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pinkandpurple360 · 5 months

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IDK if it’s a hot take but I actually like Asmodeus as a softie (albeit still flawed - he is a demon). Even in original myths he’s more of a trickster and protector than adversary.

That said, he really did just become the Millie to Fizz’s Moxxie and THAT pisses me off! Like he just kinda exists to comfort Fizz, who adopted Moxxie’s personality out of nowhere.

There are some really great Fizzarozzie fanworks I enjoy way more than canon, not because it’s toxic or anything, but because it was loving but also fun. There are good canon moments (I actually thought the breakfast and workshop scenes in Oops were really well-done) but a lot of it isn’t fun anymore (especially everything in the Mammon - Crooked makes me want to die) because we know what’s going to happen with them - bland heteronormative MoxMil Part 2.

Again I don’t think they have to be super toxic or mean or anything, they should just be like, for lack of better comparison … Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets. Love roasting the shit out of people for funsies, but generally aren’t malicious unless you piss them off, and are ride or die for each other. Cuddly but also horny at the same time. Not a literal Disney movie Mary Sue Lore Olympus fanfic.

Oh no no me too! But what I like is the idea that he had to work to get there, he seems like he’s had a lot of therapy himself, including some rage issues, which fit into his lore, that he’s overcome. And a masculine character like him showing vulnerability and overcoming aggression to reach softness instead, but eventually to everyone, not just fizz. Is a good message. Him being protective, but also possessive, is an interesting layer to explore. But they won’t. -_-

Yeah toxic or mean isn’t quite right…but cheeky is. Cheeky and audacious, they need to be fun and yknow, actually queer? Actually a queer friendly pair who create an lgbt and kink safe space. Honestly though? Viv creating what is essentially a queer and kink bar, and having them all be hostile to an m/f vanilla monogamous couple, is so…stereotypy. (I know MnM are both bi but here me out) that’s like how monogamous straight people who’ve never left straight conservative spaces, think that lgbt spaces are like.

Not a sub fem princess and a masc dom daddy -_- be fr. Sorry but making them heteronormative isn’t what was subversive, it was the tenderness in between the lust. That’s just gone now if you’re trying to sell that they’re in reality, barely kinky and that he coddles him. And personally I think making Ozzie solely in charge of managing fizz’s disability is what killed it for me. It’s no longer “fizz and oz are partners” it’s “fizz is so weak that he literally wouldn’t last five minutes alive without Asmodeus”

Also? Fans saying that Fizz can never leave Asmodeus because he can just never let anybody else see his disabled body or ever be able to manage his disabilities without Asmodeus and only Asmodeus? Yeah. That’s. ableism. And codependency. He should be with him because he wants to be, not because he has to be.

Oh my god. They’re literally those two, they even sit up in the same theatre area together. Man people are going to actually kill me for this but I ship them as platonic best friends who work at the same job and are flirty as the job requires but see other people. Idk I feel like it’s more fun, like you said.

Crooked was nice but at the same time, i did the fangirl squeals. But….for whatever reason, I was pretty happy when Blitz burst in and, literally, broke it up. I didn’t even ship blitzfizz yet but that scene awoke something in me then I rewatched Oops and saw the letter and flower that I didn’t see the first time, then went back and saw Blitzs jealous faces and jealous behaviour and——

Pictured—literally me piecing it all together

#helluva boss critical #fizzarozzie

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slothspaghettiwrites · 2 years

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Just thinking some very much self indulgent, self insert type shit right now.

Like being in a long term relationship with Bucky, growing so much, so comfortable with each other. You're lovers and best friends. You know one another like the back of your hand. Mannerisms and styles and inside jokes about codependency on one another become normal banter. Neither of you can imagine a life without the other. You have future plans everything seems like right there within reach

But then one day you wake up next to him and it's not lovers and best friends anymore. You spend weeks wondering if it's work schedule or stress, the reason you've grown a part. The little spat here or there becomes a regular case of misunderstanding and Bucky getting angry when you try to 'therapy speak' to him. He can't fucking stand that quack bullshit. The space in the bed between you feels like a canyon of unsaid things, not all of them at all nice.

And then one day, the world sort of just breaks around you both. It's not super villains, it's not wizards or android, it's just Bucky laying in bed facing away from you. He's snoring a little loud like he always does, his long hair splayed across the pillows and getting dangerously close to being on your side. The tears just start pouring out of you before you can silence them. You want to reach out for him, need him to hug you and call you his, but you don't. You curl in on yourself and force your eyes closed.

This goes on for months, another year goes by and it's your anniversary. The usual traditions feel more like a chore than anything else. Bucky accepts your half assed present and smiles a little at the cheesy card. But there isn't a present for you. He forgot or couldn't be bothered, tells you he was going to get you something but then figured if you wanted it you would have bought it already.

And that really makes you think. If you want something you'll buy it. If you want something you'll get it. If you want flirty, a little nervous, and so so passionate Bucky back, you have to do something about it. You have to communicate.

So you tell him. You get all the words and messed up feelings in your head organized and you sit your man down. No phones, no TV, no music, it's just you and Bucky discussing all these issues that he doesn't see, hasn't seen, and can't comprehend where on this fucking planet you could ever have thought he didn't find you sexy or attractive anymore.

When was the last time you kissed me? You ask him, cool and calm because you have the answer you know.

This morning? Yesterday, this past week, he doesn't know. He is certain it couldn't have been more than a week. But it was nearly three months, at your friend's wedding. You'd both gotten a little drunk and made out in the cab home before Bucky passed out in his suit on top of the covers. He can't remember that nightly clearly, it's mostly a drunk haze of he said she said, but for you it was like a spark of the old days. The giddiness and excitement of being young(ish) and in love.

Bucky looks upset. He looks at you like he knows what's going to come out of your mouth next. It can't be helped anymore. The feeling of being over worked and alone all the time has added up to a rotten pile of confusion that neither of you are sure how to sort through.

You need space. He offers to spend some time with Steve, and you tell him no. It's you who needs to go, have your eat pray love moment or whatever the fuck that book was about anyhow.

You stay with a single friend for a little bit. They encourage you to go out and have fun, flirt with strangers. But each time you just think about flirting with Bucky. How his eye crinkle at the edges when he would smile and how the color would rise in his cheeks at your teasing.

After a little bit longer you go and stay with family. You don't stay with them long, unable to explain the break and unwilling to have more and more tedious conversation. They love Bucky and just wish the two of you would come round more often.

Finally, you blow all your savings and rent a cottage on the coast for two weeks, use up all the vacation days you had been saving in hopes you and Bucky would go somewhere fun this year. The local town is nice, an odd mix of locals and families on vacation, but it's mostly safe.

Except for the aliens who invade.

There is panic, of course there is panic, but your first thought isn't to call Bucky. Now that scares you. Aren't moments like this meant to rekindle those emotions you'd been missing? You do send a quick message to Sam, it is one of the big three after all. While you're trying to stay hidden and keep the stragglers surrounding you calm as well, the sound of guns and small ballistic missiles burst through the air followed by more sci-fi sounds.

And just like the incident is contained. Agents surround the town and keep national and international news at bay. Bucky comes to find you, wrapped in one of those crazy shock blankets. He looks rough, and not just from the fight.

"You alright, doll?"

He hasn't called you that in years it feels like. It makes heat rush to your cheeks and giddiness in your stomach flutter to life. It almost reminds you of how you met.

"Um, yeah, Sargent Barnes, I'm sure you have a job to do."

You don't give Bucky enough credit, you know your words will either spark a moment or burn the final bridge of your relationship. You expect him to stare, as he does and grunt before turning his back on you because that's just what acquaintances do.

