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#one of the few characters i actively hc as cis
evilkitten3 · 6 months
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genuinely do not understand why so many people hate on kabuto. he's insane. he's pathetic. he's gay. he's autistic. he causes problems. what's there not to love
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aita for pretending to be cis online? im a trans man and have been trans for almost ten years now. i am pre-most transition even though i would like to fully transition, due to money and medical phobia complications. i do not pass irl.
a few years ago i attempted stealth (saying i was a cis man) on a discord server before ultimately admitting to being trans because i was afraid everyone could tell, and was informed that even though they even heard my voice on the server, no one there suspected i was afab, and even when i said i was trans, some people assumed i was coming out as transfem, because i had passed myself as a cis man so well. this gave me euphoria, of course, and made me regret telling anyone since i was apparently passing so well.
i held onto those feelings, and a year or so after that, quietly changed my bios and stuff to remove the trans part. a little while after that, i started actively saying i was cis male in my bios and to new friends.
i should clarify this is not out of safety or fear of transphobia, all my family and irl friends know im trans and are 100% supportive, im lucky enough to live in a very progressive area, and my online existence is small and filled with tons of trans and supportive people. it's only because i feel dysphoric when i know people can perceive me as afab, and since i don't have control over that irl, i just want someone in the world to see me as amab, even if im not and never will be.
i also am not by any means a transmed. i myself am also gnc, and many many of my friends are loud and proud queer weirdos, and i am too with everything but my agab. i love the wacky ways other trans folks present their genders and refuse to sanitize themselves for cisciety. i do not think anyone should ever have to water down who they are for any reason and i don't think being afab makes anyone less of a man, just i personally don't like facing the fact that i am afab and would rather people see me as a cis man whenever i can control it.
this might be where the asshole comes in here, because being gnc, being surrounded by so many trans people and being in many "afab dominated" spaces (such as fanfic writers, tumblr, fandom in general honestly) as well as having a lot of trans headcanons makes me paranoid people are going to clock me and even if they don't say anything they'll know im faking being cis. because of that, and to avoid the dreaded "egg" conversations (people trying to insist or imply that ill soon "find out" that im transfem) ive sometimes been telling people when the subject comes up that i had experimented with my gender before and thought i was transfem or nonbinary in the past, so i sort of fit the idea of cis+ and that might be why i feel more trans than cis even though im definitely cis.
i also tell them im intersex and have trans family (both of these are true, though obviously im intersex in a different way than i say) to get them off my scent.
i know i dont owe anyone my agab, but when all is said and done, i am lying about my gender and history with gender exploration, and i kinda feel like im disrespecting other trans folks by implying it would personally feel better to be cis, like i can't relate to other trans people saying they never want to be cis and the goal of being trans isn't to be cis. but i do. i also worry that having trans hcs (including in sexual contexts) for characters while im presenting myself as cis makes people think im a chaser.
anyway sorry this is long, but aita for lying about my gender?
What are these acronyms?
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case-of-traxits · 4 months
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for the ask meme: Reeve
For the Opinion Meme || Still accepting!
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Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual, but functionally gay. Because I write Reeve as being Cetra (I feel the need to link this every time I mention it because it's such a wild-ass take that any time I don't, I have confused people messaging me), he's basically extremely paranoid about sexual situations that could end in children. Especially since his mother is always trying to set him up on dates (and he's half-wondering if she's trying to arrange for him to produce more little part-Cetran babies) and the President is always setting him up on blind dates (I have a whole headcanon about this, but basically, Reeve's concerned that President knows).
So with him being so paranoid about it, he just... doesn't have sex with women. Ever. It's much safer that way.
Gender Headcanon: Cis man. Although, that said, I used to RP as girl!Reeve, and that was fun as hell.
A ship I have with said character: HAHAHAHAHA. All of them.
No, but seriously, there's very few people I haven't written/read/shipped Reeve with.
Reeve/Tseng? Delicious.
Reeve/Lazard? Omg, yes, please.
Reeve/Genesis? Don't mind if I do (ship of my soul, currently).
Reeve/Reno? Talk about fucking up my heart okay.
Reeve/Rude? They're wonderful together.
Reeve/Sephiroth? Yep. I could do that.
Reeve/Veld? I can get behind that.
Reeve/Vincent? Mm. So wonderful.
Reeve/Barret? I expect some angst in there, but that's delicious too.
Like, not all of these work with all of my HCs, but I am happy to jettison/rework HCs to make things happen.
A BROTP I have with said character: No matter what I'm doing, if Reeve and Tseng aren't an active couple, then they're best friends. I just. I love the two of them together, especially with all the potential angst between them with their secrets and everything. It's just wonderful.
A NOTP I have with said character: I think the closest thing I really have to a NOTP is probably Reeve/Hojo, but that's a holdover from an old RP partner who uh... we did some pretty dark stuff with that. Like, I can see it, but man, it is fucked up. Especially with my Reeve in particular.
A random headcanon: Hm... I've already talked about Reeve being a Cetra and Reeve being an Inspire... Here, since I went light on the ship descriptions this time, have a small handful of random headcanons instead:
I would say my biggest "obscure" headcanon is that Reeve lives in a 3,000 sq foot custom-built penthouse in Upper Eight.  And yes, I have a floorplan.  One day, I'll do some drawings of the rooms.
Reeve’s blood type is type O negative.
Reeve requires every single Urban Dev employee to wear a carbon bangle with Restore, Ice, and Lightning materia equipped.  They’re also required to annually attend a training known as “Materia Camp,” to ensure they’re comfortable with the basic use.  This is because Urban Dev employees are, statistically speaking, the most likely to be first-on-the-scene of any sort of emergency situation.
Reeve has three small tattoos along his spine.  They’re three Wutaian characters in a straight line, each character a few inches from the previous one, and from top to bottom, they read: Courage, Inspiration, and Resilience.  They’re the same characters his father wrote in the front of each of his sketchbooks.
General Opinion over said character: My babygirl. Look. Reeve is my angel and ... yeah, I'd say he is probably my favorite character in the game.
BONUS! A song I associate with the character:
Where am I today? I wish that I knew 'Cause looking around there's no sign of you I don't remember one jump or one leap Just quiet steps away from you lead I'm holding my heart out but clutching it, too Feeling this sort of a love that we once knew Calling this a home when it's not even close I'm playing the role with nerves left exposed
-- "Reasons Why," by Nickel Creek.
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sapphire-weapon · 11 months
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I saw you mention a few HC's where you think Leon probably sucked dick in college etc. and you're supportive of Chreon (I think?)
Do you support it just because it's fun and hot or do you think Leon is bi?
This is kind of a disingenuous question, isn't it?
The only point of shipping anything ever is because you think it's fun and hot. Do you think I headcanon Remake Claire taking Remake Leon's virginity because I think it's implied or intended canon? No, I do it because it's fun and hot.
And Capcom will never portray Leon as being interested in anyone other than women, anyway, so does it really matter?
If the question is: "Do you like Chreon for the same shallow reason you like Metaltango?" the answer is no. I ship it because I genuinely enjoy the connection between them, and I find it really endearing that, in the latter half of the series, arguably the most important person in Leon's life -- the person who cares about him most -- is Chris, and Chris has absolutely no idea that that's the role he's filling.
I also enjoy Serennedy for reasons deeper than Metaltango.
If the question is: "Do you honestly think that the text states that Leon is bi?" the answer is no for the reason stated above. Anyone acting in good faith will never try to make the case that Capcom genuinely intends for Leon to be read as anything other than straight and cis.
There might be some classically romantic tropes that get utilized between Leon and another male character (as is the case in my Serennedy post), but the intention from Capcom has never been and will never be for the player to see Leon as being genuinely romantically or sexually interested in another man. That's just the nature of the beast, whether we like it or not.
If the question is: "Do you headcanon Leon as bi?" the answer is yes, but it's complicated.
I don't think OG Leon has actually sucked dick. I also don't think he's ever had a chance to self-reflect long enough to actively discover or explore that part of himself. I also don't think he cares.
I headcanon that he's been attracted to other men before and has definitely jerked off while thinking about them -- but then he just went and chalked it up to "well everyone has gay thoughts" and stopped thinking about it because he doesn't care and it doesn't matter. If you were to ask him, he'd say he was straight.
Like, he would definitely give it a chance if some guy he was attracted to offered it, but he doesn't realize that about himself actively -- so, in his mind, he's straight.
Remake Leon is a little different. Remake Leon seems to be a bit more self-aware than his OG counterpart, and he's the one who I think sucked dick in college.
But, like his OG counterpart, I don't think Remake Leon likes to think about it -- but I think it's for different reasons. While Remake Leon is more self-aware, he's also a lot more repressed. Like, I think Remake Leon sucked dick in college because he could justify it to himself with "well, college is for experimenting, right???"
But then he actually really enjoyed it, and that attraction to other men never went away, so now he just tries not to think about it -- because he does still have a stronger attraction for women, so... no need to worry about it, right???
If it ever comes up again and he has the chance to hook up with another man again, cool. If not, all the easier for him to keep it to himself as a sort of dirty little secret -- as twisted and fucked up as it is for him to view it that way LMAO
If you were to ask Remake Leon about his sexuality, he'd try to wave it away with a "Who cares?" or a "Does it matter?" And if you were to press Remake Leon about it, he'd eventually cave and give a wishy-washy admission to being bi along the lines of "I don't know. I don't really have a preference. I don't think it matters."
I think he'd be hesitant to actually label himself as bisexual or even use the word at all. Part of it is because RE2make Leon was clearly more sheltered than OG RE2 Leon, so there's probably some element of a religious upbringing there with all the associated shame attached. But I think another (probably bigger) part of it is that, if he were to label himself as bisexual, it would carry the connotation that he was a member of a community that he doesn't feel like he's a part of.
Leon is literally The Man. He's a part of a government and a system that actively oppresses the LGBTQ+ community -- so, how can he, in good faith, say that he's one of them?
He's basically picked sides in a way that's really fucking stupid when you consider that he's not a G-man by choice, and he probably wouldn't have remained a cop for very long if the whole outbreak thing didn't happen. His blinders would've been ripped off pretty fucking fast, and he would've dipped the fuck out after he realized that blowing the whistle on Brian Irons was never actually going to do anything and he was just wasting his time serving a corrupt police chief in a corrupt system that actually hurts more than it helps.
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angeltism · 2 months
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do ya have specifc gender headcanons for prsk characters?
Hmm yes but I don't feel too strongly about a lot of em n don't really think about them a lot. But I definitely do !
Strong (actively influence how I view the character , the pronouns I use for them , etc . In my mind , this is how they are and I consider it basically canon) : Transmasc genderqueer Mafuyu who uses any pronouns (also I have this xenogender in my hoard that's like,, you copy the behaviors of fem-aligned people to be more fem-aligned in gender ?? or something like that ??? that too .) , queer genderfluid Rui who mainly uses all pronouns but sometimes his preference changes , librafeminine Ena who doesn't care about pronouns , transfem Mizuki (I don't feel they're a binary woman, to me they feel more non-binary with a femme presentation or some kind of sorta-fem sorta-nb gender, but they are 100% transfeminine. I just don't know how to describe the other gender stuff they have going on.)
Yeah I like these (I can see these and think of them occasionally. I'll sometimes mention em but they mostly live in the back of my brain and make me go "huh! yeah!" seeing people agree) : Transfem Shizuku (both tfem bigender but aaaalso just as a binary transwoman) , transfem Tsukasa , transfem Airi, trans man Akito , genderqueer Haruka , transfem Toya , genderqueer An
These are fun but I don't think about them a lot (what it says on the tin) : Agender Kanade , bigender Shiho , librafeminine Minori , librafluid Kohane , transmasc non-binary Ichika , questioning Saki (she isn't cis . but girl I cannot figure out What she is . bear w me here)
Oh bonus category for xenogenders : Ichika using music, space and vocaloid related ones as well as songic genders. Saki using star and music themed ones. Minori and ones with a clover, idol or song theme as well as a few songic too maybeee? Haruka with ones related to penguins n maybe blue In General. Tsukasa with star-themed ones. Emu with like Most soft , sweet , sugary , funky vibe genders. Rui with Fuck All (aka whatever the mess of My hoard is because hashtag projecting). Nene with robot and game themed ones. Ena with ones that relate to art, cuteness, etc. Mizuki with pink and/or ribbon themed genders. Is this a lot and is it vague Yes but there's so many that exist so idk giving off the vibes and recurring themes seems like Good Enough.
Token cis (sorry y'all /j) : Honami I just can't think of anything for her either she's some kind of Honami Is Honami non-binary that I can't quite describe or she's a cisgirl to me. She isn't hetero though nobody here is cis AND hetero c'mon this is COLORFUL stage. Oh also Emu despite having a lot of xenogender swag I feel would still identify a lot with being a girl n I hc her as cis. But also she has the most xenogender swag I've ever seen in a character so. She's like girl+ . Does that make sense. Girl++ Extra Content DLC 🍬🩷🍭🍨🍫🎈✨🍪🧸
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dylanndr · 1 year
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TL;DR:
Trans Izzy headcanon is not universally accepted by all trans men and can be traumatizing to some of us (even us Izzy stans!), so don't assume that any given trans man is into it. Figure out where someone is before tagging them in to Trans Izzy stuff.
The long version:
[CN for frank discussion of gender dysphoria]
I understand that Trans Izzy is a popular headcanon, and I understand that a lot of trans guys feel affirmed and validated by that headcanon. This post is not about bursting that bubble. If it's working for you, fine. Do your thing.
