#neither can a living artist who is in too much pain to work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedianadiary · 11 months

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0023.

What does the shirt you are wearing look like? its a white ribbed tank top with like the little V cut out sort of thing going on What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you? My lack of income is really stressing me out. I have student loan payments coming up and im StReSsEd

How do you stay positive with all that life throws at you? Normally... i would say 99% of the time I remain uber positive. right now though, if im being honest, im really struggling. What quality do you admire most in other people? people who make it a point to make others feel seen, heard, noticed, welcomed, loved. What is the highest level of physical pain you have ever been in? rate 1-10 its been way up there, but like that sort of a rating scale is so... obtuse. it seems so out there. how do you know? what do you relate it to? Do you like your natural hair color? its okay but its a little bit dull. lackluster. Do you think you will dye your hair when you start going gray? who knows. Are you pale right now, or do you have a tan? i have a mild tan. I dont really like any sun exposure if i can help it too much, so i prefer my tans to be jergens. Do you think you look best with a tan? of course. it makes me look healthy What is your favorite app on your phone? idk. im over my phone rn with all the trouble its been causing. How old were you when you got your first smartphone? uhhhhhh in my 20s Do you ever meditate on Scripture? yes and when i tell you, it makes a difference.. i mean it. Are you living a life you want to escape from? or do you love your life? i really take active measures to love my life. there are ABSOLUTELY parts i wish i could escape -- dont we all have those? When was the last time you felt that life was good? ummm.. a date in january probably. Do you have one big mistake that you’ve made that you want to fix? not really, no. Do you wish people would forgive you for your past so you could move on? I don’t think there is anyone im waiting on to forgive me Do you wear green on St. Patrick’s day? I dont make any sort of strong concentrated effort to do so, but i do love celebrations. Are you Irish at all? nope not even a little. Do you pray to God every day? most days yes. I would like to say every single day but im sure i miss some. I like to keep like running dialogue because its extremely important to me What are three things you are currently looking forward to doing soon? hopefully working eventually, uhhh.. i feel like i dont have much to look forward to. its my birthday in a couple days and i legitimately love celebrating it and i feel like the thought alone is about to make me burst into tears. Do you ever dance in the rain? just did yesterday, so yes. Have you ever sat on a rooftop? many times. Do you like to watch talent shows like America’s Got Talent and X Factor? honestly, no not really. it feels sooooo super generated Have you ever tried avocado toast? yea Name three items on your wish list right now. a job with people i like, a secure relationship heading somewhere, health. Are you more talented musically or artistically or neither? artistically. Are you better at English or math? english by far. math is SO bad for me. What were your best subjects in school? psychology, Bible, neuro What was your favorite subject in school? honestly a tie between those three. Have you ever visited a teacher at their home? lol not to “visit” per se, but i babysat their cats while they were out of town so I met up with them to get the low-down of what they needed and where everything was. How many windows are in your bedroom? One set, but two windows in the set if that makes sense. Who was your first roommate? I shared a room with my sister when i was baby thru whennnnnnn... i was like 15 Who was your first best friend (besides a sibling)? brittany, nea, gwen Do you have a sibling who looks like you? my siblings hold no resemblance to one another. Whose was the last funeral you attended or watched? ooo man i had like 5 in two weeks time.. i think the most recent was Nathan’s grandparents. What types of cancer are in your family, if any? skin cancer Do you have big dreams for your future? im trying again.. but man it feels bleak. Do you feel alone? hoooooooooooooooly moly, yes. extremely. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don’t have a calendar really Have you ever seen a double rainbow? Yes. How old will you be on your next birthday? 31 Which nationalities have you been told you look like? (i.e., Asian, Irish) dutch mostly. oh swedish Have you ever had an outstanding library fine? oh definitely growing up lol What book are you currently reading? summer at the lake or something like that Are you poor/broke right now? ding ding ding. holy sensitive topic. Have you ever received any scary, threatening messages on social media? yea, K’s ex used to threaten me a lot on social media. Who was your first kiss? Jay Do you feel you have found your soulmate yet? I have had people where i felt like my soul mixed with theirs. perhaps they just didnt feel the same i dunno Are you single or in a relationship? If you’re single, do you want to be, or do you wish you weren’t? Ever collected shells at the beach? Yeah. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? carve for sure. Who are three of your favorite youtubers to watch? ummm i dunno. im not on youtube ever. i do like jenna & will What year did you graduate high school? 2010 What do you miss about high school? always having fun things to do with people What do you miss about college? the excitement of learning. i just miss that so bad. What color was the house you grew up in? green Growing up, what floor was your bedroom on? top floor What is your birth order in the family? baby of the family. What would your name be if you were the opposite gender? Casey What were you almost named? Emma Does your bedroom have carpet? no. it does have a rug tho so that semi counts right Best camping experience? I’ve never had a positive camping experience What are the top three travel destinations on your bucket list? switzerland, ireland, heck -- europe in general Do you get heartburn? extremely rarely and its pretty much always if i eat right before laying down at night Have you ever used Snapchat? definitely. Did you want to be famous when you were younger? no lol What show did you most want to be on as a kid? ZOOM obvi First celebrity you were obsessed with? vigo mortensen First celebrity crush? ^^^ What was your first favorite stuffed animal? oh man i had MANY. What was something unique about you as a kid? i memorized insanely fast Were you ever goth/emo? nope way too happy all the time Do you want any more piercings? Id love more in my ears but they always close How many tattoos do you have? Zero. Do you want more tattoos? I don’t If you had to get a tattoo, what would you get? If i HAD to then it would likely be something with my future husband Do you mostly write in cursive or print? print usually. Were you ever homeschooled? the whole kit and kaboodle Describe your dream wedding in five words. courthouse, great photographer, foodtrucks & fireworks (ok thats more than 5 words but pretend it isnt) Are you unique? parts of me yes Do you get called a free spirit? lol no not really What day of the week were you born on? friday How are you feeling right now? unsettled. K and i might be ending and i just got contacted by the guy who assaulted me years and years ago.

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awkwarddystopianwarlord · 1 year

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What to be When I Grow Up

From a young age, I knew I would always be poor. I loved too many artistic paths and made peace with the fact that they wouldn’t bring in much of an income. Granted, neither does working a normal people minimum wage job, but I digress.

Fashion designer: I love clothes, I love putting together outfits. I also loved the concept of designing whatever I wanted, whatever I couldn’t usually find in stores. I wanted also, to create styles that fit larger body types or, at the very least, curvy ones. Then I realized I had to know math… which I don’t.

Interior designer: organizing is a desirable pastime for me. I thoroughly fancy fitting items in my house into the perfect spots. I enjoy making livable spaces in less-than-ideal places. I find it satisfying to turn a room into a home. I still dream about doing that with a future home, and I dreamt about doing it for the homes of others. Then I realized I had to know math… which I still don’t.

Manhunt participant: I vaguely knew of the show Manhunt, but I really wanted to just play the game for a living. I wanted to run around in the forest and hide and climb trees and bound over mud and dive into thorny crevasses. I knew this wasn’t exactly a realistic option, but I could still hope.

Actor: I did an acting program after graduating for three months. I had an agent. I went to three auditions, though one was for a magazine shoot and only one was for a show. The agent dropped everyone on his roster to pursue making youtube movies, whatever that means. I decided against moving to Vancouver when I moved out because the pandemic was beginning and I didn’t want to be alone in a city as the world went to shit. I also knew that since it’s so ungodly expensive there, I’d have no time to go to auditions since I’d be stuck working multiple jobs to pay my rent.

Digital artist: I still hope to do this one someday, I just cannot afford an iPad right now. I love drawing and creating and have a lot of interest in animation. Maybe when my brain starts working and my wallet stops crying, it could become a reality.

Author: Again, hoping to do this one someday too. Just need time and a working brain. I have three books in my head, probably around eighty characters now, a show, a soundtrack, and many spin-off side-quest stories within the existing fictional universe. I have all the things in my noggin, just no noggin fuel to get it all out.

Dancer: I was always on and off with this one. I’ve done dance for twenty-one years but I don’t have a lean figure, I like food, and I never really knew if I was good at it or not. In the last year, this occupation’s spark has been rekindled, for now I know I’m good enough, I know people who think I’m worthy, and I know I can keep improving. The only thing holding me back is my deteriorating body, but once I figure out why I’m suffering, dancing is first on the list.

So there you have it, my answers to “what do you want to be when you grow up?” They haven’t changed, I’ve had the same hopes and dreams for more than a decade. I still want to gallivant in the forest, design my own clothes, decorate my house, act in fascinating shows, draw fanart for my unwritten book, and dance away my chronic pain. If I have a high school reunion, I’m curious to see how many of these dream occupations I’ll have crossed off my list.

#ideas #thoughts #childhood #dreams #hopes #adulthood #writing #blog #biweeklyblog

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hoardcloneheadcanons · 2 years

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Kidnap Buddies EP2 - P2

A fic in which intrepid reporter Lois Lane and artistic madman John Doe (who in another timeline would have been the monster known as Joker) have a friendship inspired by unique circumstances.

Updated every other day at 9 pm.

Mentions of Batman x Joker and Superman x Lois

John was tired. Talking about his past made him feel tired.

“Seriously Lois, I’m happy where Bruce and I are now- but it took us a mess and a half to get there. By all accounts it shouldn’t have worked. The only reason it did work is because we didn’t know what normal was. And neither of us had anyone else who was willing to put up with our issues. We ended up leaning on each other for everything, nearly damaging all our external relationships and being messily codependent. That… shouldn’t be how anything starts. You should have more than one main person, and you should absolutely feel like you can leave a situation that is chaotic and painful.

We were both in bad places and needed some room to grow and somebody to do it with. We kind of… grew into each other.

The point is you should not follow my path and you probably shouldn’t take my relationship advice. Half of it was just getting lucky that neither of us ever crossed a relationship ending line- even though we toed it. The other half was being too stubborn to give up once we started.”

“Well I already have that half down. I haven’t been able to let go of anything and I’m not going to start now.”

“You do. It worries me a little. It’s also probably why I like you so much.”

“And honestly steps 1 through 3-“

Lois put her fingers up, mimicking John’s motions from earlier.

1. Feel alone, and have free time

2. Get bored

3. Get into daytime TV and gossip magazines to cope

Those just sound like my high-school and college experience. Although I probably watched more news networks than daytime TV. ”

“You are not the first to connect your high school experiences to my asylum ones. Are those really so similar?”

“They’re honestly closer than you’d expect. Someday we’re going to have a movie night with a whole bunch of coming of age stories, and I’ll tell you how they compare to my high school experience, and you tell me how they relate to asylum living.”

“That sounds wonderful and I look forward to it”

Lois waved it off and kept going.

4. Choose the sullen guy who sticks out

“ I’m pretty sure I’ve done that multiple times and it’s gone just- fantastically every time. “

“See, my advice is terrible.”

“Nope- not done, you gave me a whole list and I’m going to go through it. What was step 5 again -eh.

5. Research the guy to find out every way he’s warped.

I do that with every guy I meet online. This is the city and I need to know if they’re a creep or not”

“Find any non-creeps yet?”

“-ehh the search is ongoing.

Lois’s fingers kept going up. She was on a roll and John was worried it was going to lead her off a cliff.

6. ‘Convince yourself you’d be friends and he’d understand you.’