His cheeks redden for a moment. "Yeah, I think my job's done here, let the real heroes do the clean up. Do you- if you're up for it- want to get a cup of coffee? Assuming a decent shop is still open."

He repeats the words he said to you that first time, though he's a bit relaxed about running off from Steve and Sam. You hold your hand out to him and he grips your fingers with his metal ones. You give him your name because why not? In for a penny in for a pound and you want to ride out this adrenaline and giddiness for all it's worth while you can before you have to have another hard conversation about relationships.

"Bucky." He smiles and it transforms his whole face. For the first time in months, years maybe, you feel hope.

Me? Sloth? Projecting my emotions onto a fictional character and putting them in situations I control? Never.

#a sloth writes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #self insert #bucky barnes x reader #self indulgence at its finest #self insert fanfic #angst

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recurring-polynya · 3 years

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What’s your opinion on pre-canon Renruki?

I think that they already had a romantic or almost romantic relationship back in the Academy, maybe even back in Rukongai, and the reason it wasn’t explicit is because firstly it would have spoiled the endgame couples, and secondly it’s a shonen, so it’s implied.

I think they fooled around when they were orphans in Inuzuri. They grew up together, they were always together in their “teenage” years (however adolescence works for souls😅), I think it’s not impossible that they had their first experience, if just their first kiss and make out session, with each other. When they joined the Academy, they spent less time together due to their different courses, and I think Rukia’s sad expression when Renji leaves for the mission in the real world depicts that (along with worry for him, and maybe even jealousy for his achievements compared to hers). By then I think they were quite intimate, they fooled around sometimes (with the little time they had) and knew the other’s and their own feelings, but never said anything like “I love you”, or talked seriously about the depth of their relationship. If they were “just friends”, as some antis like to claim, they wouldn’t have been so heartbroken, have so many regrets and felt so guilty during their separation. And why that separation in the first place? It’s not a matter of class difference, because Rukia did talk to people of inferior status, like her Squad mates. What’s actually forbidden to people from different classes is relationships. If Renruki was just a friendship, there would have been no problem, but their bond was beyond that. Rukia wanted Renji to tell her to stay with him, but his feelings of inferiority and belief that Rukia deserved better (maybe even better than him) prevented him to do it. Their separation doesn’t feel like an end to a friendship to me, it feels like a breakup. They avoided each other because it hurt so much, and they couldn’t bear to have any relationship other than a romantic one, which was impossible once she became a Kuchiki.

After the Soul Society arc, they got back together. They were physically too comfortable around each other to be just friends, like when he basically hugged her to encourage her to go back to Soul Society when Orihime is kidnapped (and maybe he was also comforting her), or when, during the fight with the Fullbringers, he casually placed her head resting on his thigh. By then they were secretly dating, in my opinion. In the last arc they were always together, it’s so easy imagining them as a couple.

What do you think? Is my interpretation far fetched? I’d like to hear your theories about their feelings, when they blossomed, when they confessed, if they had something going on during their Academy years…

Thank you if you decide to answer!🤍

Well, as you say, Bleach is a shounen, and also I don’t think Kubo was particularly interested in including romance in the story, so I don’t think there is a correct or incorrect interpretation. It’s left to the reader to imagine what they like. I don’t think “spoiling the endgame” has anything to do with anything.

I don’t think your interpretation is “too far-fetched,” although I don’t happen to agree with it. There’s very little to go on in canon, people can fill in the gaps in whatever way makes them happy/makes sense to them. I have exactly 0 interest in arguing with people on the internet about stuff like this. I enjoy reading fanfiction that has wildly different interpretations from my own, I generally love to hear a variety of ideas, although I generally prefer the format of a narrative over Tumblr posts (funny, since I do seem to write a lot of them).

Anyway, here are a bunch of opinions. This is way, way too long, so I'm gonna throw it under a cut.

That being said, you have some really amatonormative ideas in there that I do take issue with. Friendships absolutely can be as deep and important as romantic relationships. I categorically reject the idea that a romantic bond is stronger than a friendship one or that acts of physical affection necessarily imply a romantic relationship. I actually have no beef at all with people who want to read Rukia and Renji’s story as a very strong friendship. I do think it was still reasonable for Renji to avoid her during their separation, even if his goal wasn’t romance. He wanted to see her live a better life, and didn’t want to drag her down. Yeah, sure, if he just wanted to be a casual workplace friend, he probably could have joined Squad 13 and seen her once in a while. But, especially in the early days, it would have been a bad look for Rukia to continue socializing with people deeply below her station, and I feel in my heart that Byakuya would have forbidden her from seeing Renji if he found out she was hanging out with someone from her Inuzuri days, even if it was just casual. Yeah, there exist people who say Rukia and Renji are "just friends" for the sake of other preferred ships, but also, like, so what? Who cares? That’s a lot better than making Renji out to be a bad person or trashing his character. To be honest, I am generally happy to read a fanfic that had some other Renji or Rukia pairing if it actually contained some solid Renruki best friend content (I have found a few 369 fics that do this, and maybe also in the little bit of RenIchi content I have read, so, uh, good job, my gays. This is sometimes touched on in ByaRen fics, but usually not as much as I want, althought I also tend to hold these to a high bar, because if I have to deal with Byakuya in my fanfics, they should have to deal with the Rukia-Renji friendship 😂)

Anyway, you asked for my interpretation, so here it is . These are all just, like, my opinions, man:

Life in Inuzuri just really, really, really sucks, and Rukia and Renji both have a lot of trauma and emotional hang-ups from that time. I think they forged a deep emotional connection during this time that was probably a little too codependent to actually be healthy. They had no models of healthy families or relationships. I also think they were incredibly close to Fujimaru, Kosaburou, and Mameji, and that even if they wanted to have a romantic relationship, they wouldn’t have, at the risk of ruining the more important bonds of the larger group.

In my fanfic, in their last days in Inuzuri, I do have them fool around for a brief period. It coincides with the deterioration of the bond with their last surviving friend, leading to his death. I did this for trauma reasons, because that’s how writers are.

“Communication” is probably the most important theme in my writing, and a thing I bring up all the time is that young Rukia and Renji had a thousand ways of communicating survival-based things between each other, and 0 ways of communicating how they felt about each other.

I did a post on this recently, but their whole gang was incredibly powerless in Inuzuri. They lived on the fringes of society and stole scraps to survive. I think that their number one duty to one another was to survive. In the anime, Rukia swears that she will never leave Inuzuri, that she will always stay with her friends. I think the reason she does an about-face is not just because their friends are gone, but because she realizes that she will lose Renji next, and the only way to prevent that is for both of them to get stronger. Neither of them actually wants to become a soul reaper. They do it for each other.

I think that Renji would have remained in Inuzuri and tried to make a life as best they could, but Rukia knew this was futile, and where Rukia goes, Renji follows.

I think they purposely maintained distance at the Academy. Just as in Inuzuri, their primary duty to one another is to survive and thrive. They were rejected and mocked for their low origins, and hanging out together would have made this worse. I think it hurt Rukia that Renji made new friends, but on the other hand, they were exactly the sort of people who would help him get a leg up in the Gotei. Rukia’s Academy days were very painful because she saw Renji succeeding, just as she wanted, but leaving her behind in the process. Conversely, Renji got super focused on doing well, with the idea that he could pull Rukia up behind him, except for the part where he never actually told her that.

I feel like I’m in the minority here, but so much fanfic focuses on Rukia and/or Renji being “wrong” in the scene where he tells her to go to the Kuchiki, but I disagree! Everything they have done is in order to get to a better life! It is Renji’s duty to encourage her to leave him behind. He doesn’t want to be an anchor holding her down. Likewise, Rukia knows that if she doesn’t go, she’s just gonna be a burden on him. Their relationship has always been about each of them surviving separately over having happiness together. Up to now, they’ve always managed to find each other again, although this kinda looks like it might be it for them. Do these kids need to go to therapy? Yes! Did they do anything wrong? No!