I want to make clear, though, that it is NOT a universal headcanon that all trans guys are on board with. I keep getting tagged into Trans Izzy stuff by well-meaning people who assume I must be all about it, when what it actually does is trigger a massive dysphoria spiral that can flatten me for hours or days after.
I was sincerely hoping I could desensitize myself, but it turns out "have you simply tried not having dysphoria" isn't working any better this time than it did when that first therapist I ever went to offered that as a solution when I told him I thought I was trans.
So: Trans Izzy headcanon stuff is a SEVERE dysphoria trigger for me and I can't engage with it at all. I can't look at the art, I can't read the fics or meta. I don't click on Izzy tags or join Izzy groups because of it.
If you've read this blog at all, you know I love Izzy and I have spent a lot of time thinking about him. I have never encountered one single thing about him that gives me trans validation feels (no, not even his height relative to the other characters). I have encountered several things about him that are the polar opposite of my experience as a trans person. Obviously a lot of other trans guys are having a very different experience of the character, but for me, for my own experience there is N O T H I N G relatable about him from a trans perspective, and a number of things that feel actively wrong to me when put into a trans frame. It's like having my gender experience anti-validated.
In addition to the dysphoria, I'm just generally grossed out by the idea of a cis* actor playing a trans character. There's no excuse for that in our current era. [*AFAIK Con is cis, given that he self-labels as an ally when posting pro-trans content. He's clearly pretty chill about the HC. But either way he is not a trans man and should not be playing one on TV.]
So: I am asking people please do not tag me in any Trans Izzy stuff, and please don't make a blanket assumption that all trans guys are into Trans Izzy HC.
Final word: from the stuff I have seen, not a single one of you has the faintest clue how trans men on HRT experience menopause. That's not really your fault, since our culture barely acknowledges menopause in cis women as it is. Finding accurate info on trans man menopause is nigh impossible. So here are some basics:
If you've had a hysto before you would have hit menopause, you will not go through menopause. There's nothing to wind down.
If you haven't had a hysto but are on masculinizing levels of T, you are unlikely to experience any menopause symptoms at all. The T suppresses them. If you've been on HRT for a long time, your body will stop absorbing it as well as you get older, and you could experience some lessened symptoms if your levels drop low enough. But all you have to do is increase your dose and you're back to T overriding menopause symptoms. My doctor specializes in trans medicine, has been in practice for over 30 years, and has had almost none of her trans man patients complain of menopause symptoms in all that time.
As far as sex-in-the-front goes, T dries you out to some extent, menopause dries you out even more. You're almost certainly not going to be making puddles, and you're going to be running through a lot of lube. Get a few barrels of it and use them as ballast if you're going to be at sea for awhile.
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recreancyrpg · 2 years
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Welcome to Recreancy, Nat!
You have been accepted for the role of EVAN ROSIER, with the faceclaim change of Manny Jacinto!
He would never admit it out loud, but most Order members are people he would consider friends. Things have hit a point where he trusts them more than the carefully picked friendships his parents forced upon him to make sure he was surrounded by people who had their best interests in the Rosier family’s legacy.
Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours!
OUT OF CHARACTER:
NAME & PRONOUNS: Nat, she/her
AGE: 25+
TIMEZONE: EST
ACTIVITY LEVEL: 5/10 — I work multiple jobs, am considered a full-time graduate student, and co-admin a group of my own so I can be rather inconsistent with replies. Not inconsistent enough to not be able to post 2-3 replies a week but there are the occasional moments of overwhelm where I may get only one or none up. If it’s a case of not getting anything up I will reach out since I’m not one for dropping without a warning — ideally, that won’t happen but still just giving that disclaimer as a heads up.
ANYTHING ELSE: No triggers. Experience wise… I have been rping since Neopets’ forums. Evan would be a new muse for me. My go-to characters are usually Regulus, Frank, Lucius, Ted, Sirius, and Remus.
CHARACTER DETAILS:
NAME: Evan Rosier
AGE: 29
GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-male, he/him, bisexual but would claim he is straight is asked
I don’t think he’s done a lot of exploring with his sexuality but am also like nah, I could totally see him having snogged a few people of the same sex back at Hogwarts either out of curiosity or from being a tad inebriated. I hc him as having been paranoid about outright upsetting his father while growing up and could see the narrative of marriage and producing an heir being stressed as the “right” path.
BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood
HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin — near hat stall between Ravenclaw and Slytherin 
ANY CHANGES: I would like to see a fc change but am not overly picky. Three I’m throwing in as suggestions include Manny Jacinto, Richard Madden, and Nolan Gerard Funk.
CHARACTER BACKGROUND:
PERSONALITY: 
The unresolved: cigarette butts. saving everyone but yourself. stargazer. deep breaths. black coffee. the scent of a forest after it rains. rose petals. bloodied knuckles. talking to plants to help them grow. conflicted. there to offer a helping hand. breakfast in bed. uncertain paths. holding hands beneath the table. kill them with kindness.
Strengths and weaknesses:
As the Rosier heir, Evan was raised in a way that instilled traits that the Rosier parents knew would be expected of the son that would eventually take over the family name. Although kind enough to care about their children, Evan’s parents made it clear there was no room for error during his early years. They expected their heir to be compliant, intelligent, and determined. Evan was raised knowing there would be consequences if he behaved in a way that made other families look down on him. Large infractions usually involved unsavory punishments and Evan was quick-witted enough to learn and accept there was little room to do the opposite of what was expected while growing up.
Even-tempered and resourceful are other words that could be used to describe the Rosier heir. Those ones didn’t come about until school made it possible for him to explore his sense of self without his father keeping an eye on every move he made.
On the negative end of things, Evan can be described as cunning and anxious. Feelings of anxiety are something he hasn’t been able to shake, primarily stemming from the few occasions where his behavior earned his being on the receiving end of his father’s disappointment and rage toward his actions. The sense of cunning is one that came naturally. He was raised knowing he was destined for greatness and taught to do whatever it took to get what he needed. Evan can occasionally be deceptive and proved to be quite charming during his Hogwarts years. A sly smile and smooth tongue had Professors wrapped around his fingers.
Although raised with pureblood ideologies, Evan knew to keep his prejudiced thoughts to himself, being calculated enough to save them for a situation with few witnesses. Salazar knew his father would have had something to say if word got back about Evan earning detentions for hexing or speaking poorly of other students. It meant forced pleasantries when stuck working with students the family would have considered lesser and feigning tolerance.
There is also a sense of kindness or empathy that Evan cannot avoid. It comes with the territory of having multiple sisters and having settled on healing as an occupation. This leaves the potential of being called soft, but Evan willingly uses the Healer’s Oath as an excuse for explaining being ready to clean up the aftermath of either side’s actions.
Excels and struggles:
Studies are where Evan most excelled. He has a thirst for knowledge that left him eager to learn. A strong memory made it easy to recall the more in-depth parts of the books he read. Healing was not his calling at first. The exams and work that were necessary for proving himself as a capable Mediwizard were grueling but necessary in ensuring the family name remained relevant and undoubted.
Evan’s favorite pastimes include herbology and dueling - a particularly odd combination but it has proven to come in handy now that things have picked up. He has a garden back at his flat and has been working to grow most of the herbs that are necessary for basic healing.
As of recent, Evan has been struggling to find a sense of self. His path was clearly laid out for him at birth and his involvement with the Order has left him wondering if his family picked the wrong side to support. Witnessing the Death Eater’s carnage firsthand has left him sick to his stomach. There is a lot of confusion since the task of infiltrating the Order was one he once considered an honor. The plan was to bring it down from the inside. No strings attached and no room for feeling guilty.
As the years of working with the Order have gone on, Evan has seen his feelings toward the idea shift. What was once considered an honor is now something that has left him bordering on properly defecting from the Death Eaters. The information he has been relaying back to the Dark Lord has been carefully crafted as of recent - no room for doubt and his providing minimal enough information to not give immediate locations of Order plans away.
He would never admit it out loud, but most Order members are people he would consider friends. Things have hit a point where he trusts them more than the carefully picked friendships his parents forced upon him to make sure he was surrounded by people who had their best interests in the Rosier family’s legacy.
BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 
Trigger warning: Neglect and child abuse referenced below
Evan was raised with everything he could have ever wanted and more. No request was too obscene and his parents doted on him and his sisters. He was raised as the heir - strict expectations and dire consequences if he couldn’t follow through on things. Being compliant meant toeing the line and doing as was expected. The few times he didn’t stand out as unfavorable memories. Skipped meals and the occasional slap were reserved for minor infractions. Major ones involved the use of his father’s wand. Evan has three scars along his left calf from having misbehaved while growing up. The process of earning them was traumatic enough to keep him from misbehaving and his father gave a strict order of allowing it to heal the muggle way - no salves or bandages to assist the deep cuts his wand made. Although positioned in a way to avoid the public eye, they served as a stark reminder that every misstep has its consequences.
Evan took on the role of leader when it came to his siblings. He set a good example and was quick to step up and claim to be at fault if it turned into his siblings being blamed for anything. The habit of taking the fall for his sisters was all too natural - where the family expected perfection, it was on him to ensure the younger Rosiers did as they were told. His saying he was disappointed in his siblings carried just as much of an effect as his mother or father saying the same did. At the end of the day, he would do anything for his sisters.
The only catch with Evan stems from his having avoided being bullied into a betrothal for over a decade now. According to his parents, he is unwilling to settle and still has time to find someone. They view him as dedicated to his work and the Death Eaters and haven’t fully pushed things since it took several years for Evan to earn his spot at St. Mungo’s. With Evan, it’s merely a matter of having an interest in someone his father wouldn’t approve of. The conversation has yet to involve properly-being face to face with his parents on the matter so he is more than happy to put it off, knowing the blow if he ever properly turns his back on the Death Eaters would be worse than admitting he’s head over heels for a half-blood.
Prejudices are something that were instilled in Evan from a young age. The family is of pure blood and fraternizing with anyone of lesser blood was strictly prohibited to the point where his parents decided which families had children that were appropriate for their son to befriend. He was raised wanting for nothing and his pompous attitude was something his parents didn’t disapprove of. Evan learned from the actions of his housemates that Hogwarts had consequences for those prejudices. He was able to keep them to himself for the most part but they are still there lurking beneath the surface and occasionally come to light.
The last couple of years of his life have been spent battling those prejudices and trying to unlearn some of the beliefs that were drilled into him as a child.
OCCUPATION:
Mediwizard - up for a promotion to one of the heads of the floor he works on at St. Mungo’s. He has seen a lot of carnage from the dueling sides and has taken the stance of assisting each side as long as he's undercover.
LIVING SITUATION: 
Evan has a two-bedroom flat. The first bedroom is his and the second belongs to an incredibly spoiled Chow Chow puppy named Ourse. There is a carefully crafted greenhouse in his yard that houses the plants he uses for healing Order and Death Eater members alike.
His most recent development housing-wise is finally having convinced Theo to move in since they were practically living together anyway.
ORDER OF THE PHOENIX: 
Evan serves as a mediwizard for the Order. Initially, he wanted nothing to do with healing Order members since the Death Eaters had him as the on-call healer for emergency situations. The Healer’s Oath, however, left him quickly realizing both sides would have to benefit from his skills. He has gotten far too used to people showing up bloodied on his doorstep, miraculously having kept healing the dueling sides a secret over the years through a strict ‘not assisting if not given a warning’ rule, merely requesting a patronus or owl be sent before showing up. 
As for feelings toward the Order, Evan has settled on beginning to believe he picked the wrong side of the war. He cannot wrap his head around why the Death Eaters are targeting blood traitors - more specifically, those that are of the Sacred 28. He questions what more damage will come from the Death Eaters turning on their own kind. The Order seems like the more reasonable cause to support but he knows vocally admitting such will not end well.
RELATIONSHIPS: 
Theodosia Selwyn: Hard, and getting harder all the time. An enigma at first, Theo’s arrival into Evan’s life was rather perplexing. He had to give some credit though since the girl had a lot of nerve in approaching the Slytherins to question their pureblood upbringings. He was willing to open up once Theodosia proved to be of use to him. Although raised with prejudices dating back for generations, Evan was more than happy to welcome the Ravenclaw into his ranks upon discovering how similar they were. She was clever and an asset to him so it only made sense to associate with her in a way similar to how the younger Slytherins welcomed Severus Snape.
Sleeping together wasn’t supposed to be serious — at least that was the agreement while in school. No strings attached, no feelings. Simply using each other as an excuse to relieve the stress of exams in her sixth year and his seventh and maintaining the close friendship that developed over the years. Fast forward a decade later and the two have hit the point of being nearly inseparable. There isn’t a specific date that comes to mind in regards to officially getting together with Theo. Evan knows things have hit a point where he can’t imagine a life without her at his side. He has been toying around with the idea of properly proposing, having kept the ring well hidden in one of the drawers of the flat they share.
It’s merely a matter of needing to navigate the potential consequences of admitting his loyalties have shifted - something that has left him regretting having introduced her to the Dark Lord’s cause in the first place - before he takes that next step. 
Frank Longbottom: Doubt comes in and leaves a trace of vinegar and turpentine… Guilt has been the most recent feeling to come up when thinking about Frank. The two were close as children and drifted apart during Hogwarts. It was all too easy to use him as a way of getting into the Order and the stupidity in not questioning his motives was something Evan boasted about when first joining. Things are hitting the point where Evan would be able to say he trusts Franks with his life - a rather bold statement to come from someone who had initially joined as a way of feeding information back to the Death Eaters.
