#so this is catharsis in a way

[solaneceae]

imprint

a team bolas oneshot. q!baghera centric (read on ao3) hurt/comfort, found family

Day Five is technically one of the good ones, because their minds are not drowning in bloodlust and fog-mist, Foolish is making great progress on the castle off in the desert, and the other teams have been leaving them alone for the most part.

Doesn’t mean it’s a good day for Baghera, though. “My body’s so far away,” she whines, rummaging through the chests in search of iron armor and food. “You need help getting back to it?” Phil asks. The duck shakes her head, because she refuses to make him waste twenty minutes just chaperoning her as she stumbles around the map looking for her corpse. “I’ll be fine,” she sighs, picking up a diamond sword and fastening her mask onto her face. It requires some adjustments, with her having a beak and all, but she makes it work. “I’ll be okay.”

(Ten minutes later, her eyes open to dark cave ceilings and glittering gemstones, body tingling from respawn. She wants to scream.)

Phil is back with more resources, and Baghera feels strange. Not bad, just… strange.

It’s a feeling that’s been lingering even since they all fell into Purgatory, growing stronger or weaker in no discernable pattern, always somewhere at the back of her skull. Like a voice almost, not also not that, because there are no words being whispered, only vague drives. And right now, as their fearless leader busies himself at the crafting table, she gets the uncontrollable urge to get his attention. Hello, she chirps, walking up to him. He hums, but doesn’t acknowledge her further, too focused on his task. Her hindbrain gives unhappy. Hi, hi, she tries again, getting into his personal space and jumping around him and what is she doing? “Phil, Phil,” she quacks, look at me, pay attention to me! She forgot what she needed, what did she need? Hi, flock, dad, dad! 

“You’re— Jesus Christ,” Philza bursts into laughter, evading her smaller form as he moves to a nearby chest. “You’re getting in the way, Baghera.”

“Do you have a boat?” she asks, and right, that’s what she needed. He cocks his head, an amused smile on his face. “Do I have a boat.”

“Yee.”

“I don’t— I mean, sure, I can make you one.” She makes a happy sound, bounces off her heels as he gets to work. Flock, dad. Hello. “I’m not, you know I’m not gatekeeping crafting shit,” he laughs as he hands her the boat and she magicks it into her inventory. “You could make your own.” And yes, that’s true, she could. But she likes it when Philza hands her things, like earlier when he dropped food onto her when she was stuck in that hole. It makes her brain happy, somehow.

It only hits her later, when Phil has gone off somewhere, that she had started to truly associate him with that hindbrain-thrum of dad, not as a bit, but something way too real for her taste. She resists the urge to crawl into a hole and shrivel away, and decides to make one last attempt to recover her old body.

(It fails, as things tend to do today. But at least she got distracted.)

***

The silence is deafening. She can hear the occasional grumble in Portuguese coming from her earpiece as Cellbit works on the maze inside the castle, and she wishes she was there making traps instead of getting dirt all over her wings. “I want to kill some people,” she huffs as she digs through rich soil to plant yet another tea sapling. At least farming she could do without messing things up. “I wanna just— run at them and scream.” Can she have that? Can she have this one thing, can she have a little bit of fun today before her timer runs out?

Cellbit hums into her earpiece. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he says, and she can feel another part of her wilt at his final tone. “Death counts too much today, you know?” (You will die, his words twist in her tired mind. You’re weak. You can’t be left alone. You’ll drag us down.) “And Phil did so much for us this morning, I don’t wanna disappoint him.”

Well I already did! she wants to scream. I’m just a dead weight, and I waste everyone’s time and don’t accomplish anything on my own! “...Okay,” she replies instead, whisper-soft, and just keeps planting.

(She misses the rest of the family-flock. She misses Jaiden, and Charlie, and Carré, all asleep inside the nest with no sign of waking up anytime soon. She wishes she could join them, put an end to this cursed day already — but she clings onto her fear of letting Cellbit down even more than she already did, and presses on.)

Cellbit renames Iris after a commercial mascot, and that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. And she knows she shouldn’t be mad, because he doesn’t know she’s just spent twenty minutes having a breakdown over them and imprinting like crazy, but she just feels so dismissed by that. So she buries herself somewhere in the desert and screeches out her frustration where he can’t hear her, comms off.

***

“Baghera?”

