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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

Spoiler for Jujutsu Kaisen

I'm sorry it's so long and looks like a vent post. I'm sorry for those of you who had great luck in avoiding Jujutsu Kaisen until now. With that, let me give some context before the assholery.

Jujutsu Kaisen has a breakout character, Gojo, he is unique, flawed, well written, well loved, overpowered, and the most misunderstood character in this series. He recently met his end in the most infuriating way possible. It was an unceremonious death, off screened, after the biggest most violent battle in the series. Before he was brutally offed with just meaningless exposition detailing how he was killed and him uncharacteristically justifying the death in an afterlife scene that's written to appease a large part of the fandom (shippers- he's gay coded, no waifu here). His death completely destroyed his legacy and the future of this manga.

Problem: This is a popular series with disproportionate numbers of haters, casual fans, fans who get their information from tiktok or fanworks instead of the manga, fans who did a surface level reading of it, opinionated fans who didn't read after a certain point but discuss every new chapter like they're experts, people who hate it because they compared it to their favorite series and Jujutsu Kaisen didn't go that way, people who harass the readers and wish bodily harm on the author for not conforming to FANON, the works.

Gojo was MIA for almost 3 years which made fanon takeover the fandom, when he came back the author was accused of mischaracterization and bad writing because he didn't match 3 years of fanon. Reiterating, I mean fanon not headcanon, the headcanons here are almost all fanon based too and you will get nasty anons if you say you dislike FANON or praise CANON but I believe in people's right to headcanon.

My relationship with this: I've been a fan since 2019, this character of Gojo resonated with me like no one did in my 20+ years in fandom, he is my specialest blorbo, his relationship with his best friend has moved me etc. I'm autistic and this is my special interest as well. Needless to say depression has hit me like a freight train.

MY problem: My friend of 7 years who's currently deeply into yuri and danmei, who shared many fandoms with me, has been through the thick and thins with me, has decided to make me an enemy. When the chapter came out he chatted with me sent his condolences. Then he in his own social medias started talking about how he knew it was going to be a bad series, how he's glad he quit after struggling through 50 chapters, made all the jokes in the world about this death, discussed every little thing he hated and mocked this with his other weeb friends who are like the people I mentioned in the Problem section, validated all their complaints based on their reading of the FANON. He has had many discussions with me about this manga and very rarely did he express any of this negativity.

My assholery: I got frustrated, it was like he wanted me to see how much he could hurt me. I messaged him saying, "Hey what are you saying here, that's not how this character is written. The chapter is bad but this criticism is baseless and in bad faith" He laughed it off, "It's not that deep, this is fiction." I argued that's a shallow thing to say, he said it should have been like FANON since that makes more sense. I said that's conventional writing I thought we wanted different things than the same old nice characters in found family and such.

Then I said something about his favorites and hypocrisy, he said he's not so into it that he couldn't take criticism. I said that was a lie he's always writing essays about those characters. I also said criticize it for the right reasons damn it. He kept denying his own love for his fave so he could keep criticizing mine, because he at least had the sense to not fall for a shounen series. I asked if he was enjoying hurting me. He said are you for real, get a grip and stop justifying your behavior for fiction, they won't giving you cookies for defending them, if you can't bear to see negativity then feel free to mute or block. I snapped and said this is why no one likes casual fans, you can't keep your mouth shut about things you don't know. Have fun with being a two faced friend to everyone. Then I blocked him everywhere.

Some of my friends said I should have muted him long ago, I said this was inevitable if he was just going to validate everyone in vicinity, he had to pick a side. Others said I was right to tell him off. I regret some of the comments I made now.

AITA for the way I handled it? He is right, I could have muted him, I could have not spent my time doomscrolling and seeing all the bad takes he agreed with. I could have waited it out and not dropped an old friend over fiction. I could have done many things.

Please don't comment about touching grass, that's the least helpful thing anyone can say on blorbo the website. It's not a real advice we all know that. Therapy is also there for the depression and it will take years for me to get over the death, you don't need to remind me.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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whinlatter · 7 months

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author's note | chapter 9: wintering ❄️

thank you so much for reading chapter 9 of beasts. in this chapter, ginny goes home for christmas, back into the fold of the family that anchored the anti-voldemort movement now grieving the loss of a brother and a son - and finds it's tougher to keep secrets from one harry james potter than she might otherwise have thought. this was a tough chapter to write, and one i cared a lot about trying to get right. so - let's have a chat about it (and a little sneak peek of chapter 10)...

