#of when i say i love you. dear god i love everyone ive ever met i love you. please please please please understand how desperate i am

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi. can i share something. its pretty personal...its sad but also a message of hope.

so. ive been freaking out rly bad about attending this bladee show tomorrow, august 6th. the real reason for this is not just my ocd and social anxiety but also.. last year on august 6th my really good friend died. they were going by the name saint at the time. i only knew them online but we were extremely close since around 2014. we would talk often, and in-depth, bcus we both had extensive interest in metaphysics, god, angels, etc. and we both had dead parents, specifically dead from illness, so we rly deeply related to each other on those matters. they were like 9 years older than me, so i looked up to them as an older sibling. it absolutely shattered my heart when i found out they died because i know it was an accident. i think they OD’d on fentanyl cus they had been posting about relapsing shortly b4 they died. but i dont know for sure, there’s no obituary for them since they don’t have parents or family. i have cried about it every day for a year.

when i saw what day the bladee show was, i felt a million feelings at once, like, oh my god, is this some kind of orchestrated angel event? saint had the most unwavering faith, they believed in angels more than anyone ive ever met, there was no doubt in their mind. we would talk about our synchronicities constantly. it was our fav thing to discuss. they were so validating of my experiences. so in a way, i rly feel like, their angel is escorting me to this show as some sort of gift for making it thru the past year. ive been going thru my saturn return on top of grieving their death, and idk, its just been one of the worst times in my life, ive never been closer to giving up. the timing of this show rly makes me feel like saint is blessing me. bladee, saint and I are all life path 9s who r obsessed w metaphysics n spirituality, which adds to the meaning of this synchronicity for me.

the reason ive been so terrified to attend the show is because i keep having ocd freakouts that someone is going to die or that, like, this date is evil and tainted or soemthing. like literally to the point that ive spent a few entire days this past week just crying in my bed because im so terrified of losing anyone else in my life. but as the show gets closer, i am realizing i just need to trust god and believe that im allowed to enjoy myself. believe that saint’s angel is protecting me and my loved ones, just like they have every day for the past year. they have sent me so many signs, and ive known a lot of dead people but never have i received so many obvious signs from anyone, even my own father. it makes me wonder if saint graduated the rebirth cycle, since they were a 9, and they brought so much goodness to this world. i think they graduated and are now a very powerful angel forever.

its been so hard to go on without them. they were my grief councellor fr. there were some years of my life where they were one of the only people i talked to because no one else could understand. they loved POSTING, we met on tumblr and they were always so supportive of the way i express myself. after they died was when i started drawing and posting on here again bcus i knew i had to honor them this way. i cant put into words how much their friendship impacted me and i wish i could do more, i wish i cld plaster their face onto every wall and scream from the rooftops “THATS MY FRIEND AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!”. god i am going to cry so much at the bladee show, i know they’ll b rite there on my shoulder the whole time.

if u read all this, thank you. it weighs on me massively n i try not to show it too much online but man. i have been a mess. n sometimes i just wanna spill my guts. i cld say so so much more about my dear friend but i’ll leave it at this for now. im praying that the show goes well tomorrow and everyone makes it there safely. if u guys cld pray for me too id rly appreciate. i rly feel like saint is with me and im allowed to have hope now. i love you saint. thankyou for posting so much so i have plenty to look back on. <3

[objectcrazy]

i would be such a good twitch streamer if god didn’t make my fucking birth gender so repulsively apparent in my voice. it sounds fine in my head but when i listen to recordings it is DISGUSTINGLY gendered. i hope it never gets connected to my social media presence.

and before anyone tries you can’t convince me to like it! no! its not because i think it sounds ugly its sounds normal its the wrong gender! you can’t convince me its the right gender!

it’ll never be right for me. i don’t think a day in my life will come where everyone in the room can’t immediately tell what i was born as. even if i didn’t talk, theres so many factors. i have to live my life with the ever present fact that i will be exclusively referred to as what i was born and not what i identify as.

because i can’t see myself being out of the closet in real life anytime soon. because ive tried and i can’t escape the close. ive told my mom TWO TIMES that id like to be nonbinary. and she still misgenders me. in private. where there’s nobody to hide it from. she really just forgot. how could she forget something so near and dear to my heart? to intentionally or not, ignore a essential part of my identity? does she even really love me?

does anyone really love me? would anyone ive met call me “they”? ive heard one of my aunts say she’d never call someone that. and nobody called her out on it. she’s gotten no consequences for such horrid beliefs. it makes me so feel so unsafe in this family.

i hate this fucking fence i sit on. i can’t be normal and happy that i fit in with normal people. but i can’t be openly not normal and be proud of that and accepted for it. the fence fucking hurts but i will never be able to get off it will i? i sit up here, looking down at how happy id be on either side forever cursed to join neither and stay in the painful middle. i hate it up here. i wanna get down. i wish i wasn’t like this.

anyways if i was a twitch streamer id stream so much fucking pokemon hell yeah!!!! 10 hr stream of me failing to hatch a shiny eevee lmao and i say funny memes hahaha.

#vent / rant #vent #tw: vent #gender #gender dysphoria #nonbinary #enbie #nonbinary struggles #trans #transgender #tw: misgendering #tw: dysphoria

[jeonfiles]

better left unsaid - jjk

genre: angst, rebounds

pairings: jungkook x reader (ft. namjoon)

warnings: arguing, alcohol, profanity, break ups, light smut, use of drugs, jungkook is a fucking dick, jungkook has major attachment issues, toxic relationships, oc cries a lot, namjoon has a heart of gold, unrequited love

synopsis: you knew you shouldnt have given him that second chance, not the third or the fourth either. no matter how much you try he always slithers his way underneath your sheets, arms wrapped around you.

word count: 2.7k

music: into your arms, so it ends?, you will fade, thinkin bout you, julia, my insecurities not yours, fuck u, goodluck, my dear i will think of you

note: uhh ive never written a y/n fic so bare with me, if u listen to the music you’ll be able to feel the story a lot more so yeah if u have time u should, not proof read

Light coming through the cracks of the blinds, making you squint your eyes when the daylight beams into your eyes, head resting on the kitchen island Looking up, you saw the clock ticking on the wall, 11:32 am.

You had stayed up till 5 am, waiting for him to come home, but seemingly, he never did. Reaching for your phone, you saw 4 missed calls from the one and only,

Jeon Jungkook, saved in your phone as “Koo <3″, Rows of messages too, all from the same contact.

Koo <3 [05:34 am]

baby pkck me up pleseee

im so wsated

Koo <3 [06.46am]

dont be mad at me jsut pick me up

i dont knw hewere the fuck i am

i love you

Koo <3 [07:31 am]

i got a rde home i’ll be home by 12

i need to talk to someone frsit

im sorry if i woke ypu dont be worried

You took a few moments to collect your thoughts, but there wasn’t much to collect. This whole thing, was a routine by now.

Standing up to make yourself a cup of coffee, you could literally not feel your own backside, you were so sore from the barstool you had been sitting on all night, and it made you groan in pain.

Two coffee cups right beside the kitchen sink, which you couldn’t bring yourself to clean up, because it was from the last time you had coffee together, which was 2 weeks ago.

The inside of the cup had a coffee crust at the top, and both your lip tint marks on the outside.

When you finish your cup of coffee while watching a bad telenovela, you go sit in your favorite chair and pull out a few books from the backpack hanging on the chair next to you, getting ready to get some studying done.

For a few seconds you imagine Jungkook hanging over your shoulder laughing at the way you write your A-s and R-s, or the way you always sign your homework at the bottom of the page.

And when you open them, there’s no one there. The only sound is from the refrigerator, making refrigerator noises.

You had met Jungkook 3 years ago, when you were at college orientation, senior year of high school. He also wanted to attend Yonsei, just like you.

And when he whispered to you about how bored he was, you couldn’t help but giggle, and then you got yelled at.

It was worth it though, because everyone was jealous of you afterwards,the  Jeon Jungkook had talked to you.

Jungkook was an all-rounder as they called it; great physique, intelligent, charismatic and great at sports.

And god, he had a beautiful face, and such a filthy mouth, and it didn’t go long before you gave in to his seductive ways and slept with him. The morning after, he wasn’t in bed with you, and your heart sank.

Luckily, he was in the kitchen making you breakfast.

It was all bliss from there, showering you with love, gifts and kisses for two years, and you even ended up moving in together.

And now? You barely remember what he sounds like, smells like and is like.

A distant memory, just as distant as him.

Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted as you heard 3 knocks on your door. The exact same way he had always knocked when he had forgotten (or lost) his keys.

And even though you should have let him suffer a little, you rushed to the door to open it, and in front of you, was your biggest nightmare.

It was your love, crying his eyes out, bleeding from one of many cuts on his face, looking nearly dead. He collapsed into your arms, and you could only utter a few words, along the lines of:

“How could you do this to us?”

As he was laying curled up in a ball on the couch, face plastered up, ice bag on his knee, wrapped up in a blanket, you realized. this was your que to cry.

So, you did. You cried in silence, sitting across the room from him. You weren’t mad at him for coming home late, or getting in another fight, probably the 5th just these past months, you had gotten used to that by now.

There was a whole other reason that made you cry.

He smelled like Victorias Secret Bombshell, you recognized the scent because it used to be your favorite,  however, now you’ve moved onto something less sweet, and more elegant, like Caroline Herrera.

He smelled like someone who wasn’t you, his girlfriend.

He smelled like another girl.

It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe because the Jungkook that had come home to you that morning wasn’t your Jungkook.

Your Jungkook was varsity jackets, star of the american football team (which your school was known for), selfless and humorous, and he would always take care of you.

Your Jungkook was not ungroomed hair, cigarettes and worsening grades. He was not cold and lifeless, and he would never make you cry.

Despite this, you were carding your fingers though his hair, thumb wiping away the blood on his lips while he was sound asleep as you slowly fell asleep next to him.

Maybe it was time to let him go. 

Maybe.

You woke a few hours later from your phone vibrating.

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:01 pm]

Hey Y/N! Have you started working on the statistics assignment?

If you haven’t, would you be interested in meeting at the library tomorrow? You’re really smart and i’m kinda struggling ://

You [07:03 pm]

i finished it yesterday, but if you buy me coffee i’ll come help you hehe

Kim Namjoon (school) [07:04 pm]

You’re the best, I’ll bring you a machiatto!! :D

Maybe it would be nice for you to get out of the house, even though you hate the thought of it, and you would much rather just swim in your own sorrow.

But you did go out the next day, and you helped Namjoon get a decent grade, enough to pass with good margines, he thanked you by taking you out for ramen at a convenial store not too far away.

You thanked him for the ramen with a trip to the museum, and he thanked you for the museum trip with a picnic in the park at night, which led you to crying over Jungkook in his embrace, telling him every single little detail.

He made you realize it was time to let Jungkook go and make room for new people to enter your life.

You went home that night, and you found Jungkook passed out on the couch, and you could genuienly feel your chest tighten. Soft features which stood out under the moonlight glow, disheveled brown locks which hung down in his eyes.

He was gorgeous, until you saw the credit card on the table next to three bottles of soju and an empty beer can on the floor. And you knew what he had used the credit card for, though you didn’t want to say it out loud.

You cleaned everything up, and you threw the residue of the white powder right in the trash can, and you recycled his bottles and cans before finally, nudging him to wake up.

“Jungkook, wake up.” You spat coldly, or at least you attempted to.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes before opening his eyes, and s huge smile on his face. “Y/N, you’re home!” He reached to kiss you, but you backed away.

“Y/N?” Jungkook questioned, he didn’t quite understand what your intentions were.

“Don’t try anything Jungkook. This was your last chance, and you fucked it up, again.” The room turned ice cold. “I’m getting you help Jungkook, you need help. And then...”

He understood what kind of help you meant, and since he had now sobered up, he agreed, nodding. “And then...?” 

“And then.” Your words were ludged in your throat. “And then I’m leaving you.”

His whole face dropped, smile turned into the frowniest frown you had ever seen, and it was all silent before his lower lip starts trembling, and his eyes start turning glassy.

“It’s alright. Sorry for burdening you.” Was all he could say before tears rushed down his cheeks, and he started shaking.

So you did what you always had done, and you wrapped your arms around him, head resting on your chest as he sobbed.

“Is there anyone else?” he cried out before another wave of sobs hit him.

This exact question made your stomach hurt, and your throat burn. You really had no idea.

Or you did, but you didn’t want to.

You loved Jungkook so much, but you couldn’t be with him in this state. So you did what every rational person would do in this situation.

“Yeah.”

You lied.

“Oh ok. I don’t have the right to be mad do I?”

You shake your head no.

“I love you Y/N. I’m sorry I’m so messed up.”

“It’s ok.” was all he said before he fell asleep in your arms again.

That night you slither your way out of his embrace and you pack your suitcase in the dark, bringing all your essentials, trying to be as quiet as possible so you didn’t wake Jungkook.

Packing enough for two weeks or so, you make the bed and leave your t-shirt “accidentally” in the bathroom, and you make sure all his clothes are folded, and then you sort his pencil case, throwing out old pens and worn out erasers.

You leave a grocery list on the counter, and you tuck him in good under the blankets after you took his jeans and socks off so he could sleep comfortably.

You placed his vitamins and medicine by the refrigerator so he’ll see it when he goes to grab something to eat. 

Puffed up pillows, a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and underwear is now placed neatly on his bed. Then you walk into the kitchen again, and you see Jungkook still sound asleep, sniffling a little still.

There’s one last thing, and it makes you cry. It makes you sob so loud you cover your mouth and muffle the sound you make. Sinking to the floor, your whole body is in contact with the cold tiles.

Only a year ago you could never imagine yourself even shedding a single tear over something as small as this, but here you were, on the edge of a panic attack.

Two worn out, matching couple mugs still placed by the counter. one if the first things you two had bought together, as well as the necklace hanging around your neck.

Finally, you stopped crying and started cleaning the mugs, lip trembling as you dried them and placed them in the back of the cabinet.

You unhooked your necklace and laid it down on the counter, and the biggest lump formed in your throat.

Actually, there’s a little detail you forget. 

You kiss Jungkook on the forehead and leave a note on the coffee table.

“Dear Jungkook,

If you want to make this up to me (this does not mean a new chance!!) you call the number at the bottom of the page. No matter what happens, I’ll always have room for you in my heart. You even have your own little VIP lobby in there. And - if it’s urgent, call. I still care for you, and I always have. You were the best boyfriend I’ve had, but good things always come to and end, don’t they? Anyways, I’m tired so this letter fucking sucks, but deep down you know how much I love you. Remember to get groceries, shower, get fresh air and study. If I forgot something you can keep it, as long as you call the number and tell them you’re my friend. They’ll help you love. Try and get a part time job too, your student loan and your dad’s money won’t last forever. Good luck Koo. Hwaiting!!

-L/N Y/N <33″

You cringe when you think of the letter’s contents, before you roll out your suitcase out of the front door, whispering a faint “Goodnight Love.” as you close and lock the door behind you.

Standing by the elevator, you cry again. This time, louder, but you still reach for your phone and type out a text to the newly edited contact in your phone.

You [02:13 am]

coming outside now, im a crying mess and im super cold, is your car heated?

sorry for making you wait btw :((

Joonie <3 [02:13 am]

dont worry about the crying part, i’ll hold you. and yeah car is heated, so waiting here wasnt all that bad. you ready for this?

You  [02:14 am]

i have no idea but i cant stay here any longer and i trust you sooo

lets start our new chapter. eh?

4 months later...

He had been good to you, great even.

You had been on expensive dates, picnics, had heart to heart conversations, and he’d been so understanding.

Today, it was your 2 month anniversary, and he had asked you on a magnificent date, which he had planned every second of.

At the end of the day, you told him how you don’t love him. He said it was alright. Namjoon loved you, so much, yet he understood you needed time.

You went to sleep that day, warm in Namjoon’s embrace, wondering how Jungkook was doing. 

You felt bad, but you missed Jungkook.

You were both with someone new now, and you knew he was in good hands with someone stable enough to care for him.

Before your eyes closed shut, you shed a few quiet tears and hoped that you’d fall in love with Namjoon soon, and deep down you knew you would.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #namjoon smut #jungkook ff #bts ff #bts imagines #bts scenarios #namjoon ff #bangtan smut #jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jeongguk ff

[poppystain]

SENTENCE  STARTERS :  THE  INVISIBLE  LIFE  OF  ADDIE  LARUE  BY  V.E.  SCHWAB 

PART I: THE GODS THAT ANSWER AFTER DARK

❛ don’t you remember when you were nothing but shadow and smoke? ❜

❛ darling, i was the night itself. ❜

❛ some days you’re stuck with what you’ve got. ❜

❛ heaven is a nice spot in the shade, a broad tree over my bones. ❜

❛ spells are for witches, and witches are too often burned. ❜

❛ never pray to the gods that answer after dark. ❜

❛ i am always with you. ❜

❛ am i the devil? or the dark? am i a monster? or a god? ❜

❛ i do not want to belong to someone else. ❜

❛ i want more time. ❜

❛ are you a stranger or a spirit? ❜

❛ you wanted to be free. ❜

❛ it is a lonely thing to be forgotten. to remember when no one else does. ❜

❛ how do you walk to the end of the world? ❜

❛ come live with me and be my love. ❜

❛ you do not know what love is. ❜

❛ if you sold your soul for one thing, what would it be? ❜

PART II: THE DARKEST PART OF THE NIGHT

❛ you are entirely hopeless. ❜

❛ this, is a story of gods. ❜

❛ drink with me. ❜

❛ if a person cannot leave a mark, do they even exist? ❜

❛ with time, you can get used to anything. ❜

❛ you can have my life when i am done with it. you can have my soul when i don’t want it anymore. ❜

❛ you will give in, soon enough. ❜

❛ water me, and watch me bloom. ❜

❛ they say people are like snowflakes, each one unique, but i think they’re more like skies. some are cloudy, some are stormy, some are clear, but no two are ever quite the same. ❜

❛ i am not yours. ❜

❛ am i the devil, or the darkness? ❜

❛ stop pretending you did me a kindness instead of a cruelty. ❜

❛ you have grown teeth. ❜

PART III: THREE HUNDRED YEARS — AND THREE WORDS

❛ i was thinking, that it must be so easy to be a man. ❜

❛ there is something timeless about you. ❜

❛ i thought you were a new yorker. ❜

❛ do you ever feel like you’re running out of time? ❜

❛ it did not feel like courage, it felt as if i had no choice. ❜

❛ do you think a life has any value if one doesn’t leave some mark upon the world?❜

❛ i think there are many ways to matter. ❜

❛ i know your heart, dear. i feel when it falters. ❜

❛ i am the night itself. i see everything. ❜

❛ you thought i would wither without your attention. ❜

❛ would you rather feel nothing or everything? ❜

❛ i thought you had better things to do than plague me. ❜

❛ you’re being an ass. ❜

❛ he’s still in love with you. ❜

❛ but i can’t love him back. ❜

❛ without me you will always be alone. ❜

❛ are you still drunk? ❜

❛ don’t forget me. ❜

PART IV: THE MAN WHO STAYED DRY IN THE RAIN

❛ time moves so fucking fast. ❜

❛ you’re not enough. ❜

❛ we can’t help who we fall in love with. ❜

❛ pain can be beautiful. ❜

❛ i am the one who sees kindling and strokes the flame. ❜

❛ i can look at you and see you as you are. ❜

❛ you look like shit. ❜

❛ my little storm cloud, don’t let it get too dark in here. ❜

❛ come home with me. ❜

❛ god, it feels good to be wanted. ❜

❛ don’t get me wrong. you’re cute. but i’m still a lesbian. ❜

❛ the question is simple, what do you want for yourself? ❜

❛ you are impossible, a paradox, a collection at odds. ❜

❛ they look at you and see whatever they want… because they don’t see you at all. ❜

