#my last midterm is in 2 hours and im so scared | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atlabeth · 3 years

Text

transferred part twelve - atla smau

masterlist | part eleven | part thirteen

this takes place about 2 weeks after the last chapter

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well.

wc: 3.6k

a/n: i’ve been writing bits and pieces of this since the start of this series so. enjoy. that’s all im gonna say lmao

warning(s): cursing, mentions of familial death, mentions of abuse, some angst but also some fluff. this is kind of a heavy chapter because both zuko and y/n talk about their past, but there is fluff at the end.

~~~~~~~~

You pushed your hair out of your face and tried to blink the sleep out of your eyes, catching a glimpse of the time on the corner of your laptop.

3:23 AM.

You should’ve been asleep a long time ago, but all of your professors had decided to schedule tests in the same week so it was one of many, many late nights you had had lately. You thought that they would cool down because midterms were coming up, but BSSU professors kept proving you wrong. Late nights like these were becoming a regular occasion, and right now you just needed a break.

The tea dates with Zuko were the only things keeping you sane. But could you even call them dates?

It was the two of you, together, sitting and talking over tea for hours, and they were happening multiple times a week. In fact, you and him had gotten tea together exactly 9 times in the past two weeks — and that wasn’t even counting all the talking during your shared shifts.

Katara, Suki, and Toph told you that they were dates, you wanted them to be dates, but there was a part of you that was so incredibly scared that you were wrong — that moving past that bridge would ruin the friendship that you cherished so much with Zuko — that you kept things solely platonic. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him every time he gave you that smile.

But thinking about the complicated relationship you had found yourself entangled in with Zuko wasn’t a break, no matter how many times you had pondered over it before falling asleep in the wee hours of the night.

You closed your laptop and grabbed your jacket that had been carelessly tossed on a stool at the kitchen island, making sure to sneak out of the apartment as quietly as you could. You opted to work in the living room, choosing to camp out on the sofa whenever you had to stay up as late as this, just so you wouldn’t wake up Sokka. Your brother had no idea how much you did for him.

The cool breeze hitting your face and the shining stars in the sky were a welcome change of scenery from the lifelessness that was your apartment at night and your computer screen that you were sure was going to cause you eye issues later in life with how bright it was.

You took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling the crisp night air, and started to walk. You were sure you looked like a mess. You were wearing some flannel pajama pants, a BSSU tank top, tennis shoes, and Zuko’s jacket. He had never asked for it back after that night at the party, and when you had showed up to one of your hangouts wearing it, he told you that you could keep it — “it looks better on you anyways” — so you did.

There was something calming about the atmosphere. You knew that a lot of women were anxious about going out at night, especially alone, but that was why you had taken self defense classes. Being friends with Suki was a self defense class in its own, and it was very much appreciated. You allowed yourself to get lost in your thoughts, trying to give yourself the break that you deserved, when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.

“You know, it’s not safe to be out alone at this hour.”

You let out a scream at the unexpected voice and whirled around, your fists already up to defend yourself. When you saw who it was, you laughed, completely shocked, and hit your hands against your legs, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart.

“Holy shit, Zuko, you can’t just sneak up on someone like that!” you wheezed. You had no doubt that he only had good intentions, but for a second you thought someone was going to try and kill you. You had to admit, the scare was worth it to see the mix of horror and embarrassment on Zuko’s face.

“I’m so sorry!” His hands were held up placatingly in front of him and he let out a nervous laugh as well, but it did nothing to cover up the wide eyes he stared at you with. “I am so sorry, I didn’t even think about that. I- I was just up studying too, and I heard you leaving so I thought you could use some company- I swear, I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything!”

You shook your head but couldn’t stop the smile on your lips, gesturing for him to come closer while you caught your breath. “It’s fine. Come on, walk with me.”

He fell into step beside you and the two of you walked in silence for a while, the only disruptions being the occasional car that drove by. It was eerily quiet, but with Zuko, it was nice.

“So-”

Both of you laughed when you each interrupted the other, and when you motioned for Zuko to go first he shook his head. You paused for a moment, the question on the tip of your tongue, before you decided to take the plunge.

“I’ve been wondering since I got here; how did you end up as friends with—” You gestured around with your hands. “—this whole crew? It’s kind of a weird combination of people, so I guess I just wanna know how you became a part of it.”

Zuko sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing your eyes to widen a little bit as a stammered apology came out. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to-” He gave you a tight smile and shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. You should know about my life if— if we’re going to keep living together.” He knew the moment he met you, the moment he agreed to let you live with all of them, that he would have to explain his past to you. Hell, your siblings might have already told you some of it — he could only hope you’d still want to be his friend after he was done.

“”I.. I wasn’t the best person in the past. I was a horrible person actually, and I consider myself extremely lucky that I was given so many chances to change. I hurt people. Bullied people. Got into fights just because I could. I was just- horrible is the only way to describe it. But your siblings, Toph, Aang? They were all people that decided to give me one of those chances, and they’re a huge reason that I am who I am today.” Zuko spoke slowly, and you could tell that this was something he didn’t open up to many people about. You smiled softly at him and nodded, letting him know that he could go on.

“I don’t know how much you know about my father, but he’s the CEO of our family company. He’s been this huge presence in the business world for as long as I can remember, and he’s responsible for all the wealth and fame that our family has today. And when I was younger, I idolized him. I thought he was the greatest man in the world, that he could do no wrong, and I just followed him blindly. He was the most important person in my life, but.. I was nothing to him.”

“He didn’t care about his friends, or- or his family, he only cared about power. My mother left when I was young, we haven’t heard a word from her since, and- and I don’t even know if he cared. My father would do whatever it took to become as powerful as he could, and that meant—” Zuko’s voice was getting louder and he cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. There was a certain hollowness behind his eyes, and it tore you to pieces. “That meant hurting anyone that went against him. Including his children.”

“I have a sister, Azula. She’s a prodigy in every sense of the word, and my father used it, used her. She was clearly his favorite, and it drove me insane. I mean, I did everything for his approval, but he only cared about Azula. We had a good relationship when we were younger, but my father molded her into the kind of person he wanted her to be, and— and I was jealous of her. He used that against us, purposefully staked the fire of our competition, one that I thought I could somehow win. But we had both already lost the second we started fighting against each other.”

“It took me a long time to realize that.. that he was abusing us. I mean, he gave me this scar all because I spoke out of turn, and— and I still thought that I could earn his favor, that he deserved to earn my favor! He threw me out of the house when I was thirteen, and I went to live with my uncle. It took an even longer time, but with his help, and the support of your siblings and their friends, I was able to break the cycle. I was horrible to them at first, all of them, and I hated my father for what he did, but it was probably the thing that saved me.” “And Azula.. leaving her will always be my biggest regret. My biggest mistake. I should’ve forced her to come with me when I was kicked out, I should’ve done something sooner, because maybe she wouldn’t have turned out the way she did.” He swallowed hard, his voice strained. “I came back for her once I was stable, and I helped her get out. I helped her get a therapist. It’s been a long process, but she’s getting better every day. But not a day goes by where I don’t think about what I could’ve done to help her more.”

You instinctively reached out for Zuko’s hand, and to your surprise, he took it without question. You gave his hand a small squeeze and led him over to a nearby bench — without realizing it, the two of you had entered a public park that was near the complex. When you sat down together, you moved so that one of your legs was crossed in front of you and the other was hanging down so you could face him.

“Zuko.. I am so, so sorry. I don’t think any amount of apologies will be able to get how I feel across, but.. you didn’t deserve to go through that. No one deserves to go through that.” You took both of his hands, thankful for the warmth they provided. “Listen to me. Are you listening to me?”

He gave a pained smile and nodded. “Yes, Y/N. I’m listening to you.”

“You are not who you were in middle school. You are not who you were in high school. Okay? Your father is a horrible man, and you wouldn’t have done any of those things if it wasn’t for him. What you did when you were younger wasn’t okay, but the fact that you have so much remorse for it today proves that you’re a good person. Zuko, you are a good person, one of the best men that I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve only known you for a few months.”

You were subconsciously rubbing calming circles into the back of his hands — hands that were still holding yours — while you talked, but it was all Zuko could think about. “I know you feel guilty about leaving your sister, but you did what you had to do to get out. You came back for her, and you’ve helped her get better. She’s grateful for it, Zuko, I know that much.”

“Everyone else has forgiven you,” you murmured, staring deep into the fire he held in his eyes. “You deserve to forgive yourself.”

The silence that passed while you gazed into each other’s eyes felt like it lasted an eternity, when really it was only about a minute. Zuko was the first to break it, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at you as his words tumbled out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you at once.”

“It’s okay, Zuko, really. I understand; sometimes you just need to talk to somebody. You don’t know how much it means to me that you trusted me with all of that. And.. if we’re still baring our souls to each other, then I guess I have some things that you should know as well.”

You bit the inside of your cheek; were you really about to tell Zuko about what happened? Most people knew that your mother was dead — killed in a drunk driving accident when you were ten — but you had never told anyone, not even your father or your siblings, about the full effect it had on you. But his eyes told you more than he ever could, and in that moment you knew it would be okay. You could trust him with something you had never trusted anyone else with.

“I’m sure you know that my mother died when I was young.” He nodded and you swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in your throat. “It was.. hard. Really hard, on all of us. It was just so unexpected that we didn’t know what to do. We didn’t really have any money to spare, so my dad had to keep working, and I had to take care of Sokka and Katara. I was only eleven, but I basically had to take over the ‘mom’ role. Our grandmother came down to take care of us so we wouldn’t just be a bunch of kids living on our own, but even with her and Katara’s help, it was still hard. Sokka and Katara had to grow up much faster than they should’ve, even though I tried to shield them as much as I could.”

“It was.. a lot. I won’t lie to you, it was a lot. Maybe too much.” A mirthless laugh hung in the air and you had to blink back the tears threatening to spring. “My mother was.. amazing. She was the only one who truly got me, you know? She was just this— this beautiful spirit in the world, and she brought light wherever she went. And when she died, it left this.. huge, gaping hole in my heart, one that I’m still trying to fill. I- I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fill it. I thought as I got older it would be easier, but i-it’s not. The three of us joke around by calling Katara mom because of how she is, and they sometimes do it to me, and I know that’s all they are, jokes, but some part of it still hurts.”

You were rambling now, spilling your soul to Zuko, going into the most mundane details that you had never told anyone. You had taken away the dam that had been holding back the waters of your emotions for so long, and now Zuko was going to drown in them. But you couldn’t stop.

“It’s the reason why I didn’t drive for so long. I didn’t want to, I was terrified of it because of what happened to my mother, but someone needed to be able to take Sokka and Katara around. And- and as I got older, and I started going to parties and people started drinking, I never did. I couldn’t, I was always the designated driver, because I couldn’t leave that in someone else’s hands. I had to be in control, because if I let someone go, then it was like I was killing my mother all over again, and it’s the reason why I always have to be the one driving—”

You paused to take a deep breath, and as you looked down at your hands, you realized they were shaking. Not just your hands, but your entire body. What the hell were you doing? You let out a tearful laugh, covering your mouth with one hand and shaking your head. “God, I am so sorry, I— I don’t know what got into me.”

Zuko’s eyes never left yours, his own glassy, and he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. Like you said, it helps to tell someone. A-and— I know how you feel, what it’s like feeling like you have to give up the world for your siblings. But you have to take care of yourself too. You’re not just what you can give to other people. You are your own person.”

He was thankful that you trusted him enough to tell you something like this about yourself, something that your own blood didn’t even know, but it also made him realize that you had always trusted him.

Your point about driving. You liked to be in control so that if something did go wrong, there wouldn’t be any thoughts of what you could’ve done. If something happened, it was because of you and only you. And on your first day of classes, and many trips since, you had let him drive. It was something so small, so insignificant to anyone, but to you it was a sign of trust.

You trusted him.

“You’re shivering.” Your voice snapped Zuko back to reality and he shrugged, the smallest smile playing on his lips.

“I wouldn’t be if someone had given me my jacket back,” he joked. You elbowed him in the chest and stood up, holding out your hand for him to take to help him up as well. Zuko took it and you ignored the butterflies that erupted, setting a steady pace as the two of you walked.

“We should get back to the apartment. It’s late, and you need to sleep,” you chided.

“You have bags the size of baseballs under your eyes. I think you need sleep just as much as I do.”

“I’m special,” you shot back with a grin.

Yeah, you are, Zuko thought.

The walk back to the apartment was shrouded in comfortable silence and intertwined hands, something that neither of you made any move to change.

