#plug. it in there. the game gives you to not tell ANYONE about the rogue ai in his head. thats so funny! and so fucking tragic!

[rambunctioustoons]

I'm not saying I was going through tftbl brainrot around the time I got back into security breach but... But. 👀 ... Literally named my sona Rhys so. askflakfkak.

#i love tftbl rhys's boyfail energy. never related to a character more! #ah yes. have cool cybernetics. there a port in his head. and a usb containing an ai version of literally the worst person ever. #plug. it in there. the game gives you to not tell ANYONE about the rogue ai in his head. thats so funny! and so fucking tragic! #literally. LITERALLY. SPOILERS BUT #at the end. Jack wants to shove a robotic exoskeleton through Rhys so he can control his body/have a body. fnaf coded #that's so INSANE. i remember being like “wow is this really where they're going after all this build up??” but. that plan is so . #fucking stupid. that checks out! jack could already canonly kinda control/take over rhys. it makes sense he'd want to take it even further. #by something so stupid that wouldve just killed them both. jack is already dead! he knows that. might as well kill rhys too. die puppet boy #ajfkakjfkwkd #anyway. uh. #yeah . ajfkakd #tftbl lives in the very core of my bones. i have so many thoughts #ramblings

[burberrycanary]

Best B! For the WIP game, tell me about "So New A Thing," please. (Capital letters optional. 💜)

Questionable capitals for a questionable story! 💛 This WIP was a plot bunny simply coming to the wrong person in that this story would have been about a series of events and not just characters having a series of feelings. I love how Rogue One leans into the moral ambiguity of the Rebellion and I have a persistent fondness for the depth of worldbuilding that’s accumulated in the Star Wars universe. It’s a fun sandbox to play in.

The idea here was digging into the Rebellion as an internally complicated coalition which at the fringes includes some extremist groups like the ex-Partisan Dreamers and also at the other end moderate groups, who are generally hesitant to take action at all—and the politicians and Realpolitik that attempt to hold the unwieldy mess together enough to fight a war. Though I got a hell of a lot further with a similar idea in another Rogue One WIP, Hard Time Killing Floor Blues. In fact, plugging in the canon background of the ex-Partisan Dreamers would have helped Killing Floor, I think, which was a little unmoored from the Star Wars universe. The two stories have remarkably parallel scenes:

So New A Thing

The briefing is almost over when Draven adds, “Get Erso to help,” and Cassian finally understands why he’s been allowed to stay on Yavin IV this long into the evacuation.

“Sir?” he asks, because he’d know if Jyn had enlisted. 

“You’re responsible for her.” Draven gives a long exhale. “Would an oath really make any difference to someone like Jyn Erso?”

Yes, he thinks immediately. And then, I don’t know. But Draven doesn’t require a response.

“Get her to agree. Take Rook. Deliver the information. Report in for a rendezvous point.”

Cassian nods and turns away.

—

Jyn sits on the far side of the U-wing’s hold, cross-legged on the ground. Her dark hair falls around her face in messy waves. A set of knives range out in a line on an oil-stained cloth with a canteen and a narrow wet stone on the ground in front of her. Her damp fingers fan out along the side of the blade she’s dragging against the stone, from the thin looped-ended handle to the narrow tip.

She looks up and blinks, slowly, in a greeting that carries the warmth of a smile. 

“Hey,” he says, but with a curt, stiff nod. Some of the softness drops off her face and her attention shifts back to sharpening. The knife slides up and back with a delicate rasp.

Bodhi raises a hand in an unfocused wave, still holding a thin piece of eutectic alloy and without looking up from the circuit board he’s soldering.

Cassian steps around the central bench, reaching by habit for a handhold that still hasn’t been replaced, and crouches down in front of her. He needs to see her face and he is not going to ask this standing over her. 

She doesn’t look up, just says, “What?”

“When you were with Saw Gerrera,” he says and the slide of the knife blade against wet stone stops. “Did you ever meet a Kage going by the name Ru Vushan?”

Jyn’s mouth tightens and her shoulders pull back as she looks up. Her eyes shift with small, darting movements as she studies whatever is showing on his face. 

He doesn’t let himself think too hard about what she might see.

Behind him, some tools rattle together and, with a clang, Bodhi slots a piece paneling back into place. 

“Why do you want to know?”

Cassian blinks and stops fighting the reflex to hide his tension behind a looser set of his shoulders and deliberately relaxed hands, settling into the false front with an unsatisfying relief. 

“More and more splinter groups are starting to call themselves Dreamers.”

Jyn flinches and her gaze jumps away.

Cassian imagines touching her arm, how the contact would make her look at him again, and doesn’t. 

“These scattered groups, they have a new symbol to rally around. The empire realizes that, too. The Imperial Security Bureau is targeting anyone they can find with ties to Saw Gerrera. We’ve heard about attacks on Jeosyn that wiped out whole cells.”

“Is that a problem for the Council?” she asks. “Or does that solve a problem?” 

She starts to sharpen the knife with fast, twisting sweeps. 

“We want to warn them, Jyn.” 

She stills, staring down at the knife. He hasn’t heard any noise from Bodhi for a while, which means he’s paying attention. 

“Another introduction?” 

“No,” he says, since it’s true and since that’s not what she’s really asking. “I can get us an introduction. But you’d give them a better reason to trust what they hear. They say the cells on Jeosyn were infiltrated by imperial spies before the attack. The Dreamers who survived, they’re wary and they have good reason to be.”

Bodhi’s footsteps cross the hold to stop near the open hatch, but he doesn’t leave. 

Jyn glances over his shoulder and raises her eyebrows at Bodhi to ask what he thinks. After a long pause, Bodhi offers, quietly, “We could help.”

Jyn’s stare jumps back and catches, not hostile but pulled so far inside herself he can’t read her. Cassian doesn’t let himself look away. 

Raised voices drift in from the hangar from the salvage crew outside. A distant crash is punctuated by laughter and then you karking idiot yelled without any particular malice as the last embedded fragments with any value are stripped out of the crumbling temple.

“All right.” Jyn’s shoulders drop and she leans back. Her head knocks against the ship’s wall with a soft thunk, still watching him through half-closed eyes. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as you and Bodhi are packed.” Standing is a relief. The muscles along his spine near the implants go an eerie sort of numb rather than hurt, but pain as a signal is more useful. 

Jyn nudges the small pack next to her with her elbow and gives an uneven shrug. 

“Bodhi?” she asks, still without breaking eye contact. 

Bodhi raps his knuckles against one of the storage lockers.

“Okay,” Cassian concedes. “As soon as I’ve packed. Wait here. Grab anything else you want to take.”

“Not much left,” Bodhi remarks softly. Cassian claps him on the shoulder in passing as he steps down from the hold.

“There are more knives,” he hears Jyn point out. “A whole crate of them.”

The steady rasp of the wet stone is back.

“Uh, I’m good on knives. Thanks.”

Jyn replies, but Cassian is too far away to catch distinct words, just the sound of her voice.

————————————————————————————

Hard Time Killing Floor Blues

The briefing room is a tall, boxy space that extends up several stories but still feels like a bunker. Mon Mothma stares up at a vast map projected onto the transparent wall at the far end of the room. Streams of information flow and shift over the glass. A point of red light appears near the upper edge and begins to spread out in widening circles.

Jyn wants to ask what will happen to Cassian, if he’s all right, before the door even snicks closed at her back, but makes herself not say anything even as the silence stretches out. 

“Thank you for joining me, Jyn.” Mon Mothma drops her gaze from the shifting map, although some fraction of her focus never leaves the expanding circles of red light. “There is never enough time, so I will be as direct with you as I can. We are planning a mission to Kidir. Your ties to extremist groups and your history of controlled property destruction would be considerable assets.”

Jyn is caught so wrong-footed she has to replay the statement in her head for any meaning to shake out. The claustrophobic sense of an ambush drops into place around her. 

Extremist groups and property destruction.

“Those aren’t usually compliments.”

Mon Mothma smiles without discernible warmth. “The moral quality of a skill depends on how it is used. Despite your record, you’ve avoided causing serious harm. You could continue to do good.” 

Mon Mothma turns to the holoprojector table at the center of the room and the flickering blue image of a city map projects into the space between them.

“Kidir City. The primary target is a Star Destroyer production facility. Our enemies produce one Star Destroyer each week from this facility alone. A local resistance cell has developed a plan to disable the factory. Repairing the damage will cost the Empire dearly in time and resources.”

The image of the city flicks to a human male with shrapnel scars on his face. 

“The cell’s leader has agreed to abide by our policy toward civilian casualties in exchange for the funding required to smuggle in needed materiel. The Alliance will also supply specialists to see that our interests are observed. Multiple members of the cell are former Partisans. Your presence could help to establish trust.”

The image cuts off, leaving Mon Mothma spotlighted within the circle of overhead lights.

“General Draven has selected Captain Andor for this mission. Neither objected to my proposal to ask if you would join as well. I am aware that you are not a formal part of this organization, but I would have you aid us in this.” For the first time, a genuine warmth disturbs the stillness of Mon Mothma’s face. “I read the reports of the tragedy at Jedha. You risked your life for a single child.”

