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liladiurne · 8 months

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on inspiration, creativity, and expectations

I don't usually make posts like this. I don't know why exactly, whether it's just me being too lazy to take the time to write down my thoughts, or just because part of me thinks no one's interested in reading my ramblings. But I've been questioning myself so much lately, and it seemed like a good idea today to try and make sense of what I've been going through. And I think maybe some of you reading this could possibly feel the same way. And if that's the case, maybe me sharing my own experience might help you, or maybe you might have good advice for me going forward.

It's been a really tough year (and longer) for me, creatively. I don't know if I've lost something of myself along the way, or if it's just a weight I've put on myself subconsciously at some point. Either way, something is definitely stopping me from finding joy in writing, something is weighing me down. I see all my friends being so productive and so creative and writing genuinely amazing stories to their hearts' desires, sometimes only in a few days. And I'd love to do the same, but somehow, I can't. And I've always had this deep need to create, to lose myself in the process; it's an escape for me, has always been. Writing is what makes me happy. But I haven't been able to write, and as a result, I've been miserable.

I know part of the problem is that I've always wanted to connect with people. I want my stories to reach my readers, to make them feel something. Writing is good, but it's so much better with an audience that shares your love of the story and is willing to discuss it with you, to dive into it with you. As a writer, I don't seek praise or validation, I seek connection and discussion. I want to know that my writing did something right. And when I've poured my heart out into something, and after it's done there's so little reaction to it, yes it feels like a failure. I can't help it.

I know that it's on me. It's a me problem, and I've been struggling a lot lately to try and fix it.

And another part of that problem is that I have this very successful story that readers flock to, subscribe to in mass, comment in mass to every update, will wait around for months for a new chapter. And when that chapter comes, they will shower me with love and discussion and share their happiness and their joy for my work. And as much as I love this particular story, it has completely messed up my brain, twisted my sense of what's "normal" reception or feedback for a fic.

The resulting effect is that when I post something that is not a part of that story, the difference in the sense of connection to my readers, and in reception and feedback is so drastic that it takes all the joy out of having written it and shared it. I feel like I have no audience, like I can't reach people anymore, like I'm screaming into the void. I feel like I've completely failed as a writer. And I've stopped myself from posting things that are not that story because of that, because I know I'll feel worse afterwards, that I'll feel like no one cares about anything I do if it's not THAT story. And because I feel guilty for not working on that one story that everyone is waiting for, I've stomped on inspiration when it came to me and tried to drag me into other stories. I've had brilliant ideas that I've pushed away, thinking, "I can't right now, because they're waiting for this one story and they won't care if I post something else, and I'll feel horrible about it."

And because of all those feelings, I can't write. And when I can't write, I'm sad.

And I've heard it all before. You have to write for YOU, first of all. I know that. I've even said it myself numerous times. But isn't it just SO hard to make your brain understand it?

I think I've been going at it all wrong for a long time now, and I need to try a new strategy. I'd fashioned an unofficial set of rules for myself. I'd tell myself, "Don't post more than one WIP at a time, or it'll make you look like an unreliable writer and that puts people off." And that's the stupidest thing because there are many writers with many WIPS that I absolutely adore and would never think "unreliable" in any way. Isn't it crazy the standards and expectations we set for ourselves?

A good friend and very wise person told me recently about a talk she attended by this very prolific writer who went on at length about creativity. The essence of it was that to avoid writer's block, you need to let inspiration flow wherever it wants, and that no specific work is more important than keeping the creative spirit going. Basically, you need to go wherever the fun is, always. You need to start anything and everything and see where it leads.

So I'm trying a new strategy now. I'll be going where inspiration takes me, wherever the hell that is. Because I need to create, otherwise I don't know what'll happen. I'm NOT abandoning Brighter Than Bright, and I'm grateful for all the love and support I've gotten for it, but I need to explore other things for a time, and I'll come back to it when I come back to it. Whenever that is. I've tried forcing myself to work on it for months now, and it's brought me so little joy. I need to do something differently.

If this new strategy works, you'll notice me posting more WIPs, finally giving all my other ideas some love, emptying my draft drawers and pouring them out in the world because I just need to write SOMETHING.

