. She merely… existed.  

Vaggie said… it was a reverse summoning circle, so… 

Sure, she may not have been a saint, but she may have been just Good enough that things backfired on her, dragging her down here. The demon spun a roulette wheel, and of the Good humans it was Eleanora that got shot out and dropped into Hell. 

I need another look at the contract. 

Eleanora splashed her face one more time, trying to rub the puffiness out of her eyes, before drying off her face and taking a deep breath, gathering her courage to go back outside. She closed the doors behind her as quietly as she could, nearly jumping at the sight of Lucifer staring at her, the man having stood up straight when he saw her walk out. “I-I’m done. You… wanna go wash your face, too, or…?” 

He blinked, then gave a tired shrug, letting out a small yawn as he walked by her to enter the bathroom. The doors closed, and then about two minutes later he walked back out, fixing his hat. “Let’s go back to my office. We still have some things to talk about… I think.” 

“You mean about the contract?” 

Lucifer waved a hand. “We need to go over it closely. Figure out what all the rules are.” 

Ah.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinking.” She folded her arms over her chest as she walked with the short king, tilting her head thoughtfully. Lucifer looked oddly amused when he glanced over at her. “I thought it sounded a little weird when I read it, but I thought maybe I was just overthinking it? Because, like, I mean, how would I know how magical contracts work? But nope! It was weird! And now we’re… here.” 

Eleanora gestured to the two of them and huffed. 

“I wanna know exactly what the terms are. We’re gonna have to read this bull in the most literal sense ever. I think I know which line screwed us over, too!” 

“Ooh~!” Lucifer let out a small whistle and eyed her closely, intrigued. “Do you?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded, movements stiff but firm. Eleanora was confident in her theory. “It’s the one where you said I’d help you look after Charlie. I think you combined it into one sentence with the whole “providing me a comfortable life” bit. Oh! Wait! We’re here! Let’s go, let’s go!” 

Eleanora rushed forward upon spotting familiar doors, pulling one back by the handle and keeping it wide open for Lucifer, holding an arm out and gesturing with a bow and a flourish for him to enter. 

“Your~ Majesty!” 

The blond king laughed, grin a little crooked as he dipped down and tipped his hat at her. “Why, thank you! How kind of you, Miss Ellie.” 

“Aw, shucks.” She waved a hand at him, acting like she was super touched by his words. “Just happy to help.” 

Lucifer snickered, and Eleanora joined in on the laughter as she followed him into the room. To her surprise, he proceeded to pull out a chair for her to sit down in, now choosing to be the one to gesture dramatically to the seat. “M’lady.” 

Eleanora feigned a gasp, fanning her face and walking over to sit in the seat, praying her theatrics disguised how flustered she actually was at him joining in with her silliness. “My good sir! What a gentleman! Truly, such a fine specimen of man you are.” 

“Specimen!?” He choked, a strangled laugh on his lips. “Goodness, I’ve never heard that saying before!” 

“Wait, really?” Eleanora watched him take a seat across from her, Lucifer snapping his fingers and preparing them another pot of fresh hot tea. She watched with big eyes as a kettle appeared and began to boil in midair, before pouring into the tea leaves and filling the elephant teapot in a matter of seconds. With a wave of his index finger, the kettle vanished and the teapot landed on the table, and then he was pouring her another cup. “I mean, I guess that makes sense…” 

Lucifer hummed, handing her the saucer and cup, before pouring himself a cup and adding a few sugar cubes and some milk into it. “Does this have something to do with the men in your country being, ah…” He scrunched up his face, lifting his cup to his lips, setting his cane to the side and wiggling his fingers at her. “”Morons and playboys”, was it?” 

“And creeps.” She added, awkwardly taking a few sugar cubes for herself and stirring them in. Eleanora refused to meet his gaze. “Abusive jerks who like to manipulate and torment and cheat on their partners. It’s a whole thing. Anyways.” 

Eleanora tapped the spoon against the teacup to get rid of the last few droplets before setting it down on a napkin, looking up at the devil king with a blatantly forced smile. 

“The contract?” 

Lucifer waved his hand and the contract appeared in a burst of golden light. It floated onto the table. Eleanora was quick to get up and move so she could stand beside a surprised Lucifer, figuring they should read it together. 

“Dadada~ uh-huh…” The brunette leaned over the table, much like she had done when she was helping him at the desk yesterday when he was trying to write the letter for his daughter. Lucifer tensed, eyes wide at the close proximity and the view of her exposed neck and collarbone. 

It baffled him how unaware she seemed to be of her own attractiveness, because she had absolutely no qualms getting so close to him and posing in such ways that would tempt a lesser person. 

