#ratatouille imagine

[ssadumba55]

Masterlist: Archived Fandoms

All my writing for Hamilton, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Newsies, A Series of Unfortunate Events, 101 Dalmatian Street, Zootopia, Wall-E, Ratatouille, The Maze Runner, Descendants, Once Upon A Time, Hook, She-Ra, The Incredibles, My Little Pony: A New Generation, Wizards of Waverly Place and Captain Marvel will be linked here!

*I do NOT wish to receive further requests for these fandoms. They're archived for a reason, I'd like to leave these up for people in those fandoms to enjoy but I reserve the right to delete anything on here without warning

Imagines full on one shots with your favourite characters

HAMILTON THE MUSICAL

Thomas Jefferson Permission to Court? (Gender Neutral Reader)

King George I Missed You (Female Reader) Don't Need Riches (Gender Neutral Reader)

BBC SHERLOCK

John Watson Can't Sleep (Gender Neutral Reader)

Sherlock Holmes He's a Jerk (Gender Neutral Reader)

HARRY POTTER

Newt Scamander Awkward (Gender Neutral Reader)

Sirius Black Muggle (Gender Neutral Reader) Deal (Female Reader) Intimate (Female Reader) Try Again (Gender Neutral Reader) Reunion (FtM Reader)

Remus Lupin Girlfriend? (Female Reader)

Queenie Goldstein Lovely Thoughts (Female Reader)

Harry Potter Hogsmeade (Gender Neutral Reader)

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

Klaus Baudelaire Happy Birthday (Gender Neutral Reader) Alone (Gender Neutral Reader) Letters (Gender Neutral Reader) Jack London (Gender Neutral Reader) Yours (Gender Neutral Reader) Substitute (Gender Neutral Reader) Valentine (Gender Neutral Reader) Moving On (Female Reader) Not That Easy (Gender Neutral Reader) Bad Day (Gender Neutral Reader) Anniversary (Gender Neutral Reader)

Duncan Quagmire Christmas Party (Female Reader) Jealous (Female Reader)

Isadora Quagmire Special (Female Reader) The Ersatz Elevator (Female Reader)

Violet Baudelaire Falling for You (Female Reader)

Baudelaires Island Days (Gender Neutral Reader)

NEWSIES

Davey Jacobs First Kiss (Gender Neutral Reader)

101 DALMATIAN STREET

Doug Father's Day! (Gender Neutral Reader)

Delilah Sick Day (Gender Neutral Reader)

ZOOTOPIA

Judy Hopps What Parents Do (Gender Neutral Reader) Halloween's Scary (Gender Neutral Reader)

WALL-E

Wall-E Holidays (Gender Neutral Reader) Fourth of July (Gender Neutral Reader)

EVE Thunderstorms (Gender Neutral Reader)

Wall-E & EVE Robot Child (Gender Neutral Reader) Earth Day (Gender Neutral Reader)

THE MAZE RUNNER

Newt One Chance (Female Reader)

Minho Hopeless (Male Reader) Wherever, Whenever (Male Reader)

ONCE UPON A TIME

Jefferson Scar (Gender Neutral Reader)

Killian Jones Hooked On a Feeling (Gender Neutral Reader) Flower Shop (Male Reader)

HOOK

Rufio I Wish Pt. 1 (Female Reader) I Wish Pt. 2 (Female Reader)

SHE-RA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER

Scorpia Leaving (Gender Neutral Reader) Is This What Love Is? (Gender Neutral Reader)

WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE

Justin Russo Third Chance (Gender Neutral Reader)

CAPTAIN MARVEL

Carol Danvers Don't Give Up (Gender Neutral Reader)

RATATOUILLE

Remy Halloween Dish (Gender Neutral Reader) Fancy Feast (Gender Neutral Reader)

