#start you a bath but things kept piling up. he spent the whole drive home beating himself up. because ‘things’ continue piling up and bless

[sashimiyas]

tonight, osamu, i am thinking of you. welcome homeeeeeee 🫂

#reinas.inretrograde #baby i miss you sm #but anyways thinking him just whispering the filthiest and most romantic shit into your ear and down your jaw #like your guys’ schedules haven’t aligned in days. you’ve been missing each other and finally #finally osamu gets home. and you’ve just plopped yourself into bed. and his breath hitches at the sight of you still awake #he didn’t mean to get out so late. wanted to finish his stuff early so that he could come home before you and spoil you. make you dinner or #start you a bath but things kept piling up. he spent the whole drive home beating himself up. because ‘things’ continue piling up and bless #ya. he really doesn’t deserve you at all because at this point. even if you’re irritated… you understand. #and you’re in bed with a face shiny from moisturizer and some baggy pajamas because you haven’t been eating well without him so you’re all #bloated and osamu drops everything in his hands and basically topples his whole body on top of you. doesn’t let you chastise him for his #dirty clothes on the bed. they’re going to come off soon anyways. says ‘baby. fuck. baby.’ in between kisses. ‘fucking look at ya. always so #pretty for me.’ and you have to roll your eyes because he’s exaggerating but osamu won’t have it. he wants you. is eager for you. and he’ll #tell you over and over again what he’s been thinking every time he’s been away from you.

[thedumpsterqueen]

Standards of Performance, Chapter 8: Heartbreak and Lattes

From the Beginning,  Previous Chapter

AO3 Link

Only announcement for this week: I've started a new job, and my schedule is such that a weekly update is unlikely without the quality being verrrry questionable. Therefore, I've decided to move off a set schedule, but I PROMISE I will update at least twice a month. Thank you for your patience and understanding; I know a set schedule is preferable but I wanna make sure this doesn't go to shit. Also... apparently this isn’t showing up in the tags I use, which sucks - so reblogs help a lot if you’re able. I love you guys <3

Summary: You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter Summary:  In which decisions are made and overturned and many cups of coffee are drunk.

Words: 2666

Rating: Explicit, 18+. Warnings on AO3.

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

You were sulking.

Not enough to affect your work - you’d have to go through something much worse than heartbreak before you risked your internship. But your home life was beginning to resemble a timelapse straight out of an overdramatic teen movie wherein the protagonist’s crush asks someone else to prom. Your apartment was a pile of half-done laundry, takeout containers, and case files; your evenings filled with sad Spotify playlists and too much red wine. 

And work? Not much better. Seeing him stride into the office every morning, filled with power and purpose and completely oblivious to the fact that he had shoved your heart into a metaphorical blender with a simple response to a seemingly innocuous question was really starting to wear you down. You had been so sure, that was the thing - so convinced by the team’s reaction to your story that it had all meant something. And maybe it had. But he had looked you in the face and told you it didn’t, so that was the answer that mattered.

So maybe sulking was the wrong word. ‘Spiraling’ was more accurate. A controlled spiral, mitigated only by the fact that 1. you had appearances and responsibilities to maintain and 2. Aaron Hotchner wasn’t actually the reason you showed up to work every morning, despite what it had seemed lately.

And it had seemed like that. You remembered getting the phone call that you had been accepted for an interview for the BAU internship, and the phone call that you made it to the final round, and finally the phone call that you had gotten the position - each more exciting than the last. You remembered meeting him, shaking his hand, completely oblivious to how much he was about to fuck up your life. Even when you first started to feel something for him, you convinced yourself it was nothing - a harmless crush wrought from your veneration and respect for one of the best in the field. Someone you admired. Someone you wanted to be one day. But then he’d made the unfortunate move of revealing bits and pieces of himself to you, exposing tiny slivers of humanity and emotion you were convinced didn’t exist, until you realized he was a person, an incredible one, and it wasn’t just admiration you felt anymore. It took all of a few months and a handful of genuine conversations until you were this far gone, and after he made it clear that your pining was one-sided, you knew you had to stop your fall there. 

So you tried.

You kept your conversations strictly professional. Avoided driving with him or sitting next to him on flights whenever possible. Disallowed yourself lingering glances. But it was still too goddamn much. He was still too goddamn much.

The next case pushed you over the edge. It was bad (not just normal bad, BAU bad), and it was no one’s fault, not really. You got called in late, the evidence was shoddy at best, and when all was said and done, you caught the unsub, but only after he’d killed 4 women. The last one died moments before you arrived and apprehended the killer, and despite the delay of those few minutes being, again, no one’s fault, the team was at each other’s throats the whole trip home. 

You were slouched in the corner of the plane trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Morgan and Reid were sniping viciously about something completely unrelated to the case, because despite everything they’d just endured, they would never outright blame each other for what went wrong. Hotch, deciding he’d heard enough, raised his head slightly and said quietly,

“They’re not always going to end the way we want. We did all we could.”

And you were just done. You couldn’t stand to be around this pillar of strength and compassion and resolve. You needed to hate him for rejecting you, and you couldn’t. So you marched over to his seat, and, steeling yourself, you said what you’d been wanting to say since he broke your heart:

“I need a day off.”

It had sounded more dramatic in your head.

“A day off?”

You nodded. Hotch gathered himself, seeming to realize that such a request wasn’t unheard of (though perhaps in his department it essentially was) and nodded. 

“This case was difficult. I wish I could say exceptionally so. Get me your paperwork by tonight and take tomorrow off.”

You went back to your seat, relief overshadowed by disgust that it wasn’t, in fact, the 4 deaths you’d just been privy to that had broken you - it was the crush on your boss. You’d handled this case like a champ, in fact, because you were so absorbed in self-pity that you couldn’t feel anything else.

You needed to fucking recalibrate.

***

You were determined to make the next 24 hours the most self-indulgent, healing 24 hours you’d ever experienced. Quiet breakfast at a cafe? Planned. Self-improvement books? Downloaded. Vibrator? Fully charged. 

No man was going to keep you from focusing on the internship you’d been gunning for for years. No man was worth that. You were going to cry, you were going to journal, you were going to masturbate, and you were going to get him out of your head.

You were going to march into the quaint little coffeeshop two blocks away that you’d Googled last night, you were going to order the cinnamon spice latte that an indie food blog had called “the epitome of fall,” and you were going to go for a nice, early morning walk.

Except you weren’t. 

Because the next morning, when you turned to leave after grabbing your drink from the barista, you saw Hotch sitting at the table by the window. And Hotch saw you. And you weren’t equipped to handle this situation, because you were only 4 pages into your self-help book so far and honestly, the smile that lit up his face when you made eye contact would’ve broken you even if you’d read all the ‘how to move on’ manuals the literary world had ever produced.

So you obeyed his beckoning hand and sat down. 

“Thought you’d be up to something much more exciting on your one day off.”

You smiled wryly. “This is exciting. I haven’t had coffee that wasn’t made out of an ancient breakroom pot or a hotel carafe in months.”

Hotch chuckled. “I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake by coming here. Breakroom coffee is going to be impossible to tolerate now.”

“That good, huh?”

“Better. Try it.”

His eyes on you, you took a sip of your latte, and swallowed the most delicious concoction you’ve ever tasted in your life.

“Holy shit.”

“Indeed,” Hotch confirmed, ignoring your vulgarity. “I’ve been coming here before work for years.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I impose on your hangout,” you laughed. “I haven’t tried many coffee shops around here, but I imagine this is hard to beat.”

“Not at all. But just know - this is my table.”

You grinned. “Understood.”

You still went on that walk. Still read that book. Still spent the day trying to think about anything else but the softness of that moment - you and Hotch sipping lattes, bathed in the light of the early morning sun.

But on Thursday, the next day, bright and early, you found yourself at that coffee shop again. This time, you took a seat at the table adjacent to his. He looked up and smiled.

“Glad you heeded my advice.”

You smiled back and gestured to the heaping pile of files in front of him. “Not like there’d be much room for me anyways.”

You finished your coffees in relative silence and left at the same time for the office.

Friday, you learned Hotch’s coffee order: flat white with an extra shot of espresso. 

Saturday, you happened to arrive before he did, so you ordered his drink and set it on his table. Ten minutes passed and you thought he wasn’t going to show up, but he soon bustled in looking frantic. You waved him over, and he smiled when he saw the coffee waiting for him.

“Sorry, got stuck on a phone call,” he apologized. Like you were expecting him. Like this was something you guys did now.

You supposed it was.

Sunday, you got called for a case before you even made it to the coffee shop. You sat down in the conference room at 6 am, groggy as all hell. Hotch entered after you and handed you a mug, saying nothing before moving to address the team.

There was a small sticky note attached to the mug that read, “It’s no cinnamon spice latte, but it’s caffeine just the same.”

You fought to keep a grin from splitting your face, and ignored the team’s knowing smirks.

The case was in a small town in Colorado. The motel the team was staying in was less than ideal because of the location - bare bones, broken heaters, probably had the same bedsheets since its opening over 50 years ago. There was a small coffee pot in your room, and after you arrived Sunday evening, you walked down the street to the small convenience store and bought a bag of ground coffee.

When you handed him the cup Monday morning, he looked at it like it was salvation itself. Which, judging by the dark circles under his eyes, it may well have been.

“Long night?” you asked, loading into the back of the SUV. 

“Always,” he responded from the front seat. He took a sip of the coffee. “I don’t mean to offend, but this is terrible.”

You gasped in mock indignation. “I’ll have you know that is genuine Folgers pre-ground gas station coffee.”

“It tastes like it was made in a toilet,” he grumbled. He took another sip and smirked at you in the rearview mirror.

You’d long stopped trying to get over him.

 After the case in Colorado, the team was given a merciful break from the rapid-fire calls they’d been caught up in the last few months. 

You and Hotch continued your pre-work ritual, showing up to the coffee shop earlier and earlier each day. For you, it was a conscious attempt to spend more time with him. He didn’t acknowledge the extra 20 minutes that had worked its way into the morning routine, but you could only hope his intentions were the same.

One particularly chilly fall day, you burst in the door 10 minutes later than your unofficial meeting time. Hotch shot you a patented raised eyebrow as you unwrapped your scarf and took your seat. 

“Overslept?”

“No,” you retorted, “I was trying to make breakfast and my stove stopped working. Again. Maintenance can’t come fix it for two days.”

“Did you eat?” he asked.

“No, I was just gonna grab a muffin or something here.”

He nodded and went back to his laptop.

The next day, you sat down to a metal thermos on your table.

“What’s this?” you asked him.

“Oatmeal,” he responded without looking up. “You said your stove was broken.”

You opened the thermos to a puff of brown sugar-scented steam and the feeling that your heart was going to burst out of your chest.

“Thank you,” you whispered, afraid your voice would crack if you spoke any louder.

He looked over at you with an expression softer than you’d ever seen him wear. “You’re welcome.”

 A week later, you’d miraculously worked your way through the backed-up deluge of paperwork from the last few cases, and after clicking through the morning’s emails, you slammed your laptop shut.

“We should go for a walk,” you said to Hotch, who somehow still had a stack of files in front of him that was threatening to surpass the table’s weight capacity. 

“A walk?” Hotch asked, looking at the aforementioned files as if he were afraid they’d hear him considering the idea of a break.

“Yeah,” you responded. “Come on. It’s so pretty outside, and it’s gonna be too cold soon. Besides, we’re more caught up with work than we have been in months.”

“Speak for yourself,” he quipped, but he packed his briefcase just the same.

It really was beautiful outside. As soon as you stepped out the door, a gust of wind sent red and orange leaves skittering across the sidewalk at your feet. You wrapped your scarf tighter around your neck and motioned to the park across the street.

“Want to walk through the park?”

Hotch shrugged, a noncommittal ‘yes’, and followed you.

The park was sprawling, packed with massive trees in the midst of displaying their autumnal colors. Despite the early hour, there were joggers and dog-walkers populating the dirt path that meandered through. You strolled side by side, making idle chat about the weather and the holidays coming up, until you came to a bench set beside a pond in a small grove. Hotch took a seat and you followed his lead.

Reclining your head against the back of the bench, you exhaled. “This is the closest I’ve come to being out in nature in forever. I need to do this more often.”

Hotch murmured his agreement. “I’d apologize for the lack of free time, but I’m afraid it only gets worse.”

“When you officially join the team, you mean?”

“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Assuming that’s something you’re interested in.”

“Of  course I am,” you said, “but I didn’t think it was really up to me.”

“It’s not - I give the final recommendation.”

“Better start buying you more coffees then,” you teased, looking over at him.

“Unfortunately, as Unit Chief, I have a responsibility not to accept bribery.” He smiled back.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You studied his face - the stern curve of his brow, the carved structure of his jaw, the stress lines set in from decades of sleepless nights and unspeakable losses. Despite the increasing time you’d been spending in close proximity, you were mesmerized, as always, by the stormy intensity of his eyes meeting yours. You were close enough to smell his cologne, and you were reminded of the night in his apartment when he told you about his family. If you thought you’d fallen for him then, it was nothing compared to how you felt now, after starting each morning sitting beside him in the quiet peace of that downtown coffee shop.

“We should get going,” he murmured, not checking his watch, not shifting his gaze from yours. You nodded, not fully comprehending his words, feeling dazed at his nearness.

It was impossible to tell who made the first, imperceptible shift. All you knew is you scarcely had time to think before his hand was on your jaw, cradling the back of your head, bringing you to him. His mouth met yours and you closed your eyes instinctively, melting into his warm body beside you, fisting the front of his jacket in your hands.

You couldn’t remember ever having been kissed so decisively before. His fingers gripped into the base of your skull, his forehead nearly pressed against yours, and despite the chastity of your closed mouths, you whimpered into his. He stiffened at the sound and pulled back, still holding you, inches away.

You saw the shift in his eyes before he moved. It was as if he consciously closed some gate, walling himself off. His pupils, blown, started to retract to their normal size, frown returned, hand drew back. You watched, heart still racing, unable to speak as he turned to grab the briefcase sitting at his feet. Only then did he look back at you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and if his low voice was meant to betray any hint of emotion, you didn’t hear it. 

He stood, walked around the back of the bench towards the path, and paused.

“I’ll see you at the office.”

You were too shell-shocked to reply.

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner #Criminal Minds #standards of performance #hotch #hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner imagine #thomas gibson #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #hotchner #spencer reid #mgg #david rossi #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #derek morgan #fanfiction #writing #ao3

[bellisperennis0]

Heartbreak - Alternate Ending

Word count: 1,607

A/N: Apparently no one likes a heartbroken Angel, so here’s a requested alternate ending. Alternate is below in bold. Breathe easy; Angel’s heart is whole and well! Thank you for reading and for the request. GIF credit to owner, found off Google.

Warning: Language

Original: Here

 ----------------------------

Screaming Angel’s name like a mantra, the reality of what was happening and what you have done hits you like a freight train. “Fuck-fuck-fuck” you shove the man on top of you off. “What’s wrong baby doll?” the man asks as you continue to curse yourself and scramble to collect your clothes scattered all across the hotel room. “Thought we were having a good time?” you can just hear the smug smirk on his face, making you cringe. “How can I be so fucking stupid? FUCK!!” you yell as flashbacks of the night’s events that lead to this moment flood you. “And with you of all people”

You were attending a work party at a fancy upscale hotel in a town over from Santo Padre. Angel rarely attended such work soiree, so going solo wasn’t such a big deal. You had finally admitted to Angel this morning that you had spent the last month in a half working alongside your ex-boyfriend, and that he was going to be attending said party, since both companies had merged and were now working as one. This news led to a heated argument between the two of you. As much as you kept reassuring Angel that that chapter in your life was done and over with and meant nothing, Angel couldn’t help his insecurities of getting the better of him, closing you off once again. After that Angel was adamant on attending this work party with you, but unfortunately for Angel, Bishop had called in the middle of your heated argument and told him he was needed on this run to Nevada that same night.

The last you seen or heard from Angel was when he was walking out the front door after the call from Bishop. No kiss or hug goodbye, he just simply said you two would continue this conversation once he returned. You had text him the second you arrived at the hotel later that day, telling him you arrived safely, you loved him and you will see him the next day.

Now standing in the middle of your hotel room, clutching your pile of clothes to your chest, you stared at your ex, Adam. “Oh come on baby doll, don’t act like you didn’t want this as much as I did.” He says with a smirk on his face. “all that flirting, the way you were looking at me, the way your hips were grinding into mine, you weren’t acting like you had a man waiting at home for you” you cringed as he spoke, with the alcohol flowing, you allowed those unsettled feelings you still had for him take control, allowed him to sweet talk you, after two years he still knew how to sweep you off your goddamn feet.

Wanting nothing more than to get as far away from the situation as you could, you decided to make the almost two hour drive back home to Santo Padre. Angel wasn’t due back from his run till late afternoon the following day. All you wanted to do was get home, soak in a nice warm bath, scrub the entire night’s events off you and figure out how you were going to tell Angel. God, how could you do this to Angel?

As you walked through the front door you were greeted by a voice that quickly took you out of your daze. “Hay baby, home already?” you heard Angel say. Shit, he’s back from his run early. You were so completely in your thoughts you totally didn’t see Angel’s bike parked in the driveway when you had pulled up. You let out a low “fuck” to yourself, but it didn’t go unheard by Angel. He scrunches his face as he notices you looking everywhere, but at him. “You alright, mi alma?” he asks as he gets up from his spot on the sofa and makes his way to you, still standing there in the entry way. Once he is close enough to you he sees the tears streaming down your face. “Hay, hay, what’s wrong baby? What happened?” he quickly engulfs you in his arms as you now sob uncontrollably. Guiding you into the living room, he tries to get you to sit, but you just cling tighter to his shirt. “Dulce, you have to talk to me, baby. What’s wrong?” he asks once again. “I’m so sorry Angel. I’m so sorry” you say as you try to cling to him even more. He softly giggles. “Is this about this morning? Babe, there isn’t anything to be sorry for, nor cry over. Not like it was our first argument.” He softly strokes his hand up and down your back, trying to soothe you.

You finally pull away from him, biting your lower lip, tears still streaming down your face, “there’s something I need to tell you, Angel.” You whisper as you stare down at your feet, you can sense how Angel tenses at your words. “Look at me y/n” he says and you cringe at the use of your name. Rarely has Angel called you by your name in the two years you were together. “Look at me!” he says again with more intensity then the first time. Your gaze slowly moves from your feet up to meet his dark intense orbs staring back down at you. You can see all the emotions flash through him as he begins to process what you are trying to say. “Please tell me you are not trying to say what I think you are. Please, mi dulce, don’t!” he whispers and you can hear the heartbreak in his voice. Covering your mouth with your hands as you let out a sob, confirming his fears. “GOD DAMMIT!” he yells moving away from you. “I’m so sorry…I don’t know what happened. Angel, please!” you cry out to him. “I knew when I saw his pretty boy face around town he was going to be trouble. How long y/n, how long has this been going on?” he asks with his back still to you. “Just tonight…I promise you Angel, I – I don’t know what happened, one thing led to another…” “So you did fuck him?” Angel cuts you off, finally turning to face you, the hurt evident all over his face. You couldn’t look at him. “I need to hear you say it” he says as he leans back against the dining room table, knuckles white from his tight grip. “Angel please, I’m sorry. It meant…”

“Say it!” he yells. His intense voice jolts you awake, clutching your chest as you try to steady your breathing. “Say it, bro! I am just better then you. Just admit it!” You can hear Angel yelling from down the hall. Laying there for a second you try to gather yourself, processing what the hell was happening.

Quietly getting up you make your way down the hall to where you can hear Angel. Rounding the corner to the living room you find Angel sitting in the middle of the room, headset on, playing his video game. “It was just one hell of a nightmare,” you say to yourself, tears welling in your eyes as relieve washes over you.

Walking up to where Angel was sitting, you wrap your arms around his neck, hand on his chest, peppering his neck in kisses. His hand snakes around and is placed gently on the back of your head. “Hey baby.” He says softly, pausing his game and taking off his headset. He grabs your hand, pulling you around the chair to straddle his lap. “You okay, Mi vida” he asks pulling you in for a tight embrace, stroking your back gently. “I just had a really bad dream, is all.” You say pulling away to look at him. “Little man giving you nightmares again?” he asks as he places his hand on your 7 month baby bump. Looking down and rubbing your hands along your swollen belly as well, you slightly smile, “yeah, he’s definitely at it again.” Angel places a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks you, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs. You then proceed to tell him all about the dream, detail by detail. “Ugh, How dare you, mi dulce.” He mocks offense. You lightly smack him on his chest. “Stop! It was horrible I hated it.” He grabs your face, peppering you in kisses. “I know you would never do that to me, mi alma.” He says reassuring you. “I know, it just felt so real and vivid.”

“Why don’t you go take a bath and relax a little?” Angel suggests “Pop and EZ should be here in about an hour for dinner” he continued. “That actually sounds amazing.” The thought of soaking in a warm bath already relaxing you. Stroking the back of Angel’s neck you pull him in for a passionate kiss. Once Angel begins to get handsy and desperate, you break the kiss. “Mmm, don’t start something you can’t finish, Ignacio.” you tease. “Oh, mi vida you and I both know I always finish what I start.” He chuckles as he gives your ass a tight squeeze. “Clearly” you say rolling your eyes, looking down at your belly, both of you laughing. “Hey” Angel says gently to get your attention. “Yeah?” you look up at him, you couldn’t help but smile as Angel stares at you adoringly. “Have I told you I loved you?” he asks. “Hm, maybe once or twice.” You say giggling. “I love you, mi vida.” He tells you. “Te amo, mi amor.” You say giving him another passionate kiss.  

#angel reyes x reader #angel reyes #mayans mc #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #angel reyes imagine #alternate ending

[ft-dads-au]

Spellbound - Chapter 3

A collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​

AO3 | Prev: Ch 2

Chapter 3

October 14, 2012

Ever since Sting had accepted his impulsive invitation to study for the upcoming midterms at his house, Rogue had felt like time had slowed to a crawl. Not even his gig in Clover the previous evening had done anything to curb that feeling. And now that the time had finally come, all his excitement seemed to have turned into an insecurity he wasn’t familiar with. 

He knew that most of their time together would be spent studying for exams, but he couldn’t help the hope that something more might develop in the moments in between. It certainly didn’t hurt to make an effort. But what if his neatness drove Sting crazy? Or he managed to insult him somehow? Or Gods, what if he’d been reading the signals all wrong, and he ended up throwing himself at the guy only to find he wasn’t interested? He’d had plenty of chances to kiss him and had taken exactly zero of them.

He’d worked himself up the whole drive down to the University.

By the time Sting got into the car, Rogue was a tangle of nerves. They spent the ride home discussing which midterms they would be studying for and agreeing to relax for the remainder of the day before they got started. While the thought of starting off their week together with a lazy Sunday was precisely the type of thing he’d been hoping for, it also put pressure on him to have everything go right.

“Thanks again for letting me stay,” Sting huffed as he carried his duffel bag and oversized, filled to the brim backpack into the house, refusing Rogue’s offer to help.

“Yeah, no problem,” Rogue tossed his keys on the kitchen counter. Feeling suddenly shy and not wanting to show it, he led Sting to Gray’s old room so he could drop off his stuff.

Sting followed him, dumping his bags unceremoniously on the bed and looking around with curious eyes. “That’s your brother, right?” Sting asked, pointing at a family picture that was hanging on the wall. “I feel like I’ve seen him before.”

“You probably have. He’s been working as a model for a few years now.”

“He looks a lot like your dad,” Sting remarked before shifting his scrutiny to the collection of medals and trophies Gray had accumulated since he’d first started playing hockey.

“How about you? Do you have any siblings?” Rogue asked, scrambling for any conversation topic that might ease him out of his timidity.

“Nah, it’s just me. So, do you play too?” Sting eyed him with interest.

“For fun, but you won’t find any trophies in my room. That was Gray’s thing.” Rogue chuckled, “I just like to skate.”

When he was younger, he’d considered giving competitive figure skating a go. His dad had even supported the idea, spending hours building a rink in the backyard together with him and Gray so he wouldn’t have to drive them to the local one as often. It had been grueling work to get the hang of the moves, and while Rogue had been good at it, he’d eventually discovered things he loved more.

“I do have a nice keepsake from my hockey days, though,” he grinned, rubbing his finger over the scar that crossed the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, wow! That must have hurt,” Sting moved closer to examine his nose, wrapping him in the smell of that enticing cologne of which Rogue still hadn’t discovered the name. “Yeah...” Rogue answered absently, paying more attention to the way Sting’s lips moved when he spoke than he did to the words that came out. They were temptingly close. All he had to do was lean over and kiss them, but just when he’d been about to close the remaining gap between them, Sting had already moved away.

“Hey, you got anything to eat around here?” Sting asked, leaving Rogue to stare at him in confusion.

“Oh, right,” he blinked himself back to reality, “I put off grocery shopping until you got here, wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

“Oh, that’s great! I’ve only been to the convenience store near the dorm. I can’t wait to see what a big Magnolian grocery store has to offer!”

“Well, at least one of us is excited,” Rogue muttered, amused at fielding question after question on a place he usually tried to avoid. It gave him an idea, though. That adage about the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach could work to his advantage here.

True, he couldn’t cook worth a damn, but surely there must be something he could pull off to impress Sting. 0-0

The trip to the grocery store was certainly memorable. Sting had walked through every single aisle, oohing and aahing over items he’d never tried and piling them into their cart. Rogue had finally given up and gotten his own cart, not finding it in his heart to dampen Sting’s enthusiasm.

They’d also gotten plenty of looks from other shoppers, which Rogue had done his best to ignore. He hadn’t come up with any great ideas for dinner. Everything he’d considered seemed so involved. That was until he walked past the lobster tank and remembered how disappointed Sting had been when he hadn’t gotten to eat ”Sheldon” at that seafood restaurant.

He was pretty sure you just chucked the things into a pot of boiling water. Sounded easy enough to him. Feeling pleased with his choice, he studied the tank’s contents, searching for the two largest lobsters he could find, knowing both of them ate a lot.

Once he’d identified the ones he wanted, he went off in search of an employee.

0-0

Rogue had managed to keep the contents of the cooler a secret. It wasn’t all that difficult considering the amount of bags in the trunk. He was more concerned about where they were going to store all the food they’d bought. At least it was cold enough that they could leave the drinks out on the porch.

Not that he should have worried, Sting kept picking items out of the bags and shoving them in his mouth, making pleased noises that were driving Rogue crazy.

“Mhmmmmmm, these are amazing! Want some?” Sting waved a bag of onion-flavored rings under his nose.

Rogue grabbed a couple, realizing he hadn’t had them for years. “Oh man, I used to love these. I didn’t know they still made them.”

Sting finally noticed the cooler when it moved slightly from its perch on the counter. “What’s in there?”

“Oh, that?” Rogue replied evenly, feigning indifference, “Just something I picked up. I thought I might try cooking dinner tonight.”

Sting arched an eyebrow and promptly removed the lid, peering in at the contents. “You got lobsters?”

“Yeah, it seemed like you liked them,” Rogue shrugged, finding spots for the rest of the groceries.

“I do! My mom makes really good Lobster Thermidor.”

Well, fuck. What the hell was lobster...whatever Sting said? It sounded a lot fancier than Rogue’s idea of boiling the shits like a pack of instant-ramen, not to mention the fact that he’d set himself up to compete against Sting’s mother’s cooking. He didn’t know a thing about the woman, but he’d bet his life that she was a better cook than he was.

“Those are big fellas. Oh, wait,” Sting had picked up one of the lobsters to examine it, “I think this one might be a Sheila.”

“How can you tell?”

“Oh, uhm,” Sting chuckled, sounding embarrassed, “when I was younger, I wanted to be a marine biologist. My parents would take me to the aquarium whenever they could, and I learned a lot. Pretty lame, huh?”

“Not at all. I mean, if you want to talk lame, I wanted to be a figure skater at one point,” he confessed, encouraged by Sting sharing that with him. “So which one's Sheldon and which one's Sheila?”

Rogue listened with interest as Sting pointed at the tails’ subtle differences and revealed what they meant. Once the explanation was over, Sting glanced at the pot that sat on the stove.

“You’re going to need a larger pot to boil these.”

“Right.” Challenge number one, where the heck did his mom keep the big pots? Rogue opened the cabinets, searching for anything bigger than the one he used to boil pasta.

“I’ll be right back,” he went to the basement, remembering his mother sometimes sent him there to find appliances she didn’t use all the time, and heaving a sigh of relief when he saw a pot big enough to bathe in. Okay, maybe not quite that big, but it should be enough for two lobsters.

And while he was down there, he took the opportunity to do a quick google search on how to cook lobster thermostat. Thermidor. Whatever. It turned out that it would involve cooking as well as broiling, which was even worse than he’d imagined, and the long list of ingredients wasn’t exactly reassuring either. But it was that list that turned out to be his saving grace, as he was sure he didn’t have everything on it. Oh no, such a shame, he smirked to himself as he continued to look for a less intimidating lobster recipe.

“Everything okay down there?”

Crap!

“Yeah, found one,” Rogue called out, putting his phone away and lugging his discovery up the stairs.

He’d washed the pot, filling it with water and as much salt as he dared, and then setting it on the stove to boil. They’d talked about watching a movie after dinner, and Sting had left him in the kitchen while he’d gone to Gray’s room, determined to set up his work area, as he called it, for the next day.

And now, Rogue found himself facing his next challenge. Once the water had come to a rolling boil, he’d grabbed one of the lobsters, ready to plunge it into the pot, when he’d made one fatal mistake. He’d looked into its eyes.

No matter how much he told himself that the thing wasn’t intelligent, he just couldn’t find it in himself to kill it. And as he stared into the eyes of the crustacean he’d condemned to death, Rogue couldn’t help but think of how much simpler his life had been before he’d decided he wanted something more from his relationships.

“What are you doing?”

There was no mistaking the amusement in Sting’s voice, and it both irritated and humiliated him. It had been his bright idea to do this, and he couldn’t even go through with it.

‘“It was staring at me,” he murmured.

Sting chuckled but took pity on him, “Here, I’ll do it.”

He grabbed the lobster and asked for some scissors. He snipped the bands off its claws and lowered it into the pot carefully, repeating the procedure with the second one before placing the lid on the pot. There was an awful noise that followed, making it sound like the lobsters were screaming.

Rogue shuddered.

“Relax, it’s not what it sounds like,” Sting assured him, “Lobsters don’t have lungs or even vocal cords. It’s just air escaping through their shells.” “Whatever. The damn things better taste good,” Rogue pouted, still displeased by the way his plan was failing so far. But hey, the lobsters were boiling away now, and he’d found a cooking time table online, so there wasn’t much that could go wrong from here. “I guess that depends on the sauce or seasoning.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. His face must have mirrored his frustration because once again, he heard the sound of Sting’s laughter. “It doesn’t have to be anything complicated. Oh, actually! We got mac and cheese, right?”

“Mac and cheese? With lobster?”

“Yeah! My mom used to make that for me when I was little. Well, she made it from scratch,” Sting admitted, “but this will be good too!”

By this point, Rogue just wanted to be done with the whole thing, so the idea of at least being able to make something he knew he couldn’t fuck up cheered him immensely. He walked over to the pantry and moved stuff around until he’d found the family size box of mac and cheese they’d bought and set about preparing it.

The timer went off, and he watched as Sting used tongs to take out the lobsters, which had turned a promising shade of bright red. He lay them on a cutting board and let them sit while he searched for a knife.

Rogue turned away as the sounds of Sting removing the meat from the shell revolted him. He busied himself with his task, trying not to think about what was happening.

“Do I have to do anything differently?”

“Nope, just let me know when it’s ready.”

Sting walked to the porch, grabbed two beers, opened them, and handed one over to Rogue, that amused smirk never far from his face. Once the mac and cheese was done, all they had to do was add the lobster meat, top it off with some breadcrumbs, and put it in the oven for a few minutes. In the meantime, Rogue began the process of cleaning the kitchen, pulling a face as he dumped the hollowed out shells in the trash bin and wiped the lobster juices off the counter. Although it wasn’t all that fancy, the dish that came out looked better than any of Rogue’s previous attempts to cook his own food. Not that he felt he had much to be proud of, as he’d mostly just boiled water and made instant mac and cheese, but cooking was definitely a lot less frustrating when he didn’t have to do it alone. Maybe they could cook together again sometime this week, preferably with food that couldn’t scream, move or stare at him. They settled on the couch, and while Rogue was browsing through Netflix, looking for a movie they could watch, he could tell by the moaning sounds that Sting had already dug into his food. “It’s good!” he said with his mouth still half full, “but you know what the best part is?” “Hm?” Rogue took a hesitant first bite, and he had to agree it did taste a lot better than he’d expected. “It’s that from now on, every time I eat lobster, I’ll remember your look of horror.” Sting dissolved into giggles, “I should have taken a picture!”

