#miss congeniality au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hilarychuff · 2 years

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miss congeniality in my stranger things au graphic series

Over the years, Robin has worked stupidly hard to get as far as she has in the FBI. Her skills as a codebreaker were carefully honed, her fluency in now five different languages was hard-won, and it was no easy feat learning how to wrestle her stubbornly uncoordinated body into fighting shape so that she could throw a punch as good as the rest of the recruits. So when she botches the Russian op and finds herself yanked out of the field and plopped squarely on Assistant Director Hopper’s shit list, she’s desperate to make things right — not least of all because Steve has been put on the Miss United States case. Without her.

Everyone at the office knows that Robin and Steve are a matched set. They’re partners. They do everything together. So when Hopper explicitly bans her from the task force, well, she and Steve both know they’ll find a way around it. It’s a fascinating case, after all. Domestic terrorist threats. A big flashy pageant. And, of course, approximately 50 drop-dead gorgeous beauty queens to go with it. So when Robin comes up with the idea to send an undercover in as one of the contestants, she’s almost certain it’ll be enough to get her back in her boss’s good graces. Only, the thing is, she didn’t anticipate that she’d somehow be the sole eligible agent.

There’s really just… no universe in which Robin can pull this off, no matter how convinced Steve is that she’s the right person (the only person available with the right gender) for the job. He really thinks she can do it, and maybe she should give that more weight considering he’s the sole reason she passed her field test in the first place, but the idea of Robin as a graceful, gracious pageant queen who has the perfect, pretty words for all manner of intrusive interview questions is — well, it’s laughable. Robin literally laughed out loud when Steve first suggested it.

But now she’s here, all waxed and plucked and polished and wrapped in some pastel monstrosity of a skirt suit being shepherded onto a bus by pageant director Martin Brenner, and Robin finds that it’s not all bad when sweet little Miss Indiana sits down next to her. It doesn’t take long, however, for Steve to reveal that the very same Chrissy Cunningham — Chrissy “All You Need Is A Light Jacket” Fucking Cunningham — is their best suspect. And he’s insisting that Robin question her.

So Robin takes Chrissy and the other girls out. Robin gets Chrissy and the other girls drunk. And Robin asks Chrissy if she’s ever committed a crime — and is met with Miss Indiana’s enormous eyes, shining and sad, as Chrissy admits in the guiltiest of voices to stealing a pair of red underwear from the mall that her mother called satan’s panties. (And, for the record, Robin had not found that any more adorable or insanely sexy than was strictly professional given their circumstances, because Robin is good at her job. But god.)

It’s just — it’s not her. There’s literally no chance that sweet little Miss Indiana is the same person threatening to blow up the Miss United States pageant and the women in it. And Hopper finally gives in and agrees when he announces that the Citizen has been caught, the threat negated, and that it’s time for Robin to drop out of the pageant. But Robin doesn’t think that’s right, either. She has a bad feeling that it’s not over yet. But sticking it out might mean she does it alone. Alone alone, without even Steve by her side. And it might mean that when her work at the pageant is done, she doesn’t have any other work to go back to.

ft. robin as gracie hart, chrissy as cheryl frasier/miss rhode island, steve as eric matthews, hopper as assistant director mcdonald, brenner as kathy morningside, henry creel as frank tobin, murray as victor melling, owens as stan fields, nancy as mary jo wright/miss texas, tammy as leslie davis/miss california, carol as alana krewson/miss hawaii, vickie as karen krantz/miss new york

#buckingham #robin x chrissy #chrissy x robin #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #stranger things #stranger things au #miss congeniality au #did i make miss congeniality gay or is miss congeniality just gay #dont ask me ask urself that #anyway #steve harrington #he's also here and i love him #platonic stobin #stranger things miss congeniality au #stranger things au series #my au graphics #my graphics

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will-grahams-baby-girl · 10 months

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Miss Congeniality AU with Sam or Alcide?

#true blood #sam merlotte #alcide herveaux #eric northman #miss congeniality #miss congeniality au

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dirtyrobber70 · 1 year

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Please consider rizzles Miss Congeniality au, pre-girlified Sandra Bullock is already Jane, and Maura the actually social justice world peace worker contestant that makes Jane realize she was being a presumptive asshole

Maura mob princess wants to take out the contest that took out her mother and hurts women, ends up meeting her match in Gracie Lou Freebush from MA

These are great ideas. Pre-girlified Sandra Bullock is already Jane for sure!

#rizzles #miss congeniality au #asks #answered

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scary-grace · 2 years

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#titanic au #miss congeniality au #[redacted] au #fair folk 2 electric boogaloo #fair folk au #romance novelist au #aqp au

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jtl-fics · 11 months

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Fluent Freshman - Part 22

Y’know how sometimes you have something that you need to do or something that you know is going to happen but you just keep…putting it off? Like you know at some point it is going to happen but you put it off over and over and over and over again? You’re getting increasingly anxious every time you put it off because you know it has to get done but you also know that the longer you wait the worse it is going to get. Finally, FINALLY, the anxiety is just a little too much and you end up having to deal with it.