❛ what do you see in me? ❜

PART V: THE SHADOW WHO SMILED AND THE GIRL WHO SMILED BACK

❛ and you think me the devil, now? ❜

❛ say the word, and i will lay my soul bare before you. ❜

❛ you do have a way of finding trouble. ❜

❛ humans are so ill-equipped for peace. ❜

❛ are you not a god of chaos? ❜

❛ i am a god of promise. ❜

❛ do not mistake this kindness. ❜

❛ i simply want to be the one who breaks you. ❜

❛ i do what i have to, and it’s not always nice, and it’s not always fair, but it’s how i survive. ❜

❛ i can be wild. i can be stubborn as weeds, and you will not root me out. ❜

❛ we are not so different, are we? ❜

❛ i have seen your truest form. you cannot scare me now. ❜

❛ in the end, everyone wants to be remembered. ❜

❛ i am a muse and you are a thief. ❜

PART VI: DO NOT PRETEND THAT THIS IS LOVE

❛ i know i can be cruel but nature can be crueler. ❜

❛ you know how to summon gods. ❜

❛ who knew gods were so nostalgic? ❜

❛ you have not been human since the night we met. ❜

❛ i would rather be a ghost. ❜

❛ have you missed me? ❜

❛ immortality breeds a high tolerance for risk. ❜

❛ there are things worse than death. ❜

❛ i want you. i have always wanted you. ❜

❛ will you vanish with the sun? ❜

❛ how often did you think of me? ❜

❛ you are not capable of love. ❜

❛ love is hungry. love is selfish. ❜

❛ do not pretend that this is love. ❜

❛ dance with me. ❜

❛ stay with me, i’m here. ❜

❛ i am tired of losing. tired of mourning everything i try to love. ❜

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp starter #rp starters #sentence starters

[bubsdolan]

80 and 127 with gray please <3

“The things that I want to do to you, baby.”, “Are you wearing my shirt?”.

smut masterlist.

kappa sigma was the biggest and most notorious fraternity on campus. it was home to the entire football team, the most popular and sort after boys at your college- and these boys knew how to throw a party.

every friday night, after a clear win and success on the pitch, kappa sigma throw their annal celebratory party. an open invitation to everyone at the college, some even outside of campus but no one ever kept track on who was in attendance. the mastermind behind it all- grayson dolan.

grayson dolan was captain, star of the team and the one everyone idolised. he was the typical all the boys wanted to be him and all the girls wanted him. he slept around- a lot- never one to be tied down or give into commitment no matter how many people tried. that was until he met you.

you were never one to attend the parties that occurred in kappa sigma, they quite frankly bored you. you enjoyed drinking yes, but the idea of being surrounded and trapped in a sweaty environment with people you had no interested in, didnt appeal to you. however, when your bestfriend, your sister, your twin flame begged and pledged with you to attend the party, so she could sleep with her dream man, her biggest crush and conquest- ethan dolan- you ran out of excuses to give her.

after a night of heavy drinking and flirting, your friend managed to snag ethan dolan. ending the night in his bed after the party drew to a close and in turn leaving you to fend for yourself and sleep on the sofa of a fraternity house that smelt of strong substances and sex. ethan kindly offered you a shirt, an oversized jersey that came down to your knees, in order for you to get a comfortable night sleep and not worry about your bestfriend getting absolutely railed a few doors down.

of course you could have gone back to your dorm, it was across campus. but you were alone. dressed in tight revealing clothing and it was baring on 3am. ethan cared for your bestfriend, more then you had originally anticipated when promising to be her wing man, and therefore he cared for you. persisting you spent the night than you could leave bright and early in the morning when it felt safer to do so.

and that’s exactly how you ended up in the company of grayson dolan. shirtless and smirking down at you after you had misjudged your steps and slammed right into his toned physique. grayson was an early riser at the best times, but in this instant he had woken up a few extar hours early to sneak out a girl he had already forgotten the name off. not wanting to deal with the questions and attack from his fellow fraternity.

grayson was surprised, yet somewhat exhilarated to see you. in his home, and wearing his jersey? at first he got jealous in thinking you had slept with one of his brothers, all of them knowing deep down his evergrowing crush on you. but after he saw his number adorning your beautiful body, he felt smug. 

“are you wearing my shirt?” were the first words grayson spoke after your little run in. you watched him usher the blonde girl out the door without such a goodbye, before inturn collideding his body with yours. your felt small by the way his eyes raked up and down your frame, admiring the way you looked in his jersey with nothing underneath.

“oh-“ you avoid his intense gaze. feeling slightly intimidated by his sudden appearanceand the way he was staring at you with hunger. “so-sorry, ethan let me borrow it after last night.”

this made grayson seethe with anger, his mind automatically thinking the worst in his brother breaking bro code and sleeping with the only girl who had his younger twins heart. but when he heard giggles coming from ethans room, a squeal and the banging of the headboard, his anger was replaced.

“keep it, looks good on you,” grayson reached forward to brush a few stray hairs away from your face, slowly backing you into a wall as he trapped your body between his. his hand slowly lowerd down to your hip when he sees you bite on your bottom lip and continue to hold his gaze. he waited for you to shy away, to push him away and reject all his advances, but when you don't - he takes this as his sign. 

grayson then proceeds to dip his lips down to the skin of your neck and suck on it. earning a hearty moan from you that went straight to his pants, making him copy the same moan, one he needed to hear again for the rest of the life his.

“the things i want to do to you, baby.” grayson whispers in the crook of you neck. not quite believing the position he’s in, with his dream girl and living out his fantasies he slept away with other woman. hoping one day it would be you. 

“p-please, grayson,” you plead, hands coming down to squeeze and dig your nails into his delicious biceps, as he teasingly pushes his jersey up to expose your already dripping core. god, the sight of you was picturesque. he couldn’t thank god enough for his luck, for allowing him to have you.

“are you sure about this, y/n. s’want this to be different, yaknow,” the sincerity in his words confused you. how different could a quick one night stand be to a promiscuous grayson dolan. the man who fucked anything with a pulse and didnt give a second thought about the consequences of his actions. however, right now you didn't dear delve deeper, so desperate to experience the one thing all the girls on campus bragged about. 

“yes-yes, please. need you,” your body is overcome with confidence. pulling at grayson’s body to lean in closer and feel his surprisely soft lips agasint your own. both fighting for dominance before grayson wins and slips his tonuge in and takes control. sparks flying is the only way to describe it, you had never felt more of a connection in such a hungry and lusful makeout. it felt different, raw and real. a feeling totally unexpected and taking you off guard.

“tell me you’ll be mine and ill give you everything you want.”

“gray-“ you pull away from him. trying to piece together everything he’s was saying in his moment of desperation. did he say this to all his conquests?

“baby, ive been in love with you since forever-“ grayson was ready to go into a deeper confession, one he had been holding back ever since he first laid eyes on you- but was suddenly cut off by your lips on his. bringing him back down to earth and having him right where you wanted.

“show me. show me how much you love me.”

slowly inserting his penis into you tight hole, grayson holds you close. guiding your body back and fourth on his member as he fucked you out in the open space of a frat home, housed to multiple college students that could easily walk out at any moment and catch you in the act.

his thrusts deepened the more he felt your walls stretch around him and become accustomed to his size. he couldn’t help but let out a whimper at the feeling of your walls clenching and unclenching around him. you felt heavenly, making him feel like a virgin all over again as he tried to fight through the tightness of your folds.

“ahh, fuck! feels s-so good,” your head falls onto grayson’s shoulder. his body being the only source of support as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and hit all the spots inside you no one else had yet to uncover. grayson knew what he was doing.

“so pretty for me, look at you. so desperate and needy, such a good girl.”

“shit shit shit, im close!”

“cum for me, baby. wanna feel you release all over my dick, hmmm,” grayson’s hips pick up their pace. his hands tightening on your skin as he growls lowly in your ear. breathing in the intoxicating scent of you that kept him addicted. your body, your pussy, your love, everything he hoped it would be and more.

grayson felt his whole world officially start the minute he feels you cream around his dick. he held you, kissed you and fucked you through your intense orgasm. praising you for being such a good little cum slut and taking his dick so well.

you were more than a fuck to him. the second you gave your body to grayson, in a way he was used to having girls offer on a plate at the blink of a eye, grayson vowed to never disrespect you the way he done previously. he promised to treat you with the upmost love and appreciation, care and tenderness you deserved. you, y/n, tamed grayson dolan.

#bubsdolan #grayson #grayson dolan #grayson dolan smut #grayson smut #grayson dolan oneshot #grayson oneshot #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan concept #grayson concept #grayson imagine #grayson blurb #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fic #grayson fluff #grayson dolan fluff #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson fic #grayson dolan x reader #grayson x reader #dolan twins #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins concept #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins smut #dolan twins oneshot #dolan twins x reader #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins fic #dolan twins fluff

[owlf45]

Alright, starting @aconstantstateofbladerunner’s Butterfly. I’ll probably do three or four chapters per entry. Time to fear and be afraid. I am already filled with dread 

First chapter! 

First line: “Izuku is fading.” Diction sounds pretty deliberate. It matches the context but knowing Blade’s careful attention to detail I’m assuming that line means so much more for future chapters, so I Am Feeling Fear Already 

Dadmight my beloved 

Love the writing style. It feels sparse but saturated with emotion, while balancing a very conversational note. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that most of the richer and detailed writing comes with the more intense moments

Anyway calm before the storm. I’m so happy yay :’) cant you tell how relieved i am?? so relieved. 

haha oh no ive heard about all the foreshadowing in this first chapter,, and even with the knowledge and spoilers i still dont quite get it even though clearly the superman books mean something,, oh no 

Dadmight my beloved

Blue Beetle,, bugs,,, blue beetle,, i remember that guy. hm > - > the blue beetles had pretty cool powers from my memory. oh theres the explanation, there’s jaime,, oh boy im getting jaime & butterfly parallels already, perhaps, maybe 

A SOUND OF THUNDER. oh boy 

Yes, i will say this everytime its relevant, irritating or not, you know what im going to say...  Dadmight, my beloved

He called All Might dad,,, aw 

Second chapter! 

Dadmight my beloved 

Dadmight my beloved 

Dadmight my beloved 

Love the friendship between Izuku and Aoyama. It’s great. We need more Aodeku friendship,, 

the fact that so much of the class is suspicious of the illegitimate child theory from Todoroki is hilarious. I love that 

oh yay,, little towns hating outsiders,, children,, even though theyve never met them. love that,, small town feelings amiright haha,, jfc 

oh mineta and izuku rooming together. thats interesting. its probably how itd actually go in canon, minetas always seemingly tied up with or partnered with izuku some way or another 

I love Cheat-A and her quirk, it’s great. Also tradition cjwodnskdn that was funny. Here’s to hoping that she’s not the one who dies,,, ahah,,

“Oh, and Young Midoriya!” he called. Izuku stopped and turned around. “This is a pretty rural area, so there are a lot of bugs. Watch your step!” he teased and winked.

Pain pain pain pain pain

The whole teaching lesson with Izuku about breaking his bones was so cute,, aghhh I love that

Everyone picking and teasing on Izuku just ughh the class interactions are great. Love all their friendships

One or both of the Safari Duo Heroes are gonna die and I don’t know which but I feel eternal fear for them. Cheat-A is the more interesting of the two so my bets are on her even though I don’t want it to be

Oh no,, not public speaking,, it always makes me anxious even when it’s not damn real

Chapter 3! 

the chapter is called ‘the calm’ and there’s no way there won’t be dead bodies in this 

cold cold cold cold 

sero!!!! my beloved!!! 

i love midnight’s characterization in this fieowfnowie she’s great

“anyone ever told you you’d be a great villain?” 

sweats nervously haha,, oh no,, not that,, 

damn pathfinder, could you chill out a little,, fuckin jeez 

love the characterization from the kids who failed the entrance exam. feels realistic and something that’d actually be in the anime as a struggle. though it does make me want to punch him in the face a little. what an asshole 

sero & izuku friendship,, god i love it 

also can i just say that i love the characterization of all the kids? they actually feel like theyre children trying to have fun. its great 

There’s the dead body.

Ahah,,, oh dear,,, there it goes,, I guess I’ll end it here,, tomorrow is a new day

#butterfly #live blogging till i drop #the one and only blade

[dear-yandere]

— oyasumi dazai.

ada! osamu dazai x reader.

cw: yandere, romanticization of suicide and death, nihilism, depersonalization, implied death, themes of regret and grief.

wc: 1985.

disclaimer: the following content does not depict a healthy relationship, please read the warnings carefully. by click the read more button, you are giving your consent to read this content.

“isn’t it lovely, all alone?” 

i.

he dreams of death.

the stench of iron and the sight of bones is nothing new, but he dreams of death like one would dream of the future. he supposes he is nobody, because no one ever dreams of their own passing (not willingly). people are pushed to that point, betrayed and hurt and put through enough suffering that life no longer seems worth living. whether life is or isn’t worth the effort lays with them, dazai reckons, but the urge to reason death from life has never crossed his mind. to him, to live is to suffer — that is, suffering is inevitable. within the same vein, it must mean that to live is to make the best of that suffering, but what is life if you’d never asked to be born?

the question is foreign and familiar all the same — bittersweet on his tongue, a plague on his mind. his life has always been filled with nothing. the smile of loving parents was a sight he’s unfamiliar with. in comparison to the misfortunes of many others, his parents were saints; and, in comparison to the fortunes of others, they were demons. and yet, that laid the problem. they have a role in this world, a calling, a purpose. but dazai… he is nothing. nothing but a black stain on this white earth. from the day he took his first breath, death has been both friend and foe, a tease and a reprieve for a boy who’d never wished to breathe life.

but, where death comes easy to others, it is nothing short of a luxury for him. it does not welcome him with open arms, nor does it even look his way. suicide after suicide attempt and yet he is still alive. and he has to wonder, is life a gift — as everyone claims it is — or a curse? and why? why was he gifted, why was he cursed? the distinction makes no difference to him, but why must it be him? was he brought into this world for a purpose? for some sort of greater good, or evil? or do the gods simply enjoy the frailty of human life and the suffering it comes with?

of all the people in this wretched world, why is he alive?

ii.

from his first breath, he begun to blacken. his heart is not his own, has never been his own (it beats for someone who is, and never will be, him.) his body holds nothing but muscle and blood and sinew, a vessel he’s been forced into without second thought. he’s never thought of it as anything more. not a temple nor a burden, just… some thing. something that is not his. something that isn’t meant to be his, as if he’s an outsider looking in through the hollows of his eyes.

humanity was always something unbeknownst to him, something he could never quite get a grasp of. the thoughts of others could never quite fit into the process of his mind, its recesses far too unaccustomed to how others should or shouldn’t feel. their expressions are unreadable at all times, a fault that has led to bullying and alienation. he never shed a tear; loneliness is to be expected when you have nowhere to fit in. he is pure black. he may as well be invisible to the human eye, no different than an ant that passersby would carelessly step on without thought. he is no different from anyone else, because he is worse.

had he sold his happiness to the devil in a past life? is life his punishment, or is this how dull it’s meant to be?

cynical — a word used to describe him all too often, but it’s never been dear to dazai’s heart. words, in fact, have never been able to describe him, not in a way he ever found fitting. what does it mean to be cynical? what does it mean to be human? what does it mean to be alive, to have a beating heart, to have feelings? twenty-one years on this earth and he’s never once found an answer.

life, it seems, is something not meant for the likes of him.

and yet, suicide never got him anywhere. whether it be the fault of dumb luck or his own ineptitude, dazai could never die. it’s laughable, how even though his heart beats without his own will, he cannot make it stop. as if some cruel god reveled in how much torture it is for him to live a life he did not ask for. every noose left him choking for air but never took his life. every gun shot blanked or missed his brain entirely. every stab and cut never hit his arteries, never allowed him the luxury of bleeding out. like water in a vase, waiting until the surface tension is broken by a slight drop and starts to overflow — dazai spent his days in hopes of when his own heart would overflow and spill.

life was given to him, and life will not be taken by his own hands.

iii.

he dreams of death so often, his only nightmare is awaking the next day.

he will only ever just be… him. forever living, forever beating and breathing — the thought of experiencing life like others do is something out of a children’s book, to him. to strive for goals, to be torn apart by failures, to get up after being knocked down again and again. he understands it in theory, the process of living, but to put any further meaning on his or anyone else’s existence seems beyond the furthest reaches of his mind.

nothing makes sense.

“i never understood the fuss over weddings, going so far as to plan one’s entire life around it.” he says one day, eyes locked on the black coffee in his hands. darkness always did make him feel at home. “funerals are much more exciting. i’ve planned mine already.” a smile twitches onto his face, one of genuine happiness and excitement. death is like a dear friend, one he feuds with often, and yet one he adores all the same.

but those aren’t words most would say. weddings are a day of joy, but to him, they can only bring grief, one unlike the kind funerals bring to others. the happiest day of his life will be the day he dies, and yet…

he finds himself wanting to marry you.

you, as beautiful as ever, crack a knowing smile and play his words off, shooing them from the air like a pesky insect. the coffee in your hands is almost pure white by this point; drowned in creams and syrups and sugars. he wonders if it’s a reflection of your heart or your soul. “but osamu, i’ve already planned our wedding. you wouldn’t die before we got married, would you?”

he smiles. it’s a reflection of your soul.

he wouldn’t dream of it.

iv.

there’s a reason for everything, or so he’s heard. a mantra mostly uttered by religious heretics, and yet the sentiment was enough to get him thinking; is there a reason he cannot die? is there a reason he’s doomed to live, until whatever entity that tortures him grows bored of his plights? is there a reason he’s alive?

you’re nothing new, nothing he hasn’t seen time and time again. but, he knew: you are his reason. he is a person that someone like you should never get close to. the sentiment is ingrained in his very being, to stay away from you. he knows already: that he will only taint you, corrupt you, drag you down to rock bottom with him. and, if there is a place lower than here, it would surely be hell.

you deserve better than that. you deserve better than him.

“if i were to ever unforgivably hurt you, promise me this.” his heart tugs uselessly, his mind already made up. “if i ever hurt you very, very deeply, please kill me at once.”

he places your hands at his neck and presses. your fingers don’t curl around the flesh like he wants them to, and he knows then that he will never deserve you. you are too good for him, too good to him; your heart is too white and his blackness will only taint it. but darkness cannot be without light. just as the pitch black can overtake the white, the white can overtake the pitch black. life is not solely black and white, he’s come to learn. to be born and to live is to tread through life in a series of greys. there is no good nor evil, only humanity. but, if he were to describe himself, he would surely be black.