For my own mental health. I need to try to be happy again.

#lila writes #lila posts #on writing #writers talk #mental health talk

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hey-haven · 1 year

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I feel like people don’t really bring up how Jackson and Holt have unintentionally shown aspects of DID that normally isn’t portrayed in media all that much. I mean a lot of people do think they work as a DID allegory but I feel like not a lot of people really explain why outside of “well they are two personalities who share a body,” so I personally want to go in and bring up some more specific examples.

One specific thing not a lot of people bring up ( at least in mainstream media) is how switching to an alter and having that alter front can cause memory gaps with the host. Jackson has expressed multiple times that when he comes back to front, he often ends up in places and scenarios that he swears he wasn’t in before. He has no idea what Holt does and Vice versa.

Another aspect is how disorienting switching can be. From what I’ve heard, when you switch and an alter fronts it sometimes takes a minute to come back down and ground yourself. Same thing when the host comes back to front. Both Holt and Jackson visibly twitch and shake and while that may not be how switching looks, it does work as a visual cue to the audience that going from one personality to the other is not an easy process for either of them.

Also with Holt specifically, it actually is very possible for an alter not even realize they’re an alter. Like Steven from Moonknight for example. A big plot twist in the show is learning that Steven himself isn’t the host, he is an alter and for the longest time he had no idea. This parallels Holt who also had no idea that he and Jackson are one in the same. While I don’t know how common that is, I do know there have been times where an alter just doesn’t realize they’re an alter.

But going back to talking about both of them, I also like how Jackson has a specific trigger when it comes to when Holt will front. See a big part of DID is that an alter often is meant to protect the host from a specific, traumatic event hence why a lot of them have titles like “protector”. Either that or they are personified as the traumatic event in some way. It’s super complicated and not every person with DID is the exact same but generally speaking DID is a result of someone unable to handle a traumatic event so someone else takes hold of those memories instead. That’s probably not the best way of describing it so please feel free to correct me.

Anyway! Point here is that while Jackson doesn’t show any signs of having trauma there are times, generally speaking, where a specific event or thing will trigger an alter to front. And with Jackson, that trigger is music. (Specifically a song in the 4 by 4 count and reaches a certain decible or whatever I don’t care ahdhshs).

So with all that being said, I hope this helps break down why Jackson and Holt work as a DID allegory. While I don’t think that was the intention with the character, it just ends up working nicely anyway.

#long post #haven rambles #monster high #character analysis #jackson jekyll #holt hyde #DID #dissociative identity disorder #mental health talk

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alexandraisyes · 4 months

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A List of Common Traits Sociopaths Have

Note: These are a mix of personality traits (cannot be changed) and behavioral traits (can be changed) For the sake of simplicity, personality traits are the things that are considered the defining factor of a sociopath. Don't freak out if you have one or two of these, everyone has at least one symptom of every disorder ever, and that doesn't mean you are a sociopath. Also, please keep in mind this isn't a pretty topic that's sunshine and rainbows. It's a mental disorder and I do not intend on sugarcoating it.

Personality Traits

Lack of Empathy: Empathy is the ability to sense other people's emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. We literally cannot do that. We will not understand on an emotional level why you are upset, why you are crying, why you're laughing at something we said. We can understand on a logical level, not an emotional one. Sociopaths have to learn something called cognitive empathy, which is using critical thinking to understand another person's emotions and thoughts. We're logical, we can't understand your emotional issues without using cold logic, this can make people perceive us as cruel and inhumane when we simply aren't capable of empathizing.

Not Giving a Fuckery: Put bluntly, we don't care. You can't make us care. You can't persuade us to care. If we want to care about something, we will, and you will have no influence on whether that happens or not. And generally, we don't want to care either. We are capable of caring, but we are highly selective about what and who we choose to care about, and it tends to be someone we've known for long-term who has managed to wriggle past our walls. Even then we'll have periods where we just cannot give a fuck about them, even if they matter to us. It's a rocky road y'all, and the guilt afterwards is fucking hell (partly because we care about them and feel bad about not caring for a bit, but mostly because we aren't used to guilt and so it makes us feel feelings that we have no idea how to process.)