Headcanons Headcanons related to these characters

Being Friends with Duncan Quagmire (Gender Neutral) Baudelaires and Quagmires React to you Saying you Love Them (Gender Neutral) Klaus Baudelaire with Secretly Soft Reader (Gender Neutral) Baudelaires & Quagmires React to Metalhead Reader (Gender Neutral) Playing Overcooked with Linguini and Colette (Female Reader) Dating Remy the Rat Would Include (Gender Neutral) Warning Linguini and Colette About a Leak (Female Reader) Linguini and Colette with Child! Reader (Gender Neutral) Being the Oldest Incredikid With No Powers (Gender Neutral) Reuniting with Twin Sister Catra (Gender Neutral) Being BFFs and Roommates with Adora (Gender Neutral) Dating Alphabittle Would Include (Gender Neutral) Harry Hook x LaBouff!Sparrow!Reader (Gender Neutral) Dunklaus Headcanons

#milo's masterlists #disney imagine #disney headcanons #asoue imagine #asoue headcanons #sherlock imagines #harry potter imagine #hamilton imagine #newsies imagine #wizards of waverly place imagine #my little pony imagine #she ra imagine #descendants imagine #harry hook x reader #ratatouille imagine #the incredibles imagine #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader

[lyrichi]

mc: you know, I'm kinda happy that you're not into movie dates

barbatos: ...why?

mc, sipping their tea: cause my favorite movie is ratatouille

#the way ratatouille is actually one of my fav movies #rat that's cooking OMG #love that movie #anyway #id imagine this tea date going similarly to uh #to that one song #mixed messages that's the one #yeah :(( #also I don't even like tea #yeah #obey me crack #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me #obey me mc #obey me barbatos

[terry-perry]

Charlie: Alastor has done time.

Y/N: What for?

Charlie: No one knows for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him.

Alastor: I defrauded a major corporation.

Alastor: I robbed the second largest bank using only a ballpoint pen.

Alastor: I created a hole in the ozone over Avignon.

Alastor: I killed a man with this thumb.

#incorrect quotes #source: ratatouille #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor #imagine #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar

[pizzazz-party]

Day twenty one! Sweets.

#i like to imagine there’s a tiny creature up there piloting him ratatouille style but maybe that’s exploratory sketches for another time #usagi yojimbo #miyamoto usagi #pizzazz art #artists on tumblr

[leviscolwill]

rúben blurb — #1

you can all thank dilara for rotting my brain with dad!ruben thoughts, also i think this singlehandedly cured my parents issues

you hated loosing your patience with your daughter, but tatiana drawing on her bedroom wall was your last straw after a long day of terrible news. you always felt awful for screaming at her, especially after the big brown eyes she got from her father welled up with tears.

you let her stay with rúben while you tried to distract yourself with grocery shopping. when you opened your front door still guilty about the whole screaming fit, your house was nothing like when you left it. it was now filled with laughter and a divine smell was luring you to the kitchen. but before you could take a step inside and find out the object of your craving, rúben's tall figure blocked the entry.

“no, no. you take a seat, i have a special chef cooking something for you.” he added a little wink, a silent ‘don't worry, i got this’. you sat down waiting for your little surprise, that revealed itself soon enough, in the shape of a lovely 6 year old girl covered in flour, her tiny hands full of a big plate of pancakes.

“i'm sorry mommy, i didn't want to make you mad.” her little voice, made you forget about every other trivial matters of today. you immediately took tati on your lap, and stroked her hair.

“i wasn't mad at you meu anjo (my angel), mommy just had a bad day. i shouldn't have screamed at you, i'm sorry tati.” you covered your daughter's face and hair of little kisses when rúben joined you two and placed a kiss on both your heads, before taking a seat next to you.

“did you cook these by yourself baby?” you asked to your daughter pointing at the perfect pancakes, she laughed a bit and shook her head.

“no daddy helped me, but i cracked the eggs myself!”