I think about this a lot, but even if Rukia had turned down the adoption (which… I’m not actually sure she could have), even the offer would have ruined their relationship. Imagine that Renji asks her to stay, and she does. Maybe they even get together at this point. Every rough patch, every time there’s money troubles, this spectre of “Rukia could have been a Kuchiki” is going to hang over them. In fiction, there is often an idea of sacrifice being a one-time romantic gesture, but in my real life experience, this sort of thing hangs around like an unwanted ghost. I can, in fact, envision a scenario where this is exactly how Aizen manages to get his hooks in Renji, by offering Rukia an unseated spot in Squad 5, even though she “isn’t really good enough to deserve it” and “taking care of them.”

I am really fascinated with Rukia’s crush on Kaien/Miyako. Bold proclamation here, but I think there is something developmentally healthy about young people having crushes on the older people in their lives, provided that said older people treat them with respect and dignity and don’t take advantage of it in any way. Crushes are, by their nature of being unreciprocated, a safe way for young folks to imagine the sort of people and relationships they want to have in their lives. I headcanon Rukia as bisexual, and maybe also a little bit genderfluid, and she had these two extremely cool people in her life, whom she maybe wanted to be and maybe wanted to kiss and maybe to have a marriage like that some day. I… like to think that their role in her life healed some of her trauma before their death caused even more.

Fully into headcanons now, but I like to think that Renji had a parallel experience, with, of all people, Ikkaku and Yumichika. Like him, they came from the ass-end of Rukongai, but they stuck together instead of bowing to the social mores of the Seireitei. It is critical to note that they were able to do this through strength. This is literally not a thing that Renji and Rukia could have done, but at the same time, Renji sees this as the kind of relationship he wants to have with a partner. He doesn’t want to look after Rukia and protect her, he wants to fight back-to-back with her and then make out afterwards. He’s still convinced that he needs to go through the proper class channels to see Rukia again, but without their influence, I don’t think he ever would have been able to say “fuck it” and turn on his captain during the Soul Society Arc.

Meeting Ichigo and dealing with his unreasonable need to protect everyone he cares about, personally, was also a huge blow to Rukia and Renji’s “I cannot allow the other person to take any risks for my sake” hang-up. Ichigo has his own traumas, which are entirely different from Renruki’s, but the one thing he had was growing up in a loving family. (Isshin has his problems, but I feel strongly that he always made his kids feel like his love was unconditional). I’m not saying that making friends with a shounen protagonist is a good replacement for therapy, but it does have healing properties.

Entirely off-topic, but I feel like Ichigo is incredibly selfish in the way of Terry Pratchett’s witches: “All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine!

Where were we? Oh, yeah. I honestly think that it is unknowable when in canon Rukia and Renji confessed. I already covered this pretty thoroughly in this post. I hate the idea that they were secretly dating. Renji worked incredibly hard to get his post and I think that both his job and Byakuya’s respect are very important to him. I do not think he would put either of those things at risk like that, nor would Rukia want him to. I tend to prefer a slow-burn approached, and I honestly think they got together during the 17-mo timeskip at the earliest, and more likely post-canon entirely, although I think them confessing in the Royal Realm is the spiciest possible outcome, so that’s what most of my fanfic cleaves to.

#renruki #did tumblr increase number of characters you can have in an ask?#i was honestly surprised when i opened this one and saw how long it was

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astroismypassion · 4 years

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hello! i can’t get over the fact of how kind and genuine you are to everyone who’s been reaching out to you for advice. it’s amazing and i hope you feel appreciated. i was wondering if i could get a chart reading from you? if you have time and feeling up for it. i’ll be super happy. all of the information found on your blog have been super helpful. i was born on august 17th 1998 at 4:30pm in Almaty, Kazakhstan. thank you so, so much. i hope you’re having a wonderful time, wherever you are.

Hello!

Thank you for your message! I think it’s the first one I received like that. I truly appreciate it.

Thank you for buying me this delicious hot beverage. I drank black coffee with rice milk while writing your interpretation. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing! I listened to Tom Odell while writing. ;)

Your dominant planets are: 1. Venus, 2. Jupiter and 3. Sun. Your dominant signs are: 1. Leo, 2. Libra and 3. Scorpio. Your main mode is Fixed. You are Water dominant.

FAMILY, SIBLINGS, EARLY LIFE

You have Aries IC. A bit of your 4th house is already in Taurus. Your parents put a lot of pressure on you growing up. They encouraged you to go out there and establish yourself. They emphasized you the mentality that “life is a fight”. SInce you’re a private person, only your family members and really, really close friends know what you value, desire in life. Your family encouraged you to chase your desires, dreams, goals and be ambitious. You have an inner fighter in you. You have Leo Sun in the 8th house. You might feel like you never really knew your father. Like there is a part of him that is hard to understand. You have a Gemini Moon in the 7th house. Your mother is a bit hot and cold, sometimes she is caring, other times more cold and detached. Neither of your parental figures is really openly affectionate and as expressive. They are both a bit emotionally closed off. They didn’t have an emotional bond with you growing up, but the provided for you physically, through physical needs, such as home, food, shelter. There might have been many conflict and arguments growing up. You have Pluto in the 12th house. You have Sun sextile Moon. At least at some point in your life your parents agreed on the parenting style, how to raise you. They were in sync in this regard. They might have a bit of a similar character, traits and personality. You have Sun conjunct Mercury! Your father emphasized communication, your thinking process and taught you to always have good relations with your family members, siblings. This is also a writer’s placement! You might be good at creative writing or you enjoyed learning languages in elementary and high school years. You might have been a number one in one particular subject, topic. You have Sun trine Saturn. You respect your father for his hard work ethic. And he is like an authority figure to you. You might aspire to be as hard working as he is. If you have any siblings, they are Pisces, Aries and Sagittarius.

PARTNERSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS

You have Leo Venus in the 8th house. You might secretly crave a lot of attention, affection, praise and admiration from your marriage partner, people whom you shared a deep trusted bond. You attract conventionally good looking people, who are mysterious, secretive, hard to read and intelligent. You attract playful, witty people who have great personality and a penetrating mind. Also people who are not afraid of discussing taboo topics, occult, mysticism and trauma. You have Cancer Mars in the 8th house. This represents how you act around your crush, how you approach someone, how you take action. You might be very attentive to their needs and creative a safe and secure environment for them. You might create a family bond with them or deep trust will be shared. You might be more emotionally vulnerable and open with them. But only after they earned your trust. Physical intimacy might be a very emotional experience for you. You could end up crying due to so much emotions were repressed in the past or just out of pure emotional release. You have heavily aspected Venus. You have Gemini Descendant. You are naturally curious about relationships, be it sisterly bond, family, romantic, platonic or business! You are interested in people and their relations. You might like to “sample” people. You like to learn with your partner and always grow and expand. You might enjoy shared learning activities together, like taking a cooking class or got to the museum or gallery. You might have the opportunity to get in touch with many people. You have Gemini and Cancer along with Moon in the 7th house. Beware here with the Moon of becoming too codependent on your relationships. You might need emotional and mental connection with your long term partners. You might like serious and committed relationships, yet you fear them at the same time. You might like relationships where you can both be childlike, giggling with each other, but still be able to share deep talks. Your friends are Capricorn, Taurus and Scorpio. Even Virgo or Gemini could be possible! In your romantic relationships you attract Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer, Gemini, Leo, Aries, Scorpio and Virgo.