Lack of Guilt: Don't feel the need to go too deep into this cause I've already covered it. Look at the two above posts. Why would someone who has no emotional empathy and suffers from not giving a fuckery feel guilt about... hardly anything? We can feel guilt, I know this first hand. (That was a rough moment of my life there.) But it's also really easy for us to rationalize our actions and push it under the rug to never look at again. Which means it's really hard for us to find a reason to change our behavior when we hurt others, especially if they aren't people we care about. When it's someone we care about, it tends to go either "I can live without them (fucking lies)" or "I'm gonna lose them if I don't knock it off". I'll go into greater detail about the fucking lies statement there later on in the behavior section.

Guarded Trust: As stated briefly in point two, we have walls. We have a lot of walls. And a firing squad behind those walls if you managed to get past them. We don't want to trust you, and we might never fully trust you (just depends on the sociopath). Generally when people have their walls up that high there's some kind of vulnerability they don't want exploited, not so much the case with sociopaths. Most of us just are jaded and cold and uncaring, and we aren't hiding anything "for our own protection" (unless it's something like a case of consistent abuse to and past full maturation [adulthood] that will obviously have negative effects that make us doubly untrusting of others). So, if you manage to earn our trust, congratulations on sticking around long enough to do that. Now don't fuck it up.

Self Preservation: Some people claim that sociopaths are narcissistic (to be a narcissist is an entirely different personality disorder, but anyone can act narcissistic). I argue that a sociopath has no more inclination to act narcissistic than your average human being. What is actually perceived is our sense of self preservation, which is like yours... on steroids. We will always come first in our minds because why would you put something before you that you don't care about? If there is one oxygen mask, and there are two of us, and we both need oxygen to live, I would not hesitate in letting you die. Harsh, but honest. We tend to be called narcissistic because we share some traits with narcissists, like high charisma, intelligence, and we're highly tuned into other people's reactions and behaviors (a lack of empathy and caring makes it easier to completely dismantle someone in our minds). It's important to note that if we are going out of our way to do something for someone we don't particularly know or care about, it's generally because we want something from them, or we want to be able to get something from them in the future. We tend to play nice with others because they have something we want, whether this is a material thing, or in more self-aware sociopaths like myself, companionship. Also to note, we don't give a shit what you think about us unless it's going to cause us issues with getting what we want from you, our ego isn't at stake like a narcissist's is. We don't brag about ourselves or try to impress you, and we tend to keep the conversation off of ourselves. You can talk with me for hours on end, and walk away knowing nothing about me and I will know everything about you unless you ask the right questions that get me to talk about myself. If I humor you with the all about Alex, it's because I find amusement in your reaction to what is honestly quite a horrifying story. This is pretty common behavior for a sociopath I found out, haha.

Lack of Intrusive Thoughts: Don't ask us what we're thinking and expect an honest answer, you don't want to know what is actually happening in our head. We don't care, remember? We aren't bothered by thoughts that are about immoral topics and actions, and we just brush them off like we do with any other thought. The only times I have ever considered a thought intrusive is when it involved hurting someone I care deeply about (my mom and generally my cats) or involved breaking my personal moral code. Past that, we will literally think about anything and not bat an eye. We also generally aren't going to be affected by viewing traumatic content unless it ties directly into our own traumatic experiences (or, again, involves someone we care about), and this tends to be the case with most sociopaths. A thought about brutally murdering our family has the same tone as needing to make sure we remember to pick up more coffee next time we go to the store, and it won't bug us like it will a normal person.

No Uno Reverse: Sorry, but if you want to pull a fast one on a sociopath, it's not going to work. You can't manipulate us. You can't threaten us. You can't persuade us. You can bribe us, but that's not manipulation at that point, that's you offering up goods to earn our favor. Honestly... if you were to bribe us for our favor, at that point technically the tables just got turned bozo. You also can't offend us easily. You can piss us off, you can get us riled up, but you're not going to be able to easily find something that's going to get us real upsetti spaghetti for longer than that moment. And if we are upsetti spaghetti, it's not really because we're offended, we're just pissed off at your insolence and audacity and generally mocking you in our heads for being a dumbass. Not saying that you can't manage to offend us, just that it's a hard game and are you even sure the outcome is worth it? You can't make us jealous either, we don't give a shit.