You finally deal with it and the whole ordeal takes maybe five minutes tops and it was in no way shape or form worth the level of anxiety that you put yourself through. Like you worried about this for a good and long while and it wasn’t even that bad?

That is currently how FF feels about being stabbed by Andrew Minyard.

This is what he was so worried about that he had lost sleep, had nightmares, had lost weight, and had exacerbated his stress ulcers over.

Getting stabbed wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he had thought it was going to be. Maybe it was the fact that it was just a single stab wound instead of the Psycho levels that he had been imagining (Wow, showers were going to be so much less stressful now that he didn’t have to confirm Andrew Minyard’s location before triple checking the lock). Maybe it was the fact that he is PUMPED full of adrenaline from his fights against Jackson and Romero but the stab wound didn’t even really hurt at the moment.

This isn’t even the worse thing that had happened to him this year!

That honor still goes to the joint winners of when his Step Family and mother found out that he had a full-ride to Palmetto and when he had tripped up the same step on the stairs at school three times in a row as people watched and laughed.

(Maybe also the solitary congratulations from his Grandma in regards to his graduation but FF doesn’t let himself think about that, won’t think about it.)

He wouldn’t necessarily call being in a state of ‘stabbed’ a pleasant time but Andrew was being so NICE about it.

“Stop trying to sit up you fucking idiot!” Andrew shouts at him.

Well….Andrew’s version of nice.

(This is the same version of nice that he had misunderstood for months at this point. Maybe FF is just enough in shock from the stab wound in his stomach that he’s starting to grasp the basics in the difficult language of Andrew Minyard’s niceness.)

Andrew had gotten off the phone with 911 and then started pulling off his own jacket before draping it over FF’s upper body, wedging his phone between his shoulder and his ear, and then Andrew started to apply pressure to his stomach wound.

Ow.

That is not a great feeling. This stabbing may eke out past the great triple trip of March 2010.

“No, take back your jacket. You’ll get cold if you don’t have it on.” FF argues because his own jacket is barely doing the job. Maybe it’s the cold pavement of the alley, maybe it’s the blood loss, or maybe it’s the cooling sweat he’d worked up but he is shivering pretty badly.

A thought occurs to him as he feels the weird wet stickiness of his own blood sticking to Nicky’s shirt. “Can you help me get my jacket off?” He asks looking pleadingly at Andrew, “It’s my dad’s. I don’t wanna mess it up with my blood.” He clarifies when Andrew looks at him like he’s a lunatic.

Except his second call must connect right then because Andrew’s answer is non-sensical to what FF had asked, “Neil, let Roland know the police and ambulances are en route.” There’s a brief pause and the pressure against his stomach increases as a muscle in Andrew’s jaw jumps. “Smith got stabbed.” He says and he looks angry, angrier than FF had ever seen Andrew when he’s talking to Captain Neil. There is another pause, more than likely Neil saying something or asking a question, “No, it wasn’t them.” Andrew grits out and the pressure on FF’s stomach hurts, “Just get out here, I need help with smith and making sure these two assholes don’t go anywhere before the police come and grab them.” He says before he pulls one hand away from Smith’s stomach (wow he really is bleeding isn’t he?) to hang up the phone.

Andrew’s gaze turns back to him fully, “You’re not moving an inch Smith, your jacket can be cleaned.” He hisses. “Now stay still and don’t fall asleep.” He orders.

Andrew seems stressed so FF complies. He can’t help but notice how Andrew’s hands seem to be shaking as the press down on his stomach. He kind of wishes he had a pillow or something for his head because he’s starting to feel a little dizzy. Andrew’s jacket would be safer from his blood if it was a pillow instead of a blanket. Still, FF would sooner die than spit on any of Andrew’s current efforts to make him more comfortable.

He looks at the knife sticking out of his stomach. Well, he might die regardless of whether or not he spits on Andrew’s efforts.

He needs to take his mind off this.

“Should we take it out and pretend the Dundee knife stabbed me instead??” FF asks letting his mind go to the first thought in his head so that he could be distracted from his own mortality. “I think it’s still under the dumpster over there.” He moves to point one of his hands towards where the knife had remained throughout this entire ordeal.

Andrew’s knee pinned his arm before he could move it, “Stop moving Smith.” Andrew reminded him before moving his knee. “We have to leave the knife in. You’ll bleed to death otherwise.” Andrew reminds.

“I guess that’s true, so do we just say that Romero got a handle on your knife and stabbed me?” He asks fighting his own shivers since he’s a little worried that any shaking on his part would just make the stab wound worse.

“I stabbed you Smith.” Andrew says looking at him with a furrowed brow.

“Yeah, I know,” FF agrees, “but we’re not going to say THAT to the cops.” He says and shock really is one HELL of a drug because he thinks he might have actually given Andrew Minyard an incredulous look with his atrophied face muscles. It’s either Shock or the knowledge that even if he irritates Andrew, what’s Andrew going to do about it?

STAB HIM?

“You’re going to lie to the cops?” Andrew asks, “I STABBED you Smith.” Andrew repeats.

