#red wine drunk randy

[bbathsalts]

A edit i made of Red Wine Drunk Randy. I legit spent so much time on the internet trying to see if I can find a edit for a meme i was gonna make and I couldn't. so I was like.... Let me make my own. Tbh the edit isn't the best, I made this on procreate since my janky computer cant handle photoshop. It isn't perfect but I’ve never edited official stuff before. :))

#south park #southpark #red wine drunk randy #wine drunk randy #randy marsh #stan marsh #south park stan #southpark stan #south park randy #southpark randy #my art #south park edit #the fractured but whole #sp tfbw #sp edit #sorry for all the tags lmao #im trying to get back into social media and i dont know what people actually tag stuff with #i have no idea how tumblr works #im like a senior citizen im so bad at this #please be nice this is my first edit #i hope this doesnt flop

[wasawattpadkid]

Masquerade

Summary: Tonight's prom night at Woodsboro high and the theme is masquerade ball.

Pairing: Billy Loomis x fem!reader

Warnings: ⚠️18+ smut⚠️ fingering fem!receiving, dirty talk, exhibitionism, biting, masks, foul language, dubious consent,

You were excited for prom. Sydney was your date because you didn't want her going alone. Her and Billy had broke up just a week before the event. It was a shitty thing to do even for Billy. The theme was Masquerade ball. Your red rhinestone mask matched the dress your friends helped pick out. Tatum gasped the moment she saw the dress hanging in the shop window. She convinced you the over the shoulder red and white ombre dress would look good with your skin tone. Sydney's black and red dress matched yours to a T.

"Well look at you two!" Stu clapped as you and Sydney posed. "Babe take a picture of me and the girls." Tatum handed him the Nikon camera as she ran towards you both. "Say, "we're getting laid tonight!"" You laughed as he snapped a few photos. "I'm getting drunk, not laid." Sydney said finishing off the glass of wine she stole from Stu's fridge. "I guess that means I'll be the designated driver then." You were the only one that hadn't had a single drink yet. "Not tonight you won't." Tatum kissed her boyfriend before finishing his sentence. "Stu got a limo for us. We are about to be the hottest bitches at Woodsboro high."

Stu jumped out once the limo pulled in front of the building. "Ladies." He held out his hand helping each one of you out. "How the mask look?" He asked pointing to his face. The mask was devil themed having little horns sprouting at the top. Tatum's matched his being more feminine in nature. "I think it looks badass." He stuck his tounge out in celebration. "Y/n can you help me tie mine?" Sydney asked holding up the accessory to her face. "Yeah, hold up your hair for me." Tatum started to walk with Stu telling you she'd meet you inside. "That isn't too tight is it?" She shook her head. "No, it's fine. Are you ready?" Sydney asked picking up on your nerves.

"I am if you are. Let's go have fun." You held her hand as you walked in. The gymnasium was filled with students just standing around talking. There was no way you'd find Tatum and Stu before the night was over. "Jesus!" Sydney exclaimed as someone ran into her. "Are you okay?" You grabbed her arm pulling her upright. "I'm trying to be optimistic." She said through gritted teeth. "Let's just get something to drink and sit down for a bit."

"Sydney?" A girl said running up to you both. "It's Judy! From drama class?" Sydney squinted thinking. "Oh my gosh Judy! I could hardly tell who you were with that mask." Sydney looked over at you having no clue who Judy from drama class was. "You should come over to our table. Randy said he's been meaning to talk to you." Your friend looked at you not knowing what to say. "Go ahead I'm going to go to the bathroom. Powder my nose." You joked. Judy and Sydney went off leaving you alone at the table in the corner. It's where you knew you'd end up anyways.

"It's not as fun as the movies said it'd be." The man spoke taking a seat next to you. "No it's not- Billy!" He was enemy number one right now after what he did to Sydney. The audacity to even show up was insane. "I thought these masks were supposed to hide your identity?" His hair was slicked back leaving the mask on full display. "They are but you had to pick the one that made you look like the phantom of the opera." You scoffed playing with the fabric of your dress. "It's kinkier than the cheap little plastic ones they gave out." His hand sat on top of your thigh underneath the table.

"Billy you shouldn't be here at all let alone talking to me. What you did to Syd was cruel." He smiled like you said something funny. "Would you rather me cheat on her?" He spoke dangerously close to your ear. The music was loud forcing the proximity between the two of you. "What do you mean?" You asked becoming paranoid of someone catching you. "I mean I left her for you." You pulled back looking at him in shock. He rolled his neck popping the bones loudly. "For me? In what world would I want to get with you?" He once again scooted closer dragging a finger down your arm.

You swallowed dryly as his lips grazed the shell of your ear. "Don't play dumb now. I've seen the way you look at me." Your eyes darted to the floor knowing you were guilty. "See. I'm right." His voice was intoxicating and if this continued you weren't sure what would happen. "So? That doesn't mean I want to sleep with you." You snapped as his hand slowly dragged the fabric of your dress upwards. "That's true but I'm sure you want me to help take care of the ache between your legs. The one that's got your hips moving ever so slowly trying to get friction, am I right?" You shook your head.

"No." His hand made contact with your bare thigh making you sit up straight. "We can't." You said as your tried to push the dress back down. "Relax. No one is paying attention to us." You looked around trying to find just one pair of wandering eyes. His hand slid between your thighs causing your breath to catch in your throat. "Remind me to thank the prom committee for the tablecloths. It's a nice touch." His fingers trailed softly up and down your underwear driving you crazier than you already were. "You're a prick. Sydney should have dumped your ass." He pinched the sensitive skin on your inner thigh causing you yelp in pain. "Don't be rude." You looked around praying the music drowned you out. "It's unbecoming."

His fingers started to draw circles over your clothed clit. "You don't have to fight me Y/n, I've already won." Billy's arrogance only made you want him more. "Fuck you. You haven't won anything." He raised his eyebrows with surprise. You were always sexier when you were mad. "Oh really?" He whispered. "In that case get up and walk away." You stayed still letting his fingers continue their motion. "Not so strong after all huh?" You tried to control you breathing as he applied more pressure to your cunt. His hand made it's way back to his lap as he adjusted himself in a more comfortable position. "I want you to slide off your panties and hand them to me." You opened your mouth to protest but he spoke once more.

"No questions. Hand them to me and you'll get them back once we're done here." You looked at the masked man making sure he was serious. His eyes were sharp looking at you like a predator would his prey. Slowly not to make much noise you slid the fabric over your thighs being careful not to catch them on your heels. "Atta girl." He said as he put them in his pocket. His hand found it's way back between your thighs. His index finger ghosted over your clit making you tremble with anticipation. "You look beautiful tonight." He spoke looking at the way your chest heaved with every word he said. "Just shut up and help me."

His hand stopped moving. "That was rude. I think it'd be far more embarrassing for you if I taught you manners in front of everyone don't you think?" You weren't sure what that entailed but you didn't want to find out. "Besides I know you love when I talk you through it. I honestly think with a little more time I could probably made you cum with just my words." You squeezed your thighs around his hand silently begging for friction.

"But time is what we don't have." He whispered before pulling away leaving his hand where it was. "Where's Sydney?" Stu asked looking at you with a grin. Billy began swirling his fingers around your clit enjoying watching you squirm under pressure. "Uhm- She went off to talk to Randy." Stu nodded looking at Billy for a second. "So what are you doing over here with her?" Your hips jerked just slightly needing more pressure. "Just checking up on her. Why don't you go check up on your girlfriend?" Billy hinted and Stu looked between the both of you. "I'll see you after awhile Y/n."

The man walked away leaving you and Billy alone once more. "You did very good." He praised as his fingers slipped down towards your entrance. Slowly he pushed two fingers in making your head lull back. A moan fell upon his ears only and the fact you made those noises for him excited him even further. "I know, I know." He whispered as his fingers sped up. "Billy..." You grabbed his wrist squeezing it so hard it was sure to leave a bruise. He removed his fingers making you whine at the loss. "I want you to move your hips like just you were earlier." Billy said as his two fingers rested right over your clit. You were unsure of yourself as you started to move your hips. "That's it." You moaned as you grinded against his hand.

Your muscles tightened as a pressure within you began to build. "Billy.. I-" The words were slurred barley coming out as English. "I know baby. Keep moving those pretty hips of yours." You held his hand in place as your arousal soaked your thighs. "Are you going to cum? You've already made such a mess it'd be a waste if you didn't finish." It sounded like a threat but he had no intention of stopping your beautiful movements. You bit your lip trying to stop the noises he so desperately wanted to hear. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" You cried quietly hiding your head on his shoulder. You bit down needing something to prevent you from screaming. "Shit!" Billy cursed in pain. Your legs shook and your whole body seemed to give out all at once.

Billy held you as you fought to catch your breath. "Y/n?" Sydney asked stumbling upon your frail state. "She's wasted. You shouldn't leave her alone." Billy accused his ex girlfriend of wrong doing. "You're right I shouldn't have. Creeps like you take advantage." You blinked trying to come down from your high. "I'm okay I just need some air." You tried to stand on shaky knees almost collapsing. Billy leaned down whispering once again. "Just wait a second." Sydney eyed her ex with nothing but pure hatred. "Go find Tatum I'll walk her outside." Billy said standing up carefully pulling you up with him. You fixed your dress the best you could. The wrinkles would be obvious if it wasn't so dark.

"How about you go find Tatum and I'll walk her out." Sydney argued to Billy's disappointment. "I saw her go into the bathroom I can't really get her there can I?" He seethed trying his best to keep the peace. "Y/n if he tries anything hit him in the balls." You managed a laugh finally being able to breathe. Sydney took off quickly to tell Tatum it was time to go. "This never happened." You said as he walked you to the doors. "It definitely did." He quipped as the fresh air hit your face. "These are yours I believe." He pulled out your panties displaying them for the world to see. You quickly snatched them bunching them up into your hand. "I hate you and I hate prom." You muttered more than disappointed in yourself. Billy dusted off his vest fixing the mask on his face. "You know, I'm just beginning to like it."

