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mischiefthedreamerx · 3 years

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The First Steps

Synopsis: Young Sylvie has kept this secret for far too long and now it's time to tell her Mother whether she is ready or not. Little Sylvie is taking her first small steps in becoming who she feels inside.

A/N: So Sylvie is probably the equivalent to a 10 year old here. It's basically Sylvie coming out as trans and wanting to change her name etc. This is just a simple sweet one shot.

Word Count: 2.2k

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Young Sylvie sat herself down in front of her mirror, golden coloured hairbrush in hand brushing her black silky locks. It had now grown a few inches past her shoulders, others had started asking when she was going to get it cut or simply made an innocent statement on its growing length. She liked it this long, though still preferred it to be longer. Sylvie looked down at the piece of jewellery she borrowed from her mother's dressing room. Well she took them without permission but she planned on returning them before her mother noticed...

Firstly she picked up some form of silver circular headpiece with silver metallic leafs around the band. She had also snuck out a silk white shawl. She knew very well that it wasn't right to steal the items but if she returned them without being caught then no harm was done. She traced her fingers over the headpiece before gently placed it above her forehead. Then added the white shawl over her shoulders. Seeing herself in the mirror, she knew she looked ridiculous with it on, especially over her green tunic. She adjusted a few strands of hair around the headpiece. This was one of the ways she could pretend to feel better, to distract herself but this void that was still burning inside her chest.

With a sigh, she slumped her shoulders in defeat.

Though an even worse distraction bombarded her when her brother practically threw himself into her room, the door whacking itself open.

"Thor!" Sylvie shouted in panic, quickly tearing off the headpiece and shawl, shoving them under her bed. Thor stood there, wide eyed.

"Have you heard of a such a thing called privacy?" She ragged.

Thor ignored the question and composed himself, holding a wooden sword in hand. "Well I was going to ask if you'd come out with me and Fandral in the woods but it seems you're rather busy playing... dress up." Thor teased.

"I am not! And besides Father forbid us to go into the woods." She said, desperate to change the subject.

"We won't go far, I promise." Thor smiled.

"Right. Of course." Sylvie returned her gaze to the mirror, hoping this would make Thor realise she did not wish to play with him but he didn't quite understand this hidden message.

"So..are you coming?"

Sylvie grumbled. "No. Go and play with your stupid little sword."

Thor crossed his arms. "Fine I will!" He stuck out his touch and left.

"Careful I don't cut your tongue off in your sleep..." Sylvie muttered to herself in a hushed voice. "Knock next time too!" She yelled. With a careless flicker of a hand, the door slammed shut. A part of Sylvie now regretted not taking up Thor's offer because now she was alone again in her miserable thoughts.

She placed her forehead against the mirror and sighed, clutching the silk shawl in her hands. Her eyes were closed as if praying, waiting for her reflection to magically change when she opened them but still she only saw some sad little 'boy' wishing she was anyone else but herself.

Sylvie then heard the sound of a door handle slowly being turned.

She was prepared this time. "I said knock next time—“

Her mother appeared in the doorway.

"Mother!" Sylvie scrambled, standing herself up. The shawl hiding behind her back.

Her mother cautiously entered the room. "Is everything alright, dear? I heard shouting."

A small sense of relief filled her knowing Thor had not told their mother on the 'borrowed' possessions or better yet her wearing them but her anxiety still held firm.

"Everything is quite alright, Mother." She stuttered, sweat appearing above her brows. Her mother took a few more steps closer.

"Loki, did you really think I would not have noticed." She raised an eyebrow, no anger in her features, only a sense of calmness but her presence still heavily filled the room. Sylvie looked down at the floor and unhid the shawl from behind her back. Sylvie may have been good at being sly but her Mother was proven to be a challenge to trick.

She wasn't sure if she should apologise or explain why she had them in the first place. Or maybe now was the right moment to explain everything.

"Mother, I'm sorry, I.." Her words fell apart.