“Yeah, I know!” FF repeats back, “You stabbed me on ACCIDENT.” FF makes sure to use the same intonation that Andrew had used to emphasize the word Stabbed. “Jackson wanted to stab me on PURPOSE. You saw that knife Andrew.” He tries to gesture towards the knife again but again Andrew’s knee pinned his hand.

He could use his other one but the reminder to stay still is enough.

“I still stabbed you.” Andrew says removing his knee again when it’s clear that FF wasn’t going to try and gesture again.

“Well, if I was going to get stabbed by anyone, I guess I’m glad my first time was with you.” Andrew let’s out a bark of a laugh that sounds more like it was punched out of him than anything, “Honestly, I don’t think Jackson would have given me his jacket afterwards or try and help me keep my blood in my body.” He says and it feels like a victory (not a both hands in the air victory cry level victory but it was close) when Andrew’s face settled into one of faint amusement.

“Probably not.” Andrew agreed, “He doesn’t seem big on Aftercare.” He says.

FF doesn’t know what that means but nods like he does, “So, Romero got a hold of your knife during our tussle and he’s the one who stabbed me. Okay? That’s the story I’m going to stick with no matter who asks me.” He looks Andrew in the eye.

“Alright Smith,” one of Andrew’s hands leaves his stomach and clasps around his shoulder and FF can’t help but notice how neither of Andrew’s hands are shaking anymore. “We can lie to the police.” He squeezes FF’s shoulder.

“Nice.” He says and lets his head fall back onto the concrete. He hears a siren in the distance and hopes it’s coming for him.

They sit in silence for maybe 30 seconds before the door slams open and only Andrew’s hands on his stomach and shoulder keep him from shooting straight up in a panic. Captain Neil seemed to take in the scene at lightning speed but it was Andrew who spoke first, “You left Aaron and Nicky with Roland?” He asks.

“Yeah I did,” Captain Neil confirms and FF can see the moment that his eyes land on the knife handle jutting out of FF’s stomach, “Andrew, what are we going to tell the police?” Captain Neil asks and FF could already see Neil crafting a lie to cover Andrew. That’s one of the things that FF likes about Captain Neil and Andrew’s relationship. He thinks it’s nice that both of them have someone who no matter the circumstances would be there with a shovel to help bury a body. He even thought it was nice when he thought it’d be his body!

“The second guy stabbed me.” The lie comes out smoothly which is good because he is planning on committing to it and Captain Neil blinks and looks at him, “He got hold of Andrew’s knife during the tussle.” He adds.

Captain Neil looks to Andrew, “You said it wasn’t-“

“I guess Smith can lie to a liar.” Andrew interrupts.

Captain Neil’s eyes widen before a wicked grin spread across his face that made FF just a little uncomfortable but only because Andrew’s grip on his shoulder suddenly tightened and his nostrils flared the way they did before the two usually started speaking in Russian.

He can handle being stabbed, he cannot handle being in shock and pretending that he doesn’t know what the two of them are saying to one another.

“Can you tell Nicky I’m sorry I got blood on his clothes?” He asks and both Captain Neil and Andrew’s gaze snap away from eye-fucking each other. He looks down and the clothes are black and they haven’t moved the knife so the wound is plugged still but yeah there’s definitely blood seeping into the shirt, not to mention the hole. “Could you tell him I’m sorry about that?” He asks.

“You are going to tell him yourself Smith.” Andrew hisses, “You are going to be fine. Do you understand me?” He asks before turning to Neil, “Can you bunch your jacket under his legs, it’s better to keep them higher than his head and heart?” He asks.

Aw.

Andrew is just so nice.

He can’t BELIEVE he thought Andrew wanted to hunt him for sport.

He’d apologize for thinking that but he thinks it’d be better to just let that particular misunderstanding go unmentioned.

Captain Neil bunches his jacket up and puts it under FF’s legs before he goes over to check on Romero and Jackson. In the corner of his eye he sees Captain Neil pause at the sight of Romero before moving over to Jackson.

“Why is he in these?!” Neil asks baffled.

“It’s a weird sex alley Captain Neil! I don’t know WHAT to tell you!” Yeah he’s definitely going into shock. The sirens are getting closer though so he’ll probably be okay.

***

The cops all have a bit of a laugh about Jackson’s cuffs until Neil tells them exactly who they are taking into custody. Neil could admit that he’s a little irritated with Andrew that at no point did the man clarify that the people who FF and Andrew were dealing with were Romero and Jackson.

Those are his father’s goons.

“They were here for me.” Neil says to the police officer and Andrew’s hand tightens in his, “They tried to take Smith because he’s my friend.”

They had decided on their story before the cops came. FF had no idea who any of these people were and was just defending himself. He’d gone out to catch his breath in the alley when Jackson had shown up. Neil had asked how in the world FF had handled Jackson on his own but FF must have been getting kind of loopy from blood loss because all he said was, “He told me to sing so I did.”

Neil can find out the full story later.

The important part is.

“Jackson went after Smith but Smith won the fight.” Neil says looking at where the cops are trying to decide how to get the fuzzy pink handcuffs off of Jackson to get him in the far more secure police issued handcuffs.

