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tarotwithavi · 3 days

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How will your future partner make you feel?

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 💞🍓

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*

Pile 1

They will make you feel as if all those lonely days were worth it, all the time you spent looking for love was worth it. They'll make you feel like you never have before. You'll be more confident in their presence, feeling as if you are the only woman/man in the entire universe. They'll make you feel so special that you may start wondering if your life is a dream. I see that you might get too attached to them, or they might get too attached to you, but either way, there is a sense of obsession. Being so infatuated with each other that you can't see anybody else. They'll make you realize that the time you spent alone was all for a better reason. The time you spent working on yourself was worth it. They'll make your stagnant life more enjoyable. I see that you may feel like you live a really boring life, but they'll make your life more interesting. You'll wake up every morning thinking about what will happen today, how your day will be, and what you will do together. They'll bring stability in your life and they'll make you feel heard and understood. They'll respect your boundaries and treat you the way you want to be treated. You'll feel as if you have won a lottery.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*

Pile 2

They'll make you feel understood. You might have been misunderstood your whole life, or people seem to outcast you for no reason. But with them, you'll feel at home. They'll know everything about you and understand you without you having to say anything, almost as if they can read your mind. They'll know exactly what you want or need. They'll always be there to support you and protect you no matter what happens. You'll feel like yourself in their presence, and you'll feel like you don't have to change yourself or be somebody you're not. You'll pay no attention to whatever somebody says anymore. You'll feel no pressure to hide parts of yourself. You'll have a lot of deep conversations with them, finally having somebody to talk about your interests with. You may have a lot of knowledge about stars, dinosaurs, or something unusual. And they'll listen to you. They'll also provide emotional stability by always being there for you. I see that you guys will work together on something.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*

Pile 3

Your future partner will make you feel incredibly passionate and alive, bringing a spark into your life that you might not have known was missing. They will make you feel beautiful, not just by complimenting your looks, but by making you feel valued and cherished for who you truly are. I see that they are really rich/financially stable so With them, you'll feel financially secure, as they support you in achieving your goals and creating a stable future together. They'll teach you so many new things, whether it's about the world, different cultures, or even about yourself, transforming your perspective in ways you never imagined. Most importantly, they'll change your perspective about life, helping you see things from different angles and inspiring you to grow and evolve into the best version of yourself. Their presence will transform your everyday experiences, making life richer and more meaningful. They'll make you feel more creative and passionate about your hobbies. I see that they may become your muse or vice versa.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*

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fuctacles · 3 days

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@steddiesummerexchange for @chaosgremlinmunson | part 1/3 for easier reading on tumblr, but will be posted as a one-shot on Ao3 later | thanks @stevesjockstrap for beta-reading and mental support 💚

The shop was never busy. Aside from Valentine’s Day and Christmas, it was a lot of goofing around and packing online orders. And since it was pouring on a Tuesday afternoon, they expected no customers until closing, which was more than okay with them. They didn't choose it because it was popular. They chose it because their younger friends were too embarrassed to bother them here.

“It’s getting pretty bad,” Steve points out, squinting through the window. “I don’t wanna drive in this weather.”

Robin looks up just in time to catch a flash of lightning splitting the dark clouds outside.

“Maybe it will let up before we close.”

Thunder crackles above them, and Steve raises his eyebrow skeptically.

“We can wait it out in the pizzeria across the street,” she offers then.

“I like the way you think.”

There’s a loud bang as their doors slam open, letting inside some of the summer storm carnage. Despite the size of the shop, they can feel the cold rain on their faces, and for a second, the sound of the storm is deafening. It cuts off as suddenly as it started but is replaced by loud, displeased sounds of two figures drenched to the bone.

“Holy fucking shit!” a wet rat dripping on their floor curses loudly. He shakes his hands creating a small waterfall down the lapels of his leather jacket. The figure next to him drops down the hood of their jacket with a wet smack.

“Holy shitting fuck,” she agrees.

“They better be selling towels here.”

“Uh...” The unhooded figure, a short blonde, looks around curiously. “I’m afraid not.”

This prompts the guy to peel the wet hair away from his face and look properly around.

“Did we just walk into a fucking sex shop?”

“You did, yeah.”

The two turn to the desk when Steve speaks up.

Next to him, Robin flinches, and he senses something weird from her, like a brain equivalent of an exclamation mark. But he doesn’t think much of it, assuming it might simply be a reaction to the pretty girl in front of them.

“We have a radiator in the back, I could take your clothes to dry,” he offers the newcomers.

“No, we—”

“Are you seriously going back out in this weather?” The girl looks at her friend with raised eyebrows. He scoffs.

“No,” he admits petulantly.

“I can make you guys some hot tea. It’s not like anything is happening here anyway,” Robin pipes up.

“That would be great, thanks.” The blonde lights up gratefully, and Robin squirms.

Stave takes it upon himself to gather their wet things, afraid his friend might combust if she comes any closer to the girl. When he’s hanging the clothes, she is uncharacteristically quiet, so he turns to her and cocks his head.

“What’s up?”

She frowns at the mugs she's pulling out.

“Her.”

"Huh? She’s cute, isn’t she?" He grins.

“I think I could hear her,” Robin clarifies.

Steve straightens up immediately and walks towards his friend. She’s looking back up, worrying her bottom lip under her teeth.

“Do you think they are dating?” He motions to the front of the shop where they can hear the other two talk. She looks at the clothes scattered around the backroom. A denim vest, two black jackets, and a hoodie. Judging by the size and style, they all seemed to belong to one person.

“They could be like us,” he points out, but she doesn’t seem convinced. He isn’t either.

“Or she could not know.”

That would complicate things, wouldn’t it?

After exchanging a few heated looks they trail back to the front and Steve hands the teas to their intruders.

"Thank you." The girl smiles sweetly, though her gaze slides towards Robin.

Steve gives his friend a pointed look but she's too dazed to even flip him off.

"Thanks." The guy blows on his tea, keeping his gaze mostly on the window and the storm outside. "We'll take a look around and won't bother you guys," he says, giving his companion a pointed look before disappearing into one of the sections.

Steve knows it’s bad to stereotype but the assortment of strap-ons is not what guys like this usually go for, and his brain gets whiplash with the sudden onslaught of images he's not proud of. The tall guy wearing black and chains getting pegged by his tiny blonde girlfriend? It kind of suits him. He tries not to think about it.

They give them space to roam around the shop and whisper to each other while they finish their duties for the day and start closing up.

"Guys? We need to close in fifteen minutes!" Steve would feel bad for kicking them out into the storm, but the rain clouds have moved, turning the onslaught into a light drizzle.

It's only after they leave that Steve looks at the tattoo on the palm of his hand. Surprised at what he sees, he shakes it experimentally. The d20 lands back on the same number.

“Hey, look.” He holds it up for Robin to see. “I’ve never rolled a twenty before.”

