#omg I was looking through my drafts and there was just a ton of asks that never posted!!

[xkitfoxx]

11, 34, and 43! 💕 (Sorry I’m on my phone and they make copy pasting the questions unbearable 🫠)

11. Is pain a good thing?

Omg yess! I need at least a little bit to every time or honestly I can’t cu🙈

34. Would you let someone eat off of you?

I mean sure…but I can’t stay still for too long so there’s probably gonna be a mess

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?:

Both! But I guess if I had to choose rough

Also it’s okie I feel ya

#ask meh? #omg I was looking through my drafts and there was just a ton of asks that never posted!! #like wtfff

[dkfile]

golden hour

❛ you grab your milkshake and chug in hopes that the liquid is enough to drown the butterflies in your stomach. ❜

word count | 12.4k (12,449) genre | fluff, slice of life, best friends to lovers, summer vacation au ━ best friend!joshua

summer ends in less than a month, leaving you with a limited amount of time to build up the courage to profess your undying love for your best friend before he leaves again for college. alternatively the summer of pining, featuring a group of annoyed bystanders.

★ warnings | alcohol consumption, so much pining it’s ridiculous, little to no angst, i got lazy editing towards the end so if there’s mistakes please pretend they aren’t there ★ author’s note | i quite literally haven’t written anything since last year but i’ve been wanting to publish this for a while (this has been in my drafts since may 2021 and i didn’t finish it until this month omg), and since it’s a summer au i thought it’d be appropriate to publish it now

24 days before ━ Sunday, 12:30 A.M.

Minghao is holding a wine glass filled halfway with cola, paper straw dangling from his lips when he tells you that there’s no point denying the fact that you’re in love with Joshua.

“Everyone can tell, it’s obvious.” He hasn’t been meeting your gaze for the entirety of the conversation, and you can’t tell whether you’d rather him looking at you as he accuses you of becoming a victim to love (you poor thing), or narrowing his eyes at Chan as he attempts to dunk Soonyoung’s head into the water. “Even Seokmin can tell — Seokmin. He’s never going to be able to keep it a secret, by the way.”

“Oh, fuck you.” The venom on your tongue barely makes it past your teeth, and instead of your voice having a tone of finality (which you hoped would shut Minghao up), you only end up sounding frazzled. Which, frankly, you are, and it doesn’t help that the scratchy material of the pool chair is digging into your skin, refusing to make you feel comfortable. “I’m not in love with Joshua.”

“Sure, but you smile a fuck ton whenever he’s around,” Minghao takes a sip of his drink, a soft and refreshed ah falling from his lips before he continues, “people in love don’t do that.”

Your lips twist into a frown. “I smile a lot when I see Jun.”

“That’s different. Everyone smiles when they see Jun. Only you smile like an idiot when you see Joshua.” Before you can open your mouth to respond, Minghao shakes his head, “Don’t bother arguing, Y/N, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

You sigh, swinging your legs off the chair. “I’m gonna get a drink.”

As you slip your flip-flops on, Minghao asks if you can get him another soda. Instead of replying verbally, you flip him off and start your trek towards the cooler by the patio doors. It’s getting late into the night, and you’re sure all the good drinks are gone by now — everyone seemed to grab a can of cola earlier, and you think you saw Jun hog all of the coconut drinks for himself, which means the only beverages left are the juice boxes Seungcheol and Jeonghan bought.

You lean down to look through the drinks, and sure enough, a lone red box of apple juice sits in the corner of the cooler. You grab it before anyone else can, and when you stand to your full height, you see Joshua walking toward you in the corner of your eye.

His hair is wet and when he’s finally standing in front of you, you catch a whiff of chlorine.

“Is there anything left in there?” he asks. “Minghao asked me to get him something.”

Despite not getting a good look at the contents inside the cooler earlier, you reply with a begrudged, “Nope. Tell him the only cola we have left is what he has in his wine glass.”

Joshua raises an eyebrow, amused by the slight bite in your words. “You seem to be very angry with Minghao and his wine glass.”

“I’m not,” you say, doing an awful job at hiding the vexation in your voice. “I just don’t understand why he pours a can of soda into a cup.”

“You have to admit, it looks pretty sophisticated.”

“He’s drinking from a straw.”

“It’s cool, you’re just a hater,” Joshua shakes his head. The smile on his face falters for a moment when he takes note of the dry clothes you’ve been wearing for the entire night. “And a boring one, too. Have you been sitting on your ass this whole time?”

You shrug, picking at the material of the shirt you threw over your bathing suit. “Yeah. I don’t want to to drain all my energy tonight by fighting Jeonghan about the rules of water volleyball.”

He clicks his tongue in disappointment. “You know, when I asked you yesterday if you wanted to go midnight swimming with some friends, the invitation was to go midnight swimming with some friends, not kick back and bond with Minghao.”

“I wasn’t bonding with him, he was annoying me,” you wave your hand in the air in dismissal.

“About what?”

“Nothing important.”

Joshua frowns. “You’re hiding something.”

You scoff. “I’m not!

He ignores your protest, instead giving you a smile that causes your heart to squeeze in your chest as he moves to stand beside you. “OK, fine, let’s say you aren’t. But if you are, you know you can tell me. I’m amazing at keeping secrets.”

Rolling your eyes, you begin to walk back to the chairs, slowing your pace at the sight of your spot being occupied by an inebriated Jun, who seems to be running low on energy as his eyes begin to flutter shut. Joshua follows your movements, a low whistle leaving his lips.

“Will you go in the pool now?”

“What?”

“‘Cause Jun’s passed out in your chair,” Joshua says, gesturing towards your friend. “You finally have a chance to suck it up and get in the pool.”

You snort. “The only way you’re getting me into the water is by force.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Huh? No— get away from me!” you shriek, juice box slipping out of your hands as Joshua moves behind you, and in one swift motion, pushes you into the pool. Before the water muffles your hearing, you briefly hear Mingyu yelp in surprise as he tries to swim away, just in case your body collides with his.

When you swim up, gasping for air, the first thing you see is Joshua laughing as he crouches down by the poolside, harbouring the type of grin you know will hurt his gums if it stays on his face for too long. Behind you, you hear Seungkwan chastising you for getting into the pool without taking off the only dry clothes you have, but the only thing you can focus on is Joshua, sitting there with his skin glowing in the moonlight, and looking like he just walked off a magazine shoot (but you think he always looks at that).

You force yourself to look away at some point, knowing that if you stare too much without saying anything, he’ll figure out that being underwater wasn’t the only reason you’re feeling breathless.

23 days before ━ Monday, 1:15 A.M.

“Andrew Garfield or Tobey Maguire?”

“What?”

“We can’t watch Tom Holland’s Spider-Man movie because we’ve watched it too many times and Seungcheol told me it’s unhealthy to know word-for-word what Tony Stark says in Spider-Man: Homecoming, so—”

“No, shut up,” you interject, shaking your hand to halt any more words from falling out of Joshua’s mouth. “You promised me we would watch Pitch Perfect.”

Joshua inhales sharply. “Oh. I was hoping you forgot about that.”

“What the fuck?”

“We’ll watch it next time,” he offers, throwing his head back and turning it to face you. In the corner of your eye, you can see the ridiculous and adorable pleading seeping into his features, eyes soft, features tender because he knows looking at you like this is what gets you into the palm of his hands.

Being in love truly is the worst thing to ever happen to you.

You huff, tossing the remote onto his lap. “I hate you,” you say, admitting defeat, to which Joshua yells in triumph. He quiets down immediately after he remembers it’s late and his neighbours are probably asleep or having an existential crisis.

“You don’t,” he hums, victory tainting his lungs and causing a teasing lilt to appear in his tone, “We’ll watch Pitch Perfect next time, maybe with Soonyoung and Chan, you know how much they love singing along to movies like that.”

Sighing in slight disappointment, you say, “You said that last time and look where we are now.”

Joshua moves and takes his hand out from under the blanket. “I’ll actually go through with it! Here, let’s do a spit shake.”

“No!” you protest immediately, reaching over to bring his hand back down. “I’ll just take your word for it.”

He shrugs, squeezing your hand lightly before slipping out of your touch and taking the remote to search for the many varieties of Spider-Man movies in the search bar. His touch, however, still lingers when you slowly put your hand back on your lap.

Perhaps love truly does suck, but you can’t imagine feeling anything else for Joshua.

22 days before ━ Tuesday, 2:24 A.M.

The deafening noise of pop music berates your skull until the uproar is all you can think about. Any and all requests for Seokmin and Seungkwan — both running on adrenaline the cheap booze gives them — to turn down the music goes through one ear and out the other, but you’re sure they won’t be this energetic when the sun comes up in a few hours.

“How have they not passed out yet?” Chan shouts over the music. You can only hear him because he’s collapsed next to you, all of his energy long gone after his impromptu dance battle with Wonwoo on the dance floor.

“They’re drunk,” Vernon calls, voice barely audible. “Leave them be, they’re playing good music.”

“Christ,” Chan murmurs, struggling to get up on his feet. “You think Mingyu would care if I crashed here? There’s no way I’m letting my parents see me like this.”

You squint at him, fingers loosely grasping the rim of your plastic cup. “What, you’re going to sleep already? With all this noise?”

“Believe it or not, it’s easy to drown this out,” he replies dismissively, staggering towards the stairs after calling a lazy and exhausted, “G’night.”

Vernon is quick to take Chan’s spot, careless about the liquid splashing out of his cup from his swift movements.

You sigh, “There’s no way Chan’s going to be able to fall asleep when Seokmin and Seungkwan are having their own little karaoke session over there.”

Vernon shrugs and makes a comment about the unlimited energy they’ve had since birth before he starts talking about the latest show he’s been watching on Netflix. You barely hear anything he’s saying, and you don’t know if it’s because the racket has sunk its persistent teeth into your eardrums or because, for the first time since the party started, you spot Joshua in the sea of people.

He’s wearing a green sweater and shorts, not caring much for the almost unbearable heat in Mingyu’s living room as Seokmin grabs his hand and drags him over to the makeshift DJ booth. Seokmin pries the microphone from Seungkwan’s hands (but not without difficulty) and hands it over to a tipsy Joshua, cheeks flushed from the alcohol in his system.

“Hello, everyone, I’m Joshua,” he says into the mic, introducing himself and laughing when someone — Jeonghan, probably — shouts that everyone here already knows who he is, and people who don’t are likely not going to remember him by the time morning peeks its head over the horizon. “I’m gonna be singing Sunday Morning.”

“Oh, dude,” Seungkwan whines. “That’s not a party song — and it’s not even Sunday!”

“We need something a little more calm, don’t you think?” Joshua shrugs, expertly dodging Seungkwan’s attempts to get the mic back. “Besides, some people here are exhausted and want to sleep — look at Y/N!”

You jolt at the mention of your name, almost forgetting you’ve been staring at the stage. You straighten, pushing yourself off from the back of the couch and giving him the most genuine smile your worn-out self can muster.

“Let him sing, Seungkwan.”

You aren’t sure if they heard you, but nevertheless, Seokmin plays Joshua’s song. Eyes glazed and lips parted, your exhaustion refuses to let you care that care that you’re staring at Joshua in a way you know isn’t appropriate for a platonic relationship. You’re just about to drift into dreamland when Vernon nudges you out of your reverie.

He gives you a knowing look before bringing his cup to his lips. “When are you going to tell Joshua?”

“Oh, come on,” you huff, tearing your eyes off the DJ booth to look for Minghao. “What’d Hao tell you?”

“Nothing I didn’t already know before,” Vernon tuts like he’s almost disappointed you have these feelings in the first place (or because you’re less than willing to do anything about them). “You should tell him before the summer ends, otherwise someone else is going to fall in love with him and you’re going to beat yourself up for missing your chance.”

“Right,” you scoff. “You’re drunk, Vernon.”

“I’ve been drinking water this entire night. I’m driving people home later,” he corrects, unaware that you’ve already drowned out his voice, no longer wanting to hear what he has to say about your love life. “Besides, I think Joshua feels the same way about you.”

You aren’t sure if you hear him correctly, and your head is pounding too hard for you to care.

21 days before ━ Wednesday, 3:00 A.M.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

Joshua laughs, face illuminated by the glaring white light coming from the screen of his laptop. “Oh, that’s no way to talk to a friend.”

You pout. “A real friend wouldn’t wake me up at three in the morning to watch the new Conjuring movie,” you retort, keeping your voice low — something you hope you can do until the end of the movie because you’re sure your parents would not be happy to be woken up to you screaming because of something Joshua forced you to watch.

“We’re not watching The Conjuring,” he answers, leaning forward to search for the movie that’s bound to give you night terrors for at least a week. “We’re watching Fear Street. It’s a trilogy of mo—”

“We’re watching three movies?” you shriek. So much for staying quiet until the sun rises. “I didn’t sign up for that— Joshua, I’m so close to kicking you out right now.”

“You wouldn’t do that. It’s raining and Seungcheol would be incredibly pissed if he found out you got me sick,” he says. When he leans back against the headboard and looks at you, something dangerous sparks in his eyes. “Also you wouldn’t mind if I stayed the night, right? We’re all hanging out later, anyway.”

“Oh, yeah, karaoke, I almost forgot.” If you lose sleep tonight, there’s no doubt you’ll fall asleep while Seungkwan is belting out to Beyonce later, and the thought of having your guard down around Jeonghan is almost as terrifying as the horror movie category on Netflix. “Yeah, I don’t care, but you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“C’mon,” Joshua whines, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your breath hitches at the close proximity, “sleeping on your rug is itchy. I’m voluntarily protecting you from everything malicious during the witching hour and you repay me by making me sleep on the floor? What if the monster under your bed comes and—”

“OK, OK, OK,” you laugh, gently pushing him off you so you can breathe, ignoring how you can practically feel the absence of his breath against your cheek. “Fine, you can stay on the bed, but if you steal the blanket and I wake up freezing to death, then—”

“As if I would ever let you freeze to death,” Joshua scoffs. “Besides, it’s burning in here. If anything, you’d die from a heat stroke.”

“Oh, very comforting.”

Joshua cracks a grin. “I try,” he reaches over to pinch your cheek before saying, “Can we start the movie now?”

“No.”

“You can hold onto me whenever you get scared.”

“I’m going to be holding onto you for the entire thing, then.”

He shrugs. “That’s cool, I don’t mind.”

You have to clench your jaw to stop from smiling like an idiot and having him question the sudden change in your expression. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he confirms warmly, nearing his hand towards yours. When you finally take a hold of it, his expression becomes delicate, and you suddenly feel a slight fear of squeezing him too hard that you’ll break him. “Anything for you.”

You hope the universe loves you enough to ensure Joshua doesn’t notice your palms have gotten sweaty.

20 days before ━ Thursday, 4:54 A.M.

“Remember Spring Formal?”

You have to blink rapidly to wake yourself up, having almost fallen asleep after Joshua stopped talking a few moments ago. He called you in the middle of the night, saying sleep just wasn’t coming, and asked if you could stay on the phone with him until he got too exhausted to talk, but not without telling you that if you were tired he could just watch Netflix until the sun rose. You insisted on staying up for him because apparently, you’d do anything for love.

“Sorry?” you grumble, hoping your voice doesn’t sound as fatigued as you feel.

“Spring Formal, junior year. My mom made me wear that baby blue tie and took pictures of everyone standing on our porch as if it was graduation day or something.”

“Oh,” you murmur, the memories of the high school dance hit, and you’re suddenly springing to full consciousness. You remember Minghao teaching Chan how to breakdance on the dance floor, Jihoon and Jun leaving early because Mingyu somehow accidentally spilled all of the punch on them (which you assumed Jihoon and Jun were slightly thankful for since they didn’t seem to want to be there anyway), and Seungcheol asking you to go as his date because he (stupidly) wanted to make someone jealous. But most importantly, you remember Joshua — in his atrocious blue tie and wrinkled suit — avoiding you for the entire night.

You still wonder what you did to have him act like that, but that was one of the few things Joshua vowed to never tell you.

“Yeah,” Joshua says softly. “Do you remember?”

You hum. “Yeah. Why?”

“Nothing, I was just…” he pauses, and when you glance down at your phone screen, Joshua’s staring at his wall. His face is illuminated by the harsh light of his phone, but even with the lack of light, you can tell he’s pondering, which slightly concerns you since the worst type of pondering happens at this time of night. You know from experience. “I just remembered how horrible it was.”

You scoff out a laugh. “What?”

“I was so lonely,” he says. “I went to the dance alone, and I mean, I had Jeonghan and Soonyoung because they went stag too, but—”

“Didn’t you go to Winter Formal alone as well?”

“No, yeah, but that was by choice. For Spring Formal, I wanted—” he pauses again, this time more abruptly and it worries you. Before you have a chance to ask him to continue, he does so himself, “I wanted to go with someone and they were already going with someone else.”

A childish pang of hurt spreads throughout your chest. “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, they were…” he purses his lips as he searches for the right words, before he looks back towards the screen, something akin to surprise spreading across his face as if he forgot he was on a call with you. “They were nice.”

“Who was it?”

“Oh, you don’t know them.”

You frown. “It was kind of a small school, Joshua.”

“You didn’t know them,” he repeats before he starts to slide down until his head hits his pillow and he’s no longer leaning against the headboard. “I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight.”

“Goodn—” you say quickly as confusion tilts your lips downwards and the call is ended. Joshua’s face bright with blue light disappears in an instant, and everything is dark.

19 days before ━ Friday, 5:46 A.M.

You’re so used to the feeling of waking up voluntarily that you almost forgot the frustration that floods your body when you’re forced to be pulled out of sleep.

You hear Joshua kick something on your floor. “God, your room is a mess.”

Throwing the covers over your head and squeezing your eyes, you grumble. “It’s three in the morning.”

You half-hope that the clenching of your fists is enough to make Joshua disappear because as much as you enjoy the sound of his voice and the way his eyes crinkle into crescent moons when he smiles, there is nothing you hate more than waking up before your body is satisfied with the amount of sleep it’s gotten.