#billy loomis #Loomis #billy loomis scream #scream #scream 1996 #ghostface #billy loomis x reader #ghostface x reader #scream fanfic #scream fanfiction #billy loomis x female reader #billy loomis fanfiction #billy Loomis smut #scream smut #scream x reader #smut #x reader

[sluttysnails334]

South Park High School Party Headcannons bc school is starting back up again and my inner party girlie is pumped

tw: alcohol, drug use, substance abuse, not good coping mechanisms lol

Tolkien host the parties, and buys the alcohol, he has a fake!

Kyle doesn’t drink, but is very 420 friendly

Stan, and Kenny and Cartman, and sometimes Butters, pregame. Stan gets alcohol from Randy

Tweek can’t go to parties sober because they overwhelm him, so he pregames with Craig of course and Kyle by getting high. Typically hot boxing Kyle’s car.

Bebe, Clyde and Nichole are all lightweights

Wendy and Red are not

Clyde is a both a giggly and sloppy drunk, he laughs at everything and can’t walk in a straight line.

Stan is a sad drunk, he always thinks he won’t be but he is, and always ends up in the bathroom or some empty room crying at the end of the night.

Kyle comes and helps him ^^^^

The Goth kids only drink whiskey, and smoke cigarettes outside the party bc they can’t stand the “white boy suburban trash music”

Speaking of music, Craig controls the playlist, when Tolkien host the parties. He plays dope music tho

Jimmy doesn’t think so, and tries to hijack the playlist and plays like ABBA or Queen and says that it’s “real music” and Craig yells at him because it’s not “party” music.

Craig and Tweek are touchy drunks, and more often than not will escape a party to go do NSFW things

Cartman always throws up. Butters helps him.

Kenny has p*lls and other hard drugs, because he has access it to, but doesn’t give it away to just anybody.

Most of the girls will only drink hard seltzers, and maybe like Pink Whitney. Only because it’s pink.

Bebe especially will never touch a beer. However if you get this girl a twisted tea, though ( which has beer in it ) she’ll be turnt.

If Tweek drinks, which he doesn’t like to, it’s wine. I don’t make the rules.

Cartman can do the WAP dance and always does when he’s drunk. (it’s hilarious)

Butters will deny up and down he doesn’t go to parties or party but for some reason is at every single one.

Tweek loves to dance, Craig does not. Tweek makes Craig dance with him.

Kenny will probably end up doing some sort of big stunt or dare that may or may not involve nudity.

Bebe is an angry drunk.

#south park #sp creek #sp headcanons #sp style #south park headcanons

[catb-fics]

what do you think each of your Van's would be like when they're drunk? 🥴

Thanks for this ask I love doing these! Xxx

❤️ Red Van

Totally loses his cool edge and you love it, he becomes very affectionate, looking at you with adoring puppy dog eyes and declaring his undying love for you. Thinks he’s the world’s best dancer but has all the co-ordination of a newborn baby giraffe. There’ll usually be a marriage proposal and an in-depth discussion about how many children you’ll have together at some point in the night that he won’t even remember in the morning.

❤️‍🔥 Devil Next Door Van

He thinks he can handle his drink but after several pints he’s slurring his words and falling over his own feet. Becomes even cockier than usual which grates on you something chronic. Good fun though if you can see past the insufferable ego… will do anything for a dare. Usually the one to suggest drinking games at parties, often ends up with him getting naked.

💖 I’m With the Band Van

If you thought he was horny before then you’re not prepared for drunk Van. Very touchy-feely, it’s like fending off a randy octopus, his hands are everywhere at once. He’ll write you silly songs with ridiculous lyrics, telling you in earnest that it’s his best ever work. Falls asleep in strange places, much to the delight of the other band members who’ll draw on his face with a sharpie pen whilst he’s passed out.

🖤 Prof Van

His playful side surfaces when he’s drunk and you love it when he lets himself go and indulges. Just as naughty as sober Van but much more chilled and he’ll relinquish some of his usual control. His propensity for taking risks increases. Definitely more affectionate with you and will let his guard down, he’s even likely to spill some closely guarded personal secrets…

🧡 Prof Bond

Definitely enjoys a tipple! Everything about him is amplified when he’s drunk, his sweet, caring nature, his naughty streak, his lustful attraction for you. His inhibitions lower too and his fun-loving side wins over his usual cautiousness. Will easily captivate an audience in the pub with his weird and wonderful story-telling. Gives the best, cosiest bear hugs. Life and soul of any party.

💙 Ice Cold Van

It’s not often you’ll see him drunk, he’s very restrained and knows his own limits, stopping after a few glasses of wine or a few measures of whiskey. He hates the feeling of being out of control. It’s probably just as well as he can be unpredictable and you’re not sure which side of him you’re going to get, sometimes an old grudge or a painful memory will surface and then you’re the only one who can comfort him and talk him down.

💗 Dad Van

Absolute lightweight, this man cannot hold his beer at all. You love his daft smirk and the dopey heavy-lidded expression he wears when he’s half-cut and the way his affectionate nature multiplies a hundred-fold. Prone to falling over. Tells the worst jokes and thinks they’re hilarious. His drunken dance moves at parties are legendary. He gets broody and sentimental and usually tries to persuade you to agree to trying for more children.

💜 Pure Van

I’ve been wondering about this! Can demons even get drunk?!! I think not but maybe when they are in mortal form… ooh thinking about this has actually given me such a good idea for the story (which I must get updated soon!)

#character headcanons #au fanfic #vanfic

[unsoundedcomic]

Were Toby and Anadye ever able to consummate their relationship?

One could find a great variety of services inside, but never had the Nevergreen been the most private of brothels. Every bathroom stall had a peephole, every bedroom wall sported a discreet switch to render it transparent, and even the sensory deprivation tank had a two-way panel to pipe any particularly salacious squawking up to the bar.

But tonight, Toby had promised Ana solitude. After most of the action had quieted upstairs, he led his secret paramour away from Stockyard's watchful eye - and the shark-like black eyes of the busybody lizards he paid off - to a selfishly kept alcove beneath one of the subterranean docks. Ana found it charmingly isolated, if stinky. There was a quilt, a few ratty down pillows, some empty cans of kedis chow (Toby loved his keddies) and now an empty bottle of Brokton Red.

And boy did Anadyne need that warm booze sitting in her belly when she reached down the big man's trousers and wrapped a hand around the prize inside.

"Did you hit it?" she gasped, her fingers barely clearing its circumference. Toby's ears turned red. His forelock drooped.

"What do you mean?!"

"It's like it's swollen! Was it stung by a wasp? Do you need an ice pack? You know I learned a trick to conjure one-"

"NO!" he bellowed, crushing his hands protectively over himself. "DO NOT! And of course it's not swollen! I mean, it IS! But that's what they DO!"

"Shush!" Ana gingerly withdrew her fingers. "Stockyard will hear us!" She smothered a smile as Toby's embarrassment spread to his cheeks. Mother's Love, he was cute. Like a big stupid overgrown saddlehound that still wanted to sleep up on the settee. "It's for you smoking that bunk," she chortled, "Didn't your ma tell you not to?"

"Who listens to their ma?"

Ana settled back on the quilt, smoothing the fall of her skirts around her knees and considering their plight. Of course she'd handled wanton clients and their troublesome lower stories in a professional capacity not so long ago, but she'd not had possession of her current toolset in those days. Now, she wasn't Anadyne the whore, but Anadyne the spellwright. Anadyne the spellwright had Options.

"I can offset the Contour Aspect," she suggested, wondering what her tutor would advise, "I don't really know how that would feel for you though... Sensation would require touch, I think, and if the Contour is temporarily offset, you mayn't get anything out of it at all! And if I lost concentration and slipped my spell it could split me in half! Or if I flubbed it the khert might throw a wobbly and make a Black Tongue of you! Still... we have to figure something out, you're not a great conversationalist... I know there are pymarics for this but buying anything in Cresce is such a hassle... Maybe I do an experimental practise cast first just to see what's what..."

She reached for his privates again. Toby's prime rib hands did not budge. She could see him chewing on a mouthful of unsaid words, trying to pick out the most diplomatic ones.

"...let's keep boozing," he decided, "By and by I'll either be randy enough to let you have your fun lightin' me up, or drunk enough that I sodding black out."

"How about a handy?"

Toby perked. Ana grinned, wiggling her fingers. "That heavy thing... Knock did say I need to work on building me biceps-"

With a roar, two massive paws wrenched the quilt from under her! Anadyne was thrown backwards shrieking, laughing, clutching her ribs! The empty wine bottle rolled out into the light, and then down into the black water.

#prose

[sp4ceman-craig]

I can't stop thinking about Randy Marsh in Hatchetfield. I asked my friend once how Randy would handle living there, and he said "get red wine drunk."

This has been showing on repeat in the theatre of my mind for a couple of weeks now. I've always sort of headcanoned that Becky has a little bit of an alcohol problem. Thus, I think she and Randy should meet at a bar and become friends. Because they both deal with living in Hatchetfield the same way. I don't WHY exactly I feel like this, but I just think Randy and Becky would be good friends.

Also, in terms of friends Randy might make in Hatchetfield, I think he'd end up being friendly acquaintances with Mark Chasity. Mark is the realtor who sells him his land, and they end up becoming somewhat chill. Although I think Randy would secretly find Mark kind of annoying. This came to me after I was struck by the revelation that they're both (canon be damned) bisexual dads.

#hatchetfield #south park #jay's soliloquies #hatchet park #randy marsh #becky barnes #mark chasity

[ozziesjester]

red wine drunk randy makes me feel things i don't want to be feeling

#puppy barks #🍻 #started playing tfbw again #might post soup screenies from there he looks so cute ingame

[old-archivist]

Drinks of Thedas

Thedas has a variety of drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike. Though their liquor vastly outnumbered any other type of beverage. As with the other posts, the following list are canonically named in the series.