Lucifer forced himself to turn his head and watch as she ran a finger across the parchment. “Aha! Knew it! See here?” 

He blinked and sat up a bit straighter, leaning forward to read the line she was pointing at. 

“”For as long as the human, Eleanora, remains in Hell, she shall help Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, look after his daughter, Charlie Morningstar, and he shall guarantee her safety and make her life as comfortable as is within his power”.” 

Lucifer squinted, frowning deeply. He looked up to see Eleanora leaning against the table, one hand on her hip while she raised her right index finger in the air, looking quite proud that her theory was right. 

“I mean, the phrase, “help him look after his daughter”?” She said, raising her brows. “Practically screams co-parenting. Who usually co-parents? Married couples! Not to mention the whole, ”make her life as comfortable as is within his power” bit. Might as well just be inviting me to move in with you! Y’know. Like a man would his potential wife?” 

“And… you didn’t think to mention any of this when I asked you to read it?”

Eleanora faltered then, her cheeks burning red, and she stammered, looking quite embarrassed and a little ashamed of herself. “I-I told you, I thought it was weird but-! I don’t know! How was I supposed to know it’d screw us over!? Besides, you’re the one wrote it!” 

“You could’ve said something!” He exclaimed, standing up, his palms against the table. 

“L-Like what!?” Eleanora demanded, leaning back, mildly intimidated when he moved closer, his right hand rather close to her hip. “”Hey, Mister King, this contract sounds like you’re asking me to marry you”!?” 

Lucifer sputtered. His porcelain white face was red. “I-It- yes!? No!? Maybe! Just… something!” 

“Okay! “Hey, Your Majesty”!” She turned to face him, sarcasm dripping from her tongue in her frustration, her stress getting the best of her after the day she’s had. The woman stepped closer so their chests were almost touching. It was Lucifer’s turn to lean back, flustered by the proximity. “”Maybe you should rephrase that statement! It sounds suspiciously like a marriage proposal”!” 

“It wasn’t intentional!” Lucifer’s voice raised in a panicked growl, and Eleanora yelped when she found herself being pinned against the table, the King of Hell having lunged forward, his irises flashing yellow and his sclera red. 

His hands on either side of her prevented escape, and she struggled to remain standing, elbows propped up and her poor feet forced on their toes. Eleanora was breathing heavily, chest heaving as she gazed up at him with big eyes. 

Lucifer’s face was as red as her own, one of his legs having gotten tangled between hers from the sudden movement. For as close as they’ve gotten while singing, it had never been quite like this. “I… I was just…” 

Fuck. 

Lucifer blinked, realizing he could feel the heat from her body radiating against his and what position they were in. His mouth felt dry, and it took all his self-control to keep his eyes focused on her own. It truly felt like another type of punishment, he must admit, after being alone for so long and suddenly tossed into a situation like this. He was depressed, he was lonely, and while he wanted to find a friend in this human there was no denying he wanted her. 

There was no love here- a growing fondness, perhaps… but not love. What Lucifer felt was pure lust. A desire for touch and for contact. To have this human for himself, and to bask in the warmth and comfort she gave. 

And he hated himself for it. 

“D-Distracted…” 

He was supposed to be the sin of pride, yet so much of his pride has been crushed, and now he’s fallen so low, so desperate for affection and attention, that he’s lusting for this random human who fell into his accursed home and whom he ended up trapped in a marriage contract with. 

Oh. 

Did Lucifer do this? Was it actually intentional? 

Maybe not to the point where he wanted them to be bound together in marriage, but intentional enough so he could keep someone by his side? He didn’t think much of Eleanora when they first met, other than finding it absolutely ridiculous that a human ended up in Hell, but she always answered his calls no matter the time of day and always answered his questions. She offered him advice, and even after he abducted her in a panic she genuinely tried to help him. 

She comforted him, encouraged him, and gave him confidence when he wanted to run away. 

After Lucifer went home, the letter delivery and even dinner with Charlie going well, he immediately started trying to set things up for the human woman- absorbed in the distraction and lost in the work. He spent all night trying to figure out how to set up the room for when Charlie came over, and whether or not he should make a contract with Eleanora to guarantee her safety. 

He had been so tired when he called the human the next morning, but was so delighted when she picked up. 

All he could think about while writing the contract was how much he was starting to enjoy having company again, and how he wanted it to last. How he was… dreading sending her back to the hotel. 

Her stare had been so intense, too, watching him closely as he spoke and wrote the details of their deal. He found himself saying some rather flirtatious things in his exhaustion, not really thinking it through, simply lost in those big doe brown eyes of hers. 

