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narryffdreaming · 1 month

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A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — ONE

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

Author's note: You have no idea how much I love these characters and how nervous I am to finally share this story again. I posted ATTTF for the first time back in 2022 but never got to finish it, so I'm hoping I'll get to do it this time! If you read this, I hope you enjoy it, and please be gentle with them! (lol)

PART ONE: 5,4k words

The sky is still dark when the Uber driver drops Aurora off at Stansted airport.

The polite man, who just kept her company for an hour and a half, wishes her a safe trip, and Aurora smiles, waving him a last goodbye and wishing him a good day right before she shuts the door of his black Toyota Prius. Once alone, a light breeze tickles her shoulders, but she doesn't give it enough time to settle as she rearranges the strap of the navy duffel bag on her shoulder and turns around, then sets her feet into motion.

Hopefully, she isn't late. She doesn't think she is. She left the house forty minutes before she needed to, and the ride to get there was shorter than expected because of the early hour, so she shouldn't be.

Still, she wants to make sure.

Just in case.

You can blame it on the fact that she hasn't spent a weekend with her friends in years. Or that it is the first time she's going out since… Well, since everything in her life turned upside down.

The strap of her bag slips from her shoulder, and Aurora catches it between her fingers. She puts it back in place and tightens her grip around the soft fabric, turning sideways to squeeze herself between a group of people that's happily chatting on the sidewalk. An apology leaves her mouth as she runs past them, but they don't seem to care nor notice they're standing in her way — or in everyone's way.

Has the Stansted airport always been this crowded?

The lights are bright outside, and the glass walls reveal how equally well-lit it is inside the terminal building. When she reaches the automatic doors, they take a moment to open, and she stops. It gives her enough time to catch a glimpse of her reflection, and her stomach quivers. Her hair is messy, the sports bag she's carrying doesn't match the maxi dress she's wearing, and she's showing off too much cleavage for a woman her age.

Those are too many things to notice in one quick glance, and she wishes she hadn't. Still, it is too early in the morning to feel insecure about the way she looks, and she doesn't have time for that. She has a flight to catch.

(Also, she really needs to pee right now.)

So she breathes in deeply and darts her eyes down, then takes her free hand up to her chest and pulls the fabric up. When she moves next, she keeps her sight fixed on the floor, then grabs the pendant of her necklace between her fingers and walks through the doors, biting the flesh inside of her cheek and fidgeting with the gold disk as her feet drag her inside the airport.

Everything feels slow and heavy. And there's a mix of nervousness and anticipation that's building up inside her. It's unsettling, but it keeps her moving, at least.

Once inside, Aurora looks up again. She turns her head to one side, then to the other, short nails never letting go of her necklace.

The wide open area in front of her leads to multiple check-in desks from several different airlines, but she ignores all of them, aiming solemnly on the huge departure boards placed around the terminal.

She doesn't have any luggage to drop, and her boarding pass is printed and ready inside her bag — and, just in case, there's also a copy of it saved on her phone — but she wants to make sure she won't be running late if she takes another five minutes for a quick run to the toilets before standing in line to get through security.

Her determination drives her forward, and she only stops walking when she's right in front of the closest monitor. She blinks a couple of times, making sense of all the information while searching for the only flight she cares about. And it only takes her a minute till she finds it:

6:45, Ryanair, Naples.

She drops her shoulders, and a yawn eases from her mouth, along with a shaky laughter.

She is fine. Everything's just fine. Desks aren't even open for check-in yet, so she has plenty of time to go to the bathroom and wake herself up. There's no need to collapse.

At some point she'll have to face the fact that she didn't sleep at all last night, but she plans to keep herself together and entertained until she's settled on her 2 hours and 45 minutes flight.

Then, she'll sleep.

Aurora turns around, and wanders her eyes to find the nearest toilets. She can't tell when was the last time she's been at Stansted Airport, but everything feels different from what she remembers. Did they go through renovations? Or has it always been big and hectic like this?

Well, it's not like Aurora is familiar with airports, anyway. She doesn't travel that much, and London has too many of them for her to get familiar with. The last time she went somewhere — anywhere — was for Noah's birthday, when she and Zack took him to Disneyland Paris for a quick celebration. They took a flight from Heathrow, though, and that place was so big that it did nothing but overwhelm her. So much that she barely remembers it.

Her chest tightens, and she closes her hand in a fist around the pendant.

A lot has changed since Noah's third birthday. In fact, everything changed because of Noah's third birthday. And things never stopped changing since then. Not even a year and a month later.

Oh God… In a couple of years she is going to be sitting on a leather couch, facing the traumatizing memories she and Zack created for him and apologizing for ruining his childhood.

She knows she will. She can see it happening.

A man bumps into her, and Aurora stumbles forward. She looks over her shoulder and apologizes, but he isn't around to listen anymore. Sighing, she lets go of her necklace and shifts her bag from one shoulder to the other, holding the strap to keep it firmly in place.

What was she even—Oh, toilets!

Right!

She shakes her head.

It takes her another minute until she sees some directions that will help her get there, and then she's walking again.

The toilets she's heading to are placed in a much quieter area, where even the lights are dim. Only a few people are there, seemingly waiting for time to pass — some occupying themselves with their phones on the chairs, but most of them laying on the floor, sleeping next to their luggage or using their backpacks as pillows. A baby cries somewhere distant in the terminal, and there's some coughing coming from a corner behind her, but besides that, everything's quiet.

She reaches the door at the exact moment a lady is walking out, and she almost bumps into her. They exchange polite smiles, and Aurora takes a step aside to make room for her to walk by. Once the lady is off her way, Aurora moves inside, then lets the door shut behind her, and everything goes silent.

The room is bright again, and someone must've just cleaned the place, because the smell of disinfectant is fresh and strong.

Aurora sighs. She heads to the last stall, walking past a row of other six on her way there.

After relieving herself, she stops by the sinks and washes her hands, taking the opportunity to look around her. And mostly to look at her.

The mirrors are big, almost covering the entire green wall between the sink and the ceiling, from side to side. To be fair, staring at her reflection doesn't sound like a good idea, but she promised she would try her best to go into the weekend with a positive mindset, and she can't do that while feeling so insecure about herself.

She lets the duffel bag slide down her arm and places it between her legs, then crouches to find her washcloth inside it. Holding the soft fabric between her fingers, she closes the zipper and stands up again.

Public toilets aren't the ideal places for skincare routines, but she's determined to do the best of whatever she can get. She places the washcloth on her shoulder and grabs the hair tie from her wrist, pulling her locks into a bun and getting them out of her way. Hunching down, she turns the tap on and puts her hands together, filling them with water before splashing it on her face. The coldness makes her wince, but it also makes her shoulders relax, and she pulls her lips into a timid smile.

She repeats the same process three times before grabbing the washcloth again and placing it against her skin. She doesn't rub it, but instead lets the fabric soak in the dampness. Finally putting her hands down, she looks at her reflection in the mirror, and bites the insides of her cheek. Her face looks more alive now that she's freshened up, but the rest of her body doesn't feel the same.

When she'd put that maxi dress on, an hour before leaving her house, she didn't think she would end up regretting the outfit. It's been probably a decade since the last time she's put it on, sure, but it used to be one of her favorites, and she always went for it when she didn't know what to wear. She used to consider it her safe choice.

And yet, wearing it now feels everything but safe.

It also doesn't feel nearly as comfortable as it used to. Maybe it's because of the straps… She never wears sleeveless outfits anymore, let alone something that's held by such a thin string of fabric. And the V neck… Oh God. How did she walk around London showing off her chest so comfortably? How did she go to class not bothering about people being able to see the curve of her breasts?

Even its color shade looks weird now, and she's not sure she enjoys how that rust red looks on her anymore. Her body hasn't seen the sun in a really long time, and her skin doesn't look very appealing — it's dry, and filled with stretch marks.

Honestly, the full length and loose fit are the only things she can still appreciate from the dress — although around her waist it doesn't feel as loose as it used to feel before.

Shit. Did she even pack one thing that's going to make her feel good about herself in Italy?

No, of course she didn't. Because Madison was the one who helped her pack for the weekend, so of course all of her choices included the tiniest, brightest and most provocative outfits that were hidden and forgotten inside of her closet since… Well, basically since Aurora stopped being single, to be honest.

"You need to loosen up," she'd said. Along with "you're divorced, not dead," and "your tits need to see the sun; they are gorgeous, they deserve it".

Alone inside the restroom, Aurora rolls her eyes at the memory of her best friend's words. Obviously, the whole chit-chat did nothing to convince her. Most of the old clothes Maddie had found hadn't seen the light of day in almost a decade, and Aurora doesn't have the same body she used to have back then to simply put them on again.

Not to mention she doesn't want Noah to ever see her wearing any of those outfits. It's not the image of a mother she wants him to remember. And she's been already messing up so many things for him, that she doesn't need to add "being an embarrassing mom" to the list — and she won't add an accusation of excessively exposing her son to his own mother's naked body in those future therapy sessions she already knows she'll be paying for.

Call it damage control, if you want to. After all, that's how she's facing it herself.

But then Maddie had put her hands on her shoulders, stared deeply into her eyes, and said: "it's going to be us. Just us. It's the perfect and safest place to have some fun and try out of your comfort zone. And you and I both know how much you need it right now." And Aurora couldn't fight her on that, so she said yes and agreed to put all of her jeans and t-shirts away for the weekend — which she can now confirm was a terrible, terrible decision.

She sighs. Again.

It's going to be a long weekend, isn't it?

Still examining herself, she turns around and looks over her shoulder, facing her back on the mirror. Fortunately, it doesn't show too much skin, although the flesh of her armpits could be more covered.

There was a time when Aurora felt breezy and comfortable on her own body. When she looked at herself and felt beautiful and free. Even sexy. Now, though, the simple thought makes her laugh. It sounds ridiculous, and she can't even make sense of it.

Biting her lip, she turns around one more time, and something catches her eye. She stops midway, narrowing her eyes to find out what it is, and then, she raises her eyebrows, and a spark of hope ignites inside her — she completely forgot about the adjustable straps!

Fully turning around, she squats down and puts the washcloth away, then stands up, already reaching both hands towards her back to tighten and shorten the strings. It isn't easy, and for a moment she even considers to hide inside of a stool and take the dress off to do it more comfortably, but eventually she succeeds, and the slight change instantly makes her chest feel more covered.

It's a small win, but Aurora is serious about making the best of whatever she can get that weekend, so she takes it, and smiles at her reflection.

The gold disk shines on her chest, and she takes it between her fingers, pulling it to her mouth and placing a soft kiss to it. She's really going to miss spending the weekend with Noah, but she knows she needs to take care of herself to be able to take care of him, and that it's also important for him to spend some time with his dad. Besides, it's only going to be three days — not even that. By Sunday afternoon she'll be back home with him, and everything will go back to normal.

Yes, see? That's it: two days.

Two relaxing and fun days with her friends, and then everything will go back to normal.

The line to get through security is huge.

Aurora stops behind a chatty and cheerful family of five, and sighs. She puts her frizzy hair down, then crosses her arms under her chest and lifts one hand to fidget aimlessly with her pendant.

Honestly? She can't wait to get to Italy. She can't wait to finally see that beautiful ocean in the Amalfi Coast. It's a trip she always dreamed about, but also one she didn't think would actually happen — and one she's sure she wouldn't be actually embarking on if she hadn't been forced to by her friends.

Aurora's mouth turns into a smile, and she looks at the ground, taking the pendant to cover her lips.

Despite everything that went wrong with her own marriage, she is happy for Lucy and Theo. She truly is. Just because things didn't work out for her, it doesn't mean they won't for them. Besides, their relationship is the only thing between all of them that hasn't changed since their graduation, so who knows? Maybe they'll have better luck than her and Zack. Maybe Lucy won't mess things up like she did, and maybe Theo won't—

"Auri?" a deep and low voice calls. Aurora furrows her brows and takes her hand down from her lips, putting her necklace back to its place. "Aurora?"

She turns on her feet, finding flamingos on a loose black shirt. Blinking a couple of times, she darts her eyes up, and meets the face of a friend she hasn't thought of in a really long time.

She widens her eyes, and places the palm of her hand on her cheek.

"Oh my God," she whispers. She raises her eyebrows, and her mouth curves into a smile at the same time it falls open. "Harry!"

She breathes out a laugh and takes a step forward, then stands on her tiptoes and throws her arms around his neck.

The duffel bag on her shoulder follows the movement of her body, hitting Harry's stomach before she can stop it.

"Ouch," he groans into her ear.

Aurora pulls away. "Sorry, sorry—"

He chuckles, hunching down slightly and placing his hands in the middle of her back.

"'S okay, c'mere," he says, pulling her body closer and crossing his arms around her waist, embracing her into a tight hug.

Heat takes over her body, radiating through her chest and tingling from head to toe. It's so good to see him! She can't help the smile that lightens up her face, so she closes her eyes and rests her chin on his shoulder, circling his neck with the same affection he's putting into his hold.

"What are you doing here?!" she asks, still too excited to let him go.

Did he get even taller?

Or is he just stronger than he used to be?

"Probably the same thing as you?" Harry chuckles.

Shit. She's so stupid! Of course Harry would be at Lucy and Theo's party. Of course! After all, he was part of the group, too. Sure, maybe the last to join and the youngest of them all, and also the only one living across the world, but still… He was—he is part of the group. And Lucy and Theo would invite him, too. Of course they would. How didn't she think of him when thinking about the weekend?

"Don't wanna break the moment," Harry murmurs, rubbing his hand up and down her back, "but I think we gotta walk."

Aurora jumps away, holding her weight on his shoulder and twisting her neck to see the line ahead of her. She slides her fingers down, watching as the family of five gathers their things. They aren't rushing, though, and it doesn't seem like they'll be taking more than two steps forward.

Still smiling, she bites her bottom lip to keep her excitement down, then looks back at him.

Harry is standing with his arms loose on each side of his body, chin down while he stares down at his chest.

Following his sight, Aurora finds her own hand, and she widens her eyes. She's clutching at the second button, where both sides of his black shirt with pink flamingos meet. His hairy chest is on display, just like tiny bits of black ink tattooed on his skin and the long golden string of a necklace.

A rush runs through her fingers, and she withdraws her arm.

"Sorry," she whispers, pulling her hand to her own chest and squeezing it into a fist.

Harry clears his throat.

"'S okay," he murmurs. Without looking at her, he straightens his back and stretches an arm, pointing out to the empty space in front of them. "Shall we?"

Aurora moves quickly, shuffling on her feet and nodding in silence. She turns around, and the strap of her bag falls from her shoulder, dropping to the crook of her arm. She winces, and stumbles a little.

"Shit."

"Here," Harry says, and the weight on her elbow disappears. "Let me."

Frozen, she watches — and feels — the way he gently grabs her wrist and takes her bag out of her arm, pulling it to himself.

"Harry…" She drops her shoulders. "You don't have to."

"Just walk, c'mon. We're holding the line."

Aurora peeks over his shoulder, and certainly people don't seem friendly while watching them. She sighs, but turns around and walks.

It only takes them three steps to reach the family of five once again, though, and she's back to facing him.

Harry is rearranging the straps on his shoulders, holding two duffel bags now — his own, and hers.

"Okay," she says, stretching her arm to him, "now give me that."

He chuckles, and dodges her. "Nope."

"C'mon!" She rolls her eyes, but a smile dances on her lips. "I can carry my own bag, okay?"

Harry shrugs. "Never said you couldn't."

She sighs, and tilts her head. "Harry…"

"Will you stop being stubborn?"

Harry grins widely, contrasting his words, and his eyes brighten with amusement.

Aurora lifts her brows and parts her lips. A shaky chuckle coming out of her mouth. "I—Excuse me?"

Harry diverts his eyes somewhere behind her, and he tilts his chin up.

"C'mon, we gotta walk again."

Lifting her left eyebrow, Aurora crosses her arms, and stares silently at him.

Harry glances back at her, then presses his lips together, watching her for a moment as he wanders his eyes around her face. He purses his mouth, and then he cracks into soft, genuine laughter.

"Ha!" He throws his head back for a moment, chuckling lightly, then looks back at her. "I totally forgot you could do that."

Aurora's beaming, just like him, but her heart is racing, and her breath gets stuck in her throat. His smile is really contagious, framed by deep dimples on his cheeks and wrinkles all around his eyes. It's hard not to feel mesmerized by it.

"Uh…" She blinks a couple of times. "Do what, exactly?"

He walks, prompting her to walk along with him. Still smiling, he points a finger up, right to her face. "The thing… Y'know. With your eyebrow."

"Oh…" Aurora widens her eyes for a second. "Right."

She laughs and shakes her head, relaxing the muscles of her entire body, including her face.

She takes one hand to her forehead, and rubs the tip of her middle finger on her left eyebrow. Even though it's something she used to intentionally do pretty often when she was younger, usually to prove a point, it was also something that came up so naturally to her that she never paid too much attention to it. And a habit that, with time, she left behind. However, now that she found out Noah thinks it's super cool that his mom can lift only one eyebrow while most people can't, she's been consciously doing it more often. She never cared about being a cool mom, to be honest, but lately it seems the title started to mean something to her.

They stop walking, much closer to the metal detectors now, and Aurora stretches her arm again. She doesn't say a word, simply reaching for the strap of her bag on his shoulder.

"Auri..." Harry chuckles. He grabs her wrist between his fingers, then slides his touch to her hand, taking it to his mouth. He places a single kiss on her knuckles, and looks at her. "Please, 's nothing. I promise."

Aurora presses her lips together tightly, words getting stuck on her throat. It only lasted a second, but it was enough to keep the warmth of his lips lingering onto her cold skin.

"Okay." She nods. Her voice is softer, and she looks down to smile. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he says, taking her hand down and gently letting it go. "Did you bring a jacket?"

Raising her head, Aurora narrows her eyes, and meets his stare. "What?"

"Your hand's really cold." He shrugs. "Do you want my jacket?"

Aurora chuckles, and waves him off. "Oh no, I'm fine. My hands are always cold."

Harry pulls his brows together. He opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shuts it again.

"Anyway…" She clears her throat. "How are you? We haven't talked in… I don't know… Five? Six years?"

Harry looks down and nods, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Around that, yeah."

"Hmm… Well, I had no idea you were back in the UK!"

"Uh, yeah." He shifts on his feet, and shrugs. "Came back a couple of weeks ago, actually. Haven't seen anyone yet."

Taking one hand out of his pockets, he lifts his arm and scratches his jaw. The movement draws Aurora's attention to the facial hair he seems to be growing, but also to his chipped yellow nail polish and the three rings he's carrying on his fingers. And when he rakes the same hand through his curls, pulling his hair away from his face, she notices the amount of new tattoos covering his slightly tanned skin.

His movements are subtle, almost timid, but Aurora is hypnotized. She hasn't seen him since… Damn, when was the last time she saw him? He was at her wedding, she remembers that, because she remembers the floral-printed suit he was wearing, and that his hair used to be longer than—

Aurora gasps, and Harry jolts.

"What?"

"Your hair!" Uncrossing her arms, she takes a step forward. She stands on her tiptoes and reaches for his head, touching the tips of his short curls while switching her voice to a soft murmur, "It's so… Short."

Harry shoves his hand back inside his pocket, but doesn't say anything, and Aurora entertains herself stroking the hair at the back of his neck, and then pulling some longer bits around his ears.

"Oh my God…" she murmurs again.

For as long as she's known Harry, she's known him with curls long enough to french braid, pull into buns and even attempt some ponytails — he hated the last ones, by the way. The girls used to tease him for having softer and shiner hair than any of them, and they all even went through a phase of trying to use the same hair products as him.

And yet, looking at him now, she's not sure if there's length enough for even a hair clip. Well, maybe a tiny one, to keep those curls that fall into his forehead out of the way… But still…

"The line," Harry murmurs.

Aurora pulls her arm to her chest, and lands her heels back on the floor.

"Right."

She turns around and takes a couple of steps forward, and an unsettling feeling grows in the pit of her stomach. It squeezes her lungs, and it makes her mouth go dry, so she presses her lips into a hard line and swallows. Then, she takes a deep breath in. And another one.

There's silence between them, until Harry clears his throat.

"I cut it as soon as I left," he explains, and Aurora glances at him over her shoulder. "I think this is the longest it's been since then." He shrugs. "I'll probably do something about it next week."

Aurora hums, and curls one side of her mouth up.

"You got a lot of new tattoos, as well."

Harry smiles, albeit sheepishly, and nods once. "Guess I did."

Facing away from him, Aurora can't help but smile again.

What a weird thing it is, to stand in front of Harry after so many years and find everything about him so familiar, yet completely different and strange at the same time. To have grown so distant from his friendship, and yet feel as close to him as she's ever felt before.

How could she forget about him?

How could she go through life without thinking about a friend? Without wondering about how they are, or what's going on with their lives?

Shit.

Tapping one foot on the floor, she grabs her necklace between her fingers.

She can't spiral into this right now. She hates coming face to face with the person she's become, and this weekend isn't for her to swell into guilt and drama. She's supposed to have fun. She's supposed to let things go. She's supposed to—

"Auri?"

Aurora stops the steady movement of her foot, and looks at him over her shoulder. "Yeah?"

Someone from security calls the next passenger, and she follows Harry's movements to walk forward, not even bothering to look where she's going.

"Nothing." Harry shakes his head, dismissing the subject, but Aurora can see the way his brain is working hard to figure something out. Noah tends to do the same a lot of the time — he'll have questions, and when he doesn't understand the answer, he'll purse his lips and shift his eyes around him, as if looking for a different explanation.

It appears Harry is going through the same process, because he keeps staring at her arms, and at her hands. And when he pinches at his bottom lip — something she recognizes as an old habit of his — it's enough for her to confirm her suspicion.

"Harry…" She chuckles and rolls her eyes, making sure to keep her voice soft as she calls him out. "Don't be silly. Just say what's on your mind, c'mon."

An amused and short laugh leaves his chest, and she smiles at the way his entire face lights up again.

"'S nothing… I was just… Because you… I mean, you don't seem to be taking a lot of stuff… Then I realized you… Well… I was wondering…"

There's a bit of silence, and it quickly becomes clear he won't complete any of his half-sentences.