“I didn’t save her.” The initial moments of the blast must have annihilated her along with everyone else.

“That does not negate the act. You would be expected to follow Captain Andor’s orders as a civilian specialist.” But Mon Mothma follows her statement with a careful beat of silence. “You have already performed a great service for this Alliance. You have no obligation to help us now. But I hope you will.” Mon Mothma steps back from the holoprojector and the brilliant circle of lights. Even in the dimmer parts of the room her white robes and pale skin glow. “We do not have much time to prepare. Please inform General Draven or Captain Andor of your decision by 2100 hours.”

The dismissal is unmistakable. The force of Mon Mothma’s focus shifts back to the circles of red spreading across a far corner of the great galactic map. 

It’s only after the door slides closed behind her that Jyn realizes Mon Mothma never mentioned the Death Star plans. Before Jyn can decide whether to try her luck at demanding the answers Mon Mothma didn’t offer, the white protocol droid has already shuffled up to escort her back the main turbolifts. The sheer volume of words the droid uses almost manages to make the action seem like a courtesy. 

Level by level, turbolift descends back down to the bottom of the complex. At the ground floor, the heavy, decaying smell of the surrounding jungle overlaps with the sharp edge of jet fuel that the air scrubbers can’t quite strip out. 

Jyn turns towards the hangar only to stop as a sinking feeling of exposure hits. They’d known just where to find her—she hadn't realized how closely she was being watched. She starts down one of the few other paths through the base she knows, but takes a wrong turn halfway to the infirmary she has no reason to visit just to get lost. 

The hallways alternate between smooth sections of ancient stone and rough cut tunnels that twist haphazardly through the ancient structure, dug out fast and already crumbling inward. When she’s dumped again into a passage that loops back to the central turbolifts, Jyn takes another wrong turn. 

You would be expected to follow orders, Mon Mothma had said. But Jyn keeps returning to that beat of unnecessary silence. 

You are not a formal part of this organization.

So not really expected to follow orders. The lack of trust runs both ways.

And why dangle a dead child from Jedha in front of her if limiting civilian casualties was built into this mission? Or at least the version of the mission that Mon Mothma was told about. 

Not objecting is a very precise degree of agreement. 

The silence about the plans gets louder and louder the farther she wanders aimlessly forward. The minutes streak pass and Jyn can’t find the right sightline for this. 

The Alliance isn’t the rebellion, for all that the Alliance would like everyone to think the two are the same.

All the hive-like complexity of the base keeps looping back in on itself and she always ends up back near the central elevators regardless of the turns she takes until she gives up and starts following the spray-painted directory signs towards the officers’ barracks. 

The room number listed on Cassian’s medical records is mid-way down a long bright hallway of identical doors. Room 11A-4 stares blankly back at her. She feels a line of sick nervous energy spark inside her chest. She wishes she could pretend Cassian hadn’t lied to her from the first day she knew him because that would make so many things easier. But she also wishes that Cassian not taking that shot had been enough to keep her father from dying, so wishing doesn't really count for much.

Jyn hits the buzzer with the side of her closed fist. The door opens quickly, but if Cassian feels the same roiling uncertainty, he keeps it off his face. He steps back to let her into the neat, institutional room. Inset panels near the ceiling cast a diffuse yellow glow that fills the small space. The only sign that the room belongs to anyone is a lockbox barely bigger than the palm of her hand on a shelf by the bed. 

The silence drags out until at last Cassian says, “Mon Mothma told you about the mission to Kidir.” 

Jyn envies the complete neutrality of his statement. “Asking me about the mission wasn’t your idea.”

“No.” Cassian pauses. “I’ve often worked alone.” But he’s watching her so carefully that the intense lack of any definite response becomes its own tell.

“Mon Mothma came to me because she thinks I’ll disobey orders I don’t agree with.”

“Most people think that.” A flicker of humor crosses Cassian’s face. “Or they figure it out pretty fast.”

“A surprise attack big enough to disable a factory could kill a lot of civilians who have nothing to do with this.” Jyn stares at all the pieces like she’s reassembling an engine that’s been handed to her in component parts. “She’s worried Draven will give you orders that she isn’t told about until it's too late.” Jyn doesn’t pull the punch even though she’s sorry to see his tightly controlled flinch. “But you’ve disobeyed orders, too. So why did Draven choose you?”

“I’ve worked with Gor, the cell’s leader, before.”

Like her ties to former Partisans. 

Jyn fits those pieces into the strange engine these ruthless forces are trying to shape but is still left with a gap. The reasons sound plausible. But why would the Alliance take a gamble on a mission like this? 

The exhaustion that Cassian has carried for as long as she’s known him settles over him. 

She waits him out until he finally gives. 

“Draven is a pragmatist.” Cassian tone is colored with a resignation she hadn’t known to listen for before. “This is a test. To see where I stand.” 

They were never going to believe you.

Fury pools, hot and sharp-edged, in her gut and scatters out at Mon Mothma and Draven and Saw and all the leaders of causes who demand sacrifice after sacrifice and then discard the instruments they break. 

Fuck resignation. She wishes she could make Cassian angry. 

She doesn’t have time to figure the angles, to separate the barbed lures from what little genuine good manages to persist in even the most compromised circumstances. The furious part of her wants to go spit in Mon Mothma’s face for trying to maneuver her like a piece picked up and dropped on a board to counter another piece moved with the same ruthless indifference. 

But she and Cassian are the last of Rogue One and she’s going to make that mean something. 

Jyn takes a step closer. “The galaxy could stand for fewer Star Destroyers.” She lets the tug of energy carry her the next step forward. “Disable the factory, make sure as few innocent people as possible get hurt.” Cassian’s attention has been fixed on her since the first deliberate movement towards him. “But we need to be on the same mission.” Only a hand-span of space is left between them when she asks, “Are you with me?”

Jyn feels a certainty that vibrates through her like a rumble of a distant explosion. She knows what he is going to say. 

#thanks for the ask <333 #writing #rogue one #jyn x cassian #wips

[hopelesshawks]

History of Us Part 12- Your Mother's Daughter

Summary: Once upon a time Todoroki and (y/n) were best friends. Now they haven’t spoken in years. When (y/n) is forced to transfer to UA, will she and Shoto reconnect or will their troubled past keep them apart? A childhood friends to enemies to lovers hybrid fic.

If you don’t want to see History of Us content blacklist #hopelesshou

Warning for canon typical violence

Masterlist Kofi

Bakugo’s text apology, believe it or not, was more eloquent than the one he offers in person but you appreciate the gesture and the brief hug he gives you when he realizes you’ve been crying. “It’s fine dumbass, you made it to the finals now just give it your all,” he huffs. Kirishima also pulls you into a hug, much longer than the one Bakugo had given you, and spends the whole time giving you a motivational speech about how incredibly cool and manly you are and how sure he is that you’ll do even better in the finals. You really are lucky to have the friends that you do. Especially since you anticipate the crowd is about to sour towards you.

All too quickly it’s time to return to the stadium where Principle Nezu is waiting on a raised platform with a box filled with slips of paper with bracket placements on them. The energy in the stadium is electric as the crowd anxiously waits to see what the bracket will be. It’s different than with the first years, where everyone’s an unknown. The crowd recognizes most of the names now from news reports and hero rescues. Dyed hair could only hide you for so long. “We will now call up the finalists one at a time to draw lots for the bracket!” Nezu announces. One by one you hear others around you getting called up. Bakugo, Midoriya, Shoto, Kirishima, Yaoyorozu, Denki, Sero, Hitoshi Shinso, Neito Monoma, Tokoyami, Iida, Uraraka, Jiro, Ibara Shiozaki and Itsuka Kendo all get called to roaring cheers and applause. That’s 15 names. The little fucking rodent had left you for last. Probably likes the idea of the dramatic reveal. “And last but not least, our 16th finalist (y/n) (y/l/n)!” Nezu calls and it’s like the air is sucked from the room as the crowd gets quiet and then starts murmuring to themselves. You keep your head held high as you walk to the stage even as you notice some of your classmates staring at you and the members of class b whispering. You take the last remaining lot with your head held high, throwing a wink at a nearby camera to further show them their displeasure won’t deter you.

You feel the stares of your classmates as you walk back down the stage. It’s them you really care about in all honesty. 3A had been nothing but kind to you since your arrival and it would hurt a little for their friendship to sour (you’re definitely not thinking about someone in particular at that statement) but before anyone can say anything Bakugo and Kirishima are standing next to you protectively. Kirishima links his arm through yours. “Come on, let’s head to the stands while we wait for them to start the first match,” Kiri grins at you. You give him a grateful smile and are pleasantly surprised when the rest of class a seems to fall in line behind you. None of them look at you any differently, there’s no shift in the atmosphere or added tension. Even as you can feel the glares of the crowd on your back, your new friends shield you from it until you’re in the safety of the tunnel and heading up to the stands.

