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the-habitat-sysblog · 2 months

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guy who has the doesn't-feel-real disorder: idk why but i don't feel real :-(

guy who has the major-memory-loss disorder: idk it just feels like there's a gap where yesterday is supposed to be :-( weiird

guy who has the different-person-every-hour disorder: woa h guys idk why i said that yesterday that doesn't rly sound like me :-(

DID: the disorder you know you have but it still surprises you every time! only $9,99 (childhood not included)

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furiousgoldfish · 7 months

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Did anyone with osdd or did have their inner dynamics resemble the ones happening in the family you grew up in?

The family I grew up in, every member had to fend for themselves and do their own thing, there was no support. Everyone would struggle for control out of deep anxieties and they would fight dirty and hurt others to get that control for themselves. There was no cooperation, no communication, and every single person blamed somebody else for it. Those with power over others abused it.

The kids were the most convinced they needed to protect the adults from the abuse of other adults, often sacrificing themselves in the process. The adults found kids to be mere annoyances and disregarded their entire existence as frivolous. Everyone was keeping their secrets and stubbornly kept doing their own thing under the radar. Everyone was scared of the authority and wanted to either be in their good graces or avoid the authority completely. Everyone was intensely stubborn and never changed their mind.

And now this is exactly what my system is like. Uncooperative, everyone fending for themselves, kids trying to sacrifice themselves for protection of the system, the struggle for control defined by the most anxious part's anxiety. Everyone so damn stubborn you couldn't convince them they were ever wrong about anything. Everyone running away from authority and doing their thing in secret, doing everything to keep their ever move secret.

I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't coincidental? Maybe the parts are frozen in that past dynamics and unable to figure out that they're no longer in the hostile environment where the authority here doesn't exist to exploit and hurt them. Or maybe this is just the only way they learned to function because it's all they've known. Can anyone else see similarities in how their family of origin functioned, to how their alters function now?

#osdd #did #system dynamics mimicking ex family's dynamics #systems #system parts #alters #dissociative parts

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finleycannotdraw · 9 months

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I don’t have the capacity to be coherent right now but. this movie is so good

#nimona #nimona movie #nimona netflix #nimona 2023 #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #ballister and nimona #I JUST. ITS SO MUCH #I saw that someone had made a post that was like ‘it was a mistake in nimona to show the brown guy turning on the trans girl’ but like.#THATS THE POINT #THE POINT IS THAT BOTH OF THEM ARE OSTRACIZED AND BOTH OF THEM ARE VILLAINIZED BY THE SYSTEM AND THE DIRECTOR #AND JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF ONE MINORITY GROUP DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE IMMUNE TO STEREOTYPING OR INTERNALIZED PHOBIA OF ANOTHER

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kaibascorpse · 1 month

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some of you people are so obsessed with having an acceptable group to ‘punch up’ at that you would rather pretend a marginalized group are Basically The Oppressors™ than listen to their valid criticisms about the fact that ‘punching up’ very rarely hits the intended target, and the majority of the actual damage of that act is suffered by fellow marginalized people in your own community. there is a significant difference between venting frustrations about privileged groups and just outright attacking anyone who (you assume) experiences that axis of privilege regardless of - and in many cases outright denying - their actual lived experiences. it goes far beyond just ‘venting frustrations’ when what you’re really doing is trying to find a moral justification to bully people you don’t like, and when your own desire for catharsis and moral superiority leads to ignoring the voices of the vulnerable people you hurt. you’re not ‘punching up’ - you just like punching people for the sake of punching.

#in writing this im primarily thinking about #transandrophobia #but i kept the language vague bc really its much more widespread than this one issue #this post is about all the queer groups that get ostracized for not being oppressed enough or having ‘too much privilege’#getting lumped in w the oppressors bc we are assumed to have the same privilege and power as them even when we quite literally do not #gaining conditional privileges for not being visibly/openly queer is not the same as having systemic privilege.#at best it’s a defense mechanism that comes with the constant threat of having that privilege revoked should anyone realize you’re queer #if being ‘privileged’ requires hiding or not acknowledging part of your identity then it’s not really a privilege.#my posts

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

#apollo don't fucking touch this one #serious post #not a shitpost #hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day #fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists #i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown #at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal #i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid #like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies #and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line #probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored #luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry #while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent #also eggs are $15

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theparallaxview · 3 months

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I feel like both internet liberals and leftists have a tendency to reverse-Great Man Theory Ronald Reagan at the expense of any insight into the history of his policies or the conservative movement that led up to him.