Early alarm clocks are for September, and August is nowhere near its end.

“It’s actually five a.m.,” Joshua corrects, still standing in your room and sounding like he has no intention of leaving. “Nice try, though.”

With an over-exaggerated groan, you peel the blanket off your head and glare at Joshua, who is staring out your window. “What do you want?”

“Hm, nice to see you too, Sleeping Beauty,” he hums with what sounds like sarcastic affection, but when he glances over at you, the tenderness in his expression is too warm to be fake. “Get up, we’ve got somewhere to be.”

You ignore his demand. “What time did you wake up?”

“Running on thirty minutes of sleep,” Joshua grins. “Which is why I need you. I don’t trust myself behind the wheel, so you’re driving.”

“Huh?” you blurt out. “Did you walk here? Your house is fifteen minutes away.”

“No, I called a taxi,” he shrugs, picking up your car keys and tossing them onto your bed by your feet. “Get off your ass, Y/N! It’s time for an adventure!”

You groan. “Call Jeonghan instead.”

“I’d rather hang out with you,” he says. Your heartbeat patters against your ribcage, and you find that his words have a tremendous effect on you, even if he just woke you up while exhaustion is tearing apart your seams. “Please? I’ll buy you coffee cake from that bakery by the mall.”

You sigh. “Fine.”

He smiles when you fully take off the covers. “Can’t believe you’re only doing this for cake.”

“I’m not,” you murmur truthfully. “I like hanging out with you.”

Joshua tilts his head, smile widening. “Aw—”

“But I prefer doing it when the sun is up.”

“The sun is up! Way to ruin the moment!”

18 days before ━ Saturday, 6:17 A.M.

Some people take photos to remember things. Joshua, on the other hand, makes Spotify playlists.

It’s because he has a nasty memory from seventh grade, where all the photos he took on his family’s road trip ended up being ruined from something spilling at the bottom of his backpack, and another memory of Soonyoung accidentally deleting everything from his camera roll the summer after that.

A picture can say a thousand words, but Joshua insists a photo doesn’t hold a candle to his 2018 me and chan just crashed jihoon’s car playlist (which consists of overplayed pop songs that Joshua shudders to when he hears them because that chilly autumn night in 2018 is something he does not want to relive).

“Tomorrow’s Sunday,” he muses into the dead of night while you’re lying in his backyard.

“I’m aware.”

“No, I—” his eyebrows furrow and he flips his phone so you’re staring at his screen. “Why’d you put Sunday Morning on here?”

The two of you had driven around town a few hours after hanging out with Seokmin and Minghao at their new jobs at the arcade, and Joshua somehow managed to convince you to create a Spotify playlist on his phone even though you’re prone to carsickness. One glance at a device while a vehicle is moving and your head just starts killing you.

But, Joshua had argued when you protested, I want to remember today.

“Oh, I added it because it’s your favourite song, and it was a good day, right?” you say a little dismissively. “Now whenever it plays, you’ll think of me.”

Joshua straightens. “That’s nice of you,” he whispers. “I hope you don’t expect me to put your favourite song in this playlist, though. Your taste in music is horrible.”

“OK, what the fuck?” you scoff, squinting at him. “That was so uncalled for!”

“I was just telling the truth!”

“I literally hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Oh, I definitely do.”

“OK,” he grins. “Sure. I’ll take your word for it then.”

17 days before ━ Sunday, 7:57 A.M.

You could never get sick of Joshua.

The moment the thought pops in your head, you realize it’s cheesy. You suppose you can blame all of your corny thoughts as symptoms of puppy-dog lovesickness, but no amount of denial will change the fact that you will truly never get sick of Joshua Hong.

Your feelings for him came like razor-sharp teeth. They bit into your heart, scarred the flesh, and the marks never healed.

This is why you’re up before you even have to be, sitting on Minghao’s back porch while your best friend goes through his supposed ‘well-thought-out plan’ to get Jeonghan back for the countless pranks he pulled on everyone a few weeks ago. However, Joshua’s well-thought-out plan consists of watching a bucket of ice melt.

“This is the best you could think of?” you mutter disapprovingly. “There’s no way all of this is melting before everyone wakes up.”

“Don’t be such a pessimist,” he tuts, “and also I was scared he was gonna wake up if I turned on the tap.”

“Oh my God.”

“What? I have to be careful.”

You pout, rubbing your eyes to get rid of the sleep. “And why do I have to be up for this?”

“Because I love you,” he says casually, and because he has always been the type to drop affectionate comments like this with no regard for what it does to your heart. But then, as if he notices the surprise piercing through your features, he adds, “and also ‘cause this bucket is too heavy to carry by myself.”

You smile nevertheless, finding the slight flush in his cheeks endearing and decide that flustering Joshua is probably better than being asleep upstairs on the floor of Minghao’s bedroom, where the rug is too itchy and the blanket is too small to share with Mingyu.

Later, though, you realize that it’s probably best to think twice before getting involved in one of Joshua’s schemes (or, you know, double-check what pyjamas Jeonghan was wearing before dumping a bucket of ice-cold water on poor, innocent Jihoon).

16 days before ━ Monday, 8:19 A.M.

The kitchen reeks. A total of six burnt pancakes lie on two separate plates, three on each, meant for Jeonghan and Minghao since they couldn’t stop laughing at you and Joshua’s failed attempt at a prank yesterday. Minghao didn’t even care that you got his floors wet because Jihoon’s hostile expression added ten years to his lifespan.

The plan was to just make breakfast for Jihoon, but apparently, pancakes are harder to make than you thought (truth be told, you got distracted several times, but it’s your fault for allowing yourself to be easily entranced by Joshua Hong), so the burnt ones are going to Jeonghan and Minghao. Jeonghan, for always being a menace, and Minghao, for being an incredibly bad host.

After what feels like an infinite amount of attempts at cooking, you and Joshua have managed to make two decent pancakes before Jihoon wakes up to the smell of burnt breakfast. After high-fiving your best friend in success, you sit on one of the barstools and grab an apple from the bowl of fruit sitting in the middle of the kitchen island.

“So,” you begin as Joshua rests his elbows on the surface opposite you. “Are you and Vernon done stealing my snacks for your road trip back to university?”

Joshua grins cheekily. “Probably not. We’ve still got, what, a little over two weeks before we’re supposed to head back? There’s still time to raid your pantry until it’s completely empty.”

“You’re richer than me. Buy your own food.”

He pouts. “I like the stuff you buy, though.”

“You can get Pringles anywhere, Joshua.”

“But still.”

You blink. “But still what?”

He shrugs. “I like getting them from you.”

“But why?”

“God, you ask a lot of questions, don’t you?”

Your eyes narrow, but before you can even argue with him about how the closest Walmart is a ten-minute walk from his house, Jihoon barges in with a bedhead and a scrunched nose.

“Oh, you guys are OK. I thought for a second you burned the house down.”

You shake your head, momentarily distracted from your conversation with Joshua. You don’t see him heave a silent sigh of relief. “No, but we made you breakfast!”

Jihoon blinks. “Are you going to poison me?”

Joshua scoffs. “We would never do that!”

"I don’t believe you— hey, get away from me!”

“They’re good pancakes!”

“Joshua, if you shove that thing down my mouth I swear I will kick you in the nuts so hard—”

“Whoa, I thought we were friends—”

“Not if you don’t get your grimy hands off me!”

15 days before ━ Tuesday, 9:48 A.M.

“Since when were you guys going camping?”

You’re shoving a towel into your already-full duffel bag when Joshua pops the question. You heard him happily talking to your parents five minutes before he came upstairs and leaned against your doorframe, and in those five minutes, someone must’ve told him you’re leaving the comfort of your own bed for three days with Seungkwan, Chan, Seokmin, and Seungcheol because he’s staring at you like you did something wrong. Cue the accusatory statement in three, two...

“And why didn’t you invite me?”

There it is.

“You hate camping.”

“I do not.”

“Oh, come on, Joshua,” you say exasperatedly, “I know you better than I know myself.”

He throws you a look of annoyance, but you’re right and he knows it. You’ve known him for a decade, and in those past ten years, you’ve learnt his faults, memorized his flaws, noticed the little things, scrawled his fears and his habits and stored them in a file cabinet in the back of your mind.

You have known him since he was twelve, held his hand when he needed you most, loved him for most of his life even though he thought you would get sick of him by fourteen.

You love him. And you know him.

But he tries to convince you otherwise.

“And when Seungkwan asked you if you wanted to come last week, you said no,” you add.

“That’s different, I didn’t know you were—” he cuts himself on. “Doesn’t matter. I changed my mind. When are you guys leaving?”

“Tomorrow. But Joshua—”

“Just tell Seungkwan I’m coming,” he interrupts and sends you a teasing, albeit tight, smile, “C’mon, summer vacation is almost over. Is it a crime that I want to spend the rest of it with you?”

You pause. “With just me?”

He waits a beat, registers your words, then straightens his spine. “And everyone else.”

“Right.”

He has no idea the type of effect he has on you.

“OK,” you nod, reaching for your phone on your bed. “I’ll tell Seungkwan.”

Joshua beams and your heart stutters.

14 days before ━ Wednesday, 10:32 A.M.

“Guys, Chan’s drooling on my shoulder!”

“Would you stop whining?”

“But it’s disgusting!”

“Joshua, Seungkwan, shut up.”

This camping trip was a mistake.

The van you guys rented is big enough, though, that you’re not all squished together with your stuff, but it doesn’t prevent loudness and arguments. You’re sitting in the back with Seokmin playing an oddly competitive game of Pictionary while Joshua and Chan sit in the middle row. Seungkwan’s in the passenger seat (“I am not handing over the music privileges to you guys. What kind of person do you think I am?”) while Seungcheol suffers in the driver’s seat, begging everyone to stay quiet so he doesn’t get distracted while driving.

Seungcheol prays to himself that the energy in everyone’s system will eventually dwindle into nothing in the next hour or so because the shouts coming from you and Seokmin mixed with Joshua’s complaints and Seungkwan’s favourite Girls’ Generation song are causing Seungcheol’s ears to ring. If he knew the trip to the campsite would be this unbearable, he would never have come.

Chan eventually awakens, scowling at everyone for being so rowdy, and asks Seungcheol to stop at the nearest gas station so he can use the bathroom.

When Seungcheol pulls up at the Shell gas station—but not without difficulty, since Seungkwan and Chan were arguing about which exit to take—Joshua jumps at the chance to negotiate with Seokmin about the seating arrangement.

Seokmin immediately shakes his head. “No way. Y/N and I have to finish this game in order to declare the Pictionary champion.”

“But Chan drools,” Joshua argues helplessly.

“So? I don’t want to get drooled on either. Just sit back here.”

“But then I’ll feel bad if I leave him alone,” he says. “Come on. I’ll let you use my sleeping bag.”

Seokmin perks up. “The good one?”

Joshua winces. You can see him regretting the bargain already. Whenever you lend Seokmin anything, he always gives it back in a worse condition. “Yes.”

“And all your mini KitKats.”

“What? No—”

“If you want,” you interrupt, “I can just sit with Chan.”

Joshua shoots down your suggestion immediately. “Nah, I want to sit with you,” he turns back to Seokmin. “Fine, I’ll give you my bag of mini KitKats. But only if you share some with me.”

“Deal!” Seokmin smiles, clumsily making his way to the middle row of the van, followed by Joshua climbing over the seats to sit next to you.

“Hi,” he says a little breathlessly. His eyes shine with excitement.

“Hi,” you reply. “Was sitting with Chan really that bad?”

“No,” he responds. He leans back, throwing his head against the headrest before turning slightly to meet your gaze in the corner of his eye. With a lazy smile, he adds, “But I’d rather be back here.”

“Aw, you love me.”

“No, there’s just more room here,” he scrunches his nose. “You just happen to be here, too.”

You snort and shake your head, deciding not to reply. When you glance out the window, you see Seungkwan and Chan chasing each other outside the station while Seungcheol’s inside paying for their stuff.

You stifle a laugh and take your phone out to record your friends, unbeknownst to the fact that Joshua’s staring at you with the smallest of smiles on his face.

13 days before ━ Thursday, 11:16 A.M.

The sun beats down on your back and covers you in so many layers of warmth you think you might collapse due to the heat. If you listen closely, you can hear the boys swimming down the lake; Seokmin screams as Seungcheol dunks his head in the water, Chan’s laughter, and Seungkwan’s shouts. You’re slowly starting to regret not going there with them, but all it takes is one glance at Joshua swatting away mosquitoes and those thoughts are forgotten.

You ignore his grunts of frustration as you try and set up the grill that’s on the campsite. Eventually, he grows tired of the lack of attention he’s receiving from you and snaps his fingers in front of your face before complaining, “Why’d I let you convince me to come to this thing?”

His statement elicits a gasp to fall from your lips. “Me? Convince you to come to this?” you repeat incredulously. “Don’t pin this on me! You were the one that was pouting about not being invited—”

“But you should know me well enough to tell me not to come.”

“Please tell me you’re fucking with me right now.”

He sighs. “Sorry,” he says. “You’re right, I’m just— this might actually be, like, the worst decision of my life.”

You snort. “You’re so overdramatic.”

“You would be acting like this too if mosquitoes were sinking their mouths into your skin and sucking you dry of blood,” he says, flicking something off his shoulder while you peacefully grab the hotdogs and place them on the grill. “These things are out to kill me, Y/N. I’ll either be dead or swollen with bites by the end of this trip.”

“I’m sure you’ll still look cute with fifty million mosquito bites on your face,” you coo. The next thing he swats away is your hand reaching over to pinch his cheek. “Or, if that doesn’t work out, just sweep the people off their feet. Surely the bugs aren’t sucking away your charm, too, right?”

“Ha ha,” he deadpans. “You’re so funny. I’m not gonna be flirting with anyone if my face is gonna be red from all the itching.”

“It’s not like you’ve been flirting with anyone this summer, anyway. Unless—” you gasp dramatically, placing a hand to your chest as if a lightbulb just went off above your head, “Do you have a significant other that you’re hiding from me, Joshua Hong?” When Joshua doesn’t react to your joke, merely staring at you blankly, your smile falters. “Joshua?”

He clicks his tongue before shaking his head. He looks at you like you’re the weird uncle at Thanksgiving who doesn’t know how to read a room. You feel like you’ve missed something, a memo of some sort, or that you’ve said something wrong, but before you have a chance to ask if everything’s alright, Joshua heaves a sigh, “You really are something, aren’t you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I’m not dating anyone, you idiot, otherwise you would know,” he scoffs, then crosses his arms. “How about you? Hiding anyone from me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you turn your back on him to check on the hotdogs. “I’ve been hanging out with you every second this summer, d’you really think I’d be able to hide something that big for so long? The closest thing I’ve had to romance this past year is the stupid blind dates Seokmin forces me to go to.”

When Joshua speaks, his voice sounds slightly strained and nervous,  “And did any of them go well?”

“Nope,” you answer as you turn around. “Each one was a total failure. Anyway, are you just going to stand there or are you going to at least help set up this lunch? I’m not a servant, Hong.”

Joshua rolls his eyes but you spot a hint of a smile when he goes to grab the hotdog buns and condiments.

12 days before ━ Friday, 12:39 P.M.

Yesterday, after Seokmin got back from swimming, he was staring at you and Joshua with a knowing grin, eyes shining with mischief. Later that night, he asked if anything happened—from the vibes he got from both of you, he assumed something did, and when you only stared at him in annoyance, he sighed and exasperatedly asked if you and Joshua were a thing now.

“Absolutely not!” you had cried. “Seokmin, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Minghao told me you guys were on the brink of entering a relationship—”

“That fucking loudmouth—”

“Whoa!” Seokmin exclaimed, “Don’t talk about Minghao like that!”

Now, Seokmin has taken it upon himself to force you and Joshua together. He suggested you both head down to the tiny convenience store on the campsite to get food for everyone. You’ve become victim to another Lee Seokmin Set-Up

And you’re pissed.

Joshua’s been sending you concerned looks ever since the both of you began your walk to the store, but he tries to fill the silence with bad jokes and stories about the outlandish adventures he and Vernon got themselves into during college. When his attempts to get you to talk are fruitless, he corners you in the chips aisle, almost scaring you half to death when he sneaks up on you

You can feel the warmth of his body and your hands begin to sweat.

“Alright,” he begins with slight irritation, “will you tell me what’s going on with you?”

Stupidly, you blink. “Huh?”

“You’re being really weird,” he says. “You won’t talk to me. You’ve been sulking. Did something happen in the past few hours that I completely missed or—?”

“I’m fine,” you scoff, pushing Joshua away. He doesn’t falter, though, and follows you as you squeeze past two middle schoolers to get to the candy aisle. “Minghao just got into Seokmin’s head. They think they know me so well all of a sudden.”

Behind you, Joshua clicks his tongue. “Can you elaborate?”

You sigh. “Minghao and Seokmin talk. Seokmin decides to play Cupid.”

“What, like he’s gonna set you up on a date?”

You look at Joshua. He stares back, waiting for an answer, and then you shrug. “Sure, yeah.”

“Like with someone back at college?”

You, Seokmin, and Minghao go to the same university—it’s about an hour or so away from your hometown, so it’s not that far away. There, almost everyone knows Seokmin, which means everyone knows you as the friend Seokmin’s always setting up dates for. It’s a reputation you don’t want but he insists on upholding it.

Joshua, who goes to school across the country, hears about your failed blind dates every once in a while. You don’t tell him every date you’ve been on, in fear of annoying him, but you’re sure he somehow hears about them from Seokmin, anyway.

His eyes flicker when the topic is brought up. He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, crosses his arms over his chest, and stares at you, waiting for an answer. It’s intimidating, but when you dismiss the topic with a shake of your head and a simple—

“...Uh, sure. Yeah. But I’m not going through with it.”