“You and (y/n) stopped talking about 10 years ago right?” Midoriya asks Shoto as they walk at the back of the pack of class A students. “Yes,” Shoto confirms. “So that’s about when Black Storm was-“ “Yes.” “So Endeavor made you stop talking to her so you wouldn’t be associated with Black Storm.” “Basically.” “Jesus.” Midoriya places a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. Shoto briefly acknowledges the gesture but says nothing as everyone settles into their seats. Nezu then begins to explain the rules of the last game. It’s essentially a wrestling match, the whole stadium is fair game and you win if you can pin your opponent for five seconds or completely immobilize them. Injuries are fine but take it too far and Eraserhead and Cementoss will shut it down. You nod along as the bracket is projected onto the monitors. Your first round is with the Neito Monoma kid, you don’t know much about him, just that the mere mention of his name has Bakugo growling “You better beat that fucking extra.” “Like I’d get eliminated in the first round,” you scoff back, confidence starting to build again as your classmates continue to support you.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see a guy with a large shock of purple hair and bags for days under his eyes leaning down to wave at you. You hear Denki yelp and nearly fall out of his chair nearby but ignore it. “(Y/l/n) huh?” he asks, a slight smile. “Yea. Problem with that?” you ask. “Not at all. Villain quirks gotta stick together right?” he smirks as he offers his hand. “I’m only half villain quirk but sure,” you smirk but then you freeze, eyes glazing over before you can reach to take his hand. He smirks back at you as your hand moves to shake his without your permission. You find yourself reaching for your phone, it unlocking once it recognizes your face, and then going to your contacts before plugging in a new number. You snap back to awareness a little stunned, looking between the new contact in your phone and the baffling boy with the mind control quirk who’s currently walking away. “If you wanted my number you could’ve just asked like a normal person!” you call after him. Unbeknownst to you, Shoto watches the entire interaction with barely concealed jealousy.

It’s not long before it’s finally time for your first match. The others had briefed you on Monoma’s quirk, warning you about his copying ability. “Can he copy a quirk if he doesn’t know you have it?” you ask curiously. “I don’t know actually. Most people don’t have two quirks you know, although I don’t necessarily see how it would help?” Kirishima offers with a shrug, having already made it through his first round and into the table of 8. “Trust me, I have a game plan,” you assure him. “See you guys on the other side,” you tell him as you walk down to the tunnel to wait for them to announce your entrance. “And on our left, here she comes. Ready to blaze her own trail and show the whole world that she is more than her name, it’s (y/n) (y/l/n)!” Present Mic’s voice booms over the loud speaker as you walk into the stadium properly. The crowd boos and you must admit it stings a little but you aren’t entirely unaccustomed to the negative attention. Your eyes wander over to the section where your friends are. Bakugo gives you a nod as Denki, Sero, Kirishima, Mina, and Jiro scream and cheer for you, their bodies half over the railing. They can’t drown out the rest of the stadium but they’re trying to and that warms your heart. You grin at them before locking eyes back on your opponent, stepping up to the start point they’ve indicated. “START!” Present Mic’s voice booms and immediately you lunge forward, drawing shadows into your palm before pushing them forward to race towards Monoma.

You’re not shocked when Monoma counters with shadows of his own, knocking yours away, but you can’t help but grin when you notice he’s producing shadows from both of his palms instead of just one. “I should’ve recognized you had Daddy’s quirk the minute I saw you during the qualifying rounds,” Monoma needles and you know he’s just trying to get a rise out of you but you can’t help how your temper starts to flare. He may be using your quirk but he’s clumsier with it, the result of picking it up for the first time now versus your years and years of experience. You send forward another burst of shadows making sure to get your left hand caught in the blast so it looks like both are doing the work. As Monoma clumsily sends forward his own to redirect yours you close the distance in, sweeping his legs out from underneath him. He quickly rolls before you can try to pin him down and you just barely manage to dodge the kick he’d aimed at you in retaliation. “You were there weren’t you? The day your father went rogue,” he taunts. You suck in a harsh breath allowing him an opportunity to lash out at you again and you wince a little at the sharp sting it leaves on your cheek where he’d managed to cut you with your own quirk. Your first instinct is to heal it but you hold off. Not yet. It’s not time to reveal your hand yet. “How the fuck do you know that?” you grit out before lashing out at him harder and faster. He extends both palms out, shadows flying forward to counter your own and as his hands retract you can see black crawling up his arms. Good. Your plan is working. “Oh the little daddy daughter field trip was all over the news sweetheart, we all know you were there to watch the carnage. Why do you think no one trusts you?” Monoma taunts. He fires off both palms again but this time instead of dispersing the shadows you raise both your hands, again feigning that both are doing the work, you push back against his, the shadowy energy growing and growing as you’re both slowly pushed backwards by the force of it. You hold strong though even as more and more black veins crawl up your right arm and your forearm begins to burn with the pain. You can hear Monoma grunting in pain on the other side so you kick it up a notch, fighting through your own pain until finally he breaks. He releases with a gasp, hunching forward with the pain. He looks up expecting to see you in a similar state but instead he finds you glowing as you stride towards him, the black veins rapidly fading as the light you radiate chases them back. Once you're in front of him he barely has any time to react before you deck him across the face, knocking him to the ground. You put one foot on his chest to keep him down, increasing the strength of your healing quirk just so that you’ll glow a little more brightly as you lean down to look him directly in the eye. “I may be my father’s daughter,” you start as the monitor counts down five seconds, “but I’m also my mother’s.”

The countdown finishes and an airhorn blares to signal your victory. You turn away from him, leaving him gaping at you like a fish on the ground as you walk back to the tunnel. The booing of the crowd that follows you out is music to your ears.

As far as you’re concerned? They can die mad about it.

A/N: Ngl I made Shinso so smooth in this one I was like alternate route? 💀 But n o lmao this is Shoto’s fic. OH ALSO we got even more about what happened when (y/n) was 8! I love mixing in her lore, I've actually had the very basic idea for her backstory and potentially where I’m going to take this fic after the sports festival arc since when I first started watching the show. The fight with Monoma in particular has been plotted out literally since I watched the final exam arc I think back when I was primarily a Todoroki simp oop so it's been really fun for me to get to write it here considering I never thought it would be a concept that left my head.

Taglist: @sorrythatspussynal @miss-bakugo-writes @pixelwisp @larkspyrr @sokkaandzukosimp @akkaso @sunaispretty @mindofess @todoplusultra @oliviasslut

#hopelesshou #shoto smau #shoto x reader #shoto x fem!reader #shoto x y/n #todoroki smau #todoroki x reader #todoroki x fem!reader #todoroki x y/n #shoto todoroki

[msfcatlover]

Me: *rereads my old Portal fics*

Me: “Y’know, some of these are still pretty good! Maybe I should replay the games, and give writing these another shot...”

My brain, always ready with AUs and my latest hyperfixation: TMA crossover with Jon as Caroline, but he doesn’t lose himself in the upload process.

Me: “I... I don’t know if that would work...”

My brain, refusing to be derailed: His robot name could be “Self-aware Intelligent Machine Simulation.” SIMS for short.

Me: “That’s not a great robot name.”

My brain: No worse than “Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System.”

Me: “.......Fair.”

My brain: Testing is like statements; he doesn’t want to like it, but it’s addictive and eventually he kinda needs it to stay sane. He regularly gets in trouble for trying to make the tests less dangerous for the test subjects, because like... draining the acid out of the acid pit ruins the integrity or something.

My brain: It actually makes no difference, but obviously Jonah is Cave in this crossover. He’s researching immortality, and this is just one of the ways he keeps Jon under control.

Me: “Elias was his first attempt?”

My brain: Yeah, but it was just a brain transplant. Now he’s worried about the integrity of his brain itself, I mean, physically it’s getting pretty old. And it’s not like aging is fun anyway.

Me: “So, I assume Martin’s Chell then.”

My brain: Obviously.

Me: “Obviously. Where does everyone else fit?”

My brain: Daisy and Basira are trying to get the whole company shut down for horrible human rights violations, but are struggling to find evidence. They go undercover as test subjects, only to realize they’re in too deep and have to fight for survival.

My brain: Melanie’s a reporter, supposedly doing a profile on Jonah, but secretly investigating all the disappearances that keep happening amongst the staff. Georgie brought her in on the case when Jon stopped answering all calls.

Me: “Tim and Sasha?”

My brain: Scientists, were on the same team as Jon. Might get kicked down to test subjects for asking too many questions about his “transfer to the AI department.”

Me: “Wait. All of this is pre-fall-of-Aperture. Doesn’t that take a lot of the punch out of making Jon our GLaDOS equivalent?”

My brain: ..............................

My brain: Mid-fall-of-Aperture. Terribly understaffed, running out of money, the “AI department” is literally just Jon on the paperwork, Jonah’s desperately pushing the testing/experiments to figure out the limits of brain-uploading before he loses access to the equipment.

Me: “I don’t think that scans.”

My brain: Sure it does! What’s the testing in the games even for anyways? It’s all cognitive, the portal gun itself only gets used in a handful of different ways.

My brain: Now the testing is specifically there to stress Jon out and test the stability of his personality matrix; no point in uploading yourself if the first major issue you run into corrupts your code or causes a major error. It puts Jon through the wringer, even zapping him with viruses and stuff, to ensure the process works, because Jonah doesn’t have the time or supplies for more than one test subject.

Me: “......huh.”

