#once again i should be asleep

[krysmcscience]

I will be the first to admit I'm not the best at drawing animal or furry characters, but I wanted to get something scribbled down in my Non-Goof style, anyway. Plus, I've been enjoying the many reference pages folks were posting of their own designs for the Lamb and Narinder, so, uh. Here's mine, I guess! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

do not comment on how long narinder's tail is or i swear to the lamb i will make it even longer next time >:]

#fanart #cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #narilamb #tagging the ship because Your Honor They're Married #teeny tiny lamb and big boi narinder is my weakness leave me alone DX #i gave narinder a stupidly long tail because my own cat has a stupidly long tail and i make fun of him for it all the time #this is important to me for A Reason - which is that i enjoy adding even more reasons for people to make fun of narinder #he is my special boi and my poor little meow meow and thus i must violently shake him like he's the world's shittiest maraca #why else would i give him a long majestic cloak but then just have him wear a stupid turtleneck tunic under it and no fukken pants #there is no way that asshole has any sense of fashion - he has been out of touch with it and reality for at least one (1) millennium #anyway narinder's cloak can definitely be pulled closed to look like his standard in-game attire #also shh the lamb has plenty of wool to cover them and thus doesn't need any Censor Leaves #do NOT cite them for public indecency because that is racial discrimination against sheep and thus It Is W R O N G #btw i know i draw the lamb kinda cutesy-feminine but i promise you their gender is an eldritch void #VOID I SAY #what's in their pants? a knife #the time knife specifically (that's the eldritch part) #it might look like narinder has yaoi hands here but that's just because he's Bein' Spooky #i swear i headcanon him with normal size hands XD #also i finally drew scars on his wrists!!! i DO headcanon him with those but i try to keep designs simple in my Goofs Style lmao #once again i should be asleep

[0multifandomweirdo0]

Sometimes, I wonder if Runaan will be disappointed that Rayla isn't the assassin he wanted her to be

#her family is so messed up it broke her #callum glued her back together #again and again #pretty sure he will have to do it once again #and again #because her family reunion cannot be that smooth and happy #i should be asleep #ah the feelings #help #i have a migraine #the dragon prince #tdp #the dragon prince mystery of aaravos #tdp mystery of aaravos #tdp moonfam #moon fam #tdp rayla #rayllum #tdp runaan #runaan

[deus-ex-mona]

when you’re trying to sleep but the 2 morons living rent free in your mind be like

#g o away moronxmoron l e m m e sleeeeeep #tried listening to the meoto preview with the auto captions on for the funsies and yujiro’s ‘anata no mono ni natteru’ t o o k me out aaaaaa #idk if that’s really what he’s saying for now bc my ears are rubbish bUT IF IT ISSSSSSSS #YUJIRO. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU BELONG TO AIZO ON MAIN H ELP #auauauauauauauauuauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #crisis be crisising this is not fair i just wanna sleeeeeep #at least the workweek’s 2/5 done… i can’t wait to spend the next week crying over lxl album 24/7 #pls album pspspspslspsps come in a day early again like the sukiitai album pspspspspsps i n e e d meoto full ver #man this is barely coherent i should really try harder to fall asleep ok gn see you when either last stage or white day kiss drops on friday #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME— #LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24

[blujayonthewing]

thinkin about how if gnomes are partially insectivorous and also live underground in the woods then Cicada Emergence is 1000% a huge cultural event, probably with religious significance, and cicadas would hold tremendous cultural importance both literally and symbolically

#<- in areas that have periodical cicada populations of course #me whenever nature does something cool: hey you could make a religion out of this #you COULD though!! #and once every 13 years happens a lot more often in a gnomish lifespan so they can more easily build solid traditions around it #it'd be a solid monthlong festival at least #observances for various stages of emergence; parades/ feast days/ festival days; lots of time spent gathering and cooking and preserving #harvest festival on steroids. extremely specific harvest festival #joy amd abundance IN ADDITION to any cicada symbolisms (life/ rebirth; perseverence; the primal need to stand up and scream sometimes; etc) #uh anyway I don't have a Good Post about this right now lol I'm in bed and should be asleep just rotating the concept in my mind (again) #about me #gnome stuff #worldbuilding

