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sailortongue · 8 months

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Sweet Tooth

pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

wc: 4.5k

summary: spencer finds himself frequenting a local donut establishment for more reasons than one. his sweet tooth isn't limited to just pastries and he bets you'd taste delicious

cw: oral (fem receiving), fingering. pls pls pls let me know if i missed smth but i think those are the only major things

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It was widely known that Spencer was fond of overly sweet coffee, but his sweet tooth was not limited to just his morning pick-me-up. The team had recently wrapped up with a rather grueling case, and he thought he’d surprise them all with donuts that morning. So there he was, in the local donut shop, staring at what must have been the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. The way the early morning light shone in through the windows and illuminated you was truly breathtaking. Try as he might, he stumbled over the order, embarrassing himself in front of you and surely ruining his chances of you liking him.

You could tell he was flustered, so you did your best to suppress your giggles. He was cute. Very cute. This was the first time you had seen him come into the store, and you were hoping it wasn’t the last. He paid for his order and you boxed it up, receiving a shy smile from him as you handed it to him. “Thank you,” he said, before turning and walking out quickly, the bell above the door chiming.

It was a little over a week before you saw him again. He greeted you with a “good morning” as he walked in and approached the counter.

“Good morning!” you said back cheerily, glad to see that he had returned. He scanned the selection of confections before selecting a chocolate donut with sprinkles.

“Huh, I thought you’d be more of a donut hole kind of guy,” you said, trying to make conversation with the handsome man.

He laughed a bit and shook his head. “No, chocolate and sprinkles are definitely the best. They've been my favorite since I was a kid.”

“Oh yeah? I think if I was to pick a favorite it would have to be the apple fritter.”

Not missing the chance to learn about you, even if it was just your favorite donut, he asked, “Why that one? Not that it's a bad choice, but most people seem to prefer the chocolate and glazed.”

You laughed and Spencer swore his heart melted right then and there. “Well, they're my dad’s favorite. And every time he had one he would split it between us. So not only is it delicious, but it reminds me of my childhood.”

He smiled at your wholesome reason and before he could stop himself he said, “That’s really cute.”

You blushed, consumed with the thought that he considered something about you was cute, even if it was something so minor as to why your favorite donut is what it is. God, you didn't even know his name and there you were, developing a crush. Your eyes met his, and you were awestruck at how warm and inviting they looked. He had these expressive brown eyes that you could get lost in if you allowed yourself to. You shook your head from your thoughts, realizing you were probably freaking him out. He was just here for a donut and here you were staring at him like some creep. You hadn’t even bagged it for him yet. Pull yourself together you chastised yourself internally, finally breaking eye contact and doing your job like a normal person.

When you handed him the bag he briefly glanced down at your name tag. “Thanks, Yn,” he said, giving you a small smile. What a pretty name, he thought.

“No problem, have a good day…” you trailed off, hoping he would introduce himself. It was only fair since he knew your name.

“Spencer,” he filled in for you.

“Spencer,” you repeated. “I’ll have to remember that for next time.”

–❀–

Next time turned out to be three days later. You were back in the kitchen, not expecting a customer to be there so early until you heard the bell chime. “I’ll be right there!” you called out. You quickly rinsed your hands and were still drying them on a towel when you walked out to see a familiar mop of brown hair. “Spencer! Good morning!”

He chuckled, “Good morning, Yn.”

“Chocolate with sprinkles?” you asked, remembering his favorite.

“You remembered?”

“You’re beginning to become a regular, and I make it a point to memorize those orders.”

Spencer’s smile dropped a bit, somewhat disheartened that it was something you did for all customers and not just him.

You didn’t notice the slight change in his expression and continued, deciding to take a chance. “Plus, it’s hard to forget the cute customers.”

Spencer’s face instantly flushed crimson, all logical thought leaving him. So much for his high IQ. His mouth opened and closed again, desperately trying to formulate some sort of response. But Spencer couldn't even think straight. His thoughts were in a flurry and every single one was about you.

Seeing his reaction, you backpedaled as fast as you could. “I’m sorry. That was too forward of me. I don’t know why I said that. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable—”

“It’s perfectly alright.” He cut off your frantic apology. “You didn't make me uncomfortable at all. I’m actually quite flattered that you find me as attractive as I find you.”

It was your turn to be speechless. When his words fully sunk in, you couldn't stop the wide smile and giggle that bubbled forth. This man was going to be the death of you. “So, uh,” he started nervously, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, “I was wondering if I could get your number?”

You beamed at him. “Yes, of course!” You went to the register and rang him up, writing your phone number on his receipt before handing it to him. He dialed it into his phone, and you heard your phone ringing faintly from the break room where you had left it. “There,” he said. “Now you have my number, too.”

–❀–

Your morning rendezvous with Spencer quickly became the highlight of your week. He was always dressed professionally, and you finally decided to ask him where he worked. The two of you talked about nearly everything under the sun, so you were shocked when you came to the realization that you didn't even know what he did for work.

The next time he came in, you practically ambushed him with your question. His eyes widened in surprise, “Oh, I’m an agent with the BAU. Did I not tell you that?”

“No, you did not. What’s the BAU?”

“It stands for behavioral analysis unit. It’s a department of the FBI. We analyze the unsub’s-”

“Unsub?” you interrupted.

“Unidentified subject. So what we do is analyze the unsub’s actions and behavior and create a profile to better understand how and why they do what they do. This is what allows us to determine the identity of the unsub and arrest them.”

Your jaw had dropped open during his explanation. The guy you’d been casually talking to turned out to be an FBI agent. Cute and badass.

Becoming shy from the attention, he changed the subject to something he’d been wanting to ask you. “So, Yn, would you be interested in meeting somewhere other than here? When you're not at work and I don't have to go to my own job?”

Your face flushed with heat, and your heart pounded in your chest. “Like a date?”

Trusting that your hopeful expression was a good indication, Spencer nodded. “Yeah, like a date.”

The bright smile you gave him at his confirmation would live in Spencer’s mind for the rest of the day.

“I’m free this weekend,” you suggested.

–❀–

And just like that, it became a routine for Spencer to visit the shop at least once a week. He began to find himself getting up earlier and earlier each day just so he could stay and talk with you for longer. The physical attraction was instant from the first moment he saw you, but now that he was truly getting to know you he was falling and falling fast. You had this light about you that Spencer couldn't put into words, even with his impressive vocabulary.

Reid’s highly observant coworkers were quick to notice his frequent morning donut runs. He never ate them at the shop, choosing to use that time to visit with you. Instead, he waited until he got to the office so he could enjoy the sweet goodness with his daily cup of coffee. And today was no exception.

“All those donuts are going to catch up with you one day, Reid,” Prentiss teased. “You can't be skinny forever.”

“So be it. She's worth it,” replied Spencer, taking another bite, sprinkles falling onto the napkin he’d placed on his desk.

“She?” Morgan raised his brows, a grin spreading across his face as he turned in his chair to face the young doctor.

Spencer’s eyes widened and he nearly choked on his food, trying to figure out a way to take back his slip of the tongue. “I meant they. They’re worth it. The donuts.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. So what’s her name?”

Spencer sighed. “Yn.” That was all he said as he pulled his paperwork towards himself. No point in denying it when they were already certain.

“Woah, woah, you can't just leave it at that! Tell us about her. What's she like and how did you meet? Spill everything.”

Spencer merely took another bite of his donut, a smug smirk on his face for withholding the information his colleagues were so curious about.

For the rest of the day, Morgan and Prentiss attempted to convince Spencer to divulge his sweet secret. After another failed attempt, it finally hit Morgan, and he had to admit he felt very silly for it. He waited until Spencer left on his lunch break before he approached Emily’s desk.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked.

“What’s up is that Hotch should probably reconsider our positions on the team,” he joked. “The donut bag. It’s in Reid’s personal mini trash can under his desk. All we have to do is look at it real quick and we’ll know exactly which shop he goes to!”

Emily laughed, amused how it took so long for one of them to think of that. “Then what are we waiting for? Let's go dig in the doctor’s trash.”

They both stood and went over to Spencer’s desk. Morgan reached under and pulled out the small trash can, plucking the crumpled bag from the top. As he flattened the bag back out, a voice startled the two of them and they spun around in unison, like two kids that had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“Why are you two digging in the kid’s trash?”

“Reid has a girl in his life and if he wont tell us then we’re gonna find out ourselves. She’s either a regular at this place—” he held up the bag, displaying the logo for Rossi to see, “—or she works there.”

“Hm. I see. Carry on, then,” was all he said before continuing on his way.

The younger agents turned their attention back to what they were digging for. “Meche’s Donuts,” they both read aloud.

“Pretty sure that’s close to Reid’s place. Y’know, I think some donuts tomorrow morning would be great, don’t you?”

“Now that you say it, yeah, donuts would be good. Meet you there at 8:00?”

“You bet.” He recrumpled the bag and replaced the trash can as it was.

When Reid returned, he didn't notice the look his friends exchanged and was none the wiser.

–❀–

The next morning, both Emily and Derek got up earlier than usual and met in the parking lot of Meche’s. They approached the building, and Derek held open the door for Emily, the bell chiming to notify you of a customer’s arrival.

“Good morning!” you greeted like usual.

They returned your greeting as they neared the counter, both of their sights narrowing in on your name tag: Yn.

“Has a guy named Spencer Reid been here today?” Morgan asked, never one to beat around the bush.

“No, do you know him?” You asked curiously.

“Yeah, we’re friends of his. We noticed that his sweet tooth has been getting the better of him lately. Lots of donuts,” he smirked, gesturing down to the transparent display. “Pretty boy had a bit of a slip up and told us that it was because of a girl, but wouldn’t tell us anything else. So we decided to do a bit of sleuthing.”

“And here we are,” finished Emily. “I’m Agent Emily Prentiss and this is Agent Derek Morgan. Promise we’re not creeps, this is just the first time we’ve known him to have a crush on someone and we wanted to know what you looked like. He’s got good taste at least.”

You laughed good-naturedly, “Don't worry about it. We have a date scheduled for this weekend actually.”

Emily ooohed like a schoolgirl. “You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I’m dying to know. What is Spencer’s idea of a date? Bet he takes you to a bookstore.”

“Or a foreign movie,” interjected Morgan. “With no subtitles, so he can whisper the translations in your ear.”

–❀–

Saturday

You were getting ready for your date with Spencer when you heard your phone ring. The caller ID told you that it was Spencer calling and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I was just calling to let you know I’m on my way.”

“Ok, perfect! I’m almost done getting ready. You remember the address?”

He laughed. “Of course I remember. There’s not much I don’t remember.”

“Oh, my bad Dr. Reid. We can't all be super geniuses with an eidetic memory.”

The two of you talked and joked with each other until Spencer told you that he was parking and would be up in a moment to meet you at the door. All you had to do was quickly slip your shoes on and you were ready.