My brain, getting more excited: Merge the Eye-pocalypse and Prentiss attacks! Some sort of biological agent gets loose in the facility, and Jon hacks the security system to try and stop it. Any hermetically sealed area of the facility gets locked down, and he gasses the rest of the facility to keep the contaminants from spreading.

My brain: But they’re underground and the ventilation system isn’t the best maintained, so he can’t risk letting anyone out for fear they’ll get poisoned too. Just has to wait for the gas to rise up out of the facility on its own.

Me: “OH! So from the perspective of everyone in the testing tracks, this AI has just gone completely rogue and taken over the facility, killing a whole bunch of people and trapping them inside!”

Me: “I bet Jonah’s office is basically a fortress, and he still has security access to cameras and intercom, so he just eggs them on. Because this is an insurance nightmare, he wants to upload himself ASAP, so Jonah tells them there’s a manual override procedure for SIMS, but he can’t do it alone. They need to get through the testing, reach the central control chamber, and help him deactivate SIMS before they’ll be able to leave the facility. But actually, he’s planning to delete Jon entirely and replace him in the mainframe!”

My brain: Like the bastard he is.

Me: “So now, everyone’s in this weird limbo of trying to figure out what to do and who to trust. I mean, obviously in the AI apocalypse you want to trust your fellow humans, and SIMS did just gas the whole facility and trapped them in the testing tracks, but on the other hand ‘Elias’ is a shady bastard and SIMS isn’t always that bad?”

Me: “Like, sure, it can be pushy about testing and you can’t expect a robot to be good at emotions, but sometimes it’ll do something like ask for a verbal check-in because they’ve been down there a while and that can be psychologically hard on most humans? Someone complains about food, and SIMS sounds almost genuine when apologizing for not having anything else that can be safely transported to the testing tracks at this time. Once, Martin found a corner away from the cameras to take a nap in, and he’d swear SIMS was actually panicking over not being able to find Martin when he woke up.”

My brain: Tim and Sasha make snide, tired jokes about Jon giving the damn thing all his social awkwardness, as well as his name and voice (for some god-awful, unknowable reason.) They don’t want to let SIMS endear itself to them, knowing it probably killed Jon.

Me: “No, no, knowing that it killed Jon. They absolutely ask at some point if Jon’s okay and are told that amongst the however-many living staff members that are left, Jonathan Sims is not amongst them. What else are they to assume, other than that Jon’s been gassed by his own creation?”

My brain: Oooh...

Me: “Martin’s the only one who actually feels endeared to SIMS by the time they meet up, partially because he’s the only one who was trapped alone. Tim and Sasha were together, and already have reason to hold a grudge. Daisy, Basira, and Melanie met up early and spend a lot of free time fantasizing about smashing the damn computer when they find it.”

Me: “Martin was alone and he hates it, so he tries talking to SIMS, and is a little surprised when SIMS talks back. They’re not always pleasant conversations, SIMS can be curt and doesn’t have much personal info to share (being a computer and all,) but Martin does start to get a grasp on the situation as it must have at least appeared to SIMS when he pulled the lockdown-tigger. And for a supposedly evil computer, SIMS can be surprisingly helpful and seems almost as upset by the situation as the humans are.”

My brain: And there was that odd moment after Martin convinced SIMS to stop calling him “Mr. Blackwood,” and SIMS seemed almost flustered before very softly responding, “...Martin, then.”

Me: “Awww... please tell me Jon’s not actually dead, I need them to take him with them at the end...”

My brain: Suspended animation. The brain is still a vital part of the machine, but it never ages or degrades thanks to whatever combo of chemicals and cryosleep Jonah used to preserve him. Part of Jonah’s “manual override” involves adding a high-powered hard drive or four to replace the need for an organic brain, making full digitization possible.

Me: “But where’s he stored? He can’t just be strung up in the middle of the machine, that’d be unsustainable and Jonah would never let anyone within a hundred yards of it lest they realize the truth! A cryotank in a fake computer bank? A stasis tube hidden amongst the wiring, which they could discover while clambering about installing the hard drives?”

My brain: A cold room disguised as a locked closet or something, with the upload chair still inside of it? Only Jonah has the passcode, technically, and he was planning to go in while everyone else had their own tasks to do, just shove Jon’s body out and plug himself in, leaving Jon to finally die on the floor just a short distance from his friends while Jonah replaced him in the machine, removed the safeties, and escaped into the internet?

Me: “Oh, and Jon gave them a universal override or something to get them out of a dangerous situation towards the end! It actually leaves half the group feeling pretty low, having the thing they’re trying to destroy just hand them the key to its destruction out of pure, innocent trust.”

Me: “Then while Jonah’s distracted giving out instructions, Martin (useless with computers,) wanders over and opens the door, letting out a gust of cold air with a hiss. Martin coughs on the escaping gasses, and Jonah rushes to say that the cold room is very delicate, and ought not to be tampered with by people who don’t know what they’re doing—“

My brain: —but Martin blinks back the stinging, shock-induced tears, eyes adjusting to the dark of the closet and gasps.

Me: “And Martin’s only ever seen Jon in passing, really, they never properly worked together. But he was a little sweet on him even back then, and he’s heard the stories from Tim and Sasha, and he’s spent the last several weeks getting to know SIMS...”

My brain: ...He quickly calls Tim and Sasha over to confirm, just in case he’s got it wrong somehow. They’re just as shocked that Jon’s in there, with all his notes tucked away behind him revealing what really happened. Jonah tries to talk his way out of it, but is quickly arrested by Basira and Daisy.

Me: “Sasha finishes the notes first and makes her way back out. She’s shaking, overwhelmed with rage and grief and horror, and punches ‘Elias’ so hard he falls to the floor.”

My brain: Jonah starts to say something about assault, but Melanie congratulates Sasha for stopping him and Basira, completely deadpan, adds, “We all saw him make a break for it.”

Me: “Jonah shuts the fuck up.”

My brain: Part of SIMS’ programming was not being allowed to answer to “Jon” anymore. He never outright denies being Jon, just corrects people that he is the Self-aware Intelligent Machine Simulation. Tim finishes the notes, makes it to the cold room door, looks into the nearest camera and shakily asks, “Jon?”

Me: “For the first time, there’s a solid three beat pause before the intercom answers, softly and less robotically than before, ‘...Yes, Tim?’”

My brain: Tim starts crying.

Me: “Of course he does! He’s been grieving Jon for weeks at this point, trying not to let it show just how sad and angry he was that it all ended like this, and now it turns out that not only is Jon alive, he never actually left them at all! All those months thinking Jon ghosted them, left them behind in R&D for greener pastures, and Jon was all-but-dead in a cold room the whole time, and none of them ever knew! The relief, the joy, the guilt, the lingering bitter grief and rage, it’s overwhelming. Who wouldn’t cry?”

My brain: It takes them a few days to figure out the download procedure to return Jon to his body, especially since Jonah can’t be trusted on this front. Tim and Sasha are the techies, and they recruit Melanie and Basira for extra hands. (Martin’s still terrible with machines, and Daisy needs to watch Jonah to make sure he doesn’t escape.)

My brain: Martin, feeling useless, stays by Jon’s side in the cold room.

Me: “When Jon wakes up, Martin’s the first thing he sees.”

My brain: Martin sees him moving, meets his eyes, and gasps, “Jon?” Jon nods and tries to say something, but his throat is dry and his voice won’t work. Martin scrambles to get him a glass of water and steadies Jon’s hands as he drinks it. When he lowers the glass, Martin cautiously asks if Jon’s feeling better.

Me: “Jon just smiles and answers, ‘You said my name.’”

My brain: Martin’s confused. “What else would I call you?”

Me: “Jon shakes his head. ‘I just... don’t think I’ve heard you say it before. Certainly not to me. It’s... nice.’”

My brain: Martin laughs helplessly and says it again. “Jon.” Jon’s smile brightens, and Martin can’t help stepping closer, repeating Jon’s name again. Jon laughs along.

Me: “It’s on instinct that Martin takes the empty glass and sets it to the side, leans over the chair, touches Jon’s shoulder, cups his cheek. He hesitates when they’re nose to nose, breathing the same air, shockingly warm even when Jon’s skin is still cold to the touch. He meets Jon’s eyes and swallows. ‘Is this okay?’”

My brain: Close enough to feel the small, inaudible gasp before Jon whispers, “Please.”

Me: “They only get one short kiss in before the door opens and Tim makes a scandalized noise before loudly declaring this unfair and blatant favoritism. Martin all but jumps away, but Jon just rolls his eyes and thanks Tim for saving him. As the others pile in —Sasha claiming she did all the work, Basira needing to know if Jon’s up for making an official statement, Melanie both needing to pass on a message from Georgie and wanting an exclusive interview for her expose— Martin can already feel himself fading into the background, even as he and Tim help Jon to his feet.”

My brain: At least until Jon lingers, fingers lightly resting against Martin’s arm, and looks up at him with hope in his eyes. “Later?”

Me: “Martin’s not entirely sure what Jon’s asking (Jon isn’t really either,) but he agrees anyway. He doesn’t even hesitate.”

My brain:

Me:

My brain:

Me:

My brain:

Me: “.....WELL FUCK.”

My brain, smug despite it being 4:30am: Told you it was a good idea.