#YOU CAN’T JUST BLAME EVERYTHING ON HIM WITHOUT TACITLY ABSOLVING COUNTLESS OTHER MONSTERS AND THE WHOLE FUCKING SYSTEM OF ITS GUILT.#IT’S DEEPLY INDIVIDUALISTIC AND ARGUABLY ANTIHISTORICAL.#Anyway this is because I saw a post that blamed him for the US backing brutal regimes in the global south under the guise of anticommunism.#When that famously started back in the post-WWII era and has its roots in Monroe Doctrine ideology.#FYI I fucking hate him but he’s a part of a larger picture.#(Anyway I study American politics during the Cold War with a focus on the rise of the far right.)#original content #100 #500 #1k

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seagreenlaurin · 3 days

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Luo Binghe 🩸

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a-study-in-bullshit · 4 months

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is it not a shame my native tongue is not mine?

#web weaving #webweaving #the human condition #a-study-in-bullshit #gaeilge #it upsets me #that i can barely speak any irish #a failure on both my part and the education systems but wtvr #it makes me sad #tá brón orm mar nìl mé abailta ag caint gaeilge nios fearr #idk if thats correct

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reimeichan · 30 days

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Hey, you know that persecutor alter you got there? The one you keep from fronting usually because you're afraid they're gonna do something awful and hurt you or hurt someone you love or anything else you just don't want to happen?

Can you do me a favor and get them some ice cream for me please? Or if you're allergic or lactose intolerant or just hate ice cream, any other treat you think they may like? Or if they don't like anything maybe share a favorite food with them? Or a favorite toy? Just. Show them there's some nice things out there in the world, too. That it's not all hurt and trauma out there. And that you care about them or even just respect their right to exist.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #by green #I feel so strongly about persecutor parts #you all deserve love and respect and I hope you get that from your system someday

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turtleblogatlast · 20 days

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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water

Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bless their hearts but they’re nasty #it’s funny because like #each and every one of them has moments #where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy #and then the next they have STANDARDS #can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa #even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here #bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros #bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it #but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss #pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross #100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon #because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy #THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES #the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow #April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr #honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all #just by virtue of being a chef #Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like #a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work #Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross #Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk #all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now

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the-habitat-sysblog · 3 months

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"none of my alters have fronted recently, does that mean i'm faking?"

hey. you're an alter too, remember? you are as much a part in this team as any other part. you're important. just because other alters haven't fronted recently doesn't automatically mean you were wrong, or "faking". parts get front stuck; it happens! switching slows down; it happens! the rest of the system quiets down for a while; it happens! especially if you are newly-discovered.

be patient. be kind to yourself. you are the only alter that needs to front right now in order to be "valid". you know what you've experienced, you know you aren't trying to fake this, so know that fronting alone for a while will not take these experiences away from you.

good luck & take care. 🤍

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lost-sheep · 9 months

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Before the dawn has come, I'd block the sun If you want it done

#人渣反派自救系统 #danmei #bingqiu #luo binghe #scumbag system #mxtx svsss #shen qingqiu #沈清秋 #洛冰河 #svsss #scum villian self saving system #scumbag self saving system #hozier #de selby part 2 #hozier's unearth is made for bingqiu prove me wrong #svsss fanart #shen yuan #svsss shen qingqiu #bingyuan

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doctorsiren · 8 months

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Totally real image of Beanix trying to set up the MASON system

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #phoenix wright #beanix #aa4 #aa4 spoilers #<- technically ig #ace attorney fanart #meme redraw #art #digital art #my art #fanart #procreate #bro’s not good with tech but then he pulls up with this time travelin’ jury system like bro huh who helped you with that part #that’s enough meme redraws for today time to work on actual stuff haha

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theinsomniacindian · 5 months

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Indian Chaotic Academia Pt. 1

Wanting to wear jumpers and hoodies but changing your mind after looking at the daily temperature