Three sharp raps sounded from the door, and you peeked through the peephole before unlocking the door and swinging it open.

He seemed stunned for a second, just taking in your appearance. “Wow,” was all he could think to say. “You look beautiful.”

“And you look very handsome,” you returned the compliment. And he did, as always. He was probably the only guy you knew who could pull off a sweater vest. He may dress like an old man, but damn did he make it work.

Turns out that he picked out some hole in the wall diner you’d never even heard of. But he swore by their food and claimed it was some of the best in town. Also that they made a mean bread pudding. A broad smile overtook his features when he saw your eyes light up at the mention of the dessert. He’d recalled from a previous conversation that it was your favorite and had made sure to choose a restaurant that had it on the dessert menu.

The meal was spent indulging in a lively conversation about all of your favorite books. He even suggested a book exchange; he’d load you his favorite, and you’d loan him yours. Though you did warn him that you might have to pick up a new copy first, as yours was particularly old and practically on the verge of disintegrating in your hands.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” he said.

“No, it is!” you insisted. “The last time I read it I looked down and there were a bunch of particles on my lap from the pages.”

After picking up the check at the diner, Spencer informed you that there was a movie he wanted to take you to. “It’s a Russian movie, and I’m not sure if there’s subtitles or not, but I can whisper the translations for you. But I definitely think you’ll enjoy the plot.”

You thought back to what Morgan said when he and Emily visited you. Morgan: 1, Emily: 0.

Turns out, there were, in fact, subtitles. However, Spencer claimed those weren't very accurate to the tone of the movie and chose to give you his own translations anyway. In order to not disturb other movie goers, he had to lean in to whisper, so close that his lips would occasionally brush the shell of your ear. If not for the fact you were already sitting, you thought your knees would have given out. The low timbre of his voice traveled straight from your eardrum all the way to your core. You tried to pay attention to the movie, you really did, but the gentle rasp of Spencer’s voice in your ear had you beyond distracted. He was so close. Between the close proximity and his voice, your panties were quickly becoming uncomfortably sticky which led you to squirm in your seat occasionally.

Spencer, the hyper-observant profiler that he was, noticed your pitiful attempts to adjust the way you were sitting. “Are you ok?” he asked, interrupting his translation mid sentence.

“Yes!” you answered hurriedly. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You cleared your throat nervously and hoped he would let it go. You could see a slight frown form on his face before it looked as if a metaphorical lightbulb went off over his head.

He resumed his position near your face, once again whispering to you, but not translations this time. No, this time it was as if a switch had flipped inside the sweet man you’d become so fond of. “If I didn't know any better, I’d say you like having me so close to you. Isn't that right, Yn?”

The way he whispered your name so sensually had your heart beating out of your chest and your breath hitching in response. His laughter came out as a huff, trying to stay quiet. “Think you can wait until the end of the movie?” he asked with a suggestive lilt to his words.

You both knew the answer, but you pretended to think about it in an effort to spare at least some of your dignity. “No,” you answered with your head down, almost ashamed at how easily Spencer had riled you up.

“‘No’ what? Use your words, sweetheart.”

To hell with your dignity. “No, I can't wait. I want you now.”

He grabbed your hand and pulled you up from your seat as he stood. He led you out the doors and to the parking lot, heading straight for his car.

“Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” he answered swiftly as he put his hand on the back of your seat to back out of the parking spot.

The ride to his apartment was spent mostly in silence, both of you tense for all the best reasons. At one of the red lights he’d made the bold move to relocate one of his hands from the steering wheel to your left thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth and gently squeezing it every now and then. Every squeeze sent a bolt of electricity to your center and you were getting needier by the second.

–❀–

As soon as his apartment door shut behind him, his mouth was on yours, lips crashing together in a heated kiss. With both hands on either side of your face, he licked the seam of your lips impatiently, wanting nothing more than to taste you. You obliged, and his tongue snaked its way into your mouth, intertwining with yours. He groaned into the kiss, unable to get enough of you. Pulling away from your lips, he kissed down your jaw and neck slowly, deliberately. Taking his time to leave dark marks in his wake. He took a deep breath in through his nose. “You have no idea what this perfume was doing to me at the movie. Could barely even translate for you,” he mumbled into your skin.

“Bedroom?” you asked, near breathless with anticipation but not particularly wanting to get fucked in his entryway.

He led you through his apartment to his bedroom where Spencer wasted no time reconnecting his lips to yours, backing you up until the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed, prompting you to sit. Before you could lay down, his hands tugged on the hem of your shirt. “Let’s get this off of you, hm?”

He made quick work of the cloth and tossed it aside “God, you're so pretty. Lay down for me, sweetheart,” he said. You flushed and did as he told you, scooting yourself higher up on the bed before laying your head onto his pillows. He removed both his sweater vest and shirt before eagerly crawling atop you. He propped himself up on his elbows, his face aligned with yours. You impatiently leaned up to kiss him again, and you could feel him grinning into the harsh kiss before kissing you back. His hands wandered across your body, settling on your breasts. You moaned into his mouth and pressed your chest further into his large hands, your hips bucking up, seeking the friction you so desperately wanted.

He chuckled, removing his hands from your breasts to your hips and holding them down, preventing you from moving them and eliciting a whine from you. “Patience, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you. Promise.” His voice was low and gravelly, his lips pressed against the skin just under the skin of your earlobe. He suckled the skin lightly as one hand came up behind your back, unclasping your bra and giving it the same treatment he gave your shirt. He pulled back and groaned at the sight of seeing you half naked beneath him. This felt like a dream come true to Spencer and it was taking everything he had to not throw his inhibitions out the window and ravish you right that second.

He groped your bare chest for a moment before leaning down to lick a stripe between them. He placed feather-light kisses across your skin, his hair falling over his face and tickling you where it brushed. His trail of kisses led him to one of your nipples, which he took in his mouth, sucking lightly. You gasped when he used his teeth to pull on it slightly. “Spencer!”

While his mouth was busy with one, he had a hand on the other, tweaking the bud between his nimble fingers. You raked your hands through his hair, holding him in place. The tug on his roots had Spencer groaning into your chest and increasing the intensity of his ministrations and suckling you more and more fervently with each tug of his hair and sweet moan from your lips. Satisfied, he released your bud with a slight pop and switched to the other side, determined to make you squirm and beg for him before he touched you properly. The hand that wasn't on your breast lowered from your waist to your hip, massaging the supple flesh.

“Please, Spencer,” you begged, needing so much more than he was currently giving you. You were aching for him, panties soaked with evidence of your want.

He released your nipple and tilted his head to look at your face, both of your pupils blown wide with lust. He cooed at you, “What does my pretty girl need? Tell me, and it’s yours.”

“You!” you cried. “I want you! Please, Spencer!”

He groaned, the sound low and guttural. “You already have me. I was yours from the first moment I laid eyes on you.” Your eyes softened from his words, and you watched him as he tilted his head back down, tracing his nose down your abdomen as he lowered himself further down the bed, his hands caressing your sides as he did so. He placed a chaste kiss just above the waistband of your bottoms before hooking his fingers under it. “May I?”

You nodded frantically, and he placed another kiss in the same spot as he pulled your shorts and panties down together, tantalizingly slowly. Finally seeing you completely bare before him had him nearly cumming in his pants on the spot. You were so perfect and he wanted to make you feel so good that the only name you knew was his. He ran his hands up your thighs and settled his head between them. “You're absolutely dripping for me, sweetheart.” Spencer was practically panting from the lust flowing through his veins. He placed a chaste kiss to your clit before tentatively licking your cunt. You let out a strangled moan, his hot tongue not providing near enough pressure.

“Don’t tease me, Spence,” you mewled, your hands weakly trying to push his head back down where you needed him.

“Savoring, baby, not teasing. I don’t want to forget a single moment of this.” With that said, he licked a broad stripe across your pussy, much more confident than the first time. He wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked harshly, groaning into you. You cried out his name, grip on his hair tightening. “Fuck, you taste so good,” he said breathlessly before diving back in, slurping at you like a man starved. He hummed with bliss as he continued to eat you out, the vibrations adding to the stimulation. “So sweet, baby, oh my God,” he praised. He lifted your legs and placed them over his shoulders, pressing himself further into you as he wrapped his arms around your thighs.

It was all you could do to keep from screaming his name as he continued to lick and suck at the most intimate part of you. You thrashed in his hold, overwhelmed with the pleasure he was giving you. He tightened his hold on your thighs, holding you open so he could continue to drink you in. He swore he would never be able to get enough of you. If this was the last thing he ever did then he'd die a happy man.

“C’mon, sweetheart, cum on my face. Give it to me. I want it,” he grunted. Without warning, he plunged a finger into you, causing you to cry out. He added a second finger shortly after, and he relished in the way your walls were squeezing around his fingers. You were so close and it was all because of him. With his fingers thrusting in and out of you and his mouth on your clit, you were finally pushed over the edge, cumming with a scream of Spencer’s name. He didn't stop until you were practically shoving him away, the overstimulation becoming too much. His face was covered in your juices, and you watched with rapt attention as he licked his lips before wrapping them around the two digits still covered with your wetness, sucking them clean and groaning at the taste as he did it.

Yeah, Spencer Reid definitely had a sweet tooth.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid smut

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starfxkr · 2 months

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oo what are the girls favorite types of swimsuits and what are they having in their beachbag!!!

i want you to know i spent 20-30 mins of my hair appointment working on this bc i love this question sm

kitten

kitten has copious amonts of bikini tops but always loses the bottoms some how so very mix and match but it doesnt bother her bc she wears her shorts most the time lots of halters in black, cheetah print or like dark blue/denim. minimal patterns, the american flag bikini was initially a joke but she thought she looked cunt so now its in constant rotation. avoids string bottoms bc jj pulls them at the worst fucking moments.

her bag is filled with fuckin junk and its burstinggg at the seams and she jokes that shes turning into her mama with the broken cigarettes in the bottom 😭 she has nothing useful at all: sunglasses, weed, lip gloss, car keys and crumpled up dollars for an ice cream cone or something. her idea of a beach read is carrie and she has a clip on mp3 player shes kept since middle school

pup

pup os very colorful and comfy with little details. prefers crochet bikinis and matching sets because she wants the whole look to be cute!!! is not afraid of the tankini okay it makes her titties look good! loves floral and gingham print the most. goes for a triangle cut more than anything but doesnt mind a bandeau or a scoop on occasion. wears lots of coverup skirts when walking around. john bs favorite is the yellow gingham one because of the little keyhole in the middle and pokes her there to annoy her.

is actually responsible at the beach since she spends so much time there. has water, and sandwiches and sunscreen because she freckles and her best friend already smokes cigarettes she wants one less cancer for her to worry about LMAO. keeps her wallet on her at all times and loves a good spray of body mist just in case she ends up at a party.

bunny

her swimsuits are tiny, expensive and very very pink. somehow managed an archival dior monogramed bikini??? loves stringy little things that tie in the front to fuck with rafe and flash him. also likes ruffles and scalloped hems she feels like theyre super girly and doesn’t wear many one pieces but the one she has cups her tits real nice but manages to seem modest at first glance. all patterened in cutesy girly patterns

is less of a beach girl and more of a pool girl but she packs accordingly each time (well rafe packs most of it.) her selections impractical: body shimmer, perfume, lip gloss. but his are more realistic with sunscreen, her favorite pop, camera because she loves to force him to take pictures, towel, extra pair of shoes.

fox

unsurprisingly fox is very no fuss with her swimsuits but that doesnt mean she doesnt look good ukwim? mostly one pieces because she finds em more comfortable but will make them a scoop back to show some skin and looks soooo cunt in the brown tankini and knows it LOL. likes a bandeau one piece too and her choices normally arent patterned but likes browns, purples. looks fuckin stun in the red one piece legit made popes jaw drop and she teased him for it for weeks.

carries at least two books because she reads fast and wants options. has extra sandals and is the only pogue to bring a beach towel 😭 her wallet is her grandmas old cigarette case. carries sunscreen and a hat for practicality and packs a whole lunch because she hates spending money.