Aurora half-smiles. "Yes?"

"Sorry." He shakes his head. "Is your husband coming, too?"

"Oh…" She lifts her brows, then puts them down again.

She nods once, understanding where he's coming from. It is a genuine question, a very reasonable doubt. After all, the last time they saw each other was at the wedding — her wedding — and not many people know about the many changes in her life since then. So she can't expect him to know, nor blame him for asking.

She doesn't want to say the words out loud, though. Is there a way to tell him without actually telling him?

"Hm, no," she tries. "It's just me. Zack's with Noah."

Harry hums. He gives her a lopsided smile, and nods.

Aurora frowns, and turns around to face the line.

That probably wasn't helpful. It didn't announce Zack isn't in her life anymore. It just seemed like he stayed home with Noah.

Which he did, yes, but he isn't at home with Noah. He is at his own place, a very fancy apartment he didn't struggle at all to buy after their divorce.

Ugh! Why is it so hard for her to announce to the world that Zack isn't her husband anymore? He hasn't been for a while now, and it's not like she wishes he would still be. Honestly, figuring out her relationship with Zack keeps being exhausting, no matter how much distance she puts between them.

Will that ever change? Will things ever get easier for her?

"How's he, by the way?" Harry's voice sounds behind her. "Noah, I mean. Just turned four, right?"

Aurora bites her lip, but it isn't enough to hold back the grin on her face.

People move forward, and they walk a couple of steps. There are only three passengers left in front of the family of five.

Aurora nods.

"Yes, he's four now. And he's the most adorable kid in the world! So, so, so sensitive, and so smart" —she walks forward again, but doesn't stop talking— "and now he's getting into this stage of trying to do things by himself, and it's just so endearing to watch! And he's really chatty, too, oh my. He loves telling stories, so he keeps—"

Aurora widens her eyes, and turns around.

Harry is beaming at her, and she covers her mouth with one hand.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles against her palm, then puts it back down. "Sorry, sorry. I'm so—I mean, I know, I'm one of those mums now."

"What?!" Harry laughs. "I was loving it! Was even hoping you'd show me a couple of pictures."

Her cheeks warm up, and she looks at her feet.

"Right."

Her hair falls to her face, and she takes both hands to put it behind her ears.

Please, don't blush.

Please just keep it together.

"Hey, I mean it." He places one hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. His hand is warm, but his rings are cold and her skin tingles with goosebumps. Shit. Now, her earlier prayer becomes a silent cry of help for him not to notice her reaction. "He sounds a lot like you, by the way."

Her lips twitch, and she bites her bottom lip to hold back the stupid smile that keeps looming on her face.

"Well… Would you really like to see some pictures? 'Cause I have plenty of them."

Peeking up at him, she finds him staring and smiling. Harry's hand is still on her shoulder, but it promptly circles her neck, grabbing her opposite side and pulling her forward.

Aurora holds her breath, crushing against Harry's chest as he squeezes her body and kisses the top of her head.

"God," he groans, his lips brushing her hair as they move, "you're so adorable. 'S so good to see you again."

Hii! If you're here, thank you so much for reading part one :) it truly means the world to me! I care a lot about this story and these characters, so I'd love to know your thoughts about it — and I hope you'll feel comfortable to share them with me!

Once again, thank you for reading! :)

Dani

PART TWO

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles au #harry styles writing

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adventuringblind · 3 months

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Monsters in my Mind

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sometimes those thoughts won't leave, the ones you don't want... The ones that can be dangerous. All it takes is one person to help make them go away.

Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, referenced/implied self-harm, violent thoughts, impulsive behaviors, panic attacks, non-sexual dominance as a form of coping, dom/sub undertones

Notes: My thoughts are self stabby as of late. Pardon me as I write this for myself to keep my head and hands busy.

Side Note: Consider feeding my praise kink maybe...?

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The head is a strange place. One's conscious is usually meant to help them make the right decisions and not engage in acts that could hurt them or others. Her head, however, is the opposite of that.

It's a dark twisted place where thoughts that aren't her own find refuge. They want to bathe her in the ecstasy of things that shouldn't feel good. daydreams about things that could repulse any typical human being.

Sometimes they are so strong and her bodies reactions are so out of control, that she has to find relief somewhere. The knife against her skin takes the edge off. Is it normal to moan at the sting and feel satisfied looking at her red stained thighs? She does, until the realization settles in and the guilt won't let her think.

The thoughts laugh at her for giving in so easily. They scrutinize the fact she gets off on the pain.

She walks around in fear of herself. The anxiety and exhaustion from constantly fighting herself are visible on her body. She's tired, and everyone knows it. It's why they don't come near her. Always to caught up in her own head to realize people are trying converse.

It's not like her job requires to much discussion with people. Puzzles keep her brain busy and Ferrari keeps her busy with all the strategy mishaps they throw at her. They throw her a problem, she solves it, plans for next time, and they fuck it up again by not using the solution.

Sometimes she thinks about throwing herself in front of an F1 car going full speed. That voice in her head screams at her anytime she's close to the live track.

Then there is Max. His voice sends the thoughts running and it makes her want to cling to him. She wants him to never stop talking about anything and everything.

Today had been particularly difficult with the of the driver switch coming at the end of the season. Carlos and Charles are the first drivers she's worked with and they all got along great. She doesn't want it to change. That means more unknowns.

The wind graces her cheeks and kisses her finger tips as she sits on the balcony of their apartment. Everything is to much right now and her thoughts won't quiet.

She was in Maranello when the news came out. Her head became so loud with the fear of change and worry for her friend. Enough to be sent home for the day - alone, and nothing to help her head aside from the burning desire to just end it all.

Max had made arraignments for her to spend some time with him in the Milton-Keynes. She was still alone for periods of time. Enough to have to settle herself somehow.

The color red makes something in her relax. Specifically when it's flowing out of her own body.

Now Max is with her and she's stuck in her own head. The never ending maze of twisted thoughts keeps her from moving. The fear of giving in has been looming over her head for longer then normal. It feels like she's losing something, always has been with this team, but change feels far worse then staying with them.

Max hasn't pushed her to do much aside from at least stay in his presence. Occasionally attempting to get her out of her own head with movies and games. He's even spent hours at a time just talking to her about anything and everything.

He opens the door to the balcony, but she doesn't look at him. Not until he holds his hand out for her to take. An action she does without hesitation. No thoughts are needed for this, just following Max's lead.

He leads her over to the couch and arranges them so she can sit tucked into his lap. A grounding hand runs up and down the lenght of her spine. "I've been doing some research about how we might be able to get your head to quiet down."

"I'll do anything, jus' want it to stop." Her voice sounds dry and cracked from how hard she's screamed and cried through the last few days.

"Do you trust me?"

"More then I trust anyone."

She finds herself slipping off the couch and onto her knees, in-between Max's legs with her head resting against his thigh. His touch doesn't leave her skin. "You're doing so good for me. Listen to my voice and focus on taking big breathes for me. Can you do that for me?"

She hums in response. The continual stroke of Max's fingers against her face and sound of his voice already helping immensely.

"That's it, just breathe for me. I've got you; you don't have to fight the thoughts alone. I'm right here with you, keeping them away, never leaving your side." Max grabs one of her hands with his free one. her fingers lay between his. Her favorite puzzle with how easy the pieces fit together.

"You're here with me; I've got you. Those scary thoughts aren't your own. The are unwanted and uninvited, but most importantly, they don't define you. You are brave, loved, beautiful without gaping wounds. You're not crazy or psychotic. You are yourself, with your highs and your lows."

Her body has never felt like this. Her entire being wants to give itself over to Max. His breathes guiding her own, his gentle yet firm hold on her keeping her where he wants.

She lets herself fall under his spell. If Max can take the control away from her, make her complaint and relaxed like this, then he can have her thoughts too.

"That's it, such a good girl, let me think for you. I won't leave you to fight or flounder on your own."

She follows Max's directions, lets him guide her in this place of trust and letting go of things. He's turning her brain off and letting her float without any kind of worries except what Max is telling her to do.

Until all she can think of is him. The calm the comes with his presence and the way his voice falls over her like a soft blanket. Max is all she knows, occupying every crevice of her mind and leaving no room for anything else to creep in.

"How're you feeling, geliefd?" There is a lightness to his tone that makes her swoon.

She hums against his leg. "Warm, fuzzy, head empty."

"Then you stay here as long as you need, okay? I'll keep you safe."

And she does.

She falls into the warm embrace of Max's words. She lets him protect her and keep the dark ugly thoughts away.

With Max, her head is quiet. The voices can't come though. When they do, he's there to fight them back.

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iceinwhb · 17 days

Text

Dark headcanon

﹅ contains; what in hell is bad, sensitive content, nsfw, explicit content, foul language, explicit lenguage, female Mc.

﹅ warnings; Dark headcannon, insane descrptions, unhealthy relationships, the softest is at the top.

He no longer had any idea how long it had been since he had last properly killed an angel. Perhaps too long to remember how to avoid instant death on the first hit.

Another army of wounded angels came out of their territory, weary from the constant fighting that hadn't changed for years.

Solomon's descendant no longer participated in the war, nor did he allow her to use any special skill. She only stayed in hell so as not to break the guidelines that bound her to him.

And it worked well for a while, until she became suspicious of the strange movements, and eventually, she realized what was going on.

He tried to hide it, but it wasn't long before she realized his intentions.

He still wanted to believe that if she spent more time in hell, maybe just a little longer, would learn to love it and stay. But the betrayal in her eyes, the feeling of him having cheated on her was still there.

She never said anything, and the more time passed, less she liked Gehenna. He couldn't follow her either, or even claim her because he himself condemned her, every day, to delay what might be inevitable.

But this time, at least that day, she had not avoided him. Her eyes did not leave him as he moved deeper into the room where he had taken refuge, so as not to feel that he was losing her.

“Let me go.” Her determination formed quickly, as he approached. “I want you to take me back to Earth. Reverse the deal right now.”

His brow furrowed, not only at the order, but at the strange feeling that plagued his chest.

“Hell…”

“It's your fault, not mine that the deal hasn't yet…!”

“If you can't deliver it, then you shouldn't have made a deal.” He tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to do, even if was wrong. “Or you're going to lie, and tell me you don't enjoy this place…”

“What the hell is there on earth that you can't have here!” He finally reached out, and touched her, not allowing her to move further away. “I saved you from dying back there, you can still die if you come back! You know exactly what you promised.”

“What I promised ended when you did what you wanted, you don't care about anything else!”

“Then go and ask any demon you find if he wants to help you. Go again, scour hell looking for just one…!”

The resounding smack on his cheek stung, especially since it was full of rage.

“Shut up!” he stepped back a few inches, trying to process the kind of feeling that was rapidly evolving, and looked at her again.

The silence was long, more tense than it had ever been, but no words could fix the mistake.

“Whatever you do, you're not coming back” He closed his mouth tightly and gritted his teeth, not knowing exactly what to hide, but already fury was beginning to rise in his brain, as the tingling in his hands began to rise. “At least I thought it would be different.”

“Don't you dare…”

“He and his lineage is always the same…” He held her again, unaware of how much the pressure of his touch had increased, as he threw her onto the bed. His body trembled as the high-pitched whine entered his ears. “But there will be no one who can take you.”

“Son of…” He held both cheeks with one hand, clenching her jaw tightly, the energy of fury continuing.

“Try it. Leave this fucking room and you'll see.”

“I'm sorry, but I can't stay.”

It was the first thing she did, politely, as she turned down the marriage proposal. She wasn't able to remember how many times considered Mammon's feelings after that.

In truth, she did nothing more than take care not to be rude, as her purpose in hell came to an end. She was more relieved to finally be able to come out to earth again, and feel like had a normal life, that even the excitement was more visible than could have imagined.

Didn't care that hell was safer, not quiet either, or that it could give her anything in return, after all, she was aware that once got out. She wouldn't remember anything.

Didn't want to be like Solomon, looking for a place in the heart of the demons because knew that wasn't her place. The reflection, as walked down the hallway of Satan's palace, ended.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to the figure, too large not to quickly identify. The clear eyes, with a hue as beautiful as gold shone in a different way than she knew, especially as the silence continued.

“What are you doing here?” she hugged herself, as walked in the direction of the greed demon, without a fear in the least. Eyes felt intense as it followed her, and immediately, the decompensation of familiarity when not greeted by a habitual smile appealed to her senses.

“You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?” she laughed, as excitement rose in her head again.

“Yes, that's why I couldn't sleep and thought it was a better option… To have some peace, but if you're here…” She looked around, especially to the sides and frowned slightly, forgetting what was about to say. “Just…”

“Can we walk together?” She nodded absently.

“That's what I was going to do anyway.”

“Aren't you too happy?” Mammon seemed to notice the strangeness she felt at every turn, but the question only made the atmosphere more uncomfortable. Discomfort pounded in her brain, making her aware of the bad feeling that slowly clung to her flesh.

“I don't…”

“You know you're going to forget hell, and all the demons in it when you get back.”

“I thought they were all aware that I wasn't going to… I didn't do anything to make them think more of me, either.” She looked up, leaning closer to Mammon, but was unable to look him. “I never coveted a place in anyone's heart, and I never wanted to hurt yours either.”

“I always told you I'd give you anything you asked for.” Long fingers covered her wrist, gripping her hand tightly. “And I'm willing to give you anything as long as you stay.”

Her only response, at least quickly, was easy to get out of her mouth, with a clear denial that there was nothing better than hell.

That was the worst mistake she could made.

Tried to remove his hand a few seconds later, but failed to move his hand at all.

The last thing she remembered hearing was Mammon's deep voice, with a completely different tone to the assurance he exuded.

“I can't… forget you.”

It was dragging, full of feelings she couldn't understand. But she didn't need to because his thoughtfulness was extinguished when she suddenly lost consciousness and woke up in that place.

A year ago.

And every day she could clearly remember every movement, every gesture. The difference from what Mammon was, to the demon of greed who only looked at her from the other side of the room.

Like at that moment, where the clear, golden eyes were brutally digging into her skin, burning her nerves and digging a deeper and deeper emptiness, to the point that she could even feel cold.

She tried to understand it every time Mammon spent hours watching her, where she had gone wrong, or if from the beginning her fate had already been written by the demon who rose from his desk, with the slowness of a predator about to hunt, until he touched the barrier that separated them.

The hand was not on her skin, but she could feel the need it gave off, the desire to touch her again, and play as if her body was that of a doll for the enjoyment of whatever needs Mammon might have.

A soft smile rose to his lips, and his cheek hit the material of gold and diamond cage. He dared to savor the minutes as fingers slowly opened the door.

“Don't you think it's time for a bath? I'll buy prettier dresses today than last time, and change your place, sweet master.”

Her lips trembled, in sadness, but she made no visible grimace, for no matter how hard she tried, was unable to move the crystalline diamond because of how heavy it was, and also to escape because the hands were too strong to hold her, like a leash that would take her for all eternity if possible.

And at that point, when he carefully held her waist, she was already resigned to being an object that she hoped, would be discarded as soon as possible.

Beelzebub's eyes were lost in the flickering spotlight, with a dull light, and the humid atmosphere only increased the rapidity of his breathing, as his nose sank into the wet panties. The smell of semen and female cum was so thick it made him dizzy.

It was an addictive drug that he could not stop consuming more and more, more and more hours of his day until he completely stopped moving, the bittersweet smell, the salty taste of sweat, and the moans made him lose the thread of coherence that he didn't know when he had lost, or for how long.

Only rolled his eyes, drenched in lust as he looked at the body of the descendant of a man he had forgotten. Tears steadily filled her eyes, as the moans were muffled by the cock that was penetrating the back of her throat with desperation, while pussy and ass were filled by others.

The scene made him move his attention to the semen-filled bosoms, the same that also marked the panties and cheeks, full of deep bites and saliva his. He didn't need to get lost from sight because another copy, took it upon herself to lick the red, sore, and quivering peaks.

His copy's fingers moved to her pelvis, and deftly advanced on her clitoris, before his eyes connected with it, and with a mischievous grin, the Beelzebub overstimulating her parts, opened her lower lips. The copy of his cock was crushing harder on the small body, to the point of making her squirm and almost scream.

He moaned, raw, as his hand pumped the erection harder than he should have applied. He felt suffocated, and at the same time, ecstatic in madness and pleasure.

Came down from the cloud of pleasure as the precious semen was held between his fingers, and his eyes came back into view, where his copy had already cum in his mouth, burying it to the full.

They all came out at the same time, leaving a long line of white semen, with no space to stain when he finally stood up. He held her neck carefully, and swallowed her tongue, the taste so exquisite that he just clicked his teeth together again.

She screamed, but he kept stifling the sound as the blood touched the roof of his mouth. And when she pulled away, his nose followed the line of his neck, perversely enjoying the smell.

She was the king of gluttony's whore. He could smell it in every pore of her skin, so deeply that it stained even her soul.

“You smell soo good…” Too good to want to eat her in one bite, too good to want all hell to notice how much she'd taken and how very much his she felt.

He bit into the skin again, making her scream again, but even the sound impoverished his ability to reason, and heightened the mammoth pleasure. The piece of skin he had torn from the soft skin made him shiver. The softness in each bite, the sensation that scraped warmly across his throat.

It was a taste he had never tasted before. Beyond anything he could have tasted. He sighed, almost cumming again as the whisper burned in his ears, his name, in the bulging mouth that did nothing but tantalizes him, every bite until there was nothing left.

“Please, Beel.” He brought his eyes to the sound, and his mind paused for a moment. The lips were bruised, red, hot, bleeding.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing, and her body barely had the strength to move. She was so adorable that made him laugh, as he held her wrists tighter and his gaze bored into the dark, tired, on the verge of fainting eyes.

“Should I eat you now?” Her eyebrows furrowed, blood continued to drip, staining the white red, and her consciousness slowly faded. He smiled, as he ran his lips over her wrist. “Unless you finally choose to stay. By my side.”

She didn't speak. The silence became so grotesquely awkward, for seconds before another bitter laugh hit his throat.

His chest wouldn't stop pounding, and the shape of his body was becoming less easy to hold as remembered why they were in that place.

They had gone through Abyssos. Passing time as usual, until her excitement slowly faded and she began to want to go back somewhere else, desperate to get away and leave him abandoned.

He returned to his reason, got control of his body and breathed hard.

“Then eat and fill yourself with my cock until you agree. And if you deny it again…” He held her chin, to make her look him in the eyes, but her eyelids fell slower, even disoriented. “I will eat you.”

“Come to Paradise Lost, one last time” She never denied him the opportunity.

He only acted out of condescension, because his conscience was pounding with despair at the thought of losing another loved one, and being forgotten as if he were nothing.

That was the decline of the last drop of patience he could have. He wanted to respect her decision, but the dark thought that she, in particular, did not want to stay was stronger.

And then, once he managed to have her one day, to give her up, but he did not succeed. They walked together, talked, laughed, even the tender moments became a burden and finally, before sunset they ended up in the greenhouse. He offered her a last cup of tea and they continued together as if nothing would happen afterward, as if it was just another day, where he could see her later.

And when she stood up, slightly dismayed, she finally looked him straight in the eye. For a moment, there was clear hesitation, but instead, she reached over and hugged him.

There was a small farewell, the size of a sigh. She touched his face, held his cheeks, and said words he could not have forgotten, “I am grateful to have known you, and I would only like to stay. But this is goodbye, and I hope it won't be the last.”

“You can't go.”

The minutes went on in silence and continued for twenty after his first words were not a simple acceptance.

“I have to go, Luci.”

“I'm not letting you go.” Surprise came over her, slowly, obfuscating his chest, but it was no greater than the sense of loss that kept dripping out, unsteadily, and almost choking him, as he clung to the hands that were still on him.

“Lucifer.” She swallowed saliva, then looked at the door, thinking of a possibility he had already completely abandoned. He tried to stop her, but she only took a step back, avoiding him, wrenching the resignation from holding her even without knowing what would happen.

“You're going to die if you walk through that door.”

The silence continued, before she sat back in the chair, almost laughing, incredulous at what was happening.

“You're not going to keep me here forever. You know that.”

But even if she was sure of it, she wasn't aware of what it meant forever. But that didn't matter after a while, nor did the certainty of an eternity.

He was barely able to leave the room because each time, he found something different, with the same ending, before Gamigin fixed it again and again.

At first, he could understand the urgency to remain vigilant, and eventually, stopped weighing too deeply, because he was by her side, after all she would always live, no matter how many times tried to kill herself, like in that moment, where she was scratching hard at his throat, looking to cut it for having tried to disobey his words again.

He stopped her fingers, lowering them, and momentarily removed the restraint. She finally drew in a sharp intake of breath, coming back to herself. She moved her hands quickly, trying to pull away before salty tears filled her cheeks and came with a loud sob.

Lucifer moved his hands to her cheeks, as she finally seemed to give in and lick gently at the wetness, savoring the salty taste, then sucked hard, longing for the sensation, taking his full attention.

“Stop it, just let me go…” He brought her tongue to his mouth, and tangled his tongue with the other, which was trying to hide, and the tears continued to enter his palate, relentlessly.

The human body was too weak to resist, even when she tried and finally manipulated it to his liking, even touched hard, to the point of leaving nail marks on the soft, warm skin.

But it was not enough.

He grabbed her neck and pulled her towards the wall, the sound was dry, he repositioned the barrier, and his teeth dug into the flesh, mercilessly, as he removed the clothing, ignoring even the struggling that went on constantly, not giving up even when he tore the blood-filled shirt.

Before his eyes, there were only marks of the countless bites that sank into the skin, each time he made her own. There was no longer any place without scars. Even the fingers, hands, and thighs that struggled to flee from his grasp were marked as his.

Though at that moment she was not yet ready to stay, she would slowly realize that the only one she needed by her side was him, for he would not let her see and touch others.

“The only thing you have now is me.” Blunt teeth bit into his shoulder, as nails dug into the wound in his bleeding wings. “The only place you belong is these four walls.”

The little grunt of discord entered his ears, but it was useless when she continued to cry, without stopping, to the point of shaking off his need. The hand he still had available rose to the nape of her neck, and again, he licked away the tears, for he was unable to let her go.

“Only me, descendant of Adam.”