Scoring 97% in English in your board exams but your spoken English makes you sound like you are an illiterate crackhead

Messy yet (somewhat) intelligible handwriting

A weak spot for old Bollywood songs regardless of your personal taste in music

Wanting to study in a park or a cafe but you can't as they're too loud and busy

Adrak chai is the solution to everything

Muting the class WhatsApp group so you can read angsty fanfiction at 3 a.m. without alerting your parents

Buying several highlighters but still end up using blunt pencils to mark important study material

At some point, a B is the best grade you'll ever find in your report card

Reading the Mahabharata at the back of the class in the same way you would read a modern novel ("Nooo, why did he have to die 😭")

Coming up with ideas for study charts but never actually making them

The poem you have to learn in your regional language class is actually your favourite childhood song

Getting the 'Slytherin house' that always comes last in every school event

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bytedykes · 3 months

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[ID: SVSSS fanart of Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. It's the scene from volume 1 where Liu Qingge is having a qi deviation. He's on the floor, face and clothes splattered with blood. Shen Qingqiu has a hand on his shoulder, and smiles as he says, "You're too hot- I mean too young to die. We should be friends now." Liu Qingge scowls at him, angry and confused, thinking "wtf" repeatedly and with question marks floating around his head. /end ID]

this is basically what happened i think

#really funny how this is like. the lqg introduction scene. can you even imagine what hes feeling rn #anyway this is kind of a study of the original drawing idk #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #shen qingqiu #liu qingge #nik art #misc #the specific part im making a joke of is when sqq says “a beauty fading-- ahem‚ dying so young” like shut the fuck up loser jdhjdskk #liushen #<- I GUESS

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blue-mood-blue · 5 months

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I’ve grown to appreciate the aus where Shen Yuan enters the story as “Shen Yuan” - same name, probably similar face, generally able to interact with PIDW as himself and change the story through his added presence. I like the sense of “if only you’d been here, things might have been better the first time around” of it all.

And I was thinking, it’s a funny coincidence in that scenario that someone named Shen Yuan gets put into… another Shen Yuan. What are the chances? What a weird twist of fate that Airplane would pick out the name that his most dedicated critic could slip into seamlessly.

What about a version where it’s not coincidence at all?

Airplane goes to school with a kid named Shen Yuan. He’s prickly and hard to approach and a little intense, but Airplane is persistent. In fairness, Airplane is relentless - and maybe it’s a good thing that they end up being friends, because they’re a little too much for anyone else to handle. They balance each other out. They’re the “weird kids” in class and they’re okay with that, because even when they don’t have any words for it, they know they’re not like their classmates, not really. That’s okay; they don’t want to be.

Recesses and breaks are consumed with the elaborate stories that Airplane wants to tell, and all the holes Shen Yuan pokes into them. It’s not mean-spirited, though, even though Shen Yuan isn’t the kind to temper his words. It’s passionate. He cares about those stories the way Airplane cares about them, and it can’t be mistaken for anything else when they lean together conspiratorially across the lunchroom table. They’ve both got notebooks filled with details and characters and monsters. Shen Yuan’s practically got a whole bestiary sketched out in wobbly childhood attempts at art, entries fervently scrawled beside them. Airplane prattles out plots nonstop, always with the promise of shining eyes and being asked “what happens next?”

They come up with a whole world together. Airplane’s going to write about it someday. Shen Yuan is going to read every word.

Shen Yuan misses school. Shen Yuan starts missing school a lot.

Airplane goes to the hospital room instead. He doesn’t think to worry, because Shen Yuan is okay - that’s what he says. He looks okay, and he’s a kid, and it doesn’t feel real that anything bad should happen to a kid. He doesn’t think to worry. He doesn’t think to say goodbye.

It’s one of the older Shen brothers who catches him on the way up to the room one day, in the hallway just outside - snaps at him to go the fuck home, and when Airplane hesitates, pushes him into the elevator and tells him not to come back. “Tells” is a generous way to describe the way the words come out - a growl, a hiss, the sound an animal would make when a hand got too close to a wound.

(It’s not fair to name a villain after him, even if the name never really comes up in the story. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He’d lost a brother minutes before, and he was getting his brother’s friend out of the way so he didn’t have to… see. It isn’t fair, but then, none of it is fair.)