CAREER, PROFESSIONAL LIFE, PUBLIC IMAGE

You have rx Pisces Jupiter in the 3rd house. You might have been quite shy and reserved in your elementary and high school years. You could have been dreamy, artistic, very helpful. You have a humanitarian in you. You have a lot of universal love for everyone. And you have rx Taurus Saturn in the 5th house. There might have been a financial issue growing up or you faced certain difficulties in regards to money. You have a hard time relaxing at parties or when at social gatherings, even with your friends. You might have a serious desire to turn your hobby into a career. You might like to research a topic or a subject to the point you start resenting it. You might be more confident in your interests, hobbies and creative self expression with age. You have Virgo North Node in the 9th house. This indicates your life purpose. You might be an excellent teacher, preacher, a life coach or a mentor to others. You might help others how to organise their life. You might travel a lot in your mind and physically. You like froeign culture. You might even live abroad at some point in your life. You could have a desire to constantly travel, even to take short daily trips around areas you don’t know. You might be called to organise your thoughts, ideas, beliefs, views and opinions in this lifetime. But also to create healthy boundaries, steady routine, habits, take care of your health. You might benefit greatly from owning a pet since it could calm down your mental restlessness. You have Libra MC. You often take the role of a caretaker, peacemaker. You might even be a therapist, a counsellor. Or help couples, work in marriage therapy, social work or help resolve family issues. You might be a great advisor as well. People might often tell you that you are a perfect therapist, because of your ability to listen. You will fight for justice, equality, peace and balance or harmony. You might not post much on social media. But if you do, you always check the grammar of your captions, check for grammar mistakes. You put your best look forward and always present yourself in clothing you feel most comfortable in. You have Libra and Scorpio in the 10th house. Like I mentioned, you’re a private person. Not a lot of your coworkers, general public, people from social media actually know much about your personal life or what you’re like behind closed doors. You have Mercury opposite Uranus. You have visionary thoughts and unique ideas. You might have a bit of a foot in the mouth syndrome. You might say something before you really think it through. Or you might not feel the most comfortable in academic settings. You could often feel like the traditional schooling system doesn’t really suit you. You might have an excellent visual memory and visual recall! You might have a photographic memory or think really strongly in images, pictures, concepts. Your brain would do really well in product design, architecture. You might be a visual learner.

ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS

You have two Grand Trines! You have Leo Venus, Pisces Jupiter and Sagittarius Pluto.The other is Cancer Mars, Pisces Jupiter and Sagittarius Pluto. This is royal energy! You might have healing energies. You have Scorpio Chiron in the 11th house. There is a past hurt or some sort of wound in regards to your participation in communities, friendships, groups, clubs, even interests you share with other friends. You might have ended some friendships. Even you could have lost a friend! Or ending a relationship hurt you a lot. But more often you could be a loner type. You might have a desire to join some groups and clubs. But you soon realize they have their own agenda and that you don’t belong there. You might have been outcasted often. You are still in search of finding your community. You have Gemini Ceres in the 6th house. This represents how you wish to be nurtured. You might like to vent and talk to your closed one or people you’re surrounded daily with. You might do small acts of kindness for them or really show your love through actions. You might do an errand for them or help them in your day-to-day life. You have Libra Juno in the 10th house. This indicates your ideal partner, ideal soulmate, be it platonic or romantic. You might like someone who is compromising, well mannered, balanced, peaceful, kind, who is ambitious, hard working, loyal, reliable, responsible. Someone who is a provider, is ambitious, has high goals and puts a lot of effort on their duties and responsibilities. You have Libra Lilith in the 10th house. The “negative” sides of Libra could show in the area of 10th house (that would be career, professional life, social status, social media, public image, relations with authority figures, such as parents, mentors, teachers, educators), you might be indecisive, too nice and never want to pick a side. You could play devil’s advocate. You have Libra Part of Fortune in the 10th house. This means you will experience good luck and good charm when you are dealing with others, help them, restore peace and balance. You will be at your happiest when you are hard working, when you are of service to others and when you resolve issues and problems.

CHART RULER

Your chart ruler is Jupiter. The chart ruler of the 1st house is in the 3rd house. This means your personality and character might express best through your relationship with siblings, neighbours, peers, schoolmates, people from your hometown. Your personality, ego, character, self esteem might develop through 3rd house topics. When you learn a new skill, when you communicate with others, when you write and journal. This also indicates your life purpose along with your Virgo North Node in the 9th house. Here is an additional topic on this life purpose theme by an excellent fellow astrologer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBu9sY2RHJI .

HOUSE RULERS

The ruler of the 1st house is in the 3rd house. You may seem like “the girl (or boy) next door. Life is oriented toward communicating, gathering information and daily interactions. You gossip about the way people look. The ruler of the 2nd house is in the 5th house. You use your money for artistic projects. You are possessive of creative projects. Financial security depends upon your personal creativity. The ruler of the 3rd house is in the 2nd house. You discuss issues of self-worth and self-esteem. Writing is a way to earn a living. Your ability to communicate affects your ability to make money. Siblings affect your self-worth. Gathering information is oriented toward making money. The ruler of the 4th house is in the 8th house. You bring your inner family patterns to your sex life. You feel rooted when you form intense bonds with other people. The ruler of the 5th house is in the 8th house. Creative talents and gifts are hidden. Hobbies revolve around the taboo or occult. The ruler of the 6th house is in the 8th house. The daily work environment must serve your need to form deep relationships. You use your knowledge of diet, nutrition and exercise to help other people transform. You want an intense work environment. The ruler of the 7th house is in the 8th house. You choose an intense partner. You want to be with someone who can handle your emotional baggage. Partners add to your financial debt. The ruler of the 8th house is in the 7th house. You enter sexual relationships in search of a significant partnership. You have an intense approach to relationships. Your capacity for deep emotional interactions with others can make your marriage easy or difficult. The ruler of the 9th house is in the 8th house. You expand your horizons through sexual experiences. You travel to find an intensity of experience. You like to visit cemeteries. Your higher education revolves around research and investigation. Your belief system adjusts to meet your emotional baggage. The ruler of the 10th house is in the 8th house. You bring a professional approach to depth psychology. You find your true vocation by exploring occult subjects. Your career revolves around the need for intensity of experience. Your career involves working with other people’s emotional baggage. Your true vocation involves depth interactions with other people. You achieve recognition as a researcher. You receive awards for your work with people on the fringe of society. The ruler of the 11th house is in the 12h house. Your long term hopes and wishes involve finding a place where you can retreat. Too much group activity makes you want to be alone. Your friends cause you a lot of grief and sorrow. Groups bring out your worst fears. The ruler of the 12th house is in the 12th house. Meditation offers a way to escape from reality. You retreat because you need time alone. Being alone is a way to deal with sorrow. You lose yourself in grief and sadness. You let go into sorrow. You have a profound imagination. You are highly sensitive.

#astrology #natal chart #birth chart #chart reading #chart interpretation #astroismypassion

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dear-wormwoods · 5 years

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re: the discourse

I’m really surprised this topic went off the way it did, and I didn’t really want to get more involved, but here I am. Personally, I haven’t seen anyone actually attempt to villainize Eddie... not one person that I have seen has made Eddie out to be the abuser and Myra out to be the victim, because that is obviously not the case at all. What people, including myself, have been trying to say is that the toxicity went both ways, and the dynamic was unhealthy but not necessarily abusive. Saying it isn’t abusive does not take away from the fact that is isn’t healthy. It’s not healthy!!!