“you’ll promise me this, right?”

you hesitate to answer. he caresses you gently, like his mother used to do for him. a means to quell and comfort others, he’s learned, and yet his heart still feels nothing but blackness. he’s never understood why you feel so hurt when he speaks of death so casually — his death is his and his alone, after all. no one would be affected, not for long. memories fade and hearts heal; he is but a stain on life, and no one would miss him.

“right, belladonna?” he prompts. “please say yes. to die by your hands would be my greatest joy. even more so if you were to join me in death, but i could never ask that of you…” he laughs at his desperation, knowing you’d never agree to a premature death like he. you have so much to live for, and he…

he was born to die.

“i promise, osamu.”

v.

you haunt him like a ghost.

he still dreams of death, because a world without you is one he no longer wants to live in. but you would want that for him. you know of his infatuation with the throes of death and yet you want the very thing he detests; for him to live. funny thing, life is. like an idiot ghost, he’d lived wandering through life without any direction. without purpose, dreams and ambitions never held any real meaning to him, not like they seemed to do for other people. the only thing that came close was… you.

he wants to hide like the coward he is. run away, start over again. forget this ever happened, forget he ever met you.

forget he ever tasted love.

it occurs to him that this must be that feeling of ‘regret’ he so often hears. and he’s reminded of odasaku, the only living being that had come close to eliciting some semblance of genuine emotion from dazai. the closest thing he could call to a true friend, dead. and, the closest thing he could call to a lover, gone. life isn’t meant for cowards like him.

but he lives. death has cursed him with the act of living; perhaps that’s a fate worse than death. he has spent all his life resisting the desire to end it, and he regrets never once succeeding. because now he has to live; to live with his own regrets and failures, all the things he said and didn’t say, all the things he did and shouldn’t have done.

he didn’t get to say ‘i love you’.

your tombstone is pristine and he wonders if death is just the same; clean. free of sin, free of burden. what a beautiful thought, one he’s begun to believe doesn’t truly exist. beauty is wasted on him and even death does not hear his pleas. because to seek beauty is human. to be played and toyed with is human.

and to break and destroy, is also human.

death is preferable to losing you. it laughed in his face when it came to claim you, took you away from him forever. to someplace far, far away — to someplace he can never belong.

he misses you. he wonders if you miss him too.

© dear-yandere, all rights reserved.

#yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu #yandere osamu dazai #yandere osamu dazai xreader #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #tw death #tw suicidal ideation #tw suicide mention #tw suicide attempts #tw depersonalization

[maira-writes-shit]

Wait I thought-

Semi Eita x Shirabu Kenjirou

Getting together, fluff

Part two of this

This is honestly kinda bad-

Playlist

„What the actually fuck?“

Shirabu touched his lips for like the 30th time that night.

Semi kissed me...

Semi kissed me.

„Semi kissed me!“

„Could you stop saying that? I know already.“

Yahaba was playing with his nails on his side of the video call.

“I’m having a crisis right now, Shigeru!“, Shirabu exclaimed as he slapped his hands over his eyes.

“You guys just need to talk.“ „I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU!“

„Communication is key, Shirabooboo! It worked for me and Ken.“ Yahaba said with a soft and kind of proud smile as he looked at the picture of himself and his now boyfriend, as Shirabu had just found out, that was sitting on Yahaba’s desk.

Shirabu rolled his eyes but silently agreed with his best friend.

Shirabu‘s stomach was running wild right now.

It was the next day and he had come to the conclusion to finally talk to Semi about what happened.

What if he didn’t mean it?

What if he will just make fun of you?

Are you sure you want to do this?

Shirabu pushed his thoughts down as he walked up to the music rooms Semi usually spent his Sundays when they didn’t have practice.

Why do you know That? Sounds like a stalker to me...said a voice that strangely sounded like Yahaba.

There was the soft sound of a guitar came from the room and Shirabu opened the door a little bit.

The copper haired teen smiled a bit as he recognized the song.

Lemon boy by Cavetown.

It was one of his favorites.

Shirabu watched his senpai for some time.

He was fascinating.

So in peace, so quite yet loud, so mesmerizing.

The sun hit his face just right as a bit of dust flew through the air and oh god-

If Shirabu wasn’t in love before he sure as hell was now.

The older of the two looked up as he played the last note.

“Oh- Shirabu!“ „Uh yeah um hi.“

Oh god this is so awkward-

„I wanted to talk...“

„Ah yes right.“ Semi put down the guitar and patted the place next to him on the bench for him to sit down.

„So about the kiss...“ „Yeah about that...I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.“

„Huh? Uncomfortable?“

“Yeah you know I did kiss you without your permission and everything-“ Semi‘s apology was interrupted by Shirabu laughing.

“What? Uncomfortable? Please I wanted to talk because I wanted to tell you I liked you!“

“Wait- WHAT??“

“Wow you’re stupid.“

Semi looked very confused, like a child you just explained something very complicated to.

The younger of the two looked on the ground with a smile on his face.

“I like you Semi Eita. You and your amazing voice and your stupid head.“

„Wait I thought...? Don’t you...have a crush on the setter guy from Seijoh?“

“What? Me? Liking Oikawa? How low do you think of me!“ „What no! I meant the Yahaba guy!“

The shorter stared at his senpai for a good minute in absolute confusion until he slowly started to laugh.

“You? You thought I? Liked 'Haba? Really?“ „You don’t?“

„Hahahaha! No! You stupid fucking dumbass!“ „Hey!“

Shirabu just kept on laughing and laughing until he looked up.

„Semi...how many times do I have to tell you I like you. Do I have to get more into it? I want to kiss your lips until they fall off, I want to cuddle you and hold your hand, I want to wake up with you, I want to do shitty cliché dates and couple things with you. I want to be with you!“

Semi‘s perplexed expression slowly started to turn into one of realization.

“Wait...holy shit you like me?!“ „Yes!“ „Oh..OH UHM I LIKE YOU TOO!“

“I hope so! I mean I did just sit here and tell you just how much of a sap I am for you!“

It went silent for a few minutes. They just sat in comfortable silence, watching the dust dancing in the sun, smiling because they know of the others feelings now.

“Uhm Shirabu?“ „Mmh?“ „Would you kiss me again?“

Semi turned his head just at the right moment to see a blushy Shirabu turning away.

“....sure.“

And so they did.

They kissed again.

And it was amazing.

Everything just felt so right.

It wasn’t perfect but so were they so it was just right for them.

some years later

“Hey idiot, look at me.“ „Don't call me that, Shigeru.“ „I’m just telling the truth but yeah.“

Kenjirou looked his best friend in the eyes and smiled.

He thought back to all the years of friendship, to all the bad times and all the good times.

He was always there and he loved him for it.

And now Kenjirou was here about to be married and really, there was no one he’d rather have as his first mate than Shigeru.

“You are going to be fine, idiot.“

The door opened and a small girl with blond hair in a beautiful blue dress walked in.

Hitoka gasped as she saw Kenjirou,: „You look amazing, Kenjirou!“

“Thanks Hitoka.“

Really how did he deserve these two?

Why are you getting sentimental now, dumbass?

Shut up I’m about to be married to the love of my life! I get to be at least a bit emotional!

Right.

Eita...

A smile stretched on his face.

Eita was the one that was going to stand at the end of that aisle, the one that will take his hand and the one that will kiss him and make him feel all of these feelings.

Kenjirou smiled as Wakatoshi took his arm.

„Ive been in love before, sure. You are different though...Why? Why is it so easy with you? Why can I just sit in silence with you and be happy? Why can you insult me and I insult you but we know it’s love? I guess it’s you. Because sure I’ve been in love before but...nothing has ever been as easy as loving you, even if it looks complicated. We are easy...and I work hard. I love you and I don’t know how or why but you love me and that is exactly what I need.“

Kenjirou looked up from the paper he had written his vows onto only to find Eita trying to wipe away tears.

Oh god I love him.

“You’re like a rainbow. Beautiful. Powerful. Red like the blood running faster through my veins when you say my name. Orange like the sunrise which I watch as we talk. Yellow like the sun you shine brighter than. Green like the grass under my feet in happy memories I share with you. Blue like the sky I look up to and smile thinking you see the same one as me. Purple like the beautiful flowers I want to give you everyday. You are like the rainbow in so many ways and I’m just a admirer lucky enough to see you.“

Kenjirou wasn’t a man to cry often but this was what made him completely break.

Oh what did he do to deserve him?

Their matching wedding rings glistened in the sun as the people applauded and they kissed knowing they were able to hold the person in their arms that hey loved the most.

Kenjirou loved his husband is much....

“When Eita and I met for the first time „officially“ I was panicking because I had just existentially confessed to Ken.“

Some people chuckled and Kentarou just rolled his eyes at his husband.

“Eita also thought our lovely Kenjirou over here had a crush on me!“

Eita tried hiding his face as everyone started laughing.

“I mean why wouldn’t he? I’m a snack! Anyway. Like a day or so later I got a panicked video call from my dear best friend telling me Eita had kissed him.“

Both of the men were now red in the face at their teenage selfs.

“I guess what I was trying to say! These two are dumbasses! Stupid idiots that don’t Talk about their feelings!“ Shigeru‘s eyes softened as he looked at his best friend and his husband. „They Are idiots it I love them. And I know they love each other!“

“Also I know I’ve said this before but- dear Eita! If you break my best friends heart I’ll break your bones!“

Everyone chuckled besides Kenjirou, Eita, Kentarou and Hitoka because they knew exactly just how serious Shigeru was about that.

Kenjirou looked to the side to see his husband looking back at him and he held out his hand.

They held hands loving being near eachother and being in love as their friends talked about the crazy story’s about the two of them.

Yeah Eita was a dumbass but he was Kenjirou’s dumbass and he wouldn’t trade him for anything in this world.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #semishira #semi eita #shirabu kenjirou #yahaba shigeru #semi x shirabu #my fanfiction

[ravireyes]

ravi’s instagram — the 2020 birthdays, part iv. — marcus reyes

my husband turns 31 today.

marcus reyes, you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. i'm sorry that i can't stop saying the word husband every chance i get. i reckon i'm 3 years away from saying "hubby" unironically and i'm sorry about that too.

i woke up feeling sensitive, i guess we can blame scorpio season for that (cursed). not bad sensitive, though, good sensitive. don't worry (i know you will). and it got me thinking of the first time i cried in front of you. i'm not a big crier, we both know that, i think i can count on my hands the times i've ever sobbed in my life. 

it was probably some time in early 2017, we had a date night, still freshly-announced official partners, mere months into this brand new thing. we went out to the theatre, because i asked you to take me. mind you, i have never liked musicals in my life. not one. and yet, the idea of having an excuse to dress up and be taken out like that just thrilled me. it was the glitz and glam of it all, and the idea of being seen with you, i guess. i told you i never needed a ring or any kind of proof of our love, but i'm not going to deny i enjoy parading around with your hand on my back.

well, we went for phantom of the opera, which in hindsight is a bold choice for two people who couldn't care less about theatre. i don't think i even understood the story for the first hour of it, but then! then this number comes up, the song is called "all i ask of you". christine and raoul are declaring their love for each other on a rooftop, beautifully orchestrated music starts to swell.

god, i certainly did not care for the play before, but suddenly i was paying a little too much attention. "let me be your freedom," he sings, and that was the first punch to the gut. "say you need me with you, now and always," she sings back. "say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime," he asks, and she asks him the same on the next verse. i was weeping. which was honestly pretty embarrassing for a date so early into the relationship, and for someone who claimed to be such a non-crier.

i'll spare everyone from quoting the entirety of the lyrics here, you can give it a listen later. to summarise, it's about this couple coming together, and how all they ask of each other is love. to be loved. raoul waxes poetical about keeping her safe, christine goes on about her fears and her woes, they both offer the other everything, and they don't ask for much in return. "love me, that's all i ask of you". the song builds, and builds, and peaks in this explosive moment where they belt in unison "anywhere you go, let me go too -- love me, that's all i ask of you". and the song fades out with them, mellow and soft.

god, i cried a fair bit, quietly. my heart hammering away in my chest, tears gathering in my eyelashes. but see, it was confusing, this cry felt different from anything i could compare it to. again, not a big crier, but i had cried watching romance once before; when i was a lonely teenager living in a shitty flat in a corner of the city, i bawled my eyes out watching pretty woman. and back then, it was just that, being a lonely kid. wanting love, yearning for something i could never quite get my hands on, feeling like i wasn't made for it. this cry wasn't like that. because i had you.

you leaned closer and whispered to ask if i was okay. i sniffled, and wiped my tears, and stubborn as ever i said i was just coming down with a cold. you were sweet enough to not call me out on a blatant lie, but you squeezed my hand really tight and didn't let go for the rest of the night.

i cried because i finally got it. i finally had what every movie, every song, every play was written about. i cried because you, with your warm heart and your hands that feel like something sacred, you loved me. and you taught me how to love. i know you did, because i've never felt like this for anyone before.

so much of me, i owe to you. i think you really put me back together, when we first met -- that's what you always do, you put people back together. you bear the weight of the skies on your shoulders, and you still have time to hold all of us in your arms, too. a knight, a protector, you wield a sword but you never let the weight of the armour crush you, because you're good like that. you're strong, and tender. you're patient. you're my home, my safe haven, my lighthouse. i thank the stars every night for whatever led me to you. i think i'd be doomed to a life of agony if we'd never met -- quite frankly, dear, i don't like to imagine a world in which i can't reach for your hand over every table, across every bed, in the middle of any play.

you are the best person i've ever met. you are the love of my life, my better half, my entire heart. i am so proud, and so grateful, and so happy to be your spouse. happy, happy, happy, you just make me so happy and i can't shut up about it. i'm happy you took another trip around the sun, and that you chose to do it by my side. i can't thank you enough, for loving me. and for being you. i love every corner, every crevice, every line of you.

anywhere you go, let me go too. please?

i've written enough now, i need to go back to putting together your surprise breakfast in bed. thank you for sleeping in, for once (you're welcome for actually tiring you out last night to make this a possibility). i hope you love your presents. and me. i hope you always love me. that's all i ask, and all i need.

i love you, always.

happy bday, @itsmarcusreyes !

#( with : marcus ) #edit ;; #musings ;; #the piece de resistance #this series was Fun #also need everyone to know i wrote this in my head while i was driving in the highway #couldnt stop to write it down but i was so scared i'd forget it #so when i finally got home i just sat in the driveway and typed FURIOUSLY into my notes #my mom walked out to greet me and saw me just sitting there typing she was so confused #id like to thank andrew lloyd webber for sponsoring this post #and sorry for double posting everyone i ruined my own schedule #but it felt appropriate to post marcus' today too #4/4 babeyyy thank u everyone i am now retired forever

[draco-and-tom]

Draco- I thought I was so Deserving

Summary- You and Draco were dating, till he died in the battle of hogwarts. It takes you weeks to go and look through his old stuff, and when you do you find several old letters addressed to you, but never owled. You decide to open it and find something that makes you cry.

☆WARNINGS: veryyyyyyy sad, death., depression, lots of crying, (i cried while writing this so you better like it lol)

It had been weeks since you even looked at the manor, which was basically left to you after draco died, due to the fact that his family fled for no apparent reason. You’ve tried to come back…. Really. It’s just the fact that every time you do try you start to cry. Just looking at the house floods your mind with memories of what it was like to be wrapped in his arms. You miss the feeling of his affection. Draco was never big on showing how much he actually loved you in public, sure he would wrap his arm around you if another boy was staring, or give them a death stare when they would check you out, but NEVER did he once whisper in your ear how much he loved you, the way you laughed, the way you cried, the way you would look at him and he knew you loved him just as much as he did you in public. The way he felt about you was personal, not everyone needed to know just how crazy he was about you. He used to tell you how he used to think so highly of himself till he met you. He would say “I always thought I was so deserving till I met someone who took my breath away and made everything okay for everyone.” Everytime you two were alone together he poured his heart into his words and you knew it was true. Draco’s eyes have always shown his true emotion. Happiness, sadness, love……. They showed you everyone. Everytime he would tell you those things you couldn’t form words, and when you could it was always just an “I love you”. Your feelings for him were so much more than an I love you. That’s the thing you regret the most, not telling him how on more than one occasion you cried at how you loved him so much it almost hurt, at the thought of losing him, how it broke your heart just to see him sad. You longed to tell him that you fucked up in every way possible by not telling him everything you loved about him -inside and out- because you knew how often he doubted himself, by not showering him with kisses every time you saw him, by not kissing him that day like it was the last one you’d ever get, because it was. But most of all you fucked up by trying to help the others and leaving him there to fight for himself.You didn’ t get a chance to comfort him or kiss him, or even tell him how much you cared. You didn’t know trying to help one person would risk two people's lives. Because with every day that passes you realize that Draco was your life. He was your happiness, your grief, your confusion. He was what made you who you are, who you were. 

You sob in your car as your mind is flooded with memories of the time you spent together. It hurts to see them, but it hurts worse to ignore them...if only he could be with you, give you one last chance.

You open your car door after you managed to keep yourself from crying. You made your way up the steps of the house and turned the doorknob with a shaky hand. Once you open your lip quivers. You looked at the stairs that led up to his room, making your eyes water. When you both were alone together at the house he seemed so much more care free. He would chase you all the way down the stairs, it was one of your favorite recurring things he did. You were positive there were other rooms up there but they weren't important to you, especially not right now. You blink back your tears as well as you can. You got to the first floor and felt something underneath your shoe. You lift your foot and a pained sound comes from your mouth as you see his ring… just sitting there. Your knees buckled and you sobbed into your hands. After a few minutes you got up, putting his ring on your middle finger since his hands were bigger than yours, and there was no way in hell you were ever losing that ring. Your face was tear stained and flushed. You were positive you looked like a wreck, you know that if Draco saw you he would wonder what the hell happened. He always said you were the most beautiful and happy person he’d ever met. But again, he was your happiness and now that's gone. God you were crazy for him, and how you feel is the proof. You snap out of your thoughts as you walk down the hall to his bedroom. A chill runs down your spine as you place your hand on the door knob. It was always slightly cold in the manor, but you knew it wasn’t that. You were scared to go in. You felt almost as if you touching anything or even stepping a foot in there was going to mess something up, change how he left it. You block your thoughts out as you open the door anyways, the metal on your finger tapping against the cold door knob. You look in and notice everything is still how he liked it, clean and kept. The only difference was that there was a black box sitting on his bed and an envelope laying beside it. Draco’s room had dark brown wooden floors and emerald green walls. On his walls were Quidditch pictures, a light in the shape of a snake, and….pictures of him and you together. You and Draco had been friends since you were 10, so the pictures went farther back than your relationship. There was a picture of him carrying you bridle style, his face buried in your neck as his laughed, making you smile. You watched that picture replay over and over again, just to see him in motion. You sadly smile as you watch him laugh and put his face into the crook of your neck, you kissing his head after he does so softly. A slow tear drips down your cheek as the flash of the camera that took the photo goes off, before you wipe it away quickly. You pick up the photo and place a small kiss onto it, letting a couple more tears escape from your eyes. You grabbed the picture and took it with you over to the bed, and sat down. You wiped your face with the sleeve of your quidditch sweater, hating the stickiness that the now drying tears had made. You looked at the envelope laying on the bed. The ivory color envelope, as well as the box lay against the green, silky sheets that Draco had left on his bed. He told you the reason he liked silk sheets so much was that when he was little he would get really hot in the summer and laying in them would give his body a relieving chill, the sheets were just associated with good memories and comfort especially after the two of you became each other's friends.