#✨.txt #kitten!reader #puppy!reader #bunny!reader #fox!reader #visuals

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naamahdarling · 5 months

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Do you have a favorite musical?

If so, what are your favorite lyrics from it, and why?

ALW's CATS.

Is it a surreal mess? Yes! But I love it before everything else.

The lyrics are silly but very clever. Most are at least partly by TS Eliot, drawn from a wonderfully nonsensical book of poems.

I think my favorite song is the Invitation to the Jellicle Ball, neck and neck with Mr Mistoffelees.

My favorite cat is Mistoffelees by a lot, followed by the Rum Tum Tugger. They are in love.

But the part that makes me feel the most in my heart is Grizabella. The only cat I relate to is Grizabella.

Memory is the big number that everyone knows and I do absolutely love it, it's one of my favorite songs and probably the best in the musical as it was before CATS 2019 introduced a new song, but I feel that out of context it simply doesn't have punch. It gets trotted out to showcase a singer's skill, as a bit of a tearjerker if you're a sentimental person. It is so much more than that.

I didn't understand Grizabella properly until I was well and truly an adult and had taken in multiple cats off the street, and lived near a colony, and watched my own cats become frail, which are all painful things in many ways; AND until I had begun to really feel the weight of my marginalization as a disabled person and an ill person, which means confronting almost daily the fact that I am unlikely to come to the sort of end I would like.

Hold on because I'm going to be unhinged about this cat for a minute.

Grizabella is an aged stray, once welcomed, now abandoned and unloved, considered ugly even by others like her (who are shown to supposedly accept differences and value, or at least respect, most everyone...but not her).

She lives in a haunted, lonely state unacknowledged by anyone except to be driven away. She can no longer care for herself, she is filthy and matted and scarred and probably in a lot of pain, she is starving, and she has nothing but her memories of better times, and every single dawn is both a gift and a miserable curse. She gets to remember. She has to remember.

If you watch, Grizabella is onstage a LOT, she's just off in the background, usually poorly lit, where she tries to mirror the dances happening on the main part of the stage, dances she knows because that was once her, there in the spotlight, shining. But now she's in too much pain to dance and her body isn't working right anymore. I have no doubt Grizabella is dying. The question is whether she will get to do that well, comforted and with dignity, or do it badly and alone.

I cannot HANDLE Grizabella.

If you have even the tiniest inkling of love for cats, if you believe every cat's life is worth something, her story should destroy you.

The legendary Jennifer Hudson's performance in the movie brought a really angry and confrontational turn to her, and it was flat out amazing. A rebuke of a performance. It really hurts to watch but it's what the role has always needed. She isn't just weak and sad, she clings to the tatters of her dignity and is angry that the others don't see her as a whole person. Just a miserable shadow to be avoided. A cautionary tale. We are never told what terrible thing she did to deserve her fall, and given that most of the Jellicles are young, I don't know that any of them really remember.

I will physically fight anyone who says she should not have been selected to ascend to a new life. She was the only choice. Even Gus. Even him. He can have his turn next year. Grizabella does not have another year in her.

And I'm going to make some folks mad but I love the 2019 movie (it's bad) and the new song, Beautiful Ghosts, is amazing, and I DO prefer Taylor Swift's version as the movie version is a little more timid (fitting the role and musical way better) but TS fucking BELTS IT and I get chills every time.

The lyrics are incredible and the song is gorgeous, gorgeous. And strung together with Grizabella's song, it finishes the musical in a way that it was a bit unfinished before. It uses an actual full song to connect Grizabella to the Ball and the Choice more directly than any choreography ever did or could:

Victoria, the White Cat and viewpoint character, still almost a kitten, has been dumped in the street and into a terrifying and beautiful new life.

After being swept up into its wonder, she sees Grizabella, utterly rejected, hissed at, made fun of, despised, and aches with the injustice of it -- Victoria was snatched right up by the other cats the instant her paws hit the ground, but nobody will take in Grizabella. Not even her own kind.

Victoria sees how strangely similar they are and feels a kinship that has no pity in it at all, but wonder and respect.

So Victoria sings this new song expressing the first admiration Grizabella has heard in god alone knows how long, reminding her she has had an amazing life worth envy and renown, and she pulls this horrible decrepit old mess of a cat into the Jellicle Ball, where she is FINALLY relieved of her pain.

Like? I'm crying right now?

It isn't a serious musical, but Grizabella's story runs through it like a cold current, something real and terrible, surrounded by absolute ridiculousness. Her numbers are deadly serious, never played for laughs. And ultimately it is her story that turns out to be the most important one, the truest one, and it is dark, and it is hopeful but only in only the most painful and grief-stricken way. She isn't brought back into a comfortable life with other cats to be happy and surrounded by love. She essentially...dies and goes to cat heaven. She embodies hope itself to the others, and her ascension represents a deeply humbling lesson in humility and grace. Her suffering and her ascent represent the possible future of every one of them, and now they have to confront that, and their treatment of her. She was rewarded, and for all their beauty and charm they were not.

Anyway I'm not normal about it.

The lyrics from Beautiful Ghosts that I love are:

Perilous night, their voices calling. A flicker of light, before the dawning. Out here the wild ones are taming the fear within me. Scared to call them my friends and be broken again. Is this hope just a mystical dream?

and

And so maybe my home Isn't what I had known, what I thought it would be. But I feel so alive With these phantoms of night, and I know that this life isn't safe but it's wild and it's free!

Like, come on. It's a lovely song and it took my breath away in the theater.

Ugh this musical touched me as a feral cat girl of 10 and it touches me again as a sad catguy in their 40s. Truly a very stupid work of weirdly meaningful art and one for the ages.

There are much better musicals, but none of them are part of me.

#cats the musical #grizabella

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skyward-floored · 6 months

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Whumptober Day 18: Blindfold, Tortured for information

So today’s is actually a little goofier, and a bit of zelink snuck in, but hey! It’s nice to mix things up 👍

I also had the prompt “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened” in mind while writing this and you can tell lol

Read on ao3

Warnings: injury, blood, concussion, torture-y elements.

————————————————————

Warriors couldn’t see.

He grunted in frustration, trying to rub his face on his arm so he could knock his blindfold loose, but no matter what he did, the coarse fabric stayed where it had been tied while he was unconscious.

He was sore, his head ached from where it had been struck, and his arms hurt where they were bound behind him, but the lack of sight was what was bothering him the most, not being able to see making his skin crawl.

It... bothered him more than he would prefer to admit.

“Hero.”

Warriors stiffened, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. Multiple sets of footsteps echoed around the chair he’d been tightly bound to, making the sound difficult to pinpoint, but he could tell when a pair of them stopped right next to him.

“You have something we want,” the voice continued from much closer, and Warriors let out a chuckle.

“Oh yeah? Well you already took all my stuff, if you can’t find whatever it is, then that’s on you.”

Something connected with his ribs, and Warriors let out a grunt, unable to brace himself since he couldn’t see the blow coming. So it’s going to be like that, is it?

“What we want isn’t an item,” a different voice said, sounding annoyed. Good. “It’s information, that only a select few are in possession of.”

“Are you going to just keep me in suspense, or tell me what you want already?” Warriors drawled, and he expected it this time when he was struck again, even harder.

It still hurt though.

“Listen well, Hero, I will not repeat myself,” the first voice growled, and Warriors froze as a hand grabbed his face. Nails dug into his chin, and he hissed in pain. “We want to hear everything you know about Princess Zelda.”

Warriors felt his blood run cold.

“...What?” he asked, and bit back a cry as another hit landed on his middle. At this rate they’re going to break something.

“Princess Zelda. You work closely with her, you must know all of her powers, her weaknesses,” the voice snapped, releasing his face. “We want to know it all.”

“And why on earth would I tell you anything?” Warriors growled, and the voice went silent.

“Because you have no choice.”

Warriors’ head snapped back as a blow hit his face, and before he could even begin to recover, something sharp was pressed to his cheek, the tip of what had to be a dagger sending a little spark of fear through his chest.

“Fine! Fine you want to know about Z— the princess?” he said, and the knife eased a bit. “Okay. Well first of all, she’s great with basically every weapon she picks up, sword, bow, spear, she can do it all. She always wears pink but her favorite color is actually blue, about the color of my scarf which you’ve so kindly taken from me actually, she’s one of the best musicians I’ve ever heard, her eyes sparkle like Lake Hylia on a clear day, and when she sings, wow you fellas are missing out, oh, and Zelda isn’t her full name, it’s actually Princess Zelda Artemisa Lyra—��

“Shut up!” Someone roared, and the knife dug a line right below the blindfold across Warriors’ face.

He cried out in spite of himself, pain burning across his cheeks and nose, and the hand grabbed his chin again, sharp nails actually digging into his skin this time.

“That information is useless,” the voice hissed, and Warriors smirked, despite how badly his face hurt.

“You wanted to know about Zelda. I delivered.”

“Not her eye color,” the voice spat, and Warriors shrugged his aching shoulders.

“Well you should’ve been more specific then,” he said easily, then yelled as something hit his ribs, hard.

Something cracked, and Warriors doubled over as much as he could with how he was tied up, gasping as his chest lit up in pain. That had definitely broken something that time.

The hand was back at his face again, and Warriors coughed, feeling blood trickle down his cheek.

“Tell us your Princess’s weaknesses,” the voice said more calmly, and when Warriors didn’t say anything, the knife was dragged along his cheek again without warning.

Warriors bit back a cry, and felt his breathing speed up as the knife let up, then sliced him again in a new spot.

“Or we will cut you up until the only part of you that can move is your mouth, so we can hear every single way your cursed princess can be defeat,” the other voice hissed, and Warriors coughed out a laugh.