Three days pass and Steve can't stand it anymore.

He slaps his hand on the counter, making Robin yelp.

“You’re thinking about her again!"

“I’m sorry!”

Steve shakes his head.

“No. Don't care, no sorries," he says with finality. “We’re finding her.”

"We go to the same school!" she protests. "I think. I mean, I'll run into her eventually!"

But Steve won't take that chance, tired of all the sighing from her brain, and decides to find the girl they've met. He figures the easiest place to find high schoolers is at the mall so that's where he goes.

With all the groups of friends and couples passing by, he feels even more like a loser than usual, being there all alone. But he's on a mission, so he won't let that deter him.

That is, until one of the faces he sees in the crowd gives him a pause. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize what's familiar about one of the three girls coming at him, but when the memory hits, he panics. Letting his flight response take over, he ducks into the nearest open door to avoid his ex.

After making sure the group has passed him without notice, he lets himself breathe. He's taking in the shop he stepped into, a record store full of tapes, vinyls, and band merch, when a voice startles his adrenaline levels back up.

"Well, well, well. How the tables have turned. Running from a gaggle of women, are we?"

Steve turns to find the metalhead who ran into his shop a few days ago, smirking at him.

"Just one." He shakes his head, instinctively looking back behind the glass door. "Really don't feel like running into my ex right now."

"Must be happening a lot, huh?" The man leans on the counter that separates them. "My friend told me you're quite the casanova."

Steve spots his opportunity and grabs it.

"The girl from the other day?" he asks.

"Yes?" The guy's eyes narrow.

“So you guys are friends?” he adds to clarify before he uncrosses his figurative fingers.

“Yes? Why else would we hang out?”

Steve feels his cheeks heat up under the man's suspicious stare.

“Well, you could be dating.”

The guy snorts.

“Yeah, I don't see the local freak bagging the head cheerleader. The fact that she can even stand me is enough.” Then his eyes narrow again. “Why? You interested in Chris?”

Chris.

“No? Well, kinda, but not… exactly.”

Steve has never felt less smooth in his whole life. And judging by the guy's expression, it shows. Whatever he was trying to sell, he wasn’t buying. His brain scrambles to salvage the situation and comes up with a painfully honest solution.

"Look, I just graduated and my friend group has fallen apart." He yells at his brain-to-mouth wires but keeps going anyway. "And you guys seem chill, I thought the four of us could hang out, or something?"

If the 'you suck' board still existed, he'd fill it out with tallies himself.

The man doesn't seem convinced and he opens his mouth to tear him to shreds probably, but then somebody yells from the back of the store:

"Eddie! A little help, please!"

And the guy, Eddie, gets reminded he's at work.

"Coming!" he yells back, and on his way there, throws Steve a quick string of, "Great seeing you again, we'll think about it, we know where to find you, bye!" before disappearing behind the back door.

After such a disastrous interaction, the last thing Steve wants to do is go back out into the mall full of people. But staying here to risk Eddie looking at him like that again was the more humiliating option. He turns around, planning to lick his wounds at home before reporting his findings back to Robin. For the hundredth time since finding her, he wishes they couldn't read each other minds. Because all he can think of is making a complete loser idiot of himself in front of a cool metalhead dude, and he knows she won't let him live it down. Maybe the Scoops board will make a comeback after this.

“Chrissyyyyyy!”

“Eddieeeeee!”

The rest of the cheer squad does perfectly synchronized eye rolls when their captain jumps down the human pyramid to greet her friend.

“Hi!” She smiles brightly. “You’re early. We’re not done yet.”

“I got some news.” He taps his fingers on the small partition between them, ignoring the cheer practice in progress. “Bad ones and good ones.”

“Bad first,” she says with a decisive nod.

Eddie opens his mouth but then frowns and closes it.

“It won’t make sense if you don’t hear the good news first.”

“Oh my god! Just spill it!”

“So, they’re almost surely not dating.”

“The sex shop guys?”

He nods.

“Okay, and the bad one?”

“Steve seems to be into you.”

“No!” she gasps, scandalized. Eddie snickers.

“Yeah. Sorry sweetie." His smile turns more apologetic.

Chrissy makes a face. Then she keeps making faces until Eddie can’t help but snort and slap her playfully.

“Stop! What are you thinking about?”

“I mean he’s kinda cute, but gives me repressed gay vibes.”

Eddie chokes but she keeps going.

“And his friend? His friend is just hot.”

“Ehh, I guess.” Eddie shakes his palm, making his friend roll her eyes.

“You’ll never understand the beauty of a woman in suspenders.”

“More women in suspenders for you then.” He grins, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Chris! You going back or what?” one of the cheerleaders behind them yells out, barely containing her annoyance.

“I’m coming!” Chrissy yells back. She turns to her best friend, her soulmate, with a dazzling smile. “You joining in?”

“You know they hate it when I do,” he points out.

“And you love it that they hate it.” She smirks like the evil little gremlin she secretly is.

“Fuck yeah, I do.” Eddie grins, climbing over the partition to join the cheerleading squad. A couple of girls groan, knowing what’s coming next but none of them dare to protest. If their captain’s soulmate wants to perform a perfect cheer routine, putting their months of practice to shame, there’s nothing they can do except blame the fates.

Eddie drops his leather jacket on the bleachers and does a couple of stretches in perfect sync with his friend. They grin at each other while mirroring each other’s movements without a word.

“If only you could read my mind during math exams like that,” Chrissy teases.

“Okay, shut up.” He rolls his eyes with fake annoyance. Yeah, it would be convenient, but he got a cheerleading routine memorized in his muscles instead. He’d be complaining if Chrissy wasn’t so fun to be around.

Despite his involuntary knowledge of the routine, none of the other girls fully trust him, so he usually ends up working mostly with Chris, tossing her in the air and catching her when needed.

“You should join us for the game,” she asks as always, after jumping down from his arms.

“I’ll think about it,” he answers as always, patting her head. She huffs, swatting his hand away and fixing up her ponytail, now loose from practice.

“Wanna go grab pizza?” she asks casually and he immediately goes into suspish mode. Chrissy rarely proposes eating out together. Don’t get him wrong, it’s great that his girlie is starting to eat better again, but… He doesn’t let his suspicion show when he asks:

“Sure. Any place in mind?”

She hums, but it’s a short hum. Very 'i-already-had-a-place-in-mind' like.

“The one with the Ninja Turtles poster?”

“You mean the one across the adult toys store?” He raises his eyebrows.

She blushes a fierce red and he knows it’s not because of the sex shop thing. He grins, wide and teasing.

“You wanna see that girl again.”

“Maybe,” she huffs defensively. “Okay, yes, so what?”

“So nothing.” He shrugs innocently. “Grab your things and we’ll go.”

“Yes!” she pumps her hands in victory, a dorky move Eddie’s proud to have taught her, and runs off to grab her backpack. She snatches his jacket before he can, overly eager to get moving. “Let’s go!”

