#pathetic gay yearning

[hairmetal666]

Steve has this bar he loves in Chicago. It's a little bit dive-y, a little bit dirty, but it's quiet. A good place for when he needs to clear his head.

Only, tonight, the place is packed. Music pounding from the jukebox, no space at the bar, patrons at the dartboard and pool table. In three years he's never seen it like this.

He has a second to wonder what's going on before he sees exactly who is going on, and for him to catch Steve looking.

"Stevie!" Eddie Munson cries. He leaps from the bar top, the people below scrambling away from the stomp of his big black boots.

He hasn't seen Eddie in years. Can't actually remember the last time. Max and Lucas's wedding? Robin and Nancy's baby shower?

Steve considers booking it out of there, escaping in the crush of the crowd. By the time he has the thought, though, Eddie's already pulling him into a hug.

He's excited to see his friend. He is! Really. He loves Eddie. But that's kind of the problem.

Steve fell in love and Eddie left town.

Well, maybe it wasn't so dramatic as all that. It wasn't until six months after they packed the last box in the back of Eddie's van that Steve could name his feelings for what they were. And by then, Corroded Coffin were building buzz and Eddie had a huge whole life outside of the people he saved the world with.

Over the years, as Eddie's fame grew, he came around less and now they hardly see each other. They still talk from time to time, Steve still buys all the band's records, and Eddie's still close with all the kids, Nancy and Robin too.

Eddie releases him, those big eyes bright, a pure and genuine smile stretching his face. Steve's stomach twists, heart skipping a beat.

"Gotta be honest with you, man. Never expected to see Steve Harrington in a place like this."

Steve snorts. "There's lots of place I go you wouldn't expect."

Eddie's smile wobbles, Steve thinks. It's gone in a blink, though, and Eddie laughs. "I'm sure you do, sweetheart. Have time for a drink with me?"

Eddie navigates to the bar, returns with two beers in hand. He presses his palm to the small of Steve's back, directing him to the single empty table in the corner as far from the jukebox as possible.

"How's life treating you, Stevie?" Eddie asks after a sip. "Nance told me the store is doing really well."

"It's good, yeah. Finally turning a profit. Wasn't sure about Dustin having us add a game section, but he was right. It's really taken off."

"Oh, he told me," Eddie smirks.

Steve rolls his eyes. "I'm sure that he did. He hasn't let me hear the end of it."

"That tone," Eddie says, voice soft.

"What brings you to Chicago?" He asks to hide the way all the fucking love he feels for this man is bleeding out of him.

"Not really supposed to be," he laughs. "Flight got diverted to O'Hare, can't get another one until tomorrow. Have to make it to LA in time to play a show."

They both know Eddie loves it; the rush, the adrenaline, that comes with performing, to making it to shows at the very last minute. It's how they got here in the first place.

"Working on new music?"

Eddie leans back, dimples popping with the pleased lift of his lips. "Oh, Harrington, you don't even know what we have in store." He leans over the table and launches into tales of rehearsals and writing. Steve drinks his beer and can't take his eyes off his friend, Eddie the sun Steve orbits around, helpless to his gravitational pull.

"So, Stevie," Eddie says, once there's no more to tell about music. "You seeing anyone?"

Steve hides his cringe with a chuckle. Picks up his beer to buy time and finds it empty. "Not anyone of note."

"C'mon, how is that possible? You're easily the hottest guy in this place."

He grimaces. "That's a low bar."

"Oooh, still bitchy after all these years." Eddie snickers, takes a swig from his bottle.

"Shut-up."

"Seems like it's been a while since you dated."

"You interrogating my love life now, Munson?"

"No, not at all. Just curious."

"Okay, who are you dating? Still that guy from People?"

"Gossip," Eddie frowns.

"Anyone else you got your eye on?"

"No one new," Eddie says. He stares at Steve hard for a second, like he wants to dig into his brain, like it holds the answer to all life's question.

"There is someone, then." Steve tries to ignore the jealousy licking down his spine. Eddie isn't his and never will be.

Eddie picks at the label on his now empty beer. "Not--not really." He licks his lips, leaning over the table again. "Is there a reason you don't seem to date anymore, man? It's just--you wouldn't hurt for options, right?"

Steve freezes, trying to figure out a way to answer that won't end up breaking his own heart. "Ah, it's--you know, things got busy with opening the store and everything. Stopped being a priority."

"Are you lonely?"

"Are you?" He snaps before he can stop himself. "Sorry, I'm--sorry."

"Yeah, man. I'm lonely as hell." Eddie answers as though Steve didn't give him an out.

"I--you ever have someone where the timing is always wrong?"

"Think it's a hazard of my profession. Who's yours?"

"What?" Steve clunks his bottle too hard against the table.

"The one that got away?"

"It's--it--I--it doesn't matter."

Eddie's smile is all jagged edges. "Nancy?"

"God, no. Nance and I are good with being friends. No lingering feelings there. Who's yours?"