For Additional Food Posts

Dishes, Sauces, and Sides

Raw Ingredients

Prepared Ingredients

Cannonically Possible Foods and Drinks

Master Post

Absinthe

Absence - One of the bottles of Thedas you find in Inquisition.

Absinthe - also referred to la fée verte - “little green fairy”

Petite Absinthe - Made from a certain type of wormwood.

Ale, Beer, Drafts, Lagers, and Stouts The Tapster's Tavern in Orzammar serves 52 types of ale, some are listed.

Ale

Ander Stout - This stout is stored in oak casts.

Barley Wine - Despite its name, this is an ale.

Beer

Brakien Brew (Orzammar)

Brown Ale

Coconut Draft

Fereldan Beer

Fereldan Lager - A pale ale.

Lichen Ale (Orzammar)

Oghren's Homebrew - An amber coloured ale with a slightly sweet, nutty flavor and described to have a hint of toastiness, and is spiced with cloves. (Dwarven)

Qunari Ale

Ryott Ale (Fereldan)

Ryotte Beer (Fereldan)

Valenta’s Red (Orzammar)

Watered Beer - While watered beer is served to reduce the price of beer and stretch it along, it is also served as a provision. In Serault, the peasantry drink watered beer to stave off the summer heat.

Watered-down Ale

Wildwine - An ale made from ryott. (Chasind)

Wilhelm’s Special Brew - This dark-colored ale gives off a thick, oaky smell. When swirled in its tankard, it takes on an unexpected glow.

Brandy

Aged Antivan Brandy

Antivan Brandy

Antivan Plum Brandy

Apple Brandy (Orlesian)

Orlesian Brandy

Plum Brandy

West Hill Brandy (Ferelden)

Cider

Brandy-spiked-cider

Cider

Serault Cider

Winter Cider (Wycome)

Cocktails

Benediction (Orlesian)

The Emerald Valley (Orlesian)

Dragon’s Piss - The name is probably figurative, but no one knows for sure. BioWare gives the "recipe" for Dragon Piss as "1 oz light rum, 1 oz dark rum, filled with iced tea". (Orlesian)

The Golden Nug (Orlesian)

The Heart of Spring - A "restorative" drink from Verchiel made with violets. (Orlesian)

The Hissing Drake (Orlesian)

Ice Cream and Beer

A Night of Shame (Orlesian)

Posset - A drink made of hot milk curdled with ale, wine, or other liquor and typically flavored with spices. Can be drunk as a delicacy or as a cold remedy.

The Randy Dowager (Orlesian)

To Cure a Cold - a folk remedy that requires boiling whiskey and adding lemon juice and crushed garlic.

Gin

Gin

Prophet’s Laurel Gin

Grey Warden Liquor These are bottles unique to members of the order, as each warden will combine half-full bottles in order to save space. No bottle is ever fully emptied or cleaned. In order to preserve the base flavor. They are called Grey Whiskey, Ritewine, or Conscription Ale, each vintage is named after a warden with a small note.

Vintage: Warden Anras - Bottled whimsy.

Vintage: Warden Bethany Hawke - Princess piss.

Vintage: Warden Carver Hawke - Toast them all.

Vintage: Warden Daedalam - Extra red.

Vintage: Warden Eval’lal - Griffon Wing Ale

Vintage: Warden Gibbins - Don’t frigging touch! I spit in this! I mean it!

Vintage: Warden Jairn - Smash when dead.

Vintage: Warden Korenic - Notes of fruit and anger.

Vintage: Warden Riordan - Serve yourself.

Vintage: Warden Steed - Joining juice.

Vintage: Warden Tontiv - Home.

Mead The Tapster's Tavern in Orzammar serves 17 types of mead, some are listed. Honeywine is another name for mead.

Avvar Mead

Chasind Sack Mead

Lady Odette Guillory's Family Honey Wine

Mead

Orlesian Honeywine

Port A sweet, fortified red wine, typically served with dessert.

Antivan Port

Tevinter Port

Rum Boot Screech is another name for rum.

Alvarado’s Bathtub Boot Screech

Blackwater Rum

Dark Llomerryn Rum

Tea and Other Drinks

Coffee (Antivan)

Cocoa/Hot Chocolate

Juice

Fermented Fruit Juice

Pickle Juice

Pomegranate Juice

Prune Juice

Punch

Spicy Punch

Tea

Almond Tea

Anderfels Mint Tea

Bitter Tea - An unspecified tea so bitter it is astringent. Served during the Fourth Blight.

Black Tea

Black Tea with Juniper

Fires of Change Tea

Herbal Tea

Iced Tea

Lattenfluss Tea (Anderfels)

Mint Tea

Nameless Tevinter Tea

Rivaini Spice Tea Blend

Rivaini Tea

Rosehips Tea

Spiced Tea

Stripweed Tea

Unsweetened Tea

Verimensis Tea (Tevinter)

Whiskey

Cinnamon-infused Whiskey

Ferelden Whisky

Legacy White Shear

Mackay’s Epic Single Malt

Wine The Tapster's Tavern in Orzammar serves 12 types of imported wines, some are listed.

Agreggio Pavali (Tevinter)

Alyons Black

Amaranthine Red

Anderfels Red

Antivan Red

Bitter Black Wine

Celestine Black Wine

Dandelion Wine (City Elves of Orlais)

Elderberry Wine

Elfroot Mixed with Wine

Finale by Massaad

Flames of Our Lady

Flat Wine

Ghislain Red

Iced Wine

Montsimmard White

Mosswine (Orzammar)

Mulsum (Tevinter)

Orichalcum mixed with Wine - Considered to have aphrodisiac properties.

Orlesian Red

Plum Wine

Red Wine

Serault Yellow Wine

Serault White

Silent Plains Piquette (Tevinter)

Southern Black Wine

Spiced Wine

Sweetened and Spiced Yellow Wine

Val Chevin Red Wine

Vint-9 Rowan’s Rose

Watered Wine

White Seleny Wine (Antivan)

White Wine

Yellow Wine

Additional Spirits

Abyssal Peach

Antivan Sip-Sip

Aqua Magus

Aquae Lucidius - A potent liquor made of wyvern venom; a rare drink known for its hallucinogenic properties.

Bottle of Rotgut - Rotgut is slang for cheap whiskey.

Butterbile :84

Carnal 8:69 Blessed (Orlesian)

Dwarven Ale - Not actually an ale, but a black liquid reputedly made from fungus with a reputation as being almost undrinkable for anyone not a dwarf.

Garblog’s Backcountry Reserve

Golden Scythe 9:40 Black

Hirol’s Lava Burst (Kal'Hirol)

Maraas-Lok (Qunari)

Moonshine

Potent Moonshine

Sun Blonde Vint-1

Sources: ( If you want to find direct links or page numbers check out the wiki’s drugs and alcohol page.)

Dragon Age: Origins (Base and DLCs) Dragon Age: Awakening Dragon Age 2 (Base and DLCs) Dragon Age: The Last Court Dragon Age: Inquisition (Base and DLCs) Dragon Age Tabletop RPG Core Rulebook World of Thedas Vol. 1 World of Thedas Vol. 2

Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne Dragon Age: The Calling Dragon Age: The Masked Empire Dragon Age: Last Flight Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights Short Story: The Riddle of Truth Short Story: Paying the Ferryman

DA:O Codex entry: The Casteless Item: Ale Item: Brandy Item: Brandy Cheap Item: Chasind Sack Mead Item: Garbolg's Backcountry Reserve Item: Golden Scythe 4:90 Black Item: Legacy White Shear Item: Mosswine Item: Rare Antivan Brandy Item: Sun Blond Vint-1 Item: Wilhelm's Special Brew Item: Wine Weapon: Cat Lady’s Hobble-Stick

DA:A Item: Aqua Magus Item: "Dragon Piss" Item: Hirol's Lava Burst Item: Mackay's Epic Single Malt Item: Moonshine Item: West Hill Brandy

DA II Codex Entry: Orichalcum Codex Entry: The Wine of Chateau Haine Junk List: Bottle of Aged Antivan Brandy Junk List: Bottle of Potent Moonshine Junk List: Bottle of Rotgut Junk List: Dwarven Ale Junk List: Orlesian Honeywine

DA:I Codex Entry: Bottles of Thedas Codex Entry: Charred Notebook Codex Entry: Grey Whiskey/Ritewine/Conscription Ale Codex Entry: Hard in Hightown: Chapter 11 Codex Entry: Hard in Hightown: Chapter ??? Codex Entry: In the Mist: The Windline Marcher Codex Entry: A Nutty Affair Codex Entry: Three Little Empresses Note: Betta’s Travel Journal Note: The Rusted Horn’s Menu Note: The Gilded Horn Drink List War Table Mission: Gain Access to Ghilan’nain’s Grove

Last Court: The Acerbic Dowager The Anchoress (Card) The Antidote The Boastful Neighbor The Elegant Abbess Go Hunting - Take Extra Provisions Good Neighbors Grant a Petition The Next Course The Purveyor of Teas The Wayward Bard The Whispering Woods Your Bard is Restored to You

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#dragon age #dragon age meta #drinks of thedas #Thedosian drinks #Anderfel Drinks #Antivan Drinks #Avvar Drinks #Ferelden Drinks #Free Marcher Drinks #Kal'Hirol Drinks #Nevarran Drinks #Orlesian Drinks #Orzammar Drinks #Qunari Drinks #Tevinter Drinks #dwarf drinks #Elf Drinks #Human Drinks #Fantasy Liquor #Fantasy Tea #long post #my meta #Archi is Archiving #Thedosian foods

[kuchipark]

South Park Main Four Dancing HC’s

(Head Canons By Someone Who Can’t Dance For Shit)

[This was supposed to just be about dancing but I got a tad side tracked, so there is some bits about their music taste in there, too. Enjoy!! (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)♡]

Main four + Butters bonus

Kenny McCormick:

- Unintentionally good.