He can’t help but laugh while trotting after her towards his van.

The inside of the store is brighter than they remembered, what with the sky being clear this time. It looks surprisingly normal until you take a better look at the contents of the boxes on display. A sex shop during daylight just lacks a certain ambiance.

The preppy-looking guy behind the counter doesn't match the vibe either.

At the sound of customers, the guy looks up.

"Hello! Oh, it's you guys." He visibly relaxes, realizing it's not his usual run-of-the-mill customers.

"It's us indeed." Eddie smiles, confidently strutting up to the counter. "Has anyone ever told you you look out of place here?"

Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Has anyone ever told you not to judge someone's sex life by their looks?"

Eddie raises his hands placatingly.

"Fair enough, man. I'll back off." However, the comment made him insanely curious about what a guy like that would be into. Behind him, Chrissy gently kicks him in the ankle, prompting him to take a look around. "Alone today?" he asks with a curious tilt of his head.

"Yeah, Robin is tutoring after school today. Why?" His eyes narrow.

"No reason, no reason."

Chrissy kicks him harder and he smiles through the pain.

“What is she tutoring in? I’m having trouble passing the last grade.”

It takes Steve a moment to answer, like he's measuring how much information he can give away.

“Foreign languages.”

The words are barely out of his mouth when Eddie snaps his fingers.

“Perfect! Can I get her number or something?”

The kick is so hard this time it jostles him forward and he glares back at his friend. It also attracts Steve’s attention to Chrissy.

He smiles at her, a bit unsure and shy. It rubs Eddie the wrong way and he can feel his hackles rise.

“Chris, right?”

“Chrissy,” she corrects, slightly scrunching her nose.

“Oh, sorry. It’s nice to see you again, Chrissy.” He smiles, more genuine this time.

“Uh, you too. Steve.”

Eddie clears his throat, hoping to come off as rude as possible.

Steve looks back at him and his expression shifts immediately. It’s almost a scoff.

“Listen, I don’t just give off my best friend’s number to random guys. But if you give me yours, I’ll pass it on.”

“Works for me,” Eddie says with the tightest approximation of a smile he can manage. “Do you have something I can write on?”

Steve looks around for the pen and notepad that are never in their designated spots and never together. He finds them under the keyboard.

“Here.”

But Eddie isn’t taking the items from him. Steve wiggles them like he would attract a pet or a child, but it doesn’t work. He’s about to make a snarky remark when the guy speaks up first.

“You have a D20 tattoo.”

“Huh?”

Steve is losing his mind.

But then he remembers that he does indeed have one and it’s partially visible when he’s holding out a pen like that.

“Ah, right.” He opens up his fingers and shakes his palm, causing the dice to roll. “It’s my soulmate mark.”

“Dude, that’s so dope.” Eddie’s eyes sparkle with marvel and Steve’s throat tightens. “You rolled a twenty, does that mean anything?”

Steve shrugs.

“I don’t know. One of my friends is a Dungeons and Dragons nerd and he told me it’s a luck thing? He freaked out pretty badly when I kept rolling ones on vacation, but nothing happened.” He smiles, fondly remembering Dustin’s panic.

Eddie hums.

“Man, having a functional D20 tattoo would be so fucking cool. I’m kinda jealous here.”

Steve snorts.

“Yeah, Dustin told me that too.”

Eddie finally takes the writing utensils from him, eyeing him contemplatively.

“I’m guessing you’re not a DnD nerd yourself? Considering you get your info from a friend?”

Steve chuckles.

"Yeah, no. Though I do get a lot of brain chatter from my soulmate."

"Brain chatter?" Eddie picks on curiously.

"Uh, yeah. I dream up whole campaigns and know lore I've never really studied. The kids go bonkers over it."

"Kids?"

Eddie's feeling both stupid and entranced by the guy.

"The DnD nerd? Dustin?" Steve says with annoyance that poorly covers up his fondness. "He comes with a full set of other nerds. A party, if you will. They just started high school and no, it's not weird that I know them. I used to babysit them and they just kind of..." He waved his hand. "Stuck on. Like parasites.

Eddie barks out a laugh.

"They sound delightful."

"They have their moments," Steve admits. Then they both stare at the number Eddie has scribbled on the piece of paper handed to him.

"So uh, see you around?"

"Yeah." Steve smiles. It's genuine and pleasant this time. But then, to Eddie's chagrin, he looks to the side. "You too Chrissy. Come over anytime. Maybe you need some tutoring too?"

"Uh, thanks, I'm good. Good luck finding a DnD nerd soulmate," she says, her tone weird. Eddie can't blame her. He wouldn't like being so blatantly hit on either. He could already feel her tugging on his jacket.

"Thank you," Steve says, smile turning a bit wistful. His eyes turn back to Eddie, away from his poor, sapphic-leaning soulmate. Good. He waves the note with the numbers. "I'll let her know you're interested but no promises. And hey, if you're into DnD too maybe you'd be interested in DMing for a bunch of freshmen?"

"I'll think about it," Eddie manages, slowly backing away, the force behind Chrissy's pull increasing. "Thanks, man. And, uh, good luck with the soulmate thing too!"

"Thanks."

The doors close in front of him and it feels like a curtain has just separated him from a whimsical spectacle.

"What the fuck was that?" Chrissy and Eddie ask each other in unison, albeit in vastly different tones.

"Huh?" Eddie frowns at his friend. She had already turned around and was pulling him towards the pizzeria across the street.

"Don't huh me! You forgot I was there!"

"I didn't!" He kind of did. For a teeny tiny second.

"You were clearly flirting with him."

"What? No, I wasn't!" he bristles. He'd know if he was flirting with someone.

She looks back at him sternly when they reach a table of her choosing. She plops down heavier than a tiny cheerleader should be able to and takes on a mocking, high voice.

"Oh man, I'm so jealous of your soulmate. Yes, I will play with your kids. Here's my number."

"I said no such thing," he hisses, sitting down across from her.

"Might as well." She shrugs. "You were interested in him."

"Well, he's an interesting person!" Eddie defends.

"Yeah, the preppy, vanilla high school heartthrob that is clearly not into the same stuff as you, other than his connection to his soulmate," she deadpans back. "Wouldn't have guessed."

"Shut up," he huffs, crossing his arms.

"Eddie, he asked you to hang out with his kids, himself," she points out.

"These are not his kids."

"You're so focused on the wrong details here. Do I have to wingman for you as well? Because I will. Just say the word."

Eddie closes his eyes and sighs. He knows his friend means well but it's just too much.

"Chrissy, stop. I don't need someone who has a soulmate with a matching, kick-ass D20 tattoo waiting for him somewhere. Probably a busty, nerdy girl, too—"

"Ew."