Death feels very real after that.

The notebooks get shoved into a closet, and it’s not until Airplane’s moving out and one falls on him from a high shelf that he thinks about it again. He’s written things, lots of things, but nothing as ambitious as this - nothing as important. It could be good, he considers. He’d promised. Shen Yuan wanted to read it.

The problem was that no one else does, not for a long time, not until Airplane has whittled himself and his art into a corner and into such an unfamiliar shape that he has to wonder how it’s still his own face he sees in the mirror. He has to eat. He has to pay rent. Shen Yuan would yell at him, but Shen Yuan isn’t there to yell at him, and who cares. Who cares if it could have been better? The people who actually are here love it, and it’s paying his bills, and sometimes stories don’t go the way they’re supposed to and the world is fucking unfair. It doesn’t matter.

(It does. But he shoves that thought away along with styrofoam cups and soda bottles to the bottom of a garbage bag.)

Authors are not gods and their power is limited, but Airplane exercises just a sliver of what he’s been granted and gifts an inconsequential sort of immortality. He thinks about making him a rogue cultivator, maybe the kind that goes around documenting beasts and compiling his findings. He thinks about making him someone too powerful for death to touch, or too important to threaten, but when Airplane looks at the world he crafted and everything that’s become of it, it feels like the kindest thing he can do for Shen Yuan is a childhood where he’s loved, and a death that’s peaceful. What does it say about that world, that he’d kill off his best friend too early again instead of making him live there?

(The best writing he ever does is the only, shining moment of humanity that his scum villain ever displays: a lament about death that comes too early, about a brother gone too soon. The commenters praise him. The commenters flatter over how real the emotions feel. The commenters don’t get any response from Airplane on that chapter.)

Death is incredibly real when it comes for him too early, too, still hovering over his keyboard with the story technically finished and incredibly incomplete. Airplane could tell himself that’s because the written version can never be the version in the writer’s head, always shifting and with every possibility still on the table, but he knows better than that. The System knows better than that, with its condescending message about “improving” his writing and “closing plot holes” and “achieving his original vision”...

…and he’s a child again. He’s a child in his own story, he’s Shang Qinghua now without the benefit yet of a peak or cultivation or anything, and maybe he’s a little bitter, and a little scared, and…

And Shen Yuan - with longer hair, with robes, with a couple of older kids watching him from across the street, but undeniably the prickly little boy who used to sit down imperiously across from him and tell him everything that was wrong with the chuck of writing that had been handed to him last period, but with that smile that said he was only invested because he knew it could be better and they were going to make it better - marches up to him with a fire in his eyes and a frown that warns of a coming tirade.

“You told it wrong,” is the first thing he says.

Shang Qinghua wants to ask how him how he’s here, how this is possible, or maybe laugh because, yeah - yeah, Shen Yuan has no goddamn idea how wrong he got absolutely everything.

(Shang Qinghua wants to say “I missed you” and “why did you leave so soon” but he’s here now. He’s right here.)

“I know,” he says instead. “I’m sorry. It all kind of… spiraled out of control.”

Shen Yuan frowns, but then it dissipates the way it always does, and his eyes shine with ideas the way they always used to. “That’s okay,” he relents, grabbing for his hand. “We’ll fix it. We’ll make it what it was supposed to be.”

#scum villain self saving system #svsss #shang qinghua #shen yuan #airplane shooting towards the sky #this got more into the feelings than i thought it would #surprising no one #anyway just! childhood friends au! as a reason for a shen yuan insert!#obviously he is not going to die as a child in this version #shang qinghua would not have that nope not again #also pls consider poor shen jiu who looks at this child that shen yuan has picked out for a best friend like '...really? that one??'#(it's up to you if he's shen yuan's actual brother from his first life)#(put there's a part of me that likes the idea that shen jiu also gets a second chance to spend more time with his brother)#a second chance for them to grow up together!#THAT SAID #RIP TO SHANG QINGHUA #WHEN SHEN YUAN IS OLD ENOUGH TO LEARN ABOUT ALL THE PAPAPA #the LOOKS shang qinghua is going to get #anyway here have a thing because I CANNOT add another au to my drafts thank you and goodbyyyyye

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