~~~~~~~~

Soon enough you had gotten back to your rooms — such a small apartment meant that they were right next to each other — and as you turned on your heel to face him, a shy smile played on your lips. “Thank you. For, uh- coming after me. For listening to me.”

“Of course,” he nodded. The two of you stood in silence for a while, and then Zuko reached out his hand. Your breath caught in your throat as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and the close proximity combined with the surprisingly intimate act caused your cheeks to heat up once more. It was like you were caught in a trance.

Your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips for just a moment, and you could’ve sworn that he did the same. The air between the two of you was crackling with unseen electricity, and before you could question yourself you were leaning forward.

You felt him lean in as well as your eyes fluttered shut, and his lips ghosted over yours. Your eyes snapped open and you stared at him, your lips slightly parted in disbelief — he just kissed you. Zuko just kissed you. It was like time had stopped — and then it all came crashing down. His lips came back to yours with an intense fervor, cupping your face in his hands to get as close to you as possible.

It was bliss in the purest sense. You reciprocated immediately, tangling a hand in his dark hair, letting out a soft gasp as your back hit the wall. Despite how many times you had imagined this moment, nothing could compare to the real thing. It was passionate but gentle all the same, and the warmth that spread through your whole body was familiar — it was Zuko.

Your mind was a jumbled mess. It was split a million different ways; one part suddenly very worried about how your hair looked, one hoping that Sokka and Aang couldn’t hear you, another that didn’t care, but most of them were just screaming about how oh my god you were kissing Zuko.

You knew your whole face was flushed when you finally pulled away, and the warmth of his lips lingered as the two of you stared at each other, breathing slightly labored. You tentatively reached out your hand and softly, carefully traced your finger over a part of his scar. He flinched at the contact instinctively, but you felt him relax and even lean into your touch. It meant more than you could ever say, especially knowing what you knew now.

“You’re so beautiful,” you murmured, your touch impossibly soft against the cracked skin of his scar. “And you’re stronger than anyone knows. Than you know.”

You kissed him again, shorter and sweeter than the first but just as tender, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips against yours as he returned it. You smiled at him and pushed your door open behind you, equal parts nervous and exhilarated about what just happened. “Goodnight, Zuko,” you whispered, shining eyes never leaving his until you closed the door.

As soon as you were in your room you turned around and leaned against the door, smiling to yourself like an idiot. Your hand ghosted over your cheek, the spot where his hands had been, and you sighed dreamily. You had no idea how you were going to be able to finish studying.

