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wizardimagines · 4 years

Note

i really want a very VERY angst draco x reader where like.. basically draco get SO jealous that the reader has been helping ron study and they get into a huge argument with the prompts 2, 6, 15, 21, and 7. if this is a lot i’m very sorry but something along those lines is what i crave lmao. i hope you’re doing good and thank you if you even read this!

pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count: 2,1k summary: you and ron becomes closer as you help him study, draco doesn’t take this new relationship well. a/n: oh my… now this is some angst . writing this made me so sad, however, there will be a part 2 ! it’ll probably be out tomorrow. thank u so much for this amazing request, it was so much fun to write even though it completely broke my heart </3 READ PART 2 HERE warnings: TW !!! mentions cheating, slight physical abuse prompts: 2. i saw you with him 6. don’t lie to me 7. you really made me believe you were mine 15. you’re lying and you know i know 21. i gave you every piece of me

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

You always twirled your hair around your index finger as you spoke to Ron. You also laughed a lot more around Ron, you always wore the biggest smile whenever he was around. Draco noticed all of it, and he absolutely despised it. There was nothing he hated more than the Golden Trio and seeing you get along so well with Ron made Draco want to literally snap the red-haired boys head off. It had all started when you agreed to help Ron study in one of the classes you two shared. It wasn’t such a big deal, to begin with. Sure, Draco did truly hate it but he knew you were just being friendly.

Then it went from you two studying to becoming actual friends. You would give each other a small smile when you passed one another in the halls, even stopping to exchange a few words every now and then; even when Draco was there with you. Draco had expressed his hatred for your friendship multiple times, but nothing really changed. You two were still friends.

Today was no different. You and Ron were leaving potions together, walking down the halls. ‘’So Y/N,’’ Ron said as you walked out the classroom. ‘’Are you coming to Hogsmeade tonight?’’ A hopeful look plastered on his face as he asked. ‘’Let me guess,’’ You said, furrowing your eyebrows as if you were thinking really hard. ‘’You, Harry, and Hermione are going to The Three Broomsticks?’’ You asked, causing the corners of Ron’s mouth to curl into a small smile. ‘’I’m afraid you’re right,’’ He chuckled. ‘’And we would love it if you came along.’’

Ron looked at you with hopeful eyes. It was, a matter of fact, Friday and it had been a while since you went out and actually did something fun. You looked at the boy for a moment, pressing your lips together as you looked down at your shoes. ‘’I’ll ask Draco,’’ The words left your mouth quietly like you didn’t want him to hear. Ron's facial expression dropped in disappointment, already knowing the answer. ‘’I understand.’’ He let out, mumbling his words.

Draco was really overprotective. Sometimes a little bit too overprotective. You did enjoy it a lot, it was really nice knowing he cared so much about you and you knew he only had good intentions. You couldn't blame him for caring so much, you were the only thing he had left at his point. It had been a rough year for Draco. His father's expectations were getting to the platinum blond boy and were affecting him badly. You knew that you becoming friends with the Golden Trio didn’t exactly help, but you knew you had to think about yourself and what you wanted too, not just what your boyfriend thought was the best option. ‘’I'll try my best to make it,’’ You continued, giving the boy next to you half a smile. ‘’It would be truly amazing if you did,’’ Ron said, his lips curving into a smile once again. ‘’What, are you asking me on a date, Ron Weasley?’’ You exclaimed, acting surprised. ‘’If I wanted your lovely boyfriend to break my nose then yes,’’ Ron laughed. ‘’But unfortunately, I’m not really into that kind of stuff.’’ You grimaced as you hit him in the arm lightly. ‘’You truly do get your humor from your brothers Weasley,’’ You laughed. ‘’Well, I’m a Weasley at the end of the day, aren’t I?’’ He smiled as he pulled you into a hug.

Draco frowned as he watched the interaction from afar. You had agreed on meeting him outside the Slytherin common room after your last class so you two could see each other before dinner. He had been waiting for what felt like ages before he spotted you walking down the halls with the one and only, Ron Weasley. He scrunched up his face as he watched the taller boy pull you into a hug, feeling the jealousy well up inside of him as you wrapped your arms around the red-haired boy. He clenched his fists as he felt like someone had just stabbed him in the heart, he felt like he could bleed out right there and then. Draco saw the big smile on your face, making tears shimmer in his eyes. He instantly wiped his eyes aggressively, refusing to let anyone see he was hurt.

As you waved Ron goodbye, you turned around. You already knew Draco would be standing by the common room entrance waiting for you, but to your surprise, the platinum blond boy was nowhere to be seen. At this point, there were only a few people left in the halls. ‘’Draco?’’ You called out, looking around but he was still nowhere to be seen even though you could’ve sworn he was there a second ago. You furrowed your brows in confusion as you continued to look around for a moment. Maybe he just gets out of class a little bit later, you thought to yourself before turning around to leave; deciding to let him go find you later.

However, the blond boy never came looking for you. You didn’t see him for hours, feeling a little bad that you didn’t go looking for him instead. But eventually, you just shrugged it off, knowing he was probably just busy doing something else and that you would see him during dinner. You two always sat next to each other, and today was no different. The great hall was already filled with hungry students as you walked in, the loud chatter filling your ears as you started walking towards the Slytherin table. It didn’t take you long to spot the silver hair in the crowd. A small smile formed on your lips as you picked up your pace. His back was facing you, Blaise sitting in front of him. The spot next to him was empty, just like always; reserved for you.

‘’Hello there,’’ You whispered into his ear as you wrapped your arms around his neck from behind. You could feel his whole body go stiff as you touched him, making you confused. Usually, you could feel his whole body relax whenever you touched him, but something was different today. He quickly shoved your arms away from him, making you furrow your eyebrows once again. He turned his head to look at you, a frown forming on his face. ‘’Sorry, this seat is taken today.’’ Draco snapped before turning around to face his friend once again. Your whole body went stiff as the words left his mouth, staring at the boy in front of you. ‘’What?’’ You let out, the confusion lingering in your voice. Draco let out a loud sigh as he turned around once again, glaring at you. ‘’What?’’ He mimicked you. ‘’You heard me. This seat is taken,’’ He repeated himself.

You just stood there, mouth slightly open as you tried your best to find the right words to say. You had no idea why he was acting so cold, but you were about to find out. ‘’Go sit somewhere else Y/N.’’ He finished, staring at you for a moment. His pupils were dilated, his face expressionless. ‘’Maybe Ron has a spot next to him?’’ He sneered at you, turning around once again. You just stood there for a moment. You had no idea why he was acting like this, however, you weren’t having it. ‘’Maybe he does.’’ You snapped back, turning your heel around as you started walking away from the table. You could feel Draco's eyes burning into your back, but you just kept on walking. If that’s how he wanted it, then that’s the way he’d get it.

Of course, Ron had a spot where no one was sitting next to him. You could tell he was happy to see you, but at the same time, he looked quite confused. ‘’How come you’re not sitting at the Slytherin table?’’ He asked as he took another bite of his food. ‘’Did you and Draco have a fight?’’ Hermione asked, making you look over at the brown-haired girl. You just smiled and shook your head. ‘’I just felt like sitting with you guys today.’’ You lied. You just couldn’t bring yourself to tell them the truth. ‘’And Malfoy allowed that?’’ Hermione asked once again, raising one of her eyebrows as she looked over at you. ‘’Actually, he was the one who suggested it.’’ You responded, this time telling the truth. ‘’Maybe Malfoy isn’t so bad at the end of the day,’’ Ron mumbled, his mouth stuffed with food. ‘’We both know that’s a lie,’’ Harry muttered, making you chuckle.

Draco watched every movement you made carefully. Sure, he was the one who told you to go sit over there but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. A part of him actually thought you would refuse and sit next to him despite what he had said, his heart breaking when you had turned around and left. Eventually, Draco had enough, standing up abruptly as he left the table; stomping towards the exit. You quickly noticed the tall boy leaving the room, your eyes following him. ‘’Excuse me,’’ You mumbled as you stood up; not taking your eyes of Draco. You quickly left the table in a hurry, not even saying bye to your friends who were left confused.

‘’Draco!’’ You called out, trying your best to catch up with the blond boy who was walking down the hallways with quick steps. You eventually caught up, grabbing his wrist. ‘’You really made me believe you were mine,’’ Draco snapped, stopping dead in his tracks as he snatched his hand away from you. The only thing that could be heard was your heavy breathing and the wind blowing outside the thin windows. ‘’What?’’ You let out as he turned around to face you. ‘’I saw you with him,’’ He declared, looking you dead in the eye. ‘’Who?’’ You asked, still just as confused. He snickered as he shook his head. ‘’I see the way you act whenever he’s around Y/N, it wouldn’t surprise you if you were actually fucking him when you tell me you’re just studying.’’

His words felt like a knife being stabbed in your chest. He was talking about Ron. Your eyes widened, not believing the words that just came out of his mouth. ‘’Excuse me?’’ You whispered, glaring at the taller boy in front of you. ‘’How dare you act like you’re the victim here?’’ He asked, this time raising his voice. You could tell he was getting angry. ‘’I gave you every piece of me while you act like you’re the victim?’’ He spat at you, his pupils flared. You could see him clenching his fists, anger building up inside of him. ‘’Why are you so jealous? We’re just studying,’’ You stuttered, slowly feeling the fear build up inside of you. You absolutely hated it when Draco was angry, especially when he was mad at you.

‘’Don’t lie to me.’’ He glared at you, grabbing your wrist. ‘’You’re lying and you know I know,’’ He continued, taking a steadier grip of your wrist. You looked down at your arm, a red grip forming where he was holding you. You couldn’t even recognize the boy who was standing in front of you. ‘’Draco, you’re hurting me,’’ You mumbled, trying to hold back tears. Draco had never laid a single finger on you this way, and it was really scaring you even though he would never hurt you. ‘’So you’re the who’s hurting?’’ He shouted, making you jump. You looked up at him, a disgusted expression plastered on his face. ‘’Fucking whore,’’ He muttered under his breath, letting go of your wrist. ‘’Should’ve broken up with you a long time ago.’’

And just like that, he was gone. You stood there for a second, looking down at your wrist. His strong grip had left an imprint on your arm. You let out a whimper before the first tear hit your cheek. You had no idea what had just happened, but it terrified you. You knew Draco would never intentionally hurt you, yet you couldn’t stop staring at the mark he had left on your wrist. You let out a sob as you fell to the floor, tears making your vision go blurry. You could hear him walking down the hallway, away from you. You had no idea what you had done, but you knew you had hurt him, really, really badly.

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24hlevi · 3 years

Text

Happier

Part 2 of “She No Longer Needs Me”

Mikasa Ackermann X Fem!Reader

Annie Leonhart X Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Slight Fluff

Summary: After finally overcoming her heartbreak, Y/n finds new true love with Annie. When Mikasa finds out after she realized she was wrong about Eren, Y/n has already chosen Annie. Just like she chose Eren.

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: Italics means flashbacks, so i combined 3 requests into 1 so i hope that’s alright

Season 4 Ep 1-8 and Manga Spoilers !!

It had been almost a year since you had last talked to Mikasa and Armin, since you already didn’t like talking to Eren. Yes, you stopped talking to Armin as well once you found out that he had lied to you about Mikasa and Eren’s relationship. You just couldn’t believe that one of your best friends who was always so sweet to you would lie about something like cheating. Truthfully, you didn’t want to believe it. The feeling of betrayal still rested inside of you despite getting over everything. But it wasn’t all just you that you had to help get over it all.

You had decided to stay back from going back on the front lines after everything, not even wanting to see any of the trio’s faces while on the battlefield because you knew you would probably get eaten by a titan from lack of focus. You stayed back at the HQ and got to get to know other Scouts and even a few of the others from different regiments.

During that time while you were stuck at the HQ, you had often visited Annie, despite her still being in her crystal that she had built around herself. You talked to her, not knowing if she could even hear you, but you didn’t care. You two had talked quite a bit while in the Cadet Corps before finding out she was the Female Titan, but even then you could care less because you saw who she really was, which was not what everyone made her out to be. You talked about everything that would happen, including your heartbreak that Mikasa had caused because you knew she wouldn’t reply and that you wouldn’t be judged for anything you would say.

One day, you were sitting on the ground in front of Annie who was still stuck in the crystal, talking to her like usual when the unbelievable happened.

“You know, Hitch is so annoying sometimes. Always asking me what I talk to you about.” You grumbled out, looking at the ground. You looked up and at the girl in front of you and let out a small sigh, “When will you ever come out of there, Annie?”

You got no response, as usual. You stood up from your spot and dusted off your pants, looking at Annie, “Well. Whenever you wanna stop being stuck in that crystal, I’ll be here.” You smiled slightly.

You turned around and were about to start walking towards the door when you heard something crack. Turning your head around slowly, your eyes widened upon seeing the crystal beginning to crack open. “Oh shit, Oh shit, Oh shit.” You said quickly, looking around frantically.

When the crystal fully broke apart, all you could do was stare in shock. Annie opened her eyes and glanced around before her eyes landed on you, “Y/n?”

“Oh my god, you’re alive!” You exclaimed, rushing up to the girl. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fine.” Annie replied, taking a step forward and looking around. “Where are we?”

“Underneath the HQ, where you’ve been for the past 4 years.” You answered.

“Oh.” That was all that left her mouth as she looked back at you. “You know, I heard everything you said.”

You looked at her with even wider eyes than before as your jaw dropped, “What?!”

“This whole time I’ve heard everything.” The blonde girl said nonchalantly. “You should really get better friends.”

“Gee, thanks. Like I don’t know that already.” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest.

“So, what’s going to happen to me now?” Annie asked you.

“Well, I’ll probably have to ask Hi-” “Y/n times up- HOLY SHIT!” Hitch cut you off when she walked inside the room and saw Annie, looking at you both in shock. “You didn’t tell me she got out?!”

“I was about to if you wouldn’t have interrupted.” You sighed.

You didn’t notice that Annie wasn’t even looking at Hitch, but instead was looking at you. But Hitch noticed and she looked between you two for a few seconds before nodding, “Right, I’ll leave you two to it for a bit. But at supper, I’ll have to come back because I’ll need to tell Commander Nile.” She smiled at you two, winking at you before walking out the door.

You had no clue why Hitch let you and Annie talk for pretty much the rest of the day until supper, but you decided to not question it. But when you would go to visit Annie after she got out of the crystal, Hitch wouldn’t even let you ask her, she would just say to go in before you even opened your mouth, which you thought was also odd.

When you decided to confront Hitch about the odd things she was doing, she blatantly told you that Annie had obviously liked you.

“Y/n, are you that stupid?” Hitch asked you. “Obviously I’m doing it because Annie likes you!”

You stared at the girl in front of you with shock, “You’re joking.”

“Oh my god, you are that stupid.” Hitch sighed, rubbing her two temples with her fingers. “Okay look. Obviously, I knew Annie when we were both starting in the Military Police before she did that crystal thing but she talked about you a lot, so I know she likes you. And after you coming here every day just to talk to someone who wouldn’t reply to you, I’d say you do as well.”

“What?! I don’t like her!” You argued with the blonde. You didn’t want to admit it, but you had begun to feel something about Annie that wasn’t just friendly. But after what happened with Mikasa, you were scared that it was going to happen again, and you didn’t want to go through that much pain again.

“You clearly do.” Hitch rolled her eyes at you. She then grabbed your shoulders and looked you dead in the eyes. “Y/n, I can guess that you’re scared of going into a new relationship because of what happened with Mikasa, but Annie isn’t a bad person and we both know that. So I say to shoot your shot.”

After that talk, you had realized that you did in fact have a crush on the titan shifter. So what did you do?

You walked down the stairs that led to the dungeon where there were a few cells for the people the military had decided to keep locked up if they were a danger. You had decided that today would be the day that you would tell Annie what you felt, and you hoped that it wouldn’t end badly because you did not want to deal with another tragic heartbreak.

You held the keys in your hand since it didn’t take long to convince Hitch to help you get them once you explained to her why.

You made your way to the last cell where Annie was at and you saw her sitting on the worn-out mattress. You knocked your knuckles on one of the bars and the blonde looked up immediately before speaking, “Hello, Y/n.”

“Hey, Annie.” You smiled a bit, unlocking the cell door with the keys in your hand.

Annie noticed rather quickly that you were unlocking the door and she raised an eyebrow, looking at you, “What are you doing?”

You opened the door and walked inside the small cell, “Oh, well I may or may not have gotten Hitch’s help to get me these keys so I could actually talk to you without bars between us.” You chuckled lightly, trying to fight off the anxiety that was rushing through your body.

“Oh.” That was all that came out of Annie’s mouth, and she looked back at the mattress.

“You okay?” You asked, “You look out of it.”

“I’m fine.” The blonde replied with no emotion evident in her voice.

You looked at the girl quietly with confusion. She hasn’t acted like this since the first day she came out of the crystal, and you didn’t know what to do. You took a deep breath and walked towards her, stopping in front of the bed, “There’s a specific reason why I’m here, Annie. And I really don’t want to fuck up so can you please just look at me?”

Annie complied and looked up and at you and she easily caught on that you were nervous. “You okay?” She asked you.

You nodded quickly, “Yeah, I’m okay. Anyways I need to tell you something.”

The blonde nodded, already knowing what you were going to say just from how nervous you looked and how you spoke. “Okay.”

“Okay so there may be a small possibility that uh well I guess I uhm have feelings for yo-” You were cut off by feeling a pair of lips smashed against your own. Your eyes widened at the sudden action but when Annie cupped your face with her hands you relaxed into her touch and kissed back.

Annie pulled away and rested her forehead against yours, “I have feelings for you too.”

You and Annie had then started dating from that moment on. With only Hitch knowing since you knew you would get a severe punishment for being with the Female Titan. You two would spend all your time with one another and make the most out of Annie being stuck on the dungeon, but it was nice since it was usually just you two in there. You would bring her all her meals along with your own so you both could eat together and she didn’t complain one bit.

You walked down the hallways and made your way to where Hitch was standing in front of the door that led down to the dungeon. When Hitch turned her head and saw you she smiled, “Ah, Y/n! Coming back to see your girl, I assume?”

“What else would I be doing?” You chuckled lightly.

“Very true.” Hitch nodded with a laugh before opening the door and tossing you the keys to the cells, “Dungeon’s all yours.”

“Thanks, Hitch.” You patted her shoulder as you walked by, making your way down the stairs. You walked to the last cell and smiled when you saw Annie, you unlocked the cell door and walked inside resulting in Annie looking up and smiling once she saw it was you.

She got up off the bed and walked over to you, hugging you and putting her head in the crook of your neck, “Hi, love.”

“What’s this for?” You asked with a chuckle, wrapping your arms around her slim waist.

“I just missed you.” Annie mumbled into your neck, taking in your scent that she loved.

Feeling her hot breath hit your neck made a shiver run down your back as you smiled still, “Awe my baby missed me?”

A blush spread on Annie’s face as she just nodded, not wanting to show her flustered face.

You let out another chuckle and pulled away from the hug, walking over to the small bed and laying down on it and holding your arms out wide for her. The girl smiled and laid down next to you, wrapping her arms around you and laying her head on your chest, and tangling your legs. You ran your hand through her blonde hair softly, laying there in complete silence and peace.

“Y/n?” Annie spoke quietly.

“Yeah?” You replied, glancing down at her.

“I love you.” She said to you.

“I love you too, Annie.” You kissed her forehead.

...

Mikasa practically ran throughout the whole HQ trying to find you. She had searched everywhere and she didn’t know where else you could possibly be. She spotted Hitch and quickly rushed towards her.

“Hitch. Tell me where Y/n is.” Mikasa demanded, looking at the blonde girl with a look of worry and urgency.

Hitch’s eyes widened and she quickly shook her head, “I can’t tell you that, Mikasa.”

Mikasa glared harshly at the girl and grabbed the collar of her shirt, pulling her towards herself, “Hitch. Tell me.”

“She’sinthedungeon!” Hitch said so fast it sounded like it was all one word. “But don’t get pissed about what you might see.” She added afterward.

“The hell do you mean ‘don’t get pissed’?” Mikasa let go of Hitch but her glare remained.

“Just find out for yourself. I really don’t want to be the one to tell you.” Hitch said before walking away at a fast pace.

Mikasa stared at Hitch walking away with confusion before opening the door to the stairs that would lead down to the dungeon. She made her way down the stairs and begun to walk past the cells, looking inside each one to find you. The raven-haired girl continued to walk until she ended up at the last cell and the sight she saw made her boil over the edge upon seeing you with Annie on the small bed, cuddling. “What. The. Fuck.” Mikasa spat out angrily. To say she was angry would be an understatement, she was beyond angry, she was fuming to see you with the one girl she thought would never break out of the crystal. Even worse, the enemy.

You shot up when you heard Mikasa’s voice and Annie did the same, “What the fuck do you want, Ackermann?” The blonde snapped.

“What the hell is this?” Mikasa gestured to you two. “I’m risking my life to take down the enemy and you’re what, dating one now?” She glared at you.

“She is not an enemy.” You retorted.

“You know damn well she is.” Mikasa snarled.

“Says the one who’s on Eren’s side when he’s a psychopath and we all know it.” Annie got off the bed and walked towards Mikasa. “So what, you’re upset that your ex has found someone better than you?”

Mikasa opened her mouth to reply but you had gotten up and walked up to the cell bars beside Annie and you set your hand on her shoulder, speaking before the raven-haired girl could get the chance, “It’s fine, baby. Let me handle this, please.”

The blonde girl let out a sigh but nodded anyway, “Fine.”

You looked back at Mikasa who was looking at you two with a mix of anger and what seemed to be a hint of sadness, “Look, Mikasa. I don’t know what you want, but don’t come in here and talk to me for the first time in almost a year and start shit with my girlfriend.” You told her.

Mikasa looked at you with shock before looking down, “I know I messed up. But you have to understand, you were right about Eren. He...He started a war with the Marleyans. And Sasha is...she’s gone.” The girl said quietly.

Your eyes widened when you heard her words about Sasha and anger quickly rushed through you, “Sasha is dead? Let me guess, It was Eren’s fault. And I bet none of you did anything to stop it from happening.” You spat at her. “How could you let Sasha fucking die?!”