- The way he dances is slightly feminine but not at all girly. (just smoother, more control over his hips, his limbs move in a satisfying, flowy way, less stiff, etc.)

- He takes the male role when slow dancing/waltzing/grinding, etc.(had to add the last one because he TOTALLY is the type to be shamelessly grinding on the dance floor) but with salsa dancing he sometimes likes to take the feminine role, just because he thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

- Finds a way to dance to any song. Like Peruvian pan flute music.

- Dances when he’s happy

- Confident Dancer

- Really satisfying to look at

- Isn’t aware that he’s good at dancing, because he doesn’t really think dancing is something you can be “good” or “bad” at, it’s just shaking your body in all directions and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks

- Would never judge someone for how they dance

- “Twerks” (just throws his back back, and calls it twerking)

- Dances with friends to cheer them up (like in that one Harry Potter scene, where Harry dances with Hermione to cheer her up (fuck JK Rowling but that scene is adorable))

- Often dances with Karen, free and fun entertainment

- he still listens to CD’s/cassette tapes, because he can’t afford an Apple Music/Spotify/SoundCloud subscription and he had some old CD/cassette players laying around that he fixed up. Cartman rips on him for this, telling him to “get with the times”, but he doesn’t care.

- He doesn’t have spotify because he can’t skip songs, which is super annoying because he throws every song he likes into one big playlist. So when he’s listening to relaxing songs, he wants to be able to skip the heavy metal Slipknot song that comes on right after. He does have Soundcloud because there are less ads than Spotify, and he can skip songs, but he honestly prefers CDs and cassettes at this point.

- Drags people to the dance floor at parties

- Likes songs with dirty or doltish/childish lyrics

- Listens to stuff like ice ice baby and careless whisper

- But also to stuff like Cherry Pie and Louder Harder Faster by Warrant

Stan Marsh:

- Stan dances like a mom;,.. Or a wine-drunk Randy

- At times Horribly offbeat

- Can’t tell if he got his moves from Randy or Sharon

- A bit of a stiff dancer

- Bad but in a charming way, that’s fun to look at

- Knows he sucks, but doesn’t care

- He has potential but he lacks a sense of rhythm and all his moves are at least 20 years old

- The confidence he oozes makes his uncool moves not seem awkward but more endearing

- Still does stuff like that one scuba dance move, or the thing with the peace signs over the eyes

- Loves playing Just Dance with Kenny. Kenny just does it as a stress reliever but Stan tryhards, determined to beat Kenny’s ass at least once.

- He and Kenny usually dance together at parties, leaving Kyle to look for Stan everywhere (because he never announces where he’s going, he just sees Kenny on the dance floor and beelines in his direction.

- When Stan & Kenny are REAAALLy drunk, the dancing gets weirdly sensual (like Stan holding Kenny’s hips from behind, or vise versa) just because they think it’s fucking hilarious. There isn’t any actual sexual tension, just friends goofing around. sometimes they accumulate a little (mostly female) audience when they do this. The girls wolf whistle and yell shit like “Yeah, baby! shake that! (Which—let’s face it—are usually Bebe/Red or Heather) Nichole and Wendy usually just stands there, amused, trying to suppress laughs, cheering them on.

- Sometimes, (If Stan & Wendy aren’t fighting/broken up) Wendy will tap Kenny’s shoulder and ask if she can steal his Date from him. Kenny very politely backs off, but not before giving Stan a big, sloppy kiss on the hand/cheek and mouthing stuff like “call me” (with the accompanied hand sign, ofc) while getting dragged off by Bebe.

- The one thing he is actually good at is slow dancing, he spent hours upon hours practicing with Kyle because he was scared he’d step on Wendy’s feet (and he had good reason, Kyle’s toes suffered more than one could count) He could’ve asked Kenny for help, but dancing like that in a serious way—not just fucking around—while sober was way too vulnerable (Plus, he would rather slow dance with Kyle).

- Stan begs Kyle to dance with him all the time but Kyle isn’t that big on dancing, at least not in public

- Stan also listens to CD’s and cassettes, but he likes it for the “aesthetic”. He and Kenny exchange CD’s and cassettes every few weeks so that they can listen to each others recommendations. Kenny likes literally almost any genre, so he almost always digs the music Stan picks for him. But Stan has a more particular music taste and has gotten back to Kenny with a “Dude, wtf was that” more than a few times. Kenny has gotten really good and guessing what Stan will, and won’t like, though. So that rarely ever happens anymore.

- Very passionate about music

- Metalhead (duhhh)

- Aggressively sings along to songs

Kyle Broflovski:

- Also aggressively sings along to songs (He can’t sing)

- Not good but not bad

- Also a bit stiff

- Usually just nods along to the music

- Doesn’t hate dancing but just doesn’t do it as often as Stan & Kenny

- Prefers dancing alone in his room, or with Stan rather than out in public

- Not a big fan of the dance floor, but after a drink or two he can be persuaded

- A good slow dancer, taught by Sheila… against his will

- Likes watching Kenny and Stan dance. Specifically Stan, something about the way he dances so confidently uncool and manages not to look awkward mesmerizes him. Kenny just moved like a flowy piece of fabric, anyone would find it satisfying to look at.

- While teaching Stan how to slow dance, Stan would sometimes twirl him (that’s not a part of slow dancing, but Stan just thinks it’s more fun that way) and he’d sometimes twirl Stan too, but he couldn’t do it more than twice in a row before Stan would get nauseous and almost throw up (either from the twirling or from something else? ;))

- Usually watches on the couch while Kenny and Stan play just dance, and usually getting successfully coaxed into playing with them for just oneeee song

- Likes the cure (END OF DISCUSSION, THIS IS NOT EVEN A HC, IT’S CANON)

- Likes rock and jazz

- When he does dance it’s usually kind of laid back (Unlike Stan and Kenny who throw their entire soul into it) Because he’s a but more conscious of all the eyes around them. But he can definitely let loose when you mix the right amount of booze… or when he’s tryharding Just Dance

- On the rare occasion that he can actually find them, he’ll cheer on Stan and Kenny, too

- Kyle usually gets the aux, Kenny used to get a chance but after he put on “No Cock Like Horse Cock” by Pepper Coyote for the third time, they made a unanimous decision to put him on timeout

- Still uses the same ipod he’s been using since 2013 to listen to music

Eric Cartman:

- Does not dance

- Refuses to dance

- He just stands there with his arms crossed, tapping his foot at most

- Except when lady gaga comes on, he’ll give a whole performance

- Most definitely dances when no one is watching

- Likes hiphop

- Definitely thinks he can rap

- Blares along to every song

- Out of breath after the most minimal of dancemoves

- Gets his panties in a twist when Stan and Kenny “fag it up” at parties

(Bonus)Butters:

- Somehow even more off beat than Stan, in an awkward way

- Too shy to dance at first, but once he starts there is no holding him back

- Seriously, what the fuck is this guy doing?

- Flaps around his arms and calls it a dance move

- Really fun to dance with

- plays christmas music in July

- one word: Gangnam Style and Baby Shark

- Those are five words

- But seriously, never let this guy do the music, you’ll regret it immediately

All:

- I saw this in a fanfic once, but it’s perfect. They definitely all sing along to The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang. I will stand by this till I die!

That was it!! (for now), I spent waaaaay too long doing this and as you can probably tell I got lazy towards the end. (But tbh I didn’t rlly have any ideas for Cartman/Kyle, like I feel like they could go a lot of ways.)

I hope it wasn’t too long,, or too short. Let me know some of your HC’s if you feel like it, I love reading them!

Is anyone gonna read this ya think?

#south park #kenny mccormick #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh #eric cartman #leopold butters stotch #butters stotch #butters #kenny #stan #kyle #cartman #sp stan #sp kenny #sp kyle #sp cartman #sp #head canon #hcs #just dance #dancing #balls #music #metal #metalhead #the cure #sp style #sp stendy #sp stenny #original post

[ennaku-sirri-da]

Hi @spooky-sharko !! I'm answering your s4m ask here because it's my sideblog for everything related to this game

You said:

Hey man so like remember that one time we talked about s4m ponytown pones in the replies of that Habiticians in places they shouldn’t be post? Well I just wanted to show ya some of mine rq!

And you sent:

[ ID: 3 screencaps of Ponytown ponies made out of Smile For Me game characters. The first is Dr. Habit as a short-horned unicorn, and his orange nose is represented as an orange patch mark on his face. He smiles serenely. His screen name holds a smiling emote and sunflowers. Next is Jerafina Tabouli as an unicorn with a happy while drunk, flushed expression on her face. Her screen name holds a wine glass and water drops. Last is Randy Hapukurk as a despondent pegasus with a pickle jar cutie mark. His screen name reads " Pickl boy" in allcaps with a pickle. End ID]

--

My answer: YEAH BRO I remember!!! I just put off replying to it Bcuz procrastination and stress. But it's so sweet of you to reach out again, so here are my ponies as well!!!

Yours are Motherfucking 👌👌👌 CUTE ( OK hand emojis )

Habits nose patch especially!! And I can imagine unicorn Jerafina wreaking Havoc with her spells HEHEJJE MAGICALLY AMPLIFIED BATHROOM KAROKE ANYONE ?!?! ( * Is thinking about how Sweetie Belle sang Hush Now Quiet Now* ) Randy seems like a Melancholic Boy who flies and sighs in the skies, spreading his utterly rancid scent over the heavens~~

Mine arreeee:

[ ID: The first pony is named " mr habbitat" and he is Habit as a unicorn with an orange tipped horn. His hair is rougher and he wears a golden flower earring with a top hat that has a single circling blue stripe, and a tail ribbon. His front hooves are paws. He has sideburns and a small goatee as well. Colors are darker than in-game. The tail is leonine. He smiles sweetly with his tongue out.

The second pony is just him again but in Silly Mode, which is its name. He is totally a black shadow except for open red eyes, an orange snout, blue tongue and the earring.