This was definitely more than a small crush.

~~~~~~~~~~

perm taglist: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin

taglist: @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread @thelovelylolly @lin-biefong-is-my-life @tiffanyy-21 @sistheselenophile @theincredibledeadlyviper @bakugouswh0r3

send an ask, a dm, or reply if you want to be added to the taglist!

also i am so sorry i suck at writing kiss scenes dont roast me please

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko #atla smau #social media au #zuko smau #zuko x reader #smau #atla fic #zuko fic #zuko x you #zuko x y/n #avatar fic #avatar the last airbender fic

234 notes · View notes

honsoolie · 4 years

Text

don’t rush | 02

pairing: Yoongi/reader

genre: slight enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, eventual smut, classical pianist!yoongi, violinist!reader, they’re both actually really into each other but won’t admit it

warnings (for this chapter only): mentions of stage fright/performance anxiety, swearing, sexual references, slight angst, dad jokes :|

words: 6k

rating: +18

summary: You know, when Min Yoongi’s face isn’t screwed into an accusatory scowl, he looks exactly like the kind of guy you’d have no trouble falling in love with. Or, the conservatory au where Yoongi helps you get over your stage fright. In more ways than one.

a/n: didn’t plan to take this long for an update, life gets in the way, you know the drill. read 01 here and as always, this is crossposted to ao3 :)

When you get inside, the warmth welcomes you in. You’re not quite sure if it’s from the heating in the hallway or how Yoongi’s eyes had shone in the moonlight. You lean against the inner door frame, a happy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, legs a little weak in the knee. You feel light-headed, maybe from being up late, maybe from your exhausting day, maybe from the lingering remnants of Yoongi’s cologne.

Did that really just happen? Did he really just ask for your number? Was this all a dream?

The euphoria is short-lasting, however. You still have some assignments waiting for you, and only a couple hours left until your morning classes. The tiredness never lets up, and your limbs heavy again as you make your way inside the lobby of your dorm.

Unknown number (2:47am): hi this is yoongi

Unknown number (2:47am): did you get inside ok?

You (2:48am): yeah

You (2:48am): did u?

Yoongi (2:50am): im walking back now

Yoongi (2:50am): you should sleep soon ://

You (2:51am): I still have hw :(

You (2:51am): text me when ur back inside too

Yoongi (2:53am): lmaoo is it counterpoint hw

Yoongi (2:54am): it’s so sweet that you care for my safety ;(

You (2:54am): yes sadly

You (2:55am): ofc I care, we can’t have our amazing star pianist get hurt

Yoongi (2:55am): im home now

Yoongi (2:58am): you have a thing for praise, don’t you

Even though you can’t see him, you splutter alone in your room, roommate fast asleep. There is no way that means what you think it means.

You (3:00am): idk where u got that from

You (3:03am): maybe i do, you’ll have to find out

Yoongi (3:04am): I would, but you have to finish your analysis worksheet :/

You (3:15am): ugh, fuck it

You (3:15am): im going to sleep

You (3:15am): ill just wake up early tomorrow to finish it before class

Yoongi (3:16am): what? No goodnight? >:(

Yoongi (3:17am): some manners you have

Yoongi (3:17am): what a rude girl

You (3:18am): aw have i been bad?

You (3:18am): I’m sooooo sorry

You (3:19am): gn

The minutes tick by, and you grow more indignant than you should. Is he serious?

Who doesn’t say goodnight back? Maybe you scared him off. Maybe all this “flirtatious” banter was just how Yoongi talked to his friends. How would you know? You don’t know anything about him.

The same insidious doubt creeps back in. Maybe this is all a game to him. Maybe he just wanted to introduce himself to another music student in the department, you all were supposed to know each other anyway. Maybe, worst of all, he had really only meant to wake you up in the music building as a simple courtesy, no intent behind it. You groan as you sink into your bed, cradling your head in your hands.

You (3:27am): some hypocrite you are

Yoongi (3:30am): I was in the showerrr relax

Yoongi (3:31am): hm you have been bad

Yoongi (3:33am): maybe I should punish you

You (3:29am): u wish

You (3:30am): but goodnight for real, we have class in five hours :”(

Yoongi (3:31am): goodnight

Yoongi (3:31am): save me a spot next to you

You were in the world’s smallest big crisis.

Was Yoongi actually serious when he asked you to save a seat? Or were you just indulging in wishful thinking? Was he flirting with you last night? And if he was, what are you supposed to do now?

Whatever he meant, you would have to face him now.

The endless litany of maybes and what-ifs grows louder in your head, even louder than last night during your text correspondence with him.You elect to use your backpack to save the seat next to you as class time draws nearer, chiding yourself for overthinking something so casual, but it does nothing to soothe your existential anxiety.

“Thanks for saving me a spot, I’m so glad you remembered.” A voice brings you out of your reverie. It takes a moment to register who it is at first. Your eyes meet the traditional college garb first, sweatpants and an overwashed fundraising t-shirt, then the half-tamed cowlick, that ever-present cup of coffee. Your breath catches in your throat, breathtaking despite the casual circumstances. It’s just another class lecture, you chastise yourself, but your gut twists nonetheless.

Seeing Yoongi in such close quarters is still an adjustment for you, his presence (or even the thought of being close to him) a shock to your body. You had spent so much time languishing after him that even now, it still feels like waking up into a dream.

You clear your throat, stalling, “Yeah, putting my backpack in the seat next to mine was sooo hard. You should compensate me for my labor.”

You try to put on the flirty smile that you were wearing last night, but it feels like a grimace. God, you are way too nervous for this.

You realize you’ll never get tired of the way he laughs at your shitty jokes, the way his shoulders shake and eyes crinkle at the corners.

“Yeah, I will, don’t you worry about that.” He sinks into the seat next to you and doesn’t spare you a second glance.

Dr. Won walks in, the picture of put-togetherness, killing whatever flirty response you had formulated.

You thought you had enjoyed having a crush before, but admiring someone and imagining a life together from afar was worlds away from talking and sitting next to said object of affection. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You shouldn’t be tripping all over yourself when Yoongi sits next to you in lecture.

Whatever Dr. Won is saying is drowned out by Yoongi sitting next to you. It feels deeply unfair how he affects you, when he gets to sit next to you like nothing important is happening. It’s just another day in lecture, preparing for the midterms coming up.

He’s not even doing anything, minding his own business. You shouldn’t be swooning when he is just sitting there, again bouncing his leg, taking diligent notes. From the furtive glances you steal, even his handwriting is attractive. Endearing, even if it was a little messy and looping over the printed lines.

True fact: the only reason why Yoongi fidgets so much is because of the effect you had on him. It drives him up the wall, the way you keep tucking your hair behind your ear. He envies your unfaltering concentration, the look in your eye when you see something on the Powerpoint slides that you have to jot down.

Yoongi can’t stand to silently sit next to you without doing anything anymore. Taking his pen, he scrawls on the corner of your neat notes. He knows it’ll piss you off, but that’s the reaction that he wants.

do you have any idea what is going on

He watches carefully for your reaction. Satisfaction creeps into his neutral expression when you notice, confusion turning into what could only be a lovestruck smile, and then into an irritated grimace. Fuck, even the curve of your wrist was enough to drive him crazy. You pick up your pen, writing back.

No, stop writing on my stuff

Okay, new plan, Yoongi concedes. He settles for writing on the corner of his own notes, tearing off the corner. He slips the paper into your lap, fingertips skimming the top of your thigh. He doesn’t notice, but he leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake.

don’t you think dr. won dresses like an old hag

You write back on the scrap of paper:

actually you could learn a thing or two from her

Yoongi smirks, in classic Yoongi fashion.

You know I would rock a long skirt like her

Yoongi watches you read his message, smile, and then tuck the note into your notebook.

After class, Dr. Won reminds everyone of the midterm coming up two weeks from now, and that’s when Yoongi senses an opportunity. The two of you walk out of class together, forced to walk side by side because of the student foot traffic.

“Do you like, want to study together sometime?” Yoongi blurts out, louder than he needs to be, even among the hum of the other students.

He clears his throat. “I mean, we’ve shared a lot of classes, so.”

You can’t help but laugh in surprise, or maybe incredulousness. You resist the urge to let the satisfaction show on your face. “I didn’t know you ever noticed.”

“Of course I did. You’re like, the biggest nerd on the planet.” Even when Yoongi is teasing you, he can’t help but sound bashful.

You gasp in mock offense. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.” You both stop, standing at the mouth of the lecture hall.

“Of course not.” He’s awfully close to you, close enough that you can see the mole on the tip of his nose. “That’s why I’m asking you to be my study buddy.”

It’s not necessary to be standing this close. Sure, the hallway is busy, but not that busy.

“Study buddy? That sounds lame.” You scoff, playing hard to get. Both you and Yoongi know you’re going to say yes anyway.

“What else do you want me to call you? My homework homie?”

“Uh, yeah . That sounds way better than study buddy. ” You’re more proud of your humor than anything else, even if it earns a deserved eye-roll from Yoongi.

“And midterms are coming up. So you know, mutually beneficial.” Yoongi takes a sip from his coffee, peering at you from behind the rim.

“Like… friends with benefits?” You can’t help yourself. It’s just too easy to flirt with him.

Yoongi tongues his cheek, he grins. “Only if you want it to be.” He’s having way too much fun with this.

You try to hide your reaction, but Yoongi notices anyway. (He notices a lot of things you don’t realize.) Your wide-eyed shock, the blush that’s flushing down your neck, the way you open your mouth as if to say something equally as flirtatious back, your laugh, like this is actually way more casual than it is.

“So I’ll take that as a yes,” He says. You could get used to the playful lilt in his voice.

“Only if you promise you won’t just copy my work.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, suddenly very aware of how tall he is.

“I live and die by the honor code, y/n. Of course I won’t,” Yoongi says, leaning ever closer to you in the cramped hallway.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Does a man of honor text me like you did last night?”

“Oh come on. If you’re going to be friends with me you’re going to have to learn to laugh at dirty humor.” Friends? It’s a start, at least.

“Who said that I didn’t like dirty humor?”

“Hmm, I did.” There’s a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. “You’d have to be a woman of your word and show me.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You flash an innocent smile, like you don’t see the implication of what he’s saying.

Tuesdays have always been the most bittersweet day of the week for you. It’s lesson day, but oh, it’s lesson day. It feels like the day of judgement, every single week. It’s a culmination of all the blood and tears that you’ve poured into your music in the past week, another chance at evaluation. You’ve known your violin teacher longer than you’ve been in college, and it still shouldn’t scare you this much.

The nervousness spins and dips in your chest as you make your way up the winding stairs that lead to the music building. You usually soothe the apprehension by reminding yourself of all the things you’ve done to prepare, just like you usually do before you go out on stage. This week you were supposed to get the rest of the Bach partita memorized and cleaned up, but it still resides in your memory as disjointed bits and pieces of what it’s actually supposed to sound like. You try to run through the parts that you were stuck on last night, but you draw a blank. You usually don’t take this long to commit pieces to memory, but when you open up your score, all you can think about is the unmoving stare of the audience. Seeing your life flash before your eyes every time you stare at your pencil markings isn’t exactly conducive to productive practice sessions.

As you retrieve your violin from your locker and make your way to the practice room, you feel like you’re preparing yourself for your own undoing—every scale, every tick of the metronome—another step towards your demise.