“Yes, it was Eren’s fault. He told us to come and help him, and we did. But some kids who are warrior candidates climbed aboard using our ODM gear and shot Sahsa. We tried to stop the bleeding...But more and more poured out as we tried to bandage her up. She died on the airship.” Mikasa’s tone didn’t change as it was still quiet and filled with sadness and regret.

“Warrior candidates?” You questioned. “You mean you pissed off the best of the best and didn’t expect them to seek revenge?”

Mikasa shook her head slowly, “Everyone thought we had won, at least that battle.” She looked up and back at you, “But you have to listen to me, I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have done any of the things that I did to you that hurt in the past, and I regret it. But you have to realize you’ll only get yourself killed if you’re with her.”

You rolled your eyes at her words and shook your head, “No Mikasa, you have to realize that you chose Eren over me. You have to live with that decision. I’ve moved on.”

“You fell for the enemy,” Mikasa argued. “You know it’s bound to happen that she’ll betray you.”

“Just like you betrayed me?” You shot back at her.

Mikasa fell silent and looked back at the ground, not responding after that for a few moments. She looked back at you with tears in her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“If you were really sorry you wouldn’t be telling me that Annie would hurt me like you did. Just leave us alone, Mikasa.” You sighed at the end.

The girl looked between you and Annie, before nodding, “I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.” She took a step away from the cell bars before continuing, “I just want you to know that I really am sorry. And so is Armin.” A tear fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away with her hand before turning and walking away from the both of you.

You wouldn’t know it, but Mikasa had just gotten her heart broken just like Eren did to her, only worse and she didn’t even know why. She thought she had moved on from you, but after seeing you with a new lover, it made her heart clench. She felt an immense amount of jealousy, but she knew that you weren’t hers anymore, and you never would be again.

#attack on titan #aot #shingkei no kyojin #snk #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #snk x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa ackerman x reader #annie leonhart #annie leonhart x reader

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omniscientwreck · 3 years

Note

Hi🖤 Omni! If you're looking for a fic request I've got one.

Okay so Essek is Feeblminded by remaining Volstrucker at his tower. Verin came to visit later that day and has been taling care of Essek, as they both would be scared of the Umavi's wrath should someone find out.

Well Caleb comes to visit a few day's later and Certainly gets a surprise.

Fluff ensues.

I'm talking the Unicorn from Despicable Me level Fluffy😁😁😁

Hi Umbra! Sorry I'm incredibly late answering this, life is weird but I hope the length makes up for it! I know I said drabble but like this just turned into a whole fic so I hope you enjoy!

Verin had worried when Essek’s door hadn’t opened of its own accord, usually he knows when he’s arrived. Deciding something was certainly wrong he barges his way into his brother’s tower. He finds it silent which is normal but unnerving and the unnatural stillness as he calls for Essek has his hackles up.

His knuckles pale as he grips the hilt of his sword and searches methodically throughout the tower. Finding the main floor empty he heads up the stairs to the library. There’s a shuffle, a falling book, a whimper. He draws his sword, adrenaline coursing through his veins. The door is ajar and he can hear shuffling. He thrusts it open is momentarily relieved to see his brother. His hair is tousled and white is stained with flecks of red, his robes are torn and his mantle is askew.

He’s never seen him like this before and his heart lurches. Surprise and fear are plastered across his features, far more freely than Verin’s ever seen him feel. He doesn’t talk and he seems to not even recognize him. Checking the rest of the room, the sword is returned to its sheath and Verin crouches, reaching a hand to Essek.

“Brother, what happened?” Silence, a whimper. “Essek? What’s wrong? It’s Verin, your brother.” His brows unknot, and the tension in his jaw slackens. There’s a looseness to his demeanor and as he stands he waves his hand as if to float, but nothing happens. He tries again and again. The first try was decisive, after watching him for so long Verin knows what it looks like when he casts it. The second time it’s not quite right, the third time it gets looser still. By the time Verin has stopped counting and Verin has grabbed Essek’s hands to calm him it seemed like Essek didn’t know what he was attempting to do.

“Is this some kind of spell? What happened?” His brother looks up with the face of a stranger. His eyes are open and sad, his ears fall just a touch and Essek leans in to hug Verin. He’s never wanted to do that before.

Verin hugs him back. “Oh Essie, what are we going to do?”

Caleb approaches Essek’s tower and is struck by immediate concern when the door doesn’t open for him. Essek always lets him in when he arrives, and with everything that’s happened he immediately panics. Caleb tries to tell himself Essek must be busy and has missed him tripping the wards. So, he lifts the knocker and gives the door a few raps.

He’d asked Caleb to meet him here to assist in the transport of his most important items after their trip to Aeor. He needs to run, he knows it and Caleb knows that turning himself in to the Dynasty would mean certain death so he’s agreed to help. No amount of good will from the Bright Queen would let them bargain for his favour. Selfishly, Caleb won’t allow him to get caught, so he will harbor Essek for some time, helping him stay out of the eyes of the Dynasty.

Eventually he knocks again, beginning to hold a firebolt just in case. “Uh, just a minute,” calls a stranger’s voice from behind the wood. “I’ll be right there.”

The door opens just a crack, “Who is it?”

“I am Caleb Widogast of the Mighty Nein, who is this?” His hand is up and encircled in flame.

“Oh thank the Light, one moment.” Whoever he is, he’s clearly relieved. Caleb’s firebolt stays held.

As the door opens Caleb is greeted by a tall drow, muscular with long braided back hair. He looks familiar but Caleb cannot place him. His features are slowly fading into relief from what must have been a deep concern. “Hello Caleb Widogast, I am Verin Thelyss and I am so glad you’re here. Your the wizard yes?”

Nodding, bewildered as he’s being dragged into Essek’s home by his brother, Caleb can hardly remember to respond, “Uh ja, that’s me. Where is Essek?”

“Well so I came by a few days ago and he didn’t let me into the tower which was weird. There have been some rumors going around and when our mother said he was back I had to ask. I don’t know if you know but… well it’s bad.”

He’s leading him upstairs as he explains and the back of Caleb’s neck is on fire. Verin doesn’t know, but there are rumors that are most likely true. Is he too late?

“So, I’m hoping since you also practice the arcane you might know what’s happened here and how to solve it.”

He leads Caleb into the library and Essek is seated on a chair idly flipping through a book far too quickly. It doesn’t even look like he’s reading, Caleb knows what he looks like when he’s reading. The quiet concentration and the tension it brings his jaw is completely missing. When Essek looks up at him there’s recognition but no words and when he rises to make his way to Caleb, he walks.

He’s wide-eyed and has a sweet smile across his face, it’s difficult to look away but if he doesn’t the heat rising in his cheeks will show. “Essek, what is it mein Freunde?”

No words. Why can’t he talk and why isn’t he floating?

“Essek?” A gentle hand reaches up to rest on his cheek and the heat takes over at the abrupt contact. Especially with Verin standing over his shoulder observing them. “Verin how long has he been like this?”

“About 2 days. I didn’t really know what had happened and if the Umavi found out well… I’m unsure what she would do.” Verin is a little more easier to map out than Essek had been initially and he’s been told enough stories about Dierta to understand the undercurrent of Verin’s words.

“Ja, I understand.” Verin starts at that and Caleb just continues past it, “I believe he has been affected by the spell Feeblemind. I - ah - have experience with this kind of thing. We have friends that can cure him but I will have to contact them, which I will not be able to do until tomorrow.”

Essek’s hand has wound its way into Caleb’s and he tries and fails miserably to contain the blush that he knows is spreading to his ears. Memories of little touches in Aeor flood back and Caleb pushes away thoughts of conversations he’d promised they’d have later, after Essek was safe. To call to attention this thing between them and get it out in the open before it drives him mad. Even if Essek’s feelings do not align with his it will be better to have it in the open.

“So this isn’t hurting him?”

Caleb turns to Essek, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He remembers a blur of time, when his mind had failed him. He remembers terror, looking down at his hands and not knowing whose they were. He didn’t have an anchor, nothing but his own thoughts, with someone there it might be different. Essek can’t understand him but the tone of voice seems to elicit some positive emotions and Essek squeezes his hand, a contented smile across his face, “He seems alright to me. It is unpleasant to be cut off from your casting, but he isn’t in pain and he isn’t alone.” It’s difficult to mitigate the emotion bleeding into his voice.

He pushes down memories of the years he’d been locked away and squeezes Essek’s hand back, reassuringly. “Have you gotten him to eat?”

Verin nods, “Occasionally. Probably not as much as he needs. I’m not exactly an excellent cook and nobody can see him like this so I’ve sent his staff away.”

“Alright, well I’ll just do this then.” he begins casting the tower, “I understand if you want to stay but if you need to go I can care for him.” he wants Verin to leave, he wants him gone so badly, to just take care of Essek properly without the shadow of somebody who doesn’t know hanging over them.

“I should be back to Bazzoxan soon. They’ll begin asking after me.” Caleb finishes casting the tower and leads Essek in. Just before he enters, Verin stops him, “You mean something to each other. I’ve never seen him act this way before, granted there’s an arcane influence but genuinely he has never smiled like he did when he saw you. I trust you with this because I think he would. Do not betray that.”

Caleb nods, “Of course not. We’ve faced the most difficult challenges of my life together and with our friends. I will care for him.” Verin seems satisfied with that and makes to leave, and Caleb enters the tower to find Essek waiting in the centre of the tower. He has an idea of where he wants to go. As the tower door closes behind Verin, he and Essek begin to drift upwards. Essek opens his mouth as if to reflexively murmur ‘up’ as had become their custom in their long travels together and his brows knot in distress, as if he’s realized again that his voice will not come. Caleb reaches for his hand, to comfort him and says it for them both, to which Essek smiles.

The drow releases Caleb’s hand and begins to swirl around, never leaving the central column and Caleb is forced to mirror his motions lest they collide. He flashes back to a moment of levity when they’d first come to Aeor. They had showboated then, dancing around each other as their works often did. This Essek is less restrained and his eyes and nose crinkle into a genuine smile when Caleb joins his frivolity.

They stop at the ninth floor which Caleb had known to be Esseks’ destination and immediately Essek lays on the pillows he always places in the corner. Usually, on their research expedition, he tranced in his room but on particularly emotional days they both preferred an expanse of stars above them as they rested. It became tradition and over time they’d drifted closer and closer together, until they would sometimes come to consciousness to find that through the night Essek had curled into Caleb’s side or that their hands had wound together unknowingly.

Now, Essek’s eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open in wonder as though it’s his first time seeing it all over again. Caleb stands over him, following his gaze up to the idly shifting starscape above. Caleb is quickly distracted by the versions of them that traverse different paths. Sometimes in each other’s company, other times in solitude. In a few they hold hands or make contact at the shoulders. Those are the ones he likes the most.

When his gaze is pulled back downwards, Essek stares up at him with a tenderness that quickly turns to expectation. He’s arranged burgundy cushions across the floor beside him for Caleb and so he obliges. As he stretches out across the crude bed slender, cool fingers interlock his own and he lays back and tells Essek of the constellations he’s hidden among the stars.

When Caleb himself was in this state he remembered lacking familiarity. Nothing around him made sense and the upheaval of his life only moments prior had only amplified the disorientation of the magic that kept him prisoner for 11 years.

Essek has someone to watch over him, he’s in a place that evidently brings him much joy and in recent months he’s found himself halfway to peace. Caleb finds his heart swell at the idea of making this experience bearable.

The silence was always the worst so he points to guide the elf’s eyes as he tells them the stories behind each constellation. He tells him of Nila, gentle and fierce. Of Twiggy, ever optimistic and wholly delightful. He tells him about Reani who Essek has spent some time with. Brief recognition flashes across his face, though it’s quickly replaced with frustration. Caleb remembers. He remembers knowing that someone was there who he should recognize but not having the words to know he had forgotten their name. He was in terror and treated everyone as a threat. Essek treats everything with wonder and discovery. The innocence is sweet and a syrupy feeling pools in Caleb’s throat as he’s again confronted with the way his heart swells when Essek looks at Caleb with that same contented smile.

He scoots closer and this is entirely too much. The idea that this version of Essek may curl into his side willingly, while they were fully conscious where the other version cannot unsettles him. Instead he stands, offering his hand, “Why don’t we get you something to eat ja?” There’s a momentary droop of his ears, much more pronounced than any movement he’d seen before before he lifts Essek and they go down to the dining room.

If there is to be anything significant between them it cannot be spurred under these circumstances. Caleb has to know he means it. As they wait while he cats prepare what had become their usual fare while traversing Aeor, he defaults to telling stories. First he tells him of the tunnels they traversed to reach the Dynasty, crafting an illusion as well as he can of the crystalline caves they made camp in. Food arrives and he continues weaving story and image as Essek picks at the well spiced soup comprised mainly of squash and potato. As he crafts an illusion of the dragon turtle they’d fought just after the peace talks out of amber and morphs its shape to a smaller turtle and then a sea slug, laughing to himself at the absurdity, he notices the clink of Essek’s spoon has long subsided.

Glancing over electric eyes focus on him instead of the illusion, so he drops it. “Ah, Es tut mir Leid, I know I tend to get carried away.” A little contented noise bubbles from Essek’s throat and his heart squeezes. In a desperate attempt to try and get Essek to eat more he turns back to his own soup and looks expectantly over to his friend.

Giving him a look of exasperation, he mirrors Caleb and eats most of the soup. Caleb rips up bread and encourages him to dip it in what’s left of the soup and finally, the bowl is empty. They leave the cats to clean up and Essek’s hand grasps Caleb’s again and squeezes. He knows he shouldn’t draw conclusions or let himself be taken by these gestures that the man wouldn’t make if he’d had the presence of mind, but it’s turning into a losing game.

With the time spent on the ninth floor and the prolonged battle of coaxing Essek to eat they only have a few hours until sleep. Essek takes his customary seat on the couch in the study and Caleb withdraws some of the lighter fiction that now populates the shelves. Lying back on the sofa, feet resting on the armrest, head by Essek he holds up the copy of Der Katzenprinz to show the illustrations. “You seem to like hearing me talk so why don’t I share this with you? Either way you won’t understand what I say so I will read it to you as it was originally intended.”

He begins, in Zemnian to tell him the fairy story that had brought him so much joy as a child, and the cats bring them hot chocolate as instructed. Warm mug in hand, Essek sits patiently through the story and as it turns to a close, picks up another of the books Caleb has gathered and thrusts it upon his chest. A real laugh bubbles up at that and he obliges.

As the night winds on and the mugs are emptied, Essek’s hand winds its way through Caleb’s hair, gently combing. When he looks up at Essek he’s met with soft, drooping eyes and a plain smile laced with nothing but care. He tries to stop Essek over the course of the book but finds that the drow always goes back to his hair so eventually, he leaves it. When Essek’s breaths even and elongate and he’s having trouble keeping his eyes open, Caleb sends him to trance.

He’s met with a slightly mournful look as Essek settles into the cushions he’s provided for trancing, but Caleb squeezes his shoulder, “If something goes wrong the cats will know to come get me. This is for the best.” Looking not at all reassured, but staying in place, Essek lets him leave without protest.

In the middle of sleep, dreamless and warm, there’s pressure. Then a caterwaul cuts through his subconscious followed by several more. He awakes with a start and immediately the cats gather around his feet as he pulls on slippers. They lead him to Essek’s room, where through the closed doors he can hear the sounds of furniture being disturbed.

Barging in, heart pounding, he finds Essek with tears streaming down his face. “Essek Schatz what’s wrong?” He kneels, abandoning any sense of propriety or boundaries and as he collapses into Caleb’s arms with nearly silent sobs he’s struck by how small the other man is.

“It’s alright Essek, whatever it was it cannot hurt you. I will keep you safe as you have done me.” They’ve never talked about the nights when the cats would do the same to Essek as they’d done to Caleb. When he’d been awoken from nightmares with angry red scratches down his forearms and a friend to bandage them. They’ve never quite discussed the comfort in Essek trancing just beside Caleb’s bed on difficult nights and he’s tried to stifle contemplation about the safety the man brings to his subconscious. The timing wasn’t right and despite his own longing he couldn’t make that step towards Essek. Not then.

Now, however, the elf shudders in his arms and he brings him into his lap, lighting soft amber globules of light to examine Essek. When he finds no physical harm he puts them out again and draws him in tighter as Essek clutches at the sides of his nightshirt and curls into his chest. He sings gentle lullabies his mother had once used to soothe him, voice cracking slightly as he flexes it in a long forgotten way. Eventually the shaking stops and breath becomes more solid, but hands stay grasped into his shirt so, with assistance from the cats, he maneuvers them into an easier sleeping position. Ever determined, Essek stays in his arms the whole time and when he tries to encourage him to trance beside him, arms wind around his waist.

“Okay, okay. If this will help.” Caleb resigns himself to creaky joints the next morning and sleeps with Essek in his arms, pushing away any indulgent thoughts of future nights spent with him in the same orientation.

When he awakes Essek is gone from his lap, though their fingers are laced and his head rests atop the drow’s on his shoulder. “Guten Morgen Essek.” He startles and smiles over at Caleb. Open, honest, vulnerable. They need to fix this. “I just need to prepare and then we will see Jester ja?” He receives a blank stare in return and nods to himself. “I will be back in a few moments and then we will go to Nicodranas. Just wait here.” He leaves and dresses quickly, returning to find Essek essentially where he’d been left. He takes a moment to glance over his spellbook and concentrates as he casts Sending, “Hallo Jester, I need your assistance with a pretty big restoration. Can you help today?”

She sounds half-asleep as she responds, “Caleb? Oh hi! Yeah I can help, just come to mama’s, we’re in Nicodranas. Oh my gosh I have to tell you, the dragon turtle-” her word economy same as ever.

“Okay Essek, Jester can help. I don’t know where you kept your parasol but I’m sure she can make you another.” With that they head out the door and Caleb transports them safely to the Lavish Chateau. Essek’s hand never leaves his.

Upon arrival they’re beset by a shouted greeting and Jester crushes Caleb in a hug before even realizing the other man is there. “Ohmigod Essek hi! I missed you!” Instead of awkwardly patting her back as he usually does, he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in. “Hey Caleb, what’s going on with Essek?”

She pulls back and sees his broad smile and dancing eyes and looks at Caleb distinctly concerned. “Ah- I’m afraid he is a victim of the Feeblemind spell. It’s what they used against me in… well.” Her face clouds with understanding. “He’s okay physically though, whoever attacked him clearly just needed him out of the way. If you can use Greater Restoration that will undo the effects. He’s been ah - rather clingy.”

She waggles her eyebrows at him, making suggestive noise, and gets out the required diamond dust, sprinkling it delicately over Essek who watches in wonder. She puts both hands on her shoulders and green radiant energy emanates from her and passes to him. Before long he’s shaking his head and stepping back, voice hoarse from disuse, “Where- Jester? Thank you oh my gods thank you.”

She grins back at him, “I’m glad you’re back Essek! It’s a good thing Caleb brought you here you were acting so weird-”

She’s cut off as he chokes out, “Caleb.” and looks over with a deep violet flush and wide, apologetic eyes. “I ah- I am sorry for putting you through that. I-”

“Nein, do not apologize. Maybe we should get back to your tower to try and piece together who did this to you and what they were after ja?’

Essek nods and casts his levitation cantrip, shoulders sagging with relief when it works. “Yes, of course. Thank you Jester, I’m sorry we can’t stay but-”

She hugs the both of them again, “It’s okay, you have lots to talk about probably I don’t know bye!” she gives Caleb a wink as he begins casting the spell again and to his surprise Essek’s hand winds itself in his as they vanish.

They’re back in the tower and Caleb looks down, Essek’s hand still in his. Essek drops it and there’s a flush set deep into his cheeks and it spreads to his cheeks as their eyes meet. “Caleb I-” he swallows “I remember most of what happened, though not very clearly. I um-” his eyes are downcast and Caleb braces for what he believes to be coming, “Thank you for your patience. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable it is very difficult to explain but I think you’re aware of the feeling. I didn’t exactly have my full faculties and I fear I broke boundaries that may have encroached too far on your hospitality and our friendship.”

It’s difficult to see him so apologetic for the affection displayed. This thing between them has gone unspoken quite too long and before he realizes it he’s speaking, “Don’t apologize for that Schatz, I ah- I didn’t mind. There’s something I think we ought to discuss fairly plainly because I do not want to mince words about the way I feel anymore, it’s tiring.”

Essek looks up to meet him, steeling himself and as Caleb is about to speak he cuts him off, “I am aware enough of how I acted to realize I cannot properly hide my feelings further.” He takes a deep breath, the back of Caleb’s neck is burning and time has all but frozen, “I care deeply for you Caleb. It is difficult to bring myself to those words for I know this is the last thing I deserve but here I am, a fool for you. I know that there were moments in Aeor, I hold them close to my heart as precious things in a life of solitude. If you do not do the same, if you do not feel the same I will remain your friend if you’ll allow it, your research partner, anything. But-” he looks down almost sheepishly, “I owe it to you to be forthright and so I will tell you that if you’ll have me, I would very much like to see where this takes us.”

A smile breaks across Caleb’s face as their eyes meet, “May I kiss you?”

Essek draws in a sharp breath, eyes wide, and nods. It takes Caleb only a moment to close the gap, hands sliding around Essek’s waist and over the back of his neck as he leads them together. Essek’s hands hold his shoulders and his eyes flutter closed as their lips meet, electricity and heat mixing. When they finally pull back they’re both flushed. Essek lets out a huff of a laugh and Caleb wraps him tightly as he brings him in again, smiling into another kiss.

#shadowgast #critical role #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #the mighty nein #cr fanfic #cr #critrole #fan fiction #archive of our own #omniwrites

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miyaniacs · 3 years

Text

The One Night Stand pt. 6

Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader / Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

Part 1 ; Pt. 2 ; Pt. 3; Pt. 4 ; Pt. 5

A/n: anddd angst is hereeeeeee - feedback is always welcome :) it act hurt to write this lol can you tell I had a small mental breakdown yesterday haha but at least it helped to write this chapter here :)

Warnings: angst; not proof read; nsfw ( minors do not read this), usage of the word whore, rough / angry sex

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader , Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

Form: oneshot / short story

The whole ride home you stayed quiet. The image of Toji and the other women kissing, just wouldn’t leave your mind. And it did not stop there.

