#not very extensive but still

[canisalbus]

Machete and Vasco are so pomegranate-and-the-hand-that-slices coded. To me.

Pomegranates are seen as messy, bloody, inconvenient fruits. You slice or tear or bite and in return for your effort you come away underwhelmed, disgusted, and stained too deep to wash. The consumption of a pomegranate is a violent act of defilement, for both the fruit and the eater.

But that is because most do not understand how to open a pomegranate. They have little patience for the precise carving. They see no point in coreing the fruit gently, no reason to be reverent as they pull the quarters apart. When done correctly, opening a pomegranate leaves little mess. Your fingers will still stain, your knife will still slick, but there will be no pool of crimson drowning both you and the fruit.

The seeds are only sweet to those who understand the merit of a light hand and intricate slicing. Why put in so much effort for a food so bitter and clearly armored against consumption? Surely it must not yearn to be eaten.

(^insane about silly catholic dogs)

.

#absolutely losing my mind over this #how dare you come to my house and deliver a poignant character analysis cloaked in metaphors and symbolism #I went all day thinking about pomegranates #doing late christmas shopping? pomegranates #glazing ham? pomegranates #watching futurama with siblings? pomegranates #they're still kind of an exotic fruit where I'm from and I only got around to trying one a handful of years ago #some fruits offer themselves readily but pomegranates are hard and resistant and require a bit more specific handling #I looked up a guide and even then the kitchen counter ended up a murder scene #I've gotten better but I know some people can open them very neatly and I still haven't figured out the right technique #I love you anon I love the fact that you've clearly been rotating my silly catholic dogs in your head #and are able to put your thoughts into words with such marvelous grace and eloquence #surely it must not yearn to be eaten UNFATHOMABLE #answered #anonymous #gift art #Vasco #Machete #pomegranates are canonically one of Machete's motifs/symbols but I never thought of them from this angle #at least not this extensively

[daydreamdiaz]

I've been trying to figure out what exactly it is that bothers me about how people talk about an Eddie sexuality arc in comparison to how the bi Buck one is being discussed and I think a lot of it is the tone. Why is it that Buck 'deserves to have a soft, fun time discovering himself' but Eddie 'needs to figure his shit out'? Why does Buck need to have a separate arc* but Eddie's needs to be connected to Buck? There is a very weird undertone in how a lot of people talk about it that is almost malicious, like Eddie should be "punished" for not figuring it out sooner? Eddie is somehow singlehandedly holding his life back and needs to get over himself while Buck needs someone to help him through all his problems (and they are always problems, not issues).

* The funny thing about this is that Buck's sexuality HASN'T been separate from Eddie, like at all.

#for the record i dont think there would be anything wrong with eddie's sexuality arc being partly about buck #they are completely intertwined in each other's lives and almost all their arcs have the other one all over it #thats cool! thats compelling! #where it starts to get weird for me is how buck is still seen and treated as his own separate character while eddie is not #sometimes i wonder if it is partly because of the people that blame ryan for buddie not happening #so by extension they are also blaming eddie for it not happening #there is also a very definite racial component in how both eddie and ryan are treated that has become glaringly obvious lately #i have so many thoughts on this whole topic #eddie diaz #buddie #evan buckley #to an extent #original txt.

[mysterycitrus]

writing dick and damian’s relationship without demeaning talia and bruce challenge….. we must progress past the need for nuclear family dynamics

#i could talk about this extensively but like they are NOT a straight father-son analogy like that kid HAS PARENTS #my fave portrayal of their relationship is still gates of gotham— a slow uphill battle to respect and care that’s still very brittle #streets of gotham too like…. damian w the baseball bat #spokes #dc comics

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

[foolsocracy]

just fell to my knees

#peter: i need someone. i cant be alone for this #the world: well.. [kills said person he needs] #oh it makes me SIIICK #on an unrelated note i never realized he wore a harness #lemme jot that down real quick #spider noir #spiderman noir #spider man noir #peter benjamin parker #marvel #if i wasnt supposed to be studying for finals rn id make a very long and extensive written analysis #might still do that in fact.......... #but not rn #oooh he makes such a point to be shown as a lone wolf but he wants someone so so bad #“I CANT DO THIS BY MYSELF”

[qrichas]

btw! from twitter, some context from qforever and qcellbits convo

#qsmp #miscommunicatios bc of language barrier is gonna make me insane #as people has been saying around please take whats said in english by non native speakers with a grain of salt bc they sometimes #cant express their idea fully #qforever is very CLEAR abt what is his tought process in ptbr #but he fumbles a lot in english bc he doesnt have an extensive vocabulary to articualte well #(he even asked for cellbits help in the trial thing bc cellbit knows how to do this in english #but theire still more clear in ptbr #im asking this very nicely please consult anyone whos fluent in ptbr/esp/fr if youre a native english speaker and wants more context #before trying to come up with analysis and lore and character studies as well #bc the ccs explain to their audience in their native language important points abt their view #that can be very much lost #<- qbrs defender