Now she was… trapped. 

Lucifer trapped her. 

Shit. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but found his voice had left him. Eleanora was frozen beneath him, practically holding her breath as she waited to see what he was going to say or do. She was like a deer cornered by a giant serpent, caged in its massive tail and staring down its fangs, eyes wide, preparing herself to face whatever fate was in store for her. 

She claimed he was one of the “good ones”, but… 

Was he really? 

Lucifer forced himself to pull back, movements stiff and awkward as he lifted his hands and stepped back. “F-Forget it. I didn’t- ahem. How would you know? Haha! You are just a human. You wouldn’t know how deals o-or magic or… about how anything works down here, really!” He rubbed his neck with one hand, and fiddled with his bowtie and collar with his other. “S-So, forget about it. It’s fine. We’ll… make it work. Somehow. A-As friends or… otherwise.” 

“O-Okay…” Eleanora’s voice squeaked, and Lucifer’s gaze immediately shot over to look at her from the corner of his eyes. She cringed, but there was no hiding the way her face had flushed all the way to her ears. He could see her worrying her bottom lip, and he tried to ignore the thought he had of biting it himself. “F-Friends… work.” 

Right. Yeah. 

Lucifer gave another stiff nod. He made a mental note to take a cold shower later. The short king flashed her a weak smile. “Friends!” 

“Um… I’m… gonna read the rest of the contract now.” She picked it up, reaching behind her, hands shaking just slightly, and she forced her legs to walk her around the table back to her seat. Eleanora hunched over, clearly trying to hide her red face as she read. 

Lucifer took his own seat, picking up his cup of tea and sipping from it quietly, mentally scolding himself and resisting the urge to smack himself upside the head. 

“...Well, damn.” Eleanora suddenly cursed, startling him. When the devil king looked at her, he saw she was keeping her gaze focused on the writing. “From the sounds of it, I have to answer every single question? Not just ones about Charlie?” She looked up at him with disturbed eyes. “Quick! Ask me something I wouldn’t want to answer. N-Nothing weird, though!” 

Lucifer furrowed his brows and thought about it. He set his cup down, leaning forward with his elbows on the table and lacing his hands together under his chin. A mischievous grin spread across his lips. “What’s your honest opinion of me?” 

“Of you?” She echoed, surprised. “Well, I-” 

Eleanora froze, her face burning as red as the apple on his hat, before she smacked her hands over her mouth. The words that came out were muffled, and Lucifer clicked his tongue. She looked like she regretted ever telling him about this. “Repeat that, would you? Pretty please.” 

Her words were still muffled by her hands.  

“Ellie…” Lucifer reached to the side to pick up his cane, and he reached out to tap her arms, pushing them to the side. Eleanora looked horrified, but Lucifer was amused. “What’s your opinion of me?” 

The brunette’s lips curled back. “Y-You’re…” 

“Mmhm~? What am I?” 

She was definitely swearing at him in her mind. “A… d-dilf…” 

Lucifer blinked. “A what?” 

“A dilf. Wait, no!” Eleanora smacked his cane away, looking at him with slight fear as she curled up in the chair, contract resting on the table. “Don’t ask what that is! I don’t wanna say it!” 

He made a face. “Well, now I’m curious.” 

“G-Google it after I leave!” 

“Hrm…” Lucifer stuck out his lips in a pout. “Keep reading the contract, then. I’ll sit in suspense.” 

She was so relieved, she slumped in her chair like her soul had left her body. “Oh, thank god…” 

At that, Lucifer’s eyes narrowed. “I beg your pardon?” 

“Huh?” Eleanora looked confused. “Oh, thank god?” 

Lucifer tapped his cane loudly against the floor and she jumped, very much alarmed by the glare he was now giving her. “What does “dilf” mean?” 

“Dad I’d like to fuck.” She stated immediately, not missing a beat, having not been expecting the question. His eyes nearly popped out of his skull, and Eleanora’s face burned such a hot red he was surprised it didn’t melt. The human shrieked, jumping onto her chair like a gremlin, hugging it like a lifeline. Tears were welling up in her eyes from sheer embarrassment. “Nooooo! No! What the fuck!? Fuck! No! Shit, damn it, why!? Why would you ask me that!?” 

Well, Lucifer feels less bad about his lustful thoughts now. “You thanked God.” 

“What!?” 

He narrowed his eyes at her, his sharp-toothed smile widening as he leaned forward. “I’m the one who pardoned you from having to answer the question. Not my father. You should be thanking me.” 

“...What the hell, man?” 