The third pony is named " B. Habit" in allcaps. He has a softer, rounder look in general with his curled mane and full tail. His mane is in two shades of deeper and duller rose. He too is an unicorn. He has an orange snoutmark and freckles of the same shade. He smiles too widely.

The last pony is "Kam" AKA Kamal Bora as a pegasus. His coat is a deep ocean-blue and hair is more longer and downwards-pointing then in-game. He has a miffed expression. End ID]

I SWEAR IM NOT BIASED /HJ

( Plaintext: I swear I'm not biased /hj )

I have no idea why I made Habit a unicorn here almost every single time when in my MLP AU I always do him as an Earth Pony HWJSJ

But yeah!?! The first one is the one I used most in PT. The third one is like, one modelled after my own former Muppet Habit design. And Kamal pone is more or less based off how I do him in my MLP AU, I made him a pegasus( named Breezy Blossom🫡( salute emoji)) because they have wings, and pigeons have wings, and he reminds me of a startled and always-alert pigeon, city bird too, and like BIRDS AND SHIT MAN it's a WIN

Silly Mode Habit can be used to join the Shadow Pony parties whenever they show up IF YA KNOW THEN YOU KNOW

Also I hope this isn't too forward but would you like to play PonyTown with me sometime!?! You seem chill and like I don't play it much with my friend or my sister anymore so it'd be neat to revisit, but it's just a request LOL

Anyway yyyy

THANK YOU FOR PARTAKING IN PONYS

[ Plain text: Thank you for partaking in ponys ]

#ask #ponytown #MAN SPINS U AROUND TO CAUSE A SMALL LOCALISED WHIRLPOOL #Cool to see u in my notifs !!!

[timmywhisperer]

they used the red wine drunk randy boss music for the release date trailer btw . if any of you care

[southernplayground]

I started playing The Fractured But Whole for the first time ever this week and I cannot stress enough how hard Red Wine Drunk Randy had me in HYSTERICS

#text #south park

[omg26lilly]

Some of you might say, i'm walking away lifting a chardonnay toasting to new beginnings, forgiveness and acceptance.

It's common knowledge how we met in college

Dancing round each other, never so in love.

It was such a rush sipping from your cup.

The glass was always full, half empty anxiety when you were gone.

The emptiness of when I had to buy my own cups, the parties of drinking from red solo cup, it was better than being listless, crying in despair.

In autumn she was having parties, hudeverous, laughing at their jokes, I was just a pawn in your games, I was your safety net, who look at me like you do.

You think your over every trend, every little dirty secret that we shared, is it better than revenge.

Knowing that i'm your favourite drink, you come back every time you've cosied up to all the 1%, trying to reach your potential, oh it's so presidential.

I am always the one who won't run away from your selfish tendencies, accept you for your true colors, you would drink rum and I would drink brandy, then everything would be randy.

What you did to achieve success, do you think you could just click your fingers, your innocent in their games, you could still get out.

It's not to late, we could go back to when we weren't haunted by our mistakes, our balance was off, why are still holding onto you like the child that ran away from creating memories, you never liked not knowing , you always thought you knew better than the rest.

I'd never thought you would so be cold, cavalier to my persistence, I was happy when someone similed, laughed at the right times, paused to think , yet all I ever wanted was you.

The whole world is spinning, when i'm sober I can't go back to the hot and cold of your atmosphere , yet i've drunk all the good wine, even the bitter taste of beer, where I beg you to stop your mind games.

I just want to heal all your wounds, kiss everything better, you don't need all the emotional turmoil, knotting you up inside, you don't need to numb the hunger for success, just breathe in, out, let it all out.

23/7/23

#better than revenge #taylor swift #speak now

[itsshellybitch]

I have written 62 one-shots since I've started this roleplay, so what better way is there to celebrate number 63 than with a good old fashioned Rule 63 gender bend?

********

Sheldon slung his gym bag over his shoulder as he stormed out of the locker room. His hockey teammates parted like the Red Sea to let him through, the way they always did when the team lost. Nobody was stupid enough to mess with Sheldon Marsh after a humiliating defeat.

For once I'm glad that Mom and Dad ditched my game, he mused to himself, making his way to the exit. He hoped that his mom wasn't too wine drunk when she arrived to pick him up. If she arrived at all.

Sheldon's ears pricked up as he heard the voices of two Middle Park players floating out of the visiting team's locker room.

"His name is Sheldon. Seriously. Sheldon. What kind of Melvin name is that?"

"And what's with the headgear? Dude should be on the chess team instead! What a fucking dork!"

Sheldon could only see red. Fists at the ready, he stomped into the locker room.

**********

"What's this I hear about you getting kicked off the hockey team, Sheldon?" his father Shawn asked, as the Marsh family sat down to dinner.

"Those Middle Park turds started talking shit about my headgear," Sheldon replied. "Talk shit, get hit."

"This fighting has gone far enough, Sheldon," his father said sternly. "I've been talking to Geraldine Broflovski and she says that you're not too young to face legal repercussions. I don't want to have to bail you out of juvie, son."

Sheldon snorted. He wasn't scared of juvie. He could take on any of those pussies.

"You've been more aggressive than ever. Look, I know that you've been upset since Lori died, but-"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT HER!" Sheldon bellowed, pounding the table so hard that every dish rattled. He cringed as his voice cracked.

The family fell silent at that. Sheldon swore that he saw something odd flash through his mother's eyes. Almost like... guilt?

"You guys haven't said anything about my new t-shirt yet!" Randi whined after a few minutes, gesturing to her "It's Wine O'Clock" t-shirt.

Shawn pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to his daughter.

"How was your day, Stacey?"

"Fine. Can Kylie, Erica, and Kendra sleep over Friday night? The new Queef Sisters movie will be streaming."

Sheldon sent his sister a death glare. What was so funny about chicks blowing air out their vaginas? Babies came from there!

"As long as it's okay with their parents, I don't see why not."

Sheldon growled. The last thing he wanted was to spend yet another Friday night listening to the incessant screeching and giggling of his turd sister, the green hat turd, the fat turd, and Kelsey's turd sister.

"Ooh, let's make a night out of it!" Randi squealed. "We can do mani-pedis, talk about boys, play Truth or Dare!"

"Um, that's okay, Mom," Stacey replied quickly. "I'm sure that you're going to be busy and-"

"But I'm not like Geraldine and Stella! I'm a cool mom! C'mon, Stace! I can make us appletinis!"

Sheldon gnashed his teeth. His mother never begged to spend time with him. Not like he wanted to do any of that girly shit, but it was the principle.

********

"Um, Sheldon? Mom and Dad said that we could watch the Queef Sisters in here," Stacey stammered to her brother.

"Shut up, turd! I'm watching the game!" Sheldon barked.

"B-but the TV in here is the biggest and there's more room for our sleeping bags and -"

"No, turd! You can watch your stupid movie anytime! Now get the hell out of here before I turn you into a human pretzel!"

Erica climbed onto the couch and inched close to Sheldon. "Pweeze, Sheldon?" she pouted, batting her big cow eyes. "I know that a tough and handsome beefcake like yourself is man enough to let his little sister and her friends watch one little movie."

Sheldon looked at the fat girl disgustedly. How did an absolute chad like Leon Cartman and Jackie Tenorman, one of the hottest cheerleaders the Broncos had ever seen, manage to create... THAT?

"NO!" Sheldon cranked the volume.

Stacey's lip quivered and her eyes welled up. "It's okay, guys. Let's just go to my room."

Sheldon glowered at his little sister. There was no way that he was going to fall for her crocodile tears this time. Not when the Avalanche were winning.

Stacey started to sniffle. Then sob.

Goddammit, Sheldon swore to himself. "Just watch your stupid movie, turd! I got shit to do anyways!" He hurled the remote in the girls' direction and stormed off.

#fic #stan #sharon #randy #cartman

[doflamingadonquixote]

Permission Granted

Titolo: Permission Granted Pairing: FemStormtrooper!OC/Armitage Hux Warnings: Needy general, bad jokes, smut and little fluff Summary: You are a Sergeant Stormtrooper who serves on the Steadfast after the collaps of the Finalizer. One day, Randy the new Intern, delivers a Spiran Caf with an excess of Lothalian Currant Wine to General Hux. Managing a drunk Hux was certainly not in your plans. Words: 5328

A/N : Hi, guys. I’m still sorry for the bad english. This time I did a long one-shot with my favorite character. I love him too much and cannot accept his departure. I don’t know how many fanfics I will write about him, but I can probably say that this will not be the last. I will be grateful for all the comments and reviews (even negative, if constructive) that you want to leave. After saying this, enjoy the reading.

———————————-

It was a day like any other. You had checked the progress of your sector, consulted by the leader of the group, updated the database and you should have eventually compiled your usual report of the day.

But fate had other plans for that day.

Protected by your armor and showing the black pauldrons, you were walking down the corridor with your head totally immersed in the holopad you held in your hands.

The team Leader SE-0987 has just been given a party after the assured victory over Mustafar’s soil on the sixth floor of the Steadfast, in the dining room and dinner of that sector.

You have just been notified that you were invited to this party but that you didn’t observe the captain’s mandate’s first email.

You looked at the time on the screen and frowned. It had already started a few hours ago, would it have been wise to stop for a few minutes? Aware that, you should have established an end to your report?

Despite a thousand doubts gripping your mind, you had nevertheless taken the path to that side of the ship, hoping with the same thing that nothing too inconvenient was done. It wasn’t the first time after all that a team was making trouble after a successful mission.

When you turned down the corridor of the room to reach, you stopped.

The music reached your ears distinctly even though the helmet still attenuated its power and a large group of stormtroopers were about to enter.

You reach the closed door and with a sigh, you also approached to open it.

The one that is presented to you was the most absurd scenario you had witnessed in 17 years of service.