“Your friend said that you and he took out Romero together. That Romero is the one who stabbed him with your knife.” He says.

“Yes.” Andrew answers simply and Neil squeezes his hand as a reminder, “I went out to grab a smoke and Romero followed after me. Romero got hold of one of my knives in the struggle and stabbed Smith.” Andrew says with his usual deadpan affect.

“Yeah that’s what your friend Smith was saying too.” The officer says. “Well, I’m sure the FBI will want to talk to you all further but for now it’s a pretty clear cut case of self defense and no one but your friend has any serious injuries.” The officer pats Neil on the shoulder and Neil manages not to shirk away from the touch. The officer retracts his hand, “You guys are free to go tonight.” He says and turns back towards the car where a dazed Romero is in the back seat.

“Where did they take Smith?” Andrew asks since they’d been shepherded away from Smith the moment the ambulance had come. They hadn’t been able to ask which hospital Smith was going to be taken to so they could go and get updates.

“Lexington.” The cop answers, “Go on and see your friend. He seemed pretty loopy he kept talking about some beauty contest thing when he was getting loaded into the ambulance. I’m sure he’ll be a riot on painkillers.” The cop goes for a joke but it twists something in Neil’s stomach to think of FF so out of it that he’s talking nonsensically.

He feels Andrew’s hand stiffen in his and knows he’s not alone.

“Thanks.” Neil says before they head towards the front of the club. The club had been emptied out when the cops had come so Roland was babysitting Aaron and Nicky for them while they talked to the cops and FF was loaded out to the hospital.

In a way it’s almost a blessing that Nicky and Aaron are both so blasted that they aren’t comprehending any of what’s going on. They’ll have to drop them off back at the house before they go to the hospital. They’ll beat Wymack there easily even after the interrogation and drop off.

FF had asked them to call Wymack to let him know what was going on “I gave him the rights to make health care decisions for me if I’m incapacitated.” FF had said so Neil texts Wymack the hospital and the address after Andrew rattles it off for him.

“I don’t like that you hid it from me.” Neil says in the car.

“They wanted to kill you.” Andrew won’t apologize.

They still hold hands on the drive back to the Columbia house.

Andrew takes care of getting Aaron into bed while Neil helps Nicky.

Nicky who looks at Neil with a loopy smile and Neil hurts knowing that tomorrow when Nicky finds out about tonight and how he was too blasted to do anything to help FF.

Andrew and Neil reconvene in the Maserati and make their way to the hospital before either of them realize the issue.

“What is the name of the patient you’re looking for an update on?” The receptionist asks.

Both Andrew and Neil freeze.

Fuck.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupandfries @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit @lesbian-blackbeard @lesbiansupernatural @silvermasquerade @thepeachfuzz @minniemariex @kazoo-the-demjin @gaypomegranate @ji-nk-ies @neilimfinejosten

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #Andrew: Smith is in the hospital.#Wymack (half awake): What did you do #Andrew: He got stabbed #Wymack: I thought you LIKED Smith #Wymack: Whatever admit to nothing I'm on my way #Twenty minutes later Andrew gets a text informing him that Kevin is coming #Andrew: Great just great #FF is having the time of his life in the ambulance #They gave him something for his pain #FF: You get what I mean right? Like that was a funny line since it's about Miss Congeniality?#EMT: Now that I understand the context that's a solid joke #FF: THANK YOU.#FF: I can't BELIEVE none of those cops got it #FF: I was so glad you loaded me in here because I thought I was going to die of shame when no one laughed #EMT: Well we wouldn't want that #EMT: How's your pain by. the way buddy?#FF: Wow four friends in one night. I am on a ROLL.#AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG Fic #Andreil #AFTG AU #My Fic #FF - Part 22

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thesweetnessofspring · 9 months

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An Everlark Miss Congeniality AU where everyone in the FBI is like "what agent can we send into this mission at the beauty pageant?" and Agent Peeta says, "um, isn't it obvious Katniss is gorgeous and is the obvious fit for this assignment?" And at first she's like, "wtf? Shut up Peeta, I can't be in a beauty pageant!" And she thinks that he hates her for getting her put on this assignment, but he's just flustered by her because he thinks she's really smart and cool and pretty. Cinna gives her a makeover and Haymitch is her coach, who is a disgraced ex-pageant coach due to his alcoholism, but is smart and knows how to work the contest. Peeta is assigned to be her handler in the case and she realizes that she might have a teensy crush on him, which over the course of the fic turns into a deep deep need to kiss him senseless.

#everlark #everlark au #thg au ideas #i have not watched miss congeniality in like 10 years but i think i'm remembering the plot right #file under things i want to read but have no time to write myself

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phoenixyfriend · 2 years

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Came up with a Miss Congeniality AU today, with a bunch of input from @whymylifewrites, who actually did suggest the main ship to be Quintress, which I just lost my mind about, because yes.

(I'll integrate most of her comments into the post naturally, but a few took the form of a Q&A that I left as separately indicated.)