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut ✨

writing notes and headcanons:

writing: this is the first chapter where i’ve strayed from the chapter plan and shunted scenes to a future chapter. i ummed and ahhed about it, then remembered no-one else knows what the plot is and what this chapter was supposed to be, then got a grip lol. lesson learned - if it’s hard work and it feels like you’re trying to force it, you probably are, so chill out lmao

this ended up, then, as a chapter about families. we see the blacks, the order itself, andromeda and teddy’s new little unit, little glimpse of the lovegoods - and the possibility of new families, most obviously in the case of bill and fleur’s baby on the way. at the core of this chapter, though, are the weasleys, this openly political family of freedom fighters, first family of the resistance, and a family thoroughly scarred by war. i’ve talked a bit about this elsewhere, but i have always been so struck that the weasleys enter the narrative as add-ons to ron, harry’s mate, but over the series increasingly become the core of the entire anti-voldemort movement, with a history of resistance and also of grief and sacrifice (fabian and gideon). so this chapter spends some time with each member of the family, a little panorama of the weasleys eight months on from the battle to see how they’re all coping (or not). it was really really important to me that each family member’s grief and emotional state got a moment in this chapter. partly this is because i think that writing character-centric fiction shouldn’t neglect attending to the broader emotional context of the ensemble around a character, but also because each family member is quietly showing ginny the different ways they’re all responding to fred’s death in ways that might get her thinking about who she feels most similar to and who her family needs her to be. that bill is the only family member who answers ginny’s wish that her family would talk about fred more and stop avoiding saying his name was deliberate. with his parents struggling so much, bill is clearly stepping up as the person to look after his family. he’s aware of his own emotional responses, he’s discussing his own grief, but he’s also looking to the future, making plans for it and trying to improve the world he’ll spend it in, even though he knows it’ll be bittersweet. it was important for me to have ginny to have that behaviour modelled to her from someone she singularly admires.

space: as the plot of ginny looking back and processing a childhood at war progresses, i wanted to draw together and quietly contrast two spaces, grimmauld place and the burrow. these are the two headquarters of the order of the phoenix, two family homes, two sites of familial rupture - and, now, two places equally haunted by the ghosts of people who once lived there and who are now gone. writing this chapter i did a lot of imagining the communal spaces in both residences kind of as a set for a play with ensemble characters walking on and off stage at whim, which actually made the whole thing much easier when i was freaking out about having too big a cast for one chapter lol.

harry and ginny: see here!

molly weasley: my real soapbox issue for this chapter is that molly weasley’s grief really, really matters. i know molly is rarely anyone’s blorbo. she’s increasingly hated in certain corners of the fandom (check the most kudos-ed fic tagged under molly & ginny lol) and even among those people who like molly, lots of postwar fics focussing on different characters’ pics have her just sort of return to normal, get back to fussing about the house and the kids’ relationships and careers in her mumsy way. i do get this: it’s hard to want to give a lot of time in a fic to a (usually) tertiary character’s grief rather than the protagonist’s, especially when everyone is grieving, and molly is an often convenient source of either amusement, nuisance or even antagonism in hinny fics (many of my own favourites!) for her (seemingly) conservative views on sexuality and her busybody behaviour. but i’ve never subscribed to this in my own headcanon as a canon coherent choice, simply because canon is very clear that molly weasley’s worst nightmare is the death of one of her children, and that nightmare happens. (in fact, it’s even worse than she imagines in the boggart, because even in her worst nightmares she didn’t imagine one of the twins dying and not the other.) while i absolutely do not want to relate this fictional loss to the real life experiences of friends and family who have known terrible loss, it was important to me to try and write an alternative version of molly that centred her grief in a way that felt plausible and true, and acknowledged that the loss she and arthur have endured is one that would change them enormously.. truthfully, i don’t think either character would ever really be ok again (which why grief is so hard to work with narratively - it offers no neat conclusions or easily legible arcs of healing).over the past few months, ginny has been worrying about a very teenage set of worries re molly, stressing about her mother’s response to her losing the captaincy and poor school performance, thinking she might get a howler, gearing up for a fight over whether harry can sleep in her bed - only to get home to find her mum has fallen apart. narratively, i wanted ginny to see her mum like this, and to finally start to understand why her mum was so insistent on her being a child and having a childhood and keep her away from the war that ginny was so desperate to fight in.