I don’t think I’ve done since I was 12 and really into pop-bands. Instead every detail I find out about a guy convinces me that he’ll annoy me or I’ll annoy him. I pretty much have the exact way the relationship will fail planned out in my brain before the date starts and I’m ready to run at the first sign of danger.”

“Honestly a great tactic for staying alive. If only you applied it to the rest of your life.”

“Hey, I research stories knowing that they're dangerous, but that the end report I give will be worth it, and that the truth needs to get out. The point is. Your steps aren’t that crazy. I’ve done 1-5 and kinda six. As best as I’m going to get with six.

Now I just need to skip to step 7 and 8 - which was….

They said it at the same time

“ 7. Manipulate circumstances so he’s reliant on my very specific set of skills”

8. Save his life and get more obsessed with him.”

“Right, I just need a guy who's- desperate for good PR, or needs something investigated or is new to the reporting business. Easy-peasy. And with the danger I get into there should be plenty of opportunities for me to save his life. If I don’t get more obsessed with him after that then there’s no use for the rest of the steps..”

She stopped talking and relaxed her shoulders. She’d finally heard the words coming from her mouth.

“Ugh I really sound out of it don’t I? That would be super toxic and just- a weird power dynamic. Especially if I planned that out that way. Don’t answer that. I know that was your point.”

John looked pointedly at her from over his smoothie.

“It just feels like I almost have to do something crazy to get a decent guy around here. I feel like I’ve already tried all the sane options.”

“Doubtful. You haven’t asked Superman out.”

“Asking out an alien in tights isn’t a sane solution. Besides that’s unprofessional. I interview him frequently. That’s breaking journalistic integrity.”

“Of course it isn’t sane. It’s coming from me. But it also indicates you haven’t tried everything yet. And I assure you sleeping with your story is not as insane or unhealthy as following my old playbook. Besides, aren't you at least a teensy bit curious? I get it, you’ve already told me you’re not interested in him. But after the amount of times he’s saved you, aren't you a little bit curious if he’s interested in you?”

Lois leaned away and crossed her arms.

“Look, he’s a boy scout, I wouldn’t want to lead the big guy on.”

John choked on his drink. And after a coughing fit, spat out.

“You KNOW?! You know Metropolis’s savior has a crush on you and you haven’t done anything about it?!”

#Lois Lane #John Doe #DC Comics #Superman #Batman #batman: the enemy within #John getting real sick of Lois's shit #Bruce Wayne #Kidnap Buddies #Fluff #Shipper on Deck #Lois Lane x Superman #Lois Lane x Clark Kent

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the-hidden-pages · 3 years

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Misread Affections - Laszlo Kreizler/Fem!Reader SMUT

I started at midnight. I had 0 words. It’s 4:30am. I have 4643 words because I have fallen deeply for Doctor Laszlo Kreizler. Forgive me for this.

Synopsis: With all your history together, you and Doctor Kreizler believe you understand each other. Yet when you believe him to be infatuated with Karen Stratton, and he believes you to have affection for Marcus Isaacson, you’re both stunned when you find yourselves to be proven wrong.

Warnings: NSFW. Desk Sex. Dirty Talk. Patient-to-Friend-to-Lover. Definite depression and general self-loathing.

SPOILERS FOR THE SECOND SEASON!!!!!!

You had always admired the man Doctor Laszlo Kreizler was.

He championed those who could not champion themselves. He worked tirelessly to understand the minds of criminals. To those very same criminals, and many others that lived as outcasts to society, he would offer kindness and understanding. At his best he was beyond intelligent and, daresay, sweet.

At his worst, he was ruthless, and his own self-loathing would have him come across as unempathetic most days. While preaching to others to care for himself, he would often forego his own care. While offering an ear and a receptive mind, he would refuse to offer himself the same.

You knew this within mere days of knowing Doctor Kreizler. And such facts made you rather fond of him.

A fondness that was not helped by his handsome build, his dark locks, his scrutinizing gaze.

And yet no part of you could justify ever acting upon this fondness.

You had come to him both as a patient and a colleague. You had always been aware of a darkness within yourself, ever since you were a child. This darkness had only grown, too often all-consuming, leaving you. a dysfunction wreck of a human being. However, you had an obligation to keep going, a promise you had sworn to your sister to continue your own existence. So, exist you did.

While your family’s fortune wasn’t enough to send you to Harvard, like the Doctor himself, it did allow for you to be a reasonably educated woman of the times. A deep fascination in understanding your own darkness led you to the work of alienists, and eventually to the work of Doctor Kreizler.

While you couldn’t often justify breaking societal rules to such an extent, you found yourself motivated enough to call upon the Doctor with a proposition – should he aide you in understanding your own illness of the brain, you would offer any services you could to the Kreizler Institute.

You could tell he was curious of you. A woman of your standing did not often make such demands with such authority, nor so blatantly admit to her own illnesses. He quickly agreed, eager to study why you considered yourself so damaged, and happy to take on an extra set of hands with the children he looked after.

Over time, you begun to slip effortlessly into Doctor Kreizler’s life.

You met the likes of Cyrus and Stevie, along with many others that worked at the Institute. You were then blown away by the strength within Miss Sara Howard, and the pure, undiluted love that Mister John Schuyler Moore could show others. You were even called upon on several occasions to be a fresh set of eyes, the murders of young boy prostitutes and kidnappings of babies not deterring you, to the surprise and reluctant joy of the Doctor.

And as Doctor Kreizler studied you, you studied him.

You slowly learned of all the emotion he kept hidden behind the façade of professionalism. The kindness, the love, the anger, the fear. While he showed none of these most days, occasionally a concoction of such feeling would burst in an overwhelming outpour.

In offering him a platonic safe space, a place for him to talk through such outbursts should he wish, he in turn aided you.

The darkness you felt for so long began to subside some days, and between the efforts of him and a passing remark from John, you learned of an outlet for your darker thoughts – writing.

While expressing your own emotions and turmoil did not come easy, you found it far simpler when written down on paper, as opposed to spoken aloud to a judging room.

Doctor Kreizler gifted you a beautiful leather-bound journal a mere day after this revelation, with the request that you record your thoughts. He promised he would not read it unless you requested him to as an act of therapy.

For many days, you allowed him to read any thoughts that came to mind.

Thoughts of blood, of death, of pain and anger. Thoughts of a stolen childhood, of worthlessness, of longing.

Many days when he read your pages, you would be silently crying as he did, fearful of his judgement. But it never came.

Instead, he would close the book silently, and offer you professional advice.

One particularly rough day, in which your narrative was beyond vicious to you, he closed the book before finishing, and offered you something you didn’t expect – an embrace.

He hugged you so tightly, that for once…

Your inner monologue ceased.

His own, however, raged on.

How could you think so lowly of yourself, he wondered? While he could understand mindsets built from trauma, he couldn’t help but wish you could see yourself through his own eyes. Your empathy when you cared for the children in the Institute. Your intelligence when conversing with Miss Howard. Your artistic delight when laughing with John. And the perspective, the warmth you offered such a broken man such as himself.

Neither of you knew, in that exact moment, that the other was realizing the fondness you both held in your hearts for each other.

And neither of you knew how truly broken the other felt at their core.

Two souls, believing themselves to be undeserving of love, finding it in their hearts for the other.

When the beautiful, cunning Doctor Karen Stratton entered the picture, you asked Doctor Kreizler to refrain from reading your journal.

He was hurt by this, but profession and courtesy claimed that he could not show it.

You began to withdraw from him, placing your entire focus on the case of the stolen babies and your focus on the children in the Institute. Kreizler, in his own difficulties of potentially losing the said Institute, took notice of your own withdrawal from your sessions, but held enough hope that you had found stability to care for yourself. You still conversed with Sara, you smiled with John. You had even been introduced to the Isaacsons, and he had wondered if you had taken a liking to Marcus.

You deserved a young man such as him, he told himself, heart heavy. A whole, young man with enough strength to support you.

And on the night of Marcus’ death, he believed it to be confirmed.

He found you alone, in his study where you so often had your sessions with him. You were curled inwards on yourself, clutching your journal as though it were your lifeline, sobbing uncontrollably.

He moved to console you, arms holding you tightly.

“It’s all too much,” you choked out, unable to articulate much more.

Doctor Kreizler nodded, waiting for you to be able to go on.

You regained some breath with difficulty. “I just…I can’t stand to lose a friend. Not after everything else lately.”

“I know how difficult it can be, to lose one you love…” Kreizler began, not noticing how your sobs stopped in confusion. “After Mary, I…Well I swore I would never again…The point is, I-“ he stopped short.

You had spluttered out a laugh.

Your hand covered your mouth immediately, noticing what had just happened. You immediately moved to cover it up, wiping away your tears and standing up away from him. “No, no, Doctor. Heavens, Marcus…well, he was loved but, I saw…I see the Isaacsons as brothers I never had. He was dear to me but…not in the sense I suspect that Mary was to you.”

“I…see…” Doctor Kreizler pulled back, sitting in his study chair as he gazed at you. “Apologies, I seem to have misread your relationship. Nonetheless, his death has greatly affected you, as it has all of us. I suspect it will be a very difficult grieving process, but…” he manages a soft, rare smile that warmed your heart. “We will endure it together, as we have these cases.”

“Will we?” your voice grew empty as your thoughts swirled.

He titled his head, unsure of where this was leading. You gathered your courage to question him.

“Rumour has it, Doctor Stratton has asked you to join her in Vienna. I wonder if you’ll go.”

Silence falls over the room.

Laszlo couldn’t understand what this had to do with anything. Your crying, your distress over Marcus. What did his leaving have to do with any of your distress?

“You’re greatly upset by something,” he eventually said, gazing at you with a more analytical eye than before. “I’m afraid you give me too much credit, if you think I know the specifics of it.”

“I-“ you stopped, clearing your throat as you choked up. Your knuckles turned white on your journal’s edges, hands shaking. “Doctor Kreizler-“

“It’s been months since we’ve known each other,” he interrupts, “and we haven’t held a session together in nearly five weeks. Would it pain you to call me Laszlo? Are we not…friends?”

You gaped at him, but his face remained unreadable.

You shake your head. “Yes, it…it would pain me. It would pain me a great deal, Doctor – it does pain me a great deal to hear you call me a friend when…”

“When what?” he prompts you sharply, and you inhale quickly.

“When I feel I’ve been dishonest with you, unkind to you…” had the room not been dead still, Laszlo might have missed the next words you whispered. “I feel I’ve been perverse to you.”

If he was confused, he didn’t show it. And you were talking now, the words spilling out, a cascade unable to end.

“I feel as though…had Marcus not…died…tonight, I might never have done this. But then my mind, it began spinning so quickly I couldn’t stop it, and I couldn’t help but imagine countless scenarios in which Libby, in which the Dusters, in which…well, in which any number of causes might take your life as well. In which you might die before…before I can confess…” You huff, your words getting caught once again. With a determined move, your arm shot out to pass your journal to him, and Kreizler takes note of a particular page being creased.

He looks up at you, but you don’t meet his eye.

“I’ve marked where I want you to start reading. Just…go from there. Inform me when you’re finished.”

You walk over to the window, desperate to be distracted, as Doctor Kreizler opens the book and reads at your request.

He can’t comprehend what he’s reading at first.