It would be so easy for Dooku to be the Pageant Coach.

Dooku: Of any girl I've ever taught, you are truly unique. If I ever had a daughter, I imagine she would be a lot like you. Ventress: [smiles] Dooku: Which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Just imagine him doing a Judgmental Pose when he looks Ventress up and down. He can do a lot but they are going to need quite some foundation to cover the facial tattoos.

"They're cultural! Those are allowed!" "They're identifying marks that would have been a scandal in the state pageant; people will wonder they hadn't heard about them already."

As far as 'why is Ventress in the FBI' goes... I think she was a recruit from like. People they arrested. Like she was such a good criminal that they offered to pay her to stop crimes with them instead, and now she's the only person that can pass for young enough to do this undercover work. Quinlan almost definitely recruited her.

The pageant director needs to be Evil and Woman and Femme so I guess Miraj Scintel. The host isn't in on the crime, so... I would have said Obi-Wan but he's already got a role. Other options are Mace or Bail, so I'm going with Bail.

Ventress goes in expecting airheads and instead gets blindsided by shit like "Oh hey, we just looked up New York's arrest record" and "Massachusetts graduated Summa Cum Laude and is expected to be a Senator less than ten years after she finishes her law degree; also she put off her wedding for this since contestants can't be married.

(Listen. Padme's from Martha's Vineyard. I declare it so.)

Ventress befriends: New York - Bo-Katan - they spar at least once, and it's flirty until Bo mentions her girlfriend back in the city Mass. - Padme - they get into really long arguments about government overreach and law enforcement; put off her wedding for this Nevada - Ahsoka - baby of the event (just barely scraped by as old enough), jokes about biting people. Her pageant coach is her adoptive brother, Obi-Wan; her talent is acrobatics or aerial silks Louisiana - Aayla - baton twirler Texas - Fennec - Ventress's roommate, and also very much emblematic of the movie quote about how "This is Texas, everyone has a gun." Illinois - Bly - first trans contestant, flirty with Aayla

Other contestants: North Dakota - Barriss - her talent is piano Alabama - Steela - violin Montana - Riyo - talent is opera singing

Bo would also be a decent Main if not Ventress. She's the New York Lesbian, I've decided. She is doing it purely for the scholarship money. Satine didn't pressure her but I think she trained Bo and was the one who suggested it as an option for College Things.

I think Ventress deserves to make creepy comments about how to Do Crime that all the other girls look at her like ??? for, except Bo. Bo thinks the comments are Entirely Reasonable And Normal.

Bo adds her own comments and Padme looks on in mild disappointment. Ahsoka asks clarifying questions. She wants to be one of the big kids and Fit In.

Ventress: Nah, that wouldn't work, you need a higher quality wiring if you want to short-circuit that alarm to break in without alerting the cops. Padme: ...I mean I know why I know that. Why do you know that?

Barriss does not at all know or understand what kind of company she's fallen into

Ventress and Bo have extensive criminal records. Padme's fiance is an electrical genius who likes to watch youtube videos about how to Do Crime Things because he fantasizes about being a Leverage character. Ahsoka's ready for anything. Steela's done a lot of Macgyvering nonsense, she gives me A/V club vibes. Aayla's a kickboxing teacher.

Barriss is just. Here.

Ventress is getting a very skewed idea of what beauty pageant contestants are like.

Whymylife said "ok all of this is perfect but anakin fantasizing about being a leverage character when ventress is as close to a real life leverage character one can get is so so funny to me"

Padme decides she has to introduce them. I think Ventress want to noogie him.

Dooku introduces Ventress to Ahsoka because he knows Obi-Wan through the pageant circuit.

whymylife said "i was wondering how like, the anakin and obi-wan and ahsoka situation is. like did anakin move to mass for college or something and meet padme there? was padme's involvement with the pageant what inspired ahsoka to do it?"

Which yes, I'm a-okay with that.

Initially I said that, honestly, the only part too complicated to keep is Aayla and Quinlan, because they could have theoretically just asked if he could get his little sister to wear a wire.

HOWEVER there is room for PLOT

Aayla doesn't have any kind of security clearance, so they still need an actual field agent to send in. Quinlan spends the entire op dodging Aayla and trying not to let her see he's here and supporting her competition.

Aayla wants nothing to do with this FBI nonsense, and so Quin is like "No, my little sis is 100% not an option. We have to stick my rival/crush/work buddy in the heels instead."

Bly and Aayla almost kiss during the girl's night out, but then one of them vomits or faints like Rhode Island in the movie. They share some hot chocolate after the climax when post-bomb cleanup is happening (they're just sitting on the steps, a little torn up, hair in disarray) and Their Shoulders Are Touching.

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tarzelladraws · 2 years

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Miss Congeniality au 🧨👑

#myart #my art #art #tarzelladraws #star wars #sw #reylo #ben solo #fanart #rey nobody #kylo ren #reylo au #miss congeniality #movie au

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pixiereblogs · 1 year

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Pixie Recaps Picard | Imposters

#star trek picard #worf #raffi #the worf and rafaela show #miss congeniality #legit want that au now #worf x raffi

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rbelle310 · 1 year

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Imagine frumpy secret agent Sakusa Kiyoomi being forced to masquerade as a male model to investigate a human trafficking ring fronting as an agency.