the other point here, and i do feel strongly about this, is that for a fandom very interested in how families, loss and trauma during wars shapes characters (marauders fics are some of the richest best explorations of these themes), i worry we don’t care nearly enough about what molly weasley goes through, and about how women respond to their grief in complicated and nuanced ways. as @saintsenara has pointed out, the lack of attention paid to molly weasley’s backstory and grief over her brothers, and especially her grief after fred’s death, smacks of misogyny. perhaps molly’s frumpy mumsy unchic domesticity fretting about her children’s grades makes her not a cool enough character to care about her pain: perhaps it’s that she beefs sirius, everyone’s traumatised fave (and a character i adore). but i do really care in this fic about offering a rendering of molly that shows a possible way she would respond to fred's death, now seeing in her children the grief she has lived with already for so long, no longer able to return to the person she was before. i think molly weasley is a person who understands how their awful world works and tries to encourage her children into a path that will provide for them with material security and offer chances to do meaningful work towards reform. and while you can disagree with that as advice to her children, i don't think that worldview invalidates her right to thorough, compassionate treatments in fics and analysis as a character who is so very loved and special to harry. molly weasley is the only person who demands these children have a childhood and we should not forget it!

andromeda: ahhh man. ok this chapter i learnt people writing andromeda are really strong soldiers because i tried like 30 different characterisations until i found one that didn’t make me want to gouge my own eyes out. she couldn’t be too warm, because she’s a) a black and b) canonically wary of strangers and quick to be offended/insulted (ted’s the gentle one of the two of them). she does have to have a certain domesticity to her because tonks mentions her knack for household charms, but couldn’t be overly mumsy, in contrast to molly, because tonks clearly was drawn to molly’s mothering instincts (early HBP kitchen scene) in ways that suggest andromeda’s were less obvious. i wanted her to be a proud person, someone polite but wary, self conscious (and self critical) of her own particularities and mistakes as a parent, who has a working relationship with harry but not a maternal one, and who would probably be a bit suspicious of all these teenagers playing with teddy, who is now the centre of her world, lest they drop him on his head or stand on his baby toes. i imagine ginny and andromeda having a cordial but eventually slightly fractious relationship - 'girlfriend of the teenage godson to my orphaned grandson' is a weird role to play in a person’s life, after all. i can see ginny reminding andromeda of the daughter she lost, and it was fun to draw that out a bit here (andromeda immediately kibboshing the broomstick idea as a case in point).

relatedly sirius: finally getting to begin using some of my sirius scenes now we’re at grimmauld place 😈 i’m really excited about the plot to draw in the memory of sirius in this fic, and so it seemed right to begin bringing him in in a chapter about families, generations (mothers!) and what living with trauma and grief after war can do to a person. we see him finally arrive in person in a flashback to the day the weasleys arrived in his house, freshly reconfined to grimmauld and sullen because of it, but also being perceived by ginny and the weasleys as someone with great presence. he becomes the subject of a great deal of interest and hero worship by the twins and ginny, with only ron (following hermione) noting that sirius black does not seem to be a well man. sometimes in fics the (understandable) impulse to focus on sirius’ good godfather traits can be taken a bit too far with authors overstating how warm/inviting/interested sirius would be in the parade of weasleys who move in with him at a very low moment for him personally. i liked having sirius being sort of shrug about their arrival, having only the briefest moment with ginny where a commonality between them (the betrayal of a brother) is identified but saying nothing about it. sirius black is in no place to reassure someone about sibling estrangement. ginny, in her approach to sirius, tries to position herself in opposition to her mother, apologising for her with an eye roll kind of vibe, and raging at her for excluding her from the order meeting when no one else was. she also expresses empathy with sirius’ plight of being confined for your own protection when you really want to fight and have your revenge (👀). meanwhile, in the present, harry and ginny wake up in sirius’ childhood bed, spend the day inside grimmauld watched on by paps, and the ginny goes back to her own family home, where she throws herself into christmas planning and prepping to try and raise spirits and distract from all of the shit going on, à la sirius in ootp. (i’ll finish that sirius and ginny meta before the next chapter i swear).

