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#that dog sure is cat shaped
radio-ghost-cooks · 5 months
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goodnight to people who sleep on long bus rides. goodnight to people who can sharpen knives. goodnight to those who walk through the woods in the pitch black of night. goodnight to disk jockeys. goodnight to cat-shaped cats. goodnight to dog-shaped dogs. goodnight to dog-shaped cats and cat-shaped dogs. goodnight to all the small musicians. goodnight to the pokebloggers. goodnight to people who still adore those papa's pizzeria style flash games. goodnight to donut lovers. goodnight, night vale. goodnight.
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lightspren · 1 month
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Ok so I keep freaking out about if I can actually do this dog thing, if I’m actually enough. I love this dog dearly but i’m so exhausted all the time and that’s made worse this weekend by being sick. and I know that love is not enough to give a dog what she needs to be happy and healthy.
however. look. my big concerns are not being able to give her the exercise and stimulation she needs and wanting to be able to just Chill and cuddle my spouse and cats in calmness. and like. she’s almost certainly a great pyrenees mix. Relatively (as in, relative to other dogs I like, aka shepherds), she doesn’t need that much exercise. A good run in the yard a few times a day should do her, especially once she’s not so much of a puppy. And that’s the thing too— she’s a puppy. She’s excitable and chewy and a Lot because she’s 12mos old and still growing up. that takes time. and the cats are unhappy and won’t come cuddle— because she’s been here four days! they’re still adjusting!
i really need to take a step back and calm down. four days is not long enough to throw in the towel on this. she’s a puppy and we’re all adjusting but there is room in our lives for her. we can do this. i just need to fucking chill for maybe like five minutes and understand that this is an adjustment for the humans too, and that’s okay. I just need to chill.
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rowanhoney · 9 months
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Ok I also explored where my bisa and my tío and my cousins lived. I’ve never looked at a map or had their addresses but I do have a good sense of direction and a freaky memory for layouts and I think I found everyone’s homes and you can bet I’ve been absolutely weeping about every single one
#tío Juan turned his irrigation pool into a swimming pool. and you can tell cos it’s higher up and a funny shape#and he had a small amount of land for his goats and chickens etc#and a bigggg pine tree#and the garage was under the balcony#anyway I found that. I just clicked the local castle and searched the surroundings for land that matched#it’s definitely 100% his home#and my cousin lived very very close I remember the road to it doesn’t seem like a real road and you have to go through a tiny underpass#but he renovated a very old water mill. with no water. and it also has a lot of land#Also for his goats and pigs and dogs and cats#and cos it’s a unique building I found it easily#my other cousin was harder to find. I didn’t go there as often. they came to us more or met us at another house#but I remember it was higher up and at the end of a path#and there was a gate and some land to the left#I THINK I found it. almost everything matches up but the outside of the building looks a little different hmmmm#also I found my bisa’s flat. but it’s been the longest since we were there#cos she sold it and moved in with us when she got old#and all those flats near the beach look the same#but this one seems to have a hollow between buildings and there’s a square a little further up and I’m pretty sure that’s it#anyway I’m. im feeling better#being with my Spanish family is the only time I’ve ever ever felt loved#THEYRE all saved to my favourites now#Juan died a long while ago but my cousin Pablo lives there now#and he works the land and has a produce business#I need to go back I really do#Also . my snooping skills are incredible to figure this all out. obviously#same with finding my abuelas village#it’s so small it’s unmarked i just had to keep looking for groups of buildings until I found the right one#then I checked with her and I was right#my old town ik as well as where I live now so that was fine
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Constantly say I'm bad at drawing animals but it's because I never attempt to. So I decided let's take it one step at a time let's draw some furries anthropomorphic animal characters from a book I'm writing
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↑this ones my favorite I think I'm gonna lean into this style more when drawing these guys
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hawksheadcanonblog · 2 years
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Rewrite rambles! In light of the new codes, let’s discuss half clan relationships. Between two different clans, it’s still a huge no as is changing clans for love, even if Windflight exists as halfclan in my rewrite too. Between a clan cat and a non-clan cat? Really, they don’t care about that. No one blinked an eye at Frostfur saying her litter was half loner. Whiskerstar(Onestar) will seem especially douchey for telling Smoke she can’t join WindClan or at least take in their kits since it’s just normal for the clans to take in rogues and loners. That said, half kittypets and being raised kittypet is still a huge stigma in the clans that only lifted a bit due to Firestar proving there are kittypets out there that can survive without their twolegs.
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maiko-san · 3 months
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Catnap + Dogday x Reader ( Part 1 )
Part 2 >>>
Relationship : Fluff
Reader : Female, age 20.
Plot : You are one of the Playcare employees that looks after the Smiling Critters and makes sure all the mascots are in good shape.
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The very first day you were assigned to the Playcare, you didn't expect the mascot to be huge and very tall. Hell, even taller than Huggy Wuggy themselves!
You were nervous to be around these mascots but it was your job to keep them at a top notch.
Dogday, the leader of the smiling critters was the first to greet you. His personality is as bright as the sun necklace around his neck.
The others follow his lead and greet you with smiles on their faces, welcoming you to the daycare.
Well, except one.
Which was Catnap.
The purple cat mascot is high up on one of the buildings, watching everything from above and his eyes looking down at you, judging you from afar.
For the first week, you monitor the smiling critters and their behaviours. The others are fine interacting with the children, except for Catnap who prefers to be on his own.
You tried to get the cat to do his job but the mascot refused to listen to you. Which was frustrating.
You were amazed that the technology in place is far more advanced and the mascots in this Playtime Co. have their own personalities like a real person would which was..... intriguing and at the same time.... terrifying.
According to Dogday, Catnap used to be very friendly but he had been distancing himself from the group recently.
He never knows why.
The supervisor told you that Catnap was the most troublesome in the group and they said to keep an eye on the cat and make sure he does his work and doesn't get in any trouble.
It would take time for you to properly work with him. So, you respect the mascot's boundaries and try interacting with him slowly.
Day by day, you make sure to visit him first every time your shift starts. you greet Catnap with a 'Good morning' and 'How are you doing?'.
The cat only stares at you with a swishing tail, you set down a bag of croissants and look up at the mascot.
"Hey, Catnap! If you're hungry, you can have these croissants! Eat it while it's still fresh, okay bud. You can't work with an empty stomach!"
"......"
Again, he just stares at you.
You also learn that these mascots are able to consume organic matter which again shocks you, so you always sneak in some food from the cafe for all the smiling critters, in secret.
The smiling critters began to like you and saw you as their favourite out of all the employees.
Things go on normally in the daycare, the smiling critters keep themselves busy with the children ( that you weren't allow to interact with )
You spend your time in the office and look through the papers. When you were about to take a sip of the hot drink from your cup—
"Hiya, there! Mrs. (L/n)!"
"Oh, f—k!"
You jump out from your seat and some of the hot drink spilled onto your pants causing you to curse under your breath.
It was Dogday.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"
The dog apologises for startling you and offers you a handkerchief that magically appears out of thin air.
You said you were alright. You turn to ask what makes Dogday come to your office.
The smiling critter just said he wants to see you, saying to you that you have been coup up in your office for hours now.
You were grateful that he was concerned about you but you told him that the papers kept you busy.
"Sorry, bud. I just have a lot of papers to look through. Ya know, I have to keep all of you in shape"
"I see. Thank you for caring and taking care of us angel........unlike the others—anyways!"
Dogday whispers the last part which cannot be heard clearly by you.
"Do you need help with anything? I'm free! I can help you with everything and as a leader of the Smiling Critters, it is also my job to help you too!"
Dogday offers a helping hand, his tail swishing as he awaits for your answers.
You told him you do need help sorting out the papers into the folders which the dog excitedly said yes.
He sits on the floor next to you, since how tall he is. You point out the paper that he needs to sort out in the correct order.