⛧✃✃✃⛧✁✁✁⛧✃✃✃⛧✁✁✁⛧

I dance to you so that it is not obvious that Leviathan is missing here, but don't worry. I'll write it later.

On the other hand… I don't know about you, but they are still very soft cuties (I also don't want to stress that I censure it too much, because yes, you can imagine how they ended with their own mc).

Aaaaaaaaaand… I think when I'm really fucked, sleep deprived and hundreds of wanting to sleep, I don't check well the coherence of the sentences, which is who, and for you guys it must have been a fucking shitty thing to read it, LMAO. I promise to check that for you guys, and even “render” my headcannons. For your health, and mine.

But right now, if I got something wrong, many apologies, (I love very, very, very much the beautiful people who did help me in the last poll. I need you guys too much, I will never leave you. <3).

Although… (I am a poll addict)

#whb #what in hell is bad #prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#pretty busy #whb beelzebub #whb satan #whb mammon #whb lucifer #whb mc #whb mc x kings #Don't ask me where is Min

166 notes · View notes

wordsarelife · 17 days

Text

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the night of the concert is here. will theo be able to fix everything between him and pixie?

warnings: bit angst, idiots in love, a bit cheesy

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

you tried not to think about it too much, but despite everything, saturday did not feel normal. it felt like you were missing something.

after you had ignored his messages, your dad had called you several times. you didn't want to speak to him, but you had to admit that it felt good being wanted by him for once.

you didn't know when he last tried to reach out to you.

you spent your day ignoring the time, staring blindly into your book and reading the same page over and over again. you were tempted, but you didn't open the curtain.

your mind had run in circles after what your mother had said last night.

you had worried that everything she said had just been a temporary state, but today she had gotten up before you to make you breakfast. she had still looked a bit sick, but colour was slowly returning to her face and today the had a meeting with her doctor.

she was trying to find a therapist too. not only for her but also for the both of you. she wanted to repair your relationship and she was slowly becoming her normal self again.

she had been right, if you could forgive her, you would maybe eventually be able to forgive theo too.

the pain and fault that had rested on your shoulder had slowly evaporated into thin air, lifting everything that had made your and theo's relationship hard in the first place.

the doorbell rang at around six and you wondered who it was. your mother was still at the doctor's and your friends were already all at the concert hall. or at least that was what you had thought.

"what are you doing here?" you asked as your eyes fell upon enzo and april. "shouldn't you be there already? it's an hour drive"

"that's all enzo's doing" april rolled her eyes jokingly "you would think for someone that has claimed yours and theo's relationship to be none of his business, he would act like it wasn't, but here we are"

enzo ignored his girlfriend's words completely. "you have to forgive him, y/n" he almost begged "you should've seen how distraught he looked at rehearsals today. he's hating himself for what he did"

"enzo, i really-"

"i'd do anything, y/n" he interrupted "he's not himself without you"

"you should've seen him" april pointed to enzo "i let him drive my car this once and he turns it around in the middle of the street and drives back here. we were also already fourty minutes into the drive!"

you had almost laughed, if enzo hadn't been nearly crying in front of you.

"you're everything to him" enzo continued unfazed. "he has loved you for years! all of us saw it right before our very eyes, even your brother! theo loved you from afar for so long, don't you think you can love him back?"

all colour suddenly disappeared from april's face as realization dawned on her. "repeat that!" she said.

"what?" enzo turned his head at her confused "don't you think you can love him back?" he repeated, but april shook her head.

"i mean what you said before that" enzo and you looked both confused now and she rolled her eyes "theo loved you from afar!"

"what?" you asked, but it looked like enzo had realized what she meant.

"yeah!” he threw a fist into the air and turned around himself, loudly screaming.

"am i being filmed?" you looked around for invisible cameras.

"y/n" april laughed as enzo continued dancing behind her. "you're daisy"

"i'm what?" you asked with a dry laugh. "are you alright?"

"daisy buchanan" enzo said loudly "you're daisy buchanan and theo is jay gatsby"

"no, that's-"

april interrupted you, before you could tell them how crazy all of this sounded. "he loved her from afar" she quoted in a deeper voice, obviously mimicking theo.

as if that wasn't enough enzo chimed in, spotting a high-pitched voice, undoubtly quoting you "then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake, instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

"he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved her because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored" april continued.

"did we read the same book? because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband" enzo rattled that down like he had learned text for a whole musical.

april smiled. “that’s why he defended daisy as if his life depended on it. because she is you!”

they both looked at you expectingly.

"i don't know what is weirder about this" you shook your head "that you both can effortlessly quote something theo and i said weeks ago or that you decided enzo should play me. that was the worst girl voice i ever heard, april's mimicking of theo was at least believable"

"that's what you took from this?" april sighed.

"she said we effortlessly quoted them" enzo pointed out "that means she remembers" he tapped a finger to his head.

"wait, you're right" april laughed "oh, you're so smitten!"

"we should really go now" enzo reminded with a look to his phone. "well, are you coming or not?" he asked.

"i don't know, guys"

"as is said before” she pressed “theo was obviously talking about you" april reminded "you're daisy! what's there not to know?!"

enzo seemingly had enough, as he massaged the space between his eyebrows. "why are you and theo always making it so unnecessarily hard? do you love him?"

you smiled "i do"

"do you want to see him?"

"yes"

"then what are you waiting for?!" he took your arm, pulled you out of the house and closed the door. "come on!" then he pushed you and april to the car.

"first he has time to come and get you and now we have to run like someone is chasing us" april muttered under her breath and you giggled.

enzo was really reminding you of a family father right now.

he started to drive just as your arse had hit the seat. you were able to close the door just in time, before it could make contact with the stone wall.

"enzo!" april scolded "that's still my car!"

"hold on tight, woman!" he screamed "we're not going to miss this concert!"

and he was right, because he turned the car as if he was testing at how much speed he could take the turn.

to your surprise, you made it in time, with all your body parts still attached.

"that was—"

"awful!" april interrupted as she opened the door and got out "you're never driving this car again!"

"sorry, sweetheart" enzo was close behind her and you followed suit, unsure if you could come inside without them.

inside the venue, enzo kissed april goodbye before he headed behind the stage. “let’s find a good place to watch them, yeah?” april smiled and you nodded.

you walked through the crowd, not too close to the stage, but good enough.

“hey” a voice said and both you and april turned around. “you’re y/n?” the guy was wearing a headset and clipboard. he looked like he belonged to the venue.

“yeah?” you asked surprised. were you not allowed to be here?

“mr l/n told me to come and get you” the guy explained “he has a vip place on the right side of the stage. he said you both were with him?”

you looked around the people in front of you until your eyes caught the space he was talking about. there was your father, staring right at the stage.

april followed your line of sight. “we don’t have to” she said to you, before she turned her head to the unfamiliar man “we would rather stay here”

“are you sure?” he asked and looked to you expectingly.

“no” you said quickly and were surprised by yourself “we’re coming”

you followed the man through the crowd of people.

“what are you doing?” april muttered, clutching your arm.

“i can’t always run away from difficult feelings”

“okay” she nodded “just give me a sign and i’ll knock him out”

“thank you, april” you smiled “you’re the greatest friend i ever had”

she smiled and you could see how much your compliment flattered her. “i’m glad that you are coming back to normal” she giggled, as she wrapped an arm around your body.

“hey april” your father greeted when you stood in front of him. april said a hesitant hello, before she nudged your arm and told you she would wait for you.

once april had left you alone, both of you didn’t know how to act.

“h-hey” your dad said, before he opted for an awkward side-hug.

“hi dad”

“how have you been?” he pushed a hand through his hair. you could see him struggling, he didn’t know what to say, just how you didn’t know.

you smiled and shrugged. he nodded.

“can we stop doing this?” you finally asked “this feels so forced. we haven’t talked in a year and that’s shit, but we don’t have to ignore it happened, okay?”

“i’m sorry” your dad shook his head “i thought all of this would be easier, but you’re not little anymore and-“

“-i’m not as forgiving as i used to be” you interrupted “what you did and what you said was actual bullshit, dad. you messed everything up and i think you’re responsible that i have such a hard time trusting people”

“peanut” he muttered.

“why didn’t you call?” you asked as tears fell over your cheeks “why didn’t you want to be my dad anymore?”

he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “what happened wasn’t your fault”

“i know”

“yeah, but i made you feel like it was” he admitted “i said horrible things and i brought you back home like i didn’t want to see you. i was ashamed, i thought you didn’t want to see me after what i had said to you that night”

“i needed my parents. there’s no excuse for you not atleast trying to be there” you shook your head “you could’ve tried” you added, crying.

your father didn’t say anything. he nodded, before he softly touched your shoulder. “i would love to try” he said gently “if you still want me to”

“yeah” you nodded “but i don’t think i can just forgive. it’s gonna need a lot more than a promise from you”

“i know” a tear slipped over his cheek. “i want to make it alright. theo made me realize what i did to you and i’m so ashamed, peanut” he gulped “i just want to be your dad again”

“i want you to be that” you softly hugged him and it felt more normal than before. “but we have to fix a lot for that to happen”

“i know and i will try to make it work again”

“hey, sorry” april leaned around the body of your dad “they are starting now”

you smiled at your dad, before you loosened the hug and all three of you walked further up to the barrier.

“hey guys!” theo said into the microphone “we’re cursed legacy. this is cheap wine!”

you watched him closely, how he gripped the microphone. his voice flew through the speakers, making you shiver. the veins on his necks were more obvious when he came to the chorus, pouring his heart right into your ears.

now you’re dancing along,

to his newest song,

laughing like you did when you were mine,

and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,

on the bottom of your lip,

reminder how it is,

but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

the song ended and you opened your eyes. april was jumping up and down, loudly screaming.

your father smiled impressed. “they’re really good”

“i know” you nodded proudly.

after cheap wine, cursed legacy played eight packs of cigarettes, you get me so high, only angel and neon nights.

before theo could announce the next song, dave fraser entered the stage.

you and april exchanged a confused look, when you noticed theo and dave eagerly discussing something. theo shook his head, more than once, before he sighed.

“and now” dave had grabbed the mic that had been standing next to enzo unused. “make some noise for pixie dream girl”

you clenched your teeth and noticed the look on theo’s face. he looked about as happy as you did.

enzo started playing the chords, blaise and mattheo starting right after him, before finally draco joined.

theo‘s eyes wandered over the crowd, before they finally landed on you.

no, you thought, as you saw the conflict in his eyes. then he did what you had feared. he didn’t start singing.

the band exchanged confused looks, before they repeated the same progression of chords. the crowd hadn’t noticed that theo missed his cue, but they would if he would continue to not move and just stare at you.

“is something wrong?” your father muttered beside you.

you didn’t take your eyes off of theo, but shook your head.

“i’m sorry” theo finally moved and started speaking. the music behind him died down. “i can’t do this” he sent his bandmates a regretful look, before he jumped down from the stage and started making his way through the crowd in the direction of the door.

you started walking at the same time. but not to him.

“y/n?” april called confused.

you walked behind the stage. maybe theo really wanted to throw everything away because he had been an idiot and wrote that dumb song, but you wouldn’t let him.

“hey” you said into the spare microphone, when you entered the stage. the crowd, who had been turned in the other direction as they looked after theo, turned around.

and so did theo.

you could almost hear the sigh of relief that escaped mattheo‘s lips. the rest of the band seemed to be relieved to see you too.

“ehh, i’m pixie” you smiled and you were as confident as if pixie really was your name. “and this is pixie dream girl”

you nodded to enzo, who promptly started playing. after a few seconds of confusion, the rest of the band joined in.

i’m an average girl, with tangled up hair,

my laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than he can bear.

i flutter around, like a clumsy old crow,

leaving chaos behind me, wherever i go

if you had to sing that stupid song, you would at least change the lyrics in a way that was fun.

he‘s pretty average too,

a thorn in my side, believe me it’s true,

he‘s up all night, screaming his songs,

i‘ll stay awake, and sing along!

you could see the smile enter theo‘s face.

the rest of the band seemed pretty impressed by your spontaneous ability to change the lyrics. you could also hear enzo add a few improvised riffs.

you raised your arm, waving for him to come and join you. he walked his way back through the crowd, as you sang the chorus.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she’s enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh in her eyes, she‘s a pixie dream girl.

he entered the stage and his laughter was reaching your ears through the loudness of the crowd and the instruments. you laughed with him.

he smiled to his bandmates, shaking each of their hands as if to apologize, before he walked up behind his own microphone stand, a few feet away from you.

you nodded for him to start the next line. it seemed that he had caught on to your lyric changes.

she's a pixie dream girl, and i get the hype,

she sings in the shower, it‘s just my type.

she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,

but i’m pretty sure i won‘t ever get enough.

you turned your head and smiled at him. he looked so beautiful as he was illuminated by the stage lights. his hair seemed to glow and you felt the sudden need to touch it and push it out of his eyes.

you started singing the pre-chorus.

he's a daring challenge, a relentless test,

but i need him around, never giving me rest.

theo added the last two lines, before the chorus began again.

she'll chatter and flirt, driving me mad,

i'm losing control, it's really too bad.

it was the first time that you guys sang together in a long time. your voices harmonized perfectly and you could see enzo and matt smile at each other when they noticed.

theo smiled his typical smile, the one you grew to despise, but could not love less right now.

you got rid of the pullover you were wearing (deciding that it wasn't the right piece of clothing for a rock concert) and were left in just a top. the stage lights were hot.

you pulled your microphone from it's stand, walking across the stage. draco winked at you when you put the pullover down next to his keyboard stand. you smiled at him, as you started laughing.

you walked back to the microphone stand and continued singing the bridge.

but oh, she turns behind the window glass,

It’s not the first time, but maybe it’s the last

I just hope she’ll never stop her twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

before the instrumental part of the music started, you turned to theo, who was already looking at you. he took a step in your direction. you did the same.

"i'm sorry" he said "about everything, i should never have-"

you weren't even angry anymore. you had already forgiven him everything.

"no" you shook your head "i'm sorry for pushing you away at a time where we both needed each other"

"we both are idiots, huh?" he muttered over the music and you nodded laughing.

the band started playing the same set of chords again, dragging out the instrumental part.

"i love you" theo finally said. his words made your heart flutter. and up here on this warm stage you couldn't have been happier.

"i love you" you replied, the same sincerity in your voice.

theo's smile grew impossibly bigger, before he softly took your face in his hands and connected your lips. the crowd roared. you both turned to theo's microphone as you sang the chorus together.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

the last few chords of the song rang out the crowd started cheering. you smiled down on all the people who were before you, before your eyes turned to the barrier, where april and your dad were still standing.

april was holding two thumbs up, while your dad looked a bit confused.

theo outstretched his hand and drew you close to his body. you hugged him tightly and he pressed a kiss on your head.

the crowd was still cheering and you could hear nearing footsteps. a second later, mattheo threw his arms around the both of you. it didn't take long for enzo, blaise and draco to join your group hug.

you laughed loudly as they began jumping around on the stage, loudly celebrating their very first official concert.

you were sure you could not have been happier than in that moment.

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

additonal note:

this is cursed legacy's debut album. i was supposed to upload this in chapter four, but actually forgot..

leo is the one in the middle. (mattheo mentions it in chapter four)

127 notes · View notes

elleloquently · 1 year

Text

invisible string [8] : ellie williams

part seven

| college!ellie x female!reader - welcome to the final part of invisible string! i am so sad to be ending this short series, but extremely excited for you all to read it!! i really hope you'll like it... a lot of time was spent getting it right (: thank you guys for being so patient with me! also- thank you to all of my readers <3 special shout out to those of you who have been following this story since the first part was posted. your kindness and encouragement has meant everything to me <3 ilysm

| c/w - anxiety, swearing

it was jarring, the transition from speaking to not.

your friendship with ellie started all at once and fizzled out even quicker, no lasting proof besides the sticky notes that remained on your wall.

it felt silly, looking at them everyday. you wondered if it was inappropriate, keeping them around and on display. truthfully, you still had a little bit of hope left. if you took them down, that would certainly be the end.

she was only a part of your life for a short time, but the week had felt empty without ellie.

ellie hadn't made a move, so you didn't either.

the time apart made it easier to think though, easier to differentiate your thoughts without ellie clouding your senses.

normal friendships shouldn't feel so dramatic. they shouldn't have so many lingering stares, ghosting touches, and unsaid words. at least, you didn't think so. you hadn't experienced a friendship like that before. desperate to say it all yet too scared to say anything at all, you simultaneously wanted to tell ellie everything yet keep yourself a secret, a closed off book forever.

normal friendships shouldn't require that much thought.

the idea nagged at you continuously and you had no choice but to allow it. it was december, finals were wrapping up and the promise of winter break was no longer just around the corner, it was here.

things were always a little awkward, even when they were good. tension.

things hadn't felt weird in a bad way until the mention of jesse and dina. any color had promptly drained from ellie's face, and she was too quick to get away. you were confident that you hadn't misspoke. surely it was something on ellie's end, but it bothered you nonetheless. you had to have been apart of it.

thinking about ellie made you feel selfish, because it almost felt vain to weigh the ways in which she could potentially care about you. reading into stolen glances was a pastime that possibly could've been increasing your vanity. you didn't typically have such thoughts such as oh, i look pretty today, that must be why she keeps looking at me.

you missed looking at ellie. how pathetic but true, it had only been a few days but surely your journal was tired of hearing about it.

you quickly learned that ellie seemed a little impulsive, driven by her stubbornness. well, two can play at that game. you wouldn't even text her.

you half hoped that your absence would make her grow more fond at the idea of you, though maybe you had only pushed her away further. no texts, no anything.

sure, it was finals week. but still.

half of your clothes were packed away, piles around your room that you would swear was an organized method. studying didn't really do you any good, your last final was here and you were drained. you felt like an idiot for being more concerned about ellie, but you had done fine in the class all semester anyway.

snow was finally starting to pile on the ground. you would appreciate the beauty more after your final was finished, when it didn't matter if your hair grew wet from the melting flakes.

campus was quiet and relatively empty as you hurried to the building in which your final would take place. you liked being early, and refused to push the time limit for an exam. maybe the thought of seeing ellie again made your feet move a little quicker, but you focused on rehearsing the study guide in your head during your walk.

your heart pounded with every step. despite actually enjoying the class, you never felt relaxed at the idea of an exam. you had been so focused on ellie, it didn't really sink in that you would be sitting still in a silent room, clock ticking quietly as you would try your best to answer each question. what if you couldn't even focus?

it was too late to worry, and too early to resign yourself yet.

you made it in time, twenty minutes early, your specialty, but quite a few people already occupied the classroom. it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, though. people usually arrived early for finals. the satisfied smile slipped off of your lips however when you noticed that ellie wasn't around.

your heart dropped.

did she opt to take the exam early? what if you had already saw her for the last time, and you had no idea?

you sunk into your seat, wanting to text ellie but you were starting to forget the wording of a definition that you were trying to memorize last minute. sparing a quick glance at your phone, you decided to pull out your study guide instead for a last review.

how the fuck were you supposed to focus?

it was technically still early, but you pulse quickened everytime someone that wasn't ellie walked into the room.

what if ellie wasn't coming? even if things were weird, you guys had become friends. it would be fucked up just to never say bye, right? unless she wasn't as emotionally invested in the situation as you were... which, let's be honest...

the door was heaved open once again and you tried not to look disappointed when in walked a guy from your class. you refocused your gaze on your study notes when suddenly a muttered "thank you" pulled you out of your thoughts.

the guy was holding the door open for someone, but you didn't need to look to know who it was.

in walked ellie, shoulders straight and eyes set. you opened your mouth, ready to say something, but she walked right past you and towards the desk that she previously sat in, before you became friends.

your eyebrows furrowed and it felt like the final nail.

but she hesitated.

ellie hesitated before backpedaling and sat down in the empty spot next to you. the act alone practically gave you an ego.

she didn't glance at you even once, and somehow that felt even more obvious than if she would've looked at you. despite the circumstance you felt giddy, determined to redeem yourself for a mistake that you didn't even make.

you eyed ellie. she was trying so hard not to glance in your direction, it was cute. you had to try. you'd regret it if you didn't. you mentally debated which was worse, regret or embarrassment.

"so," you began, wanting to sound confident instead of squeaky with nerves. "on a scale of one to ten, how fucked do you think you are for the final?"

ellie's eyes widened and you tried, you really did, not to break out into a grin.

you continued. "i think i'm standing at a solid..." you pretended to think, drawing your eyebrows together as you looked to the ceiling, but you already knew what you were going to say. "...six?"

ellie snorted. "do you just memorize everything that i say?" she quipped, finally turning toward you.

your smile was sly once you looked away from her. "i don't know what you're talking about?"

ellie rolled her eyes, but you were finally speaking again and it was so good. a little late maybe, but good.

"don't copy me," ellie said, her words clipped. you knew she was joking. "anyway, you're gonna do better than a six. you organize your notes like a crazy person."

you frowned at the teasing statement but your heart skipped a beat anyway. ellie couldn't seem to meet your eyes and it made you feel greedy, desperate to get to the bottom of things.

"how have you been?" you asked, casually enough.

ellie looked at you as though you had posed a trick question.

"it's finals week," she replied flatly, but there was something else there.

you nodded. "right, but..." you quietly trailed off. there was no point in starting a big conversation with the exam merely minutes away.

ellie seemed visibly uncomfortable.

"the last time we talked, i..." ellie began to speak without knowing where she was going to end her sentence. you really needed to memorize that definition from earlier.

you flung open your notes. "it's fine," you dismissed. it wasn't really, but maybe you didn't want to do this now.

ellie winced. "it's not," she disagreed.

last week she had practically left you in the dust. now she wants to get confrontational?

"ellie," you frowned. "do you want to look through my notes? i have the ones from the section that i helped you with, that day in the library?" you looked up curiously, hand hovering over the pages incase she accepted.

ellie laughed, short and breathy. "i'm okay."

her tone was polite and light, a drastic change from how awkward she was just being. you carried on, quickly scanning paragraphs. cramming was never helpful, but you couldn't help yourself.

"i didn't really need your notes," ellie mumbled, looking away from you and at her hands instead.

you barely caught on to the uttered confession. "hm?"

her words took a second to register in your brain, to which you finally pulled your gaze away from your notes.

