#thank you for the ask I had so much fun rambling!!

[thecapricunt1616]

Coriander (c.b. one-shot)

♡ Chapter Inspo: Love, health, immortality, and protection. Tie fresh coriander with a ribbon and hang in the home to bring peace & protection. Add to love charms and spells to bring romance or use in ritual work to ease the pain of a broken love affair. Promotes peace among those who are unable to get along. Use the seeds in love sachets and spells. ♡ Summary: You are in a FWB situation with Richie, Mikey dies - Carmy comes home to run The Beef, and suddenly...you find yourself in a FWB situation with Carmy as well, what happens when Carmy makes you two official in secret so he can have you all to himself? ♡ W/C: 5.3K+ ♡ Posted Date: 05/29/2024 ♡ A/N: Hellooooo! Happy day 4/7 of the Capri 200 Follower Celebration Extravaganza!!! You can find said extravaganza ♡Here♡ this celebration will be going until next Sunday (06/02/24) so get your requests in! Here's another celebration ask on the books! This ask is from a sweet anon, ask can be found right ♡Here♡ - Thank you so much for your request! As you can tell by the word count I got very inspired! I hope you enjoy :D This could easily have a part 2 so if you want one, just let me know in the comments This is kind of a Richie/Carmy thing i've never written Richie before and I had a whole lot of fun doing so! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, FWB Relationships, Smoking, Usual TB trigger warnings, Asshole!Carmy (kinda), Angst, No real comfort to be found in the end, Age gap relationships, Rough sex, smutsmutsmut, No uses of Y/N, Reader not described (pics are for vibes only)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You had been working at The Bear since it was The Beef. 3 months before Mikey died, you were hired as a food runner. You’d met Mike maybe twice? Both times, the guy was high out of his mind- so you couldn’t say much about his character. 

Richie on the other hand, was flirty. He was handsome, he was funny, he had a huge cock. You were in your third year of college, Richie was smitten with your girlish charm, and you’d fucked those 3 months pretty consistently - until Carmy came back to Chicago. 

You’d been warned his ‘cousin’ was a big shot NYC chef, ‘Michelin Starred’ Richie said one night while fucking your brains out after a stressful shift as he smoked a cigarette in his shitty, dimly lit apartment. Puffs of smoke left his lips as your ass bounced against his hips and he rambled on about what had pissed him off today, 

“Ye’ sweetheart- fuck-“ he took a long inhale before continuing -  “mm’y’fuckin tight baby- shit-“ he stuttered as your pussy clenched around his cock firmly as your second orgasm washed over you, thighs shivering. “Thaaas it- huh? Gooood girl. Knew y’could do it babygirl” he kissed the dimple on your spine as you shivered, tendrils of smoke trailing up your back and over your hips. 

He then sat up, casually taking another drag, tightening his non-dominant hand around your hip so there would be little fingertip bruises once more over the yellowing hearing ones, and continued, his bruising pace getting rougher and quicker as he continued chasing his own orgasm. 

The meat of your ass and the skin of his hips made smacking sounds as they came together. Pathetic little whines drag from your lips with each rough kiss the tip of his cock gave your cervix as he just continued talking like he wasn’t using you like a fuck doll. 

“he uh, has a Michelin star- whatever that means? He’s a little prick. Guess that’s ahh-fuck- that’s why Mike left it t’him- he knows how t’make fancy shit- little fuckin’ Eleven Madison Park dickhead”  he grunted as he filled you up, spanking you roughly for good measure. 

“Good girl. Always take it like a little whore mm?” He puts out his cigarette in the ashtray. He pats your hip gently as he pulls out, collapsing next to you with an old man grunt that you always teased him for. “Ey’ sweet girl, Y’wanna rub my back since I fucked y’so good mm? So I won’t be sore at work tomorrow?” He pulled you close, kissing your neck, his stubble making you shiver as cum leaked down your beard-burned thighs. 

That was how you spent one to three nights a week since you’d started working at The Beef. 

Then, Carmy came. For the first 6 or so months, it was business as usual for you and Richie. Quiet spanks on the ass as you walked by him during rush as you brought food out to a customer, sometimes letting him fuck your face in the back alley as he went on about what an asshole Carmen was being that day. 

You just took it, the fighting, the bickering, the sexual tension. You were the go-between for the both of them, when they weren’t talking Richie would bug you to go tell Carmy what he needed to say. “Immature asshole” you’d call him at the end of the day as he knelt between your thighs in that same shitty apartment, sucking on your clit while his beard scratched up your thighs. He’d just chuckle into you, squeezing your thighs amusedly with his large hands. 

Then one day, you were in the dry storage, grabbing something for Marcus that was on the bottom shelf and heavy. You were bent over, trying to tug it out and the door shut behind you.  “Hey- sorry just gonna reach over you-“ Carmy. When you felt him press against your ass like that, his tattooed hand resting on your hip. You felt heat rushing straight for your core, your stomach flipping and fluttering.

Then, you started making moves. A brush of the hand here, a smile there, a giggle at one of his dorky jokes no one else bothered to pay attention to, of course, he noticed. The young piece of ass that used to spend all day giggling and shooting the shit with his older cousin was into him now. The first night it happened, you made sure to pick up a double on a day you usually didn’t go home with Richie, and while everyone except Carmy did their best to rush out the door as soon as they possibly could, you stuck behind. 

You went to the bathroom, fixed up your hair, and your makeup not enough to be noticeable to a guy that you’d changed, but enough to look fresh. You put on some more lipgloss, freshening up your body spray and hiking your tote bag onto your shoulder before heading out of the ladies' room into the back-of-house. You heard the swish swish of a scrub brush, and the plopping of water - and knew Carmy was still in there scrubbing something. When you turned the corner to see him on his hands and knees, muscular arms flexing as he really scrubbed that floor. You could tell there was something….about Carmen Berzatto. 

It wasn’t just the fact his brother died, it wasn’t this strange stoic seriousness he had at not even 35, it was something else. Dedication, maybe? But you weren't sure to what because not a day went by without referring to the restaurant as ‘a shithole with decent sandwiches’ - you knew he was just keeping it running because it’s what Cicero wanted and no one denied that man. But you wanted to see if that dedication or learning ability translated into the bedroom. “Damn- You could eat off that grout” you teased. His head popped up, blue eyes twinkling under the iridescent lights.

This damn family and their pretty eyes

“The hell you still doin’ here? Y’shift ended what-” he looked at the clock, “An hour and six minutes ago” he continued scrubbing at the tile with the tiny little brush. 

“Oh you memorized my shift schedule?” you teased, a small smile on your lips. You were towering over him, being sure to block his light so he would give you his attention once more.

“I make the schedule, yeah I know when my employees work” he looked up at you again “n’y’re in my light” he pushed his greasy curls out of his way with his dry hand. 

“Mmm- last I checked Chef Syd did the scheduling- unless…that changed?” you asked and he looked back at the floor, scrubbing over the same spot he had been since you came over here. 

He made a little ‘mm’ noise and was quiet for a few moments as he continued to scrub. “So why are you still here if y’not gettin’ paid?” he asked again. You crouched next to him, hugging your knees and he stopped, looking over at you. He could smell your perfume perfectly, your lipgloss glitter was shimmering in the light. He could very well near smell the mint coming off of your breath from the gum you had chewed an hour earlier. He swallowed thickly, blinking a few times how he did when he was confused he noticed and his eyes fan to your lips before back up to your eyes. “Uh-”

You cut him off “Cause I haven’t met you, Carmy. We haven’t talked, Why’s that?” you question with a small, innocent smile. It was true, he all but ignored you while he’d been here. The only time he spoke to you was when he absolutely had to tell you something or when he was assigning you your morning tasks when you first got in. 

“W-What d’you wanna know?” he asked, tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips. He was nervous. 

“Why do you ignore me for starts” you jet your bottom lip slightly out into a little barely there pout for added effect, “Tina asked me a few days ago what I did, so what did I do Carmy?” you ask gently. You knew it was because you caught him staring at you so often he thought you thought he was a creep, but you thought it was adorable how flustered he got when he’d been caught and quickly tried to make it look like he’d been focused on something else. 

“Nothin- nothin’ y-you didn’t do anything m’sorry I made you feel- what’re you-” he trailed off as you gently fixed his Saint Anthony chain so it was facing front, carefully slipping your finger under the loop and pinching it between your forefinger and thumb, adjusting the clasp to be at the back of his neck. 

“Sorry, small things like that bug me, I think little things bug you too, Carm” you said softly. His cheeks were getting pink, his pupils were widening. Your plan was working. “Is this ok?” you gently fixed the sleeve of his t-shirt over his bicep, the fabric deliciously stretching over his buff arm 

“Mhmm” he muttered, breath catching as your hand trailed up his shoulder and resting there. “Did you um- did you need something…” he asked, voice that delicious kind of soft you adored. 

“I thought you'd never ask. I’m gonna go to the back office and wait. If you think you know what I need, then come on back. If you don’t want to, we can just pretend this never happened mm?” you got up, making sure to sway your hips a tad more as you went to the back office. You pushed the door shut behind you and dropped your tote under the desk, sitting down on it and leaning back against the wall. He came in 2 minutes later, cheeks red, biting his lip as he opened the door and saw you sitting on the desk.

He blinked rapidly, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing “Jesus Christ” he muttered to himself, shutting the door behind him. “Y-y’re sure. Like- wait you mean- you mean you want me t-” 

“Do whatever you want with me, chef,” you told him in a sultry tone, watching him closely as he walked over. You’d assumed he’d be just like Richie, rough, unforgiving, and sometimes even a little mean, but the way he cupped your cheek was…gentle. 

“Are you sure you want this? M’y’r boss..I don’ want you t’feel like i’m…making you, ‘er somethin’” he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. He was so close that you could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath as well as the musky scent of the long workday mixed with his cologne. You were nearly put in a trance by it. In response, you gently rest your palm on the back of his neck, pulling him closer and giving him a gentle kiss. 

He leaned forward, resting his hand on the side of your thigh and kissing you back, his lips hesitant on yours at first but when he felt your tongue swipe his bottom lip, his hand moved to your shoulder and gently squeezed as he opened his mouth, tongue darting out to find yours. He moaned softly at your taste, his breath coming out in small hot puffs that fanned your upper lip as you explored his mouth with your tongue. His hand that was on the desk gently moved to your hip, giving a tentative squeeze. You grabbed it, bringing it to your breast and with your hand over his, guiding him to squeeze and massage it. 

He let out a little hum of realization and did as you asked, only able to do so much with a t-shirt bra and work shirt, he with trembling hands tugged at the bottom of your navy blue The Beef t-shirt, asking for permission to take it off. You pulled away, swiftly taking off the shirt and reconnecting your lips with his. Your hands made your way behind your back, unhooking your bra and pulling it off, bringing both of his hands to your breasts. You whine softly as he pinches and rolls your nipples between his fingers, the action making them even harder and perkier. He kissed down your jaw, nipping gently and sucking on the sensitive skin. 

Richie can’t know this happened 

“N-no marks babe- kay?” you said a bit breathlessly, hand trailing up to gently tug at his hair. He hummed in response, kissing down and mouthing over the hickeys Richie had left earlier in the week. You bit your lip as he continued to roll and tug your nipples kissing down your neck and when he finally got to your breasts you heard him mutter

“So fuckin perfect” before he took one of your perky abused nipples into his mouth, lightly sucking as you combed through his curls, taking out all the knots with your nimble fingers. With his other hand, he continued to massage your other breast, causing a moan to fall from your lips. 

“You wanna fuck me? Mm? Right here over the desk? You can go as hard as you want yea?” you told him, it was nice that he was spending so much time dedicated to making you feel good, but were confused why he hadn’t just…bent you over and gotten it over with by now like Richie usually did when you fucked at work. 