Her ear feathers twitch. She looks up from the little cozy spots she had made for Iris (they’re gone now. Probably with Cellbit, helping him withe the maze. the maze she wanted to help with. She wishes Charlie had woken up earlier, so they could commiserate over their shared feelings of inadequacy.) “Phil…?” she sniffles, quickly rubbing at her cheeks to erase the evidence of her breakdown. Didn’t the crow run out of time earlier today? She hears a ch-ch-chrrrrp, and she mimics it without thinking, hindbrain buzzing with something soothing. Philza Minecraft appears from behind a corner, and his eyes are soft  or maybe he’s just tired. “Come here,” he beckons, and she finds himself getting to her feet and stepping up to him. “Something wrong?” she cocks her head at him, and he chuckles lightly. “Nah, mate. Just come over here.”

He leads her out of the alcove and into their… sleeping quarters, which was just another part of the cave with their nest in the middle. “Kay, sit down,” the crow says, patting the side of the nest, and part of her panic with the childish fear of oh shit, am I in trouble? “You’ve got sand in your feathers. Lemme help you get that out before you bring it with you in the family pile, yes?”

Oh. She glances at her comm, realises she only has about twenty minutes before it knocks her out for the day. She clacks her beak in frustration — she had accomplished a whole out of nothing today. Fais chier. “...Okay,” she sighs, because at least a little preening sesh would be a decent way to end this shitty day.

“I noticed you were having a rough time,” the crow hums, carding his claws through the down on her arms to dislodge a few pebbles. “Thought you could use some TLC.”

She blinks owlishly (duckishly?). “I don’t know what that means.”

“Ah, like, just taking care of you a little. You felt sad and frustrated all day.”

She deflates, ear feathers drooping. “Didn’t think it was that obvious.”

“It’s not. I just notice this shit better than most,” Phil hums, dislodging more sand that drop outside the nest and digging his claws further in. Baghera closes her eyes — it feels nice. Her wings had been so itchy all day. “Especially when it comes to other avians.”

Right. Philza had retained more memories of his time outside the island than most of them, that made sense. “I’m sorry for calling you dad,” she blurts out, before she loses the nerve to. “I know everyone… I know everyone did it, for the joke, but I think I forgot it was a joke.” (“Dad, are you proud of me? I killed a silverfish!”) 

She remembers Charlie belting out a ‘papa!’ when Phil came back with apples and berries two days ago. She remembers Jaiden calling him dad when he bandaged her left wing after a bad fall, Cellbit’s whiny ‘daaad, when are you gonna come pick me up?’, Carré jokingly moaning out a ‘gracias papi!'. Foolish is the only one that didn’t follow the pattern at this point, probably because he, too, is an immortal being… and the only one free of daddy issues and trauma, apparently. “I don’t mean to,” she breathes out. “My brain’s been all weird since we came here, and I don’t… I don’t mean when we get all starved and murder-y.”

Phil hums, plucks out a loose feather. “Yeah, same. Something about this place is fucking with our code I think. Mob code, specifically. That’s why they’re buffed to hell, It’s not your fault.”

“But it’s,” she groans, struggling to find the right words, both because of the language barrier and her own messy feelings. “You already have kids. I’m an adult. I can’t force that role on you, but my stupid bird brain keeps screaming at me. It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s natural, Baghera. I don’t mind. And… forgive me for pointing it out, but if what you said yesterday was true, then you’ve never had an older avian to imprint on as a child. So it’s no wonder your instincts are going crazy now.”

She freezes. “...Oh,” a quiet realization, shame, regret. “You, um. You understood that.” You took it seriously. You remembered. Somehow, that makes her feel… a bit better. Seen. Despite the fact that she just blurted out her deepest darkest secret as a bit, and lo and behold, consequences. Phil shrugs. “If it makes you feel better, I don’t think anyone else did,” he hums, smoothing out her left wing with a satisfied croon. “Gimme the other one? Good, nice.”

“You’re not mad?” she asks, so quiet and hesitant Philza stops and looks up at her. “That I’m a clone. That I’m… Federation property.”

“Don’t say that shit,” he bares his teeth, puts his hands on her shoulders to squeeze them tightly. “They don’t owe you. It doesn’t matter if they made you or whatever, you’re not them. If anything, you’ve got even more of a reason to hate them as the rest of us.”

“I don’t know…. I don’t know what they did, to me. I don’t even think I’m a real avian.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’m not like you. Or like Jaiden.” she gestures to her left wing. “I have a bill, you have… human face. Mostly human.” She makes a strangled sound. “Your wings are on your back, mine are just my arms, they’re just this. And even if— even if they weren't clipped, I couldn’t fly with those, only glide, maybe. I know that. They made me wrong.” Her eyes well up with angry tears. “They all… my siblings, they’re all dead, Phil. They all died, and I’m the only one left, and I’m not even good. I’m defective. Maybe that’s why I mess up everything. Maybe that’s why I’m such a burden for you guys.”