Dogday have trouble picking up the papers with his large hands. You couldn't help but stifle at the sight, yet he managed to find a way of picking up the paper without crumpling it.
After a few hours passed. The bell rings loudly, signalling it was recess time.
You stretch your limbs and stand up from your chair, you turn to Dogday who already finished sorting out all the papers.
"You did a great job there, Dogday. Thank you!"
"Hehe, no problem Mrs. (L/n)! Glad to help!"
"Just call me, (Y/n). Dogday. No need to be so formal and besides I'm not THAT old..."
"Alright, (Y/n)!"
You yawn escape your mouth as you rub your eye, a nice nap is the only thing that comes to your mind after a long hour of paperwork.
Dogday notices how tired you look.
"A good nap will make you feel energetic afterwards!"
"Yeah, it does. I'm going to the staffroom and sleep there. You can go back to the playcare, Dogday"
But the orange dog didn't leave and instead picks you up which surprises you.
Dogday held you close to his body and said.
"No need! You can sleep here with me!"
His arms wrap around your smaller body, your face buried into his chest and his fur smells like vanilla. Which was comforting....
Before you know it, you already drift off to sleep.
"Sleep well, angel...."
Next day.
Following the same routine, you visit Catnap again but the cat was nowhere in sight.
You call out for the feline and you hear a loud thud behind you. Hot breath tickles your back which causes you to quickly turn around to see the purple cat staring at you with beady white eyes.
You hold out an apple pie to him, which the cat takes and devours with a wide open mouth.
"I want....more"
"Huh?"
"More....sweets..."
It was the first time you heard Catnap speak, his voice was deep and distorted.
You now have learned that Catnap likes sweets. Which gives you quite an advantage over him.
"Yes, you can have more sweets.....If you do your job"
You told the cat which he grunts roughly in return.
"You can request any kind of sweets you want in return, I promise. Just as long you do your job as a play care attendant"
Catnap seemingly thinking about the deal that you had offered to him. The sweets seems to get to him since he never gets to eat such food....
It was tempting and he finally agrees with you.
"Okay..."
With that simple okay, Catnap begins to do his job in the play care to Dogday's delight.
After the shift is over, you give Catnap his sweet treats as you promised.
"Haha! See, it wasn't that hard, right! You did a great job there, Catnap! If you keep doing that, I might bake you a cake!"
You praised the feline mascot with a bright smile. Which causes the feline to look away slightly.
The feeling of praise makes his heart flutter with warmth.....
It was a very long day at work and you bid the smiling critters a good night before you leave the playcare.
Unknown to you, some of the higher ups have noticed how well you do with the Smiling Critters.
You are safe....
For now....
A/n : There will be more interaction with Catnap in the next chapter! I am aware that Catnap is Theo which is a child!
I am not sure who resides in Dogday and he might be one of the employees of the playcare since he knows so much.
Relationship between the three would be fluff. If romance, it could be focused on Dogday maybe...?
Well, it's up to you guys.
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lovverletters · 7 months
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👉👈 yandere serial killer...??? Maybe?? Like just this big scary dude with a mask and a big fuck all weapon like a butcher's knife or something and hes so big and scary but he sees his darling as he's just head over heels in love and obssessed and stalks them and makes sure they are safe.
Maybe leaves gifts as a way to try and court his darling even (trial and error style)
So like he leaves maybe a dead animal like a fucking cat cause he's this kinda survival guy and he's trying to provide food but darling is freaked out, so he tries again with something else maybe bones. Doesn't work. Tries to figure out what they like and tries again with their favorite flower or something.
Like he's out of touch with society cause again big serial killer who likely lives out in the woods, kills people who get to close to his home etc so he's really trying to win over his darling who lives closer to the town/city or something.
Just.... I just love big scary man who is so scary and mean but is ONLY nice and soft to his darling and tries to be so gentle, especially if his darling is much smaller than him.
No pressure if you dont wanna do this! Just!!! Giving out some ideas!
♡♡♡
♡Bunny
Yandere! Serial Killer
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A/N : thank you for requesting! I changed a few things if you don't mind💖 this is like an intro for him? I'll write more if people like this dude
T/W : Obsessive behaviour, murder, mentions of dead animal.
«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»
"─yet another body has been discovered near a park at Heartfelt Avenue this morning. The police were alerted to the scene after a man who was walking his dog stumbled upon the deceased body covered with deep cuts that were shaped into a heart. This marks the twelfth victim of the serial killer, 'Lovelorn' that has left communities in fear──"
The news forecaster were cutted off as [Name] switch the television off. Their stomach churned with uneasiness at the reports of the new killing. With the serial killer still on the loose, god knows who'll be next?
It could be them.
It's a terrifying thought but a probable possibility. All of the bodies were found near their place of living, meaning that the killer is not far from their area. Moving away is not a choice for them, they could barely make enough money to stay afloat.
[Name] will have to put up with the murderous maniac's antics until they were caught and placed behind bars.
"Shit── I forgot I have to cover for Stacey today!" They cursed out, hurriedly changing into their horrendous work uniform.
Working a late shift at a cafe wasn't exactly their choice. [Name] usually worked the day shift── stressful but far better than being all alone at night when there's a lunatic who's going around stabbing people. Their coworker Stacey had an emergency today and had practically begged [Name] to cover for her shift as no one would take up on it.
[Name] don't blame them, no one in their right mind would voluntarily throw themselves in a situation where they would ended up in a news headline.
However, adulting is hard and it drains your sanity slowly and [Name] already lost theirs a long time ago. Plus, they really need more money otherwise they'll have to live off cup noodles.
What ever could go wrong? The killer had just slain a person today, they couldn't possibly attempt to do it again could they?
«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»
Everything went wrong.
It had been mind numbingly boring shift, the cafe were deserted at night with only a few people coming in and getting out as soon as they got their drinks.
[Name] were tempted to just sleep through their shift in the break room. Their boss won't care──probably.
"Can't something interesting happens right now? I'm bored out of my mind──" On cue, the lights suddenly begun flickering before shutting off.
Fuck. They're not bored anymore.
[Name] jolted in their place when the main door slammed to a close and their heart stopping momentarily as they saw a figure running towards the backdoor entrance.
They raced towards the exit──there's no way they're going to investigate it! They value their life more than this store they worked at──and try to pry the door open but discovered to their horror that it has been jammed!
Before they could attempt to break the glass door with a steel chair, they heard a noise from their former place behind the counter. [Name] eyes widened in fear at the sight of the figure they'd seen running earlier.
The man was muscular and had a red horned mask on, in his hand was a large butcher knife that serial killers loves wielding. Had their life not being in danger, [Name] would've laughed at how cliché this situation they're in.
"H─hey buddy, that's a nice looking knife you got there" [Name] says as they held onto the steel chair tighter, ready to wield it as a weapon if needed to.
The killer only stalked further in silence, ignoring [Name]'s remarks. He only stopped once they reached a good distance from each other and [Name] were confused, is he fucking with them?
Their confusion only furthers when the killer drops a fucking dead rabbit in front of them. Horrified beyond belief, [Name] looked at the horned masked man who stared at them as if he's waiting for a praise.
"Wh──wha..?" They could only croaked out timidly.
"It's for you" The killer spoke in his deep voice, elaborating no further.
Their eyes almost bulged out of their sockets as he dropped a human heart next to the dead rabbit. [Name] felt their knees weakened as they fell on the ground, disturbed at the sight before them.
Mustering whatever courage they have left within them, they asked the killer that's towering over them.
"Wha──what are these f──for?" Stumbling over their words from how terrified they were.
The killer, holding a flower in his hand──they looked freshly cut from the stem──lowered to their level of ground and spoke in his gravely voice that's strangely laced with a certain gentleness and love.