"I think it's time you and I have a little talk. Shall we?" Her mother walked over to sit on her bed. The door quietly closing by itself. Sylvie sat herself down next to her mother, avoiding her mother's gaze.

"Why did you take those things? I'm not angry. I just wish to understand the reasoning behind this. Perhaps I can help you."

Sylvie nodded. She wasn't ready, but if not now, then when? She knew how she felt, it was explaining it out loud that was the struggle. Was something wrong with her? Was she sick? Or even a way to fix her to stop feeling like this.

Sylvie had succumb to silence, blinking away the tears. Her mother patiently waiting.

"I..I don't feel right." She met her mother's soft blue eyes, she nodded once to encourage Sylvie to continue. She only wished to recoil into herself and disappear.

"I look in the mirror and it hurts, Mother. It hurts." Sylvie turned to look up at her mother, the tears slipping themselves free.

Sylvie fell into the comfort of her mother's warm embrace, a hand wrapped around her. She clung to the fabric of her mother's dress, hoping it would stop the tears.

"Hush, my dear. I'm listening." Frigga whispered, threading her fingers through Sylvie's locks.

"Why does it hurt so much? There is nothing wrong with who you are, Loki." She said, Sylvie only shook her head, pulling herself away.

"No, you don't understand! I don't want—" She rubbed away her tears, taking a deep breath to take control of her steady breathing from the crying. She wasn't close to explaining it. She had once wrote down all the things she felt when she eventually told her parents, scripted it in her head, in front of the mirror and now all of that was useless.

Her mother stayed calm, though Sylvie could tell she was puzzled at the sudden raised voice. "If you could magically become anyone you wish, who would it be?" She asked. The question caught Sylvie of track.

"Anyone?" She asked. Her mother nodded. Sylvie knew a few people she wanted to look like. It was now or never. There might not be another chance like this for awhile. What’s the worse thing that could happen? She knew her family loved her regardless, even despite her being adopted, they never once treated her any differently.

Sylvie jumped off her head and walked towards her book shelf, picking out a book without hesitation. She pressed the book close to her chest, then showing it to her mother.

On the cover was a women with long blonde hair tied in a braid wearing gold and white armour, blue cape flowing behind her. Her arm was held out high holding a glowing light blue sword as she sat on a pegasus mid flight. In her eyes was the fearless look of warrior ready for battle. She was beautiful and power and strong.

It was a fictional story about the main character's journey to becoming a highly respected Valkyrie despite the hardships she went through, being born into a poor family and was looked down upon for how weak she was. Sylvie stood in front of her mother, holding her hands together in anticipation for her response.

Her mother's eyes scanned over the cover. "You wish to be a Valkyrie?" Frigga frowned slightly.

Becoming a Valkyrie was definitely a far away dream, a dream so impossible to reach that it would never become a reality.

"It's more than that." Sylvie replied.

"Loki..." Her mother placed the book down on the bed. "Tell me more. What are you so afraid of, my dear?"

"I'm afraid you'll no longer love me. That you'll think I'm pretending or confused..or..or.."

Her mother stood up and bent down in front of Sylvie to reach her level. "Sweetheart, we could never stop loving you. I trust that you know your own mind. You're a smart and sensible young boy."

Sylvie visible winced as if someone had injured her, chocking out a heavy sob and began to weep. Sylvie promised herself she would not cry, promised she'd be strong. The promises lay broken. She was weak.

"I don't want to be a boy, Mother. I don't want to look like this. I want to be pretty. I feel horrible. I...I feel disgusting." Sylvie held onto her mother for dear life. Frigga embraced her tightly.

"Oh, my dear." Frigga let Sylvie cry into her shoulder until the heavy sobs became only sniffles. Frigga wasn't exactly sure what to make of this sudden turn of events. She knew Sylvie was never like her brother or most young boys for that matter, always more quiet, never fitting in with Thor and his friends. She'd much rather play with her toys or interact with the girls from her classes.