“Dude, stop.”

Philza closes his mouth before he can protest, both pairs of eyes turning to a sluggish Charlie, sans glasses, pushing himself up from his blankety prison without rousing Jaiden or Carré. “That’s… that’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard you say. And we debated about human milk cheese and the ethics of eating your own eggs, so that’s saying something,” he mutters, more serious than the duck has ever seen him. The effect is a little diminishes by his squinty, smaller-than-usual eyes (she was so used to seeing him with her glasses permanently stuck to his face) and the yawn that drowns out the end of his tirade, but it still makes Baghera’s breath hitch and her throat close up with emotions. “Charlie…”

“Okay look— I barely feel real right now, yeah? I just woke up, and I haven’t got a modicum of context here, but I’m not letting you talk shit about yourself.” The slime hybrid hauls himself up with a wince, the corruption on his arms and face buzzing and writing angrily for a second. “G-ah. T-Thisssss is gon-gonna b-be a bad, ba-aad day, hu-uuh.”

“Slime— wow, mate, maybe you should lay back down and wait it out.”

“S-Sorry d-aaaad, I’m going th-through mmmmy rebell-bellious phase.” Charlie staggers up to them and sits across Baghera movements stilted and visibly uncomfortable. The duck hybrid opens her bill to tell him off — no no stop it, you’re hurting yourself — but he wraps both arms around her and rests his forehead against her shoulder, the tingle-freeze of his codified parts stunning her into silence. It doesn’t hurt, and she’s not about to refuse a hug from a constantly touch-starved Slime, but it does sting a little. Like static shock, but not quite. “You’re so fucking great dude,” the man says, corruption leaving his voice as the glitches diminish in intensity. “I never told— never told you this, but the first day we met. The wedding? That was the first time in a while that someone was willing to go along with my bullshit.” He squeezes her a bit tighter. His face feels a bit wet agaisnt the feathers of her shoulder, and Baghera lets out a string of hurt? hurt? no, flock, clean. “It felt good. And— hey, not only that, but you were also the only one where who didn’t have pity, or scorn, or, or distrust written all over your face. But maybe I just didn’t know how to read duck body language at the time, haha.”

“I wasn’t pitying you,” Baghera murmurs, trembling arm coming to rest against her friend’s back. Words feel like jagged rocks going up her tight throat. “I didn’t know anything about you. I just found you funny, and you listened to me when we talked about the elections. You kept making sure I was being heard, and… and you were nice to Pomme on her birthday, too. That was enough for me. You know?”

Slime chuckles wetly. “Yeah. She’s a great kid. We’ll fucking get her back, okay?”

“I hope so…”

“Hey. Listen.” He draws away to cup Baghera’s face, squishing it slightly between his hands. Her feathers puff up as a result, it’s funny. “Listen well, Baghera Jones. My—” a sharp intake of breath. “M-My Flippa’s fine, yeah? She’s just waiting for me back at the island, she’s not in danger. But your kid is. And if… haha, if I can be sappy for a sec. With Jaiden, you’ve been the closest thing to a real friend I’ve had for a long time. So I’ll help you get Pomme back, alright?”

The duck’s green eyes well up with tears, some of which start painting dark streaks down her face. “Of… of course I’m your friend,” she sniffles, and she keeps making low chirp-trills Charlie doesn’t understand. “And you’re mine too. I care about you, Charlie.”

“I know. I… I know. And I won’t have you saying bad things about yourself either. You’re litterally so fucking cool, and you put up with my bullshit like nobody else, and I feel safe blurting out the most unhinged crap on God’s cubic Earth because I know you’ll just double down and make me question my sanity, in the best possible way.” He giggles, an unsteady, wild little thing slightly cut up by a stray glitch. “Or whatever’s left of it.”

Baghera’s comm beeps, startling the three of them. Philza approaches (had he moved away to give them space? Aw.), scoffs, glares at the bright red numbers on her wrist. “Fuckin— stupid-ass time limit,” he curses. “We don’t have much time, but we can end your day on a good note, okay?”

The duck hybrid glances at Philza, then at Charlie, pupils so wide the green can barely be made out. She takes a deep breath, thinks of the team. Of her children, waiting for her somewhere. Of everyone else that they lowkey hated right now. And she nods.

***

“Do it Baghera, do it!”