"Yeah, I know. He just seems interesting, and honestly? Expanding the party would be cool. So I might take him on the DMing thing I guess. But please, for the love of gods." He makes fierce eye contact with his friend. "No matchmaking. No wingmaning. Or wingwomaning. No setting Eddie up with a probably-heterosexual dude, who is probably into you."

A shudder goes down Chrissy's lithe body.

"Please don't remind me."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know," she sighs. "I'm really hoping I'm right about his friend." She drums her fingers on the table, biting her lip. "Maybe it's stupid but I feel like it would magically solve everything. He'd get over me, I'd get to bone his friend, and you'd get a new friend with a kick-ass nerd tattoo." She beams at him and he just can't help but laugh at his little ray of sunshine.

"I hope you're right too."

76 notes · View notes

annwrites · 3 days

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we're home

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: ficlet

— summary: you've finally reached california & found your happily ever after.

— tags: settling down, love, happiness

— tw: none

— word count: 1,092

— a/n: thank you all so much for the support. it has meant the world to me.

find my other posts concerning billy here

You lean over Billy’s chest with crossed arms, studying. You look at him. “Does it hurt?”

He glances up to you, shrugging his right shoulder slightly. “Not really.”

You roll your eyes. Tough guy.

He looks up to you again then. “Don’t tell me you’re ready to chicken out.”

You shift on your feet. “No.”

He smirks. “Good, ‘cus you promised me forever.”

The tattoo artists glances between the two of you with a raised brow, then continues. “The ink will be, if nothing else,” the man throws in.

Billy closes his eyes. “I know what I’ve got.” He smiles to himself, rubbing a thumb along his wedding band.

You glance down to your wrist, the name Billy written in small, delicate cursive across the width of it. You then glance across the car, to his bare chest—your name inked across his left pectoral. You smile to yourself at the sight.

It’d taken the better part of a day, but you’d finally made it. You were in California, sitting in a parking lot in Billy’s car, just looking out the windshield at the ocean in the distance. Something you’d never seen before. Never thought you’d set eyes on. You listen to the waves crash against the shore.

You turn in your seat, looking at your husband. Husband. He was your husband now. And you his wife. It still felt so strange to even think the words. But every time you did, you filled with warmth and happiness. And maybe your panties with a bit of wetness…

He rolls his head to the side, reaching up, gently running his knuckles along the soft skin of your cheek. “We’re here, baby. We’re home.”

You nod, leaning over, pressing your lips to his. When you pull away, there’s a gentle smile on his face.

“Do you remember that dream I told you I had? The one before…that day in Texas?”

You think back. That had been the morning he’d apparently realized that he was in love. With you. Something about making love in his car, wasn’t it?

You nod, smiling.

His caresses your cheek. “Want to help me make one more dream come true?”

“Daddy!” You clutch your pregnant stomach as your son’s hand slips out of yours, running in the direction of his father.

Billy drops his surfboard on the sand, smiling, picking up the four-year-old spitting image of him, tossing him in the air—your heart jumping nervously at the sight—then settling him against his hip.

When he sees you, he smiles, whistling. “Man, that is one hot mama.”

You roll your eyes, coming to stand in front of him as he lowers Warrant back to the sand. “Yeah, I feel hot. What is it that does it for you, huh? The big belly, swollen ankles, or the-”

He smirks. “Whole package, really, baby.”

He reaches out, cupping the back of your head, crushing his lips to yours, which taste pleasantly of salt water.

“Ew, what the hell dad?”

You pull away, looking down at Warrant, who’s staring up at the two of you from under a mop of blonde curls. You look at Billy then. “Do you see what you’ve taught him?”

He smirks, shrugging. “Going to punish me for it?”

You shake your head. “I should be spanking someone.”

He raises a brow. “Mm, pick me.”

He pulls you in again, kissing you, then moving his lips close to your ear. “You’re lucky I’ve already got you knocked up. Because if I didn’t?” He pulls back, staring down at you. “You’d be on your back right now getting bred.”

You flush, but tell yourself it’s only from the heat.

Warrant speaks up again. “So gross. Stop kissing.”

You both smile at each other.

Billy speaks, tenderly tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “Trust me, kid, you could do a lot worse when it comes to parents.”

A few years after your daughter is born, Billy stops competing in surfing competitions, telling you it was time. You’d tried to encourage him otherwise, but he’d said he had more important things to think about now.

He still did it for recreation. Had even taught you shortly after arriving in California, which had involved a lot of cursing and you nearly drowning once or twice, but it had been fun while it lasted, until you told him you preferred watching. Unable to help himself, he’d of course made a filthy joke out of that comment.

Warrant loved it, however. Living on the beach gave them ample opportunity every day to get out in the water. And through that—teaching his son, watching him thrive on the waves—is how he realized that he wanted to do it full time: teaching, training. Particularly kids. You knew why: he saw himself in all of them. Young and full of passion for something so much larger than themselves, just needing someone else to show them the way.

He did mechanic work on the side for a bit of extra cash, but also because he still loved getting his hands dirty and messing around in a garage.

Speaking of which, he kept the Camaro. Took it out for a spin every now and again. Usually just the two of you in the front seats. Sometimes you’d sneak away just to screw in the backseat of it. It’s how your daughter had been conceived. Not that you hadn’t been trying.

A few years after Warrant was born, Billy had suggested that the two of you stop using protection. That ‘whatever happened, happened’. And during that time, you’d barely been able to keep him off of you. But you’d repaid the favor when you got pregnant again. Your hormones taking the driver’s seat for months. Billy didn’t complain once.

As for you? You were a full-time housewife. You and Billy had discussed it very early-on after coming to Cali. You had worked some to help with saving up enough to buy a house, but once you became pregnant, Billy made it clear that he’d never stop you from continuing to work if that’s what you wanted, but he ‘never wanted you to feel like you had to’. That he intended to keep that promise to take care of you. Both of you. All of you.

So, you settled into a daily, yet hectic life. But every time you felt overwhelmed—like maybe at times you had a bit more than you could handle—all you had to do was look at them, your family, and know: you had just exactly enough.

The End.

#fic: stranger things (billy hargrove x reader)#billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader

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authentic-certified-lesbian · 3 days

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I sincerely apologise to everyone for this account. I will be deleting it in a few days. I have recently got a boyfriend and I really love him, he respects my bisexuality, he’s an ally, and he respects lgbtq community equally and can not tolerate people who discriminate them. He likes most of my fucked up kinks that aren’t homophobic or misogynistic. I haven’t told him about this kink either. I’m in love with him, and seeing him made me realise how fucked up I really am. How all of this is. I was always bullied and abused for my bisexuality all these years and I turned all this homophobia into a kink. I really never expected an actual cishet boy to get me who wouldn’t hate me, insult me, or hurt me because of my sexuality.

I’m sorry to all the lgbtq people who have faced harsh lgbtq-phobia all these years, even more to the ones who turned this into a kink as a safe space for themselves. I hope you all recover soon. Everyone deserves to be loved. I love you all, thank you so much for all the emotional support I received. I’m really grateful to you all.