Frigga was always considered wise, knowing what to say when comforting and support others or even explaining the complexity of different methods regarding magic. Though now, she had no right words on how to comfort her distressed child. She still very much believed her child knew their own mind and that every word Sylvie said was not some child wanting to play pretend but a child in so much pain from hiding her true self for far too long. Perhaps Frigga felt a sense of guilt from not realising her child's distress. What Sylvie was feeling wasn't something Frigga had not heard before but it was still new to her. It was not a choice. She would continue to love her child unconditional despite not understanding much.

"For how long have you been feeling this way?"

Sylvie sniffled and wiped her tears with a shrug. "A long time. It has only become much worse. I have tried, really tried to stop being this way. To be more like Thor and the others."

Frigga placed a strand of hair behind Sylvie's ear. "You do not have to be anything like your brother. You two are very special in your own ways. Thor.. he relies on brute strength, charging head first into battle without analysing the battle field in itself. Of course he has some remarkable strengths. But you, my child, you are very powerful, intelligent, pure at heart, cunning even. You have qualities that many dismiss, cast aside as if they were only weak but my dear, they are your hidden strengths to use to your advantage." Frigga's voice whispered softly. She continued;

"And.. if from within you feel.. you're trapped.." Frigga paused, searching for the right words.

"In the wrong body." Sylvie said, completing her mother's sentence.

Frigga nodded. "Yes. Then we shall do whatever we can to support you. You will encounter many who will not quite fathom all of this, or many will say that you are sick. Do not ever let other's perception of who you are change you. Only you truly understand who you are from within and that’s all that matter."

Sylvie stood there, giving herself some time to take in what her mother had said. She had not expected this sort of outcome. A small smile made it's way to Sylvie's lip.

"Thank you, Mother. Can we tell Father...together?"

"We will and he shall love his daughter all the same." Frigga placed a kiss upon her forehead. "This..is still very new to me but is there another name you one day wish to be called by?"

Sylvie's eyes sparkled with instant excitement. She picked up her story book and pointed to the Valkyrie on the front cover.

“Her!” She passed the book to her mother. Frigga turned to look at the back of the book to read the blurb.

"Sylvie?" She said, reading the main character’s name.

Sylvie nodded, the void becoming only but a distant ache. Right now she no longer thought about what her father or Thor would think of this or for the rest of Asgard for that matter. Sylvie wanted to live in this blissful moment and hoped for many more.

"Sounds very elegant and mystical." Her mother said. "It's perfect."

Sylvie struggled to hide her ever growing smile as she hugged her mother.

"Though you must understand it will take us all some time to adjust to this change. We may make mistakes along the way, but I can assure you that as a family, together, we will support you."

Sylvie understood that it would be a big adjustment for everyone, even for herself and mistakes will follow and many will not support her journey, she was well aware of the troubles she may face but right now, Sylvie had made her first steps into becoming the person she was on the inside

"I know, Mother." Sylvie said, she reached down picking up the shawl and silver headpiece. "Here. I'm sorry for taking them without your permission, Mother.”

Frigga took the headpiece and placed it on Sylvie's head.

"Keep them." She smiled. "They look much better on you, my little princess."

- - - - -

A/N: Omg I didn't think I'd make this so heartbreaking. Also please no comments about how I didn't explain being trans that well considering its coming from a distressed child

#loki odinson #loki fanfic #marvel one shot #avengers #sylvie laufeydottir #sylvie #mcu #loki #loki fandom #trans sylvie

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tvimagines221b · 3 years

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(Loki Laufeyson x OC)

⚠️SPOILERS for Loki S1EP 4 “The Nexus Event.” ⚠️

Summary: Sylvie, Loki and Sarah are brought in by the TVA after being stranded on Lamentis. While being interrogated, Loki learns Sarah is being held in a hellish prison, and demands to be taken to her. When Loki finds her, he must comfort his hurting sister.