“Nice. Very... very dramatic. Only one problem with that,” he breathed, tasting something metallic on his tongue. “Zelda doesn’t have any weaknesses.”

His head was slammed backwards into the wall.

Sparks of light shot into his vision, and he might’ve cried out, but he wasn’t sure through the odd high-pitched sound that had filled his head up like one of the Champion’s octorock balloons.

I wonder how he’s doing... he thought blearily, wondering vaguely if the nausea that had suddenly made itself known was going to make him sick. Since he was closest when I got caught...

The high-pitched sound began to die down, and Warriors heard some other sounds through it, talking sounds.

Right... right. Right. He needed to focus.

Zelda might be in trouble.

He strained his ears, trying to focus through the pain pounding across the back of his head, and breathed in a little unsteadily. For some reason, breathing was awfully tricky.

“...hear how he called her Zelda?” one voice said, and Warriors tried even harder to focus through the ringing in his ears in order to listen. “I think perhaps the Princess has a weakness after all... the Hero.”

Warriors felt a bright ball of fear drop into his stomach.

“Sh... she cares nothing for me!” Warriors tried to shout, but his voice caught on the words, and he coughed out something thick in his throat. “You won’t... it won’t...”

The spinning and pain in his head and the ringing in his ears was suddenly too much, and Warriors felt a darkness sweep over him, despite how he resisted.

Something might’ve grabbed his face again, but Warriors slipped away before he heard any of the words they spoke.

Zelda... don’t do anything stupid for me...

(...)

He wasn’t sure how long it was before he came to, but when Warriors opened his eyes, he was still blindfolded.

And his head still hurt like a moblin had been using it as a set of drums.

He let out a low groan, and realized he was on the ground somewhere now, his cheek pressed against grass. The fact that there was grass against his face and not something else was important he thought, but he couldn’t remember or focus enough to figure out why.

He wished he could see.

A boot suddenly set itself on his side, and Warriors’ breath hitched a little, the action sending a pang through the sharp ache in his middle. Why did his head and middle and everything hurt so much?

It was as if the answer was hovering just out of reach, and no matter how he jumped for it, he couldn’t grab hold.

...Was somebody talking?

Warriors strained his ears, and heard several different voices, some lower, and higher, and scratchy, and more commanding...

They went quiet suddenly, and Warriors frowned. Why had they stopped?

The boot sitting lightly on his side suddenly stomped down, and a scream was ripped from Warriors’ throat, pain flashing up his entire side and middle and making his vision white out with stars.

The talking might have started up again, but Warriors couldn’t hear it over the agony burning through his chest, worse than his head, worse than his face. A loud noise sounded nearby and the weight of the boot disappeared, but Warriors couldn’t even focus enough to wonder why.

His world had narrowed down to pain, slow and freezing and hot and fast, switching back and forth so quickly he could barely stand it.

He coughed, something warm spattering on his cheek, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

A sudden crashing sound came from nearby, one oddly familiar. Despite how it made the pain increase, Warriors listened carefully, trying to identify it. It kept happening, over and over as Warriors listened, and he suddenly realized it was two swords, hitting against each other.

But who’s swords? Who’s fighting? he wondered desperately, and winced when a much louder crash rang out.

He really wished he could see.

“Link!”

A couple sets of footsteps sounded by his head, and hands tugged at his bound wrists and ankles, then near his hair, pulling at the coarse fabric. He froze, and all of a sudden the blindfold fell away, Warriors finally able to see again.

He blinked in the nearly blinding sunlight, squeezing his eyes shut before slowly cracking them open again. Something shaded his eyes, and Warriors looked up at golden hair and blue eyes the color of Lake Hylia.

“Arte... Zel..?” he said dizzily, and the worried look she’d been giving him was replaced with a small smile.

“Yes. We’ve got you Link, just hold on while somebody grabs a fairy.”

Warriors blinked up at her, his vision swimming a little. Wow. Had Zelda’s voice always been that pretty? He wasn’t sure. He should probably tell her.

“Oh geez, yeah that’s a concussion,” somebody who wasn’t Zelda commented, and Warriors honestly had no clue who it was. “Unless he usually goes around complimenting your voice?”

“Not normally, no,” Zelda replied, a bit of her hair falling in her face. The sun caught it and made it light up into a brighter yellow, and Warriors tried to raise a hand and touch it. It didn’t really work.

“Hair’s glowing?” he mumbled, and heard a stifled laugh. “‘S pretty. I ever tell y-you... Arty... you’re pretty?”

Artemis blinked at him in surprise, and this time there were a few ooohs along with the stifled laughs that went up from the people he couldn’t recognize.

“Why don’t you tell me later, Link?” she said, and Warriors furrowed his brow as she carefully turned his head. Later? Why later? What was so bad about right now?

“Now, no, why wait?” he managed to get out, his chest aching again as somebody touched it. “You’re beautiful, you... your hair... Hair looks kind of... butter,” he said, confusedly, squinting. The color was pretty darn similar in his opinion, had Zelda ever noticed that? “...Butter color. ‘S butter in your hair?”

There was laughter that was much less muffled that time, and Artemis had an odd look on her face as somebody appeared next to her, something pink in their grasp.

“Alright Captain, here’s a fairy, hold still.”

“Hold who?” he said dizzily, but then the pink swirled all over his vision, sparkles like snow drifting over him. It moved so fast he could barely watch it, but the steady pound in his head began to fade, and the horrible burn in his chest eased considerably.

What felt like a soft wave washed over him, and it took with it almost all the fuzziness that was clouding his head.

He opened his eyes (he’d closed them?) with a sigh, and met Artemis’s eyes, a tiny bit of blood on her chin.

“Oh. Hi,” he said a little dizzily, and made to sit up. He couldn’t quite made it though, his head still a little heavy-feeling, and Artemis’s arms pulled him up, along with somebody else’s.

“Hi yourself,” Artemis said with a bit of exasperation, and as Warriors stared at her. Suddenly everything that had happened while he’d been tied to a chair came back, the questions and blows and a knife dragged along his face—

“Artemis,” he startled, and lurched forward to frantically study her face. “Are you okay? Those men were trying—”

“We know Wars,” Wind’s voice said kindly from nearby. “We took care of ‘em.”

Warriors blinked at him. “Really?” How much had he missed?

“Really,” Time said with a hint of amusement. “They are no longer a threat. You pretty much missed the entire battle.”

“...Oh.”

Warriors rubbed his head with a wince, trying to sort through his memories of the past half a day or so. His head throbbed unpleasantly, and he made the decision it could perhaps wait a bit until his headache died down. The others could probably fill him in... right?

“So, you gonna tell her highness she’s beautiful again?” Legend said innocently, and Warriors stared at him.

Maybe that’s not a good idea.

“...what do you mean again?”

Several snickers went up from the group, and Artemis gave his shoulder a careful squeeze, her hand still on his arm.

“You had a concussion,” she explained, and Warriors could swear she was blushing a little. “Still do, I believe. You... rambled a bit.”

Warriors felt heat rise in his own cheeks. “...What about?”

Artemis smiled, and she squeezed his shoulder again, sending a pleasant warmth up his arm.

“Nothing bad. I’ll tell you later,” she said with a mischievous look, and Warriors felt his cheeks darken even further for some reason. “But we should get you inside. The fairy helped, but I really don’t think you’re all the way healed yet.”

Artemis helped him stand then, and Warriors leaned heavily on her shoulder, his head spinning a little at the change in altitude. They began to walk, and Warriors drifted along in a bit of a haze, the others’ conversation floating around him.

“I’m glad you’re all right,” Artemis said suddenly, voice quiet enough not to be heard by the others. “When they dragged you out, we... we thought the worst.”

Warriors blinked back the ache behind his eyes, and smiled over at Artemis, trying to focus on her face.

“I’m alright,” he reassured, and squeezed her arm. “Glad you’re okay too.”

She sighed, and brushed some hair out of her face. “I was never in as much danger as you, Link. But thank you.”

A smile twitched onto her lips.

“And I think your hair looks a bit like butter as well.”

Warriors stared at her, and Artemis stifled a laugh as he spent the rest of the trip trying to figure out what on earth she meant by that.

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu warriors #lu Artemis #linked universe fanfic #whumptober 2023 #day 18 #tortured for information #blindfold #writing from the floor #mild zelink #Warriors is loooopy #you can tell the exact moment I went from serious to goofy lol #hope you all enjoy anyway

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choicesficwriterscreations · 8 months

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September 2023 WOTM: lilyoffandoms

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @lilyoffandoms. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

This month's Writer of the Month was selected a little differently than normal. We announced that we would be selecting the WOTM from the participants in last month's Writer Appreciation Event. But the eleven writers involved all agreed the honor belonged to Lily. Lily has been a staple in the Choices community for so long, and they continuously go out of their way to support creators and spread positivity while continuing to inspire and create themselves. We couldn't think of anyone better suited for the honor, so please join us in congratulating Lily... September's Writer of the Month!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Name: lilyoffandoms Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Lily is fine (they/them preferred)

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

Best guess would be back in January of 2018. It was a joke at first since a friend saw one of their god-awful ads and said we should both try it. Next thing you know, we were both arguing over which books were better and regretting our decision to start. Though their opinions on what constitutes good books are almost as bad as the Choices ad that got us to jokingly play (and I say this most lovingly because they are awesome and I love them). I started with Most Wanted, and my friend started with The Freshman.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Oh gods! I joined back in March 2019. I know I’m a Tumblr baby by most everyone’s standards, but that feels like a really long time. I joined when Open Heart book one was released. I had lurked, reading fanfics, for a few months before biting the bullet and creating a blog and actually posting. Only joined because I was taking my editor’s advice and writing something entirely outside my norm to break a particularly bad case of writer’s block. Thought I might as well share those silly things if I was taking the time to write them. Maybe someone would enjoy them. Never did plan on sticking around, but found so many lovely people that I’ve come to call friends.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

It was lilyofchoices. My name + Choices because I am super creative like that with those sorts of naming things 😅 I changed it to lilyoffandoms when I left the Choices fandom for a bit. I’ve thought about changing it more times than I can count but I can’t bring myself to actually follow through on it. How do y’all’s change your blog name with each new book release? You are a crazy different breed of tumblr and you fascinate me.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I deleted the first one years ago. It was my first drabble. Currently, as it stands, the first thing in my archive is this post about Desire and Decorum, and it still makes me giggle.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve only been writing fanfic since I joined Tumblr. I never really tried writing fanfic before that. Some nonfiction personal things before that but never anything like this world. It's been an adventure, to say the least haha

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite book is probably Blades of Light and Shadow, book one, but there are plenty that are really close behind. This is also the book I’d say I enjoy writing for the most because it is my favorite book, contains my favorite LI, and has one of my favorite OCs (Maiele) in it.