 You and Draco had sleepovers, both of you laying under those sheets. You remembered that the first sleepover happened when you were both at the manor during yalls first week at hogwarts. After eating dinner with him, and taking showers you both laid down in his silk sheets that always felt so cool and relaxing. You didn’t notice anything was wrong until you look over at the 11 year old and see him lying stiffly under the blanket and staring at the ceiling. You furrowed your eyebrows and say “something wrong malfoy?” He shakes his head and after a moment of thought says “it's just….w-is it not weird to you that you're going to sleep in here with me?” you tilt your head and ask “Is it weird to you Malfoy?” when he shakes his head “Then why would it be weird to me?”. Draco bites his lip and shrugs “dunno… just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me..”. As soon as he said that you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his body, as if that wasn’t enough to freak him out you slung your leg over his waist as well. You snuggled into Draco’s tense body. “Do I look uncomfy Malfoy?” you asked after you rested your face in the crook of his neck. You could feel the first year release tension in his body and smiled as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you as close to him as possible. Draco felt your smile on his neck and laughed. “Like this do you?” you hummed and said “Honestly dont think ive had anything more enjoyable Malfoy”. You nuzzled closer to his embrace before you heard him say “hey sunshine”as he peppers kisses on you, making your cheeks flush even more, he had never called you that before “could you call me Draco instead? You’ve made me realize that there is a 1% worthy enough to have my name come from their mouth” you chuckled and nodded “I better be worthy Draco”. 

Once you notice the same words repeating in your ear you stop staring at the envelope and decide to read who it's for. 

                                                                           Sunshine ♡ 

You take a deep breath and open the envelope, careful not to cause any damage to something so dear to you. Once you open it the smell of parchment immediately floods your nose. You pull out the paper and unfold it. The parchment was clearly high quality, it seems as though he put a lot of thought into the letter. You do your best to smooth the creases of the paper as you tiredly lay back on the bed and begin to read:

Dear Y/N, You have no idea how many times i've tried to write a letter about all of this, There is a whole box full somewhere, just look. I know I don't seem like the type (and I know you already know this but) God sunshine, you have no idea how much you mean to me. It's just the fact that sometimes i get shy… but I feel like I don't tell you stuff like this often enough. I love your smile… it likes up any room. I know that you don't think I am, but I am extremely jealous of anyone who so much resembles the way I look at you, that loving look. I know I shouldn't be. I mean bloody hell Y/N I'm the one who gets to wrap you in my arms and pepper you with kisses. I just can't help the thought of you ever leaving me, especially if it’s to be with one of those prats. I love you so much Y/N. More than you could ever know. Although all of this rubbish with The Dark Lord is happening you’ve managed to make it actually bearable. God I was so relieved when you believed me when I told you that I didn’t want to. I'm so glad you let me cry into your shoulder that night, I don't do it often but I did need it. You don't know that i could tell, but I knew that you were crying with me… you shake when you cry, I could feel your lip quivering against my cheek as you kissed me and assured me that it was all going to be okay, I believe you Sunshine, I promise i do, You will always be what keeps me going. You're the only person that's even thought about looking through all my smirks and teasing… you're the only one that was able to tell I was broken and the only one to care. You're the one thing about my shit show of a life, but I have one question. How do you love me as much as you do? I believe you do, you can't lie when you look at me like that. Your whole expression softens when you say those three words and look into my eyes. How do you love me when you could have someone that isnt this much of a fucking wreak? I wish you knew how much i care, 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tell me if you want me to make this a series or a prequel.

#Draco #Draco Malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfiction #sad #angst #angst fanfic #story #Harry Potter #hogwarts #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter masterlist

[andyet-here-we-are]

I Would Get Into Millions of Accidents Just to See You, Chapter 1

For @wolfgeralt as a little ‘thank you’ for his stunning art -which I really adore, you can see it here: (x)

and for @hecky-heckicravedeath (x) who gave me inspiration for this fanfiction. Also Thanks @3tothe1 for being my beta. (You’re such a sweetheart, and I love you so much)

Anyway,  I hope you like it, my dear Witchlings! 💛

I present you: NURSE GERALT!  

Chapter 1 Word Count: 2461

ao3: (x) 

Chapter 2 Tumblr link: (x) Chapter 3 Tumblr link: (x) Chapter 4 Tumblr Link: (x)

When Geralt arrives for his shift, still feeling exhausted from yesterday, he has no idea what’s waiting for him at the hospital. His days are never too ordinary because you never know what you’ll come across.

That’s a part of being a nurse.

But he could never think that one of the not-so-famous musicians, his daughter, Ciri adores, was going to have a terrible traffic accident—which somehow isn’t on the news—and end up in the hospital he works at.

He already knows his name since Ciri just can’t stop talking about how nice he is and how he sounds like an angel. To the point where sometimes Geralt wants to say “Okay he is wonderful, so kind and lovely and you really love him, I get it. Can you please just keep eating your pasta? Yes Ciri, yes, I know that pasta is his favorite food, you say that every time we’re having pasta. ”

Geralt isn’t there for his intake, apparently, the accident happened last night, and the musician was badly injured.

Jaskier has a ruptured spleen that caused internal hemorrhaging, which the doctors were able to repair. He also has a mild concussion, a couple of broken ribs, along with some cuts and a broken leg which he is probably going to need another surgery for.

Since the other nurse who was responsible for Jaskier last night,  is having some family issues and has to take his annual leave, Jaskier is in Geralt’s care now, they let Geralt know.

When Geralt is home, Ciri starts talking about how Jaskier hadn’t posted anything in two days, and how worried she is since Jaskier had promised them a new song, “He never breaks his promises,” she says.

Geralt thinks that keeping the fact that the young man was in a traffic accident to himself is a better idea.

***

Three days later, when Geralt cracks open the door to Jaskier’s room, the man still sounds asleep, his chest rising and falling with every slow breath he takes as the morphine keeps dripping into his system. It’s enough to keep him subdued, if not completely pain-free.

He checks his IV, and takes a few notes onto his clipboard, right before the musician comes to, his eyelids fluttering.

And damn if he hasn’t got the most breathtaking eyes he has ever seen in his whole life. Even when they lack the spark Geralt is sure they normally hold in them.

Jaskier is confused, of course. So he tells him about what has happened and clears his throat before speaking.

“Mr. Pankratz, I need to take your vitals and then give you some medicines for the pain, may I have your arm?”

“Hell you can, might as well take my poor heart that seems to be beating for—”  Jaskier flirts and coughs before he has the chance to finish, his voice is low and hoarse from lack of use.

Geralt makes no comments, and fills a cup of water for him instead, helping him to drink it. He is surprised by the musician’s flattering words, and he is also glad that he is good at keeping a neutral expression on his face.  

“…you.” He finishes. “Well, I would normally use the ‘am I dead and in Heaven?’ cliché, but, see,” Jaskier keeps talking after sipping some water “I’m in too much pain to think that I’m in heaven. You sure look like a sexy angel or something though.  Ohoho, are you gonna give me a sponge bath, too? Just wondering. If so, I’m totally down for it. Just so you know.”

Geralt can’t help but snort at that a bit, “Do you always talk that much?”

“Maybe it’s you who doesn’t talk enough, you ever considered that?” Jaskier teases, and then suddenly his whole playful expression changes like he remembered that he had left his cat on the stone, and he frowns to himself, “Oh God, three days you said? Shitshitshit,” he drops his head back onto his pillows in a way too dramatic manner, covering his eyes with one hand “I had promised them a new song,” the nurse hears him mumbling “I am such an idiot.”

Jaskier truly seems so disappointed in himself that Geralt feels the need of comforting him. The man had a traffic accident, for crying out loud!

And yet, he is concerned for his fans because he couldn’t keep his promise, rather than being worried for himself.

Not even an hour has passed since he had the chance to talk to the man, but he already can see why Ciri likes this guy that much.

“It’s not your fault that some idiot decided that running a red light and colliding with your car was a good idea,” Geralt says “don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Jaskier still seems disappointed, but he mumbles a silent 'thank you’ before he says “ you may be right, but I promised them.”

***

Days go like this: Jaskier keeps flirting with him every time Geralt steps into his room to check on him and give him his medicines. Geralt never flirts back because of obvious reasons, but he never tells him to stop either, even though he does judge him with his eyes now and then.

The moments Geralt can spend with the man is the most he feels happy at work.

He can’t even deny that at this point.

Ciri keeps asking him why he looks happier nowadays, and why he suddenly became clumsy all of a sudden because he loses his focus easily.

“Who is the reason behind your smile? I gotta know! C’mon, it’s not fair! Don’t leave me hanging like this!”  She insists, being the stubborn girl she is, and after a second she grins like cheshire cat “You’ve finally met someone special?”

“…I might have, pumpkin”  is his answer. “I might have.”

***

He doesn’t know why, but Geralt doesn’t like Thursdays. Well, it’s probably because everything bad has ever happened to him seemed to happen on Thursdays, usually.

And sadly, this Thursday is no exception.

Hank, a seventy years old man who has been here for more than a month, and who has been very ill passes away. Who he had become really close with and really cared about.

Jaskier catches his change of mood when he goes to check on him and simply says, “Talk to me. I mean, you don’t have to. But you look like you could use a friend. And I’m so bored of watching television anyway.”

So Geralt talks to him.

He talks about Hank, about how wise he was. He talks about how he has been working here for years but how it still affects him so much when someone passes away. How he doesn’t suppose to feel a connection with his patients, how terrible of a nurse that makes him.

“That makes you human, not a terrible nurse.” Jaskier assures him, his voice as gentle as always. “Believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Geralt isn’t sure when Jaskier’s hand finds his hand as they talk, and when his dainty looking, long fingers link with his; but the intimate gesture feels so natural, so right that he just lets him.

***

Jaskier has surgery for his right leg the next day, and it’s not the first time that Geralt hears his patients saying the most ridiculous things after their surgery, thanks to the sedation.

But oh boy, if Jaskier doesn’t take it to a whole new level.

“Maaarry meee, my dear nurse!” the musician yells, “we could make the most adorable babies together! One of them would have my voice, one of them would have your weirdly sexy brooding or something. One of them would have my…. my tongue?  Or eyes? Cheeks! Yes, cheeks. And the other would have your lips while the other would have your… DIMPLE! I love that cute dimple you have on your jaw! ”

Geralt laughs, because how can he not?

“That’s biologically impossible.” the nurse says. “Also how many kids you have in mind? That was awfully a lot.”

“Hmm, let’s see. Marie, Duchess,” Jaskier starts to count with his fingers, and he looks so damn adorable that Geralt finds it extremely hard to not just reach out and ruffle his hair. “Thomas O'Malley, Toulouse, and Berlioz. So, six!”

“It’s five, actually,” Geralt tilts his head to the side slightly and corrects him with a fond, little smile. “So… you’re planning to name your kids after The Aristocats?”

“Our kids, mind you. And I’m not straight, love. You can’t expect me to do the math, I don’t make the rules.”

Love.

He just called Geralt ‘love’

“He probably calls ‘love’ everyone,” the nurse reminds himself and swallows, not being able to focus on what Jaskier says for a minute or so. “You’re no special.”

But the way Jaskier utters that one word, makes him feel like he is lying to himself.

When he can finally focus on what he is saying,  Jaskier is still talking about the same topic.

“…and you should be grateful that I’m not planning to name them after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! If we’re gonna have more than six, I’m totally doing that though.”

“Why Mr. Pankratz, we’re not even married yet. But I already don’t have a say in anything, it seems.” Geralt can’t help but tease with the young man in return.

Jaskier waves one hand weakly: “Don’t take this as my marriage proposal though, I’m better than that. If I were to propose to you I would do that in the most wonderful way. Roses, candles, and everything. Even fireworks.”

Geralt remains silent, so Jaskier talks again: “And ya know, joking aside, actually we couldn’t name them unless we adopted them when they were babies.”

“Why do you want so many kids?” the nurse wonders, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, growing up in a foster care system will do that to you,” Jaskier lets out a loud and somehow cute yawn.

Geralt knows that he wasn’t even supposed to ask that, and he shouldn’t even listen to Jaskier rambling about his life, which he won’t even remember after the sedative effect wears off.

But he can’t suppress his need of knowing more about him.

He just can’t.

“Wanna adopt as many kids as I can, so I can provide ’em a life filled full of love and everything they deserve. All the beautiful things in the universe. All the things I couldn’t have when I was a kid.” Jaskier admits, and his words make Geralt’s heart clench in his chest.

At that moment, Geralt is sure that he is falling so hard for the musician.

Maybe he already did.

“Don’t think that I’m not gonna name our dogs after them though. Or cats.” Jaskier mumbles. He looks like he is just two seconds away from falling into a deep sleep.

Right when he moves to leave, Jaskier grabs his hand as he softly, sweetly whispers, “Geralt, don’t leave me.” And he sounds so vulnerable, so weak that the nurse’s heart skips a beat in his chest.

Geralt would love to say that he doesn’t leave all night, but he has other patients he needs to check on, so he leaves.

But not before staying for five minutes as he holds the musician’s hand, and watches him fall asleep. Nobody needs to know, right?

***

The next day, Jaskier doesn’t remember most of the things he had said last night, but somehow he remembers that Geralt had stayed for a while.

That day, feeling guilty about yesterday, Geralt talks about his life.

“It’s only fair,” he thinks.

He talks about Ciri, and he lets the musician know how crazy his daughter is about him. That makes Jaskier smile at him warmly, but then again, his smile is always like this.

Warmer than the sun on a hot summer day.

Blushing, Jaskier hesitantly says that he would love to meet her. His big, baby blue eyes seem to be searching for something in Geralt’s eyes.

And Geralt understands that he finds whatever he was searching for when Geralt nods and says: “We would love that, too.”

***

“Look! Jaskier finally posted something!” Ciri says one morning while they are having breakfast, well, more like Ciri is having breakfast, and Geralt is just busy with his coffee since he is in a hurry.

“Hmm?”

“Wait, was this an ‘I’m Actually Curious About What You Have To Say’ type of ‘hmm’? Because it definitely didn’t sound like your usual ‘I Don’t Care’ type of ‘hmm’. Nice! That might be the first time you actually seem curious about what I have to say about him.” Ciri smiles, and lets out a sad, little “Oh.” After reading whatever Jaskier had posted.

“He says that he is having some minor health issues…”

Geralt huffs at that.

‘Minor health issues’

If what he had gone through is “minor” to Jaskier, Geralt doesn’t even want to imagine what “major health issues”  mean in his dictionary.

But he is sure that the only reason why the musician says “minor” is because he doesn’t want to worry his fans.

“‘I am in good hands though—I mean it, really really good hands—so no need to worry. Love you all, xoxo’ Hmm… I hope it’s nothing serious.”

The nurse looks at his daughter’s phone screen and the excessive amount of winking face emojis after ‘really really good hands’ part catches his attention.

He tries to hide his smile behind his black coffee mug.

And luckily, he succeeds.

***

A few days later, it’s time for Jaskier to be discharged from the hospital. And Geralt feels a bit sad about it, to be honest. Because he is already used to having the young man around.

To his never-ending flirting and jokes, to his smile, to his everything.

But the good thing is, that means that he will be no longer his patient.

Jaskier gives him his number before he leaves, and tells Geralt to call him whenever he is free.

“I’m totally getting into another accident and make sure they bring me here if you don’t call, Mr. Handsome Nurse,” the musician jokes in a low voice.

“We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Geralt smiles. “You can be sure that I’ll call, Jaskier. And we can even have some pasta maybe.”

It’s the first time that Geralt calls him by his first name, and the nurse can see how the other man’s smile widens when he does that, eyes sparkling.

“Wow. Now I have no doubt about how much Ciri talks about me,“ scratching the back of his head, Jaskier chuckles shyly, and it’s music to his ears. Ciri is right. He does sound like an angel.

"Till we meet again, Geralt. Till we meet again.”

#the witcher #jaskier #geraskier #jaskier x geralt #dandelion #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt z rivii #the witcher fanfiction #nurse geralt au #I Would Get Into Millions Of Accidents Just To See You #my writing

[kota-bee]

moony

a/n: hey look a new series because i got overhwhelmed by in the dark. this will be a self indulgent story so its ok if you dont like it. im trying a new writing style so let me know if its any good. this isnt really edited so read at your own risk. shout out to anyone who can figure out which part of this chapter i inserted after it was done.

chapter 1/? word count: 1628

warnings: none i think. a weeny bit of blood.

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towering trees and bright flowers are all i can see for miles, it was the most beautiful thing ever. mother held my hand, swinging it as we walked along the dimly lit dirt path. "happy birthday my love! how does it feel to be 6 hm?" mothers words are soft and full of love as she looks down at me fondly. "not much differnt, i think im taller maybe?" i screw my face up trying to think if i felt taller or not, i *felt* taller. mother laughed heartly as she looked around us. "youre almost past my hip now! youve definitely gotten taller." mother cooed still looking happily at me. i smiled, i *am* almost past her hip now! i swung her hand even more as we contiuned on our walk. "dad doesnt like to go on these walks does he?" i questioned, looking up at mother. "he doesnt like to get his fancy shoes dirty, Alexander has always been that way" she reasured me softly. the bush in front of us rustled, mother excitedly pulled me down to crouch so we didnt scare the critter moving towards us. i wiggled excitedly, hoping it would be a bunny. "stay still. maybe its a deer" mother whispers into my ear. the rustling get louder before a dirty tired looking man stumbles out. mother pulled me up harshly and hid me behind her. i tried to peek out at the man but she shoved me behind her again. i suddenly remebered what day it was, the full moon. i clutched to mothers shirt as she put a hand on my shoulder.

"can i help you sir? you look ill" mothers voice is shakey but firm. "now that you ask... i do need help"

im on my back on the floor, its uncomfortable and bumpy. my hands are wet and warm, it feels gross and sticky.i raise my hands to my face, theyre red? i turn my head to see if mother knows whats happening and... the man is on top of her, his teeth digging into her neck. shes screaming, crying, "m-mom?"

"mom?" i whisper but im not in that forest anymore, im on my bed in my room. i look around my room, at the posters and drawings on my wall that i made myself, at my trunk and bag near my door. it takes me a second to register the knocking at my door. "andi we need to go" a sandy haired man says softly as he pushes through my door. its just remus, im safe. i push myself up to sit on the edge of my bed and run my hand through my messy curls. "are you alright sweetheart?" remus- dad, asks me softly. "nightmare" i mumbled sleepily. he sighs and sits down next to me. he rubs circles against my back. "its always worse after the full moon, give yourself some patient love" dad said softly, he knew i wouldnt actually give myself time to bounce back. it was frustrating to admit i needed time to heal, i didnt like admitting i was differnt. dad sighed and kissed my forehead gently "get dressed, you can eat at the weasleys, molly will have plenty of food for you"

i pull my t-shirt and worn jeans on and try desperatley to make my hair less of a mess. i dragged my trunk downstairs towards dad who was waiting patiently at the door. "ready? molly will have some ointments for you when you get there."