And to all the lesbians and bisexuals sending me hate and death threats, I don’t apologise to you, fuck off. I was trying to make my own safe space and you kept nosing into my business. All my mutuals and followers are respectful of me and lgbtq community. This is like a fucking role-play. Grow the fuck up. I have straightbreaking kink too, but you guys wouldn’t have called it very dangerous to the society if I expressed it, isn’t it? Back the fuck off, give me my own space.

Thank you to everyone else for the love and emotional support. You guys deserve the whole world. Goodbye.

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luminouslywriting · 2 days

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Hey! Novalis here again with another Winters request lol. This time it's based on that scene in Captain America: The First Avenger (one of my favorite films of all time) where we meet Peggy and she's confidently speaking with this guy who's making fun of her before she decks him in the face. Could we have something based on that where maybe one of the guys messes with the reader like that and ends up punching the guy in the face -> also pairing reader and Winters somehow in this request? Thanks!

Iconic of you to request this!! I would be HAPPY and thrilled to do this for you :) Reminder that my requests are open and I don't mind spam haha!

More under the cut, cut for length, slight sexual harassment/intimidation (not from Winters) mentioned, medical jargon and speak mentioned as well:

-Listen, I've said it once and I'll say it again, Dick Winters is a man who drinks his respect women juice

-So when the head doctor is introducing herself during the training and preparation for D-Day, you tend to listen to her because her instructions could mean the difference between life and death

-For Dick Winters, he's an attentive man who has already struck up a friendship and correspondence with you. And maybe, just maybe, if things go well, he'd like to ask if he can write you and if he can take you out sometime.

-But for right now, he's dutifully staying within the respectful bounds of a workplace relationship and no fraternization

-So there he is, standing at attention and listening to your instructions about how best to tie a tourniquet if there are no medics around (which is really quite useful, especially if something goes wrong with the jumps)

-And someone dares to question what a woman would even know about medical needs

-And he goes on and on about how women aren't meant to serve their country in the same way and how they need to be at home waiting to make babies or be filled up by some man

-So naturally Dick Winters is fuming about the entire thing and flabbergasted at this man's audacity

-And just when he's about to say something, you step up to the bat, ask the man's name, rank, etc.

-Once you have the information, you gracefully punch him in the nose and there's a very satisfying crunch of things. And the thing is?? You're a doctor. You know exactly how much force is needed to break a bone and how much is needed to set it back in place

-So there are the medics, bustling around because WTF??? And you just have them re-set his nose right then and there

-In that moment, Dick Winters has never been more in love in his life and he's got those googly/starry eyes that has Nixon looking at him like he's a freakin' simp or something

-The man is howling all sorts of things

-And you're just, "I outrank you. What are you gonna do? Court martial me? After all of that harassment? I don't think so, buddy."

-Dick Winters decides on the spot that he wants to marry you

-So yes, after the whole training is over, he does in fact, go for it and ask you out :) He also commends the punch and gives a kiss to the forming bruise on your knuckle

-We stan a supportive husband lol

#band of brothers headcanons #band of brothers asks #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #easy company #dick winters headcanons #dick winters imagines #dick winters x reader #dick winters

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marshslovedone · 1 day

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always and forever

➥ 100 follower special ☆

Pairing(s): Polyam South Park boys x Fem!Reader

Specialty: Fluff & oneshot

C/W(s): implied Stan x Craig, Kyle x Tolkien, Stan x Craig x Tweek, Stan x Tweek,

A/N: thank you for 100 followers you guys are so amazing and adorable I love you all so much I hope you enjoy this little thing I have cooked up <3

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

People always thought you were dating jimmy. Which you were, people saw you two outside of school, kissing, and the rumors hit the school instantly. But once they did people thought the boys, almost the 9 biggest assholes in the town, we’re going to throw a fit about you being with jimmy since people could tell they had a thing for you. But they didn’t, they just held a smile and held sadness in their eyes as they congratulated jimmy. But what people didn’t realize was they weren’t sad because jimmy got to you first. They were sad that people will only know you’re dating just jimmy and not them as well.

You’ve been dating the 10 boys for about 4 years now. ever since 8th grade to senior year of high school. You had a big heart, the boys knew that, they knew you always wanted to just love not one person but many, they knew how much love was in you based on how long they knew you. they all had a crush on you for so long and once 8th grade hit along with puberty and hormones. They saw how puberty hit you and they all knew they had to seal the deal with you and they all agreed to be in a poly relationship with you. The sigh of relief they felt when you felt the same made them feel so good. Balancing your time and love for each of the boys took a lot to master but you got it instantly. each boy usually has a day with just you to yourself and then group hang outs.

They all get jealous really easily and freak out in private when they overhear your friends or someone saying they asked you out. It wasn’t a secret that the whole school, town matter in fact knew you were polyamorous and had a lot of love in your heart. Many people were supportive but then there are others who don’t agree what you think but don’t shove it down your throat. So when people saw you with just jimmy people were surprised. But then again polyam relationships take a lot of communication and time so they just thought you and jimmy were talking about it. Boy were they all were wrong.

“I still can’t believe you and jimmy got caught. Weren’t you two just on a date in the mall?” Kyle said as he sat next to you under the tree behind the school. The other boys soon follow as they sat around kinda in a big circle. “Well yeah and what I thought was secluded, I kissed him, but I guess bebe and red saw and told everyone.” I sighed leaning on his shoulder which kyle smiled and kissed the top of my head which made me smile. After that action I soon felt weight on me which I saw clyde and Kenny on top of me. “Y/N!!! I missed you!!” Clyde smiled as he kissed my right cheek as Kenny did the same with my left cheek. “I missed you too Y/N!! Class was so morning I miss having classes with you..” Kenny said as he kept kissing my left cheek. “okay you guys need to get up, you’re going to suffocate her” Tolkien soon got to the tree sitting next to kyle, who soon gave a book back to him as Tolkien soon held the ginger’s hand. “Aw you’re no fun Tolkien!! I’m just showing love to my girlfriend!!” Clyde whined as he got off on the girl who had a red face. “our girlfriend, clyde, she’s not just yours.” Craig said as he dragged Clyde and Kenny by their arms to move so he can sit next to the (H/C) hair girl. “yeah, she’s ours too! not just yours” stan grunted as he sat next to craig, which soon stan leaned on his shoulder which Craig sneakily wrapped his around around Stan’s waist. “God damnit butters you need to move faster! You’re ass was so slow in line I couldn’t get nachos in time” cartman soon arrived as he kept throwing small balls of paper at butters as jimmy was with them giggling at the scene. “Well I’m sorry! I could t decide what to eat..” butters soon sighed sitting down across from Kyle. “Y-you did take y-y-your time, I was l-l-lucky enough to get f-food” jimmy said as tweek who was behind jimmy all this time helped jimmy sit down on the grass. “Y-yeah butters! Don’t forget we’re supposed to be quick w-with lunch so we can come behind the school!” Tweek twitches as he sat next to Stan, which Stan smiled soon grabbing the blonde boys twitching hand. “How do all of you guys manage to be so noisy when coming here” Kyle rubbed his forehead in annoyance as each boy came to the tree behind the school loudly. “I’m just surprised they didn’t get caught by the staff of the students.” Y/N soon chuckled as she relaxed more on Kyle’s side.