"M' courting you cause' I love you"
«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»
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gallusrostromegalus · 2 years
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Herschel Has Discovered Tool Use. Again.
In january of 2021, deep in the throes of pandemic psychosis, we acquired a Corgi Puppy.
I would like to go on the record that we did not get a Corgi because they're cute. We got a Corgi because they're criminally brilliant and enthusiastic working dogs that were bred to bully cattle, which is the exact temperment a dog living in a house with three ADHD adults should have. Herschel does commit a lot of crime, but he also does his appinted service-dog job of "make everyone wake up, eat meals and go to bed at a reasonable and consistent time" extremely well, as well as his bonus jobs of "Keep the squirrels the hell out of the garden" and "Yell every time the cat does something". I didn't actually ask him to do that last job but it has helped in the "teach the cat to stay the hell off the stove" area.
But even with having a whole pack of humans another dog, and a cat to manage, this pales in comparison to his genetic capacity to manage several hundred sheep or cattle across the fields of Wales, and thus, Herschel has decided on further intellectual pursuits to occupy himself, namely, speedrunning the early phases of human tool use and terraforming.
I realized he has the brains of an entire hunter-gatherer tribe shortly after he got fixed, and within 24 hours and still dpey from anesthesia, he'd figured out that his plastic cone could be used to monopolize the water bowl and his favorite chew toys, and within a week, had learned how to carry three toys at once while leaving his mouth open by tucking the toys behind his enormous ears and under his chin. He also figured out that he could wiggle the cone to rest against his shoulders, and started using it as a shovel by literally running the bottom edge into the ground. But that wasn't making holes effeicently enough, apparently, and I ended up watching him figure out how to rotate the cone around so the two pieces of overlapping plastic were under his chin, then use his chin and the stairs to the deck to pinch both ends into a much more efficient V-Shape that let him gouge huge strips of dirt up in seconds. The anthropologists and animal behaviorists in the audience may recognize this as Tool Creation, a behavior normally only seen in higher primates, crows, and some parrots. Once a hole of suitable length, depth and temperature had been achieved, he very carefully rolled the cone around so the digging side was over his head and the smooth side under his chin, and splooted into his hole to cool his little tummy and stitches off. It was at that point that I realized that I was going to have to teach him how to garden, or he was going to teach himself.
He no longer has the cone (He was beginning to experiment with it as a battering ram), but his morning ritual is now "Wake everyone up at 8AM by screaming, locate everyone in house and jam my nose up theirs to make sure they're alive, go outside and scream at the squirrels. Now that Yard is Secure, go get Fun Parent who has hopefully taken their meds by now, and supervise them while they rifle through the plants (this is apparently KEY to their mental health), eating any pest animals Fun Parent points out, chase squirrel AGAIN, go inside and get Breakfast cookie." and BY GOD if we deviate from it there will be much screaming and destruction. If I am not home, it has been reported that he walks round the garden beds and sniffs the plants in the order I usually check them in before he will agree to come in. He doesn't quite know what the deal with the melons is, just that they need to be checked.
But we're out of the labor-intensive parts of gardening and now into Harvesting Season, and this is a bit boring except when I give him snap peas right off the vine, and he has decided to work on the complex physics problem that is Doorknobs.
And last week, he had a breakthrough.
Sometime in 2020, my mom sort-of taught her horrible crime herding dog Arwen how to open the back door so she could let herself out as she pleased during the day and stop interrupting Mom's Zoom calls. Arwen is a Kelpie, which means she's about 60lbs with full-length legs and horrible monkey paws that are one joint away from being hands, so when Arwen wants to open the back door, she sits up, leans on the door for purchase/to push it, and uses her terrible crime hands to *push* on the knob until it turns. She can pull the knob open by pawing and catching it on her toes, but she's 11-13 years old now and has mild arthritis, so she prefers to catch it on her central pad instead. She taught Charlie, the other equally brilliant but less criminally inclined dog, to do this but he doesn't like to go outside alone, so he rarely does this.
Herschel, ever the observant student, immediately tried copying them, but even though he is actually tall enough to reach the knob, his toes are just too stubby to get a decent grip on the knob, pushing or pulling, and the first few times, gave up and sat down to scream until one of the fullsize dogs or humans came to open the door for him.
Last week, we were up at my parent's again, and I watched him hunt around the living room until he found his slightly-sticky orange rubber ball (It's clean, it's just a kind of rubber that's always a bit tacky), carry it across the house, stand up on his hind legs at the back door, put the rubber ball on top of the gap between the knob and the wall, and then push down on the ball, which caught the doorknob and turned it for him, thus opening the door. He let himself out, had a merry time yelling at the squirrels, came back in, stopped a few feet inside the door, went back out, grabbed his ball, and brought it back into his kennel, a place he can leave toys if he doesn't want the other dogs playing with them.
This means he somehow worked out how doorknobs work, how fucking levers work, and that his orange rubber ball specifically was the one that would work (none of his other toys are the correct size/texture), that he'd need that ball specifically to open the door again, and yesterday he did the same trick with the bedroom door, so he knows that the rubber ball/skeleton key can be used on all doorknobs, not just that one.
I wonder if I can teach him to sweep.
___
If you want to fund Herschel's research into Tool Use and/or get me therapy for the ensuing chaos, please feel free to donate to my Ko-Fi, or get further Dog Content by subscribing to my Patreon.
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Got chewby a new tug and some Christmas dog biscuits that look like donuts (we have mini donuts a lot but they usually have chocolate on them so we can't share with her so I thought it would be fun to get donuts that she CAN have)
And got harely a couple new toys. There's this springy toy that I thought she would like but it makes a squeaky sound when it moves (which I did not realize when I bought it) and shes a little afraid of it. And a rubbery ball with feathers on the ends that I didn't know if she would like but so far its her favorite. AND I found these cat treats that look and feel like chocolate that are made of beef fat and ive had to hide them from her cuz she was trying to tear open the box to get more.
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shotmrmiller · 4 months
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What if the boys were out at a pub, and they started getting maudlin over the fact that they return to an empty home, but not John Price.
"I've got myself a cat."
Johnny's a dog man, so the only thing he says is, "Ach. That's a choice, sir."
Kyle's only logical thought is, "How do you even manage to keep it fed?"
John pauses to take a swig of his beer, "She's a very independent kitten. There's plenty of food around for her to eat."
Simon, though. Simon's a cat man, through and through. And he's noticed how John doesn't gush about it like others do. Doesn't bring up the breed, where he got her, nothing— but he keeps quiet until it's last call at the bar. Johnny and Kyle get up, say their goodbyes, and leave but Simon stays behind with John.
"Hey, boss. You gotta picture of tha' cat?" The smile John gives him is risqué, all but confirming Simon's suspicions.
"Sure." John pulls out his phone, searches through his photo album and shows Simon his cat. A woman wearing a fluffy cat ear headband, a thin, delicate collar with what looks like a bell. Pet play, Simon thinks, John bloody Price is into pet play.
"She's very cute, sir."
"Don't I know it. Come over for a nightcap? You can meet her," John softly chuckles under his breath, "She'll well trained. Doesn't scratch nor hiss. Not unless you pull on her tail."
Simon clenches his jaw to stop himself from releasing a groan. A tail.
Taking in a deep breath, he agrees with a slow tip of his head. "Yes, sir, I would."
John gives him a hearty pat on his back, and jerks his head towards the door. "C'mon then, let's not keep her waiting."
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Simon has no idea how to react. He doesn't want to overstep, but goddamn if you aren't the cutest thing he's ever seen. Your face is so soft, fragile, lovely— in his rough, worn palm as you nuzzle it.
John is quietly observing you two, sipping on his favourite whiskey. He must pick up on Simon's hesitance because he instructs, "Go on, Simon. Give her tail a tug."