Aromantic: If you are a sociopath you are automatically aromantic. The brain? Yeah that's fucking broken when it comes to chemical love. We can't love you the way you want us to, and we will never be able to. We can love but it's not the same as what the normal person thinks of when they think of loving someone. We will never fall in love with you, and it's not fair to us to expect us to. The best you'll get from us is the effort we will put into the relationship, not because there's some deep emotional connection, but because we care and that's the most you're going to get. If we stick around, put in effort, are willing to compromise and go out of our way to make you happy, that's how we show we "love" you. A relationship with a sociopath will never be romantic on their part, and it will feel a lot like having a best friend instead of a romantic partner. We give out limited affection on a good day, so it's wise to know what you're getting into. (Note: We can learn to be more affectionate if it ends up benefiting us by doing so, but we won't actively seek out things like touch, and you need to both ask if you want it from us, as well as ask before touching us as a general rule of thumb because we aren't touchy people to start with. If we dole out touch like it's candy, it's generally for your benefit and not because we crave it. Always get an okay just in general really before you touch someone else unless they have specified you don't need to ask.)

Blunt: Almost painfully so. We aren't going to beat around the bush unless we are trying to manipulate a situation (this isn't always malicious by the way, a good chunk of the manipulation we do isn't because we're trying to be bad, it's either self-preservation or trying to navigate a situation. It's just that it's also really easy for us to be manipulative for other reasons since we won't feel bad about it that makes this an issue). We don't see a reason to run circles around things, and we are very straight forward, even if we may not act like it at times. We really don't care if you don't like what we have to say.

Bored: We are so so sooooo bored all the damn time. We like interacting with people because it's exciting. We like shiny buttons that give us reactions, and we really really like to press them for better and for worse because it's amusing. It's something to do. A lot of us don't have a healthy way to deal with boredom, which leads to drug and alcohol abuse, petty crimes, sex addiction, etc. Stuff that makes us feel something other than just... empty. The lucky ones (like me) figure out how to manage ourselves, impulses, and the way we interact with others. I fight off my boredom by drawing. For an idea of how bored I fucking am, I draw every day, up to twelve hours a day.

Pride: I'm not going to sugar coat it, we're very very prideful. You want to hurt a sociopath? Attack their pride. That's the only way you're going to do it.

Not Evil: No one is born inherently evil, and neither are sociopaths. A sociopath is formed, not born. Most of us are non-violent, and do the majority of our 'acting out' in highschool and young adulthood. A lot of us end up in juvenile detention at least once because of our ingrained lack of impulse control (I went to juvie three times and committed a handful of misdemeanors). We can be horrible people, but so can someone who is "normal", and considering the population of people who are criminals (5% estimate) compared to people who are sociopaths (less than one, and most of us are again, nonviolent)... yeah that says more about humanity than it does sociopathy. We may, however, appear heartless due to the lack of an instinctual moral compass.

Constant: Let's face the facts, a sociopath isn't going to change. Your personality is constant. Being a sociopath is a huge part of our personality. Your personality doesn't change, and neither will ours. However, we can change and improve by working on our behaviors and going through intensive cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as similar types of intensive therapies that appeal to logic rather than emotion.

Behavioral Traits

The Mask: This is huge, so it's the first. A sociopath's mask is an intricate and meticulously crafted façade designed to camouflage their true thoughts, emotions, and intentions. This carefully constructed persona serves as a social shield, concealing the underlying aspects of our personality that deviate from societal norms. This mask is characterized by a calculated presentation of charm, affability, and a keen ability to adapt to various social scenarios. It reflects a superficial normalcy that enables us to seamlessly integrate into social circles, concealing our inherent lack of empathy and emotional depth. It is not merely a tool for social interaction; it is a strategic move employed to help manipulate and navigate the complexities of human relationships that we literally don't understand. It allows us to mimic conventional emotional responses and create an illusion of connection, while beneath the surface... to put it poetically, an emotional void persists. This deceptive exterior often includes a convincing display of sincerity, engaging conversational skills, and an ability to mirror the emotions of others. The mask is not a fixed entity; rather, it is adaptive, evolving to suit the specific context and individuals involved. It is a versatile tool, enabling them to exploit social dynamics for personal gain without raising suspicion. Behind this facade, however, lies a stark contrast to conventional emotional experiences. The mask is a calculated projection, lacking the genuine emotional depth and connection that characterize authentic human interactions. It serves as a mechanism for self-preservation, allowing us to navigate social landscapes without revealing the true nature of our emotional deficit.