“Sorry, we’re just excited you know! All of us don’t get privacy at the school so we can’t act how we are now when in the cafeteria!” Clyde soon said as he sat down next to cartman, Kenny sitting on Clyde’s other side. “Yeah! We can’t even talk about hangouts without people turning their heads! Ever since the town found out Y/N is polyamorous, people have been looking at Y/N when she wants to hang out with friends” Kenny added to Clyde’s words. Soon each boy looked at Y/N who was eating her food. She soon looked at them putting her hands up in defense. “Hey! Don’t give me a look I never meant to for people to find out, the only people who knew were the 10 of you and wendy” Y/N continued eating right after. Each boy looked at each other before cartman soon said something. “well maybe you shouldn’t have blabbered your mouth to wendy she probably spread it” “she did not! She’s been my best friend since day one!! She would never!!” Y/N yelled back before throwing her juice box at cartman who yelled out.

Y/N soon stared at each of the boys who soon started talking about more and more about how people found out and soon other things like school, after school clubs, and more. Y/N soon smiled as she watched the boys interact and not at each other’s necks like usual. Y/N knew they were all secured and safe. Nobody in this town besides Y/N’s parents would know. Yeah everything would be okay.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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justanamesstuff · 2 days

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I wasn’t going to do this because I thought it was cheesy and corny and not many care. but I care and this was my blog for the last few years, even though it changed a lot more a year ago (blame the 1975 for that blessing hehe). So here I go....

First thing i have to say is THANK YOU. I’m not just saying it, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for all the support, for all the interactions, for many many memories I’ll tell --to whoever listens to my rants-- when my elderly days come haha. Thank you for being so nice to me, thank you for starting conversations when I was/am too shy to start those because you are all so cool and I feel a bit intimidated. I’ll never forget that you were there with me during the hardest time I had to go through (still am) when my dad passed away…I wasn’t expecting that level of affection and love but you proved me otherwise. Thank you for all that and more.

Secondly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the fics i didn’t read and support, I’m sorry for the comments I didn’t leave. I’m sorry for all the things I promised to write, post, but never get to do. I’m sorry for the moments you expected me to be there and I wasn't, not because I didn’t want, only because I was too focused on the shit I was going through that moment even though it’s not an excuse. I’m sorry if any comment I made hurt someone (I hope this never happened but if it’s the case…I’m sorry). I’m sorry for all the typos and mistakes I’ve made hehe.

Something I also want to say is the fact that I had many good moments here…I've met people that I can call friends and I hope they will be in my life for the rest of it. The 75tumblr gave me more than what I can return. I only had one really bad experience that only made me appreciate my mutuals and friends much more...you have always been so nice and supportive that nothing or no one can overshadow that <333

I want to speak more about the great people I’ve met here…there are so many, I’m that lucky!! I love my mutuals, my friends, and everyone I got a chance to interact with here. When the first months of being part of the fandom went by, I was so surprised about the family feeling and the positivity going around it. This fandom is beautiful beyond compare, it has its difficult moments from time to time but like any family right? Each and every one of you is incredible…so kind, so talented and so supportive of the guys and the rest of the community created specially here. That’s something to applaud and be proud of every day!!

I have to say thank you to the guys because through them, I’ve met you…and specifically because they arrived into my life during one of the hardest moments of my anxiety and depression. The four of you meant so much to me that it’s incredibly difficult to put into words without thinking of Matty rolling his eyes at me in my imagination 😅😅 I love the four muppets so much!

Well, I won’t extend this more so…it’s been a pleasure guys! I love you all as I always try to tell you, I’ll love you for the rest of my days! And I hope universe, god, life, whatever crosses our paths again somehow.

All the love,

#it isnt a goodbye #its a see you later guys #also sorry because this is long and makes me cringe a little #love you guys

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sleepyhutcherson · 3 hours

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summer with the schmidts.

paring: mike schmidt x gn!reader (briefly mentioned)

summary: mike dreads the summer but deals with being outdoors knowing how much abby loves it.

tags: random headcannons that i came up with, fluff, established relationship, but reader is briefly mentioned, use of y/n, abby being mentioned, not revised, don’t think there’s anything else but let me know!

author’s note: i literally hate summer and i just know mike would too but i’m really just trying to be positive about it so i came up with these.

mike schmidt isn’t a big summer guy, let’s be honest. he prefers literally any other season, but when he catches the excitement in abby’s eyes when you mention how much fun the three of you will have, he forces himself to remain positive about it.

mike schmidt who tries to act like he isn’t excited while you all go out shopping for summer stuff. and honestly, at first he really isn’t, but when you suggest water balloons he tries to hide his excitement.

mike schmidt who always urges for abby to wear sunscreen. he definitely takes that seriously, too. he always has to tell abby something like “if you don’t put sunscreen on then we’re not going out.” in order to get her to put it on. he lowkey gets strict about it.

mike schmidt who hates how hot it is because he loves loves loves wearing hoodies. this is another reason why he dreads summer. he just feels more comfortable wearing layers, long sleeves, hoodies, etc.

mike schmidt who surprises abby with a pool. it’s not those expensive huge ones but he manages to save up some extra money to buy her one that she can have fun in.

mike schmidt who sleeps with like so many fans on. he can’t deal with the heat especially when he’s trying to sleep.

mike schmidt who goes out to sit with you while you both watch abby drawing with chalk on the driveway. the entire time you both talk, watching her with awe. eventually, you both join abby after she practically begs both of you to draw with her.

mike schmidt who is a sucker for ice pops (i’m not sure if that’s what they’re called, i know them as bolis, sorry!) and has like 10 a day. he swears they keep him from dying in the heat.

mike schmidt who will insist to hold you during the night. yes, he hates how hot it gets, but that’s why he keeps so many fans in his bedroom. he needs to hold you during the night, doesn’t matter how hot it is.

mike schmidt who suggests for you to sleep naked when you complain about how hot it is during the night. honestly, he sleeps in literally just his boxers during the summer. sometimes he’ll wear a tshirt, sometimes he won’t.

mike schmidt who will get in a bad mood due to the heat. it happens occasionally. he just can’t take it and will get angry at any little thing if he’s been in the heat too long without any water or fruit.

mike schmidt will live off fruit during the summer. literally he doesn’t know why but he has such a crave for it. he’s always chopping some up and snacking on it while you’re both outside with abby.