He's got his crazy curls exactly like he did in high school except worse, hasn't worn anything suitable for polite company outside of his work clothes.

It's not an exaggeration to say that Agent Sakusa's entire closet is basically carried over from college when he went to class in his jammies, and his high school sweats that don't actually fit him anymore but he wears them anyway.

The man isn't fit to be seen in public, but thankfully he's not going to be alone in this.

Enter disgraced stylist, Miya Atsumu who once worked behind the scenes in some of the most glitzy and glamorous events from red carpets to Rakut*n Fashion Week.

His only flaw apart from (in his opinion) being too handsome for this world? The man is a complete asshole, with a nasty temper and a tongue like a rasp.

After a public altercation in which Atsumu was filmed screaming at an A-list actor for being a hideous, pig-faced scrub without a lick of poise, he's been black-listed in the industry. He now spends his days plastered when he's not 'helping' his twin in the restaurant.

Life seems pretty bleak for Atsumu, and then one day he gets a call from some guy calling himself 'Kuroo'.

"Myaa-san, I heard from a kohai that you're 'the best he's ever worked with, even if a little scary'. So how would you like a chance to redeem yourself?"

Atsumu thinks it's a joke and tells Kuroo to go fuck himself. But then he gets an email with Sakusa's photos.

He looks at the hair (he can almost see the birds nesting), the uniform (nice) and the faded Itachiyama sweats that hang two inches above his ankles (lord have mercy).

It's a mess, but to Atsumu's discerning eye, he can see the canvas.

Sakusa Kiyoomi may look like he spends his free time wandering Akihabara in flannels, but he's also tall and well-built with a jawline so sharp you could cut glass with it.

There's also, as Atsumu realises after staring at the attachments for an inappropriate length of time, a slight pout to Sakusa's lips that would pop nicely with the right tint.

"When I'm done with ya, you'll be the prettiest boy at the ball." he murmurs, the beginnings of a grin forming. Just a hint though. He doesn't want to get carried away.

"Tsumu! Stop jerking off back there, lunch rush is startin in ten minutes!"

"FUCK OFF SAMU!" Atsumu yells back, "I'M WORKIN."

He stuffs his phone in his pocket, throws the apron off (nearly tripping in the process) and runs out the door.

Five minutes later, he comes back, puts the apron back on and finishes lunch. He's an asshole, not irresponsible.

Of course Atsumu takes the job, he's more excited than he'd like to admit. He's getting ideas in his head, all the things he could do with that raw material.

If only he'd actually *met* Sakusa Kiyoomi first before agreeing.

Pretty Sakusa, fussy Sakusa, a frowning Sakusa who turns to his chief and says, "I didn't agree to this. I thought we were just buying clothes."

The agent is only a fraction taller than Atsumu, but he holds himself in a way that Atsumu can almost look up his delicate and pointy nose.

"I don't need some control freak with a dye-job turning my life upside down. I just need to dress the part to get my foot in the door."

The other agents in the room hold their breath awaiting the eruption of Mount Miya. Of course, they'd all seen The Video. One of them chokes back a snort, round eyebrows writhing with the effort of not laughing.

Some muscle in Atsumu's cheek twitches. He's smiling, he tells himself, he's not going to explode. He's not. He's...

"YA THINK ANY MODEL AGENCY WILL LOOK TWICE AT A PIG IN HUMAN CLOTHES?! YA DO IT RIGHT OR I'LL SHAVE YER FUCKIN HEAD AND LET YA WALK NAKED!"

It takes half the agents to pry Atsumu off Sakusa and the other self-sacrificing half to stop Sakusa from successfully macing Atsumu.

A while later, Kuroo walks into the tech office where their lead analyst Kenma is replaying footage of the fracas.

"Well that went well."

This is the recipe for a late 90s action comedy with maybe a lick of thriller, an obligatory fashion montage and so much, so so much unresolved sexual tension.

Brought to you by Karasuno Productions and the director of Haikyū Fighter.

Coming soon to a theatre near you.

#haikyuu!!#secret agent au #miss congeniality #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #kuroo tetsuro

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incorrect-supercorp · 2 years

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istg, i'm gonna die laughing and that's okay but you have to explain to my mom what happened. 🤣

okay but only if your mom is hot jk let's hope the fbi doesn't come after me :0

#lmaoo #don't die pls glad you're enjoying my blog! made my day <3 #hope you have an amazing one nonnie #anon #answered #edit: i only said fbi bc i read jazz's miss congeniality au today it was so fucken good frfr

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hilarychuff · 1 year

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She’s Beauty and She’s Grace (She’s Miss United States)

a miss congeniality au buckingham fic

inspired by this au graphic; read it on ao3 here

The first time she meets Chrissy Cunningham, it’s on the bus from the hotel to the pageant venue. Robin is doing her best to keep the mission in mind, to stay focused on the operation at hand, but part of the Citizen case now includes going undercover as a pageant girl and, well, it’s just not a role she’d ever even imagined she might take on — not even once she’d come up with the idea that someone in their office should.