"i double checked this time" i chuckle, more than once ive forgotten something important, my school supplies werent exactly cheap so that wasnt exaclty ideal. dad chuckled and looped his arm through mine and, with a loud pop, we landed at the burrow. my second home! i live here as often as i do at dads house. it was the most brilliant house ive ever been too.

the door flew open and two lanky twins came flying towards me. fred and george collided with me, hugging me tightly. i giggled squeezing them tightly. Remus put his hand on my shoulder “I’ll see you at the train station, be safe” and with a pop he was gone.

“He never comes inside” a sweet voice came from the doorway. A plump woman was looking fondly at the three teens. She opened her arms wide, beckoning me forward. i smiled and wrapped my arms around molly. “Hello dear” she cooed into my hair. Molly pulled back and looked me over, cupping my face and turned it side to side, examining the new cuts and bruises i donned. She hummed

“Ginny! Ron! Come here!” Molly shouted as she pulled me inside, the twins following.

“She’s going to coddle you” Fred whispered into my ear with a little chuckle. i rolled my eyes as i followed molly into the kitchen where Ron and Ginny had just rushed in.

“Andi!” Ginny bounded towards me wrapping her arms around me and hugged me like it had been years since the last time she had seen me. Ginny had always looked up to me like an older sister ever since she could speak. i hoisted Ginny up and into my arms spinning her around. god i loved the weasleys, every one of them, including percy.

“I’m a little offended you didn’t do that for us” George huffed feigning hurt.

“Yeah come on andi, I thought we were your favourite” Fred added, mimicking his twin.

“Now when did I say that boys” i teased as i plopped Ginny back on the floor. The twins rolled their eyes before throwing their arms over my shoulders. the twins did this to me so often, we were always joined at the hip in some way.

“I dunno I just have a sneaking suspicion that you like us” the boys said in unison. i snickered and gave Ron a happy “hello”

“Now now boys don’t be too rough on her” molly scolded shooing the twins off of me. i sighed, Molly always had a tendency to treat me like i was fragile. “Oh come on mum it’s not like we’re throwing her around” Fred whined. “We could if you wanted” George whispered. The trio had learned early on that the best way to annoy the younger groups was to mock flirt with each other. After awhile it became an inside joke that the three found hilarious. Much to everyone’s dismay.

“Come on andi let me clean you up” Molly’s words are sweet but insistent. i know better than to argue with molly over this stuff. Molly is a excellent healer and it would be stupid to deny her help. i looked over at the twins who are grinning ear to ear, they did warn me i suppose. i rolled my eyes once more before following molly to the living room. i sit down on the sofa the twins and i often crowd. It was far too small for three lanky teens. Molly began rustling in a little bag near a bookshelf. She was humming a song and shaking to a tune only she could hear. Ah ha! Molly exclaimed as she pulled out a little jar full of white paste.

“This will help it heal a little faster, it won’t keep it from scarring unfortunately” molly starts excitedly before mumbling off the last part. i knew this, magic was wonderful but it couldn’t prevent scarring in most situations. i had more scars than i cared to count. Molly cupped my face as she smeared the paste over my wounds, i winced slightly. no matter if it had numbing ingriedents or not, this part always hurt

“I know it hurts, just breathe” molly humed. “Do you have anymore?” Molly questions looking me over. “You know the answer to that question” i chuckled dryly as i stood pulling my shirt up with me. Revealing a bandage stretching across my stomach.

Molly sighed, she hated seeing her kids hurt, not that Andi was her kid but it certainly felt like it. Molly peeled the bandage off slowly trying desperately to keep it from hurting too much.

i shuddered biting back tears as i felt the bandage pull healed skin with it.

The twins were watching from the doorway as molly tended to Andi. They knew what Andi looked like after full moons but they never got used to the gashes and bruises she dawned afterwards. Fred turned away, he felt sick to his stomach, he loved Andi, he wished he could take this from her. She didn’t deserve it.

Molly patched andi's stomach up once more and pulled her shirt down over it.

“Put this on your face twice a day and I’ll help you with your back until you go to school then then ask one of your friends to help” molly instructed waving her finger at me to enunciate her words.

“Yes ma’am” i mock soluted, i knew how much that annoyed her. i turned towards the door way and gave George a lopsided grin and peeked past him at Fred who was leaning against a counter.

“Want to show me what your letters talked about?” i said my tone dripping with mischief. The twins faces lit up as they grabbed my hands and dragged me up the stairs, giggling like kids the whole way to their room.

“What are you three planning??” Molly shouted up the stairs. She knew those three were troublemakers at heart. They had been since they met when they were 7. Remus needed help with Andi after a rough full moon and the rest is history. The three of them managed to turn rons teddy bear into a spider once.

#harry potter headcanon #harry potter fandom #harry potter stories #the weasly twins #the weasleys #harry potter #fan fiction #harry potter fanfiction #fypage

[kkairosclerosis]

uncommon things i associate my deities with~

hi guys! im back from a quick hiatus! 

i recently moved to the city, but not too far from where i lived previously in the country. living in the city, however, is proving to be a bit more difficult then i had imagined, so ive been taking some weekends to go back home and ground myself again so i can feel more connected to my craft<3.

anyways, this morning, i was sitting on the porch of my parents farmhouse, looking out onto the sunset as my idiot dog ran laps around the frost-covered lawn, feeling more connected to my deities than i had in weeks. i decided, ‘hey, here a nice post idea. maybe ill talk abt the things i associate with my deities that others might not, and hopefully inspire them to as well!’ so, here it is! 

uncommon things i associate my deities with!

hermes——««

if this isnt your first time on my blog, you probably know: hermes is my patron. he has been for a while, even before i began to worship him. if you want to know more about why, check out this post. 

regardless, you can imagine that i hold very dear everything i associate with him.

in this case, it’s my dog. 

my dog is an...interesting border collie named oliver. i got into hellenic worship very shortly after getting him, and i have a very strong feeling he has a lot to do with it. 

i am thoroughly convinced my dog is a child of hermes. hes chaotic, but extremely smart. very, very fast, and spends hours running out in the yard. just running. nothing else. its even more intense when its windy, which, if you read the aforementioned post, you know that i associate the wind heavily with hermes. hermes is also the god of animal husbandry, and oliver is quite the farm animal. 

watching him run, i always get a strong sense of comfort. i know that the energy of hermes resides in him, its very clear. its almost as if his running brings the wind.  like hes running, and hermes says ‘hey, that looks fun! let me join!’ 

i, very regularly, ask for hermes protection of oliver. i do this because i know of the love hermes has for him. i can feel it. it makes me comfortable knowing hes safe while im not home with him. and i can tell it makes oliver feel safe as well.

aphrodite——««

aphrodite has always been dear to me, even before i started actually worshipping. i remember reading about her in the mythology books i frequented in the art room after i finished my projects, carrying them out to the field to just sit and read. she was an embodiment of beauty to me, and that has not changed since, so its natural that i associate her with one of the things i find most beautiful on this plane of existence: clouds.

when i was thinking of writing this post, i was sitting and looking at a cloudless sky. i was thinking: why is it that we most often consider a cloudless sky beautiful? is it because of the absence of ‘blemish?’ does a cloud signify a flaw? must all beautiful things be completely clear, or without mark? 

obviously, i thought this was ridiculous. clouds are so very dear to me. i mean, i have an entire album of photos on my phone of pictures of clouds i have taken. i have always been enamored. 

while i was pondering this, it hit me. beauty is unique. beauty is individual. thats exactly what aphrodite is about. these ‘marks’ in the sky are what make the sky beautiful to me. aphrodite is in these ‘blemishes’ because i find them beautiful. 

now, i dont mean to wrap this up in a corny way, but i encourage the people reading this to think this way about themselves. beauty is in your imperfections because they make you you. i have not seen one cloud that looks exactly like another i have seen, and thats exactly what makes them so beautiful to me. aphrodite loves all of you, and someone else does as well, so do not disrespect them by being mean to yourself. their idea of beauty is not misconstrued, so trust them. and if you dont think someone thinks your beautiful, know that i do<3.

apollo——««

apollo, to me, has always been sort of an enigma. i have a harder time interpreting his signs, especially recently, and i think that its particularly because of my recent falling out with my creative side. i have sort of abandoned my art, and it think its difficult for him to communicate with me through anything else.

one thing, however, i can feel him in is the sound of the birds in the morning. particularly, roosters.

as i mentioned before, my parents live on a farm. its natural to hear roosters first thing in the morning. some people find it annoying, but to me, its incredibly comforting. it means another morning has come. i’ve lived another day, and i have a whole new one to look forward to, until i hear the rooster the next morning. it means the sun is rising, and apollo rises with him. 

as a witch who particularly enjoys the sunrise, but has a hard time waking up to see it, the roosters serve as a sort of natural alarm clock. even if i do not physically get up to see the sunrise, i know it is happening, and i am awake for that first moment of dawn. it brings me comfort and a sense of small accomplishment, even on really difficult days.

and the days im in the city, and cant hear the roosters, its the morning songs of the birds in the part right next to my apartment building. this might be even more so, as apollo is the god of music. 

its a different type of comfort to wake up to the chill of the morning and hear the birds, knowing its a deity that loves me and wants to see me the next morning as well. i hope you, dearest reader, come to feel the same:).

asclepius——««

now, i haven’t talked about this much on this blog, but to me, asclepius has been such a pillar for me as of recent. with the pandemic and my own current health situation, i rely on him a lot for hope and support. i ask him to protect both me and my friends and family from illness or ailment, and in case of ailment, i ask him to facilitate a speedy recovery. thus far, he has never failed me, and i do not ever expect him to. i put my trust in him wholly. 

other than health, i find myself associating asclepius with cleanliness. while i see asclepius as the medic, i also see him as someone who is clean and organized. this is why i associate him with dewdrops.

now, bear with me in my explanation. morning dew, to me, feels clean. it feels almost pure, as it is one of the first forms of moisture a person can be met with during the day. 

picture it now. you wake up at sunrise, and venture out into your yard, the chill of the am just tickling at your face, cooling your nose to the touch. you take your first step off of the deck, and your bare feet sink into the grass, cold, and now wet from the dew. the feeling is shocking at first, as your feet get used to the new temperature, fresh out of the warm comfort of your blanket that sits invitingly on your bed inside. 

but the feeling is fresh. its grounding. its healing. 

that, to me, is how asclepius feels. 

sobek——««

i must be honest, sobek is the reason this post came to existence. i feel extremely strong about this one, particularly because i feel that sobek is under-appreciated and misunderstood as a god. i constantly encourage people to include sobek in their worship, as he, to me, has proven to be one of the most reliable gods i have ever worked with. i feel such a sense of comfort and love within him. i could sit in his energy for hours, days even. especially as a person who suffers from bouts of paranoia, his energy is one to learn to accept and become. 

for me, i see sobek in flowers. 

not many would see this, as sobek has this image of a tough, crocodile, protection god, which he is. but what a lot of people forget, is that sobek is also a god of fertility, particularly in harvest. in fact, sobek has done so much for my family’s farm. our garden is plentiful, and our harvests are more than we know what to do with. we end up making a lot of extra things with it, and giving it away to family friends and neighbors. i genuinely think that sobek creates abundance in our garden so he can give to our community. that is how loving i know him to be. 

however, what i specified was flowers. one of the most common offerings i give to sobek are roses. he seems to love them. sobek seems to protect that of which he loves, and roses are a symbol of love for me. i want to attempt to give him what he has given me. 

my family has a wildflower garden in front of our home. the morning i was sitting on the porch, i felt his presence, and i immediately looked to the flowers. delicate, yet extremely strong, and persevering. thats how i wish to be, and i can feel sobek in the encouragement of the flowers. 

i hope that didn’t come off too corny, although im pretty sure it did lol. i hope that this post was a good insight into my deities and how i understand them to be! again, disclaimer, not everyone experiences the gods in the same ways! some may agree with this post wholeheartedly, and some may have completely different experiences that make them disagree entirely! i am not one to gatekeep and define what the divine is, because the divine shows itself in different ways to different people. i hope you enjoyed this post, and have a wonderful day!

p.s. i love you and you’re worth it!

#hellenic polytheism #Hellenic witch #hellenic polythiest #hellenic worship #hellenic devotion #hellenism #pagan witch #pagan #paganblr #chaos witch #egyptian #Egyptian Pantheon #gods of egypt #Sobek #sobek ra #Hermes #hermes god #hermes greek god #Aphrodite #apollo #asclepius #asklepios #witchcraft #witch #witchblr #polytheism #greek polytheism #egyptian polytheism

[dear-yandere]

terms of endearment (iv).

yandere! bucciarati gang. what they call their darling. warnings: implied not sfw, slight daddy kink in Bucciarati’s part.

Bruno Bucciarati

♡ cara

You’d like to think he calls everyone ‘dear’, but he doesn’t. It’s clear as day to everyone, especially the townspeople who rely on Bucciarati’s help. They’ll tease you, for certain, but you try to brush it off as him ‘just being friendly’.

"Have you been waiting long, cara? I picked up a gift on my way, I hope you don’t mind.”

♡ tesoro/a

You’re his treasure, or so he claims. He’s sweet from the start and you’re not sure if he’s being polite or if he has genuine feelings for you. But every time he calls you his ‘tesoro’, you start hoping, pining, that he does... hearing him sweet talk you like that is rather... addictive. 

“Tesoro, you look wonderful tonight. Come, let me pour us some wine ”

♡ bambino/a

He may have a slight power kink, and his role as a father figure to most everyone in his life doesn’t help. There’s nothing better, he thinks, than pampering his darling and ushering praises into their ear, saying he’ll reward them for being a good bambino/a. 

“Mm, you’ve gotten better, bambina, but it’s not fair if I have all the fun, hm? Lay back, let me return the favor.”

Fugo Pannacotta

♡ [name]

When addressing you normally, he tends to stick with your first name, finding it rather cringey to hear his comrades address you by any cute pet names. It does... make him a little jealous, though, how freely they treat you with affection.

“[Name], come here. Try teaching Narancia this problem for me.”

♡ coglione/a

Meaning 'dumbass’, because for some God given reason, you never fail to irk him, unintentional or not. As rude as this name is, it’s a ... better alternative to his temper tantrums and degradation. 

“...Do you have any idea how much trouble I go through for you, cogliona?”

♡ troia, or amore

He doesn’t shy away from calling you a ‘whore’ during sex; he gets off on the constant degradation and power difference, especially if it sets his darling in line. But if darling has managed to keep on his good side, he can be incredibly affectionate and rewarding.

“Mm, do you hear yourself? I’m starting to think you deserve your name, troia.”

“Ah, I’m sorry for my outbursts, amore. Let me pamper you tonight, as a reward...”

Leone Abbacchio

♡ cretino/a

Meaning 'idiot’ or ‘dumbass,’ much more tamed than Fugo’s version of affection. Uses this as often as possible when addressing you, it’s more or less become synonymous with his darling’s name.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, cretino?“

♡ mimmo/a

The diminutive of the well-known ‘bambino/a’. For those rare moments when he’s feeling... soft, but otherwise protective. Unfortunately, this nicknames sometimes makes his darling feel as if they’re nothing more than a child he takes care of.

“Stop crying, mimma... you’re safe here. I’ll protect you.”

♡ luce dei miei occhi

Meaning ‘the light of my eyes’. He’s surprisingly soft and romantic during sex, with his hands trailing all over your body, cupping your face and bringing it close to his as he whispers how much you mean to him...

“Don’t ever leave me, please. Sei la luce dei miei occhi, I... I don’t know what I’d do without you.  “

Guido Mista

♡ fragolina

‘Little strawberry,’ a nickname that runs well off his tongue and makes you so absolutely flustered you actually look like a strawberry. Quite fitting, if you ask him, especially with how... unsettling he can get. It’s a nice change of pace, a nickname between friends, or so you’d prefer to think.

“It’ll be fun, fragolina, I promise! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t, ey?”

♡ zucchero / sugar

More or less synonymous with ‘fragolina’, though he uses this to sweet talk his darling, especially when they’re being difficult (as in, he’s done something he really shouldn’t have).

“Aw, don’t be like that, sugar... I only followed you a few times. No harm done.”

♡ sweet(est) thing

That you are, panting underneath him making the sweetest expressions and sounds. He loves sweets, and you’re the sweetest of them all; he could just eat you right up... you’ll let him, won’t you? He’s done so much for you, he thinks he deserves a little... reward.

“I haven’t even done anything, sweet thing. You that excited to have me in you?

Narancia Ghirga

♡ carino/a

He can’t help it — you’re absolutely adorable, and the first time he met you, it slipped from his lips before he could think. It’s not a secret he’s head-over-heels, considerings how often he uses it (sometimes unintentionally).

“Ahh, you look so pretty today, carina! I’m so lucky!”

♡ babe

He heard it once on tv and was absolutely taken by the way it rolls off his tongue. There’s something about using an American nickname that makes him feel cool, and hopefully, more attractive to his darling.

“Hey babe, let’s go on a date! Bucciarati’s paying!”

♡ bello/a

Sometimes a ‘babe’ slips out here or there, but he makes a point to call you ‘beautiful’ during sex. He wants nothing more than for you to know how much he adores you...

“B-bella, just like th—haa! Fuck... you’re so g-good at this, aah--”

Trish Una

♡ carina/o

Meaning 'cute’... it’s quite funny that she’d be the one to say this when she stumbles over her words the moment you make direct eye contact with her. Still, calling you cute gives her a small sense of power over how cute you insist she is...

“Carina! What’s going on with you today? Wait ... b-baby?”

♡ bello/a

For when she’s feeling especially romantic or confident... usually in private, away from prying eyes or ears. She feels... insecure calling her darling such a cute name, especially when she normally tries to paint herself as tough.

“Hehe, how do you like my gift, bella? It suits you, no?“

♡ amore (mio)

There’s nothing more affectionate than calling her darling ‘love’ during intimacy — makes her feel like they really belong to her and won’t ever leave her, like others have.

“S-stop looking at me like that, amore... Ahh, I’m so embarrassed...”

part i — part ii — part iii — part v.

#yandere bruno bucciarati x reader #yandere bruno bucciarati #yandere fugo x reader #yandere pannacotta fugo x reader #yandere mista guido x reader #yandere guido mista x reader #yandere narancia ghirga x reader #yandere narancia x reader #yandere trish una x reader #yandere trish x reader #yandere abbachio x reader #yandere leone abbacchio x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo's bizare adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure x reader #yandere jjba x reader #yandere jjba #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere #yandere scenario #yandere imagines #*headcanons

[jessikahathaway]

Crimson Grail Part IV

Holy shit this one too? Oh heck yeah. I did tell one of my lovely readers I would update this story before the end of the month so here’s to them! I hope you all enjoy it!

I DON’T OWN THE PHOTO! 

Pairing: Min Yoongi X Reader

Genre: Pirate!AU, Romance, Adventure

Warnings: Really aren’t any in here. If I missed anything please let me know!

Words: 4,797

he morning brought a dry throat and an ache in your shoulder. In fact it wasn’t even morning anymore. It had to have been around early afternoon.

You gained your bearings and hauled yourself into a seated position. The sharp pain of your wound echoed deep within your body. It hurt, but at least you were alive to tell the tale.

Not many got to say that after being shot.

Moving to stand you braved yourself against the bed frame. Looking to the vanity you saw a fresh set of clothes and a sword with buckles to hang it on.