First of all, the room was huge. You had never had lunch in that area, being on the upper floors and you asked yourself if the size of the room needed all the excessive number of stormtroopers concentrated in that wing. Furthermore, a soft red light filled the air and the walls, like a veil.

The second thing you noticed was the crowding. You were almost ninety percent certain in that room there weren’t crowded alone in participating groups but literally the first 7 floors of the unsolicited and non-operational agents at the time.

And third, that even the highest grades were joined in that party. Officers and generals chatted with various agents and it all seemed completely out of the power struggle he was facing.

You asked yourself if General Allegiant Pryde knew about the improvised one. It would probably have been better if you hadn’t been found in such a situation.

As soon as you had time to turn on yourself and someone collided with you, however you didn’t step back an inch while the other figure fell to the ground.

You opened your eyes wide.

“Are you going to keep -hic- staring at me, soldier, or do you want to help me?” Hux puts his hand on his head as he stretched out his other arm in your direction.

Fortunately they all seemed too distracted to have noticed that particular incident, and before you could get into more trouble than expected, you grap him by the gloves.

Believing that he could stand once helped, quickly move away from his hand but he literally collapsed on you, clinging to your shoulders covered in armor.

The man was decidedly taller than you and, from what you could see behind your helmet, his eyes were red and clouded even if the pupil was dilated beyond normal.

Hux looked down at your shoulder and not the classic black pauldrons of your title.

“Oh, a sergeant. I’m sorry.” He let his arm slide along yours, and even if it didn’t directly touch your skin, you shivered.

“General, am I allowed to speak?” You asked how it was from the correct label. No soldier of lower rank could turn to that of higher rank except by permission.

“Permission granted.” Laughted Hux, trying to put his feet better to stay straight.

“Are you okay, sir?” You were seriously worried about his health. Maybe he had hit his head when he fell.

“Not really, sergeant. It seems that an –hic- intern named Randy confused my –hic- Spiran Caf with something decidedly alcoholic,“ sobbed the red-haired general, waving a covered finger in front of your face for no apparent reason. "I was going to –hic- degrate him.”

You grabbed the fly. The man was definitely drunk. Thanks to the helmet you didn’t notice any smell, which was filtered, but from the way he literally leaned on you, his bruised eyes and persistent hiccups, there wasn’t much else to allude to.

“Sir, you are drunk.” You turned around and you clearly noticed that by now you had attracted the attention of some stormtroopers. It would have been a problem if some admiral, lieutenant or general had seen him in that state. General Hux had already been downgraded in authority, Pryde had literally outclassed him. “It is better if I take you to your quarter.”

You covered the general’s body as much as possible with yours and pushed him towards the door in the least obvious way possible. But the man seemed to want to make the task impossible for you.

“No, let’s stay a while!” His complaint was almost that of a child and suddenly he moved away from you, pulling you by the sleeve of his white jacket.

That lament definitely attracted attention and you blushed. “General, I-”

“All the other generals –hic- are here, I want to make friends. You should make friends too, ser –hic- geant.”

The right eye had a nervous tic. What the hell did you care about what his colleagues and subordinates would think of the conditions under which he was reduced? He was your superior, but you were definitely not his babysitter.

“General, if your choice is to stay in the wolf’s den, go ahead. I will not assist.”

You tore your arm from his grip and walked away, approaching the door and clashing with soldiers who had huddled to see what was going on.

Once the door closed behind you, you went back to the pearly white corridors and sighed. He had heard of men who reduced themselves badly with a little alcohol but the General … he was a completely different person.

You half turned to the closed door and frowned. You had seen how troops had quickly pulled out the holo to retake the general and in a way it didn’t seem fair to him that he would pay for the mistake of an idiotic intern.

You snorted while sliding the door again. You entered with a brisk step, pushing the soldiers away and before the door could close again you had grabbed Hux by the arm and dragged him behind you.

Fortunately, the man hadn’t resisted, so in addition to a few trips, you managed to drag him far enough from the room.

“Are you jealous, Sergeant?”

At that question you stopped your steps and looked at him with disbelief.

“General, with all due respect, but you were ridiculing yourself.” You rolled your eyes and when you turned to continue your journey and leave him to his destiny, he rose over your shoulders risking you to fall.

To avoid both of you ending up with your butt on the ground, you grabbed him by the thighs while he let his arms slide down your shoulders and neck and his chest leaning against the back of the armor.

It was incredibly light, which amazed you. You were used to training with much greater weights and for its height you thought it weighed more than 80 kg.

Maybe he wasn’t eating properly.

“I will take you to your quarters, sir. I think it’s the wisest choice.”

You sensed his head dangling to your right and because of the helmet you couldn’t distinguish it well.

On the way, many stormtroopers turned to look at you but nobody said a word. The drunken general’s voice had probably not yet reached all ears.

You hoped that your name wouldn’t come out in the gossip, you would have wanted anything except to face the wrath of Pryde or, worse, of Kylo Ren.

“Sergeant, have I been a good –hic- general for you?”

The question still surprised you. You had never spoken to the general except to convey the day’s information or reports.

The First Order had taken you from the planet of Andooweel in the Arkanis sector at the age of 8. Since then, with grueling 17-year training sessions you have fought alongside and for General Hux.

He must have been about ten years older than you, yet his figure was always younger despite the tiredness that sometimes outlined his face.

You had followed his orders and witnessed the extinction of the Republic with the final weapon Starkiller. It was glorious.

But then the Starkiller collapsed at the hands of the rebels, you had risked your life to protect it, and Hux’s position had a decisive collapse.

You responded to his orders and still respected the man, but his authority was less than that of Pryde and Kylo Ren. So when Ren gave you orders, those overtook those of your General.

“Of course, general. You are still a great leader.” Adulating him would have led to nothing but stability in the mind of man.

There were heavy moments between you but you continued your advance without problems.

“Ren is blowing everything up for that scrap hunt. I can’t believe I wasted twenty years of my life just to see everything burn at the hands of a spoiled brat.” The general’s voice came out torn and whimpering. His sobbing was finally over, but it was certainly more excruciating to hear him sigh and complain.

Certainly the Supreme Leader was pursuing more of his goals than those of the Order but did it matter in the end? In the end, it all came down to the victory of Kylo Ren, consequently that of the Order would come, right?

However, you didn’t know how to reply to his words. You honestly wanted to do it.

You kept walking and Hux finally seemed to have calmed down. When you came to his room, you coughed up to get his attention.

“General, we are here.”

But the man didn’t reply.

“General?”

Nothing. You decided to take risks.

“Hux?”

But no unpleasant scream came. You just turned to wade him and there, with his face pressed against your black shoulder, the red-haired man slept like a child.

You groaned. You didn’t want to believe it.

“Sir, please. There are four corridors that divide us from the elevator…”

Inevitably, you ended up having to drag him into your room two floors down. It’s okay that it wasn’t excessively heavy, but carrying it on a piggyback ride for more than an hour had certainly not benefited your back from the grueling day.

Tired and irritated, you threw him on your bed. Your room, being of a simple sergeant, was not very large.

It consisted of a bedroom and a bathroom, and the room was already full only with the presence of the closet where you placed the uniforms and the bed on the corner, near the bath door.

Hux moaned and slowly opened his eyes just as you lifted your helmet and put it back in the closet.

“This bed is as hard as the floor of the Finalizer…”

You weren’t curious about how he knew what it was like to lie on the deck of their former flagship.

“I know, General. They are my humble rooms after all.” Finally your voice rang out without the horrible background that the nice stormtrooper helmet gave.

He snapped his head in your direction and rolled his eyes, but not moving from the fetal position he had acquired.

“You are a woman, sergeant.”

You opened your mouth like a fish out of the water and you looked at him confused. What exactly had he been thinking all that time?

“Er, I think so, sir.” You looked at your breasts under the armor and you were sure that nothing dangled between your legs. Had he confused you for a male because of the armor?

He nodded, as if to confirm the fact, and dropped the head he had raised on your pillow again. You wondered if he would leave his scent on the sheets…

“Are you feeling better, sir?”

He didn’t seem exactly returned to himself, but trying to make him come to life ahead of time and give you a good night’s rest had prevailed on the probable sense of guilt that would have occurred later if the man had lost himself in the ship. “Maybe one night on your comfortable bed will help you.”

“I still have a headache.” His water-green eyes narrowed, as if he were judging you without hiding anything. “Are you kicking me out, Sergeant?”

You whitened when you felt clear hatred in his voice.

“I- No, general. But I don’t have many comforts to offer you…” you looked around, highlighting the obvious. Where were you supposed to sleep? On the bathroom floor?

Hux continued to look at you but his eyes had softened again, as if he had just focused on something else much more pleasant. You watched him motionless from your position as he ran his bare palm against the clean white sheets of your bed.

You moved your head in all directions, looking for where he had thrown away the gloves, which he had until a few seconds before, and hoped that they had not slipped between the bed and the keyboard. It would have been difficult to recover them, just in case.

“The First Order should no longer offer me anything, Sergeant…”

You didn’t know how to respond to that self-pity. He was clearly unstable and surely didn’t mean half the things he said. But maybe helping him to realize it wasn’t a bad idea.

“You don’t really think so, sir. You have done a lot in the service of the Order, everyone realizes it. I respect you a lot and even the teams I deal with follow your orders with dedication.”

You turned to pick up the helmet and place it on your head. You felt vulnerable without it while approaching your supervisor.

“Don’t do it.”

You got stuck in the middle, with the object in your hands raised right above your head.

“Take off your armor, Sergeant.” There wasn’t much authority in his voice, it sounded very much like a joke that made your skin crawl.

“Um… sir, you’re probably still slightly tipsy… I don’t think it’s by the rules-!”

“You may be right, Sergeant.” He pointed a sardonic and evil smile. “Or not and you are contesting a direct order from your general.” He stood up on his elbows to better observe your reactions.

You had often heard of officers taking advantage of subordinates, in the most disgusting and treacherous ways. But you never would have believed that Hux was that kind of superior.