Your mind is creating all those scenarios. Scenarios that tell you that whenever he was on the phone, when you were with him, he was texting her, telling her about how badly he wants to see her again, telling her when you’d leave so she can come over. Him telling her about how bad you are and annoyed, her laying in his arms, naked with her perfect body, laughing about how pathetic you sound. How pathetic you ARE. Crushing on your best friend, fucking with another that is way out of your league, who’s probably just doing it for laughs. Who are you kidding? He definitely did it just for laughs. Saying all those things to you, to get a reaction out of you, just so he can make fun of it later on with her - or even during it, texting her how stupid you are. How fun it is to mess with you, how you started to look at him differently. How he waits at the door when you left, just to wrap his arms around her small frame, just seconds after you left. His hands on her thighs, lifter her up, placing his lips on hers while carrying her inside, laying her down on the bed, you were in just minutes ago.

Hell he was probably seeing her whenever he was away for missions.

Have they all been missions? Or was it just a weekend he wanted to spent with her and get away from you?

But... how are you to judge? You used him... to get over your best friend... And ended up falling for him instead. You never even questioned if he has someone else. You’ve been totally egoistic the whole time, he could have been in an open relationship with her. Toji isn’t one to tell you things by himself, but you never even thought of asking him?

All you did was use him, complain to him and in the end just leave.

Are you really in the position to cry now?

You feel a soft hand touching your arm.

“Hey, were back home.” You look into the blue eyes of your... boyfriend? Can you really consider him as your boyfriend, knowing that you stopped loving him weeks ago? Even before he officially became your boyfriend?

“Satoru.. I - “ His hand cups your cheek and you stopped talking.

“Let’s get inside... I feel like we both need to confess things.” He smiles sadly.

So here you are now. Sitting on the couch in his apartment starring at his inhumanly blue eyes, waiting for him to start talking.

“So... I’m not blind. Even tho most of the time I look like I am..” he jokes, but quickly stopped the second he sees your emotionale expression, “ Well... I know you like him.” He licks his lips and avoids your gaze.

“Satoru... look I’m sorry, I did not plan on playing you... I - I really thought that I still love you.” You whisper and fiddles with your fingers, “ I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“You did not... I- I’m actually relived.” He sighs and looks down. You’re eyes shoot up and you stare at his face.

“What?” Your body begins to shiver as you watch his lips open, the words leaving them seem unreal. Your brain refuses to accept that this is the truth, but the way he looks directly at you, his eyes showing nothing but honesty, you start to shake.

“How long did you plan to keep this act up?” You whisper.

“I hoped that it wouldn’t be an act the whole time... and that I learn to love you ... the way you do.. or did.” His eyes study your face, looking for any sign of emotion. Your eyes get glassy. Your body shakes. Your mouth is slightly open, but no words leave your lips. The tears now run freely down your face.

“Hey... Y/n..” He tries to pull you into a hug, to give you the hold and safety his hugs always provide you, but you quickly jump up and step away from him.

“Don’t touch me.” you’re voice shakes and is barely over a whisper, yet he heard your words and sees the hurt in your eyes. “Just.... don’t - don’t talk to me again... I - just leave me alone.” You walk backwards, your hands grab your hair, your brain can’t fully understand everything that is happening right now.

Gojo on the other hand knows exactly what is happening.

And he feels his heart break.

He is loosing his best friend.

The one person that always stayed at his side, since school you where with him and you stayed. You stayed during the whole mess his life used to be, or is.

You were the only person the felt comfortable with to truly open up to.

“Y/n... please. Don’t leave. Don’t leave me.” He whispers and stands up, still keeping his distance from you.

“DO YOU FEEL LIKE I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU NOW?” You scream, all your emotions crushing down on you all at once.

“No - no... just - it’s late, just stay here and I leave... I’ll stay away for how long I need to ... I don’t want anything to happen to you...” he looks at you with pleading eyes.

“HOW DO YOU THINK I CAN STAY HERE - IN YOUR HOUSE...where ... where everything reminds me of you...” you whisper the last part. Your hands grab the handle of the door, taking a deep breath you open it and look over your shoulder.

“Goodbye Gojo.”

“How long?” He whispers, his voice shakes.

“I - I don’t know.” You say and look at his eyes, tears running down on both of your faces.

Then you close the door and hurry out of the apartment complex.

On the other side of the door, Gojo collapse.

All of his muscles gave up working, he simply lays on the floor, not really able to breath, thanks to the knot in his throat.

He lost you.

He lost his best friend.

The person he saw himself still joking around when you are both old and your hair colors would finally match.

But he failed. He wanted to give you everything, make you happy, he would have done everything for you, not caring about his own feelings, he just wanted you to be happy.

You - the person he cares the most about.

But at the end, he hurt you and he lost you.

Lost you like he always looses everyone close to him.

With all the strength he has left, he takes out his phone and calls the only person he trust with all of this mess.

“Gojo. It’s 2am. And I just came back home.What do you want.” Nanami sighs.

“Please, find Y/n.” He whispers.

“What? Shouldn’t she be with you?”

“I- I told her...” his voice breaks.

“I’ll save the whole ‘ I’ve told you this would happen’ speech.” Nanami sighs. Why does he have to be involved in this mess.

“Nanami please, I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

“I’m on my way.” Nanami hangs up and puts on his shoes.

___

Why did you left him.

Yes what he did was wrong... but his intention wasn’t... you should not have been so hard to him. Not after all he had to go though... and after all he did for you.

He was okay with giving up his ‘hoe’ life just for your happiness.

Also... are you really okay with loosing your best friend?

You need him. And you know he needs you too. You two have always been there for each other, he trusts you and you trust him. You’re actually questing if you‘ve ever really loved him the way you felt you did. The feelings you felt for him and the ones you feel for Toji are … different. Maybe you never really loved before … and truth to be told, you longed for that feeling of someone loving you. Of someone holding you at night, kissing you, of not being alone when you make dinner… of not feeling unloved.

Maybe … your brain really just made you imagine those feelings for Gojo … yes you love him. And he loves you … but at this point … you realize that it’s the same way you love an family member… because that’s what he is for you… family.

Should you just walk back and talk things out with him.

Yes. Yes that would be the most mature thing to do.

But - no . You decided to be childish and let him suffer.

You don’t want to be the one who apologizes, yet you know that he will also not come and beg on for your forgiveness. Not because of his ego... but because he knows how much he hurt you and he doesn’t want to cause you more pain. So at the end you’ll have to go back to him.

Talking about going back... where are you going right now?

Looking around yourself, you groan.

No.

No .

NO.

Why the actual fuck did your feet walk you over to his.

But... but maybe it was meant to be?

Looking up you see light shining through his window.

Should you just... walk up... and knock in his door?

But what if she is still there, what if she opens the door, in one of his shirts, looking flawless, while you stand there, red puffy eyes, your make-up smudged... No. No you will not be that desperate.

Looking around you spot a bench and sit down.

Your eyes are fixed on the window and your mind starts creating scenarios again.

What is he doing right now? You really want to believe that he’s alone - nether the less your mind won’t let you.

In your head he’s laying in his bed. The women straddling him, running her hands up and down his tones body. Her lips leaving marks on his neck, his eyes are closed, yet the smug smirk is still visible on his face.

His hands grabbing her hips, grinding her against him, a deep growl escapes his lips, as she sits up, bouncing up and down on him- the sound of your phone gets your back to reality.

Without looking at the ID you answer your phone, hoping you’ll be able to hear Tojis deep voice.

“Y/n.”

“Nanami?” You blink a few times, not expecting him to call you at this time of the day.

“Where are you?”

“Home.” You lie.

“No you’re not. I’m at your home and you’re not there.” He sighs, “I know what happened. So where are you?”

“Did Gojo ask you to find me?” You roll your eyes.

“Yes. He’s worried about you.” He says in a calm voice.

“Wow isn’t he a wonderful person.” You roll your eyes.

“I am too. I just want to be sure you’re save.” He says sincerely.

“I am. I just need some time alone.” You sigh. The light in the window went off.

“... I don’t feel good with leaving you alone at night in this city.”

“I promise I’ll call you when I don’t feel save.” You smile.

“... I can’t convince you to let me pick you up?” He sighs again.

“No.”

“... well... just don’t go to inside.” He hangs up.

You look around confused and see the silhouette of a men walking away.

He knew exactly where you where.

Why are you not surprised.

Then you see something moving in the corner of your eyes.

There’s a person walking - more like storming out of the building.

The clicking of her heels echoes though the street.

Her long dark hair, flows in the wind, even now her hips sway perfectly even with her aggressive walking.

Was this the women from the bar?

Does this mean he’s alone now?

‘Don’t go inside.’ You repeat the words Nanami told you over and over - as you make your way towards the entrance.

From the distance Nanami watches you. He knew you wouldn’t listen. Looking up he shakes his head, again why is he involved in this. Or better - why did he let himself getting involved in all of this.

“Gojo.”

Another man steps out of the shadows.

“How long have you been here?” Nanami asks.

“I followed her.” He admits.

“And why did you call me up then?” He looks at him annoyed.

“In case she needed someone to talk …” Gojo stares at her figure entering the building.

“Do you think it will end well?” He looks at Nanami.

“Depends on how stubborn Fushiguro will be.”

“So I’ll better stay in case she ends up crying again.”

“You think she’ll want to see you then?” Nanami raises an eyebrow.

“No… but at least I can teach him a lesson for hurting her.” He says and his lips form a tight line.

“… I don’t think you’re in any position to judge.” Nanami shakes his head, “Go now. I’ll stay a bit longer.”

“But -“

“No. Go.” Gojo sighs and turns around.

“Gojo - I know you think you’ve lost her as your best friend … but I don’t think that’s the case. At least not for too long.” Gojo stops for a seconds, his eyes lightning up behind his glasses.

“I hope you’re right.” He says and leaves.

- some time before -

This doesn’t feel right.

His hips slam against her ass, one of his hands grab her waist, the other her hair.

Whenever she moans, he feels like throwing up.

Her voice sounds so wrong.

His hands release her body and grab her face from the back, shoving his fingers in her mouth, trying to muffle what ever she’s saying. Closing his eyes he tries to ignore who is fucking, one of his hands moves down and wraps around her throat. Pulling her towards him, her head falls over his shoulder, while he mercilessly continues fucking her. Some inhuman sounds leave her body, while Toji let’s all of his anger out on her.

He knows it’s not you, but with his eyes closed he can project all of the imagines of you, which he saved in his mind, on this girl and hopefully be able to reach his climax soon. Your beautiful face, the way your lips part whenever he touches you at this one spot, how beautiful his name sounds whenever you moan it…

“Omg Tojiii - I missed this so much.” She moans. Opening his eyes he grits his teeth.

“Shut the fuck up you stupid whore.” He says and the hand around her throat tightens.

He really tries to imagine it being you that’s being with him right now, but he can’t.

She doesn’t look like you, doesn’t sound like you, doesn’t feel like you - she’s simply isn’t you.

He let’s go of her face and throat and pulls out of her.

Trying to catch her breath she looks at him confused.

“Toji? Babe?”

Not even sparing her a glance he gets up and puts on some sweatpants.

“Not in the mood.” He huffs.

“Let me help you get into it thennnn.” She crawls over the bad and her hands reach to the hem of his sweatpants.

“No.” He steps back and grabs her clothes throwing them at her.

“Leave.”

“What?”

“I said leave.”

“But - but daddy we always had so much fun together …” she smirks and looks up at him.

“I said. Get. The fuck. Out. Of. My. Home.” He growls.

“Is it because of that slut?!” She angrily pulls on her dress, glaring at Toji who pulls out one of his cigarettes.

“Wow. Haven’t you told me at first that you’re just messing with her to annoy this guy with the white hair ?! And that I’m way better in bed than her?!” She huffs.

“I lied.” He says and blows the smoke in her face.

“Oh so some ugly fucking slut stole your he-“

Tojis grabs her face, squishing her cheeks inwards.

“I dare you, Max, call her a slut one more time.” His green eyes glow as he pushes her away, making her fall back on the bed.

“You bastard.” Max says and slips in her heals storming towards the door.

“Don’t call me again - like ever.”

“Never did - you were the one blowing up my phone ” He laughs as she slams the door.

Turning off the lights, he sighs and falls down on his sofa. His head rolls back and he stares at the ceiling.

He shouldn’t have left with her.

Deep down he knew that this would help him getting over you.

He looks at his phone.

Should he just call you?

No. You’re probably busy with Gojo right now.

His heart stings at the thought of it.

One of his hands massages his temples. He can’t stop thinking about you.

Oh how he wished that you were here with him right now.

In his arms, telling him about anything and everything.

Every second he spends with you seemed so easy and peaceful. He never felt that way since he lost Megumis mother.

A knock on the door interrupts him from fully embracing this depressed episode.

“I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE MAX!” He screams angrily.

“Toji… ?” A soft broken voice calls out his name and his eyes shoot open.

Taglist: @laceymorganwrites @ereeeeehhh @gojoscumslut @channieboii @alltimeluw ( I’ll tag you since you binged the first chapters) I hope it’s okay 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 ) : @cocotaku420 , @angelofthorr , @sukunas-cult-leader

#jjk oneshots #jjk x you #jjk x reader #gojo x you #gojo headcanons #jjk headcanons #jjk hcs #gojo x reader #gojo hcs #toji x you #toji imagine #toji x reader #toji hcs #jjk angst

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ramblingguy54 · 3 years

Text

True Colors: An Emotionally Fantastic Serious Game Changer.

If we’re to look back at Reunion as Season 1′s dramatic pay off for Amphibia’s message of toxic friendships, as Anne & Sasha’s conflicting dynamic showed us, then True Colors is a colossal expansive note on this big theme of the series. True Colors makes Season 1′s finale look like a walk in the park for what angst goes down between our three main heroins in Season 2′s climatic resolution. Everything that can go wrong does go oh so painfully wrong for these three kids. Anne, to no one’s surprise, gets double crossed by Sasha leaving things between them a Hell of a lot more bitter than they were previously, as if that couldn’t already be topped when Sasha tried to kill the Plantars before. Anne has had enough of her lies and manipulation not being afraid to tell Sasha straight up how awful of a friend she’s been in general, even hitting her where it hurts most of all saying, “No, I’m done listening to you! I’m done trusting you! You’re a horrible person and I am done being FRIENDS with you!”, going so far as to get a shaken reaction out of Sasha dropping her brave face act, making this girl try to wipe away the frog family.

Right off the bat, True Colors makes it highly evident this isn’t just another story of stopping a bigger threat, but one hitting much closer to home, overall. Yes, King Andrias is certainly a dangerous villain, who makes his presence and intimidating nature known to the others by True Color’s final act, which despite this Amphibia isn’t entirely putting him at the forefront, rather focusing on a more intimate study of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy’s big emotional conflict. This finale knows exactly where to put its focus of importance on, so I love that instead of it being action packed we’re getting the spotlight shined on just how screwed up these three of a friendship have, in spite of Marcy claiming in The Dinner episode, “We’re supposed to be friends for life. We don’t split up!’ . Very ironic stuff right there, indeed.

True Colors’ most powerful strength it adds to Amphibia’s ongoing profound story about healthy friendships is the thorough deconstruction of these girls defined “ideal relationship” as people. Before Anne came to the world of Amphibia this kid was afraid to stand up for what she believed in, even knowing especially well that stealing the calamity box was morally questionable, but did it anyway. Sasha was super manipulative, abusive, and used her power to control people, like she did a lot of toward Anne in their lives. Marcy, while very smart, wasn’t the most competent physically, who soon grew into being more independent without needing to rely on Anne always having to be there for her. These three were changed immensely by the events of being thrust into this world of sentient amphibian creatures. Anne benefited morally most out out of all three in taking up the mantle of responsibility and ironing out her own issues. She’s become a much stronger person all around.

This episode asks us an important question though in nutshell with, “Have Sasha & Marcy truly changed for the better?”, since Anne has reached a point in her arc feeling genuinely content with who she’s become and the bonds that have been made with the Plantar family shown most notably with Sprig Plantar. Hence the whole purpose behind the song, It’s No Big Deal, with Anne feeling proud for who she is, yet not noticing a bigger issue right underneath her nose. That previous episode was meant to bring Anne’s happiness up only to bring it all crashing down in a devastating display of new revelations in True Colors. Every dramatic emotional beat isn’t just earned. Each significant moment is completely knocked out of the park by terrific voice acting, beautiful animation, and music composition that gave me serious emotional goosebumps. True Colors did exactly as Not What He Seems accomplished for Gravity Falls in shaking up its own respective dramatic stakes just when you thought it couldn’t get any higher for these protagonists. Shit seriously hits the fan here.

Did it ever occur to you, Anne? Sasha? That one of you knew more, than she was letting on? That ONE of you might’ve gotten you stranded in Amphibia on purpose...?

The big bombshell twist of Marcy playing a part too in getting them into this whole debacle completely flips everything upside down. Sasha pushed Anne into taking the Calamity Box, yes, but if Marcy never sent that photo because of her desire to stay with them together forever, then they wouldn’t have been stranded in basically a world full of dangerous creatures and who knows what else. Easily my favorite part of the episode, considering it adds more nuance to a situation that defined Amphibia’s story. It wasn’t just one person’s fault at the end of the day. Sasha bullied Anne into taking the box, Anne didn’t put her foot down to make a stand for something morally questionable, and Marcy took advantage of them both to benefit her own selfish desires for supposedly a “happy ending” not involving them staying apart, due to her parents moving away for a new job. All three girls played an important part on why they got landed into Amphiba. It’s why Anne’s statement to King Andrias, “The three of us may have made some mistake, but you...You’re evil and I’m gonna stop you!”, holds such a real weight to it, as this story continues to solidify how genuinely fleshed out their dynamic is.

Marcy’s super desperate plea to be understood by Anne & Sasha when Andrias revealed her getting them thrown into Amphibia purposefully was hard to watch. On one hand, I felt for Marcy because she didn’t want real life circumstances to tear apart that close connection she had to Sasha & Anne. Sure, she could’ve just kept in touch with them over the phone or chatting online, too. However, Marcy had known them since very early childhood. When you’ve been so attached to someone it can be a devastating thing, depending on just how vulnerable you are emotionally, to start drifting apart. Marcy represents that embodiment of toxic need for togetherness and couldn’t bear to let a possibility, like moving away, throw a wrench into her happiness and friendship, as well.

Never mind Marcy wanting to stay permanently in a different reality, rather than face her’s, but it made this person feel like something more. It gave her a chance to feel truly special in being able to live out a fantasy dream of having such power and freedom that a kid, like herself, couldn’t have had. The freedom to know she is plenty capable of making it out there on her own without Anne having to watch this kid like a hawk. So, to have someone, or something, try taking it away from her terrified Marcy of facing a terrible truth. That she isn’t strong enough after all to live a life without Anne & Sasha by her side completely, where Marcy will never feel truly worthy enough to blossom into her own person. It’s why that line, “I just...didn’t want to be alone...”, carries such a deep pain to it all. Marcy just crumbles into pieces accepting her greatest weakness. As much as Marcy fumbled the ball big time, it’s so easy to empathize with her on the idea of feeling competent enough. Marcy never meant to hurt Anne or Sasha, but the sad crushing punchline is she very much did.

Speaking of which, Anne had every right to be upset and mad, obviously. Anne has been missing so many things from her life before everything went off the wall. Hopping Mall especially highlighted Anne’s emotional desire to give anything just to hear her mother’s singing again. This teenager has been really dealing with a lot of grief in general quite honestly. Anne got into a high stakes battle against Sasha to save new friends, who’d practically became like an adopted family, which left the poor girl traumatized and heartbroken over the end result. She thought finding Marcy would help compensate for it and eventually be able to mend those complications with Sasha to boot. It’s simply painful to see it all blow up in Anne’s face to know not only Sasha betrayed her trust yet again, but realizing Marcy also played a part of responsibility in getting them thrown here. Matt Braly really just decided to slap future trust issues onto Anne finding out Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy were all super dishonest in their intentions at one point or another. Damn, I feel so bad for her.

It makes their embracing hug back in Marcy At The Gates so much harder to watch. Anne was super glad to see her again. Anne had wondered what became of Marcy or even possibly started to think she could even be alive at all. Then come to find out later on Marcy having intentionally ripped her away from a normal life must’ve felt worse then what happened with Sasha. Anne, already done with all of Sasha’s bullshit, thought she could at least expect better from Marcy not letting her down, but that too wasn’t the case. Marcy is very much as flawed as Sasha in what she has done. To think, Anne wanted so badly to get back home, yet she’s staring the very person dead in the eye, who ripped her away from it to begin with. Marcy knew Sasha would talk Anne into taking the box from that thrift shop, even if she wasn’t completely certain it would successfully teleport them away. Regardless of whatever good intentions someone can have in why they did what they did, it still doesn’t absolve them of said mistake. Fact of the matter is, Marcy tragically made her own bed, by choosing to mess with forces she couldn’t begin to comprehend and now has to face consequences, in spite of her not deserving them.

What really got to me was when Marcy tried to spin around Anne’s personal growth and close friendship with the Plantars as all entirely thanks to her. When she said, “I gave you this! I gave you everything!”, I was like, “Nope, that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”, seeing everything that has culminated in Anne’s journey of bettering herself. Marcy didn’t give Anne anything, but a one way ticket to cutting the kid off from her family, presuming she’d be fine with this idea. It’s all kinds of messed up, however what it boils down to is Marcy undermining Anne’s independence and agency. Anne’s moral judgement in decision making was what allowed her to create this new life she made for herself in Amphibia. Anne’s honesty as a whole led her down a path of togetherness, while Marcy’s lying landed her in a result of not wanting to be alone, costing her so much.

“I don’t believe this. We were so focused on each other we couldn’t see what was right in front of us!”