Daisy Hookum: Who the hell do you think you're talking to? A minor annoyance since he did not expect joining the Order to mean being bombarded by questions about pureblood life. Although attempting to unlearn some of his prejudices, he still can’t fathom why Daisy is so fascinated by the muggle way of life.
Hestia Jones: That’s the way the river runs. The habit of not referring to Order members is something that Evan has been trying to strengthen ever since he started doubting his stance with the Death Eaters. Evan has let Hestia in closer than most members of the Order. He has come to trust her and is rather thrown off by the dynamic between them. Having paid little mind to Hestia past the occasional chuckle at his housemates’ crude comments of her upbringing has left him wondering if not properly interacting with non-purebloods during his Hogwarts years was a mistake.
James Potter/Marlene Mckinnon/Emmeline Vance/Gideon Prewett: Doubt comes in, the wind is changing… Healing the four was an eye-opening experience for Evan. The worst part of things was knowing his own acquaintances had been the ones to do the damage. Guilt and doubt settled in and Evan is more uncertain than he was before they went missing. There is something completely unsettling in knowing that the Death Eaters targeted a member of the Sacred 28 - even with the Prewetts having been labeled traitors. Uncertainty has been plaguing him ever since he went out of his way to heal the injuries of the four and try to regularly check-in to make sure there were no lingering injuries.
Severus Snape: Oh, you gotta keep your head low, if you wanna keep your head... Too much time was spent carefully crafting the lie of serving the Order but spying for the other side. If Severus were to find out, it would mean their having the ability to undo all the work that Evan put into building relationships and maintaining the fact that he is, in fact, solely focused on the Order. Evan is more amused than anything else that the younger Death Eater has yet to figure out there are four spies among the Order. (I am willing to go Evan took one look at that situation and went “Alright, Theo, Emma… Don’t tell them. We’re placing bets on how long it will take for them to realize.” if the other two muns are okay with that)
OOC EXPLORATION:
SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: Anything works for me as long as there is chemistry!
INTERPERSONAL STRUGGLES: 
I would say Evan spends a lot of time walking on eggshells. He certainly would have his guard down by this point but his relationships early on in things would have been his deliberately trying to distance himself. He’s kept his death eater affiliation under wraps since joining and intends to keep it that way.
Where it’s been several years of working with the cause, he has come out of his shell but still carries a lot of anxiety toward the Order finding out his original affiliation or the Death Eaters discovering his plans of defecting to the other side. Either option is unthinkable since it would mean losing the support system he has come to rely on or being branded a traitor and facing the consequences that accompany that. Or worse, both.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? My application is 100% Rachie’s fault since she nudged me and I have zero self-control when it comes to rps that have a new take on the Marauders’ universe. 
PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL): Throwing a younger sister of his into the mix could be interesting - especially if it’s a case of her not being marked and Evan never expecting to have direct family involved in either cause. Evan 100% would’ve taken the mark for the sake of his siblings not having to do the same and would’ve been silent about infiltrating the Order. I didn’t really dive into his family as deeply as I could have for the sake of acknowledging I’d be down for his having a sibling join the group.
ANYTHING ELSE? Pinterest. Playlist. Thank you for taking the time to read this over.
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let’s talk about lesbophobia in fandom
i don’t like to use the word “lesbophobia” unironically because of all the gross radfem terfy connotations, so i will clarify right off the bat that i am neither a terf nor an aphobe and that if you are i want you off my blog like, right now. unfortunately, the meaning of lesbophobia has been so warped by alt right lesbians that seeing it in an unironic context makes me, a lesbian, uncomfortable, which speaks volumes in itself. so to clarify, lesbophobia is essentially homophobia with a pinch of sexism thrown into the mix, and it’s running rampant in supposed safe spaces and, more relevantly, fandom. 
/i’d also like to clarify that i’m not only speaking on lesbophobia, but also the general disgust and disdain for all wlw in fandom, and am using it as a sort of umbrella term/
lesbophobia and disdain for wlw has been around forever, but whilst gay positivity, mlm and mlm ships have been steadily increasing in popularity within fandom over time, wlw and wlw ships have remained perpetual underdogs. why? because lesbophobia has become a fandom within itself. both in and outside of fandom, we see instances of casual lesbophobia every single day—from aggression towards wlw to something as simple and prevalent as the complete and utter lack of sapphic ships and characters in media. hatred of lesbians and wlw is practically a trend, and it’s seeping in through the cracks of fandoms who are already facing issues with minorities and marginalized groups (i.e. racism, ableism). if you honestly think that lesbophobia isn’t prevalent as hell in fandom right now, you’re either not a wlw, you’re not all that involved in fandom, or you’re dumb as shit. 
just look at ships. in almost every single fandom, the ratio of mlm ships to sapphic ships is ridiculously unbalanced. people are quick to ship male characters who so much as smile at each other (and i don’t condemn that) but would never do the same for two women—even on the rare occasion that the ship is actually canon. i once wrote a wlw fanfic for a [predominantly straight] fandom, and received messages like this gem:
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on the flip side of that, if there is a sapphic ship in canon or fanon, it is often fetishized and sexualised to a disturbing degree. there will be double the amount of nsfw art and fics, and ninety percent of it will be derogatory and fetishized as hell. having been actively involved in several fandoms over the past few years (and currently a content creator in one), i’ve seen instances of all this hundreds of times. people go crazy for mlm ships, but the second you say you ship/prefer a wlw ship, there’s always someone at the ready with, “i think all ships are great!” or “it’s not a contest” or “i prefer [insert m/m or m/f ship] actually” or “they’re my brotp!/why can’t you just let them be friends?”. not only do lesbians and wlw not get to have any rep in media, any rep that they try to create for themselves in fandom just gets attacked or ruined. this is so detrimental not only to all wlw, but especially to younger wlw who will end up being indoctrinated into this belief that their sexuality is something dirty, something that can never be tender and sweet but rather something that deserves to be preyed upon. 
building on that, let’s talk about engagement. i run an instagram account (where i have a significantly bigger following) as well as this blog for my fandom, where i post the content i create (mainly text posts). when i first started creating content, i made a lot for a relatively unpopular wlw ship, in which both girls are canonically romantically involved with a dude—though one of them is canonically pan. their canonical m/f ships are both very popular, and i noticed that my engagement was dropping every time i posted them, so i eventually just stopped. it wasn’t even a conscious decision; i merely resigned myself to the fact that the fandom didn’t want to see sapphic ships, and some people would even go as far as to condemn them. for reference, my instagram posts get an average of about 500 likes per post (popular ones usually exceeding 1k), but when i post this ship, my engagement drops to about 250 likes. similarly, my tumblr text posts have an average of about 140 notes per post (popular ones usually reaching up to 750), but my wlw content rarely surpasses 100. this just feeds the cycle of wlw never getting rep: if, like me, content creators become disincentivised by the lack of engagement with their sapphic content, they’re more likely to stop making/posting it, leading to further lack of rep—and when new content creators try to rectify that, they face the same problems. 
and then, of course, there’s the treatment of actual wlw in fandom. my best example of this is when my friend and i made an anti account on instagram (the first instagram anti account in that fandom), our bio saying something like “salty and bitter lesbians being salty and bitter”, and received an onslaught of lesbophobic insults and threats from angry stans within hours. (tw: r*pe) one commenter even went as far as to tell us that they wanted us to get r*ped. as well as this, i’ve seen so many instances of people using slurs against lesbians in arguments/in anons, often for no apparent reason other than they feel that they have the right. when i first mentioned i was a lesbian on instagram, my account only had about 200 followers, and within a day i lost 20. i also lose followers whenever i post f/f ships, not quite to that extent but enough for it to be noticeable, on top of the aforementioned engagement dips. in the face of all this adversity, i think a lot of wlw turn to mlm ships because they’re the closest thing we have to actual rep, but when we do we get accused of fetishizing them by the same people who fetishize us. there’s an endless list of double standards that non-wlw have been upholding for years, and i can firmly say that i’m really fucking sick of it. because of our sexuality, we will never be allowed to enjoy something without someone labelling it or us as dirty or otherwise problematic, when to them, the only problematic thing about us is that we aren’t pleasing men. 
as i mentioned before, the lack of rep for wlw in media is appallingly consistent, and part of that stems from tokenism. in a lot of modern mainstream media, you’ll have one, maybe two lgbt characters, and nine times out of ten those characters are white cis male gays. of course, there are exceptions to this, but generally, that’s it. script writers and authors (especially cishets) seem to have this mentality of, “oh, well, we gave them one, that’s sure to be enough!”, which means that on the off chance you do get your gay rep, the likelihood of also receiving wlw or any other kind of rep becomes practically non-existant. this belief that all marginalized groups are the same and that one represents all is what leads to misrepresentation on top of lack of rep, which is what makes tokenism so dangerous. if you treat your only gay character badly, you are essentially treating every single gay person badly in that universe. so not only is lesbophobia and disdain for wlw harmful to sapphic women via their exclusion in media, it’s also harming those minorities who do get rep. when people try to defend lesbophobic source material, that’s when fandom starts to get toxic. the need for critical thinking has never been more apparent and it has also never been less appeased—and wlw are getting hit hard by it, as always.
finally, a pretty big driving factor of lesbophobia is, ironically, lesbians. my lesbian friends and i often joke that though everyone seems to hate us, no one hates lesbians more than lesbians do. though i’d say it’s most prevalent on tumblr, i see traces of it all over the internet. the growth of alt right lesbian movements is not only reinforcing hatred for lesbians, but also reinforcing hatred for bi and pan women. here you have these terrible lesbians using their platforms to express their disgust for bi/pan women, for aces and aros, for trans women/nb lesbians, and people see them and say, “gosh, lesbians are just awful.” and just like that, all of us are evil. occasionally, lesbian blogs that i follow get put on terf blocklists for no other reason than the fact that they have “lesbian” in their bio. and the lesbians that actually deserve to be on those blocklists? they’re too busy spewing misinformation about trans women and bi women to care, boosted up by their alt right friends in an ever-expanding movement. i’ve found that this heavily influences fandom on tumblr, lesbians often getting branded as “biphobic” when they hc a female character as a lesbian rather than bi or pan. this criticism of both lesbians and wlw by lesbians and non-wlw alike only ever allows lesbophobia to grow, both in and out of fandom. that said, lesbians aren’t to blame for their own discrimination; rather, many of us have been conditioned into subconsciously endorsing it after spending our entire lives hearing heterosexual platitudes about lesbians and sapphic relationships. homophobic cishets are and always have been the nexus of this oppression—the only difference is that now they can hide behind alt right lesbians.
one thing has been made apparent to me throughout my time in fandom, and that thing is that no one likes to see men “underrepresented”. people hate sapphic ships and lesbians so much because there is no room for men, and men Do Not Like That. so, like the worms that they are, they slither their way in, be it through fetishization or condemnation of wlw characters and ships, and they ruin whatever good things we have going for us. the thing about worms, though, is that they’re easy enough to crush if you’re wearing the right shoes.
so to all my bi/pan gals and lesbian pals: put on your doc martens, because we’ve got ourselves some lesbophobes to stomp on. 
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satanfemme · 4 years
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what your favorite headcanon people have made about the ultra vs / each v? also (if you would like to say) whats your least favorite headcanon people have made about them?
ok let me think! this is just off the top of my head so I might be forgetting some things but Lets Fcking Gooooo
vinyl: fav hc: saw someone a while back say that he used to make vinyl records in the city out of old x-ray scans (which is a real vinyl making technique afaik!) and that imagery has not left my mind since, even tho my vinyl hc is desert (neutral) born, its just so Good!!!!
least fav hc: a while ago a few people, in response to "all killjoys r trans" headcanons, said things like "all of them r trans except cherri" or "all of them are trans except vinyl" and HELLO???????? its HAUNTING to me what (internalized)transphobia makes people say, like 1. why must there be a token cis in the first place? disgusting. 2. why is it always those two characters... is it cuz they present so masc and u cant imagine a trans man looking like that? incheresting....No Comment. and 3. vinyl (and cherri for that matter tbqh) do NOT even look cis/traditionally-masc, like u really think a cis man could pull off heeled boots and a bright red jumpsuit? I HAVE to laugh. ffh fhfhdjfhfhfjdrhdnk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
vamos: fav hc: my own hc but! neogender and pronoun collector vamos!!! love thinking of fae just. collecting shit! vaya does too to an extent but especially vamos does!
least fav: that fae and vaya aren't twins. I know them being related was never Confirmed canon but its so... Coded imo with how twins are commonly portrayed in media And its such a commonly accepted fanon thing (to the extent that just saying "the twins" is enough that people know who u mean) that it rubs me the wrong way for them to be seriously headcanoned as unrelated but mostly/especially when like. they're hc'ed as not being related so that they can be shipped. :/
vaya: fav hc: again my hc but I do still like thinking bout vaya as an artist, drawing comics and making zines, or at least contributing to zines, theyre the ultra vs token artist and!! theyre just so talented and good!
least fav hc: see above at vamos' hfgfh
volume: fav: Ive seen a Few headcanons like this but Anything about him living up to his name Gets To Me :'3 I Love him so much. Ive seen hcs like that he got his name from being scolded in city schools for being too loud ("volume!") and Ive also seen just "he lives up to his name, shouting and laughing" headcanons and theyre are just SO good and so tangible of a characterization
least fav: seen a few "he wanted to leave the ultra v's" headcanons and I Always hate those headcanons with any of the vs but with volume they just Suck, imo, cause hes in the comic so briefly that like. yeah. i Guess that couldve been the case. but why do u wanna headcanon that, like what does that accomplish when he already left the crew against his own will by dying, hello???? in my hc he did want something more and did consider leaving because of that quite a few times but the v's are his family so he would Never actually want to leave with any seriousness. imho.
val: fav: more of a "text-based interpretation of his character" than a headcanon but val being like That cause he's just. ill. instead of being """"evil"" will always always be such an important characterization to me like. ik Ive analyzed this before. what he did was wrong but his motivations are Super clear if u actually read his/the twin's dialogue and also just. contextually with how killjoys in general are. murder is... not the biggest deal to any of them. so like. bro he was just going Thru It, give him a break!!!! sorry I cant think of more coherent things to say on the matter rn but Ill fcking dig out that masterpost of analysis I made months ago if u want (thats rhetorically Im not gonna do that) I dont even care about woobifying him rn Im living my best life rn and its val velocity appreciation hours
least fav: similar to above but Genuinely when people paint him as an irredeemable villain it bugs the HELL out of me. yes he was an antagonist and yes he was mean etc etc I Know but people singling val out for killing random people as if all of the vs/killjoys werent on board (if not actively participating) with that rubs me the wrong way when, at least in my interpretation of the text, he was super canonically having some sort of breakdown while also being one of the Only killjoys who was trying to actively fight against their oppressors like if u want to hate him for something like him being mean to the girl then VALID, yeah, dick move, I get it, but if u say that him killing whatever random people cause he thinks theyre the spies killing his family means that hes obviously 100% some evil monster And Then u get joy out of just endlessly dunking on him and how much u hate him for being so evil and awful its like come ON. idk what to even say to u I know Im bias but that just feels Gross to me <3 just my opinion, val velocity did nothing wrong club, bye!