Trust Via The Mask: There are three reasons we'll take off our mask.

We're fucking tired. It's so exhausting pretending to understand shit, and pretending to care, so if our mask slips, don't hate on us for it, we're just exhausted. It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to keep it up all the time, and the more physically worn out we are, the less energy we have to mask in social settings. It's important to remember that we are humans too, and our mask slipping and revealing glimpses of who we actually are underneath the layers we put on for those around us is okay. No one can be perfect all the time, and if we're so tired we can't keep up the act that says a lot about our mental state (that we aren't going to inform you of).

We trust you. In the context of sociopathic behavior, we may, under certain circumstances, allow our carefully maintained mask to momentarily slip, particularly when a sense of trust has been established in a relationship. This occurrence can indicate a level of confidence in the associated individual, granting them insight into the less guarded aspects of our personality. The decision to reveal our nature in the presence of trust is not a small thing, it reflects a deliberate choice to expose an unfiltered version of us to the individual. During these instances, there may be a temporary departure from the usual emotional detachment characteristic of sociopathy, offering a brief and somewhat paradoxical glimpse into more authentic expressions of thoughts and emotions. For those privy to such moments, a measured approach is advisable, recognizing the significance of the trust extended while maintaining awareness of the inherent boundaries in understanding our emotional terrain.

We want to fuck with you. The deliberate decision to drop the mask, not out of a necessity driven by trust or fatigue but rather as a calculated maneuver for personal amusement or manipulation isn't uncommon (I admitted earlier I too am guilty of this behavior). This can serve us as a tool for gauging and influencing the reactions of others, showing an inclination to navigate social dynamics for our own amusement or gain. In instances where we intentionally discard our mask, the primary motivation lies in observing the impact on those around us. The reactions of others tend to be a source of entertainment or a means of manipulation, providing a sense of control and satisfaction for us in the moment. This calculated move allows us to assess the vulnerabilities and responses of those in our social sphere, offering valuable insights that can be harnessed for future interactions. It is crucial to acknowledge that this intentional unmasking is not a manifestation of genuine emotion or a display of trust but rather a strategic decision grounded in our inherent ability to read and exploit social dynamics. For those on the receiving end of this intentional unmasking, good luck. If you aren't aware of what's going on, you're kind of doomed to get back on even ground with them. It's a bit of a power high to catch somebody so off guard, and then go back to normal, and it's a bad habit I'm personally trying to break. But a lot of us... don't really care about improving so most of us aren't trying to not do that.

Cruelty: Woah, this is a negative trait guys, just an FYI. So keep in mind that while this is a common behavior in sociopathy, not every sociopath is an asshole on purpose, and others can be working to improve. Anyone can be cruel. Cruelty, in this context, is not an incidental byproduct of emotional distress but rather a calculated choice driven by a lack of empathy and a heightened focus on personal objectives. We may engage in deliberate acts of cruelty, exploiting the vulnerabilities and emotions of others without experiencing the moral or emotional constraints that typically deter such behavior. This intentional cruelty can manifest in various forms, including verbal aggression, manipulation, or actions designed to inflict emotional or psychological harm (again, we don't tend to be violent). The absence of empathetic responses allows us to navigate social interactions without the emotional burdens that typically accompany acts of cruelty (like guilt). It is essential to understand that this deliberate cruelty is not generally driven by malice but rather by a self-serving motivation. We tend to view others primarily in terms of utility, with acts of cruelty serving as means to achieve personal goals, assert dominance, or maintain control within relationships. Recognizing the potential for cruelty in individuals with sociopathic traits is crucial for those interacting with them. Establishing healthy boundaries and maintaining a level of emotional detachment can help mitigate the impact of such behavior. Additionally, fostering an understanding of the distinct emotional landscape of sociopaths allows for a more informed approach to navigating relationships with these individuals. It's equally important to recognize when there is the potential for improvement, while also knowing your own limits. The average human being cannot help a sociopath, we need a trained professional’s assistance.