Lucifer’s grin just glinted dangerously, and Eleanora found herself swallowing thickly, leaning away as much as she could without falling out of her seat or tilting the chair over. The King of Hell had half a mind to lay her across the table and make it so only his name would leave her lips, to where he would be the only person or thing she could think about or thank, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t particularly like that. “As punishment, I decided to make you answer it after all.” 

“You’re insane.” 

“Not as insane as the one who wants to fuck the devil.” 

Her face burned once more and she shrieked, waving an arm in the air as if to ward him off. “It was a figure of speech! I didn’t mean it literally! It’s just a phrase! A… A description! Why would I wanna f-fuck… you?” 

She buried her face in her hands, growing more flustered the longer this conversation went on, unable to look him in the eye. She could barely even get the sentence out. 

It was absolutely adorable. “Do you wanna fuck me?” 

“Yes…” She mumbled, only to shriek and point at him angrily. “No! Gah! Stop it! Fuck you!” 

Lucifer hummed, leaning back in his seat, eying her up-and-down as he folded his arms over his chest, one hand to his chin, the man tossing one leg over the other. Lucifer smirked, splaying his fingers over his lips suggestively, letting his forked tongue poke out from behind his deadly sharp teeth. “If that’s what you want… I wouldn’t be opposed. I think you might like what I have to offer.” 

“...Huh?” It took a second for his words to register, and when it did she seemed to have calmed down, as if his words had set off a switch that rid her of her awkwardness and instead filled her with annoyance. While she was clearly flustered and deeply affected by his words, her face practically resembling a tomato, it was as if she didn’t believe him, like she doubted he would actually want to be with her. “I will throw this tea cup at you.” 

Lucifer raised a brow, almost pouting in his disappointment. “Seriously?” 

Eleanora scowled. “I threw rubber ducks at you before, and I’ll throw them at you again. I’m not afraid to toss the tea cup at you either. It’s not like it’s super hot anymore! Don’t test me.” 

His brow raised even higher. “What, you wouldn’t throw the tea at me if it was hot?” 

“Obviously!” She looked at him like he had grown a second head. “I don’t wanna hurt you, I just wanna…” 

The human held her hands up, strangling the air. 

“I wanna throttle you a little! Smack ya around a bit. But like… not in a hurtful way? Anyways!” Deciding to ignore him, she picked up the contract she had dropped. “We’re apparently married and I have to answer every question. Fine. That’s fine. What else?” 

‘For as long as the human, Eleanora, remains in Hell, she shall help Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, look after his daughter, Charlie Morningstar, and he shall guarantee her safety and make her life as comfortable as is within his power. She is to answer every question, and come to his abode when called. Likewise, should she ever be in danger, all she must do is call for Lucifer Morningstar and he shall be immediately summoned to her side. 

The human, Eleanora, is to help Lucifer Morningstar whenever he is in need. Should the human, Eleanora, ever lose control or harm Lucifer Morningstar’s daughter, Charlie Morningstar, then the contract becomes void, and Lucifer Morningstar may punish the human, Eleanora, however he wishes.’

-LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR, ELEANORA QUINCE

“I think… it looks fine?” She read it over thrice more, just to be sure. “First sentence is the marriage bit, then the second one blatantly states I have to answer every question. Third one says all I have to do is call for you and you’ll show up. Call for me and I’ll show up. Um… I guess the only other thing that could be concerning is the “help Lucifer Morningstar whenever he is in need” bit, but I don’t know how that could be weird. It’s literally just if you need help with something.” 

Eleanora set the contract down, sliding it over for the King of Hell to look at. 

He picked it up and read it a couple time, tapping his index finger against his lips, before he shrugged and tossed it in the air, letting it poof back into wherever it was being held for safekeeping. “So~ you got the bad end of the deal. Heh, told you to be careful.” 

“I don’t want to hear that from the guy who trapped himself into remarrying.” She retorted harshly. 

Lucifer winced. “Touché…”

A heavy silence passed over the table then. Neither Lucifer nor Eleanora could bring themselves to look at each other. 

“So~!” He awkwardly began. “Do you, um… just have this thing… for dilfs?” 

She choked. “Technically.” 

That piqued his curiosity. Lucifer turned to face her. “Technically? What’s that mean?” 

“Well, they’re… normally…” Eleanora cringed, moving her hands slowly as she spoke. “...fictional?” 

Lucifer blinked. “Ah.” 

“Mmhm. My eldest sister likes to date single fathers, though. Didn’t realize it was a genetic thing. Guess it’s proof we’re siblings! Haha…” 

More silence. 

Eleanora decided to grab one of the mini sandwiches that were still on the tiered tray, snacking on them. “These are good.” 