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Chapter 3: New Traits and New Fates
Word count: 934 words
Notes: The first two chapters were opening chapters; they give some background to you guys where some of the other characters might not be aware of (dramatic irony, if any of y’all remember that bs from reading Romeo and Juliet in high school lmao). Anyway, this takes place a rough while after the split (2 years). The story will continue to progress from 2 years towards 3 years etc from here, maybe with a flashback or two. I haven’t entirely decided. Also note: I’m adding gender HCs cause I Said So. (Ree is genderfluid, Janus is a cis dudez Remus’s pronouns might change chapter to chapter and sometimes go by Ree instead of Remus. Ro is bigender and goes by both he and she. Patton is also cis, goes by he. Virgil is agender and goes by they and it pronouns. Logan is a demiboy and goes by he and they pronouns. These largely don’t influence the story, it’s just to make note of their pronouns.) Anyway, point is, we’re moving ahead in time now Yeet.
Next Chapter: Useless and Paranoid
Find the rest of the story here!
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Promptly after Remus jumped out from behind the couch, Deceit hissed and slammed the other’s face in with a book. “Can’t you ever not leave me be?” he muttered, going back to his book, which wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. It was just on the laws of the palace, many pages torn, others with smeared letters, or the occasional random fold or odd stain. Ree didn’t take good care of their things.
Remus giggled and grinned, poking the side of Janus’s face. “Nope, no can do Dee-Dee!” they remarked gleefully. “You live in my castle, that means you live being annoyed by me,” they declared, leaning over the back of the couch, which had rips from them throwing their morningstar carelessly across it so many times. Truth be told, Ree always enjoyed Deceit’s remarks towards them. They weren’t predicted, they weren’t preprogrammed. Deceit was nothing like the other characters in their village. Still, they couldn’t help but want more than Deceit. One friend (if you could even call him that) was great, but could you imagine if they had two? It’d be a dream come true! Maybe they’d do something about it later.
By the time Ree had snapped back to reality, Deciet had already been standing to head out of the room, only to be stopped with a few waves of Ree’s hand, pushing Deciet back into his spot. “You know what I like about you most, double-dee?” Deceit merely hummed in response, already knowing where this was going. Ree made it a point to never let Deceit think he wasn’t their absolute favorite, though they’d always give a different reason. “I absolutely love your attitude,” they complimented, resting their hands on top of Deceit’s head before resting their chin atop of that. “What boring book are you reading this time? You know I can conjure more, right? Or like... way more fun things to do.”
Deceit folded the book shut on his finger so Ree could see the cover. “I suppose you could, but wouldn’t that defeat the fun of re-reading the same paragraph twelve times because have the words are scribbled out?” he quipped, earning a soft snicker from Ree.
“Well let me know if you change your mind. I’ll be in my room, business to attend to. Being a duke sucks,” they finished, heading off towards his room. Deceit made some comment about if the other needed help, but Ree was already halfway down the hall by the time he finished his sentence.
Morality was special. Roman had decided this, without a doubt, that indeed, Morality was special.
When Roman had heard about Remus’s new pal—Deceit, he thought—Roman just knew he had to have one too. Morality was a free spirit, clumsy and full of joy, constantly skipping throughout the castle and baking for Roman.
Truthfully, Morality was the only one Roman would fully trust to make his food without someone to try it before he ate it, despite Roman’s the utter lack in ability to die. Not that his people knew that, of course, they knew very little. Only little parts here and there that Roman had practically programmed them to be aware of. Mindless creations, as the King once called them. Roman didn’t care much for the term ‘mindless,’ always thinking it to be a bit harsh to describe his lovely subjects.
When Morality started talking—something about the butter?—Roman snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head some. “Huh? Sorry, what?” He asked, only for Patton to giggle and point to the butter.
“Pass me the butter please,” he repeated, continuing to stir what was already incorporated into the pot. Roman passed over the butter, which Morality added after cutting into uneven cubes, humming softly while he worked. When finished, he wiped his hands on his apron, speaking again, “Should be done soon. Anything you’d like to do in the next four and a half minutes?” he asked, only half joking.
Roman tapped his chin, pretending to think for a moment. “Nope, I got nothing.” Morality nodded and shrugged, a smile on his face as he hummed some and started to clean. This was a fairly average day for them. They often ended up doing activities like this together, baking, coloring, sometimes they’d even visit town together. A few times they went into shops—Morality would always tip as much as he could afford to even after Roman slipped in a pretty penny.
The kingdom had seemed a lot more lively since Morality had been around, as though everyone was enlightened by his being. Roman truly could not imagine anyone to be more fit for helping to take care of the people, even though technically it wasn’t Morality’s job. He was like just that, always taking a parental role. Roman would sometimes joke that Morality was the ‘father of all’ to which Morality would laugh about, never minding the title in the slightest. He embraced it really.
Soon enough the timer for the food went off, and Morality made plates before setting the table with them. The talked as they ate, Morality bringing up the rest of the tasks that Roman had to do in the day. Roman merely groaned and whined about how many duties he as a poor little prince had. Which gave Roman an idea—he didn’t enjoy the idea of one of the people in kingdom taking care of many of those tasks, since they only knew to take orders, really, it won’t help with the stress. But he could certainly do something a little different... create yet another trait. Yes, that would do just finely! He could have Morality as a good friend and a new trait—something logical perhaps—to take care of some things for him!
After dropping his silverware with soft clanking onto the half-empty plate, Roman hopped up from his spot, thanking Morality for the food before hurrying off to start on his idea, a grin on his face as he sprinted through the halls and to his room. He locked the door behind him. Morality didn’t need to know of this of course. Roman had no clue what that would possibly do to him, if he knew he was a figment created by Roman. That would be something he must be careful about... for their safety, if nothing else.
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Tag list
@genderfluidmoma
@sinuous-scakt
@youremotionallystablefriend
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levaer · 4 years
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THE BIG BLEACH HC MEME centering around politics, repost & fill out! For anyone who wanted to explore those aspects more, considering it played a big role in the story. Some things may be unknown to your Muse, just think in WHAT IF then & well, have fun and take your time!
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BASICS
Name:   Askin Nakk Le Vaar    / / /    Age:   1000+    / / /    Gender:   Cis male Race:   Shinigami / Quincy / Hollow / Fullbringer / Visored / Human / Other Currently lives:   Soul Society / Hueco Mundo / Silbern / Living World / Hell  Exact Location:   Half of his life is set in the Wandenreich. Post-war, his location varies. Group(s): Quincy / Sternritter / Schutzstaffel
QUESTIONS
- Would your muse consider themselves more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - Would your muse consider their group more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see them: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their race: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their group: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ?
- Is your muse considered a threat: YES / NO ?  From whom?:  No, because I hc that the Shinigami aren’t actually aware Askin survived; if they knew, however, there’s the possibility he’d be deemed a threat.  - Is your muse powerful: YES / NO ?  Could they be considered OP:  YES / NO ? - Did your muse commit any crimes: YES / NO ? - Does your muse think they are doing mostly the right thing: YES / NO ? - Would society think the same: YES / NO / MIXED OPINIONS ?
- Does your muse think they are treated unfairly: YES / NO ? - Does your muse feel understood from others: YES / NO ? - Is it important for them what others think of them as a person: YES / NO ? - Would they welcome death:  YES / NO ? - Will they ever find peace:  YES / NO ?
01.0.  Do they fully stand behind the group they are part of? YES / NO. Why is that? Explain: Askin likes to think he’s rootless, and that’s true for the most part, but he’s still a human being. He was rootless enough to drop everything he knew, his entire world, and embark on a journey with a blurry destination - but not enough not to feel a little bit of sense of belonging to the Wandenreich, which he has been serving for over a thousand years, and for the Quincy as a whole. They’re not all good or bad, they’re people; he’s not all good or bad, either. But they’re his people, a part of his, even if not aloud, acknowledges this.
02.0.  Do they like as things are in Soul Society? YES / NO / INDIFFERENT. 02.1.  Is there anything they would change? Explain here: Askin is not one to judge. He would not condemn the many for the sins of the few, but ... he would not forgive the few for the sins of the many, either. He’s not too informed about the specific dynamics of Soul Society, though he’s familiar with the violent foundation of it since he fought against the first generation of the Gotei, during the First Quincy War. Let’s say, he would not change anything in particular, but he would not mind if all got wiped away, either. 
03.0. Would they ever actively try to bring change (in general)? YES / NO. 03.1. Is your muse more: passive / active ?  Introverted / Extroverted ? 03.2. Does your muse care more about: others / themselves ?  / /  all of Askin’s life has been projected on someone else’s dream. Ultimately, he looks after himself, but he led a strongly collective life for so long, it kinda shaped him. 03.3. Do they trouble their mind over a lot of problems, others? YES / NO. 03.4. Do they mostly involve: the world / everyone / themselves / comrades / friends / family / elderly / kids / teenagers / home / workplace / strangers / souls / humans / quincy / shinigami / nobles / fullbringer / visored / hollows / espada / arrancar / (former) boss(es) / pets / animals / zanpakuto spirit / enemies / partner / lovers / soul king / god / other…(add more) 03.5. Name (up to) three which are the most on their mind (optional, adding names): Askin has a tendency not to hold onto anything. His own thoughts feel light as clouds to him as they cross his minds, and he’s definitely not the type to obsess over something or someone. After the war, Urahara Kisuke has been on his mind for a while; mostly, he wondered whether he had succeeded in taking him down. Grimmjow too; I think, especially for a Quincy, the feeling of a Hollow’s claws is not something easily forgotten.  
04.0. Do they think frequently about politics? YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Why is that? Explain: More frequently than he would like to, actually. His social background demanded of him at least some basic knowledge of the feudal system, administration and interrelations with other Quincy families and with the central power of the Carolingian empire. That said, Askin never let himself got too involved, but growing up witnessing his lord father administering justice, taxes, law-making etc. kind of left an imprinting. He spent a thousand years serving as a soldier in an army where all the power was intensely centralized, so he did not have much to do with politics - that’s how the Wandenreich was, as Yhwach really wasn’t a politician, anyway. Post-war though, if he contributes to the reformation of a Quincy nation, he will have to get involved whether he likes it or not.
05.0. How do they feel in their current location: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 05.1. Why is that?:  Silbern gives him vertigo. He preferred the instability of the Lichtreich more, but still, he’s not one to complain. The world of the living is as colorful as he remembers, always shapeshifting, and it’s really nice to see the light blue sky again after being hidden in the shadows for so long.
06.0. Does your muse have any goal: YES / NO ?  BIG / SMALL ? - 06.1. Does it involve anything world-changing: YES / NO ? - 06.2. If goal or not, any future plans? Share here:  You know how Askin is, he goes where the wind takes him. He only ever committed once in his life and it wasn’t even to a dream of his own, it was Yhwach’s design, so it would be really unkind to ask him to think about the future haha. In my rebuild verse, any plans for his immediate future involve making himself useful to the new Quincy state. Best way to keep himself occupied.
07.0. Does your muse know about the Original Sin of Soul Society*: YES / NO ? * curious? Read about it here. 07.1. If they knew, would it change their views on Soul Society: YES / NO ? 07.2. More: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ?  / /    I’m not sure Askin would care to the point of completely changing his opinion on Soul Society, since it’s already a pretty negative one. It would feel somewhat eerie to him, thinking that the victim of the original sin was Yhwach’s literal father, though.