Simon stiffens, but you're already turning around, shapely rump facing him. Your back is arched and face resting on the floor— this view gets Simon's cold, bitter heart racing. He thickly swallows, because there's no way he isn't dreaming this. But then, you wiggle your hips and whatever inhibitions he had disappeared.
He extends his arm and runs his hand from where your tail is inserted down to the tip, and then twists it once around his thick fingers and tugs just a bit, enough for him to see your ring of muscle expand.
The sound that escapes your lips is a sharp sibilant hiss, and you audibly drag your nails on the fibers of the carpet which makes Simon huff out a laugh. "You were right, sir."
John's eyes that were locked onto your form flick up to look at Simon. "Hm? About what?"
"That she only hisses and scratches when you pull her tail."
John simply smirks. "Kitten," you languidly crane your neck to look at him, "get on Simon's lap, eh?"
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i dont do pet play but id fucking meow or bark at him if he so much as thought it. borf borf.
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crushmeeren · 5 months
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Levi/Fem Reader SFW & NSFW Headcannons
Warnings; making out, pussy eating, some dirty talk, vaginal sex, light choking, hickies, doggy style, squirting, Levi paints your back
Note; please do enjoy this brain food, I love Levi & I’m emotionally scarred about the AOT ending so yeah
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Levi who has the most black cat esq energy you’ve ever seen, who is the king of not giving a single fuck, who is brutally blunt, with a tongue sharper than a knife—but who has the strongest will, who has a kind heart (he just has a hard time expressing it), who loves fiercely & with every fiber of his being
Levi who feels most at home when he can relax in a dark room & listen to his favorite podcast or watch his favorite shows, who finds it calming & a source of comfort, who thrives during the nighttime, (you’ve definitely come home during the middle of the day only to have the shit scared out of you when you find Levi just sitting in your completely dark bedroom)
Levi who owns an all black, large fluffly dog who he has affectionately named Beartooth—who has no idea what breed his dog is, he just showed up at his house and never left (Levi complained at first but you know it’s a lie because you always find them napping together—very much two peas in a pod)
Levi who you met when you were attending a rock concert, who is the head of security for a very large, very popular concert venue, who was actually working the barricade because “one of his fucking shitheads called in”—lucky for you because you ended up giving him your number & he actually fucking texted you
Levi who legitimately looks like he was carved out of stone, who is so so fucking hot, who winks at you whenever he catches you staring at him (which is often—but who could blame you? The man’s a god), whose side profile is so unfairly pretty you can’t stand it
Levi who adores rainy days, especially when it’s cold, who lives for these types of afternoons when he can relax with you, drinking hot coffee and having movie marathons —whether it’s in the couch or in your shared bed
Levi who has an absent minded habit of fiddling with your fingers no matter where you are, who softly traces the lengths of each one—paying special attention to the bumps of your knuckles, who places your hand in his lap and draws shapes & words you can sometimes decipher on your palm (you have to pull away once it’s starts to tickle too much—but never for long)
Levi who lives in black clothing (seriously you aren’t sure you’ve ever come across an article of his clothing that isn’t black), who says it’s his favorite color, who really enjoys wearing Doc Martens (he says he likes the aesthetic)
Levi who has a gorgeous sleeve decorating his right arm, who has multiple tattoos all over his chest, his back, his legs—even a spine tattoo, which you almost drool seeing for the first time (you feel smug that you’re the only one that’s granted permission to see all the hidden ones—especially the spine art, it makes your knees weak)
Levi who can be as cold as ice, a jackass to everyone—always having a snarky remark on the tip of his tongue, but—not with you, he talks to you as if you’re the center of his world, looking at you like you hung the stars (not to say he doesn’t still call you an idiot—although it’s said fondly)
Levi who is unnervingly smart, who always seems to be one step ahead, who seems like he can tell the future — it genuinely gives you chills
Levi who secretly has the warmest smile, who graces you with it the most when you’re at home together, who gives you butterflies everytime it’s directed at you
Levi who loves you so deeply you never doubt for a second how he feels, who supports you in everything you do, who is the quiet, most consistent rock in your life, who is your best friend & who you spend the rest of your life with blissfully
NSFW BELOW
Levi who doesn’t have the highest sex drive, but when he is in the mood—you get fucked so much in one night you swear your pussy is swollen & you won’t be able to walk the next day
Levi who will get instantly hard—cock full, hot & heavy against his thigh whenever he sees you come out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, who groans when he smells your sweet smelling soap, who shoves his face into your neck & inhales deeply—loving the feel of your slightly damp & warm skin (he gets turned on knowing you’re squeaky clean)
Levi who will spread you out on the bed, unwrapping your towel like you’re the best present he’s ever received, who grips your tits & pinches your nipples, soft lips pressed firmly against yours as he licks into your mouth—trying to eat you whole
Levi who is possessive, who loves to sink his teeth into your neck, your tits, the sensitive inner skin of your thighs, who leaves dark marks in the shape of a twisted necklace on your collarbone—biting & sucking until your pussy is drooling for him & your gripping his hair so tight it makes his scalp tingle with pain (which he fucking loves)
Levi who takes it upon himself to push your thighs so far towards your chest that your hips lift off the mattress as he kitten licks at your clit before wrapping his lips around it, sucking gently while he flicks his tongue mercilessly—intent on making you cum
Levi who eats pussy like a champ so it doesn’t take you long until your thighs are twitching under his grip, who lets you relax back onto the bed as he slips his middle two fingers into your pussy so you have something to clench around as you cum when he swirls his tongue around your clit—who makes you cum so hard it feels like warm syrup is gushing through your limbs over & over until you can’t take it
Levi who pulls away, chin glistening, lips swollen & cherry red, who whispers pussy tastes so good, love when you cum on my fingers sweet girl, you make me feel like a king—as he gets on his knees between your legs—too eager for anymore foreplay, who just wants to get inside you so badly his cock aches
Levi who doesn’t meet any resistance at all when he presses the tip of his cock inside you, you’re so slick that he bottoms out accidentally all at once—making a violent shiver travel down his spine, whose mouth falls open slightly as his eyebrows scrunch from the pleasure—who doesn’t hold back
Levi who doesn’t necessarily talk or make too much noise in bed, but does make your head spin whenever he does speak, who wastes no time gripping your leg and hooking your knee over his shoulder, who leans his weight onto your leg, bending you in half & wraps a hand around your throat as he starts a slow, toe-curling pace—shifting his hips upwards on each thrust to nail your sweet spot
Levi who makes you cum at least three times like that so easily it’s pathetic, who lets out a throaty moans when you squeeze his cock just right, murmuring lowly in your face my cock feels so good doesn’t it princess? It’s all yours, who feels your back arch up into his movements, neck straining pleasantly in his hold—making your head fuzzy with pleasure
Levi who starts to feel desperate, who starts to lose his cool & collected composure, wanting to cum so badly, who flips your over & raises your ass in the air, shoving your face into the sheets & starts to fuck you like he might die if he doesn’t cum right this second, who pushes down on your lower back making you howl because ultimately he’s fucking you like a dog
Levi who doesn’t say he’s gonna cum but you can tell he’s getting close because of the hitches in his breathing, who forces one more orgasm out of you before he cums, making you clench so tight that you start to squirt as he pulls out, who fists his cock and paints your back white while letting out a high pitched, whiny moan as he does so—a noise that is eternally burned into your brain
Levi who makes your limbs feel like jelly, who lets you both return to earth before he forces you up, changing the sheets & guiding you into the shower because there’s no fucking way I’m letting you get the sheets nasty again (he washes your body with the most gentle touch, like the secret giant softie he is)
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formulapai · 3 months
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YOU’RE PURR-FECT FOR ME !