—his alarming demeanour deflates. Disappears so fast you can’t even comment on it.

Sometimes, you like toying with the idea that maybe Joshua might like you back. It’s the gentle touch of his fingers and the way the corners of his lips lift at one of your jokes. It’s the way he acts, the way he looks at you, that makes you believe that you have a chance.

But then the fear crawls in. The second-guessing. And you shake every thought away.

You give Joshua a weak smile. “Come on, let’s get going before Chan starts complaining we took too long.”

11 days before ━ Saturday, 1:27 P.M.

Apparently, the best time to go bowling is three hours after you, Joshua, Seungcheol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Chan have arrived home from the camping trip. In an attempt to get everyone to come, Soonyoung says to think of it as the last hurrah before your last year as undergrads, and when you say that you’d rather stay home, Soonyoung tells Joshua to drag you along anyway.

So, here you are.

It’s surprisingly more fun than you expected. In the beginning, your exhaustion is easy to ignore, especially since everyone’s decided to ditch the traditional rules of bowling. Mingyu gets down on his stomach and pushes his ball towards the pins with all the strength he can muster but it only ends up in the gutter; when everyone in your lane laughs, Mingyu rolls his eyes playfully and reminds them that he’s still winning.

Jihoon scoffs from beside you. “Only by, like, three points!”

Mingyu sticks his tongue out at him.

However, as more rounds of bowling pass, the more evident your fatigue becomes—noticing this, Jeonghan decides to raise the stakes for the last game. Whoever loses, he declares, has to buy lunch for the friend group tomorrow, and just like he predicted, all your friends perk up. Competition ignites the adrenaline in everyone’s bodies and motivates them to do well. After all, who wants to lose their money?

But the adrenaline isn’t enough for you.

You just have to knock three pins down and you’ll have a chance of coming in any place but last. But you mess up and miss. The chance of getting a spare disappears.

You groan as you turn around, meeting Joshua’s eyes as he stands up for his turn. He’s the last one, and you’re sure that his impeccable aim will be the cause of the dent in your bank account tomorrow. He squeezes your shoulder when you pass by him and throws you one of his encouraging smiles before letting go and walking towards the alley.

Slumping into the spot beside Vernon, you frown and ignore his sympathetic pat on your shoulder. You almost can’t bring yourself to watch Joshua, but it’s always been difficult for you to take your eyes off him—he draws you in like a moth to a flame. You watch the flick of his wrists, notice how he drops the ball too early, and you stare at the bowling ball as it drifts closer and closer to—

“GUTTER!” Seokmin exclaims so loudly you jump.

While everyone stands to celebrate, you stay seated, waiting for the inevitable moment when Joshua will turn and look for you. And when he does, he shrugs, as if it’s no big deal, and he’s pulled away as Jeonghan slings an arm over his shoulder and drags him towards the counter where everyone goes to return their bowling shoes

On your way to the exit, you think you hear Vernon mutter something to Joshua in front of you—“You fumbled that on purpose, didn’t you?”—but the chance to ponder Vernon’s murmured words is taken away from you when Joshua glances over his shoulder, grins at you, and asks if you need a ride home.

“Yeah,” you say softly, “that’d be nice.”

Vernon gives you a knowing look as Joshua drags you towards his car.

10 days before ━ Sunday, 2:09 P.M.

The first time you meet Joshua, you’re both at Denny’s.

You’re dressed head-to-toe in patterns that don’t compliment each other—your mom still insists on calling you a fashionista every time she shows the photos at family gatherings—and he’s paired a Pikachu shirt with baggy khaki shorts. Even at eleven, wearing mismatched socks and a haircut he’ll soon grow to regret, Joshua oozes charisma. He’s popular amongst his peers, loved by his teachers, adored by his neighbours.

And you’re afraid of him.

Only slightly. You’ve seen him around while walking with your mom at the park. He’s always with his rather large group of friends: a band of loud, boisterous, and mischievous boys. You make sure to steer clear from them, in fear that your mother will force you to introduce yourself. She’s worried about you. The move to this new town has been anything but easy, and she wants you to spend the summer before eighth grade with people your own age. She doesn’t want you to be alone.

But you’re only alone for a few weeks. Because Joshua Hong speaks to you for the first time when you’re picking up lunch for your family.

Altogether, his friends take up two booths—you’ve noticed that they’re always together. Brothers, attached to the hip—but he stands to the side while he waits for his milkshake. He gives you a polite smile when you stand near him after giving your order, the change in your pocket making faint clinking noises whenever you move a muscle.

“Hi,” he says after a few moments. “You just moved to the neighbourhood, right?”

You blink thrice before realizing he’s talking to you. “Um.”

“Small town,” he briefly explains, “you kind of find out the latest news quickly, even if you’re not paying much attention. Anyway—I’m Joshua.”

“Oh,” you say, hesitantly shaking his hand. “I’m Y/N.”

“Cool,” he says, not unkindly. Despite the awkward tension clogging the air, he grins. “Since you’re new here, you should hang out with me and my friends! We can show you around, give you an exclusive tour. All expenses paid.”

“Oh. That sounds nice—”

“We don’t bite,” he interrupts. “Well, except Soonyoung. But he only does that sometimes.”

“Well. That’s nice of you to offer, but—”

“C’mon!” he says. There’s a certain way he says things. Gentle and kind. Nothing you’d expect from a boy your age. “It’ll be fun!”

Despite yourself, you give him an uneasy smile. “OK. I will.”

“Awesome! Here, this is my house’s phone number…”

You meet Joshua at Denny’s. The same one you and your friends are currently occupying (well, more like disturbing. You’re bound to be kicked out soon for how loud you’re being).

Given the fact that Joshua is about to enter his last year of college and he’s extremely broke, everyone gave him the benefit of the doubt after he lost the bowling game yesterday. It’s only fair that, if he’s paying for lunch, he gets to choose where to eat—and he chose his cheapest option.

You volunteered to share your plate of fries with him so he doesn’t have to buy a meal for himself. You’ve never seen him look so thankful.

The current topic of conversation revolves around humiliating middle school memories and Jeonghan has brought up rather incriminating videos of tween Joshua Hong. Everyone bursts into laughter so loud that the waitresses are side-eyeing your table, but the group can’t seem to bring themselves to care. Chatter overlaps. Seungcheol talks about his high-pitched voice. Mingyu talks about his outfit. Chan imitates his actions.

And as you’re about to point out how worryingly upset Joshua got over a game of basketball in Soonyoung’s driveway, your best friend catches your eye, and the laughter climbing up your throat halts—a few stuttered chuckles pass your lips and disappear into the air with your friends’ digs and comments. Nobody notices you falter.

But you don’t blame them. It’s subtle, the way your face softens once your eyes meet Joshua’s, and the only person who seems to have noticed the slight change in your behaviour is him. His lips quirk up as if this was the reaction he was expecting—as if he caught your eye on purpose just to see you fumble.

Your heart stutters.

You grab your milkshake and chug in hopes that the liquid is enough to drown the butterflies in your stomach.

9 days before ━ Monday, 3:53 P.M.

You hate grocery shopping. Being in a grocery store is the equivalent of getting sucked into a black hole with no hope of getting out. But alas, Mingyu needs food for the barbecue he’s hosting at his house tomorrow, and the people he recruited for his late afternoon Walmart adventure is you and Joshua. He believes the two of you will get the job done quickly.

He’s incredibly wrong.

In order to be efficient, everyone has split up. Like Mingyu, you’re hoping to get this over and done with quickly, but the list of foods he’s given you is written in an unforgiving chicken scrawl. You’ve managed to make out cheese, milk, and UNSALTED butter, but, unfortunately, the last item on the list isn’t so easy to crack. You’ve been staring at it for three minutes.

As your brain attempts to decode Mingyu’s writing, you don’t notice Joshua sneaking up behind you. He’s been calling your name for the last ten seconds, hoping you’d be able to know the different types of pasta he’s holding in his hand. But you don’t respond. He frowns in frustration and taps your shoulder, startling you so badly that it causes you to lose your footing.

God, you didn’t even see the bright yellow wet floor sign until now.

Joshua catches you. The pasta he was previously holding falls to the ground.

For what feels like an eternity, he stares, eyes flickering over your face like he’s trying to take in every detail. In all the years you’ve known him, you’ve never been this close to him before. You can spot faint freckles on the bridge of his nose, you can count the number of eyelashes on each eye, you study the curve of his Cupid’s bow.

“HEY!”

And then Joshua drops you.

Not even five seconds later, Mingyu’s towering over you as you lay on the floor.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” he scolds. He doesn’t even let you guys reply before he’s shaking his head in what seems to be disappointment. “I’ve been scouring the aisles trying to find you two, and when I do find you, you’re staring into each other’s eyes. Jesus. Can’t you do that some other time?”

When you glance at Joshua, he’s redder than a tomato.

8 days before ━ Tuesday, 4:30 P.M.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think the entire town was currently in Mingyu’s backyard.

Your parents are around here somewhere, mingling with other attendees of the barbecue, unlike you, who’s chosen to lounge in the poolside chairs with Minghao instead. You two have been sitting in silence for a while, thoroughly entertained by the highly competitive arm-wrestling match a few feet away, and you almost forgot Minghao’s next to you until he says, “We have seven days until they leave, you know.”

Your eyes flit over to Joshua and Vernon, who are talking to Jihoon’s parents. In a week, the two boys will be making their way back to university, and you’ll only be able to contact them online. And even then, you still have to navigate around timezones and each other’s schedules—so, all in all, keeping in touch is going to be a headache.

It’s comedic how often you go through this routine. For the entire school year, you try to stop Joshua from lingering in the crevices of your mind, but all effort goes to waste once summer vacation begins. When you’re both back at home, all memory of the frustratingly laggy FaceTime calls and missed text messages is thrown out the window. For two months, the feelings you hoped disappeared come crawling back, attaching to you like a leech; marking your soul.

This is what happened last year. And the year before that. And then the year before that.

Minghao speaks again. “When are you going to tell him?” he asks. “Because I, for one, can’t watch you pine over him forever. At some point, this has to end.”

“You know it’s not that easy,” you murmur. “I can’t lose him.”

“Oh, please,” Minghao scoffs as you catch Joshua’s eye. He grins brightly and lifts his hand up to wave, “pigs will start flying before you lose Joshua Hong.”

7 days before ━ Wednesday, 5:39 P.M.

Nerves dance across your skin when the afternoon reaches its end. Joshua’s kicking people out of his house when you catch the mischievous glint in Minghao’s eyes and the way he and Seokmin look at each other while they’re slipping on their shoes. Like there’s an inside joke you don’t know about.

They’re plotting something.

“So!” Seokmin exclaims once he’s tied his shoelaces. Joshua gives him his full attention after shouting curses at Seungcheol for stepping on the newly done front yard. “Thanks for hosting movie night, Joshua.”

“It was more like movie afternoon,” he corrects before narrowing his eyes, “but you’re welcome? Why are you acting so weird?”

“I have absolutely no idea what you mean!”

“You’ve never thanked me for anything before—” he says suspiciously, “and you sound so chipper.”

Minghao hums. “What a strange comment. Seokmin is always chipper.”

“I know, but—”

“Anyway,” Minghao interrupts, “We better get going. I need to drive Seokmin over to the dentist for an appointment and we’re running late. Y/N, I know I promised to give you a ride home, but I can’t anymore. You’ll be fine, right? Joshua’s got you?”

Too late, you realize what they’re doing.

Your jaw drops. “Wait, what?”

Minghao’s already pushing Seokmin out the door when he adds, “Plus, you can tell him that thing we talked about yesterday!”

Joshua frowns. “What thing?”

“The thing!”

“MINGHAO.”

He grins, evil and malicious. “See you tomorrow!” he exclaims. Seokmin cries out a goodbye too, but not without wiggling his eyebrows. You watch in shock as the two boys stumble down the driveway in laughter before splitting off—Minghao to his car, and Seokmin to his.

Behind you, Joshua says, “I thought Minghao said he needed to drive Seokmin to the dentist?”

You scowl. “Those bi—”

Joshua taps your shoulder, forcing you to turn around and look at him. He stares at you with a look of concern that causes the butterflies in your stomach to flutter.

“What did you need to tell me?”

“What?”

“Minghao said you had a thing,” he says, crossing his arms while you stand by the doorframe. All it takes is one step back and you’ll be outside, free from the situation your friends have pushed you into. But you wouldn’t be able to make it far. Joshua’s faster than you are—more persistent than you are. From the look on his face, he’s desperate to know what it is you’re hiding from him.

Oh, this is terrible.

You try to throw him off. “It’s nothing important.”

Joshua scoffs. “Bull. I know when you’re lying to me.”

A sigh escapes your lips. “Joshua—”

“C’mon,” he crosses his arms over his chest, “I’ve known you for ten years. Nothing fazes me. I was there for your goth phase, I’ve seen you at rock bottom and I’ve stuck by you despite the fact that you like putting pineapples on your pizza even though I believe it should be considered a felony. So just tell me! How bad could it possibly be, because it can’t be as bad as that time you—”

“I like you.”

His smile drops momentarily. “What?”

You swallow your pride. “I like you.”

Time ticks by slowly. You don’t know how long the two of you stand there. You don’t know how long he stays silent. Faintly, you think you hear the sound of a passing car and the chirping of birds, but you can only focus on Joshua. All you can ever focus on is Joshua.

Please speak, please speak, please speak, please say something, please speak, please please please please—

“I’m sorry, I—” he stops himself. “I d— I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Oh.”

“I’ve just— it’s risky, Y/N.”

You frown, unsure of the point he’s trying to make. “Huh?”

“It’s—” he sighs. Stops himself. Then: “It’s not a good idea.”

“My feelings aren’t a good idea?”

“That’s definitely not what I meant. I just think that we have a good thing going, you know?” he says with an awkward smile on his face. “Me and you, best friends.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Y/N—”

“I should probably get going.”

“What— are you walking? No, let me drive you.”

“It’s a short walk, Joshua.”

He reaches for his keys. “No, it’s really not—”

“Joshua.” He freezes, hand lingering on the doorknob. He’s only a foot away from you, but you feel like you’re suffocating. Taking a step back isn’t enough to relieve yourself. You need to be able to breathe. You need more space.

You need to get away from him.

You sniff. “I’d rather walk.”

When you turn to leave, he doesn’t bother to follow.

6 days before ━ Thursday, 6:42 P.M.

stayc girls it’s going DOWNNNN groupchat members: you, minghao, seokmin

seokmin: y/n!!! everyone’s at the diner right now, are you coming?????

you: not today you: busy ): sorry

minghao: “busy” doing WHAT? you’ve been doing nothing all summer minghao: lie better

you: 👎

minghao: come onnnnn joshua’s here ;) ;)

you: sorry. maybe next time i’m really tired

seokmin: you just said you were busy

you: i can be BUSY and TIRED at the same time

seokmin: hmph seokmin: you better be coming next time

you: ofc

“Hey, Shua!”

Joshua, whose fingers linger over the keyboard on his phone, looks up. Minghao’s staring him down like he should be scared.

“What happened with Y/N last night?”

5 days before ━ Friday, 7:00 P.M.

joshua: hi joshua: sooooo joshua: i know ur mad at me and im really sorry. i understand why ur avoiding me but i don’t want that to stop you from hanging out with everyone joshua: so just a heads up: i’m not coming to karaoke tonight. you don’t have to worry about seeing me

Friday, 7:58 P.M.

joshua: damn i really thought you’d fall for that and show up 👎 joshua: i know i messed up big time but can we please just talk? i didn’t handle things well on wednesday, but can i explain why? joshua: you don’t owe me anything but i really need you to hear me out joshua: please, y/n

4 days before ━ Saturday, 8:19 P.M.

What do you do if your best friend doesn’t like you back? You avoid him at all costs.

What do you do if avoiding him results in you also avoiding your other friends? What do you do when they call you out on it?

You reluctantly allow them to drag you into their late-night adventures, becoming an accomplice to their shenanigans.

What do you do if the aforementioned adventures force you to face the best friend whose existence you’ve been trying to forget?

You suck it up.

A game of hide-and-seek in the park quickly sours your mood when your hiding spot in the small crevice under the playground is invaded by Joshua. He has plagued your mind for years on end, slashed your heart in two, and here he is again, violating your personal space. It is only when he settles across from you that he realizes he’s coincidentally ended up hiding with you, and upon sensing your annoyance he mutters a haste but sincere apology.

In the distance, you hear Seungcheol finish counting and only five seconds later you hear him shriek before shouting at Vernon about how immoral it is to scare him when it’s this dark outside.

Mind you, the sun only started to set ten minutes ago.

There’s minimal room in here. Joshua’s head hangs low because if he sits at his full height, he’ll bang his head against the platform above him. You’ve both pulled your knees to your chests, but one small move and your legs hit. You can hear his shallow breaths, his nervousness spiking when he hears Seungcheol approaching closer and closer.

“So,” he begins. You’re sure that he can’t speak any quieter, but just the sound of his voice has you dreading the possibility of Seungcheol hearing and finding you two. The winner of this game is awarded the last drink in the cooler and you’re extremely parched. You need to prevail.

You throw him a look. “Please shut up.”

“Y/N.”

“Joshua.”

“You’ve been avoiding me since Wednesday.”

“Oh,” you respond, unsure of the response he wants to hear. In the corner of your eye, you can see Wonwoo attempting to change hiding spots. “Well. Sorry.”

“I mean, I know why,” Joshua continues, his voice rising. “I didn’t handle things well, I said that in my texts, I’m not sure if you saw them, your read receipts are off, but—” he exhales, backtracking, “I just needed you to know that. You’re my best friend, you know, and—”

“Yes, you’ve made that clear,” you say urgently. “Now please be quiet otherwise Seungcheol’s—”

He ignores you. “I got spooked. And I was worried. I never told you this but I was planning on asking you to Spring Formal in junior year,” he smiles faintly at the memory. “But I backed out because you and I have always been this— we’ve always been friends. Nothing more and nothing less. And I thought that’s how we were supposed to be. But then you went with Seungcheol, and I felt something. Something I couldn’t pinpoint. ‘Cause I’ve liked people before, small crushes that come and go within a week, but I had never felt so strongly for anyone. Not like that. Not like this.