dolohov: me, a few months ago, realising that the man killed fabian and gideon prewett also killed remus

percy: so far in beasts, percy has come up only in passing - unfavourable press coverage, and on the board in graves’ classroom, part of the machine that sent muggleborns to azkaban and some, in all probability, to their deaths. lots of brilliant brilliant fics (some rec’d below) explore percy plausibly as a resistance agent working within the ministry, but i’m always a bit suspicious of this reading, given his line in the room of req (‘it’s been coming on for a while, but I had to find a way out and it’s not so easy at the Ministry, they’re imprisoning traitors all the time’ - this doesn’t sound to me like a road to damascus moment the second scrimgeour died, does it? when exactly did you realise you'd fucked up perce? like babe you’re the assistant to the minister - how many people did you help imprison, given the muggleborn registration commission was up and thriving within a month of the ministry takeover?) i think, whatever the extent of percy’s resistance (and there will be more on this!), it’s clear that ginny, of all of the siblings, would probably be the least likely to forgive percy. it’s not just that the decisions he makes are so far from her own, or that his treatment of her parents was egregious, it’s also her loyalty and ferocious protectiveness of harry, who percy royally fucks over at every possible turn with little remorse. (he doesn’t engage with or apologise to harry in the room of requirement!) ginny wasn’t there with percy when fred died like ron was, an experience that i think would help ron decide life’s too short and make a cordial peace with percy. i think ginny would want percy to feel a hell of a lot of shame before ever warming up to him again. i like percy as a character, i think his arc is so good, but i also find satisfaction putting him in the corner at the weasley christmas with old xeno, stood with the other guy who should have done the brave thing and didn’t. just because your family tease you doesn’t mean you should commit war crimes!

teddy: me writing this chapter like

the order: the interaction i have in this chapter between lee and ginny, over whether the order beat voldemort, is my attempt to get something i have been thinking a lot about without much resolution, which is (partly) what does the order actually do, but also how do the order think about the end of the war when it turns out they kind of were peripheral to the effort of winning it? obviously they did some things, and order members obviously fought in the battle, but the order actually were instrumentalised by dumbledore into a bigger plot that involved harry that he kept them in the dark about. i think it would be very weird for the order in the aftermath of war to think about what their efforts really meant when their losses are huge and their accomplishments minimal, other than helping keep harry alive at times - and weirder still for ginny, who was never old enough to join and was kept at arm’s length from the soldiers’ table only to find out those soldiers didn’t really matter anyway. no profound takes just curiosity on my part, but very interested if anyone has any takes on this!

ron and hermione: very sorry to the lovely anon who just asked about hermione — saying nothing for now but what do you think’s going on there! weird innit. a real mystery. if only someone would tell us

harry’s kitchenware collection: what’s up with that hmmmmmm

songs on the playlist for this chapter:

i listened to a lot of choral music for this chapter - ofc christian symbolism is all over the series (can't move for it), so was leaning into that a bit (lol), and the little church by the graveyard in godric's hollow with the muggles inside on christmas eve has always struck me as a very beautiful and sad image, so i was trying to channel those vibes too a bit in this chapter (ginny and bill listening to the carols in the village in the garden, and the view from molly and arthur's window of the ottery st catchpole church spire). my favourite is the holst arrangement for lullay, mine liking, a fifteenth century carol originally in middle english, which has these very tender lyrics that are about the infant christ but also work painfully well for molly's grief: lullay, mine liking, my dear son, my sweeting.

lullay my liking (arr. holst) by the godley singers | hey, ma by bon iver | gregorian chant for the dead by aurora surgit and alessio randon | 7 o'clock news/silent night by simon & garfunkel | i don't like my mind by mitski | this is me trying - the long pond studio version by taylor swift | should have known better by sufjan stevens (i mean - my brother had a daughter/the beauty that she brings - illumination. perfect no?) | hope by james newton howard (i have a lot of songs from the soundtrack to terence malick's incredibly beautiful film a hidden life on this playlist, because that film remains a real touchstone for the visuals i'm imagining for a lot of this fic but also a lot of the vibes of family and resistance)

reading list:

on percy (loads here):

dawn is coming, open your eyes by dialux (an all time fave) The Last Something That Meant Anything by Anonymous (TW for sexual assault) 'Hope' is a Thing With Feathers by PeachyKeener

on molly (and molly and ginny):

Every Mother is a Grave by @witchofimber Mother, any distance greater than a single span by Simon Armitage (did anyone else read this for gcse english lit and still find themselves thinking about it a dozen years later?

on sirius and molly:

'He slammed the door in her face' by @ashesandhackles Meta: An alternative read on Sirius and Molly's argument also by @ashesandhackles

on andromeda:

turncoat: in defense of andromeda tonks née black by dirgewithoutmusic

on teddy and the potter family:

little accomplishments by irnan

ok technically i am cheating with this sneak peek because technically i shared a bit of this scene a bazillion years ago/way back in january, a month or so before i started putting the fic out (over here), so here's... a bit more of it hehe:

‘Did it hurt?’ she asks. ‘Becoming an Animagus?’ His laugh is a bark. ‘Unbelievably.’ ‘It must have been worth it, though.’ ‘It’s hard to know what things are worth.’ Definitely in one of those moods.