"are you declining my help in a passive aggressive way, or do you have something to say?" you asked quickly, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could think it over. the classrooms were always too hot this time of year. your hands felt too dry and the feeling of them against paper was driving you crazy.

"what? no," ellie quickly corrected, shifting nervously in her seat.

you leaned over to unzip your bag that was on the floor, leaning against your chair. "i was just asking," you mumbled, pulling a small bottle of lotion from it's secure place in your bag.

ellie watched carefully as you applied a small amount to your hands. the sweet, floral notes reached her nose and she craned her neck in an attempt to read the scent name on the decorated tube.

"ellie?" you pressed, zipping your bag shut once again when you were finished with the lotion. ellie's sentence was unfinished, and you were running on little to no patience.

"i'm sorry," she breathed out. it wasn't what you were expecting and you blinked in surprise.

you would've clung to her every word, but you'd rather it be saved until your finals were over. you couldn't tell if it was a good i'm sorry or a bad one, and the result might genuinely impact your grade. it had to be discussed, you couldn't live with it being left alone. you debated biting the bullet and just asking if she wanted to hang out, but the idea of rejection made you hot in the face.

there it was again, regret or embarrassment.

if she said no, the embarrassment would most likely creep over you every night when you tried to sleep, but at least you wouldn't have to face her again. last chance.

you came out of your thought by noticing the dejected look on ellie's face. right, she said sorry.

"ellie," you tried again. "are you busy after this... or, or tonight?" you tried not to make it sound weighted, but you didn't think that you succeeded.

something of a surprised smile registered on ellie's face that she tried to suppress.

"after this?" ellie questioned, her words rushed. there wasn't much time to converse anymore. the final exam was looming.

you nodded. ellie blinked. "yes. sure," she responded, a little dazed.

satisfaction bloomed within you. it wasn't over yet.

thank god, you didn't have to work your way through this exam battling tears of rejection and heartache.

you wanted to say more, but the time that you had been prepping for weeks was finally upon you. you were stupidly emotional about the class ending. this class brought you ellie. this final was the reason for your budding friendship with ellie. you didn't want whatever this was with ellie to end with the class. you would finish the exam, and then you would talk.

"hey," ellie muttered, getting your attention quickly before the exams were handed out. "good luck," she said warmly.

you didn't bother hiding your smile. "good luck," you replied sincerely. you spared ellie one more quick glance before tuning in to focus.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie left the exam before you did. she had finished first, only by a few minutes, but your heart raced. you were nearly done, just checking over answers when ellie had stood up, turned in her final, and left. she looked back at you before she had walked out of the doors. you had made eye contact. and then she was gone.

you skimmed all of the pages, making sure you had answered every question. your stomach hurt. did she leave? did she just leave?!

granted, of course, you could text her later. hopefully she would respond. but it was hard to make sense of any rational thoughts after the image of her leaving.

you did your best. you even felt fairly confident. you blindly gathered your things and turned in your exam, wishing your professor a final farewell and a happy winter break.

you pulled your phone out of your pocket upon exiting the classroom, hoping to see a text from ellie. instead, you simply saw ellie.

"oh," you said audibly.

ellie's head snapped up as soon as you appeared in the hallway. she was sitting on a bench outside of the classroom. she was waiting.

"how'd it go?" she asked hopefully.

you breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a laugh. she waited for you. the weight of the exam had been lifted off of your shoulders. now the only thing left that was bringing you down was where you stood with ellie.

"it's over," you mused, relieved that for a little while, there would be no assignments or tests to leave you in a tizzy. "what about you?"

ellie smiled in response, but her expression was lacking happiness. "we're free."

you nodded slowly, wanting to get on with it but at the same time feeling perfectly content with the small talk.

"so," you started, but the classroom door flung open causing you to flinch. another student completed the exam, exiting into the hallway. you stepped aside, drawing closer to ellie. "wanna get out of here?"

"do you have the time?" ellie questioned, looking at you almost accusingly.

your eyes narrowed. "yes," you emphasized. "that was my last exam. I am officially on winter break. also... you were the one that disappeared the last time we talked."

ellie paled, focusing her gaze on her converse. "yeah. about that..."

a small group of people came down the hallway. ellie stood up and gave you a look. "let's get out of here," she affirmed.

you trailed behind her, wringing your hands. what exactly were you even supposed to say? was this supposed to be some sort of all or nothing situation, because you really weren't very good at those...

once ellie noticed that you weren't at her side, she halted. "are... you okay?" she asked, looking unsure.

you nodded, eyes wide. you could see out of the doors, snow was falling once again. it was really starting to stick to the ground, too. the sight made your heart swell. "'it's snowing," you mumbled, awkwardly gesturing with your hand.

ellie let out a dry chuckle. "yeah, it is," she remarked, a soft smile painting itself on her lips. "wanna go to my dorm?"

you nodded once more, absentmindedly. ellie held the door open and you stepped outside, mentally welcoming the snow.

the walk was quiet. awkward. neither of you bothered with anymore small talk. it felt weird, saving the conversation until you arrived in ellie's dorm. you were anxious to see if she still had your doodles on her wall.

you made it in record time, motivated by the cold and slippery sidewalk. ellie laughed at you once you entered the building, stomping your shoes to rid them of any snow.

"you have snowflakes. in your eyelashes," ellie murmured, placing a careful hand under your chin to direct your gaze so she could examine them.

you stilled and held your breath, the feeling of her touch warming your body so much that you felt desperate to shed your coat.

"they'll melt," you whispered with an uneasy laugh.

ellie caught herself and removed her touch. your stomach flipped.

"i thought one time you said something about not liking when they melted on your eyelashes. something about your mascara running?" ellie teased, leading the way to her room.

"yeah, so i buy waterproof," you explained as if it were obvious.

ellie clicked her tongue and unlocked her door. "right. silly me," she breathed, stepping aside to let you into her room first. every action like that brought you butterflies.

you tried not to make it obvious, but you immediately looked for the notes on her wall. once your eyes landed on them, you breathed a sigh of relief. they were still there. suddenly you didn't feel so weird about keeping them on your wall either.

the room smelled like ellie. you wanted to soak it in.

ellie took off her coat, placed her bag on the floor and then dropped her coat on top of it. you followed suit, tucking your bag into a corner and shrugging off your coat. you were going to put it on the floor too, but ellie grabbed it from your hand and hung it on the back of a chair.

your cheeks warmed and you looked away.

"i feel like we should be studying or something," you tried with a small laugh.

"or something," ellie mused.

she sat on her bed, legs hanging over the side. you stood in front of ellie, avoiding eye contact.

"can i get you anything?" ellie awkwardly offered after a moment. "i don't have much left but i can offer you the water that's left in my bottle."

you rolled your eyes despite the corners of your lips, which quirked upwards. "charming. i'll pass, thank you."

"suit yourself," ellie sighed.

you were both trying way too hard to sound nonchalant. you hated it.

you stood awkwardly, not sure what to do with your hands. after a moment of hesitation, you finally made the plunge.

"ellie, did i like... say something? or do... something?"

you were scared of her answer, scared that maybe you really had been embarrassing yourself all along and now you wouldn't hear the end of it.

she looked resigned. you could tell that she was debating something, the way her eyes flicked away from your face and her eyebrows drew together.

"you didn't do anything," ellie confirmed. you could tell that she was physically working up to something. "i thought maybe... dina and jesse? i thought they might've said something stupid," she uttered.

you tilted your head in confusion, but your heart beat sped up. your mind flashed back to that moment, someone that ellie likes.

"they didn't," you reassured.

"yeaah, that's what they said too. i guess i just kinda... freaked." ellie replied, scratching the back of her neck.

"they were really nice," you offered awkwardly. "i didn't mean to make you feel weird or anything."

you even tried to avoid it, but you didn't have to explain that now. it's not like you would have actually hung out with dina and jesse... no offense to them of course, but you didn't know them so the idea made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

"you didn't," ellie pressed, adamant about not making you feel bad. "i thought that maybe i did."

you scrunched up your nose. "is that why you said the thing about freaking me out? because you really didn't."

ellie nodded. "i just thought they said something dumb. or something they shouldn't have said," she reiterated. ellie kicked off her converse.

your eyes widened, immediately thinking the worst. surely ellie was not the type of person to be nice to your face and then talk poorly about you to her friends? you honestly felt that if she didn't like you, you obviously wouldn't be standing in her room. still, the nagging thought persisted.

"something like what?" you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.

"nothing bad, i just- dude, i feel like i'm on trial when you're just standing there like that."

your cheeks heated in embarrassment. "sorry," you mumbled, taking off your shoes and carefully tucking them next to your bag. you sat on the edge of her bed, and ellie turned to face you.

ellie's eyes scanned your features once you sighed.

"this is so dumb," you muttered. to your surprise, ellie laughed in relief.

"i was being weird. and i shouldn't have been," ellie clarified. "i'm sorry i made you feel bad."

the sincerity made you feel awkward. "it's okay. we're good?"

"we're good," ellie confirmed.

you blinked, forcing a smile onto your face. you were ready for this part to be over but there was still so much to be said.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, studying the solar system poster above her bed. "i still haven't seen the planetarium," you uttered wistfully.

ellie tilted her head, staring at you while you were unaware. "i'll take you," she said automatically, the words leaving her before she was able to doubt herself.

a ghost of a smile flickered on your lips.

"i think i've only been to a planetarium a couple times, as a kid," you said, eyes glancing over the starry map.

ellie smiled, quickly glancing from your lips to your eyes.

"for my sixteenth birthday, joel took me to this awesome museum," ellie began. her tone was wistful yet determined, voice laced with her best storytelling inflections.

you turned to face her again. ellie's eyes lit up while she spoke.

"it was a science and history museum," ellie explained. you smiled at her easy enthusiasm. "-and it had this planetarium that was the coolest fucking thing i've ever seen."

the smile quickly left your lips once your mouth dropped open in realization. "oh! the pictures!" you scrambled off of ellie's bed, leaving her to look confused and mildly concerned.

"pictures?" she questioned, getting up to follow after you. you lead her to the wall that was covered in all of her drawings and photos. you could've sworn that you remembered them. you scanned her wall, looking for two pictures in particular as your face scrunched up in concentration.

"there!" you pointed excitedly. the two photos that you remembered, ellie in an astronaut helmet grinning wildly at the camera, and ellie and joel wearing hats, posed in front of a massive dinosaur display.

"are those from your birthday?" you asked, stomach twisting with your words. you hoped that you were right, or else it might be embarrassing. maybe it was embarrassing anyway, the fact that you had so vividly remembered those photos.

ellie chuckled. "yeah actually, they are."

ellie bumped your shoulder, causing you to grin at her decorated wall.

"i love how many pictures you have," you sighed. "i have such a cute camera, but i always forget to take pictures in the moment." you explained with a frown.

"bring it when we go to the planetarium," ellie suggested plainly, as if her entire sentence didn't completely cause your pulse to quicken.

when.

we.

"okay," you replied flatly, wondering if ellie could tell how uneven your breathing had gotten. fueled by blind courage, you stared at astronaut ellie when you spoke. "i'm leaving tomorrow, though. going home for break."

"we'll go after break," she clarified, looking at you.

you turned your head to meet her eyes, willing yourself not to flinch at how close your faces were. the green of her eyes were always enchanting, but this close?

you swallowed hard. "okay," you agreed.

and it was official. ellie wanted to keep seeing you after break. you had done the impossible college task, turn a class friend into a real friend.

friend. honestly, it was laughable.

"okay," ellie repeated in a whisper. her eyes bore into yours and you were frozen, wanting to pull away but your body stayed still, feet planted. she was so intense.

you forced your body to move, turning your head away from her and taking a step back. you heard ellie sigh as you moved.

"i was never trying to blow you off," you confessed suddenly, once your back was to ellie.

you obviously had caught her off guard by the way in which she hummed in surprise. admittedly, you had caught yourself off guard too, but it had been weighing on your conscience too much. you couldn't ignore the signs anymore, and as much as you would have loved to wait around for ellie to make the first move, she was too concerned about potentially freaking you out.

"remember when you asked me if i wanted to go to the dining hall with you? the first time," you clarified. "and i said that i was free the rest of the day." you busied yourself by straightening the green throw blanket on ellie's bed.

ellie nodded, even though your back was turned. "yeah?"

"and then i stopped hanging out with you after class."

"yeah."

"i... um, i lied," you confessed suddenly, whirling around to face her.

ellie's features were etched in confusion. "lied about what?" she pressed, her voice low.

all of your insecurities felt heightened by how intensely she was staring at you. you felt cowardly, explaining the next part.

"i lied about being free?" you mumbled, face hot.

ellie's eyebrows knitted together, as if to say go on...

"i have another class on those days, like, about an hour later. but... i lied and said i was done for the day because... i wanted to... hang out?"

you mentally lost your footing but got there eventually, holding your breath once you finished your sentence. the silence was daunting until ellie suddenly laughed.

"are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, eyes wide.

"n-no?"

ellie shook her head. "why didn't you just tell me that?" ellie laughed, clearly amused.

"because it's embarrassing?" you said, believing it to be obvious.

"well, yeah," ellie mused. you visibly deflated.

ellie managed to hold back her laughter as she took a small step towards you. "you could've told me," she reiterated more seriously.

"sure i could've," you mumbled, rolling your eyes. "i was too nervous. it felt so stupid."

"you skipped class to hang out with me?" ellie's eyes glinted with bemusement. you wished she would stop looking at you, you needed a break. you quite literally felt like you were burning up.

"so what?" you snapped in defense, and ellie's laughter escaped her. you frowned, crossing your arms.

"i just wish that i knew that before," ellie shrugged, taking another step towards you. you countered it by taking a small step backwards.

"yeah well..." you shrugged. "i'm sorry. it's weird."

ellie immediately shook her head. "it's not," she pressed. she went from joking to being serious so quickly. god she made your head spin.

"i just didn't wanna-" you were quickly cut off by ellie.

"freak me out?" she finished. your blank expression was enough of a confirmation.

"imagine how i felt," ellie pointed out. "i thought that maybe i... i don't know," she shrugged it off. it wasn't fair, you were totally embarrassed and she kept brushing things off. it was infuriating. she looked so cute in her hoodie.

"maybe you what?" you pressed once again. finish your sentences, ellie.

ellie took a deep breath. "maybe i scared you off."

you shook your head slowly. yeah, these conversations were not typical in normal friendships.

"you didn't," you said. your words were quiet but weighted. you prayed for ellie to catch onto the implication. please please please-

ellie took a step closer. you took a step back. your body knocked against ellie's bed and you straightened your knees.

"good," she said simply, not breaking eye contact.

"okay, enough about that," you laughed weakly. "why did you want to hang out with me in the first place?" you questioned, attempting to change your tone.

ellie's eyebrows raised. "seriously?" she asked flatly, unimpressed with your question.

whatever. this so wasn't fun.

"how would you recommend going about making friends?" ellie asked tauntingly.

"oh, you're putting me on the spot again. let's not do that anymore," you suggested. ellie laughed suddenly and rolled her eyes.

"my bad," she joked, throwing her hands in the air to resign. you smiled but the butterflies in your stomach made you feel sick.

you threw her an accusing look but she grinned, enjoying whatever this situation was. you almost felt jealous, wondering what it was that you could have possibly done that managed to boost her confidence.

"besides, you never answer any of my questions," you argued.

"well you just have so many," ellie mumbled and then frowned. "and yes i do," she defended. "i just answered your question about those pictures being from my birthday."

"ellie," you complained.

ellie mocked your tone, saying your name as a complaint.

you appeared unamused, willing the corners of your lips not to turn up.

ellie dropped the joke-y smile and genuinely appeared to be conflicted. you worried that you pressed too far, maybe things didn't need to come out right now, but you stayed silent anyway.

"fine," ellie finally said. "ask me."

"ask you what?" you quickly questioned.

"just ask me."

heart pounding, you remained still as ellie took another hesitant step towards you. you felt as though there were so many things that could go wrong. it was all dangling, right in front of you. one wrong move or one right move, you couldn't decide which it was, and everything would be out in the open. you were terrified, wanting to immediately backpedal but at the same time, you were starting to feel addicted to the adrenaline of being around ellie. you wanted to ask her so many questions but also, nothing at all.

at once it came to you, and the final exam that you had just taken felt like it had been days ago.

you wrinkled your nose. "what did you mean when you said you didn't really need my notes?"

the expression that registered on ellie's face made you feel as though you had asked the incorrect question.

"i just mean, you didn't say that you don't need my notes, you said that you didn't need my notes which doesn't make sense because-"

"i lied," ellie cut you off.

you gaped at her and ellie took another step, this one even more hesitant. you couldn't move away any further. you resigned and sat down on her bed.

"about what?" you asked, and your voice came out more quiet than you had intended. you felt like your heart was pounding in your ears.

"i didn't need your notes."

"i know, you said you didn't but-"

"no, i didn't need your notes," ellie tried again. "i never needed your notes."

she was treading lightly and you could tell. ellie tried meeting your eyes, but you stared down at your hands in your lap.

"you never needed my notes," you repeated softly.

ellie nodded once, encouraging your train of thought. she let it linger, only for a moment before clarifying. "in the library. the study group."

what?

"you never needed my notes?" your head snapped up, eyes wide as you finally met ellie's gaze. she slowly shook her head, trying to gage your reaction.

you felt humiliated, as if you had forced ellie to study with you even though that certainly wasn't the case at all. she had even encouraged it, initiated it even, but dread still filled a pit in your stomach.

"but you said that you were there for the study group!" you said, grasping for straws. ellie chuckled.

"yeah, i was. just not for the reason you thought."

you tilted your head to the side. "go on," you said, raising an eyebrow.

"i didn't need help. i wasn't there to get help. i was actually there to give help, but the person didn't show up," ellie explained.

you blinked once, slowly. you repeated her words in your mind. you let it sink in.

"oh my god," you muttered, partly in disbelief. "why did you let me help you?"

"becauuse," ellie carefully sat next to you. "i figured... if you thought that i needed help, you would stay."

her expression remained stoic despite the red blush that was creeping up onto her face. your stomach flipped.

"and i stayed," you uttered.

"you stayed," ellie confirmed. "mission accomplished," she offered weakly.

she wanted you to stay. she acted like she needed your notes so you would stay.

ellie was watching you carefully, but you didn't feel pressured to react. you wiped your palms on your pants.

"okay," you began calmly. "i hate study groups. i hate the awkward conversation, being around people that never actually speak to me. i never go to those things. the only reason that i went was because you asked me about it in class. and so i thought that i might see you there. and i wanted to see you," you added the last part, letting the words fall into the open.

"you're fucking with me," ellie immediately said.

"i'm not," you argued, defensive and buzzing.

ellie clicked her tongue in disbelief, eyeing you. shorter strands of hair always fell into her face. you wanted to swipe them away.

"jesus," ellie mused.

"is that why you wanted me to stay? you wanted to be friends?"

ellie winced at friends, and you inwardly cringed.

dear god.

"not friends," you quickly clarified. "well, friends, but..." your voice failed you, but maybe it was for the better. you wished you weren't wearing a sweater, too warm.

ellie said your name, quietly to get your attention. you met her eyes. her mouth slipped into a sly smile when she spoke.

"i sat next you because i thought that you were pretty," she uttered pointedly.

oh! like like like!

your mind and face went blank. "oh," you laughed after a second.

"oh?" ellie questioned, watching you carefully.

ellie leaned into you, elbows propped on her legs. you swallowed hard. you felt like you were watching yourself instead of actively experiencing what was happening. it was dreamlike.

"you're the only reason i haven't skipped class all semester," you blurted out. you grimaced, twisting it into a nervous smile. okay, sure, no time like the present.

ellie looked at you curiously, cocking her head to the side. "really?"

"really," you confirmed, running your fingers along the blanket on her bed.

"you definitely weren't obvious," ellie murmured, looking at you in amusement.

"i wasn't supposed to be, are you kidding? this is humiliating."

"is it?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern despite the smirk on her face.

"sort of? oh my god, i feel so dumb. i had the biggest-" you paused in hesitation, the word crush hadn't been used yet and you were reluctant to be the first.

like like like!

"i wanted to talk to you all semester," you corrected, still burning with embarrassment. "and when you sat next to me, well, i know that technically i sat next to you but that was my seat first so really all i was doing was sitting in my normal seat where i had sat every other day but then you decided to move seats so really-"

you rambles were cut off, surprisingly, pleasantly, by ellie leaning inwards and placing her hands on your shoulders. you were suddenly pulled towards her as ellie closed the gap between the two of you.

her lips, warm and a little chapped, met your own without a moment's notice. your eyes widened in surprise before you forced them shut, melting into ellie as she brought a careful hand to the side of your face. your heart pounded, butterflies exploded in your stomach and yet you tried not to think, only to enjoy it.

like!

the kiss lasted merely seconds before ellie pulled away, lifting her hands away from you. they hovered above you, the ghost of her touch lingering. you already missed it. ellie quickly scanned your face for any indication of feeling.

you were lost for words, every hopeless hope that you had held and carried with you for weeks turned out not to be hopeless after all. now probably wasn’t the best time to feel shy, but nerves consumed you.

despite them though, you laughed. “so when jesse said someone that ellie likes…”

“yes,” ellie confirmed.

you grinned. “me too.”

“yeah?” ellie asked softly.

you hummed in response, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as ellie leaned in once again. you allowed yourself to be kissed, drowning out your nervous feelings with complete and total bliss.

you pulled away first this time, drawing your knees up to your chest.

"how long?" you inquired, peering to the spot on the wall where the sticky notes were on display.

"since the first day, when a pretty girl was in my class and i had to take the seat in front of her."

"me?" you whispered, as if you were being let in on a secret. in a way, you supposed, you were.

ellie nodded enthusiastically.

"me too," you said with a frown. "good thing you finally spoke to me, 'cause class would've ended before i had the chance."

"good thing," ellie agreed with a hum. you wanted to kiss her again.

"so, is there a reason i got invited to lunch? they said something about you canceling all the time," you mused.

ellie waved it off. "just dina being dina. i was canceling but... there was only so much time left in the semester to try and impress you," ellie joked wistfully.

you shook your head in disbelief. "i can't believe this."