You grinned and hurried over to the clean items. Taking off your damp shirt you discovered the soapy wash basin and began to bathe. You delicately removed the bandages from your wound and winced. A nasty scar would mar your flesh, no doubt. You’d wear it proudly, however. 

It was the brand of a life saved. 

Pulling on the shirt you smiled as it was light against your skin. The softness immaculate. Weeks at sea made you forget about such things as clean material and soft blankets. Things such as these should be cherished, you’d do that from now on.

Pulling on what you thought were pants you were surprised. A long skirt braced your form, a partial corset sitting on the chair as well. Signs of femininity. Signs of your gender. You didn’t have to hide any longer, you could be true to yourself. 

Bracing the buckles of the corset around your midsection a knock came to the door. You turned to find Greaves standing there, smiling bright.

“You look like a vision, lass.” You smiled and walked to him, smoothing the fabric of your skirt with shaky hands. 

“I certainly hope so, quite an effort to get back into one of these,” you teased. Greaves just shook his head and chuckled.

“Come, the Captain would like a word with ye,” he stated. You nodded and headed towards the door with him.

—

“Step lively men! I want those sails at full mast!” Jin shouted.

The bustle of the deck was overwhelming to watch. You itched to help them fasten the rigging correctly, as you had done for the weeks you’d been sailing with them all. Greaves went over and secured the mainsail before moving towards the bow to check the jib.

“My Lady,” Jin bowed his head while addressing you. You raised an eyebrow before looking towards the helm. Yoongi stood proud, watching his men work tirelessly towards a common goal. A common love of gold and treasures beyond time itself.

“Where are we going that requires such haste?” you asked Jin, moving towards the stairs to the helm. He followed close.

“The meeting of the Council my Lady, Captain Min will explain further once you two are alone. Best not to let the men hear too much,” he said, keeping his head low. “Kolton! Tighten the Stay Line!” 

Jin moved into the crowd of men, barking orders like he did everyday. You sighed and walked up towards Yoongi. His eyes scanned the open waters before him like a challenge not yet faced. He watched all of the men with a keen eye, something you’d never seen up close.

“Do you plan on staring at me all day, you might want to blink before the sea sprays your eyes,” he commented. You jolted and looked away with a flush on your cheeks.

“Thank you for the clothes, they’re very comfortable.” 

Yoongi turned and appraised you. His gaze racked over your body and fell on your corseted waist and ample chest. He bit his lip and chuckled when he met your unimpressed glare. “You look great, Y/N. Like a true Pirate Bride,” he smiled. 

“Jin says we are heading for the Pirate Council, why?” you asked. 

“A meeting of all the Pirate Lords. Dangerous waters such as these, ones where we feel at home are becoming our graves. Sooner than preferable. We need to gather all the Pirate Lords to come to an agreement on what is to be done about the disappearances. The White Fox, The Livered Gull, Stained Mast and Maiden Curr all have fallen in the past months. Ships not lead by daft men or women. Perhaps they were newer to the sea, however sinkings such as these aren’t common place. So why? Why are they sinking?” he asked, turning to you. 

Your mind was racing. 

The stories were true then? The disappearances of Pirates and Military vessels all from the seas. 

“I heard of it as well, back in Albion. Reports would come into the tavern. The Endeavor, Cutlass and Silver Stallion all fell to the waves. The Endeavor was the pride of the Royal Navy, and not a ship to lift your nose at. Have only experienced sailors been the targets?” you wondered.

“Why do you say targets?” Yoongi asked, raising a brow.

“Well, the White Fox and Livered Gull were both manned by seasoned sailors. Not ones to make mistakes in poor conditions or anything of that sort. However the Maiden Curr was a newer ship with a green crew. Hardly made through their first plunder with their lives in tact. But the Captain wasn’t ignorant to his nativity. The Endeavor and Cutlass were both stars of the Royal Navy, no doubt travelling with a group and serving as the flag ships for both. But the Cutlass and Endeavor would never go together in a mission, too much to lose if a loss is to take place. It seems that whatever is happening here, is either random or planned attacks that throw in a random ship to throw people off their trail,” you explained.

Yoongi nodded thoughtfully. 

“How interesting. Your thoughts are not misplaced. All information aligns,” Yoongi smiled.

“I’m a keen observer,” you noted.

“I’ll make sure to keep that in mind,” he nodded. The wind ripped through the canvas aggressively, you noticed the change in weather.

“Where are we? Shouldn’t the weather hold a little longer?” you asked. 

“The thing about the Pirate Council, is that only the Pirate Lords are skilled enough to make their way into the port,” he smiled. You bit your lip as the wind picked up once more. The men down below scurried along, trying to make sure the lines and sails didn’t get away from them. 

“I’m worried for their safety,” you stated, looking at the crew beneath you. 

“Have you no faith in me?” he asked, raising a brow. 

“It’s not that I lack faith in you, I lack faith in the weather being kind to us,” you stated.

“The weather here can change within a moment. It’s why the council decided to converge here... Only the most skilled of pirates can maneuver their way in... Hold fast to something, because we are about to let the sails go,” he announced. 

“Let the sails go? Are you insane? Then you have practically no control!” you yelped. 

“Perhaps no control is the best, hmm?” he asked. You swallowed hard, Yoongi grinned and brought you in by your waist. “Hold to me my dear, I won’t let you fall.”

You blushed, looking off towards the large rocky passing. Your heart thudded in your chest. How were you meant to clear that? The boat was too large and if the crew let go that left just Yoongi to control where they went.

“JIN! GRAB THE JIB EVERYONE ELSE! HANDS OFF THE RIGGING!”

The crew looked up at him astounded. 

“But sir if we let go-”

“I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! MEN RELEASE THE RIGGING AND JIN, GRAB THE JIB!”

You cringed as everyone followed his orders. You watched as the canvas began swirling in the harsh winds. Jin wrapped the ropes for the Jib around his arms and pulled fast on them.

“MEN GRAB THE BOOTLEG!” Yoongi cried out, “PORT SIDE!”

You watched as the men did as commanded, gathering the rope and fastening it to various sections of the deck. Your eyes widened at the idea Yoongi was going to perform.

Large rocks cane into vision through the fog. Your heart hammered in your chest at the realization. He was going to try it. All sails free save for the jib and in these waters? It was madness.

“We’ll die, please stop. Hard to starboard, it’s the only way we’ll make it out!” You cried. Yoongi gripped your waist firmer.

“Do you see the channel to the right?” He asked, keeping his eyes trained forward.

You looked frantically, when Yoongi places his fingers on your chin to direct your eyes. There, you spotted a narrow channel. One the grail might possibly scrape through if everyone held their breaths and prayed collectively.

“We’ll die.” You breathed.

“Or we’ll live,” Yoongi simplified. “Two options. I plan for the latter.”

“Dear God save us all,” you whispered.

“THROW THE BOOTLEG! NOW!”

You watched as everyone hauled the thick rope over, having it catch on the few rocks that were to your side. The sound of scraping wool caught your attention, and suddenly you were being thrown against Yoongi’s chest. He held onto you, letting the wheel move hard over. But soon he caught the turning helm and pushed, keeping it steady as the ship craned around the rocks. You felt your heart in your throat as everyone clung to various parts of the ship.

A sharp snap filled the air as you were rocketed through the channel. Your throat began to ache as you heard screaming in your ears. It was your own, you realized as Yoongi pulled you into his neck. 

“Don’t look, just listen to my voice,” he encouraged. “You’re safe, I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not now, not ever. This fear will pass.”

Gripping his jacket in your palms you shut your eyes tight. Your heart was rattled in your chest as you heard the sound of the water slapping against the aged wood of the ship. Yoongi’s heart was audible to you as well. Thudding soothingly in your ears as you tried to even your breathing.

Cries of the crew made you jump, but Yoongi pulled you back to show you the sight. Several shipwrecks were piled together in the center of this cavern. Some old, some new. Some still holding their crew who partied aboard.

“Welcome to Pirate’s Cove,” Yoongi declared to you.

“W-We... You did it, you did a bootleg turn,” you stated, not believing your eyes.

“Your amazement is cute and a little insulting, but I’ll take it for now,” he smiled.

“MEN! GET THE RIGGING BACK UP AND TAKE US IN!” Jin yelled.

“What now?” You asked, walking forward and putting your hands on the railing. The lights from several ships made the inky water sparkle. Yoongi marveled as you gazed at it, his mind going slightly blank as he watched you. Shaking his head he focused back ahead of him. He had to be on his toes, or risk your life and his.

—

Yoongi helped you walk down the wooden board connecting the Crimson Grail to the dock. There were several ships docked in a similar fashion to the Grail surrounding an island in the middle of the large cove. 

“Now, keep to yourself until we have time to scope out the threats. I don’t want anyone getting too close to you,” Yoongi said, his grip on your arm tightening just a tad bit. You sighed and patted his hand. 

“No trouble, I won’t do anything but be a simple arm piece,” you grumbled. 

Suddenly, you were pushed up against the nearest wall, Yoongi’s hands on either side of your head. 

“Do not presume that you don’t have worth here. One of the Pirate Lords is a woman. And she is one of the most ruthless pirates here. You are young, and innocent of the sea that is now colored with blood. But if you want a taste, if you want this freedom that I offer, let me protect you in the only way I can for now. I promise you, this isn’t a shackle,” he said, lifting your hand and turning it over in his hands. “It is the most powerful weapon I can give to you right now.”

“Then I’ll wield it as well as any cutlass,” you smiled. 

“Just keep your eyes peeled and don’t let anyone but me too close, they are all trained killers, and they would want nothing more than to see my bride wind up dead. Even though they personally might not have anything to do with it, I can’t speak for their crew remaining unbiased in the situation,” Yoongi explained.

“Very well, I won’t cause any trouble, cross my heart,” you said, crossing your fingers in an X over your breast. 

“Now, let me tell you who all of these people are,” Yoongi began. “There’s Scarlett River, a truly bloodthirsty woman who would like to be Queen of all Pirates. However, the council cannot agree on a candidate but that is besides the point. She’s deadly with a pistol and will drink any man under the table. But she’s a great sailor and can prove to be an amazing ally if the need arises. She has several men and women under her mast and they are all loyal to her. She is someone you might be able to trust. But like I said, all of these people would like nothing more than my wife dead, so please, do keep her at arms length.”

You nodded and he continued.

“Next, is Allistar Morningstar. He is the youngest Pirate Lord at 19 and has the following to back him up. He’s immature and ruthless, but has the strategic mind of a man at constant war. Never place your bets against him, because he’ll defy all the odds and make you regret underestimating him. Generally he is pleasant, but keeps to himself. He wants to find himself a bride as soon as possible, seeing you will no doubt upset him. Just keep your head low around that crazy kid and I’ll see to it nothing goes awry.”

“Allistar Morningstar? He actually exists?! I heard that he-”

“Please don’t fawn over him like all the others do, its unwise,” he commented, before continuing. “ Next is Apollo.”

“You meant the ‘One-Eyed Sharpshooter!?’” You squealed. “I heard that he took down an entire battleship with ten people and a half loaded pistol!”

“He’s not one to trifle with that’s for certain. He is known to never show up to these meetings, but he’s here now. That means whatever we’re dealing with is serious, I want you to know that not a lot is known about this guy. He keeps to himself. He had a bride once, and she died. She never made it to their first council meeting before she caught an illness and died back in Lunavox. She was heir to a fortune that she turned down to be with him, it was love and he was devastated when she died, seeing you here won’t be easy for him either. Steer clear of that one,” Yoongi informed.

“Aye aye,” you said. 

“Next is Park Jimin. He’s a sleazy bastard, but a great friend of mine. But don’t trust him as far as you can throw him, he’s always in it for himself. But, when the time comes, I know he’d do the right thing. He has several people behind him as well. Loyal and diehard to his cause of debauchery. Just, don’t drink anything he gives you and don’t let his wandering hands find your body or he might lose them,” he growled. 

“I’ll be sure to cut off his hands before he can think about touching me,” you smirked.

“Atta girl. But finally there’s Swallowtail. Keep clear of him if you can. He’s no good and is rarely associated with good people. However, he has intel on everyone and everything. No doubt knows you’re here already. But, we might surprise him tonight if we’re lucky. He doesn’t mix well with women and has it out for them in a certain way. Mommy issues, but we don’t need to get into all of that here. But those are all the Pirate Lords, every conniving one of them.”

“You missed one,” you whispered, looking into his eyes as he stared back at you.

“Ah, it seems I did... No matter, you’ll find out my secrets one day. Perhaps,” he smiled. 

“Captain Min I-Oh! Sorry! I didn’t know you two were, uh. Excuse me,” Jin said, stumbling over his words.

Looking at your situation you gently pushed Yoongi away from you, crossing your arms over your chest before looking at Jin with a neutral expression. 

“No need, we were just discussing business. What did you need?”

Jin cleared his throat before looking to you then Yoongi. “The meeting will be proceeding in the next fifteen minutes. We must head inside soon.”

“Very well, lead the way Jin,” Yoongi said, taking your hand in his. 

—

The inside of the Pirate Council meeting room was decorated with several swords and cutlasses and other types of weaponry. It was almost uncomfortable with how much was crammed in there. But Yoongi kept a close hold on you as you walked through the halls. It was a bunch of different shipwrecks, crashed together and molded around one another to create a type of structure. The wood underneath was rotting and you held tight to Yoongi for fear of falling straight through the floor. 

Jin was silent ahead of you as a few other women came out from the woodworks it seems as they began leading you to the Council room as well. They were beautiful in their own right. Shapely bodies and gorgeous locks that made you slightly envious. 

As you rounded a corner you began to hear yelling and smashing of objects.

“COME HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!” A woman screamed as you heard boisterous laughter and cheers. 

“Sounds like Jimin must of pissed off Scarlett again,” Yoongi stated smirking. “He always tries to get under her skin in some way shape or form during these meetings.”

“Why?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Because, he likes her but won’t admit it and two pirate lords being together could cause a hell of a lot of trouble for the Council and one of them would have to give up their title for love and both of them love treasure and power more than one another so, they just fight it out,” Yoongi says. 

“That’s kind of sad,” you commented.

“It’s not so bad, they made their weird relationship work in it’s own right,” he said, rubbing your good shoulder. 

But before you could speak a bottle was flying straight for your head. 

Yoongi, quickly, grabbed you and let the bottle shatter against his back. Grunting with the effort of the blow. 

“Yoongi!” You gasped, grabbing his arms and checking him over frantically.

“I’m alright dear, I’m okay,” Yoongi said, taking your hands in his. 

“But-”

“So this is the Pirate Bride we’re heard so much about,” someone said. A man with dark eyes and blonde hair approached. He looked young, he must be Allistar Morningstar.

“Back up Allistar, don’t want you scaring away the new beautiful young woman,” another man, with dark eyes similar to Allistar’s, but much more friendly and black hair secured under his pirate cap. 

“Jimin,” Yoongi smiled, taking his hand in Jimin’s. 

“Yoongi, good to see you, and lovely to meet you my dear,” Jimin said, taking your hand and kissing it softly.

“Alright alright, off my wife,” Yoongi said, pushing Jimin in the shoulder gently.

“Finally! Another woman to add to the group!” A crisp voice rang out above the crowd. A beautiful woman with golden brown eyes and scorching red hair approached you. 

“Scarlett, everyone, this is my bride, Y/N,” Yoongi introduced you.

“Hello,” you waved, suddenly shy.

“Oh don’t be modest my dear! Come, sit by me!” Scarlett said, taking your hand and pulling you into the crowd. Yoongi let you go, not fazed by Scarlett’s over-friendly attitude as he began chatting with Jimin.

A few minutes later the group came to a calm, people were chatting amongst themselves as you sat awkwardly with your hands in your lap. 

Scarlett had downed her second glass of wine since the two of you sat down and you were feeling more and more ostracized by the second.

“So,” she began, catching your attention, “Yoongi huh?”

“Ah. Yeah...” you trailed off, not sure what you could divulge about your situation to her. It was still new to you as well. 

“Don’t yeah me! Tell me the details! How you met! I want the whole love story,” she said, resting her chin in her palms like a small child awaiting a bedtime story.

“W-well... Uh, we met in Albion,” you began. She didn’t interrupt you so you continued. “I was working as a barmaid and well... The head of the bar was selling my bed to the highest bidder,” you cringed, trying not to think of the awful memory.

“No! What a degenerate,” Scarlett growled, taking another swig of wine.

“Um, anyways, Yoongi paid 60 trinity coins to share my bed with me. But when we got up to the room he didn’t touch me. Just told me to rest and that he might want me to repay him some day,” you explained.

“Wow, what a Yoongi thing to do,” she exclaimed.

“What do you mean?” You asked, intrigued.

“Well, Yoongi has never been able to let a damsel in distress go unsaved. It’s kinda his thing, but you must be special if he chose you to be his bride! You’re easy on the eyes that’s for sure, and you must be able to hold your own in a battle too!”

“Well, I’m not sure about that-”

“Alright ye mongrels! Gather round,” a voice yelled.

Looking up you saw a tall man standing towards the back of the room. He was wearing a aged leather hat and his beard touched the middle of his chest. His mousy brown hair also hung low, intermingling with the hair of his beard when he sat down. 

It was Swallowtail, Apollo sat to his right. One blue eye gazing around the room. Scarlett looked towards the back as Yoongi took his seat next to Jimin. You were surprisingly anxious sitting by yourself without Yoongi there. But you had every right to be here, just as they did. So, you started listening.

“We are here in regards to ships goin’ missin’ off the seas. Does anyone have any ideas as to why this might be happening?”

The room was silent. 

“Perhaps the Royal Navy has finally caught up to some of them,” Allistar said, lifting his cup to his lips before drinking his rum in one go. 

“People in the Royal Navy have gone missing you dunce,” Jimin said, smacking the glass out of his hand.

“Does anyone else have an idea?”

The room went silent once more.

You thought long and hard as the silence bore on.

What could be causing these attacks? Why were whole ships going missing without a word or any survivors?

What kind of people don’t take prisoners or at least the bounty of those they have taken down. These whole ships are sinking without their boon being taken at all. It’s all just sinking...

That must mean whatever is doing this isn’t doing it for money. Perhaps they just want the glory? Pirate killers? But they’ve taken down Navy members as well. 

And it can’t be someone inexperienced, it’s a trained murderer. 

Then a story popped into your head. One your father told to you years ago. 

“If a man takes the Heart of the Sea, then a monster will arise far stronger than any man alive. The only way to keep the treasure is to kill the one you truly love, or to give the necklace back to the ocean. This monster is called a Kraken.”

“W-What if it’s the Kraken?”

Scarlett spit out her drink.

Jimin laughed.

And Yoongi looked slightly embarrassed.

“My dear, just let this one go,” Scarlett advised, wiping her mouth.

“But I’m serious,” you said, thinking about it more.

“What if someone took the Heart of the Ocean and released the Kraken?” You said, putting your hands on the table.

“Y/N,” Yoongi said, looking at you sharply.

“So good to know Yoongi took a loon for a wife,” Allistar said from across the room.

“I’m not a loon! I-I heard the stories when I was younger,” you declared.

“That’s all they are, love, stories,” Jimin said, swirling his wine in his glass.

“But what else could it be? The stories say he who holds the Heart of the Sea controls the ocean! It would explain why all these ships are going missing.”