It shouldn’t be this serious, but the pitter-pattering of your heart says otherwise. You glance at the clock. It’s time. You pack up now, so you have a couple extra minutes to wait solemnly outside of her office, staring at the posters that advertise the professionals who come to perform concerts at your college. Next week, a pianist and violinist duo is coming. In the picture, they’re smiling proudly next to a Steinway piano. They look proud of themselves. They probably don’t feel like they’re allergic to the stage, probably live for the audience’s applause. That’s probably how they ended up there on the poster, after all.

Your violin teacher isn’t scary. She’s a homey, lovely old woman whose wrinkles come from a lifetime of smiling. She’s the type to bring you sweet, homemade pastries that are almost as warm as her hugs during the toughest parts of the semester. Which makes the moments when she’s unhappy all the more painful. It’s not her fear that plagues you, but disappointment.

The door clicks open, and you have no more time to ponder your failures as a musician. You gather your things and head inside. Nothing inside her office has changed since the previous week. The same teetering stack of well-loved method books sits on her chair, the same humidifier whirring steadily in the corner, the same Dr. Kim Hyung-Seo sitting on the piano bench.

“Good afternoon, y/n! How’s the Bach coming along?” She asks, like you haven’t spent the past week treating this piece like your mortal enemy. She takes a sip of her warm chamomile tea, from the same snowman-shaped mug that she’s used every week, because she is that endearing. In another life, she would probably be your grandmother.

“Good morning. Ah, you know…” You trail off and gesture into the air, trying to hide your grimace. How could you possibly describe the unease and unsureness around performing without crossing some kind of professional boundary?

“Let’s hear it, it’s okay. Are you all warmed up?” You nod as you unpack your things again. As you move to put the Bach score on the music stand, she tuts.

“Didn’t we agree that this would be memorized last week?” Dr. Kim flips through her lesson notes, inky blue scrawling over the pages. “Yeah, it should be memorized. Close the score, darling.” Usually, when Dr. Kim calls you darling, warmth unfurls in your chest and you beam. You’re not feeling particularly warm right now.

“Ah, okay…” With slow reluctance, you close the score, the plain paper cover mocking you. You lift your bow to your violin, and shut your eyes. You don’t want to watch this.

Yoongi (4:38pm): Hey

Yoongi (4:38pm): wanna study tonight :]

If there’s anything Yoongi is good at, it’s having perfect timing. You half-walk, half-run out of the music building, sucking frigid air into your lungs. The cold weather seems to force the tears back into your eyes. If there was ever a worst-case scenario for how a lesson could go, then that was what just played out in the music room.

Shutting your eyes won’t stop the barrage of images, playing the world’s cruelest slideshow behind your eyelids. Your teacher’s pursed lips, the still fingers clasped over her mug, the pinched brow.

“y/n, we don’t have much more time to clean it up…” Her words echo in your head. “We’ll try again next week…” The disappointment was the worst thing, the downward tone in her voice. “I expected better…”

You (5:15pm): maybe

You (5:15pm): what time?

Yoongi (5:20pm): like now

Yoongi (5:23pm): are you busy?

You (5:25pm): no I just finished up a lesson

You (5:26pm): i’m about to study in the library if you want to join me

Yoongi (5:30pm): I don’t want to go to the library :(

You (5:31pm): why not

Yoongi (5:32pm): if I feed you dinner will you come to my apartment

Yoongi (5:33pm): I really don’t want to walk to the library it’s too damn cold

After all, the best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

You (5:35pm): fine

You (5:35pm): it better be a hell of a dinner

Yoongi (5:36pm): of course it will

Yoongi sends you his location, and you’re walking as fast as you can through the campus to make it to his apartment before you can freeze your fingers off.

Yoongi’s expression is nothing short of scandalized when you show up at his door. It’s a typical mouse hole apartment, his front door identical to all the other ones that you’d passed to get here.

“You’re not wearing gloves? In this weather?”

“I don’t have any…” You rasp out. You’re tired. Your throat hurts from trying to hold tears back during your entire lesson, and you have no spirit left to give Yoongi an innuendo-laced comeback.

I expected better.

“Oh my god, you’ve been playing violin for how many years and nobody ever told you to wear gloves when it’s cold?” He leads you inside, the warmth abating the cold that’s wormed its way underneath your clothes and into your bones.

“For God’s sake, y/n, hasn’t anyone ever told you about the importance of blood circulation?” Yoongi clasps your hands between his, rubbing and blowing air on them to warm them up. He doesn’t notice your surprise amid his chastising, muttering something about common sense. You don’t try to keep your guard up this time, just trying to bite tears back at the mention of musicianship. The firm press of his hands grounds you.

“There.” He smiles, proud of himself. “Warm now?”

Oh yeah, you’re definitely warm. In every dimension of the word. But you don’t tell him that, so you settle for a weak nod.

“You can put your stuff there. I’m hungry now, let’s eat first?” You hum in affirmation as you settle your heavy backpack on his cramped couch.

It turns out that Min Yoongi’s idea of gourmet cooking is heating up two freezer-burnt Hot Pockets while you watch him putter around the tiny kitchenette. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him without his glasses, and this is when you finally internalize that Yoongi will always look good no matter what he does or wears or says.

“You made it seem like you were cooking,” You say, just to fill the silence.

“Uhhhh, I don’t know who told you I was capable of cooking, but they were wrong. I can show you a good time in other ways, no?”

You snort.

In hopes of saving time, he microwaves both of Hot Pockets at the same time. You silently bristle at the fact that even your dinner is getting more action than you are these days.

You and Yoongi eat together in his tiny living room, sitting on mismatched stools.

“How did your lesson go?” Yoongi says, more focused on eating than on you.

“Oh…” You set your Hot Pocket down, sighing in defeat. The image of Dr. Kim sitting behind the piano bench, her dissatisfaction like a noxious cloud. “I… I… got ripped apart. I’m a little behind with preparing for the Bach festival, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do or prepare will make me less stressed about it.” You slump onto the counter, recounting all the things you did wrong in your lesson today. I expected better.

“What’s the stress about? We still have over a month, right?” You’re suddenly jealous of Yoongi. His nonchalance, his seemingly constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay.

“I’m not worried about that… just, no matter how much I practice, I’m gonna fuck it up on stage.” Your forehead pinches in frustration.

“Are you that nervous?”

“I’ve always been this nervous. For any performance. I haven’t performed alone in a while… and you know. It’s Bach, and everyone expects me to do some amazing job, and it’s like, I don’t know if I can deliver that and-” Yoongi eases his hand on your shoulder, calm, reassuring. He looks concerned. Like he cares. Like a friend.

“When was the last time you played something just for the fun of it?”

“I don’t know, maybe my freshman year? I used to arrange themes from movies.”

“We should work on something together, just for fun. We’re such a perfect instrument combo, there’s so much repertoire for violin and piano.”

“What did you have in mind? Do you even have enough time for that?” (You know you don’t have enough time for that.)

“It doesn’t even have to be a difficult piece. It could be something easy or hard, I don’t care.” Yoongi ponders his next words over a bite of his food. “I… I... just want to see you less stressed out. And music should always be fun, not just for a grade. What kind of music would you be making if you weren’t happy?”

“I don’t know…”

“I know this one Brahms piece that I think you’d like. Totally fits your vibe. We can just work on it slowly, you know? Or we could arrange the Anpanman theme song, I don’t care.”

“I think I’m mostly good for the midterm, except for the composer dates,” Yoongi spins around in his office chair, dragging his feet on the ground.

“Me too,” You say, as you drink in the sight of his room. For someone who claims to abhor studying and all things academic, Yoongi appears to be quite the organized student. Despite the constant claim that his education is merely a necessary evil, he keeps his notes organized in uniform binders on a well-cared for bookshelf. The bookshelf is adjacent to the extremely detailed wall calendar, marked full with due dates and deadlines in pens of various colors.

He runs his fingers over the binders to locate the binder allocated to the species counterpoint class you’re taking together.

“I already have flashcards for everything before the Romantic Era, but I’m so fucked for everything else.”

“Why not just use Quizlet like everyone else?” You say. You eye his neatly made bed and the Kumamon stuffed animal shoved hastily underneath it.

“Back in my day, we used flashcards like cavemen,” Yoongi reasons, despite the fact that your birthdays are months within each other. “And besides, they feel better in your hand.” Of course, they’re indexed by color and musical era.

“Ugh, I hate sitting at my desk. My back is starting to hurt,” Yoongi says, despite having worked for about ten minutes. “Do you want to lay down?” He pats the fluffy comforter adjacent to him. Yoongi doesn’t wait for your response however, plopping down on the bed with an audible thump.

“Okay, old man,” You jibe, but you’ve also been sitting for a majority of the day. Your back is aching too, but you’ll never admit it to him.

Sometimes, at times like these, you wish you could just muster up the courage and stop playing this game of cat and mouse with him. When you lay on his sheets that smell like him, quizzing each other, you wonder what would happen if you confessed your feelings for him, right then and there.

Or outlined exactly how exactly you would take his cock in your mouth, given the chance. Other times, you consider the fact that he might like to play with his food before diving in. Whatever it was, it scared you, the unease climbing up your spine and staying put.

You wonder if he understands the implication of you so casually lounging on his bed, but then you realize that you likely don’t exist in the realm of romantic possibilities for him. He likely sees you as the nerdy, sexless violinist that spends all her time slaving away in the practice room or the library. That’s why you’re here, after all. To help study for the midterms coming up. “Being friends with him is better than nothing,” you tell yourself, but you can’t really bring yourself to believe it.

You don’t remember, or at least don’t care to, when Yoongi started touching every aspect of your life. It’s really only been a couple of weeks since the two of you started studying together. You don’t dare to imagine how much of your thoughts he would occupy if you continue your friendship into the coming months. If your crush of massive proportions was bad before, it’s truly out of hand now. It certainly didn’t help that he actually knew you existed now. He spammed you gifs of baby animals while he was on the way to class, texted you links to performances of pieces that he was working on. He even began to send you teasing texts on the mornings that he made it to the practice rooms before you.

Every experience you have is colored by thoughts of him. The coffee that you drink like ambrosia conjures up images of him sitting across from you in some far-off sunlit cafe, laughing at all your jokes. On the nights when sleep escapes you, you lay awake rehashing over and over what you had said to him on the previous day. You even fall into reveries when he’s sitting there right next to you.

It’s inescapable, especially with the Bach Festival looming over your head. The more time you spend in the practice room, the more you go back to that one fateful night. You can still see the image of him now, sitting before the piano, playing Chopsticks.

You both make your way through the fat deck of flashcards, Yoongi quizzing you first.

“J.S. Bach?” You note to yourself even the upswing in his voice was cute. How did you ever let yourself get so whipped?

“1685 to…” You falter, still stuck on his voice. Even his voice drives you crazy.

“Come on, you should know this.” He drives his point home by poking you in the side, and he likes the gasp that you make.

“1750.” Of course you know Bach’s birth and death dates by heart. You see it every time you open up your score. Even the scant prod he gave you in the side, over your clothes, is enough to make your skin heat up.

“And if you ever tickle me again, you won’t live long enough for midterms,” You threaten, but your harsh tone of voice doesn’t reach the light in your eyes.

“Brahms?”

“Ugh, fuck, I don’t know. 1832 to?”

“Wrong.” He sets the cards down next to him, looking at you in mock disappointment. In an instant, he attacks you with tickles, and your efforts to bat him away are fruitless.

“This-this is what you get for not knowing when Brahms was born! Learn through punishment! 1833 to 1897, remember that next time!!” He collapses on top of you, burying his face in your neck, unrelenting. Yoongi sounds almost gleeful in your torture.