“Hm? Oh, yes!” He was relieved, realizing she was trying to break the uncomfortable atmosphere. “Fairly simple, though.” 

“I like simple.” 

At that, Lucifer looked at her again. She didn’t wear makeup, and her outfit- while nice and very effective- was quite plain. There were no accessories or jewelry either, save for the wrist brace on her right hand which hid her pact mark. Eleanora did not try to embellish her appearance, nor make herself stand out. She’s foregone all luxury in favor of practicality. 

But perhaps that was part of where her beauty lies- like a dandelion among a field of roses. Overlooked, but impossible to ignore once noticed. 

Lucifer found himself letting out a small chuckle. His eyes crinkled, and Eleanora startled at the smile he sent her.  “That’s where we differ, I believe.” 

Suddenly, music began to fill the air; different from the kind that would play when a denizen of Hell would start to sing. It was more like a recording, the sound very reminiscent of what you might hear at a circus, and Eleanora watched with raised brows as Lucifer jumped in his seat, fumbling to pull his phone out of his pants pocket. 

“D-Daughter?” He stammered, reading the name on the screen. “Daughter! Daughter calling! Ahhh! Uh, um, uhhhh, ahhh!” 

He looked at Eleanora with pleading eyes, and she made a face, exasperated. She held out her hand. Lucifer practically tossed the phone at her. She swiped her thumb across the screen to answer it and put it on speaker, setting it on the table. 

“Dad!” Charlie cried out, sounding frantic. It gave the unintentional newlyweds a sense of deja vu. “Have you spoken with El today!? She’s not with you again, is she!? She was supposed to wait at the hotel, but Vaggie and I got back and she wasn’t here, and she’s not answering her cell! None of my calls are going through! I don’t know what to-” 

“O-Oh, sweetie, hey! Hi! Hello.” Lucifer cringed, his smile completely and utterly stressed as he moved around the table to stand beside Eleanora, leaning over to speak into the phone. “Yeah, uh, there was an… accident with her phone, so she’s going to need a new one. Haha. Whoopsie~! These devices are just so fragile, I mean- really, who designs them?” 

“So… she is with you!?”

“She’s with me.” He confirmed, turning to grin awkwardly at the brunette. “Say hi, Ellie~!” 

Eleanora leaned forward, waving at the phone despite knowing the blonde couldn’t see it. “Hi, Charlie~!” 

“Oh my goodness!” Charlie let out a loud and very dramatic breath of relief. “Oh, you’re okay! Oh, hoh, phew… girl, do NOT scare me like that! Please message me when you go to hang out with my dad! Wait… you were… hanging out with my dad. Again?” She gasped excitedly. “Are you-” 

“No!” Eleanora was quick to deny any and all claims, ignoring the confused look Lucifer was giving her. “Nothing like that! We were just… discussing the deal. We made a contract!” 

“Uh-huh. Suuuure~!” 

“Charlie-” 

“Anyways, you won’t BELIEVE this, El! Vaggie and I actually found someone!” 

“...Huh?” Eleanora looked just as baffled as Lucifer did, the man clearly having believed Charlie wouldn’t have found anyone at all. “Who?” 

“Okay, so, um, first of all; his name is Angel Dust! His… profession may make you a little uncomfortable, so fair warning…” 

Eleanora and Lucifer both looked at each other and then back at the phone. The brunette tilted her head. “What’s his profession?” 

“He’s a porn star.” 

“...Oh!” Not what she was expecting, but alright. “I mean… he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. If he enjoys his job, even better. As long as he doesn’t try anything with me, we’re good.” 

“Wow, not the response I was expecting! I knew you were open-minded! Anyways, he’s here at the hotel with us right now! Vaggie is currently showing him to his room. He has this super cute pet demon pig named Fat Nuggets-” Eleanora snorted, and Lucifer stifled a snicker. “-and he promised to quit drinking and taking drugs while he stays here! I think he’s really sincere about redeeming himself, you guys!” 

Lucifer made a face. “Oh, I’m sure he is, sweetheart.” 

“What… What’s with that tone of voice? You don’t think he means it?” 

“I don’t think there’s a Sinner in Hell that truly wants to redeem themselves.” He stated calmly, sounding almost condescending as he did so. “But I’m sure this one wants to.” 

Charlie sounded hurt- and just a bit peeved. “He does! Just you wait! I’ll prove it to you.” 

“Mmhm. Sure thing, sweetie.” 

“El, you still there?” 

Eleanora sent Lucifer a stern frown, which he ignored, before turning back to the phone. “Yeah, I’m here. I can’t exactly leave without help.” 