“No one’s ever seen the Heart of the Sea, let alone found a map leading anywhere near it or where to find it! Honestly, Y/N, let’s think of something else,” Scarlett said, placing her glass down.

“These ships are all being attacked at random, no one knows why or how they’re being taken down. Whomever is destroying these ships isn’t doing it for the boon! It’s all sinking! And why take out ships that you could add to your bounty? It doesn’t make any sense, but what would a monster gain from stealing when all it wants is to devour the ocean whole?”

“Y/N, that’s enough,” Yoongi said, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“Like hell it is! This could be it! And if that’s the case all we have to do is find the Heart of the Sea and give it back to the ocean! Then all these ships will stop going missing and-”

“I said that’s enough!” Yoongi said, slamming his fists down on the table. “We are not here to make mockery of each other. We are here to discuss why these ships might be going missing, not telling one of your wives tales, Y/N!”

The burn of shame was hot across your cheeks as Yoongi settled back into his seat, Jimin placing a warning hand on his shoulder. Scarlett shushed you in the corner.

The room was silent.

Until.

“I believe her,” a soft voice came.

Heads snapped in the direction of the voice.

“Apollo you can’t be serious,” Allistar said.

“I’m very serious,” Apollo said, not wavering.

“What do you mean?” Swallowtail said, inching closer to the one eyed man.

“I heard someone talking recently about finding a map to the Heart of the Sea. I didn’t think anything of it, until now that Y/N puts it all together.”

“She’s delusional!” Allistar shouted.

“Watch your tongue!” Scarlett said, standing up.

“Does anyone here know of Tobias Bridge, the Captain of Satan’s Compass?” 

You could hear Yoongi hiss under his breath.

“We’re well acquainted, yes,” Yoongi growled. 

“It was him whom I heard talking about the Heart of the Sea, and finding an old map off the coast of Port Sarrion. If Tobias has truly found the Heart of the Sea and unleashed the Kraken, then it might already be too late.” Apollo stated, worry interlacing in his tone.

“No, I won’t let that smarmy bastard get away with something like this,” Yoongi said.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Swallowtail announced.

“Go after him!” You said, as if it were obvious.

“Y/N the last time you went up against Tobias you got shot, I don’t think that going up against a man who controls the sea is the best option here,” Yoongi said, feigning frustration.

“But what else can we do Yoongi? Just wait until the Kraken devours everyone? We need to stop him and return the Heart of the Ocean,” you said.

“I agree with Y/N, if Tobias truly has it, then we need to stop him as soon as possible,” Scarlett said from your side.

“I think you’re all insane,” Allistar stated, drinking more.

“Then let’s take it to a vote,” Swallowtail said. 

“All in favor of hunting Tobias Bridge, say aye!” 

“Aye!”

“Aye!” 

“Aye!”

“And all opposed?”

You saw Yoongi’s hand raise as well as Swallowtail’s and Allistar’s.

So it was a draw.

“Y/N,” Scarlett said.

“What?”

“You still have to vote,” Scarlett said as if it were obvious.

“She’ll just go with what Yoongi says, so let’s discuss another matter,” Allistar whined.

“I say we go after Tobias Bridge and take back the Heart of the Sea,” you declared. 

Yoongi’s eyes shot to yours, before quickly diverting his attention elsewhere.

“Then at dawn we sail for Satan’s Compass to take back the Heart of the Ocean!”

#Min Yoongi #Crimson Grail #Jessika Hathaway #Min Yoongi Smut #Yoongi Smut #Yoongi X Reader #Ficswithluv #Park Jimin #Kim Seokjin #Yoongi #bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfction #BTS smut

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Kindred Spirit (Taehyung X You) (ONESHOT)

A/N: The full version of the Taehyung fanfic, but I changed it a little from the preview I posted. Hope its okay 😘 also, im not sure whats an "er of their marriage" means exactly? But i take it their life after marriage? Ill make an epilogue of that soon! 😘

"Ive been an idol for years Y/N and you have never once come to see me perform? Dont you know people would die for all the free passes and tickets I left for you?!" Her bestfriend grumbles, hands crossed over his chest, his pout over an inch long.

Y/N laughs.

"Thats why I said you should give it to someone else thats actually have time to go watch you,"

"But you are my best friend. BESTFRIEND Y/N. How is is possible you never once saw me perform? And you dont even know any of my bandmates? How is that possible??" Yoongi keeps on grumbling in disbelief.

"Well.. Min Yoongi. I can give you an answer. Because I'm busy with real life okay. You know my appa wants me to take over soon. You know I dont do it on purpose right?" Y/N pouts, hoping if shes cute enough, or looks guilty enough Yoongi would actually forgive her.

"Nope. Your puppy face wont cut it this time,"

Damn.

"You are coming. And if I dont see you cheering your ass off tomorrow night, front row, our friendship is over. Over I say!"

And thats is why Y/N is running and pushing through the excited crowd of boys and girls in the stadium, trying to find her section. She made it! She almost didnt, but almost didnt matter. Shes here now. All dressed in her work clothes, with what is supposed to be called an Army Bomb in her hand,  something that her secretary shoved in her bag earlier, saying its a must have for an Army. She dont even know what an Army is!

As the show starts, Y/N jumps to the music, smiling proudly everytime Yoongi make an appearance. She has heard him rapped before, but she never seen him this charismatic. Its as if the man on stage is not even the dorky Yoongi she has known for years. And his band members... wow. All so talented, all so good looking.

As the concert ended, Y/N makes her way backstage, flashing the pass Yoongi gave her and make her way through series of dressing room, trying to find the one where the boys are in.

"Must be this one," she followed the door that has the most sound and lights to find the boys chatting, congratulating each other. "Uh, Yoongi?" Y/N calls out softly, feeling awkward. Is she even supposed to be here?

"Oh you are here. God, cant believe you actually made it!" Yoongi rushed over and gave her a tight hug. "Wait, I'll introduce you to the others, but I need to change my pants first. Wait here, dont move!" Before she could say anything, Yoongi has already ran off.

"Uh.. okay. Ill stay here I guess," she moved herself timidly to a corner and stands awkwardly, hoping no one would notice her. But wishes dont always come true.

"Hey, uh..." a guy, a very handsome guy, who Y/N recognizes as one of Yoongi's band members, but cant be sure who, approached her.

"Uh.. yes? A-am I not supposed to be here? Im sorry. Im just waiting for Y-"

"Oh, no. I just want to ask you. Wheres the bathroom?"

"Huh?" Y/N looks at the guy curiously. Is he for real? He had a three day back to back concert here and today is the third day. And he doesnt know where the bathroom is? And he is asking... her? Y/N laughs before answering. So weird.

"Uh.. I-"

Smack.

"You know very well where the bathroom is you idiot. What are you talking about?" Yoongi who just came back smacked the guy's head.

"Ouchhh, hyunggg," he pouted, rubbing his head.

"Serves you right. Thats the worse and most cringy pick up line ever!"

"Hyunggggg, shut upppp," the guy eyed Y/N shyly and glares at his hyung and turn his attention back on her. "S-sorry. I just wanted to talk to you but I dont want to scare you off," he grins sheepishly.

"Oh, its okay. Im not a stalker. I'm here because Yoongs invited me. I'm Y/N," she hands out her hand for a handshake. "And no, I dont know where the bathroom is," she giggles.

Yoongi rolls his eye and smacks his forehead at the lame attempt of flirting the younger man is doing.

"Hi Y/N. I'm Taehyung," he grips her hand and shakes it. "Kim Taehyung. And I'm the guy you will be having coffee with tonight," he grins.

/////

"Okay, so do you have a boyfriend?"

"No appa, I dont," Y/N sighs, frustrated.

"Then uh.... do you not like men? I mean, Im okay with that sweetheart, as long as you are happy..."

Y/N smile a little. Her appa is the most adorable man ever existed.

"Appa, no!" She giggles.

"Okay, okay. Im just asking. You know I will support you always princess," her appa smile and she can see a small sigh of relieve. "Then what is it sweetheart? Why are you so against this marriage with Hyun Dae?"

"Well, for one, I think arranged marriage is so old school appa," she pouts. "We are not living in the 60s or 20s or whatever year you and eomma are from,"

"How old do you think we are? The 20s?!" Her appa laughs. "Arranged marriage is not so bad you know,"

"Its not bad at all. I actually found the love of my life," her eomma gets up from the couch and link arms with her husband. "Although he is quite annoying at first," she laughs. Y/N's appa leans and kiss the top of her mothers head.

"Its the best decision ever," he smiles.

Y/N roll her eyes. It is well known between their family, friends and community that her parents are as in love as ever. They were from two wealthy family, arranged to be married, and lucky for them, they were each other soulmates.

"Appa, eomma, just because you two are lucky doesnt mean everyone is,"

"But sweetheart, Hyun Dae is everything a man can be. Hes very kind, smart, hes taking over his appa's business, he loves animals, arts, kids. Everything that you like. And plus, you two are quite close too. Why are you so against it?"

Y/N sighs.

"I dont know. Maybe a little part of me wants that traditional love story you know? To fall madly in love with someone and then get married?" She sighs and lays her head on her elbow. Her parents look at each other before her eomma approached her slowly, stroking her hair slowly.

"Sweetheart... are you in love with someone?"

"Well..." Y/N scratched her neck, avoiding their intrusive eyes. Her lips immediately curl into a small smile as an image immediately pops inside her head. Boxy smile, deep voice, always happy, positive outlook on everything. The one guy who made her deeply fall in love.

"Oh my dear, who is it? Why didnt you tell us?" Her eomma smile widely, clapping her hand in excitement.

"Well.. its uh.. because I dont know if he feels the same way..."

"Have you told him yet? Whoever this lucky person is?" Her appa take a step closer to her, smiling. His princess' happiness is everything to him.

"N-no. Not yet. I dont know. Should I?"

"You should sweetheart. Or how else would he know? And he most definitely feels the same way,"

"Do you think so appa?"

"I know so," he smiles. "Who in the world wouldnt fall in love with you sweetheart?"

Y/N smiles. Her parents are the best.

"Then I'll tell him. I'll tell him tomorrow,"

/////

"I like you Taehyung,"

A few moments past without either one saying anything. The air that pricks her skins feels colder. But nothing is colder that Taehyung's stare that is emotionless in front of her right now.

"Uh.. what? I heard you wrong I think," he laughs awkwardly.

"I... like you Taehyung,"

"Well, I like you too. Of course. You are one of my closest friends," Taehyung smiles. Y/N feels her heart suffocating but still puts on a brave face. Maybe he dont understand what she meant. Taehyung can be oblivious sometimes.

"I like you Taehyung," Y/N says it much clearer this time. "I.. love you. I love you Kim Taehyung. Like for real,"

"Listen..," he sighs after a few moment of silence. "I'm really flattered that you uh.. have feelings for me. And I know we have developed some degree of friendship, but... you thats what you are... just a friend," he looks at her with his deep gaze. "Yoongi's hyung friend to be exact,"

"Yoongi's friend?" Y/N looks at him, eyes filled with confusion. "After all this time. Is that all I am to you Tae? Your hyung's friend?"

"You know what I mean Y/N. You know how we met-"

"Yeah, I know how we met Tae.. but I though after all these time and moments we had..."

"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"

Y/N felt like Taehyung just stabbed hee heart a million times. What does he mean that shes just.. her? Whats so wrong about being her?

"I enjoy our friendship, our interaction Y/N, but no more than that. And I am sorry to say that I am in a relationship. We havent gone public yet, but we are planning to, by this week,"

"I-in a relationship? With who Tae? A-and you didnt even bother to tell me? After all the time we spent together?" Y/N feels like screaming, but she knows she has no right to do so. All she can do is hold in her tears that can easily burst at any time.

"I think you know her," he smiles. Oblivious to the pain that Y/N is feeling.  "Oraia. The new idol,"

"Oraia?" Oh Y/N knows the girl perfectly well. Pretty, fashionable, great at singing, dancing. Any guy would kill to have her. Including Taehyung it seems.

"I-I have to know Tae. W-why her? H-how?" Y/N managed to choked out her question.

"Oraia is the perfect girl for me," Taehyung smile at the thoughts of her, proving how in love he is, making Y/N's heart breaks even more. "An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

"You are not a worldstar when I met you. You are not that like this when I met you," Y/N said softly, holding in tears. "We are not that much different from each other Tae,"

Taehyung gave a sad smile, no, a pity smile, before standing up, ready to leave.

"You can think whatever you want Y/N. But if you ever think we can be together..." he sighs and looks at her and gave her another pity smile. "If only things were different. In another world, maybe we would have been together.Goodbye Y/N,"

/////

Y/N closes her eyes, tears rolling down both her cheeks, already mixed together with the pouring rain as she walks home. Maybe the rain will wash away her feelings for Taehyung. Her stupid feelings for Taehyung. Different world? Taehyung's world is what she wanted to avoid her whole life. Glitz, glamour, fame, riches... Y/N cries out as loud as her heart wanted, thankful no one can hear her in the heavy rain. Shes just not enough for him. Thats the real reason. And she will never be for Kim Taehyung.

Days passed and Y/N has been locked up in her room ever since that disasterous day. Her parents have given up trying to find out what happen and finally left her alone.

And this week is finally the week Y/N dread the most. All the entertainment news, magazines, gossip websites are buzzing with the announcement that has just been made all week.

Y/N looks at the glossy pictures of the scattered tabloids in front of her again. The intimate pictures getting blurry as her eyes gets wetter. Taehyung's voice replayed in her brain like a broken record.

"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"

"An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

With a deep breath, she crumples the pages that reflects the beautiful relationship that is Taehyung and Oraia, wipe her eyes and walked downstairs to where her parents are drinking tea, enjoying their evening in their luxurious lounge.

"Oh Y/N. You are finally out. How are you feeling honey? Want to join us sweetheart?" Her mother looked up from the magazine shes reading and smile, her father the same, offering her a seat besides them.

"N-no. Thanks though. And I feel better," she gave a small smile. "Eomma, appa, I have something to tell you guys," she said, heart beating fast.

"What is it honey?"

"Appa, eomma, I have thought it through. I agree to your proposal. I agree with the arranged marriage to Hyun Dae,"

Her parents looks at each other, surprised.

"Sweetheart, are you sure? You dont have to rush into this. You should take your time and think i-"

"No appa. I am sure this time," she gave a smile, hoping it would convince them. "I want to marry Hyun Dae. I think he and I will make a very happy marriage,"

"W-well.." her eomma looks unsure. "Okay.. then,"

"If you are sure sweetheart. Then we will start setting it up," her appa stood up and hugs her. "Just know that we both love you so much and want nothing but your happiness,"

Y/N nods slowly, tears brimming in her eyes, softly she whispers,

"Me too appa, me too..,"

/////

Tupp. Tupp.

Y/N looks over the sliding door that opens up to her huge balcony. What is that sound? Panicking, she grab the first thing she can reach, a hairbrush, and walk slowly to the glass sliding door.

Tupp. Tupp.

The sound continue. Taking a deep breath she bravely slides open the door.

"Ouchhh," she rubs her head. "What the hell?" She looks around to find what hit her. "A pebble?"

"Oh no, did I hit you?" A voice called out. Y/N looks over the balcony.

"Hyun Dae? What are you doing here? Its 2am!"

"I, uh.. I want to talk to you," he grins.

"Theres this thing call a telephone you know? Or a front door? Havent use one of those?" She glares and Hyun Dae laughs.

"Sorry. I just thought this Romeo and Juliet shit is romantic you know?" He laughs and Y/N rolls her eyes. "Can you come down? Lets take a walk in your garden,"

"Come down from here? Like Rapunzel?!"

Hyun Dae laughs. "Oh my god, how are you so adorable? Of course not! Use the front door silly,"

Y/N giggles. "Okay. Be right there,"

A few minutes later, they were strolling in Y/N's family flower garden, inhaling the fresh night air.

"So? What is it you want to talk about that cant wait until daylight?"

"Well," Hyun Dae stop walking and pull her hand, sitting her down on the stone bench. "I just want to do it properly and formally," he smiles and kneels down in front of her, holding her hand.

Y/N looks at him, both nervous and confused.

"Y/N, you dont know how truly happy, grateful, excited, speechless, ecstatic I am that you agreed to marry me. I have been in love with you since forever," he smiles and blush slightly. "And I know this is just an arranged marriage to you, and you dont love me. But right here, right now, I promise you, that I will make you the happiest girl alive, that I will love you despite everything and anything, and everything you wish for princess, is my command,"

Y/N feels her heart beats faster.

"L/N Y/N, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man ever lived?"

Without a doubt, without a single second of hesitation, she nodded.

"Yes, yes, definitely yes,"

/////

"You look distracted. Whats wrong?" Yoongi glance at Taehyung whos just staring blankly at his mirror as they are changing and cleaning up their makeup.

"Uh... nothing hyung," Taehyung quickly pretends to clean up his things.

"Its not nothing. You have been distracted for a few weeks now. I didnt want to say anything because I thought you would snap out of it but its just getting worse,"

"Its really nothing hyung!" Taehyung snaps and plop down on his chair, sighing. Yoongi shrugs and decide to give him some space. "Err.. hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Why..uh... why doesnt Y/N come over to our shows anymore?" Taehyung finally open up his mouth to ask. Since that first time they met, she has always been around, cheering for them, right at the front row. But after her confession, he didnt see her anymore. Yeah, he felt bad about what he said and he tried calling, texting, video calling.. but nothing. Shes totally ignoring him. He wanted to meet her at her house, or her work place, until he realized he didnt know where to go. In fact, he didnt know anything about her. All the time they hung out, he only always talk about him. His life, his problems. Him. As if its that interesting. He sighs again.

Yoongi side eyed him.

"Is that what disturbing you? Y/N?"

"N-no. Im just curious,"

"Oh, okay then. Then the answer is, I dont want to tell you," Yoongi picks up his stuff and walk off.

Of course. Of course his hyung knows. Yoongi and Y/N are best friends afterall. Taehyung sighs. Well, maybe he deserves this. But still... he doesnt want to admit it to anybody, even himself, but deep down, he miss her. Really miss her.

/////

"Okay guys, lets go. We need to get ready," Namjoom clap his hands as a way to make his members make their way to the dressing room. Its awards season finally, and they need to get ready for their stage. Taehyung makes his way with his hyung to the back of the stage, wishing for all this to be over soon. He really wants to just rest his head.

As he was putting on the final touches he turns to the door and saw Y/N standing there, all dressed in a beautiful gown, fit for an award show. His first thought is, wow, and the second is that his eyes are playing tricks on him. But as Y/N makes her way inside and hugs Yoongi, he knows this is  reality. Taehyung smiles. He cant help it. Did Yoongi told her about what he said a few days back and now shes here to see him?

Taehyung walks over the moment he gets the chance to get her alone.

"Hey," Taehyung smiles.

"Um.. hey," Y/N smiles awkwardly.

"So, why are you here? You miss me or something? Or are you stalking me?" He laughs.

"No, I'm actually h-"

"Hey baby, there you are. The crew said you went in first," A handsome guy, and obviously a chaebol makes his way to them, giving Y/N a kiss on the cheek and hugging her waist.

"Hi babe," she smiles. "Yeah, I went in to see Yoongi. Its time you meet my mysterious bestie,"

Taehyung was silenced, eyeing the man up and down. Baby? Cheek kissing? Waist hugging? Who is this guy?