While he had grown accustomed to your twisted perception of yourself, he hadn’t realized just how ruthless the self-loathing could take you. Endless doubt of your friendships with the team, with your position as a caretaker, in your abilities to be a friend. And as words continue, he realizes your doubts in being a partner, a lover.

If he grows flustered at the words he reads, he’s determined not to show it to you.

He reads your envy of women like Sara Howard, able to move forward with such strength and certainty, and of Karen Stratton, so brash, so forward. Your envy is strong towards her, in her abilities to understand sexuality, passion, human desire, and in…

In her connection to himself.

His eyes widen as your own ramblings seem to uncover a truth you hadn’t explored before – your attraction to the Doctor that had aided you, offered you employment. The pure taboo of such affections, yet your inability to stop it. Your adoration, your admiration for the intimidating, raw man that he was. How you felt unworthy, that you would hold him back, that he deserved a woman as delightful as Doctor Stratton, a woman who could stimulate him academically, that could pleasure him physically. How you felt so deeply ashamed of harbouring such elicit fantasies of the man that had been nothing but kind to you. How you loved him so deeply it made you want to die, because you would never be deserving –

You heard the journal snapping shut, and you couldn’t bring yourself to face the Doctor, knowing what he must’ve read, dreading what he must now be thinking.

The silence lasted far longer than you would’ve liked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak.

“I find myself taken aback more often than I like,” Kreizler’s voice shatters the still air. “I believe myself to be so wise, so understanding of the mind, and yet I come across a mind such as yours that I…I truly cannot fathom how you think what you think.”

“I’m sorry,” you start, voice breaking as tears begin to flow again.

You nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a hand on your own. You don’t dare to turn around, frozen like a rabbit having been sniffed out by a hound.

“You think me to be attracted to Doctor Stratton, am I correct?”

You nod. Of course, he was. Was it not obvious?

“Karen and I are colleagues, and friends, should I be too bold to assume so. I can recognize that she is a physically beautiful woman, yes, and I’m sure some day she will make a man a very happy husband, should she wish. But her and I have a kinship, a partnership, not unlike what I believe you and Marcus might have had, that I too misinterpreted as love.”

You sniff, closing your eyes tightly. What was he trying to tell you?

Doctor Kreizler spins you around slowly, leading you to face him.

“I do not harbour half the affection in my heart for Doctor Stratton as I do for you.”

You freeze. “Doctor-“

“Please,” he reaches up to cup your face, wiping away several of the tears that had fallen. “Please call me Laszlo. You are not the only one to have an epiphany after the loss of our friend, my dear. If you are being so honest with me, I feel it only right to offer you the same.”

“Laszlo…” you whisper, meeting his eyes for the first time since he read your words. His heart breaks with the pain within them. “How can you do this? Look at me, hold me, when you see how broken I am? I’m undeserving-“

“You would choose to love, to care for a cripple, a shell of a man in the eyes of society. A man who has too often neglected the children he cares for, often spat in the face of those he dares to call his friends. If either of us is undeserving of the other’s love, my dear, it’s me.”

Your brows furrow angrily, reaching up to mirror him, cupping his own face with both of yours. “Laszlo Kreizler you stop that right now, I won’t hear any more of…you’re smiling. How could you be smiling?”

He leans into one of your hands affectionately, a rare, dashing smile lighting up his features in a way you cherished to see, despite the circumstances. “Perhaps we are both wrong. Perhaps…perhaps we need each other, to use each other’s eyes and hearts to understand who we truly are. We both have such lowly opinions of ourselves but…perhaps it was meant to be.”

Your own smile was beginning to form, despite your best efforts, as your brain’s screaming of all that could go wrong began to quieten.

“I hesitate to believe in fate, Doctor…” you trail off, taking a step closer, your heart filled with hope and eyes filled with wonder. “I hesitate further to admit to needing someone, and yet…my brain is only ever kind and quiet when I’m around you.”

Laszlo’s weaker arm rests on your hip, while the thumb of the hand caressing your face moves to trace your chin. “My language is not as…poetic, as yours, my dear,” he confesses, and you both chuckle, “but I very much would like to kiss you, with your permission.”

“Laszlo, you could do anything to me,” you confess, reaching forward to finally meet his lips.

It’s messy, and uncoordinated, but any lack of experience the pair of you may have is made up for by the pure, electric eagerness that overtakes the both of you. You’re both exploring, testing each other, in some give and take dance that does not seem to quell any emotions within you, instead quite the opposite.

You could kiss him forever, you quickly realize.

But by some cruel twist of fate, you have to pull away, air taking priority.

You stare wildly at him as he breathes heavily, eyes darker than you had ever seen, with a sense of uncertainty that you hadn’t ever seen about him before.

A teasing smile finds its way onto your face, as you can’t help but test your luck.

“How far, exactly, did you read in my book?”

He blinks at you a couple of times, uncertain of your line of questioning. “I read of your jealousy, of your shame, I don’t…I don’t believe I finished it all, I found I had to address the issue before I continued –“

“Would you like to know what else was in there?”

Laszlo appeared flustered as you led him back to his plush chair, and you knelt down between his legs to pick up the book that had fallen to the ground. You don’t offer it to him, however, instead putting it aside.

“My dear, I don’t –“

“I ask you to stop me, if my advances are too…forward to you, Laszlo.”

You slowly rise from your place, moving to lift your skirts so you might position yourself above the Doctor, straddling him in his chair. As if on its own accord, his good hand rises to situate on your waist tightly. You gently grasp his weaker hand, his “broken wing”, and lift it to your mouth, delicately kissing the palm, each finger.

Laszlo mutters your name, transfixed by your mouth’s movements.

“I would love every part of you,” you begin, continuing your assault of affection as you whisper against the part of him, he views as most broken. “I would care for you in every capacity in which I’m capable. I would strive to be deserving of you in every which way.” You drop his hand and lean forward, hands grasping the back of the chair as you hold his gaze. “I would have you claim every part of me, I would have your marks for the world to see, if you wished. I’ve dreamt of you and I in the most compromising positions that I dare not say, on nearly every surface of your study, my bedroom, the Institute. I would give you every single piece of me, Laszlo, every ounce of my attraction. I would give you my darkest sins and my deepest pleasure, if you would allow me too. Please, Doctor Kreizler, let me please you.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting from your confession.

Perhaps you wondered if he would push you away, exclaiming that your desires were too much, your words too sinful, and that he would cease associations with you immediately. Perhaps you thought he would scold you for being too wanton, too unbecoming of a woman of your standing. Perhaps you hoped the worst that would happen is he would kiss you softly and instruct that you both go to bed in separate rooms, that more carnal needs could be discussed at a later date.

Never in your wildest dreams did you expect to feel Laszlo shift and harden beneath you, eyes growing so dark they were nearly completely black, and have him reach his hand to curl around the back of your neck.

And you certainly didn’t expect the deep growl that escaped him as his lips, tongue, and teeth clashed with yours frantically, animalistically.

Neither of you had experience, you both knew this.

But you both knew what you wanted, what you needed, and that would be enough to motivate you.

You both took what you could, Laszlo leaving your lips to reach what he could of your neck, lavishing it with lips and tongue. He explored expertly, quickly learning what you liked based upon the quickening of your breath, of your pulse. What was left of his analytical mind was fascinated by the chain reaction of events, how you spurred each other on.

When he nipped at your ear, your hips rolled uncontrollably, and a rough groan escaped him unconsciously.

Fascinating indeed.

He panicked slightly when you stood, wondering if he had stepped too far. The panic raised as you strode across his study, heading quickly to the door.

“Wait, my dear, I-“

“Calm down, Laszlo,” you hushed him, and he heard a loud click of the door locking from where he sat. “I merely don’t wish to be interrupted. If this is still what you wish.”

He leans back in his chair, breathing heavily, observing you as you stand once again before him. “I should be asking you what you want, my darling.”

You grin, shaking your head. “Was my speech before not enough for you to know what I want, Doctor Kreizler? Can you not infer exactly what I want from you from the writings in my journal? It’s your turn to share, else I might just leave you like this.”

His good hand involuntarily juts forward, grasping yours desperately.

“Don’t you dare.”

You giggle, and he smiles at the sound.

“Then, tell me what you wish, Doctor.”

“I wish…” he trails off, watching as your hands move upward to begin slowly undressing yourself.

“Yes?” You prompt him teasingly, continuing your motions. “Don’t mind me.”

Laszlo shifts in his chair, erection clearly visible by the bulge in his slacks. “I…I wish…” his voice trails off again as his eyes take in every inch of your skin that’s uncovered. “I wish to be with you in every manner. Intellectually, spiritually, physically. I wish to connect with you in a way I never will with any other living creature on this Earth. I wish to feel you around me, to bring you to climax. I wish to fill you, to be yours, to fuck you, to make you Mrs. Kreizler…”

He stops at that, only becoming aware of his own ramblings you straddled him once again, completely nude.

The faintest voice in his head wondered if you made him stupid, but it was silence as his eyes took you in completely.

“You are the most gorgeous specimen I’ve ever been graced with seeing, my love.”

You pull him in to a languid kiss, gently tasting each other as your hand travels down his chest.

“You speak of love, of my being Mrs. Kreizler…” you start, almost losing your train of thought as you feel him twitch beneath you, your hips rolling to meet his. “Another day I’ll ask you to remind me of those words. But for now…” you lean forward, mouth grazing his ear, causing him to shiver. “I need you to fuck me, Doctor Laszlo Kreizler.”

For all of your faith in him, you don’t expect the next feat of strength.

With only his good arm he manages to lift the pair of you from the chair, quickly placing you upwards and onto the desk of his own study, mindless of the papers underneath you, of any others that might be in the building as you shriek in surprise.

He captures your mouth with his, more forceful, captivating, as his good hand explores your form, grasping both of your breasts before heading downwards to the warmth between your thighs. His fingers collect some of the wetness that had escaped your folds and examines it with an almost mocking scientific fascination.

“Is this all for me, my darling?” he questions, and you find yourself at a loss for words as he curiously lifts his fingers to his mouth, his tongue slowly tasting you off of them.

“Fuck, Laszlo,” you whisper, reaching forward to pull him in for a kiss again as he chuckles darkly against you.

His teasing ends when your hands wander downward, now working at the buttons of his slacks frantically, your palm grazing across his length through his pants, causing him to gasp.

“My God,” he pants out, and you pull him out of his slacks. He’s hard, warm, rigid in your palm, with veins and girth that you hadn’t imagined in any of your fantasies, but was now all you could imagine filling you, ending that emptiness that you felt.

“Please,” you whimper, and he gently removes your hand, before lining his cock up with your entrance.

He meets your eyes, checking one last time to ensure this was what you wanted.

“Laszlo, please –“your begging is cut short as he breaches you slowly, pushing his full weight forward as the pair of you connect.

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt.

A tantalizing combination of pleasure and pain, your mind repeating an endless mantra of “Laszlo”, which you realize, when he’s fully inside, flush against you, that you’re muttering out loud.

“Oh, my love,” he breathes, his damaged arm lightly resting on your thigh, his other gripping your hip so tightly you knew there would be marks.

“You feel so right,” you mindlessly breathe, and you can’t help but moan at the feeling of him twitching inside you at the comment. You would remember that he likes praise, but…

“I don’t know that I will last long, my love,” Laszlo warns, his voice low, gravely, warm against your neck as he buries his face into it, pressing kisses into the skin of your shoulder.