“Fair. Um… I-I haven’t.. told Angel Dust about you yet; it’s kind of a sensitive subject, having a human in Hell. So… I was thinking… maybe… could you stay at Dad’s for a couple days? Just until he’s settled in and I’ve been able to check to make sure he’s quit the alcohol and drugs? I want to prepare him for you first and… make sure you’re prepared for him.” 

“Uh…” She glanced at the short king standing beside her, who seemed to have short-circuited at Charlie’s inquiry. “Your… Majesty?” 

“Huh? Oh!” He jolted, snapping out of his daze, and he focused on the phone. “Um, what was that?” 

“I was asking if El could stay with you for a couple nights?” 

“That! Ha! Haha!” Lucifer scooped the phone up, chuckling nervously as he began to march around the table, only to stop behind Eleanora, resting a hand on the back of the chair she was sitting in. “I mean, since you’re asking me, Charlie, how could I say no!? Uh, but… the guest rooms aren’t really… ready. I mean, it’s been a long time since I’ve had guests over! Especially for the night!” 

“I know, Dad, but… I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t really important. I want to make sure she’s safe.” 

His expression softened. “Sweetheart…” 

“Please, Dad? You have a sofa in your room, don’t you? She can sleep there!” 

“My… My room? Charlie, haha, I don’t- ha, uh, I-I don’t think-” 

“Pleeeeeeeease, Dad?” 

“Charlie, dear, I really don’t think-” 

“Ugh, come on, Dad! When do I ever ask you for anything!?” 

Lucifer was gripping the chair so tight, Eleanora could see the wood cracking. She looked mildly disturbed as she watched his claws dig into it, creating splinters, before glancing up at him in concern. “I-I can just sleep in here again…” 

“No!” He looked alarmed at her suggestion, staring down at her with wide eyes. “I-I’m not making you sleep in that chair again! You’re my guest, Ellie! You can-” 

Lucifer cut himself off, closing his eyes in defeat as he took a deep breath, his grip on the chair slowly relaxing. When he opened his eyes again, his expression was gentler, his smile less toothy and more sweet. 

“You can sleep in my room. It’s fine.”

The human gaped at him, unable to believe he actually agreed to that. Her face was a bright red, the human surely remembering their earlier conversation. “A-Are you sure? I don’t… want to bother you-” 

“It’s fine.” He moved his hand from the chair to her shoulder, and Eleanora blinked, only more confused by his actions, wondering what on earth was going on in his head. “You’re not a bother.” 

She froze. 

Unfortunately, before Eleanora could process that and ask if he actually meant it, Charlie let out an ear-piercing squeal. “Yesssssss~! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew I could count on you, Dad! Oh, I’ll send over your toothbrush and pajamas, El! Don’t worry! Holy fuck, this is actually happening! Yes! Okay! I’m calm. I am super duper calm. Thank you, Dad! Love you! Thanks for staying with him, El! Bye~! See you in five!” 

Charlie ended the call, leaving the pair to stand and sit in silence. 

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer x oc #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel fanfiction

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Batfamily Secret Santa

With the holidays coming up here's my headcanon for what each of the batfamily members would get each other if they were doing a secret Santa. (And yes, I know Bruce is canonically Jewish, but I believe either Tim or Dick are some denomination of Christian so I'd imagine they have a mixed holiday celebration at the manor)

Bruce (got Stephanie)

Ok so Bruce is super generous on a good day and I can't imagine Steph wouldn't be dropping hints since Thanksgiving, so he'd probably give her everything she asked for plus a new movie Wayne manor doesn't have, so after the celebration they could watch it together as a one-on-one bonding thing since he's pretty big on quality time in some versions.

Dick (got Bruce)

Bruce really doesn't expect anything for the holidays which is perfect because I have this headcanon that Dick is actually really bad with giving gifts. Someone bullied your little sister? Not on his watch. Life advice? He'll pull from his past experiences to tell you what not to do. Emotional support? Bro he's there. But birthday/anniversary/holiday gifts? Expect a mug with Snoopy's face because you both watched Charlie Brown together once. In July. He's just that kind of gift giver. So I'm thinking Dick would get Bruce a dinosaur themed 1,000 piece puzzle because Bruce likes dinosaurs and he likes puzzles so boom! Match made in heaven, ya boi is a genius. 😎

Barbara (got Jason)

Babs is a pretty practical person so her secret Santa to Jason probably consisted of a gift bag with manly smelling body wash, a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and a CD mixtape of Jason's Spotify favorites so he can pop it into a car and listen to it during long car rides.