Me: “I hate you so much.”

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fanfic #portal #jonathan sims #jarchavist #jon sims #tma jon #tma fic #portal fic #portal fanfic #my life #mine #my writing #tma: all about jon #tma: martin #tma s1 crew #tma expanded social circle #tma: the asshole in charge

[maggyoutthere]

I can't believe I actually fINISHED THIS HOLY SHIT-

The chapters are more than 4000 words long combined. I literally never wrote something this big damn. As much as this is supposed to be satire of bad creepypastas, this little shit found its way into my heart. I'll treasure it as probably the best thing I've written, like, ever XD

‼Tws for blood and body horror

First part here

Second part here

Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood (Part 3 - Finale)

Synopsis: Local teen faces off against whatever is haunting this game and dies(?)

The game took a while to load again.

I was already making backup plans in my head in the case this didn't work. I could always ask people online if anyone had ever known about this game, even get my brother to help me record some clips of it to post on forums and sites. If that didn't work, maybe try and dump the file on my PC? That could be dangerous; if it was making the console crash and restart, I didn't want to know what it could do to my computer.

I was thrown in the same level. Well that was weird. It was the exact same jungle, or at least it looked like it at first. I could tell it was now supposed to be night time since everything had almost a dark blue filter over it, even Tails, who I was playing as this time. The night filter made the level a bit harder since I couldn't see some things properly, but it was still playable. It looked just like any Sonic game from that time, but I knew something was definitely up with it. I just flew over some badniks and made my way across the level (I missed smashing stuff with Amy's hammer so I just tried to escape that level as quickly as possible)

I entered the same clearing, fearing what would happen to Tails this time. Guy was 8, and I doubted SEGA would let their employees just kill off a kid on screen; but again, as far as I knew this game wasn't even supposed to be here. It could've been some unhappy worker or employee gone rogue making a statement. It wasn't helping to be honest. As I followed the exact same route as Amy, I found Metal Sonic again, still stepping on... something. It was too dark to see what it was. It just made squishy and disgusting noises as he pressed his foot on top of it. For an old game, the audio design was pretty unsettling and well done.

I didn't want to get closer to the guy, so I tried flying over him and getting to a checkpoint or something, anything besides confronting that thing. As soon as I made Tails take off from the ground, Metal came flying at him. I almost shrieked as I tried getting the little guy away from that thing, immediately making him land and sprint out of there as fast as possible. In all that panic, I didn't even notice when he tripped over whatever Metal was stepping on and fell on his face. No matter how many buttons I pressed or how hard I pressed them, Tails wouldn't get up. Metal catched up with him and the screen went black as soon as the two collided.

Those same red eyes were back on screen, staring straight back at me. I was with my face glued to the television from all the anxiety that little chase scene gave me, so I jumped back when the thing looked back at me. It felt like it was looking directly at me.

"I want ears like yours"

There it was again

"I want arms like yours"

"I want a mind to think and a heart to feel like yours"

I wanted to punch the screen; I had no idea what was going on. This was starting to get unsettling. Then, I was back in the main menu, the game's menu. It didn't crash this time, at least that. Tails was gone, like Amy. Now, Sonic was there, facing his metal faker. The two looked like they were about to punch each other in an epic pose. Visually it looked great, but then it hit me. "Battle of Metal and Blood"; did it mean faker versus organic? So the two were going to fight again? Maybe we could still get a happy ending of some sorts.

I didn't even flinch. I pressed continue.

The jungle was gone. I was in some facility  now, playing as the blue hedgehog himself this time. The level layout was much different this time; there were more loops, enemies, spikes and so on. Maybe it was only because I was playing as Sonic this time, so I could just speed my way through the level without having to worry about smashing enemies or flying away from them. I got through the level and ended up reaching an empty room; Metal Sonic was there.

I had never been much of a player myself; I'd rather stand by the sidelines and watch as more experienced people got through all the hard levels. Sure I played a lot when I was a kid but I hadn't carried that with me to adolescence. Now I had to do it myself. Hours of playing Sonic CD as a 12 year old, don't fail me now.

The boss fight music kicked in and a large door slammed shut, covering the way out. It was actually kinda hard landing a hit on the guy; I was supposed to dodge his attacks until he got tired and stopped, then parry on certain parts of the walls and spin dash at Metal Sonic as many times as I could while he was down. The thing was: I was awful at parrying. I sucked at anything that involved aiming, but I was somehow able to pull it off well enough to send the guy to his knees after around 20 minutes of dodging and parrying things.

When I hit him for the last time, it looked like I'd split his face in half or something. There were some pieces of Metal Sonic's shiny blue cover scattered around the arena. He just stood still for a while covering his face. Did I do it? Was he deactivating or something? My fingers were getting sore from holding the control and mashing buttons so hard. He wouldn't move on his own, so I just made Sonic approach him to maybe give the final blown.

As I got closer to him, Metal immediately lashed at Sonic again, trying to hold him down. You could see his face a bit better and… it was kinda red. What was that? Was he changing to another phase or something? The screen went black again.

Staring back at me were no longer those two red beacons; there was only one this time, as Metal Sonic did have half of his face completely torn apart. The uncovered half of his face was a bloodied, pulsating mess of flesh and wires. Coils, staples and stitches kept the mass of muscle and whatever else he had inside of him crudely stuck together. Two different colored eyes were shoved in one eye socket as the whole thing now oozed with blood and oil.

"I need quills like yours"

"I need a body like yours"

Was that… what Amy and Tails…

"I need an organic body like yours

to become the Real Sonic"

What… the fuck… I was too shocked to even move as it cut back to the game. Metal Sonic had successfully tackled Sonic to the ground and had started clawing at his face as if trying to rip it out of his "loathsome copy". As I saw a pool of blood appearing under them, I told myself that was enough and got up to pull the cartridge right out of the console. This was just sickening. As I got closer to the console to pull the memory card out, I realised something that made me start worrying about this in a different way. As I got a good look at my Playstation 2, I realized it wasn't plugged in. It wasn't receiving any power at all. It was only connected to the TV.

How had it been working then?...

I slowly backed away from the console, and when I looked back at the screen, that darned thing was looking back at me. It was looking at me as I was trying to stop it, peeking at the side of the screen as I went to turn off my Playstation. That thing knew I was there. No no no, this couldn't be happening. I started shaking as I realized there was something looking back at me though the screen. Its red eyes pierced into my soul, and I didn't know how to stop it.

"I WANT A SOUL… LIKE YOURS"

I shrieked as I finally pulled the cartridge out of the console, throwing it against the wall to my side in pure fear. The screen immediately went to static and the Playstation opened by itself, the Sonic Gems Collection DVD taunting me. That was NOT just a game. Whatever it was, whoever it was, I was terrified to even pick up the memory card. I put the DVD back in its box and turned off the console. I tried taking deep breaths and getting some sleep; it was late, I'd drank a lot of coffee. Maybe all the coffee I was having had created this fever dream. I begged for that to be the situation. Still, I got no sleep that night. My eyes were focused on the TV right in front of my bed, its bright red ON/OFF button giving me panic attacks each time I thought I saw it moving. If I didn't know better, I'd have believed the thing had been watching me all night.

Would it come for me next?

I ended up passing out around 5AM; I was constantly checking my phone to see the time and messaging my friends. I tried explaining the situation to them but they thought I was either messing with them or that I had somehow dreamed the whole situation. I was dead-sure I hadn’t though. I woke up around 2PM and, according to my brother, I looked like shit. Not even he would believe me when I told him what had happened last night; I couldn’t have dreamed the whole thing up even if I wanted to. There had to be something to prove it was all real… the memory card. If I played the game in front of him, he’d have to believe me. After getting breakfast, I pulled my bro back to my room to show him the game. I hesitantly went to pick up the memory card I had thrown against the wall yesterday, but it was no longer there.

“What are you looking for?”

“The memory card; it was right here! Help me look for it!”

“You mean this one?” he pointed at the Playstation.

The fucking cartridge had plugged itself back on the console. What was that thing, and how was it doing that?! The TV screen lit up with static as me and my bro jumped back; we looked at each other in panic and confusion as no one had even touched the TV. We could feel the electricity flowing through the air, giving us chills and making our hair stand up. My brother grabbed my hand as we saw the darned thing appear in front of the static, its shiny metallic cover still split in half. I froze in fear with my little brother to protect right there; I should’ve done more, I should’ve gotten rid of that cursed thing as soon as I unplugged it from the console last night. That thing placed its hands against his side of the screen, its fingers twitching as the blood made the metal hinges rust and creak. The edges of the screen leaked with blood as if he was trying to break this barrier that separated him from us. It looked at us the same way it looked at me; ready to take what he believed was his.

“I… WANT… SOULS LIKE YOURS… AND I WILL HAVE THEM…"

#sth #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #creepypasta #creepy story #short story #sonic gems collection #sonic: battle of metal and blood #battle of metal and blood #metal sonic #tw blood #tw body horror #yeee and it's done :D #I'll probably draw the mf sometime #i do love myself some scary stuff~ #plz don't forget this is supposed to be a generic creepypasta XD #if you fall for it that's on you

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Construct OC ask game!