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scenario: how some of the grid would deal with a cat-obsessed lover
warnings: cat scratches, blood due to scratches, biting, overall just kitty shenanigans
pai’s words: grew up surrounded by cats (and even now, meet Sushi my kitty baby and her VERY BIG FANGS in the first pic !) (she has a teeth condition so her fangs just grow and grow and we have to take her to the vet so they can trim them sksksksk still lives a wonderful life don’t worry) so i have a particular spot in my heart for them 🫶
MAX🍊
- CAT DAD
- jimmy and sassy are his little menaces and he never shuts up about them
- is very fond of all the cat memes you send him and saves them
- rolls his eyes when you nag at him for punishing the cats, even when they did something they definitely should get punished for (aka just max pointing an accusatory at them and slightly raising his voice)
- wheezed the first time you proposed a cats play date but soon realized you were serious and stopped
- knows he can always count on you to watch over his two menaces when he’s away and always makes sure to thank you profusely
- does the same for you when you’re away and sends you pictures and videos of your cats all day long, even FaceTiming you to show you the damages they decided to do to his apartment
- once you live together he has to physically stop you buying every cute cat furniture you see. no, you don’t need yet another litter box just because this one’s yellow with little flowers. no, your cat’s life won’t be drastically better if their food bowls are heart-shaped.
- in the end, he gives in and drives you to the store because he can’t resist you and your love for cats
ESTEBAN🍊
- sends you random cats pictures and caption them with “us ☺️”
- he sees a cat keychain while traveling? he buys it for you. a shirt with paw prints on it ? he buys it too. a box of cookies with the picture of a cat on it ? yeah, it’s going in his luggage too.
- brings treats for your kitties when he visits you and tells you about the searches he did before buying them
- responsible cat dad in law
- smiles SO BRIGHT when you send him videos of the little monsters before his races, it really pumps him up
- is the one sending you shopping ideas for cat furniture and gladly takes you to the store or orders for you
- posts them all over his social medias
- one time, one of your cats bit him pretty deep in the calf and he spent ten minutes trying to free his leg from the murder fangs
- never told you about it because 1) his pride suffered because of the fact that a CAT defeated him 2) he cares about Mr.Chonk and doesn’t want you punishing him
PIERRE🍊
- said many times that he much prefers dogs but deep down, he loves the balls of fur
- annoys them all the time and complains when his arms look like scratching posts
- gives them the dumbest nicknames and laughs his ass off when you complain about it
- the first thing he buys when he goes grocery shopping before coming to your place is cat food, so much that you have cupboards full of it but don’t have the heart to tell him as you know it’s his way of taking care of them
- your cats adore him when he’s not being a pain in their backside
- locks them out of the bedroom and makes fun of you for giving in and letting them inside after they meowed on the other side of the door
- scolds them like he’d scold kids and tells them off about their attitude when he notices their ears going on airplane mode, scolds you too when you take their side and coo at them
- sends you tiktoks about cat clothes and orders it because he knows the cats are going to hate it
- movie night turns into him cuddling “his babies” and leaving you sitting on the floor
OSCAR🍊
- grew up with dogs but is a cat person deep down
- snorts when you send him pics of your cats next to pics of him, or the “polite cat Oscar” memes you find on twitter
- never carries them in his arms because he knows they’ll gnaw on him so whenever he has to lift them off the kitchen counter, he puts his hands behind their front legs and lifts them “Simba-in-lion-king style” which has you wheezing
- sighs when he sees that you bought new cat trinkets
- he lets you change his phone screens and widgets to cat pictures and memes because you were bored and already did yours
- complains when you show him the matching pjs you bought with paw prints all over but you catch him wearing them in a FaceTime call
- you once played with your monsters and ended up with little drips of blood all over from scratches and bite marks (accidental, the monsters can get quite into the games) and he panicked
- you heard him scolding the cats after he cleaned you up and took a video of it. you still teases him about it sometimes
LANDO🍊
- is a dog person but also loves your hairy ankle biters
- asks max about how to woo your cats. max just makes fun of him and leaves him to suffer like a real bestie.
- whenever he opens your front door, he knows he has 0.2 seconds to enter and close it before they come running and try to get out. he once let them out and had to run after them in your building stairs
- loves to come up to them when they’re sleeping and pinch their belly to annoy them
- sends you pics of everything cat-related he sees when he travels, as well as pics of real cats
- his jpg account is filled with his little family (you and your cats) and their crimes (the bite marks adorning his legs and you laughing in the background)
- when you move together, the cats know exactly when he starts streaming and run to the room he’s in, causing ruckus and showing the viewers just how little power Lando has over the cuties
- he closes the door once but immediately opens it when he hears a loud thud, one of the cats running straight into the door because it’s never ever closed. the video of him crying in laughter on the floor as the kitty meows in annoyance gets all over social medias and everyone teases him about being a bad cat dad
- takes the tiny menace in his arms when he’s finally able to stop sobbing and shows everyone they’re fine
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urrockstar-xe · 3 months
Text
3 teen boys vs 1 pretty girl - j.m x fem!reader
posted feb 10th, 2024 10:24 pm
heres another belated v day post!! :D im working my way up guys look at me go, im running out of valentine themed songs though if you have recs and see this before the 14th pls send them to me!!
summary: John B and Pope have to help out JJ when he's under too much stress over a pretty girl, not proofread, use of Y/n.
masterlist
wordcount: 1.0k
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JJ wasn’t one for romantics, never was, never will be. He’s never witnessed real romance outside of TV shows and movies, although now that he has, with his best friend falling in love, JJ still just didn’t quite get it.
Until he met You, of course, because every sweet, enchanting, and cheesy love story has to start with the player meeting the one.
The one that broke down every little wall with a soft smile and pretty eyes. The one who saves everything while simultaneously ruining it all. 
At least in JJ’s eyes. 
“Dude, just admit you like her” Pope’s words went in one ear and out the other as JJ groaned into the old pillow, dramatically falling onto John B’s couch. “I think he did, just not in a comprehensible way” John B chuckled, shoving JJ’s feet off of his lap.
JJ groaned once more before shifting positions and sitting up on the opposite end of JB. “I don’t know what it is, man. She comes in, introduces herself with a pretty little voice, batting her pretty little eyelashes, smiling a pretty little smile on her pretty little face.” JJ’s voice was laced with irritation, his friends just laughed in response. 
“I think JJ thinks Y/n is pretty, Pope.” “No way, really?” Another round of laughter between the two boys made JJ scoff before chuckling a bit as well, he rubbed at his eyes. 
JJ’s laughter ended with a sigh, “She’s makin’ me crazy.” John B smiled at his friend, nudging his shoulder. “They have that effect huh?” JB remarked, sharing a knowing look with Pope before Pope pulled JJ up off the couch.
“What am I gonna do? I mean, I gotta really wow this girl, man I mean, she’s perfect” JJ gushed as he stared back at his friend who merely smiled back and shook his head. “Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, why don’t you go work that out with John B and I’ll continue studying.” Pope proposed the idea as JB stood up, patting JJ on the back before nearly dragging him out of the chateau by the back of his hoodie. 
“C’mon, we’re gonna make sure you get your girl by tomorrow night”
JJ and John B loaded up into the Twinkie, heading straight for the closest convenience store. JB distracted his lovelorn friend with loud music that the two teenage boys happily and obnoxiously sang along to. Once they finally pulled up to the store and went inside, John B led JJ to the aisle filled with red and pink colored cardboard, and heart-shaped candies.
“Dude, I don’t even know what kind of candy she likes,” JJ sighed, both boys scanning the wall of options. “This is gonna be harder than I thought.” John B mumbled. 
“It’s all just one big guessing game-” John B got cut off by the store clerk noticing them. 
“Maybank, I better not catch you stealin’ nothin'.” His gruffy booming voice caught their attention, heads turning towards the sound in sync. “Course not, Mr. Wade!” JJ waved, a small smile on his lips as the clerk shook his head and went back to his initial goal, leaving them alone once more. 