[a-very-fond-farewell]

opening the faucets in this c/hili’s tonight

#it’s my yearly viewing of ‘the farwell’ #I’m on minute 12 and I haven’t stopped crying since it started #had to pause it in order to look for a toilet paper roll #i cannot watch this with other people. I’ll be bawling my eyes out and they wouldn’t like that #moreover. I’m home alone and I allow myself a good cry only when nobody is around #last monday doesn’t count #also. I only cry during the day. crying at nighttime can’t do. my nose gets stuffy and I cannot fall asleep #it’s insane to have rules about crying ik #onlookers should play a drinking game while I watch this movie #take a shot every time niki starts crying again #I wasn’t a good grandchild. nor a good nieph. I’m not a good child either #so once a year I do this thing when I feel strong enough. #so. moral of the day. get your toilet paper ready folks #you might need it at unexpected times #sneaky niki #y do I do this to myself

[charliespringverse]

... it's just hit me that lister describes the bathroom kiss as assault and even when jimmy reassures him that he doesn't see it that way and doesn't have a problem with it, lister refuses to accept that it was anything other than objectively assault

while two days earlier jimmy insisted that a 32-yr-old having sex with lister at age 16 was wrong, despite lister not seeing it that way and not having a problem with it

does that mean that lister took that conversation on board but only as far as "the person on the receiving end of an advance can't accurately assess whether or not it was wrong" and is now equating himself to the woman that took advantage of him . because i will weep

#i am conflicted about the bathroom kiss to an extent #because on the one hand . do not kiss someone without asking dude wtf #but also . the difference in jimmy's response to it compared to the magnet situation which is? relatively similar #w magnet he was 'this is fine'ing his whole way through it and forcing himself to be ok with it and would've likely kept going if— #— lister hadn't interrupted it #whereas in the bathroom he is in an objectively worse mental state & more consistently dissociative despite being sober . yet he actively— #— considers it and almost goes along with it before deciding for Both his and lister's sakes not to #and i think his clarity & consideration there as well as the fact he felt Safe to pull away is meaningful to an extent #because it's one of the only situations this week where he's actually felt & acted on a sense of control over what happens to him #+ lister's immediate reaction being to back off and recognise his being at fault and never once holding it against jimmy #like again . should not have happened do not kiss ppl without asking #but i do find myself viewing it in a very different light to the v comparable magnet situation #anygay i am rambling in tags again when i should be asleep but still #i worry that lister is now viewing himself in the same light as jimmy views the ppl that took advantage of lister #but i Also worry that he is viewing himself as Worse than those ppl bc he can't/won't accept that he was taken advantage of #i do also now kind of want to write a Lister In Therapy oneshot partly just for the catharsis of imagining that boy getting some gd therapy #iwbftreread

[daz4i]

all of dazai's suicide attempts that we actually see in canon are stuff that in case he survives, likely won't impact him too much in the long run (they might suck at first but the odds of getting some chronic condition as a result aren't high)

in nlh yozo says he doesn't mind dying but he doesn't want to get injured, bleed, or become disabled

i just think it's interesting 🧐 (i also think this is where the whole "i hate pain" thing comes from)

also extra interesting that he is CONSTANTLY getting injured outside of suicide attempts. just now we can see him with a broken leg and 3 gunshot wounds

and this is where his differences from yozo shine. like. at his core he is based on him. but yozo doesn't really go through some arc, he is just a person describing his life, and most people don't have arcs

but bsd dazai is fully a character, and he very much does get an arc. this is where he grows from being yozo to being dazai. from being. well. no longer human, to hopefully eventually accepting his humanity

so where yozo would avoid injury at all cost, sit on the sidelines and watch as people he loves get hurt, dazai will jump into danger and likely won't come out of it completely unscathed

but he does come out uninjured from his own self-inflicted danger. he drowns himself, but he coughs out the water and goes on about his day. he consumes poison, but he throws it up and moves on. he has to keep on living after all. he has people to help, and he has to be in the best shape to do so properly

and while his attempt in beast was 100% guaranteed to work given the height, even if he somehow miraculously survived it, he won't ever be the same, likely have all his bones shattered and his brain damaged and he'll be in a coma for who knows how long. that's another difference of his from canonzai. to beastzai, there is no day after the plan is over. he's done all the help he could, in his eyes. he achieved his goal, so the rest of his life doesn't matter, might as well finish it (and also there's the whole universe collapsing if too many ppl know abt it and such. tho idk this could also just be a lie of his to make sure sskk won't stop him)

#4 am ramblings when i should be asleep but can't bc my brain is shit #once again using my basic yet above average knowledge abt suicide to analyze dazai #dan rambles #suicide // #ask to tag