It crosses your mind that you’re completely nude and he’s fully clothed, but the thought fills you with warmth rather than disappointment.

“Nor will I, but this will happen again, won’t it?” you question, a hint of doubt crossing your voice.

The Doctor silences it immediately, kissing you deeply. “Every night, every hour if you would let me, my darling. You are so wonderful…”

“Then please, fuck me Laszlo. I want to cum, I want you to fill me, I – oh!”

The first snap of his hips was relentless, and it was only more intense from there.

He was strong, sure of his movements, chasing his own pleasure and encouraging yours as much as he could, pressing kisses into your neck, your breasts, your lips, his good hand finding your hair tightly. Broken moans left you as dark, rasping breaths escaped him, and it was all too soon before you felt your peak approaching, familiar with the sensation from lonely nights with your own hand curiously working against yourself.

“Laszlo, Doctor Kreizler, I-“ at your moaning of his title, something in him snapped, and his teeth sunk into where your neck met your shoulder.

A deep cry left you as you reached your climax, a white-hot rush waving over you.

As your cunt clenched around him, Laszlo lost himself, growling his native German tongue as he lost his rhythm, heat filling you as he came.

You two didn’t have much time to come down from your highs, as the door to his home could be heard opening and closing from the floors below.

“Doctor Kreizler?” Sara Howard could be heard calling.

Your eyes wide, you rushed to put yourself back together, close wrinkled, roughly thrown back on and your hair being a wreck. You hoped you could pass it off as merely the result of a rough day, an intense mental break.

You turned to Kreizler, who was a picture of perfection, seeming to not be rattled by the events before…almost.

“Back to the case…?” he trailed off, his voice filled with uncertainty, and you smiled fondly at the terribly awkward, intelligent man before you.

You step forward and kiss him softly, the warmth between your legs and bruises on your thigh a reminder of what had just occurred.

“Back to the case. We can continue our escapades when it’s all over, Doctor.”

He chuckles, confidence returning to him as he nods. “I look forward to it.”

#x reader smut #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler imagine #Laszlo kreizler fanfic #smut #godpleaseletmerest #Ineedsleep

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kaisooficrec · 3 years

Text

Ultimate Top & Dom Kim Jongin Fest : Round 2 (2021)

Mmmh (don't you worry) Don't just sculpt me, please

The ULTKJI Fest is back again with delicious top/dom Kai fics. We have selected the KaiSoo stories for you here, but you can check more on the fest’s Twitter account!

#1 : Kiss Me Meow

Genre: Smut, Friends-with-benefits Length: 11,131 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Dirty talk, Daddy kink, Begging, Semi-Public sex Summary: Kyungsoo and Jongin agreed on being fuck buddies. While Jongin is such a dominant taking him apart in the sheets, every time he comes to his flat he becomes a fluff ball cooing and petting his cat who seems to like him a lot. Maybe so much they meow for attention and sadness every time he is about to leave and Kyungsoo is beginning to question his own feelings.

#2 : I Heard You Got Lucky

Genre: Rom-Com, Age Swap, College!AU, Virgin!Kyungsoo, Smut Length: 27,369 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Dirty talk, mentions of fisting Summary: What started as a small lie in order to save himself from his friend’s wrath led Do Kyungsoo to be shoved into the spotlight when rumors started popping out that he slept with Kim Jongin, the campus heartthrob. Things, of course, escalated to where he was no longer in control of his own narrative. To top it off, he didn't even know who Jongin was!

#3 : Loving you softly

Genre: PWP, Established Relationship, BDSM (heed the tags!) Length: 5,392 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Soft BDSM, Sensation play, Featherplay, Riding crops, Prostate milking, Sex toys, Shibari, Flogging, Restraints, Rimming, Aftercare Summary: To say that Kyungsoo is excited is the lie of the century. What he feels is beyond that. It’s been too long since they last had a whole afternoon free to spend solely on each other.

#4 : Fixing a Broken Fairytale

Genre: Depression, Mental Health Issues, Angst with happy ending Length: 12248 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Depression, mental health issues, mentions of molestation and rape Summary: Jongin is the tall and handsome prince Kyungsoo has always dreamed about. He may not be perfect but they balance each others weaknesses. To Jongin, the elder is his superhero and strength, to Kyungsoo the younger was his happiness.But what if one day the beautiful dream for Jongin and Kyungsoo fall apart, will they be able to fix the broken fairytale?

#5 In The Middle

Genre: Royalty, kinks Length: 10105 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Jongin/Kyungsoo/Kai, twins without twincest (Read the tags!) Summary: Day after day Kyungsoo is subjected to suitors asking for his hand. Usually he doesn't spare them a glance But it isn't until he meets twin Princes Jongin and Kai that he finds himself taking another look

#6 : Lil.O.Lait

Genre: Omega verse Length: 8103 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Lactation kink, nursing kink, omega/human Summary: Got Milk?

#7 : Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)

Genre: Light BDSM Length: 6946 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Sex club, innocent character Summary: Kyungsoo is a sheltered only child who’s never had any experience regarding sex before. That is until Baekhyun convinces him to enter a club—one which turns out to be sex club where he meets a stranger named Kai. The thin line between pleasure and pain seems to disappear as Kai brings both to Kyungsoo’s bedroom.

#8 : flight of the stars

Genre: Daddy issues, Roommates Length: 17880 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Homophobic slur Summary: Kim Jongin, born January 14th, 1994 in Seoul, South Korea. Stuck with a hopeless crush on his childhood friend - all because he was born one year too late.

#9 : Don't just sculpt me, please

Genre: Friends with benefits Length: 3269 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Flexible sex Summary: Jongin is an artist working mainly with clay and stone to create an explicit homoerotic art. He needs a model for his new collection.

#10 : Lean On Me

Genre: Strangers to lovers, roommates, camboy!AU Length: 13019 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : crossdressing Summary: Kyungsoo is a popular camboy who enjoys doing cross-dressing during his live broadcasts. Now that he has a new roommate, he doesn’t know when to do his streams. What Kyungsoo doesn’t know is that Kim Jongin, his new hot roommate, is a fan.

#11 : How about your vocal cords on my cock.

Genre: A/B/O dynamics, Enemies to lovers, Rockband Length: 9418 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Summary: Omega Kyungsoo is the flirtatious vocalist of his band The Dolls while Alpha Kai is the hottie guitarist of the rival band Skin. During a festival, both bands attended and they couldn't contain their hate any longer, until ...

#12 : Mmmh (don't you worry)

Genre: Canon, Roleplay Length: 7197 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : slight exhibitionism, spit as lube Summary: Kyungsoo has his own reasons for staying up late just to pratice the choreography of "Mmmh" in the solace of EXO's dance practice room. However, his plans for the night did not include Jongin himself unexpectedly barging in.

#13 : A Reason, A Season; and A Lifetime

Genre: Alpha/Human, Soulmates Length: 15845 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : threesome F/M/M, armpit kink, slight dubcon Summary: Sometimes things do not make sense until the very end.

#14 : Bulletproof

Genre: Enemies with benefits, Assassins!au Length: 3427 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : Summary: One minute they're shooting bullets at each other, the next they're shooting cum together. Jongin and Kyungsoo are enemy assassins who found pleasure and love between gunfire and blood.

#15 : take your time with this love (say you're mine forever)

Genre: Alpha/Human, High school!au, College!au Length: 25768 w Rating: R Kinks/Warnings : A/B/O verse, virgin!Kyungsoo Summary: jongin is his best friend. at the age of 17, jongin is destined to be an alpha, while for kyungsoo, he is neither alpha nor omega.kyungsoo realizes he isn't really envious of jongin for becoming an alphait gets painful for him because he catches feeling for his best friend.and that he realizes, he would watch jongin gets an omega partner for himself, getting the one --- that would never be him.

#kaisoo #utkji #ultimate top kji 2021 #kink:top kai #kink:bdsm #kink:flogging #kink: toys #kink:ds #kink: lactation

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mistressemmedi · 3 years

Text

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

#maneskin #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #i'm off to drink some wine lol

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p-artsypants · 3 years

Text

A Gift from Mr. Blanc

Marinette's worst nightmares were of Chat Blanc. But that's all they were: nightmares. Until one day where in the stone cold light of day, Chat Blanc walked into the classroom, with a gift in hand. "This will make you love me again, My Lady."

Ao3 | FF.net

Everyone is on this Chat Blanc train, so I bought a ticket and got a window seat.

“Yes, Timestreamer, find me the best Akuma ever created!” Shadowmoth raised a manic fist as the images appeared before him.

The woman who was once Nathalie Sancoeur stood next to him, now transformed into an Akuma with thick glasses, which almost looked like VR goggles.

In a fit of artist’s block, Gabriel Agreste had vented that he had run out of ideas for Akuma. He had to keep going, and the villains couldn’t slack less Ladybug and Chat Noir get the upper hand.

To which Nathalie had said, “well, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel.”

She had meant it to be cheeky, but he took inspiration from it in a whole new way. Why invent a new villain when one from a different time is sure to work? Timetagger, an Akuma from the future, had seemed to almost win. Perhaps there were more like him out there.

He only needed someone to see the timelines so he could pick his champion.

So here they were, scanning through endless time streams, looking at massive successes, and massive failures. There really was no telling which one would do the job, but unless Timestreamer’s Akuma was taken or, heaven forbid, the Butterfly was taken, they could send villain after villain after villain.

Yes, this was a good plan!

“That one!” Shadowmoth pointed, the stark white catching his gaze.

“That one?” Timestreamer asked, feeling unease looking into his soulless blue eyes.

“That has to be Chat Noir’s akumatized form. He’s perfect.”

Following orders, Timestreamer summoned the Akuma forward.

From the static images appeared a grainy figure, slowly solidifying into a solid white boy. His expression was one of confusion and disorientation.

“Chat Blanc, I am Shadowmoth,” he began.

Immediately, Chat Blanc snarled. “You! You monster!” And he leapt.

Suffice to say, neither Timestreamer or Shadowmoth were prepared for a full on fight this early in the conversation.

Shadowmoth did have training in fighting, and successfully blocked the incoming swipe at his throat with his arm. However, the claws cut right through his suit and into his flesh, making him cry out in pain.

The next swipe hit true, and knocked the butterfly Miraculous from its place on his collar.

Chat Blanc then plucked the Peacock from his lapel while Gabriel Agreste tried to put pressure on his grievous wounds.

“Why?” Asked Gabriel, “don’t you know I made you? Don’t you know I can give you everything you want?”

Chat Blanc didn’t respond, only snapped the goggles off of a shell shocked Timestreamer. He then touched the black butterfly with his claw, and it crumbled into dust.

Nathalie ran to Gabriel and looked at his wounds. “You need to go to a hospital.”

“No!” He protested, pushing her away. “Answer me, boy! You’re easily the most powerful Akuma ever made. Once you get the Miraculous of Ladybug and this timeline’s Chat Noir, we can make the ultimate wish! Whatever your heart’s desire, it’s yours!” He reached a hand out to the boy.

Chat Blanc, who Gabriel knew as the exuberant and emotional Chat Noir, just looked at him with a sharp, emotionless stare.

“You already took everything from me, Father. This is my one chance to get things back to where they are supposed to be.”

“Adrien?”