JJ watched as John B grabbed one of the blue baskets and started throwing random candy boxes into it. “What are you doing?” JJ furrowed his eyebrows. “She’s gotta like at least one of these, let’s just buy it all” John B shrugged, handing the basket to JJ who turned his attention towards the box full of small stuffed animals. 
JJ picked up a small cat before looking at the little dog holding a love heart. “Do you think she’s more of a dog person or a cat person?” “Which one do you want her to be?” 
JJ abandoned the cat and threw the dog in the basket, just as John B grabbed a pink bag covered in white hearts and threw it on top of their Valentine's treasures. 
“This should be enough right?” John B asked, earning a slightly concerned look from JJ. 
“Aren’t you supposed to be the professional here? I’m just the student!” JJ followed him to the counter and helped throw everything in front of Mr. Wade. 
“JJ, I don’t think people see either of us and think of the word professional.” and of course, he couldn’t argue with that.
JJ was left to his own devices the rest of the night, John B had a date with Sarah. 
He did his best at setting up the bag of goodies, before deciding it was good enough because nothing would be as perfect as you no matter how much he tried. 
Finally, Wednesday had come and right around the time you made it outside of your school building you were met with the sight of the Twinkie, eyes watching it as you laughed at something one of your friends said. You said your goodbyes before making your way to the old van just as JJ Maybank came out of the driver’s side and leaned on the passenger’s door. 
“Thought you dropped out, JJ.” You smiled at the blond, who happily mirrored you as he approached him. “You know, gotta come back every once in a while, see how the place is holdin’ up without me.” He shrugged, earning a chuckle from you.
JJ cleared his throat, standing up straight. “I wanted to surprise you. Ask you to be my Valentine.” Your smile got softer, that sweet look on your face almost making JJ chicken out but now he was too deep in. 
“So ask me,” you said softly, after a moment of waiting for him to continue. JJ laughed, shaking his head. “Right, yeah, sorry. Will you be my Valentine, pretty lady?” His voice was quieter than you were used to hearing, you couldn’t help but cover your face as you felt heat spread across your cheeks. JJ chuckled at your reaction before leaning forward just enough to remove your hands from your face. 
“Whadya say?” You smiled at him as he held onto your hands, whispering now that you were so close. “I’ll be your Valentine any day of the week, J.” He smiled back, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before letting go of your hands and opening the passenger door, revealing the very same bag that was currently overflowing. 
“Awh, babe.” You smiled at the sight, picking up the little dog plush. 
“Hope you’re a dog person,” He said, grabbing the bag’s handles so you could get in the van. 
“And that you have a severe sweet tooth.” 
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awfcspencer · 4 months
Text
Puppy Love || alexia putellas x reader
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alexia putellas x reader
prompt: you and Alexia adopt a puppy.
warnings: none, straight full fluff
a/n: pretend nala just doesn’t exist sorry!
You and Alexia had been going back and forth about getting a puppy. Alexia insisted that you two were far to busy to properly attend to its needs but you were adamant that you would make plenty of time. You were trying to psychologically convince Alexia by frequently sending her puppy pictures while she was at training or making sure to take her down the pet isle in the store and point out adorable toys. But alas, your efforts were unsuccessful.
You had eventually let the subject go, falling into the busier part of your work schedule and Alexia’s match schedule. On Alexia’s way home from training one day, she fell upon a local pet shelter that she had never seen before and was immediately reminded of your grave yearn for a puppy. Pulling into the parking lot, Alexia convinced herself that she was simply just looking, and in no way shape or form was she purchasing a puppy. She simply just wanted to browse the selection.
After walking in, Alexia walked up and down the hallway, looking at the dogs and cats. One special puppy at the end of the hall caught her eye. She almost didn’t even see the puppy as he was sheltered off from the other animals. It was a brown little boy lab that had three legs, but when he saw Alexia, he met her hand at the cage and wagged his little tail, licking her hand energetically.
To say Alexia was obsessed immediately would be an understatement. His big brown eyes captured her heart, especially when she looked at the little infographic that informed her that if he was not adopted soon, he would be put down. In that moment, she knew she was in fact leaving the shelter with a puppy. She couldn’t let someone put him down. His skin was soft and he seemed very personable, he even had good balance although he was missing a leg.
Informing the vet tech she wanted the lab, she was later walking out the shelter with a puppy, picking up a few items like puppy pads and a brand new collar for him. The vet even tried to talk her out of it, informing her that they had ‘normal’ puppies, but she wanted the brown lab, he was utterly perfect to her. She was his saving grace.
What just happened to Alexia did not hit her until she was pulling into the driveway. The little puppy had yet to stop smiling and wagging his tail, falling into Alexia’s lap as she drove and eventually fell asleep. Alexia had just adopted a puppy, even after she told herself she wouldn’t. Now she had to figure out how she was going to explain this to you. The small puppy fit in her training bag, so she carefully set him in and made her way into the home.
“Amor?” she called out, making sure to be careful with bag.
“In the kitchen babe!” you replied as you were working on finishing up dinner, hearing her just enter the home.
Walking into the kitchen, Alexia put her kit bag behind her back to hide the major item she picked up on her way home. She walks up to you and brings you in for a soft kiss and hug.
“I missed you baby.” you say as you return the hug and kiss. Holding Alexia in your arms you thought your mind was playing tricks on you when you heard a small little bark.
“Alexia? Did you just… bark?” you asked, incredibly confused and curious.
“Oh um….yeah I did.” Alexia replied, not knowing how to break the ice that there was a full blown brown lab currently in her bag, probably chewing on her kit and boots as they speak.
Another bark was let out, and it was in fact coming from behind Alexia. Alexia was beat red, she knew her luck had ran out and you definitely knew it wasn’t her letting out the barks. Alexia brings her bag to her front and sets in on top of the kitchen counter as a small 3-legged puppy crawls out, still energetic and playful.
“ALE YOU BOUGHT A PUPPY!” you scream out, immediately pulling the small dog into your arms, gently petting him as he licks your arm. Overjoyed and happy you set him on the floor and begin to rub his soft belly. He stumbles getting up, falling down a few times but each time he perseveres and gets back up. He quickly runs around your shared home, sniffing everything out.
“Alexia Putellas how on earth did you leave for training without a puppy but return with one?” you question. Just imagining what situation Alexia could have possibly gotten into on her way home.
“On my way home I noticed there was a shelter, and I promise you Y/N I was just looking and I swore I was not leaving with a single animal, but I saw him all alone in the back and it said he was going to be put down if no one adopted him, so I had too. I mean look at him.” Alexia states, trying to convince you with his sweet puppy eyes as she picks him up off the floor. Now the two of them were sending you puppy eyes.
“I mean he is so cute.” you say as you gently give his head a few scratches. “What are we going to name him?” you ask. You are just secretly happy that you now have a puppy after months of waiting and begging for one. You already had a cart full online of puppy treats, toys, and outfit’s waiting for this day to come.
Alexia sets down the little lab and begins to ponder on what the perfect name for him would be as she begins to get her plate ready to eat dinner.
Right before Alexia is about to sit down you say, “Hey babe, while you think of name, he did just pee on the floor and because you did this behind my back, I would say you have puppy duty first.” you say as you laugh, handing her a few towels.
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unreliablesnake · 4 months
Text
Play stupid games... (Simon Riley x reader)
Summary: Simon agrees to pose as your boyfriend for the holidays. Since he has been in love with you for years, it turns out to be quite a bad decision.
Note: It took me a long time. But it's here now. Happy new year!
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Simon had known you for almost three years now, spending most of this time thinking about asking you out. But he never did it. Why would you agree to be with him when he usually disappeared for months all of a sudden because of his job? Since he didn’t want to risk losing you for good, he decided to keep his feelings to himself, silently suffering every time you cried on his shoulder after a breakup, or when you couldn't shut up about your new boyfriend.