"you? what about me?" ellie countered. "when i saw you that night at the bar, with that guy? god, i was fucking praying that you didn't have a boyfriend or something."

"cute," you responded simply, to which ellie wrinkled her nose.

"oh, and when i gave you my number?" ellie continued on, talking animatedly now. "and you didn't text me at all during the entire weekend?" ellie shook her head, letting out a breathy laugh. "i thought it was over for me."

"i was so scared," you admitted.

"it's okay," ellie reassured you. "we got to the bottom of it."

you smiled, looking at your hands. the silence that ensued was comfortable.

"were you ever going to tell me?" you asked finally.

ellie sighed heavily, scanning your face. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you wanted me to. i had to be sure." she looked down at your hands, fidgeting and wringing.

you nodded in understanding. "you were sort of driving me crazy these past few weeks. i couldn't tell if you actually liked me or if i was overreacting to everything."

"oh, join the club," ellie mused.

okay, note to self, trust your gut feeling. unless anxiety is controlling your gut feeling. then… disregard completely. other note to self, try to figure out the difference between a real gut feeling and an anxious, fake gut feeling.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you talked and talked with ellie until the sun went down. you had hardly noticed it had gotten dark. the shades and curtains were open, once letting in the natural light from the day. the room grew dark as night fell, but neither of you moved from the bed. you sat, talking and laughing and whispering and you wondered how cheesy you would seem if you pinched yourself.

time ticked by no matter how much you opposed it, and the threat of morning weighed heavy on you.

"i'll walk you," ellie insisted once you were putting on your shoes.

you glanced out of the window. snow was piling up quickly. it was beautiful to look at, but you dreaded the walk back to your dorm.

"are you kidding? no way," you refused. you felt bad enough the last time that ellie had walked you home, and that night's weather was nice compared to tonight.

"are you kidding?" ellie began putting on her shoes, lacing up her converse.

"i'm just going to go," you threatened flatly.

"okay, i'll just trail behind you and try not to look like a total creep," ellie retorted.

you pushed out a breath of air, trying not to smile. ellie had her jacket on quicker than you did anyway.

when ellie asked if you had gloves this time, you were proud to pull them out of your coat pocket to show her.

"a hat?" ellie questioned next.

"i can't find my earmuffs," you grumbled.

in response, ellie placed her own hat on your head, tugging it down so that it covered your ears with a look of determination on her face.

the walk was peaceful, though trudging through the quickly fallen snow had proven to be difficult. it was beautiful though, and ellie guided you with a careful hand on your arm so you could focus your gaze upward, at the falling snowflakes.

when you arrived at your dorm, you both hesitated in the cold despite your noses turning red.

"ellie, do you want to come in fo-"

"yes," ellie quickly answered. you grinned.

yourself and ellie spent two more hours talking together. you stood back and observed while ellie paced around your room, looking at pictures and trinkets. everything about her was endearing. the shy smile that graced her lips upon seeing the sticky notes on your wall was the reason behind your third kiss that night.

when ellie finally had to leave, she parted with promises to text when she had made it safely. and she did.

you traced her name from the sticky note over and over, emotions swelling inside of you. despite the calm you felt fairly overwhelmed, left with so much to process. positively overwhelmed, at least. no longer would you lose sleep, analyzing and overthinking trying to figure out if ellie could truly like you.

like like like!

you would see her again after break, it was certain. you would text her, not worrying if ellie didn't really want you to have her number.

after all, she gave it to you for a reason... just as she reminded you before leaving for her dorm.

so of course, you promised to text her.

and you did.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04 @saturnsrem @poopedmypants47 @shehitdenaenae @jrjlc

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams college au #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou x female reader #ellie williams fanfic

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sporadicthingcollection · 3 months

Text

A Day in the Life (Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: The days are never dull with a baby on board. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: 🌶 Explicit 🌶 Word Count: ~3.2k Warnings: Infants in very mild peril, cunnilingus, PiV sex A/N: daddy buggy my beloved

---

4:41

Keeda’s fussing before the sun’s even up. And then you start fussing as soon as Keeda starts fussing.

“Your kid’s awake,” you grumble into his back.

Buggy has no choice but to fuss back. “Before dawn, he’s your kid.” You nudge him with your foot. He huffs. “I’m comfy, bitch. Get 'im yourself.”

You do not appreciate how comfortable he is. You knee his ass with each word -- not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make your point. “You. Are. A. Chop Chop man.”

...Yeah, alright, that's fair. Detaching his head and arms, he floats himself over to the crib.

Any other child would be concerned if their father’s disembodied head hovered above them, but Keeda’s never known any different. His grumbles turn to happy babbles, his chubby little face lighting up like the moon.

“Mornin’, ya li’l rugrat,” he says with a smile. “Starting on your bullshit early today, huh?”

He slips his hands under the boy’s arms and lifts him up and over to the bed. He's getting heavier, maybe about as much as a decent-sized cannonball. Makes sense, given his parents’ heights.

His parts rejoin the rest of him and he lays back down, placing the baby on his chest. He's still not too big for that, at least.

You roll over — more of an aggressive flop, really — and tuck yourself up under his arm. “Hey, bug.”

"Hi, dear," Buggy replies.

You rest your head on his shoulder as you lay your hand on your son's back, rubbing in small circles. Keeda lets out a happy coo, his little fingers curling as he reaches out to you.

You take his hand and stroke it with your thumb. "Back to sleep, sweet baby," you mumble, already halfway there. "Back to sleep..."

Buggy waits for your breathing to even out and for Keeda to go still before he lays his head against yours.

———

9:03

"Son of a bitch!"

Buggy watches as you pitch the jar of baby food and spoon over the deck railing. "First you wake me up, then you pee on me, and now you won't eat!” You jam your finger into Keeda's face. “Why are you being such a little fucker today?!"

The boy giggles, kicking his legs and smearing his breakfast around. He's got your laugh, but that little hater attitude couldn't have come from anybody but his father.

Buggy's just glad it's not his turn to feed him. "Food's supposed to go in his mouth, ya know."

You flip him off without even looking at him. Keeda waggles his fingers like he's trying to mimic you, but he doesn't quite have the motor control down yet.

“I'm gonna go get a new jar,” you grumble. “Make sure he doesn't spontaneously combust or some shit.”

You slink off without waiting for confirmation. Buggy's not worried. You'll cool off in no time. And he gets to watch your ass as you walk away.

He turns his full attention to Keeda. He picks the boy up into his arms. “You really wanna piss your mom off?” he asks. The boy babbles in what he decides is a yes. “Give her hair a yank. She spent all morning on it and it'll drive her nuts.”

He knows Keeda shouldn't be able to understand him, but there's a sparkle of recognition in those big dark eyes as he reaches a little hand out to touch the hair peeking out from under Buggy’s bandana.

He knows grabby fingers when he sees them. He angles his head away. This does not deter Keeda, but merely changes his target.

And now for the most confusing emotion he's ever had. There's the usual agitation that comes from someone noticing... it... but it's Keeda. He's never mocked it or thought it odd or asked questions. He just thinks his daddy's neat.

He can't help the slight smile as he lets Keeda touch his face.

———

9:50

Richie’s liked Keeda from day one. He’s always smelling him and headbutting him and gently pawing him. Mohji thinks it's because he's trying to scent-mark the kid.

“Should I do something?” Buggy asks quietly.

Mohji shrugs. “He's laughing, isn't he? Richie wouldn't hurt a fly.”

Keeda giggles as Richie presses his nose against his head, gently sniffing. Richie lets out a pleased chuffle as he rubs his whiskers along Keeda’s face.

Mohji crosses his arms. “He doesn't do that to me,” he mutters.

“I’ll dunk you in tuna oil, if you want,” Buggy says. “He'll be all over you.”

“I think I'll pass--” Disgust turns to horror as Mohji blanches. “Oh shit!”

Buggy whirls around. Richie has Keeda in his mouth. Completely in his mouth. Richie is a big lion and Keeda is a small baby.

Panic grips him. He's never actually had to fight a lion before, but it looks like that's what he's gonna have to do. You're gonna kill him anyways, so might as well go out in style--

Richie deposits Keeda at Buggy’s feet. The boy looks no worse for wear, if not a little confused and covered in kitty drool. The overgrown house cat looks very pleased with himself for taking a few years off of Buggy’s life.

Buggy glowers at Mohji. Mohji avoids eye contact and tries to shrink into his hoodie.

———

10:15

Well, after that, baby needs a bath. Fortunately, the giant soup pot in the galley is the perfect size for a little guy like Keeda.

Buggy hums an aimless tune as he rubs the shampoo into Keeda's hair. It's dark and thick like yours -- not to mention long. Kid’s hair grows faster than the rest of him.

He scoops up a fingerful of bubbles, then gently boops Keeda's little nose. The boy’s face scrunches up, and he goes cross-eyed as he grumbles.

An intrusive thought takes root. He chuckles to himself as he smooths Keeda's hair upwards. “Look, babe. Mohawk.”

“Keep the suds out of his eyes,” you warn from the doorway.

He rolls his eyes. “I'm not gonna let him drown, ya know. You don't have to hover.”

You smile that narrow little smile of yours. “I like watching my boys.”

Buggy's chest tightens. How can one expression, one quirk of your lips, one flash of teeth make his stomach backflip? His breath catch? His cheeks burn?

A splash of sudsy water rushes up to hit him in the face. Seems the kid’s discovered volume displacement. He regrets going with a full beat this morning. Between the splashed water and the heat in his cheeks, this makeup is gonna melt right off.

———

12:24

Dropping an ear in Keeda's crib while he napped was a brilliant idea. Amazing, even. Buggy can be off doing Hot Dad Shit but still come running at the first sign of trouble.

And then the baby found it and it became less of a good idea.

"C'mon, give it back." He reaches for the ear, but Keeda shifts just out of reach, clutching it to his chest. Given the boy's grip strength, he can't just yank it out of his hands without ripping cartilage.

Buggy hears Keeda's heartbeat thumping as he slumps against the edge of the crib. "What the hell could you possibly want with an ear?"

Keeda looks him dead in the eyes. Slowly, slowly, slowly, he brings the ear to his mouth.

Buggy has never moved faster in his life. He shoots his hand off and claps it over Keeda's mouth. You were right, he is being a little fucker today.

Keeda's muffled whines catch your attention, and you stick your head into the cabin. "Having trouble, Captain?" you ask with a smirk.

"Your son's being a dick."

The smirk grows into a smile. "He gets it from his father."

———

14:21

As Captain, sometimes one must spring into action and help secure a loose cannon threatening to smash the hull. For that reason, Buggy appreciates his crew’s tolerance of having a baby shoved into their arms at barely a moment’s notice. Alvida, especially. He’s never known her to like kids, let alone infants, but she seems to make an exception for little Keeda. Sometimes he thinks she makes up reasons just to hold him for a bit.

She's smiling a big, cheesy smile at him as he returns from his heroics. The kid gazes up at her with his enormous eyes, returning the grin. Alvida then sticks out her tongue. Keeda does the same. She blows a raspberry, and Keeda giggles.

“Having fun with Auntie ‘Vida?” he asks.

“Time of his life.” She makes an angry face. Keeda's mouth screws up into a grumpy frown. “It's crazy how much he looks like you. Especially considering he doesn't have your--”

Her mouth shuts so hard and so suddenly that her teeth click.

Buggy keeps his voice low and even. “Doesn't have my what?”

Alvida blinks. “Hair. I was gonna say hair.”

...you know what? Acceptable.

“Eh, I'm just glad he's got ten fingers and ten toes.” He ignores the relief on her face as he takes his boy back. “His mom’s prettier anyways.”

———

15:46

You don't need a detached ear to know when your son is crying. Somehow, you know. You can be down in the bilge and you'll hear his whining from the top deck.

"What's going on?" you ask as you come up on deck.

Buggy watches as Keeda flops over onto his belly, thrashing his limbs and wailing. "He's mad because I won't load him into the cannon."

Keeda pauses in his fit as sees you, then lets out a bwuuuuuuuh and continues. He looks very much like a fresh fish as he flails around.

You watch him for a moment, then look at Buggy. A silly little glint sparkles in your eyes, the one that you have when you get a bad idea. The same one he saw during that first kiss you shared together.

“He would fit in a Buggy Ball shell,” he says.

You stare at him a moment longer, then shake your head. “We shouldn't.” Keeda lets out a wail that makes you flinch. “But we could.”

After a few moments, the boy runs out of steam, lying there like a dead bird on a beach and whimpering pathetically.

Buggy scoops him into his arms and brushes the tears away. "Can't load ya up, li'l man, but wanna see it go..." He pops his hands off and splays his fingers in front of Keeda's face, popping them apart at the knuckles. "...ka-boom?"

Keeda's agitation melts away like an ice cube in Hell, replaced with wide-eyed wonder. You take him and sit on a crate, covering his ears. You give Buggy a nod.

He grins. He points at a pair of idling crewmen -- the artillery boys, fortunately. "Ready piece!" he barks. “And make it snappy! My kid’s in the audience!”

Buggy appreciates how they trip over themselves rushing to the cannon. He really is lucky that his crew likes his kid half as much as he does. Even if they “kidnap” him sometimes and hide him in the crew quarters to dote on him and to stress his parents out.

In moments, the Buggy Ball is loaded, the powder set, and the artillerymen stand at attention, waiting to light the fuse.

He holds his fist up. "Aim!"

The cannon is already in place, but he pauses for dramatic effect. A quick glance at Keeda's wide eyes and your little smile confirms it's working.

He gives you both a little wink "Fire!"

With a bang and a whistle, the shell flies up into the air. A safe distance away, it explodes into a shower of smoky crimson streaks.

They reflect nicely in your smiling eyes as Keeda squeals in delight.

———

19:02

Buggy sticks his tongue out. "Blah."

Keeda sticks his tongue out. "Blelck."

He puffs his cheeks out. Keeda puffs his cheeks out. He puckers his lips. Keeda puckers his lips.

He opens his mouth. "Ah."

Keeda opens his mouth as wide as he can, showing off his little pink gums. "Ah!"

Buggy jams the spoon in there before Keeda can even react. Blinking in surprise, he swallows, even licking some stray banana mush from his lips.

You watch, slumped across the table with your chin in your hand. "How are you so good at that?"

"Clown to clown communication. Sounds like this." He puts the spoon down and, squishing Keeda's cheeks, affects a croaky voice. "’Feed me. Feed meeee.’"

Your laugh your lovely seagull laugh and his heart flutters like a hummingbird.

———

20:50

“Don’t wake him up,” you warn as you open the door to the main cabin.

"I know, I know." He separates himself at the waist. “Floating, see? Shock absorber.”

Keeda snuffles and twitches. You both freeze, praying that he doesn’t wake up. He does not, and you relax.

You side eye him as he crosses the room, not letting up until he lays the boy down into the crib. You slip Mr Toucan in next to Keeda and pull the blanket up around him.

"Sweet dreams, li’l bug," you say.

"I'm not going to bed yet." You glower at him and he grins. That's never going to get old.

You tiptoe out with him close behind. He leaves his ear on the table, just in case.

The door clicks shut, and you both let out your held breaths. You hold your fist out and he knocks his knuckles against yours.

“Good job this time, Dad,” you say.

“I can be subtle when I want to be.” He drapes his arm around your shoulders. "Y’know, I was thinking..."

The breeze tousles your glossy hair so artfully. "Was wondering where the smoke was coming from."

He pulls you in closer, his hand wandering to the top of your thigh. You've been bitching about baby weight, but to him? You've never looked better. "Was thinking... Wanna make another?"

You give him a smirk that makes his cock twitch. You cross your muscular arms and it turns into a pulse. "Weird way to ask to go bareback."

"No, I mean it,” he says. "He looks like you and I want one that looks like me. Balance it out."

You breathe in sharply. The mischief in your eyes fades, replaced with thoughtfulness. You duck out from under his arm to saunter away. “Sell me on it.”

He follows. “What's cuter than one Keeda? Two Keedas,” he says. “Especially if it's a girl. Built-in double act. And I've got the perfect name for a girl.”

“Yeah?”

He gives you a big stupid grin. “Buggetta.”

You stare at him a moment, then crack a smile and make that glorious, glorious snnnrk noise. “Absolutely not.”

“To the name or to another kid? Because I'm fine with Buggy Junior if it's a boy--”

“Over my dead body we name a kid that.”

"Alright. Fine." He grabs your hips and pushes you against the deck railing. "Guess I'll just fuck you 'til you're knocked up again anyways and we can improvise."

You suck in a breath. Your tongue darts out to lick your lips. He goes in for a kiss, but you duck beneath his arms.

“Catch me and you can do whatever you want with me,” you say before taking off.

He sprints after you.

———

21:24

He wanted to be romantic. He wanted to be cool and suave and sweet for you. You, light of his life and his hard-won prize. You, his partner in crime and mother of his child. You deserve nothing less than the sultriest, slowest, languidest of lovemaking, full of sweet nothings whispered breathlessly into your thighs.

Unfortunately, just looking at you makes his cock leak and if he doesn't strip you down and fill you up as soon as possible, he's gonna make a mess of his last clean pair of underwear.

So that's how you ended up pinned between him and a crate in the cargo hold, moaning like a bitch in heat as he ruts into you. He's lucky you like it like that.

“Harder!” you spit.

He grunts into your shoulder as he snaps his hips. His tongue is busy taste-testing that sweet sweet clit of yours.

You let out a long, guttural groan. “Less talking, more -- ah, ff--!”

He must have hit something nice, because your back arches and your pussy flutters around his cock, squeezing it tight and making him damn near black out.

He hates this stupid condom. Hates it, hates it, hates it. Hates how he can't feel your warmth, your slick, your soft, satin walls as they clench. Hates how he can't fill you up with his cum, painting those lovely walls a pearly, sticky white. Hates how he can't fuck another baby into you.

...unless. Unless he's lucky and it breaks. Or if it's just a piece of cheap shit not worth the paper box it came out of.

Oh yes. Oh, then he'd be lucky. Then he'd get what he wants. He'd get you pregnant. Again. You’d be all soft around the edges and glowing like a full, terracotta moon with hair as glossy as a fresh tube of lipstick.

His hips stutter. Yes yes yes yes yes--!

He grips your hips tight as he thrusts into you, not stopping until his balls are drained and his cock is limp. He flops against you, burying his face in your minty, citrusy, cinnamon-y hair.

“I love you,” he mumbles.

He can hear the smile in your voice. “Love you too, Bugs.”

———

00:57

Sad little whimpers in his ear distract him from his carousing with the crew. You're significantly more fucked up than he is and on round eight of a three-round game of cards, so he slips away without disturbing you.

Keeda is sleeping when he enters his cabin, but the little twitches and whimpers suggest it’s not a restful one.

He tickles the bottom of his foot -- his teeny tiny little foot -- and the boy wakes with a start. He starts to cry, only to falter as he sees his father, his lip quivering and his eyes watering.

Buggy scoops the boy into his arms. “Shh,” he says. “Daddy's here. Don't worry.”

He strokes his fingers through the boy’s hair. Keeda coos like a dove, trying to burrow his face into his chest. Failing in that endeavor, he peers up at Buggy with those enormous eyes.

Somewhere, deep in his heart, Buggy knows that all the treasure in the world couldn't match the feeling of holding his son in his arms. And that all the praise and all the applause would be nothing compared to the way you smile at him like you have a secret to keep.

But why settle for just two people when he could have the adoration of them all?

He sits down on the bed, propped up against the headboard, cradling the boy close. “You're gonna be a prince someday,” he whispers. “A little pirate prince. Daddy’s gonna be king and they’re gonna love you as much as him.”

Keeda exhales heavily, letting out a soft peep as he goes limp. His eyes drift closed.

Buggy is suddenly very aware of how tired he is. He lays back into the pillows. “Go to sleep,” he murmurs. “Go to sleep...”

---

To the "Curious Courtship" Masterpost | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x reader #kiss marry kill #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece live action #fan fiction #one piece fanfiction #reader insert #x reader #emberly writes #smash or pass #the curious courtship of buggy the clown #dad buggy

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missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway · 2 months

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Don't care if it sounds cold. It is, what it is.

Bucky x POC!Reader, Ex!Steve x POC!Reader

Wordcount: 1394

Summary:

Steve returns 3 years after he left for the past. Wanting the life he had with you before back without consequence. Too bad you’ve moved on with someone he least expected.

Warnings:

Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, Hurt Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Protective Bucky Barnes, Exes, Sad and Sweet, Sweet Bucky Barnes, Moving On, Lovers to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Abandonment, Domestic Avengers

Notes:

Hello Heathens! Woke up feeling angsty, with a mighty need to finish this dialogue heavy drabble I started last week. Happy reading!

You’re preparing lunch in your modest kitchen, singing and dancing along to the music flowing from your bluetooth speaker, when there’s a knock on the door. Knowing Bucky can easily hear it and you're currently preoccupied you leave him the task of answering it. You listen to the door opening and murmurs of speech for a couple moments before it closes again and two sets of footsteps can be heard heading your way.

“Sam, what have I told you about at least texting before you come over.” You look up from the island, expecting to find a grinning Falcon before you but are caught off guard by the imposing form standing under the archway. “Steven?”

“Hey, doll.” He takes a step forward as you close your eyes, shaking your head to relieve you from the vivid hallucination that is taking up space in your home. It isn’t until Bucky places his cool metal hand on top of yours, giving it a squeeze, that you dare to open them again.

“What are you doing here? And most importantly why ? You went after your happily ever after. You shouldn't be here.” You blurt out, disbelief showing on your face. Bucky without hesitation makes his way to your side of the island, showing his support and making sure to be within arms reach if you need him.

“It wasn’t quite as happy as I imagined it would be.” You watch his adams apple bob as he swallows. “All I wanted for so long was to have a do over with Peggy. So the first chance I had to fulfill that dream, I took it.” He places his hands on the island. “It was good at the beginning, but I couldn’t get you out of my head.” He locks eyes with you. “We barely spent any time together after a while. She was always working. Trying to better the world, leaving me alone with my memories of you. I found myself seeking out pieces of you in her. They always fell short. No one loved me like you. I wanted that back. So I decided I needed to come home.”