“did you now? i'm so proud of you my little chef, you might have to replace daddy soon.” you knew tatiana was over the moon with the little tasks that were handed to her, and you took the opportunity to tease your husband as well.

his large, flour covered, hand, squeezed your cheeks together, “i'll always be my girls' chef, but i can take a little rat under my hat.”

#if i had a nickel for every ratatouille reference i wrote #i'd have two nickels #which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias one shot #ruben dias #ruben dias blurb #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias fluff #ruben dias fanfic #football one shot #football x reader #football fluff #football fanfic #football imagine #footballer imagine

[imaraincloud]

there's a lot of things to love about the pjo series, and I do love all of it, however. in this third episode, watching the pegasus (pegasi?) just hanging around and existing? inexplicable childlike wonder.

#watched it three times and then let the screen paused for a while #so many things I've been excited out of my mind to be finally seeing on screen #but the pegasus was what brought back the exact feeling I felt imagining that world for the first time #insert here the critic from ratatouile reverting to his child self except it wasn't a memory it was the feeling of being a child #purely and completely enchanted #and I'm not even a horse girl #anyways banger episode #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series

[martineisling]

I’ve been wanting to draw these guys together for the past 3 years

#did it turn out how I imagined it? no BUT I DID IT! #from the right: #magnus darryl hardwon beverly ron moonshine taako henry merle and glenn! #it’s the campaign one characters from the dnd podcasts ‘dungeons and daddies’ ‘the adventure zone’ and ‘not another dnd podcast’! #and in this drawing… WELL they were supposed to interact more clearly? like idk how well what they’re doing comes across? #but I mean Darryl hardwon and magnus all had issues about their heights at one point or another. that’s what they’re sorta fighting about #I imagine Ron ‘winning’ some bad berries from prankster Beverly #moonshine is being ratatouilled by pawpaw as they ruin taako’s dinner as he is distracted by Henry who wants to add his one thing #Merle and Glenn both have one eye and one special arm I think they’re just playing around with each other #idk if anyone’s gonna read this but now it’s there if anyone is curious as to what the heck they’re looking at!

[berrygoji]

cooking au where chuuya is a chef and dazai is a food critic.

#did i get this idea from ratatouille? #absofuckinglutely #but imagine the chaos please #when dazai makes sure to be the critic at chuuya's restaurant #and never gives him that extra star he deserves #or one day idk how #they're in chuuya's apartment kitchen #and chuuya realizes dazai doesn't know how to cook for shit #no matter how much he tries to teach him #and he never let's dazai live it down #i wish i was a good enough writer to write fics out of my ideas #this is so stupid #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd.txt

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

FINE I wrote something for this.

Enjoy teehee

Bruce was watching over Floyd. They weren’t really needing to watch over him, at this point. The doctors said he was going to be fine… mostly. But his second youngest brother was almost as frail as Branch was, and he was far less resistant to being taken care of. Something really had shifted in his brain when he’d become a father.

“I’m hungry,” Floyd mumbled sleepily, eyes half-open as he looked at Bruce. “What’s for dinner?”

“Uhh… great question,” he said, standing up and stretching his arms above his head. “I’ll go find out.”

He entered the kitchen, surprised to see how Branch was working in there. As the owner of a restaurant, Bruce was used to cooking on a bit of a higher level. But Branch worked with speed and precision, and his space wasn’t even dirty! Not to mention whatever was on the stove smelled good.

Man, he needed to get him to work in the restaurant sometime…

“Whatcha cooking?” he asked, evidently startling his youngest brother, if the way he nearly jumped out of his skin was anything to go by. He used the opportunity to slink around him, grabbing the spoon he’d been using to get a taste.

“Give that back,” Branch said, snatching it back himself and glaring at him, but Bruce knew it was lighthearted. Mostly.

But he was more focused on the flavor exploding over his tastebuds. “Holy crap, dude,” he said, leaning over to see what was in the pot. “That’s delicious.”