True Colors excels at earning each of its emotional beats because they line up with character motivations down to the last letter. Anne doesn’t want to trust Sasha anymore because of their already rocky past, which leads to her helping King Andrias regain control of his kingdom. Sasha not keeping a lid on her temper, wanting to rule over Amphibia, and trying to reinforce that power dynamic with Anne & Marcy only made things worse for her image of a changed good friend. There wasn’t a chance in Hell Anne would hear Sasha’s reasoning after she flat out tried to take away her frog family, by attempting to use the Calamity Box a bit ago in the episode. Marcy wanted to believe there was a happily ever after in seeing this world traveling idea as their only chance for salvation as friends for life, but it turned out to be something much more sinister, when learning of Andrias’ backstory and his true scumbag nature. All three of their motivations come clashing together, blinding them from a much bigger danger. Something that effectively puts everyone at stake.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale works so excellently, given it covers important dramatic elements it’s been stirring around since Season 1′s early rumblings. Amphibia is a story centered around people’s need for emotional connections. True Colors builds miraculously off what Reunion already did quite well in showing friendships can become rough and they are never easy to deal with. When you have to make a stand it can be a tough pill to swallow on the reality check of maybe this “good friend” of your’s isn’t as nice as you previously thought them to be. Anne having been hurt one too many times now by her former friend sends that message close to home, so much so even Sasha begins to question her morality as a human being. It poignantly encapsulates how this trio’s complex friendship is a serious growing issue needing to be reexamined, overall.

What if Anne’s right..? What if I am a horrible person...?

Something I absolutely love to pieces about True Colors, also a testament to Season 2′s darn good writing, is how much introspective we get from each character on what they’re feeling. We’ve seen plenty of Sasha’s vulnerability before in other episodes centered on her issues, but now we’re getting to the root of it. Sasha is really taking everything more to heart, little by little. Sasha’s understanding what kind of an effect she has on people, seeing the damage it has caused made evident by Percy and Braddock in Barrel’s Warhammer. Grime once told her, “Some dreams have a price and not everyone is willing to pay it.”, where she’s questioning that idealism every passing minute the invasion plan proceeds further into reaching success. Sasha isn’t sure what to do with herself anymore feeling aimless. Those previous episodes had a real impact on her priorities more than she cared to let on with Sasha’s typical tough girl act. This kid has let her guard down more, which scares and confuses Sasha. She’s always used to playing the role of protector it contradicts everything Sasha stands for when the roles are totally reversed because now Anne has made her feel the tremendous change in their growth as individuals.

Sasha’s lifestyle has been all about control that after somewhat learning to be more considerate to Anne & Marcy’s feelings she feels beyond conflicted about what truly matters to her. The most screwed up part of it all is Sasha didn’t want to fight anymore, taking up a pacifist approach after seeing what King Andrias had been hiding from everyone. It’s a fitting punishment for Sasha to try bringing Anne over to work together once more, but getting her pleas for companionship outright ignored. Anne was correct that Sasha had wasted all the chances to be reasonable. Boonchuy tried to hear out Sasha before at The Third Temple. One wanted to start things over again to iron out their serious issues, but the other was driven by bitterness, while only remorseful to a degree at best, of seeing their once weak friend become so independent, mature, and stronger that it drove her up wall. Sasha wanted to take away that “problem” being the Plantars, since in her eyes they’re the source of Anne’s strength, driving a wedge further between the two girls in their heated Reunion 2.0 battle.

True Colors demonstrates the horrific price of no trust, communication, nor teamwork from the three main girls that Andrias smoothly took advantage of, as if they were fiddles.

“That’s the thing about friends isn’t it? The more you love them, the more it hurts when they go.”

King Andrias is quite literally what I wanted Lunaris to be, where DuckTales’ Season 2 finale didn’t impress me on doing. He’s a serious big baddie to the main cast, who follows through on his threats of violence to demonstrate his wide array of arsenal and power. Andrias doesn’t just emotionally manipulate characters, like poor Marcy, but utterly crush them without an ounce of remorse for his actions. When he dropped Sprig out that window after Anne willingly let him have the Calamity Box back I thought they were legit gonna kill this boy off. The way Anne’s flashback montage of her good times with Sprig were eerily shot really didn’t help either on that note. Anne’s Calamity power finally activating is easily up there among stuff, like Dewey risking his life for Della’s disappearance in Last Crash, where the cinematography is shot and animated brilliantly. You feel Anne’s blind raging sadness in every hit she landed on those robots and Andrias. If anyone didn’t believe Sprig was like a little brother to Anne, then I dunno how anyone couldn’t view their bond anymore as such after this hugely defining scene. Anne went bloodthirsty when she believed Sprig to be dead further evidenced when she hugged him in relief afterwards exclaiming, “Sprig!? You’re alive!? Oh, thank goodness...”, which cuts deep so damn much.

Anne was ready to fight every one of Andrias’ troops in that castle to the death, if need be. Before Sprig came back from falling, thanks to Marcy’s quick acting, to comfort Anne, her only goal was to slaughter every opponent in that throne room, along with making Andrias pay dearly for even daring to lay a single finger on anyone of the Plantars. I’m not gonna lie, this pivotal power up reminded me so much Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 after Cell curb stomped Android 16 into pieces with a smirk on his face. Anne Boonchuy’s maddening outburst is a classic testament to the idea of, “Piss off the nicest person and they’ll make it their mission to instill the biggest kind of fear/terror into you.”. showing this kid at her most vulnerable mental state, yet. Sprig & Anne’s cathartic embrace really messed me up in reinforcing just how these two respect, love, and would go above any of their limitations to help the other out. Sprig’s “death” scene was a masterful bait by the writers into making us think someone was gonna die and it was gonna be a poor kid, no less.

However, it was actually all just a bait and switch for the real, “Oh, shit. They really just did that”, moment with Marcy unexpectedly getting run through with Andrias’ gigantic sword. In a last ditch effort, Marcy wanted to atone for what she had a hand in getting them all into. Marcy was ironclad determined in making her own stand for what was right trying to save the people she endangered. Akin to what Sasha did in Reunion for saving Anne’s life, Marcy does the exact same here. Although, unfortunately this time, no one is here to protect Marcy from escaping death, like Grime catching Sasha from plummeting at Toad Tower. Marcy couldn’t react in time because she was so focused on helping her dear friends out. She wanted to prove to herself at least one time, “I’ve screwed up so much stuff with my friends. Maybe, just maybe. If I get my friends back home, it’ll prove I’m not an entirely crappy person for setting these events into motion.”. Marcy’s own deep seeded remorse is what saved Anne & the Plantars, while being the cause of her own untimely demise at Andrias’ hands.

This scene is what no doubt encouraged the warning sign for younger viewers Disney decided to make for them. It’s impressive how far Matt and his crew are willing to go for intense dramatic content. Andrias trying to crush Polly with his fist after destroying Frobo with casual ease, dropping Sprig out of the window from up sky high, and stabbing Marcy with his powerful sword displays his cold blooded brutality. Doesn’t matter who you are. If you get in the way of Andrias’ plans for multiverse domination, then he’ll throw anyone into their own grave, be it man, woman, or child. That’s the mark of a truly terrifying antagonist.

Andrias didn’t care who had to be hurt or manipulated to get back the box, so he could invade other worlds with Earth being his next prime target for invasion. Marcy’s fate is a horrifyingly poetic statement, since Sasha stated to Anne in a flashback from Marcy At The Gates, “One of these days, she’s gonna get herself killed.”, with True Colors tying back to this line in a disturbing manner. Something that sends chills down my spine is we get to see the full extent of how far Andrias shoved the sword through her body. We don’t just see the entry point of where it hit her, but it even zooms out to show the whole thing. Real talk, I got serious Avatar The Last Airbender vibes from this scene. Reminded me so much of Aang getting suddenly zapped with lightning by Azula when he tried to enter the Avatar state. Marcy didn’t want to be alone so badly she ended up inevitably dying alone trying to send Anne back home to their reality. One Hell of a way to close off Marcy’s last moments in Season 2, until her inevitable resurrection happens in Season 3 now that King Andrias has her in a tube tank that looks tied to his master.

True Colors ends on a deeply bittersweet cliffhanger leaving the fates of Sasha & Grime totally unknown if they’ll get away by the skin of their teeth, or get captured by Andrias’ soldiers and robots. Anne finally returned home with the Plantars, but at a deadly cost of leaving her other close friends behind in Amphibia. After all the isolation, heartbreak, and endurance she went through with her frog family Anne finds herself at a total loss for words. Once again, Anne is in a state of solitude of not knowing if her friends are really okay or not, mirroring the start of Season 1 when she landed into Amphibia’s world. It’s safe to say to say that, “Finally me and it’s no big deal.”, lyrics have aged terribly for Anne’s realization of finding her own identity came at the expense of getting separated from friends she’s known since kindergarten. Definitely see Anne becoming a lot more protective of the Plantars now more than ever after watching Marcy drop to the ground from being stabbed in front of her eyes.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale is exactly how you capitalize on a winning story telling formula of dramatic writing, lovable characters with layered depth, and increasing the stakes of your story in an organic manner. True Colors is a finale that should be talked about for a long time to come, as it not only showed how worth the wait it was, but reinforces why Amphibia is a truly great series. It’s unafraid to take its characters to dark places in a way that feels totally earned.

Amphibia Season 2 is everything a sequel to a first film should be.

#amphibia true colors #amphibia spoilers #amphibia season 2 #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright #sprig plantar #polly plantar #hop pop plantar

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thewidowsghost · 3 years

Text

Stay Strong, Alex - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

"Detective (L/n)," Rick sneers. "And they say there's never a cop around when you need one."

"So you know me?" (Y/n) asks, her voice soft.

"Of course," Rick answers. "I took a whole year planning this. Watching Alex, preparing," (Y/n) folds her hands together and she can hear Kara pacing behind her near the door. "I know everything."

"How did you know I was Supergirl?" Kara snarks.

"That day at the beach," Rick replies. "Before you started wearing glasses." He pauses. "I had no idea that Alex would end up playing for the other team, so to speak." (Y/n) swallows thickly. "I was just happy she showed up on the date. And then there was a crash. And Alex's kid sister walked away without a scratch," Rick says calmly, looking up at Kara, who standing over (Y/n)'s shoulder. "People at school said it was adrenaline, but, uh . . ."

"But you didn't believe that," (Y/n) finishes, her head tilting a little.

Rick nods, "I saw Kara Danvers do something amazing. And it stayed with me. I knew Kara was living in National City, and then Supergirl showed up in National City . . ." Rick chuckles. "I put two and two together. I knew it was you."

"What happened to you?" Kara asks softly. "I remember when Alex had chickenpox, I was eating lunch by myself," Kara's voice sounds a little wistful as she remembers the Earth portion of her childhood. "You came and sat with me."

Rick chuckles again. "I was fourteen," as Rick begins, (Y/n) rises from her chair to lean against the table. "And I didn't have the nice house or the perfect family that you and your sister had."

"You think we had it easy?" Kara asks skeptically. "You have no idea what Alex sacrificed for me. Or what I was going through!"

"Why?" Rick sneers. "Because you had to hide your superpowers? I was hiding bruises!" Rick is yelling now and (Y/n) had taken half a step backward. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have your mother tell you your garbage every single night?" The blonde man makes eye contact with (Y/n) and the young woman crosses her arms. "A belt whenever you had the wrong opinion? And then I found a lifeline. A father my mom kept from me. And he saved me from her and he moved me away from Midvale. And even though he was always struggling, he always made sure there was food on the table and he got me enough money to go to college. And then three years ago, the state took him from me."

"Your father killed two people," (Y/n) says, her voice low. "He confessed."

"They had it coming," Rick growls and (Y/n) straightens, her arms still folded over her chest. "And now I'm going to rescue him like he rescued me." Rick pauses. "I can't believe we're still talking about me! You have twenty-four hours and eleven minutes." Kara stiffens as Rick continues, "Come on, Kara, show us some of that rah-rah Midvale Junior High Spirit." Rick is yelling now. "Free my dad! Or your sister dies."

Kara growls, zooms over, flips the table, and pins Rick to the wall.

"Oh, you use half this much gusto in springing my dad, you'll have your sister back for game night."

"Kara! We're done here!" (Y/n)'s voice cracks.

Kara lets go of Rick and the man drops to the ground. "Hey. You know what'll be fun?" Rick asks. (Y/n) frowns, an eyebrow raising as she steps back from the man. "Finding out which one of you loves her more." (Y/n) closes her eyes momentarily, a wave of anguish washing over her. "Honestly, I wouldn't know where to place my bet," Rick sneers and (Y/n) swallows thickly.

Kara frowns at the man and after a minute, the two women go to leave the room, (Y/n) pausing for a second.

"Go Stallions," Rick grins.

Just outside the room, Kara speaks, "I'm giving him one minute, then I'm going back in there."

"No," (Y/n) says and Kara turns to look at her, Kara's eyes blazing.

"Why?" Kara snaps.

"Let him sweat it for a while," (Y/n) tells her, her voice softer than usual as she talks to her girlfriend's sister. "We got what we wanted."

"What?" Kara asks. "All we know is how he knows my identity."

"We know that Rick's pinned his whole sense of self-worth on Peter Thompson," (Y/n) explains, her voice still soft. "Thompson is the key to getting Alex back."

Kara's blazing eyes seem to extinguish as she considers (Y/n)'s words.

. . .

An hour or so later, (Y/n) and Peter Thompson walk into Rick's integration room.

(Y/n) closes the door behind Thompson.

Rick grins down at the table, before standing up after a moment.

"Ricky," Thompson says with a smile.

"Dad," Rick says, and the two embrace.

"All that time in prison, I imagined a day when . . . I could talk to you without a pane of glass between us."

"The DEO moved heaven and Earth to free this man," (Y/n) says. "We did what you wanted. Now, tell us where Alex is."

"No. No, not until my father and I are far from here," Rick says.

"You think we're stupid?" (Y/n) asks. "I showed you mine. Your turn."

"So you can toss us in Gitmo?" Thompson asks. "Not gonna happen."

(Y/n) shakes her head in disbelief.

"Maybe he gives you a piece. A little token of goodwill," Thompson adds. "You gotta give them something, Ricky. That's how it works. Just tell them where she is." Thompson narrows his eyes at his son.

"Well, you really nailed his essence, I'll give you that," Rick says.

"What?" (Y/n) asks, stepping forward, her arms crossing.

"I mean, that thing . . ." Rick says, studying his father's face. "He couldn't decide whether to hug me or not. That's vintage Dad." Rick sits back down in his metal chair.

"What are you talking about?" Thompson asks, walking up to stand beside the table.

"My father would never be playing these games. He'd be wanting to get the hell away from here and making sure that he never went back to prison," Rick's expression is one of anger. "I've been planning this for a year. Do you really think I didn't prepare for you," Rick pauses, looking up at Thompson, "Martian?"

Thompson walks over to (Y/n) and shifts back into himself.

"You're down to twenty-three hours and fourteen minutes," Rick says as he gazes at (Y/n) and J'oon. "And counting."

(Y/n) closes her eyes, pressing her index finger and thumb to the bridge of her nose.

. . .

Winn runs down the hall. "Guys! We found Alex. I found her."

Kara - who is standing with Mon-el - turns to face Winn. "You did?" Kara asks frantically.

"We got a ping from her subdermal tracker," Winn explains. "She's not far!"

. . .

Back in the interrogation room, (Y/n) is sitting across from Rick, her hands folded and resting on the table in front of her.

"(Y/n)," Kara says, opening the door to the room. "Winn found Alex."

"What? How?" (Y/n) asks quickly, rising from her chair to look at Kara.

"I guess you underestimated my sister," Kara says, looking past (Y/n) to look at Rick. "Let's go."

But (Y/n) pauses, turning to look at Rick. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"You're delusional," Kara sneers. "And the second we get back here with Alex, you're going to prison with your dad."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Rick says with a shrug, and fear surges through (Y/n)'s heart.

Kara strides out of the room and (Y/n) meets Rick's eyes, holding the stare for a moment.

(Y/n) runs out of the room. "Watch him," (Y/n) tells the guard as she runs past him after Kara. "Hey, stop," (Y/n) tells Kara. "Malverne still thinks he's in control," (Y/n) tells her.

Kara turns, looking highly annoyed with (Y/n) at this point.

"He's not acting like someone who just lost," (Y/n) continues. "He didn't even flinch. It's like he expected this."

"No, no, no, we are not listening to that psycho," Kara says, walking closer to (Y/n). "Every minute we wait for matters."

"I - I want to get her as badly as you do," (Y/n) retorts, "but we can't punch our way out of this. We've got to get this right."

"If the shoe were on the other foot, Alex would already be out the door. I'm not waiting," Kara argues.

"You're not the only one who cares about her!" (Y/n) says, her voice rising.

"I'm going!" Kara yells over her shoulder as she strides out of the DEO.

(Y/n) swallows thickly and looks at the ground.

. . .

Kara flies across the city and lands in a warehouse, crashing through the roof.

"Kara!" comes a faint voice.

"Alex!" Kara yells in reply.

"I'm down here!"

Kara runs over to a metal plate on the floor and bends the metal, puling up the plate. Throwing the plate aside, Kara freezes, reading the writing on the wall: 'NOW YOU HAVE FOUR.'

"Four?" Kara asks. "What . . ." There is a rapid beeping and the timer next to the computer screen flashes to four hours.

. . .

In Alex's cell, water begins rushing into the cement cage. Alex, panicking, grabs her jacket to try to plug the pipe.

. . .

"Oh, my God," Kara whispers, her voice full of fury.

. . .

Kara walks back into the DEOs' headquarters, holding the laptop in one hand.

Entering Rick's room again, Kara sets the laptop on the table.

"Where is she?" Kara asks, her voice steely.

"I told you not to go . . ." Rick says calmly.

"Tell me where she is now!" Kara thunders, slamming her hands down on the table.

"I gave you thirty-six hours to break my father out of prison," Rick replies. "But you didn't listen. So now, that room is gonna fill up with water in less than four hours. I think it's time you got moving."

Kara's lip quivers. "Let me talk to Alex."

Rick leans forward and presses a few of the keys and there is a beep.

Kara turns the laptop around and leans down to talk to her sister through the computer.

"Alex," Kara says, her voice quavering.

"Kara! I sent out a signal, I thought you were coming," Alex says, the water up to her waist now.

"He re-routed the IP address. He sent us somewhere else. Do you have any idea where you are?"

"I was unconscious. I could be hours away or I could be in the city," Alex replies, a frown spreading across her face. "I don't know."

Rick leans forward. "Alex, it's Rick. It don't want to hurt you. I keep on telling your sister that. Tell her to get my father, and this can all be over. You can come home and get dry."

"No. Kara, no," Alex says, pointing at the camera. "You do not give that terrorist what he wants. You cannot let yourself be blackmailed. You cannot open yourself up to that, ever. Do you understand me? Supergirl is better than me."

(Y/n) enters the room and, seeing Alex on the screen, runs over. "Alex!"

"(Y/n)?" Alex asks.

"I'm right here," (Y/n) replies.

"(Y/n), I need to speak to you alone," Alex says, and (Y/n) grabs the laptop and walks out of the room.

(Y/n) stands down one of the hallways. "Hun, everyone here is working hard and we're going to find you."

"The water is rising fast and there are things that I need to say," Alex says, her voice cracking a little.

"No," (Y/n) says, tears welling up in her eyes. "Don't start talking like this is the end."

"I don't want it to be, but in case that it is . . ." Alex says, pausing for a moment.

"It's not," (Y/n) whispers. "It can't be. You're a badass, Alex. And if anyone could figure out a way to get themself out of there, it's you. You're gonna hold on until I find you," (Y/n)'s voice cracks, and a tear slides down her cheek.

"(Y/n), listen to me, please," Alex tries to get out.

"No," (Y/n) argues desperately. "We just had our first Valentine's Day and I want to do more with you. I want more firsts. I want a first vacation. We haven't even argued about where we're gonna go yet, and it's bound to happen. Or what to name our first dog. Do you want to get a dog?"

(Y/n) lets out a watery laugh. "See, there's a lifetime of firsts that we're going to do together. So," (Y/n)'s voice quavers, "you hold on, okay? Hold on until I get to you. You promise. Promise me!"

"Yeah, um . . ." Alex pauses, scratching the back of her neck. "Let's name her Gertrude or we could adopt one from the animal shelter you volunteer at."

"I -" Alex tries to say, but the video cuts out.

"What?" (Y/n) whispers, typing furiously on the keyboard. "Alex!" (Y/n), frustrated with worry, tosses the broken laptop to the ground.

"What happened?" Kara asked, striding over to (Y/n).

(Y/n) meets Kara's gaze, her eyes alight with barely controlled anger. "I-I told you not to rush in. N-now you've made things worse."

"I did what I thought was right . . ." Kara argues.

"I should have been heard," (Y/n) says, her eyes narrowing. "I should have been listened to. I'm her girlfriend."

"I'm her sister!" Kara argues angrily.

"And you think that trumps me?" (Y/n) asks. "That you know what's right for her. I . . ." (Y/n) falters. "I got her to be herself, Kara." (Y/n)'s voice cracks. "I-I have just as much to lose as you." (Y/n)'s eyes burn. "You should have listened to me."

Word Count: 2,305 words

Taglist:

@procrastinatingsapphictrash

@makegoodchoices

@fanboy7794

@theofficialzivadavid

@confusinggemini612

#alex danvers x reader #alex danvers x fem reader #supergirl x reader #supergirl x fem reader #reader insert #fem reader #female reader

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high-supernatural · 3 years

Text

Secrets

Kai Parker x Female Reader/Character

Word Count: 1370

Warnings: typical tvd themes, sick Kai

Summary: Kai merged with Luke and started feeling different soon after. He got sick and the reader took care of him, throwing him into a fit of confusion. She doesn’t judge him for anything and has the understanding that he’s a product of his environment and acts out of revenge and distrust of others. Kai knows this after having a conversation with her and decides to find out all of her secrets too.

***since y’all like the one shots better than the series, I’m gonna write one shots for female readers under the name V for what I would’ve/will write in the series***

A week went by since Kai did the merge and V watched him like a worried mother the whole time. He was acting different. He had more emotion; he wasn’t trying to push her buttons as much. Part of her worried the merge changed him so much he’d break the pact they had, but she didn’t want to mention it to him yet – he seemed happy.

They watched a movie one night and she could’ve sworn she saw him tear up a little but when she asked him if he was crying, he said he had new allergies.

She didn’t believe him and her suspicions were confirmed when she heard him sniffling in the shower later that night.