Duke (got Damian)

So Duke is a pretty creative person when he's passionate about a project and his ideas are definitely one of a kind, but I think for some time he would really struggle with coming up with a secret Santa for Damian because he isn't all that close with Robin. He knew Damian appreciated weapons but he's also the type of person to not want Damian to think that weapons are all he is by getting him one. Presents for Damian's pets are off the table since Damian spoils them on every day of the year, so Duke would probably gift Damian something for the child he is, since Damian never had a childhood. Maybe a telescope so Damian could look at the stars with his family on clear nights. Just like what Duke's mom gave him as a boy for the holidays one year.

Cass (got Dick)

Cass didn't receive material gifts for most of her life so she probably enlisted Alfred's help. Given that the butler knows Dick pretty well, they decided to give him a gift basket with blue ribbon that had a T-shirt of his favorite band, some flash fuzzy socks (Wally would approve), and his favorite holiday candy. Dick is really more of a quality time kind of person if you want to make him to feel special, so it didn't need to be elaborate anyway.

Jason (got Cass)

I don't care how much people try to make Jason into a sexist, ignorant-to-the-fine-arts kind of person. Jason doesn't give a fuck about gender stereotypes and he loves learning, especially about classical things like literature or fine arts. For his secret Santa to Cass he got them both tickets for a weekend trip to Russia to see a ballet in person in one of the grandest cities in Russia. Cass has obviously been to many places across the world, but it was always for a mission and nothing more. For the holidays, Jason gifted her two days where they could travel and explore the culture, living like locals or being those stereotypical tourists just for shits and giggles. Just a few days without work to relax and live happy lives as regular people. When Cass got her gift Jason pulled her aside afterwards to explain it, so she wouldn't cry in front of everyone. And she did cry. Just a little. So did Jason.

Tim (got Duke)

Tim wouldn't think too hard about Duke's gift since he knows the people Duke hangs out with. Or could find them. Getting Duke a gift was as simple as casually running into Duke's friends and asking them about what Duke likes. Not that he or Duke's friends ever mentioned this to Signal, so when he opened his secret Santa and found some hyper-specific things amongst some more generic gifts, he began to wonder just how much Tim knew about his life.

Stephanie (got Babs)

Steph is absolutely the type of person to get someone for Christmas something they want themselves. So a lot of the gifts Bruce gave her look similar to what Babs got from Steph. Not that she means anything by it, but in her mind if it's worth wanting, someone else close to her probably wants it too. And Babs doesn't mind. She already bought herself a new desk light after the old one got knocked down one too many times, so it doesn't matter if she has a cute keychain to go on it.

Damian (got Tim)

Regardless of his age I think a younger sibling will always be a younger sibling. Damian would probably give Tim a large fancy gift bag filled with tissue paper... and nothing else. He'd do it just to see Tim's reaction to rifling through the bag for several moments to come up empty. Then, when Tim admits defeat, Damian would hand over a gift he asked Jon to pick up for Connor, nicely wrapped with Tim's forged signature and everything. He wasn't about to get Tim a gift but it's okay because he knew Tim would've somehow forgotten to get his boyfriend a holiday gift anyway. (And he did)

#and they all lived happily ever after #JK they live in Gotham #dc batman #batfamily headcanons #batfamily shenanigans #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #batman #batman comics #robin #dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #oracle dc #batgirl cassandra cain #Batgirl #bat girl #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #robin the orphan #jason todd #red hood #signal dc #duke thomas #wayne family adventures #superman #supersons #damian wayne #damian al ghul #cassandra wayne

[stargazer-balladeer]

“The Sound of Music” [Ensemble Stars]

Imagine catching you humming their unit’s song. 

Characters Included: Mika Kagehira, Hiiro Amagi & Rei Sakuma + GN! Reader

Notes: aha sorry if some of these are OOC qwq i still havent grasped their characters much yet. Hope ya’ll still like this tho! 

Warnings: None

Mika Kagehira

Ecstatic about the fact that when he hears a familiar humming of one of his Unit’s song and it led straight to you, his beloved s/o. His mismatched eyes sparkled with delight as he goes to approach you, cheeks covered in a pink hue as he lightly taps your shoulder. “That- No words can match what ‘m feeling! Yer amazing as always!” compliments poured out of his mouth as he flashes you a rather why smile. Maybe you two should have a duet!

Mika perked up from his gaze to the doll he was making, a present he wanted to give you as a way to express his love to you. He thought he heard a familiar tune emitting from behind him, akin to one of his unit’s - Valkyrie’s - song, one he did with Teach. He turned to look at you looking at your screen while typing peacefully. At first he thought he was imagining it, but the tune continued to hum through the air which made Mika knew for sure you were humming his tune. 