“Oh…” he looked down, scratching the back of his neck like he was embarrassed. “Um… thanks.”

“No, I’m serious! I bet Poppy lives for your meals. She’s a lucky girl!”

“Shut up,” he grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

From the couch, Clay looked up from the book he was reading. “Is it almost ready?”

“It will be ready in a few minutes,” he said, “it needs to simmer.”

Bruce grinned. “So when’d you become a proper little chef, huh?”

He wasn’t sure what, but he thought that he might have said something wrong, there. Branch froze, eyes staring ahead, unseeing. The spoon shook in his grasp, which he quickly realized was due to the fact that his entire body seemed to be trembling.

“Branch? Hey, what’s wrong, I didn’t mean to upset you…?” He really didn’t know what he’d done wrong. He would have reached out to comfort him, but he knew Branch was not a big fan of physical contact in his best moments. He might end up punched in the nose if he even tried to give his shoulder a comforting rub.

Without a word, Branch started moving again, wordlessly turning off the stove and clumsily shoving the spoon into Bruce’s hands. His eyes weren’t focused, but they were watery — was he about to cry? What the hell was happening?

“Dude, are you okay?” Clay called, but it was left unanswered as Branch turned on his heel and speedwalked away, practically running until he got to his door and slammed it behind him.

Clay stared at him in confusion. “What the hell did you do?”

“I… I really don’t know.”

-

Branch collapsed to the ground, back against the door. He couldn’t breathe. His lungs felt too tight, desperate for oxygen that wasn’t coming.

Tears overflowed. Bruce knew. He must’ve known. But no, no — if he knew then he wouldn’t have stuck around this long. Wouldn’t have pretended that Branch wasn’t horrible.

He stifled a sob, pressing one paw tightly over his mouth as he began to cry.

He felt like he was back in that pot. Alone in the dark. Terrified that every moment could be his last.

At least if she had actually eaten him, he never would have become this. This monster that had learned from her. Had aided her. Had killed for her.

It was an accident. He had never meant to push them into the water. He really didn’t.

But he’d been trying to stop them. Without his interference, that troll would have lived. Would have escaped.

He pulled at his hair, breath coming in short gasps. Bruce’s words echoed in his head, mocking him, accusing him.

He knew. They all knew. He deserved to suffer for what he’d done but hadn’t he suffered enough—

But he’d never suffer enough, not when he was what he was, not when he was her little sous chef, not when he had led her right to the village.

He was so much worse than a little grey rat, and yet that’s all he could think.

Rat, rat, rat.

#also just use your imagination bc I didn’t know how to give branch his stutter and I don’t feel like going back and editing #kat writes #trolls #dw trolls #tw #tw cannibalism #tw killing #fucked up ratatouille au

[spiritsofprogress]

Epcot | June 2023

1/2

#disney parks #disney world #walt disney world #theming #Epcot #Epcot flower and garden #flower and garden festival #spaceship earth #journey into imagination #remy ratatouille #three caballeros

[colemorrison]

A truly foolish dream, Cass grabbed your hand and twirled you before dipping you down in front of the window.

"This is it.."

You mumbled, Paris lights shining onto your boyfriends face as he held you, this was your dream, you had made it. Your restaurant was right below you, the bustling of people making your smile even larger.

"What are goin' on about?"

"It came true."

"Anythin' is possible if you try hard enough darlin."

The cowboy pulled you close, placing a fat kiss on your forehead, he loved seeing you so happy, it melted any worries away.

"What will we get up to next?"

"First, I want you to make me whatever you made yesterday."

"We just ate."

"I am a man, I need more. Please?"

Your rolled your eyes and moved to your kitchen, oh how you loved that man.

#overwatch #overwatch2 #overwatch imagines #overwatch 2 #cole cassidy #cole cassidy x you #cole cassidy x reader #colecassidy #sorry guys i'm listening to music from ratatouille #cole's drabbles

[ssadumba55]

Linguini and Colette with Child! Reader

Request: Could you do headcanons for being the daughter of Linguini and Collette from Ratatouille? Linguini x Collette and a Child!Reader

Okay first of all, these two would be the sweetest parents.