Rogue tried to glare, but now that it was over, he found himself laughing along. “Alright, but I hope you got a good look cause I am never doing that again. Next time we do this, it’ll be at a restaurant.”

“Deal, as long as we stop at the tank first,” Sting laughed at his pout, and it was arguably the best sound Rogue had ever heard.

He sat back, having found a movie they were both interested in, and feeling more relaxed than he had all day. The realization that Sting hadn’t been against the idea of a next time boosted his confidence enough to let him enjoy the rest of the night and to set him thinking of what he might try next.

A/N: 2020 was a really busy year for us. We participated in a lot of events and as fun as that was we've decided to mostly step away from that for this year. Unfortunately trying to match event prompts kept us from moving forward on stories we'd been planning on for months and we'd like to try setting our own schedule for now. 

We've started the year out with a Works in Progress month, in the hopes that we can finish or move along some of our open multis, or one-shots we started but never finished. It will also allow us to work on some of the individual projects we've been ignoring for too long. 

We've decided to expand on this story a bit more than we'd originally planned so there will be a few more chapters than we'd anticipated. We hope you enjoy this one!

#fairy tail #ftdadsau #stingue #update #fics

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.24.prt.1

“What the fuck is going on with you this morning?”

“Nice to see you too”

Resting with his head against the glass wall of the shower, Lance wasn’t having a fun time. He’d thrown up, and was now basking in the revolting after taste and burning of his throat and sinuses. Hunk had had the best of intentions, but the flavours had been too strong and he was too filled with guilt to keep his liquid second breakfast down

“Are you sick? Do I need to call Coran?”

“My senses are a little too hyped. Blood makes it worse, so I’m super ramped up. It’s fine”

“You threw up”

“Food’s gotta come out some way”

“Ew”

Lance nodded, yep, being a vampire was glorious

“It’s fine”

“It’s not fine. Do you throw up every time?”

“Nah... and normally I don’t have an audience to my embarrassing moments”

Lance hoped Keith would take the hint and leave

“You better get your shit together, Hunk and Pidge are coming back later”

“I know, I heard. Hunk’s gonna he even more worried...”

“That’s his problem, not mine. Mine’s a vampire who’s clearly not okay, but insists on being a dick about it”

“I’m sorry?”

“You should be. What’s going on with you, is it just your senses? Because you look like total shit right now”

“Wow. Way to make a man feel better about himself”

“God! You’re impossible. Why can’t you just talk to me?”

“I already am”

Lance really didn’t want to talk. He wanted to find Blue and go back to bed. Keith wasn’t having it. Flushing the toilet, the hunter put the lid down and decided he needed to have one of those talks where they were both sitting. Something he sooooo wasn’t in the mood for

“You know what I mean”

“What do you want me to say? I had a really messed up dream and now I feel like fucking shit because my stupid brain doesn’t forget things?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t fucking know how to comfort people”

“I noticed”

“Fuck you. I’m trying”

Lance muttered under his breath

“Very”

“What was that?”

Sighing to himself, he raised his head to look at Keith

“Nothing. Look, I appreciate you covering for me. I don’t know why you did, but thanks”

“You could have just said that from the start”

“And you could have left me to vomit in peace...”

“You’re not okay. If you’re not okay, I don’t know what to do. Coran said you were changing, I don’t know what’s normal anymore. I’m stuck here and I don’t know why. And I don’t know why you keep doing stupid things. Why didn’t you feed before Hunk and Pidge got here?”

“Didn’t have time. Barely got out the shower and Hunk was calling to say they were coming over”

“So you weren’t trying to starve yourself?”

How stupid did Keith think he was? He knew he had to keep his hunger under control. He’d fed too much too fast. He should have stuck to his normal third of a bag. Too much blood had amplified the feeling of being alive. Stroked his ego and now he was dealing with his own stupidity. He hated the hunger. He hated not being able to keep down Hunk’s smoothie. Lance swore there were still pieces of kale and spinach stuck in his teeth

“No... Did Hunk make you a smoothie?”

“Nope. He tried to...”

“You’re lucky... are you going to be highly offended if I go back to bed?”

“Depends, are you going to get all douchey if you don’t?”

“Probably?”

“Then go back to bed. This time, try to wake up without looking like something Blue threw up”

Lance managed a weak chuckle. Blue had thrown up some spectacularly gross stuff in her lifetime. Keith probably meant hairballs, but he hadn’t experienced thrown up body parts before, or entrails in his sheets

“Blue is princess. Blue is perfection. She’s a tiny little murder cupcake of perfection”

“Does everything always have to come back to a comparison with bread items?”

“What do you mean?”

“You called Pidge an anger muffin before...”

“And you’re an anger loaf. You’re too fucking tall and grizzled to be a muffin”

“I’m not an “anger loaf”... what even is an “anger loaf”?”

Lance groaned

“I just told you, you’re too big to a be a muffin. Are you really gonna sit there and mock the guy on the floor?”

“If it gets the guy on the floor to talk to me”

“I thought we agreed I need a nap”

Keith sighed at him. Lance flinched when the hunter moved his hand, Keith’s brow raising in confusion

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You flinched”

“I thought you were going to punch me”

Keith rolled his eyes at him

“Paranoid much?”

“Always. Besides, it’s not paranoia when people are out to get you?”

“And who’s going to get your undead arse when we’re stuck out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere?”

“You?”

“Dream on. Can you get up off the floor now?”

But the floor was good. Moving seemed like effort... even if he did get to spend a few hours hiding from Keith

“I suppose”

“Good. You know, you’re worse than a kid”

“Yep. I grew upwards on the outside and not on the inside”

“I can tell. Either that or you were dropped on your head a lot as a child”

Jesus. Keith was snarky... but it was refreshing. Having him worried about him was too weird, but having him insult him felt strangely normal. Good, even. Like Keith didn’t actually worry about him, and that was how it was meant to be

“Probably. Probably dropped myself on my head too...”

“I can imagine”

Lance faked offence before cracking up into laughter. Poor Keith looked completely lost

“What’s wrong with you, now?”

“Nothing, mullet. Give me a sec to clean up, then I’m off for a nap. What are you going to do?”

“Play with my camera... there’s not a whole lot around here to do”

“That’s why I like it... Keith, you know, I know you’re the biggest dumbarse I’ve ever met, but I’m starting to think you’re actually not to terrible”

Keith shifted, uncomfortable but in kind of a good way. His heart was racing for no reason, but Lance could see a smile on those lips of his. Keith was actually kind of pretty when he smiled... pretty lame, yeah, lame...

“And you’re not too horrific for an undead thing”

*

Lance tried and failed at the napping. Pulling Blue into his hold, he groomed her thick black fur as she purred. She was a total slut for grooming. Bath’s not so much, but grooming turned her into a pile of purring goo. Planting kisses on the top of Blue’s head, she nudged into his lips

“No more grooming for you. I want cuddles”

Lance had given napping a genuine shot, only for his nose to decide it needed to be focused on Keith’s vanillary scent from the body wash in the guest bathroom. Keith hadn’t said anything about the options in there, and the hunter didn’t need to know Lance had wondered if he should buy him something more “manly”. Not being bugged by Keith to train felt weird. Lance loathe to admit he kind of missed it. Keith had a lot of drive, fuelled by the anger he hadn’t worked through. Without anything to channel that anger into Keith was left to potter around in a home that wasn’t his. It kind of felt like Lance was torturing Keith, a reversal of roles from when Keith kept insisting he was a vampire. Lance very nearly missed that as well. Yes, he’d been confident that he hadn’t turned Keith, but having Coran confirm it had taken a weight off Keith’s shoulders. He wasn’t Adam. He was lying when he said he was human... not that Lance had the full picture, and he wasn’t sure that Shiro’s version of things quite lined up with Keith’s. Keith must have been terrified he really was turned, trauma did strange things to the mind. He must have been terrified that Shiro was going to have to watch him change, then have to kill him like Adam had had to be killed. It all would have been especially hard on Adam, assuming he was a hunter, he knew just how vile vampires could be. Yeah, he should probably go check on Keith and make sure he was as okay as he was pretending to be.

A quick hunt through the house proved Keith wasn’t inside. Heading out the back of the property, he found Keith working out on his own. Damn if his dream didn’t come back to haunt him. Keith was focused, sweat running from his hair, yet totally in his element. For Keith, his job really was his life. He’d spent years earning those muscles in combat, rather than exercise machines alone. Thanks to his memory, Lance knew how to throw down, but Keith lived it. He lived to hunt the things they should all fear... Something Lance had once entertained the idea of, but knew his Mami wouldn’t approve at all. Plus, he didn’t want to end up on Coran’s disposal list if he lost control and lost the last of his humanity in the process.

Crossing the back lawn, Lance sat himself down a few metres away from Keith. The hunter so in the zone that he hadn’t noticed. Lance managed a good 10 minutes before Keith finally did, the hunter’s eyes widening a fraction as Lance cocked his head

“I didn’t mean to ruin your concentration”

“I didn’t notice you come out”

“I noticed. I was wondering where you were”

“I thought you were napping. Feeling any better?”

Nope. Because fuck if he hadn’t been distracted by the way Keith’s shirt was riding up

“Yeah, a bit”

Walking over, Keith flopped down next to him

“You don’t have to stop. I can go if I’m making you uncomfortable”

“You’re the one who looks uncomfortable”

That’s because he was. He could smell the sweat on Keith’s skin, a feeling welling up inside him. He wanted to reach out and brush Keith’s fringe back and he didn’t know why

“It’s nothing. You know, I almost miss you trying to kick my arse”

Keith snorted at him as he plucked up a stray blade of grass

“A few more lessons and I would have had you”

“Dream on”

“Is that you way of saying you’ve been holding back?”

“A bit. It’s hard to live as a human when you have way too much strength”

“Is that why you wear glasses? Don’t they get in the way?”

Lance took his glasses off, holding them out towards Keith

“We’ve talked about it before, but yeah. I see too much and I’ve seen too much as it is”

Keith seemed surprised as he took Lance’s glasses, holding them up to peer through them, making a face as he did

“These are horrible”

“It helps make the world smaller so I can focus”

“I’ve never really thought about what vampires must go through”

Keith handed his glasses back, Lance surprising himself by placing them down beside him

“Don’t go feeling sorry for vampires, ever. You do that and you’re dead”

“You don’t need to tell me that”

“I know you know the risks, but it’d really suck if something happened to you, you know”

Punching his arm, Keith looked mortified at the gesture, Lance unable to not snort in laughter

“Shut up”

“I don’t know why I did that”

“Because you secretly like me too much. It’s strange. I’ve never had anyone live with me before, other than Mami. I keep wondering if I’m doing anything wrong. If I’ve made you hate me. Or hurt your feelings... I’ve barely known you two weeks and I keep having to tell myself I’m not your friend. Maybe this was what Coran meant by our quintessence complimenting each other?”

Keith plucked up another blade of grass

“I don’t think I understand what quintessence is. Is it a fae term?”

Fae... Coran must be a fae. Lance hadn’t thought to ask and then it seemed too late too

“I’ve heard it mentioned between Allura and Coran before. It’s like the stuff inside us. That spark of life that connects all life. I think faes can manipulate quintessence”

“Like the way they constantly say “you’re safe” or “you’re in a safe place”?”

“That might be more to do with me...”

He’d been so scared as kid. Waking up in a strange place, scared of everything and anything. Coran had told him since he’d met him, and every time they met, that he was safe there

“Oh... I’m sorry”

“Nah, don’t be. You didn’t turn me”

“But still...”

“I have the feeling we both had kind of crappy childhoods”

Keith nodded, Lance noting the pain in the hunter’s eyes, he didn’t like it

“But look at us now! A vampire sitting in the sun, and a hunter who doesn’t know how to relax”

Keith dropped his head, Lance expecting to be scolded for “doing that” again

“I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

Keith raised his head

“I don’t know. I’ve never lived with anyone other Shiro and Adam, not for years. You say a lot of things I hate, but now we’re getting on and it’s weird”

Lance gaped, before smiling

“I know right. I don’t know what to do when you ask me if I’m okay. I’m like, waiting for you to yell at me or try to kill me again, and then you don’t and I’m like why not?”

“I keep thinking you’re going to kill me in my sleep, and then you don’t. And you keep doing weird things that make me feel weird. You didn’t have to go out of your way. You didn’t have to buy lactose free milk”

“I didn’t want to make you sick. You might be a total dick, but that’s just being cruel”

“I tried to kill you”

“You poisoned yourself”

“I yelled at you”

“You still do”

Keith shook his head with a sigh

“I don’t get it”

“I don’t get it either. I don’t get why we seem to be getting on better. You should hate me”

“I do. I mean... I still think you did something to me”

Lance’s undead heart gave a strange leap of concern

“Coran said there was nothing wrong, didn’t he? It was a clean bill of health?”

“That’s what he said, but how am I supposed to believe him when I’ve only just met him?”

“You can’t go wrong believing in Coran”

“He helps werewolves and vampires... he’s not even human”

“Exactly, he helps. If Shiro trusted him...”

“Then I should... but...”

“It’s not easy to trust when you’ve been kicked to the curb?”

Keith nodded at him

“Yeah, exactly. And Shiro’s not even here. I don’t have a target and I don’t know what to do”

“I don’t know what to do either”

“At least you have a job”

“Giving people advice for next to nothing...”

“It’s still something”

With Keith around, Lance had been pretty neglectful of work. He really should check his emails and contact his clients...

“I suppose so. It usually keeps me busy... I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not exactly a people person anymore”

Keith snorted

“I don’t think I’m in any position to judge”

“You’re alright. Pidge and Hunk wouldn’t be so gung-ho about you if you weren’t”

“I don’t get why they want to be my friend. I’ll be gone sooner rather than later”

Yeah. That was right too. Keith would be gone... a stupid prang if loneliness hit him out of the blue

“Yeah. Yeah. I suppose so... off to fight more vampires?”

“Probably. I go wherever I’m sent”

“Don’t you get scared?”

“Not really... if they’re hurting people then someone has to step up”

“Yeah. Keith, can I ask you something?”

“We’re already talking?”

Lance snorted, okay, he’d deserved that one

“Can you look up the status of vampires. Like if they’re alive or dead?”

Keith immediately frowned

“I can. I can ask Shiro, but that kind of thing usually requires permission”

Lance nodded. He’d expected that

“Okay. I was just wondering”

“You want me to find out if Nyma and Rolo are still alive?”

Just their names made Lance feel sick to his stomach. He’d wanted to ask Coran for so long, but was ashamed that he wanted to know. Shiro poking around could bring trouble... He didn’t want Keith and Shiro to be in any danger from those two

“Not if it’s going to get you into trouble... I just...”

“I can ask. Shiro’s been a Blame member longer than I have”

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s stupid really. They probably don’t think about me at all”

“It’s important to you, isn’t it?”

“They’re in the past. They’re not the kind of vampires you want to meet. I don’t want them knowing about you and Shiro”

“There’s databases for this kind of thing. The Blades take agent safety seriously”

“No. No... If I know... I’m stuck knowing, either way”

“That must be hard”

“Remembering? Humans don’t know how lucky they are. That pain you feel, it gets better with time, but... I’m already scared. I’m scared of when Blue will die. I’m scared of seeing her in any other way than alive. I’m scared that Pidge or Hunk will find out and hate me. I know... that I’m not supposed to be scared... but... Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get the better of me”

“You shouldn’t apologise so easily”

“When you get old, you feel like there’s a whole lot to apologise for. You’ll get it someday”

“No. I don’t think I will. You didn’t ask to be turned. You didn’t ask to be turning again... you should be mad”

“I’ve been a vampire for a long time now. Madness kind of fades away to acceptance”

“It shouldn’t. You were a kid”

“I was a shit of a kid. I always wanted to be liked...”

“Pfft, doesn’t every kid?”

“Probably. I don’t know. I broke my family and even after 36 years, I’m still fucking dumb”

“You’re not dumb... you’re stupid”

Keith seemed to really be searching for another word during the pause on his sentence, only for to him come up with “stupid”. The hunter’s eloquence rivalled his bullheadedness

“Geez, thanks”

“You know what I mean”

“I don’t know if I do... We should head in soon. Pidge and Hunk are going to be here shortly”

“How can you tell?”

“It’s the afternoon. With those two, it’s always best to be prepared for anything”

Keith dropped the piece grass he’d been playing with, his hands coming up to rub at his face

“I don’t know how to deal with them”

“Go take a shower and I’ll make you another coffee”

“I don’t know if coffee’s gonna help”

“Pidge would kill you for speaking such blasphemous words. According to her, coffee fixes everything”

“I’ll remember that for the day she spills coffee in her laptop”

Lance shuddered

“Don’t even joke about that. It happened in college... and fuck, I was honestly considering changing my name and moving to a new country. It’s not a sight you want to see”

“Noted. I mean, I guess I can force myself to have another coffee”

“That’s the spirit. Let’s get you inside, samurai”

“Samurai?”

Lance shrugged

“With all your martial arts and that... I mean, that looked like karate you were doing”

“Lance, samurais have swords”

#oncebittemtwicestupid #once bitten twice stupid

[matrixaffiliate]

Marcid

New Story! FFN and AO3

Harry loves time spent with the Weasley family, but he's most fond of his time with one in particular. Post Deathly Hallows Harry/Ginny one-shot.

Have a story from my life. This is how I feel after long stays with my in-laws (whether us at theirs or them at mine). My family all lives close by so we don't do more than a day with them at a time, but I'm sure I'd feel the same way if I had to have long stays with them too.

Marcid

Harry loves the Weasley's. He loves the chaos and the laughter and the constant bustle of their home. It's extraordinary and full of love and people who love him, really love him.

After the war, with Arthur and Molly getting up in age, Bill started orchestrating a week or two in the summer where the whole family returned home under the pretense of a reunion, but in actuality it was for the kids to make sure those things that the parents kept saying they would get around to actually happened.

One year it had been clearing out the attic and getting the ghoul relocated. Another year it had been overhauling the garden and orchard. Harry still chuckles at the year they replaced all the flooring in the house and restored the stairs. He's grateful he and Gin didn't have kids then.

This year wasn't nearly so ambitious, the sons restored Arthur's shed while the daughters went through the kitchen with Molly to clear out what she wasn't using anymore now that she cooked almost exclusively with magic. It was harder for Molly to be on her feet for long and they'd finally convinced her to make her wand do the heavy work.

But this year, Harry and Ginny had brought all four kids for the week, piling into Ginny's old room. And while Jamie was willing to sleep on the floor because Teddy was, Al and Lily both ended up in the bed with him and Gin every night. And after six nights of little sleep, seven days of hard work, children screaming and laughing and running, listening to the Weasley brothers arguing with each other and their father about what they should and shouldn't do to the old shed, sharing old stories and laughter late into the night after most of the kids had succumbed to sleep, and a bit of griping on everyone's part, Harry was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

They had driven from Godric's Hollow, thinking the drive would be a nice way to start and end the week. They'd been right about starting the week, but right now Harry wanted to try his hand at translocating said car and Apparating his family home.

Al was jabbering endlessly, Jamie was yelling at Al to stop talking, Teddy was telling both of them to stop arguing, Lily was crying because she was buckled in her car seat, and he and Ginny were both seething as he drove them home.

"Enough," Ginny snaps as she turns to look in the back seat. "I love you all but if you make my ears ring with your arguing and shouting any longer I'm going to Apparate myself home and leave you to fend for yourselves!"

Harry glances back to see Jamie and Al glare at each other, Lily yawn in her seat as the silence allows her to finally start to succumb to her own exhaustion, and Teddy who looks incredibly upset.

"Ted, mate, we're just exhausted," Harry pushes aside his desire to just enjoy the silence for helping his newly adolescent godson. "Being with that many people for so long is draining on us. Do you feel that way after these things? Especially now that you and Vic are old enough that you're being asked to watch all the smaller kids while the adults work?"

Teddy's indignant expression falters for a moment before he huffs. "It makes it hard to hang out with Vic when Aunt Fleur shoves all the kids at us."

"We're all tightly wound right now Teddy," Ginny's voice is tired but the edge is gone.

"I'm sorry loves," she gives the kids a small smile, "let's get home and we'll all get a good night's rest and get things back to normal for us alright?"

The boys grumble their agreement and the rest of the long drive passes quietly as Lily finally passes out and Al dozes on and off.

Pulling up the drive, Ginny takes care of getting the kids into the house and putting the pizzas in the oven while Harry unloads everything they'd hauled to the Burrow.

He finally manages to get their bags inside and enters the kitchen to see the exhaustion he feels in Gin's expression.

"Pizzas will be done in ten," she sighs and pulls the paper plates down from above the refrigerator, tossing them on the table.

"Do we let Lils sleep or wake her up to eat?" Harry resists the urge to fall into his chair, knowing he probably won't get up.

Gin groans, "I don't know."

Harry opens his mouth to speak when Lily's shrill cry carries down from her room.

He eyes his chair longingly before sighing. "I guess she's eating, I'll grab her."

Dinner is the usual chaos but it feels worse for how drained he is, and he can see it in Ginny's face that she's in the same boat. As dinner ends, the vast majority of the mess left for tomorrow, bedtime routines start. First is Lily, which leaves Harry with the boys, something he usually loves but tonight feels like a punishment somehow. He's far too eager to go read bedtime stories and kiss his little girl goodnight when Gin calls him.

Then it's Jamie and Al's turn for a bath and Harry's grateful when Gin tells him to just sit with Ted and floo Andromeda to see how her visit with her brother-in-law and his family in Germany is going. Teddy had been with her for the first week before coming to spend a few weeks with the Potter's until Andromeda returned.

The calm helps a bit, but Harry is still too eager when Gin calls that the boys are ready for him to come read the picture books they'd picked out.

Once he and Gin shut the boys' doors, they move to collect Teddy, only to find him already coming up the stairs.

"Gran told me to go to bed because I was acting like Mum used to when she was overtired."

Ginny smiles and pulls Teddy into a hug. "Harry and I are going to go to bed too, love. We'll all feel better after a full night's rest in separate rooms."

Teddy chuckles, "Yeah, Jamie usually ended up kicking me in the middle of the night."

"Go enjoy that big bed of yours," Harry ruffles Teddy's blue hair. "We'll see you in the morning."

Teddy rubs his eyes and looks younger than thirteen for a brief moment, "Love you."

"Love you too, mate."

His door closes and Harry rubs a weary hand under his glasses.

"Merlin, I'm exhausted."

Ginny nods and moves to their bedroom. It's only eight, but Harry is in complete agreement of moving to their bed. Ginny starts her normal routine but Harry throws himself onto their bed and closes his eyes.

He's briefly startled when Gin climbs on top of him and lays her body flush against his. His arms encircle her instinctively and he lets their hearts beat against each other for a few moments in blissful silence.

"I love your family," he finally sighs.

"That makes one of us," Ginny mumbles into his neck.

Harry chuckles, "You love them."

"I'm not in the right headspace to answer that."

Her breathing is slowing as they hold each other and Harry feels the tension easing out of him.

It's surprising, that he forgets how much this helps after these long stays away from home with their small children. But as they lose themselves in each other, he's positive this connection is what he really has been lacking, more than sleep or anything else they'd sacrificed to go to the 'reunion.' They lay there holding onto each other, and whispering 'I love you' periodically because it simply conveys everything.

He vows not to forget this time, not to forget that this is their balm, which he's sure he did last time as well but whatever.

"We should go downstairs and see if there's a match on the telly." Ginny murmurs into his neck. "I want to snuggle with you under that big blanket and eat popcorn."

Harry hums at how lovely that sounds.

And so they end up curled around each other, a game of rugby on the telly and a bowl of popcorn balanced on their legs, drinks within reach. Ginny's head resting against his chest and shoulder is calming as the match plays quietly on the screen.

It's a good ten minutes in that he realizes he's smiling, a contented smile that felt so very distant not one hour ago but now sits upon his face like it's always been there.

He kisses Ginny's head and allows a happy sigh to escape him.

"I love you."

She looks up at him with the same smile currently gracing his lips and pushes up to kiss him briefly.

"I love you too."

And everything is alright again. The weariness has lost its edge, the exhaustion has given way to a comfortable tired, and he's wrapped around his wife, alone, with the kids asleep, and a match playing quietly on the telly. And suddenly the whole week was worth it because it ended like this.

#Marcid #harry potter fanfiction #hinny #harry x ginny #harry potter x ginny weasley #post-hogwarts story #one-shot #fluff #fluffy #family fluff #family fun #harry potter #ginny weasley #romance #teddy lupin #james sirius #albus severus #lily luna

[thedupshadove]

For as long as H.P. Lovecraft’s work has been appreciated by members of all those minorities he made no secret of despising, people have been thinking of ways to twist and subvert his creations and premises so as to refute his bigoted beliefs. And I think I’ve got mine. I may be playing with fire here, but I’ve spent too much time and mental energy mulling over this not to want to know what others will think of it.

I want you to picture a young man named Robert Olmstead, somewhere between his mid-20s and early 30s. He is a fairly average sort of man, perhaps leaning slightly towards the dreamy and artistic over the athletic. He might lean quite a bit harder if he hadn’t, for all his life, loved the water with a fierce and burning passion. As a small child, he used to fuss when his mother tried to take him out of the bath. One of his earliest vivid memories is of when he was six years old and his family, who lived in Tennessee, took their first vacation to the ocean in his lifetime. The journey had been long, the hotel room had been too hot,  he had slept poorly, and by the time he and his parents had piled back into the car for the final leg of the trip to this “beach” thing he had been bound and determined not to enjoy it. But then they arrived. And he stepped out of the car. And he smelled something unlike anything he’d ever smelled before, and the smell seemed to call him forward, and he zipped ahead of his parents, heedless of his mother’s pleas to put on sunscreen, and he ran and he ran towards the smell and suddenly there it was, an endless endless expanse of beautiful, perfect water, the most amazing thing he’d ever seen, and he near to wept for joy and he needed to be in it, and he ran so fast his legs slipped out from under him twice but he just got up and kept running and finally, finally he was in it and it was the most beautiful feeling he’d ever felt in his life. It was six and a half hours before his parents could convince him to come out. And ever since then he has known that if he ever felt sad, or angry,  or stressed, or lonely, or just a little empty inside, getting himself into water was what helped. Even a bath was something, although space to swim was better, and a natural body of water was also better. So a swimming pool and a creek were about the same, both better than a bath, and a good-sized pond or stream was better than that, a real lake or river better still. But nothing was ever quite as good as the ocean, when he could get to it.

He grows up, and becomes a writer, or a painter, or an architect, or something else that allows him to work from home and take most of his work with him if he moves. (That’s for plot reasons. You’ll see.) And one summer, he decides to take a month to do some traveling around the Northeastern coast. He’s on his way to what was going to be his second stop, when he’s hit with sudden car trouble. He nurses it to the nearest mechanic shop, in a little spit of a Massachusetts fishing town called Innsmouth. The good news, they know what the problem is, and it should be a fairly easy and affordable fix. The bad news, they just ran out of a vital part they need to replace. They’ve already sent off to their supplier for a fresh shipment, but being as out in the boonies as they are,  it’ll be two weeks until said shipment gets there. Well, he won’t get to travel as much as he wanted on this holiday, but at least it’s happening towards the beginning rather than towards the end, eh? So, which way to the local Inn? Er...there isn’t one. Well...where is he supposed to stay? Especially with his now-limited mobility on account of his car just broke down?  Not to fret, there’s an old lady in town, one Hannah Marsh, who has a big empty house with plenty of bedrooms to spare. They’re sure she’ll let him stay with her, it’s just up that road, then you make a left at the little ice-cream shop…

He arrives, knocks, explains his situation, and she immediately hurries him inside with assurances that of course he can stay, not to worry, and he shouldn’t fret about his car either, she knows the boys who run the mechanic shop and they’re first-rate,  just the best, really if only he hadn’t had the bad luck to arrive just as they ran out of that one part he’d be back on the road by now. By time she’s finished imparting all of this, he finds that he’s sitting at her kitchen table with a fried fish sandwich and a glass of milk in front of him. He brings up the subject of the fee for two weeks room and she is shocked, shocked, that he would even suggest such a thing; “What does it cost me to let you sleep in my house, that I should turn around and charge you?” “But I’ll need to shower. What about the increased water bill?” “I’m on a fixed rate, it doesn’t matter how much I use, look at it one way you’ll be helping me get my money’s worth.” “Well if you intend to go on feeding me you might at least let me compensate you for the extra food.” “Hmm. Well, there are a few little home projects I’ve been meaning to get to, but keep putting off. Help me out with those, and we’ll call it square.”

So, after an afternoon spent settling into his room and helping her organize some boxes in the attic and a dinner of a lovely fish-and-potato casserole, Robert settles in for his first night in Innsmouth. In the middle of the night, he hears some movement in the house, and then the front door open and close. The next morning, he asks whether there was some kind of commotion that he had been negligent in not getting up for. “Oh, I just like to take a walk of a night to clear my head, nothing at all to worry about.”

And so, roughly, the next twelve days go. Robert helps Hannah with her little projects around the house, and when they’re not doing that, he often finds himself accompanying her in her daily goings-about. He stares longingly at the ocean once or twice, but it seems that he really likes this brisk little friendly yet bitingly witty old woman, and just keeps following her around. But as the days pass, the strangest feeling keeps creeping up on him, getting stronger each time it does. He’ll be walking through town, or get drawn into a chat with the greengrocer, stand by and listen while Hannah haggles over the price of a pound of fish, and all the while he’s noticing little differences, little things that the people in this town do that he’s never seen anywhere else, little differences in culture and an unfamiliar tilt to the architecture and what sound like religious oaths that he doesn’t recognize, but it feels...right. Feels good. Feels natural. Feels like home. Which is odd, because he’s certain he’s never been here before, and he certainly didn’t grow up in a town like this (Tennessee, remember?), so why does it seem that with every second he spends in this town, the rightness just keeps growing?

On the fourth day he wakes up to find a note from Hannah saying that she’ll be away most of the day, and so of course he shouldn’t be expected to do any of the projects on his own. First, he thinks he’ll take the opportunity to do some swimming, but as he’s walking down the shore he’s stopped by a local who hastily explains that unfortunately the ocean along the town can’t be swum in because...it will scare away the fishes. Yes, that’s it, so sorry to disappoint you, but with fishing being so vital to the local economy you can imagine how important it is to keep the fishes in the water, right? Right? Good, good.

Well, with that stymied,  Robert gets another idea; Hannah’s been such a lovely hostess, and sure he’s been helping her around the house, but he’d like to do something else to show his appreciation. Why doesn’t he make dinner tonight? So he spends the day going around to the various little markets, picking up all the ingredients he’ll need (all the while shadowed by that same inexplicable yet undeniable feeling of rightness and belonging), then takes it all back to Hannah’s house and starts cooking. As he chops and measures and stirs and tastes, he finds himself half-singing half-humming an old song he remembers his grandfather used to sing. And at 6:30 in the evening, Hannah comes home to a pot of fish stew on the table. As she smells the product and takes her first bite, one could almost suspect that a startle passes over her, but there’s nary a tremor in her voice when she asks him where he got the recipe from. “Oh, it’s an old family one.” he replies. “Goes at least as far back as my mother’s father’s mother, if I remember correctly.” “Oh indeed? Well, it’s quite lovely.”

On the evening before the sixth day, Hannah tells Robert that she’ll be gone tomorrow until probably about 1:30-2:00 in the afternoon; she’s going to a religious service. Some inner drive Robert can’t explain compels him to ask if he can come along. Hannah hesitates, then says yes, but warns him that things might look strange, and cautions him against hasty judgment. The next morning he wakes up on the early side, dresses in the best outfit he brought with him, and follows her to a building near the center of town that looks even more unusual than most of the buildings. Inside, it seems that virtually the whole of the town has gathered. They take their seats (not really any sort of pew setup, just a whole bunch of chairs willy-nilly around the large main room) and at first Robert starts to maybe regret tagging along to the services of what appears to be a completely unfamiliar faith. It’s mostly a lot of singing and chanting in a language he doesn’t recognize, but there is a little talking in English too, and from what he can gather there’s a god of some kind called Dagon who, if he’s anywhere in particular, is probably at the bottom of the ocean, and something about a pact, and remembering the balance between lives. As said,  at first it’s awkward for him, being the only person in the room who doesn’t understand what’s going on, but as the service continues that right feeling comes on him again, and he starts to find the atmosphere comforting, even if he isn’t sure of most of what’s being said.