Quiet: The tendency for us to maintain a quiet demeanor is often rooted in a strategic awareness of societal norms and a recognition that openly expressing our thoughts can evoke fear or discomfort in others. This silence, or even distracting ourselves with meaningless chatter, serves as a self-protective measure, allowing us to navigate social interactions without triggering negative reactions based on the unconventional nature of our thoughts and perspectives. The fact that we don't often talk about ourselves does not necessarily translate to being a good listener. We don't tend to actively engage in empathetic listening or exhibit genuine interest in the concerns of others. In social scenarios, we may carefully observe and selectively respond to maintain a calculated distance from emotional entanglements. Understanding this dynamic is essential for managing expectations and fostering realistic communication in relationships with sociopaths. We don't care about your issues, and if we ask about them we're doing so out of morbid curiosity more often than not.

Threatening to Leave: Sociopaths approach relationships with a pragmatic and calculated mindset, often weighing the perceived benefits and losses associated with their connections. Threatening to end a relationship may not elicit the anticipated emotional response unless the sociopath perceives it as a significant loss or a threat to our personal interests. We tend to view relationships through the lens of utility, assessing the value and advantages they derive from the connection. If they perceive that ending the relationship would result in a notable loss or detriment to their goals, we might respond with a level of concern. In such cases, the threat of relationship termination becomes a strategic consideration rather than an emotional trigger. It is important to recognize that the sociopathic response to relationship threats is grounded in a rational evaluation of self-interest rather than emotional attachment. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for those navigating relationships with sociopaths. Effectively communicating concerns or influencing behavior may require appealing to our perceived self-interest rather than relying on emotional appeals.

Walking Away: For a sociopath, the prospect of someone we care about choosing to leave may not lead to the typical emotional experience of heartbreak, as we don't engage in the conventional experience of love. However the emotional impact of such an event, while not precisely analogous to heartbreak, can be remarkably close and centers around our sense of pride and ego. This is not just romantic relationships, but also platonic ones. We often derive a sense of identity and self-worth from our ability to navigate relationships with a certain level of control and influence. The act of someone choosing to leave, particularly if it is unexpected or challenges our sense of self and can result in a significant blow to our pride. The feelings of rejection or failure may prompt a strong emotional response, even if it doesn't align with the traditional concept of heartbreak. While we may not experience heartbreak in the conventional sense, the impact on our pride and ego can be a powerful and challenging emotional experience for them, and can leave us with feelings of helplessness (which makes us resentful) and self hatred if our disorder is blamed as the causation of the relationship failing.

Funny man: We do have a sense of humor, albeit it's one that often leans toward the darker and more unconventional side. This distinctive humor arises from our unfiltered thoughts and the keen ability to perceive and appreciate the absurdities or ironies of life that tend to elude others. We often find amusement in topics that others might perceive as morbid or taboo. Our unfiltered thoughts let us see the humor in situations that might be uncomfortable or unsettling for many. The unbridled nature of our thoughts allows us to view the world through a lens unencumbered by societal norms or emotional sensitivities. We lack the typical social filters that might restrain others from finding humor in certain topics. However, while we may appreciate dark humor, we do tend to recognize the need to share it selectively, and we're capable of shifting what we put out there enough to be acceptable and humorous to different groups of people.

Friendship Potential: While we are often characterized by a lack of emotional empathy and a pragmatic approach to relationships, it's good to recognize that our honestly unique qualities can contribute to the potential for us to be great friends in certain contexts.

Logical Perspectives: Sociopaths, with our cold, logical perspectives, can offer insights and advice that are unclouded by emotional biases. This rational approach can be valuable, especially in situations where objective analysis is required.

Reliability and Consistency: Sociopaths may exhibit a high level of consistency and reliability in our friendships. Our pragmatic nature often translates into clear communication and straightforward expectations, reducing the likelihood of unpredictable behaviors.

