#the cheese had nothing to do with the art it's just true

[ctrl-freaks]

couldn't pick one thing to draw so it's like a npf charcuterie board

#Diegesis is a triple-cream brie #Lee is smoked gouda #and billy is sharp cheddar #OBVIOUSLY !! #my art #teddytalks #the cheese had nothing to do with the art it's just true #nonplatonic forms #liam lee #diegesis #billy thatcher

[teaboot]

jock anon here! I have more questions about western schools because I always wondered how much is true :

Do you really drive to school?

Do you not have uniforms?

Do you really pay in the cafeteria? are you allowed to eat outside?

Do you have mascots?

are school sports THAT big of a deal?

(Sorry if these sound stupid but I really wanted to know )

To answer, I grew up on farmland in rural Canada

If you have your own car and a driver's license, you can drive to school. It's definitely too far to walk, but some people might bike. The city bus only goes through every four hours, but the school bus isn't too bad. If these don't work your guardians might drop you off before they go to work.

No, we did not have uniforms, that's rich city bitch shit. I personally enjoyed the fishnets and stompin boots combo but no, no uniform. Loosely-enforced dress code, too.

Yes, the cafeteria costs money. There are snack programs for If you don't have money but it's usually apples and granola bars, sometimes mac n cheese for a dollar or something. We can eat anywhere we want, just not the library, gym, or art rooms, and nobody's allowed up the trees.

We had a mascot but we didn't really use it. There was a costume but I think I only saw it twice.

I could not have given less of a shit about team sports, and I was *on* a sports team. We didn't really watch the teams play, either. From what I've seen in America it is NOTHING like they do. No parades or parties or sirens in the street, just trying to make it to nationals, maybe get a scholarship. (Didn't work for me, I was an art kid.)

It doesn't sound stupid but maybe ask an American for Wilder stories, holy fuck the sport team I saw had a fire truck wailing around town when they won once holy fuck damn near shit meself

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Sugar Mama Chapter 2

Summary: Bucky is overworked and struggling to get by.  The bills are piling up and he’s consistently in the red with no end in sight.  Y/N is a billionaire’s daughter, entrepreneur and philanthropist having a hard time finding true friends or love.  She has a proposition for him.

bucky barnes x curvy!reader

Warnings: eventual smut, sexual assault (not from Bucky)

The next day he called the number on Y/N’s business card.  A woman named Pepper, her assistant, answered and made an appointment for him to come to her penthouse apartment on Sunday at 7 p.m.  He had that day off from his multiple jobs for once, but instead of resting he was stressing about the meeting all day.  He barely slept with how nervous he was, going through his closet over and over again to figure out what would be best to wear and pacing around his tiny studio apartment.

When the time came to leave he got a text from an unknown number saying a car was waiting for him outside.  He peered out his window to find a black town car at the curb.  He laughed at just how strange this all was.  The ride was awkward and quiet, and once they reached her building the driver instructed him where to go.  He followed their instructions until he found himself leaving the elevator and entering into a large sitting room with a wall of windows showcasing the Manhattan skyline.  He gaped at the sunset hovering over the buildings, brilliant oranges and pinks peaking through the windows and streets.  He looked around the room at the high end furniture and art pieces on the wall.  Whoever designed the apartment had obviously been given an open budget as he recognized some of the items that he could only dream of using on his design boards.

“Bucky!  Good evening,” Y/N’s voice rang out around the corner.  Bucky followed her voice until he entered the kitchen.  It was huge, with appliances that a Michelin chef would die for.  Y/N was standing in front of the island in the middle, making sandwiches, dressed in a sweater and sweatpant set that was black and spotted with yellow smiley faces and matching slippers on her feet.  She looked so small and casual compared to all the other large and grand things in the apartment that it made him smile through his nervousness.

“Hello, Miss Y/L/N, good evening,” he greeted her back, standing awkwardly at the entrance to the kitchen.

“None of that, just call me Y/N.  You’re not allergic to anything are you?” she asked suddenly, her hands stilling over the food.

“No, nothing that I know of, anyway,” he quickly assured her.