Though recently, I’ve been writing more for Crimes of Passion because it's more of a challenge for me. It's a different vibe between the MC and the LI and it's one I don’t often explore so I’m here for that right now. But I have a sneaky suspicion once Blades 2 drops I’ll be back on my bullshit with that again.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

I don’t think it exists on this site anymore. Maybe in someone’s reblog? I still have it in my files. It was an Ethan x MC drabble featuring my MC, Merida. I still like it. I’d not change it cuz I’m a firm believer in writing it and don’t look back haha.

This is it:

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to form in his eyes. There it was. He had told her. Dr. Banerji was dying and Ethan was at a loss as to what was ailing his mentor and friend. Ethan stared at the young woman in front of him and then to the floor. He cleared his throat and made a small motion to turn back into Naveen’s room but froze instantly the moment he noticed her take a step towards him.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, wishing to take away all of his pain, all of his loneliness. Silently willing him to understand that she cared for him. Cared deeply for him and much more than she should. “Ethan. I’m so sorry,” she whispered, one hand stroked through his hair while the other grasped his neck and slowly bent his head toward her shoulders as she raised herself to her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

He tensed upon feeling her arms around him. Arms, he thought to himself, that he had imagined holding him for a number of weeks now. Ever since that night spent sitting up with her watching little baby Ethan. “Merida,” he sighed as he gradually relaxed into the embrace.

She didn’t let up on the hug, squeezing him to her just a bit more tightly. God, she had wanted to comfort him when Dolores died but she didn’t know how he would respond. Now, he was facing the possibility of another friend dying and she couldn’t help herself.

He responded to the increased pressure of her hug and tightened his own hold upon her. Finding himself tracing circles up her spine and imagining what it would feel like to move his hands to tease along the skin of her back where her pants met her shirt.

Her breath caught when she felt his hands move lower. No longer making gentle movements along her spine but increasing their pressure upon her body, nearly massaging their way lower. She brought one of her own hands around to his chest, lightly bunching his white coat in her fist to try and pull him closer to her.

A loud crash echoed down the hall. “Shit!” a construction worker cursed. The two doctors jumped back from each other both staring into each other’s eyes seeming to question if they had both felt the same in the other’s arms. She blushed slightly. “I should see to my other patients. Dr. Banerji’s condition stays between us. Understand, Rookie?” he stated, his eyes narrowing. She nodded and he turned and marched down the hall.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I love asking this question of others but don’t like it asked of me. I’m so bad at self-rep and advertising my wares 😂 But if I had to pick one, I’d say this one. It was so far outside my comfort zone when it came to writing that I almost abandoned it two paragraphs in. But I’m a stubborn person, and I refused to let it beat me. Plus, I had been wanting to write a noir fic for this book since it was released. Furthermore, I adore Hayden’s work too much not to gift a little something back for all the art he shares with us, so I knew I just had to make it work.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I didn’t expect last year’s Luck of the Draw fic to garner much love. Attention? Maybe. But not love and definitely not the response I got. I really enjoyed writing that one.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Fluff. I’m a sucker for happy-ever-afters and an endless hopeless romantic. Give me the fluff. All the fluff.

I pull a lot of what I toss into my silly drabbles from real life. Always been a believer in writing, most often what you know, and sprinkle that all with a dash of the stuff you don’t as a treat. And my life is pretty fluffy thanks to my incredible partner.

However, I do so adore angst I’m just not able to write it often because it hurts more to write. But I’ll always always read it. That pain is *chef’s kisses*

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Maiele, my Blades MC, is most definitely me coded. His whole personality, his choice of partner when it comes to personality, his constant flirting with said partner, his sense of humor, his lack of a filter most times, it’s all pretty much me. Gabriel, my CoP MC, is me when it comes to romantic gestures and Valentine’s Day. I may be a romantic, but I get weird when it’s aimed at me 😂

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Editing. I refuse to do it. I hate it with the burning light of a thousand suns. Those of you that manage to edit your fics have all my admiration. I honestly don’t know how y’all do it. Doesn’t it just bore you to no end?

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have more drafts than I care to admit. I would like to complete a series I started long ago for Ethan x Merida, but I don’t know if I’ll ever do that. I’d settle for finishing one of my drafts 😅

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Nope, haha, I’d not be able to do that. If I were that brave, I’d recommend this one maybe. I do so love Flynn. Or this one, mostly because I do so love the idea of Gabriel just pouting on the couch.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

Not really. I mean all of em probably. I read a lot of books in a lot of genres. Mostly I use my drabbles as morning warm ups for my day job.

There are definitely fanfic writers I admire around here that encourage me to share my silly things everyday. Especially all those queer writers out there that have a rather thankless existence sometimes around here but keep sharing their stories! They are all my heroes!!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Any and all of my Maiele and Tyril stories. I just love them sooooo much!!

17- Do you write original fiction?

Yes, but until recently, I wrote mostly nonfiction.

I do have a fic I began a few years back when I was still teaching. I had a student who hated their writing class, so I promised to write a short story alongside them and read it to the class like all the students had to if they gave it an honest go.

They did and so I did too, and I was asked the following year to do it again by more students and so I continued the same story. I’ve since continued that same fic, and maybe someday I’ll actually go looking to publish it.

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

I love the outdoors. Hiking, spelunking, kayaking, gardening, camping, anything and everything outdoors. My other favorite hobby, which I've done for years and years, is fencing. I still am part of a club and teach a few levels.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

😅 because it’s legit my state of existence at this point in life.

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I want to send a special shout-out to all the absolutely lovely participants of August’s writer appreciation event I hosted. I still cannot believe y’all did this for me. 😘 These are each of my favorite fics you’ve written. Thank you for making our fandom a little brighter each and every day!

@aallotarenunelma Bathed in Sunlight @coffeeheartaddict2 Moths to a Flame @karahalloway A Leviathan Surprise @jerzwriter A Mother's Journal @ladylamrian Ma Cherie @mydemonsdrivealimo Run, Run @peonyblossom We're Gonna Get Married @petiteboheme Familia @storyofmychoices Passing Shower @tessa-liam All is Fair in Love and War @trappedinfanfiction What's In a Name? Lily's Top Three Commissions can be found here:

Crimes of Passion by @javsarts

A Year of Kisses by various artists: @lethendralis-paints @cashweasel @kundool @deheerkonijn @javsarts @weetlebeetle @kollapsar @mooreaux @rosefuckinggenius @/ArtbyAinna (IG) @littlestpersimmon @callmebeem

Trystan x Noel by @rosefuckinggenius

#cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #lilyoffandoms #choices fic writers creations #choices fanfiction #choices fanart

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h0neytalk · 3 months

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Mango v. LingQ v. Anki

I’ve been using the above apps for a while now and I couldn’t find a ton of somewhat easy to understand comparisons/explanations of how to use these various cult favorites. I figured I would make one if anyone is wondering where to start or making a departure from Duolingo.

Standard langblr disclaimer: I am ultimately just a person on the internet, I’m not an expert in language learning or a world renowned polyglot. I’m not even an expert in any of these apps/programs. These are all just thoughts and opinions I have about the value of each app to myself as an average consumer trying to learn a language and intended to help other people decide where to spend their time.

Anki

Anki is an open source spaced repetition flashcard program. It has an incredibly loyal fan base of med students and people who just want to learn things. This is also the one I have the least experience with so I recommend diving into forums and other blogs who go in depth on all the ways you can use this program. The web version is completely free and there is an official paid mobile app. There are also unofficial paid apps, this is the source of great drama and discourse and I’m not touching that here. Spaced repetition essentially means that the program will present you with cards at intervals designed to maximize your retention. When you flip over a card, you have four options that boil down to: fail, hard, good, easy. This is how the program determines what to show you and when.

Key Features:

The main draw is obviously the spaced repetition system. It’s much easier and more effective than sorting manually.

Because it’s open source, there is a way to customize the settings and cards to do basically whatever you want. There are also tons of premade decks to import and either use as-is or use as a base.

The online web version is completely free.

You can add really any media type to the cards. You can add sound clips of pronunciations, images, even drawings and diagrams.

Having the four options is particularly useful for the nuances of learning a language. For example, for general vocabulary decks I’ll assign one “point” to general meaning, tense/part of speech, and pronunciation. Getting the general meaning but not the other two means I select “hard” when I flip the card.

Best uses:

Vocab or learning a new alphabet. Specifically for drilling any of those “slippery” words. I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but there are some vocab words that just refuse to stick with me. I’ve found the Anki SRS does help pin them down.

Potential downsides:

While there are decks to import, there could always be errors that you won’t catch just seeing single vocab words with no context.

The available customization is labor intensive.

The UI for the official app and web version isn’t super slick and intuitive.

Even the best flashcards are ultimately just flashcards and have limits to their usefulness.

Mango

Mango is similar to Babbel or other programs that focus on speaking (and doing so quickly). I much prefer Mango to Babbel or any other similar app and find that it does what it says it will. Languages are split into units. Each unit has chapters and each chapter has lessons. A lesson will start with an optional pre quiz and a brief recording of a conversation that you will be able to follow by the end of the lesson. Each lesson concludes with a listening and reading quiz. It also utilizes spaced repetition and gives you daily flashcards to review.

You learn based on phrases rather than individual words. A long sentence will be presented in its entirety. The lesson will then go through each word individually before combining them into phrases and, finally, the full sentence from the start. Then you will learn vocabulary needed for variations. The activities are fairly standard for a language app: speaking, listening, multiple choice. You can also turn off the interactive feature and have the lesson run as a “speak and repeat” style podcast. It tracks the hours you’ve spent learning a language and there is an activity log, but no in depth stats.

Key features:

It is focused on speaking immediately.

Has a ton of languages and several dialects for those languages.

Focuses on phrases and patterns that are most useful if traveling or having brief, friendly interactions.

Presents information in a digestible way and isn’t overwhelming.

Includes culture and grammar notes.

$12.99 a month but most public libraries and schools give you free access. You can also set up a household account for multiple people and split the cost with friends/family.

The first lesson of any language is free, and some rare and indigenous languages are completely free to access.

Audio is native speakers. When you record yourself, your vocal wave pattern appears that you can compare with the native speaker.

Best uses:

If you are traveling soon and want to navigate basic, friendly interactions, this will get you there quick. Within 1-3 months easily, depending on the language and how often you practice.

I also recommend this as a starting place when you are totally new to a language or to learning a language in general. The structure is excellent for getting a feel for things.

This is also great if you studied a language previously and need to refresh your memory or get back into it.

Potential downsides:

The “record yourself” feature is fairly buggy and often freezes up. It can also be annoying to try and match the timing of the native speaker, but you don’t have to record audio to progress past those lesson points so it isn’t too much of an inconvenience.

It isn’t meant for total fluency. As stated, the lessons (at least that I have done) are focused on speaking while traveling and making small talk. Some of the early lessons teach you to say “sorry, I don’t speak [x]”. Which is very useful if going abroad soon, but less so if you would rather just be able to speak that language.

