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#still barely know how tumblr works
inkyarcturus · 4 months
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Little Ciel sketchbook page- the outfits are references but the two poses aren’t which I’m proud of :D
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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spencering · 7 months
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Should I do daily Kevin Spencer screenshots….
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halforcdad · 2 years
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serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)
her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior
there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too
the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!
as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):
1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning 
1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???” 
1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"
1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”
1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)
1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today” 
1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)
The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc
Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)
a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)
i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like 
you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are
she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret
unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that
#ncis hawaii#kate whistler#kacy#all the criticism and thoughts ive seen on tumblr has been cool and fine but the twitter folks just make my head explode#its like every time kate shows a not Cool trait shes ooc? theres a reason everyone calls her the dumbest smart person (affectionate)#shes got one braincell for work! whenever she uses it for her personal life or for following ernies advice is laughs at her and explodes#imma be real this is kinda petty and ranty bc of one specific kate stan on twitter i keep seeing firhrgjrg#like i cant even enjoy their fics bc they start all of them with 'i wont do u dirty like the writers have'#like wym the writers have treated me fine i loved 1x20 i loved all the kacy angst lol#like yas and tori are great and theyre 50% of it but who wrote the lines they say that make me love lucy and kate more and more everyday#also i dont think its possible at all for a character to be ooc...in season 1 like the writers barely know them yet how can i claim i do#like ok you like the character but then you hate the writers for half the traits theyve given them so do you actually like them???#this is all incoherent and im sorry#yes i still dislike the serenade but like i understand the point of the big gesture and why u would go there#get you a hot lesbian mess who can do both!#im delirious i probably shouldnt post this and ill regret it but i will anyway#like i saw someone ask what have they done to you whistler#oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO
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damiemontclair · 8 months
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Me: *gets back into bsd fandom through the anime after years away*
Tumblr posts suggestions: hello yes your favourite character apparently just died in one of the most recent chapters of the manga, have fun!
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honestlyvan · 10 months
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As the pendulum is swinging back to “stop shaming people for leaving likes”, I am going to go on record to say I don’t like like because they’re a purely “number go up” metric that most people do not treat with the kind of thoughtful affection people who talk about leaving “little kisses for the people they follow” treat them as. I feel this exact same way about kudos in that mindless interaction from a potential audience is a real “good for you” kind of situation that simply does fuck all for me.
And before someone can call this grind culture brainrot, I also feel this way about reblogs without commentary. Good for you. I'm glad I was a good dancing monkey, enough for you to go “hey [people following me], lookadis guy”, even if you’re not gonna actually tell me that. We can talk about our choices for engaging with things and people on this site all we want, but intent isn’t magic, and I’m gonna reserve the right to complain about how that treatment feels regardless.
#van stuff#Anyway you as an individual are allowed to use this site however you want obviously#I'm just asserting that my memory is longer than six months#The reason people STARTED complaining about this was because people were saying shit like 'why are your likes hidden'#and treating 'liking' as the 'passive sharing' that reblogging without commentary used to be#Tumblr has historically had GARBAGE passive boosting options as the 'For You' tab is a fresh invention that barely fucking works#and new users were actively deluding themselves into thinking likes *were* engagement and demanding people show their likes to others#to make the user experience of this site more like the sites they came from#and most people who have been on this site for long enough know that any post with a huge note count#is gonna have a significant amount of threads calling it Fucking Stupid#and people adding likes to that post based on the commentary#Like... many of us actively have 'don't reblog shitty posts no matter how insightful the comments are' policies#BECAUSE boosting the notes of a shitty post is Bad For Discourse#me? a bitter former LJ user who never got over not having comments? Yes.#Am I AWARE that expecting the kind of interaction I enjoy is completely pointless? Also yes#but I'm still just not gonna say nothing as the pendulum swings back to hit me in ther face y'know?#EVENTUALLY it will have to come to a stop -- I just don't want it to come to a stop on 'less conversation happening continually'#also I need to remind myself to go tell wip that I want threaded comments on Tumblr#even Tiktok has them. They would be an incredible boon
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aeolids-zenith · 1 year
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i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless
#space chirrup#idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me#i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted#possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful#(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't)#i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that#but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests#i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy.#but i don't want that with someone i don't know already.#but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general#does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am#bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a#plan i could just do it without medication#but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg#ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night#people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral#like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for#and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it.#though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll
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yveni · 10 months
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It’s funny cause tumblr’s trending on twitter right now and half the tweets are people announcing their newly created tumblr blog so their mutuals can follow them here and half the tweets are like ‘I have no idea how to work tumblr please help’
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caricature-of-a-witch · 10 months
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I'm supposed to be on semester summer break but I am still suffering from academia and failing to write essays can I please just stoppp
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rotisseries · 2 years
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square by mitski!