But you’ve been with me since we were in seventh grade and I didn’t want to ruin that. Not when we already don’t see each other because we’re on opposite sides of the country. You are—” he exhales. By now, you have already forgotten about the game. “You are the most important person in my life. And if I lose you, how am I supposed to live? How am I supposed to breathe?”

“Joshu—”

“Damn, you’re fucking loud.”

You yelp just as Seungcheol pokes his head into your hiding spot. There’s a glint in his eye, something that tells you he’s heard every word that’s been said, but instead of saying anything, he pats Joshua’s shoulder and says, “You’re done, guys. Still gotta find Soonyoung. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

“No,” you say.

Seungcheol huffs. “God. Listen, I hate to interrupt you two lovebirds, but can you help me find him? Because I’m in desperate need for this game to end—and he’s also my ride home, so finding him is vital for my survival.”

Joshua sighs before crawling out from under the playground, leaving you speechless and alone as darkness slowly sweeps the park and engulfs you whole.

3 days before ━ Sunday, 9:00 P.M.

You have always hated the rain. You despise the way it sticks to your skin. Loathe the way it patters against the car windows, always coming back despite your windshield’s greatest efforts to wipe it away.

And yet, here you are, soaked head to toe on Joshua’s doorstep.

There is only one car in the driveway, so you assume his parents are out, which means there is no one to witness your inevitable humiliation except for the person you care about most. So, you think you could count that as a win.

The moment you push the doorbell, you hold your breath. A small part of you hopes he doesn’t answer and your pathetic, drenched self can trudge home in defeat, but then you hear footsteps coming towards the entrance and two moments later, the door swings open. Joshua’s hair is dishevelled and he’s wearing his favourite red Coca-Cola shirt that he’s had since he was sixteen. His lips part and his eyebrows rise once he registers that you’re standing in front of him.

Then suddenly, you’re filled with rage.

You don’t know what triggers it. Maybe it’s the humidity or the raindrop that lands on your eye, or maybe it’s just seeing Joshua that causes your blood to boil. The words he said yesterday still linger in the back of your mind.

Before you can control yourself, you spit out, “You’re an idiot.”

Clearly, he didn’t expect that. “Oh. Hi to you too.”

“And do you know why you’re an idiot?”

“I’d really love to know.”

“I don’t know what you were thinking yesterday when you confessed to me and then left before I even got to register what you said—that’s a dick move! You didn’t even give me a chance to reply and by the time I fully got my head wrapped around what you said it was already, like, midnight—”

He suppresses a grin. “It took you four hours to process that?”

“I was in shock, Joshua, it took forever to wear off,” you scowl before continuing to ramble on, “and I was going to come talk to you in the morning but then my mom took my car to work and it started raining so I decided to wait it out, but it’s not stopping, so I ran here and— yes, I know, I’m soaking wet but—” you exhale, throwing your hands up in exasperation, “I just wanted to tell you that you really are something, Joshua. A full-blown fool—”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes! What you said yesterday about losing me was bullshit. You have to know it’s bullshit. God, I—” you scoff out a laugh, “I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen. I’m in love with you even though you’re a gigantic pain in the ass who blasts rock music at dawn and send all your text messages with those stupid iMessage effects. My feelings for you have consumed me, Joshua, and despite it all, I still love you, and if that doesn’t prove anything then—mmph!”

You don’t notice just how close Joshua’s gotten until he slants his lips over your own, interrupting you. As your eyes flutter shut, his hands reach up to gently cradle your face while you wrap yours around his neck. When you inhale, all you can smell is the coconut shampoo you bought him for his birthday, and you’re not sure if it’s the scent that makes you dizzy or if it’s Joshua’s lip against yours, reluctant and slow as if he can’t believe this is happening.

When he pulls away, he keeps his forehead on yours before giving you a radiant smile.

“I love you,” he mouths.

Your heart leaps.

“I love you, too.”

2 days before ━ Monday, 10:17 P.M.

“Does anyone know where Joshua and Y/N are?” Mingyu asks as he picks at the raisins in the trail mix he’s sharing with Seungkwan. “I haven’t heard from them in a while.”

Seungkwan frowns. “When was the last time you talked to them?”

“Oh, I texted them an hour ago.”

“You really are something, you know that?”

“Thanks!”

“That was not a compliment—”

“Minghao!” Wonwoo interrupts before the two boys next to him get carried away. “Have you heard from them?”

Minghao hums nonchalantly, briefly thinking about the multiple texts he received from Joshua in the last twelve hours: first a picture of you asleep on Joshua’s bed, blanket all the way up to your chin despite the tenacious heat. Then at noon, Joshua sends a picture of you and him eating leftover Chinese takeout while playing Mario Kart (you won, for the record. Joshua doesn’t bother to acknowledge it). And then at seven, Minghao gets a text saying that you and Joshua will not be in attendance of Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Seokmin’s Last Day of Summer Eve get-together.

Not up for it, Joshua had said, which Minghao interpreted as: I would rather avoid the teasing and questions about our relationship for as long as I possibly can.

So, Minghao shrugs, answering Wonwoo’s question with a sly smile. “Haven’t heard from them.”

Wonwoo narrows his eyes. “Really? You’re not lying?”

“Mhm!”

Soonyoung snorts. “Maybe they’re making out right now.”

Silence.

And then, all eyes are on Minghao.

“Wait a second—” Jun says.

Wonwoo gasps and points an accusatory finger at Minghao. “So you did lie!”

The latter scoffs. “I didn’t even say anything!”

Seungcheol begins flapping his arms frantically, scrambling for his phone. “Everyone call them right now.”

Incredulously, Jihoon says, “Everyone?”

“They’ll have to answer one of us.”

“What if we just raided one of their houses to see if they’re there. Give them a nice surprise.”

“Seokmin, no.”

1 day before ━ Tuesday, 11:33 P.M.

Seungcheol is holding an empty can of beer, slightly buzzed, when he tells Joshua he’s surprised he managed to tell you about his feelings before summer reached its end. The confession may have happened days before he’s scheduled to leave, but Seungcheol’s proud nonetheless. Better late than never, right?

He drums his fingers on the ground, legs dangling over the edge of the pool when he asks, “So, you guys are doing long distance?��

Joshua hums. “Gonna attempt to, yeah.”

Seungcheol nods. “Well, you two should be able to do it,” he says sincerely, eyes straying to you and Jeonghan arguing over the rules of water volleyball. “I mean, you two have always defied expectations, haven’t you?”

Joshua frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We had a betting pool on how long it’d take for one of you to confess,” Seungcheol begins, cutting Joshua off before he can ask any further questions, “which was years ago. We gave up on it by sophomore year of college. Most of us thought you’d be a thing before high school graduation, you know? Completely overestimated you guys.”

“Wow, thanks—”

“And it’s not like we didn’t try to help you, but you guys are the most stubborn people I’ve ever met!”

“I get it, Cheol.”

“If I had a dime for every time I heard, ‘oh, but they don’t like me like that, I don’t want to ruin our friendship,’ I’d have a fuckin’ yacht, man.”

Joshua scowls. “I get it, Seungcheol.”

The older boy throws his hands up in defence. “Just saying,” he chuckles. “But I’m happy for the both of you. Really.”

Joshua exhales, leaning back and throwing Seungcheol a grateful smile. “Thank you. You could’ve said that without the extra commentary, though.”

“Mm, no I really couldn’t.”

“Hey!” you exclaim from the other side of the pool. From the looks of it, you and Jeonghan have finally resolved your argument. “Are you two gonna keep on blabbering or are we finally going to play?”

In unison, Joshua and Seungcheol say, “We’re coming, we’re coming!”

Joshua slowly gets into the pool, leisurely swimming towards you. He wraps his arms around your torso despite your complaints about his cold fingers and kisses your shoulder while Jihoon and Wonwoo, appointed captains, decide their teams. You don’t notice the way Joshua’s eyes soften when you excitedly beg to be picked first, or the way his grip slightly tightens in hopes to keep you close for as long as possible. He knows the two of you will end up being split up, anyway—Wonwoo said himself that nobody wants to have both lovebirds on the same team.

When you eventually release yourself from his grip, teasing him about being picked while he still hasn’t, he scoffs, but he can’t control the laugh that escapes him; the happiness that envelopes him.

He still can’t comprehend the fact that, for years, you didn’t notice how hopelessly in love he was, but no matter—you know now. Besides, it’s not like he noticed your love for him, either.

Jihoon calls out his name and he’s snapped out of his daze.

You grin as he swims over to his teammates. “I’m gonna destroy you, Hong.”

He rolls his eyes. “Oh, you wish.”

At the sound of your laugh, Joshua becomes sure. Sure that this is it. He is to leave tomorrow and he doesn’t know how long it’ll be before he sees you again, but he’s convinced Seungcheol’s right—a few months at college has never torn you apart before, and it definitely won’t now. Joshua won’t let it, not when it took him a decade to get you. He isn’t letting you slip through his fingers.

He’ll be yours forever.

© all rights reserved dkfile, 2022

#joshua hong #hong jisoo #joshua #seventeen #svt #joshua hong x reader #joshua x reader #joshua scenarios #svt scenarios #joshua fluff #svt fluff #joshua imagines #svt imagines #fic: golden hour

[iholli]

I would absolutely love to hear about your faves 👀 Tell me everything you know 👀👀👀👀

AAAAAAVUYCDTIGCTUGCH YOU'RE A GEM THANK U FOR THIS 😭😭😭💚

this is super long bc I'm Completely Normal abt J'onn lmao whoops 😂

omfg where do I start. FIRST THINGS FIRST. HE. MY BELOVED. J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Manhunter, my favorite favorite of all time. no really it's coming up on 8 years and I still love him sm 😭 my one braincell may wander off to new fixations but I always circle back around to him sooner or later.

I have like 4747058 images of him ofc but these are SO good bc they tell a lot about him ??? he's cute, he's silly, he's dramatic, he's sassy, he's the heart of the Justice League twenty times over despite DC refusing to give him any time to shine (I'm going to fight them with my bare hands for that).

I've never posted this but it's been in my drafts for ever so I'll throw it in here 😂 I have so many thoughts about him omg

ALSO I have a whole thing analyzing J'onn's moral compass & development through Justice League Animated, Unlimited, and some of the comics a while back so there's tHAT WHICH,,, was super good imo 👏

uuuuughghghghh I could talk about him forever 😭💚

When it comes to people Superman wouldn't want to fight, J'onn is top of that list, that's canon. He's OP as FUCK. He has most if not all Clark's powers, shapeshifting, intangibility, invisibility, phasing, telepathy, seriously his powers seem to never end ??? But he's terribly underutilized :") like I get it but come on DC,,,

J'onn is addicted to Oreos. no, really. in MM 98 issue 24 Blue Beetle and Booster Gold have this Super Funny Idea to hide all the Oreos from J'onn, and you gotta applaud the dedication to the prank bc they literally went out and bought ALL the Oreos from the ENTIRE vicinity of the JL Embassy building. J'onn proceeds to Hulk out and tear up half the city chasing them for it. It's revealed by Batman that Martians can get addicted to Oreos. At the end of the issue it turns out this is just a story J'onn is telling Diana but... he winks and asks if she's got any cookies, so it's up for debate if it's really just a story [I think there's some truth to it. bc it's very funny.]. And the Oreo thing comes up many times in many places including JLTAS 😂

He also likes sweet things in general !! he canonically drinks coffee with a TON of sugary shit to take off the bitter taste. I also made the hc that was the case for him just days before reading it in MM Identity and I'm very real for that 👏

J'onn is a cat person. One of his aliases is even an Italian street cat named Tommaso. And he has an orange cat named Double Stuff,,, of course 😂

however,,, he's totally a dragon nerd, he knows everything about dragons, he likes reptiles in general but dragons are his fav. He shapeshifts into draconic creatures all the time and he talks many times abt a specific species of moon nesting dragon called quonars. He also telepathically connected with an iguana once and it was a wholesome experience 🥺

J'onn lives in Colorado, in a suburb named Middleton, which is actually the name of a real ghost town! it's interesting that Denver is his preferred climate bc you can assume Mars was similar 👀

He is THE sass master. He goes toe to toe with Batman constantly. One of these days I'll just make a list of every sassy line he delivers in JLTAS but I think that would be a whole book by itself. There's a video of sassy moments from Batman: The Brave and the Bold that I watch 400 times a week. One of my favorite comic sass moments is when Batman expresses his annoyance at J'onn for leaving on the middle of an important meeting, which J'onn happily counters with a "you're so right, it would look bad on the League if someone just vanished at random all the time, huh Batman :)." he then also takes a crack at Bruce's lack of people skills. iconic.

He's also a silly little guy. The Batman 2007? J'onn OWNS the noir detective role, down to the cheesy old fashioned music. He also has like, a whole list of quotes he's just waiting to use when the time is right. He waited years to say "You're probably wondering why I've called you all here today." love him fr

J'onn is canonically kind of an adrenaline junkie. He loves driving, particularly an 87 Chevy Impala which he affectionately says "vibrates like a Chihuahua with a head cold." He once physically linked with an entire damaged spaceship to steer it out of danger and got carried away bc he was just having fun. He also said it was similar to the video games he plays with GL-- so he's canonically a gamer, too 😂👏

I 100% believe he's got anxiety or at LEAST separation anxiety [and that may be the case for the entire Martian race]. I already thought as much but then JLU issue 24 kinda confirmed it and it was devastating :") the League is taken over by Starro, J'onn is the only one who dodges the attack and he's left to fight his teammates which. is already awful for him. and it triggers flashbacks to a time on Mars when he was separated from his family in a nasty sandstorm. J'onn went pretty much feral with panic until he broke down and then forced himself to calm down enough to think of a plan. Meanwhile back with the League he's frantically trying not to panic again bc, while fire is a Martian's greatest weakness, "being alone is a Martian's greatest fear." I cried the whole time I read that issue and then I bought a copy LMAO. can DC stop putting him through the PTSD wringer for five seconds thanks

One short comic run J'onn spends the whole time being chased by the Martian god of fire, H'ronmeer, bc it turns out he was psychically keeping the souls of the entire Martian population tethered to the mortal realm. he's super powerful and HE'S GOING THROUGH IT. ALL THE TIME.

I don't have the context for either happenstance at this time, but J'onn has been both a Black and a White Lantern in comics. I have no idea what any of it means, either, I just know it's happened. I'll get there eventually. maybe. [I think he's dead for the Black Lantern thing so...probably...not...]

^^^ this is up there with the whole "J'onn was actually an advance agent for the invading Martian species but rather than let them use him as a weapon he essentially committed suicide after fighting the whole Justice League [beat them easily, it wasn't even a competition] and somehow this split his consciousness into like 4 different people" of comic runs that I really don't want to read [even though I own this one] :") help

I don't know what it is about forcefields but his brain just shuts off when he gets near one fr. Multiple times when there's a forcefield, EVEN IF HE KNOWS IT'S THERE, J'onn just yeets headfirst into it. He's just generally super impulsive tho ??? This guy is constantly jumping into action without a moment's thought. pls stop handing off the braincell to absolutely no one when there's danger, J'onn [he does not actually have the braincell at any given time. only Bruce has it. occasionally].

He totally enjoys starting shit. J'onn is Here for teammate drama. He once gave Batman absolutely what for and called him immature just bc J'onn was annoyed with his attitude. He sends people on League missions that will either bring out complete drama or make them find common ground. Though he says the contrary, J'onn is absolutely in the background of every team squabble with popcorn like Thor watching Tony and Cap argue. "You're all so petty. And tiny."

J'onn's name means "light to the light" and it's so poetic 😭😭 of COURSE he's the heart of the League. akdjfndckdnxkd

I'm going to stop there bc I could go on forever but I've held this ask hostage in my drafts long enough 😂😂 ENJOY THE RAMBLING THANK U FOR SENDING THIS ASK AAAA 💙

#possum screms at this #sorry it takes me 5-10 business days to answer asks i get too excited #enrinchment but i am a dog with an egg. bark and bounce around it with delight instead of interacting Normally #ratkingresponds #j'onn my beloved #here tumblr have a bunch of infodumping abt my beloved #martian manhunter #j'onn j'onzz #dc #long post #i know ive dropped a lot of this info on tumblr before but now its all in One Condensed Post #I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM. brainrot real #some other favs include loki death the kid shadow the hedgehog donnie rottmnt luigi bowser & king boo #but J'onn is like. my Main Guy yk 😭😭 #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK I CANNOT SAY IT ENOUGH 😭😭 #nothing brings me seratonin like talking about he fr fr

[thatdesklamp]

WAIT OMG-

been reading intrinsic warmth for a WHILE and your writing is top tier!! i always wondered to myself every time i’d read a chapter why the writing just STICKS, yk? i’m a MAJOR book girlie, i read 24/7.