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

so i had a couple ocs as a kid (made for a story that i never wrote a lot for) and i haven’t drawn any of them since i was like. 14. so it’s been a hot minute but anyway i realized the other day that out of the 5 main cast i have gotten 3 of their haircuts. i remember vaguely thinking that one character always seemed to have the haircut i wanted and i had that haircut for years but recently i got rid of that haircut and had another one’s haircut then i changed it a bit and dyed it and now i have another one’s. so i’m like man 12 year old me had great taste in haircuts. i should go down the list and do them all

#sometimes i think i should redraw the characters but then i’d want to redevelop their story bc it’s not to my taste atm and that’s a #lot of effort but i might do it anyway who knows #but i’d have to open my box that deals psychic damage (the sketchbooks in there are so soaked with alcohol that opening the box #makes me nauseous lmao) for refs. hmmmm. i dunno #the characters don’t really speak to me anymore their whole dynamics and designs aren’t to my taste i’d have to *really* re-do #everything but hm. maybe #though perhaps i should just start from scratch. i wouldn’t mind having ocs again. idk #also on unrelated news i have purchases 4lbs of baking soda to mix with my acrylic paints i want to see what kinda texture i can #get out of it because i! am! in! the! mood! to! paint! #but unforch i have to sleep? taking away my valuable painting time? ridiculous but i think i’m going to legit pass out at some point #i’ve been getting real tired of sleeping #well. i love sleeping but i feel like it’s wasting all my time because i always seem to sleep 10-16 hours a night which is ridiculous #that’s so much time i’m wasting i have shit to do man so i’ve been staying up 24-34ish hours once every week or so to make up for lost #time but still i feel like i am making this all worse because now i can’t even fall asleep + it’s been messing w my mood but i don’t #know how to fix it #anyway that was way off topic goodnight i think i’m going to bed now bye

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 14

"KMAG YOYO" by Hayes Carll

#song of the day #still sick >:( #I'm not convinced I actually /like/ this song but I can't sing today either way and it caught in my head last time I was in Nick's car #very very good rhythm and quick enough to be a challenge to learn even if I might not ever listen to it again once I've got it down #and I keep thinking I should look into how informal military abbreviations were established and proliferated #I dunno how commonly understood KMAG YOYO is (kiss my ass goodbye; you're on your own) but I'd say probably a majority of #--hmm you know now I'm really doubting my 'majority'. maybe I've got a sampling bias. #I mostly know folks on the poorer and more rural side of things and I've known a lot of law enforcement and military people. hmm-- #anyway I was going to say a majority of Americans but maybe that's not generalizable. certainly a majority of Americans I've met though #know what FUBAR and SNAFU mean at least in the colloquial sense #(I've heard disagreements about the particulars of FUBAR. whether it's 'beyond all repair' or 'beyond all recognition' mostly) #and I just wonder how they came to be standardized and spread. my just-spitballing guess is Vietnam vets but I wanna look it up #I suppose if we can manage to get 'okay' so heavily popularized with its weirdass origins then anything could happen #and English is such a fucky language anyway #a little research project for post-fever Alexis! she'll be so happy #edit: first late song post. two weeks in exactly. not too bad! #and only two hours late too! (current-fevered-Alexis fell asleep in the shower)

[yardsards]

i think the issue with having an extremely inconsistent sleep schedule is not that your overall daily schedule will be out of wack (i am quite fine with changing schedules) but rather that all hours of the day are Schrodinger's Bedtime. like, going to bed just feels like An Option at all times and this leads to a lot of laying in bed almost dozing but not really sleeping

#eliot posts #i BRIEFLY got my sleep schedule back on track but then i got sick had to sleep all day to recover and now it is Bad again #and then before that it was STABLE for a while but... #i was going to sleep at sunrise every day #which was Bad #bc by the time i woke up it would be almost sundown #so time completely stopped feeling real #fuck the winter darkness i am moving to the fucking equator as god intended #we must ALL come to brazil (or ecuador or kenya or whatever) #but seriously tho like why is my default circadian rhythm to FALL ASLEEP AT SUNRISE #it has always been like this and it happens in all seasons #(isn't too bad in the summer tho bc there's more hours of sun and also student schedule lets me Live Like That) #i am constantly battling my body to adhere to a somewhat normal sleep schedule #bc alas being a member of society means i have to be awake and doing stuff at certain times #scheduling meals and activities a certain way and avoiding blue light does NOT fix shit #keeping a regular schedule can help sometimes but is‚ again‚ an uphill battle against my body #i should honestly try getting one of those seasonal depression sunlamps and staring into it at like 10 pm every night #trick my brain into thinking it is sunrise (and therefore time to sleep) #(also i tried melatonin supplements once and it made me feel like my bones were trying to slither out of my skin #and i had a panic attack and didn't sleep that night. so i am too terrified to try THAT again)