"I tried my hardest, for I'd never learned, God's very simple and love shouldn't burn"
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sapphickath · 1 year
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ancestor offering of me taking a shot in honour of my bootlegging great great grandfather
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aroacehanzawa · 1 year
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The Half Life of Valery K by Natasha Pulley would be so good if it was good
#i'm gonna have to revive my goodreads account just to leave a bad review AND send 10 million ranting voice messages to my friend tomorrow#ok first the premise was good and based on true history about the ussr's secret nuclear testing facility City 40#the first half of the book had well-written mystery and the atmosphere was truly chilling it was a great cold war era thriller#unfortunately this book has too many flaws and just things that are straight up bad#such as: the mc is an uwuified scientist ex prisoner who GUESS WHAT worked directly under joseph mengele on human experiments???#and it's just like but uwu he was still young and had no choice#well the author had a choice and if you're gonna write something like that at least explore the topic properly????????#oh yeah and an entire prisoner train carriage of women gets raped by all the male prisoner except for valery our heroic mc#who couldn't do anything about it then until he laters kills all of those men with a bomb so he gets a traumatic AND a heroic backstory#and then the love interest: the kgb man with a wife and 4 kids he dearly loves but who conveniently get written off at the end#with no clear resolution as to what actually happened to his family after he defects abroad and he barely even mentions them afterwards????#oh yeah and our mc has some wildly anachronistic sjw-esque tumblr feminisms that the author forced in seemingly to make up for her#treatment of the actual female characters in the book???#the science was sound for the most part except the so-called scientist characters were being STUPID about it#they're like ohhh i wonder what are these weird mud geysers that keep popping off when we're not on volcanic ground#THAT'S THE GODDAMN HEAT FROM THE RADIOACTIVE WASTE AND I KNEW THAT FROM THE FIRST MENTION OF THESE GEYSERS#also the authir doesn't know how russian surnames work and wildly overestimates the amount of coffee that russians drink#and wildly underestimates the alcohol tolerance of 50+ year old bulky kgb officers and doesn't seem to know that the russian language#is gendered. like she writes a whole monologue for valery complaining about being called mister by the english because it's gendered????#also the whole resolution of the book is like a mediocre action thriller airport novel compared to the tense and atmospheric beginning#nah i'm going to sleep. good night
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I am not good at being genuinely mad at people. Usually I’m passively mad and it’s more annoyed than mad but like oh man. Genuinely upset?? No you gotta tread real careful
#my friends and I went to hang out today including the one who was like on my tumblr which really bothered me right#and like. that’s not something I’ve gotten over yet. i care about my life here and my privacy very much#quite frankly. i don’t think I ever will get over this. i am willing to set it aside. but I am not going to forgive this#a few days ago she’s like hey Monday let’s do something. and with my future in mind I’m like. fine. sure.#so this morning I’m like hey there r some pretty serious things happening I don’t think minigolf is my first priority rn#and she’s like oh ok well can we still hang out tho? and it’s like. excuse me??? why on earth do you think that’s more important than this#and then. plans ended up working out and she’s like hey. we’re good right? and I’m taken aback and I’m like what?#and she’s like r we good? we’re good right?#and it’s like. you have got to be kidding me. I’ve barely spoken to you and you’re asking if we’re good in the hopes this all blew over????#and I’m like. I don’t know. I’m not actively avoiding you anymore if that’s what you’re asking#but it’s like. oh my god. it inconveniences me greatly to not forgive her for monetary reasons such as moving in together in a yearish#but also she is making it so incredibly hard to forgive her!!#i asked her for space and she decided oh well what if I keep trying to FaceTime her and just in general was acting like if she just kept#going on like nothing happened everything would be all good#like bestie my trust isn’t something you can rebuild. it’s gone#but she just keeps going and doing all these little things and it’s like#every wrong thing she could do delay my forgiveness she’s done#when I say forgiveness I mean my willingness to put this aside#but it’s like. u cannot just expect things to go back to how they were. that completely ignores the fact that something happened#like god start with at least trying to be my friend again. not my best friend. my like. good acquaintance#like text me. please don’t call. i would rather not hang out. just text me. join our group calls for a little bit at a time#just. small interactions. that give me the ability to leave if I want#driving me absolutely up the wall#soup talks
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diseasedrat2000 · 2 months
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them
closeness is not enough
this proximity is a salve, the distance burns
i want to crawl inside you, live curled around your ribs
smothered in your heartbeat, life flooding,
like your touch sends smoke
soft, unfurling
budding and tender, a fern
of new feelings
embers glowing amber
i am set alight.
passion,
bruises blooming like roses under your touch
your pulse tapping under my fingers
your mouth on mine,
stars collided
worlds ended
to bring us to this moment.
we are formed from carbon and iron,
a million creatures have made up you and a million more will feast on your remains
elements forming in supernovas, explosions
like the pounding of my heart when we move
rocking as a boat does on an empty ocean,
into the depths we delve
- you, by me 24/11/23
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victim9d · 4 months
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in 1.5h it will be christmas day but i am. Im. There is dread
#theres. idk how to say it i just. i didnt have the money for gifts really and one hasnt arrived#and i feel like im failing christmas but thats not.#the dread is. theres.#i have been feeling an intense loneliness as of late that i think is just a product of living w 3 people who#are all in a relationship w each other so they all talk all the time and hang all the time and#just never really talk or hang w me anymore the way we used to#and theres a. i could barely afford anything for them and one of them i was told not to get anything for#and now its. im.#theres a pretty big pile of presents under the tree and it looks festive and cute but its. theres.#its a little discouraging to see a Large Pile and not a single one having my name on it#and its bc one of them has told me already that the package they ordered for me was delayed#its just. idk the season is only adding more to the way I've been feeling for a Whilr#but i dont have. theres not really#i dont have any other friends. and i know the family time tomorrow will be. not very good for me#and its just very. im dreading it.#and then next week theres a day where my flatmates having her birthday party and ive got work the next day#so i have to wake up at 4am so i just know its gonna suck#bc the partys probably still gonna be going kinda hard long past when i need to go to bed#i am just. i have not been feeling good lately and i am trying to dive into tumblr and my hyperfixations#in an attempt to compensate but its. its not really working#i wish the store was open tomorrow so i could just work and not have to deal w the holiday lmao#negative cw
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