He pulled off with a pop, looking up at you with those wide eyes that had been darkened with lust. “Uh- Can I taste you..instead?” he asked shyly, resting his chin on your sternum gently, his hot breath puffing from his nose and tickling your chest. You raised your brows, looking at the clock - wasn’t he exhausted?! If he ate you out, that would be what - another 15 minutes on top of him getting off, would probably be another 20, so you both wouldn’t be getting out of there until 1:30 or so. 

Well, if it's what he wants.

“Sure honey” You got up, slipping out of the sweats you took the train home in usually, setting them on the desk to sit on and pushing your panties down as well after kicking off your Ugg slipper shoe-type things and sitting back on the desk, spreading your thighs for him and resting one of your heels on the edge. His mouth parted slightly, nearly dropping to his knees, his curls falling in front of his eyes but he didn’t seem to care as he kissed your inner thighs, almost enjoying his time getting you worked up. He gently sucked on your nether lip, groaning lightly at your flavor. Your mouth drops as you watch him, fully blissed out as he laps at your wet folds.

“Holy shit Carmy” you breathe, gently pushing his bangs back so you could see his pretty blue eyes once again. He looks up at you, sandy brown long lashes nearly touching his bushy brows as he connects his mouth with your clit, flicking his tongue over it and running his jaw back and forth messily, a mix of drool and your arousal running over his chin. “Wow feels so good - doin’ so good Carmy” you breathe, head falling back in pleasure and breathing picking up. He was really good at this. When Richie was in the mood (AKA his back wasn't hurting, or his knees, or his shoulder) he would give you the pleasure of eating you out, and he did it well, he always made sure you came when he did it, and you never had to fake it with him.

You weren’t going to have to fake it with Carmy, either, because holy shit - he was amazing at this. You felt that familiar tightening within’ your stomach within minutes. He took one of your thighs, throwing it over his shoulder to give himself a better angle, and ran his tongue down, slipping it inside of your pussy and moaning as you gush over his tongue when his nose runs back and forth over your clit, stimulating it most deliciously. Your thigh twitched, toes curling, and a sharp moan comes from your throat, biting down roughly on your lip. “God- god Carmy, I’m cumming” you warn, Gripping his curls rougher which seemed to edge him on, rubbing you rougher with his nose and curling his tongue up against your gummy walls, wet lewd noises coming from between your thighs. 

Within moments there was a fire of pleasure shooting beneath your skin as you cried out in ecstasy. Your eyes rolled beneath your lids, letting go of his hair and gripping the desk instead with a crushing grip as he worked you through the intense waves of overstimulating delight that ripped through you relentlessly. He finished with a chaste kiss on your thigh before grabbing your bra and helping you put it on as well as your panties, even finding the shirt you’d thrown and shaking off the dust from the floor before handing it over. “That was uh…really good, thank you” he wiped his chin and lips with the back of his hand, rubbing it on the back of his jeans. You shamelessly stared at his crotch and noticed the hard bulge in his jeans before looking back up at him.

“You don’t want to get rid of that? I can suck you off if you want I have a hair tie” you said, holding up your wrist to show him. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. 

“No- no you don’t owe me anything, I got what I needed don’worry. See y’tomorrow- make sure you leave through the back I already locked up the front” he said, leaving the office and closing the door behind him to give you some privacy. You sat in shock for a moment, blinking a few times. All he wanted from you was to eat you out? You’d never met another guy who simply ate you out and that was it - they’d always…expected something from you after, and of course, you gave it because you felt like they’d paid you a favor just by eating you out first even if you didn’t finish. You slip your work shirt back on, get up, and put on your sweats with shaky legs before slipping your shoes back on. 

It continued like this, the days you weren't fucking Richie, you were in the back office getting eaten until you nearly passed out. Until The Beef started getting renovated, then the days you weren’t getting your brains fucked out in Richie's bed, your thighs spread wide at odd hours of the morning on Carmens’ couch, some random cooking show playing in the background as he lapped at your pussy like a man starved on his knees in front of you after kissing down your body like you were a goddess to be worshipped. If you were quite honest, you liked this routine. It felt perfect for you, you knew where your feelings lay for both of the men, and it was a stable comfortable routine on both sides. 

For Richie, it was fun and flirtatious. Sneaky spanks when you came to visit and help him renovate the restaurant with Neil, rough makeout sessions in the back alley when he went out for a smoke, rough near bruising quickies in the soon-to-be walk-in freezer that hadn’t been set up yet, so it was a nice little private area you two could go. He’d even started stealing a kiss or two when you weren’t being sexual. He was protective of you, Carmy started noticing this. That was why a few weeks before the big opening, he had started being a bit more handsy with you. 

The two of you started spending a lot more time together, and you realized he was even opening up to you a bit more. He began asking to see you more often, taking you out with him when he had to run errands for the opening. When he took you with him to the restaurant supply store, he had his hand rested on your lower back, gently rubbing circles as he explained to you the difference between the bunch of different kinds of cutlery. You had been baffled that there were 11 different kinds of butter knives there and he explained to you the difference between them, as well as showed you which sets went together.

It was strange you were clenching your thighs together while a man chatted you up over silverware, but the way he guided your hand to hold them so you were doing it ‘properly’ when you picked one up to get a closer look, had your heart jumping to your throat. That specific encounter was the first time you’d been able to really fuck him, and also draw some dominance out of him as well. It wasn't even his day with you, he knew it - he very well knew this, but little did you know that was the reason why he did it. You rode him hard and fast in the back of his van in the parking lot, he’d made sure to move to a spot in the way back where no one else had been parked so the two of you didn’t get caught and thrown on a registry, of course.

So, that night when you had met up with Richie after he had made you dinner and bent you over the couch for your usual Wednesday night activities - by the first yank of your hips you squeaked, “Gentle - please, daddy, not too rough..” you were glad he was taking you from behind, because you couldn’t bare the confused sweet sorry look on his face. You never asked him to be gentle with you, of course he obliged- because it was all an act. Richie was a big softie, a teddy bear. He just liked to fool around and put on the big mean daddy act in the bedroom because it was fun for the both of you.t in the bedroom because it was fun for the both of you. But he would never really want to hurt you. 

“Wha’s wrong baby, mm? Why you hurtin’?” He held you up by your ribs, sweetly kissing your hairline as he thrusted slower and softer in and out of you, gently resting his lips against your forehead “was I too hard Monday? M’sorry my sweet girl” he rubbed over your breast gently as he continued his gentler strokes. His sweet girl. That caused your heart to sting a bit. You didn’t know that he liked you too, the same way you liked him. Unless it was just an act? You hope it was an act. 

“Yeah” you said, knees going weaker when he reached around your front and toyed with your clit, your hips bucking at the soreness Carmen had left you with earlier. 

“Yeah? Y’never been like this before sweetheart” he kissed over your neck, beard scratching at your skin. 

“Mm- s’okay- feels good- like it when it hurts like this” you rest your head back on his shoulder, closing your eyes and feeling a pit of guilt setting in your stomach. Would it hurt him if he found out you had started fooling around with Carmy? You hoped not, but couldn’t help but wonder. They were family. Most of all you would hope it wouldn’t make him insecure due to the much closer proximity Carmy and your ages were. You were so lost in your own head that you didn’t even realize he was finishing inside of you like normal moaning into your hair. 

“So good- such a good girl” he kissed your head. “go get cleaned up kid, gotta get outta here early t’day cus’ I needa go to Eva’s school play thing” he pats your ass gently and pulled out, leaving you draped over the arm of the couch naked from the waist down and cum leaking down your thighs. You shut your eyes for a moment, rubbing over your face before standing up and doing as he said. 

A little over a week later, Carmy asked you to go straight with him. Well. Not really, he asked you if you were fucking other people to which you gave a simple yes and he just said ‘oh…wish I could be the only one’ you teased him and asked if that meant you wanted to be together, just the two of you and he said yes. So, you stopped fucking Richie. You stopped letting him kiss you in dry storage - you stopped having your ass be available for slapping as he walked by. 

And man, was it hard. He looked like a sad puppy, a small pout coming to his lips when you turned your cheek causing him to kiss that instead of your lips. “ ‘ey-“ he turned your face towards him “where’s my kiss?” You just looked down at the floor, before turning and grabbing the bag of onions you’d been sent in there to get and saying 

“I don’t think we should keep doing this. We should…just work together.” As much as you hated to say it, you did. Then you left the dry storage, and Richie felt his heart crack slightly. Things with him felt way more real then with Carmy, but Carmy was the one who asked you to be his, so you just…went with who asked. You had thought that was the best choice. Even though you stomped on his heart that day, he still cracked jokes with you, and was the same sweet dork you worked with before you started hooking up, the sweet dork that made you want to hook up with him in the first place. 

2 days before the friends and family opening, Carmy invited you over to his so he could cook for you. You’d been able to have his cooking once before, when he’d had you come over right in front of Richie at The Beef, and held a spoon to your lips, a hand under your chin for you to try something he’d come up with. Tonight he was making his familys pasta, and when you’d got there you nearly jumped his bones when he was wearing a work shirt from The Beef. You’d never seen him in it before, he’d never worn it to work even though everyone else had to be wearing theirs.

 You had a joke with yourself that he knew how yummy and slutty he looked in those stupid plain white t’s so thats why he kept wearing them.

“Hey sexy” You’d said when he opened the door, standing on your toes to kiss him deeply. He hummed, pulling you inside quickly and shutting the door behind you both so no neighbors would see. He grabbed your ass with his palms, squeezing it and spanking you lightly.

“Hey pretty girl” he said, kissing your top lip messily “y’hungry, right? Dinners almost done” he carefully brushed your hair from your face, looking down into your eyes with one of his sweet smiles.

“Mm always hungry for the best chef in the worlds food” you mused, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and playing with his curls “Why’d you never wear this at work, mm? Y’look sexy babe” you kissed his neck. He hummed, hands trailing up your back and palming over your ribs.

“Cause they’re itchy, and it’s laundry day” he said as you rubbed over his chest, grabbing at his pecks and squeezing at the flesh. He chuckled, brushing your hands “jesus someones handsy eh? He cupped your cheeks, angling your eyes towards him “food’ll burn, go wash up yeah? I’ll get y’plate ready” he pecked your lips and ran his hands down your front, grabbing your hand nd pressing it to his lips before heading back to the kitchen.

You followed as he said, going to the restroom and washing your hands as well as your makeup off with the makeup wipes that lived in his bathroom for you now, before going to his bedroom. You stepped out of your stupid waitress uniform, slipping on his white shirt that kissed just below your bum. You padded out to the kitchen, seeing him wiping the edge of your plates off with a paper towel, a kitchen rag over his shoulder. God, he looked so amazing in his element. “Hey” you said gently, going to hug him from behind 

“Hey sweet girl, just about done” he sprinkled some fresh parsley over the dish masterfully, before gently rubbing over the back of your hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing it. “How was the train?” he asked and you pulled away, walking over to his couch and sitting since he’d never bothered to get a kitchen table. 

“Okay, weirdo was playing a ukelele again” you plopped down, crossing your legs and looking over at the random dutch cooking program he had been watching from his station in the kitchen, “You speak dutch?” you asked, he chuckled and you weren’t sure at which statement. 

“No, I don’t, I just watch, and I know what they’re doin’ by the look usually.” he came over, setting a beautiful plate of pasta in your lap and sitting down with the small pot he used for sauce, that he’d mixed the noodles in half hazardly and twirled some of the noodles on the fork, taking a bite. 

Classic Carmy, serving you a Michelin Starred dish, and eating the leftover scraps. 

That was the night you really fell for him. Especially after he did the same thing that he did the first time the two of you hooked up, put you first. Even if he didn’t want you to touch him, even if he was too shy to cuddle you before you fell asleep. You really felt your heart crack open for him.