Linguini is definitely the dad who loves and spoils his kid too much. He would give/get you anything you wanted

and Colette is the parent who is always complaining he spoils you too much, but secretly she thinks it's adorable

You'd eat well every night, Colette would definitely love cooking for you and her husband

Spending time at the restaurant, helping your mom cooking in the back. Helping your dad serve the customers.

Tell me Linguini wouldn't try and teach you how to rollerskate, much to Colette's chagrin. She's worried you'll hurt yourself but he can't help himself from teaching you (especially when you get so happy when he does)

Hanging out with Remy the rat. Come on you can't tell me these two, who love him so much wouldn't introduce you to their very best rat friend

Colette would definitely be the disciplinary parent. Linguini would never be able to bring himself do it, he would feel too bad, especially if you give him the puppy dog eyes

Sitting on these twos shoulders? I feel like they'd love to put you on their shoulders

Imagine how cute it'd be if they put one of those chef hats on you when you were super small, like it'd be so big on you

They're just overall great parents, they will support you in whatever you decide to do in life

Many cuddles and reassurances, there would never be a day in your life where you wouldn't feel slightly smothered by them but that's okay because it's just their way of showing they love you

Of course, they wouldn't really be helicopter parents, they would give you some space

#disney imagine #disney headcanons #pixar imagine #pixar headcanons #ratatouille imagine #linguini x reader #colette x reader #child!reader #gender neutral imagine #gender neutral reader

[jomarchswritingjacket]

ratatouille ballet adaptation

that’s it that’s the post

#remy controlling linguini’s movements but in ballet!? #can you imagine?? #ratatouille #ballet #pixar

[musicalchaos07]

Not that anyone asks or cares but Nancy and Jonathan (the ones that live in my head and are having a soft epilogue) older daughter (Jordan) is obsessed with Winnie the Pooh and definitely nicknames her younger sister Roo because of it

#The Tigger Movie is Jordan's Ratatouille or her Bambi as it were #<- there's a lot of lore here #also the headcanon is spiraling out of control God help me #but also also imagining a fully grown Dylan being referred to as Roo is SO funny #also if you're curious Jordan's nickname is bunny because Nancy wanted to tease Jonathan's love of thumper #again i have thought about this TOO MUCH #I'll shut up now #jancy

[meekosthemeparkphotos]

Chef Linguini and Chef Figment

#Linguini #Alfredo Linguini #Ratatouille #PIXAR #Figment #Imagination #Journey Into Imagination #display #Creations Shop #shop #World Celebration #EPCOT #TasteEpcot #Food and Wine Festival #International Food and Wine Festival #EPCOT Food and Wine Festival #theme park #Disney #Walt Disney World #WDW

[goldeneyedgirl]

Alright! That's the first time I send an ask message to someone I don't know and probably the last one (because, honestly, is kinda scary) but listen, baby, you had NOT the right to make me addicted to a fic where the mass-murderer-nightmare-of-the-south Major Jasper Whitlock is a whole ass baby daddy!!!! Seriously, I'd never imagine I'd read something like that and LOVE IT??? I mean, I could picture Alice being a mom in some aus, since her character seems to be very attached to the idea of having a family, but Jasper???? The one who killed a thousand of vampires and non-vampires with no mercy???? I have only one thing to say: I need more.

There is no way you're as scared of me as I am of you. I think we should just agree to be scared together. 

Anon, THANK YOU for your message. All my messages mean so much to me, and to know that I've written something that you didn't expect to love? Ugh, made my day. My week. 