The regimented nature can make it feel slow/too easy if you are also using other methods.

The review flashcards only have a binary “yes/no” option which feels annoying for longer phrases or after using Anki-style cards.

With any course like this, you aren’t going to have much choice in the vocab you learn or prioritizing topics.

LingQ

I am honestly surprised I don’t see more about this. I think they have been making a bunch of updates recently so maybe the version I’m using is miles above previous ones, but it is shockingly powerful. It’s also the hardest to explain (which may be why I don’t see much written about it and why this is going to be a long section.) LingQ (pronounced “link”) operates on a hybrid comprehensible/massive input model. While Anki prioritizes memorization and Mango priorities speaking, LingQ focuses on comprehension and listening. LingQ is comprised of courses which are made up of lessons. There are pre-built courses made by LingQ but the real goal is to make your own (more on that later).

Each lesson within a course has an audio recording and a written transcript. Words you haven’t seen before are highlighted blue (when you start, that’s every word). You click the word to see the definition and assign it one of 5 statuses: ignore, new, recognized, familiar, learned, or known. “Ignore” is used for things like names or borrowed words, they won’t be counted in your stats. “Known” is for words you knew before seeing them. You likely won’t have any of these if you’re starting a new language with no prior experience. Levels 1-3 highlight the word yellow and it becomes a LingQ. You can create a LingQq using as many words as you want. You can manually change the status of a word when you see it. You can also do various review activities similar to Mango, and if you get a word right twice in a row it will automatically bump up a level. You can always adjust it back down if needed. LingQ is very focused on the value of listening to a language. You can add lessons to playlists and listen to them like a podcast.

My personal favorite part of LingQ is the ability to import lessons. Especially YouTube videos. The site has a browser extension that will import any content in your target language into a lesson as an embedded item. You can then read/listen to/watch that content right in the app and get “credit” for it. LingQ’s statistics are some of the coolest/most motivating I’ve seen. You get coins for completing tasks but those are really just to see a number get bigger. It also tracks the words you’ve read, how many words you know, the hours listened, and speaking/writing if you utilize their tutor marketplace or writing forum.

The free trial is very limited but it’s enough to poke around and get a feel for things before signing up, not necessarily to learn anything substantial. The monthly membership is $12.95 and there’s a $199 lifetime option as well. I definitely recommend spending some time playing around at the free level and then upping to monthly if you like it.

Key features:

The ability to import lessons. It will also create a simplified version of shorter content. This is an AI generated summary of whatever you’ve imported. I use this for videos where natural speaking cadence can make it hard to parse things sometimes. It’s easier/more productive if I know generally what’s going on.

The creation of LingQs. I just think it’s a really cool and useful way to approach comprehensible input. You can visually see the yellow fading as you understand more and more of a lesson.

You can export LingQs to Anki (theoretically). I’ve never done this myself and I’ve seen some forum posts saying it doesn’t work super well all the time but it is a built in feature.

In-depth stats tracking and the ability to consume all the content easily in app. The stats would be annoying if it wasn’t literally easier to watch a video via LingQ than on YouTube.

Community features. There are community challenges (like Duolingo) but also a forum to submit writing that will be corrected by native speakers and a marketplace of tutors to easily sign up for speaking lessons. The forum is free and volunteer based, but scrolling through I didn’t see anyone who didn’t have at least one reply. The tutors are paid at an hourly rate and you can also pay by the word to have them correct written work.

Super flexible. There really isn’t any one right way to use this app so you can structure it however you like and set your own goals/metrics.

Playlists and focus on listening. It really does help to constantly be immersed in what a language sounds like, and being able to read and listen to the same thing has been so nice.

Actually decently helpful emails and not just spam.

Best for:

Hardcore language learners. The app/site provides some guidance on how to get started and the basic idea, but you’ll need to play around with it and spend some time reading forum posts or the emails they send to find what works for you.

Getting to higher levels of fluency after maxing out other apps/self study methods.

People looking to spend a lot of time on language learning because they enjoy it. This isn’t snarky, but there’s a difference between wanting or needing to learn Spanish to communicate at work or on vacation and just really enjoying learning languages. This is an app for language nerds.

Potential downsides:

Very overwhelming. They technically say you can jump right in with 0 knowledge of a language and be good to go, but I think it would be hard to make a lot of progress unless you’ve learned other languages before. If you’re looking to learn a new language for the first time, I recommend starting with Mango to get your bearings.

Doesn’t teach new alphabets. This isn’t a huge issue for Mango since it’s speaking focused, but I wouldn’t jump into Arabic or Russian on LingQ without spending some time learning the alphabet with other methods.

User generated definitions. This is a double edged sword. The definitions being linked to sites like Globse can lead to wrong definitions, but because you’re seeing things in context it’s easier to catch. And looking into what a phrase means is a great way to learn if you are really into languages.

The import feature isn’t 100% perfect when it comes to videos. It will only create a transcript when the video has captions enabled or a transcript provided, otherwise it just shows up as an audio file. It will also sometimes randomly just not be able to import a video which can be annoying, but in the grand scheme of things these are very minor annoyances.

Time commitment. The method doesn’t require a ton of actively sitting down and reviewing vocab or reading new words, but it does assume that you’ll swap out listening to music or podcasts while going about your day with listening to content in your target language. This is all well and good unless you really enjoy listening to specific content while doing tasks or need help not getting distracted. It’s going to be a lot of incomprehensible noise for a while before you can parse it. This might not be a downside as much as something to keep in mind when considering how effective it’s going to be for you.

Not as active of a community. Maybe it’s just for my particular languages, but there definitely aren’t a ton of people actively doing things like challenges. This really doesn’t matter much to me but it could be a bummer if you’re looking for that.

tl;dr just tell me how to learn things

If you need to learn a new alphabet, start with that. Otherwise, Mango to get your bearings, Anki to add to your vocab as you get bored with Mango, and LingQ to realistically get “fluent”. Then start writing and speaking either using tutors or people you know or local language groups.

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simandy · 1 year

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Express Tutorial: How to fix some weird Dirty Blonde textures made by EA or making Dirty Blonde from any texture ever (for recolors)

Hello, so I was asked questions about how to gradient the 13th swatch of the EAXIS palette for hairs to make the recoloring process easier. Therefore here I am with one more specific-ass thing for you to learn.

This tutorial will teach you: Photoshop Gradients Maping and how to disrespect EA color choices properly

Tutorial under the cut ♥

Ok lesgo

Step 1: Get your weird texture. Mine is this one, from the Island Living EP:

I despise it. ANYWAY, as you can see, the colors are a bit off, the highlights are white and there’s a kind of a “halo” around them that is pretty saturated for no reason. This can make your recolor look weird. So let’s fix that.

Step 2: Open it in Photoshop. Mine is Photoshop CC with a .dds plugin (which makes it easier to work with gradients and not care about the white backgrounds. But if you’re used to the .png files and not flattening your layers, it will work normally.)

Step 3: GRADIENT MAP TIME, BABE. Find it here:

So this nice cute layer will be created for you in some color (will vary depending on what color you have selected at the moment, don’t panic):

Step 4: The Gradient messing up step. So now you have this big window open in your photoshop because you clicked the gradient in the previous step. What now?

Well, now is when the fun begins. You have two sliders there: far left and far right. Far left is your darkest color, the shadows of your hair texture. Far right is the lightest point, the highlights. We still have only two shades, but we will need FOUR. To insert more color shades into your gradient map, simply click somewhere in the map, like this:

Ok, make it to four and you will have this nonsense here:

You can mess up with the slider positions as you please!

Step 5: Colors! So now you have a gradient map ready to use, all you have to do is to change it’s colors to your preferred tones. To change a slider color, you click it’s little box twice and the color selector will open for you. It’s this easy. Keep in mind that left is darker and right is brighter.

I have my values ready so you can copy and paste in the # section to the color selection:

Deep shadows (far left - value 1): 2e1b15

Shadows (left - value 2): 523830

Base color (middle - value 3): b08d68

Highlights (right - value 4): fff3bd

After you put in your values, you will get this:

“But Ellen!!! This is dark as hell and not even close to dirty blonde!!” I know dear, that’s why the sliders are for! You can change their positions so if you bring the lighter colors more to the left, the shadows will get lighter! (Notice the extra tip)

Cleaner dirty blonde!!! Look how soft and pretty it is compared to the EA one:

Step 6: Save it. No for real that’s all! Join the layers for png or flatten for dds (don’t forget the mipmap check) and save it as “base” of you’re here because you use my actions. Here’s a sims4studio comparison:

See how it looks easier on the eye? It’s because now the colors are a perfect gradient of each other and they mix up well!

The best part if this, is that now you can grab any texture and turn it to dirty blonde by messing up with the gradient sliders! This makes everything easier, even recoloring clothes or build mode stuff if you want your favorite hair color palette in other parts of the game, assuming they all use dirty blonde as a base. Here’s an example using the teal hair swatch:

Another tip: Don’t forget to save your new gradient for when you need it again!

♥

That’s about it! Now go on with your recolors! See you in the next tutorial, xoxo

#the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 tutorial #ts4 tutorials #sims 4 tutorials #tutorial #tutorials #photoshop #photoshop tutorial #the sims 4 resources #resources

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genshinsidepiece · 2 years

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Spoil of War

So I didn't expect A Worthy Sacrifice to get the reaction it's gotten. Thanks so much to everyone for the comments, likes, reblogs it means a lot to me. :) I hadn't planned on continuing this, but a part 2 worked it's way into my brain.

Warnings: Slightly Dark, Implied Forced Relationship, Imprisonment, Implied Innocence Kink, Implied Voyeurism, Implied Somnophilia, Implied Non-Con, 18+, My Bad Writing

Summary: You begin your new life in Snezhnaya, but not everything is as it seems.

A maiden of virtuous quality and meek countenance. That’s what he had told the elders he had wanted. In their haste, your village elders hadn’t clarified what he had wanted of you. That particular detail wasn’t of any concern to them. During your assessment his underlings had only ever looked for specific ideals within you. Your looks hadn’t been especially important, though as you later discovered, you certainly fit his preferred type. Now that you were his, you’d come to understand why he had chosen you. In his eyes, you were untainted by the bloodshed of war. You were naive to the inner workings of the world. You were everything he was not.

Perhaps he used the concept of you to assuage his guilt or perhaps he simply wished to admire that which he inevitably destroyed. You couldn’t say. You never saw him for long enough to ask him. You never saw him at all.

Others had it far worse. It was difficult for you to comprehend that at times, especially when your isolation began to root it’s way into your mind, but it was true. What was being a trophy, kept in a world of comfort and silence compared to one with mad scientists and unimaginable atrocities? Others were suffering far worse than you, but that knowledge didn’t lessen the state of loneliness that your captor seemed to enjoy keeping you in.