After the service itself there’s a kind of reception/town gathering/informal lunch, and this is where that feeling really kicks into high gear. The food is hitting something in his soul that he hadn’t known he had, there’s strange yet hauntingly familiar music playing in one corner of the room, people are dancing, people are talking, people are laughing, and he nearly falls to his knees, buffeted by waves of right and yes and HomeHomeHome and You belong here, Robert Olmstead. But, he thinks, how can he feel that he belongs here? He knows he’s never been here, so much of this is new to him, yet it calls out to his soul. He wants, he wants...but how dare he, he suddenly realizes. Who is he, to waltz in here and start trying to insert himself? Trying to fit in, trying to be a part of this? No, no, this isn’t right. He has to stop this before he becomes no better than a common thief. And in a panic he runs out of the room and out of the building and then he does fall to his knees, on the ground outside,  gasping for breath and trying desperately to calm his spinning head.

Hannah, who had noticed him starting to look a bit uncomfortable and certainly noticed him rush out, follows him outside and asks, a little sadly, if he’s alright. Oh yes, he responds, yes he’s perfectly fine, he just needed some air, that’s all. So nothing he heard...disturbed him, she asks? What? Oh no, no, not at all! He replies hastily. No, he’s just...not good with crowds sometimes. Please, she shouldn’t let him keep her. She looks a little dubious, but nods and goes back inside, leaving him sitting on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest and wishing he could go swimming. Maybe that would settle his troubled soul.

That night,  not only does he hear the usual sounds of Hannah leaving the house,  he’d swear he hears the sound of some large group, coming from the direction of the sea.

The next few days are a little awkward. On the surface, nothing’s changed—helping Hannah around the house and tagging along with her if she has to go somewhere, chatting all the while, but now the talk seems the littlest bit strained, and he keeps catching her stealing sad, slightly worried glances at him, and of course there’s the fact that now he’s trying to actively hold himself back from feeling too much at home. But by the ninth day, things have settled back down a little (partially because, if he’s being honest, his attempts to not feel comfortable here weren’t working very well, and he’s started slacking off on them.)

But with that slacking off on trying to hold back comes the return of those feelings of guilt for how happy he is being here. And as the happiness builds, so does the guilt, and he spends most of his time wrestling back and forth in his head, scolding himself for his presumptuousness, pleading with his superego to be allowed to just enjoy it while he can, shaking his head in disgust at his interest, which is obviously just a result of encountering something new and exotic, and couldn’t possibly be justified...right? Right, he mustn’t go on like this, after all no one likes a grabby tourist. He doesn’t really belong here (but what if he could…) All this passive enjoyment is very wrong of him (but it feels so right…) Anyway, in just a few more days he’ll be leaving (he doesn’t want to…) and then this foolishness will subside (but what if…) No!

This mental battle stresses him so much that, on the twelfth night, he can’t even get to sleep, and so decides to take a walk along the shore in the hope of clearing his head. As he comes down to the beach he once again begins to hear the sounds of a crowd. He worries that going down to join whatever’s happening would be counter-intuitive to his goal of not inserting himself into this place, but he can’t quite dismiss his curiosity, so he slowly inches closer until he finds a bush he can hide behind (and yes, he does feel a little silly) and peek out around to see what’s going on...and it floors him.

Perhaps it shouldn’t. It’s just a large group of people, swimming and frolicking in the water and hanging out on the beach. But the thing about these people is...they’re Fish People. Bipedal, but with big eyes and scaly bodies and fins coming off, come on, we’ve all seen movies. And maybe it should be terrifying, but as I said, they’re not doing anything...menacing or evil. They’re just hanging out. But as he looks closer at them...he doesn’t quite know how,  but he can recognize some of them. There, that’s the greengrocer. And he thinks that one is one of the men who own the mechanic shop. And that one over there...that’s Hannah. Oh good grief, this is where she’s been going every night! And this must be the real reason why they didn’t want him swimming. And that commotion he heard on the night of the religious service—there had been something about balancing lives, after all. That must have been the other half of the service. Realizing this all at once, he’s unable to stifle a yelp of startled understanding, and then he passes out.

The next morning, he wakes up back in his bed in Hannah’s house. He shakes his head—was last night a dream?—but when he looks down at himself he sees that he’s covered in the scratches that must have come from fainting into a bush. He dresses slowly, cautiously makes his way downstairs, and finds Hannah in the kitchen standing over the stove. “So”, she asks tensely, “Did you sleep well?” “I don’t know”, he responds after a pause, “Did I?”

She turns around to face him. “Robert”, she asks, “have we hurt you? Have we imprisoned you? Have we done anything to make you fear us, or wish us harm?”  

“No”, he replies, confused, “certainly not.”

“Then...can I have your word that after you leave here, you won’t tell a soul what I’m about to tell you?”

“...Alright.”

And so the truth, or at least a sketch of the truth, comes out. Long, long, long ago, so long ago that a lot of the specific details are lost to history, an ancient civilization (no one seems to remember exactly where it was, although one supposes that it must have been coastal) started interbreeding with an aquatic race called the Deep Ones, as well as adopting their religion of worshiping the sea god Dagon. This went on long enough for the hybrids to become a race unto themselves. They can shape-shift between more human and more aquatic forms but must spend at least one hour per day in water (and generally prefer much more), and they are quite long-lived, with an average lifespan of 500 years. And then, some period of time after the hybrid race stabilized...something happened. We’re not sure what it was. We think it involved a neighboring tribe getting worried that these strange fish people were coming to kill them all. Or maybe it was just a land dispute. One of those. But anyway, the only way for the hybrid race to survive was to flee, cutting themselves off from their Deep One brothers and scattering to the four winds. Groups of them traveled here, there, everywhere, staying together in communities when they could, and even occasionally finding new communities of Deep Ones, though not very often. They’ve tried to keep their culture alive, as well as keeping themselves alive, but the general practice now is to keep their true natures secret from “normal” humans, after what happened way back when. A few times, someone or a small group of someones has tried revealing the secret, sick of hiding and convinced that peaceful coexistence should be possible, but as a rule that...hasn’t ended well. And around the turn of the 20th century, one group came to Massachusetts, and founded Innsmouth. So can he see why they didn’t want him finding out—and why she still doesn’t want him telling anyone? Yes, he can, and she has his word that he won’t.

But the next day and a half is, if anything, more awkward still. Because he had thought that finding out this outlandish truth might make his wonderful, impossible at-home feeling diminish, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t at all. And now he only feels more guilty about it—oh, he feels kinship with these people? He dared to think he might have a place here? Among these people who have had nothing but bullshit thrown at them for thousands of years, who have to keep themselves secret and hidden away, and he wants to, what, join up? Because he likes the food? Robert Jonathan Olmstead, you are a heartless, greedy moron.

And then, just after noon on the fourteenth day, one of the mechanics stops by to tell him that his car is ready. And he has no choice but to thank him, and pay, and take his car back, and pack up his things, and thank Hannah for being such a lovely hostess (“Nonsense, nonsense, thank you for being such a help.”) and get behind the wheel, and, pushing down the ache in his heart with all his might, drive away from Innsmouth. He finds he just isn’t in the vacation mood anymore, opting to just go straight home.

For the next three months, he tries to settle back into life. He tries not to think about Innsmouth, and sometimes succeeds for as much as half an hour at a time (and no, sleep is no respite. Not a single night goes by that he doesn’t dream he’s back there.) But he finds himself incorporating elements of what he saw in Innsmouth into his own work, and has to hastily remove it. And he finds life increasingly...empty, which drives him into whatever water he can get to more and more often. And his eyes are starting to get dry more easily.

And then a local newspaper challenges its readers to trace their family history and find something interesting to write about, and what the hey, he could use a distraction. So he digs out all the family records he can find. It’s mostly pretty boring stuff, with everybody concentrated in the Chattanooga area for several generations back, except for his mother’s paternal grandfather. Who married a girl who seemed to bring none of her relatives with her into the family, but said she came from a small fishing town in Massachusetts. One Hannah Marsh.

Head spinning, he piles into his car first chance he can get and drives straight back to Innsmouth, barely stopping until he’s right outside Hannah’s house, and practically racing up her front step to breathlessly knock on her door. She seems pleased to see him, but surprised,  had he forgotten something when he left and only just noticed it now?

“No, I...look, can I come in?”

“Alright.”

And so they sit down on the couch in her front parlor.

“Hannah, I...” even if there was a tactful way to say this, he’s too keyed-up to find it, “I’m your great-grandson.”

“Yes.”

“So you knew? The whole time I was with you?”

“No. Only after you made my soup.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“At first, explaining how would have meant giving up The Secret. And by time I had to do that anyway, I...was pretty sure you wouldn’t have been happy to hear it.”

“...What?”

“Well as the days went by you started to seem so nervous whenever we were around town. And you had to rush out of the temple because you just couldn’t stand it. So I figured we’d both be better off if I didn’t burden you with the knowledge that you were connected to the freaks on the shore, no?” She’s trying not to sound to hurt, and not succeeding particularly well.

“Is...is that what you thought? Yes, I can see how it must have been. But it wasn’t.” And out it all comes as he pours into her lap the story of his tangled emotions all those two weeks, of the stirring sense of home that he had fought to push down, of how it seemed that the very air of this place had called back memories of his grandfather that he’d buried for so long; of songs and stories and little snippets that seemed to come from nowhere but now it makes sense! They came from here! And when he’s done explaining it all, and watching the strangest set of expressions cross Hannah’s face, he musters his courage and asks the questions that really drove him here. His work is portable. He doesn’t really have that many roots where he lives currently. So could he...could he come back? Move up here and try to...to be a Deep One properly? To learn how it all goes and really do it?

Hannah closes her eyes and turns her head away from him. “No.”

His heart sinks. It feels like an ice-cube has been dropped down his spine. But...he’s come too far, dangit! He has to press on. To at least try to understand “Why not?”

“Robert, do you know why I married your great-grandfather? Because I was sick of it. Not of these people, nor even really of this place,  but of being stuck in this place. Of having to huddle here because the wide world won’t accept us. And though I loved your great-grandfather—no, don’t look at me like that, I did! But keeping this secret from him, artificially aging myself until, as I always knew, deep down, that I would have to, I faked my death and came back here...it was insane. And the lengths we have to go to in order to have any interaction with the outside world. The secrecy, the hiding of something so fundamental to who we are...you don’t want to be a part of this, Robert.”

But I do! He thinks, but since that track has already failed, he instead tries “I’m not sure I have a choice. Ever since I left here, I think I’ve been...changing. I’m starting to need water more and more often. A couple of times it’s almost seemed like I could breathe underwater. So can I come back?”

“No. What you’re talking about happens sometimes. I’m not the first to mix with humans,  not by a long shot. The results of such unions certainly have the potential to become full Deep One hybrids, but they also have every opportunity not to. What you need to do is start spending a lot less time in water, especially submerged. Take showers instead of baths. Avoid lakes and rivers. Breathe no salten air. The burgeoning transformation will subside, in time.”

I don’t want it to! He thinks desperately, and he can’t stop the escaping “But...”

Hannah sighs, “Go home, Robert.”

“I’m trying.”

Again she closes her eyes, sucks in a breath, and turns away, but this time she says, very quietly, “Ask me again.”

“Can I come back?”

Hannah opens her eyes, and they’re shining. A smile breaks over her face. “Yes,” she says softly, “Yes, yes, yes.”

“R...really? Just like that? What changed your mind?”

“Nothing. I had to try to talk you out of it. I’m sorry. We can talk about it.” She’s shaking with joy and, he realizes, so is he. “But I’m so glad you’re doing this. And I’ll be there with you, every step of the way.”

He can’t help it. He throws his arms around her, and they stay that way for some time, crying a little and hugging each other.

#lovecraft #h.p. lovecraft #the shadow over innsmouth #robert olmstead #deep ones #dagon #why yes this is what i projected my own experiences onto before hitting on Newton Pulsifer #why do you ask?

[torn-and-frayed]

Unwanted - Send the Pain Below Timestamp

Word Count: 2812

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Drug use, addiction, violence, stalking, PTSD, panic attacks, emotional abuse, gaslighting

A/N: This takes place within 1 week of the initial drug overdose. Beta’d by @deanssweetheart23 and @spnskinnyballs

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Anon Requested: For stpb timestamps could you maybe dive more into the readers family? Like her parents and siblings and stuff? It always kinda stuck out to me that when all of this was going on her family never really got involved. 

“Y/N, I heard you had a bit of a rough night.” You sat tucked into the corner of the couch in Dr. Katz’s office, staring at your shoes, picking your cuticles. Your knuckles still wore the bruises and blood stains from the night before. All you could do was nod, not making eye contact. “Jensen emailed me early this morning. He said you were quite intoxicated last night.”

“Yeah.”

“So you remember, then?”

“I do,” you sniffled and found another interesting spot in the carpeting to look at, not wanting to make any kind of eye contact at all.

“What happened to your knuckles? Did you fight with him?” Dr. Katz was so patient and kind with you, the sort of patience and kindness you absolutely didn’t deserve with all your relapses and fuckups. “I can’t imagine you’d get violent with him even in an altered state, and he didn’t mention -”

“No! No.” You shook your head, finally making eye contact. “The wall bore the brunt of it. Then Jensen’s boxing pads. I was already high and super drunk by the time he got home.” You hesitated, not sure if you wanted to relive yesterday or not, but you knew you had to. “Something happened and I handled it badly. Again.”

Dr. Katz furrowed his brows with concern. “With Eli and the case or -”

“No, I wish,” you laughed humorlessly.

Your scenes had finished early in the day, you’d been filming from 4am to 4pm. Jensen on the other hand had night scenes to shoot. You wanted to stay, to drive home together when he was done, but he wouldn’t hear of it. “Go back to the apartment, get some food, try to get some sleep,” he murmured from behind you, his arms wrapped around your middle, kissing right under your ear.

“Jay, I can’t sleep withou -”

“Try. For me? You didn’t sleep well last night either and I know you’re exhausted. Just...take a shower or a bath. Crawl in bed. Read. Watch TV. Listen to music. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

You reluctantly agreed, allowing Clif to drop you off at home. You decided on a shower, some food, then you made yourself comfortable on the couch with a pile of unopened fan mail to read. It was something you always liked to do, even before all the drama in your life unfolded. But now it was even more cathartic. So many people sent well wishes, cards, gifts, or just offered up stories of their own. Taking the time to sit down and read through them all did genuinely seem to help, at least a little.

By the time you made it to the middle of the stack, you’d worked up a good rhythm. You weren’t really looking at the envelopes as you tore into them, if you had, you never would’ve opened this one.

You knew the perfectly crafted cursive as soon as you unfolded the paper, but it was too late to stop yourself from reading. “Dad…” you murmured, scanning the page.

Y/N,

A few reporters have stopped by recently wanting to know how I feel about you being attacked and your problems with drugs. I tell them they’re mistaken. I don’t have a daughter. I never did.

I can’t help but say I’m not surprised. You’ve always flaunted yourself like a slut. What happened, Y/N? A man finally took interest and you turned him down? Played hard to get and he didn’t like your games so he beat you half to death? So now you’re a drug addict to make yourself look like a victim? But that’s you isn’t it? Always a victim.

That Justin or Jason guy is only with you for a good lay and to make himself look good for his career. You know it, too. What could possibly look better than taking such good care of the fragile, broken little girl in times like these? He’ll be a hero.

I hope the next I hear about you is that you OD’d again and they’re planning your funeral. I’ll show up to that. Just to make sure.

Y/D/N

You watched as Dr. Katz read the crumpled up letter from your father. His face contorted in ways that often looked as though he may cry. “This is horrific, Y/N, there’s no denying that. I understand how it would’ve triggered you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded. “After that...it was like...I wasn’t in the driver’s seat of my own body, ya know?” Dr. Katz nodded, gesturing for you to continue. “I could see what I was doing but it was like...I wasn’t the one doing it. I lost control completely. I lost chunks of time. I don’t remember taking any kind of control back until Jensen got home and by then...I was too far gone.”

Jensen walked in quietly, not wanting to disturb you if by some miracle you had been sleeping peacefully. As soon as he walked in he knew everything was terribly wrong. From the drug residue and empty whiskey bottle next to a letter on the table, to the banging and shrieking coming from the bedroom. He ran to the note first, assuming it was from Eli, but once he read it his heart clenched in his chest.

“Jesus Christ,” he murmured to himself, running to the bedroom to find you with glassy, bloodshot eyes, completely drunk and high, a total wreck, punching the wall as hard as you could over and over with both fists. Your knuckles had already split, blood starting to trickle down your hands.

He ran to you, pulling you away from the wall to stop you from rebreaking your arm. “Stop. Y/N, look at me! Focus on me.” He spun you around in his arms and you squirmed, breaking free and slammed your fist back into the wall.

You heard him rustling around while you continued to pour out every bit of frustration onto the wall, until finally he started yelling to get your attention. “You wanna hit something, huh?” Jensen yelled. “Come on, hit me!”

You turned in shock, only to find him standing there holding up his boxing pads. “Come on, baby. Get it out!” You took a messy swing, in your state you had zero aim. He compensated for you, moving the pads up to meet your fists. You kept swinging, faster and faster, harder and harder, until you couldn’t anymore. You sank to your hands and knees, covered in sweat and tears, completely spent.

Jensen tossed the pads across the room, kneeling down on the ground in front of you, taking you in his arms and pulling you into his lap, your face resting in the crook of his neck while he held you. “You know none of what he said is true, right? I’m not here for publicity or any of that shit. I’m here because I fucking love you.”

Every fiber of your being wanted to believe him, but your father had planted seeds of doubt. Just like he’d done your entire life. All you did was let out a pathetic whimper into Jensen’s neck, letting more tears stream from your eyes, soaking his skin.  

“You wanna talk about it? I know you don’t talk about your family at all and I’m not forcing you to. Just...if you want to…” A violent head shake from you was all the answer Jensen needed to scoop you up and slide up into the bed, resting his back against the headboard and just holding you there while you cried yourself to sleep. Your warm breaths tickling his neck giving him reassurance you hadn’t overdosed, that he’d made it home in time to stop this crisis. He still couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve gone so terribly wrong in your life to make your own father treat you so badly, and if you’d ever have enough trust in him to tell him.

“Y/N, I know you don’t want to, but I think we need to discuss your family if you want to truly start healing.” Dr. Katz said and you swallowed hard, balling your hands into fists. “Now, before we do that, I want to tell you one thing. Jensen is here. He wants to be a part of this if you want him to be. If you don’t then he’ll stay in the waiting room or leave, whatever you want. It’s about you.”

“Jensen’s here?”

“He is.” Dr. Katz nodded. “He wants you to feel safe but he wants to know what happened in your life. He wants to know you better and he says you always run from the subject so if you’d rather tell him here with me then he’ll do that.”

You sat in silence for several minutes, chewing your lip and staring at the floor, picking at your cuticles. You finally got up and walked to the door. Dr. Katz didn’t make a move, waiting to see what you were about to do. “Jensen.” You said it so quietly Jensen barely heard you but turned his head in surprise. “Come on.” You invited him in, holding the door open while he walked in and took a seat. You took your usual seat and Jensen scooted closer, gauging your reaction. He moved even closer when you reached a hand out, lacing it with his and squeezing.

“My parents were...by my dad’s account...super in love,” you started, looking at the hole in your jeans, moving your free hand to play with the threads. “My mom wanted kids so badly. My dad didn’t. He said kids are burdens, leeches, all kinds of things. But for her, he’d have a kid. Me.” Jensen squeezed your hand a little tighter as you spoke, your voice breaking as you continued. “She died 3 days after I was born. Pulmonary embolism. They said it was caused from labor and delivery so...my fault. I killed her. At least that’s what I’ve been told my whole life.” A tear rolled down your cheek and Jensen wiped it away.

“You didn’t kill her, Y/N,” Dr. Katz interjected, “you do realize that, don’t you? There was nothing you could have done. Sometimes these things just happen.”

“Logically, yes. Emotionally, not always,” you sighed, letting all that weight off your chest. “My mom didn’t really have family so I got bounced around from place to place. Sometimes my dad kept me, sometimes he sent me to live in group homes or wherever. He used to throw me into homes for violent and emotionally unstable youth when I wasn’t really either one, so I used to get beat up a lot…”

“Y/N…” Jensen started and froze, swallowing thickly. “Did he ever...I don’t know how to ask you this…”

“Sell me?” You questioned and Jensen nodded. “No, shockingly he didn’t.” You heard the sigh of relief from Jensen immediately after you answered. “He said I wasn’t good enough to sell. Wouldn’t go for high enough.” Jensen tensed at that, if you’d been looking at him you could imagine his jaw clenching at your words. If he ever saw your father you were certain he’d try to kill him.

“You managed to leave.” Dr. Katz cut in. “Tell me about that.”

“I filed for emancipation at 16 and I won. I graduated early, got my passport and I came to Vancouver. Never looked back.” You finally looked up, still not making eye contact with Jensen but looking at Dr. Katz instead.

“That took strength.” Dr. Katz smiled softly. “I know you don’t think or realize that but not a lot of young people in that position could have taken those steps on their own. To get to where you are, become who you’ve become despite your circumstances, that’s no small accomplishment.”

“I - I understand,” you stuttered. You wanted nothing more than to make it through this session. You couldn’t break down in front of Jensen. Not again. You had to get through this so you could make it home to let all the tears flow like you wanted. “I normally have no contact. He doesn’t have any of my contact information. The only one he has is my fan mail address because it’s public and of course my social media accounts if he chose to use the internet. He was never too tech savvy so I doubt he does. I normally recognize his writing and throw out the letters he sends but I was in a zone and I ripped it open and I never should’ve read it and I fucked everything up -” You started to talk faster and faster, your breathing picked up speed, you were spiraling, blaming yourself. Not here, Y/N. Not now.

“Y/N. Focus.” Dr. Katz was calm, reassuring. Jensen squeezed your hand tight, an attempt to ground you to something solid and real, but he stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt your therapist. Dr. Katz watched as Jensen calmed you without a single word. A squeeze of his hand, a lingering kiss to your temple and the panic started to subside. “You handled a bad situation in an unhealthy way. That doesn’t make you a bad person. That makes you human. What I think we should do is focus on things you can do if and when situations like this arise that will help you cope.”

“Like what?” You raised an eyebrow, not able to think of anything else. Every time you got like this everything was a blank and you lost control. Turning to drugs just seemed so easy.

“Journaling, meditation, listening to music, going for a run…” Dr. Katz started listing suggestions and you let out a deep sigh.

“I do...all that. None of it works.”

“What about kickboxing?” Jensen interjected. “Bri takes a class she’d probably love to have the company.”

“Kickboxing?” You scoffed. “I mean...I’m not a boxer, J, I have fight training for the show but that’s - “

“That’s the point.” Jensen chuckled. “You get so mad you wanna hit something, like last night. Kickboxing gives you something to beat up. Plus, you’ll learn self defense so you won’t be so scared when you’re alone. You’ll be able to protect yourself.”

“I think he may be onto something.” Dr. Katz smiled. “What do you think, Y/N?”

“I think I’m gonna call Bri as soon as I get home and ask her if I can tag along one day. See if I like it.” Jensen and Dr. Katz both smiled at you, clearly happy with your decision.

“Well, I think that’s enough for today. I appreciate your honesty today, Y/N. I know how hard this was for you.” Dr. Katz stood up, embracing you in a small side hug. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

The walk to the parking lot with Jensen was silent until you got in his truck. Jensen put the key in the ignition and paused, looking at you. “You don’t need to do that with me, you know.”

“What?” You still could barely make eye contact, staring at his lips instead of his eyes.

“Hold back.” Jensen answered softly. “You’ve been about to burst since you started talking about your dad and you keep pushing it back for my sake. You don’t need to do that. Please just trust me enough to let me catch you when you fall.”

“I do trust you,” you whispered, voice breaking. “I don’t want to burden you with every problem, Jensen. It’s not fair. If I need to cry over the fact that daddy never loved me I can do it alone. I always have.”

“Not anymore. Not ever again.” The dam broke then and the tears started flowing in waves down your face.

“Why didn’t he want me?” You sobbed, your entire body convulsing. “Why didn’t anyone want me?” Jensen hurried to pull you into his chest, rubbing up and down your back, resting his chin on top of your head. “The only person who ever wanted me left me!”

“They’re all idiots.” Jensen spoke softly, rocking you back and forth. “You’re beautiful, funny, intelligent, caring, so loving. Everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving. I promise.”

It was in that moment that you finally believed him. That moment when the mess from your crying had soaked his neck and his shirt and he didn’t bat an eye. That moment when he was crying with you, letting his tears fall freely on you. That moment tangled together in the front of a truck when you realized you could put all of your trust into Jensen. That he was the one person in your life who would never ever hurt you, and you were completely and utterly devoted to spending the rest of your life with him.

Jensen Tags:

@a-girl-who-loves-disney @adaliamalfoy @adoptdontshoppets @aiaranradnay @akshi8278 @alex-zeppelin @amotleyworld @apeshit7x @ariannnawinchester @arryn-nyxx @ashhhh26 @aubreystilinski @autopistaaningunaparte @babydanixox @bakabozza @beacon-hills-chance-harbor @beckie1996 @blackcherrywhiskey @blacktithe7 @boredoutofmymindstuff @born-to-be-his-baby88 @bringmesomepie56 @calaofnoldor @capsofwinchesters @captainradicalpassion @charliebradbury1104 @chickenmcsade @cigsandpie @clarewinchester @comicnerdmia @cosicas-cuquis @deansgirl215 @deanssweetheart23 @deanswhiskeyveins @deanwinchesterisamazing @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @docharleythegeekqueen @dorned @dragontearsandunicornfears @duckieburns @duherica @ellen-reincarnated1967 @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @escabell @evansrogerskitten @evilskank-inthemegacoven @feelmyroarrrr @flannelsandpie @flash2412 @gabavaldman @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @growningupgeek @holyfuckloueh @horsegirly99 @impalaimagining @itseverythingilike @iwriteshortstuff @jalove-wecallhimdean @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @jasvisha @jasvisha @jayankles @jensen-gal @jensen-jarpad @jjsoccer11 @jojo-nz @jotink78 @just-a-supernatural-sister @kalliravenne @kayteonline @keeryackles @kgbrenner @kittenofdoomage @kittycat-cas @lenaabs @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @lilydarcy @luciathewinchestergirl @manahil123universe @mayasmedberg @meeshw777 @midnightsunflower @mirandaaustin93 @mogaruke @mrspadalackles @my-supernatural-dreams @nichelle-my-belle @not-moose-one-shots @nothingeverdies @notmoose45 @outerxorbit @percussiongirl2017 @percywinchester27 @primenumberscanbeintimidating @relatableantisocialchick @rhiannonj79 @riakie @rileyloves5 @riversong-sam @rlawson418 @roseblue373 @ruined-by-destiel @ruprecht0420 @sabsi2222 @sammysflannels @sandlee44 @serienjunkiegirl @silver-and-green @sis-tafics @skybinx-blog @sleepretreat @smoothdogsgirl @soobi89 @soobi89 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spn-fan-girl-173 @spontaneousam @starswirlblitz @stilinski15 @stubby-the-dean @summoningsupernatural @supernatural-girl97 @supernatural-girl97 @supernatural-jackles @supernaturaldean67 @tarashari-tfp @teepartyy @the-angels-stole-the-tardis @thelastxgoodthing @thereisnolumos @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thisismexxo @wayward-marvel-sommer1196 @waywardjoy @whit85-blog @wholelottajackles @winchestdiaries @winchester-writes @winchesterprincessbride @winchesters-favorite-girl @winchesters-italian-princess @yaya-snowflakes @yellowtheremarvelfan @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

#jensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #reader x jensen #reader x jensen ackles #jensen x addict!reader #RPF #actor fic #jensen ackles fic #supernatural #spn #spn fic

[fuwafuwagem]

Throwballs and baskets (Zen x Gemma)

(Hey! I meant to write something little for you when I heard that your ex was being a prick. Enjoy!)

"And then we went to Bu... to Ulsan!" you quickly corrected yourself.

I'm going to a press conference in Busan tomorrow. - Zen had told everyone yesterday in the chatroom. Today you had went to Busan to do whatever with your buddy-pal. Zen had not been a part of your plans.

You had become careful around the man named Zen. Just a month ago you had joined RFA. On the same day you had met him over your balcony in the third floor. 

It had been all like - Do you wish to continue being familiar with me from now on? It would be nice to hear you call me Zen. Wait! Are you the Zen I just met in the chatroom? What?... Are you- are you Gemma?!

Surprising exchange of words had caused you two to be in friendly terms with each other from the start. You hadn't met again on the balcony, but during the first and only time there Zen had made it to suggest that you came to visit his apartment someday. After that you had talked in the chatroom and found something humorous about the whole balcony scene over and over again. You had talked to each other in a warm and consistent  manner. 

After realizing that you hadn't been talking to him through RFA chatroom for two weeks, you started to try to be invisible to him whenever you went to get something from your own apartment. You continued to sleep mostly in your friend's apartment or somewhere else for next two weeks. Not because of Zen, but because of the escape-instinct that consumed you in your apartment. 

Zen still played a stranger's role in your life. You tried to keep the polite distance, tried to not get you both in an awkward situation after your comfortable conversations in the chat had drifted away. You still did you work in RFA and took part to the off-topic conversations from time to time, but kept in your mind that you hadn't brought up your interest in visiting Zen's apartment after he had clearly left the decision for you to make. His pride had been probably already hurt. 

Today you had gone to hang out with your friend to the downtown in Busan and avoided Zen's press conference there. After all the fun in the city you two had headed back to your pal's house, watched some crazy movie there and then hopped back in your friend's car around 8 pm. Your pal had dropped you off next to your apartment, just like you had planned earlier.

You had prepared youself to spend time in your own apartment again. At least for one night, which would hopefully turn into a successful streak of effortlessly handled nights. 

This time you hadn't avoided windows. You had taken a shower, made yourself something warm to drink. Sometime around nine a'clock you decided to step to your balcony.

Zen had been alone, leaning against his own balcony rail.

--

"And after karaoke you went to eat, right?" Zen asked.

"No, we didn't. We went back to (Y/F/N)'s home and buried ourselves into our own theories about how this one absolutely lunatic movie that we chose to watch would end."

"Who was right - you or (Y/F/N)?"

"Neither. All of the side plots where thrown out of window, main plot was completely forgotten and the ending was overall impossible to understand."

"Despite that it seems like you did not feel too upset? Am I right?"

"You are, you are! I had to laugh - otherwise it would have been too tough to tolerate all that madness during the movie! So in the end I felt quite spent and giddy."

"Ah~ I knew it. Good. You must have eaten something in (Y/F/N)'s house, before or after the movie?"

"Actually we did not. We then got on the road and drove here, like two shameless robbers in the night! I mean, it felt like we were doing something suspicious, driving at so late and speeding a lot."

"Hey! Please tell me that you grabbed something to eat on your way here!"

"Yes, we did stop at a drive-through before coming to neighbourhood. It felt like only an instantly served meal could fix our empty stomachs at that point after all."

"Haha! Thank god~ It could have been good for you two to have someone less extreme with you to remind when it was time to eat. Well, did you eat enough?"

"More like did I eat too much. I ordered a giant burger and I STILL feel heavy."

Zen felt reminded of all the distant activities Gemma had created for herself. He thought about the new Gemma he had just heard of, about Gemma who had surrendered to the thrill of speed on the highway, far from home. He had heard about the Gemma who had eaten too much fast-food, because she didn't come to her apartment to make herself a healthy meal. 

She talked about her restless day like it was natural for her. It had become a habit for her to not stay long in chatroom or her apartment for these two weeks. To not stay long anywhere where Zen knew he could find her. 

Zen didn't feel betrayed, only anxious to see her slip away. He had become friendly strangers with Gemma in the chatroom and respectful neighbours in the real life. Friendship (and his attraction for her was there too) had been forming between him and the new girl.

After two weeks she had become distant and disappeared from her apartment in real life. Zen had felt quiet and confused. He was hopeful, but grew accustomed to the lifeless apartment.

Today Gemma had come back. It had happened without a warning. Suddenly Zen had felt a need to be on alert, to keep anything from driving Gemma away from her apartment again. He was surprised to see the girl take her place back and wanted to see her presence to become consistent.