[0multifandomweirdo0]

Sometimes, I wonder if Runaan will be disappointed that Rayla isn't the assassin he wanted her to be

#her family is so messed up it broke her #callum glued her back together #again and again #pretty sure he will have to do it once again #and again #because her family reunion cannot be that smooth and happy #i should be asleep #ah the feelings #help #i have a migraine #the dragon prince #tdp #the dragon prince mystery of aaravos #tdp mystery of aaravos #tdp moonfam #moon fam #tdp rayla #rayllum #tdp runaan #runaan

[ezraphobicsoup]

euaghedg

#i forgot how tiring school is #but i kept falling asleep for very small amounts of time so now i can’t sleep #and once again as always as ever people are people #(nothing new just actually thinking about it which i should stop doing) #uh if uoh are reading this and it is night for you you should try some sleep #goodnight folks take care #ezra’s real life rambles

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 216

Adjective: Pink

Noun: Peach

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Pink: of a color intermediate between red and white, as of coral or salmon; (of wine) rosé; (informal) (often derogatory) having or showing left-wing tendencies; of or associated with gay people

Peach: a round stone fruit with juicy yellow flesh and downy pinkish-yellow skin; a pinkish-yellow color like that of a peach; the Chinese tree that bears peaches; (informal) an exceptionally good or attractive person or thing

#sorry for being late again #at this point i dont know if i need to say why cos its almost always the same reason: accidentally falling asleep #which is the case this time #as for what happened today i met with our executive director for quite a few reasons #but pretty much the main one was for me to talk to her about how my supervisor has been treating me as of late #(specifically the past couple of months but especially this past week) #cos making me cry once and nearly making me cry another time right as im about to head to court for a hearing with a client is fucked up #and not at all how we should be treating each other (especially supervisors to their subordinates) at a domestic violence agency #and it seems like my supervisor is being so passive aggressive and outright mean to me because my coworker got fired #(shes shown favouritism toward that coworker) #(and im worried she thinks i got him fired when i was only one of many people to bring up to our executive director) #(the ways in which he was harming clients and doing things that are prohibited in our employee handbook) #but my conversation with our executive director went extremely well and made me feel validated and heard and safe/comfy #when it comes to the prompt i know it seems a little redundant or too straightforward #but there is something about it that strikes me as it being mystical or almost cottagecore in a way #it is very aesthetically pleasing to me and the feeling i get from it is nice #i just have absolutely no idea what to write about still #so im hoping something comes to me in due time #thanks for reading #writing #writer #creative writing #writing prompt #writeblr #trying to be a writeblr at least

[fingertipsmp3]

So me and my friend unpacked that night terror I had the other night & basically I am now on a self-imposed horror ban because I genuinely think if I keep consuming horror with my current mental state I will have a full-blown psychotic break 😔✌🏻

#for the uninitiated: basically i dreamed of an entity that was ‘the personification of fear itself’ and it was standing in the corner of my #room heavy-breathing and looking at me. it followed me through 3 layers of sleep (dream within a dream; regular dream; WAKING - #i hallucinated it during a sleep paralysis incident) #and i was unpacking it with my friend and i was like ‘i think the reason i was able to fall asleep again so fast (within 10 minutes lol) #and the thought of it hasn’t really bothered me when i’ve tried to sleep since is that it felt like more of a warning than a threat #like it kept getting worse each time i saw it but obviously i was fine. like it never tried to harm me. it just stood there’ #and she was like ‘so do you believe in symbolism in dreams?’ i said ‘i don’t believe in prophetic dreams and i don’t believe that dreams #always have meaning. what i believe is that when the conscious mind shuts off for sleep; the subconscious starts unpacking stuff completely #at random and starts working through it. i think it’s a complete roulette. i think the best example of that is the time i had a dream that #one of my teachers was selling teddy bear ties just because he wore a tie with teddy bears on it once. i had that dream about a week later. #i was not in any way preoccupied with his tie; i saw it once and that was it but my brain obviously decided to use it’ #so she was like ‘so you think that you dreaming about an entity that was the personification of fear itself is completely random?’ #i was like ‘oh no not really. that makes perfect sense to me. all the movies i’ve watched and books i’ve read and podcasts i’ve listened to #have been horror’ and she was like ‘and you think that’s healthy for you?’ ‘oh no not really. plenty of it scares me. i even got scared the #other day listening to true crime; which doesn’t usually happen to me but i guess the 4 hour serial killer documentary wore me down’ #she’s just like ‘for god’s sake’ lol #so i’m like ‘i mean if i interpret it your way; about dreams having meanings and messages; i guess i’m being warned that i’m dwelling too #much on fear. i’m inviting it into my space deliberately. it’s the main emotion i’m experiencing from the media i consume. and i don’t know #that that’s necessarily… good?’ and she’s like ‘no i don’t think it is. maybe you should read a sci-fi or something or rewatch that reality #show you like?’ and i was like ‘that actually seems like a good idea’ #so. no more horror for me for the foreseeable :( i just want to get through the seasonal depression. and get my grief for mabel down to a #manageable level. i mean it’s somewhat manageable now but i still feel sad and guilty all the time and cry randomly #i’m thinking about signing up to be a dog fosterer for the rspca. i mean i work from home; i have an enclosed garden & plenty of time #and i could use the companionship. i just don’t know that i can take on a multi-year commitment right now #personal