taglist: @cancelledkaley @stanheights-boyfriend @ploty-twist @st4r-b0ylover @laurrrelise @joshfutturman @gryffindorsblog @sofiehutch @obsessivemuso-withnofriends @helen-on-earth @fallingboba @cassiecasluciluce @maticka @jhutchissupercool

thank you for reading and for all your support <3

#divider by animatedglittergraphics n more #mike schmidt #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt headcanons #josh hutcherson fanfic #mike schmidt comfort #mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt smut #josh hutcherson fluff #josh hutcherson #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt angst #josh hutcherson smut #fnaf movie #fnaf

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fallenwithoutgrace · 1 day

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NEW FIC: INEFFABLE MAY 2024

Prompt for Ineffable May 2024 - Day 31: The Second Coming 🖤✨

Apologies for the lateness, life do be life-ing right now…

GUYS WE ARE DONE. 🥹 I can’t believe I have completed the challenge. Thank you so so much for everyone who read/commented/gave kudos/supported me over the last month. It means so so much. 🖤

This fic is dedicated to @blairamok for their brilliance in setting up Ineffable May and to @celticseawych (you’re not accepting gifts) who has been so kind. 🖤👏

FULL SERIES:

#aziraphale #crowley #fanfic #aziracrow #gomens #good omens #ao3 link #ineffable may #ineffable lovers #ineffable spouses

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vestaclinicpod · 2 days

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Audio Drama Sunday - 2nd June ✨

I feel like I haven’t had lots of listening time this week, but what I have heard has been amazing!

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (154) ohh I am such an arachnophobe but I loveddd the return of LEM. Clem selling Danielle out sure is a CHOICE but tbh Danielle has such Ethel vibes this season that I assumed she was who Clem was going to visit when she was introduced. If anyone can stare down all 8 of Ethel’s eyes, it’s our girl Danielle. I want her to blow strawberry smoke in them from her new sexy cigarette holder. I had been wondering how the other boat could possibly house our nautical murderer but they can fly!! Duh! Imagine being stuck in a room with futuristic Vermin Supreme while there’s a vampire outside?? Bonkers.

I’m SO desperate for the next episode to find out the results of Shank autopsy!! Shelby better get 60000 apologies from the other pigs in the room……

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (23) system administrator??? what does that MEAN? I really thought they were going to kiss this episode 🤭 What a lovely story of conservation and love for nature!!!

👁️ @malevolentcast (42) I am OBSESSED with Yorick’s jaw snap. What a fun sound effect. I honestly can’t be coping with these situations Arthur gets into. A rapier?? Internally?? Sir. Please. You do too much.

🎙️WTNV (249) I know I say this all the time… but the weather really did slap this episode.

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (18) This one was genuinely unsettling. I can’t believe the neutral response from the autopsy guy?? Literally ‘felt cute, might delete later’?? I would be taking myself straight to A+E to wait 23 hours for a mental health review???

🍎 @notquitedeadpod (XXXX) AAAAAAAH. SUCH a good episode and SUCH a good ending to the season!! Ohh the acting was SO good. It hurt me to hear Neige like that. Alfie’s rage and panic and despair were so palpable. The scenes at the facility were perfectly gory. I guess the benefit of having a 10000 year old vampire boyfriend is that he’s survived without cars and electricity before and, by God, he’ll do it again. I am wishing Eira nothing but impeccable and easy planning and writing for the next season! I can’t wait!!!

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E11) eek! I feel very weird writing about something I’m in but just want to share how excited I am to be a part of one of my favourite shows 🩷 a huge thanks to Leanne for having me!!!!

Today is the last day to support @monkeymanproductions' crowdfunder for their next show Waiting For October! They're so close to their goal!!

#audio drama sunday #tell no tales #hfth spoilers #travelling light #malevolent spoilers #not quite dead #tmagp spoilers #wtnv

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cabinette · 22 days

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fun times at the theme park!

#I didnt even try to shade this lmfao i'm sorry #the only reason i made this is to draw marcille and her jumbo skyfish plushie can you tell #happy 2k to me #thank you guys SO much for the support these days #art cabinet #dungeon meshi #marcille donato #chilchuck tims #laios touden #izutsumi #senshi of izganda #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months

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The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case.#Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two.#The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it.#Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't.#These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too.#And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle!#You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy!#Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times!#I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking!#Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

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jagalart · 2 months

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Bounty Hunter

A tengu character I designed for the greatest @ WithTheFox, thank you again for trusting me with this 🖤 I'm back to comms tomorrow so you can expect updates soon 👁️

#tengu #kenku #anthro #corvid #character design #pathfinder #art #I'VE ALSO JUST REACHED 3K HERE AND I'M ?? ? THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT #i had a l o t of Tumblr accounts and this is the first that reached over 1k and it just. means a lot to me #thank you so much guys #plus nowadays tumblr generally starts to become my fav platform to post tbh? you guys leave so many comments here it makes my day...thank #you i appreciate you all a lot #<3

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 months

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On Kurapika's Self-Imposed Isolation

While I recognize that probably everything I'm about to say is going to be super obvious, I just wanted to briefly touch on Kurapika's self-isolation, and the reason behind his not picking up his phone or exchanging anything more than clipped words and business after Yorknew.

I think the obvious answer is that Kurapika doesn't want his friends in harms way, or to be used as a bargaining tool against him. This is an understandable and probably accurate conclusion. After all, Gon and Killua did get taken hostage, and Kurapika was forced to negotiate an exchange. Chrollo picked up on Kurapika's "weakness" right away - that he values his friends' safety before his revenge. Fortunately for Kurapika in this situation, Pakunoda was a whole lot more similar to him than he would've cared to admit, as she placed a value on Chrollo's life even though everyone in the Spider was intended to be replaceable. So, now that he's been through Gon and Killua having potentially gotten killed or seriously hurt, and Chrollo knows that he has a soft spot for them, it does make sense that he would try to push them away for their safety and for the sake of not having an exploitable "weakness" in future. He may also not want to burden them more when they have their own lives to live - he does slip off without telling Gon and Killua for the sake of not distracting them from Nen training, after all.

Except that he already tried all this earlier in Yorknew arc. He tried to tell them they shouldn't get involved, and they all agreed that the risks were massive - but his friends agreed to undergo the risks anyways to help him. Kurapika was even grateful for it - "I have been blessed with good friends."

So, for him to push them away solely for this reason after the fact, knowing that this was very much a likely situation to happen, is a little odd to me. Kurapika knows full well that Leorio would be frustrated, Killua would be offended and Gon would worry. So, I think there's a little more to it than that, and I actually would venture to say that "keeping his friends out of danger" is more a secondary reason for his actions - one that would come across as more of a reasonable excuse to others.

The primary reason is likely a lot more selfish than that. Kurapika has to ensure his mission comes first. And unfortunately, he is fully aware that his path and choice in abilities is deeply self-destructive.