She heard the shower turn off and pretended to be asleep to see what he’d do – he covered her with the blanket next to her and sat on the bed they had in the same motel room they stayed in since before the merge. She fell asleep like that eventually and woke up later to find Kai laying next to her with no blankets, backs turned to each other, googling “how to process your emotions”. She didn’t say anything, she turned her chest towards his back and cuddled next to him, pretending to be asleep when he whispered her name to see if she was awake.

He disappeared the next day, finding out from Damon later on that he went to his house asking about “processing emotions”. She didn’t talk to Kai about it, she figured he didn’t want to talk to her about it since he confided in somebody who tried to kill him instead of her.

Instead, she just gave him her normal affection with a little extra on the side. Forced hugs, sleeping where he slept, sitting a little too close to him on the couch – not like he was a pro at boundaries either – and food, lots of food.

Kai woke her up one night coughing in the bathroom. When he came out she asked, “what’s wrong,” Kai just said, “nothing,” and shut the light off. She saw the shadow of his face and knew he didn’t look good so she held her arms out motioning for him to lay with her. He reluctantly did, and he felt burning up.

“Are you sick?” she asked laying on her side against his back with her hand on his forehead.

“No, I’m fine,” is all he said.

“Well, you’re burning up,” she said and laid her head on his, “I’m fine,” he said again.

She covered him with blankets but still woke up in the morning and found him shivering, hotter than before.

She went out to get cold medicine and came back to Kai coughing in the bathroom again. She was about to walk in to see what was wrong when he said, “don’t come in here,” she ignored him because he would’ve ignored her, “oh my god, I can’t stop puking, I’m dying,” he said before coughing again.

“Kai, that’s not puke, that’s blood,” she said walking over to where he was leaning against the wall by the toilet to grab his arm and get him up.

“What are you doing?” he said groggy.

“Taking you to the couch, get up” she walked him to the couch with his arm over her shoulders as he groaned and laid down.

She put pillows behind him and held his mouth with a towel when he coughed more. She wet a towel with cold water and went back to sit next to him on the couch where he laid, feeling his forehead again and placing the washcloth there to cool it down before he coughed, and she held the towel for him again.

“What are you doing?” He asked again.

“You’re sick, I’m taking care of you, idiot,” she responded.

He responded only by coughing again and pulling the wet washcloth over his face, groaning.

She sat on the floor beside him, putting on movies while she read more occult books. This went on for a few days and Kai wasn’t getting any better.

Every time he’d cough, she’d hold a towel or bucket for him, put cold rags on his face, give him medicine and food, and trying to figure out what was wrong.

On the third day she sat on the small portion of the couch he wasn’t taking up with his body to put another cold rag on him to lower his temperature when he grabbed her forearm, pulling it away and looked her in the eyes, “why are you doing this?” he asked, sounding slightly angry.

“Doing what, Kai,” she responded with the same attitude he gave her.

“Taking care of me, what do you want from me,” he coughed.

“I don’t want anything from you except for you to not die, get over yourself,” she snapped back.

“You’re lying, nobody’s this nice without a motive,”

“I am so get used to it or take care of yourself,” she yanked her arm away and put the washcloth on his forehead again, walking to a desk behind the couch where he couldn’t see her unless he got up.

He moved himself to lean on his forearm, slowly getting up.

“Stop lying, V,” he wobbled when he stood up, “you can’t fool me anymore,” he grabbed the arm of the couch and sat back down coughing.

V kept her desk chair facing straight and looked at him, “I’m not fooling you Kai, it might be hard to believe somebody wants to not watch you suffer, but believe it, or get out,”

“You’re so dumb,” he muttered.

“What—”

“You’re so dumb. So desperate to not have people leave you that you go way out of your way to do all this and get no results,” he said.

V stood up for this one, “I’m desperate for people to not leave me? I can see right through you, Kai, and all I see is a scared little boy who wants so badly to be accepted that he’d do anything, but instead, he turns himself into the bad guy to push people away because he’s become too scared to have the acceptance he’s been longing for all his life, so if you wanna talk about desperate—” she stopped herself.

“Oh yeah? What else do you see, V?” he breathed.

She pondered if she should unleash all this or not for a second and decided she didn’t have anything to lose, “I see a kid who wants to be loved but knows nothing about it because he was never given that chance. How mad you are about what happened to you that you have no idea where to even begin placing it. Someone who’d begged all their life to change or to have another chance and feeling like they’ve screwed it up each time by not being who someone else wanted them to be, so they gave up—”

“I take it you know more about me than you say,” he asked with dark eyes.

“I know everything,” she said with eyes that overpowered his, “and I’m still here, so don’t come for me like that ever again,” she sat back down as he watched.

He thought for a second about what she said and somehow came to the conclusion that he didn’t need to be somebody else, but he needed somebody else’s magic.

“I’m going to find Jo,” he got up expecting her to try to stop him, but she didn’t, she let him leave.

(part 2 next)

#kai parker #kai parker x reader #kai parker x you #kai parker imagine #kai parker fanfic #kai parker fluff #malachai parker #tvd #tvd au #tvd fanfiction #tvd series

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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

Text

Thicker Than Water (Part 4)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (here) Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Ao3 link HERE

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He awoke sore and badly rested, tears dried on his face.

Jaskier made it through the next day. He ate a little of the food Ciri offered him, only because when he tried to decline the first time her eyes got large and her bottom lip showed just the barest hint of a tremble. He couldn’t bear it. The dry horse bread that was usual for traveling rations crumbled in his mouth. He was so hungry, it was one of the best things he’d ever tasted.

Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to even unsling his lute from his shoulder during their trek. His fingers itched to play, of course. He continued his story for Ciri and in his mind he played music for the background, he just couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t sell his lute in this next town, but before they reached Kaer Morhen he would have to. It would give them money, and he wouldn’t be a burden. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and continued telling Ciri the story.

He noticed a bit before mid day that Geralt was watching him. That wasn’t out of sorts, of course. Yennefer and Ciri were watching him too, he was an excellent storyteller and the tale was enthralling. Geralt didn’t seem to be paying attention to the story though. He was staring-- glowering--brow low and furrowed, at Jaskier.

Jaskier felt hurt lance through him and he almost staggered, avoiding Geralt’s gaze. He knew Geralt didn’t want him along, didn’t want him at all, but he couldn’t even pretend? He couldn’t go back to their relationship before? Not the warm, almost companionable silences that had been nurtured between them, but the grunts and stone faced silence of the beginning of their acquaintance.

Jaskier breathed through the pain in his chest. Twenty years of silences, all kinds of them, stony and friendly and sleepy and painful and quietly nice. But they were back to the beginning, or worse, Geralt angry and Jaskier’s voice filling in places it didn’t belong.

“Jaskier?”

That was Ciri, and Jaskier realized that he’d actually trailed off mid-sentence.

“Sorry little highness,” he smiled and gave a funny little bow. “I’m but a simple entertainer, a poet and a fool, sometimes my mind runs away from me.”

“Fool is right,” Yennefer snorted. It wasn’t totally unkind, but it still stung. It stung even more when Geralt, so taciturn all day, snorted with laughter at her comment. Jaskier felt his ears burn and his chest ache.

“Now, where was I?”

“The king’s son met the North Wind,” Ciri said, matching Jaskier’s steps. “And he has to beat him in a game of wit to gain knowledge of where the sorcerer’s daughter was taken, that’s what you said, but you didn’t tell us what game yet.”

At least someone treasured his words, Jaskier thought. Although they weren’t worth much, he threw one out after the other.

Like garbage, whispered the back of his mind.

“Ah yes,” he said instead. “the North Wind sat before the king’s son, and laid out a chess set made of ice and wind.”

“How can chess pieces be made of wind?”

Jaskier smiled, Ciri asked questions at all the right places. “The North Wind wanders, he goes everywhere, blowing cold breath across The Continent. When the North Wind is present and we breath our breath can be seen.” Jaskier smiled here and added an aside, “My little sister used to call it dragon smoke. But by the same magic that gives the North Wind a body to walk the world, he can take our frozen breath and turn it cold and solid as glass.”

Jaskier let himself tell the story on autopilot. His feet ached. He’d been darning the socks he was wearing for a year or more, but he wasn’t good at it and the lumps were rubbing his toes raw. Worse than that, the soles of his boots were almost worn through. Just one more thing he’d have to buy.

He felt ashamed of himself. His boots had been going thin for a while, and instead of saving his coin and getting them repaired or just buying new ones, he’d drowned himself in drink, feeling sorry. Oh, he hadn’t known he would be making a trip up a mountain, but he needed boots regardless. No wonder Geralt had always been upset with him, he always put pleasure over sense, couldn’t even spend coin sensibly.

Couldn’t darn socks, couldn’t budget his coin, couldn’t shut up. A fool.

He stumbled on a tree root and nearly swore. Couldn’t even walk right. One of the blisters building on his foot had burst, he was sure. It was easy to tell, the pain had gone from a rubbing ache to stinging and warm. Only years of practice and performance kept him from interrupting the story.

Something must have shown on his face though, or his scent changed or whatever because Geralt was staring at him intently. That face, always so unreadable.

Jaskier wasn’t going to give him anything else to scowl about. He kept walking, keeping the story rolling and his voice light. His bones ached. He had to stop for just a moment when a button, long past hanging loosely on his doublet, finally pulled free. He picked it up and the head rush nearly took him to the ground. He’d eaten little, slept poorly, and the only food he’d had in a long time before this was ale. He blinked the grey from his vision, trying not to let the panic show when it didn’t go away as quickly as he’d have liked.

It was okay. It was all going to be okay. They’d make it to the village by nightfall. They wouldn’t sleep there of course but he could get proper food. Maybe even slip away and catch a quick nap in a stable or hayloft or something. His whole body was buzzing with a sort of exhausted energy and his heart was pounding.

Jaskier reflected that he hadn’t been well before meeting up with Geralt and his little family. He’d been sick with drink and heartache and had not enough food then too.

Smile through the pain.

This wasn’t even bad as performances could go. Once he’d actually broken a finger just before a set at Oxenfurt. Simple clumsiness, he’d closed his index finger in a door, but he’d played his whole set, with a perfect score from his professor.

It grew darker, the sun just setting when they reached a field at the edge of the town. It was a large open field and, in warmer months, it was likely home to fairs and large market days. Probably in these rural areas people traveled for a week to bring their goods and livestock to this town. It didn’t matter now, mid autumn settling into late autumn. To Jaskier the town was nameless.

They set up camp in the field. It left them exposed to being seen, but they hid themselves behind a small rise on the edge of the field, blocking them mostly from sight. Still, Geralt seemed on edge. Jaskier wasn’t sure it was about the camp. Geralt kept looking over at him with his eyebrows pressed together. Whenever he did that it formed this little crease right between his brows that Jaskier wanted to kiss away.

Jaskier bit his lip, hard, to focus on anything other than that.

The three of them sat, too tired to talk much more. Jaskier had finished most of the story and decided to leave the rest for the next day they were traveling a lot, to give Ciri something else to think about. She was definitely Calanthe’s blood. They traveled all day and she never complained, but also told them when she needed to stop, advocating for herself in no uncertain terms. It was the princess herself who interrupted his thoughts.

“You said you had a sister, do you have lots of siblings?”

“Not really,” Jaskier said, settling down on the ground and feeling his bones pop. His blisters were definitely bleeding inside his boots too. “Two older brothers, Henrik and Teodor, and I had a younger sister, Lotte.”

“Had?”

“She was sickly, always too small for her age,” Jaskier said quietly. “I learned the lute for her, at first. She liked music and was often bedridden. A fever took her when she was about your age.” Jaskier looked down at his battered boots.

“I’m sorry,” Ciri whispered.

“It’s allright little highness, it’s been almost thirty years now. Time flies.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings,” Geralt said. It was growly, but Geralt always used that tone.

“You never really asked.”

Dinner was a quiet affair. Jaskier ate the last of the rations in his pack, waving away Ciri’s offerings and showing her his food as proof that he had some. It didn’t really settle the hunger that had been eating him from the inside out all day, but at this point he figured he could eat a mountain and still have room for dessert.

“Tomorrow,” Geralt said gruffly once dinner was cleared away. “We don’t all enter the town as a group. Yen and Ciri go together. I go alone. Jaskier goes alone.”

Jaskier nodded, so did Ciri and Yennefer.

“If we see eachother, act as though we don’t know eachother,” Geralt said, then he turned his gaze on Jaskier. “Don’t attract too much attention.”

Jaskier bristled at getting his own private reprimand. “I’m a bard, Geralt,” he said. “How am I supposed to earn coin if I don’t play.”

Geralt grunted. “I didn’t say don’t play just no... don’t do the whole...” he gestured a vauge hand.

“The whole...me?” Jaskier said sarcastically. He was pulling at the lion’s tail he knew, but he was in pain and tired and hungry and Geralt had no right to be so cruel.

“The whole bright colors, loud and annoying thing. Country bard, not court bard, got it?”

Loud and annoying.

“Got it,” Jaskier said, looking back down at his boots. He didn’t say that none of his clothes could have passed for courtly anymore anyway.

They set about getting ready for bed. Ciri gave him a quick hug before she and Yennefer disappeared into their magical tent. Jaskier sat and pulled off his boots, not letting a single flicker of pain show on his face. He knew Geralt would be able to smell blood, but Geralt had gone to get water from the nearby river. He had to peel his socks off and yes, there was blood there, by now stuck into the threadbare fabric. He let himself wince then. He rinsed off the wounds but he was without bandages, so he just dried off the area and put his other pair of socks on. He only had the two pairs anyway, but at least the blisters would stay dry.

He rolled himself into his bedroll and thought of tomorrow. At least there were no tree roots here.

The next day dawned slowly, instead of bright pinks and oranges it was a kind of runny yellow that just leeched into the sky before fading into early morning blue. Jaskier watched in admiration as Yennefer changed Geralt’s hair to short and dark, and then gave herself brown eyes and a slightly different bone structure. To look at both of them was odd, because Jaskier could see the similarities. Yennefer’s nose was changed and her cheekbones were a little different, but it was still her, and Geralt just looked like a different, although quite handsome, version of himself. Ciri was simply given mousy brown hair and some extra freckles.

Just like that, the perfect and all powerful family looked like two normal people and one witcher who was still clearly a witcher but not the white wolf. Jaskier shouldered his lute. He’d cleaned up the scruff he’d been growing into a more respectable look and with his longer hair and tatty cloak he looked like any poor traveling musician. If he’d traded the lute for a shortbow he could have looked like a woodsman, totally nondescript.

He was entering from a different direction, so as not to arouse suspicion, and so was Geralt. Jaskier began walking around, so that he could enter from the east. Yen and Ciri would walk into town the closest direction, and Geralt was entering from the west. This early, it was unlikely they would have been seen all together.

Jaskier made his way to the eastern edge of the town and walked in, scanning the streets. If this were a farm people would be up and awake long before now, farmers wake well before dawn, but this was a town, and so few people wandered the streets. Shop keepers were just beginning to open up. Jaskier bought a couple pears, slightly overripe but cheaper because of it, off of a fruit seller and had breakfast. He tried to lock into his mind all the shops around so he could find his supplies easiest later.

His mind was resisting him though. In spite of the softer ground, Jaskier had still slept badly last night. His body ached and he wished he could find somewhere warm to lay for an hour or two. Instead he found the well.

As wells should be, this one was right in the center of town. He set down his lute case beside it, tuned his lovely lady, and began to play.

In his very first few months after leaving Oxenfurt he had learned this trick, and used it often. If you get into a town early, play at the well. People get their water first thing in the morning and there you are.

A few young women with yokes and buckets smiled at him and he nodded in return. The day brightened a little further as the sun crept above the buildings and more people came to gather in the town square. They weren’t there to hear Jaskier, not at first, most of them came for water, or to chat with neighbors, or discuss business. Many of them gathered around him though.

Coins clattered into the case. Mostly coppers, but in a little town like this that was quite normal.

“As sweet Polly Oliver lay musing in bed, A sudden strange fancy came into her head. "Nor father nor mother shall make me false prove, I'll 'list as a soldier, and follow my love,” he sang.

“So early next morning she softly arose, And dressed herself up in her dead brother's clothes. She cut her hair close, and she stained her face brown, And went for a soldier to fair Rinde Town.”

Sweet Polly Oliver was one of his favorites, a simple country song about a girl and her lover in wartime. This town was far enough north that with luck Nilfgaard wouldn’t attack, but the anxiety threatened.

Jaskier gave a good performance, perhaps not his best, but he was tired and cold and the flagstones beneath his feet were very hard. He danced about, playing sweet folk songs and jigs and reels, delighting in the people who swept up and danced along. Still, though, he felt his feet bleeding inside his boots. He played from just after dawn until perhaps an hour after noon before bowing away and taking his coin.

He’d done better than he’d expected, but there wasn’t nearly enough coin for all the things he’d need for Kaer Morhen, and extra food to help Geralt and Ciri. He’d buy what he needed now, and they’d stop again in Ard Carraigh before the keep. He’d sell his lute there, it was a large city, and he’d get a good price. The thought still made him ache, though.

It wasn’t just his emotions causing him pain, he realised. The aches he’d been experiencing were in his chest lately, and both physical and emotional. He just needed more rest.

Jaskier slipped through back alleys and bent streets. He’d seen a stable on his way into town. He stepped in quietly, startling a stable hand, no more than a boy, who’d been quietly talking to a horse.

“You’re the bard,” he said. “Saw you in the square jus’ this morning.”

“That’s right,” Jaskier said, bowing a little. “I’m afraid I’ll be moving on this evening and--”

“And you want to have a kip in the stables,” said the boy. “Yeah lots o’ musicians and peddlers do that. Rule is though, I got to get a coin off ‘em first as payment. I’m sorry, but I get a beating if’n I don’t.”

“No worries,” Jaskier said, he’d expected as much. He handed the boy two copper coins. “There’s pay, won’t have you getting beaten for my sake, the second coin is to wake me in two hours.”

The boy gave him a lopsided grin. “You got it sir, thanks.”

Jaskier snuggled up in the hay loft. He’d often done it, it was pretty common, if you couldn’t buy a stay at an inn or especially if you just needed a ‘kip’ as the boy had said, during the day. He’d slept in haystacks once in a while on the road too. They were sort of comfortable and surprisingly warm and, best of all, robbers didn’t get you if you kept yourself mostly under the hay.

The scent of hay and oats and horses lulled him to sleep.

He dreamed about haystacks. For some reason Roach was in the haystack with him. Geralt and Ciri too, even Yennefer. It was a crowded haystack indeed, and it grew smaller and smaller until Jaskier had to leave it and sleep on the ground so that the others weren’t squished.

He awoke to the stable boy nudging him.

“Pardon me mister,” he said. “But it’s been two hours.”

Jaskier thanked him and brushed off his clothes.

The shops were doing a good trade this afternoon and he’d be sure to be a face in the crowd. He bought a small cooking pot and plenty of ground oats and barley for porridge at one shop. They were light to carry and owner packaged them nicely, first in one cheap, cloth drawstring bag, and then in another such bag, but with the drawstring on a different side, so he was unlikely to lose food.

In another stall he bought plenty of nuts, walnuts were cheap here and would keep well. Good for traveling and they had protein. Some dried jerky, dried peas, and dried lentils finished his food shopping, and also most of his coin.

It was three days to Ard Carraigh, another week to trek up to the keep. The food would sustain him for that long, and they’d probably just pool their food to make sure everyone was fed. Still, he wasn’t being a burden, not too much.

He couldn’t afford new boots, gloves, or a cloak right now, but with the last of his coin he bought a new pair of thick, warm socks, a small roll of bandages, and a couple pieces of candied ginger in a little paper twist. He tucked them all away and left the town, disappearing back to the field and their little camp well before the sun set.

Jaskier’s heart sunk to see that he was the last to arrive. Everything was packed up, they couldn’t risk staying in the same place two nights in a row. Geralt grunted at him, but didn’t unleash any thoughts on Jaskier being a burden, so he counted himself lucky.

He hung his head a little at having delayed their parting and trekked after the perfect little family, his pack much heavier than it had been. Ciri slid her hand into his and they walked on in silence. The hand was nice though.

In an odd way, it hurt, too. He wasn’t part of the family, so he didn’t really deserve this, but it was painfully good to have just a taste of being wanted.

What would happen, he wondered, when the winter was over. He was a danger to Geralt and Ciri if Nilfgaard found him. He wasn’t wanted by Geralt at all. Jaskier was reminded once again that it would be so much easier for Geralt to kill him, or for Yennefer to wipe his memory. Maybe he could fake his death to get Nilfgaard of his trail.

“Jaskier?” Ciri asked. “How did you become a bard?”

Jaskier looked down at her, maudlin thoughts interuppted. “Oh, well, it’s not as though you have to register, you just become one. Walking into an inn and saying ‘let me play for you pretty please I need food’ is a good start.”

“No,” Ciri giggled. “I meant, you said you learned the lute for your sister, but you write your own music and stuff too.”

“Oh, well, anyone can write music if they have an instrument and a good enough memory,” Jaskier said. “Indeed, many of the greatest bards had little education at all, I, however, studied at Oxenfurt.”

“Did you like it?”

“Sometimes. It was school, and some parts were dull but I learned much.”

“I heard some of the maids giggling once about a young scholar who’d come to stay with us,” Ciri said, matter of factly. “He was always in the library and was kind of snooty with me when I asked questions, but the maids were saying he certainly had a lot of ‘carnal knowledge’. Did you study that too?”

Jaskier was choking on thin air.

“I, um, no it was more of a hobby,” Jaskier said before his head could catch up with his mouth. “Little Highness, I suspect you weren’t supposed to hear that conversation, and no, I studied the seven liberal arts.”

“So it was about sex, I was never sure,” Ciri said.

Jaskier coughed awkwardly. “Yes, princess.”

“It’s okay, I know about that stuff, Grandmother explained it.”

Jaskier let out a breath, at least he wouldn’t have to be the one to explain anything to her.

“When you went to school were you scared to leave your family?” Ciri asked.

“No, pet, I was excited to go,” he wasn’t about to get into all his trauma with her, she had enough of her own, poor thing. “I couldn’t wait to learn about music and poetry.”

“Grandmother said all poets were silly romantics and dreamers, but I think that sounds nice. Do you have a moose?”

“A what?”

“I read it in a book, a moose, somebody you love and you write about it.”