You take a deep breath to calm yourself, tears brimming your eyes as you hand Steve a dose of painful truths. "What we had was special Steven. I'll admit that. But it wasn't enough for you. I wasnt enough for you. Your head was always full of the what ifs. Your heart was never fully mine to begin with. I thought that as time went on, that my portion was growing in size. How wrong was I to believe such things.” A lone tear falls from your eyes.

“I'm a firm believer of actions speaking louder than words. You leaving me behind for a chance with her that day was all the reality I needed. It broke me. You broke me. Honestly if it weren't for Bucky, Sam and Clint’s family I don’t think I would have had the will to endure all that pain. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I wanted to not exist so I wouldn't have to feel the pain of being abandoned for a ghost of your past. I was real, Steve. I was there. I gave you the pieces of me I hadn't shared with anyone else before and you took all of that for granted. And now you're back and expect that love to still remain intact.”

Your heartache seeps through your words, coating it in poisonous barbs, to protect what remains of the vulnerable organ. Bucky, your lover and loyal protector, moves in closer, wrapping his flesh arm around your waist, grounding you. “You have got to be kidding me. Even if I wasnt with Bucky, I wouldn’t take you back. Not after 3 years and having to rebuild myself. My standards have changed and you don’t meet them anymore.”

It’s as if your words delivered a swift punch to the gut for him as he lashes out with vitriol lacing his tongue. “And he does? My best friend. I always knew you had feelings for her. You couldn't wait to swoop in as soon as I was gone could you.” He has a white knuckle grip on the marble as he stares down the man he’s always trusted with his life.

Bucky just nods his head in disbelief as he replies. “I'm the bad guy, Steve, really?” He pulls you in closer to his side, done with the niceties. “If you must know. We didn't even broach anything near romantic until almost a year after you left us BOTH behind.”

He clenches his jaw as he gets that possessive glint in his eyes and you know he’s not going to hold back. “When it finally happened, a natural progression if you will, there was no turning back. She became mine, as I became hers. It was fucking magical. She always came for me. On my fingers. On my tongue. Clamped tight around my cock like a vice. Squeezing the life out of me.” He husks, ghosting his metal fingers across your collarbone. “I helped her forget about the pain you caused when you left her behind for the past. I gave her an outlet for that agony. We sank into the darkness of our loneliness together. Don’t tell me that didnt mean something. Don’t be that daft Rogers. Our love for each other is bone deep.”

Steve stares at the both of you, a loss for words.

“Mama” comes over the monitor sitting behind you on the counter. You turn to see your daughter standing in her crib having woken from her nap. She continues on trying to get your attention, “Mama”, “Dada” the only words you can make out from the babble.

“I’ll get her.” Bucky kisses your temple and proceeds down the hall.

“You have a baby?” Steve chokes. “How old?”

“She’s 15 months old.” You state.

“So, she’s not mine.” He whispers out.

“Not a chance pal. She’s all mine.” Bucky beams as he walks back into the kitchen, your daughter Amara on his hip.

“You never wanted kids with me Steve. Certainly not towards the end. Why would you think she was yours?” You ask.

“Wishful thinking I guess.” He looks over at the sweet cherub face cuddling up against her fathers chest. “She’s beautiful.”

“Bug, want to say hello?” Bucky asks his daughter, a hand running up and down her back.

The toddler eyes Steve and squeaks out a “Hi.”

“Hello sweetness. You look just like your Mama, but with your Dada’s eyes. Such a lucky girl.” You watch as his shoulders slump. “I screwed up royally. I acted before thinking, once again, and look at what it cost me. Everything I ever really wanted was always right here with you and now I’m going to have to watch it from the sidelines instead of being the one to share them with you.” A lone tear rolls down his cheek.

He wipes it away. “I know it’s not much, especially now. But for what it’s worth, I’m Sorry. Truly and deeply.”

“I know you are Steve.” You reassure him.

“We both do.” Bucky adds.

“I don’t hold it against you, ya know.” You impart, placing a hand on his. “If you didn't put me through all of that pain I never would have ended up here, with a life I never could have dreamt of. It’s not perfect, but that’s the point. It works for us and we’re happy. This home is full of so much love and communication. I had to be knocked down to know what I really needed in life. The things I wouldn't settle for. The things I deserved. I hope you can find that one day Steve. I really do.”

“Thanks, doll. I’m pretty sure that ship has officially sailed for me though.” He straightens himself out, Captain persona put back in place.

You give Bucky a look as he places Amara in her highchair. You can’t leave Steve in this state. No matter the pain he caused all of you, there is still love in your heart for him. “Stevie, would you like to stay for lunch?”

“I know Bug would love to get to know her Uncle Stevie.” Bucky states.

You watch a small smile emerge on his face. “I would enjoy that very much.”

#poc reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #light angst #ex steve rogers

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amazzwon · 2 months

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WHAT IS... HOME?

❜ ─ ─ ❛ lee heeseung x fem! reader

╰┈➤ ❝ [angst, non-idol au, one-sided love, friends to strangers]

╰┈➤ ❝ [0.8k words]

╰┈➤ ❝ [cherry blossom; lana del rey]

I was six feet under my thoughts as waited for her by "The Stone Cold" ice cream shop. As the glass entrance opened with customers pushing through, a waft of sweet air contrasted with the evening air. The grey scarf cloaking my neck itched and tickled me; it was a cold November. My breaths turned foggy and my nose dusted crimson.

The cold was as harsh as the reality.

It had been a week since I revealed my truth to her.

"If my name was a word then you are the meaning to it".

That's what I had said, my true being, my pure love, my final chance to prove to her; to tell her that I, Lee Heeseung, am in love with her.

"I-If you will have me," My voice had wobbled, "Meet me in front of our favourite spot at 8 pm?".

I cringed at the memory. Had I sounded more mature, more manly, maybe then she would have given her answer at that moment.

A week passed but my hope did not.

The first time, it did phase me... a lot. I remember being drenched in my sorrow and overflowing eyes that would not open (I changed pillow covers twice that day).

The second time, the ice cream shop owner offered me a free scoop (that melted in my hand cause I was too in my head).

The third time, I took interest in the pebbles by the road and kicked them woefully; but there had been times when my head played games with me, begging me to look up to meet her eyes but she wasn't even there.

The fourth time, I gazed at the clouds.

The fifth time, my heart began playing tricks on me, persuading me to go to her apartment complex; but I was a lover, not a serial killer.

The sixth time, I can't even remember anymore...

The neon pink, "The Stone Cold", sign flickered in contrast to the golden gleaming lamp posts. It looked ugly. The contrast, I meant. Coincidentally, so did my thoughts. The crowd brushed past me, rushing as if they had somewhere to be; that thought made me jealous.

Would she consider me to be a place worth running towards?

Time was ticking; the rush hour stalled. My feet prickled; the freezing temperature swept past me. I stood still; an empty vessel with heartbroken thoughts. The ice cream shop's sign glitched shut, and then the old man (the owner) walked out offering a sad smile at the sad case of a man in front of him. I could hear the man wobbling out of the scene but, my genius envisioned her footsteps approaching me.

There you have it, another day spent on the woman so gorgeous, she turned me ugly with glum hope. My mind tugged me to text her, just one last time. I decided against it.

The buses continued their usual routes. It was a cheap option instead I chose to take me and my pathetic heart for a walk. I shouldn't have; I could have easily saved myself from the nightmares, the embarrassment, my dignity! Yet I watched with my chapped lips parted and eyes widened. She had her arm looped with another man. My eyes flitted from her to her man. Her man? ugh, that word itself made my soul churn.

He whispered something in her ear and she laughed as if she had no care in the world. How brutal could she be! They stood near the signal waiting to cross the road... so she did have a place to rush towards but couldn't she at least stop by to reject me?

Oh no, it was worse. I was the other man...

I collected the few shards of my heart and I turned around with heavy eyes. Walking briskly, I couldn't gaze straight, too stunned to look up anymore. At least, I had memorised the path home. I decided that home was my place to be... but no.

As soon as I thought of home, she flashed across my mind. Her smile, her warmth; she was my sunlight and she was my shade. My walking speed turned obsolete and my vision was hazy. I should have known better than to have such a tremendous amount of longing, I could have spared it to face the world.

Maybe she saw it. She noticed my blind faith, she noticed my unfortunate state of being under her spell and left me to my thoughts. They weren't any better.

I approached my home... oh god, I want to find another word to call the place I rest...

my hand shoved in my pocket to fish out my keys

a warm place...

I finally felt the cold metal ring and pinched the correct key.

a place to laugh...

I tried to connect it to the keyhole but I missed

a place where I could love...

I missed again

a place... where I would stop missing her

The first tear fell before I could even enter my house; the place as cold as November.

#a.d blahblah #enhypen #lee heeseung #enhypen heeseung #heeseung #heeseung enhypen #lee heeseung angst #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen heeseung angst #enhypen fanfic #enhypen angst #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung fluff #heeseung smut

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bratphilia · 7 months

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note ✧.*‎ welcome to my descent into madness aka my first attempt at actually writing something with plot (there will be porn i promise you sickos). anyways this started out as a total daydream bla bla bla yall heard me say this many times before. anyways this chapter is just lore, setup, and foreshadowing for the rest of the story. no mike or william in this chapter bc its really just a flashback.

pairing ✧.*‎ steve raglan / william afton x reader, mike schmidt x reader

cw ✧.*‎ kidnapping, drug use, basically child abandonment, paralysis, manic episode

taglist ✧.*‎ @dilfity @iikyutee @kissingrhi @jen-parker @kathxstuff @papyrus-the-poet @lowballbread @cecelovesbooks @bluebearieally @cybunii @van-van @iamunabletothinkofablogname @1ncidentdropout @ice-echo26 @officially-a-simp13 @all4kura @el-sol-sale-de-nuevo @littlexstarlightx @samlow23 @iikyutee

chapter synopsis ✧.*‎ you're fourteen when fate pushes you over the edge, and fifteen when it gets even worse.

lovelace by hoshikoe ⟶ prologue

you're fourteen when fate pushes you over the edge. freddy fazbear’s pizza, a rinky-dink restaurant geared towards kids, is where you’re forced to occupy one day in july. you’re not here for yourself — far from it — you’re here for your little sister, emmy. she isn’t the type of kid to run up to the creepy, uncanny looking animatronics while they robotically sing and dance, only to be apprehended by a tired employee, but she does love them. she loves them to the point where at least one day, maybe two, is spent at freddy’s over the summer. and guess who has to babysit her since mom and dad can’t make it everyday? that’s right, you!

anyways, back to the present. your eyes burn to stay open. the lack of air conditioning in the restaurant provides for a makeshift blanket. “em,” you say to your sister. her eyes are glued on the stage, humming along to the song the animatronics are “singing” while kicking her feet. she ignores you. “em, if i fall asleep, you need to stay right here.”

“mhm,” she murmurs back, continuing her humming. you roll your eyes. there was a part of you that knew you shouldn’t have trusted her. it was screaming at you internally as loud as it could, but the gripes of tiredness overpowered it with ease.

your eyes open for a second, in complete haze. as they open in the direction of where emmy sat, the chair is vacant. it doesn't immediately raise alarm — you're still halfway asleep — but another glance towards the hallway, the one where the employees seem to be coming from, there's the familiar back of a head walking next to a bright, golden colored character. when you finally wake up, you realize you weren't dreaming. your sister is gone. panicking, you rise up from the table and head off the only direction you can think of: down the hall. you aggressively brush pass other employees, ignoring their remarks, telling you that you can't be back there.

finally, a man forcefully stops you by grabbing your shoulders. "you can't be back here. what are you doing?"

"my sister," you say, not noticing how breathless you are until you start speaking. "my sister — she went back here. i have to find her."

the man raises an eyebrow at you. he's wearing a suit and tie, he must be an owner or something. "no one is back here except for employees, but i can help you find her if you say you saw her go back here." you nod, feeling somewhat assured. you know you saw her back here; she has to be somewhere. the man, who introduces himself to you as henry, tells you to wait back at your table. you do as he says, anxiously anticipating him to come out with your sister.

a flurry of things you would say to her flows through your head, each one more scathing the last. how she shouldn't have run off without telling you, going to a place that was obviously closed off to the public. when henry eventually returned, it was just about closing time. the restaurant was empty of patrons. an employee had asked you to leave, but you explained you were waiting for the owner to return something to you. the sunset cast an orange hue that shone through the windows.

"i'm so sorry," henry had said kindly. "i don't know where she is. i couldn't find her."

your face drops and your heart sinks. your lip trembles. "b-but i can't leave without her."

henry looks at you sympathetically. "let's call up your folks, yeah? don't want you to leave here empty handed, and i'm sure i could help alleviate the situation." you nod, tears forming in your eyes at the thought of your parents finding out about your negligence. you give henry your house phone number and lay your head down at the table. you stare at the abandoned bonnie plushie that sits on emmy's chair. you try to focus on it, its purple fur and red bowtie, instead of thinking about your parents' reaction and emmy's disappearance.

it was your dad that came. he didn't spare you a glance at first, just demanded where his daughter was. it wasn't until a sob escaped your lips that he turned to you. you'll never forget the look on his face, that look of disappointment, resentment even. he grabbed you with a tight grip on your arm and dragged you to the car. the car ride home was silent, your dad's jaw was clenched, white knuckles gripping the steering wheel.

"you useless thing," mom had snarled at you when you got home. "you ruined everything. you wanted this to happen, didn't you?"

you slammed the door and flopped onto your bed. on your side, your eyes were trained on the door to your room. you were waiting for emmy to come bursting through your door any minute now, ready to annoy you about anything she could come up with. but she never came. you stared blankly around your room that night, not sleeping, watching the shadows change and light slowly cast and darken over your room.

you started high school that year. freshman year wasn't anything that special. you actually managed to make it into a popular friend group. it wasn't all it was cracked up to be, though. it wasn't like your friends weren't nice, they were, it's just you felt so detached from reality at times that it was hard to enjoy what they were enjoying. you felt like an outsider looking in your own group. always wondering what the hype was about, wondering what other people could find so funny in the moment.

alicia, who seemed to be the head of the group, asked you what was bothering you so much. she didn't demand it out of you, and she didn't put you on the spot. something about it still put you off. "it's some shit with my family," you had told her, "don't worry about it, i'm fine. really." she looked like she didn't quite believe you, but she left it alone anyways. after that, the group treated you a little differently. you had guessed alicia told them what you said. it's not like they were distant, they seemed to be looking out for you more than usual, actually.

it wasn't until another girl in your friend group, kat, had pulled you aside, that you found a coping mechanism. you followed her into the bathroom. "i'm going to help you feel better," she declared. she pulled you into the larger bathroom stall and reached her hand out after searching for something in her bag. she held out a white tablet in the palm of her hand.

you furrowed your brow, unsure. "what is it?"

"vicodin," she told you, and again, "it will make you feel better."

you spared her a glanced and then took it, dry swallowing it. she smiled. "let's go to class, we have first period together."

it didn't kick in until about when class was over. a woozy, unsteady feeling washed over you. your head felt numb, and suddenly all thoughts about your parents and emmy were gone. that day was the most fun you had in years. you sat with your friends at lunch, completely immersed in their presence for once. you did stupid things to make them laugh, such as asking out a shy boy in your class. you wanted to feel like this everyday. you wanted to hold onto this feeling forever.

it didn't last forever, of course, and it wasn't an everyday thing. which is why you stood in the open doorway of your parents bedroom, age fifteen, in the middle of the night. they had a bathroom inside their bedroom that you planned to sneak into. you knew for a fact your mom had a container of vicodin in her medicine cabinet.

the only thing you could hear as you slipped past their bed, their sleeping bodies, is slight ruffle of your feet against the carpet and the beating of your heart. when you successfully made it to the bathroom, you carefully opened the medicine cabinet, disguised as a mirror, and used a mini-flashlight to search the labels until you eventually found a bottle labeled "hydrocodone." you were slow to take it, not wanting the pills inside to rattle and make a noise, then tiptoed back to your room.

you noticed how breathless you were. your mind raced with "what-if" scenarios. what if your parents caught you with the bottle in your hands? what would they do to you? you could only imagine your mother's harsh words, your dad's look of resentment, and suddenly you're thinking about emmy's disappearance again, and—

you freeze — no — you're frozen. you can't move any part of you. your grip on the pill bottle loosens and it tumbles on the ground. you want to reach out to grab it but you just can't seem to move. it's terrifying. your body horribly leans to the side, too. and then it stops.

you're still out of breath and wondering what the fuck had just happened to you. you abandon the pills, hiding them under your bed, you just can't do this right now. you lay down and stare at the ceiling, that moment replaying in your head over and over. you don't get any sleep that night. in fact, it's a night like the past couple nights, where instead of sleeping, you're ruminating in every little thing, every awkward moment, every mistake.

morning comes sooner than later. you're getting ready for school with your mind still racing. not just about the events of the previous night, or your fault in emmy's disappearance, but about every little thing. it's like your brain is on autopilot, though. you're doing things, putting your clothes on, fuck, even putting makeup on — something that was rare for you. reaching under the bed, you felt giddy. you couldn't wait to go to school today.

before you know it, you're at school, heart racing. you gathered your friends in the bathroom, it's cramped with the five of you in there. it was a little hard for you to get them together, you couldn't necessarily get the words out. it wasn't like you were shy or anything, it's like your mouth tumbled out all the wrong words. your friends look at you expectantly and you present them with the bottle of vicodin. only kat seems to be pleased.

"are you... okay?" alicia asked, a look of concern growing on her face.

you frowned. "i thought w-we could do this together. y'know? have some fun."

"i don't really do that sort of thing," was her response. she prompted the rest of your friends, even kat, out of the bathroom, leaving you there alone. you sunk against the wall, sliding to sit down on the floor. what just happened? you felt embarrassed, but like it was against your will, you popped two pills, and moved on.

it was as fun as you hoped it was. you were elated, actually. and you made a very important decision. randomly, you had decided you were going to go to freddy's and look for emmy yourself. she had to be there right? if no one had found her? there were big, obvious holes in your logic, but that didn't seem clear to you then in that moment. what mattered most to you was getting your sister back, getting your family back together.

you impulsively decided to carry out this plan in the middle of english class, asking your teacher if you can go to the bathroom. you catch alicia's eye as you leave. she offers you a strange look. as you walk out to the gate, someone calls your name. you turn and it's the guidance counselor on your trail.

"what are you doing?" she asked. "nevermind, come with me."

she leads you to the main office, close by the gate. she has you sit down in the waiting room while she dials your home number and calls your dad to pick you up. you barely pay attention to what she's saying until the phrase, "needs to go to the hospital, as soon as possible."

and that's how you ended up in the hospital, monitored by either a nurse or a tech. it's hard to tell, but at least two days go by in the blink of an eye. you refuse to eat, chewing desperately only at your finger nails and peeling off the dry skin from your lip; two anxiety habits you've always had, worsened by your current state of mind.

it's not until you wake up from a three hour nap, the most sleep you've gotten in at least a week, to the voices of your parents talking to a psychiatrist in the room. "...we think it's bipolar disorder. she's showing most symptoms of a manic episode."

"oh great, another thing for us to take care of," your mom says sarcastically. your dad is rubbing his eyes, looking pained. they barely even notice the fact that you're awake.

#fnaf #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's

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thecameronchronicles · 2 years

Text

Spite

TW: Loss of virginity (female), smut. Language. Public sex. Cheating.

SUMMARY: After learning Rafe is using you, you option to give yourself to his enemy simply out of spite…

WORD COUNT: 2300

REQUESTED:

Anonymous asked:

what if reader is a virgin and she’s dating Rafe and he’s always trying to make her lose it with him but she always says she’s not ready (but the thing is she’s not sure about him because she feels he’s hiding something) until one day she finds out he’s only dating her to take her virginity so when JJ is at her house fixing something or whatever she tells him about the whole rafe thing and asks him if he would fuck her because rafe hates him and he hates rafe and it will make him mad

OR they’re not dating but she doesn’t like him because he’s always bragging about how he’s going to be her first and the same ending

Of course you can change it as much as you like it’s just and idea 💘

Spite

You shouldn't be relieved. Believe it, you were still pissed, but you weren't able to deny the breath of ease that came when hearing him tell Topper it was just sex. The sex you refused to give him as you wanted it to be special. Even if it didn't have to be a rented out hotel room from a five star resort adorned with rose petals and champagne, you at least wanted to have that feeling of certainty you never quite had with Rafe. He was too impatient, a kiss quickly turned French and a series of hands always searching beneath your clothes. And the guilt of how patient he had been and how he had earned this had weighed you down to such a degree that you couldn't even find enjoyment for the rare moments of kindness he showed in your makeout sessions. But now, you were free in a sense. Able to allow the pressures of giving your virginity to Rafe to fall silent as you decided he wouldn't get to touch you, let alone fuck you.

But the same couldn't be said for JJ Maybank, a hired hand by Ward, who was currently half bent over the engine of The My Druthers as it had begun sputtering. With his usual deck hand, John B, having having been established elsewhere, his trusted friend had taken his place. And it was the sight of him kissed by beads of sweat and straining as he struggled to adjust the choke as the mechanics beneath had somehow become jammed that made you bite your bottom lip.

This was mainly because JJ Maybank had a reputation. He was the life of the party, a fighter for those he cared deepest for, and a nocturnal lover. All hours spent devoted to his partner. Care and selflessness allowing him a reputation that even if he had ended on horrid terms with the girls, they couldn't lie about how he was in bed. And you saw this even now as he became frustrated with the mechanics of the boat. Where you knew Rafe would tear the thing directly in two or maybe even shoot it, you saw JJ try to almost nurse it beneath his submission. A guide of his fingers on everything he acted on having allowed you mind to conjure them on your body...

"Babe!" Rafe called from the patio. "You're gonna make me late!"

"I'll meet you there." You lied, with no intention of going anywhere with him as you could barely stand to look at him let alone feign being happy as he attended yet another narcissistic event on behalf of his father. And without a care to see if he had actually left the property, you advanced towards JJ.

"Hey there, princess. Mind handing me that?" He asked while pointing to some pliers as you obliged. You and JJ were cordial, but not extremely close. And yet, effortless, whenever a conversation would be produced between you. It happened enough times to know his preference of beer and yours of weather, but nothing deep enough to warrant the confession you were about to make.