Kurapika needs to make sure that he doesn't have exploitable weaknesses, sure, but he also just as much needs to purposefully worsen his headspace - and he can't do that with those three around.

Think back, what are the happiest moments we see from Kurapika in the series? The one that comes to mind first, and the one I'm sure most of us will think of immediately, is this:

[ID: A screenshot from the 2011 anime adaptation. Kurapika smiles - he looks at ease. End ID.]

It's one of the sweetest scenes of the series imo, right before the whole group is reunited for the first time since the Zoldyck Family arc, and it's even more notable because it comes immediately on the tail end of this...

[ID: Three panels from HxH Chapter 101. Kurapika removes his contacts over the sink. His expression is distant. End ID.]

...and this...

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A close up of Kurapika's vacant and furious expression, his eyes wide and dangerous as he says "It might as well be you." Though the art is in black and white, it's apparent his eyes have gone scarlet. End ID.]

...and this.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A distant Kurapika speaks on the phone on a rooftop at night, the cityscape of Yorknew around him dark, but speckled with lights and stars. He says "The Spiders are dead." His face is not visible to the reader. End ID.]

This is, up to this point in the series, Kurapika at his lowest. In contrast to Gon, who is happy to hear that the Spiders are dead already because now Kurapika can focus solely on finding his peoples' eyes, Kurapika... is clearly not happy - and that's because killing the Spiders himself isn't just revenge. It's penance. It's survivor's guilt. Kurapika's powers, which Izunavi even comments sound much like he is chaining himself in the process of chaining his enemies, are oh-so-beautifully prophecied to destroy him - and Kurapika was aware of this from the moment he set off down this path of revenge.

(As a side note, this is why I'm really hoping we see Gon and Kurapika interact again after the Chimera Ant arc - while Gon has always been pretty attentive to Kurapika's emotional state, in Yorknew, he lacks a true understanding of why Kurapika would go so far... but as of now, he understands rage fueled by guilt and grief all too well. I know we're all rooting for Leorio to reach Kurapika, but barring that, I really think Gon could get through to him - after all, they are similar in several ways, and I find it fairly apparent that Gon reminds Kurapika of Pairo.)

But back to the main point here - I do suspect Kurapika expects (if not wants) his revenge mission to destroy him. I think a lot of times, we forget just how young Kurapika is, and how much his character is dictated by honour, and the abandonment of it.

Certainly, he can and will go against his principles for the sake of his mission... yet, almost paradoxically, he's bound to his promise to his fallen clan; a promise to avenge them made in anger.

But Kurapika... doesn't come across as a naturally angry person to me at all.

He seems like the stoic, vengeful type on his initial introduction... and then we get his panic at Gon's recklessness

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 2. Kurapika and Leorio wear matching expressions of panic in front of Gon, calling him out for his recklessness. End ID.]

...and his near-immediate forgiveness of Leorio after getting the first inkling of his character - of someone who cares just as fiercely as he does.

And after that point? Almost all through the Hunter Exam? Kurapika smiles so readily at them. He's sharp and funny. He mediates at times, but is stubbornly prideful in others. He's very amused by his friends' antics, and it really does seem like he starts to enjoy himself, with them. And, more than that, he counters Leorio's initial impression of him as an independent loner - on several occasions. He decides to follow Gon because Gon intrigues him. Asides from Gon, it is Kurapika who is the most unwilling to fight each other at the bottom of Trick Tower. Kurapika who makes the first move to team up with Leorio, even though that arrangement benefits Leorio much more than it does him. Kurapika who refuses to abandon Leorio to his fate in the cave, and who checks on Gon after noticing his bad mood. Who was furious enough watching him get beat down by Hanzo that his eyes went scarlet for the first and only instance outside of Spider mentions and Emperor Time. Who quite readily detoured to help rescue Killua.

[ID: Three screenshots from the 2011 adaptation Hunter Exam arc. In the first, Kurapika smiles at a sleeping Leorio. In the second, Kurapika stifles laughter as he pretends he's asleep. In the third, Kurapika has an open-mouthed smile as he acquires the airship tickets for them, Leorio and Gon standing behind him. End ID.]

Look at him! He's so bright! So happy!

...too happy. Too happy to do what he promised himself he would do. And that's his biggest fear, isn't it. Without his rage... what is he left with?

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 2. A close up of Kurapika's eye as he says "I do not fear death. What I fear is that my rage will one day fade away." End ID.]

Kurapika is far, far less mired in anger when he's with his friends. I actually dare to say that at certain points, he was able to go for lengths of time without thinking much about it - alternating between almost forgetting in one instance and being hit like a sledgehammer on exposure to a reminder in the next. This violent swing is... actually the beginnings of the natural process of healing from loss and trauma. But to Kurapika, who's made a promise to his people's memories, this is not a relief. This is betrayal.

I think that actually scares him, that he can almost picture it. A life beyond his guilt. That he, too, could learn to be happy, even after unimaginable loss.

And so, as Kurapika continues his mission offscreen, finding more and more gruesome reminders of the cruelty inflicted on his people and losing more and more pieces of himself in the process (in his own words, no less), he prioritizes his responsibility to them, and pushes away his distractions. He cannot be a soul at peace until his work is done; he must be in turmoil. He pushes people away who he cares for, and binds himself, and keeps his people's eyes on him, quite literally, because respite, for him, is unacceptable. Perhaps that guilty part of him even hopes, by the end of this, that his soul will be so unrecognizable as to be fundamentally unsalvageable. But the truth of the matter is, or at least what comes across to me, is that Kurapika cares much more fiercely than he hates. He knows what matters most. And for as long as he does, he still hasn't truly lost himself.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 350. Kurapika looks down at baby Woble with a gentle, yet complicated expression. The inking is somewhat softer. End ID.]

Kurapika's soul is kind, really. And it wants to heal - but for the sake of his mission, he needs it damaged and bleeding. And so, he forces himself to exist in that pain. All alone.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 344. Kurapika, dressed in a black suit, sits with his back to the reader, looking down at a photo in his hand. He is slumped a little before the church vigil he has prepared, all his clan's eyes lined up in their jars and honoured with flowers and candles. He thinks to himself "There is no home for me to return to... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing left." End ID.]

#thank you for coming to my ted talk on how kurapika is worsening his own mental health as well as physical health on purpose have a good day #oh my god this took me so long but it was worth it!!!#actual analysis!!! it's been so long!!!#anyways i'm far shakier on my hxh knowledge than other fandoms i've written meta for #so i hope this makes sense. i appreciate additions to it just please be polite!#i also believe that togashi's writing lends itself to multiple interpretations that are equally valid. so much of this #may be my own takeaway. but i do think there's enough evidence to support it #well. i hope you guys suffer... i mean enjoy.#storyrambles #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh meta #kurapika #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective #<-analysis tag i missed you

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