"Well anyways, I think that I'll retire for the night", Gemma said, raising her voice. She turned away, but stopped when she saw the empty clothesline between their balconies. Oh, she must have thought about...

"Did you take my clothes off from the line?"

"Oh, yeah! I did! They are right here, I piled them on top of my washing machine", Zen exclaimed, pushing himself away from the balcony rail. He had felt like saving Gemma's laundry last time he had been retrieving his own clothes from the clothesline.

"Okay", Gemma retorted, luckily not getting mad. "Maybe I'll come to get them in few days..." she hesitated.

Joyful feeling rushed through Zen's veins. He was shocked.

She was promising that his invitation would be accepted in the future!

He was smiling. His eyes were wide open and a hopeful sigh escaped his lips like a whisper. He bent forward, grabbing the balcony rail... but Gemma was already reaching for the knob of the her balcony door. She wasn't leaving him empty-handed however, and gave him a toothy smile over her shoulder. It was a smile that she had to give, and for that reason a little strained and heavy. But it was promising, and if Zen was right, apologetic.

He wondered why she suddenly began to struggle. Then it hit him that her balcony door just refused to open. 

--

"What did I do? I can't get in!" 

After trying the handle for a few more times, you let go of it carefully. While you were reluctant to touch the door anymore, Zen was able to address the situation.

"What? Did you get locked out? Did it really happen so easily?"

"Too bad that I didn't give you a spare key..." you said softly, not completely serious about it and on the other hand wishing nothing more than that Zen would have been able to let you in to your own apartment. You turned away from the door and faced Zen with a bitter-sweet look.

"Oh no, Gemma! I can't believe that this happened to you today! Just stay calm, we figure something out! Damn, I wish that you could just come over here..."

You probed the pockets of your bath robe. Ha! You had your phone. You looked forward to exposing this one nice fact to Zen, when the situation looked otherwise absolutely crappy for you. You still held your tongue, because it wouldn't help much if you would break down from your miserable and angry feelings first thing right after revealing the existing good facts.

"It is night..." you said, taking in the dark surroundings of your balcony. The air was already uncomfortably cold and you were just in your bathrobe.

"Why did this have to happen at this time... I hate to ask you, Zen, but I could have some more clothes on right now... It's pretty chilly to wait for help..."

"O-okay! I can handle that! It's the first step to get you be comfortable during this struggle! You are wearing... just a bathrobe, okay! Socks, pants and a sweater will do, right? I'm not saying that I won't bring more clothes right after that, but please let me take care of you! I don't want anything bad to happen, so you have to be safe when I come back!" 

You nodded, watching Zen step backwards over the threshold, one hand still motioning for you to stay calm. After that you lowered your eyes to the mug you had drank empty.

You reminded yourself that you were free to exit and enter your apartment as you wished. You were not trapped, you could leave the first thing tomorrow. You had other places you could go to. You had come here to try sleeping in your bed for one night, not to get suppressed by the familiar walls again. 

But man... you felt like an unwanted stranger in the building. Other residents might have catched on to that you had left your apartment basically empty for two weeks. After living only a year in the place, it wouldn't make you look reliable.

Just your luck. When you felt like you had something to explain for the public, you would have to call the fire department to get you down from your balcony in the middle of the night. It wouldn't go unnoticed.

When Zen came back, your attention was closely on the clothes he brought. You were glad to be curious about the set of clothing he brought instead of focusing on the dark pressure that was swarming in your mind. You were also pretending to not be shaking, making your movements rather stiff.

"Is that your Christmas sweater?" you asked, attempting to make the whole situation more comfortable for Zen, who was forced to act even though your problems didn't have to concern him.

"Oh, yeah! Did you recognize it from the pictures I sent to the chatroom?" Zen recalled his selfies with a glad tone. He was looking over the distance between your balconies. He would have to throw the clothes over that leap. 

You nodded and focused on the solid image of the bright-colored sweater with fluffy cuffs. It was something nice, something to focus on. You held your hands out and watched Zen's face brighten up. He hurried to place the pile of clothing on a table next to him and rolled the sweater in his hands to resemble a ball.

He threw it and the ball landed safely on your balcony. Then came pants, and socks after that. You thanked him and reassured him about the lack of underwear, after all he did not have any bra or panties in his house. He volunteered to get a pair of his boxers for you, but you assure him that you would just put on the pants and sweater without anything underneath. 

Then, just after you'd had him throw you clothes in the dark, you had to ask him to keep from looking when you dressed yourself up.

"I guess that I'll put these on now..." you said, and Zen got the cue right away.

"Righ, o-of course! I'll face the windows for a moment", he said, turning around. A lean, white-haired man standing on his balcony in the darkest hour, struggling to act right. Helping a stranger, his neighbour, who had created for themselves one of the most inconvenient problems a neighbour could have. 

On the terms of politeness, this was a tiresome moment in the impractical social interaction between you two. Zen was giving more than you could return. You were pretty sure that it was considered as unbalanced pressure and wanted to show Zen some sympathy. 

"Why did I have to choose this day to come back?" you moaned while you pulled the Christmas sweater over your head. You used the same tone you had used when you had expressed your regret over the unused spare key.

You focused on the softness of the sweater instead of the nagging voice in your head and felt the scared shaking start to exit your muscles. It was much easier to keep Zen from witnessing your anxiety now. Then you put on the pants and after that the socks, feeling the shaking tone down and becoming less than what it had previously been every new second. 

"It's all fine, you can turn around", you told Zen without raising your voice. When he turned to face you, you held your phone up for him to see.

"Look, I have my phone! The fire apartment should be here soon..." you said, starting to press the number you had found from the internet in your phone. 

"Oh, that's cool! Are you sure you want to call them so soon...?" Zen asked, but you already had the phone on your ear and pressed a finger on your lips. 

After wrestling for a few minutes with the people on the other end of the line, you lowered the device from your ear and looked at Zen. 

"They will be here in fifteen minutes."

"Don't mind them. They are only so stiff because of the amount of arsons and wildfires they have to deal with constantly. They have forgotten how to deal with people who have other problems than fire", Zen symphatized with you.

"Fortunately you have a point there... You know just what to say", you responded and leaned your elbows against the rail of your balcony. Zen copied you.

"Now I'll just have to wait for fifteen minutes", you said and yawned. It was cold and you were wearing other person's clothes after a long day. You felt drained.

"I'll wait with you", Zen retorted. He gave you a reliable look when you raised your eyebrows. "But it seems like you are too tired to hold a conversation, so we have to figure out some other way to spend time. Oh, and you would probably like some more clothes, a scarf maybe? Let me get them for you." 

"You really don't have to..."

Zen was already half out of the door.

"You don't have to regret coming here today."

Suddenly you held your gaze in Zen's eyes. Zen was standing still, his palm against the doorframe. He gave you a small, determined grin.

"Come to get your clothes soon, tomorrow or on the day after that. We can have a cup of coffee over your laundry."

It was nice to respond to that.

"What, you are not throwing me my clothes from your balcony?" you teased, placing your head on your palm. 

"You have a point..." Zen pondered, smiling sweetly. "Or maybe I should put some kind of basket hanging from the rope? I could put your laundry in that and push it over to you", he suggested playfully.

You laughed

"No, I think that I'll keep my right to refrain from throwing the clothes over from the balcony", Zen chuckled. "You are coming over, right?" he asked, his mouth hanging slightly open in question. 

"Yeah. I think that I can manage that", you answered, smiling easily at him.

[kv-r18-fics]

Experimentation Sin

This is a fairly recent story, felt like writing a fic on first time experimentation - kinda have them tread on the first steps of intimacy. Hope you all like it!

The idea of romance was a foreign thing, to do something that was never once experienced in one’s life felt like some sort of territory to be wary of treading. Isaac and Rachel never knew what love felt like, it even repulsed Zack to some extent. Yet, during their time together, even on the run, there was always this attraction that drew them together.

 They weren’t sure to say they were dating, but they knew what they had was something beyond their normal bond. Zack and Ray often shared hug, just to feel that warm feeling of acceptance and security, then there was the kisses that followed after. Their very first one was very shy and impulsive, Ray was always curious to know what it felt like to kiss him, she even had to ask permission to let her give it a small try.

 “Zack?”

 “Mh?” Zack grunted.

 “...Can I do something really quick?”

 “Like what? Spit it out,” Zack said.

 “I’d like to kiss you.”

 Isaac raised a brow, while also filling up with his feeling of uncertain nervousness. Rachel’s kissed him plenty on the cheek or forehead, and every time it sent his mind into a spiral. He doesn’t know if he wants to be put in that state of confusion again.

 “W-What for?”

 Rachel’s face turned a slight shade of red, he could see her nibbling at her bottom lip, with her own look of unease to say the answer. He grumbled to himself, it’s only a temporary feeling, just temporary, and humor her.

 “Knock yerself out…”

 He really didn’t know what to expect when he felt a meeting of lips instead, that state of confusion was more of a state of inner chaos and heat. Isaac was internally screaming in his head, but, at the same time, there was this lingering pleasantness. Is he liking it? As soon as Ray pulled back, he could see this adorably sheepish, yet pleased expression on Ray’s face. It was enough to make Zack’s cold heart flutter.

 “...Hey...do it again…”

 That’s how it all started, just a simple moment of selfish experimentation, and now he’s welcoming Ray’s advances openly, while giving her a share of his own. Zack wasn’t too much of a thinker, but from the years he’s spent observing couples, both in the streets on on TV, kissing was a sign of affection and desire - love, something he abhorred at first. With Ray though, it didn’t seem too bad, he actually liked the thought that someone adored him enough to engage in such an act. Honestly, he’s been feeling that pulling force of attraction towards Ray as well, he was just too pig-headed to really act on it. Ray was a grown woman now, there was no denying that Isaac did have his share of second glances to her matured form, he just never had that drive to act out his inner thoughts in the most appropriate way.

 Kisses started off as a simple peck at first, then over time it kept growing into something more, Zack found it the most pleasant to open Ray’s lips a little more, sometimes he’d be a little more daring and invade her mouth his his tongue.

 “M-Mhh!” Ray gasped, before pulling away.

 Her face was flushed, and she covered her mouth in surprise.

 “What’s wrong? Didn’t like it?”

 Rachel was unsure, it was different, intrusive, but she didn’t hate it.

 “It’s just...it’s different,” Ray muttered.

 “I can stop, if ya’ don’t want me doin’ it anymore…”

 She tightened her lips a little, Ray was unsure at first, but Zack seemed to be enjoying himself in the middle of their kiss - at least he was considerate on how Ray felt about it.

 “L-Let’s try again...just...give me a moment to adjust…” Ray stuttered.

 “...Then how about you make the first move…” Zack said, inching closer to Ray.

 He was giving her the control, her heart fluttered within her chest as the distance between them began to close even more. Soon, their lips met again, a simple lock to start, then progressed into something deeper yet again. Zack took the approach to part Ray’s lips, but he allowed the woman to invite herself in. With her heart pacing hard within her chest, she summed up the courage to start the exploration, even Zack flinched a little from her intrusion. It was something different between them, but also alluring, they’re both sampling a taste of each other for the first time, and it was intoxicating. To Zack, Ray tasted sweet to him, and to Rachel, Zack had a more wild flavor, but as their tongues met, it became a whole taste on its own.

 Ray was compelled to hum out a sound, something that hinted satisfaction as they continued their moment of invasion. Isaac could feel Rachel dig her fingers through his hair, and pull him much closer, apparently she liked what they were doing much more than she’d thought. Amused by this, he wrapped his arms around her as they continued their sultry liplock.

 Honestly, after that, Zack and Ray couldn’t tell if that step was a good thing or bad thing. It felt really nice, pleasing, really, but the atmosphere felt helluva lot different after each moment of kisses. They both had this gleam in their eyes, along with a growing heat between them. A heavy air hung around them as the couple felt this sense of tension lingering.

 It wasn’t just kisses that added to the tension, but how they lived together in general. Aside from the occasional glances at Ray’s newly shaped feminine form, there was also that moment of comfort they had for one another, they’ve shared a bed together so often that personal space became almost absent between them. It had become common practice that the two would casually dress for the day with the other in the same room, neither one would make any comments about their appearance, to them, it was just the norm, even going as far as to toss each other the clothing they needed to dress in. That slowly started to change as well, with more gazes being exchanged towards one another, Zack’s sculpted abs were Ray’s immediate attention grabber, while Zack often caught himself ogling at Ray’s curvy form.

 There was a thought in the back of their minds to explore more of it, yet they did nothing, which only piled on that growing tension.

 Then, there was the moment of taking a shower. The place they called home didn’t have the best water heater in the world, hot water always seemed to last for one person, while the other had to wait for a long time for the hot water to return - it was very aggravating. In the past, sharing a shower together was something Zack strongly opposed to, aside from being self-conscious, the thought about being naked right in front of her was an immediate nope. Rachel did share the same sentiment, but she would trade comfort for the convenience, it just wasn’t fair to let one sit out for a prolonged period just for something as basic as a shower.

 First time showering, Isaac refused to undress completely, he’d shower with his underwear on, while also keeping his back facing Ray, while she treated showering like another moment of bathing. However, Zack was first to leave the tub the moment he’d washed enough.

 The next few times, he did attempt to shower like normal, but lost the nerve midway of undressing.

 ‘Nope, fuck this shit, can’t do it. Not with her around.’

 The tenth time, Isaac finally summed up the ‘okay, fuck it’ mentality and tossed his undergarment off before he could chicken out again. He was completely flustered though, tempted to jump out of the tub and just let Ray have the shower all to herself. When Ray would try to turn and glance behind her, Zack would quickly bark at her to keep her eyes elsewhere.

 Twentieth time, he was slowly growing more comfortable to this situation, all they’re doing is just bathing, that’s all they’ve been doing. He’s been feeling heavy tension in the air for a while, but most of all he’s never really had any other thoughts prod his mind like he’d feared. It’s just Ray, everyone wasn’t born with clothes on their backs, and all she’s ever done was treat this like any other shower, maybe he should too.

 So, he began to shyly turn around.

 “I thought you didn’t want me to look,” Ray blankly said.

 “W-we’re just bathing, that’s fucking it,” Zack snapped in a flustered tone, “I’ll turn back around.”

 “No, you don’t have to, I’m not trying to antagonize you,” Ray replied, “you’re right, we’re just taking a shower.”

 She wanted to prove that she wasn’t scared of having him within a close vicinity of her, at her most vulnerable state, but as she turned around, blood quickly escaped Zack’s nose and his back was facing her again, followed by frustrated swears.

 “Fucking dammit! Shit! Shiiiiit!”

 Ray will have to admit, seeing Zack act so uncharacteristically sheepish was a little endearing. She decided to lessen Zack’s frustration by bringing a lathered shower puff up and scrubbing soap on the man’s skin. Isaac flinched from the touch, and glanced from the corner of his eye. Like before, she was just treating this like another session of bathing, only giving Zack a hand at it.

 The next few times, the two were adjusted to showering together. Like dressing in front of each other, it felt normal to do now, they weren’t making any advances whatsoever. Plus, having Zack’s height was an advantage when it came to harder to reach spots, even grabbing the showerhead when she needed it most.

 When the day came where the two finally kissed was when a simple shower was changing. It took longer this time, even to the point where the hot water would run out, Ray just couldn’t stop staring at Zack’s physique, while Zack’s eyes focused on Rachel’s breasts. They weren’t as voluptuous compared to most women, but he still found it appealing on Ray. Zack’s muscles were Rachel’s main focus, the firmness glistening underneath the water droplets always tempted her to just run her fingers across the rows of muscle.

  The tension was growing again.

 The next following day, Isaac was laying in bed, staring at Ray again as she got dressed for the day. He watched her slip out of her nightgown, and clip on a bra before grabbing a shirt to put on. Zack’s eyes wandered to Ray’s buttocks, the smooth curvature of it sent his heart racing, and his hand subconsciously reached up to have a feel. Rachel seemed to sense his presence and glanced back, watching him freeze in place.

 “Is something wrong?”

 Isaac almost bit his tongue for a moment, then cleared his throat for a moment, “I...I just wanted a kiss, that’s all…”

 Rachel faintly blushed, but she’d never pass up on the opportunity to lock lips with the man she felt deep adoration for, she walked over to the bed Isaac casually laid on, and hovered her body over his to bring herself down for a kiss. Zack could feel the warm plushness of Rachel’s lips against his, he hummed out a pleased sigh, and allowed himself to part his lips for her, inviting Ray to deepen the kiss as she pleased. The woman’s heart fluttered, and eagerly accepted his silent invitation. Once the tongues met, Zack’s hands coiled around the woman and pulled her closer. Rachel was suddenly on top of Isaac, one hand caressed her back, while the other travelled further. As his fingers grazed her bottom, she inhaled a sharp gasp before pulling back.

 “Zack…” she murmured.

 He had that gleam again, one that screamed that he wanted to kiss her again, and see how much further he was willing to go. Rachel felt heat gather in her cheeks, her heart racing within her bosom, as she continued to stare into those needy bi-colored eyes of his. Her hands caressed the man’s face as temptation to kiss him again was overcoming her sense of thought. Then she felt his hand at her buttock again, making goosebumps rise in her skin, Ray felt a tingle crawl along her spine, along with a feeling that maybe she was going a little too far with this. She was almost straddling the man’s hips.

 “I…” she stuttered, “I still need to get dressed, Zack…”

 Zack pouted, even letting out a slight huff of disappointment, but he relented. Rachel felt the man drop his hands down to his sides to let her go. Rachel did feel a little guilty to abruptly end things, but right now, she was feeling a heavy weight on her, that sense of uncertainty if she acted out on such a risque action. She leaned down to give Zack’s neck a tender smooch, showing that she wasn’t turned away from Zack’s actions, but it was clear she did need a moment to think. Perhaps Isaac needed a moment as well, he was feeling a welling heat growing at his hips, along with an uncomfortable snugness. He’s had his share of morning wood before, but rarely has he felt such an odd stir within his loins.

 To hold Ray, and to run his fingers along her skin, it was filling Zack’s head with many thoughts. Rachel’s mind swirled around the similar subject, even as she tried to go about her day, her mind just kept replaying so many moments - their steamy kisses, staring at Zack’s body in the shower, and how Zack’s touches on her rump sent her heart fluttering wildly.

 Rachel was well aware of the situation, her body was starting to tick for an attempt at intimacy, the bond they shared had grown significantly, that it had already come to this level. Still, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for this sort of thing - what if she didn’t like it...what if she did like it? Ray couldn’t stop blushing, along with other strange sensations coursing through her body. Her body couldn’t decide if she was feeling hot, tingly, or excited, it just all mixed in some wild chaos. Zack had his own share of inner conflict going on, he had been feeling hard for a while, and ignoring it agitated him, just thinking about Rachel only added on to his frustration. Erections always went away when he ignored them, but why was this one putting up a bigger fight against his will? He groaned as he dragged himself to the shower to run his body under cold water.

 That feeling of inner struggle culminated in the atmosphere, it was weighing heavily everywhere, that strong tension growing more and more between the two. It was like a dam trying to hold its store of water, but everything holding the foundation was crumbling.

 The couple kept a distance from one another for a while, who knows what could’ve happened if they stayed in a close distance with desirous vibes continuing to linger about?

 They couldn’t stay apart for very long though, come night time, they had to be close together again. Isaac’s back was facing her in the shower again, while Ray nervously washed her own body. She couldn’t stop shaking, like every touch she made to run soap along her skin was giving her goosebumps. Zack tried his damndest to shrug off all thoughts as well, but the need to glance back at Ray was too difficult to ignore. He’d tilt his head just a little bit to glance at her from the corner of his eye, he’s admired the shape of her body for a while, seen her nude form a couple times, but he’s actually noticing it.

 “Yer’ shakin’ like a leaf...is the water too cold?” Zack mumbled.

 Rachel flinched for a moment in surprise, “No, i-it’s fine...I just can’t stop trembling…”

 Zack raised a brow, he was unsure as to why Ray kept shaking, he could even spot the goosebumps lining her fair skin. He reluctantly turned himself around, and placed his hands at her shoulders, the trembling only increased.

 “Zack…” Ray whimpered.

 Her voice, it was vulnerable just like in the morning, as he ran his fingers along her in an exploring touch.

 “You scared?”

 Rachel quickly shook her head, sensations from Zack’s fingers was like electricity shooting through her right now, and her legs wouldn’t stop squirming. Isaac couldn’t ignore how fidgety the woman was, something was on her mind, and he could sense it. Ray felt the man wrap his arms around her frame, and she locked up. Zack buried his face in the woman’s neck for a moment, he could feel Ray’s rapid heartbeat, along with faint whimpers.

 “Relax,” he whispered.

 The woman tried to take a couple deep breaths, as she watched Zack reach for the soap they commonly used. He lathered his hands and ran them along her shoulders to bathe her like they normally did, this did ease Rachel’s mind a little and encouraged her to face him again. Ray glanced up at the man, looking past his burn scars patched upon his body, and seeing how attractive he really was. Her heart fluttered again, and felt the man’s hands continue to lather her supple skin. Her legs squirmed once more, getting that feeling of chaotic sensations coursing through her again, the mixture of growing heat and tingling. Soon, she was bringing her own hands up to caress at Zack’s pecs. Isaac himself was getting that odd nagging feeling between his legs, just like earlier this morning, he knew he was going to get hard eventually, and there was no way to hide it.

 Their touches were tender, but also desirous, like any moment of pulling away would make them crave for more of that sensation. As Isaac continued to run his hands along Ray’s shoulders, his eyes travelled back to her breasts, watching every droplet of water trickle from the curved shape of her bosoms, some of them dripping off the obvious hardened buds. His hands began to slide further down, until they were eventually cupping the woman’s breasts. Ray’s breathing was growing heavy, she was feeling that odd weight on her yet again, that uncertainty. She tightened her lips as she brought her hands up to grasp Zack’s wrists - was she going to stop him again?

 To his surprise, she was motioning him how she wanted him to fondle her bosoms, most of his fingers feeling at her soft skin, while the thumbs were planted against her hard nipples. Now Isaac was the one huffing out hot puffs of air, the heat within his groin was growing, while his thumbs gently rolled against Ray’s hard buds.

 “M...mmh!”

 Those vulnerable whimpers again, and she invited him to make her emit a sound, Isaac licked his lips as his digits rolled against her nipples. Ray was trembling again, her legs threatening to buckle from the strange sensations she was feeling in her thighs. Zack glanced downward, watching her legs quake, he knew she’ll collapse if he continued.

 Before they both knew it, they were both sitting there on the tiled floor of their shower, having that longing look in their eyes like they had prior. That continued building of tension swarmed around them, the situation they were in right now screamed ‘now or never’, and it was obvious that they wanted it now. Zack placed his hands on Ray’s legs, then gently proceeded to open them, revealing what was making her fidget so much.

 Her womanhood was flushed, and he could feel a kind of heat coming off from it. Ray’s face was turning a deeper shade of red, just feeling Zack’s eyes stare right between her legs was making her all kinds of flustered.

 “D-Don’t look, it’s embarrassing…”

 “Nah, don’t give me that…” Zack muttered, then heard her let out an uneasy whimper, “Look at me, Ray...my own body is actin’ all kinds of weird…”

 Rachel saw Zack sit up for a moment, her eyes trailed down from Zack’s pecs, to his abs, then to his hips. From there, she could see his member - she’s seen it a couple times from their previous times bathing, but never in this state. It was standing erect, much larger in appearance than in its natural state. Rachel blushed even harder as she stared at it, almost intimidated just from how large it could be.

 “We’ve been drivin’ each other fuckin’ crazy...so, what are we gonna do about it?” Zack murmured.

 Ray didn’t even know the answer to that, her body screamed for intimacy, craved Zack’s touches, but she was nervous of the full act of sex itself. Perhaps like with how things occurred during their growing bond, the progression of their kisses, this could be done in steps as well until they were both comfortable. Rachel swallowed hard as she opened her legs a little more to welcome him.

 “...Your touches were feeling really nice…” Ray prattled, “we can start with that…”

 Zack raised a brow, she did squirm an awful lot when he was fondling Ray’s breasts, if just a simple touch was enough to make her tremble, then maybe he could start things off with just that. His odd-eyed gaze stared at every detail of Ray’s body, from her porcelain colored skin, her feminine curves, her petite breasts, all the way to her rosy hips. He couldn’t stop looking at Ray’s sex, it’s the first time he’s really focused this part of her body, and it was making the heat grow in his loins. If Ray liked Zack’s touches so much, then how would she react if they moved lower.

 Ray could feel Zack’s gaze again, her hips writhed a little with nervous anticipation, the man placed one hand on Ray’s leg to keep her wide open for him, while the other moved to her inner thigh. Rachel’s heart was at her throat, she whimpered quietly from this new territory they were starting to tread, but her body was responding much differently. She was feeling this strange throb between her legs, along with a heated ache that demanded for some sort of attention.

 Fingers gently brushed Ray’s skin, feeling the soft suppleness under Zack’s hot fingertips, they trailed up and down Rachel’s leg for a moment, then began to inch closer to Rachel’s womanhood. Every detail about it was making his heart pound, those flushed open lips, along with her heated folds appearing wet and glistening. Isaac ran his fingers along Ray’s navel, and brushed along the small patch of hair adorned at the top of her womanhood, until he could feel the malleable and slick sensation of Rachel’s lips. Zack felt an incredible amount of wetness coming from Ray, something far different than just touching water-soaked skin, it was far more slippery, making it far easy to glide his fingers against her.

 Ray tried to keep her mouth shut, she let out a couple muffled whimpers, but something else was wanting to break free from her voice. Her body was shaking again, while an enticing tingling sensation began to swarm Rachel’s thighs. Zack watched the woman’s body squirm against his curious touch, his fingers continued to brush against the woman’s soaked lips, moving them back and forth. Rachel’s hips jerked a little, while Zack felt them writhe with every touch he gave her, like they were going along with the slide of his fingers. Heavy breaths escaped Zack’s lips as heat continued to build within him, his digits pulled back for a moment, then inched back to the woman’s pelvis. Instead of brushing her tender lips again, they slid to her slippery folds.

 “F-fuck…” Zack muttered to himself, “yer’ completely soaked.”

 Ray brought her hands to cover her face, she was feeling all kinds of embarrassed right now. The sensations she was feeling right now was increasing the more Zack’s fingers glided up and down her trembling flesh.

 “Mmh!” she hummed, “Ngh!”

 “Hey...ya’ wanted to do this...quit hidin’ yerself…” Zack murmured under his breath.

 “Nh...I...I can’t help it…” Ray gasped, “i-it’s e-embarrassing...I can’t control myself…”

 Her body continued to respond otherwise, her hips gyrated on reflex to Zack’s touches, approving of his discovering glides against her aroused folds. Isaac knew Ray was continuing to try and stifle every sound threatening to escape, only emitting whimpers and grunts.

 “Ray, I wanna see you…”

 Rachel let out a stubborn whimper as she shook her head, Zack let out a huff, then slowly pulled his fingers back. He could feel the juices stick to his fingers in a slippery strand, and watched Ray’s body give off slight throbs. That stimulation was fading from Rachel’s thighs, and she was feeling a sense of unfulfilled frustration, she whimpered as her legs squirmed to rub them together, only, Zack kept her open.

 “Z-Zack…” she whined.

 “Look at me, Ray…”

 She was unsure at first, huffing another whimper, as she continued to cover her face.

 “I want ya’ to sit up and look at me.”

 Rachel peeked through her fingers, the man’s hands were at his lap, nowhere near her heated thighs. Soon, she felt him grasp her wrists, freeing her face from being covered, Ray quickly diverted her gaze away from the man, but her hands were being pulled over to him. Her fingers began to touch as Zack’s skin again, Ray glanced from the corner of her eyes as Zack sat himself up for Rachel to get a better view of his body. Normally, Isaac was the more self-conscious one of the two, but right now, it wasn’t showing - he wants Rachel to look at him.

 “You have a turn then…”

 The woman stared at her hands on Zack’s muscles, her eyes wandering down to the man’s thighs. She can see the section where natural skin and tanned skin met, along with that small trail of hair starting near Zack’s belly button to his pelvis. Then there was his hardened length, Ray shyly glanced away from it a couple of times, but she always found herself staring right at it again. It stood completely rigid, yet it seemed to move on its own in slight squirms. From what Zack was doing earlier, it aroused him to the point where his cock was throbbing for attention. Rachel could even see a couple veins lining along the shaft to course an abundance of blood flow to his body, keeping him fully erect. There was so much more Rachel was staring at, there was that protective layer of extra skin, and in it, she could see something red and shimmering just threatening to poke out through the stretched folds of it. This was still very embarrassing, but at the same time, Rachel was feeling herself become more drawn to exploring Zack’s body.

 Her hands shyly slid down to the end of Zack’s abs, while the man watched in anticipation, but something prevented her from continuing.

 “I...I don’t know if I can, while you’re watching…”

 “I’m not gonna look away, and I’m not gonna hide my face,” Zack mumbled, “I want to see what you’re gonna to do to me.”

 Isaac wants Ray to see his reactions, and he wants to watch whatever desires she had during the growing tension they had.

 Rachel’s heart was racing yet again, she glanced at Zack’s pulsing member, she could see something seeping out of him, she was confused and a little bit curious as to what it was. The woman curiously brought a hand up and gently coiled her fingers around the shaft of Zack’s cock. The man uttered a small hum at first, and watched Ray gently expose the head of his member before her. Rachel was astonished with how hot Zack was to the touch, not only that, more of the strange liquid trickled out. With every throb, she could see it seep out from the insert of the tip, and drip from an excessive amount pooling.

 The woman dragged her thumb against the head of Zack’s cock, and watched his hips twitch.

 “Nh...h-hah…”

 Zack’s raw sound was making Rachel’s face burn, not only that, her sex was getting that nagging throb again. Like with her, Zack was quivering from just a simple touch, except he refused to retreat himself. If Zack was going to end up vulnerable, then to hell with it, only Rachel was blessed to indulge herself to such a sight.

 That moment of nervousness left her, she wants to hear those sounds from Isaac again, and leaned up to tenderly kiss Zack’s belly. The man smirked as he brought a hand down and ran them through Ray’s wet locks. He leaned back a little to give Rachel room to continue, and watched her coil her fingers around the shaft yet again. For Rachel, to please her only took hot and gentle glides of the fingers against her, perhaps she needed to so something in similar nature for Zack’s anatomy. With a slow motion, Rachel began to slide her hand back and forth along the shaft, while the other hand continued to fondle at the head.

 “A-ah...Christ, Ray…” Zack moaned.

 “Is this feeling good?”

 Isaac huffed out a slight chuckle, “Mmh...fuck yeah it is…”

 His pelvis squirmed a little with every graze of Rachel’s fingers against the head of his cock, he hummed an occasional grunt before letting a sighed moan escape his lips. With Rachel’s fingers gliding against his shaft, he could feel heat and stimulation grow between his legs. With every swift pump, she did notice her palm occasionally tapping another part of Zack’s anatomy - the undercarriage, or to put it bluntly, his balls.

 “I’m not hitting it, am I?”

 Zack uttered a small laugh, “Yer’ good, Ray...kinda feels good when ya’ touch it.”

 “You want me to feel there too?”

 “If that’s what you wanna do...mh...right now where yer’ touchin’ feels fucking awesome…” Zack replied.

 “Another time, then,” Ray said with a faint giggle.

 “Hey...since yer’ fine touchin’ me...I wanna do the same with you again…”

 Rachel was feeling nervous again, “I-I...I don’t know if I…”

 Isaac interrupted her moment of doubt with a kiss, turning it deep within seconds to clear her mind of any thought whatsoever. It worked, all rational thought left her mind, and all she ever could think about was Zack’s savage kiss, and that feral taste that filled her mouth when his tongue made its intrusion.

 “Mmh...” she hummed.

 They needed air, and reluctantly parted lips, as Zack’s tongue left Ray’s mouth, their mix of saliva stuck together in a thin strand. Isaac leaned Ray back down on the floor, while he laid his own body on its side. He parted Rachel’s legs, while he opened his own to give the woman plenty of access to his excited member. The two engaged in liplock yet again, with their hands going to their respective places, Rachel grasping Zack’s throbbing dick once more, while Zack moved his fingers to Ray’s dripping folds. With a short break for air, was when the couple began their stimulating actions. Rachel pumped Zack’s rigid shaft like before, while Zack’s fingers glided and stroked her damp folds. Both partners were breathing out soft moans, while their hips squirmed in response to each other’s touches.