The night of friends and family, though, you may as well have been a stranger. No matter what you did that night to get his attention, he fully ignored you and snapped at you, and everyone, to ‘pick up your fucking pace’. You had never had him snap at you like this. All you wanted to do was go joke around with Richie, maybe pull him into the dry storage for a quick makeout - but you couldn’t, not anymore. You missed him. You missed your old man, as much as he despised you calling him that, you adored the way he frowned and spanked you in response to the name, telling you ‘it’s already unfair when we go out they think y’my daughter’ 

When you had find out that Carmy had been locked in the freezer - your first instict was to rush to the back of house, comfort him- tell him it would all be fine, but you knew you couldn’t do that, and it would piss him off if you did so. You were his well kept secret, and he wanted you to stay that way. You had found out from Syd, who was really the only one to know about your short-lived relationship - since Carmy seemed to be more open with her then he did with you - his supposed girlfriend. 

“He’s ok, he’s fine- look, just keep pace, ok, me and Richie will handle this - bring the plates from tinas station to table 11, ok?” she told you calmly, giving you a quick reassuring hug before whisking you off to do your job. You did as she said, putting on a smile and bringing the food out to the table, setting it down the way you’d been trained and telling them what was what before telling them to enjoy and heading back to the kitchen to pick up another round of food to bring out to an awaiting hungry group of patrons.

Three hours later, when the night was finally coming to a close- you decided it was a good time to go check on Carmy. All the guests had left, and it was just the staff at this point. You knew that the fire department was on the way since Richie had let everyone know they’d been called, and Syd was back there trying to calm him down. What you didn’t know, was Syd had told Carmy to hold on for a moment because she was gonna go tell her father goodbye and thank him for coming, so he had been left all alone in the back of house, in the freezer.

You walked in, hearing him rambling as you walk up, listening closely to what he was saying.

“Like- Like right? Right?” he chuckled a bit “W-what the fuck was I thinkin’? Huh? The fuck was I thinkin’, Syd? Like - Like I was gonna be in- “ he laughed a bit “In- i-in a relationship- er- er some shit? I-I’m a fuckin- a fuckin psycho- thats thats why, thats why I’m good at what I do, thats how I operate, Syd, you wanna be the best? I am the fucking best, because I didn’t have- any- any of this - this fuckin…bullshit! Right? I-I- I could focus, and I could concentrate, and I- I had a fuckin’ routine, an- and I had fuckin cell reception! An-” he paused. You felt your heart crack, tears filling your eyes,

You were bullshit to him.

He continued, “I dont need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I dont need to- to receive, any amusement- or - or enjoyment. Y’know? And I’m…I’m completely fine, with that. Because absolutely no amount of good, is worth how fuckin’ shitty this feels. S’just…a complete waste of my fucking time.” 

You let out the sob you were holding back, gasping a breath, shaking your head and with a trembling voice, you say, “I’m really sorry you feel this way, Carmy…” before rushing out of the kitchen, hot tears running down your cheeks. You grab your bag from behind the counter, slamming into richie on the way out of the restaurant and he stopped you, grabbing your arm. 

“Hey- hey kid” he said, and the soothing sound of his voice made you break down fully, starting to sob so hard you couldnt see straight, collapsing into his chest. 

“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry for being so shitty- I- I dont deserve you” you cried, hugging him tightly, “I have-” you took a gasping breath and look up at him “I- i’m done- tell Carmy that I’m done here….” you let go of him and rush out, quickly walking towards the train station the wind whipping your wet cheeks. You pulled out your phone, calling Carmy to leave him a voicemail. 

“Hey, uh…I don’t know why you fuckin’ asked me out- but uh- fuck you, carmy. Youre right- you deserve nothing- youre a coward, and an asshole. I hate you for making me love you” you hung up, shoving your phone in your pocket, not even caring the admission that slipped past your lips as you stomped up the stairs to the L platform.

Back at the restaurant, Richie storms into the kitchen, slamming his palm on the freezer door. “Yo- the fuck did you just do?” he asked, voice laced with anger.

“I-I don’know. I-I don’ know what the fuck she heard. Dunno” Carmy said, voice indifferent to the entire thing, which just made anger bubble in his chest at his lack of caring. Richie slams his hand into the door harder, making Carmy jump a bit.

“No- asshole, I said - the fuck did you just say, to that fuckin’ girl?” Richie repeated, getting louder now.

“Richie” Carmy said, sighing to himself.

“Richie? Richie What- Tell me! Tell me, What the fuck. What the fuck did you just say to that fuckin girl, Carmen” 

“Will you just shut the FUCK UP AND GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE PLEASE!” Carmy shouts, not having any part of being scolded when his fingertips felt like ice. 

“Oh- oh yeah, I’ll get y’the fuck outta there, Donna” Richie mocked, so angry he didnt care how deeply he cut in the moment.

“The fuck you just say t’me?” Carmy challanged

“I-” Richie sighed, knowing he just took things too far and dropped his head back in annoyance.

“N-no- Richie- What the fuck did you just say?” Carmy asks, louder this time, Pounding on the door when he didnt get a response. 

“Yo- cousin, cousin look - I don’t know why you gotta fuck up everything good in your life. That girl is nice, shes a good fuckin friend t’you” Richie explained, completely oblivious to everything that had really been going on. 

“Are you -” Carmen laughs “Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” he spits, the comparison to his mother causing fire to race through his veins.

“No- No i’m not, cousin, someones gotta tell you this shit, ‘eh? First fuckin friend after comin’ home you go ahead and make her cry?!” Richie scolded.

“FUCK YOU! Fuck you Richie!” Carmy yells, running his hands through his hair,

“Ohhh yea, here we go, fuck me, yeeeaaa Carm” he mocked him.

“Yeah! Yeah fuck you fuckin loser. You wouldn’t have shit without me. So fuck you!” carmy shouted at him, his breath coming out in large frosty puffs in front of him.

“Oh-” Richie chuckled, a twinge in his chest that Carmy was willing to cut so deep so quickly “Yeah- yeah tough guy” he mocked, voice getting meeker

“Yeah! Yeah! You- Or y’fuckin kid- fuckin loser - only reason you have anything is me!” Carmy roars, slamming on the door “so ye’ cousin, fuck you!” 

“My KID? Y’gonna talk about my KID? Well at least I have a fuckin kid! What d’you have other then a restaurant, jackass!” he yelled back.

“YEAH? I HAVE THE GIRL YOU BEEN FUCKIN’ FOR THE PAST YEAR, MORON. Why you think she dropped you so fast? Huh? You fucking idiot! She chose me- so ye’. I am the reason you have what you have AND I’LL TAKE WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT. FUCK YOU” He yelled through the door, kicking it with his chefs clog.

Richies mouth dropped, stepping back and feeling as if he’d just been stabbed in the heart. “What?” he said, believing his ears were playing tricks on him, how could Carmy do such a thing to him?

“Yeah- yeah. She chose me, and guess what, I fucked her because i wanted to show you I could. Y’fuckin prick” he sat down on one of the boxes of frozen steaks, rubbing over his face roughly. Richie raced out of the kitchen, telling Syd he was ‘done’ and quickly taking out his phone to call you. 

Back in the freezer, Carmens phone buzzed. He looked at it, seeing a voicemail from you that finally pushed through. When he heard your sad, broken voice, admit that he’d caused you to hate him by his behaviour made him chuck his phone against the freezer wall so hard that the screen shattered.

Never so badly had he ever fucked up, and by doing so he lost the best thing to ever happen to him.

#Capri 200 follower celebration #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #the bear fic #the bear #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fluff #the bear carmen #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy #carmy x you #carmy smut #carmy x fem!reader #carmen berzatto the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto the bear #borders & banners by saradika #richie jerimovich x you #richie jerimovich

[sirludox]

please tell me all about your zosan pony verse i love them!

Oh my god it would be an honour! I'll start off by mentioning that the reason I chose Sanji as a pegasus was I see his more flamboyant personality fitting that better and i just could not imagine a horse wielding 3 swords without some sort of help so I tinkered how unicorn magic works slightly with it being more closely related to mental and physical strength rather than just being a sort of cheat code haha! Also it was fun imagining a more brutish unicorn compared to the usual elegance of one! Zoro did in fact lose his horn with his first meeting of Mihawk! I was debating making him lose it when he lost his eye but I felt like him dedicating himself even more to training and meditation to make up for what he's lost fit better with it occurring much earlier on than randomly off screen like his eye. Sanji also witnessing him lose his horn yet still declare his loyalty and never losing a fight again would push Sanji to join the crew since he cant fly Sanji, like I said, can't fly mostly related to a) the deformed genes from the poison and b) his wings were bound down when he was a kid by Judge while he was imprisoned much like how he had the helmet on. While their growth wasn't affected, having no prior training on top of the messed up genes means as much as he can do with "flying" is gliding off of tall places or high up but even then that's limited. His "sky walk" is still done with his legs like in the original, so while he can technically "fly", he can't feel the wind between his wings like he normally should for having wings and so he often enjoys spreading his wings out on windy days to ease the desire of "freedom"! He uses his wings primarily as he would hands now, using them to carry food and dishes out and express emotions with them, and absolutely hates having them constricted (it begins to freak him out slightly). Sanji then learnt to use his legs (mostly his back ones) for fighting from Zeff (whom im still debating lost a leg or a wing) and the rest is history! These two still bicker and are the exact same as they are in the original, just with the bonus addition of them bonding over them missing their core "features" of their kind, a broken horn and useless wings. They never ever bring these aspects up in a way to offend/insult the other, as they know they're both rather sensitive topics, but they both use what they've lost to their advantage and dont let any of it hold them back Some more unique quirks they have now are:

Sanji preens/grooms his feathers a LOT and takes a lot of care with them. These days (20's), he's allowed Zoro to preen him when he can't from injuries, and Zoro is good with it/surprisingly gentle after learning from Kuina

Unicorns usually rub/touch horns gently in a comforting manner between family or extremely close (wink wink) others, and butting heads/clashing is more aggressive (which is why zosan often bump heads when arguing). As a trade off for the preening Sanji will often gently touch his head to Zoro's as thanks, or when he's in a particularly bad spot (be it physically or mentally) as a way to comfort him without words being needed to be said. Sanji doesn't know the more romantic connotations of it <3

Sanji tends to "fluff up" during preening as subconsciously finding it extremely relaxing and pleasing and Zoro pokes fun at him for it a little but not too much to avoid scaring him away

40 year old Zosan here has Sanji much more comfortable asking Zoro for a preen or "demanding for it" and Zoro finds it "so annoying" but does it anyway (theyre grossly in love)

Sanji will tease Zoro for being so "brute" as a unicorn, and Zoro teases Sanji for being a "dumb peacock"

Sorry for so much of a ramble haha they're just so much fun to work with, and included a couple sketches to kind of go along with things and explore other characters! If you (or anyone) has any other questions I'll be happy to answer ❤️ (sorry if some of this doesnt make sense haha)

#one piece #op #roronoa zoro #zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #zosan

[foreverfangirlsblog]

Husk x Mute! Reader

3356 Words

Summary:

Husk wasn't at the Hotel when you were first introduced to the residents so how was he supposed to know you couldn't talk? He would try to make conversation with you but to no avail. Was it something he did? Did you simply not like him? You seemed to get along with everyone else...so why not him? And even more so, why did it bother him so much?

**This is cross posted

The most recent extermination was a rough one...you didn't double die but you did run into some extremely heinous exorcists. Instead of killing you the group of exorcists decided to have "fun" and torture you. The torture included many beatings, cuts, and degrading. But worst of all...they decided to rip your tongue out after you threw some vulgar words their way. Even though they didn't kill you they may have well left you for dead, who knows maybe after all their torture and mutilation they really did think that they finished you off. Not you, you wouldn't give that easily. No way in hell.

The next couple of days after the extermination you went from alley to alley trying to avoid as many people as you can. Your apartment was also blown up by the bastards and without the ability to talk, well what were you supposed to do? You couldn't get a new place without talking, you had no phone to help you translate, so sleeping on the streets honestly seemed like the easier option.