The gaze didn’t change, but he did raise an eyebrow. “In my timeline you knew. You knew, and you still hurt me. You hurt her. You turned me, and you forced me to kill. You left me alone in that world for months. Left me to mourn. Cursed me to this form—“ he snarled. “That can’t starve, that can’t sleep, that can’t thirst or drown—“ a tear fell down his cheek. “You left me in a prison where I couldn’t die, and would continue to suffer because of your mistakes.” He gave a hint of a bitter smile. “Does that answer your question, old man?”

Maybe it was just the blood loss, but Gabriel felt some remorse. “I’m sorry, son. Give me back the Butterfly, and I’ll set you free.”

“Not a chance. Ladybug will fix me. And when I give her these, she’ll love me again. And I’ll have all the family I ever need.” With that, he summoned his baton to break through the window, and launched out into Paris.

Gabriel laid still on the ground, holding his chest with one hand while Nathalie gripped his wrist with the other.

“I…what am I going to do?”

“Well, you know Adrien has the ring—“

“No doubt Chat Blanc will tell him everything before we can get to him. I don’t think that’s an option anymore.”

“Then…what would you like to do?”

He spent a long time just breathing and thinking.

Choosing.

“I guess, apologize. And then hope that I haven’t done enough damage to lose the only family I have left.”

“Maybe, if he is Chat Noir, and you explain the truth to him…he’ll tell Ladybug. Maybe she’d help.”

“I doubt she’d do anything to help me, after all I’ve done.” He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “I could just bleed out here. Save him the pain.”

“I won’t let you do that, Sir. As upset Adrien will be, he still loves you.”

“But for how long?”

“I think you should live and find out.”

—

Chat Blanc had never been so happy. He should be upset, angry, sobbing even, but he wasn’t.

He was getting his second chance. Paris was full, alive, teeming with traffic and swearing and smoking and everything foul that wasn’t there in his wastelands.

Hawkmoth was gone, and he was on his way to Marinette. With these, she had to love him, she just had to.

Francois DuPont never looked so pretty. The windows showed bored expressions of dozens of students.

Students that were alive and not submerged under water.

He dropped down in the courtyard, letting muscle memory take him up the stairs to his old classroom. The door was closed, but not locked.

Did he knock? Or did he just walk in? It had been so long…did he introduce himself? Did he apologize for interrupting?

He decided to forgo knocking, and pushed the door open on his own.

All eyes turned to look at him, but his attention was only on her.

Though he did get a glimpse of his own horrified face.

“Chat Noir?” The teacher asked.

“No.” He shook his head. “Not anymore.” He never stopped looking right at Marinette.

“I must be dreaming,” the girl in question said aloud. “I must have fallen asleep, and now I’m having a nightmare.” Tears were filling her eyes as her voice crumbled. “Please tell me you’re a nightmare, Chat.”

“No, My Lady. I’m real.” Did she know him from somewhere? Or was she just assuming he was an akumatized Chat Noir? “But this shouldn’t be a nightmare, Marinette.” His steps were slow and soft, trying not to spook her. “I’m your dream come true. Because it’s over now, and we can be together.”

She stood abruptly, smacking her knees on the desk and almost tumbling. “What are you talking about?”

He placed the Miraculous on the desk. “It’s over now. I won. Hawkmoth is no more, and there’s nothing that can hurt us. This will make you love me again!”

“Holy shit…” Said Alya.

Marinette just stared at them, and then at Chat. “How—?”

“He brought me here. Somehow, an Akuma I guess. He plucked me out of my time, and brought me here. This is my chance to start again, you know.” He grabbed her wrist. “Now our love won’t ruin the world! We can be happy again, My Lady! We can be happy and nothing will tear us apart!”

Adrien, who had up until very recently, by reveal of a certain nickname, thought that Marinette was only just Marinette, grabbed Chat Blanc and yanked him back, forcing him to let go of Marinette.

“Don’t touch her!” He snapped.

“And you—“ Chat Blanc grabbed him by the throat and lifted him into the air. “A little liar with too much self preservation! Why didn’t you act sooner?! Why couldn’t you save her?!”

Adrien clawed at the hand on his throat. “I don’t—know what the hell—you’re talking about!”

“Don’t play stupid, Adrien! It’s not going to work on me, and you know that!”

His voice was just a whisper now, as he attempted to meet Chat Blanc’s gaze. “Whatever, man. But you think outing her is smart? You think that’ll make her like you?”

Chat Blanc crushed harder, suffocating him. “It doesn’t matter with Hawkmoth out of the way! And once I kill you, there will be no competition! She’ll love me for sure!”

Marinette had stashed the Miraculous in her purse once Chat Blanc had turned his back. She was going to attempt to talk him down, but at his threat on Adrien’s life, she realized he was beyond talking.

“Tikki, Spots on!”

Chat Blanc whirled back around, only to get a fist to the face.

Adrien fell on the floor, gasping.

“Are you alright?” She asked, helping him up.

He rubbed his neck sheepishly as he nodded. He knew she was Marinette, but the mask still turned his legs to jelly.

“Why do you protect him, Ladybug? Don’t you know you can just be happy with me?”

Marinette pushed Adrien behind her. “I might be able to be happy with my Chat Noir, but never with you. I love Adrien, and I’ll fight to protect him, even if he doesn’t love me back.” Though it was a brave declaration, she still blushed.

“Ugh, don’t you get it? I am him!”

“What?”

“I’m Adrien! Adrien is Chat Noir! We’re supposed to be together! And we were! We were happy, Marinette! And then—and then you told me you didn’t love me anymore. You almost got akumatized over that…but I saved you.” He snarled. “But he kept us apart. My father knew who I was, and he turned me into this…”

“Wait,” Adrien rasped. “Father turned you into…an akuma?”

“Because he’s Hawkmoth, Adrien. He always has been. Mother is alive, in a coma, in the basement. And he never let you see her, because he doesn’t trust you.”

“Shut up!” Ladybug shouted.

“Even after he knew who I was, he still hit me. He beat me, Adrien, because he doesn’t love us!”

Adrien held a hand over his face, willing his sobs to stay silent.

“We’re just a pawn for him. But…I can make it better. Let me destroy you, and everything will stop hurting. I’ll take care of Marinette, I promise!”

“That’s enough!” Ladybug lashed out and snagged his bell, ripped it from his throat, and smashed it on the floor.

Then she caught the butterfly as it emerged, purified it, and let it go. But she didn’t call for a cure, not yet.

Chat Noir, sans bell, glanced around the room in confusion. “Ladybug? What’s going on? Why are we here? Where’s Hawkmoth?”

She met him with tear streaked cheeks. “You’re in the wrong timeline, Chat Noir.”

His eyes flicked to Adrien, who was clearly shell shocked. “That would make…some sense.”

“You were akumatized, and our Hawkmoth brought you here…probably to recruit you.”

“Did I hurt anyone?”

“You beat him. You beat Hawkmoth.”

“And you tried to take my place,” Adrien hissed, showing his bruised throat.

Chat Noir gripped his hair fiercely. “Oh crap! Oh crap crap crap! I’m so sorry! He’ll be all better once you do the cure, right Bug?”

“Yeah. Physically, at least…but you did say some things that will hurt for a long time.”

“I didn’t mean any of it! I was an Akuma, they lie and say all sorts of things—“

“You told me about Father. And mother.”

“Oh…” he sighed. “Unfortunately, that’s too fresh in my mind to be a lie. I saw mom. He wanted to use the Miraculous to bring her back, but he was so unwilling to listen to me, to even think about working with us—that’s how it happened. He got me.”

“I’m so sorry, Kitty.” Ladybug lamented. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

He shook his head. “It’s over now. If I defeated him, then you don’t have to be subjected to it,” he told Adrien. “I don’t mind taking one for the team.”

“Did you kill him?” Adrien asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Even if he did, casting cure would fix it.” Said Ladybug. “There might be hope for a happy ending.”

Chat Noir took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “My Lady, will you send me back? I have to see her again. My Marinette. I have to see her and make up with her.”

Ladybug patted his cheek fondly. “Knowing me, she probably still loves you. But something happened to make her put distance between you.”

“You’ll be happy together, right?” He asked, pouting.

Adrien slipped an arm around her waist and held her. “I think we’ll manage.”

Ladybug hugged Chat briefly. “Thank you. For all your trauma and suffering, you helped us.”

“You also revealed both of our identities to the class, but that’s the kind of mistake I would make as an Akuma…” Adrien winced.

Chat Noir looked at all the shocked and concerned faces around him. “Wow, look at all these comforting, understanding, and loyal friends you have. Where’s Lila?”

“Out sick today,” provided Sabrina.

“Perfect! Don’t ever ever tell her what happened here. She’s a liar and would tell our identities in a heartbeat for a chance for fame.”

“Not a problem, Kitty Cat,” said Alya, with a wink. “Some of us are pretty good secret keepers.”

“You knew!?” Adrien cried, with betrayal in his voice.

Alya winced. “Ah, yeah…”

“Adrien.” Ladybug took his face and held it with trembling hands. “My kitty, my partner, my best friend, what I’m about to tell you is going to suck and you’re going to hate it, and that’s why I haven’t told you.”

“I’ve already had a lot of bad news dropped on me today, lay it on me.”

She glanced at the rest of the class and then Chat Noir. “Let me send him home, and then we’ll talk in privacy.”

He nodded, not really fond of how much the class had already learned about him today.

Ladybug threw her yo-yo up in the air. “Miraculous Ladybug!”

In a wave of fluttering red, Chat Noir was gone, and so were the bruises on Adrien’s neck.

“Spots off.”

Now, the class started whispering. Up until that moment, shock held them in silence. After all, it's not everyday you find out your classmates are superheroes.

“Miss Bustier, are you okay if we leave for a while?”

The teacher stammered a second, unfreezing from her complete and total shock. “I think it would be a crime to make you stay here today.”

Marinette smiled gratefully, before taking Adrien’s hand and leading him out into the hall. He was silent, rightfully so, and Marinette could only be happy there was no chance of him getting akumatized.

Finally, they took a seat on a bench, and waited for the other to speak.

“I…didn’t think this was how our identities would be revealed,” he breathed.

“I always wanted to tell you.” Marinette insisted, “even though I said otherwise. Tikki and Master Fu were so adamant that I not tell a soul.”

“So why does Alya know?”

She rested a hand on his. “I’ll get to that. But first…Chat Blanc.”

Adrien sat attentive and quiet, holding his accusations for later.

“It started about three months ago, when I gave you that Beret.”

“Beret? The one from the Brazilian fan club?”

“Yeah…except it wasn’t. It was from me. Originally, I left it in your room, with my name on it. My real name. A little while after I left, Bunnix came to me, and explained that she needed my help. She took me into her burrow, and led me to the future…the future where you were akumatized.”

“As Chat Blanc.”

“Yes.”

“That same akuma, that same Chat Noir?”

“I assume so. The moon was destroyed, the city flooded. You were all alone, everyone was gone.”

“Where…where was that Ladybug?”

She hesitated to say it, but admitted, “I found her underwater…cataclysmed.”

“No…I wouldn’t have—“

“I know, Adrien. Chat Blanc was upset about it too. He cried. He wanted my Miraculous to make the wish and fix it.”

“Sounds like an Akuma alright,” he said bitterly.

“At the time, all I knew was that you knew my identity, and you said that our love destroyed the world. So…I assumed that you became akumatized by finding out who I was…and that the beret had something to do with it. So I erased my name.”