08.0. Who is the worst person in their eyes?:  Mayuri Kurotsuchi. 08.1. What should happen to them?  Execution (quick / slow death) / Imprisonment / Stripped of their powers / Torture / Repay for their sins / Pay a Fine / Social Work / lose their loved ones / Exile / other… (add more). 08.2. Explanation: he’d kill Mayuri off quickly, as one gets rid of a thorn. It wouldn’t be a painless death, but it wouldn’t take too long; Askin is not a sadist by nature, and he would just want to make sure the bastard doesn’t take one more breath in the world.
09.0. Thoughts on: Quincy Massacre if they knew: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 09.1. Would they be alright with such thing happening again: YES / NO / INDIFFERENT ? 09.2. Would they try to prevent it: YES / NO / DEPENDS ? 09.3. Explanation:  I said this already, the Quincy genocide is a generational trauma for the Quincy, even those too young to be born at the time. Askin is unmoved by most things, but he witnessed with his own eyes those of his kind that were captured and killed and experimented on.  It’s something you just don’t forget, and Askin doesn’t forget easily anyway. If such a thing were to happen again, and lbr there’s a possibility since the numbers of the Quincy are always carefully monitored, Askin would fight, despite his general dislike for overall idea.
10.0. Would they ever switch sides: YES / NO ?  10.1. If yes, What could bring them to do so?:    - 10.2. Would they create a new one: YES / NO ?  or join a current one? If so, which:  Until his defeat, Askin’s allegiance is to Yhwach and betraying him / switching sides like some Sternritters did is off the table. After the war, however, he’s free of bonds, so if someone were to try and gain his loyalty, he’d consider it. He doesn’t fuck with Soul Society, though.
11.0. Does your muse follow a certain moral code*?:  YES / NO / GRAY AREA ? * (ethics) A written, formal, and consistent set of rules prescribing righteous behavior, accepted by a person or by a group of people. 11.1. What does it involve?: it’s more of what’s in his character than a real set-up code, he’s not so chivalrous. He lives by the principle of letting people live their lives without prying and being chill, mostly.  11.2. What does it NOT involve?: Askin is not a sadist, although he can be a real bastard if he commits to it. He has no problem killing, no matter how gruesomely, but he’s not entirely comfortable with harming children. He’s also not a creep lol, he wouldn’t give someone unwanted attention. 
YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE GROUPS ?
Central 46:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because: the core of Soul Society executive functions, and by extension, the most fucked up.
Four Great Noble Clans:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because: he’s not knowledgeable enough about the specifics of Soul Society politics to have an opinion on its nobility. Askin is nobility too, after all. 
Royal Guards / Gotei 13:   positive / negative / neutral .   ━   because: they’re the ones primarily responsible for the genocide, the ones Askin fought against during the first and the second war, the ones who reinforce the violent supremacy of Shinigami and who openly oppose his people. 
Fullbringer:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  doesn’t really know them, doesn’t care. A human with hollow-based abilities is somewhat of an abomination in the eyes of a Quincy, I believe, but Askin is an open-minded person.
Visored:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  Shinigami AND Hollows? Ew.
Espada:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  his only experience with an Espada in canon was Grimmjow, and it’s a tricky subject. He’s never come in contact with Aizen’s whole elite, so not much of an opinion could be formed.
Quincy:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  he’s a Quincy. It doesn’t matter how disconnected Askin might feel from his people, he devoted his entire life to the Quincy as a group, though indirectly. Askin has a cynical and disenchanted look on the world, he doesn’t buy into the romanticized concept of ‘Quincy pride’, but at the end of the day, he remains a Quincy. The millenary story of his people, their culture and powers are integral to Askin’s upbringing. He thinks he’s rootless, but he’ll never be able to uproot the Quincy in him.
YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE (IMPORTANT) PEOPLE ?
Aizen:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  he knows Aizen by reputation alone, as one of the Five Special War Powers; he’s been told the guy is a real asshole, but Askin doesn’t judge. 
Yhwach:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  Yhwach is awe-inspiring. The sense of wonder he got Askin to feel, unmoved by the passing of centuries, is the closest thing to feeling really alive he ever experienced in his life. It’s not that Askin is loyal to Yhwach himself; he’s loyal to that deep-seated feeling of wonder, the thrill of diving into the sea without knowing what’s awaiting under the surface.
Mayuri:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  his gratuitous cruelty and the horrible things he did to Quincies viscerally nauseate Askin. And you know it takes a lot to upset him.
Kurosaki:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  he’s just a boy. Why is everyone obsessed with this boy? 
Soul King:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  Askin is, and always has been, quite divorced from religion. He knows the guy is literally God. He knows Pernida and Gerard are directly linked to him, parts of him, and that Yhwach is his son but ... that’s about it. 
EXTRA(optional): add more characters which hold some meaning to your muse.
Grimmjow:   This is largely self-indulgent, but being (almost) killed by Grimmjow was like catching an disease you have been vaccinated against. The illness is meeker, sort of slowed down, but you feel the clash with the vaccine within your veins, you feel it distinctively. For one who lives between life and death, the experience Grimmjow gave him, that of a frozen instant in which he’s both alive and dead, is something Askin will never forget. He will never forget the feeling. 
CONGRATS, you managed till to the end, now tag your fellow bleach partners!
TAGGED BY: myself, @senboago​ and @tatarfora​ TAGGING: steal it.
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firstritter · 4 years
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THE BIG BLEACH HC MEME centering around politics, repost & fill out! For anyone who wanted to explore those aspects more, considering it played a big role in the story. Some things may be unknown to your Muse, just think in WHAT IF then & well, have fun and take your time!
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BASICS
Name:   Lille Barro    / / /    Age:   1000+    / / /    Gender:   Cis male Race:   Shinigami / Quincy / Hollow / Fullbringer / Visored / Human / Other Currently lives:   Soul Society / Hueco Mundo / Silbern / Living World / Hell Exact Location:   His life was in the world of the living before the Wandenreich was founded, and then he barely left Silbern, as most of his brothers and sisters in arms who survived the first war. I still have to write a post-war verse, so I’m leaving it at that. Group(s): Quincy / Sternritter / Schutzstaffel
QUESTIONS
- Would your muse consider themselves more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - Would your muse consider their group more: GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see them: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their race: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ? - How does your muse think others see their group: GOOD / EVIL / NEUTRAL ?
- Is your muse considered a threat: YES / NO ?  From whom?:  Apart from Jugram, he’s the one Sternritter who is closest to Yhwach, the leader of the emperor’s personal guard, one of the strongest quincies in general. I figure that if the Shinigami put bounties over their heads after the first war, Lille would be one of the richest prizes. - Is your muse powerful: YES / NO ?  Could they be considered OP:  YES / NO ? ( Lille’s abilities may appear somewhat plain and he still got defeated by the (assembled) Royal Guards, but he’s still stronger than most captains combined so I guess he qualifies as OP. ) - Did your muse commit any crimes: YES / NO ? - Does your muse think they are doing mostly the right thing: YES / NO ? - Would society think the same: YES / NO / MIXED OPINIONS ?  ( Soul Society probably wouldn’t lol, but to the Quincy community scattered over the world, what they’re doing offers a promise of revenge and liberation. Also they’re bringing forth a kingdom of heaven, so, Lille adamantly believes there should be no doubt as to the righteousness of their war. )
- Does your muse think they are treated unfairly: YES / NO ?  ( Individually, no.  But his kind has always been stomped upon, so it’s a bit of a yes, too. ) - Does your muse feel understood from others: YES / NO ?  ( The youngest quincies might not understand him at all. ) - Is it important for them what others think of them as a person: YES / NO ? - Would they welcome death:  YES / NO ? - Will they ever find peace:  YES / NO ?  ( Only by Yhwach’s side. After his death, Lille would be broken and restless. )
01.0.  Do they fully stand behind the group they are part of? YES / NO. Why is that? Explain: Lille did not believe in the wholeness and the consistence of the hope for a Quincy nation before he came to meet Yhwach. Not only because he was young, but also because his world was extremely small, narrowed down to his and a few more families that, together with some regularly human ones, made up his community. Meeting Yhwach, coming in contact with his people and bonding with them over their belonging to the same group, certainly broadened Lille’s horizons. The oppression and deaths they endured over the centuries only contributed to further solidify his belief that the Quincy will never be free as long as Shinigami exist and retain the power to shape the asset of the world(s). He believes in their common dream, and he loves his people fiercely.
02.0.  Do they like as things are in Soul Society? YES / NO / INDIFFERENT. 02.1.  Is there anything they would change? Explain here:   He perceives Soul Society as a paragon of evil, and although he’s not so well-navigated in the specifics of its politics, Lille knows it is rotten to the core. ‘Things’ in Soul Society cannot possibly go well as long as Shinigami have the power. 
03.0. Would they ever actively try to bring change (in general)? YES / NO. 03.1. Is your muse more: passive / active ?  Introverted / Extroverted ?   ( He takes initiative, but it all ultimately boils down to Yhwach’s will. He obeys him. ) 03.2. Does your muse care more about: others / themselves ?  ( He cares about Yhwach and the Quincy more than anything else. ) 03.3. Do they trouble their mind over a lot of problems, others? YES / NO. 03.4. Do they mostly involve: the world / everyone / themselves / comrades / friends / family / elderly / kids / teenagers / home / workplace / strangers / souls / humans / quincy / shinigami / nobles / fullbringer / visored / hollows / espada / arrancar / (former) boss(es) / pets / animals / zanpakuto spirit / enemies / partner / lovers / soul king / god / other…(add more) 03.5. Name (up to) three which are the most on their mind (optional, adding names): Yhwach is makes up the gist of his entire world. He left everything he knew and did everything in his power to find him, Lille worships him to the point of fanatism; being allowed to serve Yhwach is the greatest honor, and consequently, what’s most on his mind revolves around Yhwach and serving him well.  He also takes the matters of the Quincy to heart, and despite not being very sociable, he’s also fond of his comrades - he shared a lot with them.
04.0. Do they think frequently about politics? YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Why is that? Explain:  Lille is a character with more religious and spiritual implications than political, but every Quincy character is, in a way or another, affected by politics. He’s no exception, but because he has a kind of black-and-white worldview, he can be somewhat naive in that regard.
05.0. How do they feel in their current location: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 05.1. Why is that?:  Quincy originally belong to the broad spaces of the world of the living, and Lille undoubtedly misses them. That said, the hidden state of the Wandenreich prevented the total extermination of a good chunk of their people and protected them for centuries, it’s his home and he’s adapted to it pretty well. As a sniper, hiding in the shadows of the enemy and waiting to strike is pretty much his natural condition.
06.0. Does your muse have any goal: YES / NO ?  BIG / SMALL ?  ( His only goal is to see Yhwach’s design fulfilled. ) 06.1. Does it involve anything world-changing: YES / NO ?  06.2. If goal or not, any future plans? Share here:  Apart from the realization of Yhwach’s goal, his only ambition is to continue serving his king and the Quincy. I’m sure Lille would deny himself the possibility to fall in love and build a family, as it would be a distraction from a lifetime long vocation.
07.0. Does your muse know about the Original Sin of Soul Society*: YES / NO ? * curious? Read about it here. 07.1. If they knew, would it change their views on Soul Society: YES / NO ? -  07.2. More: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ?  ( The Original Sin is at the base of Lille’s extremely negative opinion of Soul Society, actually, so his views would not shift much. )
08.0. Who is the worst person in their eyes?:  Genryusai Yamamoto 08.1. What should happen to them?  Execution (quick / slow death) / Imprisonment / Stripped of their powers / Torture / Repay for their sins / Pay a Fine / Social Work / lose their loved ones / Exile / other… (add more). 08.2. Explanation:  He remembers Yamamoto’s flames vividly. He remembers the smell of burnt flesh of his comrades, the screams, and how the man (who was truly nothing more than a murderer who donned an aura of respectability) took their God and king away from them. The right to kill the man belongs to Yhwach, but Lille would have very much liked to put a gaping hole in his head. 
09.0. Thoughts on: Quincy Massacre if they knew: POSITIVE / NEGATIVE / NEUTRAL ? 09.1. Would they be alright with such thing happening again: YES / NO / INDIFFERENT ? 09.2. Would they try to prevent it: YES / NO / DEPENDS ? 09.3. Explanation:  The Quincy are his people, lbr no Quincy would be alright with what was done to them. Lille is a very proud individual, and he could never cope with the shock, the shame, the humiliation and the pain of seeing his people, people like him that weren’t lucky enough to be protected by the Schatten Bereich, be systematically exterminated and experimented on. Just thinking about it makes him furious.
10.0. Would they ever switch sides: YES / NO ? 10.1. If yes, What could bring them to do so?:    - 10.2. Would they create a new one: YES / NO ?  or join a current one? If so, which:  Lille is a loner, truly like a sniper. He would never betray Yhwach, but post-war, I cannot see him actively searching for other surviving quincies to start a new community; he cherishes his solitude, and especially after the war, I think he’d be much more withdrawn in the attempt to cope with the defeat. 
11.0. Does your muse follow a certain moral code*?:  YES / NO / GRAY AREA ? * (ethics) A written, formal, and consistent set of rules prescribing righteous behavior, accepted by a person or by a group of people. 11.1. What does it involve?:  He’d do anything Yhwach asked of him, but as a general rule, he leaves children and civilians out of things.  11.2. What does it NOT involve?:  He doesn’t ‘fight fair’, he fights and kills mercilessly. 
YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE GROUPS ?
Central 46:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because: they’re just old men desperately clinging to power. 
Four Great Noble Clans:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because: he knows what their ancestors did to the Soul King, the Quincy’s ancestor. It feels like the first of a long series of slights done to their people.