One night as you were huddled up in the corner of an alley trying your best to drown out the surrounding noise someone came up to you. You tried ignoring them as the approached but they were coming straight for you and then tapped your shoulder, can't avoid them now.

You sighed as you raised your head from your fetus position. The girl standing before you was a tall girl with light blonde hair and red circles for cheeks, dressed in a red suit. "Hello!" she said way too enthusiastically. "My name is Charlie! I couldn't help but notice you over here..." she took a look around you, noticing your belongings in some dufflebags to the side of you. "...are you living on the streets?"

You slightly nodded annoyed that she would ask such an obvious question.

"Oh that's great!" she said as she bounced, clapping her hands together in glee.

Your face was deadpanned, as you tilted your head to the side to show confusion. 'How the fuck is that great' you thought to yourself instead of speaking like you would've liked.

"Oh no no I didn't mean-what I meant is that's great because I have a place you can live!" she said trying to clarify, but you were still confused and waited for her to continue. "I have a hotel, the Hazbin Hotel! It's a place where sinners can live for free while they try to atone for their sins, redeem themselves, and hopefully get into heaven!!!" she finished stating as she did jazz hands.

You stayed silent thinking over her proposal. You didn't really know if getting "redeemed" was actually possible but what better option did you have? Continue living on the streets? No thank you. You stood up and dusted off your pants before extending your hand out to her with a shy smile, trying to show that you'd like to take her up on her offer.

She squealed and gladly took you hand, shaking it wildly. "Oh my goodness that's amazing!! You're my first recruit!!! Well besides Angel of course...oh never mind! I'm so excited for you to come! Here come with me we can go right now! Oh! Here let me carry your bag for you too!" she rambled excitedly.

You simply laughed at her and helped her with the bags as you followed her out the alley, before she stopped."Oh wait I'm so sorry I didn't get your name."

You stiffened and stopped walking, you opened your mouth to try and say something but had no luck. 'Dammit' you thought

She looked at you puzzled so you did something you hope you won't have to do again...you open your mouth to her and pointed to show her why you weren't answering her question.

She gasped a little and gave you a look of sympathy. It's easy to assume how this happened to you so she didn't ask anymore questions. "Don't worry I have an idea" she said softly as she took out her phone from her pocket and handed it to you with it unlocked, notes app ready to go. You typed slowly into the phone and then show it to her 'My name is YN'

She grinned happily before taking the phone back "Well Y/N its so nice to meet you! Let's get you to the hotel shall we?"

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---Flash Forward to arriving to the hotel with Charlie---

Charlie burst through the doors of the hotel suddenly, eager to tell everyone the news about the newest resident. "EVERYONE GET TO THE LOBBY NOW I HAVE EXCITING NEWS!!" She yelled to an empty room.

Slowly a group of demons entered the room and gathered in the lobby space, expectedly looking to Charlie for her announcement. You saw 5 demons in total. "Everyone this is Y/N! Our newest resident!! Y/N this is Alastor, Sir Pentious, Angel, Niffty, Vaggie, and Hus-oh where's Husk?" Charlie introduced everyone one by one but then stopped, asking no one in particular.

The red deer like demon who you now know to be Alastor answered her "Oh I sent old Husker on an errand for me" His voice was filled with static like an old radio and had a tone of slyness to it.'He looks like a deer but sounds as sly as a fox' you thought to yourself.

"Oh okay no matter!" Charlie waved it off as everyone said hello to you then waited expectedly for you to return a greeting. But instead you simply waved shyly and looked at Charlie for help. "OH!"Charlie exclaimed, "I forgot to mention uh..." she hesitated "Y/N can't really talk. But no worries! I'll be going out later to get a phone for her to communicate and participate in our exercises!"

Majority of the group really didn't know how to react and just stood there looking at you with that same look of sympathy that Charlie did earlier. 'Is it sympathy or just pity?' you thought to yourself before Alastor broke the deafening silence, "Welcome my dear! In absence of our normal concierge allow me to get you settled in hm?"

With that Alastor guided you away from the others and thus started your journey to redemption.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You decided to mostly keep to yourself that day after Alastor got you settled in, besides you didn't know when Charlie would give you the phone to help with communication and you didn't really want to play charades to make conversation with anyone.

Despite you wanting to stay away from the others your stomach betrayed you, you had to get something to eat and drink or else you'd go mad. You slowly made your way out of your room and towards the lobby. As you entered the lobby you immediately noticed someone who you weren't introduced to before. 'Is this that Husker guy they mentioned before?' you thought to yourself. The person, or I guess cat in front of you is black and white with speckled gray here and there, a top hat and matching bowtie. 'Not bad looking'.

As you advanced further the cat stopped looking down the bottom of his beer bottle and instead looked in your direction, finally acknowledging your existence. "Who the fuck are you?" he scowled.

You were shocked for a moment but then scowled right back at him 'Who pissed in his drink' you thought, put off by his unprompted sour attitude.

He stared at you expectedly. But when you didn't responded he spoke again, louder than before "Are you stupid?? I asked who-"

Before he could finish Charlie interrupted. "Y/N! There you are I was just about to bring you the phone!"

'Thank goodness'

Charlie quickly walked over to you and presented the new phone to you. You gave her a grateful smile as you held the phone close to you.

"Haha you're welcome!" She responded before realizing Husk was still staring at you, annoyed. "Oh Husk I'm sorry this is our new resident Y/N! She arrived earlier today while you were out on an errand" Husk nodded. "Husk Y/N, Y/N Husk!"

"Nice to meet you Y/N" Husk mumbled grumpily, a bit embarrsed by his rashness from before.

Your smile faded as you awkwardly waved to him.

"Y/N you must be starving come let me show you to the kitchen!" you were grateful to Charlie for getting you out of that situation.

----------------------------------------------

As the day passed you ventured out of your room more and more frequently but gradually. You kind of developed a routine. You'd sit in the lobby and hang out with Angel on most days, sometimes Vaggie too. You'd converse with them as best you could then later at night when most everyone went to sleep you'd visited the bar for a drink. You were a bit embarrassed having to use a phone to talk to people, so if you could get away with it you wouldn't use it. Answering questions with a simple nod, shake, or shrug seemed to do the trick a lot of the time. Often when you talked to Angel and Maggie you were comfortable enough (and they were patient enough) to allow you to use the phone to have better, meaningful conversations with them...but other people....or cats.....weren't the same.

The first time you went to the bar Husk quickly asked you "What do you want?".

'Blunt isn't he' you thought. You didn't know what was available and didn't really care to go through the efforts of asking so you just shrugged.

"Dammit you'll drink whatever I give you then" Husk turned his back to you a muttered some other choice words before presenting you with a drink. You awkwardly had a few more then went away to your room.

Things continued like this for quite sometime, a month even. Every night you'd make your routine visit to Husk at the bar, have a mostly one sided conversation with Husk-throw in some nods and shrugs consume a handful of drinks the leave.

Husk wasn't use to people not trauma dumping their problems onto him. You didn't really open up to him at all. You'd get your drink and HE would be the one having to pry a conversation from YOU. Even when he'd ask you a bunch of questions to try and get to know you better the most he'd receive is a nod confirming his question, or shrug indicating what? It was none of his business. This annoyed him GREATLY. Man was frustrated. He wanted to get to know you, everyone else seemed to love you. You bonded well with everyone,..but him. You intrigued him.

One night you and Angel were having such a fun time hanging out in the lobby together. Your laughter even filled the room, and much to Husk's annoyance, his ears. Usually Angel had to work late nights with Val so he never joined you for your late night bar trips so this was the first time he was able to join you at the bar for some drinks. "Come on bitch lets go get wasted"

Husk stiffened, mentally preparing himself to be a third wheel in this conversation.

"Get us allll the drinks Husker! I'm finally getting this hot chick wasted" Husk rolled his eyes at Angel as you blushed at Angels confidence

"Alright alright, don't kill the poor girl"

"She can handle her liquor!" Angel laughed and turned to you, but you just shrugged.

You and Angel sat right next to each other, as close as possible so Angel can quickly see your responses on your phone as you typed.

After many drinks and jokes Husk was growing more and more irritable. He didn't know what you both were talking about and it was driving him mad that neither of you bothered to include him in the conversation. 'At least speak loud enough for me to eavesdrop damn...' he thought.

"Alright toots ill be right back I gotta take a piss, don't wait up have a couple more rounds" Angel said quickly as he winked at you before leaving to the bathroom "Keep her entertained whiskers!"

"Fuck off!" Husk yelled after him before he was out of sight from you both.

Now it was your turn to tense up. You were a bit tipsy now and it was growing harder and harder to communicate via typing with your agility becoming so discombobulated. Husk sighed and leaned closer to you. "Do you even know how many drinks you can have before you black out? Cause I'm telling ya right now I'm not carrying you to bed and neither is your long legged buddy after he's done" Husker teased and you responded with a small laugh and shrug.

Not as reactive as he would've hoped but it was still something.

Husk slipped another drink to you before asking his next question, "So, I hope you don't mind me asking...' he started much more serious "but how'd you wind up here? I know almost everything about everyone here, except for you. Ms. Mystery" Husk teased slightly.

You took out your phone and started typing a response to him sloppily and slower, much slower than usual.

Husk showed a hurt expression on his face before contouring it into anger and annoyance. 'Who the fuck just blatantly ignores someone like that??' Husk thought. "Listen if you don't want to talk to me just tell me there's no need to be a bitch about it!" He said angrily.

You stopped typing and looked up at him shocked.

"Don't act innocent now you just straight up ignored me! You can leave my bar for all I care! You-" Husk was growing louder and angrier by the word but before he could continue Angel came running over to you both.

"Husk why the fuck are you yelling at Y/N?!" Angel asked Husk glaring at him.

"Tried to keep her company like you said but this bitch just pulls out her phone and ignores me! Like I don't have better things to do than have a one sided conversation with her" Husk stated as if it was obvious

"Oh my god you fucking idiot"

"What??" Husk said growing even more annoyed. Oblivious to the situation.

"SHE CAN'T TALK YOU ASSHOLE"

"Huh?" His voice was significantly quieter now, almost not audible, "the fuck you mean she can't talk?"

"She's been here for almost a month and you didn't know she couldn't talk??? Are you stupid or just dumb??"

Husk didn't know what to say. He looked over to you and his heart broke. You were looking down trying not to cry in from of them. Angel followed his gaze to also notice the fight against your tears. "Look what you did you asshole" Angel glared at Husk before holding your shoulders, leading you away from the bar and towards his room "Come on Y/N lets go play with Fat Nuggets he missed you the other day"

'I fucked up.....' Husk thought to himself.

-------------------------------------------

Husk couldn't sleep at all that night. He felt so incredibly guilty for yelling at you like that, and even more for not knowing that you couldn't talk. How did he not notice it before?? No one is that shy. Why didn't anyone tell him? That's kind of an important detail to mention when you introduce someone. Then he remembered Charlie didn't mention it when she introduced them. 'Where's Charlie?!'

"Charlie!!" Husk said, almost yelling as he knocked aggressively on her door.

"Husk?" Vaggie said with a raspy morning voice "it's like 5 in the morning why are you knocking on our door like there's fire!" She was obviously irritated by being woken up.

"I need to talk to Charlie" Vaggie gave him a questioning look "Please, it's important" Husk practically begging? Vaggie woke up Charlie to talk to him.

"What's wrong Husk? Did something happen?" Charlie asked before yawning.

"Um, well. Not exactly. But I need to know something" Charlie looks at Husk confused as he stumbles on his words "Y/N can't talk?"

"HE DIDN'T KNOW Y/N CANT TALK?!" Vaggie practically yelled

Husk groaned as Charlie hushed her girlfriend.

"Ya I know im a fucking moron hahaha." He deadpanned, "Why can't Y/N talk????"

"Husk....Y/N had her tongue ripped out by an exorcist"

Husks face dropped even more than it already had, he felt like he was gonna throw up "What?"