“Oh…but Chat Blanc said he was akumatized because of my parents.”

“I didn’t know that back then. I wish I had. As it stood, I was certain an identity reveal would end up with an Akuma.”

“I understand your reasoning…but what about Alya?”

She sighed, the guilt toiling around inside her. “That wasn’t…it was a spur of the moment thing. I was back into a corner and people were getting really worried about me. Worried and nosey…and so I told Alya. Rena Rouge.”

“Ah. I see.”

“I should have told you. I should have told you so you could have told someone. It’s not fair to think I was the only one that needed a confident.”

“If I had to pick someone that wasn’t you, it would have been Nino. So I get it. Really, I do.”

Tears welled up in her eyes regardless. He was hurting so badly, but what could she even do to help?

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Yes! Yes I do! Adrien, you’re my partner. Yes, keeping secrets can keep us safe for a while, but eventually we’ll run out of trust and then we’ll be in danger again. I don’t want to lose you!”

He gave her a little smile. “I might be upset, but you aren’t going to lose me. I promise.”

She squeezed his hand. “No more secrets. We train as guardians together. I’ll tell you all the auxiliary heroes, and all the formulas and—“ she stopped, blushing.

“What?”

“Ugh…I have to tell you something, since I said no more secrets.”

“Is it bad?”

“…no?”

He turned his hand to squeeze her back. “Okay. Well then, let’s hear it.”

She looked away, too nervous to look at his face. “Gah! This is just as hard as it’s always been!”

“I’m not going to judge you.”

“I know! I know!”

Pretend this is just Chat. She goaded herself.

“I…I’m in…love with you?” She squeaked out. There. The deed was done. She shyly turned to look at him.

Wide, sparkling eyes full of tears, but a big smile on his face. “You mean it? You said as much to Chat Blanc, but I didn’t know for sure…”

“Ugh, right. That.” She nodded. “You were the boy I kept turning…well, you down for. I’m sorry…”

“I’m not!” He chirped. “Marinette, if anyone was going to have a crush on me as Adrien, I’m so glad it’s you. You really know me! You’re special to me, and I always considered you as a friend.”

She sighed, hearing the magic words. “As I’ve heard.”

He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She blushed again. “It’s just…whenever we had a moment, or I tried to do something special for you, you always remind me that you feel…nothing for me.”

“Wait, what? That’s what you got out of that?”

“That you want me as a friend and just a friend?”

He actually laughed at her and pulled her into a hug. “Marinette, I thought you were nervous around me because you were uncomfortable. I said that stuff to let you know I treasured our friendship. I love you so so much, My Lady. I was deeply in love with Ladybug, and completely in denial with Marinette.”

“Can confirm!” Shouted Plagg from inside his jacket.

“So having you be the same? I’m…I’m so happy!” He hugged her tightly. “Today has thrown a lot of bad things at me, and I’m so worried about what comes next. But with you, I’m sure I’ll be okay.” He pulled away slightly. “You…will stay with me for whatever happens, right? I know Hawkmoth being my dad is kind of a deal breaker…”

Marinette wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up into him, kissing him right on the mouth.

He stiffened briefly, before melting against her and pulling her tighter into the hug.

The kiss was perfect, not in execution or performance, but because of the love they felt. Adrien nipped at her lip, and Marinette hummed as she twined her fingers into his hair.

They pulled away begrudgingly.

“You and me against the world, right Kitty?”

“You know exactly what to say to make my heart swoon, my lady love.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Kiss me and I’ll get over it.”

“I’m serious, Kitty.” She touched his cheek. “I knew it was going to hurt, and I foolishly and cowardly put it off, hoping it would go away.”

“Marinette, from what you said…it wasn’t just painful for me. It scared you, didn’t it? You said…when Chat Blanc appeared, that you thought you were having a nightmare. Do you dream of him?”

“Sometimes.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Adrien.”

He considered his next move, and decided to scoop her up into his lap. “So, here’s my idea. If you have another nightmare about him, you call me, and I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

“And do what?”

“Hold you. Kiss you. Reassure you. Cuddle with you until you fall asleep. Whatever you need.”

She snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, bugaboo.”

Silence lapsed between for a while, as they just sat together, enjoying the warmth of their bodies, and the open air between them.

Marinette sighed. “We should probably go confront your father.”

“Yeah. We should…”

“Could…I offer you a reward if we go through with it?”

“What could possibly motivate me?”

“Once we’re done, and everything is put away…we can find a random, secluded rooftop and…make out for a while.”

Adrien stood, with Marinette still in his arms. “You know how to motivate a man.”

“I’ll be with you every step of the way. Just think about later.”

“One peck for the road?”

“One.”

Adrien held her tightly before dipping her and pressing a sinful, toe-curling kiss to her lips. When he finished a few minutes later, she breathlessly huffed, “that was not a peck.”

“No, but I need the strength.”

“Somehow, it’s a lot harder to stay mad at you. You can put me down now.”

“Nah. Plagg, Claws out!”

“Tikki, Spots on!”

The closer they got to the mansion, the faster Chat’s mood tanked. All the surface level happy feelings had bubbled away, and now he was filled with dread and apprehension.

“I…I don’t want to send my dad to jail,” he said, as they landed inside the walls.

“I know Kitty. I can do the talking.”

“You’re so good at it, Princess.”

She knocked twice, but didn’t wait for an answer before entering.

It didn’t matter. Gabriel and Nathalie were sitting in the lobby, waiting, as it appeared.

“Hello son,” said Gabriel, with not a trace of malice in his voice.

Chat halted, paling considerably. “You know?”

“Chat Blanc revealed as much. What did he tell you?”

“He said that…mom was still alive. You wanted the Miraculous to wake her up.”

“That’s right. But…” he sighed. “Can I humble myself and ask for your help, Ladybug? Can you look at her? Can you see if there’s any hope?”

“I would love to.”

#miraculous #ml #miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette #adrien agreste #chat blanc #ladynoir #identity reveal

117 notes · View notes

lavenderwhore444 · 3 years

Note

So imagine this the reader is a hero and shigaraki is a villain of course anyways shiggy falls head over heels for the reader and always tries to get there attention while the reader does find shigaraki cute but he’s being a pain in the ass always destroying things and making messes, reader kidnapped him and Using him as a fuck toy ( of course our little pervert is enjoying this ) anyways the reader straight up tells him if he behaves and start doing good things he’ll get rewarded and actually get to cum, long story short tahts how shigaraki stopped being a villain and destroying things

If you want to use interactive fics, it's easy and makes reading fics SO much better. First, you download the Google Chrome extension. You'll see it in the top right corner of your screen. Next, you enter your name in the first box. If you want to change something other than y/n, please click on the text that says “want to change something other than y/n?” here, you can change any word you want to a different word. When I talk about your quirk I will use y/q

Anon, I am excited to say that all of your requests are done and I'm soooooo excited

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This feeds my saviour complex 🤤

Warnings: edging, blowjob, Shiggy cums in your mouth, lol, fingering (female), vaginal sex, porn (filming), Tomura wasn't as submissive as I planned and pretty much doms you in the end 😞. He's kinda subby at the beginning tho. THIS COULD’VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER IM MAD. If this gets 1,000 notes, I'll rewrite it 😏 I never say shit like that but yolo ig.

I love you all and hope you eat food and drink some water.

“Shiggy why the actual fuck are we here? It’s the middle of nowhere and that hero y/n’s base is here, ” Dabi complained.

“Shut up. I’m your boss, ” he said, giddy with excitement.

He was so excited to see you: your cool quirk and costume, your pretty voice and face. Plus you’d pay attention to him. You both fought close range, so he’d be able to get a good look at you. He'd get to admire how beautiful you looked up close. The last time he saw you, he swore you were blushing at him. It wasn't like him to flirt with heroes. That was Dabi’s thing, but he couldn't resist.

“Dabi burn that down, ” he ordered.

“Yes boss, ” he muttered, setting the building ablaze.

It was the sixth time in two weeks blue flames were seen from out your window. You sighed, stretched and walked towards the burning building.

“Again?!” you said, saving the last of the people inside.

“I just couldn't resist, ” Tomura smiled, “I missed you y/n if you’d just give me your number, we wouldn't have to do this, ”

“In your dreams, creep, ” you scoffed.

“You're so mean to me, “ he pouted, letting you dodge his punch on purpose.

“God fucking damn it Shigaraki. Stop burning my shit down!” you yelled in frustration.

“Then go out with me. Then I'll quit burning things down. Please y/n? I promise, ” he said.

You groaned, “no, Shigaraki, I won't go out with you, ”

“I love it when you say my name, ” he sighed, “you have such a pretty voice y/n, ”

You slapped him on the back, tripping him with your other foot.

“Just get out of here, ” you said.

“Fine, fine, but i’ll be back for you my love!” he called as he stumbled into the warp gate.

You smiled to yourself. Shigaraki was kind of cute, but he always made such a mess. It was a shame, really.

A bruise-covered Tomura stumbled upstairs. Normally he’d be mad that an enemy marked up his avatar but they were your bruises. Proof that you had touched him with those gorgeous hands. He shrugged off his coat to find a note stuck to it.

‘xxx-xxx-xxxx’

It was your number. You gave him your number. He practically skipped downstairs. He slid into the seat beside Dabi and waved the note in his face.

“She gave me her number, ” Shigaraki bragged.

“Ha, funny story, ” Dabi deadpanned, lighting a cigarette.

“Whatever, I don't need you to believe me, ” he said.

He walked upstairs and sat on the bed to make a contact for you. He put you as ‘y/n <3’ with his favorite picture of you. The picture was from your very first fight. You and All Might were smiling at the camera. He had bought photoshop for two reasons, the first to get All Might out of the picture and second, so he could enhance the photo of you. He ran a finger over your digital face.

“So pretty, ” he whispered, “my pretty y/n, ”

Shigaraki finally worked up the courage to text you.

I knew you'd give in eventually y/n

ᵈᵉˡⁱᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

He put his phone down and started playing his game. Before he knew it, hours had gone by. He checked his phone.

I knew you'd give in eventually y/n

ᵒᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ

Whatever come see me

I'm not dumb y/n this is a trap

I thought you liked me

ᵒᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ

I promise it’s not a trap

And I never thought I'd say this but I do like you Shigaraki

Even if you make a mess of the city

Every

Fucking

Day

Get over here before I change my mind creep

📍 y/n sent their location 📍

Fine

ᵒᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ

Shigaraki gave Kurogiri the adress.

“Here. Now, ” he ordered, putting on his artist's gloves.

The warp gate opened, and he took a shaky breath before stepping through. He entered your living room, it was surprisingly cozy, and you had lit a fire. You weren't in the room, so he sent you another text.

I'm here

ᵒᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ

He heard you open the door and walk in.

“Hey creep, ” you said.

You sat in front of him on the couch.

“You can sit but if you want to keep standing there like an idiot go ahead, ” you said.

He scoffed, “the real idiot is the person who let a villain walk into her house after sending him her location, ”

“Touche, ” you responded, “but I know you'd never hurt me. The city and everyone else is fair game apparently,”

“Just let go of the whole destroying cities thing, ” he said, putting an arm around you, “I was just doing it to impress you, ”

“The only thing that was impressive is all the extra hours I had to put in, ” you snapped.