“That’s right, fuck ‘em up!”

“I’m doing it!” the duck woops, pouring the final bucket over the structure and watching it roll across the soil and crops who quickly start to catch on fire. “It’s working, it’s working!”

“Baby’s first lavacast,” Phil coos fondly from his roosting spot, wiping a fake tear from his eye. “I’m so proud.”

He and Charlie watch as Baghera cackles madly, her eyes alight with the fires of war, staring down at her handiwork. “They are so gonna know it was us,” Slime hums, a huge smile on his face as he marvels over Blue’s farm being covered in ash and cobblestone. Phil shrugs. “Yeah, there’s no way. Worth it though.”

“So worth it,” the slime hybrid nods approvingly — Baghera was finally having fun, and seeing her smiling was definitely a highlight of today. “Oh we’re gonna get fucked in the ass tomorrow. No lube, all diamond sword just like God intended.”

Philza bursts into mad, crow-like cackles at that, hitting the slime hybrid’s shoulder to push him off the perch. Charlie falls with an indignant, high-pitched scream that makes Baghera laugh even harder. “How much time left?” the Crowfather calls out at her, and she turns to him with a mad ducky grin. “Eleven seconds!” she quacks back, and Philza’s eyes widen. “What?!”

“Yepp! Gonna pass out now see you tomorrow catch me or let me die I don’t care I have nothing on me!” she sing-songs rabbit-quick, pulling a little jig on top of her dirt tower before her body seizes with a gasp, her comm shocking the literal daylights out of her. Slime lets out a loud oh shit and takes off in a mad sprint as Philza jumps down as well, managing to cushion the duck’s fall with his own goopy, goopy body. “Ow,” he whines, voice muffled by the loose dirt he’s faceplanted into. “My sometimes-existing bones.”

“You good mate?” Philza reached them both, kneeling to check on Baghera — not a single heart of damage on her, her face neutral and peaceful in electronically-induced sleep. “Good catch.”

“Thanks.” Charlie lets his friend roll off his body with a grunt, pulling himself back together quickly before, hauling his friend on his back. “Mission accomplished, Crowfather Phil! Now let’s skedaddle the fuck outta here before Tubbo or BitchBoyHalo shows up.”

“Yeah, time to dip. Back to base, Bolas!”

“WOOOOOOH YEAAAAH! LET’S FUCKING ROLL!”

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #team bolas #baghera jones #q!baghera #philza #q!philza #slimecicle #q!slimecicle #fanfic #listen listen #it was hard watching baghera's pov that day #literally nothing went right #so this is catharsis in a way #also her and charlie's friendship is so important to me #both in and outside the server #i have never seen charlie so legitimately gobsmacked by another person before her #she's another level of chaos and one i aspire to reach lmao

[kateis-cakeis]

I think what really gets to me with the finale is that Merlin was so close to getting Arthur to the lake. Yet, there was no plan beyond that. It's like even if they did get there, who knows if anything would have happened.

The idea that there was still more tragedy awaiting even if they made it, that yeah despite all of Merlin’s magic, he couldn't save Arthur's life.

It was always the possibility of the Sidhe, but there was no guarantee. It was all hope from the start, endless hope that failed them in the end.

Because well, it was always supposed to happen like this anyway... Arthur was meant to die so he could rise again, there was no alternative

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #some little festive angst for you all on the angstiest day of the year for this fandom ;) #i just feel for Merlin so much all that hope to save his loved one and yet and yettttt #like genuinely what would have happened like Merlin has gone around murdering Sidhe left and right djdjdjd #It was always meant to be this way is something that we all must come to accept with the canon #As Julian Murphy said in the infamous commentary they had to deliver on Arthur's death because they had been building up to it for so long! #anyway i love it watching Arthur's death is kinda like a strange catharsis for me these days #like it's I look at it like it's okay there's still hope it's okay to watch him die and feel sad it's not over forever