"I guess Rafe had a bet with Topper that he could fuck me before the end of the summer..." JJ slipped, his finger becoming jammed in some gear-type mechanism as you watched the pain absent and replaced with intrigue.

"I guess if he did, it was a grand, and if he brought proof, it would have been twenty five hundred..." You kicked your toes softly against the side of the engine.

"That's all my virginity is worth...Two thousand and five hundred dollars."

"You're a..." He became nervous standing before you. Those very nerves were palpable and almost shameless as you had intrigued him, "I would have thought Rafe had-"

"It never felt right. It always felt like he was hiding something from me...And guess now I know..."

He slowly nodded as you saw the light tint of red forming on his hand from the unkind slid made against his skin. Giving you an idea and prompting you to act. Call it curiosity or desperation for revenge, but either way, you optioned for JJ and made these intentions known.

"I don't want Rafe to be the one to fuck me for the first time." JJ's jaw clenched as you set his hand to your lips, a delicate kiss making his mouth part as his eyes darted to Tannyhill.

"I want to feel good about who gets to feel me for the first time JJ...You don't have to love me or anything...I just want you to make me feel good..."

He scoffed. "I uh..."

"And I'll be sure he knows exactly how good you made me feel when I let him take off all of my clothes..." You pushed him back into the captain's chair as he was helpless against you. You were beautiful. Eager. And instigating every second of this. And he was a glutton for all things to do with you. Even if it was a recent revelation, he was consumed by it entirely.

"He will get to touch me...but he'll only taste you on me...a pogue's cum staining his girlfriend's ruined mouth-" He suddenly brought you over him in a straddle.

"This is your first time, and as pretty and dirty as that little mouth is, I'm not gonna come in it." He lifted you onto the captain's chair as he moved onto his knees, rising up to ghost your lips and descend back to the bends of his legs before he spoke.

"I have to get you as wet as possible so if doesn't hurt-"

"Not a problem..." You breathed as he pulled apart your suit to find you already saturated.

"Shit, sweetheart. Is this all for me?" You nodded as he bit his bottom lip. "You been watching me all afternoon and it's gotten you all worked up, hasn't it?" You nodded again.

"Show me. Take your time and show me so I can see just how you like to be touched..." He sat in analysis, watching you for a second before taking over. A set of fingers seemingly trained for your pleasure made circuits around your clit until submitting one to your sex itself.

"Faster-"

"No, sweetheart. I know you're gonna be tight and it's gonna hurt...so I need to stretch you as much as I can-"

"But it feels so good, JJ...plesse..."

"I will in time, baby...just get used to my fingers-"

"Fingers?" You questioned the plural as he set a second adjacent to the first, searching for the most sensitive zone within your wall before massaging thay exclusively.

"Ever had him go down on you?"

"He's too fast."

JJ smirked. "Then consider this a replacement..." He spoke with a grin before pulling your legs over his shoulders and now exchanging his fingers with his tongue.

"So sweet." He growled, leading you closer to the edge of the chair as he led you even closer to him. You were unabashed with your moans, almost hoping wherever Rafe was he could hear how JJ made you feel. Without a need to embellish, the blonde pogue made your back arch and your legs shake in a way you'd never felt before, all while you called out for him. Nameless moans and whimpers drawing you to an edge as his tongue suddenly withdrew.

"I want you to be as wet as you can be so I want you to come on my face. Think you can do that for me, sweetheart?" You nodded.

"I'm close."

"I know..." He kissed your clit softly before alternating your pleasure between his tongue and his fingers as you shook.

"Come for me, princess...." He endorsed, that rush of a contradicting icy heat broadcast between your thighs having left you in tremors over him. But as he expected you to need a moment to recover, you stood and pushed him to the other side of the boat. Straddling over him, you dig your nails into his shoulders.

"Put it in-"

"Sweetheart-"

"Fuck me, JJ. I want it to be you...Please, before I change my mind-" He was hesitant as he knew it would hurt.

"I need some-" He explained as you took only a second to spit on his cock, handling him on perfect corkscrew motions as he moaned beneath you. Your thumb brushed over his tip to luxuriate himself in the precum you'd earned, before you climbed from him and onto your knees.

"Leincess, I-" You took him into your mouth without a second thought. Sucking in your cheeks and producing tears immediately as you showed how you earned this discarding of your innocence.

"How the fuck do you do that so good?!" He cursed as you grinned, a tight grip through your hair having guided you in a slow consumption of his cock to keep the pleasure but to keep him from coming prematurely.

"You get on your knees like this for him?"

You nodded, having done everything under the sun to keep Rafe happy but also at bay. Only to know have ventured to the far side of the moon for your own pressures.

"He doesn't deserve that mouth...To bruise this throat..." He set you back to your feet, "And certainly not your virtue."

"Please, JJ...I'm dripping." His fingers traced between your folds.

"Poor little princess. You are, aren't you?"

"Please, JJ...Please..."

"It's going to hurt."

"I trust you..." You were guided back over him in a straddle.

"Slowly." He explained with one hand wrapped around your lower back and the other aligning him inside of you.

"Slowly- '' He spoke more as a reminder for himself as you took his tip. Your mouth pulled open immediately to the stretch as he continued still. Even though he had been above average, he seemed endless until you'd felt him bottom out. But by the time he had, tears formed in your eyes from the burn of your relinquished virginity.

"You moved me how-" He tried to offer as you set him into the back of the couch set up the side of the boat, wincing through each thrust.

"We can stop-"

"Dont!" You spoke desperately. "Don't...don't stop..."

"You need to relax then princess, you're gonna make me come, you're you're tight around me." You tried to relax and when he sensed you couldn't, he would make you. With a hand to your neck, almost to cradle you, he spun you around your back, thrusts slow but more shallow as hisbhands came to your breasts. The sensation of his teeth and lips manipulating your nipple made you forget of the pain until only pleasure remained, something he noticed as he no longer heard those wincing wisps of discomfort. And yet, he still called for validation.

"You alright, princess?"

"Keep...go-going, JJ...please-"

"Fuck..." He groaned, fingers eating into the fabric of the leather behind you as he had gripped it tighter as he quickened his motions.

"I want you to come again-"

"With me-"

"Baby-"

"With. Me." You spoke in finality as he nodded, head at rest into your neck and shoulder as he led you closer into him. A hand to the back of your neck and another keeping himself from crushing you and you were wrapped around him as he accelerated his speed. And even if you expected it to be swift, he would alternate from fast to slow, deep and shallow, until finally pulling your leg over his shoulder and returning it back down over his hip as he had you bent for him so he could see you entirely exposed for him.

A hand beneath your bikini top would loosen to free and his hands would be quick to amend the chill of the sudden reveal as you groaned beneath him.

"You feel so good...knowing I'm the first is making me need to come for you..."

"Then come for me..." He moved deeper and harder, but kept his consistent speed as you were only able to sound in simple pleas as his sweat dripped onto your own.

"Princess, you're gonna come, I can feel it...And I don't want you to hold back. Scream. Pull my hair. Scratch me until I bleed. I don't fucking care. Just feel good for me and let me make you come. Make me come..."

"JJ!" You belted, drawing lines of desire into his skin before trembling as you created your edge.

"Keep going baby, you're doing so good. Taking such good care of me...shit!"

"JJ!"

"Not gonna last long, baby. You feel too good. Sound too good..." You felt him pull you even tighter.

"Does it hurt this way?" Be asked while leading his hand to your clit. The way your expression deepened into ecstasy prompted your silent response.

"I'm gonna come baby...you can use your hand if you don't want-"

"I want you to drip out of me, JJ...I want to have red marks on my ass from your hand, and swollen lips from your kiss. I want you to have every part of me i have left..."

"Then let me." He groaned, leading you both to that feverish edge until you were climbing down from that second orgasm as he'd basked in that first. But as you moved to adjust, knocking you both off of the west, a series of chuckles would silence as you straddled him on the floor.

“You’re so beautiful…” He explained how you looked so perfect breathless and perspiring at the end of his fingertips. “But definitely worth more than twenty five hundred…and I stole every piece…”

"Do It again."

"I'm gonna need a minute, sweetheart, you nearly sucked me dry..."

"Nearly means you've still got something left-" You led him back between your thighs.

"Oh fuck..." He breathed.

"I want you to take everything JJ…everywhere…" You teased your ass with the soaked head of his cock.

"Everywhere."

"You're gonna be so sore, princess…"

"Good. I want to remember all of this…"

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @camilynn @bethoconnor @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection

#jjmaybank #jj maybank x reader #jjsmut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank #outerbanks #obx #outer banks smut #obxsmut #obx fanfiction #outer banks

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dreamdragoness · 9 months

Text

I saw @jessie-blogs-posts recent release of their Corpse Puppet Au and I can't stop crying! It actually inspired me to make this. I legit cried as I made this. I salute you, @jessie-blogs-posts for making a video that hit me right in the feels. Bravo!

Wally looked on as Howdy and Stacy embraced, happy to see each other again. The Corpse Puppet knew he was making the right choice. He loved Stacy. He did. He will never forget the short time they've spent together when they thought they were married. From the moment where the misunderstanding happened, their first kiss, all the way to where she was willing to give up her life to be with him officially.

But he couldn't do that to her nor to her true groom. Stacy was still young and full of life. He had lost his dreams. He couldn't deny her fulfilling her own for his own selfishness. He cursed his younger self, wishing he had waited until Stacy came of age. Perhaps he would've convinced his father to allow the marriage to happen. If only he wasn't so young and foolish to fall into Julie's trap.

But now, he felt it: peace.

As he turned away, Wally walked over to Frank and whispered to him. "Please officiate their wedding, Frank. After all the trouble I had caused, I want to make things right by them." Frank's eyes widened as he realized what was going on. He smiled approvingly and patted Wally's shoulder.

"Of course, Wally. I may be dead, but I can still officiate a wedding or two."

Wally smiled as he nodded sadly. "And...the paintings I have in the attic. I don't know where I'm going, but please give them to her. As my wedding gift?"

Frank's eyes widened upon hearing this. But he nodded in understanding.

As Wally turned to face the entrance to the church, he heard Stacy call out to him. "Wait! I made a promise."

Hearing her, Wally smiled albeit sadly. Even after he told her that she wasn't his, Stacy was willing to keep her vows. He turned around and spoke to his childhood friend fondly.

"You've kept your promise. You've set me free."

Stacy's eyes widened as Wally removed the ring that caused all of this and placed it in her hand. He then gently closed her hand, making sure she didn't lose it again. Wally then looked back at her. Her hair was loose and a mess. The dress Sally, Poppy, and the other seamstresses had worked so hard on was in tatters. Only the veil, the pearl necklace, and the bouquet that were thrown aside during the fight remained intact.

Poor Stacy looked like she had been through a war. The sight hurt him. She was a bride. She shouldn't look like this on her wedding day. It was all his fault. But now, he can at least fix something.

"Now I can do the same for you."

As Wally released her hand, Stacy realized what he meant. She was free to marry Howdy. But...it also meant goodbye to her dearest friend and the other man she loved once more. Maybe for good. As the corpse groom walked towards the entrance, she looked at her true fiance.

Howdy could see it. She was happy that they were free to be together. And now that Julie was dead and Stacy's "marriage" was null and void, it was possible. But he could also see the hurt in her eyes. A longing to say goodbye. He then looked at the corpse that almost took the woman he loved. He truly didn't seem like a bad person. He just...mixed up. Howdy looked at Stacy and motioned for her to go to him. Seeing this, Stacy smiled at Howdy in gratitude before rushing over to Wally.

"Wait a minute, Lion!"

Hearing his old nickname, Wally turned around and found himself in a tight hug with Stacy. It caught him by surprise at first, but soon he embraced her back. A proper goodbye this time. But then he felt something small and wet make contact with his shoulder. His eyes widened as he asked Stacy a question.

"Are...are you crying, Cherry Tomato?"

The redhead, hearing her nickname, tightened her grip as tears flowed non-stop from her eyes. She managed to speak, but in a whisper so that only Wally could hear.

"I...I know you have to go. But...it still hurts. I have feelings for Howdy, yes. But I love you, too, Wally. That's why it was easier for me to agree to end my life when I heard he was to marry someone else. You're my best friend. My childhood playmate. And even though it wasn't official, you were my husband. You have shown me so much both in our youth and in the Land of the Dead. I...I can't help but fear that..." She sniffed, trying to control her sorrow.

"...that I'll never...ever...see you again."

Hearing her words, Wally began to cry. He knew it was time. He was ready. But to leave the woman who truly loved him behind and in this state? It was already hard enough. Why did saying goodbye have to be so hard? Amidst his tears, he smiled as he pulled away to look at her tear-stained face. He cupped her cheek, wiping away a tear before kissing her on her cheek.

"I know it's hard. But remember what Barnaby said? 'We all end up the remains of the day.' I'm certain we'll see each other again. But...but live your life to the fullest first. Never fear what's ahead. There is so much for you to experience. Things I could never experience because of my foolishness." He then sniffled as he whispered in her ear once more. "Live your life, Stacy. We may have not been officially married, but I was happy when you became my wife. Even so, know that I will always love you."

Stacy bit her lip as Wally pulled away from her. He was right. She had a lot of life to live. She wanted to explore her passions and live her dreams. Change things so her children will not suffer like she, Howdy, and Wally did. And he was right. They will see each other again. It was just...going to take a long time.

She watched as Wally smiled at her once last time before looking to Howdy. The caterpillar raised an eyebrow but smiled as Wally made a request of him.

"Please take care of her for me."

Howdy nodded as he approached his bride-to-be. He stopped a few steps, allowing the final goodbyes to take place. Wally, thankful, nodded to Howdy before looking back at Stacy. There were tears in his eyes, but his love for her still showed like stars as his body vanished into hundreds of blue butterflies.

Stacy cried more as she saw her friend, her "first husband" evaporate beautifully. She knew he was going to be alright. She just wished she could stop the tears. Suddenly, one of the butterflies turned away from the flock and landed on her cheek, a teardrop soaking its head. Stacy couldn't help but smile. She knew this was Wally saying goodbye one more time. A butterfly kiss to tell her that he loved her and always will.

As the butterfly took off to rejoin its flock, Howdy approached her, wrapping her in a comforting embrace. Stacy smiled at him despite the tears. She knew she was going to have to explain everything. The only thing she'd keep secret was that she had given Wally her first kiss. That was a cherished memory she'll take to her grave.

The couple watched on in each other's embrace.

One day, they'll see the Corpse Puppet again.

-----------------------------

I kid you not! I legit cried as I was creating the whole thing! From the drawing to the story, tears were non-stop. I had gone through an entire box of tissues already! ToT

Au belongs to: @sketchquill (Get your tissues ready.)

#original character #crossover #welcome home au #corpse puppet au #corpse bride #welcome home #This whole thing made me cry!#finale #sad goodbye #butterfly #broken heart #love's goodbye #welcome home wally #corpse groom #corpse wally

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azaleaniath · 1 year

Note

hiya bestie!! if you are up for it, can you write something abt fem!human!reader who is friends with the sully kids but neytiri doesnt like her. then one day, neteyam asks abt her family since shes seen theirs and she brings her tablet from the lab and shows the sully family videos of her mother and siblings from earth and the reader gets emotional since she hasnt seen them and probs wont see them for a while. then neytiri, altho still weary of the reader, understands her pain as a child w/o family with her and comforts the reader

Here u go! I know it took a long fucking time but hey, better late than never!

~ Platonic!Sully!family x human!reader ~

Acceptance

warnings: depression, loneliness, bit of angst, intolerance, angst, crying, brief mentions of death

SFW | 1.4k

~~~~~~~~~~

Growing up on Pandora was wonderful. After all, what was not to like? The colorful flora, bioluminescent animals and plants all over the planet, delicious fruits growing on gigantic trees with complex bark patterns. As deadly as they were, the beasts on here were simply stunning and breathtakingly beautiful. The indigenous, the Na'vi, were usually quite peaceful, at least the omaticaya tribe. They only took what they really needed from their natural habitat, making sure to not let any fiber go to waste. Treating everyone equally, they did not care about money, wealth, expensive cars or corruptive banks and companies. Everybody had their duties in the clan, but they did not judge off of meaningless papers, bachelor titles or anything that would qualify a human for a job. Truthful, caring, a big blue family. That was what the omaticaya were. There was no greed for power, no yearning for a sudden status, no society classes. This place was simply perfect. You had this astonishing, mostly untouched environment all around you, had made some friends too and spent almost every day with them. There was nothing more to ask for. Nothing, really.

Nothing but a family.

You hadn't seen your mother in years. Nor your father, your siblings. There wasn't one sign of life. Sometimes it still tugged on your heartstrings. Especially when you saw the Sullys sitting together for dinner. Spider had always told you not to stare too long. He knew the pain since he was in a similar situation. It was always devastating to leave the Sullys in the evening, see them living together as a happy family when you and Spider had to return to the lab, your so called home, gulping down the loveless and plain, industrial made microwaved instant food before heading to your cold metal bunk bed, all alone.

Once again you walked deep into the forest, bringing Lo'ak, Kiri and Tuk back to their home. Their parents had also just returned from a successful hunt, together with their oldest son. He was carrying the shot animal over his shoulders, greeting you with a smile. He was always relieved to see his siblings returning home in one piece.

Jake also greeted you shortly. "Hey kids, had fun?" he asked in english just before entering the marui they lived in and putting his bow down.

"It was good, yeah!" You answered quickly and watched how they all settled down and started to prepare their dinner.

Neytiri silently glanced at you and Spider, her eyes narrowed at the sight. Sky people were something she could probably never come to terms with. It always felt like a stab through the chest to see her almost disgusted and bitter visage. As if you and Spider personally were the enemy. With a frown you averted your eyes, feeling a hand on yout back soon after. It was Kiri, she tried to lift your mood with soft whispers. "You know she doesn't hate you. Don't take it to your heart, it's not you..."

"It still feels... shitty to say the least. You have your perfect little family and I-"

"Hey! No demon language in my home! You shouldn't be here in the first place!" Neytiri snapped at your words, making you stumble backwards with wide eyes.

Jake decided to chime in too and keep his wife back before anything could escalate. "Hey, she hasn't done anything. I started it, okay?"

The last thing you wanted was for them to fight over whether you belonged here or not so you took another step back.

"No, Neytiri is right. This is your family, not mine. You can be lucky to have each other around you every day, but I'm not a part of that. It's okay, I'll go. I'm sorry for coming here..."

~~~

A few days passed by ever since this had happened. You were avoiding the clan ever since, not wanting the Sully kids to get into trouble because of the time you usually spent with them. It lead you to simply stray through the forest by yourself until suddenly someone ripped you back by your shoulders. Before you could even scream you faced a bright smiling Neteyam, staring at you through the glass of your mask. This boy was seriously so silent you hadn't even noticed him until then.