However, you would have preferred reconditioning rather than lowering yourself to that level.

“You are my general but I will not execute an overpower order.”

You thought he would scream at you like he did with others or hiss threateningly to literally hang you alive but he grinned amused, stretching himself against what continued to be YOUR bed.

“But mine is an order purely for the good of the community, of course. Now, take off your armor, Sergeant.”

You closed your eyes. How much did you struggle to get there? Could the general really report you and punish you without evidence?

With a flash of genius, you raised the helmet slightly in your hands, letting a finger slide under the neck joint and pressing the button for the recorded radiovision.

The helmet was equipped with an excellent video recorder which was very useful after the missions on unknown planets, you could also have used it for your own safety for once.

“Allright, general. As you commands.”

Place the helmet in the upper door in the closet, with the visor facing you and with a lump in your throat, you began to remove piece by piece the white and hard components of your armor.

You felt the general’s gaze on you but you tried not to be intimidated.

Once you took off your boots, your bare feet touched the cold floor of the room. You decided not to continue further, he would surely have asked you later in case, and you remained in your tight black suit that covered from your neck to ankles. The elastic and resistant material prevented the corners of your protection from pushing and scratching the flesh and it was also a fabric that allowed you soldiers to face lower or higher temperatures.

Hux looked at you from below and with a bored movement of his hand he suggested that you approach him but when you didn’t, he gave voice to his movements.

“Come closer, Sergeant.”

And as ordered, you stepped up to touch the mattress with your knees.

You remained motionless. He completely at ease lying in front of you and you definitely uncomfortable while you found him staring insistently at your thighs.

Then, without warning, he reached out and touched the muscle of your right thigh for a few seconds. You blushed on contact and you looked up at any point in the room.

His hand moved lower, reaching the calves, that at the contact you had stretched until the spasm and remained there for what seemed like hours.

You clenched your teeth, ready for a new attack, but what happened made your mouth wide open like a foolish child.

“Now I understand how you managed to drag me smoothly up to here. The training of my soldiers is still excellent.”

You blinked, as if you didn’t believe the general’s observation.

A smile escaped you and then an evident amused puff. So he wasn’t trying to touch you in any of the ways you saw flashing in your mind. How stupid…

“Why are you laughing, Sergeant?”

The man withdrew his hand from you and placed it under the pillow, observing you curiously.

“It’s nothing, sir. I apologize for my accusation.” You ran a finger over your lips, trying to erase the raised and amused smile that remained on them.

“You have a beautiful smile, Sergeant.”

You looked him up, trying to record any trace of a lie but it wasn’t there. Words from a drunk man, though.

“Thanks, general. It’s kind of you.” You decided not to fight that compliment, albeit dictated by the glamor due to alcohol and you walked away again, to reach the dark slippers near the bathroom, and going inside.

Hux, for his part, remained to contemplate you until you were gone, leaving him alone. He still felt dizzy and when he lifted his head from the pillow the ship seemed to have taken a hard turn, causing the floor to bend under his feet.

After leaving the bathroom a few minutes later, a towel resting on your face and you approached the side of the bed. Your hair got wet a little with the heat with which you rinsed your face but you didn’t notice. Certainly yours were in better condition than the general’s red and tousled ones.

“You can stay if you wants. I will patrol the corridor. After all, this section is not as supervised as the one in your quarters.”

You were about to put on your stormtrooper suit again when Hux’s hand grabbed yours.

“Yes, sir?” You asked, looking at your joined hands.

“They have called me in many ways since I was born … the last one called me aged, skinny and pasty.”

You remembered that rumor. Many lieutenants and officers inside the room had made sure that the voice reached even the lowest ranks.

You wondered, although Hux might have been confused at the time, what reason was there in raising that speech?

But the answer was not long in coming.

“Do you think so? Do you think I’m weak?”

Weak would certainly not have been one of the adjectives you would have used on that man. You had gone through many of them, gaining your rank with effort and dedication. Imagine someone like him, who was even a bastard.

Thinking about it, you had collected a lot of rumors and information about the general over the years of service. Even on what was thought to be a probable relationship with Captain Phasma.

When he pulled his hand away from yours it was as if you realized that Hux really wanted an answer.

“General, you will probably consider my opinion only as that of a subordinate who doesn’t want to be downgraded … but I think you are one of the best generals of the First Order. You brought innovation and the whole galaxy fears or respects us. You thought about tracking down rebels in hyperspace. I think you’re definitely strong.” And you scratched your cheek, looking absently at the bathroom. “And you don’t look as old and pasty as they described you. Maybe thin but you’re a handsome man, general.”

You weren’t sure why you added the last comment. Not that it was required.

But seeing those eyes constantly filled with hardness soften and a calm smile appear on his lips was certainly worth it.

“First you take me to your rooms and then try to seduce me with compliments, Sergeant?” He jokes, trying to stagger to go straight again. He had had his moment to let go and blame alcohol but he had to preserve the little respect you had for him.

“Do I look like the type of soldier who sells herself for a promotion?” You laughed, finally at ease with that man who sat up with his legs out of bed. Hux took a fleeting glance at the closet behind you and then looked back at you.

“Of course not, but I didn’t even suggest it.” He put his hands on his lap, making his finger touch each other. “I don’t think I’ll get more similar comments in the future.”

You took a step back. It didn’t seem right to you to look at him from such a high height.

“I’m sorry, sergeant. I must have made you uncomfortable. I was just kidding.” He said after a short pause where you hadn’t mentioned adding a half word.

You saw him get to his feet but he put his hand almost immediately on the wall to support himself as best he could. His legs were trembling under him and if you hadn’t intervened to support him, he would most likely have fallen to the ground.

“Sorry again.” He stammered, clinging to your forearms, now free of armor and marveled at when you was soft. The leg muscles were much tighter before.

“Am I allowed to lift you up again and take you to your apartment, general?” It might have seemed like a joke but it really sounded like a service you were offering him.

“Would you do that?” He asked immediately, amazed.

“I would do this and more for you, General.”

Initially you didn’t realize how badly others could interpret it but you had no reason to worry about it. It was just the two of you and the general wouldn’t have understood it in a way other than total duty.

So you thought. Until his lips rested grossly on yours and his hands tightened on your shoulders.

You had certainly had your experiences. Physical contact was necessary to keep the nerves in the missions. The First Order didn’t need hormonal kids to fight their battles.

Yet that kiss was sloppy and you asked yourself if it was due to the general’s condition or to your suddenly being immobilized like a rock.

Hux, not hearing you correspond, immediately pulled back and you saw a man destroyed before your eyes. With that hair that had taken directions at random, ending up on his forehead and that look full of fear and affliction, you no longer recognized what you had learned to fear.

What had they really done to this man who was so desperate for contact?

“General-”

“I need this, sergeant. I need to be touched by someone who has no intention of killing me.” He was serious as he spoke and could really look professional if it weren’t for the fact that he was holding on to you so as not to end up on the ground. “But I have no intention of forcing you into anything.”

For some damn reason you didn’t feel like refusing it, right there on your feet. But you weren’t even bold enough to say you were doing it out of pity.

The general was a beautiful man, you hadn’t lied, and you were certainly wondering what it would have been like to have him under you. But it still seemed all too wrong.

“My name is Y / N. Sergeant Y / N.”

“Y / N. It’s a beautiful name.” He agreed, charming.

And it was enough as he said it to convince you completely.

You got up just enough to touch his lips with yours again and gently pushed him back making him collide the back of the knees against the mattress.

He dropped onto it, dragging you behind him until you were forced to straddle his figure, continuing to explore his mouth.

Well, now you were sure he had ingested a lot of alcohol and you could taste Lotharian wine on his tongue. How had he not felt it in the coffee he always drank you couldn’t understand…

The General’s hands in the meantime had reached the closure of the suit at the base of the back of the neck and dragged it down with a slowness that, you were aware, was intentional.

On the way, the tip of his cold fingers touched your skin kept warm by the fabric and moaned against his lips, making him grin with satisfaction.

“General, do I have permission to undress you?” You pulled back, trying to free him from the uniform jacket but that placed a thumb on your lips.

“It’s Armitage here.” He muttered silently. “Permission granted, Y / N. You are allowed to do anything.”

You moved your head to the side, so that your thumb moved away from your lips and you ventured a smile. Surely your name with his voice was one of the most beautiful things you would have ever heard.

You ran your hand along his chest, spacing the material of the coat in the process and when you came to the metal belt it was enough to touch it to make it fall with the rest.

His skin was clear and smooth and perfect in your opinion. He didn’t have muscles as evident as your former partners, but it was certainly a relief to find something new.

After all, Armitage had to be unique in some way.

You leaned over to kiss his shoulder and looked at him seriously.

“Are you having trouble leaving control to someone else, Armitage?”

He was still slightly stunned by his name dancing on your lips but he shook his head.

“Is that what you want to do? Take control?” A mischievous expression took possession of his features, making you relax while gently squeezing his shoulders.

Instead of deigning it with a vocal response, let yourself be clarified with your intentions. You slowly accompanied him down, again with his back against the mattress and your thighs still covered touched the general’s hips, making him hold a sigh.

The hand he had placed behind your back fell to your side and twisted into the mattress covers. While yours wandered from the belly to the chest, making small curious circles with the nails.

His eyes were still wide and watched everything, alert and all too quivering.

You advanced towards his face, stopping to touch a throbbing vein on the neck but soon replaced your fingers with your lips.

You touched the neck like a petal that rests on the surface of the water and when he didn’t react, you became more enterprising.

You massaged his chest with a full palm and you clearly felt him shiver when in addition to your lips, your tongue was added to pamper him.

You gave wet kisses along the length of his neck until you reached the back of his ears.

“Can I continue, Armitage?”

Hux watched you rise again, your face hanging over his, as if waiting for yet another authorization to proceed.

“Don’t you dare quit, Y / N.”

You raised your right hand and brought it close to his face, skirting his lips with a thumb.