AND THEN IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I READ ONE OF YOUR TAGS THAT YOU PUT UP ON ONE OF YOUR POSTS WHERE YOU WERE ANSWERING A QUESTION FROM ANOTHER LOVELY READER AND I SEE THAT YOU TOOK AN ENGLISH A LEVEL?

first of all (not 100% sure on this) but i’m pretty sure only british ppl take gcses, a levels, etc. YOU’RE BRITISH?

i feel like i’ve met my other half rn over something so tiny but yeah. IT LITERALLY EXPLAINS WHY YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD:

i could point out the NUMBER of times i’ve seen juxtaposition, symbolism, foreshadowing in your fic to someone if they’d asked me to point it out for them. at first i thought you might’ve done it unknowingly, and then i decided that nope, bc foreshadowing is such a BIG writing technique that it simply couldn’t have been by accident.

it’s one thing to know about a writing technique and another to actually be able to SUCCESSFULLY incorporate it into your writing. if it isn’t clear enough, i’m saying that you did it AMAZINGLY. you’ve got a natural talent and i’m envioussss (in a supporting way ofc 😭).

you should really look into making your own book, and i think you EXCEL at the supernatural aspect of plot in stories. your writing is so unique and different yet so warm, it reminds me of autumn (my favourite season).

idk how to end such a long message, ultimately i don’t have a reason for typing this up and shit. ik you have tons of people probably saying the same thing and it might just get repetitive for you, but i wouldn’t feel comfortable not being part of said bunch-of-ppl-probably-saying-the-same-thing.

oh! and take your SWEET TIME updating. it’s your story, your fic, your writing. the ONLY thing we readers can give you as a payback and thanks is time, patience, and understanding <3333

RAHHH BRITTANIA 💪💪💪💪

Agh. Yes—I’m British (English to be precise, sweet sweet caroline etc), hence the use of ‘u’s in words like ‘colour’ and ‘humour’, and also why everyone’s parents are their ‘father’ or ‘mother’ and not mum/dad. ‘Mom’ feels too American but ‘mum’ feels too rah engerland, yk? I’ve mentioned previously that I’m looking forward to writing fics where the characters are actually from England and where I’m actually allowed to write them the way I talk, mostly. Good lord am I excited.

And yes lol I took English for an A-Level. Bloody smashed it too, if I get to brag, mwahaha. Didn’t take it any further (I’ve also previously said that I’m a # woman in stem uni student, which is true), but I still write a killer essay imo. Give me 10 minutes to do a refresher on ‘Othello’ (it’s been a while okay) and I can talk for donkeys about his tragic fall and how much of a wanker he is. Which he is! I’m a Desdemona defender for life.

You say ‘natural talent’. PLS. No!! God no. Not at all. I wish—that would’ve made it a lot easier, but whatever I can do rn is down to bloody years of toiling away on my shitty little laptop, I promise. I’ve got another anon ask that asked about some writing tips so I’ll do the bulk of them there but my number 1 will always and forever be to practise. Whatever skill I have now has been earned over the many years. You don’t even want to see some of the stuff that will never grace my ao3 page (atla had me in a chokehold through covid and I have never been the same).

But you are genuinely so complimentary: this is so so lovely of you. Thank you?? It’s really weird being someone who writes and also someone who enjoys analysing literature; you’re right, half of the ‘techniques’ are intentional (the number of times I’ve flicked through some chapters’ drafts and thought, ‘fucks sake none of this makes sense, I need to add some decent foreshadowing or none of this will make sense in two chapters’), but also so much of my writing is just thinking, ‘hmm, this doesn’t really feel right. No no, I don’t like the vibe of this. I want this to feel more GRAAHHH and less lalalala. Lemme change this up a bit’. Whether that leads to the whole, short sentences->speeds up the pace of the reader when reading the section->increased tension, mimics actual fight encounter, etc etc (all the stuff you blag on about in eng lit), then maybe that counts as intentional? And maybe not.

Making my own book? That’s lovely of you to say but I also really don’t have any ideas for anything non-fanfic’y! Lol. I love a good bit of canon compliance, that’s my issue. That being said—hey, another eng a level reference—I’ve made multiple references here to being the world’s #1 ‘Atonement’ hater. Unfortunately, it also lives damn rent free in my head and I’ve got the bare bones of a WW2-era, perhaps epistolary, longform fic buzzing around. (Fandom: Marauders. I’m a disgrace but here we go). I’ve written nothing for it and maybe I never will, but that’s one of the only things I can see as being more standalone from original canon. Anyway: it’s the fanfic life for me. Ali Hazelwood’s life is but a distant dream.

But anyway! Thank you again for your lovely words. The next IW chapter will take a very long time, I have to be frank, so thank you for the reassurance that that’s not absolutely disgraceful lmao T_T Thanks again!! <3

#intrinsic warmth #I hope I have not accidentally hidden my englishness #the biggest event of this month isn’t Halloween or 1989tv — it’s the switch from bst to gmt babyy

[kidflashimpulse]

saw a post you made a while back answering an ask about YJA Bart's civvie life mirroring the comics, and i realized that comic Bart went straight into high school due to being 14 going on 15 when he came to the past, but YJA Bart was 12 going on 13, so he'd be in middle school for a little over a year first. so! an idea i thought i'd share: people mostly think he's Weird (derogatory) in middle school because that's where he goes through his biggest adjustment period. middle school is frustrating for him, but he manages. then high school happens and suddenly he's Mr Popularity bc 1) he's more used to being in school now, even if he still doesn't like it and high school is a different beast, 2) his West-Allen (and Meloni) related pretty genes have started to properly kick in (underrated Bart fact: he's supposed to be noticeably good-looking. like not just cute, but a Certified Pretty Boy. it gets brought up SO MUCH in his solo it's so funny) and he has a canon big growth spurt between 13 and 15, and 3) there's a ton of new ppl his age who have no established opinions of him the way others do. and like in the comics Bart hates the attention and keeps almost exclusively to his friends (one of my fave running gags is Bart being surrounded by people trying to get his attention and he just keeps doing what he's doing without engaging or even reacting barely at all)

omg anon…. this ask has given me the biggest smile ever because it just brings back so many memories of my first ever (drafted) fic ahhhhhhhh !!! especially because of the way it starts!! in middle school where he’s the certified weirdo!!! not that he minds it at all he’s more concerned with the whole concept of wtf even is school and how’s he supposed to be stuck in a classroom when he has more pressing issues like uh preventing an impending apocalypse?? lmfao but yes that first year/couple months is a huge adjustment period for him, at the very least in terms of school.

the thing is at least in my non-existent fic, i was really motivated to have carol and preston be the first civilians he befriended, which would be in middle school. But then I also want them (and others) to be his classmates throughout high school too! Cause u know, they’re the civilians we know that he interacts with and gets along. I don’t think the chances of that are too off because if they all live within the same district it would be reasonable to assume they’d attend the same high school? Like not the exact same class, but there r bound to be a few familiar faces. But that’s not rlly a problem for the concept that u outlined considering they’re his friends so the whole preconceived notion thing wouldn’t play much of a role in the first place (and if anything more accurately reflect the plot of how Carol befriends him and then at that point worries about popularity getting to him, like the impulse timeline was crazy fast (understandably ig)) . Also like yes, mirroring the comics he accidentally becomes quite popular lmfao but like u said it’s high school so it’s not without its totally dramatised plot issues (i could come up with way too many honestly they’re just so entertaining especially considering like how i mentioned he wants no part in it both intentionally as well as not lol) just like the impulse run!

Certified Pretty Boy huh that’s just as much as a trait to him as it is him having brown hair (which is always! suck it red hair truthers lmfao) but yes totally!! His genes have done him well and it’s obviously the reason why everyone is in love with him (looking at u Preston /j /srs)

basically, thank u for sharing your thoughts with us <3 cause it’s just so entertaining to think about all this!! I’m not even exaggerating i could come up with so many plots about his school experience i think there’s just so much room for potential and fun and it’s pretty amusing to think about. I would love to write a fic o. it specifically (side eye to that first fic lol) but unfortunately i’ve just got one brain and set of hands and can only really focus on one fic at a time 🫠 on the bright side i am planning on covering at least a little bit of his civvie life in the next chapter of AAIT (still in its really early stages so it’ll take a while, sorry) so if anyones interested in that, stay tuned lol

#YJ asks #bart allen #young justice #impulse #kid flash #yj #carol bucklen #preston lindsay

[streets-in-paradise]

Hey, I'm the anon who asked for Achilles, I just had time to read what you wrote and I'm so delighted. I loved the stubbornness and obstinacy of the character, it matches perfectly with what I always saw in a partner for Achilles. And speaking of Achilles, now I just want a boyfriend like him, the way he was willing to give up fame to be with her and how he loves her in such a poetic way is just wow. Definitely looking forward to seeing what you would write in a possible part 2, thank you again for fulfilling my request so beautifully.

Welcome back, anon! And thank you for this super sweet message 💖

I was super curious about what you would think and I'm extremely happy knowing you are so satisfied with the result of your request. As i stated in the post, i had material to make it longer but i felt that if I would have incluided everything it would have made it too long. Hopefully one of these days I will edit and expand the first draft of the things I left behind to make a continuation.

Characterizations are one of my biggest concerns, so I'm very relieved you think everything was on point. Same, anon, I also want a boyfriend like him <3 The idea of making Achilles being the one willing to do the sacrifice first, thinking on giving up fame as inmediate response to knowing the prophecy, occured to me directly from the film canon characterization. What I did was expanding it a bit, going deeper into a point that the movie showed but was overlooked with so many things happening inmediately afterwards.

When trully facing the dichotomy between his two possible fates because he realized he had fallen in love, this was his response:

Odysseus attempts to persuade him through reminders of the glory he would leave behind, but he doesn't seem so affected.

Filmwise, Achilles has showed will to choose love over glory. He was about to leave so he could live in peace with Briseis, only the death of Patroclus stopped him. Grief for feeling like he had falied him and need for revenge made him stay in Troy and get back to the war. It was a struggle between his romantical love towards her and his platonical bond with his deceased relative, not between love and glory. At this point of the film Achilles is in a similar mess to what Will Turner had to face in the POTC trilogy. Every step he takes to avenge his relative takes him further away from the woman he loves, foreshadowing a tragic end.

Going back to the prophecy reveal scene to write the request knowing this gave me a clear idea of where Achilles would stand if he would have been in a commited relationship before the war starts. For me, writing him capable of giving up his dream of making history for her in the fict was the most in character thing. This misunderstanding where she points out how unfair that would be because she knows he has worked so hard for it, but he keeps telling her he would leave it all behind for her is peak film Achilles romance.

And just like you said: he loves in a poetic way. However it is not only because he is the main hero and everything he does, he does it with epicity. Paris being the man who doomed two civilizations for love may be the hopeless romantic man in the film, but Achilles has some of the most poetical lines. The classic " the gods envy us" speech ( that some people wrongfully attribute to Homer because of how poetic it sounds lol), his " you gave me peace in a lifetime of war"... I can't help feeling he loves intensely and poetically.

This is what i want my writing for him to reflect and I put tons of effort to make it work in all my fics. I am actually so glad you pointed it out. I'm like " OMG, someone noticed!! "

Sorry i made this so long and I hope you will not get bored reading me. Your comment made me so happy i felt I wanted to share some details about my writing process with you ( but also ramble about how much I love the character and the romance style that he inspires me to write)

I'm very excited about continuing this fic and hope to get back to it soon, but the good news is that the troy wip im currently working on is also an Achilles one.

Thank you so much again for sending this!!

#asks #messages #troy 2004 #troy fanfiction request #achilles x reader #this ended up a bit meta but i couldnt help it #i just wanted to ramble about him #achilles #brad pitt

[flowering-thought]

pls give us another part to your yandere cult im beggingggggggg youuuuu😭😭😭

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

I love them so much. Btw if you don’t mind me asking are you writing the series on a schedule or just whenever you feel like adding a part? Either way is fine I just wanna know what to expect.keep up your great work and have a good day!🥰

Omg yeah I really wanna start on the next part! I haven't started it yet cause I felt for a while there that was all I was working on and didn't wanna burn out all my ideas lol-

As for the time of when I post I kinda just post whenever I feel like it? My inspiration comes and goes, so I usually have a draft and whenever I finish it is whenever I post anything. I usually have a couple of drafts I work on at a time and go through asks to see which one I have inspiration for at the time to try and write. I worry about getting into a writing block or getting tired of a character so I try to space out what I write which is why I usually have maybe 6-9 drafts open at a time so I have plenty of choice.

Some get put on the backburner while others I finish and then yeet out into the wild of tumblr in hopes that people enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it.

But for the cult series I have lots of fun! I have tons of ideas for it and I already have all the apostles down in my head for personality and looks and for how they meet their lovely goddess.

It's just the matter of writing the events I want down and fleshing it out yk? Sometimes I feel like I'm rushing it and when that happens I go through and try to flesh out where it feels a little too rushed!

But I'll for sure work on the next part dw! If you want a hint for the next part, I'd def be willing to spill a little bit about the next person to be introduced! And if you have questions about the current people I've introduced, I'd be glad to answer!

Hope you have a lovely day or night anon! Stay hydrated and eat a lil snack or else 🤺🤺

#.hana_talks_txt_♡ #.the_cult_♡ #yandere oc #yandere cult #cult au

[ihatebnha]

ahhahs non-ua-student y/n wearing bkg's sports festival jacket hahaaha

(note: i found this in my drafts and i remember hating it but... it would be a shame to waste so. here. bye.)

(warnings: clothing/outfit mentioned) 

I’ve been thinking about this ask foreverrrrr, omg, and when I was on the toilet the other day, I realized... 

Wouldn’t it be so funny if you found the jacket while you were rummaging through his closet? 

Maybe you and Bakugo are moving into a bigger place soon and need to clear out some stuff, or maybe you’re just looking for something, but imagine you’re going through his side of the closet, and you come across a box in the corner filled with all his UA gear. Of course, there’s the medal from his first win at the sports festival, the class band t-shirt that he was forced to wear that year, and probably even some other “junk,” as he would call it... but packed tightly into the bottom is his old... gym uniform🥺

You pick it up, dust it off... and though he has no real use for it now, it’s still in the same condition that it was when he first needed to wear it (because obviously, he knows how to care of clothes), and you think it might be fun to show Bakugo something he may’ve forgot about. 

(Like, he obviously saved it for a reason. Maybe. Probably.)

Anyway, you pull the box out fully, and of course he either laughs at the stuff you show him or calls it disgusting (see: his first Sports Festival medal)... but when you get to the uniform, that’s when he gets just a little sentimental.

He obviously isn’t, you know, crying like Deku would, but he still snatches it out of your hands when you hand it to him, regardless, and literally just... looks at it. Holds it up to inspect it, runs his hands over the red stripes, and even if he doesn’t say anything about it, you know that that means he’s at least thinking about what to do with it. 

So, you busy yourself with packing everything back up, maybe mention to him getting a frame or display case for the shirt and medals (to which he grunts in agreement to show he’s listening), and no sooner than later he’s moving to help you pack up and throwing the uniform back to you. 

You catch it, laughing, and jokingly say, “What? You don’t want to try it on?” mostly because it’s very obviously too small for him now... but he’s just rolling his eyes and responding with, 

“No. You keep it.” 

Huh. 

It’s not like you’re going to say no or disagree with him, but the request does seem a little weird since it’s not like you went to high school with him or anything... 

But anyway, you take the jacket and finish up packing with him, and it’s only really a couple days later that you remember the comment... running back into your apartment to grab a coat when it’s a lot chillier than you expected it would be outside... 

Just as you’re about to head into the bedroom closet, you spot the UA jacket atop a box of things in the hallway, and remembering what Bakugo said to you when you first showed it to him, you figure that because it works well enough as a windbreaker, you might as well take it with you as you run your errands. 

When you’re out, however, it’s not as simple... tons of people comment on it, asking if you went to UA, talking about the Sports Festival and asking which one you were in, which was your favorite, and because you didn’t realize it would be this big a deal, you just laugh and say the jacket belongs to someone else.

(You know that if you said boyfriend that everyone would ask who... so you save yourself the trouble and the attention.) 

Anyway, you get home after that ordeal, calling out to Bakugo who’s finally home and waiting in the kitchen, and when he sees you, his eyes, weirdly, are widening. 

He’s like, “you’re wearing it...” 

Of course, you laugh, pretty much thinking of nothing of it, like, “Yeah, I just needed to grab something quick before I left,” before going on to talk about how funny it was that people commented on it as you put away your groceries... at the same time, not realizing that Bakugo has started to crowd in on you. 

One second you’re putting away a jar of something, the next, you’re turning around and bumping right into his chest, and when you look up, you find that he’s staring at you with that weird look in his eyes again, the one he had when you first found the jacket... and you’re like... 

“You okay, sweetie?” 

Legit, dude does not even say anything. Instead, he’s almost immediately lifting you up onto the counter and trying to pull your pants right off, despite how, when he moves to push up your shirt, as well, he doesn’t bother with actually trying to get it off you. 

Of course, you go to help him, a little bit surprised at his sudden persistence, but nonetheless start to sit up so you can pull at the jacket anyway...

Though, for whatever reason, Bakugo’s pushing you right back down, a mild glare in his eyes when he says, “Keep it on.” 

And that’s how you fuck... Bakugo eating you out on the counter just like that, and bending you right back over after just so he can hit it from behind... the entire time with the jacket still on. 

-

This is making me emotional, though... because imagine the reason he likes and wants to see you wear it is because he had nobody to give it to in high school. Not that he was focused on dating or anything... but it’s always nice to have someone wearing your jersey in the bleachers... BYE. 

#bakugo x reader #bakugo #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #caitie post #bakugo thoughts #funnies #idk if this idea works or not but i didnt just want to go with .... basic bakugo lets u wear his jacket!!!!!!! #so f*ck it lol #those are my old tags\ #but this is better than i remember it being LOL

[literateleah]

omg hi leah i'm here to ask for advice on college apps like the stressed senior i am ... </3 what tips do u have for someone quickly entering the busiest part of the app process?

HIII love i’m so glad to be able to help. ok here’s my top tips

- start a giant document with essay prompts you need to write. supplements, personal essay drafts etc etc put them all in there with a page break after each one or something. i did this and it saved my life because i didn’t have to go hunting through tons of files to find a three sentence prompt on a whim

- also start a doc/spreadsheet of major due dates. if there’s scholarship or early action dates for schools u have ur eye on put them in there and also ur calendar!! i use my apple one all the time and it alerts me at custom intervals to remind me to get my stuff done in time

- ok now for ur list. in not sure where ur at rn in terms of considering schools but i will say know your limits! weigh your intuition and goals with the information you have about each school, and try not to get overwhelmed by the sheer amount. that’s easier said than done but learned the hard way that the most unexpected opportunities or options will come up and u never know! if an app is free or you have a waiver, it can’t hurt to put yourself out there.