[cozylittleartblog]

swatchvember: "beach episode"

an appropriate use of swatch's powers: drastically renovating the cafe every other month For Funsies! just shove a whole entire normal beach in there. why not. wear the worst outfit of your life. why not

they can't swim

#deltarune #swatchvember #swatch #swatchlings #kris #susie #queen #i mean ok they can swim but its very hard when you're Feathered and Still Clothed and got Thrown In Unexpectedly QUEEN #art #this is one of those concepts ive had sitting in my brain waiting to be microwaved and now i can microwave it #its always fun getting to look at their powers more the ability to draw things into existence is so op and they use it for the SILLIEST stu #stuff. this is probably the most extensive retheme they've done this is a completely different location #also they only drew one crab. they meant to draw more. they forgot. there is literally just One Crab #thats him there in the last one :) one crab #[falls in through the ceiling a day late] BTW MY SWATCH USES THEY/THEM PRONOUNS ONLY #january edit - the fact that i used my main blog queen tag and not the regular queen tag lmfao

[mrtequilasunset]

I dunno how long Gorący has worked at the Whirling but Garte has been there for 14 years and he's only in his late 20s so I just can't stop thinking about Gorący helping a 14/15 year old Garte with his homework during his shifts

#lawrence garte #Gorący kubek #goracy kubek #disco elysium #disco elysium art #by extension I also hc that Garte speaks a little Graadian #at least enough to communicate with goracy #despite their time together they arent very close but i think goracy is still fond of him like a son #you dont watch someone grow up like that and not feel a little fond #probably happy to see him whenever he rolls back into town #also the book hes reading is called Sieur Duke and its a play i made up for a fic i wrote with a friend #its not public tho #my art

[velvetjune]

Jesse would probably have the same reaction to Saga’s profiling as Tor or Odin, being able to directly communicate, which would lead to the best situation of both of them just staring into space while they’re silently and psychically communicating at random times

#I’m still on the hypothetical situation of Jesse and casey joining the fbc with the recommendation of kiran and ahti after Alan wake 2 #saga: [starts profiling] #Jesse: [is unfazed because it’s similar to the hotline] #saga: [tells pun] :) #Jesse: [also tells pun] :) #casey watching them silently stare at nothing for a few minutes: :) #alan wake 2 #control 2019 #saga would be the PERFECT field agent working alongside kiran and casey!! #she probably even wouldn’t have to move #tw for drinking #but ive had some drinks so might delete this in the morning if it seems incoherent #but this is just an extension of my other post 😤 I believe it can happen 😤 #on a similar note will control 2 have Jesse be the main playable character? #it’d be hard to make her be SO powerful from the very start of the game #so maybe it would have someone else be the playable character? since Jesse is almost undefeatable now? it’s complicated #either way I want more saga and casey working together.. I’ll genuinely be so sad if Alan wake 2 was the most they’d have focus in #saga anderson #jesse faden #also would control 2 take place before or after Alan wake 2 ? #if it’s before there will definitely not be saga joining the 😭 #*the fbc

[4lph4kidz]

i was thinking about your dirk and hal poll and i want to mention that i think your concept for ink and iron where dirk creates hal from his reflection by enchanting a mirror is so cool 😌

thank you! hal's predicament and purpose within the canon narrative is so fascinating and i felt it was really important to find a way to explore what i find most interesting with him. i can't take full credit for the concept though i took inspiration from a few placees (one of my friends pitched the idea of the mirror accidentally dumping him onto jake's doorstop for example) but overall i think the idea is very fun and i'm really excited to write more hal stuff!!! also i'm going to take the opportunity to share this oldish doodle i found:

the mispelling of angel as angle was NOT intentional (<- dyslexia haver) but it probably explains a lot. he's pointy

#obviously an AU is going to be different from canon #but i like AUs specifically *because* i have a lot of fun trying to translate canon ideas into another setting or genre in general #in this case its a riff on the fairy tale magic mirror #hal is still an experiment gone wrong/artificial being created to serve a purpose trapped in a non-physical form and denied personhood #as well as being an extension of dirk's selfhood and very literal expression of his self image #this time with extra gender problems as per my original intentions for the fic. which now feel more than a bit heavy handed but whatever #point is hal gets to play up the trapped demon/spirit/almost genie-esque angle isntead of the artificial intelligence schtick in canon #which i am having a lot of fun writing! #he is also a very important plot device. multitalented 💕 #for anyone wondering i&i is NOT an abandoned project its just huge and whipping it into shape is slow going #i've taken breaks to work on other stuff too #ink and iron #i guess that's a tag i should start using #even though i'm not too happy with the title still. lmao

[canisalbus]

what part of italy are machete and vasco from? not their birthplace since from what i've seen you're still workshopping that. where do they live? i assume rome?

