"My dear boy, here's no reason I couldn't help you with certain things when it comes to finances."
"Don't play with me, Father; I know you're not familiar with the concept of sugaring."
"You'd be surprised, my dear."
Crowley spluttered and tried to suppress a coughing fit.
————
Vine Slips of a Strange God.
Chapter one - A well of Living waters. ✨
Read fic here - Author @depraveddame ♥️
The first 3 pieces of Chapter one, a Good Omens Priest AU fanfic “A Vine Slips of a Strange God.”
Read Fic for more pieces or follow me here as I will be posting the finished illustrations for this wonderful piece when I get through them. ✨
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“Inseminary”
or “Lockpick to the Priesthood” or “Come Unto Me” or “Pearl Necklace of Great Price” or “Faith is Like a Little Seed”
Authentic stolen holy text, Near Clear silicone, gold pigment.
I went to the mormon church’s website, looked up their views on homosexuality, noted the scriptures they referenced, ripped them by hand out of the bible and book of mormon I stole from their chapel, and then mixed them into a silicone dildo of my own design like confetti. A dildo which will of course be used for homosexual purposes (with non-lubricated condoms and water based lube, for safety).
I’ve wanted to try dildo making for literally over a decade. I don’t have any fancy equipment like a 3D printer or a vacuum chamber, I made the sculpt by hand, and I fucked up a lot along the way, but all that being said I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish and I learned a lot. I put in more gold than I meant to, but honestly, it was meant to represent scripture’s gilded edges, and as it turned out, it looks really beautiful or quite filthy depending on the lighting, which feels entirely appropriate for scripture.
It was hard to read all of those verses. But as I tore them up I bathed them in the intention to take words that were meant to inflict queer pain wherever they go, and say “Actually, I pull those words out when I want some queer pleasure.” Build joy where they want you to have it the least.
Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”
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It is Sunday morning. I go to my local church dressed like a preacher. The actual preacher is late because I slashed his tires the night before.
No one recognizes me but I walk with so much confidence that no one stops me as I go to the pulpit. I clear my throat and begin the sermon.
“Jesus x Judas counts as doomed yuri.”
I am raptured before they have a chance to respond.
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“The Devil’s Temperature”
Authentic pilfered holy text and two weeks’ worth of forbidden, “unwise” beverages.
Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”
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IM BEGGING YOU, Knees on the floor, hands in prayer. PLEASE. MORE NSFW CHURCH BOY😭 MANS CHANGED MY LIFE
nsfw | cw : sacrilege, sexualization of sacrilege, denial, praise, sub!yandere/dominant reader
yandere church boy x gn reader! only pronoun used for reader is 'you'!
i took the words that weren't capitalized to heart with this one 🫶 this is short but best believe i'm expanding on this at a different time hehehehe
mdni!
"dear— d-dear heavenly fffather—"
abraham panted between his disjointed attempts at prayer, his hands clasped together so tightly in a desperately attempt to keep them from trembling.
"f-fffh- forgive me—! ah! oh, god..."
he had been stuck in the same loop for a solid five minutes now. he couldn't get his words out, couldn't speak, couldn't pray — not when you insisted on burying his cock in your throat with every attempt.
he peeked down at you, parked between his legs as you ran your tongue over his shaft, his eyes watery and his face scrunched up in the way it always did when this happened.
"my love, please..." he started to whine, which promptly earned a tut of disapproval from you.
pulling him out of your mouth, you gave him a mischievous little laugh.
"aww, you know the rules, abraham~" you teased, dragging your fingers down his shaft. "we're not done till you finish praying. start over."
he let out another whine, gripping the edge of his bed when he realized the mistake he made again.
this had been going on since the two of you got to his room. how could he possibly finish his prayers when you wouldn't stop making him feel so good?
he let out a weak groan as your tongue dragged up his length, his fingers running through and gripping his hair as he watched you.
"s-ssso good... oh, god, I-I can't—"
"shhh, abe. you need to pray, don't you?"
he could tell you to stop, and knew he probably should have. you'd stop if he just told you to, he knew... but you both knew that he'd rather die than do that. besides...
"go on, you can do it. you're a good boy, aren't you?"
he could never say no to your words.
he could still express his faith and experience your touch, he told himself... he just had to focus.
abraham let out another whimper as he felt you take him into your mouth again. he was thankful for your grasp on his hips — they surely would've snapped forward if you didn't hold him down.
he was going to finish his prayer, like you told him to. with a wipe of his eyes and a soft, whimpery exhale, he started again.
"d-dear heavenly father..."
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