#beasts #author's note #look i'm sorry it was so sad #and also sorry for the soapbox on molly weasley halfway through this author's note lol #i love to have My Say as you know!#authors note #AN #ginny weasley #weasley family #molly weasley

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blmpff · 5 months

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Blorbos From BL That Will Make Me Protect Them At EVERY FUCKING COST

tagged by @elizabethsebestianhedgehog thank you! <3

when I'm tagged in "make a list/what/who's your fav X, I blank out and have never enjoyed anything ever" etc etc with that out of the way! off the top of my head:

Let me divide it into 2 categories actually: characters and actors

Characters:

To My Star 1&1: Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon

Yes s2 took us by surprise with the tone change, but it worked as and so well. They make me eat drywall and climb ceilings etc etc. TMS 1&2 is my favorite bl out of all countries ever, do with that information what you will. that jacket throw was felt by everyone in the village trust me i was there

The Warp Effect: Army and Joe

T H EM! com👏mu👏ni👏ca👏tion👏 Gmmtv fucked up FlukeThor but ArmyJoe stay iconic. this gif by @tenprems lives in my eyeballs rent free

Laws of Attraction: Cha(r)n and Tin(n) and GALAXIA and Rose and Maya

... do I even need to say anything? all iconing in their own way

Under The Skin: Shen Yi and Du Cheng

Okay, it's a cbromance BUT IT COUNTS because I said so. The enemies to lovers is THERE, the devotion, the admiration, the lust, the height difference. They went from "get out, you killed him" to "we can't let snipers shoot, my friend is in there". S2 when I am vibrating out of my skin. Fanfic writers I owe you my life.

Choco Milk Shake: Uncle and Milk

just s2 when.

Only Friends: Boston and Nick

Look, out of all that was going on I was invested in them the most, and the editing failed them. I was open about not expecting happy endings for any pairing (though we all knew that the branded pairs would get them), but I still wanted it to make sense. Theirs didn't for me. I wish we got the OF they wanted to make: with 6 forever-side-characters actors. im still here

2. Actor pairings I'd die to see in something better than they have been in so far (aka I like their chemistry but the script was lacking):

Aou and Boom (We Are ain't it either, sorry)

Earth and Bank (Destiny Seeker was fine, and we do not speak of Marry Go Round. let my man death grip his mans neck to all his and mine content)

ETA: Toru and First (their chemistry in Y Destiny was through the fucking roof, War of Y was a mess (derogatory). And now they're not even a thing anymore)

Okay woah that's too long already lol

Tagging everyone who want to share their blorbos! <3

#gifmakers are the backbone of fandom #thank you for all your hard work #<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 #tagged post #simp posting #blmpff

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spookyboywhump · 1 year

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Apologies to my beloved blorbo for this one. I swear I love Jet I really do-

CW: Pet whump, mouth whump, tooth whump, this one is. More bloody than the last one.

***

He regretted the action as soon as he’d done it. She kept grabbing his face, roughly grabbing his jaw, digging her nails into his skin, he couldn’t take it any longer. He wasn’t even thinking when she reached for him again, and he snapped- literally, snapping and biting her hand.

She gasped, swearing and yanking her hand away, and he didn’t fight her, in fact he stared at her in horror, his heart sank as he realized what he had done. He knew he’d be punished for this, and when he saw the smallest drop of blood well up from where his teeth had broken her skin, he knew he’d be punished for it harshly.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted out immediately. “I’m sorry ma’am, I’m sorry, please- please forgive me, I’m sorry!” He begged, his heart pounding so hard his chest hurt. “I didn’t mean to, that- that was stupid, I don’t know why I did that, I-I was scared, I’m sorry.”

“Shut up!” She snapped at him, slapping him across the face. It stung, but he was almost relieved, he was used to being slapped around, he could handle that. “I don’t want to hear it! You will never do that again, do you understand me?” She said sternly, and he nodded.

“I won’t, I promise, I’ll be good, I swear!” He insisted. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just- I just-“

“That’s enough.” She ordered him, and he shut his mouth, staring at the floor as he was too scared to even look at her directly. “You will be good, I’m only going to teach you this lesson once.” She told him, turning away from him. He already knew to expect punishment, he just didn’t know what to expect, and that made it even more terrifying. When he looked down, he realized his hands were shaking, he clenched his fists to try and ignore that, to try and hide it from her. He really felt stupid for it now, for thinking he could actually defend himself. He already knew he was stuck here, what good was it trying to fight back? She’d already made that clear, he wasn’t going anywhere unless she said so.