"Ahh," Eddie sits back a little, eyes glittering with an emotion Steve can't place. "The best boy I ever met. Can't get over him, can't forget him. I think they guys are going to start banning my 'pathetic gay yearning songs'. Gareth's words."

Something in Steve's chest crumbles to dust. There's someone. Has always been someone. Of course. Eddie is beautiful and hot and charismatic and fucking famous. And Steve is--just a guy who runs a struggling bookstore with a couple of his best friends.

"That's--I'm sorry it didn't work out." He's trying to stop his voice from breaking, from giving Eddie any hint of what he's feeling, just knows he has to get out. "Listen, man, thanks for the beer. Great to catch up. You should hit up Robin and Nancy the next time you're in town. I gotta get going."

"Wait, Steve--"

"See you around."

He doesn't wait. He pushes through the people, and races out the door, into the crisp Chicago fall air. He squeezes his eyes closed, practices his breathing exercises, tries to relax the clench of his teeth, ease the screaming in his lungs.

Three steps away from the building is as far as he gets before he hears, "Steve, please wait." A hand catches his hip, holding him in place.

"Eddie, I don't--"

"It's you," Eddie says. His face is pale, stricken. "You're the one who got away, Steve."

"What?"

"I've never been able to work up the nerve to confess. I've been trying for years, but. Too afraid of losing you to tell the truth."

"Years?" Steve's brain is trying to wrap around what's happening. That Eddie has feelings for him? That he's the source of the pathetic gay yearning?

"God, since 1986, at least."

Steve doesn't know what to say; what to do. He's been waiting for this moment so long, and his brain goes on pause.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same," Eddie rambles. "Hell, I'd be surprised if you did, but--"

"You're mine too," the words tumble out.

"What?"

"You're the one who got away. For me. You're mine."

"Steve," Eddie breathes. "Is this--are you serious?"

"Pathetic gay yearning and all."

Eddie's laugh is a bright spot in the darkness, relief and happiness mixed with the hope of what's next.

Steve can't help but giggle. "We're so dumb," he says.

Eddie looks at him with a raised eyebrow before bursting into giggles of his own. "So dumb, Steve, oh my god."

"It's been a decade!"

"Fuck," Eddie cackles.

They collapse against each other, chests heaving with their mirth. As they catch their breath, Steve nuzzles against Eddie's neck, relishing the closeness. It's easy for him to change the angle so their lips meet in a kiss frantic with ten years of longing.

"Your place or mine?" Eddie asks once they part.

Steve laughs. "You think I'm that easy, Munson?"

"Oh, Steve," Eddie smirks. "I know it."

"Asshole." Steve presses a kiss to his jaw. "How many songs did you write about me?"

Eddie smiles so hard his dimples pop. "All of them, baby. Every single one."

Steve rests their foreheads together, body fizzing like freshly uncorked champagne, "Take me home, Ed."

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #ficlet #oneshot #angst #friends to lovers #angst with a happy ending #idiots in love #mutual pining #famous eddie munson #rockstar eddie munson #regular guy steve harrington #pathetic gay yearning #fluff #the one that got away #second chances #getting together

[f4gwithf4ngs]

not to sound like a broken record but i am in dire need of kisses right now. daydreaming isn’t enough anymore

#fangedfagyearning #i feel so (unseriously) pathetic about it like. what do you mean the idea of kissing a guy makes me fall to my knees #mlm #gay #mlm yearning #t4t mlm #nblm #gay yearning #mlm thoughts #mlnb #ftm mlm #gay mlm #ftm mlm yearning #t4t yearning

[polyamorouspunk]

pss pss pss pss pathetic men come here

#I love you really sad and pathetic men #mlm #mlm yearning #mlm thoughts #gay mlm

[icedmo]

my dears

#23.5 #23.5 the series #ongsasun #milklove #I just know ongsa studies at the tinn tinnpahob school of pathetic gay yearning and autistic rizz

[gendergraveyard]

I need him. (He’s pathetic)

#/pos #I like pathetic boys and they actually rule #nblm #nblm yearning #gay #toric #nico though about this #mlm #mlm yearning

[boxwinebaddie]

yes it’s 2am, no i can’t sleep — anyways! i was writing a little para thing to cope w/ my insomnia and during it ravenstan is reading jerseykyles palm ( there is so much tender touch and intense eye contact btw ) and at one point stan gasps really loud & kyle is all freaked out like oh god what is it??? is it bad & ravenstan is like n-no, uh! -blushes and looks away- your hand is just really soft

#LIKE SMH #ME EVERYDAY: ALRIGHT PACK IT UP GAY BOYS #un…believable #id tag raven being pathetic #but it would be every ask meme #this is so unserious baby just SAY u want 2 kiss him on the lips #jerseykyle also blushed and was like thank u i…Moisturize #HDKSLSSK #ur honor they are very cute to me #rm!stan growing up and rejecting sharons superstitious stuff #and taking it up as an adult to be close to her when she’s gone #does make me want to kword myself btw don’t worry! #brb crying #anyways will y’all pls act normal #the ravesey yearning phase where they’re not dating #is literally so painful #when i tell u they were abt to kiss like that whole time #i am in the trenches of HELL #MAKEOUT ALREADY DAMN