- also, take advantage of peer reviews and student comments on universities, because as we all know a brochure can host one thing but a fourth year student could say something very different. keep reputations in mind and what diff schools are known for, because most rumors are somewhat based in truth

- as far as financial aid 😖 also put yourself out there as much as possible!!! do your fafsa asap (i know everyone says it but seriously do it) and start looking sooner rather than later for scholarships. even if it’s microscholarships that are 500 bucks for a student writing contest- that’s a semesters worth of textbooks. i found so many little grants and such to apply for and a lot of times they don’t ask for much (your personal essay, maybe future goals). there’s no such things as too much free money, and especially for poc and depending on your fields and interests there ARE people out there just dying to give it to you. niche, collegex, and scholarshippoints are some good places to start there as well

last but not least- i promise the world wont end. you have a glorious unique path ahead of you and each moment of this process is getting you closer to that. you are capable, intelligent, valued and i promise i promise the world is yours to conquer

#tony tag #ask tag #🤍🤍🤍🌬 #leah’s lounge

[asotin]

i opened your acc, as one does when they're in desperate need of joy, and normally i dont send asks but the first thing i see that kushina ask. whoever wrote that ask, you're iconic. (angel, do u have any takes on kushina? it could be based off the ask or not. just takes in general.) have a nice day!! -💫

thank you so much omg 😭

i have so many takes on kushina. so many that when i lost the draft i’d been typing them in, i wanted to die LOL. but i’ll do my best to recreate them!

> if we say that the rest of konoha/the land of fire, has that general ~american~ accent, kushina would talk like she’s from new england

> she should have been hokage. i don’t care what this would have done to the plot. konoha making the last living uzumaki, a woman who has classic uzumaki looks, the head of the village would have been show stopping. plus, sealing doesn’t get explored much, and i would like to see more of that pls (side note: she and tenten would be a power team, and tenten’s weapons shop would have been popping bc the hokage would buy from her)

> she should have had a ton of time with mito. she does need friends her age, but as far as either of them knows, they’re the last members of their clan. of course they’d spend time together! we don’t know anything about mito’s children, but one of her grandchildren died and the other left the village. her husband and her brother in law are dead. she’s probably lonely, you know? and i think kushina would be really good, enthusiastic company. do i also think mito would have diaries that she would flip through and read from when kushina is homesick or just having a bad day? yes. do i also think that the majority of things she reads when kushina is sad are tales of the first hokage and his zero brain cells? of course. do i think mito would leave the diaries and their scroll to kushina so kushina would never be without uzushio? absolutely

> her “romance” suuuucked. you see your crush getting made fun of for years and don’t say anything because she can take it? you don’t get to just marry her

> as she grows up, she grows disenchanted with konoha. it’s still her home and she’s going to protect it, but uzushio was her home, too

> being a jinchuuriki isn’t the worst, but it’s isolating. she’s a sociable person, so the loneliness is crushing. she doesn’t like kurama and things get a little dicey at one point when she’s feeling really bitter about uzushio. she doesn’t use kurama’s chakra much, and the two of them eventually reach something like a comfortable ceasefire

> she realizes she’s losing her memories of uzushio, so she starts journaling like mito

> again, kushina’s thing was sealing. a hokage-class ninja from a terrifying clan could fuck things up, and she definitely would

> she was gay. look at her. that isn’t how a straight woman looks

> in what world would she see jiraiya and not immediately tell him that if he attempted to speak to her or her child, she would turn him inside out? and she really went along with naming their son, their first child, after a food/character from jiraiya’s book?

> if they’d resurrected her, she would have ended the war, obito, madara, and kaguya in under 24 hours

#asks #anonymous #naruto #long post #hot takes #i hope you have a good one too!

[supposed2bfunny]

B,L,A,N,K,E,T for the fanfic ask meme

OMG LISSY THANK YOU SO MUCH?? You indulge me FAR too much

B-What was the first fandom you read fic in?  Which was the first you wrote fic for?

I first read for either Hana-Kimi or Ouran High School Host Club back in the golden days of Fanfiction.net...many moons ago...

I first wrote even before then for Teen Titans. I didn’t know “fanfiction” was a thing, and I just wrote “stories” for my favorite superheroes by hand and illustrated them myself, to be enjoyed by absolutely nobody but me.

L- Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

That’s tough. Probably either “Unacceptable” or “Inarticulate Life,” both of which deal with some heavier subject matter. “OT3″ has also had some darker moments, which can be tough to write sometimes without taking lots of breaks to gather my thoughts and emotions before getting to a final version. It’s not that I can’t write about tougher topics, but rather that I want to make sure the characters speak like themselves while also being respectful of the subject matter (i.e. abusive relationships, sexual misconduct, etc). It can be challenging to strike a balance between handling something in a way that I’m comfortable sharing with readers while also just being in-character.

A-Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

If we’re sticking to what I’ve written more recently on AO3, probably “OT3″ or “Naked,” as they both kind of served as icebreakers for me to meet and befriend a lot of awesome people in the Gorillaz fandom, some of whom have become my closest friends over the course of years. The research and time and effort that has gone into OT3 (and will continue to; it’s on hiatus, but I’m not done with it forever) is probably the most I’ve ever poured into anything fandom-wise.

Looking back even further (if you don’t have my ff.net account, you’re not gonna get it; shit back there is CRINGE), I’m pretty fond of “Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc,” because I wrote a lot of that at a time when I was starting to come into myself as a writer and realize that I wanted to take writing seriously as a profession. Plus I’ll always have a soft spot for Sherlock Holmes sooo

N-Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

I DON’T CARE if no one gives a shit, I’m drafting a JJBA/Vento Aureo Fumis fic that’s gonna be so traumatizing, yo! Mista is dealing with a shit-ton of survivor’s guilt and depression, and Fugo is just an emotional mess on a good day, and they’re gonna be thrown together to topple Passione’s narcotics trade. They’re falling in love, but why the hell aren’t they in therapy? Stay tuned to find out!

Also when that fic has been drafted, I’m seriously hoping to get back into writing “OT3″ again... It’s honestly harder than it sounds to write something when your heart’s not in it, but I’m going to do my best to get back into that mindset once my current hyper-fixation dies down a bit because I know a lot of folks really want to see the story continue (trust me: so do I).

K-Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

Smut. I just read so much smut :( I generally don’t read fics that aren’t M-rated unless they’re exceptionally well-written. The kinkier the better, honestly. I’ve gotta get better about giving other fics a chance...

E- What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

Hmm. Weird answer, but here goes: Mac from Sunny in Philadelphia is one. His toxic relationship with Dennis helped me externalize a bad relationship in my own life, and I really identify with Mac’s need to “protect” and love his friends even when he’s a total coward who hasn’t really sorted his own shit out yet, and even though he knows those friends wouldn’t necessarily do the same for him. I’m not sure that comes across so well in the sole IASIP fic that I’ve written, but I have drafts floating around for a longer fic I doubt I’ll ever get to that really address that aspect of his personality.

My current hyperfixation, JJBA also has me loving Mista, who is similarly, consciously or unconsciously, overly protective of loved ones to the point of self-destruction. That will absolutely shine through in the fics I’m writing for JJBA.

And my Good Omens fic “Upon Your Shoulders” may as well be titled “Beck Projects Intense Self-Loathing onto Aziraphale and Posts it Publicly.” So yeah. That’s really me not even trying to be subtle, to be honest. Aziraphale is just a character that I saw and instantly stanned.

I know I write primarily Gorillaz, but I don’t actually identify with any of them that closely? I just think they’re neat!

T-Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

Anything that uses trauma as the sole means to push two characters together is honestly just :/// like “Character A was sexually assaulted, and their trauma made Character B realize it was time to confess their feelings and now they’re happily together! :)” YUCK. Do not like.

I also generally avoid kidfics (with exceptions--lookin’ at you, Smooty!) because I don’t want kids nor do I want my OTPs to share their time/attention with anyone else, thank you! Unless I personally know and like the author, I skip over anything dealing with kids, adoption, pregnancy, etc.

Anything OC-related is also a no from me, dawg (with exceptions--lookin’ at you, Aaron!) because in case you couldn’t tell, I am there for the OTP I’m hyper-focused on, and don't need any distractions. My unpopular opinion is “why insert an OC when you can just self-project onto a character instead?”

Aside from that, give me all the “there was only one bed :O” or merfolk!AUs or time period!AUs you can--I’ll collect them all gladly.

Thank you so much for the ask, Liss!! This was fun AND you made me open my FF.net page to look at my old stuff. Thanks, I hate it!

#lifeguardinthesharktank #ask meme #seriously thank you for this it was a lot of fun #I have a lot of opinions evidently #ok shut up now beck

[sunfloweradore]

drafts!!

okay SO i’m on break and have a shit ton of free time and i actually want to write (shocker right omg) i have many drafts and i’d just like to know which one you’d be most interested in me posting first (drafts are after the blurbs in bold)

vote here or in my inbox  

1. based off of something i read on wattpad but i can’t find it or i would credit it sksskls, harry’s neighbor is flicking the bean EVERY TIME he’s in the shower so he has to hear her moans all the time and he is fed! up!

2. basically y/n wants to move out of her parent’s house and will do anything to find a decent roommate, it turns out to be harry, and he’s secretly an assassin

3. someone requested that i write a story where the reader is latina which has been in my inbox FOREVER so if you requested it i am so sorry for the wait but i’m not latina so it’s a little difficult to write from that perspective but i'm trying!!

4. harry is a photography major and has a crush on y/n (kind of a nerd/popular girl thing but it’s sweet)

5. so nick sets harry up on a blind date with some girl who is bi and sees a girl in the crowd who she can’t stop staring at and it’s y/n, harry actually offers for them all to have a threesome once he sees her

6. finally, i don’t have a draft for it, but someone requested that i have an a/b/o fic where a rival pack hurts y/n

1. Harry was pissed off and turned on constantly. All he wanted was to shower in peace- it’s why he moved out of his friends house and into an apartment. He was now regretting that decision because of how shittily thin the walls were. Every time he wanted to take a shower, he’d do it at night time. It was just how he was, a routine thing. He’d get through his day, eat something, take a shower, and pass out with a dozen fluffy blankets. However, once he’d moved into said apartment, he discovered that he’d have to make some adjustments.

The first time it happened, Harry assumed it was a one time thing (everyone has their needs, so did he) and was enjoying his shower, turning up his music to block out the noise. The next five times, though, made him realize it would keep happening no matter what kind of noise he tried to make in its place. He couldn’t necessarily say that he didn’t enjoy the moans- they were pretty, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a tinge of arousal whenever he heard one, but Jesus, it was so bothersome. If he was trying to take a relaxing bath with lavender bath salts and calming music, muffled moans would burst through the room. If he just needed a quick rinse before going to bed, bam, it sounded like someone was either getting murdered or having the best damn orgasm in the world... every single time. Apparently whoever this woman was, really enjoyed getting herself off, especially when she heard the water running on the other side of the wall (Harry could kind of understand, though, he was a bit of an exhibitionist, himself, but he definitely wouldn’t fuck himself that loudly without even knowing who was on the other side. For all she knew, Harry could be an 80 year old man whose nurse showered him every night).

In a sour moment mixed with cheap drugstore alcohol and pure bravery, Harry decided enough was enough.

2.  The sounds of cars beeping and trailing down the highway echoed through Y/N’s ears on her long, tiring walk home. She lived with her parents in her second year of college, and, while she appreciated their generosity, she needed to find a place closer because the walk back gave her blisters (she probably needed a car, too, but that was a whole different struggle). She didn’t have many friends, either, tending to isolate herself on accident in an attempt to be a good student, so it’s not like she could ask anyone if she could pay rent to live with them or anything of the sort. Her only option was to look for ads or fliers in her neighborhood that sounded good enough for her to live in (she was very desperate at this point and could honestly care less if they had some sketchy building, as long as her room and the rent were decent).

3.  (Hey babe! I don’t know if you’re still doing requests but if you are, could you do one where the reader is latina? Like yovanna ventura (u can check her ig she’s so gorgeous!) and like the fans hates her bc they want him to date someone skinny and white and compares her to kendall or camille, and bc of that she’s having second thoughts on dating him, thank you hun!💖💖)) If Y/N had to describe Harry’s past girlfriends, the first word that came to mind was… plain. And she didn’t mean it in a bad way, honestly, she didn’t, but it felt like there wasn’t hope for anyone who wasn’t... white enough... someone you’d see on the cover of all magazines, someone who didn’t… stand out. At the same time, though, it seemed to have become an expectation that he dated girls like that, who were equally as famous as he was and people within his circle that he was comfortable with. Which is why it was such a shock that he posted a picture with a latina, naturally golden skin glowing with a smile that matched Harry’s completely. No one expected it at all, which made her a bit sad, honestly. Not because she felt bad about being with him, no, not at all, but because they’d all been expecting someone who was the complete opposite of her.

4. “Make sure to delete the ones that are ugly, please!”

“Got it,” he spoke softly, enamored by the effortless way her hair fell onto her collarbones. The lighting was perfect, peering through the tree leaves and shining particular light onto her right eye and enhancing certain parts of her pink sweater. Honestly, this was their first shoot and he already had an inkling that no photos would be deleted.

5.  Harry was on a date with a girl. A girl he thought was insanely hot, despite her odd choice to go to a club in some part of LA he’d never even heard of and he actually quite liked going to them (more so being dragged there by his friends, but it was fun most of the time to see them all get wasted, even if he was somewhat a wallflower). He thought it was going to end in her being all over him once she had a few daiquiris in her, hoping to take her home but he should’ve known that Nick wouldn’t introduce him to anyone he’d actually like, or, more specifically, anyone who’d actually like him. It started off okay, she’d asked him about his upcoming album and he answered politely despite answering those types of questions more times than he could count on both hands. She seemed distracted and he wanted that kind of attention on him, not whatever was behind him. He wanted to kiss her glossy lips and feel her dig her long nails into him, feel them pull at his skin while he fucks into her.

6. Can you do a werewolf!au and a soulmate!au where Harry finds his soulmate aka y/n but then a rival pack hurts y/n? Happy ending

#this post was way longer than i thought it'd be lmao #harry styles smut

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 028: Cavalry Battle Part 1

Hi everyone, I have HERO A on repeat. Time for some Sports Fest antics.

Previously on BnHA: Everyone picked teams for the cavalry battle. Like a half dozen people swarmed Bakugou going PICK ME!! and he was all WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE. Deku teamed up with Ochako and Iida, but then Iida was like WELL ACTUALLY and ran off to be on Todoroki’s team. Then my new favorite, Mei, was like HEY and so Deku picked her instead, and also Tokoyami, because Deku is the guy who somehow wins the entire fantasy league after sitting out the fucking draft.

Today on BnHA: The cavalry battle begins. Todoroki hints at having Daddy Issues. Deku’s team holds the others at bay through the power of zero-g, sentient bird shadows, and jetpacks. Bakugou gets trolled by some punk from class B and loses his shit. Todoroki and Deku face off.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 51 58 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. lol yesterday was a very productive day) 

Todoroki has a pretty good thing going, not gonna lie. Iida brings the speed, Kami’s quirk is the perfect defense, and Momo can protect them against being hit by Kami’s electricity themselves. meanwhile Todoroki can probably just ice the ground and send everyone else flailing. I wonder if that would be against the rules

they’ve easily got the best defense out of the whole group, and with Todoroki as their one-man offense... everyone else needs to watch out

oh?

what are you just gonna sit this one out or something? I see he’s looking at the stands though

Todoroki. could it be that you have... Daddy Issues

because I’ve been waiting for a character with Daddy Issues, Todoroki

just. it’s another Thing That I Like, bud, so I’m just warning you now

(ETA: need I even say anything more here)

OHO

oohhhh

this must be the famous Endeavor we’ve heard so much about, then :D

and you know, I’d been wondering why he never uses his fire powers, and ever since he mentioned that his dad was a flame hero, I had a feeling that it might be something like this

so I see he does indeed have Daddy Issues, and self-imposed weaknesses on top of that! boy that sure is stupid, Todoroki

(ETA: even though he has Reasons, I still stand by this statement. he’s allowed to be dumb, though; he’s a kid and he’s been through a lot.)

so now let’s talk about this Endeavor guy. I can immediately see that he, like Vongola Primo before him, just refuses to ever not be on fire at all times. there’s just no reasoning with these people

also this dude literally has a mustache made of fire, which is just the most excellent thing I’ve ever seen

I mean, the beard is also cool, but. the mustache. SO UNNECESSARY. SO BIZARRE. I FUCKING LOVE IT SO MUCH

yay we’re finally gonna get started

WOW the gap between first place and third place in that first competition was a whopping 9,999,800 points, apparently. lmao

that’s not how point distribution usually works, U.A. but, you do you

so my boy Kacchan has Sero and Mina on his team in addition to Kirishima. Sero’s tape skills will definitely come in handy offensively. and Mina... FUCKING WHAT IS YOUR POWER ALREADY, MINA. at this point I really need to know, because the anime seems to assume that everyone watching already knows, so they have no problem showing it, and so whenever she comes up on screen I have to like shield my eyes and block my ears because I don’t want to be spoiled :/

(ETA: this was a thorn in my side for so long, it’s a relief to finally not have to worry lol)

and now our second place winner from the previous match, Todoroki, who’s worth... 205 points

this is like fucking Quidditch. why even have other parts of the game. just everybody go after the damn snitch

not wasting any time, I see

honestly it’s kind of a waste to go after him right off the bat, unless you’re Todoroki and your team has a nearly unbeatable defense. whoever gets Deku’s headband first is just gonna paint a target on their own backs. I expect Bakugou to go for it anyway, of course, but really it’s just stupid

and that’s, of course, assuming that Deku and his surprisingly excellent team can’t fend them off regardless

yes, Steel Ryohei, everyone does indeed know that

omg

you go, Hagakure. honestly, the odds seem pretty damn stacked against your team, but best of luck

god I’m struggling with Tokoyami’s name. but I won’t give up!! PLUS ULTRA

anyway so he asks Deku what they should do and Deku’s like RUN AWAY DUH

uh oh looks like that’s not gonna be quite so easy

this vizard guy appears to have a quicksand quirk or some sort. quicksand has always traditionally been a millennial thing. who gave you permission to take it

well, Ochako, better get to it

OH WAIT

LOOOOOOL I FORGOT ABOUT THE JETPACK

JETPAAAAAACK

jetpacks are also a millennial thing, but fine, just let all these gen z manga kids take all of our cool stuff then. that’s what happens when the series is being written by a millennial, I guess

I sure hope Deku is having the time of his life right now

Jirou is going after them with her headphone jacks lol. what are those gonna do

couldn’t even get close

that’s so cool that his shadow can take care of even the stuff they don’t see coming

I just went back to chapters 5 and 7 to check Toko’s rankings, and he got 9th overall in the practical part of the entrance exam, and then 5th in the gym tests they did with Aizawa on the first day. so he’s a pretty big threat all things considered

Deku does indeed seem to be having the time of his life!