The thing about babyverse is that I smashed out like 8k words of it during a Bad Time; I was having some kind of mental breakdown and writing the OG version was my way of mainlining a carton of ice cream and a bucket of fries to cope with my woes. I actually fucking hate baby fics because Jasper and Alice are not parents. Every single baby-related fic that I read on FF.Net pissed me off. But my brain ran away with me and then I decided to riff on the concept and we ended up with five or six variations on a theme, one of which you guys *love*.

I think the thing that is important to remember about Jasper is that he is an ice-cold killer, one of the most dangerous vampires on the continent with a strong reputation even though he walked away over *eighty* years ago. 

In Hybrid-verse, this means there are people in the known that lie away at night wondering exactly what happened to Maria's Major because his reappearance would be catastrophic. None of his past changes because he has a son and a partner; it arguably makes it worse. He still suffers from depression, he still has guilt and shame, and now he's somehow ended up with a mostly-human son to raise.

And the fact that he wasn't close to his father, and has vague memories of Civil Era parenthood has him crazy unprepared for being a dad (he is totally stunned the first time Alice just casually breastfeeds Ollie in front of him one night; she teases him mercilessly that they can have sex and have a kid, but breastfeeding shocks him.) 

As for Alice, she's just always an agent of chaos. I have a very, very hard time imagining her as a mother - baby-verse and the AH tattoo fic are the only two I ever bothered attempting that (and tattoo-verse is kind of a riff on a lot of the AH fics written in '05, so it doesn't really count.) Alice is always going to be authentically herself, and being a mother doesn't change her. Ollie is just the best-dressed kid in the room. 

So have a little snippet of the OG, Official (if there ever is such a thing) Babyverse

“Oh my god, Jasper.”

I gaped at him as Ollie babbled at me, his chubby hands patting at my cheeks. 

It had been two months since the Cullens had arrived back in Forks, since Jasper had come home to me - and to Ollie. It had gone by faster than I thought possible, honestly. 

Edward and Bella had decided to get married in the last weeks of August - the plan was the wedding, a quick honeymoon somewhere in South America (a surprise for Bella, apparently), and home just in time to start freshman year at Dartmouth. Well, ‘home’ would be the house that Esme had picked out in New Hampshire. I didn’t know if they were even planning to come back to Forks after the wedding. 

It felt like a strange and rushed choice after being apart for a year, but I had congratulated them and was pitching in with the wedding planning. They were happy about it, and that was the most important thing. 

My own college plans were a lot more diaphanous than Bella and Edward’s, and I was mostly content just to work out my new normal with my son and my quasi-boyfriend. The summer wasn’t over yet, and I knew I’d have to have a few hard conversations before it was over - mostly that if the Cullens wanted to go to New Hampshire and play college students, I would be staying here in Forks with my family - Simon had suggested taking a bunch of community college credits online to stretch my college fund a little further and to keep me close to home for a while. 

Adjusting Ollie on my hip, I gave Jasper a Look, as he tried not to meet my gaze. Since we’ve gotten home, he’d been… well, amazing. No one had ever taken co-parenting as seriously as Jasper was, and I had never seen as many parenting books as Jasper had somehow collected that first week. The Cullen house suddenly boasted an unnecessary amount of baby paraphernalia (right down to the framed photographs that Esme had asked Dad and I for - I had been mildly horrified to see my first photo with Ollie framed on the upstairs console table; my sweaty, disorientated, and white as a ghost face with Ollie on my chest immortalised next to Rose and Emmett in a Venetian gondola had really done a number on my self esteem.)

But Jasper had give me an insane amount of things since he’d gotten home. First it had been a new baby swing when mine ended up dying spectacularly. Then - when Esme found out that Ollie was an unenthusiastic sleeper at the best of times - there had been an insanely expensive cot that was meant to encourage him to sleep. Then there were books and toys - most of them under the guise of bonding with him. And then a second set of everything at the Cullens because Jasper didn’t want me lugging so many things with me every time we came over. 