[nikolaisclownsocks]

I almost started crying in physics class today lmao, because one of the boys in my course has this very deep voice, and overall he is pure gender envy and I just side eye him like "bro plz gimme your looks and voice I need them so bad" 😩😩

#im pathetic #i fucking love boys with deep voices #and boys overall #i love boys #trans ftm #ftm t4t #sillyposting #transmasc #im so fucking gay #mlm #silly little guy #transgender #mlm yearning

[achilleanauthor]

Really managed to appreciate being single for an entire two months and then started thinking about Gary and Marshall again and now. Ugh. Boyfriend when.

#auv is gay #my yearning posts fluctuate in how pathetic they are #this one is very bad

[a-multifandom-mess12]

Lowkey might be in love with you? it’s chill but also I would do anything for you. But like. No pressure bro.

#I’m gay you guys help me #I was staring at her the whole night it was pathetic #gay #wlw yearning #wlw #gay crush #lesbian #thought I was aromantic but idk anymore bro i might’ve been wrong abt that #google search history: am I in love or am I so desperate for friendship that I mistake intrigue with infatuation?? #lowkey bro she doesn’t care about me tho bahahahahah #I’m just yammering on here idek anymore #love songs aren’t exaggerating this shit is PAINFUL #please just like me a little bit even if it’s as a friend😭😭 #she’s also on tumblr :) sooooooo… #I check her liked posts and reposts daily just in case there’s some sign she’s been thinking about me :D I’m totally sane rn

[grelfboy]

i’m really sick right now why can’t i have a sweet beefy bear come here and help me cook some soup and then let me lie on top of him to warm up and melt a little…i feel horrible

#god i feel pathetic #not something i usually feel unironically #and i feel like shit #my immune system hates me #mlm bear #where are you #mlm #gay #lgbtq #lgbt #mlm thoughts #mlm yearning #bear #gay bear #gay mlm #mlm problems

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

oh my fucking god im projecting onto a side character. LIKE PROJECTING ON THE MAIN CHARACTERS OF MY WIPS IS ONE THING. BUT A SIDE CHARACTER???

#asher says stuff #ashers writing rambles #writeblr #original story #original characters #what the heck man #i gave this dude my exact gender and sexuality struggles #my exact view on life #and my pathetic gay yearning #i kinda feel bad for him

[ihaveanaversiontodecisions]

friend: *sends a ss of me being gay* explain yourself

me: im a faggot

friend: understandable have a nice day

#you know who you are #i am a simp #a hopeless queer #and a dyke #gay yearning #is so so silly #im a faggot #and proud #(its actually quite pathetic) #lgbtqia #lesbian #crush

[devilishdelights]

no real gf to snuggle. no fictional gf to snuggle because they don’t have a physical form. an absolutely revolting situation.

#i’m in pain n i wanna b HELD ‼️ #i’ve decided this is going 2 b my pathetic gay yearning blog as well. #like it already was that but i’m putting the official stamp on it

[byronicbi]

Me: I wanna watch a gay movie

Roommate: Here are some suggestions

Me: No. I want period pieces.

Roommate: .... okay here are some very limited titles.

Me: No you don't understand I want a movie with a very specific list of requirements that I know doesn't exist because Hollywood are cowards and we're yet to reach the point of having niche genres be explored through visual mediums because not even books are delivering on it

Me:

Me: i want a gay Crimson Peak

#i want a gay gothic romance i want pretty men being pathetic and tormented by their ghosts #I want men dressed pretty and yearning and wet with either tears or blood #or both. #Ugh #text tag.

[jimothantheclown]

today I was very pathetically and embarrassingly gay. there was a senior assembly today and I sat in the auditorium and dear God. he was so fucking hot. my face did the hot blushy thing. my hands sweated so bad. I nearly fucking cried sitting next to him.

and I did the stupidest fucking thing ever. I told him he is so so hot and so handsome and that I almost cried from how hot he is.

and he fucking smiled.

guess what, fuckers?!

it turns out he is in my class.

and I didn't know he sat exactly one seat away because there is a dude sitting between us and I avoid eye contact like the plague.

HE KNOWS I'M TRANS????

#queer #mlm #gay #HELP ME #I AM THE MOST PATHETIC GAY #gay yearning got hands!!!! #fuck

[ophillya]

if you are gonna make parallels between bad buddy and my school president AT LEAST MAKE THEM RIGHT: PRAN AND TINN ARE THE ONES WHO FELL IN LOVE FIRST dont you think your fetishism of "ohm and gemini taller = top" agenda is lost on me

#its so obvious and its so WRONG #like pran CRIED RIGHT NEXT TO PAT BC HE YEARNED FOR HIM SO MUCH #and tinn is A PATHETIC GAY BOY WHO WANTS TO DATE A DUMB BOY #COME ON. PEOPLE. #my school president