“Oh, that’s one of the trickier words Ciri, it’s said ‘muse’, and yes, I had one or two.”

“Only one or two? In the book the poet had hundreds,” Ciri sounded almost disappointed.

“I only ever needed one,” Jaskier said quietly. “One that mattered anyway.”

“And your Countess still left you,” Geralt said, rather coldly. He was doing his annoyed face and Jaskier could have kicked himself. He’d been talking too much. The reminder that the Countess de Stael had left him too hurt, but Jaskier wasn’t going to risk Geralt’s ire to say that she wasn’t the muse he was talking about. That was maybe something he should keep to himself.

“Do muses often leave?” Ciri asked, wide eyed. “If somebody was writing me poetry I wouldn’t want to.”

“No, usually the poet does the leaving,” Jaskier said. “After his muse asks him to go. There’s a shelf life on a bard, you know. We only have so many stories and songs before we’re used up and no one wants us around anymore. That’s when we move along.”

“I’ll hear your stories again and again,” Ciri said. “I won’t ask you to go.”

Jaskier’s heart curled up and whimpered inside his chest. He’d have to go sooner or later, he’d have to leave her. Geralt would get sick of him, too sick to bear even for Ciri’s sake. Or Jaskier would just have to leave of his own volition, lest he shovel shit into her life too.

If he could give her life one blessing...

“This’ll do for a campsite,” Geralt said. It was a tiny, clear area. Jaskier almost groaned. It was surrounded by oak trees, with dropped acorns that would dig into his bedroll and mottle his back with bruises come morning. He’d had a good rest in town, though, so another bad night of sleep wouldn’t be too bad, he told himself.

The others had eaten in town. Jaskier said he had too, so he wouldn’t waste rations. He had plenty, but strangely, he wasn’t so hungry lately. Anyway, always best to save.

He pulled off his boots and his freshly bloodied socks. Ew. Ciri retired to the magic tent early, exhausted from their long days of walking. Jaskier listened to Yennefer and Geralt talk.

“We’ll need lots of supplies in Ard Carraigh,” Geralt was saying.

“We don’t have any money,” Yennefer replied.

Jaskier had his back to them as he cleaned the wounds on his feet, but he could picture grave expressions.

“We’ll get some, I’ll do a quick contract there, something. We’ll need a cart and pony to get Ciri up The Killer, it’s too much for her, it’s too hard for some witchers even.”

“That’ll cost,” Yennefer said. “But you’re right. I wish I could portal us but--”

“Tracking, exactly. There’s always plenty of contracts in cities, it’ll be fine.”

Jaskier looked at the blisters on his foot, they’d opened more with his long performance that day. It was no matter, he wound the bandages around them and put on his new, thick socks. At least his feet would be warm.

Not too warm, though. He spotted a hole in the bottom of his boot that he hadn’t noticed before.

And they needed lots of money for Ard Carraigh. No matter. He knew how to get some.

He pretended his eyes filled with tears from the pain of blisters, not from heartache, as he pushed his feet back into his boots and opened the lute case. He pulled out his beautiful girl. He wouldn’t play her, it would annoy Geralt. He’d always hated Jaskier’s music, although he hated to hear Jaskier sing even more.

Pie with no filling.

Jaskier wished he could play her, though. It was going to break his heart to part with her, and he didn’t think he’d ever played another instrument as fine. If he could, he’d play her every second until he had to sell her.

Probably for the best, though, if he was going to fake his death. She was distinctive.

He brushed a hand over the beautiful wood work on her front. There was a little bit of linseed oil left, and he poured it on the rag he kept in the case and began to work over his girl lovingly. His eyes teared up again, but he fought it back. He would have smashed his lute if it meant helping Ciri. And Geralt.

Jaskier longed for Geralt to forgive him, to take him back and let him stay by his side, but he’d meant what he’d said, bards have a shelf life, and Jaskier’s time was up.

He wished Geralt would at least speak with him, though. His heart was aching. In a completely different sense, so was his chest.

“Play us a tune, bard,” Yennefer said.

Jaskier turned around. Yen and Geralt were sitting beside eachother, close together. She looked so beautiful in her fine cloak that Jaskier wondered how he ever thought he could catch Geralt’s eye when beings like her existed.

“You know,” he said. “It’s late and I wouldn’t want to bother Ciri.”

“Tent’s soundproof,” Yennefer said, waving her hand.

“I mean, really,” Jaskier protested weakly. Disobeying Yennefer’s request/command was like bathing your brain in lava, but Geralt was looking angry again. Some would say there wasn’t much change from Geralt’s normal expression, but Jaskier knew his face better than he knew his own. Something had made Geralt angry or upset. The only possible answer was Jaskier. It was always Jaskier.

“Play us a song, bard,” Yennefer said. “You’ve been so quiet other than stories, I’d almost think you were a doppler, Melitele knows no one could have taught you to shut up.”

Jaskier swallowed the lump in his throat.

He began, slowly, to pick out a gently tune on his lute. It was a song about winter and home, and he knew the lyrics well. Yennefer had only asked him to play, so he would. His music was at least less offensive than his voice.

He reveled in the feel of his lute beneath his fingers, letting the feeling wash over him, committing it to memory.

When he was finished Yennefer said, “I suppose your voice was tired from your performance, I heard in the town how the bard had played such a long set.”

Jaskier smiled grimly back at her. “Just earning my keep.”

He went to bed, feeling the cold seep into his bones.

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Tag List!

@frywen-babbles @mordoriscalling @thedarkestangel1 @kerfufflezz @live-long-and-trek-on @holymotherwolf @gryffinqueen

@samukai @charlies-dragon I can’t seem to tag, but they’re on the list

#geraksier #adhd Jaskier #the witcher #angst #jaskier #geralt #yennefer #ciri #platonic yennalt #yennefer is a good mom #and deserves nice things #kaer morhen #soon but not yet #emotional hurt/comfort #just hurt now #the comfort is yet to come

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raindrops-and-tubestops · 3 years

Note

Angst: 2

Linumi:)

I see you like this pairing Nonie! That’s fine, it’s kind of fun to write something different! Enjoy! 💜

——————————————————————————-

The air was still, for once the sounds of her city were absent, it seemed she was the only one who couldn’t sleep. Sealed in her own bubble, the metalbender wa slots in thought. The glow from the spirit portal casting an eery glow across the tops of the buildings. From her apartment she could see the waves rolling gently in the bay, the salt and chill from the water sweeping through the city.

A painful sigh escaped her lips. This wasn’t how she had pictured her night. She flexed her feet slightly, readjusting them where they were propped on the railing of her balcony. The pull from her muscles reminding her of just how long she had been in the position. The tumbler in her other hand, now devoid of ice, confirmed the length of time. She set it on the arm of her chair.

She sighed again, her hand that was unoccupied sweeping across her forehead, trying to massage the tension away. She was supposed to be enjoying a quiet night in…a simple dinner followed by a nightcap, one last chance at spending quality time with him before he left.

In the morning he’d be traveling with his brother, visiting the other air temples, making the rounds and noting what needed to be done. It had been a hectic yeah and Tenzin was eager to make sure that nothing had come to pass at the other sites in his absence. Bumi, of course, had volunteered to go with his little brother…in fact she was certain they were picking Kya up on the way back.

He was going to be gone for at least a month. Communication wouldn’t be difficult, but only being able to send letters ahead to certain temples in hopes that he would receive them wasn’t the same as hearing his voice. Seeing his smile when she rolled over in bed every morning. Tonight had been her last chance.

Lin bit her lip, punishing the delicate skin, almost to the point of drawing blood. She could feel the tears beginning to pool behind her eyes; she would not cry.

The morning had been like any other, except that she wasn’t needed at work and would be spending the day lazing around her apartment. She rose before Bumi, starting breakfast and their coffee, knowing that after he would head to the island to be pack. The plan was for him to return later that evening and for them to relax; packing ahead of time ensured they would have additional time together.

Lin was standing at the sink, humming to the radio and washing the dishes, when she felt his presence behind her. She turned her head, glancing over her shoulder to see Bumi leant against her counter, a look of contemplation on his face. He seemed to be looking through her, his eyes unseeing.

She turned off the faucet with a flick of her wrist and moved so that she was facing him, drying her hands with a dish towel.

She eyed him warily, ‘What’s the matter?’

He hummed noncommittally, shrugging his shoulders. Lin could tell he was trying to act nonchalant, but there was clearly something on his mind. She knew him well enough to know that much.

Green eyes locked with grey, seeing the apprehension clearly on display.

‘I’m going to ask you something,’ he started hesitantly, ‘ and I would like you to let me finish before you answer or interrupt.’

Lin was on instant alert…those words, in that combination, had never boded well for her. She nodded anyway, regardless of the reluctant feeling in her stomach.

Bumi inhaled slowly, ‘I want to tell Tenzin about us.’

Her eyes widened in surprise. That was the last thing she’d expected to fall from his lips.

‘I can’t travel with him for a month, maybe more, with a good conscience, and not tell him.’

‘It’s none of his business,’ Lin insisted.

Bumi crossed his arms over his chest, ‘I’m aware of that Lin, but he’s my brother.’

He looked at his feet for a few moments before continuing, ‘We’ve been working on reconnecting…all of us, and I want to be completely transparent with him.’

She realized he had a point, but she wasn’t ready to concede the fact.

He sighed again, smiling softly and looked her directly in the eyes, it was as if he knew her thoughts.

‘But that’s only if you’re completely comfortable with the decision.’

Lin tilted her head in contemplation. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of Bumi…he was probably the most stable relationship she’d had since Tenzin. She wasn’t afraid of what others would think, but she was afraid of hurting Tenzin. She was afraid of losing her privacy. She was afraid of taking a step that she wasn’t ready for.

‘Bumi, we agreed to keep this quiet,’ she began.

‘I know,’ he interrupted, face falling slightly, ‘sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off.’

He swept his hand between them, gesturing for her to continue.

She scratched the back of her neck, trying to decide how to voice what she was thinking. Telling people about their relationship terrified her…the last time she had a public relationship, it had ended badly, she had been the topic of the gossip columns for weeks. She wasn’t a fool, she knew that it was part of the territory, being a child of a war hero and dating the child of the previous Avatar as well as a Master Healer (read THE Master Healer).

As if sensing her inner debate, Bumi whispered, ‘It’s only Tenzin.’

‘Tenzin will turn into Kya, and then your mother, and then my sister, and then Korra and her friends and…’ Lin’s thoughts were spiraling.

Their family would be happy…intellectually she knew that, but she still couldn’t bring herself to agree. She looked at him with what she hoped was an apologetic expression…she hoped he understood her reluctance.

He blew out breath as he reached forward, enfolding her stiff body into his arms. He nuzzled her temple, inhaling the soft floral scent with hints of metal.

‘It’s ok,’ he mumbled, ‘forget I brought it up.’

His words were meant to reassure her, but she couldn’t help feel guilty. She knew she didn’t give him the answer he’d been hoping for and squeezed him tighter in response.

Not long after this discussion, Bumi let her know that it was probably better if he returned to the island for the night. Tenzin still had a few final course corrections he wanted to discuss with his brother. She looked at him with a question in her eyes, one he couldn’t answer. She nodded dazedly, no quite sure how to respond.

She walked him to the door,she quickly glanced around, making sure that he hadn’t left anything he might need. She rubbed her arm awkwardly as she couldn’t meet his eyes. She knew he was frustrated but didn’t want to pressure her, he would wait until she was ready, if she ever was.

He sighed, almost sounding defeated, pulling her gently closer and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. He then turned to open the door, looking over his shoulder.

‘I’ll send a letter as soon as we land, we should be stationary at the temple for at least a week.’

Again Lin nodded, glancing up slightly, a hand massaging her upper arm. He smiled slightly and slipped through the doorway, the click of the lock deafening in her now empty apartment.

The tears were flowing freely now, she couldn’t stop them even if she tried. Why hadn’t she just agreed? Now thinking back, it had seemed so selfish, he didn’t deserve that. Their relationship was about give and take, and it seemed she’d been doing a lot of the taking so far.

She knew he understood, he knew her insecurities and her past hurts and how they affected her interactions with people. They had talked long and hard about communication before even venturing into this territory, admittedly unfamiliar for both of them. They wanted this to work…they loved each other. They had never said it out loud, but it was implicitly implied, they knew.

He made her feel safe and understood unlike anyone else. If anyone could comprehend the pressure of being the child of a war hero that didn’t seem to measure up to their famous parent, it was Bumi.

Lin could feel her nose starting to run and her eyes growing puffy. She hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Probably since she’d lost her bending…maybe even before that if she was being honest. After Tenzin had broken up with her? When she thought her mom would show and didn’t?

She rubbed her hands over her face roughly, frustrated with the loss of control of her emotions. She drew her knees up on to the patio chair, hugging them to her chest, as she laid her head on them. Her body shuddered with soft sobs, she couldn’t have stopped them if she tried.

‘Please don’t cry.’

His quiet voice startled her. She snapped her head up quickly, almost knocking the glass off its perch on the arm of her chair. She carefully unfolded her legs, her feet connecting with the floor, she could feel his heartbeat now. It was as erratic, matching hers in its rhythm.

His eyes smiled even if his mouth didn’t, she could feel the warmth enveloping her. Everything would be ok, it would work itself out, he came back. That had to mean something right?

She rushed to him and collided with his chest, a soft oof coming from his lips as he caught her easily. The sobs that were quiet earlier, the ones she was trying to contain, fell from her lips uninhibited. The more relieved she became, the louder the sounds from her mouth were, rising in pitch and frequency.

Bumi rubbed her back, quietly yet steady, until the sobs subsided in small whimpers. He had never heard these particular sounds from the metalbender in his arms. It was humbling to hear witness to such vulnerability.

‘I’m sorry,’ she hicupped into his chest, ‘I was selfish earlier…I should have at least discussed it with you.’

‘Shhhhh,’ he intoned gently, trying to calm Lin, ‘we don’t have to talk about it no, it’s ok.’

‘But it’s not!’ She insisted, ‘it’s not ok.’

She shook her head, unfolding herself from his arms, putting the needed distance between them, she needed to clear headed…and he was distracting. She wiped the tears and snot on the sleeve of her sweater, she could be disgusted about it later.

‘You can tell him,’ she whispered, ‘we can tell everyone, if that’s what you want.’

She paused, looking to his wide grey eyes and the beginnings of a smile stretching across his face. The hair on his head even more disheveled than normal, his crooked grin so reminiscent of his father, it made her smile in turn. Her eyes watered as she contemplated her next words

‘I love you,’ she her words soft and lilting, ‘so much.’

prompts 💜

#keep those prompts coming anon!#lin beifong #bumi ii #tlok bumi #linumi #avatar the legend of korra #the legend of korra #fanfic prompts #asks #my fanfic

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writing-is-my-guilty-pleasure · 4 years

Text

Meeting and falling in love with Asra, Julian and Nadia || Slight Modern! AU

A/N: I could do a part two with Portia, Lucio and Muriel - if anyone wants a part two let me know! Or I’ll probably do a second part anyway

Part 2!

The Arcana Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Asra:

You work in Asra’s shop - but since there’s no magic it now contains various plants, incense, stones/rocks, and trinkets

Like a fortune teller’s shop but without the fortune telling part

You’ve known Asra for as long as you can remember - which isn’t very long as your memory only goes back about three years

You were in a car accident years ago, which damaged your memory pretty badly

Asra has been looking after you ever since, and you’re more than happy to work in his shop

He does sometimes have to go on long trips to get new stock or find new materials, which is when he really leaves you in charge of the shop

Every time Asra leaves you alone in the shop, you feel your heart ache more and more - even the plants seem to sense your sadness

You love watching Asra interact with Faust - his massive python that adores nearly everyone that they come across, but nobody as much as Asra

Eventually, it’s the little things that make your insides turn to jelly whenever you look at Asra

The routine he goes through everytime he makes you both cups of tea, and the fact that he knows what tea is your favourite, and what to put and what not to put in it

The way his hands slide over your waist to land on your back when he hugs you

The way his face seems to light up whenever you enter the room

One day it all comes flooding out - Asra comes back from a long trip, looking absolutely exhausted, but you don’t miss the way his eyes sparkle when they land on you

He walks in and you take one good look at the state he’s in

‘I’m so in love with you.’

And his face splits into the biggest grin, and the two of you just stand there, grinning at each other until Asra decides that he really should just come inside and kiss you

Julian

You meet Julian in your shop one night - he’d been ‘browsing’ (he was really looking for Asra but he was away at the time) and lost track of time so he stayed past closing time

He scared the shit out of you, emerging from behind some shelves - you almost punched him in the face, thinking he was an intruder

Ever since then you seemed to bump into each other wherever you went

Out in town, in restaurants and pubs - hell, you even somehow managed to befriend his younger sister without knowing they were related, and boy that was an awkward realisation when the three of you met

Eventually, you cornered him when you saw him in the street outside your shop, and practically pulled him inside

Once you got to know each other, the more you realised how much you had in common, and how nice he was

Although insecure, Julian was great at breaking the ice between you

That was one of the many things you found attractive about him, you eventually come to realise

As the two of you started to get closer, you noticed Julian seemed to simultaneously be distancing himself

Whenever something serious happened, he’d backtrack immediately, flushing violently

oH Lord this boy blushes so much

One of your favourite things about him is how easy it is to make Julian a blushing mess

His whole ‘pushing you away’ act was driving you insane - it really seemed like he was beginning to avoid you entirely

The next time you saw him you confronted him about it, and he tried to tell you that it was for your own good, and that you can find someone better to be with

‘Why would I ever want someone better than you??’

‘Because I’m a mess, an unstable and unworthy mess-’

You cut him off by kissing him

‘I love you, you idiot. Mess or not, I never want to be without you.

Nadia

You meet her in your store one evening, an hour or so before closing time

You had to do a double take - you couldn’t believe that someone of Nadia’s status would be in your shop

You were flustered throughout your entire interaction, eyes darting around the shop, suddenly seeing how messy your shop appeared

The two of you talked for hours - she invited you over to her (extremely large) house the next day for dinner. And her recently deceased husband owned a lot of very questionable items and she wanted a second opinion on whether or not she should throw them out

Good Lord her house is beautiful

At first you were intimidated and anxious to call her a friend - she was a much higher status than you and you sometimes still felt beneath her

Eventually the fortnightly dinners became weekly, and then sometimes two or three times a week

The more time you spent with her, the more you came to be enchanted by her personality, and not her fame and riches

Whenever Asra was around to work at the shop, you could be found at Nadia’s, having dinner or just spending time with her

If she needed an escape from her world, you were more than happy to give her a tour of the town

It wasn’t until you met her sisters that you realised you felt different around Nadia than you did other friends

Her sisters obviously thought the two of you were an item - and were slightly surprised when the two of you immediately denied it

But after that you couldn’t stop thinking about your feelings towards Nadia - it bothered you so much you had to talk to her about it

‘Nadia, there’s something I-’

‘I think I’m in love with you.’

You gaped at her in disbelief and in slight relief that you didn’t have to confess to her

She smiled shyly at you, and you grinned back, hugging her tightly, and you felt her arms wrap gently around your waist.

#the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana game #the arcana imagines #nadia satrinava #nadia x reader #julian devorak #julian devorak x reader #asra x reader #asra #asra alnazar #the arcana x reader

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moonlit-mizukage · 3 years

Text

Chapter thirteen: Why put in so much effort?

Word Count: 1.2K

TW Swearing, angst, characters acting different, comparison of words to Vomit

Summary: U.A.’s third year student y/l/n Y/n, has had a crush for a long time on Todoroki Shouto. One day she decides to write an anonymous love letter, sticks it under his door. She confessed her love and asked him to meet under the Cherry tree Saturday at 4pm. She prepared with her friends for this moment, but what happens when someone else takes credit for the letter? (All characters aged up to third year!)

Taglist open!! Send an ask or do to be added!!

An: This chapter do be an angsty one !!!

Kirishima POV

On my way down to her room, I had thought about yesterday, and if it was really a good idea to bring this up today. As I reached up to knock on her door, she swung it open and instantly threw her arms around me.

“I’ve missed hanging out with you alone.”

“I’ve missed it too y/n.” I said hugging back with one arm.. We walked inside sitting down at the small table she had while I passed over her food.

“I can’t believe you made my favorite. What’s the special occasion?”

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about, but after you eat.” She locked eyes with me, but you could see the worry written on her face. “Don’t worry it’s nothing bad.” I hoped she wouldn't take it badly anyways.

While we ate I made small talk with her to lighten the mood a bit, more of a distraction for me. I kept thinking I shouldn’t be here. It's not fair that I am surprising her with this with what she's been going through.

“So do you think you will be able to gather enough evidence to show Todoroki that it really was you this whole time?”

“I think so, well I hope so.” She said, wiping her face off. She looked down at her hands and began fiddling with her thumbs.

“Why put in so much effort? He was easily fooled into believing it was someone else with out any proof.”

“Well why do we do the things we do for the ones we love?” She looked up again meeting my eyes.

“I guess that makes sense.” I was beginning to be a little more nervous about what I have been wanting to tell her.

“I did pour my whole heart into that letter. I mean, with your help of course, but I just feel really connected with him.”

“You never really talked to him though?”

“It’s just the way I felt when we did. I don't know exactly how to explain it.” She said standing up.

“Let’s sit on my bed and talk.” I followed behind her as we sat down. “It may sound dumb to you, but you will understand when you fall in love too.”

“I get that you have liked him since first year, but how do you know it's really love?”

“You just know,” She raised her hand and pointed to my chest. “You feel it here Kiri.”

“Ah, I see..” I looked away from her quickly looking towards the picture of us and our friends on her bedside table.

“So, hypothetically speaking uhhhhhh,” I took a deep breath, why am I so nervous?

“What do you mean hypothetically speaking?”

“Just ummm… hypothetically if say, someone you are friends with liked you…..what would you do?” I noticed her perk up, showing me I had her full attention now.

“Well depending on the person, I would react differently.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well depending on who it is, I would decline based on how I know their personalities would react or take the rejection.”

“So hypothetically, if I was to ask you out, how would you reject me?”

“Kiri! You’re my best friend as if you would ask me out!” I just smiled at her awkwardly,

“Well it’s hypothetical silly! I just wanted to see since you sound like some sort of master of saving feelings.” She went silent for a moment.