But here’s the thing - neither Eddie nor Myra know any different. Eddie’s entire worldview is a product of a decades-long abusive environment, to the point where he feels the most comfortable in that environment and seeks to recreate it. He recognizes that is exactly what he’s doing, but feels powerless to stop himself. He’s never known anything else (as far as he’s aware in the beginning of the novel), so the idea of being on his own scares him. On Myra’s end, she met someone who told her he was very sick, and she willingly entered into the role of caretaker because she also didn’t know any better. As far as she knew, Eddie was sick and needed someone to take care of him. She probably liked feeling needed because, in her limited experience, she thought that meant she was loved. Likewise, Eddie’s idea of love is caretaking, because that’s all he knows.

So the result is that they are super codependent and manipulate each other, whether they realize it or not, and they also take comfort in the marriage because they both enable each other’s vices. Eddie acknowledges this in that chapter too, by admitting that he relies on pills just like she relies on food. They both just let their addictions continue because they both want to stay in their comfort zones. It’s unhealthy as fuck because people should help each other become better, not act as enablers. But Myra giving Eddie pills he says he needs isn’t abusive, just as Eddie letting Myra binge eat isn’t abusive (although some of the things he thinks about her are Questionable At Best, I take them with a huge grain of salt because comparing Myra to a literal hog is probably more about Stephen King’s fatphobia, not Eddie’s).

Like… yes, Myra does represent Eddie’s abuse cycle, that is very true, but that does not mean she herself is abusive. Rather, her role in Eddie’s character arc is to show how sometimes the cycle of abuse is so long-term and familiar that it actually becomes comfortable, even wanted. This is directly a result of Eddie spending literally 35 years with an abusive parent and never achieving independence. It’s an incredibly sad reality for a lot of people with an abusive past, and it takes a lot of therapy to get out of that cycle for most people. Myra most likely had no idea she was perpetuating the cycle, but that’s not Eddie’s fault either... like I said when I reblogged that first post, everything goes back to Sonia. The person at fault is Sonia. The person haunting Eddie’s thoughts throughout the novel is Sonia.

I think it’s really important to have this kind of conversation, to see the nuance involved and how everything in IT relates back to trauma, without taking such a black and white stance on it. Sometimes people are straight up just bad for each other and it isn’t either person’s fault, it’s just the way it is when both parties have their own sets of baggage and poor mental health. Eddie and Myra should not have been together, point blank, for reasons way beyond the fact that he’s a closeted gay man. Their dynamic was codependent and unhealthy, and they both tried to fool themselves into thinking it was okay (though I think they both knew it wasn’t - Eddie obviously knew, and I think Myra knew something was wrong too because people generally don’t get that clingy and hysterical if they think everything is Great).

Anyway, after reading this fucking book way too many times and putting way too many hours of thought into analyzing Eddie’s life, this is just my two cents that there was no villain in that marriage (besides Sonia’s ghost)... just two deeply sad people who should have seen therapists instead of each other.

#give eddie a good therapist 2k19 #and myra too girl also needs a good therapist #eddie kaspbrak #stephen king's it #myra kaspbrak #it novel #this is like #really late to the party #listen it takes me a really long time to type with one hand #eddie spaghet tea #it meta #meta #my meta

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thatparkinsongirl · 7 years

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WORLDS.

Friends. No one ever told you life was gonna be this way. The apartment complex has seen better days but it’s a roof over your head and that’s more than enough to be grateful about. There’s a pitch-perfect coffee shop on the corner and the people on your hall are actually fantastic.

Disaster. It’s the end of the world. Everything in ruins. You’re running, running, just trying to survive these last days. You sleep fitfully, even then still alert, one hand tangled with theirs and the other gripped around a gun/wand. Or alternately, you’re the crackpot science team that first discovered something was wrong. You’ve all been locked up behind miles of reinforced steel in the CDC? NSA? Area 51? trying to solve this disaster. You were pulled away from your families, not able to save them, not able to take anything. Coffee, coffee, MRE meals. Microscopes, slides, formulas scribbled across white boards trying not to give in to the impending doom.

Inversion. This is not the world you know. Here, Headmaster Riddle pats a young boy on the shoulder and gives some much needed advice. Here, Grindewald and Dumbledore strike fear in the hearts of all the muggleborns. Here, everything and everyone is just a little off center. Your choices define you. (Borrowed from here)

Darkest. Dark magic thrums through your veins, slick and oily. You crave it, live for it. The forbidden section has been your second home ever since the first time you snuck in second year. You are something to be feared. The magic you play with is going to change the world. It’s not about hurting people (sometimes an unfortunate side effect) or taking over the world necessarily (though that is a goal), it’s about this sickly curiosity in magic. How far can you can go? How many lines can you cross? LOOsely off this in which the golden trio go somewhat dark, https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334630/chapters/14514247. Particularly there’s a whole thing in which they bond themselves to each other in a fit of codependency which just yessssss.

Rich as fuck. Money, money, money. Money is the anthem of success. Fast life, shiny diamonds, the best clothes. Speeding too, too fast down the highway, hand out the window. Cops won’t pull you over; they know better. Your lives are a never-ending party. Super Rich kids by Frank Ocean.

Roadtrip bitches. It’s the summer before university. The last hurrah before you all go your separate ways. Long, too deep conversations around a fire while you all smoke. Roadtrip mix blaring through the speakers. Seeing every weird roadside attraction you can. Talking about growing up, childhood, fears, change. About how you could go a year without speaking to someone but they’re still, always gonna be your best friend.

Political. Is it the west wing or house of cards?? Are they corrupt as fuck, bribing and killing and manipulating their way or they earnest and honest as possible, hearts brimming with desire to make the world something worth living in.

PUnk. idk. Hip hop. DJs. Raves. Tattoo artists. Lighters. Smoke rising up into the sky. Motorcycles and a shit ton of leather. Graffiti in the alleyway behind the bar you own.

Therapy. Post-war, and it’s rough. The physical scars are easy enough to ignore. It’s several months before you break down and join the therapy group at St. Mungos. You all swear you’re only there for the free coffee and doughnuts. Phobias, triggers, panic attacks. Recovery. Late night phone calls cause you had the nightmare again.

Olympics. Fencing? Swimming? Hockey? Gymnastics? Ice skating? Or, I mean, alternately, they could be in the Quidditch world cup. Competitors who like mock each other but also hardcore root for each other. It’s a small community and you all have known each other your entire life. It’s been a fight but here you are on the olympic team, favorites for the gold.

Doctors. Late night hours. 12 hr shifts. Narcissism. The ultimate god complex. Shitty coffee. Stress. Lost a patient today, saved a patient tomorrow. Fighting over who gets to be second on the awesome heart surgery. A quickie in the on call room because damn your ass looks fine in those scrubs. Quizzing each other over a quick lunch. Complaining about your attending at the bar on your first night off in ages.

Unspeakables. They died, struck down during the war and none of you could bear to survive without them. The plan is put together in the early hours of the morning, feverish. It’s stupid, selfish; all this to save one life. You all join the Unspeakables because the rumor is they’ve been working on creating new time turners. None of you care who suffers for this as long as you can get them back.

How to Get Away With Murder/I Know What You Did Last Summer. You’re tied together by an awful, terrible secret. None of you can risk turning on each other. You’ve made sure of that. Toxic people. Guilt. There’s a body in the morgue with your names on it. It was an accident truly but the covering it up that was deliberate. Maybe some unknown person knows and is blackmailing you all or maybe, maybe they’re just trying to get away with it.

Spaceeeee. Inspired by the Wolf 359 and the Strange Case of Starship Iris. Science. Space. Discovery. Futuristic. Bonding because you’re trapped together in a tiny space ship. Conspiracy. Suicide missions. Technology betraying you. The fate of the entire human race resting on your shoulders.