“Look at me, mutt.” She ordered, and he forced himself to look up. It seemed he wasn’t quick enough, as she roughly grabbed his jaw again, digging her fingers into his face until it hurt. “Open your mouth.” She said, he did as he was told, but it wasn’t until he’d done so that he saw the pliers she was holding in her other hand. His blood ran cold, his eyes widened and he instinctively tried to pull back but she just dug her nails into his skin. “Stay still, or I’ll strap you down and remove all your fucking teeth one by one.” He froze, he didn’t know if she meant it and he didn’t want to find out.

He would’ve begged her not to do this, to punish him any other way, but that already hadn’t gotten him anywhere, it seemed to only make her angrier. As she actually brought the pliers to his open mouth, he whimpered pathetically, scared half to death but even more scared to move and find out what she would do to him for it. He tried to blink away the tears welling up in his eyes, but he was unsuccessful, and he didn’t even have it in himself to care how pitiful he looked right now. The metal gripped one of his canine teeth, and he suddenly found it even harder to keep himself from crying, the anticipation almost felt like it was worse than the pain that was to come. That was, until she finally yanked on his tooth.

He didn’t know if he had bad teeth, or if she’d done this before to the point she could execute it expertly. Either way, his tooth was ripped from his mouth and he howled in pain as she briefly let go of his face. He immediately brought his hands up to cover his mouth, struggling to breathe through his nose. He couldn’t calm himself down, getting more and more panicked, especially when he pulled his hands away and saw the mess left behind. She discarded his tooth on the floor like it was nothing, looking down on him like he was just an annoyance to her, that cruel, uncaring look she gave him just upset him more.

“I-I’m suh-sorry…” He whined, desperate for any mercy she’d be willing to give, but he knew it was unlikely.

“Quiet. Open your mouth, there’s still one more.” She demanded, and he let out a broken sob, unable to hold it in as his body was wracked with fear. Still, he did as he was told, he squeezed his eyes shut, opened his mouth, and waited for the inevitable as she grabbed his face once again. His jaw ached, his mouth was filled with the metallic taste of his own blood, and as he felt the grip on his other tooth, he found he was silently praying she’d change her mind, that she’d decide that one was enough. He’d never prayed before, not that he could remember, but as she yanked on his tooth he was quickly made aware that nobody was listening, and nothing could help him. This one didn’t come out on the first try, he cried out in pain, clenching his fists so tightly his nails dug into the palms of his hands, but with the second harsh tug, she ripped that tooth free as well, leaving him sobbing hysterically on the floor, hands cupped over his mouth to try and muffle his cries.

She looked at him disdainfully, wiping her hand on the long black skirt she wore, disgusted by the mix of blood and saliva that had run down his chin when she still held him in place. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her, not when she was still so angry with him, and not when he’d risk seeing his own bloodied teeth on the floor next to him. He suddenly felt nauseous, he’d never been particularly squeamish when it came to blood but this was getting to be too much for him.

“You’re fucking pathetic.” She sneered at him, her words like another slap to the face after what she’d already done to him. “You act so tough yet you can’t even handle that? I think you’ll want to be careful from now on, I don’t want to have to do that again but if you give me a reason to then I absolutely will.” She warned him, but it was a lesson he didn’t need to learn twice, he’d never bite her again, he wouldn’t even think about it. He pulled his hands from his face, sniffling as he wiped them on his pants, disgusted with himself as he could only imagine what a mess he was.

“Y-yes ma’am…” He murmured, struggling to speak through the pain in his mouth. “I-I’ll be good…” He told her, and he hoped so badly she believed him, hoped she would trust him to be good and behave from now on.

He hoped he’d never have to experience something that horrible ever again.

#whump #my writing #my oc’s #Jet #Anastasia #mouth whump #teeth whump #pet whump #miss Hearst thinks she’s a dentist ig #don’t worry about him too much #he’s allowed to get new teeth later

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alex-rambles · 1 year

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I know you are down on your bill phase and your anons even more but-

But how about taking a break and writing, for example, a Mello (from death note ofc) x a hacker reader? Sounds fancy, right?