You writhe under his touch, and for all the wrong reasons.

For the first time in your life, you’re almost glad you’re ticklish. Your eyes roll back into your head, not of your own accord. It’s too much, the soft skin of his cheek pressed up against your neck, the warm weight of his body against yours, the way his legs cage you in. A moan slips in between your helpless giggles, and Yoongi doesn’t miss it.

“Uhhh, what was that?” He doesn’t stop, merciless in his advance. “I didn’t know you liked tickling… like that.” He’s teasing you, now. He can’t hide his pleased grin.

Between gasps, you manage to pant, “I… don’t…”

“Then what? Tell me.” That’s when Yoongi relents, leaning back. He continues to straddle you, because he’s cruel like that. (And because he likes it too.)

“You’re just… ugh, I don’t know… so close.” In Yoongi’s eyes, you’re a study in debauchery. From your struggle, your hair is mussed, the hem of your shirt awry. Your cheeks are flushed, from embarrassment or from the tickling, you don’t know. Your chest frantically rises and falls, trying to regain your breath.

You, on the other hand, feel fucking ridiculous. Contrary to popular belief, being on the recieving end of tickling is fucking physically exhausting.

Yoongi is stuck on the hot and bothered look on your face, except for the hard look in your eye. You despise being tickled, even if it is Min Yoongi doing the tickling. He wonders what you’d look like if you were underneath him in… different circumstances.

Would it compare?

“I… I… I just…” You avert your gaze now, hiding your face behind your hands. You can’t stand to look at him right now.

“Spill it, or I’ll go back to tickling you until you break.” He grabs your hands away from your face, pinning them next to your head.

He really isn’t going to make this easy for you, is he.

This is overwhelming. The eye contact is too much. The weight of his hands on your wrists, holding you down, is too much. The way his panting breath tickles the skin beneath your collar is too much. You’ve had a bad day, the voice in the back of your head whispers. He makes you forget how awful this semester has been. He makes you feel better. Make this day easier on yourself. Just give in.

There’s no hiding it now, you concede.

You shut your eyes, unable to face him. “It’s just… been a while.”

“Uh-huh. Continue?” He places his hands back on your stomach, as if in warning.

“Since uhhhh… I’ve done… anything… with anyone…” Your words hang heavy in the air. Your secret is out.

He laughs. He really has the audacity to laugh.

“Shut up! I’m just like, touch starved, okay?” You’re definitely just blushing out of embarrassment, at this point.

Yoongi starts to ponder if he crossed too far of a line, but you continue anyway. You huff, indignant and desperate to cover your ass. This is not how you ever imagined telling Yoongi you were ever interested in him, sexual or not.

“Not everyone is like, the campus pussy magnet and gets to fuck whenever they want,” You say.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m not the campus pussy magnet. We’re... not so different. I haven’t been with anyone, um, in a while.” Now Yoongi takes his turn to blush and stutter. He does that thing he always does when he’s nervous, runs a hand through his hair and lets it rest on the nape of his neck.

“I find that hard to believe. No need to lie out of pity. Like, come on. Look at you. You’re all…” You gesture down his body, “And you have that whole vibe going on, and you’re tall, and you have good taste in cologne, and-and-and you play the piano , and ugh. You should know that by now.” You babble on. You’re not that good at keeping secrets, anyway. Might as well let the cat out of the bag while you’re at it.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but you’re not fazed. By now, you’re used to the long silences that elapse when you’re with him. You wait for him to talk first, just so you can discreetly enjoy the feeling of him straddling you for a little longer. You try to pass off the silence as you quietly fuming at him for calling out your lackluster sex life, but you’re really just trying get yourself together.

Then he starts laughing. Again.

“What are you laughing for now?” Your brow furrows in frustration.

“Nothing, nothing, don’t be mad. I just didn’t think that tickling would be a turn on for you.”

“It’s not!”

“To be completely honest with you, you look like one of those really innocent soft girls on the outside but you’re actually like, into choking and have a secret sex dungeon.” He doesn’t seem to care that you’ve all but revealed your massive, terminal crush on him.

You sigh, but you’re just glad he gave you something to fire back with.

“You and I both know that the university dorms are too small for a sex dungeon, Yoongi. I can’t even have candles in my room. What sex dungeon is complete without candles?”

“Oh, a devil in the details. The ambiance is important, I see…” That devious smile of his makes a comeback.

“Oh, shut up. Give me the flashcards, four-eyes.” He relinquishes the flashcards, but he still continues to straddle you.

“Woah, there’s no need to insult my glasses.”

You ignore him, desperate to move on from your momentary lapse in judgement. “Haydn?”

“1732 to 1809. What about music? Music must be important if you care about the ambiance. Answer my question.”

You laugh to cover up how worked up you are. “Maybe you can find out after we finish reviewing. Scarlatti?”

“1660 to 1725. What kind of music do you listen to? R&B, something sexy?” He sits up now, spurred on by your refusal to answer his questions.

“Or do you listen to classical music then, too? Does Chopin get your blood flowing?” He’s being insufferable now.

You groan into the pillow. “Yoongiii, let’s focus.”

“If it’s something like Liszt, I’m sure I have a couple recommendations.”

Yoongi sits up straighter, waggles his eyebrows in a way you definitely shouldn’t find endearing. “Or, I could record something for you…”

You snap. “Just, I don’t know, sometimes I listen to music?” Your attempts to stop the blushing are in vain, heat blooming across your cheeks and down your neck. It’s even harder to stop when it’s your embarrassingly short sexual history on the line.

“I prefer dirty talk anyways…” You murmur under your breath, wishing he could just get the fuck off your case. The more he keeps talking about things like this, in that tone of voice, the harder it’s going to get to keep your ever-growing crush a secret.

Still, some small part (let’s be honest, the monkey brain part of you) of you, the part of you that aches for him, wants to spur him on.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Nothing.”

“Hmm… something about dirty talk?” Fuck, does Yoongi have a good ear. He smiles. He knows he’s gotten you now.

Okay, you should probably admit to yourself that he’s flirting with you now. The touches, the holding you down, the insistence on pushing this tiny matter, it all adds up. And the math says that Min Yoongi is flirting with you.

“Mmm, nothing.” You snuggle a little deeper into his bedsheets, playing coy.

“You know, like during sex? Don’t make me tickle you again, because I will stoop that low.”

“I don’t remember saying that…” You mock-pretend to ponder his question, catch your bottom lip between your teeth. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his gaze fall downward. You know you’ve gotten him now.

“Can you refresh my memory?”

“Like… you know.” He shrugs.

“I’m an auditory learner. Do you have an example?”

“Hmm, let me think… I’ll tease you until you’re begging for me to touch you properly? Does that ring a bell for you?”

“No…” You bring your hands to your face to cover up your blush, and because you can’t stand to look at him. Not when he’s talking to you like that, with that look in his eye, his hands on your body. “It doesn’t…” You laugh, even beneath his weight.

He laughs. “I’m just teasing. You’re so cute when I get a rise out of you.”

Oh.

#armywriterssupport #btsgoldnet #yoongi smut #bts smut #yoongi fanfic #yoongi scenarios #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts #bts x reader

84 notes · View notes

yeoldontknow · 4 years

Text

🖊️writers tag game🖊️

tagged by *deep breath* @ditzymax @red-exo @kyungseokie @j-pping @blackberrykai and...someone else im pretty sure for this sweet little tag game. thank you so much angels!

1. what is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

this confused me for a moment...because shouldn’t it be where? im so sorry. ok honestly...my ideal setting is in my bathroom in the tub with no water. this is ideal but i rarely do it. primarily this is because i do my best thinking by water - lakes, oceans, nature - which has resulted in tubs and sinks. i once wrote a midterm paper in my dorm bathroom in the nook under the tall sink. but because its uncomfortable and impractical, and i am not pressured to finish a paper under a time crunch, im kind of...all over the place? sometimes i write in bed with a few candles lit. other times im on the couch in my living room. i have a desk and i did all of chanvember last year at this desk, but since ive been working from home the writing space has become the work space and im still struggling to get the balance right. in all scenarios, i need a good snack (usually hummus + chips/veggies), water, and music playing is an absolute must. if the music is wrong, i simply cant write. thats how its always been.

2. what is your favorite genre to write?

angst, horror, mafia, historical, science fiction. i love love love writing these genres. romance falls thematically into these, but writing strictly a romantic drama is incredibly difficult for me.

3. do you prefer to write on paper, or digitally?

these days im all digital but when i was working in the office i was a mix of both. id scribble ideas on a piece of paper and rip it out to take it home; if i was on the train, id write ideas quickly into my notes app. several paragraphs of hero, replay, currents, and bloodletting exist on paper which i eventually transcribed into docs. but if im sitting down to write a fic, its generally digital.

4. it’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. what do you do?

i have to flesh out the idea before i transcribe it. it depends on its its a plot idea or a line. if its a line that hits me or feels important, it immediately goes into the planning doc for whatever fic it relates to or suits best. i will then think about this line over and over until it becomes nonsensical an, hopefully though it is highly unlikely, fall back asleep and dream up something inspired by this line.

if its a story idea, i generally dont forget those so i dont need to immediately write them. those kinds of ideas arise out of dreams (assuming it woke me up, in this scenario) and i rarely forget what i dream. in that situation, i will not be able to fall back asleep. anyone who knows me knows that i struggle getting sleep. at best i will average 3-4 hours a night, simply because im thinking too much. so if this woke me up, ill spend the rest of the night thinking about how i want it to go, who it will suit, making a playlist or thinking about songs, gathering inspiration from my fiction fodder blogs, and only when the sun comes up will i consider perhaps its time for sleep. once i officially begin the day, ill review the vague planning doc ill likely have formed in my brain and actually compile it into a tangible document.

5. who is your favorite person to write about?

i mean....hello lmaooo park chanyeol. hes my muse. i do all my best writing for him, even if its unintentional. in other groups, i adore writing for taehyung and namjoon. their minds compel me. ive recently been thinking about writing some pieces for got7 and i do have an unfinished WIP for @red-exo and in all instances writing for JB excites me.

6. do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

i mean...its RPS fic on this blog, so its real people but its a face claim. theyre kind of like my barbie dolls i insert into worlds in my head. so in a sense...theyre my own characters but they happen to look like idols lmao conversely, writing original characters (as in wyrm tamer, asas, theoretically TQIS) scares me. ive written rps fanfic for so long its as though ive lost confidence in writing my own characters. this is why many of my stories have started to see the introduction of other characters to practice it.

7. have you ever written a book, or a story with more than 15 chapters (or 100k words)?

ok the answer is yes but its not published. its 30 chapters, 200k words. it was originally a fanfic and ive toyed with editing it over the years in the advent that maybe one day i would publish it if i liked it enough.

fun fact: hero is about 15K away from 100K words. i will be celebrating when it gets there.

8. how often do you get ideas?

like...constantly. all the time. every time i hear music, or watch a film, or read something in a book, my mind commences the ‘would you like to go to another dimension’ quest and i always, without fail, hit the yes button.

9. do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

*glances sidelong at my masterlist and my 17 unpublished wips* you must be new here

10. what is your least favorite plot?

like...genre? as i said before, idol!verse is something i refrain from reading. i struggle profoundly writing fluff/romantic fluff which is why i try to practice it. plots, in general, in which someone has to go through a makeover of some kind (appearance wise) to suddenly be categorically enough (this isnt just fic...its how i feel in any media). rape/dub-con is a hard pass. otherwise, im down for pretty much anything.