Royal Guards / Gotei 13:   positive / negative / neutral .   ━   because: they are the violent core of Soul Society; an array of deceitful, paternalistic and oppressive individual who hide behind the excuse of ‘balance’ to reinforce their supremacy.
Fullbringer:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  he never came in contact with any of them, though through rp his opinion might shift.
Visored:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  they’re Shinigami, and they’re Hollows. Also, the fact that despite what was done to them, they accepted to go back to Soul Society and now fight within the ranks of the Gotei? Huh. 
Espada:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  they’re Hollows, it doesn’t matter how human or civilized they might look. There’s always that ugly shudder crawling up his spine that makes Lille immediately pull the trigger. 
Quincy:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  again, they’re his people. He believe their war to be a righteous one and he’s protective of them. I’m not sure how important the concept of ‘Quincy pride’ is to Lille, because he’s already a proud individual and his pride stems largely from his bond with Yhwach, rather than from the simple belonging to the Quincy as a community. Lille doesnt’ even contribute much to their communal life anyway, so haha. Still, pride aside, he loves the Quincy, and that love made the slights against them brew a deep, burdening ire within him that carried on through the centuries.
YOUR MUSE’S VIEWS / OPINIONS ON THESE (IMPORTANT) PEOPLE ?
Aizen:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  he’s a traitor of his kind, and even had the presumption to call himself ‘a god’. There’s no greater heresy.
Yhwach:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  not to get redundant but Yhwach is the God he worships, fights for, waited for. He crossed land and water just because, one night, he heard Yhwach’s voice calling him. He found his people and was given a purpose thanks to Yhwach, he fought in a war without hope for Yhwach. He waited almost 1000 years, patiently, for Yhwach to awaken and regain his senses. It’s difficult to express with words the link that ties the divinity and the devotee; i think it’s trust, wonder, faith and love. 
Mayuri:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  the idea that such a cruel, disgusting criminal still walks freely in the Soul Society as a high-ranked officer viscerally upsets Lille. He would kill him without even wanting to see that face of his.
Kurosaki:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  a Gemischt Quincy, brainwashed and exploited by Soul Society sounds like a terribly sad story. I think that, while not knowing him and acknowledging the threat Ichigo poses, Lille pities him.
Soul King:   positive / negative / neutral.   ━   because:  he respects the Soul King for what he has been and for constituting the primordial archetype of the Quincy people, but he sides with Yhwach in wanting to end the agony and the unacceptable disrespect paid to that poor creature.
EXTRA(optional): add more characters which hold some meaning to your muse.
Gerard: they are the oldest members of the Schutzstaffel (and Pernida doesn’t really count), the way they interact makes me think that there’s a familiarity between them you don’t see elsewhere. I think they’ve been together through a lot, having fought together and shared the same expectant devotion. They’re definitely brothers in arms and good friends.
CONGRATS, you managed till to the end, now tag your fellow bleach partners!
TAGGED BY: always crediting @skyvar​ for her amazing meme uwu TAGGING: nope.
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queenbxx · 5 years
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𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻
repost, don’t reblog !
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𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
FULL NAME. d’vorah NICKNAME. insect , bee , queen GENDER.  cis female HEIGHT. 5′ 3″ to 5′ 4″ AGE. unknown ZODIAC. unknown SPOKEN LANGUAGES. kytinn , english , hebrew , japanese 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
HAIR COLOR. bald EYE COLOR. black SKIN TONE. yellowish BODY TYPE.  thick , sculpted exoskeleton VOICE.  flat , assured , slight vocal ticks / pauses   DOMINANT HAND. ambidextrous POSTURE. upright. very good posture SCARS. not many due to regeneration ability , some minor cracks / temporary bruising to exoskeleton . TATTOOS. markings on scalp , hands , back BIRTHMARKS. nona MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). everything
𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !
PLACE OF BIRTH. arnyek HOMETOWN. one of the islands ( working on hc ) SIBLINGS. millions PARENTS. unknown 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !
OCCUPATION.  pre traitor / 2nd in command ( ambassador ) for Kotal + post traitor / fugitive , queen of kytinn ( trying to re-establish the kytinn / restore arnyek ) CURRENT RESIDENCE. outworld CLOSE FRIENDS. erron black , reptile / syzoth , torra , ermac , cassie cage  RELATIONSHIP STATUS. single ( verse dependant : @blackpowders / @skarredlet / @toxinkind ) FINANCIAL STATUS.  low - mid class DRIVER’S LICENSE. no , thank goodness CRIMINAL RECORD. treason , murder VICES. pride , retribution for arnyek / kytinn 
𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. asexual / grey sexual PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. submissive | dominant | switch LIBIDO. average , though increasing during mating season TURN ON’S. RESPECT , nuff said  TURN OFF’S. aggressive , dominance ( prefers sub / switch ) , violence such as knife play ( activates fight or flight / she’ll kill you )   LOVE LANGUAGE. respect , supportive physical touch , encouragement RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. in a role of romance , d’vorah is naive emotionally , often not understanding the concept of love . as a primary function , relationships are sexual and she understands that responsibility as female and queen . however , love can be slowly developed and understood though still with emotional restraints . d’vorah is a supportive partner , encouraging and believes in redemption if her partner strays from a path they desire to follow . perfection is a constant achievement through perseverance not inherently acquired hence the ability to forgive but she won’t be repetitive of this mercy . though her loyalty wobbles , as long as her partner understands her strong obsession to save her race and realm , they can overcome many struggles that are likely when shipping w / d’vorah . she may not bee the most romantic , but she does have her many cute quirks ( as gross as she is alksikj ) .
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.  n/a at this time , i’m too lazy HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. producing honey / pollinating flowers / reading LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. ambidextrous  PHOBIAS. no phobias just a few triggers . SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. whilst under the rule of shao khan d’vorah’s confidence was very low / uncertain she could hold her own or stand up to the emperor . though , through meeting erron and slowly the rest of kotal’s merry band and the new and improved emperor , her confidence increased . her self confidence has been through waves to get where it is now . VULNERABILITIES.  n / a
TAGGED BY FROM: @grimsouled  (  thank you !! <3 ) TAGGING: @ anyone who wants to , i can’t remember who all was tagged or has done it
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Esther Stoley
Is she going to whip her brother into shape? Esther has been accepted! Please send in a faceclaim to be featured on the main page.
out of character info
Name/Alias: bea / trizzy / beatriz Pronouns: she / her / he / him / they / them / trash Age: 19 (20 in May) Join Our Discord: sure thing !! Timezone: est Activity: 6 – ish ( i’ll be on at least every other day c: ) Triggers: nada !! Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass ;)) Character that you’re applying for: Esther Stoley Favourite ships for your character: Esther / Chemistry
in character info
Full name: Esther Lyn Stoley Birthday: June 18th Sexuality, gender, pronouns: Bicurious, cis female, she / her Age and grade: 17, senior Faceclaim: Ha Young / @dull_ouuo on instagram Appearance:  Head / face: Smooth, nearly flawless, pale skin is the product of Esther’s constant skin care routine and her jet black, shoulder length hair frames her heart shaped face. Her features are soft but defined with a jaw line that could cut diamonds. Her eyes are a deep brown, followed by a button nose, and plump lips that are, more often than not, lightly coated in lip tint. Her only “imperfections” are two small moles – one on her left cheek, and the other on the left side of her nose.
Body: Her body is rather thin, but still healthy. She stands at approximately 5’1 and weighs about 102 pounds. She hates the fact that she’s so short, and would definitely fight you if you start picking on her about her height. Aside from her height issues, she is happy with her body.
Style: The clothing that Esther chooses to wear can be described Asian Street Style. Her outfits are self-described as eclectic and eccentric – which essentially means each ensemble varies and can possibly be viewed as strange or extraordinary, especially for the South Park norm. Her face is often lightly painted with makeup – her eyes are usually lined with a dark brown or black and have either light or neutral colored eye shadow, and her lips vary from dark, matte lipsticks ( usually shades of red ) to soft, glossy tints. Personality:  Smart, conniving, hopeless romantic, and chic – that’s Esther. She maintains straight A’s in school with the occasional B plus, but anything below won’t satisfy her need for success, so she tries her hardest and can often be found locked in her room, listening to music and studying for her next quiz. Despite her smarts, she can often be a bit air-headed and forgetful at times – which stresses her out, especially when she knows that she had forgotten something and she just can’t remember what it was, no matter how hard she wracked her brain. She often dreams about finding love – but she usually doesn’t put herself out there as much as she should – so she usually doesn’t get into relationships ( although she does had the occasional secret fling ).
She can be found at parties quite regularly, but she is more of an introvert and would much rather be snuggled up in a big, fluffy, fresh-out-of-the-dryer blanket with a plethora of snacks at her disposal while she watches some random movies or reads some books. She does keep a lot of secrets from just about everyone – especially anyone outside of her family – she’d hate if she came upon some gossip of herself. She can be overly emotional at times – but she hardly ever shows that to anyone. On the days she feels like she’s gonna burst out into tears at any second, she stays home and locks herself in her bedroom, somehow convincing her teachers that she was bedridden and sick on those absent days. History:  Like her brother, Esther spent a good portion of her childhood immersed in a whole ‘nother world away from the mess of a town that they lived in – however, instead of comics and syfy – she indulged in love stories and cringy fantasy novels. As she got older, she started to stray away from her false world and came back into reality. She interacted more and more with the girls at her school – even becoming pretty popular and being brought into the “inner circle” of girls. Of course, a great deal of things changed over the switch from elementary to middle school – Esther even made changes to her personality. She became more secretive and hid the softer and kinder side of herself so she wouldn’t accidentally get involved with the wrong people and hurt herself and nobody would see her as weak or as easy prey. She kept her emotions to herself and acted colder to people around her. Puberty hit her like a freight train – she was covered in acne as a pre-teen and all of a sudden her skin was soft and clear with hardly any marks or blemishes in sight. Esther felt better now that she looked better ( in her opinion of course ). She started gaining a ton of positive self esteem and held herself in a way where she exuded a level of confidence. She honestly felt like a queen. As she made the transition into 12th grade, she – thankfully – kept that confidence and self esteem boost ( though she did still get emotional at times, because, who doesn’t? ), but she did start taking time away from being social to live another life through books once again. Sample paragraph:  Esther had just gotten off school and since she hadn’t had anything else to do for the day she decided to sit down and relax with a nice book. In order for her to really enjoy said book, she had to set a mood. She threw her backpack into a corner by the door and took off her shoes, running to start up a pot of coffee. The short girl quickly put on a pot of coffee and quickly and quietly, ran to her room – she shut the blinds and lit a few floral scented candles, making the room dark, but well lit enough for her to be able to read her book. She purposely messed her bed up, forming a nest of blankets in the center and ran back down to her kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee. She poured the freshly brewed instant coffee into a teal mug, mixing in a small bit of sugar before carefully bringing it up to her bedroom and sitting it down on her nightstand. She went over to one of her several bookshelves and pulled out a book that she’d planned on reading for a while called ‘Siren’ by a woman named Janet Fox.
She went over to her blanket nest and made herself cozy, pulling one of the blankets over her shoulders. Before she started to read, she took a long sip of coffee, then she opened to the first page. For nearly two hours, she was fully immersed in her book – reading about gangsters in the 1920’s. However, as soon as her brother opened her door to see if she was home, her set mood was ruined. She accepted that she was no longer to envelope herself in as much comfort as she was in before and put her book away. She blew out the candles and allowed natural light to shine through her blinds once more as she sipped up the last bit of her coffee. Headcanons:  ✧ Sometimes, she ( not-so-secretly ) reads Kevin’s comics. ✧ She would 10/10 fight to protect her brother. ✧ If you get into a relationship with her, she can be a bit clingy, so beware. ✧ She secretly crushed on all of the Goths in middle school, with the exception of Firkle, because she thought they were all really cool. ✧ She changes her hair up every other month – it’s always one of these 3 colors – grey with slight blue tints, brown, or black. Black is by far her favorite hair color for herself and she has that color most often. ✧ She’s almost always up-to-date on the latest gossip and drama in town. ✧ She has an intense love of poetry. ✧ There’s a raven that is often in her backyard and she feeds it when she sees it. ✧ She has 3 full length bookshelves in her room and one small bookshelf that doubles as her nightstand. ✧ She may not say nor show it much but she loves Kevin with all of her heart. ✧ That being said, if anyone hurts Kevin, you better avoid Esther as much as you can or else you’re in for a beating. ✧ She knows quite a lot of Chinese; and she often shouts in Mandarin when she’s angry. ✧ She has at least 4 cups of coffee a day. ✧ She smokes when she’s stressed ( strictly cigarettes ) ✧ She lost her virginity at 15 to Bradley Biggle – not her greatest achievement. ✧ She broke up with Bradley shortly afterwards – he thinks it was mutual and they’re on good terms – but she sent him home sobbing and she would most definitely stab him if it was morally accepted and she wouldn’t go to jail for it. ✧ She has a Siamese Cat named BaoBei – meaning “baby” in Chinese. ✧ She’s head of the school newspaper. ✧ She’s considered joining the poetry club – but she doesn’t think her own poetry would be good enough for it – and so she didn’t. ✧ She took up a job at Benny’s as a waitress for some extra cash. ✧ She really likes looking at art, but she’s not really into art, if you get what I mean. ✧ She loves the vintage aesthetic. ✧She’s not the best cook, but she can microwave stuff, and that’s better than nothing. ✧ Her favorite color is dark teal. Anything else: tell me if i should change anything !! thank you guys !! also, sorry i gave such random hc’s i just got a ton of muse + ideas. in addition, this blog i’m sending from will be esther’s once i do some re-vamping uwu
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gritandoengay · 6 years
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differentstarlightsublime mentioned you in a post
@fuckyeahhayleywilliams​ and @dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou​ and @gritandoengay​ I have not seen homophobic remarks from any Bellarke stans and if so, very few. No one is erasing the fact she was with Lexa. Hell, no one should be erasing the fact they loved each other. In fact Clexa was overcoming my Bellarke love but the fact that they had so little time made Bellarke my final ship.