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 75: onehat

#codacheetah #isat #loop isat #siffrin isat #isat act 6 spoilers #twohat spoilers #isat spoilers #yea im tagging the onehat post twohat spoilers. watch me #..do we know what time of day it is when siffrin goes to the favor tree? #i always imagined the evening for some reason. #um so anyways. hey do you guys ever think about onehat. do you think about it #do you ever think about how siffrin never learning about loop and never getting closure with them #is just as valid of an ending as twohats. you dont have to get twohats. loop getting some catharsis isnt necessary to siffrin's narrative. #they asked to be here. they were here to help siffrin. and they did. and it ended #that's it. #i've always wondered if loop saw siffrin perform the ritual for them #i wonder if it would comfort them or not. if you ask them if they're a ghost they say yes (and no) after all #the tree is their grave. #something something from main character to stage director to sponsor to corpse #and with how arcane the prereqs for twohats are. yes you can get them naturally on a first playthrough but it's definitely not the majority #experience especially playing blind. #to give loop an ending you have to reach back in with both hands and grasp at that connection #i dont rlly know how to articulate it but it makes me feel a kind of way tbh. you only learn the prereqs (w/o guidance) by talking to loop #very frequently and paying attention to the hints they drop to you about the coin. labor of love situation #self love. siffrin reaching back for loop. We Are Getting Out Together Bitch #Is this anything i dont know that it is #idk onehat fascinates me a lot and im not even gonna touch on the onehats playthroughs where u actually do get the prereqs #i think there is a slight tendency among some fans tocharacterize loop as. more vindictive than they are? i guess? #it's easy to stare down loop's big twohats breakdown and see them bare their fangs and look into their anger #but loop's willingness to fade into nothing and leave siffrin alone shouldnt be forgotten i dont think

[shadebloopnik]

There's just something about Floyd being unhinged in fics that just gets me.

Like yes he gets portrayed as a sweet frail uwu boi most of the time, which is also niceee and all, and would also suit his sensitive title. But then there are fics where Floyd is absolutely off the rails at times; where Floyd is nearing losing his voice being the loudest in a shouting match, where Floyd nearly bites someone's head off in anger, where Floyd tries to sneak out of his room multiple times even when his body still very much recovering from greeting his grandma, where Floyd wrestles with his brother on the floor because he's about to do impulsive sht for the people he cares about, fics where Floyd absolutely LOSES HIS SHIT

And the best part is that none of it is out of character for him at all. In fact, it'd cement his title as the sensitive one even more. Being sensitive isn't just about sad and mopey. Sometimes its about being nuts, and paranoid, and being impulsive when your loved ones are in danger and being so so angry that you'd yell and cry from the frustration. Not that he's always feral and wild- because he's def the one to mediate most of the time, but in situations where his loved ones are in danger, I just love when he's unapologetically emotional in every aspect about it, when he's sobbing and yelling without abandon.

There's something about Floyd in fics letting his emotions speak in such a powerful, feral way that gets me.

#Floyd losing his shit in fics just provides an unimaginable catharsis #And You'll Never Ever Wanna Let It Go by Salem_V #it has such an amazing scene of Floyd going apeshit and going nuts with worry i love it so much #boi was prepared to fist fight his way through his brothers and a horde of bergens #Gimme a Hand Would'ja? by tea0W0stache #has Floyd which is shown to be very caring and understanding of his brothers emotional needs. the usual Floyd stuff which makes us love him #but it also has scenes of him being so weak that he has to be dragged to bed #but still needs Bruce to keep an eye on him bc mans will crawl his way out the bunker to escape and do shit- #floyd #floyd trolls #trolls floyd #trolls #trolls dreamworks #trolls band together #brozone #ao3 #fanfics #fics #fanfiction #archive of our own #love this feral emotional emo #floyd appreciation #bloopnik rambles

[sleepymarmot]

The semi-rewatch of the s3 finale validated my past self's affection for Lucy Saxon

Every single new who showrunner, RTD included, repeatedly: Check out this character who is a dark mirror of the Doctor! RTD, his brain huge: Yes yes but how about we give them a dark mirror of a companion?

#doctor who #blah blah blah #lava klanka is watching you #if going on a trip with a time lord makes young women detached from their normal lives; desensitized to violence; desperate to impress him #- then what happens if that time lord has malicious intentions and does this specifically to break them? #lucy doesn't have a lot of screentime but it's so clear what's going on with her throughout it #like. even beyond the doctor-companion parallels #the way she loses hope in the future and commits to the “bring on the apocalypse! let us be the hot evil couple!” attitude #despite not actually having the stomach for even witnessing violence up close #as long as she can find comfort/excitement/catharsis in the epic scale of the events #...flash forward a year to the full awareness of the terrible mundanity of evil

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[khalliys]

Critical Role is just such a warm and wonderful gift for wlw representation.

We have the two who saw each other from opposite ends of a bumpy broken road, who braved rain and thunderstorms and faced obstacles and hurdles but were always on track towards each other - even when they didn't know they were, even when they couldn't see they were - until the rain got lighter and they started walking with purpose. And then they finally reached each other in the middle, embraced and never let go.