Over the last decade and change, Robin has accomplished a lot. She’d learned four languages by the time she graduated high school, two more by the end of college. She’d proven herself to be one of the most accomplished and dedicated codebreakers in her class at Quantico, made a name for herself in the D.C. field office. Hell, she’s even learned how to plant her feet and throw a punch properly, something she never would’ve expected to be able to do. Robin is used to being capable, to being good at her job, and she’s also used to surprising herself when it comes to fitting into new situations, adapting fast to what she once thought was unthinkable. But she’s also never been surrounded by so many beautiful women.

She’s an agent of the FBI. She’s a professional. She knows how to keep her cool. It’s just… kind of dizzying.

keep reading

#buckingham #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #chrissy x robin #robin x chrissy #stranger things #stranger things au #stranger things miss congeniality au #my writing

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markedbyindecision · 4 months

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looking back at some of the fanfiction i wrote in like 2021 and the amount of supercorp aus i started and didn’t finish is a lot more than i expected

#there was a whole apocalypse au i wanted to do? and miss congeniality but a) someone already did that and it’s perfect and b) i wanted to #write miss congeniality aus for every ship i liked tbh. i feel like that’s a really good au movie to use #saf speaks #**writing #**supergirl

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jtl-fics · 11 months

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Fluent Freshman - Part 20

FF had watched more than a few self-defense videos when he believed that Andrew Minyard was looking for a dark alley to stab him in. He had learned how to turn the attacker’s momentum against them. Had learned about disarming the person trying to stab him.

He’d even had Matt teach him a few punches claiming that it was for the dust-ups that tended to happen on the court.

He, naturally, does not use any of that knowledge because his mind immediately reverts into Lizard panic mode the moment Jackson Plank takes another step forward with a knife (HUGE. Is it wild that he is thinking about Crocodile Dundee right now?)

“If you come quietly you won’t get hurt.” Jackson says and he reverts to who he is as a person and he freezes. His bravery was used up maybe it was only ever tied to great pump up songs and now in the silence of the alley he is back to being Stone-Faced Smith.

“You’re going to dial up Wesninski and if you don’t say EXACTLY what I tell you to then I’m going to have you SING in agony.”

Y’know in that moment he stops thinking about Crocodile Dundee.

He thinks about a movie that is far more ingrained in his mind than any number of self-defense videos or one-off lessons with Matthew Boyd where he’d been trying not to flinch. A movie he had watched in better days with his family and had been a favorite of his Grandma’s (and his).

He thinks about Miss Congeniality.

Sandra Bullock as Gracie Hart has taught him everything he ever truly needs to know when he takes a step back and Jackson comes at him.

He strikes right at Jackson’s nose with the palm of his hand.

“SON OF A-“

The knife is dropped and FF kicks it under a dumpster.

FF grabs the single weapon he has on his person.

The McDonald’s Megamind Happy Meal Light Effects Brainbot.

He points the LED light straight at Jackson’s eyes and just like Aaron in the car on the way back, “Shit, that’s bright!” And now completely blinded by a combination of watery eyes and LED McDonald’s toy he proceeds to SING just as Gracie Hart had taught him.

S - Solar Plexus. He punches Jackson there as hard as he can.

I - Instep. He smashes his booted foot down on the inside of Jackson’s shoes (who the fuck wears LOAFERS to a kidnapping?)

N - Nose. He’d feel bad about hitting it again if Jackson wasn’t y’know…a hitman out to hurt Captain Neil.

G - Groin. He may have to give himself just half a second to apologize to all of mankind for what he is about to do. His step brothers had definitely kicked him in the groin plenty of times to try and get a reaction. It’s an art to not let anyone know that your ball has retreated up into lower intestine. He kicks Jackson as hard as he can (collegiate athlete) with the boots that Nicky had let him borrow. He is right on target with the toe of his shoes.

Jackson goes down.

The next thing he does is not something Gracie Hart had taught him but does still feel like the right thing to do in this situation. He kicks Jackson in the head and the man goes limp.

If FF throws both hands up in the air and lets out a “I am Miss Congeniality!” Victory cry into the alleyway well no one is around or awake to know that.

He feels like he deserves a sash and a crown and some flowers.

He looks down at Jackson and then over at the van the man had hopped out of. He was definitely PLANNING on kidnapping Captain Neil so he probably has like…some kind of restraint?

Well, better to completely subdue this guy before he tries to figure out the game plan for Romero. Wait, what’s that next to the Crocodile Dundee knife, are those...?

***

Roland is calling for a second time.

Andrew had let it go to voicemail the first time. It was usually Roland complaining about Nicky, Aaron, or Kevin doing something exceptionally stupid in their inebriated states. They have a system. Roland will call and leave a voicemail detailing the dumb shit his family has gotten up to and then he’ll let it go.

If Roland calls twice then there’s an issue.

Arm still around Neil’s shoulders he answers the phone, “What.” He asks.