Moore OC questions courtesy of @punishing-gray-raven-ocs

1) What do you think of Vanessa, or Commandants that discriminate against Constructs in general? Does anti-Construct discrimination bother you, or are you indifferent to it?

Anna: They make my blood boil. What a way to thank the ones doing most of the fighting 

Blaze: I hate people like that. It’s not our fault we had to resort to this 

Dante: *shrugs* There will always be some people like that, someone always has something bad to say. I don’t care about them, but they had better leave me alone. 

2) You're hearing a fellow Construct, one of your dearest friends, getting attacked by anti-Construct slurs. What do you do?

Anna: Unfortunately, this has happened a few too many times. I can’t do anything about it but get them away from such a person. 

Blaze: There isn’t much to be done. The best thing you can do is break up the argument and move on. 

Dante: Eh? Construct friends? I don’t have any.

3) If you could go back to being human, would you? Why or why not?

Anna: If it’ll help me remember who I was before all of this, yes a thousand times over. 

Blaze: Truthfully, no. I am stronger like this, I won’t fail anyone in this body. But sometimes I do wonder what it feels like to maintain yourself. It must be rewarding. 

Dante: No. Being human means giving up everything that has made me what I am now, it means being weak again. 

4) Your Commandant becomes comatose due to a nearly-fatal episode. How do you react? How do you cope until your Commandant awakens?

Anna: I... I don’t know. I hope it never comes to that 

Blaze: I am a rogue, thus I do not have a commandant. 

Dante: I’m going to take care of them. I’m going to make sure they come back to me. 

5) Your Commandant sacrifices their life for you, and dies in your arms. How do you react?

Anna: I don’t think I would react. I tend to space out and don’t really remember anything when something like that happens. It’s a trauma response I think, someone would have to tell me what happened. 

Blaze: I... I would live. They sacrificed themselves so that I may live, right? 

Dante: I could never live with myself if that happened. What’s so worth dying for in this day and age? 

6) Lee asks for your opinion on his newest creation. How do you respond?

Anna: Heh, he’s a creative kid, knowing him, it’ll always be great 

Blaze: Lee’s little creations have never proven to be anything but useful or entertaining, I think I’d like it. 

Dante: Pfft, Lee hates me. He’d never ask for my opinion on anything. 

7) What do you think of Kamui and/or Camu?

Anna: They’re good kids. Camu is a bit troubled and rough around the edges but he’s really sweet when you get to know him. 

Blaze: Kamui is too loud for me, personally. Nothing against him I just don’t like the noise. Camu on the other hand is... ah, he doesn’t seem to like me that much. Always avoiding me and averting his eyes when we talk. 

Dante: Kamui is so jittery, hehe, he’s funny. Camu is just no fun and seems to hate me like everyone else. Hmmpf. No one is any fun around this dump... except for the commandant, of course. 

8) Chrome asks you for help on a very difficult mission-one that may cost you your life. How do you respond?

Anna: I’m going. No questions asked. This is my job. 

Blaze: I will serve my purpose, so I will go. 

Dante: A life threatening mission? Of course I’d go! You have no idea how boring the people on this floating butt plug are... 

9) Liv runs to you in tears, hoping you'll comfort her. How do you respond?

Anna: *sighs* She’s always overworking herself, always pushing. I hope the kid learns to value herself a bit more. 

Blaze: I don’t know what to do, but I’d try and see if she wants to talk about it. Bottling things up never ends well for anyone (haha Blaze u hypocrite)

Dante: She’s one of the few people who are nice to me so I’m taking her to my room and watching some movies with her. Usually that cheers me up. 

10) Are you Team Lucia or Team Alpha?

Anna: Oh... that dilema. I don’t know Alpha very well so I’m sticking with Lucia

Blaze: Lucia. She’s very kind and she tries her best. 

Dante: Alpha. Lucia is so annoying. Always sucking up to commandant, always by their side and she never fucking leaves. Ugh. What, jealous? Pfft, no, I just think she should stop worshipping the commandant like that. (Dante u hypocrite) 

11) What do you think of the Purifying Force?

Anna: It’s something that has to be done, unfortunately. 

Blaze: They do their jobs well, and it’s a necessary job. 

Dante: Eh? I don’t care about them I barely talk to them. 

#pgr #pgr oc #pgr dante #anna #blaze #punishing gray raven #construct ocs

[bltngames]

Rant: The Nightmare of Steam Input

It’s hardly a surprise these days that something built by Valve Software is maybe not the most solid, well-thought-out decision anyone’s ever had. When it comes to Steam, it can sometimes feel like a cobbled together set of half-finished features. Remember Steam Music, when they were going to implement a way to listen to custom music during gameplay? Remember when they used to sell movies? Or what the “Steam Machines” initiative, when Valve was going to partner with different hardware manufacturers to sell pre-built PCs, likely in a move that was meant to mimic to how Google handles their Android phones?

And then there’s the Steam Controller, built on the back of the “Steam Input” API. Though the controller floundred, Steam Input ended up being far more interesting. The theory: plug any controller in to Steam and it just works. Does the game ask for an Xbox controller, even though you aren't using one? Steam Input will take care of that. Does the game not even support controllers at all? Steam Input can make that work, too. And for games that interface with the Steam Input technology directly, a whole host of new and exciting features get made available, like binding specific actions to a Playstation 4 controller’s touchpad, or a Nintendo controller’s motion control.

On paper, it sounds great. But like a growing number of ideas out of Valve, in practice, it’s been kind of a nightmare.  

The most recent example of this has been the launch of No Man’s Sky BEYOND, billed as one of the biggest content updates that game has ever seen. Previous PC builds of No Man’s Sky relied on basic, functional Xbox controller support. It operated very similar to the original Playstation-4-exclusive console game, but now on an Xbox controller. If you used anything besides an Xbox controller on PC, Steam Input’s base function would kick in, which in my case meant my Playstation Dualshock 4 controller would be seen as (and function identically to) an Xbox controller with zero fuss. It worked flawlessly.

With the release of BEYOND, No Man’s Sky has transitioned into using Steam Input to its fullest extent. No longer does it pretend you’ve got an Xbox controller connected, it now attempts to support the features of your controller directly. In theory, this should mean far better and more robust controller support!

Except that, as of this writing, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work for Playstation controllers, it barely works for Xbox controllers, and it even seems to have mucked up keyboard support for some. Thanks to Steam Input, the game is now more or less unplayable in many different configurations.

In my personal experience, this manifests itself by only some of my Dualshock 4 buttons working, and only working some of the time. The power of Steam Input means developers can insert hooks to completely remap all your controller buttons depending on the context. So, for example, let’s say you’re playing a game like Grand Theft Auto. If that game supports Steam Input, the developer could set it up so you could change your entire button layout depending on whether you were walking around or driving a car. They could even set it up so you could have different buttons depending on whether you were driving a car, motorcycle, boat or airplane.

This is what No Man’s Sky now does, with half a dozen different contextual button layouts for flying your ship, exploring on foot, using certain weapons, organizing inventory, dealing with merchants, and more. While cool in theory, it’s a little overwhelming to actually consider customizing your controls. You must now dig deep and decipher what button you want to change in which context, and that’s assuming everything is working as intended.

In practice, this currently means some controller functionality only works when certain menus are visible. For example, I can only aim with the right stick while the build menu is up. Close that screen and my view instantly freezes. As I said earlier, it’s more or less unplayable.

To a certain degree I forgive the developers of No Man’s Sky (Hello Games) for this. Signs do point to something changing behind the scenes within Steam Input recently. Other, older games have been silently breaking in the last few weeks. The 2012 PC port of Sonic Adventure 2 suddenly asked me to reboot the game after informing me that my controller type had changed, and I had to remap all of my inputs in Gas Guzzlers Extreme after it, too, detected a change in Steam Input’s Xbox controller support (all its buttons had to be rebound to a “new controller” after the “old one” stopped working, despite no hardware change on my end).

It’s possible that a version of No Man’s Sky from a week or two ago worked fine with Steam Input, and now a change on Valve’s end of things has thrown everything into disarray. It's equally likely a patch will fix things up sooner rather than later (maybe even by the time this post goes up).

That excuse does not apply to a game like American Truck Simulator, however. It’s a story similar to No Man’s Sky, except while I expect No Man’s Sky is trying to use Steam Input to approximate the original controller setup (just with more depth to what buttons you remap), American Truck Simulator inexplicably did the opposite of that.

The game launched with Xbox controller support, meaning you could effectively use any controller with the game via Steam Input’s basic functionality. Sometime around the end of 2018 that changed, with SCS Software ditching Xbox support in favor of direct Steam Input support. But it’s how they did this that ended up so baffling.

Instead of updating their controller support to use Steam Input, they seemingly stripped all controller support from the game entirely, busting American Truck Simulator back down to basic keyboard controls. Then, using Steam Input, they created a custom controller configuration that translated to those keyboard keys to controller buttons. In other words, let's say the "F" key on your keyboard handles turning on your headlights. Using Steam Input, SCS Software made it so hitting the controller's X button would activate the F key on the keyboard, thus toggling the headlights. In theory, this is great, because you can use both the keyboard and the controller at the same time without changing any settings.