"You really didn't know?? That's why I gave her the phone the first day I introduced you remember? She uses it to communicate"

Husk facepalmed and dragged his paw down his face "I'm so stupid." He hit his head "Stupid stupid UGHHHH"

"Why?? WHAT happened Husk?" Charlie insisted.

"I may or may not have yelled at Y/N because she was on her phone instead of talking to me?" Charlie's mouth was open from shock "I thought she was ignoring me...I don't know. I messed up"

"Royaly" Vaggie said.

How was he going to fix this?

----------------------------------

Over the next few days your normal routine changed. You ignored Husk as much as you could. He hated himself more and more everyday for the misunderstanding and wanted to apologize as soon as he saw you, make it up to you. But he never saw you.

Husk was at the bar late in the evening as Angel got back to the hotel from work and tried to pass him to get to the hallway. "Angel wait please"

"Wow never thought I'd hear you say please. What do you want Husk?" Angel said annoyed, just now noticing the bags he carried.

He could't help his curiosity "What's all that?" Husk questioned motioning to the bags

"Uhh its drinks for Y/N actually...since you know"

Husk felt sick again. Angel turned away to continue to the hallway "Wait let me bring those to her"

Angel turned to husk confused "Why the hell would I let you do that?"

"Please" Husk begged "I want to apologize to her but she's been avoiding me, let me do this, she'll answer the door and I'll make it better." Angel was hesitant and skeptic "Please, I'll owe you one'

Angels eyebrow raised "Tempting....fine here, don't tell her I approved this"

"Thank you" His quickly took the bag of drinks from Angel and went to your door.

'Okay Husk don't fuck this up'

*knock knock knock*

Husk could hear rustling behind the door. Then a few moments later the door cracked open and Y/N peaked her head out to check who it was. Upon seeing Husk there, in his tired form, Y/N's mouth made an O shape. "Y/N" he breathed "Can I come in please. I brought a peace offering" he referred to the booze.

Y/N opened the door wider for him, allowing him in her room.

He was instantly hit with the aroma of her scent. It made his fur stand up a bit straighter.

After she closed the door and took the offering away from him she looked at him expectedly.

"Listen uh. I wanted to apologize for yelling at you. I really am an idiot I genuinely, GENUINELY didn't know about your...situation." You broke eye contact with him for a moment but then you locked eyes with him again before he continued "Im an asshole. You didn't deserve that I just-just didn't know why you didn't talk to me like you did the others....You seemed to bond so well with everyone else but you never opened up to me. I just, I don't know"

This time you held up your finger, indicating for him to wait a moment. You took out your phone and typed 'So what you're saying is you were a jerk because you want to get to know me better?'

He laughed and shyly responded "Yeah basically"

'Lets. sit down and crack open these drinks. Seems like we have a lot of catching up to do' you typed to him and he blushed. Thank hell you were so understanding.

#husk x reader #husker hazbin hotel #husker x reader #husk/reader #hazbin hotel #husk one shot

[ex-textura]

Hi hello! Any fun facts you would like to share about your characters? (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Eli~!

[i'm sorry this has taken me so long i've been picking away at this since you sent it 😶 apologies for the verbosity, but you got me started and i couldn't stop lmao]

I have SO MANY facts I want to share about my characters 👀 are they fun? ehhhhh. They sure are facts.

The big scar on Auric's face is from his sister's ex. He was jealous and abusive and the one time he flew into a rage in Auric's presence, he stepped in and took the hits so she could run. He almost died then. When he woke up his head was in her lap, he was surrounded by blood, and the abusive ex was dead.

He and Gale settled down after the events of the game, got married, and opened a tavern outside of Waterdeep with his sister and her love, Halsin. They have a teleportation circle in the basement connected to Gale's tower and they basically treat it like a guest house. They've also set up a place for Astarion in the basement so he can stay there whenever he's handy. He still doesn't really like Astarion, but his sister pleaded and he couldn't say no.

Ciaran collected every poetry book, love letter, and diary he could find once he started to get feelings for Gale. He also bothered everyone in the party constantly(Gale included) about what love is, how do you know that's what you're feeling, what do you do about it? He had no frame of reference for love so the whole thing was completely foreign to him. He was like an alien trying to learn human customs. He thought he was being sneaky.

Now that he's no longer trying to die all the time, he's taken up painting and gotten pretty damn good at it, too.

Jinx is 43 years old. Technically.

His skin used to be more red, but a wild magic surge turned him blue and the colour never totally faded.

He's demisexual

Fully incapable of picking up when he's being flirted with. He doesn't think he's handsome, or ugly. He's just Jinx.

He'll try literally anything once, so he let Astarion bite him, and then let him drain him because he'd never been bitten by a vampire before, and never died before. He turned him down for sex though because "I've already had gay sex before :) thanks though!" Astarion is still reeling from that one.

Amaris is one half of a splintered soul. They grew up with their other half as their best friend and had no idea.

The illithid abduction went funky and rather than just scooping them up into the nautiloid, it shunted them into an entirely different, mirrored reality. It wasn't until before the push on moonrise that they learned the truth.

Their best friend and other half had a massive crush on the infamous Gale of Waterdeep that they used to give her hell about all the time. Until they met him, and fell for him too.

Luckily, due to alternate universe fuckery, they each got a Gale and everyone is happy.

Naught is something of an urban legend to people who travel the roads outside Baldur's Gate. He hunted highwaymen with the help of his birds Quothe and Madge. Known only as The Raven on account of the only warning of their presence being a ruffle of feathers and the cry of ravens before the arrows would start flying.

He took payment for his heroism in money, food, or sex. Whatever was on offer.

Before they hit Baldur's Gate and rented out the Elfsong they hadn't slept in a bed in over 10 years.

Their boyfriend was teaching him to read before the fire that killed him and sent Naught on the run. As such, the lad still can't fucking read.

Apparently their type is nerds who are older than him.

Jack married his ex-wife when he was 18.

Has two kids - a son and a daughter - and a grandchild on the way.

His job in the city was general labour. Lifting, fixing, building, cleaning. Anything that paid.

His ex-wife, and therefore his kids, are dwarves. He's 6'5. There's a bit of a height difference there.

He plays the drums.

Ilztaufein is a name he gave himself after escaping the fall of Ched Nasad.

He'd only been training as a wizard for about 10 years when he left. Still though, he thinks he's hot shit and won't hear otherwise.

The only wizard he thinks is better than himself is Gale. Elminster is a nobody in his eyes.

He's 5'4!

For all his big talk he's kind of terrified of women and will automatically obey any order given to him by any of the women in the party. Except for Shadowheart..who he killed......And Mystra... who he's got plans for.

He's been researching the gods after hearing Mystra's order for Gale's sacrifice. He wants to usurp her.

Most of his work on the surface has been in and around Waterdeep, and he's been to Blackstaff Academy a number of times in that time, in disguise, trading information.

He doesn't understand how humans age.

He's never seen a cat in person until they entered Last Light. He's obsessed with them (they're regal, vicious, fancy little bitches. Just like him). The first time he sees one with fur he's going to lose his damn mind.

He's never been with a human before. It's only been drow and the occasional surface elf. Gale's body hair is magical to him and he's not at all subtle about it.

He's 6'2.

Muse more or less adopted Flair - his partner in crime - when they were still teenagers. He saw this homeless kid trying to flirt with him after one of his shows and, like one might with a pet, decided this one was his and took her in. He taught her everything he knew about flirting, manipulation, and getting away with it.

Astarion clocked them both as thieves right away when they met Gale and immediately started trying to use thieves cant to communicate to each other that he was the perfect mark, and whose turn it was to do the flirting.

They caught on that Astarion was on to them later, so Muse was tasked with distracting him, lest Astarion rat them out or, worse, take their mark out from under their noses.

Absolutely devastated when Astarion started using the same tactics on him that he'd used on his targets and that shit actually worked.

He's really bad at the whole...feeling your real genuine emotions...thing. He's been writing songs about Astarion trying to sort out his feelings, rather than..yknow. talking to anyone. at all. ever.

He got really mad at Flair when she started giving Gale expensive items so he wouldn't explode. He voted to send the wizard to the underdark cause he wasn't worth the trouble.

He smells like patchouli and vanilla.

#i'm sorry i got so wordy? #especially at the end? #these aren't fun facts anymore i'm just infodumping #asks #my ocs #oc: auric #ciaran finch #oc: amaris #oc: jinx #oc: naught #oc: jack torada #oc: ilztaufein #oc: muse #oh god i have so many #thank you for the ask I had so much fun rambling!!

[shkika]

I'm literally buzzing with excitement for the Wind comic thing :> I've been coming up with my own theories of what it could hold, and even making a video based on those theories! Tho, it'll take some time to finish XD It's like...A big project. Love your works!

This ask made me so happy I blacked out and this appeared on my screen.

I have the comic planned and sketched out with placeholder dialogue between the rodent sisters I just need to finalize it when I can!

#rain world #unparalleled innocence #grey wind #chasing wind #rw iterators #my art #ask #doodles #anonymous #theories and a VIDEO?? thats insane i cant wait to see if it gets finished!!! wowie #im so aaah honored?? #thank you for enjoying my work ive been having so much fun making them all! #the wind comic will be with her and innie! #its important buildup to their saint-ing #which too will happen eventually #just #in a while haha #aah i had some wind asks i need to dig up and answer eventually aaaughh #ill save them and see when that happens #hehe hoho excuse my deranged rambling #hope u enjoy the scribbles anon

[betterthanbatman1]

For the DC ask game!

38. Who do you think is the most overlooked or underused character?

Thank you for the ask, Quo!

Hmm the first character that comes to mind is Duke Thomas (tbh I’m starting to see more of him lately which I really like eg in the Outsiders and reoccurring/being mentioned in the batfamily based comics), but yeah I think he’s often overlooked.

I realise I’ve answered your question above already haha, however I’m just going to give you some reasons I love Duke and why we should see more of him because more people should know about him:

Firstly, his powers! His ability to manipulate light and shadows and see the past/future and other dimensions as a result, is amazing and gives opportunity to so many interesting scenarios and possibilities. He has Night vision, Super vision, x-ray vision, etc. He can manipulate light in pretty much any way possible eg creating beams &bending them, controlling the colour/brightness. He can even turn invisible which is incredible.

He’s also a genius!! I seriously don’t get why no one talks about this kid and his detective skills. “Tim discovered Batman’s identity *gasp*” …yeah he did…but he wasn’t the only one! This boy single handedly figured out Batman’s identity, Dick’s when he was Agent 37, Damian’s AND Alfred’s identity during the we are Robin movement

Ah yes, this leads to the We are Robin movement he led (a group of them at least). And let’s never forget that time he jumped out the back of a moving police car to continue going against the system and continue pursuing the we are Robin movement.

Back to his smarts-This little boy trained to out riddle the riddler. What child does that?? The kids a genius and his confidence is amazing. He’s super talented and loves quizzes and puzzles.

He found his jokerised parents by himself. (This is actually heartbreaking because his parents were good people. They were a loving family and his parents got screwed over by the fucking joker). After the police pretty much said we don’t give a fuck about finding your parents, Duke himself searched for his parents, knowing they were alive. There was a possibility that they were jokerized but that never stopped him. He literally scoured the sewers to find them, only to see them laughing hysterically and not recognizing their own son. Their little boy was nothing but an object standing in front of their laughter ridden bodies.

Okay *wipes tears* moving on: He is immortal/might be immortal! (idk for sure) but it’s so cool either way!. Although, the way dc brings back the dead, every character is immortal.