 “Ah...Aahhh…” Ray gasped, “M-mh…”

 “That’s a good sound yer’ makin’, Ray…” Zack purred, kissing at her neck.

 The heat and the tingling throbs returned to her thighs, her hips couldn’t stop gyrating to Zack’s touches. Isaac glanced from the corner of his eye that not all of Ray was touched, one direction felt like he could slide his fingers in her, while another lead to a spot he must’ve missed. Just resting above Ray’s slick folds, he could see the slight throbs of a small bump. Isaac slid his soaked digits up to explore this new area.

 “Ah!” Ray gasped, “A-Aahh...Zack!”

 This intrigued the man, Rachel’s hips jerked hard, and Zack watched her arch her lower back just a little.

 “Good spot?” Zack mused.

 Rachel’s soft pants trembled, her hips slowly coming to a rest until Zack’s digits grazed them again.

 “Ah! Y-Yes!” she yelped, “Mmh!”

 Zack was amused by her reaction, but it wasn’t met without some sort of response, he immediately shuddered as soon as Ray began to stroke near the head. He felt the heat and stimulation coursing through him as the head and shaft rubbed against Rachel’s soft palm.

 “Nh...g-god…” he growled.

 Both hands were quick at work, Zack’s fingers juddered against Rachel’s aroused clit, while Ray began to quicken her strokes. Their pants were growing much heavier and needy, and their bodies reacted with every touch given to them. Hips were rolling against their partner’s touches, it could’ve been on reflex, or it was some sort of need that craved to be satisfied. Rachel could feel Zack’s hips moving with her hand, in some way of helping her pump himself, her hands were getting slick and sticky from the abundance of precum trickling out from him. Ray’s own hips seemed to move in a similar manner, as if reminding Zack’s fingers there was more for him to please. The man continued to play with Rachel’s clit a little more, until he decided to slide his digits further down.

 Down Ray’s folds, he felt an ever growing heat, along with an increase in dampness. Zack paused for a moment, gazing at Ray’s lost expression, admiring the look she made when huffing out her moans. He leaned close to claim her lips yet again, emitting his own moan when Ray stroked him quick yet again. Then, he slid his largest digit inside of her.

 “Nnh!...Zack..a-ah...n-not there…” she whimpered.

 “Doesn’t feel good?”

 He got that familiar pause of uncertainty, of course it felt good, she’s just too damn shy to admit it. Zack smirked to himself as he kissed at Rachel’s temple, he pulled his digit back a little to see just how soaked Ray was, his fingers were practically dripping with her juices. Isaac toyed with his fingers a little, before sliding them back to place, now inserting two fingers in her this time.

 “Z-Zack...n-no...ahh…”

 “It’s embarrassing, I know,” Zack whispered in Rachel’s ear, “but you still like it, right?”

 Rachel softly panted, feeling Zack kiss her temple repeatedly, before moving his fingers yet again. Instead of pulling them out completely like last time, he noticed Ray’s body had different responses from when he moved them in general - be it from pushing them in or sliding them out. It’s as if her body craved for every bit of touch, and desired to keep his fingers inside. How Rachel responded to Zack’s actions, it was if her protests didn’t exist at all. The only thing she was expelling from her lips now was hot moans, while her thighs curved to Zack’s touches.

 “Zack...ah...Z-Zack…” she gasped, almost pleading.

 Isaac could feel Rachel’s body throbbing under his touches, and with a small crook of his fingers, it only made her tremble harder. His own body was burning hot, with most of the heat continuing to swell between his legs, his cock was pulsing hard in Rachel’s swift strokes, and his hips continued to meet her touches.

 The couple were continuing this moment of mutual masturbation, with the heat from the water gradually growing cooler. The sounds of water splashing on the tile, and moans were filling the room, with pleasured sighs coming equally from both partners. Yet, Zack’s moans were starting to sound much different in compared to Ray’s, it was almost sounding needy in a way.

 They were growing desperate, often short and pleading, with obvious hints of frustration. He was feeling different than the culmination of stimulation and heat in his loins, instead, he was feeling this ache, a pressure, and this sensation that teased all the pleasure that was building within him. Rachel could feel Zack moving his hips a little quicker to her strokes, even having a mixed expression on his face - one that showed of pleasure, yet strain.

 “Faster…” Zack whispered, “...nh...f-fuck...please, do it faster!”

 His voice was almost begging, Rachel’s hands had become slick and slippery from the amount of pre that leaked from Zack. Not only that, she feels the strong heat and pulses within her palm, Ray paused for a moment, trying to break through the haze of pleasure to concentrate on catering to Isaac’s pleas. Her grip remained near the head, knowing now is where he felt the most pleasure, she kept it at a snug grip, and began to slide her hand along Zack’s cock much faster, hearing the sounds of it slipping within her grasp.

 Zack continued his heavy pants, he wants to continue pumping his digits in Rachel, but right now, this sensation he’s feeling had his undivided attention. This feeling he was having deep inside, screamed that he was close to having something happen. His body began to feel tight in different places, mostly within his muscles - mostly his abs, his legs, and even his balls were feeling tense.

 All the while he was being pumped, his thoughts swirled with a simple thought, something was coming out. Zack’s hips continued its frantic movement to match Ray’s pace, while he couldn’t stay quiet for a second, his pants were replaced with sharp and stuttered moans.

 The sensation within his groin was increasing, like he was teetering ever so close to this pleasure that was teasing within him.

 “K-Keep going...ah…” Zack panted, “nh...right there!”

 Throbs were only pulsing wilder in Ray’s hand, she’s never heard such desperate and vulnerable sounds before, especially coming from a man like Zack. She didn’t know what was going to happen if she continued, but every new reaction coming from Isaac was both enticing to watch, but arousing as well. It was making her own body throb that nagging ache yet again, telling her body not to stop being pleased. Ray breathed out a couple pants, her free hand handing its way to Zack’s, and cupping it as his digits remained stationary inside of her. She wants to please Zack, but her body demanded to be pleased in return. So she gently rolled her hips, while she manipulated Zack to keep pumping his digits inside of her.

 Isaac couldn’t even tell what was going on, his mind was already becoming clouded by this ever growing stimulation. Suddenly, he felt this spark, causing him to grunt harshly, while his body began to tremble. Something was coming out, but most of all, all the pleasures he had been feeling before erupted into something more, something that overwhelmed the man and sent his mind in a sort of euphoric high.

 A long moan escaped Zack’s lips, something Ray has never heard before. It was the rawest sound Isaac has ever breathed out, it tuned the hints of satisfaction, pleasure, and desire. The look on his face, she’d never expected him to make such an expression before. It showed a sense of being trapped in the strongest forms of bliss anyone could ever experience, obviously something Isaac has never felt before. Rachel internally admitted to herself, that very expression must be the most attractive thing she’s ever seen.

 There was more to Isaac’s first orgasm than just his sounds and expressions, something splashed onto her repeatedly. The woman glanced down to see spurts of white expelling out from Zack’s member. With every hard throb within her palm, she saw more streams of the sticky liquid spurt out, coating her fingers and thigh. Rachel pulled her hand back, while Isaac panted heavily, resting his head against his arm. The white fluid covering Ray’s digits were much thicker and stickier in texture compared to the abundance of precum a moment ago, it almost felt pretty dirty to even examine it. The cooling waters of the shower rained on her skin, and helped clean the mess off her body.

 Still, she couldn’t stop Zack’s orgasm from replaying in her mind, he must’ve felt incredibly good, and it left her curious about experiencing such a sensation herself. Ray huffed out a couple frustrated pants, as she continued to roll her hips along with Zack’s fingers. She wants to reach that end too.

 Reality was slowly coming back to Isaac, his breath was still heavy, and his mind was struggling to break out of a daze. The man carefully picked his head up, and focused back onto Rachel. He could feel her hand over his, moving it back and forth to get his digits to penetrate her repeatedly, and could hear the slight huffs of frustration.

 Ray could feel the man cease her actions, and crawl his spent body over her.

 “J-Jeez Ray...I-I get it...you don’t wanna get left out, but don’t go usin’ me like some kind of toy...I’ll get ya’...”

 Ray give Zack a slight pout, but spread her legs wide to give him all the room he needed to continue. Just the sight of her right now could make him hard again. Isaac pulled back his fingers for a moment and decided to step it up one more time - he made it three digits.

 “Nnh!”

 “Too much?” Zack asks.

 Rachel quickly shook her head, and clasped the man’s hand yet again, silently begging him to continue. Zack smirked and crooked his fingers once more before pumping them inside of her, Rachel’s moans were being exhaled in a more satisfied manner, drawn out and blissful as this sense of heat filling her up inside overwhelmed her, not only that, his fingers were rubbing against sensitive nerves she never thought to have. Zack could watch Rachel’s hips eagerly roll along his digits in some sort of erotic dance, not only that, he could see her throbbing with delight. This coaxed more ideas in his mind.

 Isaac wasn’t using his other hand, he might as well. His thumb made its way between Rachel’s rosey red lips, and pressed against her pulsing clit.

 “Haaah!” Ray mewled out.

 Her sound was much more passionate this time, and it excited Zack as it rung in his ears.

 “A-again!” she pleaded.

 She really liked what he just did to her, this teased out a sly grin from Isaac as his fingers continued to delve inside of her, while the others rolled against her clit and folds. Soon, the woman was finding herself repeating the same sounds as Zack, those hot and desperate moans, both sharp and short, as it was begging to reach some sort of climax. Now that Isaac’s experienced it firsthand, he knew Rachel was starting to feel that frustrating teasing heat. Judging by how her hips writhed and squirmed against his digits, her body wished to aid in the process as well.

 “Hot...e-everything’s hot…” Ray panted.

 Zack’s other fingers juddered and caressed Rachel’s clit, making her tremble and whimper with want, he can feel the heat coming off her, along with a tightness her body gave around his fingers.

 “Are you feelin’ close, Ray?”

 Ray gasped for a short moment, her thoughts having trouble trying to piece what he meant by that, close to what, she can’t even think straight.

 “Nhh...d-don’t...don’t know...just...don’t stop…” she struggled to say.

 He’ll take it as a yes.

 If he begged for Rachel to stroke him faster, then he’ll indulge Ray before she even had the chance to beg. He moved his hand much quicker, pumping his fingers inside of the woman as fast as he can comfortably go for her. Rachel’s moans were becoming breathier by the moment, her hips couldn’t stop for a second, she had trouble finding the rhythm of Zack’s fingers moving inside of her, but she found one with the others rattling her stimulated bud. Isaac could hear those familiar groans and gasps, the same as his, while her body was starting to become tense. He was anticipating every second of this, if he became so unwillingly lost in this new and incredible sensation, then he wondered how Ray would react to her own.

 “Almost there, Ray…” he whispers.

 All she could feel was heat and pleasure knotting up within her more and more with every action Zack gave to her, and it seemed if Ray even dare to move an inch, she was going to succumb to it. The sensation she was feeling was so entrancing, yet at the same time it frustrated her, so much work to get this faint tingling sensation to stop teasing her. Zack could see it on Ray’s flustered face, she’s teetering right at the peak, just a little more, and she’ll feel that moment of ecstasy.

 With his digits rattling her clit again, Ray threw her head back slightly, emitting a sharp yelp of delight, then felt her hips jerk against Zack’s touch. She’s become incredibly tight, she was throbbing wildly around his digits, and he could feel the same pulses coming from her excited bundle of nerves. Rachel’s legs were shaking uncontrollably, and her back arched a little. What followed was the most alluring sound Zack’s ever heard. That primal sound of pure bliss echoing the shower walls, along with an expression Rachel never made before. He didn’t know what to make of it, more or less, how to properly react, just looking at that lost and erotic look of delight stunned the man. Did he really make a face like this too? No wonder Ray was eager to meet her climax, just watching Ray endure her orgasm was bringing Zack on the verge of hardening again.

 His palms were soaked, during her climax, more of her juices escaped from her, and onto Zack’s hand. The man slowly retreated his fingers, watching more of the slick fluid trickle out from her, his other hand eventually left Ray’s clit as well, giving the woman a time to recover and bring herself back to reality. Just looking at her right now, satisfied, his sent his heart racing. No wonder she was too damn shy at first to do something like this. Such a feeling during the climax was like being sent to heaven, along with losing control of one’s body during it all. It was kind of scary, but absolutely incredible.

 Rachel panted heavily, her body felt incredibly overheated, but luckily, the shower was starting to run cold. Her vision blearily focused back to where she was, and saw Zack hovering over her. He had a pleased grin on his face, and leaned down to capture her lips, giving her the option to deepen it. Ray hummed out a soft moan as she complied, letting her tongue invade the man’s mouth to steal his taste again.

 As they parted, Zack gently bumped their heads together, “How was that?”

 “Amazing would be too simple of an answer…” Ray said, “there’s alot to say about it, but I think I might end up boring you.”

 Zack quietly chuckled, she definitely knew him all too well.

  After what occurred in the shower, sensual touches was becoming the new norm. The casual kisses, getting dressed in front of the other, their showers, and now mutual masturbation.

 If the couple were getting lost in a steamy kiss, it would take one to start dropping hints to the other partner. Zack’s fingers would start teasing Ray through her underwear, while Rachel would caress between Zack’s legs to coax him into becoming hard. Sometimes a moment of sultry kisses wasn’t it to engage such an act between the two, it would often occur at random.

 Rachel could be washing plates until hands began to grab her from behind, one hand gently groping her breast, while the other snaked into the rim of her pants. Zack would then tenderly nibble at Ray’s ear, or sometimes her neck, before whispering erotic things in her ear.

 “Zack...wait...let me finish this…”

 “They’re not going anywhere...those can wait...I can’t…” Zack would seductively growl, then glide his fingers against her sensitive bud.

 It was one hell of a stress reliever for Zack as well. When he’d come home annoyed during his moment of scouting the city, he would normally sit down and pout about it until Rachel would find a way to lift his spirits. It was often kisses and sweet words of encouragement, but now she had more options.

 “Need some help getting people’s smiles off your mind?” she’d ask.

 “I guess...what are you going to…”

 His sentence was cut off with Ray caressing the man’s lap so tenderly.

 “Just sit there and relax,” Ray murmured.

 Zack’s face grew hot underneath his bandages, but he complied, leaning back in the chair as he would watch Ray unzip his fly and get to work between his legs. Rachel took her sweet time pleasing Zack, letting both of her hands touch and explore the man’s hard-on. One fondled near the head of Isaac’s cock, while the other ventured at the base of it, massaging his balls and giving the shaft an occasional stroke.

 “Mhh...yeah, that’s good…” Zack purred out, opening his legs a little wider to give Ray all the room she needed.

 He planted his arms against the cushions of the chair, and rested his head on it to show complete relaxation. He tilted it back a couple times when he felt Ray’s fingers graze a couple sensitive nerves, with the occasional moan and seductive words of approval. True to her word, Zack’s stress and frustration was melting away.

 Every mutual encounter was different, it all depended on the situation, really. Sometimes their moment of play was in one room, then the other, sometimes they engaged in the erotic activity partially clothed or completely in the nude, and in other moments, the aftermath of their play was either planned to keep things clean, or just out of the blue, leaving a bit of a mess.

 “Jesus, Ray...look at ya’...you’re a mess,” Zack chuckled in a sly and seductive manner. His fingers were dripping with her juices.

 “Y-You’re one to talk…” Ray said, as she panted to catch her breath.

 She was perched on the man’s lap, her legs coiled around his to keep them spread, while he played with her. His usual count of digits were delving deep inside of her, while his other hand teased and fondled the woman’s clit. Ray gasped and whimpered from how full and stimulated she was feeling, along with Isaac littering her neck with kisses and wild nips.

 “Yer’ gettin’ me real fuckin’ hard right now,” he growled in her ear. To prove his word, he rubbed his hips against her, “ahh…”

 For some reason, the sight of his seed coating different areas of Ray’s skin aroused the man, like it was visual proof that Ray and only Ray could get him off, and she got rewarded for it. There’s so much more he’d like to do with her, he’s been having that craving for a while now, just like at the start for their explorative touches. That tension.

 Watching Ray climax, hearing her pleasured cries, and feeling her body throb from his touches turned him on. Just rubbing his hips against her was making him huff out hot breaths against her skin, and feeling the excess of Ray’s juices on his fingers was only making that craving grow. Zack could feel Ray push her weight on the man in exhaustion, he smirked to himself as he carefully lowered her down on the couch to let her catch her breath. Isaac’s fingers were basically dripping as he carefully withdrew them from her.

 “Was that good, Ray?”

 “Yeah...I-I can still feel it…” Ray panted.

 “Heh...I’m gettin’ better at this…” Zack chuckled, then gazed at his hands, “I’ll be back in a moment...you can rest.”

 Isaac picked himself up, giving Ray all the space she needs to rest, and eventually redress, while he headed over to the bathroom. He just needed his own time to take care of his hard-on, while also giving himself some time alone with the nectar lingering on his digits. Zack sat himself down, staring at his fingers, watching the slippery fluid bead and string every time he parted his fingers. This new thought quickly invaded his mind - how did it taste?

 Using the fingers that weren’t as drenched, he pulled down the zipper of his crimson pants, unbuttoned it, and pushed them down to his ankles. From there, he snaked into the opening of his boxers to pull out his hardened cock. Zack’s boxers have already become slightly damp from his moment of grinding against Rachel during his time of pleasing her, his member continued to leak precum as it ached for more attention.

 He really couldn’t control this part of himself, having repressed sexual desires for so long, Zack’s body became sensitive and messy, even from the slightest hint of arousal. He wasn’t going to complain too much, Rachel found it alluring to see him in such a state. Isaac coiled his fingers around the shaft of his member, pulling back the protective layer of skin to free the head of his dripping cock, and allowed his thumb to swirl in gentle circles to further stimulate himself.

 “Hnn…”

 Ever since touching each other in the shower, he’s learned to explore his body when Rachel was away, it still paled in comparison to Ray’s gentle touches, but it still satisfied his needs. His digits continued to play with the head, gliding along the very tip, making his legs shake from the jolts of pleasure coursing through him. As he huffed out hot moans, he stared at the soaked fingers before him, still drenched in Ray’s juices. The thoughts to taste it still persisted in his mind, and with every touch and stroke of his fingers, his other hand inched closer to his mouth. Isaac was practically stroking himself now, making it nice and slow as to feel the tight snugness of his grip, while he slid his tongue out to meet his other fingers halfway. The scent of Ray’s lust was filling his nostrils as his fingers drew closer. Then, he felt the slippery liquid coat his tongue.

 ‘It’s...kind of salty...w-wait...no...oh fuck no...it’s becoming sweet...god it’s so sweet…’

 A new sensation was taking over Isaac, a sense of intoxication, just from a sample of Rachel’s true flavor.

 ‘It’s so fucking good...I want more…’

 He dragged his tongue against his fingers once more, breathing a hungry growl in place of a moan. His hand began to quicken in pace, while his legs spread much wider, his cock squirmed as harder throbs were pulsing his heightened sense of arousal. Zack’s licks were turning more ravenous, and began to wrap his lips around his digits. He wanted every drop, every strip of flavor soaked on his fingers, all the while his mind began to fantasize. He closed his eyes for a clearer picture, his lips enveloping Rachel’s wet sex, slurping her hungrily as she writhed and shrieked in delight. How freshly sweet her flavor would fill his mouth, and how generous an amount he would drink when she did cum. Such thoughts was teasing his climax to arrive much sooner than before. His hand continued to pump himself, picking up the pace as his pre made his grip nice and slippery. His hips gyrated to his touch, giving Isaac that fulfilling need of having something to thrust into, just like how he grinded against Ray.

 Stifled moans and hungry slurps filled the room, along with a growing humidity. He could feel it, that stimulating ache within his groin, teasing him more and more to work hard to let it all go. That familiar sense of pressure and congestion, along with his muscles tightening up to prepare for an ejaculation.

 “M-Mh...hnngh…” he hummed.

 He could pretty much hear the slippery sounds of his hand pumping his dick, he knows he’s close, he knows it’s going to make one hell of a mess, but right now, he doesn’t give a damn. Isaac was too lost in suckling the flavor of Ray off his fingers.

 His hips squirmed and twitched, while his heels pressed hard against the bathroom tile, his cock throbbed much harder in his grip, which prompted Zack to give himself one final increase in pace with his strokes.

 ‘Almost there...Ray tastes so fucking good...god, it’s turning me on so much…m-more...I want more...’

 His hot breaths grew more desperate, his hips didn’t stop for a second, and Zack slowly tilted his head upwards, as if he wanted to breath out his final cries to the heavens.

 “Mmh! A-aaaah!”

 Zack could feel a strong tension in his abs, his cock swelling in various spots, and that pressure he’s been feeling for a while finally cave. Pleasure coursed through his body as his vision hazed into heavenly white, and his body seized just for a couple seconds.

 After a few strong throbs, his dick erupted the first load of his seed. A large stream of milky white spurting out from the swollen tip, while his shaft twitched to help push the flow out at its fullest. The arch landed on Zack’s legs and fingers, then came the next spurt, which landed on his stomach. Followed by the next and the next, until only trickles began to escape from him.

 “H-Haah...hahhh…” Zack panted out.

 He was still in a daze, but his body worked on a sort of autopilot, guiding his hand to help squeeze out more drops that couldn’t escape him. Zack’s body was trembling, he’s come hard this time, and he was having trouble trying to come to after such a strong orgasm. His vision blurred a good while, until the picture was starting to become clear again. His fingers were hanging partially from his mouth, while drool escaped the corner of his lips, he couldn’t taste Rachel anymore. He struggled to properly sit up and saw the aftermath of his moment of self-indulgence. His belly, his legs, his hand, and even some of the floor was coated with splashes of his semen - he made a real big mess this time.

 ‘C-Christ, I never blew this big a load before, even when Ray jerks me off…’ he thought to himself, then gazed at his fingers, seeing them drenched in his saliva now. ‘She tasted so fucking good...just thinking about the actual thing is gonna make me hard again…’

 Zack’s breath grew hot, sitting around just daydreaming about it was just going to rile him up further. He needed to clean up his mess first, before barging out to cave into his needs yet again. First, he cleaned the splatters off his body, then took care of the droplets off the tile. Isaac could feel his body growing warm yet again, he couldn’t bear to keep the hoodie on his person right now. Zack pulled his britches up, and left the bathroom before fidgeting to unzip the thick hoodie.

 As he entered the living room, he noticed Rachel wasn’t on the couch anymore. Zack grumbled a short groan of frustration as his pants was threatening to tighten all around him again. He waltzed through every room in the house, until he spotted Rachel in their bedroom - it couldn’t be more perfect, all the privacy for them. She was sitting on a chair, and quietly reading a book to pass the time during Zack’s moment of absence. The woman noticed a different presence in the room, and saw Isaac standing at the doorway.

 “Oh, are you done taking care of things?”

 “...For a bit...yeah…” Zack mumbled, then quietly approached her.

 She can see that haze of lust in the man’s eyes, Ray recalled Zack rubbing against her a while ago as she was being pleased, perhaps Isaac didn’t take care of his own needs while she was recovering. Rachel set her book down, and her eyes wandered to Zack’s hips - he had a fairly noticeable erection.

 Before she could propose pleasing him, she felt Zack quickly claim her lips, and deepen it without a second thought. The drive behind Zack’s kiss felt like an immense hunger, his tongue quickly finding hers to steal every bit of her taste as he could. Ray shuddered for a moment from how hot Zack’s savage kiss felt, she can sense his cravings with every dance of the tongue, it made her heart race, and slowly become drunk with his flavor. Isaac could feel Ray tug desperately at his bandages, as she began to return her own fervent swirls of the tongue, almost as if either one could starve without each other’s kiss.

 As they parted for a short break of air, Zack’s hands slowly made their way down to Ray’s legs, and slid his fingers against her shorts. Rachel shuddered a little from the sensation of something incredibly hot rubbing up against her sex, then pulled Zack in for another prurient kiss.

 “Zack...you...ah...you s-still never had a turn…”

 Zack hummed out a faint chuckle, “Took care of it a moment ago...this one’s new...you keep turning me on so fucking much…”

 He slid himself between Rachel’s legs, pulling her closer, while Ray leaned back in the chair. Zack pulled down the zipper of the woman’s shorts, and slowly slid off the articles of clothing. Already, he can see how wet she’s become just from their kiss alone. Isaac felt that hunger again as he slyly licked his lips.

 ‘Delicious…’

 “God...do you know what you’re doing to me?” Zack growled out.

 “Mmh...s-sorry…” Ray breathed out, her breath growing heavy.

 Isaac tossed away the woman’s shorts, then gently spread her legs wide open, he wanted nothing but complete access to her body.

 “Don’t be...I want this...more than anything right now…”

 “A-Anything?”

 Isaac gave her a devious smirk, he glanced at the corner of his eye, and saw one of his hunting knives, he grabbed it, and displayed it in front of her, showing just what he desired most right now. As Rachel gazed at the blade, she suddenly saw him toss it across the room, with the blade lodging into the wall.

 Murder just wasn’t his passion right now.

 Zack picked up Rachel’s legs and draped them over his shoulder, this was an entirely new position, perhaps to give Zack better access to her body to touch however he pleased. Ray’s heavy breaths were on the brink of turning into soft pants, her hips curving slightly to give Zack a better view of her aroused sex, and entice him to do whatever he wanted.

 “Good girl…” he purred.

 Zack kissed at Rachel’s inner thigh, shooting a seductive glance from the corner of his eye, before bringing his hand up to her, sliding his digits along her soaked folds, and spreading his fingers to part Rachel’s lips wide open. He could see all of her, the juices stranding across the gap of her lips, her velvety flesh, that small and pulsing bud, and the increasing amount of nectar seeping out of her channel.

 Ray watched him stare at her with such longing in his eyes, in the beginning it embarrassed her to see her splayed open like this, but now, it excited her, it made her feel completely desired, and she’d willingly offer herself to Zack. The man continued to gaze at Rachel’s body, until he could ignore the hunger no more, he wants to eat.

 “Z-Zack!” Ray yelped.

 She could see Isaac dive himself between her legs, and feel his lips wrap around her womanhood. She uttered a sharp whimper as something glided against her folds, she knew it wasn’t his fingers, it was something much more hot.

 “Mmh…” Zack growled out.

 She could hear his ravenous growls, along with a new sound - suckling, Isaac was eagerly suckling on her sex, and hungrily licking at her.

 “A-Aah! Zack!...Nh!...Z-Zack...no!” she whimpered, “Ahh...Zack…”

 Isaac wasn’t listening, to tell him no was like presenting a starved man a meal, but telling him he couldn’t eat.

 He didn’t just stick to suckling, his tongue swirled along her body, his lips kissing at every sensitive spot, and his feral voice rattled on her. Zack’s hands quickly planted themselves on Rachel’s inner thighs to hold her open. That sweetness from before was filling his mouth, making his cock throb hard with arousal, and only fueled his hunger, before greedily drinking her up.

 “Nhh! Zack...that...aah...it’s so...it’s so dirty…” Ray whined.

 Isaac’s bi-colored eyes glanced up at her, she could see the lust-drunk haze in them, he wants her to watch him devour her, he slid out his tongue to let her spectate it fondling her clit. Rachel clasped her mouth tight with her hands, letting out a muffled shriek from how it felt. Zack sensed Rachel’s heels squirming against him, and judged that she was curling her toes fairly hard.

 “Says who, Ray?” Zack replied, “...if I’d known you tasted this good, I’d eaten ya’ back when we played in the shower...mmh...and judging from how hard yer’ squirmin’, you’re fuckin’ loving this…”

 Rachel’s face turned a deep shade of red, she was tasting good to him, down there of all places, and he was consuming her like a starved beast. Her loins felt like they were consumed by a stimulating wildfire, every touch, every suckle was sending her body in a hot frenzy. Yet, she felt an ache that more could be done, she didn’t know what until she inhaled a sharp gasp. Something entered her, and waggled inside. Zack was going to get her juices from the source.

 “Z-Zack!”

 His lips encased her again, but he slid his tongue inside of her, and even gestured it in small thrusts to coax more wetness from her. Aside from fulfilling his hunger for Ray’s forbidden flavor, he wanted to make sure Rachel was feeling pleased during this entire experience, after all, this was his first time doing something like this, and all he had going right now was fantasies that played in his head. He slowly pulled his head back, Ray’s juices stringing off the tip of his tongue, as much as he’d love to please her this way, he knows his tongue wasn’t long enough to satisfy her.

 “I’m puttin’ em in…”

 He freed a hand and gestured his digits for penetration, he’d normally use 3 fingers to fuck her with, but given how excited Ray was with his licks, it was best to use his longest digits for now - so just his middle and ring fingers. Rachel shuddered to feel Zack’s fingers invade her again, then noticed Zack lowering his head once more, he was going to lick her up, while fingering her. His warm tongue slid out of his mouth again, and found her clit once more. Rachel threw her head back from the jolt of stimulation overwhelming her, but as soon as Zack moved his fingers, he felt her legs squeeze him a little.

 His gaze was fixated on her again, daring her to watch him as he sampled her during masturbation. Rachel felt that sense of embarrassment again, but she couldn’t look away. The man was leisurely dragging his tongue against her quivering bud and folds, and letting her see the nectar hang off his tongue. This was so lewd, but it aroused her so much.

 Soon, Zack could feel Rachel’s hips starting to move against his fingers, actually, it wasn’t that, she was moving along with Zack’s greedy licks - she was grinding against his tongue. This amused the man, he’d won her over with his actions. His seduction glanced turned into a pleased one, and planted his tongue against her, giving her a silent approval to grind against his mouth however she pleased. Rachel panted heavily, this was incredibly raunchy, she’d never expected herself to even do something like this, but she didn’t want to stop, everything felt so damn good. The woman reached her hands up to Isaac, and placed them behind his head. One letting her fingers lovingly caress through his black hair, while the other pressed him against her, showing her absolute desire for this man.

 ‘She fucking wants me too...she’s tasting so much sweeter now...god she’s so good…’

 “Aah!...Mmh!...Haahh,” Ray moaned out, followed by soft mewls of Zack’s name.

 Isaac’s fingers did all the work to thoroughly fuck her, crooking just right, and plunging deep inside of her, while her hips gyrated against his mouth. Rachel gets pleasured, while he suckled her dry. Suddenly, he could feel a whole new spot inside of Ray, something his fingers have yet to graze, he pulled them back for a moment to gently strike at it, and felt the woman jerk her pelvis hard against him.

 “Aah!” she yelped, “...A-Again!”

 It must be good. So, he did what she asked, getting that same reaction.

 “D-Don’t stop!”

 The sensation she got just now made the arousal within her loins knot up just as quick, Zack could feel her tighten up, like she could cum any minute just from those couple of strikes. Amused by this, he wanted to up the sensation a little more.

 “Spread yerself open for me…”

 Ray breathed heavily, the hand combing through Zack’s hair made its way to her sex, and spread her lips open for him, giving him easy access to her throbbing clit.

 “Mmh...atta girl…”

 With no other warning, Zack dipped his head down, and started to suck fairly hard on the woman’s clit, letting his hungered growls vibrate on her, while his fingers delved inside her at a quick pace. Rachel’s back arched, and her voice was filling the room with her moans and shrieks. This was a pleasurable overload for her, something she wasn’t sure she was going to recover through.

 “Aah! Th-there!...Right there!” she moaned, “Faster!”

 The stimulation was building much quicker, than that usual slow burning tease. It was wild and out of control, her body couldn’t stop shaking through it all. Zack could feel Rachel’s legs trembling, while one pointed skyward and locked in place from the pleasure.

 She was practically gushing from the stimulation, his fingers were slipping in and out of her so easily, he decided, now was best to slide in that third finger.

 “Zack!”

 Her hand pressed hard against the back of his head, with fingers balling into a fist and tugging a tuft of hair. Her climatic cry loudly echoed against the walls, displaying a primal and untamed power behind it. While her body seized in place during her orgasmic possession.

 Isaac seized this chance to slide his fingers out and wrap his lips around her again, sliding his tongue inside her tightened sex, holding her thighs tightly against his mouth, and was eager to take in every drop that spilled out of her. Rachel’s hips twitched for a moment, and Zack was surprised by how aroused she was. She came hard, he could feel Rachel’s juices erupt out of her, and fill his mouth. Isaac could feel something trickling down his chin, be it drool or Ray's excess, he couldn't care right now. If just a sample of her tasted as sweet, her climax was the most indulgent delicacy of all.