I like watching these kids fly around and have fun

apparently everyone is weightless except Ochako! good job not puking so far, Ochako! you’ve gotten stronger!!

oh wow, bit of a jealous moment for her here after Deku offhandedly praises Mei

YOU’RE BOTH GREAT, LET’S ALL BE FRIENDS AND NOT FIGHT

Hagakure’s headband has been snatched! whoops

looks like that Viktor Nikiforov-looking guy has taken it

what was it even worth, anyway, like 20 points? just sit the rest of this one out guys

I guess it’s still worth going after everyone else’s headbands, given that second place, third place, etc. are still worth fighting for if you can’t get those 10 million points for first

here comes Shouji with his hidden Mineta

oh shit Mineta’s stupid fucking grapes have gotten stuck to the cool moon shoes that Mei made

just take them off then I guess

OH SHIT THEY’VE GOT TSUYU TOO

I FUCKING KNEW WHOEVER GOT HER ON THEIR TEAM WOULD BE GETTING THEIR MONEY’S WORTH

I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT LITTLE SHIT MINETA TRIES ANYTHING WITH HER IN CLOSE QUARTERS, I’M CALLING ENDEAVOR TO COME OVER HERE AND LIGHT HIM ON FIRE

ahahaha and here comes this lunatic at last

Kacchan also seems to be having the time of his life somehow

oooh! he tried to blast them but Toko even managed to block that!

lollll. never stop making weird faces my dear son

now Sero’s snagging him back, since he was just flying around on his own up there

apparently it’s legal for him to do that as long as his feet don’t touch the ground

so he can just go flying around all Tsuna-style as much as he wants, with Sero there to catch him at the end

do any of these pro heroes want this boy as their sidekick yet?? I’ll be pretty pissed at them if they don’t

(ETA: 3500 draft picks... I’ll take it.)

everyone is talking about how awesome class A is

and now everyone’s going “WHAT?” and “OHH?!” all of a sudden! what’s going on?

OH DAMN. SOMEONE TOOK BOTH BAKUGOU AND MINETA’S HEADBANDS

there appear to be two teams from class B with a ton of points all of a sudden, so I’m pointing fingers in that direction!

but worth noting that Todoroki has also amassed a total of 615 points now, so he’s clearly been busy as well!

Bakugou probably got his snatched while he was flying around without a care in the world solely focused on grabbing Deku’s band

oh wow it was even easier than that

THIS BOY GOT SOME MOVES HOT DAMN

and now he’s bragging about how class B purposely hung back in the first event and focused on observing the other class’s quirks instead

don’t go getting such a big head just yet, kid. come back to me once you’ve taken a stab at Izu’s headband why don’t you. you’re not the only one who hasn’t shown his quirk yet

also, what a stupid thing to be bragging about. again, the whole point of the sports festival is to show off. if you’re gonna hang back and hide then what’s even the point. I guess some of the pros watching might be impressed with your strategizing, but personally I wouldn’t have risked getting eliminated without getting the chance to do something to catch the audience’s eye

damn this kid is really going all in on his insult fest now

okay, this is at least the second time that incident has been brought up since Bakugou came to U.A. it was definitely a bigger deal than I thought. for someone like Bakugou, it can’t exactly be enjoyable to have everyone recognize you from an incident in which you were a helpless victim and needed to have your ass bailed out. that’s like the exact opposite of what he wants to be known for

and it’s a pretty fucking low blow to bring that up, no matter how obnoxiously he was running his mouth at the start of the competition. Bakugou, you have my permission to tear this guy a new one should the opportunity present itself

and now he’s snapped

I think this Viktor guy is underestimating what he’s gotten himself into here, but also Bakugou is most likely playing right into his hands by predictably getting enraged and forgetting about the real target

class B really went and created a whole rivalry with class A out of thin fucking air

well if that’s how it’s gonna be, I hope class A makes a comeback and shows everyone just why they were so hyped up to begin with

uh oh, now Deku’s starting to feel safe, what with everyone going after other teams. MISTAKE

oh dang

:D :D :D this is so much fun. GO ON AND RASSLE THEN

BONUS: 

MY GIRL MIDNIGHT

“FAVORITE THINGS: VIBRANT YOUTH, THRILLS”

LOL SHE WAS ALMOST THE HOMEROOM TEACHER

HER NORMAL CLOTHES ARE SO NORMAL, BUT I GUESS HER DAY TO DAY UNIFORM IS SO SPICY THAT WHEN IT COMES TO HER EVERYDAY CLOTHES, SHE JUST WANTS TO RELAX AND CHILL

I ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HER QUIRK IS THOUGH LOL

(ETA: based on her use of it at the end of the finals, seems to be some kind of sleeping gas type thing that knocks people out)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #tokoyami fumikage #uraraka ochako #bakugou katsuki #midnight #lol I read so many chapters yesterday that these recap chapters are becoming more and more distant #if I was fast enough to put up more than one a day I'd seriously consider it #but it takes too long and that's valuable time I could be using to read more chapters lmao #gotta say so far the sports festival is still the standout arc #I've still got more than two thirds of the series to go though #so we'll see what's to come!

[ilovehatembj]

Man Up Part 4

This was sitting in my drafts and I was stuck for awhile so I’m doing a 4.5 after this. A ton of dialogue sorry kinda a plot, fluff I guess too🙃

For the past three weeks you and Odell have been going back and forth between New York and LA to visit each other. You guys even managed to have time to see your cousin Vic and tell him about your guys’ relationship, a weight had officially been lifted off of your shoulders. You and Odell were on the way to the airport so that he could drop you off for your flight laughing at one of his corny jokes when he cleared his voice, “So, we’re gonna be on a red carpet together in a week for the first time as an official couple and I haven’t met your family...besides Vic, and you haven’t met mine.” “An official couple?! Boy I was just trynna hit it and quit it, I’m not catching feelings”.

Odell deadpanned over to you, “Yeah okay, why you ain’t quit it yet? Do you normally cook bomb-ass breakfast for niggas when you quit it?” “You slang good beefcake and breakfast was my parting gift” “I’m being serious baby….” “I’m being kinda serious” you say laughing, “ Look I’ve already met your mom at Vics several times before and I’ve met her through passing at tons of events. As far as my parents go you literally know my dad and you’ve met my mom before, what’s the big deal?” “As true as all of that is its not the same. Meeting somebody’s family as a couple is different than meeting them through passing.” “Dawg, I don’t even wanna meet my family. I’ve been asking my mom to put my brothers back in her stomach since I was born, can’t stand them niggas” “Don’t make me call Vic and have him call ya fine ass momma, I seen her smack Vic upside the head so I know you gon get it” “Fine, I’ll talk to her when I land” “Nah, call her right here.”

“You ugly”, you pulled out your phone and pulled up your mom’s number putting her on speaker and she answered right as Odell said, “I get prettier each time you ride my face, I could use a quick touch-up.” “Odell!”. Finally your mom chimed in “Y/N! Where the hell you at and who the hell is that?!” Odell’s eyes got wide and his mouth dropped. “H-hey mommy. I was just uh calling you to tell you something.” “What is it? Take your time cause your dad trynna stretch me out for the third time today and chile I don’t have the energy.” “Momma! You’re on speakerphone!” “With who?” “My boyfriend!” “That’s what you get, you know better.” Odell silently cracking up the whole time your mom is revealing too much information about her and your father. “Is your boyfriend that lil big headed boy that was at Vic’s house? The one you was on the Shaderoom with? What’s his name? Uh-uh Austin...no, Odyssey….no,no, my bad its Or-” Odell suddenly chimes in, “Odell, Ms. Y/M/N. My name is Odell. We met at Vic and Elaina’s.” You just had to facepalm yourself, if Odell wasn’t gonna leave you cause your weird ass ex then it was definitely gonna be your rude ass parents.

“Anyway, I shouldn’t have to find out that my daughter has a new man through Instagram. Especially because I gave nine months and whole a 34 hours to bring you into this world.” “Jesus Christ here we go with this story” “You damn right here we go with this story! My bladder hasn’t been the same since I pushed you out!” “Okay momma, are you going to the awards Sunday?” “Uh duh” “Okay well you and daddy can meet Odell this weekend okay?” “Only if you tell him and your brothers you got a boyfriend. I am not dealing with their questions and tantrums.” You really were the baby out of the three of y’all and they protected you as such so it was expected that they would have questions after you just left a chaotic relationship. “Okay, bye momma” “Bye Ms. Y/M/N!” “Bye, y’all”.

By time you ended the call with your mom Odell was about 5 minutes from the airport, “So you wanna hear me tell my dad that we’re together? I promise it’s way more entertaining than that.” “If by entertaining you mean pride and soul crushing,I’m good lil homie.” “Okay well I wanna hear you tell Ms. Heather. Don’t tell her I’m in the car either” you look him up and down cutting your eyes at him and he handed you his phone, “Go to her number and call her. She’ll come in on bluetooth.” “What’s she under?” Odell looked down laughing, “Don’t laugh, look under mommy” “I’ve heard worse”.

You pressed the call icon and his phone rang twice before his mom picked up, “Hi baby!” “Hey mommy” “To what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call from my son. The very same son who I have not seen in weeks might I add” “Well I’m doing swell mommy! How are you dear?” “I’ll be better once I know why you’re calling while I’m trying to get ready for my date.” “I was calling because I had some good news. You wanna guess what it is” “I love you son but I really don’t. I have things to do boy now come on! Damn.” “You really know how to ruin a moment” “That’s the same thing I said when I saw I was pregnant with you. Now if you called to play I gotta go” “No mommy, wait. I got her.” “You got who? Who’d you kidnap? Do we need to get Olivia Pope?” “No listen, please follow what I’m saying” He took a deep frustrated breath, “I got her. I got Y/N mama!” “Oh shit son! You finally took my advice and got you a queen huh? When I can I meet her? Oh send me her number! I need her advice on this face wash. Face wash…. Oh my lord my grandbabies gonna have good skin!” You were sitting the passenger seat DYING of laughter and all Odell could do was look over at you smirking. “Who is that? You know I don’t like being on speaker with strangers boy” “Hi Ms. Heather!” “Hey puddin’! I didn’t know you were in the car with that boy” “Ms. Heather your son told me not to say a word or he was gonna make take a taxi to the airport.”,he looked over to you with wide eyes looking around like you were talking about someone else. “Odell don’t make me kick your ass, you know better.” “Momma she’s lying” “No she’s not I know you goodbye.” “Ms. Heather before you go I was wondering if you wanted to get together with my family this weekend in LA since its awards weekend. My mom and aunt Blanca will be there.” “Yeah sweetheart I’ll be there, send me the details cause you can’t have that boy do nothing. Bye-bye”.

Odell pulled up to the airport and got out and grabbed your bags. “I should make you carry your own stuff cause you got me in trouble with Heather ass” “You got yourself in trouble with Heather ass, now hurry so I don’t miss this flight”. Y’all were really out here arguing like a married couple.

@melanisticroyalty @royallyprincesslilly @theunsweetenedtruth @leahnicole1219 @eriksbabymama @sweettea-and-honeybutter @Ljstraightnochaser @amethyst1993 @laketaj24 @daytimeheroicsonly @uhlxis @drsunshine97 @supernovaah @muse-of-mbaku @zuzuspanda @chefjessypooh @purple-apricots @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @cockyboysandsugarism @destinio1 @siriuslycollins @texasbama @dreadedphilosphy @blackmisfitsunite @cool-pen-name @madamslayyy @slimmiyagi @blackchickfics @omg-blackqueen @blue-ishx @maliadestiny @yourstrulyylauren @poeticallymindlesshippy @jaaystaar95

[franeridart]

would it be possible for you to draw the three bakusquad couples hanging out together? (bakushima, kamijirou, and seromina)

Anon said:could you maybe draw some seromina? i feel like the ship doesn’t get enough love and they’re really cute together

I’ve had a comic about all three ships drafted for an age, maybe I’ll finally finish it later today!! :0

Anon said:Love your Bakushima stuff! It keeps me going through the hell I am in ;w;

Thank you!!! I’m sorry you’re not currently in a good place tho, anon ;^; I hope all the best will come your way soon!

Anon said:so i checked your FAQ and it doesn't mention anything about commissions, which i suppose maybe links in with the whole no requests thing? anyway, feel free to ignore this ask if you don't and never will do commissions but know that i'm here with my wallet open if you ever do lololol

Thank you so much for the interest??? Commissions are an idea that I’ve been tossing around in my head for the past month or so, actually - I’m not promising anything, but I might actually open them soon enough!

Anon said:Who is bottom, Bakugou or kirishima

This isn’t that sort of blog anon!!! No n//sfw talks around here

Anon said:You got any kaminai angst hc?

This is also not that sort of blog!!! No angst talks around here either! sorry to disappoint both of you, tho I would have assumed that was actually pretty obvious from the blog itself hahaha

Anon said:i love your art so much but there's something about the little chibi extras that make me want to squee and cry at the same time, they're sO CUTE

THANK YOU!!!!! Drawinf chibis has always been one of the most relaxing things for me, those extras are always 100% self-indulgence so knowing you like them makes me really happy!!! :D

Anon said:I just want to tattoo one of your kiribakus drawing on my back, can i?

I don’t know why you’d want to do that tbh hahaha

Anon said:Idk if you're into greek mythology but if kiribaku were put into the eros and psyche myth who do you think each one would be?

Hmmm to be honest I can’t say I feel like they fit either particularly well, but if I had to pick Baku would be Psyche and Kiri Eros, I feel :0

Anon said:Hi!!! I love your art sooo much!! Especially those comics where the bakusquad are turned into babies! SO CUTE I WAS DYING. Do you think you’ll ever do it again?

Ahhhhhhhh thank you so much for liking those, anon!! I don’t think I’ll ever pick up te exact same idea again, tho ;^; sorry, maybe a variation of it but not that same one

Anon said:I miss your Haikyuu fanart, particularly your BoKuroo stuff. The next season needs to happen.

!! well, I can’t say a new season is gonna change much as far as my content output is concerned, sadly - I’m also following the manga, after all haha

Anon said:I shall always reblog everything you create. They are all masterpieces.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

Anon said:What post was it please share im in need

I’m sORRY it was a long long time ago and I never properly tagged it orz

Anon said:The poke thing.... OMG YOU KILL ME WTFFFF. So fucking cute, blasty baby. Your art make me so happy u dont have an idea! (In a manly way obvly haha) Thank u so much♡

!!!! thank you for liking it, anon!!!!!

Anon said:Okay last night at like 4am I looked at one of your fluffy kiribaku comics, and I don't even remember which one, but I saw it and began c r y i n g and I only remembered now

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh man I didn’t mean to make you cry??? Thank you for liking my stuff that much, tho!!

Anon said:Do you have any tips on how to draw hands and feet? I'm tired of drawing people with what look like claws and hooves

Somewhere in my #tutorials or #art tips tag there should be something about hands I did a while ago? But honestly anon the only real tip I can give you is to use a lot of references and draw them a lot, which sounds useless but it’s really how I’m learning how to draw them orz 

Anon said: your art is so absolutely phenomenally unique and just, GORGEOUS. it makes me so happy and it makes me smile and just. i love it so much, thank you for sharing it with us

SOB thank you SO MUCH seriously oh my g o d ;O;

Anon said:lol anon from a previous ask about the lack of noses, I appreciate the detailed explanation. I thought I was going to get a simple "because I don't feel like it" which is cool too, I still appreciate the time you took to answer me

It’s okay! I have reasons for everything I do with my style (tho most of it boils down to I’m a very lazy person haha) so I don’t really mind that sorta questions! :D

Anon said:Did I ever tell you how much I fucking love you, and your art ❤️❤️❤️💗💖💓💞💘💕💝💗💓💖❣️💕💘💓💞💝💓💖💘💓💘💘💕

AAAHHHH THANK YOU!!!!

Anon said:You are honestly one of my favorite artists ever just because of your art style and because you're pretty much exclusively a kiribaku and bakysquad artist!

I do tend to draw a ton for that specific group right now, don’t I hahaha I’m glad you’re enjoying it!!!

Anon said:Consider this: Bakugou with glasses

oHO but I already did consider that :D

Anon said:I just wanna say thanks love for providing me with bakushima fluff it’s quite rare to see art of it so your my Bakushima fluff supply love ya!

I’m glad you’re enjoying it! Is it really rare tho? I feel like all the krbk I see around is fluff hahaha

Anon said:Dude, dude, DUDE, I LOVE YOUR ART SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THE BNHA FANDOM ANYMORE (I wasn't a big fan of the protagonist) BUT I ALWAYS COME BACK TO YOUR BLOG!

HOLY HECK THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I really hope that season 3 means we'll see hardened!kiri and the third years being animated.