Solution-Oriented Approach: The problem-solving skills we hold can be an asset in a friendship. Our focus on achieving goals and navigating challenges efficiently can contribute to finding effective solutions in various situations.

Honesty as a Form of Care: Sociopaths, in our own way, may express care through brutal honesty. While this honesty may be unsettling, it can be interpreted as a sincere effort to provide transparent insights, devoid of the social niceties that often accompany communication.

Loyalty to a Select Few: Though generally characterized by a lack of empathy, we may form genuine bonds with a small circle of individuals. This selective loyalty can result in deep and lasting friendships, where we are able to demonstrate commitment and support.

#mental health #accurately talk about mental health #alex talks #sociopathic disorder #antisocial personality disorder #mental health talk #information #informative post

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natalias-pierogi · 11 months

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honestly it frustrates me so much that exercising and eating well and getting enough sleep truly are one of the best things you can do for your mental health, but most of us has such a damaged and skewed relationship with those things because of the things we've been hearing since childhood.

when we're told to work out its usually not in a "move your body in ways that feels good and is enjoyable" but in a "work out so you can fit into this unnatainable beauty standard that will change in a few years anyway". when we're told to eat healthy were not being taught how to balance our diet so that we have energy and enjoy food. instead we're told to count calories and cut down on sugar and carbs.

we're not being taught to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. we're being taught self hate and self sabotage instead.

and that makes me so mad.

#disordered eating mention #and obviously im not talking about those poeple who tell you to go on a run to cure your depression or anything #but yeah going outside and moving your body and eating well and sleeping enough and hanging out with people you love #are one of the best ways of taking care of yourself #take it from me a psych student with adhd and depression who needs daily walks and regular yoga workouts to function #and meds. cant forget the meds #mental health #mental health talk #take care of yourself its the best way of standing up to patriarchy and beauty standards

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paroxsysdraw · 2 years

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conversations to have with your boyfriend

#therapy #therapy discussion #mental health talk #positivity #peace and love on planet earth #comic #web comic #did #endos dni #dissociative identity disorder #alter drawing #headmate art #tw demons #my art

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fcntasmas · 1 year

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been seeing a lot of people lately saying that they were told by a therapist that they’re “too” self-aware about their issues and therefore said therapist claimed they cannot offer them any help, so they feel like they’re unable to get help at all. and if this is the case for anyone, i just want to let you know, so you’re well aware:

that is not a good therapist. go look for another one.

#my therapist #the one who saved my life more times than i #can count #acknowledged my self-awareness.#and then worked with me anyway #bc self-awareness =/= no hope #it just means we are even more aware of our self-destructive behavior than most #and therefore feel even more powerless when we can’t stop it #a therapist should know that and work with you.#don’t give up on it #it speaks #mental health talk

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fitforestfairy · 1 month

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The power of a clean, neat environment 🫧

Mental Health Talk 💜

I'm strong with the Spring cleaning these days!

A clean, neat (and honestly, also cute!) environment is so crucial for me to stay healthy both physically and mentally.

Like having a clean floor is so important for me to do my daily yoga. And a neat environment with scented candles creates a harmonious environment for journaling, colouring or doing any crafts.

Never take the power of clean, neat surroundings for granted. And I know it can be incredibly challenging to do any sort of cleaning or tidying up if you are not doing well mental health wise. Do just a tiny bit at at time if that's all you can manage and know that you did something good for yourself.

That's one very valuable act of self care and self love (even if you feel like you don't deserve it).

#fitforestfairy #fairy talks #spring cleaning #clean environment #tidy environment #mental health #bpd #actually bpd #depression #ocd #anxiety #do what you can #fitblr #mental health talk

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tkstrandreyes · 1 year

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WM: You've been in Hollywood for three decades now. What has your career taught you about mental health and its importance?

GT: [In] the creative's life—not just actors, but any person that dares to enter the world of the arts—the discipline is different because it requires so much of yourself and not just in a labor sense, not just in a physical sense. It requires a kind of mental and emotional agility to be able to survive. That is true when you are successful as well as when you're not being as successful as you would like to be or not being as busy as you would like to be. Both ends of the spectrum are equally difficult to navigate.