#That’s all I have for now 🫡 #Thank you Quo seriously had so much fun writing this!! #Duke being the only meta in the family is such a power move #Love that for him! #I need more Duke and Jason interactions theyd be best budsTM #I have so many mental fics with Duke in them #*​Sigh* I might just have to write them some day #I read The Signal i while ago so I don’t remember that clearly #I also need to re read the We are Robin comics #If anyone has more information or wants to correct some info I made a mistake on them feel free to #*then feel free to #Asks #dc #character analysis #batfam #the signal #batfamily #Duke Thomas #I’m very tired to I’ll just leave it at that #red rambles #Duke week 2023

[todayisafridaynight]

OH OH OH OH OH FULL NAME FULL NAME AKANE KISHIDA

I figured she was the one to get in touch first based on Jo knowing she wanted to see her son, but I have SO many questions about that... how does she know her son survived... how does she know Ichiban was her son and not Aoki... how does she know who Jo is and how to contact Jo... (<- tearing my hair out as we speak)

Anyway when you have the opportunity please view the gameplay footage...

obsessed how its addressed to Mr. Jo Sawashiro i dont know why that detail tickles me... thats cute..

chicken-and-egg kinda deal with Who Contacted Who first. like id ASSUME sawashiro'd get in contact with her first if he was feeling guilty enough about The Whole Situation and was willing to dig into arakawa's past imo, esp since akane wouldn't have any reason (or ability to) know who he was until after he joins the yakuza.. and i mean.. shes long gone by then.. tho that's assuming they got in contact early on and they didnt JUST start communicating within the past few years.

BUT EITHER WAY just gotta wait and see for it all to play out.. in three months <- still cant believe its coming out january 26th 👁️💋👁️

IM OBSESSED WITH THE GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE im soooo glad i was right in how they were going to handle the style change aspect (though i guess it wasnt a hard thing to predict but still..). I LOVE HOW KIRYU CAN ACTUALLY ROAM FREE THAT'S SO COOL i remember people kept speculating on how the gameplay was gonna go with how different ichi and kiryu's playstyles are and this is SUUCH a rad way to answer that question. my excitement is immeasurable and im gonna throw up

#snap chats #lest i neglect chitose's fighting style looks SICK. the neck stomp did remind me of juri han sorry im sick in the head EITHER WAY #the ballet skills... explains why she seems so skinny tbh. like maybe im delusional but i feel like her model is Extra slim yk #i hope im right... oh but speaking of diversity i love how they got people speaking english #Typical Westerner Answer Is Typical IM JUST SAYING its a nice immersion aspect. also im nosy let me eavesdrop #-5 points on the immersion aspect for the fact katy didnt immediately apologize after ichi bumps into her #any american would start profusely apologizing excuse you. BUT SPEAKING OF MOVEMENT #maybe its too early to make this assessment but i like how more concise ichi's walking is #back in Y7 one issue i had was just how.. not 'slippery' he was but it certainly felt like his shoes didnt have any traction #but now he seems to walk more precisely. hope im right.... #crazy eats looks so fun... they have no idea who theyre playin with when my dumbass has all these tony hawk and jet set radio hours #im rambling on too much i still have to answer your other ask LMAO thank you for writin in an sendin the gameplay demo :]

[whyoneartheven]

When you get this ask could you perhaps maybe bless us with 5 of ur fav songs (currently or of all time), and then send this ask to 5 of your moots who you think have good taste! <33

ahhh of course!! And thank you for the ask my friend <333

“Morning Has Broken” by Cat Stevens. I’ve listened to this song since I was little and it just brings me a lot of joy :)

”The Garden” by The Crane Wives! I especially love the vocals in this song. (look at me trying to sound all fancy XD)

“Waltzing Matilda” by Dan Zanes. Another nostalgic song for me, but it’s also really pretty lol

“He Lays In The Reins” by Calexico! I just really love this one.

“Secrets - Cellar Door” by Radical Face. Actually all of the songs by this artist are my favorite…

Ok this probably sums up my music taste pretty well tbh!

A bunch more music I’m throwing in here bc i love music too much is under the cut but pls don’t worry abt it unless you want to XD

Honorable mentions (I couldn’t decide): “Saturn” by Sleeping at Last, “Inkpot Gods” by The Amazing Devil, “Bees” by the Ballroom Thieves!

And some instrumental songs bc they’re kinda a completely different thing to me lol: “Sogno Di Volare” by Christopher Tin, “Hope” by James Newton Howard, “The Island”by David Garcia Díaz, “Eno Cordova’s Theme” by Gordy Haab, “Village of Rynoka” by David Fenn, “Clock Town” by Time De Man!!

ok I’m done now XD

#I get an ask abt music and spend ages scrolling through my playlist of like 300 songs half of which are like top tier to me XDDD #I may… #Be a little too in love with my music sometimes #But hey! #its beautiful stuff #Thanks for the ask again! #I had too much fun with this one #Also it just hit me I do not know what you’d like to be called :( #I just think about you as bluevaractyl accompanied by fondness and the subconscious “that’s my cool friend” feeling lol #If I already asked you this I am so sorry #Ask game #evie rambles #music #the fabulous bluevaractyl

[golden--doodler]

Tumblr is being dumb and not wanting to work with me today (and is also dumb for not letting me put in more than one video clip), but @babsvibes asked me what some of my favorite Bob's Burgers quotes are, so here is my response in its entirety (you better buckle up, because it's long):

Babs!! I appreciate you so much, thank you for giving me another ask❣️

You already know who most of these quotes will be from because you asked me 🤣 This ask is too good, I’m super excited to get into this.

Okay, I don’t have these in any particular order (this was originally meant to be a top five but got expanded to eight (plus a ton of honorable mentions) because there are just too many good quotes), but some of my absolute favorites are:

—(From the movie): “I know you’re droopy Bob right now, but you know who else is in there? Dreamy Bob. The guy who wanted to open a restaurant in the first place, slap his name on it, make cuckoo, crazy burgers with wild ingredients. A new one every day.” —Linda 🥹

Bonus: “You know what you gotta do to droopy Bob? You gotta hit him in the nuts, like this! >:D”--Linda, AKA the best wife in the world

This scene always has me extremely unwell. It’s like the writers took a look at me and my blog and were just like How can we activate Doodler’s emotional tears to the maximum degree? It honestly has everything I could’ve asked for. Linda being the best, most supportive wife in the universe? Yup. Bob being his usual sad, dramatic self? Yes.

A BOBLIN FLASHBACK WITH LINDA PREGNANT WITH TINA AND BOB LOOKING SO EXCITED AND PASSIONATE ABOUT THE RESTAURANT?? 🥺🥺🥺 Check.

—(Also from the movie): “Can I say, ‘Honey, No’!” —Gene

“No 🙄” —Louise

This line is hilarious and caught me so off-guard when I first heard it. It’s one of the best Gene lines, which is quite the feat given that he has so many good lines. I can’t believe some people can’t see his beautiful Genderfluidity after hearing this line and Eugene Mirman’s delivery. Genuinely, though, I absolutely love how comfortable Gene usually is when it comes to being himself. There are moments where his self-doubt and insecurity creep in, and I could make a whole post about that, but whenever he’s around his family, he’s usually so comfortable with saying what he wants.

—(I forgot which episode this was from and couldn't figure out which one it was, if someone can tell me, that would be much appreciated 😭): “Teddy, I know that’s your burger. Stop being weird and just eat the burger.” —Mr. Bob Burger himself

Bonus: “Is this what you want you sick bastard?????” —Teddy

This exchange is so freaking funny, such a classic. Bob and Teddy’s yelling matches never fail to make me burst out laughing. And just the fact that this all happened because Bob gets so upset when people eat other burgers and like them, so everyone has to pretend to not like other burgers?? Hilarious. He’s such a sensitive man, I love him so much.

—(From “The Runaway Club”): “I’m a little disappointed too. Before I saw it on you, I thought this bracelet was classy.” —Tina

Bonus: “Take. It. Off.” —Tammy

“I. Would. Rather. Die.” —Tina

“THEN YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!” —Tammy

Tina’s line here is so good. I love how she can come up with really good one-liners to get back at Tammy when she wants to. And Tammy getting so jealous and angry?? Hilarious. And then Jocelyn panicking and pulling the fire alarm?? And then Jimmy Jr. being an absolute dumbass and just spraying a fire extinguisher everywhere? 11/10 scene.

Plus, you gotta love how protective Gene and Louise get over Tina here: “Get your hands off my sister 😡”

—(Deleted line from “Father of the Bob”): “He lets me eat as much Tylenol as I want! 😄”

Yes, I’m including a link to the animation I did for this scene yesterday, don’t judge me.

Anyway, this line is actual comedy gold. I can’t believe they cut it. Yes, they don’t want kids to be irresponsible with Tylenol. But it’s so funny!! Gene, sweetie, please don’t overdose on medicine.

It’s also really sweet how much the kids love their Pop Pop. It’s just really nice that they have a grandparent they love because Gloria and Al are the worst.

—(From “Tina-Ranasaurus Wrecks”): “TINA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EITHER TURN AWAY OR STOP—THE BRAKES, TINA, YOU’RE ABOUT TO—HIT THE BRAKES” —Bob

Bonus: “God, you’re so honest. Who raised you?” —Bob

“I don’t know 😫” —Tina

This scene absolutely sends me Every. Single. Time. It’s so good. Just Tina’s constant groaning and Bob’s panic which only grows as they get closer to the only other car in the parking lot?? I can’t. His yelling at the end never fails to send me into a fit of laughter. There's just something about the way H. Jon Benjamin delivered it.

And the fact that the car Tina hit was Jimmy Pesto’s? That makes this scene even funnier.

—(From “Can’t Buy Me Math”): “Did someone order takeout or should I say take off?? 😏” —Bob

Bonus: “No one wants to see that! 😡” —Random patron at Jimmy Pesto’s

“Hey! I do! 🤬” —Linda

This is one of my all-time favorite Boblin moments, tied only with the flashback scene from the movie, and probably their moment in “Bob, Actually”. 

Aside from how hilarious it is (I mean, “Takeout or should I say take off” lives rent-free in my head), it goes to show just how much these two love and adore each other. Bob was willing to be naked in full view of customers at Jimmy Pesto’s and he still did the strip tease because he loves Linda that much.

They definitely had a fun night together 😏

(From “The Plight Before Christmas”): “So jolly. I didn’t expect to feel this way. I was focusing on Santa, but the best presents are sitting here. And they aren’t even wrapped up.” —Louise 🥹

This scene makes me sob every single time. I think the part that gets me the most is the moment where Louise looks into the audience and sees Tina came to see her give the poem. Tina in this moment reminds me so much of my older sister it makes me way too emotional I might actually get sick. Without words, it showed their sisterly bond in such a beautiful way. And then Louise’s actual poem??????? I can’t handle it. The way she eloquently describes in poem form how much she cares about her family can’t be done justice in words.

God, I need a minute to recover from this.

And that’s my top eight! Here are some honorable mentions because there are just too many good quotes from this gem of a show:

—(From “The Gene Mile”): “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, CHANGE MY PHONE EVERY TEN YEARS??” —Teddy

“Y E S” —Bob

—(From “Dream a Little Bob of Bob”): “I DID IT. HELL YEAHHHHHHHH” —Tina

—(From “Boyz 4 Now”): “I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.” —Tina

—(From “Two For Tina”): “When you say no, it makes me want you more!!!!!! 😫” —Jimmy Jr.