[elencr]

                little headcannons about elenore on board the enterprise.                        yes i will totally update these the more i rewatch.

1. she 100% would have to spend a solid couple of days in the decon chamber. considering no one really considered all the illnesses and viruses that she hasn’t been exposed too yet. she actually happened to get deathly sick her third day on board. phlox was beside himself trying to keep her alive. 2. she hoards her inhaler with her life. the way that she probably doesn’t know if they could synthesize anymore. so she’s just wheezing every so often because she doesn’t want to waste it. until she fucking passes out in the hall and phlox is literally just “ ????? bitch????? its simple. “ 3. ellie does sometimes go poof. she disappears for a couple of days before always returning back to the enterprise. it’s almost like home base for her. she’s safe there. 3.1. she disappears to future ships. she can’t tell her enterprise crew, but it does help her get the upper hand on learner about new species. 4. but it also means that her and daniels have beef. 4.1. she also promptly stole his quarters. 5. she actually impresses chef when she’s finally cleared to roam the ship. she brings her a game and he actually lets her work a little bit in the galley. 6. which means she also proves her worth to archer. she does his dinner some nights. while also ripping it with desserts , for the little senior staff dinners. but she’s finally feeling useful after pretty much taking up space in sickbay for two solid weeks. 7. ellie introduces the crew to the wonders of 21st century reality tv. she finds shows like big brother , married at first sight (australia bc there is no better version) and even the bachelor. 7.1. t’pol is very very much into the bachelor , even if she would never admit it. she lets ellie eat from her popcorn bucket. 7.2. trip is very much into big brother. 7.3. hoshi adores a good singing contest. 8. ellie and trip bond over sun , surf and florida. well for ellie its mainly bonding over the fact that disney.world still exists. the idea that it does has ellie bouncing out of her seat (and a little terrified). 9. ellie has a four legged shadow.  she fed porthos cheese once and that dog follows her everywhere. 9.1. if he’s a good enough dog , she will feed him something more nutritious than the bagged dog food archer always seems to give him. 10. ngl when i say the four of them , i mean archer/trip/t’pol/ellie , all somehow end up joined at the hip. maybe its just a senior staff type of thing. the only ones to know of ellie’s special ability or something else. who knows. :)))))

#i should be asleep but i binged a couple of ent. #and beth is once again indulging me. #yes i did 10. #yes there will be more than 10. #but if there's any take away from this ... #its that ellie and daniels will fight. #⌜ OOC ⌟ ✦ * · ˚ WOWEE. I’M REEING. #⌜ STAR TREK VERSE ⌟ ✦ * · ˚ FLOATING AMONGST THE STARS.

[plumberrypudding]

i can’t sleep, i don’t even know what i’m feeling

#i want to make a vent post ab it but i can’t do that without doxxing myself #and i don’t really want to talk to anyone else who was there about it because i know i would just default to trying to comfort them #and ease what they’re going through but i’m barely processing it all as real myself #idk. once again i just wish falling asleep was easier #and irls/people who know what this is about: please don’t feel obligated to talk to me about it #i know it’s a lot and i don’t want you to take more than you can handle to help me. i know that’s my instinct right now #but i’m scheduling an appointment with my therapist later this week so. i’ll be ok #anyways these fucking sirens in the distance are Not helping #but whatever. idk maybe i’ll try to do schoolwork tomorrow #i should probably stop reading news articles about it