“So who is it?”

“What?” My eyes grew bigger as I began to feel my heart race. “No one at all hahaha….”

“Kiri… I know you better then that. First you used “hypothetically” and now you're just saying “hahaha”, that to me is suspicious.”

“Uhhhhh, I gotta go, sorry y/n!! See you later.” Before she could say anything to me I rushed out of the room and off to the stairs just running up to my room. My phone started blowing up with messages from y/n already.

Falling back down on my bed, I let out a deep sigh. I realized now I never asked her about Midoriya. Just when I was about to close my eyes and hopefully fall asleep for the night, a knock and voice could be heard from the opposite side of my door.

“Kiri, I know you are in here, please let me talk to you. I’m sorry about upstairs, we can just be bros and pretend it didn’t happen, but I still want to hang out with my best friend. I miss hanging out with you.” I wasn’t sure if some kind of demon possessed me or what really happened, but I ripped open my door, facing her sad eyes. I felt angry.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer hanging out with Deku?” I said, anger dripping from my words.

“Where is this coming from? Did you have a personality change on your way up here?” She asked, surprised.

“No, I am just kinda tired of how you constantly hang out with deku, if i even get invited, it's even after him? Are you in love with him too or something? Why am I always your second choice now?”

“What the actual fuck kirishima.”

“I’m not sure, you tell me. We have been best friends for years, all of a sudden Deku swoops you away!! I just don’t get it. When did I become not enough for you?”

“You're acting like we were in a romantic relationship! You need to calm down.” Her voice had started to raise.

“Is that really all you have to say?”

“I missed one hang out, like what the fuck?” You could see eyes become more glossy.

“That's not the point. You know what? Forget it. I’m tired. So just leave.” I didn’t want this to continue anymore, hell I didn’t even know where all this rage jealousy had come from to begin with.

“You may be my best friend but he is the only one who gets what I have been feeling. Being in love for over 2 years then seeing them together does something to you. Something he understands, something I wouldn’t want you to understand cause it hurts.” I couldn't control what I said next, like word vomit, it just came spewing out.

“You must be living in some kind of fantasy world, cause in this world, Todoroki doesn't even know you exist. It's truly pathetic watching you day after day chasing someone like that, when one of your close friends is madly in love with you!!” At this point tears had started free falling from her eyes.

“Out of all the people in the world who could hold such harsh words in their hearts, my last guess would have been you Kirishima. Just do me a favor and don’t contact me for a while.” With that she left. She left me standing in my door, watching her leave. Watching her slowly lose it more and more with each step she took. I knew it was bad. I knew I shouldn’t have said these things. The reason I did? Jealousy. I felt jealous of Midoriya, I felt jealous how she responded even to Bakugou the day she saw Ochaco with Todoroki. Most of all, I was jealous of Todoroki.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Previous | Masterlist | Next

AN: Plot twist coming up got me mad excited to write it. I hope everyone is still enjoying the story line. I hope it doesn’t seem like I strayed too much from the summary plot line. This has been mapped in my head for a while, so hopefully people are still enjoying it!! Feel free to send asks, dms, or even leave comments with reactions to the story! As a writer it means alot to see these as it gives me joy to see reactions or positive responses!! Don’t feel pressure to do it though!!

Taglist: @videogameboiwhowins @too-many-fandoms666 @angelofdarkness1020 @bakuinred @yoonbbyboy @iamagalaxy @softesyoongi @tsumuuumiyaaaa @kyomihann @iwavibes @thatweirdfox22 @missmultifangirl @lilithknight1111 @letmebreathepls @ohmygodronnie2020 @noahmanz @smolbbygorl @mikeys-thighs

#bnha smau #bnha x reader #mha smau #mha x reader #todoroki smau #todoroki shoto x reader

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pvremichigan · 3 years

Text

“Yeah... Yeah no, I understand...”

‘I’m sorry, ma’am, this is all we can offer. If we do not receive payment, your home will have to be foreclosed.’

The sounds of loud horns and engines echoed the city streets...

‘You have three years. That is more than enough time. It’s all I can legally give. Even then, I’m jumping through many loops to help you. My job is on the line, you cannot let me down.’

The noises seem to get louder the worse the stress gets.

“Yeah... Got it. Thank you, I’ll... See what I can do.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I’ve got an interview offer in New York.”

The other two in the room seemed nervous about the news. The taller girl approached the woman talking, holding her by the hand.

“Well... That’s amazing news. I say take it! We don’t get opportunities like this often!”

“I know, Pen, but what about-”

The taller girl gave a very gentle smile. There was fear behind her expression, but she tried to show excitement the best she could.

“I’ll take care of David. I can handle it. This is too big to pass up. We’ll be fine.”

The initial redhead shifted her weight anxiously, looking down with tired eyes. The bags under her eyes seemed heavy with stress and defeat.

“... First paycheck I get, I’m sending it to you two. Don’t let him touch it, it is for you to handle only. If I don’t get the job, I am coming straight home. Alright?”

The boy on the couch didn’t seem to listen. He looked angry, tense. As soon as the taller one nodded, the boy stood up and whipped the ash tray that was on the coffee table straight into the wall. After leaving a hole among the several other patched up holes on the wall, he stormed off upstairs. It was obvious he was getting out again, since the sound of the window slammed open. Albeit muffled, it seemed to cause the taller one to flinch.

“You take care of him, Penny. Don’t let him push you around. Please? I’ll be back soon... I promise.”

Penny teared up, everything becoming quite overwhelming. She brought the redhead into a hug, wishing her silent luck on her journey.

The phone rang.

Reaching into her small bag, the redhead grabbed the phone in a hurry and took a look at the number. Cursing to herself, she answered it with haste.

“Hello?” ‘Yes is this Ms... McIntyre?’ “Speaking.” ‘Hello, yes I’m calling just to give you a reminder about your interview today at 2:30? I hope your travels were safe, how are you handling the city so far?’ “Yes, I am on my way. It’s uh... Not a lie when they call it The City That Never Sleeps. A big change from home but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” ‘Good, I’m very glad to hear. So we will be seeing you at 2:30?’ “Yes, ma’am.” ‘Perfect, talk to you soon.’ “Yes, thank you so much. See you soon.”

After hanging up, ‘McIntyre’ took a quick glance at the time. 1:40. It was a long walk from the motel but she was almost there. 50 minutes. She had dressed properly, albeit uncomfortable in the outfit. Heels were NOT her thing and neither were skirts. Not to mention the damn makeup and the fucking bun she put her hair in. This was professional but it was honestly it was pretty embarrassing. This is not how she wants to be seen by people. No time to waste though, no time to overthink. This is for the job, nothing more.

The building had just been up ahead. All she had to do was make her way through the parking garage and head to the elevator. Easy enough. Stepping into the garage, the place grew darker. It was quite a change from being in the sun this whole time, her eyes took a moment to adjust. Within that moment, it seems she attracted some trouble.

The sound of a gun being clicked and pressed against her head had caused her to freeze. Gruff chuckles accompanied the clicks of the gun.

‘Looks like you’re goin’ somewhere. Ya look busy, so let’s make this quick. We were gonna jump ya but we decided we’d give a pretty lady like you a chance.’

One of the other men stood way too close to her, it really felt like he was sniffing her here and there. A grimace grew on her face. That same man trailed his hand down her arm, gripping her other shoulder to keep her still.

‘Grab the bag.’

The man touching her arm huffed, eyeing her with ill intent as he snatched the bag off her arm. She quickly bent her arm upwards to stop him from being able to rip it away from her.

The gunman growled in frustration, hitting her upside the head with the gun, causing her to hiss in pain and fall straight to the ground. The men had started to laugh at the fall, stepping on her bag. Oh no...

The skirt was getting dirty...

Oh she had enough.

They were too dumb to realize they should’ve stepped on her hand instead.

Lunging her hand into her bag, she was able to yank out her metal nunchucks and roll away enough to be able to stand back up. The gunman grew furious and agitated, taking aim as he had decided he had enough of this. He gave her a chance and she blew it. Nah, she wasn’t going to return the favor - she wasn’t giving them any chances.

She had also grown furious, smacking the nunchucks at his knuckles as soon as he took aim. The impact had caused the him to flinch and pull the trigger... The echo of the bang loudly bounced off the walls of the garage. Seems his aim was unlucky, as the man stepping on the bag had gotten badly grazed by the bullet. The bagman shouted out, clutching his knee where he had gotten injured. The imbalance caused him to fall over, freeing the bag from underneath his show. After the gunman had shot the gun off, she whipped her arm around to bash him in the head, using the momentum to get the neck. With another swing continuing the movement, she aimed for the gut. The man lunged over in pain, giving McIntyre the perfect opportunity to grab his head and bash it right against her knee. One down, the other to go. Playing it safe, she knew she didn’t want to get too dirty. With a simple but harsh kick to the back of his head, both men were knocked out officially. The woman was able to take a breather, leaning against the wall as she panted in exhaustion. Most of it was due to her racing heart, adrenaline dying out slowly as she calmed herself. Looking down, she scowled at the end product. Dirt on her skirt, blood on her hands and head... Knees... Shoes.

God she really hopes nobody fucking saw that. Most people in the city don’t care anyways, but this was just not her lucky day. She PRAYS nobody saw that, distracting herself as she begins dusting off her skirt and legs, picking her bag back up and tucking the nunchucks back inside. She didn’t look that strong, being a bit skinnier than she acted, but from experience, it’s all about technique. Still...

“What a sloppy fight... You assholes are ruining this one chance. I have an interview to get to...”

Her low mutters echoed in the vicinity, frustration in her sigh.

Why can’t she just be left alone...

@yesfxckyxu

#[[Pull the Trigger]];; ic #[[My Name is Mich.]];; Human V

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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 years

Text

The Great Madripoorian Snake Off - ch. 2

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes Rating: E Chapter count: 2/2

Read ch. 1 on Tumblr.

Chapter two summary: Sam and Bucky get tossed out of Selby’s bar and it’s the perfect (more or less) opportunity to discuss their kiss.

Sam sincerely believed that, between the three of them (including Zemo with his pompous swanning and Bucky with his identity a single glove away from being revealed), he wouldn’t be the one to mess this up. But there goes his phone, ringing away in his jacket pocket.

He reaches in and presses a thumb to the screen, swiping desperately as his heart rate climbs. Selby’s eyes on him are nasty things; she doesn’t rise from her seat and yet it feels like she’s bobbing and swaying, hypnotizing him how a snake would. The thought provokes a nauseated rumble from Sam’s stomach and maybe Selby hears that now that his phone is silent. Or maybe she doesn’t, what with the ominous sound of the handful of armed men in the room adjusting their grip on their guns.

“Answer it,” she orders.

Sam extracts the phone from his pocket and holds it up to show that the call’s already been declined.

“Well,” Selby says, unswerving gaze on his face, “call back.”

“I don’t think I better…” Sam hedges nervously.

“Listen to me, Smiling Tiger. I don’t trust you and my tolerance of your presence is really beginning to wear thin.”

“I know what you mean,” Bucky mutters, standing next to Sam.

“What was that?” Selby asks.

“I said, uh, don’t be mean. To him.” After an awkward pause, Bucky lifts an arm (thankfully not the Vibranium one, though based on how badly this encounter is going, Sam wouldn’t have been surprised) and wraps it stiffly around Sam’s shoulders. “My husband.”

What Sam would like to do is call Bucky an idiot, but what he does is lean slightly into Bucky’s hold. On the inside, he’s cursing Bucky to Steve’s rumoured moon base and back. This is how you do it, he thinks. This is how you exorcise your feelings about what a bonehead your associate is without running your mouth in front of the person clearly itching to shoot you.

“Call back on speakerphone,” Selby instructs, ignoring Bucky because she doesn’t seem to consider his fumbled response worth addressing. “Now.”

Sam redials Sarah. He better not be sweating. He can just fucking imagine a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead while he’s bent over his phone, visibly splashing the surface. Bucky’s shared anxiety is obvious in the way he hugs Sam more securely to his side. Not really a hug though. Feels more like Bucky preparing to yank them both to the floor when this terrible cover story goes to hell and the bullets start to fly.

By what honestly feels like a miracle, Sarah does the thing she always does, which usually irritates Sam, but today he loves her for it. She ignores his call. They’ve been doing this forever. It’s a subtle sibling fuck you to the other person whenever one of them returns a call only a minute or two after being called. It says, Oh, so you were close enough to your phone to call me back fast, but couldn’t bother answering it when my name popped up? Knowing Sarah, she’ll be standing in the same spot she was when he dismissed her call, staring down at his name on her screen, with that damn expression of sisterly superiority.

To Selby, Sam shrugs and pockets his phone when Sarah fails to pick up.

“I really have had enough of you. You too,” Selby says, looking pointedly at the pain in the ass who has his arm draped around Sam. “Get out of my sight while I have a discussion with Baron Zemo. In fact, get out of my bar. Someone’ll show you the way.”

“Easy,” Sam says in a low voice when a member of Selby’s security team puts a hand on his shoulder to hustle him towards the back exit. The guy does it to Bucky too, but Bucky says nothing. Sure. Being manhandled by an employee he could easily drop? Silence. Hearing a comment made by the boss and not even directed at him? The perfect opportunity to insult Sam. Bucky’s such a dick.

“Yeah, we got it,” Bucky finally says after Selby’s guy has the door to the alley propped open, prepared to shove them through it.

The guy backs off, but Sam and Bucky still step outside quickly to avoid the closing door.

Sam glances up and down the alleyway, then up the grimy walls. No sign of cameras and only one end of the alley is open to the street a dozen yards away. The other dead-ends at a hulking dumpster. With this very un-luxurious, private place to talk won at the cost of them pissing off an extremely dangerous player in a game to which Sam is still fumbling to open the rulebook, Sam rounds on Bucky. He jabs a finger towards his chest without actually touching him because he doesn’t actually want Bucky to feel threatened. Also, the last touch he instigated between them was firm contact between his palm and Bucky’s ass. So. He doesn’t really know what to do about that, or his hands, or Bucky standing before him in what’s seriously too narrow of an alley. Who designed this place?

“You can’t act like that,” Sam says. “Are you trying to get us killed? This is a mission.”

“You think I forgot? I’m not confused, Sam,” Bucky contends with a frown. “I know I didn’t accidentally go on vacation to fucking Madripoor, ok?”

“Well, then you better prove it by watching your mouth.”

“I was thinking about your mouth!”

The words erupt from Bucky and Sam nearly backs into a wall in surprise. He only stops himself because he remembers the expensive suit and that keeping up appearances is the best they can do at this point, since their acting as soon as they speak is a disaster.

“Now?” Sam asks when annoyance overtakes shock. “When I said we’d talk about it later, I was thinking hours, maybe days. Not while we were still on the premises!”

He motions at the wall, but Bucky cocks his head, looking unconcerned.

“We’re beside the premises, if you wanna be technical about it.”

“I don’t.”

“Too bad. Say what you wanna say,” Bucky encourages with a wave before planting both hands on his hips. “About us kissing.”

“I don’t have anything to say about that either.”

Despite the straight length of wall at his back, Sam’s feeling cornered. He wasn’t expecting Bucky to be the one willing to introduce a dialogue about this. He didn’t really think Bucky would have anything to say about the kiss period. But now the asshole has decided that the best way to spend their time exiled from Selby’s is to talk about their act of intimacy. With his face flooded by blue neon light and his stance sexy in how self-possessed it makes him look. They kissed and now Bucky Barnes—world champion of menacing, wordless staring—wants to talk.

The thing is that they kissed while Bucky was pretending to be his husband and Sam was forgetting to pretend anything. It felt too good. He’d wanted it too long. He wants it again, now, still, with Bucky against a backdrop of dirty bricks, dipped in light so blue it almost vibrates Sam’s eyes. Bucky looks like he’s trying to sell Sam designer cologne and Sam shouldn’t feel drawn in by this, but he wants to buy the danger this cologne model is selling. He wants to get a good grip on Bucky’s black jacket and hear him whisper “Madripoor Pour Homme” in his ear on a warm exhale.

“You gotta go first,” Bucky insists. “You’re the one who wanted to talk about it.”

“Because I thought you would want to explain yourself.”

“We’re supposed to be married, you looked like you were gonna upchuck looking at that snake, I ran interference in a way that seemed appropriate for our cover.”

Bucky’s method of laying it out so straightforwardly is absolutely infuriating.

“To stop me from throwing up,” Sam clarifies angrily.

“Yes.”

“If you were really worried about that, you wouldn’t have kissed me.”

“Why not?”

“’Cause you woulda been afraid that I’d throw up all over your face.”

“So what are you saying?” Bucky demands. “That I was hoping you’d throw up on my face?”

Sam laughs.

“God, I hope not. Just that your reasoning is bullshit and you must’ve kissed me for some other reason that you haven’t said.”

Bucky’s gaze flicks to the ground, then back up. His face is angled slightly differently and the blue light does his bone structure favours that it was already too beautiful to ever need to ask for.

“Like what?” he asks softly. And the noise of the people talking and shouting on the street at the end of the alleyway dims below the volume of Sam’s heart thudding in his ears.

Sam doesn’t get a chance to answer; the door they came through bangs open—a hollow clang as it hits the wall and the security guy sticks his head out to check on them, looking the wrong way first. Rougher than he was at the bar, Bucky grabs Sam’s face. Sam closes his eyes as Selby’s man glances towards them, cutting off sight to be hit all the harder by the urgent feeling of Bucky’s mouth moving against, then with, his own. It’s a mess because Bucky kisses like he’s being awarded on most vigorous performance, his tongue prodding eagerly between Sam’s lips in a motion more commonly seen in bullet extractions.

By the time he hears the door shut again—without the guy bothering to even try to interrupt (meaning Selby must not want them back in the negotiating room that badly)—Sam feels as if he’s had his mouth more thoroughly fucked in thirty seconds than the rest of him’s ever been.

Bucky’s even gotten him against the wall and Sam acts like he’s pissed about that, shooting Bucky a look as he gently pushes him back and brushes at the sleeve of his jacket. His first breath free of that kiss is a pant.

“Man, do you only know one way to solve a problem?”

Bucky looks back challengingly.

“I only need one way if it’s the best way.”

Sam attempts to ignore Bucky’s gaze dropping from his eyes to his lips as he says, “Based on what criteria?”

“Selby’s guy left us alone, didn’t he? That means Zemo’s in there flailing without us, without being able to… to rip the rug out from under me by telling her who I really am—”

“Were.”

“—or blowing your cover to see what kinda information she’d give up in exchange for an Avenger.”

“And kissing me was the best way to accomplish that.”

“Well… yeah,” Bucky decides. But his expression is squirrely, so Sam narrows his eyes at him.

“We coulda left the neighbourhood if you wanted to leave Zemo high and dry after flying all the way out here.”

“We still need him to help us get answers on that serum. If he didn’t think we were around, he’d go to ground. Wouldn’t be hard to find him again, just a waste of time.”

“You’re just… committed to our story then,” Sam tests.

“Yeah.”

“It’s not difficult for you.”

“Obviously,” Bucky agrees.

“Better or worse than having to take on everybody in that bar with your bare hands?” Sam asks. When Bucky just stares at him, he goes, “What? You know that’s what Zemo would’ve wanted from you if you’d consented to play the part of the Winter Soldier.”

Bucky exhales heavily and nods.

“Yeah, this is better.”

“Just the lack of violence or having to make out with me?” Sam pushes, grinning.

“I don’t have to.”

“Oh, so you want to then.”

Sam’s trying to be playful, finding loopholes in the slack rope of Bucky’s words, trying to make room for some humour, some levity, between these filthy walls and the beam of neon from above. There is something in Bucky’s eyes right then. Something understanding, something kind. Whatever it is, Bucky immediately shores it up with a metric tonne of intensity. His look now could pull Sam from a burning building while simultaneously being that burning building. It’s almost physically disorienting. The temperature rises inside Sam’s suit like the heat’s being trapped at every seam.

“So what if I do?” Bucky fires back.

“You don’t.”

Sam says it almost angrily, too warm and too confined in his Smiling Tiger disguise. At least the guy he’s impersonating isn’t into weighty coats with ostentatious fur collars like some barons Sam knows. Still, it’s too hot—the suit and Bucky’s stare.

“I don’t?” Bucky asks.

“I don’t think so,” Sam confirms, though he’s dizzy now. Needing to remove a layer of this suit, needing Bucky to step back to let him breathe.

“Why would you think that I wouldn’t want to make out with you?”

“Because you’re… you!”

“That explanation sucks.”

“Because,” Sam tries again. Bucky lifts his chin in a questioning gesture and Sam just wants to propel him back into the far wall and kiss his neck. “Because you’re an asshole.”

“Since when am I an asshole?”

“Birth, probably, but I wasn’t there when it happened three hundred years ago, so I can’t say for sure.”

“I was born last century, same as you, and you know that!”

“Can’t confirm it. Wasn’t part of the backstory.”

“Now who’s the asshole?” Bucky gripes. “You’re not supposed to know my fake birthday because you’re my fake husband, you’re supposed to know my real birthday because you’re my real friend.”

“I do know your real birthday,” Sam promises, taking a step closer regardless of the flush of heat he feels to be moving towards Bucky’s rigid posture and pinning stare.

“You my real friend?”

“Something like that.”

“Something like that,” Bucky repeats, quieter, barely looking away from Sam’s mouth now.

“We’re not telling the story out here,” Sam says. He glances up and down the alley again. “No witnesses.”

“Good. I don’t wanna pretend.”

Sam’s shoulders relax—not in relief but in disappointment—because that sounds like it’s the end of that. After all that talk, culminating in a short debate of which one of them’s an asshole: pretty much peak flirting, Sam would say, measured against their history of interactions. But then Bucky takes a step too soft for Sam to hear and hits him with a look too soft for Sam to misinterpret.

“Or we could say it was the snake drink’s fault if we want an excuse later on,” Sam offers.

Bucky quickly wets his lip with his tongue.

“We could.”

Sam’s hand goes to the buttons on his suit jacket. It’s a motion of self-consciousness, grasping the overlap of fabric between the buttons, but Bucky knocks his hand away with an easy backhand that skims over Sam’s fingers. Eyes locked on his, Bucky undoes the buttons while Sam’s arms hang tensely at his sides. Although the jacket wasn’t restricting his breathing, Sam inhales fast—a swimmer breaking the surface of a pool between strokes.