 The man got goosebumps from her flavor, and savored every drop he swallowed. His tongue gently dragged against Ray’s quaking womanhood to lap off every drop that still clung to her, while teasing out the fading stimulation of her orgasm. Isaac’s pants were feeling incredibly compressed and damp from it all, he wonders if he should excuse himself to the bathroom again, knowing Rachel couldn’t bounce back so easily, not from such an intense climax like that.

 Ray heavily panted, her legs weakly resting against Zack’s shoulders, she was exhausted, but she still had plenty of energy left. It took her a short while to stop her head from spinning, but she couldn’t stop moaning in between pants from the hard throbs continuing to ghost her.

 “Zack...a-ah…” she breathed, “...i-incredible.”

 Isaac was standing beside the woman, licking off the bit of Ray’s juices off his fingers with a smirk, “It was good for me too...best meal I’ve ever had…”

 “It’s your turn though…”

 Zack raised a brow, then felt her caress the damp erection.

 “Yer’ tired, Ray...don’t wanna make you overwork yourself,” Zack replied.

 “...Then how about I try what you did?”

 Isaac raised a brow for a second, but the thought intrigued him. He loved when Rachel touched him, but now the thought of Ray returning the favor, his skin got goosebumps. How would it feel if Ray licked and suckled on him too?

 The man brought his hands up to let Ray watch him partially undress, he let his hoodie slide off his shoulders to get rid of the excess heat he knew was going to overwhelm him, then unbuttoned his trousers. Slowly and carefully he unzipped them, and began to push both the pants and boxers to his hips. Zack wasn’t joking about Ray making him hard, even after relieving himself in the bathroom a moment ago, it was like it never even happened from how rigid it appeared.

 Precum was already dripping from the tip, and his cock lightly bobbed from the hard throbs coursing through the shaft. If he’d taken his sweet time just a little longer devouring Ray, he might’ve lost it completely by arousal alone.

 “Give it a try, if you’re willing to do it,” Zack said, “if not...then you can just watch me take care of this…”

 “I want to try...give me a moment,” Ray said.

 She sat up a little, inching closer to Zack’s dick, she brought a hand up to gently grasp it, and eyed every detail about it. Could her mouth really take him in? He is pretty thick as he is large. Isaac watched her with anticipation, he knows he should let her take her time to sum up the courage to try something new, but damn, was his impatient demeanor kicking in.

 Ray gave Zack a couple gentle strokes, watching more of the sappy fluid trickle down from the tip, she wasn’t entirely sure to suck on him just yet, but she may as well try and build her courage up a little. Zack watched Rachel lean closer and start to gently kiss at the shaft, planting his skin with a small shower of affection. The constant pressing of Ray’s plush lips felt like a bit of a tease, and it made him grumble a little in the back of his throat. Yet, he knew to let her explore, learn, adapt, and even enjoy this activity like he did.

 The woman pulled back for a moment, and let her thumb swirl along the tip of Zack’s member, hearing him hum out a pleased sound. The sticky precum beaded onto Ray’s finger, sticking to her by a mere strand before becoming undone by gravity.

 Zack watched her observe the liquid on her digit and smirked a little, “Give it a lick…”

 Rachel’s face turned a deep shade of red for a moment, just from the lewdness of it all, but...one little sample wouldn’t hurt.

 She slid her tongue out, and gently glided it against her thumb, tasting the flavor of Zack’s pre for the first time. It was a very odd taste, making her cheeks flush even more. Primal, hot, yet strangely sweet, a perfect flavor befitting Isaac.

 “How was it?”

 Ray was silent for a moment, then glanced up at Zack, “...More…”

 So, she had the same reaction too. The man smirked as he leaned closer to Ray, letting his hips hover close to her, while he planted his hands onto the chair. This gave Rachel a far better access to his member, and already, he could feel her gently grab the base of the shaft again.

 Rachel leaned up, she was going to kiss it again, moving upward this time. Isaac gripped the chair fairly tight at her lips drew closer and closer to the head.

 “Mh!...Haah…” he breathed out, feeling those luscious lips against his body yet again.

 She can taste the pre again, and licked her lips to clean them off to get more of that savage flavor. The woman knows Zack is watching her every move, and like what he’d done to her earlier, she wants him to watch her explorations. Rachel finally summed up the courage to slide her tongue out, and proceeded to gently caress the underside of the head first.

 “Aah! O-oh fuck!” Zack gasped.

 She knows he’s feeling incredible, the head was always a big sensitive zone for Isaac. So, she proceeded to slowly drag the tip of her tongue along the rest of the head, gliding it over the peak to the other side, then back to where she started.

 Isaac shuddered for a moment, then felt his legs threaten to buckle on him in an instant. Rachel proceeded to hungrily lap at the very tip of Zack’s cock, slurping every drop that seeped out of him. Hot and heavy breaths escaped Zack, as he struggled to stay on his feet. God, it felt incredibly good.

 “God, Ray...nhh...th-that’s the spot...ah, yeah...right there…” he purred.

 His moans were sounding much different compared to how Rachel touched him, they were more erotic and satisfied. Isaac was already struggling to keep himself up, being licked was indeed far more different than being touched, he can feel the grooves of Ray’s hot tongue tickling every sensitive nerve on the head of his cock. Ray pulled back for a moment to wipe the corner of her lips, gazing up at Zack for a moment to see that familiar lost expression from being trapped in a haze of pleasure. He used more than just his tongue to pleasure her, the first thing he did was use his lips. Now that she was accustomed to Zack’s taste, she should start doing the same.

 “H-Haaahh…” Zack shuddered.

 Heat and a gentle snugness was encasing the head, making Zack’s hips jerk for a moment. Ray was sliding her mouth down on him, adjusting her lips and tongue to wrap around his thick member just right. The tongue cushioned Zack’s dick, while her lips snugly wrapped around him, her mouth felt incredibly hot all around him, and it made Zack huff out moans with every breath - she didn’t even move yet, and he’s already losing it. No wonder Rachel came so hard earlier.

 “Mmh…” Ray hummed, feeling precum seep out onto her tongue.

 A firm suction surrounded Zack, along with Rachel’s tongue fondling him, his hips squirmed a little from the stimulation becoming teasing at him. It felt nice, but Isaac had that feeling that something was lacking. There wasn’t too much proactivity like he did with Rachel. He had to shake off that thought for a moment - Ray is just getting the hang of it, let her find out on her own.

 As soon as Ray pulled her lips back to swallow what filled her mouth, she heard an excited gasp coming from Zack. It was slowly coming together, with Ray’s hands, to stimulate him, it had to move along the rigid shaft to give him stimulation, what Zack did with his mouth and tongue was to simulate his fingers’ actions, only tenfold the pleasure.

 Ray slid her mouth back over Zack’s throbbing dick, the taste coating her tastebuds again, and making her emit a hum of approval. Her sounds vibrating on him made the hair stand on the back of Zack’s neck. The man fixated his gaze downwards on Ray again, then watched as she tried to imitate the motion of her hand, moving herself back and forth on his cock.

 “Nh...aah…”

 He could hear the sounds of her suckling him, watching his member slide in and out of her mouth, while feeling that of stimulation pool between his legs. That small thought of possession crossed his mind, it’s his cock she’s slurping, enjoying its taste, and taking her sweet time to please. It’s him that she desires over all.

 ‘This is so dirty...but I don’t want to stop...his sounds...this...this taste...it’s so alluring...I’m craving for more…’ Ray thought to herself, ‘this is must be how Zack felt…’

 The more she bobbed her head, the more she could taste precum being squeezed out from the shaft. It was clear she had a limit of how much she could take in, Zack was fairly large in size after all, and she could only fit so much of his length into her mouth.

 “Ah...th-this feels good…” Zack panted, but he noticed Ray had to pull back a couple of times, “...nh...what’s wrong?”

 “S-Sorry...I’m just trying to keep up...I guess I’m still low on energy…”

 “You wanna stop for now?” Zack asks.

 “No...no, I don’t want you to leave until you’re done…” Ray pleaded, “...I want to do my share in this too…”

 Zack brought a hand down to gently play with her hair, then trailed it to Ray’s lips, feeling how soft and plush they are.

 “Can’t get enough, huh?” Zack teased with a smirk, “...hmm...how about I just do the moving instead?”

 The thought made Rachel blush, she tried to hide in it Zack’s thigh, as she heard him chuckle.

 “That’s if you want to, Ray.”

 “I-I’ll do it...it’s just...I never thought I’d being doing something like this...it feels so sinful...but at the same time...it’s tempting,” Ray mumbled.

 “Heh...yer’ not alone on that...but honestly, there’s no one I’ll ever being doing this amazing stuff with other than you, Ray,” Zack said with a soft purr. “You should know that by now...I mean, look at the wall.”

 His hunting knife was still wedged and unmoving in the wall right across from them, proof that only Rachel had a special effect on him. The woman smiled to herself for a moment, then gave the head a tender kiss this time.

 “Let’s do this, be gentle, okay?” Ray said.

 “Got it…”

 Ray did the work of sliding her mouth back over Zack’s member, while he slid his hand back to her head, holding the back of it to help keep her in position for what he was going to do. Zack stood straight to make sure he could see what he was doing before the both of them got comfortable for the next action. Rachel placed her hands on Zack’s hips to keep herself anchored on him, and decided to tease him a little with the hum of a moan.

 “Nhh...if I get too rough, feel free to push my hips away, got it?”

 He felt her gently pat at his hips, a signal that she understood him.

 “Right, gonna move now…”

 Slowly, he reeled his hips back, with Rachel responding to his movement with a firm suck. He huffed out a hot moan for a moment, and paused his hips the moment he felt the ridge of the cock head graze Ray’s lips. Then, he pushed it back in, before starting the process all over again. Isaac licked his lips, watching what he was doing, moving his waist in a sensual rhythm to help Rachel suck on him with minimal effort. He was literally making love to her mouth right now.

 Rachel let out a couple more hums as the taste was filling her mouth again, this was much easier to let Zack move, and it was coaxing out much more exciting moans from the man. It was making her body feel hot again - aroused. She uttered another hum as she freed a hand. Zack wondered what she was up to, then watched the woman bring her hand up to fondle her breast. He’s eyes widened a little to see he was getting more of a show, than him constantly thrusting into Ray’s mouth. A hard throb aches from him, which caused Ray to hum out another moan, sending electricity down Zack’s spine.

 It started off with gentle squeezes, until her digits began to play with the nipple, rolling against the hardened bud, and even giving it a couple gentle tugs. She was doing everything to mimic Zack’s actions. Isaac’s hips jerked for a moment, and increased the pace a little, he was getting far too aroused from watching Rachel touch herself.

 ‘This is so fucking hot...and everything feels so damn good too...god, I could cum any second…’

 Rachel moaned in approval to the change in pace, along with sucking fairly harder on the shaft, just playing with her bosom wasn’t enough, she was getting wet again. Isaac watched Rachel spread her legs open, and could sense she wanted some room for what she was going to do next. Very carefully he allowed Ray to lean back in the chair a little, slowing the pace down just a tad so she wouldn’t suspect a thing. Once she got comfortable, was when he rolled his hips quickly again. Rachel’s digits left her breast, and quickly found their way between her legs. Her index finger rubbed against her clit for a moment, and grunted a sharp moan from how sensitive she was feeling right now.

 “Ray...ah...you’re really good at this…” Zack moaned out. He wants his words of encouragement to arouse her further - and it was working.

 Her fingers were gliding against her hot and slippery folds, getting them nice and wet during stimulation, before finding their way back to the clit. The little show Zack was watching, plus the combination of Ray’s moans, it was making him let out his own with every breath. He was right to throw off his hoodie, he wished he’d rip off his bandages too, his body was overloaded with gradually building heat. The constant stimulation he was feeling was also directing that heat to his loins, exciting his body more and more for his eventual climax. He decided to do something slightly different for a moment, and slid most of the shaft out from Ray’s mouth, now thrusting just the head repeatedly.

 “Mmh! Fuck!” he shouted, then was bombarded with the moans again, “Fuck!”

 Zack hunched over a little, panting out a hard moan, while his body shook for a second, it seems so soon to ejaculate, but he was already feeling that sensation of a climax.

 “A-Ah!...I...I’m cumming…” he moaned.

 Zack felt Ray’s other hand grip tightly against his hip, and used her energy to bob back and forth on the head, determined to aid him in his climax. Isaac’s legs were trembling, as he pressed his forehead against his arm. His mind was swimming in a heavenly bliss, yet, his body wasn’t doing it’s other part. He still felt the growing pressure in the base of his spine, and he didn’t have that sensation of ejaculation. He had the climax, or at least, the sensation of it.

 “Nnh...hah...hnn…” he panted, then sheepishly chuckled, “...f-false alarm...mmh...you really are somethin’, Ray…”

 This was the first time she’s coaxed Zack into a small orgasm, it sent her heart racing, if she could make him feel that good with her mouth, she wonders what his full climax would be like. Her grip loosened, and allowed the man to find his energy to continue his thrusts again. All the while, her fingers returned to rolling against her throbbing bundle of nerves. Her hips squirmed and rolled against her touches, wanting so much more, while she savored the taste of Zack. The man noticed Ray taking off her other hand from his hip, he caught it this time, noticing what she was about to do.

 “Lemme take care of those…”

 He slid his cock out for a moment, so he could lean down and suckle on Rachel’s fingers, dragging his tongue against her digits, and showing her how nice and wet he got them. He gave her a seductive grin, letting her know she was ready, before standing straight again, and holding the base of his cock for her to slurp.

 Rachel blushed faintly, realizing Zack knew what she was doing all along, but with the strong sense of lust she was feeling right now, she was kind of enticed that he was watching her please herself. Ray dragged her tongue along the dripping head of Zack’s cock, then slid her mouth on him once more. He was feeling incredibly hot, and the throbbing was pulsing much more wildly in her mouth - either it was from his small climax earlier, or perhaps he was on the cusp of cumming very soon, she was eager to continue pleasing him.

 One hand continued to rattle her bud, while she directed her drenched fingers to slide inside of her, they weren’t as thick as Zack’s but it’ll suffice in masturbation, while Zack continued his thrusts.

 Zack placed both hands behind Rachel’s head, making sure not to go overboard with his thrusts. The couple were clearly feeling hot and bothered with what was transpiring, and they were desperate to reach their climax together. Zack carefully picked the pace up once more, getting another fantasy to spark in his mind. How his cock continuously entered and exited Ray’s mouth, how aroused he was to watch her finger herself during it all, he wants to replace those fingers with his member. If his own digits can fill her up and make her feel good, he could imagine just how trapped in pleasure Ray could be when he actually does fuck her.

 That would be for another day though, for now, this was good, this was a damn good start.

 Rachel’s alluring sounds, her eager sucks, and the grooves of her tastebuds tickling against his body, Isaac was more vocal than ever because of it. Every hot breath that he huffed out, a moan was sure to follow. Heat was gathering in Zack’s loins, along with those familiar hard throbs again, he needs to keep going to reach his peak. Ray herself was lost in everything, with every suckle, she emitted her out moans and purrs, her fingers pleasuring herself, while she made sure her mouth stimulated Zack to the best of her ability. She could feel Zack pulsing in her mouth, squirm a little from the throbs aching on Zack’s member, and taste a growing surplus of precum filling her mouth.

 ‘He’s letting out so much...I don’t know if I can take it all…’ Ray thought to herself, ‘...I...I still can’t get enough of it though...it’s his...it’s Zack’s…’

 That thought alone aroused her, making Ray thrust her fingers much quicker inside herself, while her other hand juddered fairly quick on her pulsing little bud. She hummed a longer moan this time, and felt Zack shudder in response.

 “God...do that again…” he whispered.

 Rachel glanced up at Zack for a moment, and hummed out another long moan. Isaac’s hips jerked in response, followed by an excited grunt, before rolling his pelvis yet again.

 “Almost there...keep makin’ me feel good, Ray…” he panted.

 She did just that, making her sucks, fairly firm, while continuing the barrage of moans. Pleased with every action Ray did, Zack let one of his hands comb his fingers through her hair.

 “Nnh...good girl...ah...yer’ amazing, Ray…” Zack said in between moans. “I-I can feel it...gettin’ closer…”

 Heat and stimulation were pooling between his legs more and more, what was once a gradually building sensation became more of a growing wildfire of pleasure. Rachel’s mouth was indeed different compared to how she pumped him with her hand, and he was enjoying every second.

 ‘He’s getting bigger...swelling up...am I sucking on him too hard?’ Ray pondered to herself, noticing a slight change in girth from Zack, ‘he’s feeling incredibly hot...and his body keeps beating wildly…”

 Zack’s cock was starting to swell a little, mostly around the head and balls, he could feel that pressure growing ever strong with the constant push of his hips. In and out, he could feel himself getting closer and closer to the climax. His hips twitched, as the need to really stimulate his cock was driving him mad. He wants to go faster, but he knows he might lose himself in Ray’s mouth.

 “N...Ngh...R-Ray...gonna need yer’ help...I’m about to cum...do what ya’ did last time, move quickly, as fast as you can go…” Zack panted, “I’m losing control of myself.”

 This meant Rachel has to put pleasing herself on a brief pause, but it was a fair exchange to hear Isaac raw moans again, she pulled her hand back from stimulating her clit, and brought it to grasp the shaft of Zack’s member. She pulled back for a moment to prepare herself for what was to come next, then signaled to Zack that she was ready, by gently swirling her tongue along the head. As soon as she slid her mouth down on him again, she began to bob her head fairly quickly, picking up the pace like last time.

 “Ngh!...Y-Yeah...just like that…” Zack purred, “...don’t stop.”

 All Ray’s focus was on helping bring Isaac to his climax, she suckled and slurped every inch she could take in, keeping the rhythm going, while Zack shuddered from the impending pleasure that teetered around the corner. His hips wanted to continue the thrusts, the ache grew much stronger, as well as the heat. It gave Zack that small sense of frustration that his orgasm was right within his grasp, but just out of reach. His moans were constant, with every heated breath that escaped his lips, they were strained from his tone of voice, but hinted that he was starting to feel that lingering pleasure beginning to take hold.

 They both could feel his hard throbs, but Isaac sensed his body starting to cave in to ecstasy.

 “Ray…!” he gasped, “...mh!...Cumming!”

 The woman held onto Zack’s hips firmly, bobbing her head a little more, just to keep him in place. Zack hunched over onto the chair, exhaling a long and gratifying moan, while his hand pressed down on Ray a little. His vision hazed, his body was trapped in primal pleasure, and relief was just about to wash over him.

 Rachel continued her eager sucks, tasting the flow of pre coming out from Zack, but then something else happened. Ray could feel those constant throbs along the shaft with her tongue, along with lively twitches and squirms. As soon as her ears rung with Zack’s heavy moans, something hot splashed inside of her mouth. She uttered a grunt of surprise, yet, it continued. With every squirm, more of the contents spurted into her mouth in heavy flows. She needed to pull back, her mouth was going to get full if she let it continue. Rachel picked herself up to let her mouth slide off Zack’s pulsing cock, she covered her mouth for a moment to prevent whatever she had from spilling out, but then felt more of the warmth catch her. She could feel it, some of the heat was on her face and her breasts, she glanced at Isaac’s member, and could see smaller eruptions of white escape from the tip. Maybe she should’ve endured a full mouth, than to have gotten unintentionally dirty with Zack’s seed.

 The contents in her mouth, it was much hotter than the pre she lapped up hungrily, and the taste differed as well. It was much stickier, primal, lustful, many words to describe this forbiddenly sweet taste that coated her tongue. It’s Zack. There was no way she would ever want to spit it out - if Isaac hungrily drank her up, then so would she. So, she downed the contents.

 Rachel get to taste Zack’s true flavor, and it gave her goosebumps.

 Isaac panted heavily, his vision slowly getting clearer again, yet, his body continued to shudder from the lingering haunts of pleasure along the shaft of his cock. He’s pretty sure he was spent, yet, he continued to feel sensations between his legs. He carefully motioned himself to stand straight and glanced down, noticing Ray was suckling on him again.

 Like with her hand from all the past times of jerking him off, she wanted to make sure every drop left his body, and she was going to lap it up.

 Isaac brought his hands to Rachel’s shoulders, and gestured that she was free to stop now.

 “Nhh...it’s all out now, Ray…” Zack softly moaned.

 Rachel slowly pulled back, her eyes meeting his, as she slowly dragged her tongue against the very tip one last time. Yet, it wasn’t her lustful expression that surprised Zack, it was her appearance now.

 “Ah sh-shit...I got ya’ dirty…”

 Rachel was planting tender kisses on the man’s thighs, his shaft, and even at his undercarriage, showering him with erotic affection.

 “It’s my fault...I pulled back,” Ray said, kissing at his skin some more, “I should’ve stayed and took it all. I wasted it…”

 Isaac let out a short chuckle, “Waste? Not like that was the last of it...though, I’m gonna have to admit...seeing ya’ like that...it’s pretty fuckin’ hot…”

 Rachel faintly blushed, this was so lewd and dirty, but it excited her so much, her fingers were still inside of her, while her body was aching for attention again.

 “I’ll take ya’ to the shower...but you need to finish up first…” Zack said, “here...spread yerself open…”

 Ray paused for a moment, but did what she was told, she wants relief now. Zack gave her a sly and arouse grin, seeing her legs spread out, and present the actions she was doing before having to stop. Fingers still deep inside, soaked to the core, with her little bud throbbing from arousal.

 “Mmh...nice...you can pull yer fingers out,” Zack said, then brought his hand to the base of his cock.

 “Y-You’re putting that in?”

 Isaac rose a brow for a moment, then quietly laughed, “Right now? Nah, I’m spent...I still got that extra bit of time before I’m no longer hard. I just need the room. I do need ya’ to keep yerself open for me.”

 Reluctant at first, she slipped her digits out from her, Zack watched with eager anticipation to see the juices cling to her digits, and licked his lips to recall her flavor. He could lick her again to help her finish, but his desire to try one more new thing overruled his hunger. Rachel brought her slippery digits up and used them to spread her lips open, giving Isaac complete access to her womanhood. Zack gently caressed her inner thigh, then moved to close the gap between their hips. Rachel’s face was red again, watching Zack press his spent cock against her, feeling his pure heat against hers, it made her a bit anxious, but it also felt wonderful. The lingering rigidness of Zack’s shaft seemed to fit quite snugly against her folds, and the length of his shaft could easily stimulate it and her pulsing bud.

 Zack gently grasped Rachel by the hips to keep her in place for what he wanted to do next. Thrusting in her mouth was incredible, as with her hand, but the need to move his waist against something else was another drive that plagued his mind, this will suffice until both had the nerve to try intercourse for the first time.

 Soon, Zack began to move, rolling his hips against hers, and letting out a couple huffs from his previous orgasm being teased out. Ray herself threw her head back for a moment, the heat was rubbing firmly against her, and it made her utter a pleased yelp at first.

 “Heh...if ya’ weren’t a mess, I’d kiss ya’” Zack chuckled.

 “Nh...m-make up for it...i-in the shower,” Ray said in between moans.

 “Done.”

 Isaac began to pick up the pace, he wants Rachel to finish, and he knows she wants it too. The woman began to move her hips in response, grinding against each other in a sensual rhythm that just worked together. Isaac slide against Rachel’s slick folds, feeling himself get wet by her abundance of juices dripping from her, this only made his thrusts slide on her much smoothly.

 “Aah!” Ray moaned loudly.

 “Almost there, babe?”

 “Nh...y-yes!...R-Rub a little more upwards...mh!” Ray pleaded.

 Zack pulled her hips closer to let his cock pay more attention to her clit, and continued the swift movement against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Rachel’s legs shook hard, and her toes curled, he’s rubbing at the right spot that demanded the most attention. Her thighs were feeling hot, the pleasure was incredible from having Zack’s natural and primal heat exciting her. His thrusts were wild, but they were gentle when they needed to be. She could feel her own climax drawing nearer, and watching Zack fuck her thighs only fueled her arousal.

 “F-Faster!”

 “Nh! Don’t need to tell me twice!” Zack barked, moving his hips much more swiftly.

 Rachel could hear the sounds of Zack’s body colliding against hers, his hips hitting against the back of her legs during this swift moment of friction. Their grinds were only making the erotic flames between then grow stronger, pooling more and more between their loins. Isaac knows his hardness was starting to fade, so he needs to bring Rachel to her orgasm as quick as possible.

 Then he could hear it, those strained moans that signaled that she was reaching the peak, his hands held onto her firmly and lifted her hips up to press it against his, rubbing as hard and pleasantly fast as he could.

 “Zack!...A-Ah! Aaah! Zack!” Ray shrieked in pleasure.

 “Louder,” Zack growled. “I wanna hear ya’ scream it, Ray…”

 Ray struggled to find breath for a moment, letting out huffs at first, until her body gave way. Her legs immediately coiled around Zack’s waist, locking tightly against him, her body was trembling, and her back arched. Her climax was finally reached and she felt her body becoming possessed with the blissful pleasure swarming from her thighs.

 “Aah!...ISAAC!” she cried out.

 Zack stood there for a moment, stunned she called out his whole name in the heat of passion, watched her very expression change to that of sexual delight, and felt her body throbbing hard against his. It left him with a love-struck expression that clearly said - Damn, that’s my woman.

 His hips returned to moving against her, trying to keep Ray in the clouds for as long as possible, hearing her pleased moans being sung out throughout the room, and sensing her cum against him. Zack slowed his hips down, as he heard the woman’s moans turn into heavy pants, signalling that her few seconds of pleasure was coming to an end. As he finally ceased movements, he let her sit there for a moment to catch her breath, while he carefully pulled his cock away from her. Now he too was soaked and dirty, they both needed to shower badly to wash off this intense session of lust.

 “Zack...mhh...Zack…” Ray purred.

 “Back to your senses?”

 “Y-Yeah...haah...that was intense…” she panted, “I...I didn’t think rubbing together like that could feel so good…”

 Zack chuckled, “Or getting sucked...which one ya’ liked better?”

 “I...I think I liked your mouth on me more…” Ray sheepishly admitted, “you really went all out on it.”

 “Heh...I was fuckin’ hungry,” Zack replied, “I’d love to do it again whenever. Then again, you were amazin’ doing that same thing to me too...like you already knew what you were doing.”

 Rachel tightened her lips for a moment, “...Th-that’s because...I kind of...memorized your pleasure spots.”

 “Dirty girl.”

 Ray let out a slight huff, then gently caressed Zack’s abs, eyeing his body, and seeing he had become soft again.

 “Hey Zack...since we kind of pushed - well, shoved ourselves out of our comfort zones. I think maybe next time, I want to try making love to you…” Ray mumbled.

 Zack’s eyes widened, now feeling his face burn, “W-wh...you really mean it?”

 Rachel nodded with a sweet smile, “Like you said, you’re the only one I’d ever want to do this with. You’re the only person I want to have my body feel whole. I know I want you more than anything.”

 “Anything?”

 Rachel pointed to Zack’s knife in the wall - she wants him more than death. That moment of passion seemed to be a perfect signal of their wants and desires, and that made the man let out a short laugh.

 “Y’know...I never really summed up th’ courage to tell ya’ this...but I love ya’ Ray…” he said with a pleased smirk.

 Rachel’s heart thudded against her chest, she knew he did all along, mostly by actions alone, but this was the first time to actually hear it - solidifying the proof of his feelings towards her. She wiped a couple tears from the corners of her eyes, then lowered her legs from Zack’s hips.

 “Hurry and take me to the shower please,” she said, “or I’m going to kiss you right away and get you dirty.”

 “Heh, alright...we should clean up,” Zack said, helping her to her feet.

 From all the pleasure she’s felt, her legs did wobble a little, and had Zack hold her up by the hip to keep her from faltering. There, the two made their way to the bathroom, washing off the evidence of their passionate moment together, but at least it freed them from that feeling of being dirty, and gave them a chance to kiss - as promised.

 To experience new things, a little experimentation needed to be done. That’s how their relationship began to bud, and it showed signs of continuing to grow into something more.

#fanfic sin #fap material i mean literature

[believethaticanandiwill]

Eight Months

He knows he put a lot of work in for this big promotion a few months ago, and he sure is glad he got it. It’s not necessarily the pay that makes the job worthwhile; its more the free weekends he gets to spend with Rae, the little trips away that he can take her on, and the artists he gets to meet. What he isn’t so happy about, is the amount of late nights he’s been pulling. He’s sure that Mike hadn’t had to pull as many late nights in his whole redency, as he has in the last five months. It worries him more that Rae is pregnant, by a long eight months (he’s so close to holding his newborn baby girl. He can’t contain his excitement, he wonders what she’ll smell like, weird he knows, but every new born has a smell, and he can’t wait to find out if she smells like Rae’s vanilla), he worries that Rae isn’t resting enough, he worries that she goes into Labour while she’s sleeping and nobody is around to help. More than anything else though, he worries that Rae is sat up unable to rest because she’s too busy worrying that she isn’t going to be a good enough mother.

They’ve only ever spoken about it once; just after her 12-week scan. They’d seen their baby, and listened to her healthy heartbeat, they’d even asked for a few minutes alone while they both cried happy tears, or so he thought. But Rae had been quiet on their journey home, and when he reached over the gears for her hand, she’d blurted it out like word vomit.

“What if our baby is born just like me? What if our baby picks up my behaviours and then ends up mad like me? What if my Craziness is too much and I don’t get to bond Finn? I can’t do this. I’ll fuck this up like I’ve fucked up most things I’ve ever tried at”

 He let a tear fall at this, luckily they were only round the corner from their home, and once he was parked he was able to give her all his attention. He’d kept his reply simple and to the point

 “You already love our baby Rae, otherwise you wouldn’t be this worried. And as for our baby turning out like you, then we’d be the luckiest parents alive. You amaze me every single day, I fall in love with you more each day.”

 More tears fall, but she smiles softly and Finn thinks maybe he’s finally got it right this time. They make their way into their home, and sit and cuddle on the couch, where after a while Rae confesses that she hasn’t been able to sleep much, and that she’s been so concerned she’s doing something wrong throughout pregnancy. After reassuring her that she’s perfect, he goes and makes her a bur in her favourite mug, and brings down the duvet that she likes. They spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch and when Rae wakes up after a five-hour sleep, she’s a much happier version of herself. He can’t help but bring up her worrying over not bonding with their baby. He explains that it’s nothing to be ashamed of; lots of new mums have experiences with post-natal depression. That if she does end up experiencing it, that it doesn’t make her any less of a mum, and that they will get through it together. She snuggles into his chest, and tells him how much she loves him.

 He’s nearly home now, he picked up his speed while he thought about Rae’s doubts, he wants to be with her all the time. He wonders what this weekend will have in store for them; maybe he could finally lay out the nursery to the layout they had first tried. He knows they’ve got a pile of baby clothes to finish washing before she arrives, maybe this weekend will be the perfect time. He thinks about taking Rae on a late night drive down London for her to see the winter lights. She’ll never admit it, but he knows how much Christmas lights and festivities make her happy and relax her, and while Christmas is another four weeks off, London’s winter wonderland is in full swing. When he gets to his front gate, he notices the living room light is on, he looks at his watch and sees that its twelve thirty-seven in the morning, he wonders maybe she left the light on for him. He quietly unlocks the front door before locking it just as quietly behind him. He takes off his winter boots and unzips his winter coat, before making his way further into the house. He’s freezing without his coat on and he wonders why Rae hasn’t had the heating on. He nudges the living room door open with his hip making his way into the front room and as he goes to place his work bag down on the chair, he notices Rae, buried under a duvet, with every pillow they own around her for support, she’s sat upright, and his neck twinges, the way her head is hanging. Under her eyes look slightly purple and they’re puffy beyond belief, she must be knackered, he begins to think that maybe booking her in at the local spa this weekend would be a better idea than a drive down London. He creeps his way over to her, placing the lightest of kisses to her forehead, and ever so gently pushing her hair behind her ear, but it his tenderness is pointless.

 She jolts awake a look of panic on her face until she realises its just him.

“Didn’t mean to scare you girl. How you feeling? Do you need anything?” Finn whispers, hoping to maintain the relaxed atmosphere, she had going on.

She just smiles and pulls him down to sit next to her. He can’t help but cuddle her.  He notices that she’s breathing deeply; he can’t help but feel guilty, that she’s experiencing all this pain and un-comfortableness, and all he gets is to look forward to the arrival of their little girl. They sit in silence for a while, Finn playing with her hair before she asks him to make her a bru. He kisses her on her head before making his way into the kitchen.

 He realises that their kitchen isn’t as tidy as it was this morning when he left. No there are laundry detergents and cleaning products out. He switches the kettle on and makes his way back through to the living room, where he tells Rae,

“be back down in a sec, just going to get out my work clothes.”