MIHAEL MY BELOVED

Also thank you for this I needed to write for another fandom because my grip on my other blorbos' personalities are slipping because I never write them 😭

-OKAY, SO

-He really likes this and he may have originally (illegally) hired you for Kira-related reasons?

-Or just to say that he has someone who can get into the SPK's systems whatever

-I think he'd be really bad with code???

-He gets impatient and frustrated

-Luckily you don't

-He begrudgingly begins to look up to you (would never admit this)

-The admiration turns into something else, though

-Hopefully you develop feelings too, because he quite honestly is too immature and ego-driven to be able to make the first move

-He would try a few times, but could never spit it out. It would hurt his pride

-But if you confess first he will secretly be very happy, but act normal and take yet another bite of his infinite chocolate

-"Alright, Y/N. Anyways, you've gotta tell me what you've gathered off of the SPK-"

-Your skills are put to (arguably) good use

-Please teach him to work with code and hacking stuff

-It'd be great quality time

#death note x reader #mihael keehl x reader #mello x reader #dn x reader #alex writes

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 10 months

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I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

#Thank you for this!!! Reading this is like living on planet Earth for once like yess!!! You get it!!#neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyadhd #adhd #autism #audhd #character fixations #hyperfixations #cringe culture

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justanintrovertedartist · 2 years

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i really be spiraling until i just… look at my interests. bad day??? scroll through the submas tag, enjoy some blorbos. rotate the silly antics of an oc in ur brain. concern your friends by listening to color sorter noises on youtube because “crunchy noise.” my serotonin may be fleeting but luckily the antics of two silly train guys are able to put my brain back on track quicker than most other things

#submas #turned into a bee ramble session whoops #but fr #i was starting to overthink and due to me dealing with all my problems with distractions-#i got on here and decided to update myself on the submas tag #good soup #love seeing the blorbos #these train guys have my brain in a death grip #i hope to eventually start dropping blurbs of self insert shenanigans #but first mental health and school #n e waze :) ily <3

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gffa · 1 year

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On page 419 of Death’s End and I am going to GNAW ON THE WALLS PRETTY SOON because this series has enthralled me. I’m not sure what I expected when I picked up the book and honestly I’m not sure knowing ahead of time would have made much difference--I’m reading reviews for the early books, trying to gather my thoughts together, because they feel like they’re pinging off in a dozen different directions at once, and thinking about how I probably would have felt like this was overhyped, either before I read it or once I’d read it. Because what really gets me about this series is the absolutely relentless pacing of it and how it feels to experience that. From the outset, if you’d explained the structure of the story to me, as I’ve wanted to several times when talking about the book, because I feel I should give an accurate view of what it’s like, I think I would have been less than enthused. It’s incredibly brisk, the characters aren’t ones that really lend themselves towards fandom-type Blorbos (though, I do love several of them), and it’s about weaving together culture, science, and the fundamental questions about what drives sentient people. With each scene, the story keeps moving forward, there’s always a new puzzle to tease out, a new question about what motivates an alien race that we may or may not think similarly to, that humanity is stepping onto a galactic playing field that’s been going on for longer than they know, and the nature of the universe. I had no idea what to expect when I read the premise of the books, other than that it was reasonably hard scifi, which it is, but at a more fundamental level, I think it’s mostly about what people do when they discover new things and what that means in regards to your relationships with other peoples. The way the story is written, almost like a series of puzzles to solve, then a bombshell is dropped, and you have a new series of puzzles to figure out, is an absolute rush to read, it’s addictive and more than one night I stayed up just to read one more chapter, because the reveal moments work so damn well each time. The answers the story gives, even the way it leads to more questions, satisfied me every single time. Especially because the answers weren’t always nice ones, so I never knew whether the characters would figure their way out of this one or if they would be trapped in a corner and have to face a terrible cost. This is very much a story about humans facing what seems like an impossible mountain to climb and the messy, shell-shocked feeling of how all of that plays out. Is this a perfect series? No, I can see why some people warned me about parts of it, especially that there are some moments of side-eye-worthy sexism, but what the story delivers on is fantastic and it’s made me genuinely excited to read more genre stories again, because I fell in love with that sense of exploration, of discovery of what’s around the next corner that’s wildly imaginitive, that a story can grip me in the thrall of desperately wanting to know where all of this is going.

#lumi.txt #the three body problem #remembrance of earth's past

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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unknown makes me sit on his lap and suddenly i have the unstoppable urge to call him my knownie. my babygirl. my scrunkly. my blorbo. like whats he gonna do. kiss me? lol

Is it your death wish? Realistically, he uses this as a way to make you feel vulnerable and susceptible to his mercy. He could do a lot if the thought came to mind, but he never does. So, are you really going to test him when you know that he could change the game so readily if you pushed too hard?