Characters: Loki Laufeyson, Sarah Odinsdottir (OC), Mobius (Minor)

TVA

Here they were again. After having escaped from the TVA, and being stranded on Lamentis, Loki was once again in the TVA’s custody. Loki let out a groan of frustration. First, it was being trapped in a simulation that was supposed to be the TVA’s ridiculous attempt at torturing him. Now, it was once again being interrogated by Mobius. Loki shakes his head. So much had been running through his mind in the moment. What happened on Lamentis, the truth behind the TVA. Most importantly, where the others had been. Loki of course, presumed that Sylvie was likely being held in one of the other Time Theatres, and being interrogated by another one of the agents. As for Sarah, he hadn’t the faintest clue where she was being kept. Which worried him. She had aided him with escaping, and now she would be seen as a criminal, a Varient.

Loki leaned in, his elbows resting in the table. He needed to see her. He needed to know she was all right. “Where is my sister?” He asked. “I need to know that she’s okay.” Mobius let out a faint chuckle. He shakes his head. Loki had betrayed not only him, but the TVA. Now that their trust had been broken, he didn’t have to tell him anything. “Loki, I don’t have to tell you anything now. You betrayed us, and took off with the Variant.” Mobius remarked.

Loki felt his blood boil. When it came to his sisters safety, it wasn’t a game. “Mobius, I want to see her!” He exclaimed. “Now where the hell is she?” Mobius sighs, leaning back in his seat. “She’s alive, if that’s what you want to know.”

“I want to see her. Take me to her.” Loki demanded. He needed to see for himself that she was okay.

Mobius shakes his head. “I can’t do that, Loki.” After all, Mobius had a job to do. That job was to interrogate Loki, and to figure out whatever his plan was.

“Why not?” He snarled.

“Loki, your sister is a criminal now. She aided you with escaping with the Varient, we can’t trust her now.” Mobius explained. Loki knew that much. But it didn’t change the fact that no matter what she had done, he still had the instinct to protect her. To shelter her from any form of harm. Always. Loki clenched his fists. “Which is exactly why I need to know that one of your silly agents haven’t done anything to harm her!” He protested. He needed to know she was okay. That they weren’t hurting her.

Mobius exhaled. He could tell Loki wasn’t going to let this go. After all, this was Sarah they were talking about. The one person Loki’s entire life aside form his mother that he truly had any love or care for her. Someone he would protect her by any means. But that didn’t matter now. His job did. “Loki, I’m sorry. My job is to interrogate you.”

Loki knew he had to tell Mobius about the lies that the TVA had been feeding him. “Mobius, all of this is a lie. The TVA is lying to you.”

Mobius could only laugh. This was just Loki trying to distract him. “Loki, I’m not going to fall for your tricks. I know you’re just trying to distract me.” This was his poor attempt at trying to escape again.

“Mobius, I’m not lying about this.” He reassured.

Mobius crossed his arms over his chest. “Of course you are. Because that’s what you do! You lie, and betray. You kill, and destroy. It’s your destined life, Loki.” Mobius had truly hoped that Loki could be so much more than just the God of Mischief, that he could choose a different path. But unfortunately, the recent events had proved him wrong. Loki was never going to change! “I thought you could be better, Loki. Even after what everyone kept telling me, I held onto the belief that you would choose to be good. But I was wrong. I was arrogant to think that The God of Mischief could ever be a better person.” Loki studied Mobius. Mobius was just as clueless as the rest of them. Stuck with the beliefs that the TVA were telling him. “Mobius, please. Okay? Just let me see Sarah, I just need to know she’s all right.” Loki plead.

Mobius could see the desperation in Loki’s eyes. Mobius sighs. “Loki…I have a job to do.”

Loki knew he Mobius wouldn’t let his job go. So, he had to go along. “Fine, okay? You can interrogate me, learn whatever it is you want to know, and I’ll tell you. But I ask only that you let me see that she’s safe. That’s fair, right?”

Mobius thought for a moment. He needed Loki to cooperate, and he knew Loki would likely refuse unless he gave into his request. Mobius sighs. “Fine. If you wanna know so badly, I’ll tell you where she is. She’s being held in a prison similar to the one you were placed in.” Mobius’s words only made Loki’s heart sink. What? Loki blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“She’s been there since we brought you in.” He nods. “Renslayer thought it would be best, so we send her in.” Though, Mobius noticed Loki’s change of emotion.