And we have the two who started on a bumpy broken road together, who are braving red sand storms and go over obstacles and hurdles side by side and where at some point intertwining each others hands for support and comfort - so that they always know they're still walking together, even when they can't see and there's too much sand in their eyes - and then never letting go was just the right descision to make.

#this is a positivity post #please don't come here to argue about which ship is better #they're so different #and therefore offer different meanings #different ways to relate #and a different catharsis #to every individual who's watching #and that in itself is meaningful and amazing #we all enjoy different things #and cr has something to relate to #for so many different queer experiences at this point #we should celebrate that! #critical role #imodna #beauyasha #wlw #cr3 #cr2 #cr spoilers

[touchlikethesun]

xx

#creds to soma for summing up my thoughts it's the perfect caption #i think the post game bus sleepy bus back scenes are some of my favourites #it's a very necessary catharsis both for the characters and for the audience #they are also normally quite soft and aesthetic and i swear they draw them cuter on purpose #like i couldn't put this in the post because there too much too talk about but #yachi's little nod tanaka and noya leaning on each other kags fighting the demons #TSUKKI AND YAMS #the way they're alternating breaths has my heart all up in sorts #and yes i included them twice in this clip no it's not like that in the show but i needed to see more of them #haikyuu #karasuno #i can't tag everyone so i'll just tag the ones that i already have a few posts for #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #kagehina #tsukkiyama #tsukkishima kei #tsukki <3 #yamaguchi tadashi #yachi hitoka #kiyoyachi #kiyoko shimizu #sugawara koushi #sawamura daichi #asahi azumane

[utilitycaster]

I've gotten a couple replies of "and that's terrifying" on this post about the more stable members of Bells Hells, and, to be honest, hate that, so let's talk about it.

There's a couple reasons. The first that I still don't know who the fuck thought the Issylra half of the party split would be Team Levelheaded and not Team Abandonment Issues, because, well, it's the latter. The second is that there's been a near constant undercurrent from quite early in the campaign of "oh Orym...he's going to break...he's a powder keg" and while he's decidedly not a powder keg, we did get him finally breaking a bit, and suddenly everyone's like "HORRIFYING that the guy I kept claiming was uniquely angsty is now having a harder time with the party split than the other characters whose equally tragic backstories I've consistently ignored, diminished, and dismissed."

All three of the Bells Hells characters in Team Issylra have issues related to loneliness and being left behind, which is a common thread through the party, but notably, Fearne, FCG, and Chetney being more stable should not be surprising nor scary. Resilience isn't tied to whether or not you're somewhat chaotic, or have mechanically-induced loss of control, and that's what we're talking about here. The reason why Team Issylra is having a rough time of it - and specifically why Laudna and Orym are falling apart whereas Ashton is doing comparatively well - is because they've been constantly pretending things are okay. Chetney, meanwhile, genuinely does think the worst thing that happened to him fucking rules, and has the age and perspective and sheer survival instincts to pull through; FCG has, within the story, had to face some horrifying realizations about himself and so has some tools for this kind of situation; and Fearne is to be honest still learning that consequences are a thing that happens, but she has dealt with a few profound disappointments and is sitting with them - she openly admitted she's not terribly impressed by her parents.

On the other hand, I think Orym has worked through the earlier stages of grief, to be sure, but he's put a brave face on over it and tried to look at the bright side. Which isn't the worst idea, but it means when the things he's built that idea of a bright side upon - Keyleth's infallibility, his relationships within the Crown Keepers - are nowhere to be found, he doesn't have anything to take hold of. He adjusted to one devastating change by clinging to the constants, and now that many of the constants are gone too, he has no mechanism to process the change in their absence.

And this is Laudna's whole deal, right? I do in fact agree that her initial death was still the worst thing that's happened to her so far, but that doesn't mean she can't still be incredibly upset by major events. It's comforting to know you've survived worse, but it doesn't necessarily help you actually get through a slightly less terrible (but still pretty terrible) situation. She says she can't stop compartmentalizing or she'll cry - but like, she'd probably feel better if she'd just spent the second watch crying. Like Orym, Laudna's developed this idea that she can will things into being okay, and in the end, she can't. Leaning into the "Today SUCKS" attitude would, honestly, help her, and I'm hoping she does so.

Ashton meanwhile doesn't have healthy coping mechanisms, but they do have coping mechanisms that work in this situation (namely, drinking and hitting things). He also, more importantly, has no investment in pretending things are okay. Ashton thinks the world is full of utter bullshit that will fuck you over, and the point is to get through it, and sure, it's a very cynical mindset, but there's a reason why toxic positivity is, well, toxic.