(Rosalie had - with all the subtly of an infomercial - asked me if I preferred bracelets or rings, and I had had to squash the idea of any kind of jewellery as a gift. Both of the Cullen women had grown up in an age where the birth of a healthy son and heir would have come with a sparkly piece of jewellery and I thought that was so gross. Jasper had listened to me rant for nearly fifteen minutes, bewildered, after Rosalie and Esme had been insisting he had to gift me some kind of diamond for Ollie - preferably in blue - for weeks. Cynthia had thought I was insane to refuse. The first and only gem I would accept from Jasper would be an engagement ring - when we were ready.) 

And now, there was the latest - and most expensive - of his gifts. 

“You bought me a car?” I said dumbly.

The blue SUV parked out the front looked perfectly normal; shiny and new but not out of place. It was no Mercedes Guardian or Aston Martin or whatever BMW Rose was driving. And I kind of liked that - no one would give it a second look in Forks. 

The thing was, a car had been a much contested item in my family - the ancient little car Cynthia and I had been sharing had finally crapped out beyond repair and we had ended up pooling our savings to save for a new one. We were about three thousand dollars off something decent - Dad and Simon were vetoing anything that they didn’t deem safe enough. Simon and Dad were generous enough to occasionally loan me one of their cars, and Jasper had been more than willing to chauffeur me around. 

Until now. 

“I know you and Cynthia were saving for one,” Jasper began, reaching out to tuck one of Ollie’s curls out of his eyes. I was putting off getting his hair cut because his messy hair was too cute to lose. “But I was thinking…”

“Jas.”

“Cynthia has so many co-curriculars, and spends so much time on the Res that it felt like you’d be spending a lot of time in the car - or not getting to use it as much.”

I was still giving him a Look as Ollie had moved on to grasping at my necklace, fascinated. 

“…I wanted to make sure you were safe,” Jasper said finally. “Rose helped me pick it out - and the carseat. Both have the best safety ratings on the market.”

Walking closer, I could see the carseat already fitted in the backseat. It was, frankly, perfect. I was concerned about the qualifier ‘on the market’ - I wouldn’t put it past Jasper to try and get some kind of unreleased bomb-resistant baby carseat. 

“The car or the carseat?” I asked, looking back at him - he was finally looking a little bit guilty. 

“What?”

“Which is the safest you could find - the car or the carseat?”

“Both.” Jasper looked at me and offered out the keys. Ollie reached out for them with a squeal of delight. “Let me do this for my family, Alice. I want to make sure you have what you need.”

It was hard to argue with him when he called us his family. It always made me melt a little, that he thought of us that way. I had had to squash more than one of his old-fashioned ideas of babies and parenting over the last two months, but his staunch determination to take care of us always made me give in. 

The car was staying. I didn’t have it in me to argue when he was looking at me with that oddly hopeful gaze. And he wasn’t wrong - I did need a car, I wanted it to be a good and safe one, and it wasn’t like he’d gone out and gotten me something ultra expensive… 

“HE BOUGHT YOU A CAR?”

The front door banged, Cynthia bolted onto the street, her eyes huge and her hands on her hips.

“All your brothers are married, right Jasper?” She asked before darting over to the car to inspect it. 

“Nearly.” Jasper was trying very hard not to laugh; he really did get a kick out of Cynthia’s Teenage Drama Queen brand of dramatics. 

“I am doomed to forever have to work for my money,” Cynthia sighed, pulling back and looking over at us. She’d gotten a job at Forks’ bakery slash ice cream slash coffee shop and had spent the last month acting like she was being forced to work in the mines in the dead of winter. It was eternally entertaining, and she was keeping the house supplied in free pastries, ice cream, and bread. “Give the baby to Jasper, Alice.”

I looked over and Jasper looked so hopeful, his hands already twitching.

“He always just stands there with this half sad-puppy, half-hopeful look that you’ll read his mind,” Cynthia said bossily. “Every single time, you wait for her to offer. Just take him - I do.”