In the 1500's setting Vasco lives and was born in Florence, his family has lived there for centuries. Machete was born in Sicily, was taken to Naples to serve as an apprentice and ended up living and working in Rome (and more specifically today's Vatican city, which as you may know has been an independent country since 1929 but wasn't back then). They first met when they were both studying in Venice in their late teens/early twenties.

I think in the modern au they live together somewhere in Florence.

#characters travelling this extensively at the time #from one end of the country to another #may not be very realistic but it's more fun to include a variety of interesting historical locations #let me be greedy and self indulgent for a moment #(not to mention that Italy wasn't unified until late 1800's and was instead made of various states kingdoms and duchies #that didn't always get along with each other that well and were culturally and linguistically diverse #and some of them were actually ruled Spain and Austria for example) #I say this as lovingly as possible but the history of Italian peninsula as a whole is just a real clusterfuck #I feel like I still haven't wrapped my head around it adequately to be explaining any of this to you #but please be patient with me I promise I'm trying my best #answered #anonymous

[himejoshikaeya]

hmmm i wish more people actually talked about how kaeya is a non-white refugee being raised by a white family in a predominantly white nation. in my personal opinion, i feel like everyone should read up on trans racial adoption, bc it plays a huge role in kaeya and the way they see not only themselves, but also khananeriah as well -- it'll also add a lot more nuance to many "ragnvindr brothers" interpretations, and why many people may feel uncomfortable with using ragbros as a label. this isn't anti ragbros / kaeya and diluc being siblings or anything, however all i ask for, is for people to actually acknowledge kaeyas culture and racial identity. idk i need to go shower lol

#cacophony of kaliya #kaeya #genshin #ragbros #imo i feel like many interpretations of ragbros (and by extension crepus + kaeya as well) come off as very white savioury #kaeya is still an alberich and that should be respected #that doesnt mean that she and diluc arent siblings or anything #but you must still respect kaeyas heritage too #her Khananerian side is just as important as her mondstadtian side #and i just wish that people understood that yk?

[copepods]

less gentle nurturing protective goddess c!kristin more amoral fickle petty divine being c!kristin who cares little for the affairs of mortals aside from her chosen favorites. more c!kristin who destroys lives with a flick of the wrist without sparing a thought, not out of malice but pure carelessness, as gods are wont to do

#when characters are immortal i think that fucks them up so so much esp when theyre also very powerful #kristin and phils relationship is very emotionally intense partially because kristin literally has No One Else to connect to. #so shes very attached to him and to his family by extension but really doesnt give a damn about anyone else #it makes her a very efficient death god to be fair. #she IS protective of her people (the dead) but only out of the expectation that theyre Her property and no one elses #so when xd starts messing with the realm of the dead she gets pissy. but not out of actual care for the people affected you know #i just idk. really like stories where the affairs of gods are on such a totally different plane to the affairs of mortals #and that gods might not be Trying to kill people but they still do #the same way most people step on ants without meaning to #also yes it's a class metaphor. lol #text #mcyt

[coquelicoq]

what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.

#the other thing i love about it is that in a very real sense it's his actor day job that is his alter ego #being an exorcist is his normie job. he's just a famous celebrity on the side #which isn't that uncommon in secret identity setups but it's still very funny #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi #natsuyuu meta #my posts #f #i think probably the actual answer is that acting was a very natural career choice because he already masks so extensively #both to hide that he can see things other people can't (and that youkai exist and that he exorcises them) #and to hide what he's really feeling so that no one can use it against him #so if it's already something he has to do & he's good at it...why not have someone tell him exactly how to do it & get paid for it? #and the other part of the answer is that most ppl don't go into acting assuming they'll get famous. the fame was a side effect #so each decision as it was being made probably made perfect sense. but put them all together #and you have this hilarious assortment of elements that seem to directly contradict each other #okay also i would be remiss if i didn't mention the other possible answer which is that the attention came first and was unavoidable #and the acting developed from the need to protect himself from the attention that he was going to be attracting no matter what he did #because he's so beautiful. and (in the exorcist world specifically) because he's the last of the natori #the more i talk about it the more i'm like no becoming a famous actor was the only path that made any sense for him lol #1) he's gonna be watched no matter what bc he's him -> gotta figure out how to hide his secrets -> learn to act as self-defense #or 2) he's got secrets -> he's gotten a lot of practice hiding them -> hey you could make a career out of this! #all roads lead to actor natori shuuichi. and since he's beautiful...all roads lead to FAMOUS actor natori shuuichi #i love it when i ramble so much in the tags that i end up contradicting my own post lol #he's neither thinking ten steps ahead nor is he irrational. he's simply making sensible individual decisions #that follow logically from what is available to him and what his priorities are

[front-facing-pokemon]

#maned pyroar under the cut #pyroar #by extension don't really like this pokémon either but #i guess it's better than litleo. although still kinda boring imo. cool mane but a very generic Fire Lion design i feel like #really the low point of gen 6. and i know! some of you like this guy! but i'm just. it's a me issue

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.