As a sidebar, I also think that Ashton has, fascinatingly and despite their drunken talk with Laudna on the skyship, put their abandonment issues into perspective. Ashton is able to handle the current situation because, logically, they were teleported to a random location beyond their control and with no capacity to contact other people, so it's reasonable to assume the other half of the party is in the same position. No one abandoned anyone. To quote Ashton themself, actually, from episode 25, "Sometimes shit's just fucked up, and the only thing you can do because you didn't do anything fucking wrong, is get the fuck back up and do the exact same thing all over again knowing that there was nothing to learn." On the other hand, the fact that Milo saved Ashton makes that particular situation worse. If Ashton had been left to die in the street and a random uninvolved stranger picked him up? Then you can at least imagine the Nobodies had to leave, or couldn't pick them up for whatever reason, or even perished themselves. The fact that Milo was able to make this choice means the Nobodies also had the ability to make a choice, and the choice was to leave them behind, and that's what stings, and that's the unique loneliness, and that's why this situation isn't comparable.

So anyway, in summary, it's unsurprising the two people who have handled grief and tragedy by trying to quietly (in Orym's case) and not-so-quietly (in Laudna's) smooth it over are finding themselves completely unable to do so and barely holding together, whereas the people who allow themselves to be upset or, frankly, just go apeshit, are doing much better.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #bells hells #Ashton (and Deni$e) are honestly reminding me of the Yasha pit fight in C2 rn #like was that a healthy coping mechanism no but Yasha honestly did feel much better after it and her recovery trajectory went up from there #and ashton has the other dimension of like. he has chronic pain. it's unfair and serves no purpose. shit happens. #it's very they should invent a way out that isn't through but unfortunately they didn't so fuck it i'm smashing the wall #i mean barbarian rage as catharsis isn't a new idea by any stretch but. the thing about a reckless attack is it feels good as hell

[cakebatteronabrickwall]

I finally sat down and watched Fellow Travelers and, while many things can be said about it, here is what stood out to me: It is a love story. Yes. But it is also a story about time. More importantly, a story which over and over battles with the concept of "too late". For example, Jackson is dead by episode 7, but the scene of Tim going to see him after the birth succeeds it in the chronology of the story. Or, we know Tim and Hawk have been seperated for quite a bit in the most current timeline, but their lives intersect on every other level that comes before it. The storytelling (aided by the editing) makes all these moments exist side by side; the love, the tragedy, the everything else, by playing around with these 30 years. You can't be too late when time doesn't seem to exist in a linear way. And then there is the final scene, which may as well have been the first. This scene illustrates that it also is never too late for change or for the truth, because here is Hawk, after everything, finally able tell his daughter about the man he loved. Freely. Without fear of judgement. Without fear of his own truth.

Love is beyond measure. So is time. So is truth.

#i think i was in general surprised by how much hawk was the main main character #but in a good way because i think that's what makes this work! #i asked a while back if this show was a cliche tragic gay love story and i shouldn't have worried #the last scene alone brings so much catharsis #i'll be thinking about this for quite some time especially (but not exclusively) matt bomer's performance because wow #oh and the soundtrack #fellow travelers

[notedchampagne]

ok i just finished midnight mass. great show im really depressed. most notably as someone born and raised so so very catholic i found it really funny how it took me a full minute longer to understand specifically *what* was fucked up in some scenes, because the music beats and the reactions clearly implied something was going downhill but i had to reflect a good moment to remember oh right thats bad. always needing someone to blame and doing things that make you feel terrible, to be relieved of the guilt since you are enacting a will outside you, all for the promise of salvation, not your typical line of ordinary thinking, right rightrightrightright

#chat #really fucking funny to me sorry #im so sad. in a catharsis way but also not even that just like in a falling off the wagon kind of way

[appsa]

Challengers was so diabolical for presenting tashi as the cool one who never says i love you back to art at first, and then later revealing that she wants nothing more than to stay with the man who loved her the same even after she couldnt play tennis anymore to the point where she asks patrick to throw the game so that they can stay together 😭 its not that she refuses to say that she loves art and wouldnt love him the same when they no longer had tennis to share between them, its that ART needs that to be uncertain because he never grew out of being 18 and playing for her number and he's still playing that game 15 yrs later even after shes married him and had his child