But then one day, maybe a week before Christmas, you stood there in front of his door with this big, Cheshire cat smile on your face, hands folded behind your back as you watched him. “Can I come in?” you chimed, and how could he say no to that?
Little did he know you would come up with a plan so risky he would for the very first time consider saying no to you. He didn't like the idea, not one bit, mostly because he didn't feel like lying to your family. A family that probably didn't even know he existed.
“Come on, Simon, I never ask for anything,” you tried with a sweet smile.
He knew you were right. You never even asked him to come and fix something around your place, or to give you a ride after a long night out with your friends. This was, after all, nothing more but a small favor, a little lie he would have to keep up until the holidays were over.
“If I agree to do this,” he began slowly, not missing the hopeful shine in your eyes, “you will have to lie to your parents and other relatives, telling them we've been together for months. Are you sure you're ready for it?”
You inched closer on the couch, a delicate hand resting on his knee as you looked him in the eye. “Look, they usually hate the guys I invite, but they keep asking why I'm single if I arrive alone. I just know they wouldn't dare to pick a fight with you. Scary dog privilege and all.”
With a sigh, Simon leaned his head on the back of the couch as he looked up at the ceiling. He always wanted to know what it would be like to be with you. What it would be like to hold your hand, to have you snuggled up to him on the couch, or to kiss you. This plan of yours gave him the perfect chance to experience all of these during the holidays.
And so a few days later the two of you were standing in front of the door of your parents' house, hand in hand, of course, because who would think he was a simple friend when your fingers were laced with his so tightly. He didn't mind; no, he actually liked it a lot. It was good for the both of you, making you calmer and more focused on this night ahead.
“Oh, look at that, you made it on time this year! I’m so happy to have you here. Come on in, you two,” an older woman said with a bright smile as she clapped her hands excitedly.
She was acting as if she was in her twenties, dressing in clothes which gave away that she wasn’t exactly in a good shape. But Simon bit his tongue before he could say anything offensive, staying silent even when you made a barely noticeable comment regarding her choice of clothing. Was she really that dumb? That woman kept talking as if you’d said nothing; she was either too stupid to pick up on your words, or decided to completely ignore them.
“Your parents are in the kitchen, helping David with the dinner. I wouldn’t advise you to go there, you know what David’s like when he cooks. But your cousin Allistair has been looking for you.”
And with that she turned around and walked away, not even bothering to excuse herself. Simon raised an eyebrow as he glanced down at you. “Am I invisible?” he asked half-jokingly, the corners of his lips turning upwards when you put your free hand on his chest. He wondered if you could feel how his heart was racing at that moment from your touch.
You let out a sigh as you looked around, searching the rooms you could see from the bottom of the stairs. “Don’t mind her, she thinks all of my relationships are doomed. You’re just a random guy I brought with myself in her eyes,” you explained once you turned back to him.
“At the end of the day that’s all I am,” he noted quietly. You asked him what he said, but Simon just shook his head without repeating the sentence.
Allistair turned out to be a pretty cool guy. He was Scottish, cocky, and funny, which reminded him of Johnny. Unlike your aunt, he actually greeted him, asking about him before starting a long speech full of embarrassing stories from your youth. Simon was grateful and he didn’t even feel like moving on and meeting other members of your family.
But when one particular story came up, you were quick to interrupt him and drag Simon away from your cousin. “I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t hear that one. Let me introduce you to my parents.”
The parents. Great. Apparently you had been planning this for months, telling your parents stories about your tough military boyfriend they couldn’t meet because he was often away. You knew perfectly well he would agree, and this made him wonder if he was too naive for his own good. You were playing him like a violin and he shouldn’t be like this, acting like some stupid, lovesick teenager.
All of his worry disappeared when you took his hand, though. “What are you doing to me?” he muttered quietly to himself.
You came to a halt and turned to him. “What?”
“Nothing.”
After a nod, you continued your journey to the kitchen, dragging him along through the empty hallway. When you reached your destination, you immediately flashed a wide smile at the people inside before going closer to greet them properly. Simon found it awkward to just stand there and wait. The last time he had been introduced to parents and relatives was in his teenage years a long time ago. He was out of practice.
You returned to him soon and put your hands on his upper arm. “Mom, Dad, David, he’s Simon, my boyfriend,” you said as you grinned up at him.
Simon’s heart melted at the sight. He wished he could kiss your pretty lips, but he didn’t want to push his luck. Your mother gave him a warm smile before quickly washing her hands and walking over to see him from up close. For a few seconds she was just silently studying his face, and then she put a hand on your shoulder as she gave you a serious look.
“He’s really handsome, honey, good choice. And a military man! I’m sure he can keep you safe.”
She then introduced herself and the others, the men even came over to shake his hand. Simon talked to all three, answering a series of questions about his relationship with you. He didn’t mind since the two of you had previously fabricated nice little stories to tell your family.
Once they returned their attention to the dinner they had left unattended for a short while, you took his hand again before pulling his head down with the other to kiss him. It was just for show, he knew it, but it still felt so real, so good, and he was on cloud nine. Maybe he was just imagining things, but he could have sworn you were smiling up at him like a satisfied cat once he pulled away.
The rest of the evening was a walk in the park after meeting your parents and convincing them you were dating for real. Simon often took your hand, drawing circles into your skin absentmindedly as he had a conversation with a relative of yours. They seemed to like him, although there was a little girl who always ran back to her parents when he came too close to her.
After the guests began to leave, you announced your departure as well, and Simon took you home like a good boyfriend. You gave him a kiss on the cheek next to the car when you got there, then said goodbye and headed to the building. But he couldn’t just let you go like that, he had made up his mind during the evening that he would finally tell you how he felt.
“Wait,” he said as he went after you. You stopped and turned around with a questioning hum, but instead of giving you a verbal answer, he started with a proper kiss. You seemed surprised at first, but then you returned it for his relief. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, you know,” he said when he pulled back.
“Oh.”
That was all you said. He didn’t expect you to say it back, but he still expected you to say something more than this. Yes, it was probably a lot to take in, but you could have said you needed time to think about it, that it took you by surprise and you weren’t sure you knew what you wanted. But no. That was all he got.
“I should go,” you said with a gulp before going inside, twisting the knife in his heart with this reaction.
Weeks passed without him hearing from you. During that time he had to go back to base, and becoming Ghost once again took his mind off you. There he was a soldier, not Simon. He couldn’t let his emotions make him unfocused. But despite his best efforts, Price noticed that something was different. That something was off about his lieutenant.
So one evening he summoned Simon, officially to talk about a situation on the other side of the planet, unofficially to find out what was wrong with him. “Can I offer you a drink?” Price asked him when he sat down. When the lieutenant shook his head, he let out a sigh and sat down behind the desk. “I consider you a friend, Simon. I hope you know you can always talk to me.”
A groan left his throat upon hearing this. Price knew Simon, but here he was Ghost. He had to be Ghost, otherwise he would go insane. Because every night when he was left alone with his thoughts, he found himself staring at the screen of his phone, thinking about you. Should he call you? Should he send you a message?
“You don't have to, but it might help,” Price pressed on, but he only raised a hand and shook his head. “Listen, I know your head is here with us. I appreciate that. But you need to talk to someone. Is this about your family? The anniversary of what happened to them?”
Shaking his head again, the lieutenant leaned back in the chair. “It's not about my family, I made peace with that. Sort of. As cliche as it sounds, it's about a woman. I don't know what to do.”
Price lit a cigar as he watched him. They weren't that far apart in age, and he had a feeling the captain considered him a friend at the end of the day. It wasn't unusual for the two of them to go out for a drink between missions, discussing quite a lot of things, including each other's private life. While he didn't have much to say, his superior talked a lot about his family and women he was chasing.