But it also meant that when I put down American Truck Simulator mid-2017, how the game controlled changed (relatively) overnight. Booting it back up a year later, all my buttons did something completely different through no fault of my own, and it took a lot of detective work to figure out why. I had to spend more than an hour untangling this new mess and putting everything back the way I originally had it. By the time I was done, I was too fed up to actually play American Truck Simulator.

Next, let’s talk about the exciting new features afforded by Steam Input. Though fully-featured official drivers for Playstation and Nintendo controllers are hard to come by on the PC, Steam Input enables features like the Dualshock 4’s gyroscope, allowing developers to make games with motion control in ways that would have been impossible. A whole new era of innovative uses of tilting your controller could begin!

Has anyone done anything like that? Nope, not really. Unless you count VR, but that's mostly with VR-specific controllers.

Instead, we get developers going rogue, implementing gyroscope functionality where none existed. Take Ubisoft’s Grow Home. Developed as a tech demo for a procedural climbing system, Ubisoft spun Grow Home off into a sort of big-budget indie game. You play as a charming red robot named B.U.D. as he ascends his way up a gigantic alien tree. At the very top of the tree sits his spaceship, and his central computer, M.O.M.

Grow Home uses Steam Input and plugs in to the Dualshock 4’s gyroscope, nauseatingly giving you the ability to control the game’s camera by tilting your controller. It doesn’t tell you this, you just start the game with B.U.D. staring at the floor, gently twitching from your slightest movement. What makes this crazy is the fact that if you were to play Grow Home on an actual Playstation 4 console, this gyroscope camera feature is not present. Same controller, same game, but for some reason Ubisoft secretly gave the PC version gyroscope features thanks to Steam Input.

The exact same thing happened with Croteam’s The Talos Principle. Here’s a first-person puzzle game about redirecting laser beams to unlock doors, available on just about every platform that will take it. On a Playstation 4 console, it controls like any other standard first-person shooter -- left stick moves, right stick aims. Connect your Playstation 4 Dualshock to your PC and play The Talos Principle on Steam, and suddenly you have all-new gyroscope aiming for no logical reason, necessitating a dive into the game’s settings so it can be turned off.

This could perhaps be explained by the environment Valve has cultivated on Steam. On a console, there’s a laborious, and sometimes even expensive “certification” process games must go through to release. Additional rounds of certification is required to issue updates and patches. Usually, platform holders require games to meet certain standards of functionality as to avoid driving away potential customers and spoiling the marketplace for everyone else.

On Steam, that all gets thrown out the window. For a small, one-time submission fee, anyone can publish (almost) anything on Steam and update it instantly, for free, forever. Any whim you have can be instantly realized for zero cost other than the time it takes to implement. New gyroscope controls? Sure, why not! Who’s going to tell you no? Definitely not Valve, that’s for sure.

This lead to the worst of all worlds. I suffer from occasional flare-ups of carpal tunnel syndrome thanks to art-related pursuits. One night a few months ago I found myself with enough discomfort in my hand that I tried playing Valve’s own Left 4 Dead 2 with a controller. Besides launching on PC, Left 4 Dead 2 had console ports on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. As such, the PC version originally received standard Xbox controller support. And more than once, I’d fallen back on playing L4D2 with a controller for any number of reasons. It wasn’t as accurate as using a keyboard and mouse, but in a pinch it was convenient, functional and comfortable.

Booting up Left 4 Dead 2 in 2019 and grabbing my controller, just like with American Truck Simulator, I was met with a top-to-bottom control system rewrite made to accommodate Valve ditching Xbox support and replacing it with Steam Input. This meant that none of my buttons were the same anymore.

And, just like with Grow Home and The Talos Principle, suddenly Left 4 Dead 2 also had completely unnecessary (and frankly, hyper-sensitive) gyroscope aiming bolted on over the top, even though I didn’t need or want it. It was like I stepped on to an alien planet.

Worse yet, this new Steam Input configuration was actually a step back from the previous Xbox controller config.

Left 4 Dead 2 was old enough that it was an early game to feature emotes on a radial wheel chosen using the analog stick. This made it easy to communicate with teammates even if you didn’t have a headset for voice chat. To some degree, it was made specifically for a controller. In Valve’s new, official Steam Input controller config for L4D2, the option to show these chat shortcuts was removed entirely. So not only were all my buttons different, but some old functionality was now gone. Why? Why not, said Valve. After all, nobody is going to stop them.

To butcher a quote from Jurassic Park’s Ian Malcolm, just because you could, doesn’t mean you should.

The solution to this is the same solution Valve has for everything they do nowadays. Steam Input is not a closed system. You can, if you so choose, connect to an online database where users share their own custom controller configurations. In Valve's eyes, the “Free Market” solves all problems, even problems Valve makes for themselves.

Assuming your needs match the free market, anyway. You may spend just as long browsing and testing other people’s Steam Input configs as it would take you to dig into the settings and fix it yourself. Either way, it’s an unwanted distraction.

The greatest benefit of Microsoft standardizing PC game controllers via the Xbox 360 was that you simply plugged in the controller and it worked. No mapping buttons, no detecting analog stick ranges, no fiddling with any of the options menus. The game in question simply said, “I know what this is!” and you were ready to go. The only problem with that was it only applied to Xbox controllers, a problem Steam originally solved. Thanks to Steam, every controller was functionally an Xbox controller!

But as is increasingly the case, Valve’s aspirations to be more than simply a library of PC games outstripped their ability to control the quality of the input or output. They fixed a very important problem, but were so determined to prove their own intelligence that we've landed right back where we started: forever tinkering with options menus when we could just be playing video games like we wanted.

#steam #valve #no man's sky #the talos principal #hello games #croteam #writing #long #left 4 dead #xbox #controller #switch #nintendo #gamepad #playstation #dualshock #feature

[dine-on-nervine]

Describe the last (or current) object you sat on. I’m in my pleather desk chair.

What was your favourite toy when you were a kid? I don’t recall having a favorite.

What weird thing do you eat that most people dislike? Grapefruit and mushrooms comes to mind. I have no idea why so many people say they don’t like them.

Would you change your name if you got married? Probably not, but I’m not totally adverse because I hate my middle and last names.

Were you in any clubs in high school? Which ones? French and Science.

What time do you generally wake up? My eyes open around 7 due to the sunshine, but I usually actually start coming to life about 8:20am.

Do you share a bathroom with anyone? The one roomie. I am not a fan of this for various reasons.

Are there any songs you know every single lyric to? Yes.

How many amusement parks have you visited? Not sure I’ve ever been to one. Closest one I can think of was Bedrock USA in Arizona over a decade ago, and even then I didn’t pay to get into the park... the gift shop and a Bronto Burger at the cafe in it were quite close enough.

Who is your favourite character from the show Friends? Never watched it. So... Smelly Cat.

Do you have any leftovers in your fridge right now? I have three portions of mashed potatoes and one portion of barbecued chicken in my freezer, which will get me a ways into next week’s lunches at work.

What was the last job interview you attended? Late March of last year, for the job I have now.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Nope, through once or twice felt frantic like that was going to happen.

Where do you keep most of your clothes? In the dresser.

What’s your favourite kind of frosting? Any kind of chocolate frosting is good with me. << Also a fan of cream cheese frosting on spicecake or carrotcake.

Who is the most annoying celebrity in your opinion? Every single person who is directly or tangentally related to Kris Kardashian. There’s fucking NOTHING to say about these people, so it’s really the media giving them oxygen that bothers me. No one give a fuck about anyone they’ve fucked, either, especially when they have no innate comprehension of When To Shut The Fuck Up And Go Back To Their High-Paying Jobs to do something they actually are good at. And Caitlyn, bless you for what you bring to the trans* community, but you’re still on the wrong side politically for where your life is going and no one takes you seriously when it comes to this new bid to run California.

Do you prefer watching movies or TV shows? I prefer talking to someone with a silent background.

What decorations do you have in your bedroom? Over two dozen framed apple box labels, a few framed postcards, Disapproving Dana over my bed to keep me humble, and some mushroom art.

What was the last notification you got on your phone? Girlfriend telling me she’ll be going to bed in, uh, about ten minutes from now, because after she gets into bed she’ll call me to tell me about her day.

What career or study were you really interested in but didn’t pursue? Psychology.

Where do you buy most of your groceries? Winco.

Have you ever taken a painting class? Nope.

Is there a store or restaurant where you’re considered a regular? Red Barn fruitstand.

How far do you have to travel from home to get to school or work? Work is about ten miles away.

Did you use Vine back when it still existed? I didn’t.

Are you more creative or analytical? Analytical.

How do you like your eggs? On someone else’s plate. Scrambled if I have to have them.

How old were you when you started wearing a bra, if ever? I’ve never started wearing a bra. ;-)

What was the last video game you played? Circus Convoy for the Atari 2600.

Are there any recipes you really want to try? Probably, I can’t name any off the top of my head.

Has anyone asked how you feel today? I believe my girlfriend asked how I slept, but I haven’t been asked how I feel in a day or two (post-vaccination). Okay, wait, yesterday I had a dentist appointment and they’re obliged to ask how I feel, when it comes to healthiness.