When he slowly guides Bucky in, hand on his hip, the open jacket doesn’t make a hell of a lot of difference in what’s separating them. That’s what Sam thinks. Bucky’s cyborg brain has evidently done some data-crunching and come up with a different assessment; there’s more than just the length of a knife in the front of Bucky’s pants now as he presses up against Sam.

“You undid one button,” Sam teases. “Is that indecent by forties’ standards? That why one button’s enough to get you going?”

“Let’s see how you feel about one button.”

Sam’s abs seize when Bucky’s hands go—abruptly and confidently—to his belt. He’s as efficient getting it open as Sam’s seen him when dismantling and reassembling an assault weapon or tugging the straps on a tac jacket to secure his knives. Following the jingling and the slap of leather, Bucky opens the button of Sam’s dress pants with a single, silent tug. Sam’s cock jerks.

“Ok, I get it,” he says, breathing too hard over the way Bucky’s chosen to make his point.

He smiles and clasps Bucky’s shoulder, smoothing up to the back of his head, ready to pull him in for a kiss, but Bucky raises a hand between them. A hand concealed by a leather glove. As Sam watches, Bucky bites the tip of the glove’s middle finger between his teeth and pulls his hand out. It comes easily, the Vibranium experiencing little friction against the lining of the glove. He then retrieves the glove from his teeth and jams it into the back pocket of his pants, out of Sam’s line of sight.

“Keep going?” Bucky asks in a rough voice.

Is his tone sexy despite or because of it being choked with desire? Sam can’t decide, but he can nod and provide a “Yeah” while longing for Bucky to just press his hips closer.

Continued eye contact is too fucking much to deal with, so Sam does pull Bucky in now, angling his mouth to meet his. The kiss isn’t anything wild. It’s steady and apparently allows Bucky to concentrate on untucking Sam’s shirt from his unbuttoned pants. Sam’s cradling the back of Bucky’s neck, rubbing his thumb up and down behind his ear (after almost immediately discovering the way it makes Bucky subtly shiver) when the Vibranium hand slips up under his shirt to touch his skin.

The initial surprisingness of the texture is enough to reinforce how unexpected this whole thing is and Sam breaks the kiss. It’s like waking up from a really lifelike dream, except he opens his eyes to see Bucky’s right in front of him. Around them is an alley, a bar where Zemo’s trading money and ass-kissing for super-soldier secrets, and the terrifying lawlessness of Low Town, Madripoor. This is where they had to be for Bucky to look at him like that.

“We’re not done,” Sam states.

“Thought maybe you…”

Sam shakes his head.

“I want to too,” he assures Bucky. “Even if you are a bad husband.”

“What? I am not!”

“You didn’t get me out of swallowing a piece of snake.”

“And I’m damn sure we agreed that you forcing me to join you evened the score. You can’t decide now that it wasn’t enough.”

Sam squints at him, slowly blinking half a minute into the eye contact to prove that it’s not a staring contest. (If it were, he would’ve won.)

“Maybe you didn’t really drink it,” he says.

“Like hell I didn’t drink it. I know you can taste it on me.”

“You know what?” Sam says, fingers rubbing against the grain of Bucky’s hair as they skate up from his neck. “It’s fucked up that I still want to kiss you after you said that.”

“You want me to find a place to buy mints first?”

Bucky’s huffing a laugh as Sam leans in to kiss him. His mouth smothers the sound and by the time their lips part again—both Bucky’s hands up Sam’s shirt as far as his burgundy vest will permit—a quavering groan slips out. Sam wants to attribute it to Bucky, but he can’t be sure. Kissing him harder, Sam puts his free hand squarely on Bucky’s ass, bringing his hips in snugly, feeling the assertive swell of his erection.

“They’re gonna come looking for us again,” Bucky warns, forehead pressed to Sam’s as he pulls his mouth away to speak. “We probably only have a few minutes.”

Sam breathes, listening to the noise from the street, before saying, “How would Smiling Tiger’s husband spend them?”

“Since he’s not a real guy,” Bucky starts, “and I’m just making him up… I’m pretty sure he’d do this…”

His hands come out from under Sam’s shirt, only to settle on his fly. Bucky unzips him and Sam’s head falls back with a laugh of disbelief because they’re not doing this. No way, not here. But this bold motherfucker convinces Sam he’s serious when he pulls the front of his pants and briefs down; Sam looks downwards, alert and aflame, to watch Bucky crouch with one knee on the pavement, eyes level with his exposed groin.

“This seem in character to you?” Bucky asks nonchalantly, forehead wrinkling with the question as he looks up at Sam.

“As if I’m gonna start critiquing,” Sam says while grabbing the waist of his pants with one hand to keep his ass covered as he rotates to put his back to the open end of the alleyway—and the door, if anyone else comes through it.

Bucky repositions to be in front of Sam. His hand’s gliding up Sam’s thigh when Sam speaks again.

“Remember, the story is that you do this so well that I’ve postponed wearing a wedding ring.”

“No pressure then, huh?” Bucky checks in a tone full of complaint.

“It was your story!”

Bucky’s mouth is abruptly too occupied to shoot off a retort. All the air goes out of Sam’s chest with the warmth of Bucky’s mouth around him, his tongue making Sam fight not to twitch his hips forward and sink deeper. Glancing down, yeah, it’s not tough to appreciate the deal Smiling Tiger struck in that story of Bucky’s. This is not a sight Sam hates. He thinks it could only be better if Bucky would look at him while bobbing his head forward and back, but, first of all, being on the receiving end of a Bucky Barnes stare in this moment might actually be more than Sam’s ready to handle and, second, Bucky with his eyes closed in apparent pleasure is a damn nice view.

The door slams open behind them just as Sam’s raising a shaky hand to scrape his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Bucky freezes and Sam straightens, hand aching with how tightly he’s suddenly holding onto his pants.

“James? Sam?” Zemo calls out. “You’re going to need to— What are you doing?”

“I dropped my… glove,” Bucky shouts back, looking up into Sam’s eyes in unfamiliar panic.

“Yeah…” Sam says, too slow but consistent with his subpar ability to lie. “…his glove. He lost—”

“Found it!”

“He found it.”

Sam glares at Bucky as he gets to his feet and withdraws the glove from his back pocket, waving it out to the side. He leans around Sam and gives Zemo a nod. Sam doesn’t turn his head far enough to get Zemo in his peripheral vision—and doesn’t turn his body at all because the only way he could hate Zemo more is if he had to live with the knowledge that he’d seen his dick, shining with Bucky’s saliva—but he’s plenty aware of the long silence the Baron does not fill following the delivery of the lie about the glove.

Eventually (and the wait is excruciating), Zemo says in a smug little voice, “Well, gentlemen, I await your return,” and closes the door. Sam doesn’t trust the Baron to have shut the door, but he does trust the sag of Bucky’s posture. They’re alone.

“Zemo’s gone,” Bucky says, returning the glove to his pocket, “and he knows.”

“Of course he knows, Buck! Did you just forget how to lie?”

“I…!”

Clearly floundering, Bucky motions to Sam’s cock with both hands. It’d be easy, and truthful, for Sam to admit that he was also too distracted to react well, but he’s not gonna throw Bucky that kind of lifeline.

Sam hitches his briefs up at the front; the discomfort of the band pushing against his shaft is worse than the awkwardness. Thinking about how many hours it might be until he and Bucky have an opportunity to continue this in a more private, Zemo-less space makes Sam want to do something really stupid, something Bucky would do, like punch the brick wall in aggravation. Problem is that Bucky’s Vibranium fist would go clean through while Sam might break his hand.

“Sexually frustrated?” Bucky asks bluntly.

So the punch-the-wall plan must’ve shown in Sam’s face.

“I’m fine,” Sam lies, belt buckle clinking as he starts putting his clothes in order.

A steady hand lands on his wrist and Sam glances up and into Bucky’s eyes. He swallows. Rather than help—refastening what he undid before—Bucky worms his hand into Sam’s briefs and wraps warm fingers around him. No, not again. Sam is not going to be the only one standing here with his dick out a second time. He runs his hand over Bucky’s chest and presses, turning them so Bucky has his back to the wall. Bucky’s hand stays loose on his cock until Sam grips him through his pants. Then, Bucky’s pumping away as Sam’s jerking his belt open—the material a sharp, ropey weave like Bucky’s tac straps in contrast to the buttery leather of Sam’s belt. Hastily, Sam gets into his pants, stretching and pawing, twisting his wrist to reach in and smooth his palm down Bucky’s length.

Their eyes meet and it’s holding hands in the car all over again.

It’s a race to the first grunt, the first groan, the first involuntary buck of the hips. Bucky’s zipper scratches at Sam’s forearm but that’s nothing, not worth letting go when he can see the glistening sweat at Bucky’s temple. Sam adjusts his grip to make a firm fist, completing long, merciless strokes that rip a rough gasp from Bucky. Of course, then he’s gotta retaliate and Sam can barely keep his shit together when Bucky pulls his hand out only to spit in the palm before thrusting it back into Sam’s pants.

“We can’t,” Bucky grits out.

“I know.”

But they keep going, Sam mentally crossing his fingers and his toes that Bucky won’t get to watch his knees wobble or his legs fold. He could swear he has Bucky on the ropes when that idiot starts pulsing his grip, tensing and relaxing his hold. His eyes are dark and unblinking as blue light seeps over them.

Sam’s overwhelming desire is to come all over Bucky’s hand, but the more responsible part of him reminds him that he’s going to have to walk back into Selby’s bar to somehow assist Zemo with the information negotiation and letting Bucky jerk him off in these expensive pants won’t help him accomplish that. He doesn’t want to bring what’s happening out here back in there, doesn’t want this thing between them reduced to part of Smiling Tiger’s fiction.

“Fuck, ok, stop!” Sam blurts.

Bucky stills immediately, not hiding his smirk when Sam takes his hand back. Bucky’s stays down the front of Sam’s pants until it’s in the way of Sam tucking his shirt back in. He clenches his teeth as he fixes his underwear, zips his pants to strain over the bulge he was so close to letting Bucky take care of. He catches Bucky with the same look on his face.

“The serum,” Sam says, attempting to refocus them both.

“Yeah. Maybe Zemo’s coaxed a lead out of Selby by now.”

Sam can’t contain his laugh.

“You better hope he has or else the only thing you achieved by breaking him out of jail was having him as a witness while you blew me.”

Bucky turns away from him so quickly that Sam knows he’s not mad; he has to be hiding his own smile. They stand there, shuffling in place for a couple more minutes. Right when Sam’s about to propose that they head inside, the side door flies open for the third time and Zemo staggers out, chased by the rapid, overlapping pops of several guns.

“Are you serious?!” Sam demands. The three of them sprint down the alley, heading for the crowded street.

Bucky channels his annoyance into a wordless shout at Zemo.

“I don’t know what went wrong,” Zemo yelps when Sam grabs his arm, hauling him around the corner as they emerge onto the street. “People usually find me very trustworthy, very persuasive.”

Sam glances at Bucky, who looks away guiltily.

“I don’t know…” Zemo pants. “…how to make this small… misunderstanding… up to you.”

“Just run!” Sam suggests. Feet pounding alongside Bucky’s as they dart down a side street, he says, “You think it’s time for you to use that knife?”

“Oh yeah,” Bucky says, like he only just remembered he has one.

Without breaking his stride, he slides the knife from his pocket, half-turns, and zings it backwards. Sam doesn’t turn to look, but he’s satisfied when the closest source of gunfire cuts off abruptly.

“This isn’t so bad,” Bucky says when they take a quick right, Zemo straggling slightly behind.

Bullets chase the three of them around the corner, ringing as they strike a fire escape and shatter a sign. Raising an arm over his head to protect himself from falling shards of glass, Sam glances at Bucky incredulously.

“I want a divorce!”

#rating has changed!#my writing #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #The Falcon and the Winter Soldier #sambucky #Sam Wilson #Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes #Helmut Zemo

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shinjaeha · 3 years

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itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

#i told sunset about you #itsay #like there's more angst to come but the real climax of it was in this ep that's how i feel anyway #idk if both of them will get in. i HOPE both of them do.#but i just think that when things get angsty at this point of the story there's always a chance for it to turn around #you just need to worry when things are too happy UNTIL you get to the last ep #tbh though i would like a kiss between them out in the open when teh's finally stopped repressing himself #just so he can show the character growth of his whole arc. so he can be free.#i would obv very much like for them to end up together but there's only one ep left so idk if they can get to that point when there's still #so much that teh has to learn to come to terms with #and he's going to be so so stressed with the exam too (i saw the previews and am bracing myself for more heartbreak as he cries)#i did not mean for this to be as long as it was but i was sporadically writing it as i worked and kept thinking of things to add #and it somehow became an essay #i wrote more in this than i've ever written in any of my uni essays GOD #if you read this whole thing you need some kind of medal or something idk man #also random note but teh's mum's kebaya looks like one that my mum owns #text

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emiewritesthings · 4 years

Text

a place of our own - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n and jay throw a small get together in celebration of buying their first house together

requested?: yesss by anonymous (can I request a Jay x reader where it took some time for the together but they've been now dating for 2 or 3 years and decided to move in together and they celebrate it throwing a party with close friends and jay surprises her proposing with a heartfelt speech? please and thank you 🥰 )

warnings: none

a/n: thank you for all your support over the past week :) it literally makes me so emotional to think people are liking what i write. any feedback is always welcomed, thank you for everything

- emie <3

masterlist

in all honesty, when jay had put the deposit down for the house, y/n didn’t know what he saw in it. it was their first time buying a house as a couple, both giving up their apartments that were on the opposite ends of the city to be reunited in a place of their own.

it was beaten up pretty badly; a few of the front windows were missing the glass, spray paint decorated a few of the bricks courtesy of some local kids. not to mention it was cold and damp, not giving off the warmest of welcomes. but jay was adamant that it was their house, their home.

it took its time, but months later y/n had to admit that the transformation the brick structure had undergone was remarkable.

everything y/n could want was handed to her on a silver platter. the once yellow tinted cream, mouldy walls had been covered by a fresh layer of grey paint. the broken floorboards replaced and covered by thick, soft carpets. y/n had nominated herself as chief decorator, since she had no desire to help jay deal with the technical stuff earlier on in the project. not that jay was complaining.

y/n could still remember the look of shock when she had returned from her ‘quick trip’ to ikea with a large amount of pillows and throws, stressing they were essential pieces of her aesthetic. but jay didn’t mind, he loved the thought of living a house that was covered in reminders of the woman he loved so dearly.

it was sometime in mid-july when y/n had declared she had officially finished the renovation of 1135 Butterfly Gardens. for a week or so, the pair allowed them to soak in their hard work, admiring how each room was a reminder that they were finally together.

to think that the two had been so hesitant to start dating in the beginning felt ridiculous. y/n cursed her past self for never daring to admit her feelings to jay earlier, but she was thankful for the last 3 years they had spent together.

side by side till the end of the line.

it had been one of those cliche quotes that jay had bought on a card for their first anniversary, but it had strangely stuck. y/n had assured that in their room hung a picture of the two with the words carefully printed beneath it.

of course, in traditional y/n style, she couldn’t wait to invite their friends over. it had been on their day off that they had invited the members of their chosen family over to the house. y/n had been rushing around cleaning every surface in sight, as if their friends would turn their noses up at the sight of a speck of dusk. but y/n couldn’t help it, cleaning was her coping mechanism. and she couldn’t deny the anxiety raketing through her veins.

unfortunately she had been so caught up in her own head, that she had failed to notice the strange behaviour she was receiving from her other half. jay had been acting rather distant in the days leading up to the party. he would go out for long ‘walks’, coming back and locking himself in what y/n called his ‘mancave’. he would take calls outside and when y/n asked him what was wrong he would brush it off and just kiss her lips in hope of distracting her. obviously it worked every time, who wouldn’t be with a man like jay halstead kissing them?

the ringing of the doorbell had caught y/n off guard. having spent the majority of her day in the kitchen cooking every recipe her grandmother had ever taught her, she abandoned the oven mitts and sprinted in the direction of the front door. thankfully, however, by the time she reached it, jay was already stood with kevin, adam, will and nat.

“there she is, the woman of the hour!” kevin cheered, being the first to embrace her tightly into his large, muscular arms. his lips pressing a sweet kiss onto her forehead in joy of seeing the woman.

kevin and y/n had gone to school together since elementry, in fact y/n had helped kevin for years raising his two siblings. he had been the one to introduce jay to y/n, when she showed up to the district, ready to spend her lunch break with her best friend.

let’s just say kevin had given her a slight nudge to reveal her true feelings to jay, telling her he had already brought a suit for their wedding. classic kevin, dramatic as always.

letting her go, y/n hugged the rest of the group. thanking them for their house warming gifts that they had given to jay. by the end of the hour their house was filled with close friends. y/n had been so busy catching up with those she hadn’t seen in weeks that she had hardly seen jay all day. the times she had seen him, he had made an excuse to leave and go find will, who now she thought about it had been smiling at her an awful lot.

walking into the backyard with kim and nat stuck to her side, she couldn’t help but feel her entire soul relax at the sight of her man sat in a garden chair, chuckling along with something that adam had said.

with a mission in her hands, she didn’t even glance at the spare garden chairs littered around the garden. instead, y/n walked up to jay and perched herself on his lap. a worrying thought passing her mind that she was too heavy, but before she could consider getting off, jay weaved his arms around her waist pulling her closer.

“hey, baby.” he greeted, pressing his lips against the skin her yellow sundress exposed on her shoulder. the feeling was addicting, but with company around, it was gone as quick as it arrived.

“am i losing my mind or have you been avoiding me?” blunt as always, y/n looked back at jay. her eyes studying how his adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. y/n knew jay was a good liar, i mean part of his job was going undercover and keeping up a lie. meaning whatever he was hiding, whatever he wasn’t telling her had to be big.

“of course not, i’ve just been busy, you know?” y/n didn’t know, because he had been taking extra measures to spend time with anyone but him. she had seen him have a thirty minute conversation with mouch about his favourite type of chile. if that was what busy looked like, she might have muddled up her definitions up.

“okay then.” she stated blankly, standing up with such force that jay’s arms instantly fell off her body. jay watched with cautious eyes, half expecting y/n to dig deeper into whatever was going on, but instead she took a seat in between adam and kevin. her eyes didn’t glance over to him once, instead she began conversation with the two men with no intentions of inviting jay into their whispers.

jay frowned, knowing she was serving him a large dish of his own medicine. the feeling of someone patting him on the shoulder made him draw his eyes away from y/n and land of his brother, who was smirking like an idiot.

“she really has you wrapped around her finger, huh?” he teased, handing jay another beer that he had left for a few moments before y/n’s arrival. not bothering to give his brother the satisfaction of answering, he brought the bottle to his lips and took a large swig. feeling the taste ease his nerves before shoving it back in his brother’s hands.

“i’m gonna do it.” he confirmed, nodding his head more to motivate himself than will. the doctor patted his back lightly, urging him to go on. subtly jay tapped his jacket until he felt the cube-shaped object against his chest. briniging himself to his feet, he wandered away from the group and stood in the middle of the garden.

“excuse me! excuse me!” the music that was lightly playing from the various speakers placed around silenced, thanks to the help of will. all eyes, including that of his beloved, moved to him. a slight chill running through him as his mind reminded him that he was doing this and he was doing this now. “i just wanted to say a big thank you to all of you for coming to celebrate with me and y/n. hell knows, we would most likely not even be together if it wasn’t for some of you guys, so it’s a pleasure to be sharing this step in our relationship with you guys.”

jay’s chest fell tight with anticipation. breath, come on halstead, he thought.

“sometimes i think about the first time i met y/n, i think about how much time we wasted trying to trick ourselves into believing we were ever ‘just friends’. quite frankly i think i fell in love with her the moment i met her. i had this beautiful, intelligent, unbelievably challenging woman in front of me and i nearly let her go.”

jay had to take a second to keep the tears in his eyes at bay, mustering up the courage to look at y/n, who had began to become emotional herself. with a simple outreached arm, y/n got the hint that he wanted her by his side, as she pushed herself away from the white plastic chair and joined him. hand in his, smiling up as he continued.

“i don’t want to imagine a life without you. without your awful singing, without your obsessive cleaning, without your strange taste in tv shows,” the crowd chuckled, but jay wasn’t even paying attention, caught up in the loving storm behind y/n’s eyes. “i’m done wasting my time because for once in my life i know what i want.”

not knowing what was about to happen, y/n’s face dropped as jay fell to one knee. his hands shaking as one of them searched into his jacket pocket before bringing out a scarlett velvet box. y/n had to swallow the sob of pure joy, when he pried it open revealing the significant jewel resting on the gold band.

“y/n y/l/n i love you,” his voice cracked, making the crowd hollar in excitement. the sound of people taking photos didn’t throw off jay’s roll though. “and it would make me the happiest person alive if you would do me the honour of being my wife.” jay’s words were deep from his heart, as both pairs of watery eyes held one another’s gaze comfortingly.

y/n had never imagined a life with anyone but jay. she couldn’t remember how many times they had stayed awake deep within the hours of the morning talking about their future together: getting married, having kids, getting a dog. but none of it felt quite as real as the moment she saw jay on his knee, with hope glazing all his features.

“yes.” she sang so softly that it could have easily been missed by anyone, but to jay it might as well have been yelled through a megaphone.

“she said yes!” kevin yells, erupting the audience of the intimate moment into an uproar. jay stood from his position on the ground, not giving it a minute before pushing his lips against her’s. the kiss was filled with every ounce of passion they had felt over the years they had known one another.

when y/n felt her chest squeeze against her lungs, she allowed herself to retract. keeping her forehead against his, she watched as he slid the ring out of the box and onto her finger. the midsummer sun catching the large diamond, making it light up like a disco ball.

“so this is why you have been ignoring me?” she snorted, feeling ridiculous for thinking that he had been hiding some bombshell of a secret. jay’s cheeks filled with heat, as he looked from her eyes to her lips, before returning them to the loveable pools of colour.

“side by side,” he began, looking at her expectantly.

“till the end of the line.”

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