Ok @differentstarlightsublime​ seeing as you made this asinine post pop up in my notifications again I’m going to make you a list of reasons why I have no reservations calling the Bellarke fandom lesbophobic and a toxic environment for wlw:
Preface: I don’t care what you say you’ve seen or haven’t seen, I’ve seen more than enough on Tumblr and Twitter in the past almost two years to form my opinion.
Section A: Metas 
1. Popular metas circulated and widely accepted in the Bellarke fandom describing Lexa with language literally used to be homophobic towards lesbians:
Toxic, creepy, predatory
Only caring about “getting in Clarke’s pants” and obsessed with Clarke to the point of deliberately keeping her away from Bellamy 
Only caring about maintaining her political power and not caring about anything or anybody else, not even her own people or Clarke (somehow, despite point 2)
Manipulating Clarke into falling in love with her 
Using Stockholm Syndrome to make Clarke fall in love with her. It should also be pointed out that the Stockholm Syndrome metas would imply Stockholm Syndrome is a byproduct of rape, and that Clexa therefore had non-con under/overtones.  
A cyborg that was never truly human 
2. Popular metas circulated and widely accepted in the Bellarke fandom with biphobic language describing Clarke as: 
“Confused” when she kissed Lexa or fell in love with her 
Having to be separated from her friends and mother to fall in love with Lexa
Going through a “phase” when she kissed or fell in love with Lexa 
Using Lexa purely for political purposes 
Section B: Reaction to Lexa dying/Bury Your Gays/Queer Baiting
1. Arguing that Bury Your Gays:
Is not a big deal because straight characters die too
Is not what happened with Lexa 
Is only Bury Your Gays if the character is explicitly killed off for being a lesbian
Is not an issue anymore because there are like 5 other shows with popular wlw pairings 
2. Arguing that Clexa wasn’t queer baiting because:
Clexa got together and was canon
Everybody should have seen it coming and not been surprised
Ignoring that Shawna Benson went on a wlw online forum to literally lie to fans and tell them to go seek therapy (classy) over the trust issues 
3. Defending/downplaying/straight up mocking Lexa’s death because: 
It had to happen for plot purposes! There’s no way she could have lived!
Alycia is on FTWD (their schedules haven’t overlapped since)
She was just a guest star (as if guest stars are limited to two seasons)
“I want to make dead lesbian jokes and if you get offended it’s because you don’t have a sense of humor sweaty” 
Lexa was a bitch in their eyes so no sympathy for the people that liked her
She deserved to die as well as die a more painful and gruesome death
Being killed off by her father figure, who was trying to murder her girlfriend bc he didn’t approve of the relationship, somehow does not echo real world violence faced at the hands of homophobic parents
Complaining that Lexa and her death to this day are still getting attention from the media
Resentment that Lexa has become such an iconic character and is so important to wlw viewers 
4. Defending Jason Rothenberg because:
We should be thankful he gave us Lexa and Clexa to begin with (he also gave you Bellamy and Octavia and is responsible for her beating him up)
It’s his show so he can do whatever the hell he wants with the story (yeah and I can still call him a racist queer baiting shitty writer) 
People make mistakes and he apologized u.u
Lbr the only reason anybody defends him or kisses his ass is because they want Bellarke to happen  
Section C: Dismissal of lesbian characters/wlw relationships in general
1. Clexa: 
Was not groundbreaking or important representation 
Was fan service 
Had too much screen time 
Didn’t have enough screen time thus no proper development (often times said in tandem with point 3) 
Happened only because Clarke was rejected by Bellamy (according to metas and said nowhere in the show itself)
Was annoying/downright infuriating bc it was getting in the way of Bellarke 
Clarke should have gotten over Lexa 5 seconds after her death but for sure is going to still be in love with Bellamy (according to metas) after 6 years of no contact 
Somehow more violent than other ships when Bellarke have done things like handcuffed/drugged/shot at each other, Murphy literally shot Raven in the spine, Octavia hit Lincoln, Kane whip lashed Abby, etc.
Saying that Lexa forced herself on Clarke when they first kissed (have you watched that scene??? no seriously have you??????)
Comparing the Clexa love scene to Ontari raping Murphy 
2. Niylah/Niylarke:
Ignoring Niylah as a love interest for Clarke and dismissing Niylarke as purely “friends with benefits” when we all know people would be screaming canon if Clarke were seen cuddling in a bed with Bellamy like she has with Niylah 
Being mad that season 4 had Niylarke
Literally ignoring Niylah’s existence
Being the reason for Niylah existing to begin with because some people didn’t/refused to believe Clarke was bi after S2 
3. Lexa’s own freaking sexuality:
Writing fanfiction of Lexa having sex with a man (that I’ve seen alone, there’s fanfics of her sleeping with Bellamy, Roan and even Miller, another gay!)
Calling said fanfiction of Lexa having sex with men a “kink”
Shipping Lexa with Bellamy
Writing/drawing Lexa as part of a polyamorous relationship with Bellarke, which wouldn’t be a problem in itself if she wasn’t also often depicted as being involved in sexual activities with both Clarke and Bellamy
Getting upset when confronted, usually followed by asking why wlw shippers can take straight characters and hc them as lesbian/bi but they can’t take lesbian characters and hc them as bisexual or straight  
Section D: Biphobia/lesbophobia towards femslash shippers
1. Speaking over wlw:
Being cis straight and speaking over wlw shippers on wlw characters
Thinking that they have a license to speak over wlw/be lesbophobic bc they ship male characters together
Telling wlw that they need to care about mlm ships just as much as they do about wlw rep and/or that they don’t actually care about lgbt rep if they don’t talk about (insert mlm ship)  
Telling wlw to shut up about BYG/queer baiting bc gays are dying in Russia 
“X and Y people in the Bellarke fandom are wlw and they agree with me therefore I must be right!” 
Reacting to people bringing up the BYG and queer baiting in The 100 with “god move on already”
Telling wlw that complain about the queer baiting and BYG to “seek help” in order to get over their issues with the show, which is a pretty fucking homophobic way of wording things considering that for lgbt youth those words are usually accompanied by being sent to conversion therapy. 
2. Biphobia/Bisexual rep:
Getting angry at people that say there are bisexuals with a preference for women. Imagine that! Bisexuality in itself can be fluid and not always 50/50 attraction or dating! 
Berating bisexuals for preferring to see a femslash ship over an m/f one 
Invalidating the sexualities of bisexuals that don’t ship Blarke
Making up statistics about the prevalence of f/f ships literally to shut down  bisexuals that want to see more f/f ships
Implying that Clarke now HAS to get with a guy, aka Bellamy, for it to be bisexual rep
——————————————————————
There you go, a whole list of reasons the Bellarke fandom is lesbophobic that is not “they don’t ship Clexa” or the outright “I hate lesbians/god hates gays” that has also been seen 
BTW, all of these are things I’ve seen multiple times over the years and many in posts with hundreds or thousands of notes, I won’t shed a single tear if you come crying to me about only a few people doing this 
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Over the past few days (ETA 9/26: this post was written September 2, 2017), a year long, passive aggressive dispute I’ve been involved with has come to a head. This dispute, which has originated in the Star Wars roleplay community here on Tumblr, has been with someone I’m referring to as Vik, the name I believe she’s going by.
What follows is, yes, a callout post, but one that, in my feeling, has been previously explicitly invited by the other party. At this time, as Vik has indicated that she is closing down most of her roleplay blogs, I’m posting this to give a better overview of the dispute as I have personally experienced it and in an attempt to head off at the pass accusations that Vik was treated overly harshly this week.
It is, primarily, a document of the entire history of the dispute as it seems to me from where I am standing. I feel it disingenuous for Vik to characterize the dispute as solely over her not accepting a headcanon into her own interpretation. For me, I've settled into an animosity with Vik due to her bigoted patterns of behavior over the past year, and any attempt to recently adopt LGBT headcanons for certain characters or dress up her statements in pseudo-progressive language cannot adequately mask that.
ETA 9/26: with the newest iteration of Vik’s blog, probably worth noting that she has read this post and she does not refute any of the accusations I put forward. Though, it is equally worth noting that the page in which she notes this is written in a somewhat tongue in cheek manner, interpret as you will (trackaflitnat, webcitation)
Who is involved?
Well, there’s a lot of people involved, if you define involved as referenced or addressed at any point during the feud. But, the major players are:
Myself, Gena. I blog from ordowennen (formerly cassiansfuzzyjacket), roleplay from nullclass, and maintain an aesthetic blog at knifeedgekindofman.
Vik, also referred to by others as Merlia. Runs a plethora of blogs, but the following are the relevant: roleplay blogs merliaseidon and nullarc6 (which was located at null-6 until August 30, personal blog andriktheunsmiling (now deactivated, later moved to rc-6666), and finnessential. On September 26, 2017, she started her Kom’rk blog again at trackaflitnat. New personal as of April 2018 at sharkbitch. Here is a list of her blogs, as provided by herself.
Izzy, who blogs from izzovercoffee and roleplayed from tapcaftogo. Izzy is one of the parties with whom Vik disagrees, and I believe that Vik addresses many of her vagueblogging to Izzy in addition to myself. For the purposes of this post, and because I can only speak to myself, I will refer to most vagueblogging in reference to only myself.
What is the dispute?
For me, my animosity towards Vik comes out of her bigotry, and I’ve observed behavior that I’ve felt to be racist, transphobic, and misogynistic or that I’ve felt to be implicitly supporting such bigotry.
Vik recently characterized the dispute (original version of August 30 post), as over headcanon interpretations of Kom’rk, in which she feels that myself and others are upset that she does not wish to incorporate our headcanon of a non-cis Kom’rk into her own interpretation and she feels that posts about such headcanons should not be put into the “#Kom’rk Skirata” tag. She also felt that the headcanon was done to make Kom’rk “a punching bag” and felt that the headcanon was more regressive than progressive (archived version of her August 30 regs page).
Previously, her characterization of the dispute, in my understanding, was a difference in interpretation over Etain and Kal. I view Kal as an emotionally abusive father and believe that Etain was subjected to emotional manipulation and coercion; Vik views Kal as a flawed character but not abusive and believes that Etain is an active player in a storyline where she selfishly gets pregnant and manipulates her lover.
Where each of us stand on the differences in character interpretation is somewhat better detailed in a later section “On my vagueblogging”
How did this start?
When Vik came to resent my interpretation of Kal and Etain, I cannot answer. However, I can say that the bad blood between us began on June 4, 2016. Vik and myself were both in a Skype group chat for a while by then. On June 4, 2016, I asked the chat if they had any suggestions for nonwhite actors because I was fancasting Republic Commando. I emphasized that I “aggressively” interpret every human character in the novels as nonwhite. Another member of the chat, whom I will refer to as S—, accused myself and the others of being racist toward white people. This person had a history of trolling in the chat, but despite our efforts to ignore them, the situation escalated. After this person was initially called out for their racist behavior, Vik left the chat.
The Skype logs are located here, from the beginning of the conversation to Vik’s departure.
Though the following situation in the chat did not strictly involve Vik, Vik continued to support and even enable S— long after June 4, and the situation in the chat very much framed how myself and Izzy reacted to Vik. The situation escalated to open aggression after Vik’s departure, and S— became very angry that myself, Izzy, and a third person continued to discuss nonwhite people, particularly Fo Porter, and booted us from the chat saying we needed a timeout. S— readded us to the chat, but Izzy and myself left shortly after.
The Skype logs for that portion, from Vik’s departure to Izzy and my departures, are posted here.
Immediately after, I learned that Vik had blocked me and made a small statement discussed in the next section. In response to S—’s reaction, and to the general silence it was met with from others in the chat (that, or dismissal of it as petty drama), Izzy made a post regarding this incident generally addressing the response from the group, which Izzy (and myself) generally felt to be implicitly supporting the actions of an aggressive racist (S—) through their silence and refusal to cut ties with them.
At some point, Vik added to her Kom’rk guidelines page referencing this schism (nullarc6, webcitation dated to April 2, webcitation dated to August 26). I added a similar section to my own rules page on April 2 (nullclass). Izzy added a similar section to their own rules page as well (tapcaftogo).
On bigotry
She dismissed this dispute, in the name that having such a debate was ruining other people’s fun (merliaseidon-archived, webcitation):‘#sorry guys but i come on tumblr to have fun.#[x0x0:// ooc]’ I generally find it unsavory the recurring implication in fandom that people need to keep their mouth shut and avoid causing so-called drama by calling out racism when they see it, and I find it unsavory here. Many of us are instructed to suffer bigotry aimed at our identities in silence so as to not ruin the fun of others, but our own fun and our own desire to have fun in a space that isn’t bigoted is not allowed to exist.