11. tag 5 or more people

@dark-muse-iris @yehet-me-up @jiminiethot @iq-biased @yoonia @jamaisjoons @jenmyeons @fairyyeols @readyplayerhobi @johobi @yixingminseokjongdae @imdifferentshadesofpurple yall i think everyone and their brother has done this tag. if ive tagged you and youve already done it im real sorry :( as always please only do this if you wish

#about me #writers tag game #its absolutely comical how far behind on little tags i am #heavens to betsy

12 notes · View notes

sophocused · 5 years

Text

uni recap 2019

I think it's really important for young studyblrs still in high school or junior high to be exposed to more detailed and honest uni experience anecdotes, so buckle up because it’s about to get real honest and a little personal in here.

I'm in the middle of the fall term of my second uni year, technically now in the 2nd year of my general B.Sc. and I need to start from the beginning a little bit, especially when it comes to my academic journey so far.

Let's start with junior high, when adults always want to ask what you want to be when you grow up. After going to a career symposium with friends, a field trip run by the school, that's when I heard about the College of Pharmacy at the "top" university of the province.

First thing that attracted me was that they make an annual $100k a year, and to my 14 year old impressionable mind that was convinced that my future had to revolve around making bank, I decided from there that I would work towards the end goal of becoming a pharmacist.

I was convinced that pharmacy was the ultimate goal to get my life going, as a real functioning adult of society.

Fortunately, I was wrong. It was a hard pill to swallow, but a necessary one nonetheless.

Since this is an academic recap, I won't bring up the mental health and physical health bits of the last eight years of my life, I'll fastforward to high school senior year, when I decided I would (as a minimal effort-get straight A's student) actually TRY in my studies again. It was because my work ethic had grown to a point that when I didn't try and still got a B or A, I was scared of the moment I would actually try and then not get an A or A+. I wanted to fight that fear of realizing that I'm not "effortlessly good at thngs" because I didnt want to have a fear of failure.

(Disclaimer: it's been three years since then and I'm still a work in progress when it comes to my relationship with failures but it is getting consistently healthier, despite bumps)

Thus, I started this studyblr three years ago, June 30th 2016 I believe?? My url was chemystery for the first few days but sophocused came up because of sophocles (not that hes my fave philosopher or anything) it just stuck ANYWAY IM GETTING DISTRACTED

So I actually tried in my last year of high school, worked hard and got A's in physics, pre-calculus, and AP chemistry. The AP chemistry came with a provincial exam, that in getting a score of 4, granted me a $150 reward, and the grade of a B in two university courses (2 chem prerequisites)

I was a fool and no one exactly explained to me that those 2 courses were even harder when taught through uni, because I really wasted nearly $1000 in taking those two courses again in my first year of uni, in hopes of turning them into A's.

I should probably mention that going into uni, the pharmacy program had 2 chem, 2 bio, 1 calc, 1 written course, and 2 electives, as prerequisites. My innocent mind, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal, registered for a full five and five course load, so that I could finish all my prerequisites within my first year of uni, and apply for the college of pharmacy by March. (Back then, it was still a Bachelor's program where selection process depended on your AGPA, and your mark on a written critical skills essay)

I learned the hard way that for university, it is a mentally and emotionally laborious task to try and juggle five classes, having to hold yourself accountable when it comes to attendance and figuring out what notes you want to take. There's no way to write physical hand-written notes for five courses (not for me anyway).

It was incredibly fast-paced as well, and I had many days where I just didn't want to get out of bed. I was so conflicted with my perfectionist mindset, and the pressure to get a 4.0 GPA that I spread myself so thin and honestly it was one of the most difficult years of my life. I still got out with 8 B's and 2 A's by the end of my first year. I was ashamed of those B's.

When it came to applying for pharmacy however, despite the grades I got, my GPA didn't make it to the minimum 3.50 needed to be applicable for pharmacy, but I got my transcript a month after I had already applied for pharmacy and I had even done the written exam.

I had to face my first big failure which was getting the email that they couldnt even look over or consider my application because my GPA did not reach the minimum required.

On top of that, I learned that I could not just simply try again the next year. This was because suddenly, the university decided they were going to change the Bachelors pharmacy program into a PharmD. A doctorate. To me, that meant they added eight more prerequisites (even more difficult uni courses with chem and human phys), and a required PCAT score. We also were not allowed to apply until Fall 2020. That meant, I now suddenly had no plan for my academic career for the next two years because I had really only ever thought about getting into pharmacy on the first try.

After a breakdown or two last year upon processing this, I had made the decision and talked to my parents about trying for it again, and doing the new prerequisites. This brought in the new mental turmoil of money on my mind during my summer after first year of uni, thousands of dollars this would cost, suddenly having no routine for four months after working at max brain capacity for 6 months.

My 2nd year of uni, fall 2018, a lot of growing had happened, a lot of processing of failure happened, just. a lot. happened.

October 2018, I got a job at a school, so I really juggled my school stuff with work. Five days a week, I would be up at 6-7am and then get home around 6:30pm, while doing human physiology, organic chemistry 1, an eastern religions elective, and an intro to statistics course.

long story short, yes I must spare you the details of the process of it all because it got pretty sad. That was my worst uni term, ending with 1 B, 1 C+, 1 C, and an F in organic chem.

My first F in university. My first F ever in my entire school life. It was a begrudging blow at my mental state, and I spent two to three weeks devastated. I dont know how I got out of it, I think one day I just said to myself, "Okay you got an F, but did you die?"

Honestly, the humour in that really cheered me up, among other things, and the emotional support I got from my older sister, and by the time I got into the 2nd half of my uni year (right now), I have discovered I potentially have a calling to become a teacher or to work in the lab as a technician.

Most importantly, most if not all of the credits I've earned, are also applicable to get into the Faculty of Education. Basically, I came to peace with having options, and digging deep into myself to really find the thing that I could really see myself doing based on my personality and interests, not just on the money and the rush of finishing school.

I just finished the longest midterm season of winter 2019, with my first midterm being early February and my last midterm + essay deadline on March 15th... I did well. I did well in trying to really take care of myself while trying to go to every class and trying to work hard as much as I could everyday. I think out of my many midterms, I got 1 A, 4 B's, and a C. These are all salvageable. I do still really want to keep working towards a 4.5 GPA but now I'm okay if that doesnt always turn out to be what I get.

Anyway I finally get to write something like this because I've been busy for the past month, a lot of things happened again in the midst of it all, but I'm still okay. I get a week to rest before my lab exam and then it's finals season.

This time, I'll try hard not to just let my life pass me by, with only ever school and academics in mind, I had gotten really sad these past few weeks, and I'm usually good at being my own antidote for that, but I really got to a point where I felt I had no strength to pick myself back up.

Last night I said "fuck it" and decided to go to my cousin's house who I hadn't seen in over a month to spend time with them instead of working on my 30% essay due midnight. Before I was so desperate to finish it, terrified of the 2% deduction per day it would be late, but after crying on the bus, I had had enough of letting my academics bring this much weight on my mental health. After spending four hours with my cousins and aunt, I came home to my mom, and I watched a two hour movie with her.

I didn't regret it one bit. I felt better than I had in a long, long while.

Now, this Friday, my grandma and other cousin are flying in, and I cant wait to just keep healing.

Thank you for reading, or scanning over, I hope you got something good out of this, as I am telling this story both for my sake, and for other students’ who might commonly find themselves in the same boat. I believe in you.

#nina rambles #march 17 2019 #happy st. patrick's day #studyblr #studyblr tips #uni studyblr #university stories #university ramble #uni student #uni diaries #college struggles #uni struggles

31 notes · View notes

gloomstudy · 6 years

Note

kat!! ah im so sorry to be ranting to u right now but i really don't know who else to talk to :(( I'm a high school student and right now I'm taking an online class from my local community college. We had our midterm essay today in which we had to write an essay in two hours and it was recommended that we write in a word doc before copying and pasting into the actual text box. i did that but right when i was gonna past time was up! adfsjfsdfasaf I'm so sorry I'm really scared right now but (1/2)

i emailed my professor about it right away with proof that i had completed my essays but idk if he will accept it!! my grades gonna drop straight to a D and i have to get like all 100s on the rest of my assignments to raise it to a C and up until that point I've had all As :(( I'm really really sad right now and i know there’s nothing anyone can do about it until my professor replies but I'm sorry i just needed to get this out. thank you for being a safe space❤️ (2/2)

hi kat!! its the midterm essay anon and i just wanna say that my professor accepted it :)) I'm so relieved right now ahh

hello, lovely anon! ahh i’m really sorry i couldn’t answer your messages sooner, but i’m glad that everything worked out! it’s great that your professor is very understanding! a (hopefully) helpful tip for you, just in case something like this happens again: keep an eye on a clock so that you can keep track of time while you write! you can set alarms for when you have 1 hour left, 30 minutes left, 10 minutes left, and 5 minutes left. ideally, in the last 5-10 minutes, you should be pretty much done writing, quickly reading through your essay to check for any mistakes, and submitting it!

hope you did well on your essay, and you’re always welcome to stop by and vent in my inbox anytime! :’)

#answered #anon

4 notes · View notes

sugaabooga · 7 years

Text

Badboy!Woojin

Pairing: Park Woojin x Reader Genre: badboy!Woojin (sorta) Summary/Extra: sry for not updating consistently!

Warnings: HARASSMENT, KIDNAPPING

before i start lemme just say how much i love park woojin like omg

he’s my bias yall

so basically, badboy and fboy!Woojin scenarios brings me to tears

Anyway let us get on with it

So badboy!woojin would be the one kid sitting in the back of the classroom with his black hoodie and earbuds/headphones in/on his ears ALL THE TIME

He’s really really quiet and no one really knows what kind of person he is

He doesn’t have any friends since no one approaches him

He’s very intimidating

I mean who wouldn’t be intimidated if he never talks to anyone, has a hood over his head, glares at everything, has cold eyes, never smiles, never frowns, never shows any type of emotion!?!!?

He’s just a very mysterious dude that no one ever talked to before

So obviously he would become the target when playing dare or dare

It was a normal day where you and your friends were hanging out at the park and it’s when Sohye and Yoojung suggest to play dare or dare that you realize….

Something’s up

The dares for your friends aren’t that bad

“Go down onto the playground and block all the kids from going down the slide.”

“Act out a battlefield scene by yourself over by the bench”

“I dare you to go to Sungwoon sunbae and do aegyo”

You would have done any of those rather than having a freakin dare where you have to

“Date Park Woojin for two weeks”

“WHaAhahAHhaAHt!!?!?!”

You weren’t a person who turns down a dare, but nope

I don’t think you’re ready to convince the most mysterious and the super quiet badboy of your school to DATE you

Sohye notices your discomfort and says it’s a bit too much, but Yoojung ain’t havin any of it

“It’s Park Woojin, Y/N. It can’t be that hard. Just approach him a few times and BOOM. Before you know it, you’ll be dating him”

You frown

It wasn’t really like Yoojung to keep pushing these types of things but maybe she was curious about Park Woojin like the 99% of the school’s population