After your selection, you hadn’t fought. You hadn’t argued. You let them do what they wanted to you. Your time in the selection process had shown you that the notion of resisting anything regarding the lord harbinger seemed futile. Disobedience would not be tolerated. It would only bring the business end of a whip or a switch across your skin. Escape or the attempt of escape would bring nothing short of a long painful death. His men were quick to show you that if the lord harbinger couldn’t have what could be easily given, he would simply take it. As was the case with your village. As was the case with you. Your compliance would earn you far more than fighting ever could. You chose to resign yourself to your fate. Giving in to the illusion that you had a choice in the matter.

Your captor's status meant that your trip had been made in relative comfort. The carriage had been spacious, with plenty of room to stretch out since there were only two of you. He kept to his side, while you clung to yours. The only time you met in the middle was when he insisted on being diligent in his efforts to keep you wrapped in heavy fur blankets, especially so when the frigid Snezhnayan weather set in. Him doting on you seemed out of place for one with so fearsome a reputation. You could almost imagine a warm smile behind the dark void that concealed his face. It was a disturbing notion, so you did your best to avoid looking at him altogether. No easy feat considering your knees were nearly touching.

Curiosity regarding you had infiltrated the ranks of his personal guard and it was a favorite pastime of the soldiers to ride up alongside the carriage in the hopes they might get a glimpse. Having never been considered a great beauty by your village’s standards, it was a boost to your personal ego to have so many wanting to see you. The perks of being with a harbinger you supposed. Your lord harbinger was less than enthralled with it. The curtains inside the coach were closed after the first day and remained that way until your party was on the outskirts of the capital. How foolish you were not to take it as a sign of things to come.

His home, like him, was one of elegant simplicity. Stone and glass enveloped you as he escorted you into the uncluttered foyer. No servants greeted you, which you found peculiar. Your cloaks were left near the door, your Lord Harbinger pushing you towards the fire that roared in the oversized fireplace that sat just off the front doors. It did little to warm you. The front door slamming home with a bang, and the tinkering of locks afterward sent a chill that nestled itself deep into your bones. Nothing seemed to take it away. In fact, it only seemed to get worse whenever he drew near.

Your new home came as a surprise. Your mind had spun up several different scenarios when it came to your confinement. On the trip here you had prepared yourself to be met with a room or a cell or even being confined to his bed. A large apartment that was inconspicuously sealed off from the public areas of the house was something you hadn’t been ready for. It was a pleasant surprise, despite the amount of secret doors and locks that had to be turned to even reach it. The first twinges of worry began to work their way into a knot in your stomach. You wondered how many, if any, outside of him had access to your area of his house.

The deeper you wandered the more you discovered. The apartment itself was an odd amalgamation of things. Frivolous and delicate furniture had been combined with an exquisitely curated collection of treasures from all over Teyvat. Trophies likely taken from his various conquests. Your feelings of unease only got worse when you realized that you were simply the latest addition to his collection.

The main hallway that led to the bedroom was particularly cramped. Covering the walls from one end to the other were portraits of different women. Who they were and where they had come from was a mystery. You could only guess these were the women who had come before you. Other touches of them had been throughout the apartment, in the form of baubles and trinkets. But this was the harsh confirmation that you were not the first to live here and it was likely you would not be the last.

The realization sent a cold shiver down your spine as questions about their fates began to surface. You wanted to ask. In fact, there were many things you had wanted to ask since coming here. Why had his men been sent away every time you had left the carriage? Why were there no servants? Why had no one outside of him touched or spoken to you since you had left your village? Why were all the women in the paintings wearing the same dress as you? Your curiosity overrode your need to be silent. You turned to face him, working up the courage to confront him, yet no one was there. He was long gone and your only escape route had been firmly locked. A silent command to listen. A silent command to obey. Lest you suffer the fate of all those that had come before you. Such was the game with him.

Initially, you had imagined he thought you witless enough to be satisfied with good food, nice clothes, and the warmth of the fire. That you were content with a life of comfort without any expectation of returning his generosity. He was only half right. While resigned that you now belonged to him, you knew he would want more. It was true, you were naive to how the world worked, but you were not so blind to the odd groans that came from behind the walls or the soft sighs that echoed off your bathroom walls as you finished bathing or the touches that haunted you while you slept. You knew what they meant. You knew what was coming.

By now it wasn’t a secret that there were hidden points of entry into your domain. As time had dragged on, you had caught the automatons he used to look after you briefly accessing them before they disappeared from view. It also wasn’t terribly shocking that there were two way mirrors and translucent screens for your lord's private use.

The first time you had realized his eyes were on you, you had tried to pass it off as nothing. In your complete boredom, you had taken to lounging on a large pile of pillows near the sitting room fireplace. The book you had selected from the small library available to you wasn’t terribly interesting. Like many of the titles he allowed you to read, it was pure fantasy. It had a villain, a damsel, and a hero who always came to the rescue. You imagined that’s how he saw your relationship. He your knight and you his maiden in distress. You found it ironic that he never acknowledged that he was the source of said distress. But you never dwelled on the notion for long. You continued reading, simply passing the time until your next meal appeared.

In an effort to get more comfortable, you had pulled your impossibly heavy skirts up past your calves, giving you legs some much needed breathing room. The breathy sigh that followed that action didn’t come from you. It was hollow and it echoed. Trembling slightly, you briefly shifted your eyes from your book towards the filigree screen panels that were on the wall opposite you. The awkwardness of the moment haunted you for the next few days as you weren’t entirely sure what to do. It had been weeks since your arrival. Weeks since you had made contact with another soul. Had he finally decided to check in on you or had he always been there? The notion that you hadn’t been alone the whole time and that he had likely witnessed you doing the most basic of things nearly made you sick. Your eyes snapped forward, a heavy blush creeping it’s way across your cheeks. You took to your bed shortly afterward, your book abandoned by the fire as you hid under the heavy covers. You didn’t come out until the next morning. It was a good lesson to be more observant in the future.

The second time was far worse. There was no passing it off as nothing, because it wasn’t something as innocent as him observing you. After the sitting room incident you had found it hard to sleep. You could hear his faint breath echoing off of everything. After a few days of this, you were near hysteria. In what you guessed was an effort to help you, a cup of tea was left at your bedside after your evening bath. The effects were slow to take hold, but once they did you fell into a dreamless slumber that kept you under until late the next morning.

To your horror, you awoke to find yourself and your bed in complete disarray. The sheets and your thighs were covered with what looked like a translucent discharge. The source of it was a complete mystery to you. For your part, you had always had difficulty with your cycle. Your mother generally helped you with matters such as these, but she was not here and you doubted your lord harbinger was well versed in female aliments. All you could do was try to get cleaned up. Rising, you winced when your thighs brushed against one another, the skin chafed for some unknown reason. What had happened to you?

The issue continued on as time passed. In addition to the chafing and the mystery substance, bruising had begun to form on your arms and thighs. Fearing something was wrong with your health, you stopped drinking the tea. The issue hadn’t happened before you had started drinking it, so perhaps you were allergic? That helped with the bruises and the chafing, but the discharge remained. What little adjustments you could make to your diet, you did. You experimented not eating or drinking different combinations, but nothing seemed to help. The issue continued until you were once again in a state of panic. Your mind went back to the other women. It went back to their fates. Is this how it had started for them? Was it going to get worse? Is this how you were going to leave this world?

Frantic, you did the only thing you could think of doing; you ran to the sitting room screen. “My…my lord” You flinched slightly at the rust in your voice. You hadn’t spoken much upon your arrival, signs of disuse were natural, but they were also embarrassing. Clearing your throat you tried again, conceding to do the one thing you had avoided doing since he had taken you. “Capitano.” His name was a whisper on your lips, but he still heard you. The cold breeze of a door opening from behind the screen told you he was there. The cold that ebbed through the screen told you he was close. “Please, help me.” You swallowed what was left of your pride, too frightened for your own well being to put it above your survival. “I… I fear something is wrong. I worry I am ill.” You didn’t bother to elaborate on your malady. Your nightgown and sheets were changed daily. It was likely he already knew something was wrong. Maybe that’s why he had come when you called.

Your fingers pressed into the metal in front of you, clawing at the gilded mesh in a vain attempt to grab hold of it. For a second you thought that the tip of your finger brushed against the leather of his glove. You clawed at the screen further, trying to find the sensation again, but it was gone. “Please.. You are the only one who can help me.” You choked back a sob upon that realization. It was a hard lesson to take. “Please…” Your tears began to freely fall. It was humiliating to beg him for anything, but you had little choice in the matter. Your mind had come to the natural conclusion that you were dying. You needed a doctor and despite your complete compliance, his price for giving you more would be to further humiliate you by forcing you to ask.

When you finished, you were met with his silence. Your knees gave out when he didn't respond. You allowed your fingers to break free from the screen, chipping your smooth nails as your knees hit the unforgiving floor. Could you really mean so little to him? Had he abandoned you to die? “Darling” You nearly choked on your tears when his voice filled the small space between you. “Dry your eyes. You are not ill.” You sucked in a stuttered breath, the lilt in his voice not lost on you. What about you begging for help was so funny to him? “You have my word, all is well.” Those words brought you little comfort. If anything, they put you more on edge. As if this had been his plan all along. After months of being his captive, after months of doing your best to ignore him despite crippling isolation, he had found a way to bring you to him. Worse than that, you had almost gone into his debt by asking him for something. Your whole body shuddered, while you drew in a ragged breath. That was how everything had started for the others. That was what had led them to their fate. A debt to that couldn’t be repaid. Archons help you.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #capitano #capitano x reader #genshin capitano #the fatui harbingers #the fatui

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themetalvirus · 3 months

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ok, my new pens and ink came in and i have some thoughts!

first of all, my favorite is far and away the TWSBI diamond 580 with a stub nib, which i am completely unsurprised by. the only other stub i've tried was a nib i got from fountain pen revolution, whose selection of non-specialty nibs is aggressively mediocre, and it turns out the stub is similarly unimpressive from their lineup compared to something a little less indie.

the TWSBI is juicy, writes smoothly, and is generally beautiful. stubs aren't ideal for drawing, they're more for making your writing look fancy, but i enjoy the feel of writing with it. the diamond 580 is a weighty pen with a GREAT feel in the hand imo. despite it not being the MOST comfortable pen of all time, i would rank it very highly in my collection of comfort when writing - i use my fine diamond 580 to take notes during meetings because it's comfortable for long writing sessions!

the kakuno i have mixed feelings about. the converter (NOT included, must be bought seperately :|) is pilot, so it's small, and the beads in the converter jangle around and make semi-quiet but unpleasant noises when you move the pen around. i can imagine it being annoying in a quiet school setting, which is the target audience for the kakuno, so i find that odd.

it is a VERY comfortable pen in the hand. i know that triangle grips are a divisive topic, but i tend to like triangle grips on pens, so i find it easy to hold and write with! i also prefer thick pens to thin ones (that's what she said), and compared to the lamy safari and jinhao shark, i prefer this grip in terms of the Triangle Brothers. the lamy is so thin that it irritates my wrist, an issue that the kakuno doesn't seem to have.

where my opinions falter a bit is the nib. it's VERY fine ("fine" means thin for those not into pen language), and the lines it makes are easily the smallest out of my entire modest collection. i'm not sure if i like it. the nib very much gives a "sharp pencil" feel when you write with it because of its... sharpness, despite the actual tipping being smooth and comfortable. i made the mistake of putting a very light ink in it, and i absolutely regret it, because the writing that comes out of this is absolutely illegible. this could be FANTASTIC for people who draw or write very small, but i write medium-sized, and despite drawing somewhat small, i often fill in large areas with color and it's very inconvenient to do that with a nib so tiny.

it's not really a nail (a nib that is very stiff and inflexible), but it feels that way when writing, despite it technically having somewhat of a bounce. again, it very much feels like a pencil, which may be ideal for some folks, but i'm not sure if it's to my taste.

also, the body is cute. the construction of the pen itself is super cute. it's super accessible and affordable. it's a good choice for a beginner pen if someone is looking for a very fine line / a more tactile writing experience!