Well, how do you feel today? It was my Friday so good. But less so after I left because a) I forgot to clock out, and b) I left my clipboard on a shelf when I meant to bring it home [and put what’s on it on the receiving desk].

On that note, how have you been feeling lately? Pretty okay, happy, a bit sore in places and attribute whatever headache I have to my physical labor and my not having any caffiene today.

Have you ever received a speeding fine? Yes, a few times.

Would you rather be incredibly smart or incredibly beautiful? Smart. So I already have this metric. :)

What’s your favourite cookie? Chocolate chip, though will never turn down a peanut butter cookie.

Do you have a doorbell at your house? What I know is there are two wires sticking out where a real doorbell had been, and a plastic one has been pasted on yet I don’t think I’ve ever heard it so I can’t prove it even has working batteries.

What percentage charge is your phone on right now? 100%, since it’s been plugged in since I got home.

What was the last app you had open on your phone? The messenger.

Do you use captions when you watch TV and movies? Not intentionally since while it does help with understanding I get so distracted by them I don’t see what’s going on, I only see the words.

What’s your skincare routine? Facial soap in the shower here, a very gentle face wash cream at my girlfriend’s house.

Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? Yes.

Do you spell it colour, or color? Color.

How tall are you? 5′11″.

What was the last movie you watched? In the theatre, it ws Star Wars: Episode 9 - Fuck Canon, We’re Ending This. On the computer, it might have been Star Wars: Rogue 1 (Episode 3.5). In front of the television, I have no idea but suspect it was a year ago when David Spade at 55 attempted to play the same 25-30 year old putz he always plays in movies.

#100 ?'s

[omegangrins]

[Kingsmen 3: The Golden Service] Harry Hart turns "villain"

TL;DR: The Lepidopterist is the *perfect* name for a "colorfull" megalomaniac who's trying to save the world via villainy.

I've allways had a nagging feeling that Colin Firth's Harry Hart is destined to become a villain. Like Valentine and Poppy, our Hart will break.

Why do I think this? Let's start simple:

1) "I always felt that the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac."

Now you could take it as face value veiled metaphor in their cat and mouse game. A game recognize game moment. Though when you look at it from a character angle, it is rather apparent that Galahad is not lying here. Look at the giddy nature in which they both talk about the subject. Almost lost in a moment of childhood nostalgia. Neither man is lying. So if Valentine tried to save the world like his younger self wanted, then it stands to reason that Harry has that childhood dream himself.

Harry even has a flair for the dramatic already. "Manners maketh man" is all about him causing a dignified scene to teach a lesson to all watching. In the Freebird church scene, you can see it BEFORE he starts fighting because of Valentine's machine.

Feels like a simple "I'm going to the bathroom" or "I'm hot and need to breath outside for moment" would have sufficed and gotten him out of there without hassle from the crazy Baptist and he KNEW that but didn't care. Arthur implies this subversiveness in their conversations about choosing candidates. Then there's the *way* in which he kills everyone there. Not just defense or trying to kill quickly but lots of slow, painful, and fucked up deaths. The killing is Valentine but the style is ALL Harry. It's part of the reasons he's disgusted. Not the enjoyment, but the ease with which he turned so gleefully. That slow motion fade in smile in the middle is proof of this. Harry *wanted* to punish those people the same way Valentine did. That's proven by what he says at the start. (Don't blame him either, just character commenting. Fuck those people.) Part of me thinks the Freebird is playing in *HIS* head. He's a bird freed by blood.

2) The Lepidopterist

I know the clip is from Venture Bros but it's meant to show how two "good guys" became bad. Kinda the perfect coincidence. But I digress... it was a shameless plug to #SavetheVentureBros. 😎😙😍

The hobbyist collecting of insects, fauna/flora, and what-have-yous has looooong been a trope of "colorful megalomaniacs".

Then there's the added bonus that The Lepidopterist sounds like the *perfect* name for a Bond villain.

Butterflies even symbolize death and rebirth and the violence inherent in transforming something for the better.

Is Harry's butterflies a set-up foreshadowing to his coming transformation from "hero" to "villain"?

"I doubt whether I'd work for anyone who drowns their employees. I want to go home. I want my butterfly collection. I want to see Mother."

3) As we know, all the best villains are ones we sympathize with and understand WHY they do what they do. Valentine was trying to solve over-population and save what he could of the species so it wouldn't happen again. Poppy wanted drugs to be legal, partially for vanity reasons but mainly for anger at global government hypocrisies (the same governments which had their heads blown up for trying to kill humanity for their own gain). Wouldn't it fit perfectly for Harry Hart to have seen the horrors inflicted by the world governments and the corruption of not only Statesmen, but his beloved Kingsmen themselves, and say "No more." What's he gonna feel when he finds out Arthur sold the Kingsmen's soul and got him killed? How long has the "shoot the dog" exercise been in practice? Why is trying to drown someone thought of as a reasonable way to help them? Does the rot go to the core? All things any reasonable person would ask after being shot for an organization that was just blown up by a drug dealer.

"When I was shot, can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind? It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."

Who's to say what he would do or the methods he would take, but villains are merely people casting shadows in the way of the light.

4) I put this last because it's more pun than the others and because I only realized it while writing their names out loud. Valentine. Poppy. Hart. A valentine is love, poppies symbolize death, and a heart combines both (a Hart is also the name for an adult male deer over the age of five but I'm not British enough to understand what the fuck that has to do with anything.) There's also Richmond Valentine/Rich Man Love (Rich dude saving the world). Poppy Adams/ Poppy of the Earth (Death of the World). And finally Harry Hart/Harry Heart. An attacking heart. Yeah, that's the old definition of "harry". To harass. (Or Power Ruler of the Five Year Old Male Deer. This isn't an exact science 🙃 ). Honestly, as I write these out, the puns become the hardest piece of proof for me. Brits love a good wordplay foreshadowing.

"... this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

AND what else do they have in common? They're all things associated with the color red. And what's red?

BLOOD.

Sorry, couldn't resist the touch of drama. 🤣

P.S. I know it's not really related but I also subscribe to the Poppy is a former Statesmen theory as well.

Making this an even more thematic connection. Good guys gone villain because of shitty situations.

Edits

5) HE'S WEARING AN EYEPATCH!!! How autistic am I that I missed that in my explanation. Eyepatches just seem that normal to me but they're like the ultimate villain accessory. Unless you're a pirate.

6) /u/Bespoke3 pointed out how the one thing keeping this from happening is Eggsy and Harry's relationship, and I contended that it was true. While making an interesting movie, you need a sufficient reason for those two to be on opposite ends of each other. And in rambling through comments, I found it. This is why you write shit outloud:

It's Princess Tilde!

The first movie showed that world leaders would gladly sell their souls to save themselves, Princess Tilde being one of the few exceptions. The second showed that even after those figureheads exploded (see what I did there 🤣), there was still terrible people left in charge making even worse decisions.

What if Harry's plan is to attack all of the "leaders" of the world as a way to show people they have the power to govern themselves. This would put Princess Tilde, and moreso her family, directly in the line of fire and force Eggsy's hand to intervene and choose.

Save the girl or save the world.

7) As /u/baddestmofointhe209 pointed out, Harry *was* shot in the head. That kind of thing does tend to mess with people after the fact. Maybe turning villain isn't such a stretch. Not evil, but morally grey.

7) As /u/baddestmofointhe209 pointed out, Harry *was* shot in the head. That kind of thing does tend to mess with people after the fact. Maybe turning villain isn't such a stretch. Not evil, but morally grey.

8) My wife was telling me about how Colin Firth has allways wanted to play the villain too.

"Whenever you take on playing a villain, he has to cease to be a villain to you. If you judge this man by his time, he's doing very little wrong."

“I’d never rule out a part in Doctor Who or Torchwood – especially Doctor Who, I’d also love to play a villain like Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes."

9) Thanks to some pushback from /u/The-Reddit-Giraffe, I decided to Google Kingsmen 3 rumors and stumbled on this little nugget about it, and specifically the Harry/Eggsy relationship:

"I'm really not allowed to say anything, but there is a script. It's a really neat idea."

Outside of it telling the finale of Eggsy and Harry Hart's story, we don't know all that much about the plot for the third movie.

"People will either freak out in a good way, or freak out in a bad way, but they will freak out," Vaughn teased. "We're literally finishing the script off as I speak – but they go on a journey that, if anyone sees it coming, then I'll give up."

To which I would like to thank YOU. This is why I love being shown how I could be wrong. I can't help but feel like this is EXACTLY what they're talking about. You don't have a script finished that fast if you didn't already know where you were going with the first two.

It HAS to end like this. Now I can't see any other way. Maybe The Rock is the Big Bad they have to team up to stop at the end but I will say with 99% confidence that Harry Hart will turn rogue for the first 2/3 of the movie.

10) This wouldn't be the first time I was right about something like this either.

#kingsman #kingsmen secret service #kingsmen golden circle #colin firth #taron egerton #mark strong #samuel l jackson #julianne moore #matthew vaughn #sophie cookson #sofia boutella #michael caine #elton john #spy #villain #hero #movie #film #theory #plot twist #james bond #guy ritchie #spy vs spy #thanos #guns #violence #fight #manners #gentleman

[buddypuckett78-blog]

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