Not only were you slightly intimidated by Woojin, but you also didn’t want to date someone just bc of a dare

But after almost an hour of arguing, you give in

You stress out about the stupid dare you’ve ever got for the whole entire day

The dare is the only thing that’s on your mind from the time you sleep, in your dreams, and even until the morning when you enter your classroom to see Park Woojin with his hoodie over his head that was resting on the desk

You take a deep breath and take timid steps to the empty seat next to him

You hear the sudden silence take over and the hushed whispers bc

Why was someone going over to Woojin and WAAHHHHAAT

SITTING NEXT TO HIM!?!!?

After you slip into the cold seat, you shoot sharp glares across the room to shut the judgmental high school students

That’s when woojin opens his eyes to see what’s going on

He knew that it was never this quiet in class even when the teacher was teaching a lesson

Woojin slightly lifts his head and sees what it’s all about

L/N, Y/N

That one girl that woojin always noticed giving him pitiful glances and small smiles whenever they made eye contact

Woojin didn’t like being pitied

But when you looked at him with a certain sadness in your eyes, it didn’t feel like pity to him

It felt more like a feeling of….understanding almost

But that’s all you ever did

You never tried to spark a convo w/him or ever tried to acknowledge his presence without telepathy

So seeing you sitting next to him with a deathly glare pointed at everyone, made Woojin shocked and confused

He was so sure it was some kind of dare or some type of blackmail if it meant that someone...YOU were sitting next to him

If it was voluntary…..

Man that takes some guts

Anyways, the whole class period goes by with Woojin trying to ignore your deafening presence, and you trying to ignore the stares and whispers directed at the two of you

Woojin was used to the stares and gossip about him so he really didn’t mind it anymore

But for you, it was a first

When class ends you sigh and offer a small smile at woojin who’s glancing at you from time to time

You’re ready to leave, but when you stand up, you hear woojin call your name and your like

NSDFISYGURWVHNCMSOOIFYHFDSCNJS

!?!?!!!?!?How the heck does he know your name?!!???!??!

He’s just hella observant

You try to calm yourself and your shock as you let out a hum, turning around to face him

You actually expect to be met with a small smile on his face and his eyes not cold and piercing like they were now

Yea...woojin don’t seem too happy

“What’s your game?”

He spits out and looks at you with an annoyed expression

You freak out bc ONE his frkn satoori and voice is like

Oh MA GAH

And the other part of you is like ‘what am i supposed to say?!!?!?’

“Uh...What do you me-”

“Don’t act dumb. If sitting next to me was some kind of dare or joke, just stop.”

He gives you one last death glare and leaves the classroom in almost a calm way, but radiating anger, that it scares you

Nonetheless, you feel super bad and so stupid for even thinking to do the dare

At lunch you tell your friends the dare is off but it ends up getting Yoojung calling you ‘weak’

You get annoyed and pissed off bc it was just a frkn dare

So yah you two aren’t on good terms anymore

After school you’re walking home and get lost in all your thoughts

Woojin, yoojung, midterms, grades, your ap classes…..life

You’re so in your thoughts that you look up after a while and notice

You had no idea where the heck you were

It had to be the next neighborhood over, but you had never seen this part of town before

And it was pretty sketchy seeing that there was no one on the streets that had houses lined up on each side

Not to add, but all the houses had their lights off and the curtains closed

A sudden breeze blows through and gives a weird chill up and down your spine and that’s when you hear a shuffle from behind you

You start walking faster, toward anywhere really bc you didn’t know this part of town

Your pace did no help bc the person or thing behind you just matched your pace when you sped up

You clench your fists and start to break out in a run when the thing/person puts a hand around your wrist, making you scream reallyyyyy high-pitched, enough to crack the windows

The person covers your mouth, having you freak out even more and when you open your eyes you see this middle-aged man with a dark hoodie and black mask over his face

But you can tell he’s grinning at your panicking sight

You struggle against his grip around you, but he’s too strong and no one’s coming out of their houses to see the commotion

You feel less and less air coming through your lungs since the guy’s literally choking you and you feel your legs giving away and your body shutting down

You died

So i guess end of story

Bye guys hope you enjoyed badboy!woojin

And im working on regret pt.2 so stay tuned!

thxx

Lol jk

Im not that mean

Your horrible coughing wakes you up

You see a blurry black figure and for a second you think it’s the pycotic kidnapper who almost killed you

But then you hear a familiar deep, husky voice that’s asking you if you were okay in satoori and a slightly panicked voice

It was Park Woojin

“W...Woojin?”

Your voice is raspy and you literally croak it out

But you can’t care less bc you’re actually alive

“OMG Y/N! I thought you were dead!”

“Ha.Ha. Oh darn.”

You laugh that turns into a nasty cough and woojin hands you water

HE’S SO CARING TO YOU

After you’re a bit better you ask woojin what had happened and why you were in the backroom of a bar

Woojin explains how he and his close hyungs were taking a walk around the neighborhood and saw a girl collasped on the ground and a man backing away from her

The girl was you obviously, but they couldn’t find out who the man was, however the police are tracking him down

Woojin’s hyungs own a bar in the middle of your neighborhood and that was the closest place they could go to w/your dead weight

You slightly blush and thank him but then apologize for what happened at school

you tell him that it was all a stupid dare to get you and him dating for two weeks, but since you feel bad and have a conscience, you decided to decline it and sorta ruin a friendship bc of it

Which you still did not understand bc it was a simple, dumb dare

Woojin breaks out into a smile and OMGWROUEWEJD

HE SURPRISES YOU AGAIN

S N A G G L E T O O T H

And his smile is so cute omg

You’ve never seen him smile before

Okk and a bit of a time skip

So you and woojin start getting closer after that whole weird event

You start off as friends but obviously you guys have mutual feelings for each other but that’ll be another story for another day

You and yoojung mend your friendship back together

You still don’t know why she was so sensitive about the whole thing

And you have a healthy friendship with Park Woojin

You sit w/him in the classes you have together (which earned some weird rumors and glances the first few days) and you guys eat lunch together

You guys share earbuds

lol

So cute

And yah

I’ll be making a friend/boyfriend!woojin au to explain all the rest

So basically that’s it for badboy!woojin

Tho it wasn’t really a badboy!woojin lol

Will try to make it better like nxt year

#wanna one #park woojin #bulletpoint scenario #wanna one scenarios #park woojin au #badboy!au #park woojin scenario #thx #enjoy #yay

139 notes · View notes

fuck-customers · 7 years

Text

MY WORST JOB SO FAR

let me tell you about the worst job i ever had. (i sent an ask talking about the smell of cigarettes about this place) So summer of 2016 i graduated hs and i was looking for a job before i started college. My birthday is in august so i was 17 at the time so it was hard. finally in july i get a call from the giraffe toy store. i get an interview, the manager tells me i got the job. yay! i thought.i didnt bring my social security and documents so she said to call to give her the info…ok. i call. no answer. i call again at another time…no answer. i call the next day…no answer. i take it upon myself to walk in the summer heat (the only good thing about the job it is a 15 min walk from my house) to bring in the documents to the store. I ask if i could speak to -the manager’s name- and she comes talking to me with all this attitude. “We didn’t do the background check yet so you cant start working!” (she was yelling idk why) Me: “But i didnt even give you my papers yet??” Her: -sighs- OK. Goes into the office gets my papers and then says she will call me for training. I dont know if im wrong, but is it supposed to take THREE WEEKS for a background check? During the first week im calling the store at least twice a day to know when im starting. after that i just said fuck it and started my job search again.

The second week of August the manager has the nerve to leave me a voicemail saying “Hi -my name- your background check went through and i want to know what day your available for training.” I was really desperate at this point, so I called back. Training was basic cashier stuff, easy. The only thing was some of the customers were too much for my social anxiety. Also my coworkers would make fun of how quiet i was? Like how i looked standing at my register (i have rbf at times and dont even know when im doing it) i almost cried at my register because of that (im really sensitive about my appearance) Plus when black friday and christmas time came i was already worn out from studying for midterms/finals. (my first semester grades suffered i partly blame this job) Also, they would have me stay until midnight (2 am on really bad days) to finished stocking returns KNOWING i have a 8:30am class on mondays. (plus i commute which is an hour and have to get ready so i wake up at 6:00)

Since i only worked weekend my shifts were long, which was good, more money. But sometimes i would go an 8-9 hour shift with no break. No one would tell me to go on break and when it got busy i didnt even bother to ask. During christmas time it was the worst. Everyone buying last minute gifts, returning toys, every other customer if we have those damn “hatchimals” in stock. I was glad the holiday season was over. And you know what they did? gave me one day the next week. And you know what ELSE they did? called me saying they didnt need me that day. I know its bad to leave a job unexpectedly but that job ruined my first semester of college experience and made me scared of working anywhere else.

On a happy note i got my gpa up from a 2.7 to a 3.5 and im on the deans list PLUS i got a job at an art store that im enjoying so far :)

#submissions #fuck customers #happy ending #fuck co-workers #fuck coworkers #fuck managers #submission

126 notes · View notes

little-owly · 7 years

Note

Since my own life is kinda falling apart and I'm super stressed can I ask for overwhelmed Yan freaking out about school or something and Anti being all comforting and shiz? I'm sorry for being needy I just usually write to calm myself and I don't even have time for that right now ahhhhh

((aaaaa its cool my dude!! i'm here for ya if you need anything -- ily!! ❤️))anti not hearing from yan in nearly a week and a half. no summoning, no talking, not even a simple "hi". growing worried more and more each day -- assuming everything under the sun, from she's sick to even the dreaded 'she's tired of me...'he takes matters into his own hands and finally appears in her room. preparing himself for anything, he doesn't expect to see it an absolute mess. papers thrown about the floor, books stacked high on the desk near her bed. laptop open with 20 tabs and 3 different writing documents. and yan sitting in front of said laptop. her head resting on her forearms. soundly sleeping away. "yan?" she sleepily lifts her head, feeling anti patting it gently. and immediately freaks out. throwing herself back into her work, "h-how long have i b-been asleep?""i...i barely showed up 2 minutes ago.""what time is i-it?!""6:30"yan gets up from her chair, hair a mess and dark bags under her eyes. hiding her face in her hands, she paces around the room in silent panic. her thoughts racing as anti watches on -- never seeeing her this way. never seeing her so panicked and rushed, always seeing her as cool and collected. he stops as yan sits on her bed and curls in on herself. breathing heavily and crying, succumbing to her stress. "...yan? what's wrong?" anti asks, sitting besides her, rubbing small circles into her back -- something she always loved to have him do before she'd nap.she continues to sniffle and cry, lifting her head, "midterms are next week. i have 4 essays and 3 projects due. i have a speech presentation to give tomorrow that's worth 60% of my grade," she cries, "and i fucked it up by sleeping. i'm going to fail and disappoint you and dad-""yan," anti sighs, laying down besides her, taking on the roll as the big spoon. "deep breaths, okay? you're freaking out, you need to breath and calm down. can you do that for me?"yan cries harder and turns to snuggle herself into anti. his arms wrapping around her, teasing her red and black hair. still tracing circles around her skin. they lay there for almost an hour before yan finally calms down from her anxious stressed thoughts. hiccupping as anti pulls away to wipe her wet and puffy eyes. "listen to me, you're not going to disappoint anyone. you know we care about you too much to. i'm sure warf will at least agree with me on that -- and you know what else he'd agree with me on?" yan lifts her head, staring back with her dark eyes. red and strained from crying."that you're pushing yourself too hard. its not right to be pushing yourself to the point you pass out, to the point your room is like this. you're causing stress for yourself and hoarding yourself up, yan."she snuggles back into him, "im sorry,""you're okay. its just not right seeing you so...overwhelmed and scared. you just need to sit back and breathe, okay? breathe and remind yourself that everything's gonna be okay. allow yourself a break from all this, er, stressing out stuff. you have me and your dad and your friends at school to help you, yeah?"anti smiles as yan looks back up at him. eyes soft, "sorry for freaking out..."he ruffles her hair before kissing the bridge of her nose. "you're okay," he replies, "when was the last time you slept?" "i...only get 3 hours of sleep lately-""yan.""i know, i know, its bad. i won't do it...anymore.""can you spare an hour for a nap? i promise to help you with that speech thing."yan, for the first time, smiles. leaning over to kiss anti. the two giggling and pulling away to laugh, "yeah, i'd like that."anti settles in next to her comfortably under the covers, yan yawning. "if i fail horribly and get anything under a C- can you promise me to kill the instructor?""of course. open casket funeral or closed casket?""closed casket, make him suffer."anti laughs before closing his own eyes, "that's my girl. get some sleep, yan."