Awww I really don’t think so, anon ;^; my guess is that Eri’s arc and the Big Three will be the beginning of s4 :(

Anon said:wait pls list some amazing blogs that you like im so curious to know where you draw inspiration from also I LOVE YOU

Ahhhh I love you too!!!! And if we’re talking about blogs that inspire me then !!! taro-k,  motekill,  sunflower-squad,  itsdanfango,  oikws,  jeanrydeart,  syblatortue (blog’s n//sfw, blah blah, you know the drill) camilleto, kimoidane, naeuri, l1ng, seventypercentethanol, natroze, andatsea, and that’s, just, the first I could come up with and only a minimal part of them seriously there’s so many great artists on this site orz

Anon said:Hey there! Firstly, I love your art it's stunning. Secondly, what are your fav ships from bnha aside from kamijiro and kiribaku? personay I enjoy todomomo and dekuraraka :))

OH thank you!!!!! And I’d say erasermic and most of any combination between the squad kids, really hahaha

Anon said:I have never even though about the noselessness (what is english language) of your art :D My brain has just slide aside that fact and after reading the anon's ask I went: What? They don't? Oh, they don't :D Your style is so expressive :D I love it

HECK thank you SO MUCH !!!!!!

Anon said:hey fran I would DIE for u

pLEASE DON’T DIE

Anon said:Would you draw Erasermic?

Hell yeah I would, after all I already have in the past hahaha

#fran answers #replies replies replies #hope you all have a nice day btw! today's nice here!! #the sun's high and i'm feeling g o o d #:D #anonymous

[putschki1969]

Japan Travel Diary 🎌

Okay, here it is, a more or less thorough report of my Japan trip in January (which mostly consisted of doing Kalafina-related stuff so I thought it might be interesting for some of you XD). Sorry, this is like 5 million years overdue. @mello-chi‘s comment about looking forward to my upcoming Japan trip reports actually reminded me that I still had this post in my drafts so I thought I better finish this now before I have to write another one XD

Without further ado, let’s get to it 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

January 14 (Sunday) This was my first ever non-direct flight to Japan so I was not looking forward to it. I boarded my plane at around 10 am (Austrian time), I arrived in Paris at around noon and I landed at Narita Airport at around 9 am the next day (January 15 - Monday). Here’s a rare selfie of little me waiting to board the plance wearing my beloved Cakey bomber jacket by Lily Brown (it kept me warm during the flight ^_^). PS: Excuse the excessive use of filters in this pic. I was wearing no make-up.

You know what I find annoying, they have all these Japanese artists like LiSA and Nana Mizuki in the plane music library but absolutely NO Kalafina. Why?? And no, you don’t need to answer that, it was more of a rhetorical question anyways. I know of course that for some weird reason Kalafina aren’t as popular as those other artists….but still, so frustrating… I ended up watching a ton of movies :P I really envy people who can sleep during a flight.

January 15 (Monday) I didn’t do much that day tbh. I was too exhausted from my flight. I am glad they let me check in early at my hotel (which was in Kanda btw – very convenient location for tourists if you ask me) After I had freshened up a little at the hotel I did make a short trip to Akihabara to check if I could find any second hand Kala goods. That day I found a Blue Day wristband, a KNGNN postcard and a cheap Consolation Pamphlet (something I had always wanted but I never felt like paying the full price on CDJapan). Throughout my stay I managed to find quite a lot of stuff actually but more on that later. Here’s a sneak peek tho XD

January 16 (Tuesday) This day was dedicated to shopping. I think I spent almost an entire day in the Shinjuku/Harajuku/Shibuya area. I bought a bunch of Disney stuff and Pikachu merch for my sister and nephew respectively and then I searched through all the Kala-clothing stores trying to find some WaKei outfits. I am super happy because I got my hands on this cute patchwork skirt by Redyazel, the one that Keiko wore quite recently for the Songful Days promo video. I also bought a matching top because they had a special “buy 2 pieces and get 30% off” deal. I can never resist deals like that even though they actually make you spend even more money in the end XD (sadly, they didn’t have the turtleneck sweater that Keiko is wearing here)

After looking through each and every Lily Brown store in Tokyo I finally found this =>The long cardigan Keiko wore in Nikko (it’s so cute and warm!).

Aside from that, I didn’t really find anything else. I came across the Fig&Viper pullover Keiko recently wore but meh, that’s not really my style and it was still quite expensive. I also saw the Mila Owen dress that Wakana wore a while back but it just wasn’t worth the money (and now I regret not buying it T_T).

January 17 (Wednesday) In the morning I went to visit the lesser known Shinagawa Aquarium which – sorry Wakana – was VERY underwhelming and I can totally understand why it’s not as popular as the other one. The only cool thing was the free shuttle bus, it had a cute design. The aquarium itself looked quite run-down and it was much smaller than I expected. But hey, I met Shirowani-san and I got to touch a dolphin which was pretty epic. Of course I had to eat the parfait that Keiko ordered when she was at the aquarium together with Wakana back in the summer time. It was really yummy but it definitely wasn’t the best day to eat it because afterwards, I was freezing my butt off. Oh well, the things I do for Cakey XD

I really wanted to buy the cute shark backpack but it was just way too expensive T_T Forever sad...Now I regret not buying it. Then again, it’s not really my style.

In the afternoon I met up with my friend Pae and I finally received my goods from the Harmony events and the Acoustic Tour. BANZAI! As for the Harmony event merch, I got the black t-shirt, the blue parka and the keyholder. From the Acoustic Live goods, I got the pamphlet, the clearfile and the postcard set. (I love the black t-shirt SO MUCH! I have worn it a lot since I have gotten back)

Together Pae and I went on a quest to find more Kala-goodies and I got lucky once again. I found two old singles, a limited edition of Magia and a regular edition of Hikari no Senritsu (one of these days my singles collection will be complete XD But I have to be patient because I just don’t wanna pay full price for singles >_>). Aside from that I also bought the limited edition of the Seventh Heaven album which includes the live DVD. They also had a BEST Red Day cup for sale at Radio Kaikan (one of the many tokutens from back in the day) but meh, I didn’t feel like getting it. I wonder if any of you bought it? They also had a FOTW and 9+ONE pamphlet and a few other CDs (but I already own all of those so I ignored them). After my meet-up with Pae, I made a trip to Roppongi to eat at my first out of many Kalafina-restaurants/cafés. That’s when it started raining heavily (so annoying) but at least I found the place rather quickly (thanks to google maps!) I went to the very popular Tsurutontan where they serve huge bowls of udon!! I ordered Katsu Curry Udon (my favourite) and some yummy fried dumplings on the side (OMG, they were SO FREAKING GOOD!!)

The food was delicious but it was a little too much for me. XD Curry soup is much more filling than regular soup. And I underestimated the dumplings quite a bit, they were also super filling. I had intended to go to the Manon Mimie store afterwards but I wasn’t feeling like getting drenched in the rain so I headed back to my hotel. I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t end up going because I messaged the store that night and asked them if they still had the Cakey clothes in stock and turns out they don’t *forever sad* I should have tried to find a way to order it back then when the pretty skirt and sweater were still in stock.

January 18 (Thursday) The first half of this day was dedicated to visiting the Imperial Palace. If you arrive early enough you can make a same-day reservation for a tour so that’s what I did. It was an interesting tour for sure and the weather was amazing!!! After the tour was over I decided to walk to Budokan since I was already in the area. I wanted to check out the venue to make sure I wouldn’t get lost on the day of the concert. At that point I was getting quite tired (and super hungry) so it was time for yet another Kala-food-experience. I took the subway to the Akasaka area and paid a visit to the gorgeous café/restaurant/bar La Maison Kioi (the place where the girls had their special SPICE off-day interview). It was so fancy and pretty. I ordered a crazy expensive Afternoon Tea Set but it was totally worth the money, it was incredibly yummy!!! Once I had eaten each and every single piece of food on that tray, I made my way to Shibuya/Harajuku to do some more shopping. This time I came across this gorgeous red skirt that Wakana has been wearing quite frequently. I think I never actually made a post about this skirt o.O A fellow fan on twitter discovered it right before my trip to Japan and when I saw it in the store I obviously couldn’t resist. On my way home I made another stopover in Akihabara and I found the limited edition of the 5th Anniversary Live Selection album. Had to get it of course XD

January 19 (Friday) On Friday I bought my 3-Day-JR-Tokyo-Wide Pass to do some traveling outside of Tokyo. It was another gorgeous sunny day, perfect for touristy stuff ^_^ The first place on my list was Kamakura. There’s lots of nice stuff to see but I mainly wanted to go there because it was the destination of Keiko’s 60 km walk on New Year’s Day back in 2014 (OMG, has it already been four years!!??) One of these days I wanna do that kind of thing as well. I went to see the big buddha of course and I also checked out some of the surrounding shrines and temples. At first I wanted to go to Enoshima as well but then I decided against it, didn’t really feel like going there. Not a fan of beaches anyways. I took the train back to Tokyo but got off in Yokohama (the second place on my list) where I also did some sightseeing. But first I needed to restore my energy so I had some late lunch in Yokohama Chinatown at Jogenro (the restaurant where Wakana ate her shark fin course – she went to the place in Tokyo tho). I really wanted to try the shark fin lunch menu but they wouldn’t let me order it since it is meant for two people T_T Such a shame! The only downside to traveling alone, getting food is troublesome. Then again, if you have company it’s even more of a hassle because it’s hard to find something that everyone likes. Also, tbh, I probably wouldn’t have been a huge fan of the shark stuff anyways so maybe it was for the best. Either way, since I couldn’t have my shark lunch, I decided on one of their regular lunch menus. Wahhh! So tasty!! I love Chinese food! It was too much tho, so many different things to eat, I almost exploded towards the end but I really wanted to finish everything. I hate wasting good food. In dire need to walk off all the calories I had just put into my body, I explored the rest of Yokohama. I walked to Mirai Minato to check out the two Red Brick Warehouses. Back in 2011 and then once again in 2014 Kalafina performed their Christmas Lives at the Red Brick Warehouse. They have mentioned on multiple occasions that this is a very special place for them. Of course I also had to ring the bell of happiness. ^_^ I couldn’t leave Yokohama without riding the Ferris-wheel so I did that in the evening when the sun was setting. I had a great view of the city up there. Later on I managed to take some nice pictures of the colourful and sparkling Ferris-wheel at dusk. And that’s a wrap for my first day-trip outside of Tokyo.

January 20 (Saturday) On Saturday I took the train to Nikkō. One of the main reasons I purchased the JR Wide Pass was because I wanted to take the Shinkansen to Utsunomiya. It’s much more convenient than the other options. And then I got to ride the Nikkō Line which looks really cool. I think you all know why I traveled to Nikkō XD I wanted to see the venue of Kalafina’s World Heritage Special Live. During my last Japan trips I already got the chance to visit Nara and see Kōfuku-ji but I had never been to Nikkō before. And hey, even if Kalafina hadn’t performed there I still would have liked to see Tōshōgū, it’s absolutely gorgeous. And *weeee* I got to witness a traditional wedding. Everyone was all dressed up and the bride looked stunning!! Afterwards I explored the area for a while and walked around a lot. (I walked so much during my Japan trip) I was considering going to see the waterfalls as well but I thought it might not be the best season to experience it in all its beauty and glory. I’ll come back some day soon, I promise! In the afternoon I returned to Tokyo and I once again found myself in the Roppongi area to eat some Kala-food :P Literally the only reason I went to these fancy schmancy areas was to eat at Kalafina restaurants/cafés. This time I ate at “The Counter Roppongi”, the place where Keiko had her YOLO burger meal this winter. I wanted to order the same burger that she had gotten but turns out it had all kinds of weird ingredients (like mushrooms >_>) so I ended up ordering a chicken burger XD I think that might have been the best burger and some of the most delicious fries I have ever eaten. Really impressed! The only thing I could have lived without was the overly sweet brioche bun. It just doesn’t go well with savoury food. I don’t understand why you would use a brioche bun for a burger, doesn’t make sense to me at all o.O Is it a Japanese thing? Or maybe an American thing?

January 21 (Sunday) I took the special Holiday train to Kawaguchiko because I wanted to get a clear view of Mount Fuji. The mountain was still visible while I was on the train but slowly but surely clouds started gathering around it and by the time I had arrived at my destination, Mount Fuji was hidden completely T_T It’s a real shame. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, it was literally perfect weather but each and every cloud in the area had decided to cuddle up to Mount Fuji. I think I made the mistake of taking the later train. I should have taken the train at like 7am or something. Apparently chances of seeing Mount Fuji are highest before 9 am and I think that’s true, I am sure I would have gotten a good view if I had been there earlier. I was there at like 9:30-10:00 and that’s just too late. Oh well, we all learn from our mistakes. In two week’s time I will be closer to Mount Fuji than I have ever been XD I didn’t want my trip to be wasted so I still took the ferry across the lake and of course I took the Kachi Kachi Ropeway which ascends to an observation point near the summit of Mount Tenjo, from where Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji can be seen. Riding that cablecar was rather unpleasant because it was jam-packed. I wasn’t aware you could even squeeze that many people into a cablecar. I got some nice views despite there being no sign of Mount Fuji. Afterwards I bought a bunch of souvenirs for my coworkers and took the train back home again. I really love all the train designs! So cute! Since I still had my JR Pass I thought I’d use it for a few trips along the Yamanote Line. I was trying to avoid using my Suica as much as possible as long as I had the JR Pass XD One of my stops was Ikebukuro. I am not a huge fan of the area but I still wanted to see if I could find anything interesting. Bought some more Pikachu merch for my nephew at the Pokemon Center and then I did some window shopping. A girl-group was performing at Sunshine City while I was there but I didn’t stay long enough to figure out who they were. People were going crazy about them tho so I guess they might have been popular. Who knows. Either way, with all these people occupied the shops were pretty empty so that’s definitely a good thing (especially on a Sunday where it’s usually busy as hell). For dinner I had yummy Coco Curry (for once not Kalafina related :P).

January 22 (Monday) a.k.a. Crazy Snow Day This was the day of our tumblr fan meetup. Probably the worst day we could have chosen but hey, what can you do? And it’s not like any of us could have known that it would snow so heavily. It’s almost funny because I am always in Tokyo when crazy snow storms happen. I was there in 2014 as well. XD Thank God I am more or less used to snow (which is something that can’t be said about most of my fellow-fans that were at the meetup). I took things slowly that day since I was already stressing out about the meetup. I went to Akihabara again and this time I found a FOTW wristband in one of the second hand stores. BANZAI. Back in 2016 when I went to see the FOTW Special Finals I actually forgot to buy a wristband. This has annoyed me for the longest time but I didn’t feel like buying it online so yeah, this was definitely a lucky find. Yippie!! Then I went to Don Quijote to buy some more souvenirs (mostly chocolates). I’ll be eating all this stuff foe the next few weeks. :P So far my favourite purchase is Hokkaido Melon Kit Kat. The BEST Kit Kat I have ever had! It’s so DAMN amazing, I regret not buying more T_T When I got back to my hotel I had to figure out a way to squeeze all the chocolates into my luggage without everything getting crumbled on the flight back home. I think I managed pretty well. I had some sandwiches for late lunch and then I headed to Shinjuku to do some more (window) shopping and to wait for everyone to arrive at the Karaoke place. Sorry again @okeuphemia, we totally kept missing each other at Lumine Est. And sorry to everyone else who had a hard time finding Karaoke Kan. I know it must have been quite the hassle for some of you, especially in this horrible weather. But thankfully, almost everyone managed to get there (eventually). My apologies to Jimmy who didn’t make it! Maybe next time (if there ever is a next time :P) I hope you all had a good time at the meetup. There were way more people than I originally expected and we had some hardcore karaoke singers amongst us (you all rocked btw!!) so we weren’t really able to talk properly but I think it was still nice for most of you. Sorry if I seemed a bit awkward, I am just not very comfortable being among such a big crowd of people. I am glad a few of us decided to leave early and grab a cup of coffee, it gave me the chance to get to know some of you a little bit better. It’s really nice to finally know who is hiding behind those tumblr nicknames (shout out to @audiojapanstyle for just being a super nice and comforting presence!) And hey, such a funny coincidende, that day I found out that @theraspberrybushes  and I stayed at the same hotel. We ended up going back together in the heavy snow.Sorry for always rushing ahead. >_<

January 23 I pretty much covered the entire day in my live report but I haven’t talked about my after live activities yet so I guess I will do it here. Originally I had just planned to go back to the hotel to get some sleep. After all I was supposed to fly back home the next morning so I wanted to get some much needed rest. However, my friend Pae convinced me to go have dinner with a few Japanese Kala-fans. I am glad she did because it was actually very nice. But once again, there were way more people than expected (slightly overwhelming – even Hachimaki was there; it felt like I had been invited to an elite Kalafina fan meet-up XD). We went to a Chinese restaurant and had some yummy gyoza. Literally the entire place was filled with Kala-fans XD We didn’t stay there for long so thankfully I didn’t get home too late. Right before we left I managed to REALLY embarrass myself when one of the Japanese Kala-fans approached me. I wasn’t aware he wanted to talk to me, I thought he was trying to get past me or something so when he started talking I turned away from him. Pae had to literally drag me back to him and then I realised he had wanted to start a conversation. Major fail. That’s why I keep telling people that I suck at social interactions. Oh well, we ended up talking about Vienna, seems like he travels there quite frequently for work. Having dinner with all these fellow Kala-fans was a really nice end to an already amazing day. I even have a couple of pictures to remind me of that little meet-up.

Okay, this is officially the end of my travel report. Congratulations to everyone who read the whole thing. I hope it wasn’t too boring. I have lots of Kalafina activities planned for my next trip so I am super hyped ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪

#kalafina #personal #travel diary #putschki holmes #stalker putschki #long post #text heavy #picture heavy #long overdue #getting rid of all of my drafts XD #rare selfie