“Tell me. What happened?”
“I kissed her and she stopped talking to me,” he said, opting to give the short answer to the captain. He sent a disapproving look in his way, clearly expecting a little more than that. After a gulp, he went on. “All right. So she asked me to pose as her boyfriend for the holidays. I agreed because I’m a fucking idiot who had been in love with her ever since we met. After we spent the evening with her family, I took her home and kissed her. I tried to call her, but she ignored me. I think she's mad.”
“You shouldn't have done that,” Price told him calmly. Simon was a little confused, and no matter how hard he thought, he couldn't figure out what he meant. Probably seeing the look on his face, the captain let out a sigh, blowing out some smoke. “Playing her boyfriend. You shouldn't have done that if you love her. It just makes you more desperate.”
Simon nodded. “You're right.”
“Well… Maybe she just needs time. But I don't know her, so,” he said, finishing the sentence with a shrug. “Gaz tells me a lot about his issues with women, but I swear he handles it better than you do.”
“Thanks. That helps a lot,” the lieutenant said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Why don't I ever hear about your issues? It's always so easy for you based on your stories.”
“What can I say? I'm good at charming the ladies,” Price replied, a laugh filling the room as he got rid of the remains of the cigar.
Over a month later Simon finally went home, and a few days after his arrival he found himself lying on his bed in the middle of the day, staring at the ceiling as he thought about calling you. Would you finally pick up and talk to him? In the end he decided to send you a text instead.
Simon: Hey. Wanna meet me for a drink?
Two excruciatingly long hours later a notification showed up on his screen.
You: Sure. Where?
Simon: My place? I'll order dinner.
You: Not sure that's a good idea.
Simon: Come on.
You: All right, fine.
You arrived not long after the conversation, holding a bottle of wine you two often drank on nights like this. The situation was awkward as Simon didn't really know what to do or say. A part of him wanted to apologize for the kiss, hoping you could forgive him and continue your friendship as if nothing happened. But another part was ready to beg you to be open-minded now.
When the door closed behind you, he leaned against it and watched as you slipped out of your sneakers and walked into the kitchen as if you lived there. A smile crept on his lips at the thought of you living with him. That would be nice. He could get used to the idea.
The next time he laid his eyes on you, you already had two glasses of wine in your hands, getting closer to him with a small smile. “You surprised me with that kiss,” you finally spoke up.
Simon took the glass from you, suddenly feeling nervous. “You didn’t forget about it.” You shook your head before taking a sip of your drink. “I’m sorry, I just… I know that was a lot to dump on you that night.”
“No, it’s okay. I had some time to think. You’re a great guy, Simon, any girl would be lucky to have you by their side,” you began to explain, causing him to let out a long sigh of defeat. “I’m one of those girls.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” With a short laugh, you immediately nodded and stood on your toes in front of him. “Does this count as our first date?”
He leaned down a little to give you a quick kiss. “No, you have to take me somewhere nice,” you told him.
“I’ll think of something.”
“Think of the place where we went after that party all those years ago. You know, when we first met.”
This surprised Simon. He tilted his head to the side as he watched you with a confused look on his face. “That was a McDonald’s.” You shrugged with a smile. “God, I love you.”
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fredwkong · 5 months
Text
Djinni's Gym: Hot Yoga
With a new gym opening in town, you had finally decided to get off your ass and try working out again. You had always been kind of shrimpy, and a few months of nonstop office work had added a bit of unwanted mass to your belly. A generous free trial of the new gym’s facilities was just the kick you needed to get back in shape.
Of course, you hadn’t counted on what seemed to be half the men in town taking the free trial as well. You shouldered through the crowd in the reception area, at least a dozen men filling out release of liability forms. “Look,” you said to the receptionist, a huge Black man, “can I at least go stretch and then come fill out the form when it’s not so busy?”
The guy looked you over and shrugged. “Sure, lil bro,” he rumbled. “The yoga studio is over there.” He lifted a massive arm and pointed across the weight room. As you nodded, you caught a whiff of the humid stench rising from his pit. As your eyes watered, you found yourself rock hard in your sweats.
“Th-thanks,” you stammered, and hurried through the turnstile, your cheeks burning. You had never reacted like that to another man. You looked around the weight room, trying to distract yourself.
The whole place was full of big weightlifters with a whole range of skin tones, all of them dressed in gym gear that left nothing to the imagination. You swallowed, your throat suddenly gone dry as a huge Indian bro grunted through a squat, sweat soaking the back of his tank top.
In a daze, you drifted across the weight room, your eyes drawn to every bouncing pec, rounded ass, and thick bulge you passed. A medley of scents flooded your nostrils, and your own cock started to leak pre into your briefs.
Finally, the door of the yoga studio closed behind you. Your head spun as you leaned against it, idly trailing one hand over your belly to cup your groin.
The yoga studio was dim, wood-panelled and, you quickly realised, heated. The thermostat on the wall read 38 Celsius. There was a single yoga mat set up in the middle of the room. To your overheated, lust-addled mind, some yoga seemed like a great idea. It didn’t occur to you that you hadn’t done a flow in years.
As you stepped out of your shoes and onto the yoga mat and stood in mountain pose, your feet tingled and expanded, darkening from toes to soles to ankles. Your joints flexed, supple and agile, as your feet began to emit a masculine scent that tickled your nose. Your cock jerked again, but you attempted to ignore the heat coiling in your belly.
You raised your arms and slipped into a forward fold, a little surprised when your hands easily touched the mat. You breathed into the gentle stretch in your hamstrings, unaware of your fingers stretching wider across the mat, their grip soft yet strong. An olive tone spread across your formerly pale hands as a sheen of sweat stood out among the thickening hairs near your wrist.
Stepping back into plank, you lowered yourself halfway and slipped smoothly into upward dog. You were surprised at how well your body recalled the sun salutation. After a few minutes in downward facing dog, you lowered yourself to your hands and knees in tabletop.
Dark skin rushed up your arms and legs. They got no longer or shorter, but tightened with lean, hairy muscle. Sweat poured off your body as you went through cat and cow repetitions, adding to the heady, musky humidity of the studio that was keeping you boned up.
You slipped seamlessly into a side split, your newly flexible hips bringing your cock and balls right down to the mat. You gasped, unable to contain yourself as your cock shuddered and grew against the rubber, thickening and darkening as a foreskin grew to cover the head. You felt an even larger spurt of precum gush into your sweats, which seemed to shrink and tighten, until you realised you were wearing stretchy yoga tights that left nothing to imagination. As you lifted out of the stretch, you left a visible pearly stain of precum on the mat, which added its own earthy musk to the air.
Finally, you lowered yourself from a plank onto your belly, resting one cheek on the mat as you breathed. Your shirt vanished into thin air, revealing your newly tight pecs, flat belly, and rippling back muscles. An olive tone swept up your neck, dusting your cheeks with stubble as your eyes darkened, hooded and lusty. You sighed in a deeper voice than you were accustomed to, relaxing into the yoga mat as your transformation ended.
The door of the studio opened behind you. “Hello?” rumbled the big receptionist.
His name suddenly leapt into your mind. “Hey Shaun,” you purred, a Hispanic accent creeping into your voice. “Want to help me stretch out?”
Shaun chuckled. “I’m on the clock, Jorge. I’ll take you in the showers after close.” He sniffed the air appreciatively. “You ready for your first class?”
Your cock flexed, trapped between your hip and the mat, at the thought of a couple dozen sexy men getting sweaty at your command. Only long practice at containing your lust until the right moment kept you under control. You couldn’t wait to lead them through a flow, get them hot and excited, and then help them release all their tension along with their sweat and, possibly, their jizz. You had become Jorge the Mexican yoga instructor, and you couldn’t imagine a better job than teaching classes at Djinni’s Gym.
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