"Oh is this Yoongi?" He smiles and held out a hand. Taehyung took it reluctantly.

"Oh no no. This is Kim Taehyung. Hes uh... Yoongi's band member,"

Yoongi's band member? Thats all he is??

"Oh okay. Hi, I'm Hyun Dae," he smiles and shakes Taehyung's hand before hugging Y/N's waist again. Taehyung felt like pulling off his arm, and he dont know why he felt that way.

"Lets go meet Yoongi," Y/N smiles and bows to him and move over to Yoongi, leaving Taehyung still staring at them. Once Yoongi and Hyun Dae are caught up in a conversation, Taehyung immediatly grab Y/N by the elbow and drag her to the side.

"Ouchh. What the hell Tae?!"

"Are you seriously this petty?" Taehyung scoffs.

"Petty?? What are you even talking about?"

"Fine, I rejected you. So now you are bringing this... this... stuck up someone here for what? To show me that you have moved on? To make me jealous?" Taehyung scoffs again. "As if,"

"What?!" Y/N looks at him in disbelief. "God Taehyung, you are so full of yourself! Hes not stuck up! And I'm not here for you!"

"Yeah right," Taehyung smile sarcastically. "So, hyung told you I asked and the next show you brought a man over? Please Y/N, have some pride,"

"What are you even talking about? Yoongs never talked about you. At all! Im here becaus-"

"Oh Taehyung, you have already met," his manager interrupted the conversation and bows to Y/N as Hyun Dae join her side. "Okay guys, gather round. I think all of you must already know about The Empire. As you know, their company owns and organized all show events in Korea and is one of the biggest in the music industry, among others. The president cant make it, so his daughter is here instead. And she and her fiancee just wants to meet all the artists her tonight to express their gratitude,"

Y/N and Hyun Dae bows and smiles to everyone as Taehyung stands frozen in place, the only thing he can hear is 'fiance'. Y/N is... engaged?

And... shes an heir?

"You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

Yeah, they are worlds apart. He was right. But the truth is, Taehyung is the one whos way beneath her.

/////

"Lets go, lets go peopleeee," Namjoon clapped his hands a sign for them to get moving. Taehyung and the rest of the members climbed up their black van, still yawning from having to wake up early in the morning. They are off to another country for a month for their variety show shoot. A special content, the management said. Something to do with their new sponsors. Taehyung never really pay attention to all the boring details, all he knows is, he will do what he is asked to do, no question asked.

But as they land and making their way out from their private plane, Taehyung, still half asleep, need to take a double take when he saw Y/N and her fiance at the arrivals, standing atound with the crew, their luggage all around them.

"H-hyung?" He nervously tapped Yoongi's shoulder.

"What?" Yoongi grumbled, still cranky from being awaken from his beauty sleep on the plane.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me or is that uh... Y/N?" Taehyung really wished he has gone crazy. Thats he is seeing things. That Yoongi will look at him funny and tell him theres no Y/N. And Yoongi did look at him funny, but his answer is totally not what hes expecting.

"Dont you know? Her father's company is our new sponsor for the show and they are here to monitor the shoot,"

Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He dont know why the news startled him. It shouldnt be affecting him at all. Right? Even he dont understand what he is feeling as he looked over to Y/N and Hyun Dae smiling at each other. Anger? Sadness? Happy? He cant be sure. But one thing he knows for sure, its going to be one hell of a month.

/////

"So... you arent going to tell me that you are engaged?" Taehyung jogged lightly, to catch up with Y/N whom he saw is taking a morning walk from his hotel roon window. They have free schedule for the first day and what luck, the first thing he saw this morning is Y/N, alone. Without that stupid chaebol.

"Oh, uh hi Taehyung," Y/N, startled at his presence, give a small smile and a polite bow.

"Hi Y/N," he smile. Honestly, he missed her. Well, they were pretty close before. As friends. Yes, of course as friends and nothing more! Taehyung reminded himself. "But seriously, you are never going to tell me you are engaged?"

"Do I have to?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm your friend or yoongis friend or whatever, you know? And I dont think you be interested to know anyway," she picked up her pace but Taehyung managed to catch up.

"What do you mean?! Of course I wanna know! And of course we are friends! And you didnt think to tell me that you father own half of Korea's music industry?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, you never ask. And I'm not one to go around telling people my family history Tae," she shrugged. "Afterall, why would a worldstar want to know about someone who is from a different world than him, right?"

Okay, he deserved that.

"Okay, Y/N, look," he pull her hand, stopping her from walking. "I am sorry about what I said that day. I dont know what I was thinking. I was startled by your confession. To be honest, the months I spent without seeing you at all, well... I missed you. I miss you, okay?"

Y/N sighed. Why is he doing this to her? Her heart is still recovering. Still trying to erased every love she felt for him.

"We are going to spend a whole month working together. Stuck in a small island. Why dont we be friends again? Hmm?" He made his famous puppy eyes, blinking his eyes rapidly, lips pouting. "Pleaaaase? Taetae is sorrryy,"

Y/N tried to keep a sttaight face but burst out laughing. She can never say no to that face.

"Fine Tae. You know I cant resist that stupid face," she laughs.

"So, friends?" Taehyung held out a hand and Y/N shakes it.

"Of course, friends,"

As he shakes her hand, smiling ear to ear, Taehyung realized, he had never felt this happy, and it scared him.

/////

They might have rekindled their friendship, but Taehyung couldnt get even 10 minutes alone with her without being disturbed by Yoongi or Hyun Dae, and its pissing him off. Worse, he have to watch all the romantic moments between the two love birds, and trust him, Hyun Dae is really not afraid to show his affection, its making him wants to throw up.

Suprising Y/N with flowers on set, setting up a special candle light dinner when the whole crew is eating, suddenly gets on stage in the middle of dinner and sing her a song. And that motherfucker can even play a guitar and he look damn good playing it too. Taehyung swore all the girls there are swooning over him. But what he hates most is all the admiring whispers.

"Y/N is so lucky"

"Hyun Dae is the perfect guy"

"I wish I was Y/N"

Urghhh. Annoying.

It also doesnt help that his relationship with Oraia has gone stale. Yeah, they text everyday, call each other every night. But nothing she says interest him. Taehyung mostly tune out whatever shes saying during their phone calls, eyes focusing on what Y/N is doing. The way she laughs when she talks to someone, her clusmy ways of doing things, her passion while working. All that is more interesting to him than his own girlfriend. His supppsedly perfect, beautiful, girlfriend.

It must be the island. He hasnt seen Oraia for almost a month now, and hes stuck here for all that time. Of course it will put a strain on his relationship. Yes, that must be it.

But as his heart bubbles with jealousy as he watches Y/N and Hyun Dae running around the beach, Hyun Dae catching Y/N by the waist and lift her up to kiss her, Taehyung knows for sure, that it is definitely not it.

/////

Taehyung tossed and turned for hours and after eventually still failing to fall asleep, he decide to take a walk by the beach. The moon is out and the breeze is welcoming. Its a good night to walk and collect his thoughts.

As he walked slowly along the beach, the cool air blowing his hair, he saw a figure sitting alone by the beach, eyes closed, enjoying the midnight breeze. Taehyung immediately smile.

Y/N.

"Hey," he approached her slowly and smile.

"Oh, Tae. Hi," she smiled back. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I cant sleep. What about you? Isnt it dangerous for a pretty girl to be alone so late at night?" He smile.

Y/N laughs.

"Its a private island Tae. I think its kinda safe. And you know I usually cant sleep and the sound of the ocean calms me down,"

Taehyung does know that. Back to the days when they use to spend so much time together, they always sit by the beach and talked. Well, usually, he will be the one who do the talking, because all he cares about is himself. And his problems. And Y/N always listen. To all his weird ramblings, his peculiar thoughts that people usually laugh at. Even Oraia sometimes makes fun of him. But Y/N listen to them all. Understand him even. Why didnt he realized that before?

"Well... can I join you?"

"Of course. Have a seat," she patted down the spot besides her and Taehyung makes himself comfortable. They talked and talked, laughter filled up the night air and Taehyung cant seem to care about anything else other than that moment.

"Oh god, my tummy is hurting from laughing so much," Y/N said, still giggling from what Taehyung said. "I forgot how funny and weird you are Taetaeee,"

Taehyung smile and looked at her, staring deeply at her laughing face.

"Its nice,"

"What is?" Y/N who has stopped laughing, asked him, confused.

"Hearing you call me Taetae again," he smile, making Y/N blushed.

"W-well, that is your name,"

"Yeah, yeah. It is," Taehyung smile, still staring at her. "Y/N? Are you happy?"

"Right now? Yeah I am. We have been laughing for hours Tae. Of course Im happy. Whats wrong with you?" Y/N giggles, trying to toned down the awkwardness shes starting to feel.

"No. I mean, are you happy? Like really happy? With Hyun Dae? Does he makes you happy?"

"H-hyun Dae?" Y/N was taken aback from the sudden question. "Uhh, of course I am, hes my fiance, of course he makes me happy Tae,"

"Really? Then why did you stutter?" Taehyung still looks at her, straight into her eyes with his sharp gaze.

"I- I did not stutter! Whats wrong with you Tae? You are being weird. But not normal weird," Y/N starts to dust off the sand off her, preparing to get up. "Its getting late. We should go in,"

Taehyung grab her hands, standing up with her.

"Do you love him? Do you love Hyun Dae?"

"Why are you asking me that Tae? You are being weird!" Y/N tries to shake off his grip but he held on tighter.

"Answer the question Y/N. Do you love him?"

"Hyun Dae is amazing! He cares for me. He loves me. He knows what I like, sweet, romantic, p-"

"But do you love him?"

"I-I," Y/N stuttered. "I dont need to answer that!" Y/N tries to pull her hand again but to no avail.

"You cant answer it because you dont love him. And you cant lie to me," Taehyung smile.

"You are crazy. Let my hand go Tae," Y/N insisted. "It has nothing to do with you!"

"But it does Y/N. It does, because you dont love him. Because you love me," Taehyung state matter of factly. "You always did and you always will Y/N,"

Y/N was speechless, shocked, surprised, that Taehyung would bring it up again. Tears starts to sting her eyes. She has never felt more hummiliated. Is Taehyung making fun of her? Of her feelings? She thought they were friends again. Why is he doing this to her?

"Just let me go!"

"I cant, and I wont,"

"Why?!" Y/N is crying now. She dont understand why Taehyung is being this way. "To hummiliate me even more? To make fun of my feelings for you?"

"What? No!" Taehyung cant believe Y/N would think of him to be that cruel. But maybe he deserved it. "Because I love you Y/N!" Taehyung pull her hands, making her fall into his arms and he immediately cup her face and captured her lips with hers. The kiss has never felt more electricfying. Taehyung felt goosebump all over his body, he hears fireworks went off everywhere. And right at that moment, he knows that hes in love.

But the moment only last for a split second when Y/N, tears already spilled down her cheeks pushed him away hard and slapped him across the face.

"Get away from me Kim Taehyung!"

Was the last word she screamed out before she ran away into the darkness.

/////

Taehyung almost went crazy trying to finish the rest of the shooting. After that fateful night, Y/N took the earliest flight home the next morning, leaving Taehyung with no way to contact her at all. No reply to his texts or his calls and he cant even get away from his stupid schedule to find her at home. He was lost.

Its the very first time in his life that he has seen things so clearly. He is in love with Y/N. And she left him being so lost.

It also doesnt help that after Taehyung told Oraia that he wants to break up, his crazy ex girlfriend bombared his calls, his texts, his friends, even his manager with texts begging to take her back. She even went so far as to include the media, giving sad interviews, crying her eyes out. Taehyung wondered how he didnt notice how crazy Oraia is. Maybe its true what they said, love is blind. But what they had isnt love. It never was. They both know they got together just because they seemed to look perfect for each other. Thats not love, and Oraia is just mad that shes no longer one half of the industry perfect couple.

/////

"Hey Tae?" Yoongi knocks on his hotel room, peeking his head. Theres still a week left of shooting, but Taehyung's heart is no where in it. All he wanted to do is to go back home, find Y/N and begged for her forgiveness until she takes her back. Hes going to convince her that he loves her. He really do. And not because he pity her, or because hes jealous of her relationship with Hyun Dae, but because he just realized it now. That from that moment he asked her where the bathroom is, hes already in love. Y/N has already caught his eyes, and heart from that first night at the concert, but he is too busy chasing his fame and title to realized it.

And now it might be too late.

Taehyung might have already lost the love of his life, forever.

"Yeah hyung?" Yoongi make his way in and sit on Taehyung's bed.

"Did something happen between you and Y/N? Did she going back home early has anything to do with you?"

Taehyung looked at his hyung with tired eyes. No longer bother to pretend or curious why his hyung us asking.

I told her I love her...." Taehyung said, tears stinging his eyes at the memory. "And she thinks I'm just playing her,"

Yoongi sighed.

"Are you?"

Taehyung sits up and hugs a pillow, looking at Yoongi with teary eyes.

"No hyung. Of course not. I really do love her. I love her so much. Im just too stupid to realized it then," he sniffles. "And now, I have to wait until this stupid shoot is over to win her back hyung, because shes not answering my calls or my texts. And I swear hyung, I will do everything to win her back from that Hyun Dae,"

Yoongi sighs again, looking away before looking back at the younger man.

"Tae... Y/N is getting married today. She suddenly said she wants to get married as soon as possible, doesnt matter if its a small wedding. She just wants to get married. Today,"

Taehyung looked at his hyung, eyes widen, not believing what hes hearing.

"I-I have to go hyung," he suddenly gets up.

"Go where Tae? What are you doing?"

Taehyung grabs his bag, not thinking anymore.

"To stop the wedding hyung, to win back the love of my life,"

/////

Y/N looks at her reflection in the mirror. Even with last minute preparations, her mother managed to do everything perfectly. Her dress, her makeup, her hair, her flowers, even her dressing room is perfect. Y/N smile to her reflection. But she knows its only superficial. Its a smile she puts on to convince everyone, to convince herself, that shes making the right decision. The right choice.

That shes happy.

And she know Hyun Dae will make her happy.

He have to.

"Dont marry him,"

Y/N turns around to find Kim Taehyung by the door. His hair a mess, shirt crumpled, eyes bloodshot from crying.

"T-Tae..."

"Dont marry him Y/N," he move closer to her. "Dont do it. Please. Please Y/N,"

"Taehyung, what are you doing here?" Y/N feel tears prickling her eyes. Why is he here. Why now? Why today?

"To tell you I love you Y/N," Taehyung sniffles and take her hand. "T-to tell you to not marry him. Dont marry him Y/N,"

"I-I cant Tae," Y/N shakes her head. "Hyun Dae deserves all the happiness in the world. He treats me so good Tae,"

"Then what about you? You deserve happiness too. Happiness with me Y/N,"

Y/N close her eyes and shakes her head. Why is Taehyung telling her all the things shes dying to hear before? But its all too late now. Too late.

"Marry me Y/N. Marry me. And I'll make you the happiest woman in the world. Marry me," Taehyung sobs and kneel down on his knees, begging, hand still holding hers.

Y/N starts to shake, trying to hold in her tears but it rolled out anyway, flooding her face.

"D-dont do this to me Tae. You dont love me. You dont. You dont!"

"I love you Y/N. I love you I love you I love you! I know I realized it too late. And thats my mistake. But I swear to you, that I'll spend forever making it up to you," Taehyung begs desperately. He cant lose her. He cant! "Please. Please, dont marry him Y/N. Please..."

Y/N closes her eyes. Tears rolling down her face, no intention of stopping. She wanted to say yes. God, how she wanted to say yes. How easy it would be. To be with the man he love. The man he had dreamed of. But she cant. Its not fair to Hyun Dae. And its not fair to her. To her heart that Taehyung has broken to pieces.

"Im sorry Taehyung... I cant," Y/N let go of his hand, tears dropping on the floor, wetting her beautiful white dress.

Taehyung felt like his whole world shattered to pieces. Thats it. Just two words. "I cant" and he lost her. He lost the love of his life.

After felt like an eternity, he stood up, face still wet with tears but a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful Y/N," he smile. "You always do.

Y/N sobs hard, her whole body shakes.

"Be happy Y/N. Hes an idiot if he dont take care of you. If he hurt you like I do. Hes an absolute idiot," Taehyung smile and carressed her face softly. "Be happy my princess. And when the time comes, come back to me. I'll always be waiting Y/N, because you are my true love, and we will always find our way back to each other,"

Taehyung placed a long, deep kiss on her forehead, eyes closed as tears flows down, knowing he has lost the love of his life, trying to savor the feel of her in his memories.

"I love you Y/N. And I'll wait for you, forever," he smile one last time as he turns around and walk away, leaving Y/N drenched in her tears.

/////

5 YEARS LATER

"Woohoooo, last concert for this tour guys, good job!" The members high five each other as they make their way into the dressing room backstage. Taehyung laughs and make his way into his own personal room, exhausted from a show well done.

"Hi, do you know where the bathroom is?"

Taehyung stopped in his track at the sound of the voice. A voice so familiar. A voice that haunts his dream for years. A voice that he never forgets.

He looks up, and there she is. Smiling at him.

"Y-Y/N?"

Y/N nods, giggling.

"Y/N?!" Taehyung runs to her and engulf her in a hug. "I am not dreaming am I? A-are you really here?"

Y/N giggles again.

"Its me Tae. Real life me. Im real,"

"W-why? H-how?"

"Well, if Im not mistaken, 5 years ago, someone told me that we will always find our way back to each other. And that he will wait for me, forever. Im just checking if he still keeps his promise," Y/N grins.

Taehyung hugs her tight.

"You dont know how I dream of this day every single day Y/N. How I waited to see you again. To feel you again. To hear your voice again," Taehyung hugs her, not letting go.

"Ive come back Taehyung. Ive come back to you,"

Taehyung cant believe this is happening. Then he remembered something. And although its something hes dreading to ask, he knows he has to know.

"H-Hyun Dae?"

Y/N smile at his nervous state. She has never seen someone so adorable. God, shes just so in love with him.

"We were never married Tae. When you came that day... everything changed. I didnt marry him. I couldnt. Not when I know my heart belongs to you. And Hyun Dae... he knows it too. And he loves me enough to let me find my own happiness,"

"W-what?"

"Im sorry it took so long. But I need to find myself. To really understand my feelings, your feelings... but Im here now, Taehyung... if you still want me..."

Taehyung grins.

"Is that even a question my love?"

Y/N giggles at the way he calls her.

"I love you Y/N. Since that first night we met. I have been yours. Im sorry for hurting you. Im sorry for my mistakes. Im sorry fo-"

"Shhhh," she puts a finger on his lips. "It doesnt matter anymore Tae. All of it doesnt matter anymore," she smile. "Im here now. You are here now. And I, I love you Kim Taehyung,"

Taehyung grins. Such word has never felt so sweet. He felt happiness bubbling inside his chest. And in the first time in 5 years, he really mean it.

"I love you Y/N, my love, my soulmate,"

"I love you Taehyung. You really had me at bathroom," she giggles.

"Oh shut up," Taehyung laughs and lifts her up, wrapping her legs around him. "Just shut up and kiss me. Just kiss me baby,"

And she really did.

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