Loki’s expression quickly changed from worry, to hurt. If her prison had been anything like his, then she was in much pain. He couldn’t bare the thought of her being in that much pain. Loki felt the tears well in the back of his eyes. “She’s innocent, she doesn’t deserve that. Yes, I’ve done some awful things, and I deserve such punishment that I’ll admit. But Sarah has done nothing but good her entire life, and she doesn’t deserve to suffer for something I did.” He told him.

Mobius uncrossed his arms. “That wasn’t my call, I only went through with my orders.” He was only doing what Judge Renslayer had asked of him. “Look…I’m not supposed to take you to her.”

Loki felt that anger in him again. He wasn’t going to let his little sister suffer, that was for damn sure! “I won’t let her suffer!” He exclaims.

Mobius could see how angry Loki seemed to be about this, an angry Loki wasn’t good in this situation. Loki being angry wasn’t good for anyone. Mobius sighs. Even after having betrayed them, he would give into Loki’s request. “Okay, calm down. Despite what you’ve done, I’m willing to be nice enough to let you see her. But that’s it!”

“And you release her.” Loki demands. Mobius sighs again, and nods. He supposed Sarah could be kept elsewhere. “Yes. I will release her.” He reassured. This of course, gave Loki some sense of relief.

“Then what are we waited for?” He remarked.

After having given into Loki’s demands, Mobius had decided he would wait a second giving Loki what he had wanted. With his tempad in hand, Mobius had opened the doorway to the holding cell which Sarah had resided in. Mobius looked to Loki. “I’ll be right behind you.” He told him. Loki straighted his posture, he nods. He then looked forwards at the doorway, and stepped inside. However, the moment he did his heart dropped at the sound of very loud sobbing. Heartbreaking sobs. Loki looked around, and his eyes grew wide. He had recognized the surroundings. The ship, and the wreckage. This wasn’t just any place. This was the exact place where he died, well his future self. This is where Sarah had lost him. “Sarah? Sarah?” He called out. He needed to find her, and quickly. His eyes scanned every inch of the surroundings, but then he had found her. Sarah Odinsdottir sat on her knees, sobbing her eyes out, her gaze was stuck on the floor. “Stop, okay? Just stop!” She plead. “I know I’m never going to save him. I know I’m weak, okay?”

“Sarah?” Loki quizzed. Sarah’s stop didn’t stop. Especially when she heard Loki’s voice. Because every time she had heard his voice, it had never really been him. It was the illusion that the TVA had conjured up to torture her. To remind her that she would never be able to save Loki, that she was weak, and he would die no matter what she did. “Stop! Just stop!” She cried.

The God of Mischief was quick to rush his sisters side, dropping onto his knees beside her. “Sarah, it’s me.” He placed his arms on her shoulders.

Sarah felt hands on both of her shoulders. This time, she looked up. Her gaze met with Loki’s. “Loki?” Loki felt his heart ache at the sight of her. Her eyes were red, and puffy. Her cheeks were stained with her tears, which even then hadn’t stopped. “It’s…it’s you?”

Loki nods. “Yes, yes it’s me.” He cupped her face in his hands. “It’s me my dear, I’m real.”

Mobius, who had been following right behind Loki simply stood a few feet away from them. He didn’t say anything. He figured there was really nothing for him to say in the moment.

Sarah reached her hand out, gently brushing it against his cheek. “You’re not…an illusion?” She croaked. Loki leaned into her touch, shaking his head. Sarah could feel how cold his skin was. He was real, wasn’t he? “I’m real, Sarah. I swear to you, I am.” He told her, gently. Sarah looked over Loki’s shoulder to then see Mobius. If Mobius was here, it meant that this Loki was in fact HER Loki. Not the trick the TVA was torturing her with.

Sarah’s hand slowly fell from Loki’s cheek. She did the only thing she think of. She throws her arms around him, hugging him. “I’m so glad it’s you.” She cried. Loki didn’t hesitate to return the hug. His arms slithered around him, hugging her back. “I had to watch you die. It wouldn’t stop. It wouldn’t stop.”