I think most people think, Oh, she has it all. All her dreams are coming true. But there's a great deal of sacrifice that comes with living that kind of life, and it's very time-consuming, and it takes up a lot of emotional space as well.

WM: What time period stands out to you in your mental health journey?

GT: There are a couple, and they're related to the same thing. It's not exclusive to women, but it’s specific to women. It’s the idea of having it all and giving yourself a timeframe when you're starting out. When you're 19, you make your list: By the time I’m 25 (at least, that was the ideal age when I was growing up), I'm going to meet the man of my dreams, and I'm going to get married. By the time I'm 30, 32, I'm going to have a kid. By that time, Steven Spielberg and I are going to be really good friends. You know, all the things.

You turn 28, and that first one of your classmates gets married. Or you turn 25 and have zero prospects—you're in musical theater where 90% of men are gay, and that's your life [laughs].

I remember at 30, I had two girlfriends that were pregnant. I was like, Huh. How about that? Still no prospects. I'm in New Zealand wearing a brass bra and peekaboo suede pants during a recurring role on Hercules, and I’m being very well-paid for entertaining, fun nonsense, and my friends are having lives that mean something. [I’m wondering], Will I ever have that? Because now I'm 30.

[My first husband and I] knew each other for a long time, but we didn't get married till I was 34, and I didn't get pregnant till I was 38. I remember it took me that entire year to turn 35 because that was the magical number when women aren't hot anymore, when it's like you graduate to a whole other place. Not that I was ever the ingenue—let's just be clear about that—but I was like, Wow, did I miss it? And this was a while ago, and it’s changed because women my age have refused to be pigeonholed in this way.

For my own mental health and joy, I had to reassess and redefine what success meant for me. What you realize is that people equate success with, like, 2% of actors. So what are the other 98% of us doing? Well, if we’re fortunate enough, [a percentage of us] are keeping a roof over our heads, making all our bills in time, maybe making enough to go on vacation a couple of times a year, putting our kids through school, making sure our fridges and our pantries are full. That's being a successful actor. When you realize how hard it is and what the odds are, there are successful working-class actors out there.

So is it enough that I get to have the life that I have doing what I love to do? If it means I'm never on the side of a building. If it means I'm “aren't you that girl in…?” If that's all I get, is that enough? The answer for me was yes. It's not yes for everybody, but the answer for me was yes. … This is my joy; I get to do it and get paid for it. I could check off all those boxes. Yes, my bills are paid. Yes, I got to buy that place in New York; I'll always have a home. And then I got married, and then I had my kid, and then that was just a whole other like, Damn, am I gonna be a good mother? That’s a whole other box [laughs].

WM: If you could give yourself a pep talk right now, what would you say?

GT: It’s OK to take that nap today. Take that nap. … It's so important to restore and give yourself permission to feel all the feels. One of my best-kept secrets is that I'm actually an introvert, so I don't do particularly well in a room full of strangers. If I had my druthers, it wouldn't happen very often, but because of what I do, it is required. So there is an armor that goes on. This is where being an actor sort of comes in because there's Gina the public person that needs to show up for these events … and all that energy is incredibly overwhelming. I think you find that to be true in more actors and performers than you’d think because we're kind of open vessels, so we receive a lot of stuff. To protect myself from that, I just need to take myself out of the equation. I need to go away. I need to restore. I need quiet and to just go off on my own. I call it my panda time. I just need to climb up the mountain, get fat on bamboo, and don't bother.

WM: What other parting words of wisdom can you share with us?

GT: For anyone who's reading this, balance can be elusive—but only if you think of it as something that is a permanent state. Being balanced is a fluid state of being. Sometimes the scales are equal, but sometimes they teeter, sometimes they totter. If you know that's going to happen, then you're not setting yourself up for failure. Balance is a fluid beast. [It makes a difference] the more you can do to nurture yourself and surround yourself with people that support you and love you. It's not a crime to lean on anybody; it's not a crime to ask for help when you need it. Even if you think it's a small thing, if it's what you need, then it's not small—it's essential in that moment. That's the best way to prepare for all of that fluidity.

#Gina Torres #911 ls cast #911 Lone Star #mental health talk #interview

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