“You need to help your new friend. There’s some guy following him, he’s armed and dangerous and looking for someone to grab to get Neil’s attention. He tried to lead the guy outside but he’s standing watching it for now so there might have already been someone waiting?” Roland gets out in a rush and Andrew is up and moving towards the stairs even as he’s closing the phone to disconnect the call.

Neil, of course, is right on his heels. “What is it? Did something happen?” Neil asks and they are up the stairs and pushing past Frank and his stupid pineapple shirt. Andrew spots Nicky and he spots Aaron.

“Get Nicky and Aaron somewhere safe. I need to go help Smith with something.” He says because whoever this is wants Neil and Andrew will not let Neil get within grabbing distance and won’t mention it. Neil, blessedly, does what Andrew asks without question.

Andrew scans the crowd and finds a man whose gaze goes between his phone and the back door.

A face that Andrew had memorized.

One of Nathan’s surviving men.

In the same Zip Code as Neil.

And that man has the audacity to still be breathing.

He looks and Nicky and Aaron (drunk, drugged, and useless because Andrew had wanted them to be) are with Neil and Roland is directing them to the backroom.

Andrew goes out the alley and can feel Romero’s eyes on him.

He’s prepared for a lot of things to see out in that alley. He’s angry that FF hadn’t just come down and grabbed him and Neil (he does not need TWO martyrs) and he wants to know what the fuck FF was thinking (or if he was thinking at all). Even with that anger he does not wish to see FF’s blood spilled all over an alleyway because Andrew’s family needed to be protected and FF was the only one sober enough and aware enough to do it.

He knows what Nathan’s men are capable of.

Knows that Romero was one of Nathan’s best so if there is someone out in the alleyway then it’s likely one of his other bests.

FF doesn’t even know how to use a knife. He had asked and FF had firmly declined every time Andrew had brought it up after the first fainting incident. “I’m not interested in learning that. No.” Had been the standard response.

He knew FF had at least taken a lesson or two from Boyd on throwing a punch considering the one he shot out a week ago when a Striker came at him after the third time FF intercepted a pass.

Still, Andrew had not anticipated coming out into the alleyway and finding an unharmed FF securing an unconscious Jackson Plank’s arms behind his back with fuzzy handcuffs.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks and FF looks up at him with a flush on his cheeks.

“It’s not my fault this is a weird sex alleyway! They’re the first thing I found on my way over to the van to look for actual restraints.” FF says immediately and Andrew almost laughs at the insanity of it. “Wait, where’s Captain Neil?” FF looks around nervously.

“He’s with Aaron and Nicky in the backroom. Roland gave me your S.O.S.” Andrew says even as he quickly makes his way away from the door and towards FF. “Romero is watching the door. Let’s give him a reason to come out.” He says going over to Jackson and when he rolls the man over he raises an eyebrow at the piss stain on his pants and the blood dripping down his nose.

He looks to FF who resolutely does not look back at him.

It’s a story he’ll get out of his friend eventually. Looks like FF didn’t really need those knife lessons. Something settles a bit more in Andrew, it’s nice to have someone else in their group that could handle themselves in a fight.

Andrew finds a phone and FF rolls Jackson back onto his stomach, “He could choke on his own blood.” He shrugs and Andrew wouldn’t care if Jackson choked on his own blood in fuzzy handcuffs in a back alley but he can understand FF not wanting a murder charge.

Andrew looks at the phone and sees the the swipe pattern clear as day. It takes him two tries to get the order right but then Jackson’s phone is available for him to get over to the texting app.

The texts he reads there make him angry. There were a lot of plans on what the two of them were going to do to Neil before his body was offered up to a different crime family to show that Romero and Jackson had no loyalty left to the Wesninski line.

He types out a text to Romero that will have the jackass come out thinking everything had gone well and they had two hostages. He looks over to FF, “You ready for round two?” He asks.

“There isn’t a tap out option right?” FF asks and Andrew laughs at the joke.

Always cool under pressure it seems.

“No.”

“Then yeah, I guess just hit send.” FF says with a shrug.

Andrew does just that.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Didn’t wanna leave ya’ll hanging on that particular cliffhanger for too long ;)

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #I would like to thank Sandra Bullock's performance for allowing me to write the stupidest fight scene ever #I would also like to thank my sister for getting engaged on April 25th so Miss Congeniality was floating around in the noggin already #Andrew: Smith is really cool under pressure. He can make jokes at a time like this.#FF: What if no one believes me that I found these handcuffs in the alley?#He's too focused on the embarrassment of using those handcuffs to focus on the fact that round 2 is about to happen #Did my 'research' involve finding out EXACTLY what McDonald's happy meal toys were being offered November 2010 #Perhaps #The internet really does just have like a whole shitload of people who will just have a database of seemingly useless knowledge #I love those people #Neil may be pacing up a storm in the back room but Keeping Nicky away from the dance floor is a full time job #For ONCE Aaron is the easy one to deal with #Roland just gave him a virgin drink and he's happy #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #AFTG Fic #My Fics #It's shorter because I didn't wanna leave ya'll hanging #FF - Pt. 20

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