#crazyyy that its actually about how art knows there r better ppl than him #and its his privilege as a white man w a degree from a fancy college that got him where he is #hes already won the game!!!!!! but he still has this left #honestly they keep talking abt how he still has one trophy left to win. its the open or whatever. it was always patrick #patrick dropping the racquet to catch art in the last scene sticks w me for that reason 😭 #theyre finally growing up and letting go of tennis jghhjjk #patrick doing the thing w his serve drives me ceazy on second watch. because its so clear that he was scared #that art would give up after that #bleghhh throws up abt it. trying to be ok abt the failed career by knowing the part u had in someone elses successful one #also also the catharsis of patrick being there to catch arts fall.... #the way he wasnt there to catch tashi during herss #art who is an extension of tashi at this point..... #agh. i love it. sorry #challengers

[spacedlexi]

not finishing this before the year ends so take this wip...as a treat..

#this shit has gone thru so many edits...even this could use a touch up #but at least i finally finished the nightmare rewrite :) i can see the light at the end of the tunnel #now its just time to finish the hardest scene of the whole thing :) emotional climax... #twdg #violentine #wip #to think this fic got repurposed from 'pre S4 revive clemvi ending' to 'post S4 clemvi catharsis' its come such a long way

[averlym]

"careful, or i'll quote that"

#adamandi #was going to be normal but then this scene popped into my head and played on loop and like #guys this scene just makes me Miserable. they're so friends now they're so happy and funny and then later in the show #she manipulates him and he tries to kill her and like. my god beatrix vincent friendship. omg. #im so. it kills me. i realise these arent the most accurate character styles but i Had to get it out. oh my god. literally the other day i #i was like ''oh haha im not going to directly draw scenes from the show im going to be Thinky and Extra'' but no actually sometimes the #the scenes from the show just hit. this line the delivery the Situations it kills me. im so hnnghghf about them #something also maybe about rewatching media knowing the whole plot and the extra Tragedy it all brings also. like to know the ending will #break your heart (but be also some sort of stunning catharsis) and to watch it all!!! again!!!! aaagh. #fun facts about the first time i watched adamandi proper after looking through the tumblrs and half-spoiling it for myself.. i went in with #the strangest assumptions of portia dies/ vincent makes a virus that kills the other nominees instead of actually stabby stabby and the #new invented biological thing would make him the winner a-la frankenstein style //. quincy cuts off his hand????? i am not sure where any #of these came from T-T but im glad i was wrong on literally every count. #miscellaneous brainrots from re-watching.. in the very very start i think vincent is wearing a mask in word to the wise?? like it was probs #a covid safety thing but it makes me go teehee for some reason. like the whole infectious thing was foreshadowed LMAO (approx 35 seconds in #also the balloons. and the admin. and the balloons. the way it's horrific and the balloons gently rain down #and you can see them bounce in the stunned silence. ooo that little detail. what a moment. #also at this point? i have been noticing the little inconsistencies in actions btwn shots but a) they're not seeable unless you're looking #Closely like i was for specific moments as references.. and b) it makes u think about the inconsistency of theatre as a medium and how nth #is ever delivered the same two ways which is really just !!!! to me. smth smth so so many ways to intepret characters and how everything is #always in flux every single cycle. theatre medium my beloved. #last side note from now: i am so abnormal about the marmorius society members who were phaethon nominees in their own right and instead #perished helping ambrose with HIS project. like. that is some sort of love there isn't it? like???? yes they're all bullies and awful but. #i've been reaching tag limit really quickly with all the recent posts. rambles i guess. so so many thoughts. well actual tags now i guess! #vincent aurelius lin #beatrix valeria campbell

[scorpiothesaint]

i can't wait till i have the $$ for boxing lessons bc at a certain point in my recovery journey i realized i have a lot of #anger that i will never get out through my art or therapy or journaling in a significant way. plus it'll tie it full circle cuz i used to watch boxing with my dad when i was v little and go 'imma be a female boxer!!' but my folks only let me do karate bc it's relatively safer / meant for self-defense primarily rather than offense.

#as a black person i have to repress anger in so many settings bc Racism & it's not fair & not healthy & i deserve catharsis i deserve to #express emotion in a way that isnt harming others #when i finish school i think thatll be the 1st thing i do next yeae #*year

[ickypuppi3]

#billy hargrove #+ words #the way billy deserved to be so so angry #been thinking about billy in relation to catharsis recently and this quote just #grabbed me by the throat so #here we are #anyway #let billy be angry let billy scream and cry and show his emotions #if there’s one thing i feel passionately about it’s how valid billy’s anger is #all of his emotions but anger especially #considering that’s the one that makes people so uncomfortable #the one that people use to push the bad guy agenda