Ollie let out a crow of delight as Jasper took him, babbling happily and waving my new car keys in one hand. Jasper had a look of such tenderness on his face that I felt bad he thought that I had some kind of ownership over the child we shared. That he felt he couldn’t just ask to hold Ollie. 

“Hello Oliver,” he said, holding him so carefully. “Are you being good for your mother?” He got a spit-bubble reply; it had only taken two months for Ollie to recognise that Jasper was one of his people.

“You can ask me for the baby, Jas,” I said softly, leaning against his other side; his arm wrapping around my shoulders automatically. “You can hold your son, you don’t need my permission.”

“I don’t like to upset him; he’s always so happy with you,” Jasper murmured, nodding as Ollie brandished the keys at him importantly.

I rolled my eyes fondly. Ollie was happy when Jasper held him. Our son had taken like a duck to water at the sudden reintroduction of the Cullens to our lives; Esme was good for cuddles, Emmett was the one that would give me a heart attack by tossing him in the air and swooping him around until Ollie was red in the face and laughing, and Rosalie was someone that he was entranced with - something about the way that she was with him made Ollie go all soft and angelic when he was with her. Little ratbag had Auntie Rose wrapped around his little finger - probably why she had helped Jasper with the car. 

Ollie still held a grudge against Carlisle for giving him his shots last month, hiding his face every time he saw him. Edward and Bella were terribly awkward around Ollie, but kind to him. Ollie adored Edward playing the piano, and every time Edward had played for him, he had been transfixed. 

Whilst Jasper might have been one of Ollie’s people, he was only just grasping the concept of ‘Daddy’ and Jasper being one and the same. We would get there eventually. He was only a baby. 

“Thank you for the car,” I said softly. “You didn’t have to, but I love it.”

“You do?” Jasper adjusted his grip on Ollie, before pulling me closer. 

“I do. But you don’t need to buy me or Ollie all these things.”

He really didn’t. About two weeks after he got back, Cynthia had read him the riot act and pointed out that since he didn’t sleep, he could be pulling the nightshift, and maybe slip me the occasional twenty so I could buy diapers. That had resulted in him giving me a credit card, the acquisition of the sleep-training cot, and him literally expecting to sit in the tree outside my bedroom and watch over me and Ollie. He’d been surprised when I’d given him a set of house-keys, and allowed him to bring books and a laptop over so he didn’t have to actually watch us sleep. More than one night, he’d ended up in the living room giving Ollie a bottle and reading him back to sleep. There was nothing cuter than going downstairs in the morning to find Ollie passed out asleep on Jasper’s chest, as Jasper read some heavy book over his head. 

“I want to. I love you both so, so much. This is nothing, Alice. This is just a car,” he said softly. 

“Can you two kiss so we can go inside and I can make Dad and Pa feel bad for me?” Cynthia called and I started laughing, Ollie cooing at us before giggling along with me. 

The rest of the Cullens had given no indication whether or not they would be relocating to New Hampshire any time soon, and I hadn’t asked because it wasn’t a conversation I wished to have: I was staying in Forks with my family and my son for the foreseeable future, and no amount of bribery would make me budge. 

Not that Jasper would even try, I knew that. We had talked in through and he understood that I wanted this time with my father and with Simon and with Cynthia. 

Jasper had been spending every spare moment with us, and desperately compensating for leaving me; I knew that Carlisle and Esme had given my parents half of the cost of my medical care for the pregnancy (which neither of my parents wanted to accept until I pointed out that the financial hit would affect Cynthia’s college options, not to mention finishing the house renovation. It might have been loose change to the Cullens, but that money made a difference to us.) 

#when it comes to fit i am that food critic from ratatouille #my fic: hybrid babyverse #just imagine rosalie quizzing jasper on infant care #both of them taking it more seriously than the mcats #also push presents are gross #alice is a strong independent eighteen year old #jasper is so out of his depth and he loves it