All she does is nod. As he’s walking up their stairs he smells that the upstairs has had a deep clean. He and Rae used to joke about the smell of bleach being the sign of their parents having a day off in each of their houses. Firstly walking past the bathroom he spots that it has undergone a deep clean, the lights been left on, a usual sign if he’s honest, Rae really hates being in the house on her own at night recently. He shuts the bathroom door and makes his way down to their bedroom, it’s a lot tidier than it was this morning, but the bed sheets haven’t been changed. He quickly changes before making his way back out their room, the nursery door catches his eye and he wonders over. The door is pulled to but not shut, and the lights are one. He pushes the door open and the room looks as if a bomb has gone off. Their baby girls clothes are all over the floor in piles, under the windowsill is Rae’s hospital bag, that has been packed and ready for the last three weeks, but not right now, right now it’s contents are all over the floor around it. He sighs, he’s not sure how to bring this up with her this late a night, but he can’t leave it, not when he knows she is struggling this much.

 Making his way back down to deliver Rae her Tea, he spies on her while he walks through their front room. She looks more chilled now than she did when he first arrived home, she’s no longer sat up but instead is lay down. When he reaches the kitchen he flips the kettle back on to re-boil and sets himself busy with the task of preparing Rae’s tea. Once their drinks are ready he wonders back through, turning the kitchen lights off as he goes. The sound of Rae’s cup colliding with the table rouses her from her snooze and she starts to sit up, before Finn tells her its fine. Rae shakes her head no before asking him to sit with her. Of course he obliges, pulling her to lean on his chest. He hands her her tea, which she takes with a smile, and Finn thinks to himself, it’s now or never.

“Have you spent the day cleaning Girl? The smell of bleach up the stairs is potent to say the least” he smiles, and hopes she can pick up the jest in his voice.

 “Yeah, I can’t remember the last time the bathroom had a good clean, and I really wanted a bath, but I just got carried away in there.” she replies, he can tell she’s not being entirely honest, her body is stiff.

 “Wasn’t just the bathroom by the looks of it, our room and the nursery has had a going over to.” He waits for her reply, but it doesn’t come. She’s quiet, like she’s done something wrong. He can’t see her face with the way they’re sitting; he can read her facial expressions, which usually give him a clue as to how she is feeling. He wonders how to move on from this chat, to really get to the important stuff and that’s when he feels the tears dropping onto his arm.

 “Rae. Babe, I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s okay that your cleaning. I thought it was pretty normal; it’s in all the baby books I’ve been reading, although it’s referred to as nesting. The cleaning doesn’t bother me. What happened in babies room Rae? It looks as if somebody’s been in and trashed it.” she sobs harder at this, he pulls her into his chest tighter hoping that her breathing will completely even out, it takes some time, but he hears her counting to 10. Something he hasn’t heard her do for a good few years now. After her eighth go, she relaxes. She takes a sip of her tea before vocalising her worries.

 “I’ll clean it, I didn’t mean for it to end up in a mess like that, I went in to get some of her clothes to wash, and while I was filling the washing basket, I noticed the hospital bag. I dunno what’s got into me but I can’t stop freaking out about missing something. I know we packed that bag together but I just feel like there is something important missing. I was piling it all to re-pack and check off the list as I went, when I needed a wee. And as I stood, I got this sharp pain and I slipped and knocked my piles over.” She stops and breathes, before taking another mouthful of tea before launching back into her explanation. “I was so mad that everything I’d folded and neatly piled had got mixed up, that as I walked to the toilet, I kicked the washing basket over. I don’t know why I’m so angry, I’m just so uncomfortable and my hormones are driving me wild.  I can’t sleep, and when I can’t sleep my old behaviour starts creeping back in. You know I’ve been turning the light switches on and off again. I did intend to go back in an tidy, but then as if I wasn’t already having a right time of it, I hit my hip of the bathroom door knob, and I’ve been in a bit of pain ever since.”

 At this Finn pushes Rae off him before standing, and pulling her up too. She stares at him bewildered by his behaviour, but he carries on, he lifts her night shirt up over her bump and looks at her hips, and that’s where he sees the angry bruise on her right side. “Christ girl that must have been some bang. Do you want to go get checked over?” she shakes her head no. He runs his fingertips softly over the bruise before bending to kiss it, and before her makes his way up he drops a few kisses onto her bump. He pulls Rae’s nightdress back down before kissing her softly. “How long have you really been struggling for? You can tell me things you know, no matter how daft you think they are.”

 Rae nods and explains that she knows. He sits them both back down while they finish their drinks in quiet. Rae yawns and Finn rubs her lower back. Once their teas have been drank, Finn is pulling Rae back up, this time up the stairs, to their bedroom where he sits her, and kisses her head before disappearing. A few seconds later, Rae can hear the bath running and a minute later she can smell lavender. Once the bath stops running Finn is back in the bedroom collecting Rae, he walks her into the dimly lit bathroom, and helps her undress. “I’ll be back in a little while. Call me if you need me okay? I’m just going to sort through a few things.” he says as he helps lower her into the bath. She sighs with content once she’s sunk in. He’s not sure if it’s the warmth of the water, the scent, or the candles, either way he’s happy she can relax.

 His first stop on his mission is their bedroom. Quickly walking over to their wardrobe, he pulls out the bottom draw for fresh sheets. Clearly she hadn’t changed the bed sheets while she was cleaning before as it would be to difficult considering how late on she is with the pregnancy. He tears the old bedding off and makes work of the new, not forgetting to spray both the pillows and the duvet with Rae’s Deep Sleep pillow spay he’d gotten her. She loved the smell of lavender and the first night she’d used it, was the first night in three months, she had slept through.  Carrying their old bed sheets out the room he makes his way to the nursery. He understands now that she hadn’t gone in with the intention of causing such a mess, and it does relax him slightly, however he still is deeply unsettled that she is worrying so much. Non the less, he knows he needs to step it up a little, he makes his way over the biggest pile of baby clothes next to the draws. The second draw down is slightly open and the washing basket is already full. Lifting the washing basket up onto the top of the draws he sees that the clothes in there have already been washed and dried. He pulls open the very to draw and believe it or not, there is nothing in there. All the clothes that belong to that draw have been washed already. ‘She’s really been busy tonight’ he thinks. He works quickly putting their little girls pre-washed clothes into the top draw before loading the now empty washing basket full of the clothes from the pile on the floor. Then he makes his way over to the window, where the hospital bag has been unpacked. He pulls the list over to himself and packs it from top to bottom. Rae was right there was something missing, for they have both missed out her Pyjamas. He quickly wonders back to their room and pulls the bag, which has Rae’s hospital Pyjamas, they brought not to long ago, before going back to the nursery and placing them in the bag to. Once everything looks straight in there he picks up the basket and the hospital bag, flicks the light off and closes the door.

 Walking past the bathroom, he sticks his head around the door to check on Rae, He’s not sure if she has dosed off again, or if she’s that relaxed at the minute she’s as still as she would be if she was sleeping, but he decides against disturbing her. He makes his way down the stairs and leaves the hospital bag at the front door near his shoes, before making his way back through the living room to the kitchen. His first duty here is to fill the washer with the baby clothes. Once they’re in and its started spinning, he starts to put away the cleaning products Rae had been using. He flips the kettle on and starts preparing her a Camomile tea, and pulls a bottle of iced water from the freezer. She had taken to drinking in the night, and with her being warm, iced water helps cool her. He runs into the living room and quickly tidies, putting the cushions back where they belong, and folding the blanket she had been using back over the couch. He takes the two cups from earlier and washes them. Satisfied everything is done for the night, he takes the two drinks upstairs, and places her water next to her side on the bed, before grabbing her a fresh towel and some clean pyjarmas

 Once he’s satisfied that the fresh bedding should keep her slightly relaxed, he makes his was to her, pushing through the bathroom door he notices she’s now sat forward.

“Rae, what’s wrong?” he questions as he rushes over, placing her tea on the side of the bath. She looks over her shoulder at him before smiling with a slight wince, “Nothing, just got a spasm in my lower back is all. It’s easing up now. Is that tea for me?”

Finn shows her a bashful smile, “of course girl, thought you could give camomile a go tonight. See if that helps with you sleeping.”

Rae smiles before picking up the cup and leaning back and enjoying the tea. Once she has drunk it, she hands Finn the cup, before asking if he can help her out. Finn kisses her head before pulling the plug. As the water is running down the drain, he prepares her towel and pyjamas, before deciding that helping her dress in the bathroom doesn’t make much sense. He helps her stand and wraps her towel around her. Stopping to give her a kiss on her lips.

“Wrap your arms around my neck girl.” he directs as he lifts her in his arms and carries her through to their room. Placing her on the edge of their bed he backtracks to the bathroom to gather her Pyjamas. When he reaches Rae again, he finds her naked. ‘She’s so beautiful, I love her so much.’ he thinks.

“Stop staring it freaks me out” Rae giggles, Finn giggles to before stopping and telling her his train of thought.

“I can’t stop staring, you’re beautiful, the most beautiful person I’ve ever saw.” she blushes and grabs her pyjarmas off him before telling him she doesn’t think she’ll wear any tonight. “The most beautiful person, who’s trying to kill me while she sleeps next to me naked.” he corrects himself. He pulls back the covers and motions for her to get in. Once she’s layback he covers her and tells her he’ll be back he’s just going to brush his teeth. He switches the light off while he’s on his way out, and kicks the switch on with his toe. He hears her faint sigh.

He washes up and makes his way back to their room, which is now only lit by the dozens of fairy lights across the far wall of their room. When they had finally had their mortgage accepted, Rae had gone out and brought as many of the things she could find, telling Finn she had wanted them ever since he had decorated his room with them for her one night. He removes his joggers at the foot of the bed before crawling in next to her. Before he’s even settled Rae is cuddling up to him, her head on his chest.

“Thanks for changing the sheets, and the bath and for the lights, it’s so relaxing, I don’t think I can stay awake any longer, especially with you using the spray.” she lays a kiss on his chest before snuggling down. “Night girl. Love you.” he replies after laying kiss after kiss on her head. He thinks she replies ‘love you too’ but she’s that far off in dreamland he can’t be sure.

 Its 4:32am when he starts to come too. The angry green numbers on their alarm clock disturbing his slumber, he feels across the bed for her but comes up empty handed. Sitting up to look around he rubs his eye with his right hand. “Rae” he calls but there’s no answer.

Getting out of bed he walks to the landing, the lights are out bar one coming from the nursery. He makes his way over, and finds her sat on the floor. Her shoulders, softly shaking as she cries.

“Babe, couldn’t sleep?” he questions as he sits behind her pulling her back into his chest. She nods. “Its all right girl, how do you feel about a little drive then?” she doesn’t reply just sniffs.

“You tided my mess up? I would have done it Finn, you already did so much. I’m sorry I’m so emotional lately.”

“Its no trouble Rae, I’m pretty sure you’ve spent the last eight years tidying after me.” He’s glad when she chuckles.  “I can’t sleep, it’s driving me mad. I just can’t seem to think what I’ve left out of the hospital bag. Talking of where have you put it?”  

“Shit Rae I’m sorry I forgot to tell you. Your Pyjamas were missing. They’re packed and it’s at the front door for when the time comes.” she’s full on laughing now, surprised that its actually something minor that has caused her this amount of insomnia.

“Fucking figures”, she replies, Finn thinks she wants to say more but before she can she’s wincing again.

“Is it your back?” he questions and all she can do is nod. “Come on then girl back to bed.” Helping her up they make their way back to bed. Where once again Rae snuggles into him. He can’t be sure who falls asleep first this time.

 He’d woken around 8am to Rae wriggling around in her sleep, he’d loosened himself from her and gone and got the hot water bottle for her. She had woken enough to take it off him and thank him, before snuggling into him once more and falling into a deep slumber again. Finn couldn’t sleep knowing she was so uncomfortable, so he took to taking little naps in-between waking to check on her. After a few hours of dosing, when Rae hadn’t moved for a while, he thought he’d maybe try and get another hour of so in. He’s not sure how long he managed to sleep for before; he woke to a wet warm feeling on his leg, which was between Rae’s. But when she woke with a whimper and a loud moan, and the words, “it’s time” leaving her mouth; he had never been happier that her bag was packed and at the door waiting to be grabbed.  

@eveerez @kneekeyta @lily-pop-2 @mmfdfanfic

#mmfd #mmfdfanfic #Rinn

[themikewheelers]

In the dark we’ll lay, in your arms I’ll stay

Mike creaked open the door to the nursery, looking for the familiar mess of curls that had been missing from beside him when he woke up. It must’ve been some time past 3AM, but ever since their daughter, Lily, had been born, Mike and El’s sleep schedules had been gradually becoming more and more irregular. 

When El’s side of the bed was empty, Mike knew exactly where she must be. Neither of them had been sleeping all that well lately, taking care of a three-month-old baby made sure of that, but at least Mike had been getting as much rest as he could in the breaks between changing and feeding and bathing her. El, on the other hand, hadn't even been trying to sleep. More and more nights Mike had found her curled up with her back against Lily’s crib, fighting exhaustion while wanting to stay awake in case her daughter needed her.

It made Mike’s heart swell to see. When El had found out she was pregnant a year ago, it didn't take long for the insecurity to drip in. She had so little experience with babies, and she certainly had no idea how to be a mom. Mike spent all those months reassuring her that she’d be amazing at it, and since Lily was born El just proved that, becoming the most dedicated, loving mother around, even when that selflessness had started to hurt her. Mike was worried about his wife. The amount of sleepless nights had been piling up. She’d been wearing herself thin in the effort to make sure Lily was always safe.

El turned around when she heard the nursery door creak. She was cradling her baby in her arms, rocking her back and forth by the window.

“Shhh,” She quieted Mike, and he stopped dead in his tracks, not wanting to move another inch or make any noise, “I just got her to sleep.”

Mike couldn't pretend to ignore the growing bags under her eyes. Darkness from outside came creeping through the windows, making the normally bright and lively room feel a lot more somber. The yellow walls were dimmed, the only light coming from the lamp on the dresser.

Mike stepped towards his wife, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He buried his nose into her curls, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Quiet moments like this were becoming increasingly rare, rather being replaced with the constant sounds of a screaming baby, so the peaceful moments were much appreciated. El leaned her head back against Mike. Her eyes shut as her body relaxed after all the stress of the day.

“She can sleep in her crib, you know. You don't have to stay up yourself to hold her.” Mike leaned away to gesture towards the empty crib across the room, and El struggled to open her eyes as the weights on her eyelids kept pressing down.

“I don't like to leave her,” El whispered back, her voice hushed as not to wake the sleeping child, “You know that.”

Mike did know that. It all came back to one of those fateful nights back before Lily was born. El was about 6 months pregnant at the time, and the realization that in just a few months they would really be parents was starting to sink in. Overwhelmed with nerves, Mike and El found themselves most nights curled up beneath their blankets, venting out their fears to one another in the dark, reassuring the other everything would be fine while simultaneously wondering how they’d ever handle this themselves.

It was on one of those nights they were up late together talking that El came clean about one of her biggest fears about the baby, if they would have her powers, and if they did, how could El protect them. She didn't want to end up like her own mother, her child taken from her and being sent into endless despair for years searching for them, but she had no idea how to prevent that. If somehow the bad men found out she was pregnant, even if El herself wasn't in danger of them coming after her anymore, what if they wanted her child?

Even after Lily was born, those fears remained. She was three months old now, and hadn't yet shown any sign of harboring the same abilities as her mother, and there hadn't been any government workers come to take her away, but El couldn't seem to let her fear go. Mike had told her she was just being protective, those were her mom-instincts kicking in to take care of their daughter, but even if that was the case, El couldn't help the way anxiety flooded throughout her body whenever she was away from Lily. She was scared she would turn her back one day, and then when she turned around, woosh, Lily would be gone, taken to some new lab to be prodded and examined while El was stuck searching for a daughter she'd never find.

She knew her fears were illogical, and they manifested themselves in ridiculous ways, but that knowledge didn't ease them. She knew she shouldn't have any reason to worry, she should be able to go sleep in her own bed for a night while Lily slept alone in her room, but whenever she tried that, the nightmares that came with it weren't worth the rest.

“I wanna apologize to my dad.” She leaned her head further back so it was resting on Mike’s shoulder behind her.

“Hm?”

“For being so mad at him for protecting me when we were kids. For keeping me in the cabin. I get it now.” El lifted her head so she could look down at Lily, “I don't understand how he was as calm as he was. I'd be going out of my mind if that was Lily and I in that situation. Doing everything I could to make sure she’s safe, even if it drove her crazy.”

El had enough fears about someday having to go into hiding with her family to protect Lily, like she had to go into hiding back when she was a kid. The thought terrified her, and as aggravating as it had been when she was younger, she never before realized just how nerve-wracking it all must have been for Hopper. She'd always known he did it to protect her, but now that she had a daughter of her own to protect and could see it from a parent’s perspective, it really began to make sense.

Mike lifted his arms, still wrapped around El, to grab onto one of El’s hands and one of Lily’s. Lily squeezed onto his finger in her sleep, and he couldn't help but break into a doofy grin, the two girls he loved most in the world holding onto him. “We can go visit Hop soon, if you want.”

Mike didn't admit it, but he missed Hopper himself. The two weren't always so close, but when Mike’s relationship with El had become more serious when they were teenagers and he started spending so much time with her and Hopper, they began to bond. They had almost nothing in common besides the fact that they both cared for Eleven, but Hop was quick to induct him into the family. Especially when things got bad at home with his parents, it was nice having someone like Hop to rely on. Not to mention, Hopper was great with Lily. He spoiled his granddaughter like a queen and was always looking forward to seeing her.

El smiled and nodded her head. Her and Mike had been living in their small apartment in Indianapolis for years now, and though it was only an hour drive from Hawkins, El missed everybody back home. They tried to visit as much as they could, but bringing Lily made that a bit more complicated, so their visits had decreased the last few months.

“El?”

“Mhm?”

“You need to sleep.”

El turned around to argue with him that she was fine and she wasn't even tired, that she's used to not getting enough sleep and it doesn't matter. But when she turned to face her husband and looked into his annoyingly omniscient eyes she knew there was no use. He could read her like a book; she couldn't lie to him even if she wanted to.

Those damn eyes she loved so much, staring down at her, knowing exactly what she was thinking. “I just wanna stay here with Lily” El tried to argue, but Mike ignored her.

“Lily doesn't need you hovering over her all the time. What she needs is a mom who's happy and healthy and not sleep-deprived that can take care of her. You're not helping her by wearing yourself thin, you're just hurting the both of you.”

El knew he was right, and she hated that. She knew there was no use in trying to debunk that, but it didn't change the fact that when she looked down at her little girl in her arms, she couldn't imagine leaving her.

“Look at her.” El rocked the baby in her arms, her thumb rubbing back and forth across Lily’s arm, “She's so little and innocent. No one’s ever hurt her yet. I don't want her first time getting hurt to be because I left her alone and couldn't protect her.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Mike stopped her, grabbing onto her shoulders and pulling her closer to him, “That's not gonna happen. She’s safe, and nothing’s ever gonna hurt her while she’s got the two of us just down the hallway.”

He wrapped her in a loose hug with Lily between them before kissing her forehead and continuing, “She's gonna be a fighter, okay? Just like her mom. And until then, she's got us to fight for her. But we can't take care of her if we're so tired we can't even take care of ourselves.”

El nodded her head, closing her eyes and finally allowing herself to feel all the exhaustion she'd been trying to push away lately. Her whole body felt like lead, a headache was pounding against her forehead. If she hadn't been holding Lily then, she was sure she would have collapsed onto Mike right there and had him carry her back to their room.

Mike seemed to sense this, and scooped Lily from her arms, “Go to bed, alright? I'll sit with Lily for a few minutes, if she wakes up I'll read her a story or something and put her back to sleep.”

El was too tired to form a response, nodding her head slightly before sluggishly dragging herself out of the room. She could barely even open her eyes, making the trip from the nursery to her bedroom by memory instead of relying on her sight to guide her.

Mike set Lily down in her crib, and watched her in awe for a minutes, wondering how he became so lucky for something to have gone so right in his life to bring him to this moment, with the best family he ever could wish for.

And when he made it back his bedroom 10 minutes later, he was glad to find his wife passed out under a hoard of blankets. Smiling, he laid down next to her and pulled her closer to him. If she was going to steal all the blankets, then he would steal her body heat after all. She grumbled in her sleep slightly, but then buried her face deep into his chest.

For once, everybody in the apartment was asleep. Everybody was peaceful, everybody was silent.

Tag List: @bbc-radio-phan @jiwa-de-kutsi @theamiableanachronism @sunflowertozier @littledancersun @justthatfan @el-hoppers @alwaysmebeforeyou @paladin-wheeler @hilolabear @puzzlingsnark @bellstiles @coneygoil @kisu Message me or shoot me an ask if you wanna be added or taken off the tag list !!!

#this was supposed to be like a 400 word drabble but newsflash asshole ive never been short and simple for ANYTHING in my LIFE #mileven #stranger things #mike wheeler #el hopper #i was having a lotta feelings about grown up mike and el today so i hadda quickly write smth for it

[xiaohaos]

Father to be! Soonyoung

Inspired by @cheollies your drabbles r so cute OMG I wanna die!

Genre: fluff/angst This ended up being so much longer than I intended fml

- the way he approached you when he wanted to ask about having kids was so cute - You were just spooning in bed under a pile of blankets - He was stroking your hair softly - At first he whispered it , so you couldn’t really hear - Then he used his free hand to intertwine his fingers with yours - And he mumbled - “Do you think we’re ready to have children?” - And soonyoung is a very forward person so it surprised you that he was nervous about it - You squeezed his hand and told him your were pretty much ready if he was by your side - (Oh my god the cheese) - Let’s say y’all had a pretty great time that night - But obviously things don’t happen instantaneously - And fast forward 9 months later, there are still no signs of a baby kwon - The stress was taking a toll on you and even though Hoshi was v v EAGER to do bedtime stuff with you - It was getting pretty exhausting for you and it was creating tension in your relationship - For the past few months, you’d brush the negatives as just another trial - But worries had built up in your mind that you never told him - So after seeing another negative sign on a test, you just broke down crying - And Soonyoung was there beside you immediately, at least on the other side of the door banging on it, to make you let him go in. - You eventually opened the door, to see no traces of his usual smiley gaze on his face - Instead he furrowed his eyebrows, eyes flitting to the test and back to your face streaked with dried tears and made a connection - He engulfs you in a hug, rubbing circles on your back soothingly - “There’s always next month, right?” - But his voice is wavering, as though he’s unsure of it himself - Because like you, he’s pondered before his dance classes, when he gets there early, If the reason why you were so unsuccessful was because there was something wrong with him. - What if it never happens? - the unspoken question between the both of you was voiced out. - You were so sick of keeping quiet that you told him out right. - The outpouring of feelings kept to yourselves took place and by the end of the conversation, you sighed and said. - “Jagiya, let’s take a break. This stress isn’t good for either of us.” - And it was a very relaxing break - The both of you spent more time concentrating on each other than any potential new additions to the family - Your anniversary just so happened to fall in the same month and you and soonyoung managed to have a get away (budget) mini holiday to an onsen in Japan. - There was a private bath in your suite ;) - The both of you forgot about your little break and decided to just let loose. - Who knew that letting loose actually worked. - That day you had just taken a test because you’d felt a little off for the past week but surely you couldn’t be - Obviously you were proved wrong as a few minutes later you were staring mouth agape and heart pounding ferociously against your ribcage - You swung the door open with a slam and yelled - “SOONYOUNG-AH, come here, I think my eyes are fooling me.” - “What is it?” He asks when he reaches the bathroom door, already grinning from ear to ear. - You tilt the test so he can clearly see the indicator and you swore you saw a tear escape from his eye. - Actually you did see at least a thousand slip from his eyes as he began bawling, tightly embracing you and twirling you around. - “ Y/N WE’RE GOING TO BE PARENTS!” - And you thought you were going to be the emotional one. - He practically yells it everyone he sees - “MY JAGI’S HAVING MY BABY!” - “Soonyoung-ah, you’re embarrassing meee….” - Pregnancy wasn’t easy on your body to say the least - Emotionally, you were easily irritable, getting frustrated with Soonyoung whenever he came home a tad late from the studio, or if he made a harmless joke about you. - Physically, you were hit by a massive wave of morning sickness that didn’t not dissipate after the first trimester. There were also several scares that made Soonyoung speed to the hospital as fast as possible in panic. And you were put on partial bed rest due to genetic problems. - This made you even more furious at everybody, being cooped up in the apartment most of the time. Though Soonyoung made sure that at least one of the boys came to visit you from time to time, especially when he was working late - All this made you an extremely nervous wreck as well, on edge that something might happen. - This also made Soonyoung take more time off work to baby you because if anything happened he’d blame himself the most. - He just wanted to keep this baby so bad - He always unconsciously has his hand on you belly at all times, especially when you were further into the pregnancy. - Every time he found you hunched over the toilet bowl, retching your guts out, he’d rub your back and make sure you felt better. - Horny asshole tried to keep it in his pants as much as possible but you tried it once and boy was it an experience for the both of you. - Cried at the first ultrasound - Carries the photo in his wallet - Constantly shoves it in Wonwoo’s face whenever he gets the chance to - “Look at their teeny hands” - “Soonyoung shut up, I’ve seen that like seventeen times,” - “I KNOW, but that’s my little bean you’re looking at.” - Comes up with the cutest motherfluffing nicknames for the baby - Bean, star, tiger - He accidentally called them beanie once and then started laughing because he thought of wonwoo - Goes along for birthing classes because he thinks they’re really cool. - *starts imitating breathing exercises* isn’t this what you’ll have to do during labour - You want to punch him but can’t because he looks so adorable with his puffed up cheeks and squinty eyes - YOU BET he wants to know the gender as soon (young) as possible. - You guys have a gender reveal party cos why not? - Any excuse to gather all the guys in one room, is a valid excuse for a get together - Even though they’ll be extremely rowdy and extra - Cheol, MINGYU and Seungkwan can’t keep their hands off your slowly growing belly - Seokmin starts doing anything to make you laugh cos he’s highkey scared of you in mood swings because of what he heard from Soonyoung. - Jeonghan low-key hints that he wants to be like you because he wants to lie around all day too - You highkey want to slap him cos having constant back aches and feeling uncomfortable 24/7 is not fun - Joshua is trying to claim the godfather spot - Chan and Hansol r slightly weirded out by it and would much prefer when the baby can crawl around so that they can play with them - But chan’s excited cos his favourite Hyung is having a baby and the baby will practically be his niece/nephew - Jun, Minghao, Jihoon and Wonwoo are so indifferent because they hear about it all the time and are so used to it that they just hold normal conversation with you. - you and soonyoung already know the gender before revealing the answer to everyone else in the room and it’s - A BABY BOY! - Soonyoung is already planning everything he’s going to pass on to his son - Sebongies r shook as they’re going to have a mini sebongie running around - That night is when you felt the baby’s first kick, at night whilst lying in bed trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in - You put a sleepy soonyoung’s hand on your belly to feel the baby’s movements and immediately he’s awake when he feels a jolt - But instead of him feeling in awe with his eyes full of adoration like you are, he looks worried. - “Doesn’t that hurt?” - And you almost burst into tears because holy shit does this boy care about you - “It does a little,” you admit. “But if you rub it, it’ll feel better.” - Tbh you only said that because you LOVE his belly rubs - And his hand stayed there the whole night - You guys go baby shopping together one weekend and suddenly he becomes the fashion advisor of your son. - Picks out the cutest dungarees and even a matching beret (sorry not sorry) for him - He sees the baby carriers and prams and drags you there, immediately begging to get the coolest one there - You oblige but only because you can’t say no to him - There was one night after you binged ate a bunch of unhealthy snacks, you felt incredibly insecure about all the weight you gained and refused to change in front of him, even though you usually weren’t self conscious around him. - He immediately noticed as you stared yourself down in the mirror, and backhugged you. Whispering all the things he loved about your body. - “And I especially love, the fact that you’re carrying my son in there.” He mumbles holding your tummy in his hands. - Istg this boi - He will always without a doubt get you the food you’re craving, you don’t even have to say it and he’s already on it. - He’s basically the sweetest. - Talks to your belly so so much, about anything and everything. You pretend to sleep just to hear him promise to give the world to your son, sometimes bringing tears to your eyes and exposing yourself - “JAGI that was only meant for him to hear!” - Remember when I said you were always on edge for something to happen - Well something did happen - You woke up in the middle of the night feeling slightly crampy and crappy, adjusting your legs slight, you felt something wet between them - You bit your lip hoping for the best but when you turned on your bedside lamp , you saw that your fingers were slightly stained red and so were your sheets - Panicked, you shook soonyoung awake, speaking in a hushed tone. - “Soonyoung, I’m bleeding.” - His eyes shot open, terrified, like his worst fear was coming through - He helped you to car as much as he could, hastily driving to the hospital where he frantically tried to get medical attention for you. - The doctor delivered the news, the baby was healthy and alive but you had placenta previa ( where the placenta is blocking the cervix ) causing the slight bleeding - Bad news was that you most likely wouldn’t be able to deliver naturally and would probably have a caesarean. Which was fine with soonyoung because he just wanted a healthy baby but hard on you because you’d heard about the magical birth stories and wanted one like that - You were kept in the hospital overnight so that they could monitor you, and on full bed rest now which dampened your mood even further. - “So no more sex for now, eh?” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. - But you just turned away from him and shut your eyes so you wouldn’t have to think anymore - So you spent the whole night sleeping on the bed alone while he squeezed himself on the couch in the room - When the time came for you to be discharged, he grabbed your hand quietly and led you back to the car where he drove back home in silence. - After getting back home, you shut yourself in your room and cried into the pillow. He tried coaxing you out but to no avail, he only saw your face during meal times. - He got advice from Jun to just give you some space, and that’s exactly what he did, only talking to you when necessary. - It created a rift in your relationship, some nights with him just sleeping in the half built nursery cos he couldn’t bare to be on the same bed but not be able to cuddle you. - It was a week after where he couldn’t take it anymore, venting out his frustrations on Chan during dance lessons earlier that day. - He didn’t deserve to get yelled at but Soonyoung couldn’t help it - Not talking to his closed off wife was killing him. - He stomped home, flinging the door open. - “Why the fuck are we not talking about this?” He yelled - Which probably wasn’t the best way to address the elephant in the room. - You were sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through the tv channels, spaced out - You jumped when you were abruptly snapped out of your thoughts by a vehement soonyoung. - “About what,” you cowered in slight fear. - His features softened as he saw the scared look on your face. - “Everything? You? Me? Our Son? You’re supposed to be able to talk to me y/n, not push me away.” - “It’s only this once, jagi…” - “That’s not true and you know it. You were doing it when we weren’t able to conceive.” - “That’s because I’M AFRAID!” - “WELL SO AM I,” - He kneels down, pulling on bunches of his black hair. - “I know you’re upset about everything that’s been thrown our way, and you have every right to blame me because it was my idea in the first place. But please, don’t block me out.” - You start weeping, wailing and shrieking about everything that’s happened so far and he just envelops you, calming you down and stroking you hair. - “It’s going to be okay.” - The both of you fell asleep on the couch, soonyoung hugging you close, never wanting to lose this feeling again. - he starts making sure he spends more and more time with you at home, making chan, Minghao and Jun to take some of his classes for him, even asking jihoon to pitch in from time to time. - When he really couldn’t be at home, he makes wonwoo go over and hang out with you just because he can’t trust you to make sure you were only doing light work. - And wonwoo is so chill about everything - Drops random facts about pregnancy - “Soonyoung made me read that for him” - Finally finishes the nursery in time for the doctors appointment that will decide the birth of the baby. - Unfortunately, the placenta was still stubbornly over your cervix, so an elective caesarean was necessary. - Soonyoung held you for the rest of the day, whether it be around your waist, or a full on embrace, consoling your sobs and kissing you on your cheeks or mouth, murmuring about how strong you were. - It got a bit insufferable seeing him every hour of every day and he tried giving you space for you to breathe, but he couldn’t help pampering you and doting on his son. - You couldn’t even put your two feet on the ground for 30 seconds before he started complaining. - When your first contractions started, you freaked out because your c-section wasn’t scheduled until next week. - You screamed for soonyoung and in an instant he was there. - The cramping started again and you cried out, clutching on to your belly, some blood trickling down your leg - “It hurts so bad. I think I’m in Labour, jagi help.” - Soonyoung who had been briefed beforehand, when the doctor pulled him aside, instantaneously picked you up in his arms without a word and carried you to the car. - He continuously checked on you as he once again hurriedly drove to the hospital, your eyes squinted shut, face contorted into one of pain - He wished that he had every power in the world to alleviate the pain but this was one of those times where he was completely helpless in the situation. - He had informed your consultant before he got into the car about the situation and she was already waiting there for your arrival. - They whisked you away in a wheelchair and shoved some scrubs into Soonyoung’s hands, ushering him to go and change. - You wished soonyoung was there to help you get your spinal block but you couldn’t complain as it relieved your pain immediately. - It wasn’t until you were being prepped for surgery did you finally see him push his way through the doors and rush to your side. - He looked so ridiculous wearing those medical garments that you wanted to laugh. - The laugh was muffled though, due to oxygen mask over your mouth - The corners of his eyes crinkled as he saw you giggling at him - Hoshi tried not to reveal his inner feelings as to not scare you even more, he knew that the caesarean was a major surgery that came with complications that could occur - He just let his excitement to see his son override the rest of his emotions - He grabbed your hand began talking to you non stop as a distraction as they were about to begin the incision. - He asked if you were okay when you instinctively scrunched up your face - “It just felt weird that’s all.” - You dared him to look over the curtain and he immediately paled and sat back down, gripping your hand with two hands now - He’s pretty sure he saw one of your organs, yikes. - The both of you definitely cried when the baby first cried. - You both saw him and knew you couldn’t love anything else more than him in this entire world. - Tears in your eyes, you looked at soonyoung and smiled, mouthing “he’s finally here.” - Soonyoung got to hold him first, while you were still being sewed up and in recovery. - You requested for skin to skin contact much to his dismay, so he had to embarrassedly take off his shirt in front of a giggling nurse, before holding his son close to his chest. - He felt the warmth blooming inside of him and protective instincts immediately coming into play as he cradled his son. - He fell asleep with his son on his chest. - Isn’t that the fucking cutest thing you could ever imagine - Half an hour later, you were wheeled in and almost burst into tears again, seeing your husband cuddling with your son. - You stared at them lovingly, observing the rise and fall of Soonyoung’s chest as he rested. - He slowly awoke, a few minutes after you were in the room and smiled sleepily at you. - “He’s perfect.” - He was reluctant to let go of his son but he knew he couldn’t say no to you so he passed the baby over to you and watched you with absolute adoration on his features - You were a natural. - He supported your back as you held your son, smiling excessively as you cooed and brushed your fingers against the baby’s cheek. - It wasn’t until evening that visitors started streaming in slowly, your parents, your in-laws (who came bearing food) and finally the Seventeen boys who had to be shushed several times by nurses passing by. - They basically played pass the parcel with the baby boy as he travelled from one uncle to the other - “I can’t believe hoshi’s the first one out of all of us to have a child.” - Seungcheol announces to everyone in the room - “I’m taking no offence to that.” - There was a point where no one could stop the baby from crying except for Chan, who pacified him so easily it was like he was born to do it. - “HAH THE BABY LIKES ME THE BEST SUCKERS” - Seungkwan , Jisoo and Mingyu couldn’t stop cooing over him - And Minghao was just constantly complaining that when the baby was to go to the studio, they would be the ones to hear annoying crying all day. - When all the sebongies filtered out of the room, Jihoon leaving last, and the baby was wheeled off to the nursery was when soonyoung squeezed himself into the hospital bed - You leaned on his shoulder and fell asleep, knowing that you’d made the right decision in starting a family with him

Bonus round (cos this thing was wayyy more angsty than I planned): - after your scar is healed, soonyoung loves kissing it and your stretch marks, constantly mentioning how proud he is of you. - Him fumbling with feeding the baby for the first time because he didn’t want to drop the child - Him immediately wanting another one when your child begins to struggle out of his grasps because he misses cuddling a little baby - but you’re like “hold your horses, cowboy!” - Him snuggling with his son more than you and you get jealous but the sight is so cute that you can’t complain - Just an overall fluffy as hell dad.