"You're way too careless to wander through the forest by yourself, let me get you back." Once the shock was over, your pulse started to calm down again and he started to lead the way to the lab. Neteyam used the time to ask you a few questions about your family. Where they lived, how they lived, why they weren't here with you and so on. Since it was already getting late you decided to leave the explanations to another time. His sudden interest definitely hit you like a truck. These questions were simply unexpected but after what had happened a few days before he found himself rethinking your words. How was life without a family? Both of you agreed to meet the next day to give him answers to all of his questions. You had to sleep a night and gather your thoughts before you could answer all his countless questions.

~~~

Neytiri hated this idea. You here in her home, with her children, with some kind of sky people technology. As much as you could you tried to ignore her aggressive staring as you hugged your tablet with both arms, surrounded by the sully kids.

"So, your family is on earth right?" Neteyam started carefully, seeing how stressed you were. He did feel somehow guilty for getting you into this situation but it was only fair if they learned about you too.

You nodded at his question and looked up into the sky. Not that you could see the sky through the rainforest, but you still did it somewhat unintentionally. "Yeah, they are."

Kiri looked at Neteyam, Lo'ak and then at you before speaking "Can you see them? Over these video thingies?"

Oh that would be a dream. But it wasn't possible at all.

"No, sadly not."

"But hey, you still have us, don't you?" Lo'ak tried to lift the mood but Neytiris piercing look after his words made you feel anything from being one of them. You furrowed your brows, looking down onto your tablet.

"No..." you whispered barely audibly, voice becoming all shaky before words just started to spill from your lips.

"It's not the same. You have your own family. Mine lives far away, and as a matter of fact I don't even know if they are still alive. My planet is falling apart. I don't know if I'll ever see them again. I don't even know how many years have passed since I've seen my family and I'm also not sure if they would even recognize me or see me as their daughter anymore. Maybe they have forgotten me and i will probably never know. All i have- all the memories, they only feel like a distant dream. You come home to a meal made with love by your mother and sit together, sing songs, get hugged and whatever while I am alone in my bedroom wondering what my mom's voice sounds like cause I can't fucking remember!"

During your rant, all eyes had landed on you. Everybody looked shocked at your sudden outburst, even Neytiri. They all watched how your eyes filled with tears and soon after spilled over. The kids were too stunned to get a single word out while Neytiri slowly stepped closer, kneeling down next to you.

She placed a soft hand on your back and ran her delicate fingers along your spine while her eyes softened more and more.

"Do you...have any memories on there?" It surprised you when she switched to english, so you turned your head to her. Neytiri gestured towards the tablet and you hesitantly unlocked the device. Neteyam, Lo'ak, Kiri and also Tuk came closer to you, watching as you opened a file of pictures. After revealing the first image, you held the tablet a few more inches away so everyone could have a look.

"So..." you started quietly, feeling your heart squeeze at the mere look. Neytiri kept stroking over your back as the corners of your lips turned up into a sad smile.

"This is my sanok."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🏷️list: @luvlykrispy @zatarias-pandora @vviolaswrld @yeosxxx @lilgurlbeoncrack @philiasoul @itszzmoon @simp4ff @itsnotme02 @et-j-art @lovekeeho @mayhemories @cavvedin @ducks118 @lov3rluna @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @wowimsofelle @cumikering @abbersreads

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coldfanbou · 1 year

Text

Manor

Yeah, so I'm gonna start another series.

Length 2K

Hwasa x Mreader

Next Part

You moped around in bed, thinking about where your relationship went wrong. You had spent last night and all of this morning mourning the death of it. The previous day you had found your girlfriend, Jennie, cheating on you. You went to her home to surprise her and found her in bed with another man. Instead of beating him, instead of making a scene, you simply slammed the door. You told her little sister to pass along the message as you made your way out.

From then on, you stayed in your bed. A knock at the door, but you don't respond. Another knock follows, "Young master, are you alright? You're not ill, are you?"

"I'm fine." You respond just loud enough to be heard.

"You've been in your room all day. Wouldn't you like something to eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

You hear the sound of the maid unlocking the door and opening it. Glancing at the door, you spot head maid Taeyeon. "Young master, at the very least, you should get up to greet the new hires. They've met your parents and the other staff members already." Taeyeon steps toward you and removes the covers that hide most of your head from view. She gasps as she sees your bloodshot eyes with tears running down your cheeks. "Young master, what's wrong?"

"It’s nothing, Taeyeon." You turn over to face away from her.

She places a hand on your shoulder, "is this about your relationship with lady Jennie?"

"I said it's nothing, Taeyeon."

"I hate to see you like this young master. It's my duty to take care of you. Why don't you talk to me about it? It'll make you feel better." Something about Taeyeon's calm and warm voice made you think about her offer. After a couple of minutes, you turn over.

"Jennie cheated on me."

"She did what?"

"I visited her home and found her in bed with someone else. I just walked away and told her sister to pass on the message."

"Oh, young master, I'm sorry you had to endure that." Taeyeon pats your head as she continues. "You shouldn't have had to go through that. You did so much for her. Well, she doesn't know what she's lost. You're a good man, who any woman would be lucky to be with."

"Thanks, Taeyeon. I don't feel like going down to visit the new hires right now because of it, so I'll stay here.

"If you don't go down there to meet them, I'll bring them up to meet you. It's your choice." Despite technically being the master, Taeyeon had watched you since you were a child and still treated you as one.

"Alright, alright. I'll come down."

"I'll help you get dressed." Taeyeon stands and heads to your dresser to pick out some clothes for you. Deciding on something simple, she picks a t-shirt and shorts. "You're just introducing yourself; you don't need to wear anything too nice." She explained. As you stripped out of your worn and dirty clothes, Taeyeon handed you her chosen pieces and threw yours into the hamper. She watched intently as you dressed, complimenting you as you finished. "That’s good. You look great. Young master, let's head down."

Making your way down, you see five young women following maid Hwasa out of the dining room. Hearing someone make their way downstairs, Hwasa looks up to see you and Taeyeon coming down. "Oh, master, Taeyeon. You've come down." Looking at the women, Hwasa guides them into a line. "Introduce yourselves to the master."

"Young master, Hwasa." Taeyeon corrected. Being here the longest and watching over you from a young age, Taeyeon only referred to you as young master.

"Young master," Hwasa said with slight irritation in her voice. Looking back at the new hires, Hwasa said, "Anyway, please introduce yourselves, you can go first, and the rest of you can follow." Her hand motioned to the lady next to her.

"My name is Chou Tzuyu. It's nice to meet you, young master." Tzuyu reached out to shake your hand, only for her hand to be lightly slapped.

"You are not to touch him. Prove yourself as a worthy maid, and then you'll be allowed to. If given approval by the young master, that is." Hwasa explained. Tzuyu nodded her head and cast her eyes down to the floor. "Next."

"I'm Jang Wonyoung. A pleasure, young master."

"I'm Shin Yuna. Eager to serve you, young master."

"I'm Kim Jiwoo, but I also go by Chuu. Nice to meet you!" Chuu said in an infectious voice. Her smile was shining bright.

"I'm Kim Yewon, but you can call me Umji."

"It’s nice to meet you all. I look forward to seeing how well you do." You give them a slight nod.

"Taeyeon, would you mind finishing the tour? The master and I had agreed I would help his son with something." Hwasa asks in a brief moment before you turn around.

"I don't recall him ever mentioning something like that, Hwasa."

"He didn't? I thought he would have told you."

"It’s fine; I'll take over," Taeyeon says in a huff before leading the women into another room.

Hwasa takes your arm and leads you back to your room. "What's this about Hwasa? What does the old man want?."

"He saw how down you were and thought you needed something to cheer you up."

"It's like I told Taeyeon, I'm fine, Hwasa."

"Orders are orders, master." As you reach your room, Hwasa pushes you in and locks the door behind her. Stripping out of her uniform, you can't pull your eyes away. Her modest breasts come into view first, perky with little brown nipples. Her tanned skin is smooth, with toned muscles easily visible. Hwasa's maid outfit hits the floor, and you look down at her wide hips, small landing strip bush, and thick thighs. "I know what you went through, and you don't deserve that, master." Hwasa walks to you and begins to kiss your neck. Her smooth lips move to your ear while her hands pull at your shorts. "Master, let me make you forget your pain, even if only for a few minutes." She snakes her hand into your boxers as she gets your shorts off. Cock in hand, she begins to stroke it slowly. You groan, Hwasa's gentle grip on your cock feeling like heaven. "That’s it, master, let me hear you."

"Hwasa, that feels so good."

"I'll show you just what I can do." Hwasa falls to her knees, gripping the waistband of your underwear, and she pulls them off until your cock springs free. Hwasa is slapped by your cock, and as she opens her eyes, she's shocked to see how big it is. "You're so big. I didn't realize." Hwasa takes your cock in her hand again, stroking the shaft. She plants a kiss on the tip, making you moan. Hwasa closes her eyes as she takes the head of your cock in her mouth. She savors the taste as her tongue slowly swirls around the head; without thinking, she starts to bob her head. Her lips stretch to be able to accommodate your size. Hwasa places one hand on your thigh while the other starts to massage your balls. You moan her name as she continues her actions.

"Hwasa, I'm going to cum soon if you keep doing that."

Hwasa leaves your cock with a pop; saliva drips from her chin. "That’s okay, master, cum whenever you want. I'm here for you." Hwasa holds your shaft; she strokes your cock while suckling on your balls. Once she's caught her breath, she returns to your cock and bobs her head again. You feel your balls tighten as Hwasa's warm mouth surrounds your cock.

"I'm cumming, Hwasa." Hearing your words Hwasa plunges her head to the base of your cock. Your cum fills her mouth and runs down her throat. Hwasa's eyes roll into the back of her head for a moment as she relishes tasting your cum. Once Hwasa knows you're finished, she pulls away, wiping her mouth with her finger to ensure she didn’t miss anything.

"Let's continue, master." You just nod along. As you lay down and strip off your shirt, Hwasa positions herself over you. She rubs your cock against her wet folds, gently moaning. Hwasa's juices run down her thigh; she's just as aroused as you are. Without another word, Hwasa plunges herself onto your cock. Your moans film the room soon after. "You're filling me up with your big cock, master." Hwasa's hands land on your chest as she supports herself. Your hands reach down to her thighs, squeezing them before you move up to her ass and do the same. Hwasa laughs, "If you ever need to relieve yourself, you're always welcome to use me, master. If you'd like, you could take my anal virginity next time." The idea arouses you, and Hwasa feels your cock get harder inside her. "Oh, you like that, don't you?" Hwasa begins to bounce on your cock; each time, moans spill from the two of you. "Please thrust," she begs. You start to thrust your hips to meet her. You go further into Hwasa now that you're thrusting. Hwasa kneads one of her breasts and has her eyes closed. You watch her breasts rise and fall as she continues to ride you. You're momentarily mesmerized by the sight before you; unconsciously, you lean up and take her other breast into your mouth. As you suckle on her breast, you focus on the pleasure of being inside Hwasa.

The warmth and tightness of her pussy, her walls are clenching down on your cock. Every thrust splits apart her walls, and as your cock becomes covered in her juices, your thrusts become quicker. Hwasa's breathing becomes faster as her orgasm nears. You leave behind Hwasa's breast and capture her lips, kissing her. Hwasa's eyes shoot open as she feels your lips on hers. The sudden expression triggers her orgasm; Hwasa pulls you further into the kiss as she grinds on your cock while she orgasms. Her tightening pussy forces your orgasm, and you begin to fill Hwasa with your cum. Your hands grip her ass roughly, leaving an imprint of your hand. You and Hwasa remain intertwined far past the end of your orgasms. She's the first to break the kiss, "I loved that,"

"I loved it too, Hwasa." You kiss her again. Hwasa returns it. Soon enough, however, Hwasa starts to get up.

"I have to finish the rest of my duties, master."

"Of course. Thanks, Hwasa." Hwasa gets dressed and leaves you alone. After a moment, you gather some clothes and go take a shower. Along the way, you have to pass your parent's room, where you overhear them arguing.

"He has to get married at some point. He's a grown man, and we aren't exactly spring chicken, Honey."

"I know, but we can't force him into a marriage. He should be able to choose who he wants to marry."

"If that bitch hadn't been such a slut, things would've been much easier. We could pass everything on to him and leave this all behind."

"Calm down, calm down. There's still plenty of time. I'm sure he'll find someone."

"Who? Who would he find so soon?"

"That’s why I had some older staff released and hired those young women. I'm sure one of them could pique our son's interest."

"You're right; I'm sure one of them should be able to." Their conversation grew quiet after that. You continued to the bathroom to think about this new information. The new hires were here to try and get you to marry them. Thoughts ran through your head. Did they know that was their purpose? It made sense with Yuna; her word choice was much more suggestive than you thought. As you showered, you continued to think about this new situation, unaware that someone was watching.

#hwasa smut #mamamoo smut #kpop smut #m reader #male reader

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almostgigi · 9 months

Text

"I Know The End"

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, angst everywhere, crying, yelling, unrequited love, light use of y/n, heartache. So fucking sorry!! Also Eddie throws some mean comments so, mean!Eddie but almost not.

Summary: Reader confesses to bestfriend!Eddie, but he stands there and, after a few seconds, he turns around and leaves. Poor reader’s heart is shattered and her only company are her sorrows. Seeing him again would be a challenge.

wc:2.9k

Eds and I were friends for a long time now. We met at school when I was just the new kid with big hopes and dreams and they seemed to go to hell on the second day there. A group of boys from the basketball team harassed me and made me cry, but it was ok, cause my hero came to rescue me.

“¡leave her alone you assholes! She’s a lady, ¿what the fuck are you doing treating a lady like this? That just speak of how little your dicks are, no men that deserves respect would do this” he had said. Somehow, he broke those guys egos and they left me alone forever. I haven’t heard a word from their mouths ever again. Not to me at least. They were afraid he would come at them if they did.

He was now my best friend, confined to love me for eternity and beyond, and so was I. We started hanging out, and then hanging out more until there was no time we spent separated. Nights talking, drinking, smoking. Evenings of coffee and cookies, mornings of jogging and laughing at how funny Eddie runs. Days after days where our trust in each other was stronger and our bond was even unbreakable. He knew my house, he met my dad, I knew his place and had met Wayne. There was nothing we didn’t tell each other; I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. Well, everything except for one thing; my eternal and utter love for him.

There was a point in my life where I started to see him differently, I don’t know when that was because suddenly I realized most of the time I thought about him, or I would dream with him, maybe even pay more attention to his gestures. But I know exactly when was the exact moment I knew I was inevitably in love with Eddie.

We were in his trailer, I stayed the night. We already had dinner and were watching a movie in his couch, my legs resting on his lap, one of his hands caressing me every now and then. Some shitty horror movie was on but I was lost in my head. Suddenly I look at Eddie who was very invested in the movie, and I notice his lashes are longer than last time I saw them. He’s always been a fan of horror movies to the point where they made them laugh at some moment. And when he did I looked at his lips and I mentally slapped myself for even looking at something that shouldn't be important to me. But his smile was beautiful, and his laughter made his chest rise and fall quickly. His chest, I wanted to sleep in it, I knew it was the most comfortable and his heart rang in my ear when he did. And suddenly I imagine myself kissing him, it was only a second that flew in my mind, but it was enough to make me move in my place trying to get that thought out of my head, it wasn't right.

“everything ok sweetheart?” he asked.

“y-yes, I was just sleepy” I invent an excuse worth having thought of such a thing.

“oh, in that case, let’s go to bed. I’m sleepy too, I was just comfortable” he giggles and I die inside. He’s mesmerizing. “I’ll feed the cat and we’ll go to bed, alright?”.

“yeah, sure. I wanna say goodbye to Moonlight please” a stray cat we often fed and we decided to name after a few months.

“course honey. Here you go Moonlight, but first...” he picked the cat up in his arms. “mommy wants to say goodbye” his words went straight to my fast-beating heart. I kissed the kitty on the head and scratched behind his ears a little. Then he went to eat as Eddie puts him down. “now we’re done for today. I’ll close everything and you go put your pjs, alright?” I nodded and went to his room. Room we often shared when I stayed the night. We were already comfortable enough to sleep together, but that night was different. “you ready? It’s freezing cold outside, good thing I got the heater last week, although I’m warmer when you hold onto me” he lets a snort out and I wonder what he’s thinking about.

“you use me for my heating service” I say in a playful tone.

“oh darling, you wound me, I’ll never hurt you anyway possible” his arms wrap around me and the cold weather is left behind as we warm each other, our bodies intertwined, also our legs. “I’ll see you tomorrow baby, good night” his voice in a whisper.

“good night Eds”.

I realized I wanted common and simple life only if it was with him. Just him and I and out little Moonlight against the world. Pay the bills and make dinner, go to sleep under a million covers and hug forever in the bed. Wake up together jsut like we always do and kiss under the light of the kitchen when I’m making breakfast.

And I would of loved it if that night wasn’t only my awakening, but his too. It would have been a dream come true if he realized he actually loved as me more than just a best friend while our bodies were wrap together. But it didn’t, it was just a normal night for him. To me, it was my whole heart exploding into a million pieces like fireworks.

I can’t blame him for not feeling what I felt all this time, that would be just pathetic of me. Plus, I can’t really hate him even if I tried my very best. So I had gathered my guts and I’ve put them close to my mouth so I could say what I’ve been meaning to say for a long time. It was easy, right?

I love you.

I’ve been loving you for a real good time.

I love you with my soul.

Nope, it wasn’t easy. Just thinking about it makes me wanna throw up. There are many ways this could go.

1- He loved me too (I’m waiting is this one and this one only so we can be Mr. and Mrs. Munson someday)

2- He loves me like a friend and nothing more but eventually falls for me (I fell first but he felt harder)

3- He doesn’t love me and never will (I’ll probably go sleep on the highway)

4- He hates me and never wants to speak to me ever again.

¿See? Those are good options. Well, not good if he doesn’t love me back but at least they’re realistic. And as you can see, I didn’t say

5- He stays quiet with a blank stare and then leaves without saying a word like a fucking psycho.

Which, if you wanna guess, is exactly what he did. Maybe it was a reflex, or the best he thought at the moment, but he knows me like the palm of his hand and he knew that would hurt me.

This night was almost exactly like the night I realized I loved him. Him and I and a movie we didn’t know. Moonlight was already ours, so he was inside in his tiny bed. I did not think, that would have made it harder, I just said it.

“Eddie, I love you” I spit.

“I love you too, dummy” he thinks I tell him I love him like I normally would.

“No Eds... I love you” I say the mid word in a different tone so that he understands what love I meant. The hand that was holding my leg finally lets go and goes back to his lap. His eyes are astronomically big right there and then, he can’t believe it. What can I say? I’m good at hiding stuff. He stares a couple seconds more and then he just gets up, grabs his keys and leave. Leaves my house like millions of other times, but this one feels wrong. Feels like he’s never coming back through that door. Feels like a thousand cuts in my heart and he didn’t even say goodbye.

I curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep. Inside my head I keep reliving the moment he leaves me and I sob uncontrollably until I have no more tears left to cry and I try my best to rest.

“It’s been three days, rob, three fucking days. He’s never been away from me that long, he’s not going to be my friend anymore, that’s it” I was convinced he was gone and everything in between us both would stay forever unspoken, broken.

”Darling, you need to give him time, he’s a man, they can’t process information fast, look at dingus” one movement of her head leads me to look at Steve who’s moving some boxes around the house.

”Huh?” he says, he heard his name.

“See? Living proof” she jokes. We both laugh and keep helping him around.

”You moving out?” I ask given the thousand boxes he’s carrying.

“I wish, no. I’m just moving this to the garage. Some things I no longer need. I’ll take them to charity tomorrow morning” he leaves one on the floor and shows us some clothes and toys from when he was a little boy.

“Here, I’ll help you organize them” maybe that way would be more easy and fast.

“Go nuts baby” his smile is wide and I spend my evening with them, having a good time and forgetting about anything else.

Monday mornings were absolutely disgusting to me. I could barely drag my feet out of the bed and make coffee. School wasn’t any better, and without the best of my friends I can say it would be a shitty day.

“Maybe he has been thinking and came to the fact that he loves you but he’s waiting to tell you when you’re alone” Peter, one of my friends, says trying to cheer me up.

“Or he hates me for ruining our friendship and he’ll rather die struck by lightning than see me again” me being a pessimist was absolutely normal by now.

“Or there’s that too” I give Peter a dead stare. “What? You said it” I shake my head and keep eating.

By the time we had to leave I couldn’t find Eddie nowhere. He wasn’t at lunch in the cafeteria and he wasn’t in his respective classes. He wasn’t in the library either so I had only one place more to look. Old drama classroom where he and the guys would have hellfire reunions was close on my way out so I step aside and knocked. It seemed like nobody was in there but I could see the lights on. I stepped inside not even wanting to knock again. He was sitting in his throne observing the nothingness and thinking I assume.

“Sorry, I saw the lights and went in. Couldn’t find you anywhere” I explain to him, as he lifts his gaze to connect it with mine.

“Mhm” It’s the only thing he says. He doesn’t speak, just hums.

“I’ve been looking for you, wanted to talk you know?” I launch an attempt to touch on the subject.

“about?” he tries to avoid it, obviously.

“don’t play dumb, you know about what” I spit. No time for rodeos.

“It’s not a big deal, don’t bother” the way he talks, he’s never done it before.

“¿It’s not a big deal? ¡Of course it’s a big deal! I told you I love you for God’s sake ¿How is that not a big deal?” tears already threatening to come out of my eyes.

“I didn’t intend to hurt you” yeah sure.

“but you did, you stood there like a ghost and never said a word, which I can almost understand because you weren’t expecting it, but then you proceeded to avoid me for days when we always spend them together, that I can’t understand. I refuse to, actually” my stomach hurts, like a million butterflies dying.

“you know I hate awkward situations, I don’t know how to handle them. What did you expect, really?”

“I don’t know, but certainly not avoiding me, that’s not the answer to any problem” I raise my voice a little, a hot rage coming from me was palpable in the air.

“well I’m sorry if I can’t be the perfect guy you want me to be. Apparently I’m some kind of imbecile since I can’t take correct decisions” he’s fully screaming at me now. I want to cry like a baby.

“you’re being idiotic Eddie, you’re missing the point. I came here to make things better, not to fight” I hold both my arms with my own hands to give me some kind of comfort.

“pretty fucking nice we’re treating each other, ¿don’t you think?” still loud, the vocabulary extends a little.

“we’re losing the thread of the conversation, please” I try my best to calm down as it’s not going well and I’m making him react the worst possible, and that makes me wanna cry even more.

“¿What do you want from me?” he’s tired, almost as if talking to me devastated him. Made him feel empty.

“¿From the bottom of my heart? For you to love me like I do. But I know I can’t force you to do it, so I want you to be clear, honest. I need to hear you at least, cause being away from you it’s killing me” the sweet sound of his voice was like caramel to my ears. I loved to hear him talk about his likings and everything he did say during the day. These past four-to-five days were torture. Not being able to hear him, his laugh or just him complaining about a song or movie he hates and had to see cause Wayne wanted to at dinner table.

“I just- I don’t feel like that y/n” and just like that my world fainted. I knew he probably didn’t like me back. But hearing him say it is actually really hurtful.

“Okay... Yeah, that’s what I needed. See? That wasn’t so bad” tears roll down on my face, from my cheeks to end in my lips, where I taste them, salty.

“it’s not okay, you’re hurt now, you’re hurt cause I don’t love you like a woman” his hands are in the air, every movement defining his uncomfortable behaviour.

“I lived before being unloved by you even as a friend, I’m not gonna die without your love” I state my point as a ‘I don’t care if you don’t love me back’ even when I do.

“so you don’t want us to be friends anymore?” almost a question, almost an statement.

“that’s not what I said, c'mon”

“you said that if you didn’t have my friendly love you would live anyways”

“yes, but do you know how fucking much that would hurt? Eddie, I rather have you as a friend than not have you at all” my brows frowning as I plead with my eyes. I plead that he understands how much I love him as a friend first and then whatever this is. “I can live without being loved by you, but I can’t live without you in my life” I take his hands in mine, he flinches at first, then he let’s me take them. “you’ve been my person all this damn time, you’ve been there for me and we’ve been each other’s comfort. I can’t lose you. A world without you in it is a world I don’t wanna live in. A little heartache won’t kill me, I’ve been there before. Loosing you will, looking at you and not being able to talk to you. Seeing you from afar and thinking I can’t tell you to come watch a movie, to hear a new song with me. Walk through the forest with you or go to parties just to drink and dance then go for a burger and home like old people. Smoking together and sharing the most stupid thoughts, laughing so hard it hurts, but good. That would kill me” the sudden feeling of his hand on my cheek makes me go black instantly. Forgetting my love for him would be the hardest I’ll ever had to do. But it had to be done.

“I’ll eventually come back to you, I know. But I’m not ok, I never meant for this to happen and I feel responsible. Hope you can forgive me and give me the space I need, I’ll come back to you when I’m better, when I’m not feeling guilty or like I could break your heart even more for being close to you, with any gesture of mine” all of his insecurities about this were showing finally, and I felt like I broke the most pure thing I had in my life. I should of kept my mouth shut. He leaves again, this time I just know he ain’t coming back, cause I’m not gonna look for him like today. I interrupted his space to see him, that’s not gonna happen again. He prefers not to keep me, that’s okay, I’ll learn to live like this. Wish I wasn’t crying like I just lost my life.

#eddie x fem!reader #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #stranger things #eddie x y/n #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader

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