OKAY. THE INK. let's talk about the ink!!! it's sailor manyo nekoyanagi, a purple ink that sheens blue (AKA it looks 'multicolored' with blue edges and patches because of the dye formulation), which is super difficult to capture on camera for some reason?? you can see the blue areas and edges pretty clearly in person when you write on tomoe river paper with a thicker nib, but my shitty ipad camera doesn't pick it up very well, if at all. i tried my best :( the blue is more noticeable in person i prommy. it's still a more subtle sheen compared to the stark teal and pink sheeners that are so commonly seen, which is also a theme of the sailor manyo inks!

it shades REALLY starkly (areas of ink puddle up in a line, giving it light and dark areas that look like shading, which is why this is called "shading"), which works against it with the lighter pigments in the formulation. even with thick, chunky lines, if you write too fast, something can dry and end up illegible. this is an ink that makes you take your time.

notable with sheening inks (NOT SHIMMERING, shimmer is glitter, sheen is multicolor effects), the multicolor effect tends to be much more dull or completely unnoticeable on cheaper or more absorbent papers. tomoe river paper is the best choice for showing off fancy inks! this ink does still try to sheen on more absorbent paper, but the effect is not nearly as stark.

you may notice me in the pics messing around with himalaya v2s, and that's just because i hadn't inked them in a while because of a lack of silicone grease (and they're just a pain to clean). but i inked up those fussy bastards again and they're working great

one last thing. both of these pens have fun nibs, but for different reasons!

the iris finish gives the nib a beautiful multicolored look, and the kakuno has smiley faces on its nibs! SOOOO funsies

#exoticbutterstxt

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ferniliciousness · 3 months

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Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

Was tagged by @nowandthane Thank you :) You tagged me over a week ago, but I saw someone else do it and just remembered 😅 Covid brain.

I am a fan since: July 2023

Favourite game of the series?: Dont hate me for this, but its Mass Effect 1. The others have better mechanics, but the storyline and just pure variety and choice you have in one, not to mention THE MAKO! just makes me love it so much. And I'm saying this as someone who has yet to even romance anyone in 1.

MShep or FShep?: FShep hands down. Have never even contemplated playing MShep lol.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer?: Ive been Earthborn 2 or 3 times but I also enjoy Spacer.

Biotics or Tech: Tech. I am a tech girlie through and through. Ive only played a biotic class once. It was fun but I still prefer tech.

Paragon or Renegade: Paragon hands down lol. Sometimes a pit of Paragade but I'm too nice to be mean to people.

Favourite Class: Engineer or Soldier. I love the tech powers of Engineer but I also love my assault rifles lol

Favourite Companion: Tali, hands down.

Least favourite Companion: Jacob.... do i need to say more.

My squad selection: ME1- Garrus and Tali or Wrex, ME2 Garrus and Tali or Mordin, ME3 Garrus and Liara

Favourite In-game romance: In case you couldnt tell from above, cough, its Garrus lmao

Other pairings I like: Garrus is the only romance I like for the first two games for femshep, but Traynor <3, the amount of times I have almost broken up with Garrus for her is insane.

Favourite NPC: Kal'Reegar

Favourite Antagonist: TIM

Favourite Mission: Priority Palaven. As a Garrus romance it has one of my favorite scenes in the entire series.

Favourite Loyalty Mission: Tali's, I love the ship and the drama if you bring Legion

Favourite DLC: Citadel

Control, Synthesis or Destroy: Destroy, everytime

Favourite Weapon: M-96 Mattock, best part of being a soldier

Favourite Place: The migrant fleet from Tali's loyalty mission.

A quote I like: "Your best has my mandible on the floor. Damn."

#mass effect #tag game #this is so late #I am so sorry #my brain is finally functioning

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incorrectcoldflashblog · 6 months

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Sooooo...is it too much to ask for your answers to all of the questions on the ask list about your country?? (I hope you will say no and tell me to select a handful, if that's what you prefer.)

Sorry, sorry, I totally meant to do this faster but that was a lot of questions, haha. Putting this under a read more because it got LONG.

1.) favourite place in your country?

Honestly there are a lot of beautiful places in France, but a personal favorite would be Biarritz, near the Spanish border. My whole extended family used to vacation there when I was a kid.

2.) do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

Given the choice I’d prefer to travel abroad.

3.) does your country have access to sea?

Yes, via the English channel, the Atlantic and the Mediterranean sea.

4.) favourite dish specific for your country?

La blanquette de veau, a dish that was originally from Normandy :)

5.) favourite song in your native language?

Nooo, don’t do this to me. I hate picking favorites. I’ll just share one that has some personal significance for me and not call it my favorite ;)

6.) most hated song in your native language?

I don’t know that I really hate that many songs, but on a personal level I definitely never wanna hear Jusqu’ici tout va bien by Gims again as long as I live. It’s the theme song to a show my roommate watches every evening (which means I have to hear it Every.Day.) and it irks me that the title is a reference to one of the best scenes from my favorite movie when the song itself is so annoying. But maybe I just feel that way because I have to hear it so, so often.

7.) three words from your native language that you like the most?

Clair-obscur (chiaroscuro), l’engrenage (an ineluctable series of events) and it’s technically two words but l’amitié amoureuse. The literal translation would be ’friendship in love’ but it’s not actually a romantic love, it just describes basically having an intense but platonic crush on your friend. It’s one of my favorite concepts in the French language.

8.) do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

No, we don’t, for better or for worse France is very uniquely French, lol.

9.) which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

The one I know best is probably Switzerland, just because my great-uncle lived in Lausanne and we visited him a few times when he was still alive. Fun fact, he ran away to Switzerland after having an affair with a married woman because her husband threatened to kill him, lol.

The one I’d like to visit most is Italy, just because that’s where part of my family is from (from Parma) and I’ve never been.

10.) most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

Putain, which I use approximately 500 times a day XD

11.) favourite native writer/poet?

Listen, how am I meant to pick just one when there are so many??

Classic literature: Gustave Flaubert

Contemporary writer: Marie Ndiaye

Favorite poet: maybe Marguerite Yourcenar? Although my favorite poem might be L’Irréparable by Charles Baudelaire.

You didn’t ask but my favorite play is Le Cid by Corneille. Romeo and Juliet wishes XD

12.) what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

I think there’s just always something missing in translation tbh.

13.) does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

I mean, I know outsiders often comment on the fact that French people kiss each other on the cheek to say hello (se faire la bise) but I don’t know if that counts as a strange tradition.

14.) do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

Ehh, to me French cinema/TV is divided in two categories, really fucking good and really fucking awful, haha, there’s pretty much no in-between. A bad movie is called a navet (a turnip) by the way^^

15.) a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

There’s a lot of jokes and memes that originated from the tv show Kaamelott that are going to be hard to decipher for people who haven’t seen it. Here’s one I think you’ll enjoy:

16.) which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

The one I agree with is that French people complain all the time because we really, really do, haha. I don’t agree with the stereotype that French people are lazy though, we just don’t live to work but why are we acting like it’s a bad thing?? I don’t know, there are a lot of negative stereotypes about French people but tbh at the end of the day I don’t really care that much.

17.) are you interested in your country’s history?

Sure, it’s definitely interesting, but there’s so much of it it can be a little intimidating.

18.) do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Nope.

19.) do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

Our emblem is le coq (the rooster), which you only see on the French team’s shirts, just like you’re most likely to see the flag when there’s a World Cup. It’s fine I guess, I don’t really have an opinion on it.

Our national anthem is kind of problématique but it does go hard. I’ll give it that. Like, if you’ve ever watched that scene from Casablanca where they sing La Marseillaise you’ll understand what I mean by that.

20.) which sport is The Sport in your country?

Mbappé Soccer :)

21.) if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

I’ve been puzzling over this question for weeks, haha, and I’m still not sure what it means, like? Do you mean annoying people I’d launch into space or XD

22.) what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

I don’t have a lot of national pride tbh. I’m ashamed about a lot of the public discourse, the islamophobia, the state violence, the way Nicolas Sarkozy and the media brought far-right talking points into the mainstream and now we’re all swimming in their shit.

I’m proud to know that French people are always ready to burn shit down though.

23.) which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

According to Google it’s beer. I would’ve probably said wine.

24.) what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

Probably Belgium. There’s lots of belgian jokes.

25.) would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

I don’t really think about stuff like that. Every country has its own issues, so it is what it is.

26.) does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

Oh boy, does it ever. Every time a new season of Emily in Paris comes out you can bet French Twitter is gonna have a field day over this shit XD

27.) favourite national celebrity?

When you say national celebrity my first thought immediately goes to Jean-Jacques Goldman. Amazing songwriter, but also very well-known for his work with the Restos du Cœur, a French charity that was founded by his friend the comedian Coluche and les Restos famously do more for the poor than our own government ever would. Probably why Goldman gets elected personnalité préférée des Français every other year. (He also pays his taxes in France, unlike some people, and we always appreciate that here.)

28.) does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

It does. I think the most famous are the river Seine, the Mont-Blanc (although that crosses over into Italy) and as far as lakes go I’m sure there are a lot but I can’t think of a really well-known one.

29.) does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

My city does have beef with another city, but I won’t say which for privacy reasons ;)

30.) do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

My paternal grandmother was from Laos and my paternal grandfather’s family immigrated from Italy (not him directly, but his mother). I think there’s some German (well, Prussian) and Flemish on my mother’s side. My aunt’s husband is also from Italy, and my eldest brother’s wife is from Madagascar. I think that’s all :)

Thank you so much for asking, friend, I can only hope I didn’t totally bore you to death XD

“Hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

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