—(From “Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien”): “It’s not a good feeling when they say everyone, but they don’t mean you.” —Gene

—(From “Torpedo”): “But I call you dad! I think of it as Dad’s Burgers!” —Gene

—(From “Best Burger”) “Dad!! I’m sorry I screwed up today. I’m sorry I screw up all the time! 😣” —Gene

Bonus: “Gene, you might make mistakes from time to time, but I love you and I love who you are.” —Bob 🥺

—(From “Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid”): “You were the only one interested in my innovative new menu. I was like you when I was a kid, you know. That’s how I got interested in cooking. And as soon as you pass that sip test, I’ll eat dinner with you.” —Bob

Bonus: “🎶 I could still be a winner, when I eat Dad’s Thanksgiving dinner! 🎶” —Gene

“That was beautiful, Gene 🥲” —Bob

“Thank you, Father~” —Gene

—(From “Mazel-Tina”): “Wow, Dad. I never realized how soulful your eyes are.” —Gene

“*Sighs* Gene. Wait, really?” —Bob

—(From “The Hauntening”): “Dad. I think you’re doing a really good job as a Dad.” —Gene

“Okay.” —Bob

“I’m having a really good childhood.” —Gene

“Okay, great.” —Bob

“Not right now, but overall.” —Gene

“I got it, thanks.” —Bob

“No, thank you. Thank you for your service.” —Gene

(From “Lil’ Hard Dad”): “You’re still my hero, Dad 😌” —Gene

“You’re mine too, Gene.” —Bob

(From “Broadcast Wagstaff School News”): “*Gasps* Travel-Sized Bob, awwwwww!!” —Linda

Bonus: “Muppet baby Bobby!!! :D” —Linda

(From “Lindapendent Woman”): “I’d rather be scraping by together than have extra money and be apart.” —Bob, AKA the best husband ever

(From “Mother Daughter Laser Razor”): “Wait. Mom. You don’t think I like you?” —Louise

Bonus (just for you, Babs!): “They just needed to see things from each other’s perspective 🥹” —Logan Barry Bush

(From “A-Sprout A Boy”): “I’ll never make you eat vegetables for breakfast, sweetie.” —Linda

“I love you, Mom (:” —Louise

(From “The Pickleorette”): “Oh my God, of course I’d hold your hand. I don’t want you to be scared. You’re my big, strong boy.”

(From "Sliding Bobs"): “Hey! You’ve got a lot of nerve picking on girl’s diamond rings with your thick, luxurious, Tom Selleckian mustache….. Hi.” —Linda

“Hi. My eyes are up here. Should we get some scissors?” —Bob

“What’s the rush? 😏” —Linda

(From “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?”): “Thank you, Gene. You’re a great large brother.” —Louise

“Anytime, shrimp.” -Gene, AKA the best big brother ever

(From “A Few ‘Gurt Men”): “I’m good at law!” —Gene, AKA the best lawyer ever

(From “Carpe Museum”): “So, when you take over the restaurant, will you call it Louise’s Burgers?” —Bob

“I don’t know. Maybe. Daddy.” —Louise

(From “Hawk and Chick”): “This Hawk and Chick will never not talk for thirty years!” —Bob

(I forgot which episode this is from but if someone can tell me, that would be much appreciated!): "I've got a license to counsel." --Mr. Frond

"Double O-So-Sad." --Louise

"Louise. Be nice." --Bob

"Why? It's Mr. Frond!" --Louise

(From "The Frond Files"): "I LOCKED MYSELF IN A RUH-OOOM WHILE CHILDREN WERE EATEN!!!!!!!!!!!!" --Mr. Frond

I need to cut myself off now but there are even more quotes I could’ve added 😭

#bobs burgers #asks #okay maybe i should’ve expanded the list because now i’m kicking myself for not adding a couple of the honorable mentions into the main lis #just pretend bob and linda’s first meeting “anytime shrimp” and louise calling bob “daddy” are all on the main list #here i go again making my answers for an ask WAY too long but you know what? i don’t care because i had so much fun with this #thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble babs❣️

[happi-tree]

👀 your pfp is from your fae amphibia au right? i would love to know more about it <3333

Actually, my pfp is from a different Amphibia au that I haven't talked about at all on here! I've tentatively called it "the raven and the dove" and it's roughly based on the movie (the MOVIE, not the books) The School for Good and Evil and my friend @toonteller came up with a lot of it (hi, toon, hope you don't mind the tag!). If you're at all familiar with the characters from that, Anne takes Agatha's role while Marcy takes Sophie's and Sasha takes Tedros'. You don't have to be familiar with the characters at all for the au to make sense, though!

Basically, Anne and Marcy are two girls growing up in a rural village. They've been friends since they were very small, sticking close together and facing the mean-spirited remarks of their peers together. Marcy happens to stumble across a book one day that tells her of a magical place that trains the heroes and villains of fairytale stories and becomes very determined to find it, while Anne rushes along after her because she doesn't want to lose her only friend and sincerely doubts that any good could come of this. The two of them end up getting whisked away to The School For Good and Evil, where they are promptly deposited into their respective schools - Anne into the School For Good, which trains heroes, and Marcy into the School For Evil, which trains villains. And obviously this is a huge mistake, because not only does Anne want to get back to her parents, but also Marcy cannot possibly be evil! There isn't a vindictive bone in her body! The headmaster, Andrias, tells the girls that the only way to prove Marcy's innate Goodness is a true love's kiss (because villains don't get one of those in the stories, right?). They end up causing quite a stir among the students, as they are both generally disruptive and the first to enroll from outside the fairytale realm in a long time, and the shenanigans draws the attention and disapproval of one Sasha of Camelot, heir to the throne of the Storied and the School For Good's golden child. And. Well.

Quite a lot of chaos ensues in an attempt to get Marcy into the "proper" school and get Anne home, including but not limited to a Marcy corruption arc (and one for Anne, to a different extent), some identity/morality/sexuality crises on the part of Sasha, magic and shapeshifting, a slow dance (with evil overtones), gay archery lessons, ruminations on the societal expectations of beauty, attraction, gender roles, and morality, women covered in blood, true love's kiss(es), and LOTS of impractical fantasy costume changes. It's quite a bit of fun (and Sashannarcy endgame, obviously), even if I haven't thought about it in awhile! :DDD

#thank you SO much for this ask lemon drop bc it made me scroll back through a bunch of stuff i had written for it #and it made me remember how much i like it!!! #yeah idk if this will EVER see the light of day but it is such a fun au to me! #marcy gets to be a little evil as a treat (the core's doing mostly) while i continue to nerf sasha with one crisis after the next #she may LOOK effortlessly cool and flawless and be really good with a sword but in reality. she is a repressed bisexual and a loser <333 #anyway. tratd au my beloved!!! thank u for allowing me to rant lem 💛💛💛 #ask game #cartoons #amphibia #happi rambles #sorry this took like 20 years to answer i was just having a BLAST looking through my stuff for it sjdfhvakhsvfs

[surreal-duck]

hi!! i just wanted to say that ive liked midoyuzu since i was like 14 and its been a few years since then (obviously) but seeing your midoyuzu art now is so!!! its so fulfilling to my past self who had like NO art to go off of, i guess? anyway! your art is super good and i love it so much <3

im glad omg? extremely late to the party but by god i am bringing snacks in here or die trying o7 was pretty baffled the first time finding out more abt their dynamic and looking them up on here to find maybe like two more recent posts and the rest from no sooner than 2017 or so askjdghsjkgdhjks but really THANK YOU!!!!!!!! happy to be of service to your inner 14yo somewhat ;v;

yknow what though the really funny thing is that i wasnt even that into them initially. just remembered that cute interaction at the end of xmas live and thought "huh these two r kinda sweet actually" and that curiosity is always a slippery slope into genuine investment and by god is tripping into it a favorite pastime of mine

#if i had to say tho honestly these two were both the last ones of their units i managed to get attached to properly #yuzuru has definitely become my fav of fine though but my actual rst fav is kanata LOL #also finding out yuzuru likes to draw in general is everything to me you go you funky master artist #cute critter line took me out back w a metal chair why r they so. auhhg #actually my good friend who got me in here Knows i was actually on track to becoming an ibyz liker but then. anvil fell comically on my hea #before i knew it theyve taken over almost every corner of my brain get them out!!!!! get them out!!!!!!!! #and i was already a ryuseitai fan and enjoyed fine casually but oh. oh god im a yuzurup too now arent i goddammit #SORRY THIS BECAME A RAMBLE UM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! #asks #anonymous #sometimes i forget that their actual interactions probably amount to no more than 6 or 7 times in canon and the rest is just in my head #that and i just think its rather nice for both of their characters to get along!! romantic or platonic #really sweet to see midori so pumped up and passionate about the things he loves and yuzuru getting thrown off his rhythm of the always #perfect butler who resigns himself into the background most of the time. theyre just having fun!!! silly guys #and yuzuru rly does enjoy art and nonsensical doodles even if people generally find it horrifying midori loves them wholeheartedly its. yea #okay im still rambling. ill shut up now i havent slept properly in a bed in nearly 48 hours i should go do that

[skz-maybe-incorrects]

2, 6,21 and 24 for the ask game 😇

hihi! 2. three last songs you listened to: ik bagal, by piyush mishra, a song ive recently been obsessed with (could only find the eng trans from a vid thats also a cover here), koi by gen hoshino(!!) and cobalt by mob choir

6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible): im v bad at remembering stuff i like in the first place afsh apologies for the cop out but im pretty sure ive either never disliked a song sm to wish its inexistence, and if i did, certainly dont remember it anymore

21. three songs of your childhood: a little difficult a little fun! ill say aashiyan from barfi, half bcs this album and all its songs r still my favorite years later (movie too!!) and half bcs i have way too nice memories of performing this song as a kid at an event at dad's work and getting complimented a lot (it was aided tho, im sure, by my front teeth missing). second would be ae mere zohra jabeen, a veeery old classic bollywood song, and v much beloved to me both when i was tiny and straining to catch my ma's radio during hw and now when i can add it to all my playlists. third!! raabta by shreya ghoshal, a song that annoys me a lot now simply bcs ive heard it >2000 times bcs it was such a (deserved) rage when it came out for a few yrs

24. three favourite old songs: tere naam! by alka yagnik (listened to a newish cover, fell in love, found its original version, fell sm in love!!) id again mention ae mere zohra jabeen by manna dey bcs i never get over how sweet and cute of an old song it is. third, kaheen dur jab din dhal jaye, movie anand bcs heyy its lyrics, i really love whats it abt!!

im not surprised its just wholly old bollywood bcs thats what majority of kids in india grow up on, either by their parents love for it, or being a kid in the era itself. plus! i could never rec old bollywood enough, its either so catchy that u cheer the love its talking abt, or so poetic that u..cheer the love its talking abt, half of the time managing to be both. not to mention the iconic voices with legions of songs to their names. thank u for asking, i had sm fun!!!

#...i think you may have pressed on a hyperfixation↓ apologies #linked ik bagal's eng translations bcs god i love when songwriters r poets #im always thinking abt fan-translating these songs i love but now i might just end up doing it. i wish rest of the songs had eng trans too #everyone who loves old bollywood loves it bcs of how deep of a sway it has through language! like songs r fun bcs of production voices etc #and evergreen has them! but its foremostly how well of language usage there is in songs. the era would literally be always known as golden #its v much like urdu gazhals and qawalli. good old hindi songs were literally just songs made out of poetry and thats always so cool for #any and every language. i love when songs r love letters to their languages!!! ANYWAYS thank u for listening #i rambled sm for an ask game forgive!!!! #✉️:

[corrieguards]

Would you rather have your first kiss with Cody or Rex? Also I hope you have a great day ❤️☺️

Oh damnn this is a toughie. It's like asking me to pick between puppies and kittens. They're both so great in their own way-😭

Ok ok, let's give it a go

ramble under the cut

Now I would usually go for Rex, no questions asked I mean c'mon, he's Rex- However, if we're talking in the context of a first kiss...

I'm gonna have to go with Cody :0 betrayal

I know i know, I'm sorry, but I can explain! As a shy and insecure person by nature, I tend to stand back and let the more experienced people take the lead, y'know show me how things are done first, before I feel confident enough to do it myself. And I think Cody would be the best choice for that.

Rex would too, don't get me wrong. But he would probably be more prone to letting my nervousness rub off on him. It might make him feel like he isn't doing good enough, or that I wasn't enjoying it as much as him which wouldn't be true but anyway And, in that case, he could even need some reassurance of his own.

Cody, however. Cody is good and he knows it. He would have no problem taking charge, in fact I think he would thoroughly enjoy it maybe a little too much So it would be a win win for both of us. Also, Cody doesn't hold back, he'll go all in. He'd be the kind of guy to grab your ass while you guys are kissing, even if it is the first time, he doesn't give a fuck.