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen dad imagines #dad!soonyoung #hoshi #dad!hoshi #hoshi fluff #seventeen fluff #hoshi scenarios #svt #svt scenarios

[littlesnowarrow]

Security fail, pt1

So... I did a thing. Yesterday (for me, as I’m writing this) was @saibrarutherford‘s birthday, and because she’s the sweetest lady around, I wanted to give her something for her special day. 

It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it has turned out too long (and I still haven’t finished it after working on it for a full month), so I’ll be dividing it in three parts. Because yeah.

Security fail part 1 

Next Part

Summary: Saibra Trevelyan returns home from an exhausting mission in Orlais, as usual, when she finds out that some things have been happening in her dear stronghold. But, who is responsible for them?

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: None.

AO3 Link

Grammar and vocabulary corrections are always welcome.

Saibra was worn out. Like every time she returned from Orlais; those people truly only knew how to complain about each other and plot in that Game everyone seemed to enjoy playing save her. And she had just been a couple of days out. But she couldn’t go to her quarters yet. The required meeting at the War Room with her advisors was about to begin, and she really wished it would end soon so she could slip under her blankets and sleep at least for a whole day.

And… there was something she wanted to check by herself. Cullen, Josephine and her were waiting for the rest to arrive, using the time to check how many rifts were left in the map. Or at least she tried, because the Antivan was was so distressed it was impossible not to wonder what had gotten into her. She had been shifting from one foot to the other, fidgeting even, and she would have paced if she had been accompanied by people less observant. Suddenly, something seemed to change her mind, as she approached Saibra and leaned very close to her ear, very careful her words wouldn’t reach the Commander.

“Inquisitor…” She gaped a couple of times, but she couldn’t find the words with which she so naturally got on. Saibra would have worried hadn’t been for the intense red colour that darkened even more her skin. “You should know that your Spymaster is an incorrigible prankster.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Leliana said behind them. Both women turned to her startled since they hadn’t heard her enter. Josie’s blush became more intense when she saw the Nightingale’s angelic smile.

“No?” the Ambassador was starting to lose her temper. “My… my things! In the courtyard!”

Saibra stifled a snort. So it was true. Everyone in Skyhold had seen the new flag in the courtyard had been replaced by someone’s frilly undergarments, who no doubt belonged to Lady Montilyet. They had only hung there, graciously waving with the cool mountain breeze, until lunchtime, when the Ambassador had taken a break from her usual pile of paperwork in her office. The deed itself and her loud shriek had been the object of the rumors that were heard through the valley in the last few days, something her Commander had told her as soon as Saibra had gotten down from Solace.

“The ruffles were very festive.” Her grin widened, and her lips showed the tip of her fangs, like a predator that was having fun with her prey.

“Leliana!” she protested.

“What’s the matter?” asked Cassandra in her thick Nevarran accent.

“Our Lady Ambassador was victim of a serious attack against her intimacy at the beginning of the week, soon after your departure to Orlais,” Cullen answered. “And Leliana seems to be the one at fault.”

“Certainly I’m not.” Leliana huffed and crossed her arms before her chest. “If you must blame someone, it should be Sera. I’ve told her many times not to involve my agents in her businesses.”

And then, the Nightingale frowned. Everyone in the room exchanged a concerned look between them; it wasn’t usual for the redhead to reveal her train of thought that openly. Her unyielding mask began to crack bit by bit as she seemed to realise something the others didn’t.

“Sera could have arranged the banner incident, but she left with you, so it’s impossible she’s been able to organise the rest.” Her voice had become a low and dangerous growl that made their hair stand on end.

“Which ‘rest’?” Cassandra was the only one with enough courage to try to interact with her. Josie gasped at Saibra’s side, and her face turned pale when only five minutes ago had been of the same colour of the brightest pepper in the kitchen. Leliana answered with a nod.

“I’m afraid we have a joker in the hold, Inquisitor,” she announced.

“Meaning?”

“There have been some incidents since your leaving, now that Leliana mentions it.” This time it was Cullen speaking. “We all thought it had been Sera’s doing but-”

Little by little, the three advisors tried to summarise what had been going on during these days, taking Josie’s undergarments as the starting point. A lot had happened: from changing the tea sugar for salt lumps or emptying wine bottles -the cheap ones though- for coloured water to having placed food leftovers inside of each mattress that existed in the entire fortress. Or dusting stinging powder inside socks, disassembling chairs and benches so they would break by just sitting on them… Even putting bells on Baron Plucky.

That had personally infuriated the Spymaster, who had sworn she would take care of the rogue elf’s punishment. Not even Bull, whom they had hidden the patch and painted an eye on his scar, had any idea of who the culprit could be, nor the reasons that were driving them to commit those… pranks.

And it was true. Sera liked to play, but she had never dared with such scale. As they kept telling the facts, a feeling of restlessness began to fill Saibra from head to toe. Whoever was doing all that clearly didn’t have to intention to harm them, but it could be an strategy to distract them while some tragedy happened somewhere? Corypheus couldn’t be that smart, could he?

“They seem to have been merciless with everyone, without a clear target,” finished Josephine.

“But whoever they are, they must have spent a lot of time among us to get to know our weaknesses,” Cullen pointed out.

Not everyone. Although the whole of Skyhold had been flown off the handle, Saibra and her family had gotten out of it. It could be said that Vastra had had her share; a couple of nights ago, her sister found her children eating a box full of chocolates right before bedtime. The dawn had come and the little girls still hadn’t gone to bed, no matter how many tricks Vastra used with them. When she accepted it was impossible to calm them down, she ordered Jim to take care of them while she went to take a long and well-deserved nap. And nothing had happened to Cullen as well, at least not yet.

“I will personally see this matter dealt with if you allow me, Inquisitor.” Leliana offered.

Saibra was too tired, especially after that long series of unfortunate events, so she simply nodded in agreement and concluded the council.

***

Saibra dragged her feet through the hallways of her fortress, nodding or slightly bowing her head to answer the greetings of the people she run into. She needed a warm mug of tea and a calming bath with some special salts Josie had received. The pouch gave off a pleasant smell of camomile, lavender and orange, and with only a small sniff she was feeling a bit more revitalised.

The walk from the War Room to her bedroom had never felt so long, and on her way she couldn’t help but think about the recent events. The prankster had been clever to put Sera on the spot from the beginning, and lucky that everyone thought she was guilty when she probably didn’t even hang Josie’s famous underthings in the courtyard. And yet the prankster had raised the spirits of her people; she heard them tell stories of what had happened to one’s partner or the kitchen help. Her favourite so far was the explosion in Dagna’s lab that had covered the cave with a permanent glitter impossible to wash away.

But Saibra didn’t felt observed nor threatened; maybe those days in Orlais had immunised her against dirty tricks and back-stabbing for some time. Surely the joker was already gone and far from there, though never outside Leliana’s reach. She decided to pray for their souls and hope Leliana’s punishment were to be somewhat merciful.

She left the room half closed for when Cullen returned from his office, and climbed each step as she couldn’t climbed the next one. When she finally reached the top, she was disappointed to see the bathtub wasn’t ready. The hearth wasn’t even lit to heat the water. Odd. Despite her arrivals always caused a big fuss, the staff made sure her relaxing ritual was prepared for when she dropped the Inquisitor’s armour on her bed. Maybe there had been a mishap. Maybe the prankster had striked in the servants quarters today…! But if that would have occurred, they would have been informed during the council. So, she shrugged and began undressing to a more comfortable outfit.

After a brief moment, someone knocked downstairs. Neither Cullen, Vastra or her nieces ever asked for permission to come in, so it was probably Dorian. She allowed him to come up the stairs while she casted a tiny fireball to lit the hearth. Saibra giggled under her breath; she knew how much her Commander hated it when she used her magic unnecessarily, but Maker she needed that bath.

A head poked out from the stair’s railing, at first cautiously and then more freely. It was an elf, Dalish judging by the tattoo that covered her face, and her dark brown hair tied in a high ponytail that showed a pair of moving ears. Her eyes were of a deep bright green, wrinkled at the corners because of the mirthful smile she was offering to her.

“I’m terribly sorry, your Worship. I was required somewhere else, so I couldn’t prepare the bathtub on time.”

“It’s okay. If you’re still busy I can do it myself.”

“Please no! I’d never let the Inquisitor carry these heavy buckets by herself.” The elf hurried and gently pushed her away from the heated water. Saibra examined her from top to bottom, curious if she was talking seriously; she was so short and thin she would break if she lifted the buckets. But contrary to her expectations, the elf did her job without a single sign of pain or trouble.

When the bath was ready, Saibra shrugged off her silken robe and tested the temperature with the tip of her toes before finally dropping in. The water was exquisite, warm with a subtle colder current that gave her goosebumps all over her legs. She could still hear the elf moving around and doing this and that, never fully pausing for longer than a couple of seconds. She unpacked her travel bag, shook her cloak to dust the dirt of the road and filled a brazier to warm her bed. Somehow everything reminded her of when she was a child, and her mama would prepare them to go to bed after a long day playing in the Trevelyan manor courtyard.

She was almost dozing off when the elf stopped behind her and poured Josie’s bath salts. The crystals tickled her skin before adapting to the water’s temperature, causing them to dissolve into that marvelous smell of citrus. A pair of hands unexpectedly run along her shoulders in a slow massage. Her fingers were cold, and knew exactly how much pressure she had to put to undo the contractures in her shoulders. Saibra began humming out of pleasure, without minding if that stranger could see her in an almost vulnerable state.

“Is it comforting, your Worship? I might not have healing magic, but they say my hands can do wonders.” she whispered. Saibra sighed in response. “Is it alright if I move to the head?”

“Please…” she finished with a soft groan as soon as the elf began rubbing along her scalp with a chuckle. There was a moment in which she touched certain point, and the mage unintentionally poured some of her own magic into the water.

“Wow! So it’s true you’re a mage, huh?” She didn’t know? Saibra would have sworn that her class was the order of the day. “Must’ve felt strange living outside the Circle for this long.”

“It certainly has sometimes. But even though the Ostwick circle was a pacific one, the freedom is still enjoyable.” She felt the elf nod in agreement. “And you? When did you leave your clan?”

Somehow, the cheerfulness she so easily gave off darkened just an instant before she recovered. Her fingers resumed massaging her head as if that question hadn’t reopened an old wound in her heart. Be as it may, her voice didn’t show any of that uneasiness.

“A very long time ago. I ignore where they might be now, with the hallas taking them around Thedas. I wonder if they’ve planted a tree in my memory or something of the sorts.”

She knew, after the time she had spent in the Graves, that the Dalish honoured their dead planting a tree as a natural gravestone. It saddened her when she realised that the elf had accepted that her people had given her up for dead, either because she left back then or because she had joined the humans at present day. Although if Saibra asked her, she would probably be intruding too much, and she didn’t want to seem a nosy boss that only seeked to satisfy her curiosity.

It ended too soon, unfortunately. The elf indicated her with a couple of light taps that she should come out of the water before she would catch a cold, so Saibra got up and let herself be embraced by the soft towel she wrapped her with. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“I should be thanking you for taking me in! Life hasn’t been easy since the Blight-” she stopped abruptly, as she had made a terrible mistake by mentioning that.

“The Blight? Are you from Ferelden?” she leaned forward when the servant used a second towel for her head.

“I lived there, yes. But anyway,” she changed the subject, “A lone, wandering Dalish is always suspicious, it doesn’t matter what difficulty we’re going through.”

She seemed so lonely and tired of that prejudice that her words sounded older than what she really was. Saibra couldn’t help but pity her, as much as it wasn’t very polite to do. There was a small silence between them, staring at each other and drinking from their eyes stories they weren’t told. Saibra felt the unstoppable urge to hug her, to help her sooth away those unspoken problems.

One of her ears lifted at the sudden sound of a closing door. The spell that had bonded them broke as the elf helped her step down from the bathtub, her endless energy bursting again, and bowed as a farewell after handing her her nightgown. Saibra still wanted to embrace her, but before she could consider if that went beyond her limits as leader of the Inquisition, the elf was already gone.

But Saibra didn’t hear the snort the cheerful elf barely managed to suppress while she headed to the stairs, or the casual “Hey Cullen” she spoke to the Commander.

When Saibra emerged from behind the screen, Cullen was still looking at the stairwell with a very confused look twirled in his scarred lip. “Is something wrong, beloved?” she said while hugging him from behind. Cullen shook his head as if he wanted to get a horrible idea out of his mind and twisted in her arms ready to land a soft kiss on her forehead. But instead, he observed her bewildered, eyes open with concern and distant laugh. Now it was her turn to be confused. “What?”

“Sweetling, you should check yourself in the mirror.”

She stepped back almost frightened, and without ever letting go of his hand, Saibra approached the full-length mirror hanging next to her dresser. She checked out her body expecting to find anything unusual, but there was nothing that could justify the warning of her lover…

A strand of hair swung before her eyes. She would have sworn that lock couldn’t belong to her, that it was the tip of the towel that was still drying her scalp. And at the same time it had the same texture as one of her curls, only that the colour… The colour…

“AAAAAAH!”

#saibrarutherford #happy birthday mo caraid! #<3 #aah I want to hug you #saibra trevelyan #cullen rutherford #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age fanfic

[jeff3]

Haiku Birthday

J.D. Hayes-Canell

The girl with eyes akimbo

keeps her face aimed at the floor

Pigeon toed on knocking knees

she crab walks towards the door

2/19/95

The Party’s Over

Pumpkins smashed upside down in a ditch

X-mas trees brown at the end of driveways

Dried turkey skeletons for everyone.

Eggshells dyed in the trash

Crumpled valentines skitter in the wet wind

Past the charred firecracker corpses and sparklers black and barren.

Everyone has gone home

there’s the trash to take out.

3/8/95

Ethereal Espresso

I live vicariously as you, in sweat and heterosex.

Beat ghosts lie upon the pages snapping phantom fingers

chanting “Cool, cool”.

They sip ethereal espresso and groove jazz

while you and Kerouak trade lies in a duel

like sex.

12/23/94

Reptile Season

It’s the night, x-mas time.

The city sheds it drab grey skin 

and breaks out in livid spots.

12/25/94

Warm wind caressing

Brings the scent of coming rain

Robins herald Spring. 

201203.07

HAIKU BIRTHDAY

You wake, stretch and yawn

So today is your birthday

Different but the same. 

201203.07

I write without ink on no paper 

I read a book with no pages

I call on a phone with no dial, no buttons. 

What is reality?

3/20/12

Blossom scented breeze

New green of young grass growing

My backyard in Spring. 

4/18/12

Words. Nothing but words

Convey all meaning, mine, yours,

A haiku birthday. 

4/18/12

For Marie, Patricia, Seth and Marci

This spring has come with no green. 

It is barren dust and somber ash watered by a harsh bitter rain. 

Wilted blossoms and rank weeds greet my steps, crows utter curses rough and jagged to my ears. 

5/15/2012. 

Disney Life

I don't lead a Disney life

Filled with twittering birds

And animate inanimate objects. 

I don't have it like Peter Pan

Sitting out adulthood on a whim

Waiting for the tick-tock of adventure to start. 

But I've wished upon a star. 

1/11/13

What We Wanted For You

(For Ryan)

A time ago, when we were young 

We smiled and planned. 

We were going to feed you on laughter

We were going to pour you glasses of knowledge, all that we knew. 

We were children then, 

Knowing only what we knew of life, 

Wanting to give it all to you,

Wanting you to join in the fun that was our world. 

That is what we wanted for you, the madness & the love,

The mayhem & the laughs. 

Only you know if we succeeded. 

1/11/13

Table Exiting the Long Room

You called me one day 

To say you were dying. 

Don't cry, you said

I won't I said. 

I didn't. Not then, not yet. 

I wanted to, but I'm waiting. 

Ray scattered your ashes in

Rockwood. 

I know the place, it's where I plan to cry

It's where I will remember 

your laugh

Your love

Your heart

That crooked smile you had when you were up to something

The look on your face when you would knock on my door

Asking to stay because whatever

Woman you were with had kicked you out again. 

Wish you were still here

so I could say hi just one more time. 

201209.23

Day After

It's the day after Sandy 

New York is powerless

New Jersey is scandalous 

Upstate we're watching the winds feeling the rain 

but the lights are still on. 

Hawaiillusion

Snow piles behind the panes

Kept at bay by walls and propane. 

Rocking sleepy in my chair,

Cat lapped, cozy in my sweater. 

On tv scenes of beach sand 

awash in seawater & weeds

Beside me tropical plants doze in their pots. 

Aloha. 

201212.22

 There are moments in life when we are capable of anything...

The body at the bottom of the stairs. 

201112.22

Death Came Visiting in May. 

Saw some of my friends, 

called on some of my relatives. 

He turned no one down, 

snubbed neither the poor nor middle class,

Grinned as he passed us by to give my brother in law his last ride. 

I hope he goes elsewhere for his summer vacation.

201206.11

Music in my Clothes Seems like Saturday Night.  

I was so possible that I had to be built on incomprehensibility. 

I do not panic...I smile. 

201302.14

Butterfly Storms

My soul is taut, it needs to bend and flow, to expand and contract, to fly free and to rest gently. 

It yearns to skip lightly through the aether, gathering the whims and hopes, the ghosts of dreams unfulfilled 

billowing out, blessing all with peace and love. 

201310.09

Cat hair & Dust bunnies. 

Lying on the valley floor with wheeling stars above

Rain touching feather soft the grass

Tell him I asked, I asked you why

The only answer: the rain. 

201407.03

By The Light Of A Robot's Eyes

I hold a virtual image of you in my mind but it fades, pixel by pixel. my heart yearns to hang on yearns to hold on to wisps, to fog.   

In the silent dusk my mind slowly draws to a close.

201306.30

Always Kiss Me Goodnight

There are times you drive me virtually mad

With all the craziness you do. 

There are times you are so furious you lose control and rant from the insanity of my life. 

But when you're gone. 

When the dust settles. 

When the silence falls. 

And all I've ever wanted was for you to shut up for five minutes!

I miss you more than anyone,

more than anything

and though I know how to live alone

I can't bear it without you.

201311.29

Hotel Kitchen @ One am. 

Ralph Kramden Was a Bus Driver

Thusly we come to know

That some doors remain forever closed 

and we are held bound to our fate 

By chains we forged with pieces of our souls. 

201311.29

Flotsam

I'm just passing through

You're just passing through 

It's how we live

How we are

Passing through time, space the lives of those we meet

The things we think are real are transient 

The things we think are solid are dust.

Liquid flows

Time flows

And we are fascinated by the firelight shadows on the cavern's wall.   201404.13

MAYA

A clear voice that sprung from silence sorrow shame

A voice which gave hope love and peace to many

A voice which encouraged never scorned

A voice of freedom and compassion

A voice as clear as hope

A voice as strong as love

Has drifted softly into silence once more. 

201405.28

First Day

Summer wind paper napkin plastic bag dance swirling pirouettes about each other, about the sidewalk, about my feet. 

Walking down the hill I join the dance. 

201406.23

Dance of the Lightening Bugs

It's no secret

How the universe turns

It's no marvel to me why life must spin

and spin and spin

Rumpelstiltskin super novas blossom as they whirl and I, 

I long to cry. 

201407.03

Where Did The Words Go

Out of mouths through the ears and away

We wasted time wasted breath wasted life with words

Let them twist us turn us scorch us burn us

Let them touch us bathe us help us save us

Life and time molded distance carved caverns

Perhaps they fled there. 

201407.04

Staying Strangers

Alone together

How we travel through our lives cocooned in iPads iPods 

Idontwanttoknow, selfmusic 

selfmovies selfphones selfish 

Insulated from the now

From each other 

from life. 

Thrown together by happenstance 

By circumstance by chance

We retreat hibernate

Back away from all of us

And into ourselves. 

It will come to no good. 

201407.19

Watching Shakespeare on TV

The commons chatter aimlessly 

While culture and wisdom play before them content in its own self showing no ego in its teaching, ever teaching by its own example

And still the hairless monkeys jabber. 

201407.20 

Soft Dog

When I die 

all the things that I have gathered

Will be scattered to the winds

All the kisses I have known 

Will blow away Never to return

And all that I have said or done 

Shall pass into memories

Held in a drawer

Or a book. 

When you die

All the things that you have gathered 

Will scatter

And no one will ever know

How you felt today. 

201408.04

Tender is the time

  We spend just lying side by side

Nowhere to go, no place to be     

  But where we are. 

Softly our two hearts

  Beating in time to the song of our souls

Open to each other, and we smile

  Because we are one. 

Soon our time is spent

  We slip apart, away and back to normal

A small ache for the parting hour

And our tender times. 

201408.07

Summer thunder crashes taking the ears by storm hissing cats and dogs fall pouncing on the ground making puddles lightening squalls across the sky black cloudy growls slowly fade and soon the mice come out to play. 

201408.17

My new shoes feel good 

I like how they hold my feet.

A year from now they’ll be old shoes,

And I will have forgotten

How they felt

In the days of the old shoes

201403.16

Way back when I used to wake up early mornings 

When weekends were like Christmas and summer lasted forever

When we were good guys or bad guys and our heroes were on tv

When problems were small things that grown-ups could solve

And kisses made it all better.

When did those days slip into greater worries, into times of grey

With nothing clear or sure.

No going back, no returns, no panacea for the soul

Just a voice, a fading echo which claims “You’re it.”

201807.07

My soul longs for the peace of a monastery 

The whispers of the hermit’s cave.

It calls out in silent plea for solace from the din, parting from the throng.

But I don’t know where to turn, how to take that step

And I’m afraid to be alone.

201807.07

Things his mother made;

Christmas things made by a loving hand for her son.

She’s long since passed away but he held those memories close.

Now he is gone as well, unexpectedly pulled from my life and all I have are memories

And these things his mother made

3/11/2019

I’m tired of the sorrow and the sadness

The explosive burst of tears and the creeping clutch of emptiness.

I don’t know why you had to go,

I will never know

You were always full of love and I was not

I never stopped guarding my heart against this very thing

I never stopped building walls against this very day 

And when it happened

When the end for you came

The barriers melted, the walls crumbled 

and all they kept out was you

3/11/2019

I was looking at our garden today.

I know its winter and everything is brown.

But between the deer and the rabbits

They killed the growing dreams we had; the roses, the willow tree.

I laughed when you brought it home

“We live on a sand dune” I said, “A willow won’t grow here.”

But it did, for the whole of spring and summer it survived.

But not this winter, very little survived this winter.

3/11/2019 

[brazenbriar]

Fire (Calliope & Miranda)

First story for the lantern project YAYY

The word i pulled was fire and the first thing i thought of was the destructive & creative powers of fire. I thought about using fire to cook meals and warm houses and the downside of wildfires and house fires. 

I thought about how when fire destroys something we mourn it’s loss and then we band together to build something new and sometimes when something has been destroyed (Not necessarily by fire) it’s freeing in a way. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A brilliant glow as bright as the rising sun ,bathed Calliope and Miranda and the heat of the roaring fire before them chased away the October chill. In a matter of minutes the fire had claimed half of the manor reducing the only home the sisters had ever known to ash. Calliope handed her sister a small velvet pouch from her coat pocket and pulled one out for herself as well.

 'We don't really have time for a ritual Cali.' Miranda spoke softly trying to gage her sister’s mood. Calliope took a moment before responding, wringing the bag in her hands.

'We've lived here for our whole lives. Those memories deserve honouring' as she spoke, she tossed her pouch into the fire and watched as the flame ate it hole enjoying the scent white and purple lilacs.

'Throw yours in sister' on command Miranda tossed her pouch upon the flaming heap and the floral scent grew in power.

'Are all lesbians into witchcraft?' Miranda shot a sideways smirk at Calliope and wrapped her arm around her pulling her in.

'It's not witchcraft.' Calliope sighed 'Men just say that so they can blame women not wanting to marry them on demonic forces'

'What's the real reason then?' Miranda asked

'For the pouches or the lesbianism?' Calliope raised a quizzical eyebrow

Miranda pulled away from the embrace and fished a silver container just smaller than her hand from the pocket of her trousers. She opened it to reveal a neat row of cigarettes and moving toward the fire gingerly she bent down to light them both on the blaze before handing one to Calliope.

'Both' Miranda finally said

Calliope took a deep drag and blew a brilliant storm cloud of smoke before speaking.

'The pouches were full of lilacs' she took another drag 'purple for the first memory of love and white for youth' she blew out again this time trying to create smoke rings but failing.

'And the reason for swearing off men?' Miranda asked mid drag.

'Some women are born with the innate knowledge that men, for the most part, are awful!'

 Miranda doubled over with laughter almost tripping into the flame. She tried to fight back the giggles, but they kept erupting from her catching Calliope up in a whirlwind of laughter.

'My god!' Miranda spat out 'I wish I'd learnt that lesson years ago and not wasted some much time on the dolts and dregs of this town'

As their laughter died down the two spent a silent moment together watching the blaze. Miranda pulled up her sleeve, eyed her watch and frowned.

'10 minuets left' she said but Calliope didn't seem to hear her. Calliope made a sharp turn to face her sister with a stern expression that took Miranda by surprise.

'Have we done the right thing?' She bit down on her bottom lip and cast her eyes downward. 'I know it may be too late to have second thoughts but...' she trailed off

Miranda took her sisters face in her hands and raised her up, so they were eye to eye. She swept a loose lock of hair from her face and smiled warmly.

'You know we can't stay here Cali.' Calliope tried to break eye contact, but Miranda would not let her. 'Even after mum and dads passing this town would have still chocked the life out of us. And the way they would treat you is just...' Rivers of tears had started to flow and a tight ball of pain and despair grew in her throat.

Now it was Calliopes turn to comfort. She grabbed her sister and pulled her into a tight embrace.

'I'm so blessed to have a sister that would up root her whole life for me. You've been my fairy godmother forever and I...' Calliope paused 'I just worry that you're throwing your life away for me.'

Miranda pulled out of the embrace and fished two more cigarettes out of the container in her purse, this time she opted to use a match book as the blaze that consumed the manor was starting to die down.

'I'm not uprooting my life Cali' Miranda handed her sister a cigarette 'I'm fleeing an oppressive regime with my baby sister'

Calliope was touched by Miranda's care and devotion.

'If the people of this town had their way, you'd be shackled to a useless man for the rest of your days forced to be barefoot and pregnant.'

There was silence for a moment as both sisters took in the gravity of their situation. Their plan had been in the works for months, over time they had sold almost everything of value in the house and amassed a small fortune. Through black market and back alley deals they had forged passports and papers and new names, everything they needed to run far away and never look back. Miranda had heard from the women in town about the liberal and open-minded attitude of France and so she settled on the village of Saignon, a small secluded village in the south of France. Thanks to the girl’s private school education they both spoke perfect French and their fair skin and dark hair would allow them to blend in seamlessly. France would be their new haven where Calliope could live and love whomever she pleased without fear of persecution and Miranda hoped that she could find a new world man whose ideals and beliefs didn't remind her of a 14th century man.

 'It's time.' Miranda whispered but she knew that Calliope heard her. Her sister nodded in response and crushed her cigarette butt under the heel of her boot. The low rumbling of a car engine came up the drive way from behind them and they turned to greet it after saying a final goodbye to the home that had been their prison for years. The car halted but the engine kept going low and guttural. The window of the driver’s seat rolled down and a young man who looked to be in his twenties with jet black hair and a Cheshire grin poked his head out. Calliope studied his face trying to place him before she finally figured it out.

 'Chris Donovan?' She asked confused as ever

'The one and only' Christ chirped back

Miranda walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

'Glad you could make it. You're a lifesaver' Miranda said

Calliope stood in confused silence trying to figure out how Chris fit into their plan. All she knew was that Miranda had called a car to get them away, but she had no idea their high school friend would be their chauffeur. Sensing the confusion radiating from calliope Chris stepped out of the car and made his way over to her.

'Hey Cali' He smiled warmly at her and she smiled back still a tad thrown off 'We'd best be going Harry's waiting for us in France already'

'Harry?' Calliope mumbled 'Harry Stevens? From school?'

'Yeah.  The sooner we get to France the sooner he and I can christen our new home' Chris cocked one eyebrow suggestively and smirked at her. All at once the situation clicked into place and Calliope felt a sudden sense of belonging. The two of them were now bonded as two queer people, brothers and sisters in arms ready to protect and uplift each other as best they could.

The three of them, two sister and a new-found friend piled into the car and pulled away from the blaze onward to a new life within minutes they would be at the docks boarding a ferry and by the next morning they would be in France ready to be new people and live new lives free from the darkness of their past.

#creative writing #short story #fire #fiction