That is to say, can you handle his breath rolling against your throat as he grips your waist and holds you against him? As you realize that he could do anything he wanted to you? If you act as if you want him to be close to you, he'll scold you, mock you, and tease you. If you let a whimper out and shiver, he'll be just as amused, letting you become overwhelmed with "what-if" as he does nothing at all but leave you there.

In a silly haha funny way that deviates from canon, well, he's going to shut you up with a kiss, sure.

#ask #anon #mod kait #unknown #saeran choi #choi saeran

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suntraitor · 8 months

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You got me, curious about the inscryption x hadestown au, explode your ramblings and go insane sharing your thoughts GO GO GO

AWESOME OK OK OK. disclaimer like i saaid in the notes about that post idk if its even an interesting au or compelling story, we made it sleep deprived while someone was joking around with our p03 and leshy. its a dumb silly au and it makes no sense but its MY cringe baby 😤😤😤 so. its not a shipping au despite hadestown being . yk. but theere is some shipping for plot reasons.

Hades - Leshy (I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS. you can tell i put a lot of thought into his and P03's relationhip in this au) Persephone - P03 (the fucking themes. the fucking THEMES.) Hermes - Grimora / Magnificus, haven't decided yet, leaning more towards grimora but i really want all 4 scrybes included :[ Orpheus - Luke (i hate that tuber boy sometimes but god damn it he will carry my story :salute emoji:) Eurydice - Kaycee. duh. (note: kaycee and luke r not shipped together in this au, they just exist to cary the plot) the fates - one of the scrybes cohorts because i think itd be funny. probably leshy's just bc of the hades thing but i think it could work with another's.

ive rewritten this post like 8 times because i just ramble endlessly about my little cringe baby au (none of my aus are good its all serotonin factory here boss).

SO PLOTLINE. i only have a feew songs in my head but the jist i it takes place after the old_data situation and p03 is away from leshy for the spring and summer n thats where luke initially learns about kaycee and starts researching her death and junk. major plot points i have is luke playing against leshy and reluctantly being told more information about her death, and its revealed he has her death card. other plot points: p03 staying with leshy over the other half of the year and their Strained Marriage (tm).

this lyric is so them. they hate each other theyre deeply in love their marriage is failing but they stay together despite it all nd in the end they try again. i know i kissed you once before but i didnt do it right can i try again and again and again /lyric does tht explain it. theres so many themes

anyway. i dont have a lot of the plot fully fleshed out bc tbh it doesnt make sense and mking it work with both stories is taking me a minute. but i love all the dumb little plot points i have made.

ithe song how long is their dynamic FR FR FR FR.

im trying to figure out how to encorperate orpheus going to the underworld nd trying to leave with eurydice into the au but like i might need to tweek the plot a bit bc its alreaady not 1.1 wwith hadestown story but still. the reasaon p03 and leshy are more fleshed out is bc this whole au started with me comparing our leshy and p03 to hades and persephone X] im just a humble kaycee fictive i lov my blorbos my oingy boingys.... :] the characters ever. but like i gen dont like tht luke and kaycee r the only decent options for orpheus nd eurydice bc i dont want to make them romantic!!!!! i hate the tuber guy but also their dynamic could be so silly. my aromantic ass making the iconic greek myth couple PLATONIC FRIENDS. happy ending the boy doesnt get the girl X]

more lyrics with THEMES.

like do u get my image here. grips ur shoulders. do you see them.

i cant screenshot all the lyrics but GOD. any way the wind blows is kaycees song FR FR FR.... her main character moment. right b4 she dies X]

some feverish shouting from me at like 5am last night

the au makes no sense but tht is ok... its my cringe bby and it makes me happy. thank u anon for asking me about it i loved being able to explode ill rb this with more info later

#ask #inscryption #hadestown #kc.txt #kasey.txt #feral.txt #leshy.txt #so many bitches in co-front #its mostly a bunch of non cohesive plot lines in my head.#tjhis au makes no sense but i like it it makes me happy :>#what is p03 and leshys ship name again bc i technically gotta tag it #p0laroid #im sorry beloved mutuals im cringe #it came with being a kaycee fictive alas #im like so scared im gonna get called cringe by my friends but that is ok ill just go dormant if that happens /j /j /j im having FUN #call me cringe and im sicing my dogs on you

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