There was nothing else to say, you just had to show him that you had no intention of hurting him. Because it was what he was looking for, kindness. And that’s what you would have given him all night.

When you woke up the next morning, the general’s red hair spread out on the pillow and his neck full of love bites was the first thing your eyes recorded.

You stood up with all possible delicacy. It was clear that the general’s full awareness had returned already at the time of your sexual intercourse, but you wanted to avoid the embarrassing post-sex moment of solidarity.

You went to look for a new clean suit on the lower floors of the wardrobe and your gaze was captured by the intermittent light on your helmet.

You whitened. You had kept the camera on all night without realizing it. Had it taken something in the end?

“Good morning, Sergeant.”

A frightened squeak sounded on your lips, forcing you to quickly stop the production of the video and you turned rigid and composed as if you had been called to report. Completely naked.

Hux chuckled, his head still resting on the pillow but his open and evil eyes staring at you.

“Relax, Y / N. I’m still naked in your bed.”

Not realizing that you had taken the position, you loosened your shoulders and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I have to proceed with the training and supervision of the recruits.” You bowed your head slightly out of respect and then went back to find your suit. You listened to the unmistakable noise of the mattress going down and up, notifying you that the general must have just got up.

Quickly put your legs up, lifting the tight material up over your waist and then you searched for the sleeves. The zipper was never difficult to achieve given the elastic material but before you could do it yourself, another pair of hands first reached the tongue.

Hux pulled the zipper up until the dress was completely closed and let his hand slide along the passage he had just completed.

“Are you embarrassed, Sergeant?”

You turned to look at him, a little afraid of the reaction he would have. Could he accuse you of taking advantage of his status? Did you become the attacker?

“I don’t know, General. Should I?” You asked, trying not to look down at his naked figure closely next to you. His green eyes were still soft, different from those of the general who walked the Steadfast and this raised you a little.

“I thought, after shouting my name so much last night, it had entered your head by now, Y / N.”

You blushed deeply at that allusion but before you could stammer some excuse, he lowered his face and kissed you slowly, gently, taking you by surprise.

“No, obviously not.” He said once he went straight back, answering your real question and with the usual satisfied smile on his lips. “Am I allowed to use your towels, Sergeant?”

You laughed. “Permission granted, Armitage.”

#general hux #general hux fic #armitage hux #armitage hux x reader #general hux x reader #Female reader #general hux drunk #armitage hux drunk #armitage hux x you #general hux x you #general hux needs hugs #hux x reader #hux x you #the rise of skywalker #tros #Star Wars Fic #star wars #general hux imagine #reader insert #hux is cute #stormtrooper reader #first order #steadfast #randy the intern

[knifeboner]

Caress Your Soul Ch. 1

Danny x Reader

I don’t know how to keep things in one tense I’m so sorry.

There’s gonna be smut and gross stuff later so be warned. This chapter is clean tho.

-----

You stand in front of your body length mirror in your bedroom, checking over yourself for the fourth time. It had been a long time since you had last gone on a date – you couldn’t even remember the last time. Had you even been on one before, really? You weren’t sure. You glance at the clock beside your bed and panic. It was almost time to leave. You steal one more glance at the mirror.

You wore a white dress that clung to your hips and showed off a bit more of your cleavage than you would have liked, but it was the outfit your friend Jan had picked out for you. It also happened to be the same friend who set this date up in the first place. As you were pulling the dress down, something white in the corner of your room caught your eye and you gasped, throwing your hand over your mouth and spinning around.

Oh. It was a white pleather purse your mother had given you a few years ago, of course. What else would it be. You felt like kicking yourself. With a sigh you grabbed the purse and slug it over your shoulder. Just your ever-wanting eyes playing tricks on you. Wasn’t the first time, and it more than likely won’t be the last.

The ringtone of your phone makes you jump out of your skin and you quickly pick it up. “Yeeeees Jan, what is it?” you say as you pick your black cardigan up off your bed and head to your car.

“Just checking in and making sure you’re still going! You’ll just love Randy. He’s so funny. Trust me. You’ll have an amazing time. You’re going, right?”

You roll your eyes at her gushing. You highly doubt that you will be interested in this “Randy” guy at all. You’ve learned you have a very specific taste in men and you doubt you’ll find anyone like him ever again. Your heart twisted in pain and you quickly pushed the thoughts back down.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going. If I don’t you’ll never let me live it down. Also, what the hell is with this dress? I think I’m gonna be givin’ him the wrong impression.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I bet you look hot as hell. Anyways, have fun! Tell me all about it when you get home. If you get home.”

You just about gagged. There was no way that you were fucking this dude.

You quickly walk to your car after locking your house up, pulling your cardigan closer to your body as the evening Autumn breeze scattered leaves about and tussled your hair. Once you were in your car you turned the music up and started to zone out. You didn’t pay attention to the music, you were just trying to drown out your own thoughts.

Don’t think about him.

Don’t think.

Don’t.

Of course, it was no use. Your mind jumped right to where it shouldn’t. You were madly, completely, totally in love with a man who you couldn’t have anymore. The fact that you loved him as much as you did was sick, due to what exactly he does. But you didn’t care. Love is blind.

Before you knew it you were parked in the parking lot of La Belle, the chosen restaurant by Randy. It was some overpriced, fake French cuisine joint that you never wanted to go to. He insisted it was the best place in town, apparently. Tears were streaming down your face – you hadn’t realized that you had started crying. Taking a deep breath, you reached over and took a tissue from out of your glovebox, then wiped your face. Hopefully your face wasn’t too red. Not that it mattered, you weren’t exactly trying to impress anyone.

You stepped out of your car and once again pulled your sweater tighter against yourself, an ice cold chill down your spine. The hair on the back of your neck started to raise – which was odd, because you’ve only ever experience that when…

Your heart started to race and you quickly spun around, your eyes scanning the parking lot. Could it really be?

After a moment of searching you gave up with a sigh. Again your body was being cruel to you. However you’ve never felt it this strong before. You blinked away the fresh tears that wanted to spill over and walked into the restaurant. As you did, your nose picked up a very familiar scent, one of cheap cologne. This time you ignored it, not wanting to have a full on break down in front of searching, judgmental eyes.

You spotted the man that Jan had set you up with and gave a tiny frown. He looked nothing like the photo she had sent you. He smiled when he saw you and stood up, beckoning you over.

“Hi! You must be Y/N! I’m Randy,” he beams, pulling your chair out for you. You give a small smile in return and sit down.

“Yep, that’s me.”

He sat down across from you, his brown eyes searching your face. You hoped the dim light from the candle on the table hid how red your face was.

“I ordered us a bottle of wine – hope you like reds,” he says, a lopsided grin on his face. Oh boy, he was already trying to get you drunk. Go figure. You nod and look away as his eyes travel down from your face to rest on your chest. Quickly you pick up your menu and look it over, internally gagging over the food offered here. How pretentious could a place get?

“So, Y/N, what do you do for a living?”

“Oh, I do graphic design. Don’t get out much since I’m always at home working, I also like to do photography on the side, “ you respond, toying with a lock of your hair.

“Ah, I see. Interesting, I…” you tune out his words, not really interested in what he does. You can’t help but feel a bit guilty, but again this wasn’t your idea. Your eyes flick over to a waiter walking to your table, holding a tray with a large bottle of wine resting on top of it.

Before you even knew what was happening, the waiter was falling to the floor, the bottle of wine crashing down with him. It shattered on the ground near his face and you thought for a sickening moment that some of the glass was going to slice right into the tender flesh on his face. Thankfully, he was lucky tonight, and he didn’t get a single cut.

A few people turned their heads and were watching the incident with interest shining in their eyes. Oddly enough, the man that was sitting alone at the table right next to where the waiter fell didn’t look or even flinch when it happened, nor did he offer to help the man up.

“Aw hell, I think that was our wine!” Randy fussed, peering at the scene. How did he even manage to trip like that?”

Your eyes linger on the back of the lone mans head for a moment before you tear them away.

- - -

The rest of the date after that moment went by pretty uneventful. You got another bottle of wine and the waiter had apologized pretty profusely, saying he didn’t know what happened. You got a pretty basic salad and had a few glasses of wine, but not enough to get you tipsy. Before you knew it, you were headed out of the restaurant and making your way to your car.

Randy was clinging to your elbow, who had obviously had much more to drink than you did.

“Are you positive you can drive yourself home? I’m totally sober, so I could-- I could, you know, drive you home,” he says, his hand tightening on your elbow. “Or, you could just come over to my house… I live right around here, you can lay down, or…” he murmured, drawing closer to you.

You immediately pull away and take your keys out from your purse, trying not to make a face.

“No, really, I have work to catch up on, and I’m fine to drive myself.”

Randy frowns and looks you over. “Well, my bed is, like, really comfortable. And I-”

“It’s a lot of work. I had fun, have a nice night!” you say as you jump into your car and start it before Randy can get another word in. You throw the car in reverse, and drive home.

- - -

Once you get home you jump into the shower and wash off the grime you feel you caught from Randy. You slip into your pj shorts and shirt and go back to your room, then sit on your bed, letting the tears that have been building up through the day flow freely. This had become something of a nightly ritual.

For a second time that night your phones ringtone made you have a heart attack. This time was unusual because by the time you had finished showering and getting ready for bed, it was 3AM. Who on earth would be calling at this time? The caller ID read “Unknown”.

‘Probably Jan with some new phone or tonight's lovers phone,’ you think as you hit the green button and bring the phone up to your ear. Your heart beats fast, once again hoping it was him.

“… Hello?”

#ghostface #slashers #dbd #dead by daylight #dead by daylight fic #reader x danny olsen #reader x jed olsen #jed olsen #danny olsen #ghostface x reader #reader x ghostface #dbd fanfic #it's not really taking place in dbd but it's dbds ghostie soooo #sorry this is kind of rushed maybe? i can't write well rn LOL #slasher x reader #fanfic