Unable to prevent a giant smile from creeping up his face, he can literally feel his face warming up. Ahh, the things you do for his poor heart. Setting down the doll gently, he stood up and made his way to you. You haven’t looked up from your gaze on the monitor’s screen so Mika tapped your shoulder, not wanting to frighten you. When you looked up to meet him and flashed him your smile, he couldn’t help but put his hands on your cheeks while rubbing the tip of his nose against yours. “That was amazin’! Ya made the song ten times better than it was originally! Oh but uhh don’t tell that to Oshii-san, okay?” Giggling alongside you at his last comment.

“I think we should have a duet soon! I’ll try to come up with a song for us hehe. It’ll be fun, promise~” You don’t have a heart to say no to him when he looks excited like a kid finally having his candy after being deprived of it. 

Hiiro Amagi

Initially confused when he heard the humming, didn’t immediately recognize the tune of his Unit’s song but immediately went to investigate. He didn’t even knew it was you until you told him, maybe getting a bit embarrassed when he makes a noise of surprise. Compliments you overload, saying whatever compliments he remembered. It’ll maybe take a while before he realized you were humming his unit’s song though. 

“Ah, it’s only you, love.” You jumped a bit when you suddenly heard the door being banged open, leaving a loud thump as it hits against the poor wall. You turned around to meet the eyes of your boyfriend, who was as surprised as you are. He made his way to you, not minding the deed he did to the poor door at all. “I heard a familiar tune from here so I followed it and it lead me here! I couldn’t place where I heard the tune before though.” Hiiro explained while taking one of your hands to rub his thumbs across your knuckles. 

His blue eyes quickly leaving yours to scan the room, only for his brows to furrow and his mouth turning into a frown. You tilt your head when he looks back at you. “I don’t see anyone here besides you though… hmm maybe I went inside the wrong room?” Hiiro frowned while shaking his head. “But it couldn’t be. I was so sure-“ “Uhmm… I think it was me you heard humming.” His eyes quickly opened after closing them for a moment to meet yours, but your gaze wasn’t on him. He could tell you were embarrassed but he couldn’t wrack his brain why you would feel this way. He thought the humming was special, it was soothing to the ear that was why he was attracted to it in the first place. And now knowing it came from his significant other makes it better!

“Why are you embarrassed? You have an amazing voice though! I thought you were a deity that came down from the heavens a while ago!” Letting go of one of your hands to slightly slap your cheeks two times, his disappointed face akin to a master scolding his dog (which is kinda insulting since he was supposed to be the dog but shh). “Shoo shoo bad thoughts. Let the good thoughts shine.” Aaaaa the urge to not squeal in front of him- 

(Extra: You were surprised when you heard thundering footsteps making its way to you the next day only to reveal your boyfriend who was screaming at you for not telling him that you were humming his unit’s song.) 

Rei Sakuma

Probably caught you humming to his unit’s song one too many times to count. Never really confronted you about it though, but he did drop some hints that he knew your secret habit using his old vampire antics. Even though he would’ve preferred you singing it to him face-to-face, he respects you, he wouldn’t dare invade your personal space. But you see, even this old man needs his needs. 

“Sing me a song, my beloved.” Rei’s sudden request made you jumped a bit as you made yourself comfortable inside his coffin, making you hit your head against the walls. Wincing at the pain, Rei clicked his tongue as he sets his hand on your head to soothe the pain. “Tsk tsk be careful, wouldn’t want you harming yourself now.” Taking advantage of your lowered guard, he brings you closer to him. Letting out a sigh when he takes the sniff out of your scent, he waits for a moment before speaking again. “Hum me a tune, a lullaby, or any song.” He said softly and quietly. 

“You don’t need a lullaby. You’re an old man.” You retorted as his chest rumbles slightly from his chuckles. “But you see, this old man needs a lullaby to sleep. I can’t seem to sleep properly.” You huffed at his excuse, knowing fully well he’s making everything up. “That’s just an excuse to hear me sing.” He smiles, lightly kissing the top of your head. “Just indulge me~” You gave up trying to argue your way out of this. Not much choice when this old vampire is clinging to you while still whining. When you start to hum, he stays silent taking in your humming. He immediately recognizes it to be one of their more ‘tame’ songs. 

He closes his eyes as he basks in your presence. No words are needed in this world you and he created for yourselves. He wishes you would sing openly in front of him next time, but he’ll just have to remain patient until then.

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#ensemble stars #ensemble stars x reader #enstars #enstars x reader #ensemble stars headcanons #enstars headcanons #mika kagehira #mika kagehira x reader #hiiro amagi #hiiro amagi x reader #rei sakuma #rei sakuma x reader