Parks&Rec/Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Any job-lawyers, firefighters, coffee-shop. It doesn’t matter because they’ve become a tight-knit family. Work hijinks, skinny love probably, I broke your email after I sent you 20 cat memes in a row. office parties. a hint of danger and risk (ok i admit it i like the firefighter one best). My very first day I was driving around trying to find the staff parking and a car honked, whizzed past me, yelling something crude out the window. It turned out to be my new boss.

Dark Post War. With Voldemort dead, Death Eaters being rounded up left, and peace returned to Wizarding London for the first time in more than a decade, it’s easy to believe that all is well. (The problem is that there is no length that people won’t go to protect their peace once they get it back.) Conscription into the Aurors for eligible wizards is enacted to ensure a strong standing against any lingering Voldemort supporters. A man in a black robe is murdered in the street one night because a young, nervous Auror thought he was a Death Eater. Incredibly harsh sentences handed down for any war crime. When Hogwarts finally reopens its doors over a year after the Battle of Hogwarts, it’s to the complete eradication of the Slytherin house (there are rumors about what happens to the children that the Sorting Hat would’ve sorted into Slytherin) and the addition of core classes. It is not a school but a training ground. Certain shops in both Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade are shut down for “sedition” and “miscreant behavior”, most notably Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. Known war hero, Hermione Granger, is tossed in a Ministry cell for two months for sedition, after she attempts to prevent the arrest of a werewolf. Released war prisoners, people like the Zabini family who did not bear the Dark Mark but who were afflicted with Dark families, and “potential dark wixen” are branded by the Ministry as a warning to the public. All the while, the Ministry reports capturing dangerous Death Eaters, spotting war criminals in Hogsmeade, about danger lurking everywhere. The official statement is that they are trying to right mistakes made after the defeat of Grindewald, if they’d taken a stronger offense then Voldemort never would have happened. What it boils down to though is fear and vengeance and the shifting tide of power.

Darkest Minds. So I’m finally reading this series since the movie’s coming out soon. I’m only 6 chapters in thus far but yes! this plot! would! definitely! want!

Dark Academia. The Secret History!!! Probably, definitely a secret society!! Mystery! The most pretentious assholes you will ever meet. Arguments over classic literature. Speaking latin to each other so no one else knows what they’re saying. Tweed jackets. Fall in New England. Tea. No i don’t own a tv I believe they’re corrupting the youths’ minds. Insomnia. A 40 page treatise on the Odyssey.

Alternate Fifth Year. In a world where the young slytherin fifth years spend the summer of between fourth and fifth year, watching their parents with disgust and trepidation. They are ambitious, devoted to self-preservation and they are smart enough to see that following the Dark Lord is a road to ruin. Lucius Malfoy comes back from Death Eater meetings, shaken, Mr. Nott Senior with a long cut down his face. No, the slytherins have no interest in a life like that. It’s too bad then that they’re not even being taught Defense in school. It’s luck that they hear about the group of students that have started practical magic in secret. Canon divergent fifth year where the slytherins join Dumbledore’s Army. Can start after fifth year too but like that’s where it diverges.

Back Home*. When they say you can’t ever go home again, they mean it, because home isn’t a static location, it’s a word full of extra connotation. It’s tied to a specific time and emotion and feeling. A group of friends return to their small hometown for the first time in eight years for the funeral of a mutual friend. Some of them have vaguely kept in touch but for the most part despite how close they were growing up they’ve all drifted apart. A story about loss, growing up, nostalgia, fear, and friendship. You won’t ever the same kind of friends you had when you were young.

Shadow Children (Margaret Peterson Haddix). Futuristic, dystopian. Every family is allowed ONLY 2 children yet secret 3rd children do exist, living in the shadows and scraps. Some are lucky enough to get a fake identity and freedom. So I read this series when I was like 11 or something and they’ve kind of haunted me ever since. I’d probably wind up disappointed if I ever tried to reread them but whatever. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about the first book lately, in regards to all the school kids protesting gun violence and the people in power just looking away as more children die, and just viscerely reminds of the horror I had reading the end of the first book in which (SPOILER) one of the main characters goes to a protest on the front lawn of the white house esque government building, convinced that if enough them protest, if they demand justice, they can get it. Each and every person at the protest is gunned down. For young me who had largely only read books where everything wound up happy as long as you were brave and honest and full of spirit, this was an enormous shock. Idk how this would work but yes!

CONNECTIONS.

Bodyguard. Mighty, mighty need for this. You’re the ambassador or president or queen or minister’s kid and your parents hire a bodyguard. You resent their protection. Ruining your semblance of a normal life. Judging you. You can’t help slipping their protection. Heart to hearts. Shared truths. Grudging respect and whatever. Ugh and the sexual tension, more alive than a power line. The attack comes out of left field and it’s a mess. (This. So down to play this out as whatever characters in any world)

Death. Straight up angst here. Final battle death scene. One second they’re right there and the next there’s a flash. You hold your hands over the gaping wound, screaming for a healer but you both know it’s over. Tears mixing with blood. Maybe they become a Hogwarts ghost. (Any character, any sort of relationship-married, dating, siblings, best friends, we shouldve dated but now your dying my arms)

Toxic. Do I feel guilty about having a thing for fictional toxic relationships? Yes, yes I do. But does that change anything? no. “Oh, we broke ages ago.” But everyone rolls their eyes when you say it. Because neither of you can stop and everyone knows. A couple of drinks in and you can’t keep your hands off each other. There’s still jealousy and toxicness and protectiveness and posssesiveness. There’s a dent in the wall from the time you threw a lamp at them. And god, if you could just make it work but love just isn’t enough sometimes. I’d tattoo your name on my arm but i wouldn’t marry you(Any characters)

Married in Vegas. You two hate each other’s guts. You’re constantly trying to one up each other in front of the boss. And you both always have a different way of approaching a problem. You steal candy bars out of their desk and they keep getting you locked out of your computer somehow. But your both the best so of course your selected for the Vegas conference work is holding. What happens next?? well?? a lot of alcohol, you know that. Neither of you quite remember but those rings on your fingers might mean something.

Romeo and juliet. Mob vs. cops or Death eaters vs. Order. Forbidden romance. Secret meetings. My uncle killed your father. You have a body count that would make them blush. Maybe you’ll turn states evidence for them. Maybe they’re just using you. (any)

Softsoftsoftsoft. Bakery and coffee shop across from each other. Skinny love. A lot of Troye Sivan and Hayley Kiyoko playing. Longing stares, blushing, awkwardness. All your friends say they are definitely into you but??? Or alternately, you co-own the bakery coffee shop and you’ve been dating since third year and your friends all want to kill you. Because ughhh noone should still be that in love. Some serious codependency and domesticity here. Like if anyone’s seen How I Met Your Mother-Lily and Marshall. (any)

Misunderstandings. Classic trope. Of course, you thought they were dating. They live together, steal food from each others plates, share sweaters, tease each other relentlessly, constantly physically affectionate. Really what were you supposed to think. Cue the miscommunication and needless pining and hilarity. (any)

Bonnie and Clyde. Gringotts robbers? Who knows but you’re criminals and you’re good at it. Three steps ahead of the aurors. Careless laughter, drunk on adrenaline. Drive it like you stole it by the Glitch Mob!! and End Credits by Eden!! (any)

Siblings. I’m sorry that all the others are relationship plots because I really do high key love a good best friends/siblings plot. Real siblings or we grew up together and i would murder someone for you siblings. They know each other better than the backs of their hands. Secrets are for other people. Soft plot-just them taking care of each other after a tragedy. Tough love-you fucked off to Paris because you couldn’t deal with your life and they dragged your ass back because when you were kids they promised not to let you make any irreversible mistakes. protective-just. they keep doing dangerous shit and risking their life and you have to knock some sense into their thick skull. Ridiculous-they are everyone’s worst nightmare, stuck together like glue, always causing trouble. Spitting gum down at people from the astronomy tower. Finding ways to beat the anti-cheating quills. Actually helping your sibling get rid of a body. (any)