The room fell silent.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, but you do really stress me out, Shigaraki, ” you sighed, “so I guess it’s only fair that you help me relax, ”

You straddle his lap, putting your hands in his hair

“You're going to live here from now on and pay off your debt to me, Shiggy. And if you're good, you'll even get a reward, ” you said, tapping your finger on his nose.

“What do you mean rela- oh, ” he said, realizing what you meant.

“You don't have to if you don't want to, baby, ” you said, kissing his forehead, “you'd never hurt me, and I'd never hurt you, ”

You wiggled your hips in his lap, “although something tells me you want this as much as I do, Shiggy, ”

“Yeah whatever, ” he mumbled, embarrassed, “go ahead, ”

“You sure?” You asked, nuzzling the side of his neck.

The only time you touched people as a pro-hero was if you were fighting them or saving them. Having Shigaraki here was so nice. He was rubbing your back and holding you. Despite being with a villain, you felt so safe.

“I'm sure, y/n, ” Shigaraki said.

He moved your face in front of his and kissed you. Neither of you had much experience when it came to kissing or romance in general. You were too busy fighting each other. All things considered, your first kiss was pretty good. You never thought you'd have a villain in your house, let alone on your lips. He rubbed his hands up and down your waist.

“Use me however you want y/n you deserve it, baby. I trust you, ” he mumbled against your lips.

It didn't take long for the two of you to strip, shoving your tongues into each other a mouths. Shigaraki didn't really know what to do. He mostly learned from porn. He just kind of rubbed your cunt smiling when you jumped as he found your clit. He learned quickly, rubbing it harshly as you whined into his mouth. He found your hole after a while, pressing a finger in. One didn't really do anything for you so he pressed in another one confused that it wasn't causing the reaction he wanted.

He started wiggling his fingers around until he felt an extra squishy part inside of you and rubbed it, causing you to start moaning again. He brought his other hand to your clit, letting you hump his hand.

“Shigaraki, ” you whined, “please don't stop, ”

“Not gonna stop, baby, ” he said, “don’t worry, ”

You didn't expect him to get you to cum his first try, but soon, you were feeling the pleasure intensify until it broke, ripping through your body.

“No more baby, ” you groaned, “too much, ”

He pulled his hands away and pressed his forehead to yours.

“Thank you for letting me touch you like that y/n, ” he said.

“Its time for me to return the favor, ” you smiled knowing exactly what you wanted.

You lowered yourself onto him, adjusting as he groaned at the feeling of you around him. You felt so warm and wet, so tight around him. He bucked into you when you finally started bouncing. His nails dug into your hips. You decided to rile him up.

“Gonna make you cum so hard, baby, ” you said, nearly giggling, “gonna make you feel so good,”

You reached down to your clit, throwing your head back. His size made it quite easy to get yourself off, and before you knew it, you were right on the edge. You pushed yourself to cum as fast as possible, moaning and whimpering.

“So close baby, ” he groaned as your orgasm finished.

“Too bad, ” you said getting off of him, “did you really think you deserve to cum? After all the trouble you caused? You're gonna have to work for it Tomura Shigaraki, ”

“What the hell, ” he said, “that's not fucking fair. I made you cum twice, isn't that enough?”

“After all the shit you've done? No, no, no, baby, the only way you're gonna get to cum is if you start cleaning up your fucking messes. We’re going out tonight to help clean up that building you burnt up, ”

“No the fuck we’re not. I'm leaving. Fuck you, ” he said.

“Ah ah ah, ” you said, grabbing his phone and pressing two buttons, “kurogiri can't send any warp gates, and your quirk is neutralized. Plus, I'm keeping this phone, ”

He was livid. Maybe you were the real villain here.

“Dont look so sad baby, if you work hard enough, you could cum in the next couple of days. Until then, you're mine to fuck whenever and however I want, ” you said.

He scoffed, “I'm a villain y/n I'm not gonna let everyone see me acting like a fucking hero, ”

“Have fun being edged every day then, and no, you're not allowed to get yourself off. I can't trust you not to, so you're forcing me to tie you up. If only you would come to help your wonderful girlfriend who's just trying to help you have a better life, ” you said.

“Girlfriend?” he sputtered.

“Mhm, ” you said, “I like you, Shigaraki don't you remember? And you asked me out yesterday, ”

He stood there dumbfounded.

“Come on. I'm tired let's get to bed, ” you said, taking his hand.

You walked into the bathroom with him.

“Here I got you pajamas and a toothbrush. Do you need anything else?” you asked.

“No I'm good. Thanks, ” he said.

“No problem baby, ” you said, ruffling his hair.

You brushed your teeth and put on pajamas. You caught him by surprise and tied his hands together.

“Hey what the hell?” he said.

“Shiggy, I told you I couldn’t trust you to be a good boy. You forced my hand, ” you said, leading him to bed.

You both laid down, and you pulled him into your chest, cuddling him close.

“Mmm, good night Shiggy, ” you said.

“Fuck you y/n...goodnight, ” he grumbled.

You giggled and kissed the top of his head. Over the next few weeks, Shigaraki became more and more irritable. It was so annoying to be pushed to the edge every day just to watch you take his orgasm away.

“Fine!” he yelled, on the sixth week of his stay “fine! I'll clean up all the buildings Dabi burned down yesterday! Just let me cum y/n, baby, just let me cum, ” he begged.

You smiled and hugged him tightly, “oh Shiggy, I knew you'd give in and help me! I'm so proud of you. C’mon let's go right now and you can cum after. Any way you want baby, ”

To everyone's surprise, Shigaraki did a great job of cleaning up the building in record time. However, he did threaten everyone at least five times until you shot him a look to make him utter a ‘sorry.’ he had earned his phone back after that since he did such a good job.

He got his shit rocked that night, cumming until he was shaking and crying. Begging you for more.

“Please y/n please let me cum again, m-more I want more, ” he begged.

“Tell me how much you want it baby. Tell me how bad you need to cum, ” you said, taking him in your mouth again.

“Please, ” he cried, “please y/n I need it so bad, ”

You spent hours fucking him, fucking him even though you were over stimulated to the point of tears.

Meanwhile, the league was falling apart without him and disappearing almost completely. It was no secret that people were looking for him, but he was with other heroes all the time. They had no chance at getting him back.

‘So this is what it’s all about,’ he thought, ‘sure y/n is getting paid but not for this. Y/n cleans up and helps people for free. She never gets paid when she's helping behind the scenes. Neither do her friends. Maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe I was right about heroes when I was a kid, ‘

“Y/n, ” he said one night, “I want to get my license. I want to be a real hero, just like I wanted when I was a kid. I was wrong. I was wrong about all of this, ”

You smiled and kissed him hard, “I knew you'd come around, Tomura. You deserve a special reward, baby, ”

He grinned, “what did you have in mind?”

“Mmm, how would you like to show the entire world that I'm all yours?” you asked.

“Id fucking love that y/n, ” he said.

You kissed him. It was messy and loving. He left hickeys all over your neck, snapping picture after picture.

“You want to take a few of me a sucking your cock? Want a fucking video for everyone to see? Let everyone know I suck your cock? Yeah, do you want that baby?” you teased, settling between his legs.

“Do you when have to ask?” he said grabbing your hair on a ponytail, “go on baby, don't be shy, ”

He had his phone in his hand as you licked a long strip up his shaft.

“Tell them who you belong to, baby, ” he groaned.

“You, ” you said, sucking on the head of Shigaraki’s cock making him moan, “I belong to you, Shiggy, I'm yours baby, ”

“That's right, ” he whispered.

You started bobbing your head as he moved more hair out of your face zooming in on you.

“Smile for the camera baby, ” he teased.

You smiled around his cock as best you could while still sucking him off. He kept the camera trained on your face as he shoved you down the rest of the way, causing you to gag. He whispered out a quiet ‘fuck’ as you struggled around him.

“Oh fuck, ” he groaned, using your mouth, “almost there, baby, keep taking my cock come on you can do it y/n, ”

You sucked harder trying to use your tongue as much as you could. You felt him pull you so your mouth was around his tip cumming in your mouth instead of your throat.

“Show them, baby, ” he said, zooming in on your mouth, “show them all the cum you took, ”

You opened your mouth, some dribbling down your chin.

“Swallow sweetie, ” he cooed.

You swallowed and opened your mouth again to show that it was empty.

He chuckled, “good job baby, ” he said petting your hair.

He stopped the video watching some of it through.

“Good job y/n you're a natural, ” he smirked.

You giggled and kissed his inner thigh.

“Lay down on your back on the bed for me, baby, ” he said, walking with you to the bedroom.

He ran his hand over your body, squeezing your tits and thighs.

“So pretty baby, ” Shigaraki whispered, panning the phone up your body.

You giggled, spreading your legs for him.

“God y/n look at that baby. So fucking wet for me. Just for me, ” he said

He ran a finger through the wetness between your legs. Once Shigaraki’s finger was coated, he brought it up to your mouth, getting a good view of your face as you sucked it clean. He laughed and dragged the finger back down your body to push it into you. He quickly added a second finger and working you up until you were moaning and moving against him frantically.

“Right there, ” you moaned, “please Shiggy I'm gonna, ”

“Go on, baby, let them see you cum for me, babe, ” he urged, bumping your clit with his thumb.

Your legs started shaking as you got louder, letting go around his fingers for the whole world to see. Thinking about that, everyone seeing a pro-hero brought to her knees by the most powerful ex villain.

“Want you inside, ” you muttered, “want you inside me, please Shiggy, ”

He smirked and lined you up, rubbing his cock against you before sliding in as your back arched.

“Shiggy, ” you whined, “baby please move, please fuck me, ”

“Sure princess, ” he snickered.

He got a good angle and started to thrust slowly. You whimpered, gripping the sheets as he began to speed up, listening to your moans and the squelch of your cunt as he plunged into you. He began to speed up, alternating between your face as you got lost in pleasure and the way his cunt hugged his cock. Shigaraki kept up a steady pace for a while before throwing it all away to fuck you ruthlessly, letting your tits bounce for the camera as you became more and more desperate for release.

“Shigaraki, ” you cried, “I need to cum, baby. Please, ”

He brought a finger down to your clit, rubbing slow circles that increased in speed slowly until he was rubbing it ruthlessly. Your moans only got louder as you bucked against him.

“I'm gonna cum, ” you whispered.

“Louder, baby, ” he said, starting to lose control.

“I'm gonna cum!” you cried.

“Do it, baby. Come on, let them see you lose control, let them see what I fucking do to you. Cum for me y/n.”

Your back arched, eyes rolled back as you let out a loud broken moan. Shigaraki moaned as he zoomed in on your face, contorted in pleasure.

“Fuck baby I'm gonna cum. Gonna cum inside of you baby girl, ” he grunted getting faster.

He let out a long moan as he halted inside of you, letting his cock shoot cum inside of you. He stayed still, panting before pulling out slowly. He let the camera focus on the sticky white liquid oozing out of you.

“Fuck, ” he whispered.

He dipped his finger into you and had you lick the cum off of it.

“I love you, ” he whispered, bracing himself for rejection.

“I love you too, ” you said, pulling him into a kiss with the phone forgotten.

The video was stopped as he pulled you close to him. Shigaraki held you to his chest, rubbing circles on your back.

“Guess what I'm drawing, ” he said, tracing a heart on your back.

“A flower?” you guessed.