Twice afterward, she brings up the whiteness of both Karen Traviss, writer of Republic Commando, and George Lucas as a sort of trump card against any criticism, explicitly as a response to headcanons: in April 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation) and in August 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation). This is especially insidious as myself and Izzy, both the ones she has much of the dispute with, are persons of color. This aggressive reiteration that the creators of a piece of media are white as a response to headcanons are difficult to interpret in any way other than a forceful attempt to make fans of color feel unwelcome. Please note, the Skype dispute was over fancasting the humans of Republic Commando as nonwhite.
Generally, Vik gives the impression of one who feels upset or threatened at the idea that people who are nonwhite, queer, or both exist in her space and mocked their desire to feel represented in media she enjoys.
In August 2017, (nullarc6, webcitation), in response to headcanons that Kom’rk was not cis, not straight, and presents in a traditionally hyper-feminine manner, a headcanon held mostly by queer fans, she stated: “It must be a sad world you live in when your only out is to come up with increasingly non-viable HC in order to warp a character to your own wants in the name of ‘representation’.” She also said of people searching to see themselves represented through these headacanons: “What’s worse is that you make these HC’s that literally transforms the character into even less of a person, it’s not representation it is a sad take on a background character that turns them into a hollow shell to appeal to your kinks and fetishization. These choices you’re making aren’t realistic, you’ve literally reduced the character down to their sexuality and gender and nothing else.”
This is a sentiment she’s expressed at least once before, in April 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation), saying that this headcanon was a “over the top gay trans Kom’rk”. This aggressive response to this headcanon is difficult for me to interpret in any way other than she believes queer people have no right to headcanon characters to search for representation of themselves.
She stated this twice more: once in a post in August 30 (webcitation, current version of the post retracts much of this) and again in an August 30 update to her regs page (webcitation, current version retracts much of this). I don’t intend to unpack here the argument that Kom’rk as not cishet is being used as a punching bag (we’ve written about Kom’rk well beyond a relationship with Kal and beyond Kal’s discontent with this identity), as a promiscuous stereotype (none of us have written anything about Kom’rks sexual activity), or inconsistencies in what we interpret Kom’rk gender identity to be (Izzy, myself, and other adoptees of this headcanons have different interpretations). What is important here, for me, is that despite this pseudo-progressive language, it is the latest in a long line of attacking the headcanon on its face and an unwillingness to understand how queer identity works. At any rate, sgtbossman ha already written a good post addressing some of the issues with the recent posts Vik has made.
On Vik’s personal attacks
I might’ve made some unsavory comments about Vik’s ability to interpret material, please see the end of this post “On my vagueblogging”, but at the very least, I kept all comments to the realm of fandom, and I never made personal attacks on the basis of her personal life. Vik, on the other hand, made a personal attack on the basis of my personal life and the personal lives of others. This, I believe, is most damning in this dispute. And, despite Vik’s statement that she’s only ever commented on what crossed her dash (webcitation), these personal attacks based on information that can’t have possibly crossed her dash speak otherwise.
She made comments regarding my hope to work in the film industry in February 2017 (andriktheunsmiling-deactivated,webcitation); I began film school only after the Skype dispute and began my second semester of film school in January 2017. She seems to have made a personal attack on Rev, thesummerstorms, in April 2017 (merliaseidon,webcitation); Rev was student teaching at the time and was hoping to begin teaching full-time. She made a personal attack on the traumas and difficult paternal relationships myself and those associated with me have had in July 2017 (nullarc6,webcitation), saying that our criticism of Kal and“dismantling [of] his general character” comes entirely from“daddy issues”.
In August 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation), she also accused myself and those she has a dispute with of having“alienated, abused, and bullied other people in the fandom that didn’t bend to their will” and of expecting others in the fandom to“to bend to [our] will and follow along like a good little sheep with everything [we] say”. This is a hefty accusation. I’m not at all sure what behavior Vik is characterizing as alienating, abusive, and bullying. Is it our arguing against the claims of reverse racism when creating an entirely nonwhite fancast? Is it our vocal belief that Kal is abusive and manipulative and our vocal belief that Etain is put through intense misogyny in both canon and fandom? Is it that we would rather not form close online relationships with people who fundamentally disagree on these two interpretations that mean greatly to us? Is it that we argued with one of her friends about his statement that “all clone troopers are immune to PTSD” because of our belief that it played into the dehumanizing belief that nonwhite men do not feel pain or stress? She has not clarified, so I do not know.
On trolling
The first post Vik created while roleplaying as Kom’rk was on June 6, 2016 (nullarchived June 2016 archive, webcitation), two days after the events in the Skype logs in the previous section. She continues to maintain a Kom’rk roleplay to this day. Her having a Kom’rk roleplay blog is something I have no issue with, and in any other context, this would be a silly and irrelevant detail. However, Vik created her Kom’rk blog for the purposes to trying to prove at point to myself and others due to the fact that we have differences in interpretation.
She has explicitly stated this in November 2016 (nullarc6, webcitation):‘#Why the fuck do you think this account exists. #Not because I have a particular interest in playing a clone at the time. #but because he doesn't belong to you and as such can be interpreted however I damn well please #and your headcanon is just that headcanon #[Rainbow fuck you between hands.] #L O L O L O L O L. #AHAHAHAHAHAA #Control Room [OOC]’
She also made two statements framing her holding of the null-6 and komrk-skirata URLs acts as its own trump card, once in April 2017 (now at nullarc6, webcitation) and once in August 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation). On April 15, 2017 (same link), she seems to have believed this gave her better leave to spam the“#Kom’rk Skirata” tag, especially in response to variative posting about a headcanon that Kom’rk does not identify as male (variative). Please note that by April 18, 2017, there was only one post in the tag at the time mentioning Kom’rk as trans or non-straight: archive.is,wayback.
Here, I admit, on April 17, I posted two quotes from the novels featuring Kom’rk into the‘#Kom’rk Skirata’ tag in response to her threat to spam the tag: one quote, second quote.
Vik did later attempt to spam the tag from her komrk-skirata blog, on April 18, posting six tags from the novels involving Kom’rk (komrk-skirata, webcitation). The attempt was unsuccessful. To this date, none of those posts from komrk-skirata appear in the tags: link to #Kom’rk Skirata, link to #Komrk Skirata, link to #Null 6.
She later again openly stated that she was indeed writing Kom’rk for the pure purposes of making people angry (August 30 webcitation of her regs).
On hypocrisy
In November 2016 (andriktheunsmiling-deactivated, webcitation), she decried that my experiences affected how I read and viewed Republic Commando and its characters, saying that I was “butthurt about my life experiences”, believing that “people interpreting fictional characters different is an attack on my person”, and putting “gold stars on the ‘world is evil and out to get me’ report for the week”. In February 2017 (andriktheunsmiling-deactivated, webcitation), she criticized me for allegedly not understanding that“people will read or view media in different ways because our perception and understanding of things is tied to life experiences.” In July 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation), she belittled the extremely difficult at best, traumatic at worst paternal relationships of those she is in disagreement with, decrying them because she felt their perception and understanding of Kal is too much tied to life experiences. She accuses me of refusing to allow that she interprets Kal differently because her life experience is different from mine, and yet when I interpret Kal different because my life experience is different from hers, it’s something worthy of ridicule and it’s unfairly clouding my judgment of Kal.
In November 2016 (andriktheunsmiling-deactivated, webcitation), she insists on her right to tag her blog and her headcanons as she pleases, but in July 2017 (nullarc6, webcitation), she mocks others when they see it fit to tag their own headcanons about Kom’rk with“#Kom’rk Skirata”. Note: osik means shit in the constructed language Mando’a, spoken in Republic Commando by many characters including Kal and Kom’rk.
Her general antagonism toward a queer Kom’rk headcanon makes her sudden adoption of a(n inconsistently worded) queer Mereel headcanon feel disingenuous (nullarc6, webcitation, nullarc6 second post, webcitation second post).
On my vagueblogging
Since I’m not above vagueblogging and often I’ve even openly stated that I was vagueblogging, I’ve made about twenty posts in which I’ve vagueblogged at Vik or vagueblogged directly in response to Vik’s vagueblogging. It’s condemnable that I’ve engaged in a long vagueblogged dispute—though Vik herself seems to have no issue with vagueblogging as a concept, to quote her, “You don’t get to pissy about the vague blogging though, we all do it. Sometimes we get salty and make questionable blogging choices, that is why we all have our own blogs.” (webcitation)—however, I tend to believe that the manner in which she and I have conducted ourselves while engaging in that behavior is quite different. Additionally, this record generally illustrates our stances in this dispute.
Most of these posts are truncated and leave out tags that include more comments directed at one another, the quotes are for identification:
November 5, 2016: “I’m not about people spewing misogynistic crap at Etain...” in response to Vik’s November 5, 2016 post: “...[Etain] is a self centered child who took away Darman’s choice. Left him to accept the fall out of her personal decisions...” (nullarc6, archive.is) Vik later apparently made three posts in response to mine: “IT’S MY BLOG AND I’LL TAG HOW I WANT TOO TAG HOW I WANT TO TAAGGGG...” (andrikthesunsmiling-deactivated, webcitation) and “I’m not going to argue about it because arguing with you is like arguing with a brick wall...” (merliaseidon, webcitation) and “Nuh uh. You gotta change ur blog to fit muh opinion...” (merliaseidon, webcitation). Yes, I’m accusing her of sending the anon to herself on the basis of this post on finnessential (webcitation) being apparently referenced two week later on nullarc6 (webcitation). (Update, April 2018: Still convinced she sent these anons to herself, as I now have proof she consistently sends anons to herself. Too lazy right now to upload such.)
January 11, 2016:“Listen, I understand. Kal is a flawed guy, and characters should be flawed...” referencing Vik’s November 13, 2016 post: “Kal Skirata. Has flaws.Things that make him human. Imperfect...” (andriktheunsmiling-deactivated, webcitation)
February 28, 2017:“Male Character: *fucks up 100 times* Fans: “No one is perfect...” reblogged in reference to Vik’s interpretations of Kal and Etain.
March 30, 2017:“Talk about misconceptions about Kom'rk?” posted in response to several posts Vik made to state my own differing interpretation and headcanons of material.
April 17, 2017: posted two quotes—first quote, second quote—into the‘#Kom’rk Skirata’ tag in response to Vik’s April 15, 2017 post:“Keep posting ur osik in the tag. It’s funny.#I still own the URL. B) and I can very easily spam it” (nullarc6, webcitation)
May 19, 2017:“Kal’s tendency to assume the worst of strangers and outsiders” referencing the same as the January 11 post.
June 17, 2017:““Kal wouldn’t give a shit about how his children identify or present!”...” referencing Vik’s April 15, 2017 post: “#Because I'm not your over the top stereotype gay trans Kom'rk and I never will be. #And Kal wouldn't give a shit.”(nullarc6, webcitation)
June 20, 2017:““Kal is flawed! Like characters are supposed to be!”...” referencing the same as the January 11 post.
June 28, 2017: “It’s always funny people think I hate on Kal because he’s a white dude. Like, where did I say that...” in response to Vik’s June 27, 2017 post: “Yes I would- so long as you don’t play him as a horrible monstrous strait white man who single handily ruined the entire galaxy...” (nullarc6, webcitation)
July 6, 2017: “Nobody goes “poor Etain” purely because she’s a female character. Like, that’s absurd...” (please see this reblog where I stated ‘ #Lmao and also the original post was actually a vagueblog at a very specific person #In response to a long-running vagueblogged disagreement about Etain’) in response to Vik’s July 6, 2017 post: “A CHARACTER BEING FEMALE DOES NOT EXCUSE HER SHITTY BEHAVIOR. HER VAG/INA DOES NOT GRANT HER A FREE PASS TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS.” (merliaseidon, webcitation)
July 6, 2017: “Gotta love it when people say “you hate Kal because daddy issues”...” and “Frankly, I feel like if your response to your fave getting harsh criticism is...” in response to Vik’s July 6, 2017 post: “Listen folks, Kal Skirata may not be a saint but he deserves better than you dismantling his general character so you can apply all your daddy troubles to him.” (nullarc6, webcitation)
August 6, 2017: “To say that Etain knowingly got pregnant during the war entirely ignores the whole back half of the quote...” in response to Vik’s August 4, 2017 post: “Oh, For the love of- stop trying to make Etain into a saint by saying she had no choice and Kal controlled everything...” (finnessential, webcitation)
August 14, 2017: “Frankly, the only thing stopping me from making a lengthy comment on…” and “Funny how a character who is assumed cis male in the source material being headcanoned as trans...” in response to Vik’s August 13, 2017 post: “It must be a sad world you live in when your only out is to come up with increasingly non-viable HC in order to warp a character to your own wants” (nullarc6, webcitation)
August 23, 2017: “Anyway, Ordo, once he starts on the dawning realization he isn’t actually straight but bi...” in response to Vik’s August 24, 2017 post: “...Ur hc is hc and it will never be actual canon. xoxoxo...” (nullarc6, webcitation)
August 26, 2017:“If the best argument you have to defend your racism, misogyny, and transphobia...” in response to Vik’s August 24, 2017 post: “I think it’s time to put up the friendly reminder that...” (nullarc6, webcitation)
August 30, 2017: “In narrative development, we talk a lot about how people can tell when you’re being disingenuous...” and “Also, well, what? Are we supposed to handwave past transphobia...” in response to the original version of Vik’s August 30, 2017 post “As of this moment I will not accept anything except the fact that Mereel Skirata is transgender...” (webcitation) and in response to a August 30, 2017 change to her . Vik later updated the post to remove much of its content (nullarc6, webcitation).
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