Best friends/Squad. You all meet at the bar religiously after work. Got each other’s back still, always, forever. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to lose them. (all; I watched the whole first season of golden girls last night so I’ve got a lotta squad feelings. )

Parent and child. Honestly just this song. Heirloom by Sleeping at last!!!! You’re both trying your best but there’s always going to be this tension, these mistakes on both sides. Regrets, nostalgia, angst, softness, forgiveness. (any, but this song always gives me Draco-Scorpius and Harry-Albus vibes)

Eighth Year Partners. PostWar. After a review of Hogwarts’ records, it’s decided that the school year of 97-98 will have to be repeated for all students. In an effort to bring the students of all houses together to promote healing and unity, a random buddy system is set up. A Ravenclaw sixth year paired with a Gryffindor fifth year. A Hufflepuff and Slytherin second year paired. So on and so forth. Though Headmaster McGonagall believed it was a good opportunity, she was loathe to force any student into something they didn’t want, certainly not after the past few years. Thus her only fast rule for the partnerships was sitting together for two meals a week. Some took full advantage of the system, studying together, attending each other’s quidditch games. Others sat in stony silence during the required time only.

@ginevraxweasleyy @marcusflvnt @occlumensism

#my dears my darling ones i made a thing #by no means a comprhensive list im down to do literally anything in any plot in any world but this a few ideas i guess to jumpstart things #cries a few ideas #lollollol #plots

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scriptshrink · 7 years

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I know this is basically the most cliché question I could ask, but is it possible for two people struggling through different things in their lives (that includes mental illness) to help each other get better by providing support? If so, is there a way to write about it without romanticizing mental illness/addiction/etc? I don't want to write something that could be harmful or unrealistic. Thanks so much!:)

CW: mention of hypothetical suicide attempt

Jellyfish

I’d say it’s for sure possible.Everyone’s bad days don’t line up, so one mentally ill person can providesupport for another. As long as you realize that love is not going to magicallymake their mental illness go away, it’s feasible to stay out of the realm of romanticizingthe illness.

danny

My sister has a history of mentalillness and she’s one of the best supports I have. I also keep in touch withsome people I’ve met in treatment - it can be easier for me to confide insomeone if we’ve both struggled with our mental health. It’s definitelypossible for a friendship to be helpful. HOWEVER. There are some problems thatmy therapist is more suited to deal with, like working through trauma issues orthings I’m uncomfortable discussing with friends or family. And if I relapsedor tried to kill myself, I’d need a level of structure that they couldn’tprovide (like going to a psych ward.) It’s also worth noting that anyrelationship can become detrimental or codependent if healthy boundaries aren’tset and maintained. So the two characters can help each otherrecover, but it’s both unrealistic and unhealthy to expect one person to justfix someone else.

nothowiplanned

My boyfriend and I have differentmental health problems and we are usually able to support each other withoutmaking our own problems worse BUT there are times when, for instance, I go tohim for support and he’s not able to give it because of his mental health andvice versa. I think you need to have a good understanding of your ownlimitations otherwise it might well make things worse

Rebel

I don’t speak for everyone, butsome of my best support comes from friends who are going through similarstruggles. It’s relieving to know I’m not alone and can even discuss differenttechniques (ie breathing techniques to calm down from a panic attack) thatwe’ve learned from therapy. It’s partially why I think group therapy works formost people. On not romanticizing it… Have yourself and the charactersclearly draw the line. Also, have them hang out as normal friends would.

elizafaraday

Me and my spouse both have mentalillnesses, though different ones. It means we can relate to each other and besuper explicit with each other. But we also know our limits. One person cannotcarry another through life. Especially when you add jobs and parenting. We keepan eye on each other and let each other know when they should seek help or ifwe feel their meds aren’t working. My short term memory can be really faultywhen I am down, so hubs will weigh in on how I was feeling a few weeks ago.

quirkytink

My boyfriend and I both have mentalillnesses and it’s tough sometimes, but I don’t know what I’d do without hissupport. Sometimes it’s hard when we’re both going through something, becausethen we’re not able to provide the proper support to each other. Also, when oneof us starts to feel better, if the other is having a really bad day, it canbring the other person down. But we’re able to be completely understanding ofeach other’s problems and help each other through the bad days. But elizafaradayis right: one person cannot carry another through life. They both have to beworking on themselves and seeking professional help or it can become bad forboth people involved.

#Anonymous #asks #consultant #love will heal you #scriptshrink consultants #Jellyfish #danny #Rebel #elizafaraday #quirkytink #nothowiplanned #suicide #this is not psychological or medical advice #this is writing advice #relationships #unhealthy relationships

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fionnapancake666 · 7 years

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'For both of them, it's a relief from loneliness.’

(First! A giant thank you to all the Fannibals who reported from RDC3 :D ) ‘For both of them, it’s a relief from loneliness.’ Hugh said that at RDC3 about Hannibal and Will. Then in the closing ceremony, Bryan mentioned how the Fannibals’ community is curing loneliness (//tears up again…). Hugh also clarified that Will didn’t realise Hannibal is capable of love until Bedelia confirmed it…I now have many feels, Hannigram feels, and I can’t get them out of my head, so apparently I need to type a long a$$ post about it…Below under cut may not make sense because it’s just me keep rambling on about Hannibal and Will’s loneliness and feels and other ship stuff…

…

A cure for loneliness…It’s like the underlying theme of Hannigram… Hannibal and Will are both lonely men who thought they’d stay lonely and alone forever because nobody would truly love, understand nor accept their true self, and they’ve both given up on it long ago. One with an empathy disorder who is treated by everyone like a freak and himself is socially awkward as hell but trying v hard to make himself fit in. One with the weirdest…hobby, world view, sense of humour and perception of beauty, effortlessly fitting in the world wearing a person suit hiding his true self. Then when they’ve found each other they just have no idea how to deal with the mutual obsession of - being seen, being understood and finally accepted, being loved and in love. Taking the moral complication of murders and cannibalism aside, the friendship, or love, between Hannibal and Will is basically a journey of two lonely men not knowing how to deal with *emotions* not being alone anymore finally find a cure for their own loneliness.