“Nope, ” he said, kissing the top of your head, “a heart, ”

He grabbed his phone again, posting the videos.

“There we go, ” he whispered, “now they'll know you're all mine,”

#shigaraki fluff #shigaraki smut #tomura smut #tenko smut #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tenko #tomura shiragaki #shigaraki tomura #tomura fluff #tomura x reader #mha tomura #tomura imagine #villain to hero

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cocobeanncteez · 3 years

Text

ATEEZ Yeosang: Soulmate (oneshot)

Genre: Angst, fluff, idol au, soulmate au.

Pairing: Soulmate!Yeosang x Reader (fem) / Yeosang x idol!reader

Warnings: none.

In this world, everyone has a soulmate. Most people give up on trying to find their soulmate, while some travel the world just to find that one special person.

Each person has different indicators that a person is their soulmate; in your case, every mark your soulmate gets on his skin appears on yours, like a burn scar, bruise, or a cut. You didn't have the same moles, freckles, or birthmarks, and if he drew something on his skin, it wouldn't appear on yours; basically, anything that changes an area of the skin that can't be easily or instantly undone, will show up on your skin. Luckily, you couldn't feel the pain from it, you could only see it.

"Y/N, you're next," your group's makeup artist said to you, making you get up from the sofa. You sat on the chair, allowing her to work on your face while you listened to some music. After everyone in your group got ready, you went on stage. You were the leader of your group, so you had to talk before the performance.

Ateez had just finished performing and were currently watching your group from the TV in their waiting room while they had some refreshments.

Yeosang wasn't paying much attention as he was really tired... that was until he noticed the burn scar on your finger while you talked: it was the exact same burn scar as his that he got two days ago while helping Wooyoung cook. He got up from the chair, moving closer to the TV to check if it was really the same. He mentally cursed when you gave the mic to another member, cause now he couldn't see your hands anymore.

"What's wrong, Yeosang?" Hongjoong asked.

"Hyung, she has the same scar as me," he replied, showing the scar on his finger, shocking some of the members. "I'm not sure if it's exactly the same."

"Wait, wait, wait," Wooyoung took out his phone; he had already found his soulmate, so he was sure this was a sign. He immediately searched for images on Twitter. When he found a picture of a bruise that you had on your knee, he showed it to Yeosang. "Didn't you have the same bruise last month?"

Yeosang's eyes widened. "No way... this can't be true."

"You don't look very happy for someone who just found out who their soulmate is," Yunho commented.

"That's cause I'm not," Yeosang said through gritted teeth. "I hate this whole soulmate bullshit. I'd rather genuinely fall in love with someone than have the universe choose that someone for me."

None of the guys questioned Yeosang, knowing it was not the best time to talk to him about it; however, they really hoped he would change his mind soon.

After your group's performance ended, you all started filming for your behind the scenes content. Today, you all had a challenge to do: your six-member group was split into two teams, and one member from each team had to visit five other groups/soloists in the building to play a round of rock, paper, scissors, and the team who gets the least wins would face a penalty that would be shown on the next vlive. You and one of your members, Aeji, decided to volunteer for it.

After finishing the first four groups, you went to Ateez's waiting room which was at the end of the corridor. Aeji knocked on the door and Ateez's manager opened it. She explained what you both were here for, and he agreed to let you film with them.

You entered the room, bowing to the eight men. "Hi! I'm Y/N and this is Aeji, we have a small challenge to do here. Could one of you play rock, paper, scissors with us?" You noticed how some of the boys glanced at Yeosang who was staring at your hands. As soon as you made eye-contact with Kang Yeosang, you felt something unexplainable in your heart, making you gasp in shock. Your vision became blurry and your head started spinning, making you clutch your head with your arms in hope of getting the spinning to stop.

"Y/N?! Y/N, are you all right?" you heard Aeji ask, but her voice seemed so far away.

Your head started spinning even faster, causing you to faint.

"Fuck!" Aeji kneeled down, putting your head on her lap while Ateez's staff got some water for you. They sprinkled some water on your face, but you didn't respond. "Oh god, what suddenly happened? She was fine minutes ago," Aeji mumbled to herself, but everyone heard her.

"Yeosang, do something," Wooyoung said. "Maybe she'll respond to you."

Aeji glanced at them in confusion.

"I'm not doing shit," Yeosang said. "You know I don't like this whole soul—"

"I'm sorry, but what are you guys talking about?" Aeji questioned.

"Y/N is Yeosang's soulmate," San stated, making the older man glare at him for exposing him.

Aeji's eyes widened. "Oh, is that so? Well, then do something, please. I don't know what made her faint."

"Well, from what I know, she passed out cause she has seen and been in the same area as Yeosang, but never realized he is her soulmate. The intensity of not knowing but being so close probably caused her to pass out," Hongjoong explained.

You could hear everything, but you just weren't able to open your eyes.

"Hyung, touch her cheek or something," Jongho suggested.

Yeosang hesitated for a few seconds before he sighed, kneeling beside you. He placed his hand on your cheek, gently cupping it, stroking your skin with his thumb. Even though he hated the whole soulmate thing, he couldn't deny that you were absolutely stunning; he had never seen anyone as beautiful as you.

Your eyes slowly opened, immediately landing on Yeosang's beautiful brown ones. Time seemed to have frozen at that moment, and your heart filled with happiness. It was obvious to you that he was your soulmate; you were thrilled about it as you always wanted to find your soulmate, and you always found Yeosang unique whenever you saw him at shows.

"I-I have to go," Yeosang murmured before standing up and leaving the room, leaving you confused. Why didn't he look happy?

"Kang Yeosang from Ateez is my soulmate," you told your members. They all were happy for you, except Aeji.

"Y/N, I don't think Yeosang is as thrilled as you," Aeji mumbled. "Jongho told me that Yeosang hates the whole soulmate thing."

"Oh, my brother hated all that too, but after he found his soulmate, he loved it," one of your members said with a small smile.

"Then let's hope Yeosang is the same, hmm?" Aeji said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You really hoped everything would go well.

"Um, hey, can we talk privately?" you asked Yeosang, standing outside Ateez's waiting room. He rolled his eyes, but followed you to the rooftop of the building.

You gave him a small smile. "So, uh—"

"Look, Y/N," he started in a cold tone. "I don't care if we're soulmates according to the universe or whatever shit it is. Neither do I want a soulmate, nor do I need one. I'd rather find someone who genuinely loves me for who I am, not because of some hideous so-called soulmate bond." You just kept quiet, unsure of what to say while your heart ached terribly.

"So just move on, yeah?" he continued, staring at the clouds moving in the blue sky. "I'm sure you'll find someone who will genuinely love you." He glanced at you before leaving you all alone on the rooftop with a shattered heart.

You always wanted to find your soulmate. You wanted to experience being madly in love with the person you're fated to be with till death. But how could you do any of that when your soulmate doesn't even want you? You wondered how it was so easy for him to break your heart. Was your bond really that weak?

You sighed, blinking away the tears from your eyes. You can't and won't force your soulmate to love you back, so you should probably take his advice and try to move on.

"Wow, Yeosang, didn't know you were getting some action," San said with a smirk, confusing the man who had just finished showering.

"What are you saying?"

"No need to act oblivious, we all can see it," Wooyoung said.

"I pity our makeup artist," Seonghwa commented.

Yeosang raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. "The hickey on your neck, obviously."

Yeosang's eyebrows furrowed. He checked his reflection in the mirror, eyes widening at the big hickey on his neck and one below his collarbone.

"It's on Y/N," Yeosang said through gritted teeth, feeling extremely annoyed and hurt. His heart ached terribly. He wanted to see you right now, but it was nearly impossible. Both his and your group's promotions ended two weeks ago, and there was no way he could meet you anywhere outside due to paparazzi. He didn't even have your number.

"You look... pissed," Jongho stated.

"Well, yeah, my soulmate is fucking another man," Yeosang spat before sitting on the large couch in the living room of the dorm, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

Yunho raised an eyebrow. "Do you expect her to wait for you when you literally told her to move on?" he asked in disbelief. "And now that she has, you're pissed? That's unfair."

Yeosang sighed, remembering every word he told you. He knew Yunho was right.

"I know, but... I just can't do this anymore. The bond is torturing me. A-And," his voice cracked as tears swelled up in his eyes. "I love her. I really love her, soulmate or not."

Wooyoung sat beside Yeosang, wrapping his arms around him, letting his bestfriend cry on his shoulder. Everyone could only hope it wasn't too late for Yeosang.

"Yeosang... it's been a week. You need to come out of your room," Seonghwa murmured, kneeling beside Yeosang's bed.

"I don't feel like doing that, hyung."

Seonghwa sighed. "We have to practice for the award show tomorrow. Our manager won't let you miss practice for the third time."

Yeosang groaned, putting his blanket over his head. "Can't I miss it? Can't our company say I'm sick?"

"Absolutely not," Ateez's manager said, entering the room. "You might win a big award tomorrow. And there's a large audience, you could draw a lot of attention. Besides, Y/N's group will be there." Yeosang instantly removed the blanket from his head at the mention of your name.

"She'll be there?"

"Yeah, the final lineup got confirmed an hour ago."

Yeosang leaned in close to Jongho. "When is our break?" he whispered in Jongho's ear.

Jongho groaned. "Hyung, this is the eighth time you've asked me that in less than half an hour."

Yeosang glanced at where your group was seated; unfortunately, one of your members was covering you, so he couldn't see you. He sighed, shifting his eyes back on the group that was currently performing while he tried his best to wait patiently.

As soon as all artists were given a break, he rushed to your group's waiting room. He found only half of your members there.

"Hello," he bowed. "Where is Y/N?"

"She's in the bathroom on the second floor."

Yeosang rushed there as fast as he could, ignoring the stares he was getting from other artists and staff.

"Y/N!" he yelled once he saw you leaving the bathroom, causing you to turn around.

Yeosang now stood right in front of you, panting from the run. Your heart raced at the sight of how ethereal your soulmate looked tonight, especially in his black suit and newly dyed black hair. He was absolutely stunning.

"Can we talk, please?" Yeosang asked anxiously, hope clear in his beautiful eyes.

You couldn't say no, even though you should've. You simply nodded your head, letting him drag you to the emergency staircase in the building.

You leaned back against the wall, waiting for him to say whatever he wanted to. You noticed how he was fidgeting with his fingers while he leaned against the railing of the staircase.

"Are you okay?" you asked in concern. Your soulmate sighed, taking a few steps towards you.

"Can I hold your hand?" he questioned. When you nodded, he took your hands in his, gently rubbing circles on the back of it while he tried to calm down by taking deep breaths.

"I love you, Y/N," he confessed. "I just... can't stand the thought of you being with anyone else. It kills me to even think of it. I know I was a jerk before and I know you've moved on, but I—"

You cupped Yeosang's cheek before capturing his lips with your own, surprising him; he couldn't believe you were kissing him after everything he said. He kissed you back, his heart beating rapidly like yours. The soulmate bond between the two of you strengthened, causing a euphoric feeling.

You pulled away with a smile that grew wider when you saw how stunned and happy Yeosang was.

"I tried to move on," you explained. "But I couldn't. Not when my heart, my soul, belongs to you. I love you, Kang Yeosang."

Yeosang chuckled happily, leaning in to kiss you passionately. His heart swelled with happiness and he mentally thanked the universe for bringing the two of you together as soulmates.

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