#owly.txt #yantics

6 notes · View notes

sending-the-message · 7 years

Text

Cease and Desist to Exist by manen_lyset

I’ve known Krista Wagner since middle school. We quickly became friends, then best friends, and eventually, best friends FOR LIFE. We take that title really seriously. She and I have spoken literally every day since the day we met. If we don’t have classes together, we’ll text all day when the teachers aren’t looking. We’ve always been inseparable. Well, except for that two-week period where we had a fight because she totally tried to flirt with my brother, but that’s neither here nor there. Aside from that little scuffle, we talk all the time. I haven’t heard from Krista in three days. Now, you could say that’s probably because we’re both off on summer break, but I know better. She wouldn’t go this long without texting me. This is all because of that stupid letter she got last week. We didn’t take it seriously, but now I’m really starting to regret it, because I think it’s too late. I don’t think Krista is around anymore, and I’m terrified of what might have happened to her.

I’d just gotten home from the beach when I heard my phone going off. I checked it, and saw a new text message from Krista.

Krista: OMG WTF, I think I’m being sued.

Stacey: LOL wut?

Krista: Im not kiddng. Can I come over?

Stacey: Sure

Krista: B there in 10

I put the phone back in my pocket and started making myself a snack while I waited for Krista. It wasn’t long before she texted me saying she was coming up the driveway. I opened the door to let her in. She was holding an envelope in her hands, and looked like she’d just gotten told we had a midterm she hadn’t studied for.

“What’s up?” I asked.

Krista held the envelope to me. “Do you think this is because of the video I posted last week?”

“Which one?” I asked, as I pulled the paper out of the already torn envelope.

“Duh! The music video! I told you I was going to get in trouble! My parents cannot find out about this or they’ll kill me!” She bit her lip and started pacing around.

I shrugged. “I don’t think they can, like, sue you for that. They’d just remove your video.”

Krista let out an impatient groan. “Just read it. Tell me if you think it’s serious.”

I nodded. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” I said, as I unfolded the letter.

It read:

*FILE #: 1099-0630-5986 * August 5th, 2017 Krista Wagner 245 Maple Street Glens Falls, NY 12801

OBJECT: NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

Dear [Krista Wagner],

You are hereby given notice that [Krista Wagner] has breached Article 13.C of the Copyright Act of 2017. On behalf of the United States Copyright Protection Agency, we ask that you immediately cease and desist all use of the copyrighted materials, by yourself and by third parties.

If we do not receive an adequate response within 10 days of sending this letter, we regret to inform you that actions will be taken to recover damages without further notice to you.

Sincerely,

Operator 506-W13

The letter looked official: it was on this thick, fancy paper with an embossed logo at the top. I’m not sure if anyone here has seen it before, but the logo has like an eagle holding earth in its talons, with the United States colored with our stars and stripes. Does that sound familiar? And on the bottom of the letter, there was a phone number and I think a fax number, too. I couldn’t find an address or a website anywhere.

“I take that back,” I said, “this looks real.”

That was not the answer Krista wanted to hear. She slapped her hands on her cheeks and, like, MEGA-cringed.

“Why are you so worried? It’s probably nothing. Just call them and ask what video they want you to delete. No biggie,” I said, trying to reassure her.

Krista stared at her feet. She wasn’t usually the shy one.

“You do it! I’m too nervous. I don’t know what to say!” she replied.

Ok, so like, normally I’d just tell her to woman up and whatever, right? But last week, I kinda begged her to go buy tampons for me because I was too embarrassed because turns out the cashier’s this really cute guy in my class. I kinda owed it to her.

“Okay,” I said.

I picked up the phone, dialed the number, and waited. I kinda hoped the office would be closed so I could get out of this, but no such luck. I got an automated menu.

“United States Copyright Protection Agency, please input your 12-digit file number now, followed by the pound key.”

“What the fuck is a pound key?” I mumbled.

“Hashtag,” answered Krista.

I scanned her letter quickly, finding her file number at the top. I typed it in and hit hashtag. Another automated message played.

“Thank you, please hold for our next available agent.”

Dull, Beethoven-like music started playing. No freaking way was I going to suffer through that alone. I hit the speaker button and tossed the phone on the table. Krista sat down on the couch next to me and stared at it nervously. The music was kind of soothing, but since it started repeating itself every freaking minute, it got on my nerves real quick.

I snorted. “This sounds just like the music from my doctor’s office. Bet they stole it from there.”

There was a crackling noise on the line, then a woman’s voice’s trickled through the speaker. “We at the United States Copyright Protection Agency pride ourselves in following the letter of the law. I would advise against making such serious allegations.”

My jaw dropped. How long had she been listening in on us?

“Sorry,” I said.

She answered, “It’s alright. What can I do for you today?”

“I-I uhm. I got a letter,” said Krista.

“Yes ‘mam, I can see here that your file number is … 1099-0630-5986,” replied the operator. We could hear her typing something on the other side. “Ah, yes. It appears as though you’ve received a cease and desist letter. I’m afraid Krista Wagner is an infringement of Krista Wagner’s copyright.”

I looked at Krista, then at the phone. “Uh … yeah, okay. But what exactly did she infringe on?”

“Krista Wagner,” replied the operator.

Krista looked at me, and I looked at her. She made a tipping motion with her hands, implying that the operator must have been a little drunk.

“Yeah, we know who did something wrong. We’re asking what she did wrong.” I asked.

“I already told you, ma’am. It says here that the copyrighted material is Krista Wagner,” she answered in a monotone voice.

“What the heck does that even mean?” I replied.

Krista continued, “You mean one of my videos? I’m sorry I stole the music! Can I just take it down?”

The operator paused. We could hear her typing again. “I’m sorry, we’re not aware of copyright infringement on any videos,” she said.

I replied, “Then we’re okay, right? We didn’t break any laws.”

“No. Krista Wagner is infringing on Krista Wagner’s copyright,” said the operator.

I was really confused. “What’s she infringing on?”

The operator replied, “Krista Wagner is infringing on Krista Wagner, as in, the person. We already have another Krista Wagner on file. I’m afraid by continuing to exist, Krista Wagner infringes on her copyright,” she explained.

Krista and I stared at one another in disbelief.

“Are you stupid or something? You can’t copyright a name. A lot of people have the same names, what the fuck are you smoking?” I asked.

“I’m afraid it’s beyond my control. Unless she’s replaced within the next 2 days, she will be forcefully removed.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine at the oddly rehearsed way she spoke, and quickly hit the ‘End Call’ button. Obviously, this had to be a prank. Maybe some weirdo hazing ritual.

“It’s probably just Phillipe and his sis. Doesn’t his dad own a print shop or something? Probably just wanted to screw with you,” I reassured.

Krista looked a bit worried, but forced a smile. “Yeah.”

She still looked kinda rattled, so I invited her to sleep over, but she refused. We talked for a bit and I did my best to try and calm her down. She went home, I had supper and went online for the rest of the night.

That was the last time I saw Krista, but not the last time I heard from her.

We texted the next couple of days and everything seemed fine. Then, three nights ago, she texted me something really freaking weird in the middle of the night.

Krista: U awaek?

I hadn’t been until she texted me.

Stacey: Whats up?

Krista: Im scared omfg.

Krista: Theres someone out my window.

Stacey: A perv?

Kristra: No.

Kristra: Hes in a suit.

Stacey: LOL A fashion perv?

Kristra: Omg theres 3 now

Stacey: ?

Kristra: Theres a van too

Kristra: Im rly scared

Kristra: Theyre getting closer

Stacey: Call ur parents.

Krista: Theyre not home

Stacey: Call the cops

Kristra: OMG theyre banging on the window

Stacey: Call. The. Cops.

I could see she was typing a message, but then the icon disappeared. After two minutes, she still hadn’t replied. I hoped she’d followed my advice and was on the phone with 911. I waited just a little while longer before I tried to call her.

The number you have dialed is currently out of service.

I sat in my bed, alternating between texting and trying to call her, but all my texts came out undeliverable and none of the phone calls got through. There was no way my parents were going to drive my ass down there in the middle of the night, so I eventually changed gears and just tried to, like, convince myself she was pranking me now.

The first thing I did the next morning was try to call her again, but it didn’t work. I went online and tried to message her, but her profile was gone. I know you can, like, kind of lowkey delete it temporarily, so if she was pranking me, I figured that’s what she did. I was sure it wasn’t totally gone. No way she’d delete all her pics and stuff.

I waited a few hours hoping she’d finally message me, but nothing. It’s weird, I kept getting these waves of worry, then I’d convince myself it was fine, then I’d get worried again. I finally just decided I’d go to her house. I got on the bus and stopped on her street. I walked along the sidewalk I’d walked down a bunch of times with her. I slowed when I reached 243. She lived at 245.

245 was gone.

245 Maple Street, for all intents and purposes, no longer existed. I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. I’d been to her house many times before and knew the neighborhood well, but it was … different. The street literally stopped at 243, and the spaces between the homes seemed a tad bit wider, as though to make up for the now missing house. Really, looking at it, you wouldn’t think there was room for another house on the street, but I swear that’s where she lived. I SWEAR I’ve been to that house.

It was so freaking surreal. There’s no way a house can just vanish like that! I started texting all our friends asking if anyone had seen Krista. No one had any idea who I was talking about. Then I noticed our text log was gone. Her number was gone from my phone.

I thought I was going nuts.

I went home and asked my parents, “Do you guys remember Krista?”

Mum couldn’t be bothered to look up from her tablet. “Who, dear?”

“You’ve got to be kidding. Krista! She literally comes here all the time,” I answered desperately.

Dad shrugged. “Honey, you shouldn’t sneak people in here.”

I slammed my palms on the table, “She ate with us last Thursday!”

Mum looked up, leered at me, and then looked down again. “Young lady, that’s no way to talk to your parents!”

I threw my hands in the air, grunted, and rolled my eyes. “Ugh, never mind!”

I stomped up to my room. I didn’t know whether to be frustrated or scared. I actually wondered for a second if, y’know, she was just a figment of my imagination. I’d legit still think I’m crazy if I didn’t find a Polaroid of us in my room. I’m looking at it right now. She was real. She’s always been real.

I spent the next few days combing through everything I own trying to find any trace of Krista, but that Polaroid is all I could find. She’s gone. It’s like she never existed.

And if all this wasn’t bad enough, mom asked me to get the mail earlier. My blood ran cold when I saw the envelope with my name on it. It had the logo of an eagle holding planet earth in its talons. I don’t need to open it to know what it says, and I am freaking terrified.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

0 notes