So in S1, lonely cannibal Hannibal meets lonely awkward empath mongoose Will. Will, for the first time, opens up (mentally, cough, behave xD) for someone who seems to be able to understand his thoughts right from their first therapy session. Hannibal, for the first time, finds someone who has the ability to see him, but he knows when Will truly sees him, there is no chance Will would understand let alone accept him (HELLO CANNIBALISM). He tries to treat and manipulate Will like every person he has met, like an experiment, for fun. At the same time, Hannibal experiences the possibility for friendship, and he finds himself craving it, craving not to be alone. One thing that sticks with me is his conversation with Franklyn about friendship and loneliness. “I worry about hurting. Being alone comes with a dull ache, doesn’t it?” Hannibal is not used to, and not comfortable being in a position of being vulnerable, being hurt, and his friendship with Will is exposing himself to vulnerability, and he won’t allow it. So by the end of 113, Hannibal decides to cut Will from himself *metaphorically*, while Will is so hurt by Hannibal’s betrayal because he has never trusted, nor opened up to anyone like he has when he’s with Hannibal, and that one fucking person is the serial killer he is obsessed with, plus he frames him for all the murders and stuff. Will retreated to his comfortable zone of being alone and plots his revenge. In S2, now without Will, Hannibal alone in his office looking at Will’s empty chair is basically miserable, and it is almost unbearable for him. The loneliness and ache he feels is even worse than ever, because once a lonely person has experienced not being alone, he gets addicted to the feeling and there is no turning back where only isolation and loneliness await. He breaks Will from prison, and becomes obsessed with the idea of changing Will, transforming him like a butterfly/moth. He tries to change Will, making him see what he is (both Will himself and Hannibal wise). He gives Will the rare gift of letting him know him, see him, he is hopeful that Will can, or they can, be not alone together in the world. “You are as alone as I am, we are both alone without each other. “ Hannibal is so obsessed with the idea that he goes as far as planning a family, creating another life with Will in some other world aka Florence. He sees what’s in Abigail and manipulates her, gets her into a position of where accepting codependency with Hannibal and Will is the only option she has. Codependency means they can’t live without each other, and they don’t want anyone else in their life that is not ‘them’. Hannibal is so engrossed in the idea of wanting company he has changed as much as he has changed Will. He is unaware that Will is lying to him until he smells Freddie Lounds. Will on the other hand, is conflicted as hell, he is furious about Hannibal in general, his betrayal, but Hannibal has already opened the door and Will has nobody else to talk to about his *~dark thoughts~* except Hannibal, the codependency thing is working well. Again, once Will tastes the possibility of not being alone while thinking about murders, analysing dark things, he is addicted, and he truly considers running away with Hannibal, and he wants Hannibal to escape, because Hannibal is his friend. By the end of 213, they both have been transformed, Hannibal has been changed as much as he has changed Will. Experiencing the hurt, Hannibal cannot kill Will, so he literally cut Will out from his life metaphorically AND physically, leaving him a dead Abigail and a scar to remember him, a reminder of their other shared life together in some other world that Will has given away.

Then in S3, Hannibal and Will are again separated, alone in the world. Even with Bedelia, the loneliness gets to Hannibal again and he’s super miserable, and he lost control like he just doesn’t care anymore. He put a human origami heart on display, a valentine written on a broken man, he just hope, want, that Will would come find him again. And Will actually realising he regrets betraying Hannibal (I AM SO TIRED OF YOU TWO), and sails across the ocean just to find Hannibal again, and he retraces Hannibal’s past, trying to truly understand what is Hannibal Lecter. Forgiveness then gets into the way, Will tries to kill Hannibal again (to them it’s just a twist way of expressing frustration and love -_-), while Hannibal tries to eat Will like what he did to Mischa out of his love for them because he then will never be alone again. Adding to the fact that Hugh now say Will doesn’t believe Hannibal can experience love until Bedelia tells him, it makes sense for Will trying to kill Hannibal now because without love, what Hannibal has done all along is just horrid manipulation and murder out of obsessive passion, and there is no definition for what Hannibal Lecter is. Then when it all turns to a mess because thank you Mason, what happened in mid-S3 just proves to Will clearly that there is nothing good that can come from them being together and they are, and the world is, just better with Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham being separated, being alone forever without each other. Will let Hannibal go. Will let Hannibal go - He is sort of giving Hannibal a choice here. Hannibal can go on and escape without him (THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WILL WANTING HANNIBAL ESCAPE after Mizumono), or turns himself him because Will sees Hannibal has a weakness and that is his obsession with WIll and his INABILITY TO HANDLE REJECTION. Will knows Hannibal has a soft spot for him and a deadly obsession with him (Soft spot, obsession, but NOT LOVE, IT TURNS OUT WILL DIDN’T KNOW JFC). Will manipulates Hannibal to turns himself in, while Hannibal gives up himself up for Will because he doesn’t want to let go or be let go and being alone forever anymore. Good job establishing codependency, Hannibal, it works so well …=__=.

Past mid-S3, they are both separated again for 3 years. Will, being alone again, knowing well nobody can understand him the way Hannibal understands him, finds himself a ready made family. Molly loves and sees Will, and Will loves them back dearly, but it’s just not the same level of being understood as being with Hannibal fucking Lecter, and that feeling of loneliness stays with Will. He still secretly follow murder news but tries to hide anything that’s related to his past from Molly. Hannibal is alone in BSHCI, everything is perfect he can still live (alone) in his memory palace but deep down he is being hopeful, hopefully waiting for Will to find him again one day. Then with the Dragon and Jack’s help, Will really comes to see him. He is utterly disappointed that Will finds himself another family that is not him, and he bluntly and brutally tries to make Will see how ridiculous and out of place he is with his new family. Again without knowing Hannibal loves him, Will can only see Hannibal’s ridiculous obsession and possessiveness. Then, then, then, when Will finally adds things up and comes to the conclusion that >> perhaps just perhaps maybe but no way that Hannibal Lecter is in love with him, in love as in L-O-V-E romantic love, he asks Bedelia unsurely, who is basically the only other one as twisted who knows what Hannibal really is, and Bedelia tells him what the fuck you didn’t know?? yes. No wonder Will’s mind goes *error 404 not found* black like the scene goes like oh shit Hannibal can love and he is in love…with me…ALL ALONG. That totally explains the weird shit Hannibal’s been doing to him. It’s not just merely ill-manipulation or possessiveness or creepy obsession, it’s…Love. Everything in the past sort of makes sense to him now. Then fast forward to baiting the Dragon, breaking Hannibal out, killing with him, blah, then when Will becomes Hannibal after killing the Dragon, even though it’s only for a while, he is no longer alone because they have become each other. Will and his tendency for seeing the beauty in violence and extreme acts of cruelty, Hannibal and his tendency to be human and loving. A shared hunt, blood ritual of transformation, in their eyes a consummation of their relationship. No longer alone in the world, they fall together, finally being able to be not alone because they have completed each other, becoming each other, becoming one. It’s their becoming.

The theme of curing each other’s loneliness is also a theme for some other rare pair ships derived from the love of Hannigram (cough the endless fun and smut aside lol). Spacedogs, Tristhad, Lucadam, Basic Chickens, BearDogs, OneChar, OnePath, Strange book club, StrangePath… if you think about it, these ships are all pairs of individuals that make each other less miserable and lonely as they were >> Obsessive and deadly Nigel. Awkward and isolated Adam Raki. Charming but evil accepting Adam Towers. Lonely and weird af Elias. Once been abandoned by everyone he loved Lucas. Prepared to die alone Lee Fallon. Silent but possessive One Eye. Sweet but lonely Prince Char. Wtf are you doing Cal. Funny and cute Grigg. Misunderstood and tragic Kaecilius …It’s like we just want these characters to be happy and make their life a little bit less painful for once because they’re all like Hannibal and WIll, they are all lonely people, and they are all alone without each other (if we don’t ship them together hahaha). Yeah, what I want to say is, so basically the relationship of Hannibal and Will from S1-3 is just like two lonely people finding impossible love in the most impossible place, and they go on and off the unlikely relationship for years (IT’S A COURTSHIP) - experiencing joy of having company, connection, mutual understanding and acceptance, loneliness, the opposite of loneliness, insecurity, longing for each other, longing to form a murder family, manipulation, suspicion, lies, pain, breakup, betrayal, forgiveness, JEALOUSY (Hannibal for WIll’s wife, Will for Bedelia), passion, eventually the two idiots become more and more like each other as codependency makes them inseparable until they are like, ONE…basically the elements of a love story but only more twisted and brutal, way darker, and oh murder and cannibalism are involved.

This is the end of my nonsense. Thank you for reading. (And if you are out there feeling miserable today because rl is shit, just know that no Fannibal is allowed to be miserable alone okay, talk to any of us. :D Hugs.)

#hannigram #meta #rare pair #personal #murder husbands #hannibal #long ass post is long

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