Loki sensed Sarah’s pain. Her heart ache. Which, only hurt him. She didn’t deserve this. In his eyes, he still saw her as that sweet, caring, and innocent little girl he swore to always protect. To shelter from the world.

Loki looked to Mobius. There was anger, but also relief in his eyes. Sarah was safe, and that’s all that mattered to him. As Sarah cried, Loki cradled the back of her head, something he did to soothe her when she was younger. “Shh it’s all right now, Sarah. I’m here. I’m here now.” He cooed. Mobius could only look down. A part of him felt guilty for what he had done. A part of him hated that he had caused her so much, deep down knowing that what Loki had said was true. Sarah was innocent. All her life, she only ever did good, she always looked out for others before herself. “I’m going to leave you for a moment.” Mobius looked back up, nods his head before walking off to give them some time alone. Loki kept his focus on soothing his crying sister. She needed him right now, and he intended to be by her side as he always had been. Because she was more important than anything. He would do anything for her.

Sarah buried her head against Loki’s shoulder, as the never ending tears streamed down her face. She felt so weak, and worthless. No matter how hard she tried, she always failed. She always failed to keep her family together. “I couldn’t save you. I’m never going to be strong enough. I’m weak. I’m a failure.” She croaked.

Oh how Loki hated to hear her say that. He knew it wasn’t true.

He knew how strong she was.

Sarah was stronger than he ever had been. And he admired her so much for that. He always had. He admired how she always stood up for not just herself, but others. How she held onto hope, and fought for what’s right. She was everything he ever wanted her to be. He felt proud knowing he had raised her to be the strong, and independent young woman she now was. He felt proud knowing he had inspired goodness, instead of hate. “You’re not weak, my dear. You’re strong. You’re so strong. And I am so proud of you, Sarah.” He whispered. Loki didn’t think twice about letting go of her. His arms remained around her. “Do you hear me? I’m proud of you.”

Sarah slowly pulled herself away, now looking at Loki. “I-I don’t understand. I can’t save you. I can never save you. I can never stop it. I can never save our family.” She shakes her head.

Loki pressed his lips together, gathering the right words. “Sarah, listen to me. Not even my death can keep us apart.” Him being here with her right now proved that. He cupped her face again. “You will always have me. Nothing will ever stop that. Not the timekeepers. Not the TVA. We will always find our way back to one another.” He said, gently.

Sarah had looked down. It was odd to her how even after everything, all of her hurt and pain. After all of her grieving, somehow she had found herself with him again. Even after his death. “I-I don’t understand why this happened. Why I got a second chance.” She looked back up. A tear slipped down her cheek. Loki exhaled, wiping the tear as it fell. He didn’t know either. But it didn’t matter to him, because they had one another. “It doesn’t matter how or why you got this second chance, what matters is you did. You’re not alone, my dear. You never have been, because I am never going to let you feel that sort of pain.” Loki knew what that kind of loneliness felt like. It was why all of Sarah’s life, he always made sure she knew that she wasn’t alone. That someone cared for her, and loved her. That someone would always fight for her, no matter what. “I love you so much, Sarah. I will always fight for you.” He told her. Sarah felt a warmth in her heart. She knew. She knew that he would always fight for her.

He always had.

“I know.” Sarah nods. “I love you too.” She told him. She could never forget that. Never.

Loki had managed a faint smile. He leaned down, giving her forehead a soft kiss. He then pulled her close to him, hugging her again. After everything that had happened recently, he really needed this. Just a moment of peace, and clarity. A moment with her, the most important person in his life. And he was going to get to the bottom of this. He and Sylvie would find out what was really going on with the TVA, and take them down. They would make sure that no one else’s lives would have to be taken from them, and that things change.

For all of time.

#loki #loki x oc #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x oc #loki odinson #loki odinson x oc #marvel #mcu #marvel oc #mcu oc #tom hiddleston

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