He's all or nothing and I like that.

#thank you so much for the question!! #I love questions that make me stop and think #and this was one of those <33 #sorry for the ramble tho #i might take this questions a little too seriously #so sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting #i feel like sometimes you guys aren't asking me to pour out my heart and sould to you #but I do it anyway lmao #anyway i'm rambling again #thank you so much!! #it was a great question and I had so much fun answering it <3 #love you babes!!💙💙

[llumimoon]

👀 (any dndads au you feel like sharing, lovebird! hope you're having a wonderful day btw 💜💜💜)

Hehehehe HIII HAPPI <3 I am having a wonderful day tysm!! :D I hope you are too <3

I'm trying to think abt if I have any aus that you don't already know about BWCEUAHAHAAH and im not sure how much you know abt the most recent one I've made

OOOH I have got this one fantasy AU I haven't touched in a while but I think would be really fun to revisit sometime! <3

The idea is that there's this ancient curse that's been unleashed on the land creating this magic rot that's slowly been devouring forests, towns, and eventually maybe even whole kingdoms! The rot can overtake animals and people, warping them into dangerous mirrors of their past self, this AU's take on doodlerization. the sauce if you will <3

Taylor is a member of the royal court of the Kingdom of Hell (son of the first prince Nick) and Link is his loyal guard and bestie who keeps him from dying in their shenanigans and escapades. They have a silly goofy, I've known you my whole life and I will die to protect you bc you're the person dearest to me also ur a dumbass who's stupid as fuck, energy going on <3 friends to dumbasses to lovers <3

Normal is a regular villager who recently happened to score an apprenticeship with the castle healer! Apparently his dad knew someone in the court and managed to pull some strings, wonder what that's all about. (spoiler alert: its pretty important and he's also secretly royalty but doesn't know it)

Scary is an amateur witch <3 She saw her mom start dating the castle wizard and was like FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS STUFFY BOOKS. BET I COULD DO THAT BUT BETTER AND COOLER AND LESS NERDY. So she's been sneaking off to practice magic with rudimentary materials and a few nicked things Terry left around their cottage.

Turns out Scary has a natural talent for certain parts of magic because she accidentally stumbles upon a prophecy outlining the world's possible end unless a certain group of people go to the ruins of a lost kingdom to stop the rot. And when she finds out who those people are she's like FUUUUUCK. bc now she's gotta find a way to sneak into the castle to somehow find these losers, one of which is apparently a PRINCE !! and then they've all gotta go out and not die on an adventure or else EVERYONE'S gonna die. and like she can't be bothered but also ig it would be kind of cool to shove it in her stepdad's face that she's more awesome than him and saved the world so. off she goes!

Hermie's the second prince who is often overshadowed by his older half brother. He happens to overhear the group talk about the prophecy around the time they're preparing to leave and tags along to prove his worth to his dads and also have people pay attention for him for once goddamn !!!!! also the healer boy is kinda cute <3

Cue super fun goofy and exciting magical fantasy quest !!! Secrets are revealed! Bonds are formed! Possible corruption? MAYHAPS! Also where even ARE the ruins of the kingdom of Oakvale no one seems to have heard of it at all! All while the rot continues to spread....

#ask #happi-tree #cal rambles #dndads #hehehehe thank you so much for indulging me <3333 #i know i took a little bit to respond sorry abt that <- i tried thinking abt aus to talk abt then i fell asleep and had to do hw #you know all my big ones already n lately ive mostly been scheming w/ nyx abt aus so im hesitant to call them my own without mentioning them #so my brain blanked i was like Uh. UH. HEVEGAJAHAHAJA #there are some little fun ideas i plan on elaborating on later i think!! havent told anyone abt em yet so hehe they're some fun bonuses #angel n demon au !! link's an angel taylor's a demon #i was thinking scary could be a fallen angel its just been normal i've been stuck on LMAO #bc i've been thinking abt how fun it is with how link and taylor have p clear angel demon imagery to me #while scary and normal feel more... in between? like yin yang type not all good not all bad #thought it could be fun to play with the idea of. Scary very recently fell as an angel due to Willy's influence #versus Normal who comes from a family of fallen angels ('corrupted' by the Doodler) but is trying to redeem himself and his family as well #with a storyline playing with the concept or morality and clearly defining good and bad with angels and demons #good omens style LMAO <3 Link and Taylor as an angel and demon DO remind me of Crowley and Aziraphale #Demon who's got a little too good of a heart to be evil and an Angel who's a little too much of a bastard to be purely good #ALSO been playing around with the idea of a fae au teheheehe #anyways rhat angel demon one really got away from me LMAO #its been a passing thought these past few days but i havent thought up like an actual plot line just alignments #so i havent mentioned it #WILL GET TO THE OTHER AU ASKS BTW EJWBAHAHAH #im jusy a VERY wordy rambler so it may take some time </3 #long post #HELP almost forgot that one #me n my walls of text <3

[gamma-gal-24]

Please tell us more about your relationship with Farquaad and/or your favorite things about him 🙇

OOH OOH YES!! I WOULD LOVE TO!!😭💕💕 (Also- sorry if this is incoherent, I've got flu-for-brains.😅)

▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫

Okay, so- Farquaad and Cordelia are THE match made in Hell. The only person out there with a temper worse than his is HER. Sure, she comes off as cutesy and fun, but the MINUTE you tick off the Queen of Hearts its "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD."

And he eats that up like a Christmas turkey.

He adores how she goes from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye. Lives for it. Sometimes even instigates it. Her temper is his "second favorite thing about her" after all.

And that's even despite the knowledge that she beheaded her first husband-

When they aren't brutally torturing cookies or threatening people's heads, however, these two are also the most obnoxiously affectionate couple in all the lands. Pda is a must; these two smooch in front of ALL of Duloc with no shame. They nuzzle noses and call eachother silly little names like "Lovebug" or "Sweetie pie" ALL DAY LONG. They are the Ultimate Annoying Power Couple™.

Cordelia and Farquaad are also highly competitive, but in a fun way?? Like- they turn everything into a sort of competition. "Who's cape is redder?" "Who does Thelonious like more?" "Who can throw an axe closer to somebody's head without hitting them?" EVERYTHING. But it's all in good fun to them.

At the end of the day, they both know they bagged the biggest catch in all the lands.❤

And since you asked about my favorite things...😚✨

Farquaad just has this sort of confidence to him I can't help but admire?? Like- he thinks he's THE big cheese, all that and a bag of chips, and I love that for him. He knows in his heart that he IS hot and he rocks that very well I think.

And his style?? Not even just in his clothes, but in how he DECORATES??

The lanterns?? The circular, zebra-print bed?? THE MINIBAR?? Phenomenal taste. I don't even drink but its still cool as heck. And I can't even diss the self-portraits because, as I said before, the fact that he loves himself so much is honestly so cute to me. Slide a portrait of me in there and we're all good homie.

And as for the slightly more physical stuff, his eyes are absolutely stunning. He won the eyeball lottery. I mean look at that blue-

JUS- JUS- OUGHH!!!😭💕💕💕

AND HIS VOICE?? THAT PRETTY, EVIL VOICE??? He could call me every mean name on this earth and I would thank him. Lucky for me, he's far too busy gassing me up to even think of disrespecting his queen.😚❤👑

And that's my absolute favorite thing.😉✨

#well there you have it!!!😁 #thank you so so very much for the ask I had so much fun!! #👑king of hearts👑 #selfship #selfship things #gamma rambles #mailtime!!!!! #self insert

[skitskatdacat63]

are there any other historical figures you like I'm intrigued 👀

Okay buckle in, somehow this post will be weirder than any of my f1 stuff bcs for some reason I'm very intense about historical figures, I think I just have a tendency to treat them like blorbos

Mostly I'm endeared to powerful figures, idk why, it's the way it is. Okay so obviously you already know I like Napoleon(and Wellington to an extent), that really doesn't need to be emphasized anymore

Since being in Austria, I feel super endeared to Maria Theresa. She just seemed like such a boss! I think she's just really cool. Her father changed the plan of succession so she'd become Empress(rather than her cousins), but immediately upon taking power, she was immediately embroiled in war over her being the new ruler(everyone who had signed the treaty of succession suddeny reversed) But she defended her rule of the Habsburg monarchy! I think the coolest part about her is that her husband, who married into the Habsburgs, was supposed to be in charge, but she wouldn't let him be involved at all practically and was the de facto ruler of the Holy Roman Empire for like 20 years. She had 16 children and was basically constantly pregnant and having kids while involved in war, yet still held power and guided Austro-Hungary through it all 🥹 I think it's very funny also that she was laying out so many reforms, guiding the country basically just herself, and still found time to write letters to all their kids and be an overbearing mother. Also she was Marie Antoinette's mother?? I'm still shocked by how many important kids she had. If you've been to any part of the former Austro-Hungarian(+ Bohemian) Empire, she really left her mark, there's soooo much stuff named after her. The statue of her in between the Kunsthistorisches and the Natural History Museum in Vienna is really cool, and that she has a whole Platz named after her with her giant statue!!! I think it's just really admirable that a woman at that period of time had so much power and ruled so efficiently. (MY god sorry I wrote so much)

Okay now I'll try to refrain from the historical rambles, I also like: Julius Caeser(cliche sorry I know), Dmitri Shostakovich(my favorite composer ever), Pyotr Tchaikovsky(pls read about his sugar mommy patron), Erwin Rommel(I like his nickname: The Desert Fox), J.C. Leyendecker(favorite artist, I am obsessed with his work), Alphonse Mucha, Calvin Coolidge(not the best president by far but the anecdotes about his social awkwardness and quietness are hilarious to me), Ernst Gideon von Laudon(not completely insane about him, but it's like with the Napoleon Crossing the Alps painting, I saw a painting and bust of him and now feel weirdly endeared.) And then there's probably some others I can't recall atm because it's 3 am

I think my top three though are Napoleon, Julius Caesar and Maria Theresa. They're all just very: "Catie saw a painting/statue and is now very weird about it." And then being in the vicinity of so much history made it 1000x worse. Things I saw in Vienna that made me go "oh my god it's blorbo from my history book": Napoleon Crossing The Alps painting(I seriously sat in that room for probably 20 mins just staring at it, I didn't want to leave) + some other various Napoleon artifacts in the Heeresgesichtliche, a very nice bust of Julius Caesar, and literally the entirety of Vienna had Maria Theresa everywhere

#i said before but i do think its funny to have historical blorbos bcs it makes people go 'what is wrong with you' #all my friends on that trip soon learned my napoleon obsession once we stepped in that museum.... #you guys are learning too much about my psyche between this and the OC posts #you thought I was unhinged only about F1? dont worry. it gets worse. #i just like reading and then holding info i guess so i can go on random rants #and history is the best to read about!! #mostly though im incapable of being normal about anything i have to be unhinged about it #but gahhhhhh im having actually a lot a lot of fun with all the napoleon stuff lately #thank you guys for encouraging me <3 #for some reason that era imprinted on my brain and its always there and i cant escape #so being able to use it and indulge in it is so much fun #also i found this random person's blog and they are way more knowledgeable abt Napoleon than me #i was having so much fun reading through their blog and learning!!!! #anyways yes here pls take my rambling this one is especially bad #why did you have to ask 😭 you dont know what you unleashed in me 😭😭😭 #* gotta add #the napoleon thing is sooooooo bad #like ill see a tiny ref to him and ill get all 😍 about it #like i think one time in Russian we were reading names of historical figures in cyrillic #and i saw napoleon and i like had such a 'gasping maiden' moment #WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY DID MY BRAIN DO THIS TO ME #i dont get it either so dont question it JDKFLGLG #i mentioned but someone asked me 'so why do you like napoleon so much' and im just ?????? i dont choose what i brainrot over. #catie.asks. #catie.rambling.txt #sorry its late and i feel deranged #no FPs for me! too busy and too tired