“Do you like chicken or ham?” she smiled and turned back to the sandwiches, cutting a tomato and layering meat and cheese on one.

“Ham is fine, thank you,” he answered, smiling back at her.  She finished the sandwich and slid the plate over to him, gesturing for him to sit down on one of the stools by the island.  He caught it and gave her a quiet thanks as he sat before taking a bite.  She watched his reaction, and when he hummed in satisfaction she smiled again and went back to finishing her sandwich then hopping up on the counter to sit.

“There’s all kinds of drinks in the fridge, you’re welcome to whatever you’d like,” she gestured towards it behind her.

“Oh sure, thank you,” he said around another bite and walked to the fridge, opening it to find what looked like a full grocery store inside.  He quickly chose a water bottle and went back to the island.

“Did you like the crab cakes and risotto?”

Bucky’s eyes rolled back dramatically, making her laugh. “Oh yeah, still definitely my favorite, best thing on the menu there, in my opinion.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, giving him a lopsided grin.  “So, I’m sure you’re just dying to get this weird conversation over with,” she teased him as she took a bite.

Bucky chuckled as he finished chewing.  “Honestly, yes.  I’ve been very nervous all day.”

“Let’s just dive right in, shall we?  Have you ever been a sugar baby before?”

Bucky took a sharp breath and huffed it out.  “No, I haven’t.  Um, what exactly would it entail, if I said yes?”

“What are you hesitant about?” she queried, watching him intently.

“Uh, I guess, um,” he cleared his throat and decided to take a quick drink of water.  “So, I give you, what, companionship?  And you pay for things for me?”

“In a nutshell, yes.  It’s a mutually beneficial relationship,” Y/N answered matter-of-factly.

“So what kind of companionship are you, uh, looking for?” he asked hesitantly.  “I’ve heard of these kinds of things starting out okay but then becoming, um…”

“Sexual?” she finished for him.  He nodded.  “I don’t expect sex from you, Bucky.”  He let out the breath that he didn’t realize he was holding.  “I also wouldn’t be opposed to it, if the relationship organically led to that, but otherwise no, I don’t expect sex or sexual favors from you.”  She set aside her sandwich for a moment as she faced him.  

“My reason for doing this is because I have friends, plenty of friends, but those friendships have all been born out of those people wanting something from me.  Money, connections, for me to invest in their business, using my name as a way to get ahead, get in contact with my father, and so on.  It’s very hard to find real friendship, let alone anything more romantic.  And I know buying someone’s time isn’t exactly normal or the best way to get it, but it’s my last resort, really,” she finished, her eyes looking sad as she took another bite of her sandwich.

Bucky felt bad for her.  She had all the money and resources open to her and yet she was still lonely.  This big fancy apartment with just her in it.  

“Anyways, I’d like companionship.  Someone to come home to, to take with me as a date to events, spend time with on the weekends, go to parties with, maybe get a good cuddle or some hugs, just a friend.  And if something more were to ever grow from that, then great!  But that’s what I’d like.  You would of course be free to go spend time with other friends and family, I wouldn’t keep you prisoner here,” she joked.

Bucky snorted at that as he finished his sandwich.  “Okay, and what about my jobs?”

“Jobs?  How many do you have?” Y/N’s head jerked up at the question, a look of concern in her eyes.

“Three right now,” he answered nonchalantly.

“Three?!” she sputtered.  “Jesus, Bucky, no wonder you look so tired.”

“Tell me about it,” Bucky sighed as he took another drink.  

“Do you want to keep any of them?” 

“Um…I’d like to keep my main one.  I went to college for architecture and interior design, and during normal working hours I work for Joaquin Torres in Soho, so I’d like to keep doing that,” he explained.

“Oh yes, Joaquin!  I worked with him a few years back.  Architecture and interior design, huh?  I’d love to see your work,” she said excitedly, her eyes brightening.  

“I’d love that,” he smiled genuinely at her interest.  “But yes, I’d like to keep that one, if that’s okay?”

“Of course.”

“Alright, um…and money?” He felt so strange asking for money.  

“I’ll need a list of your debts, and I’d like you to break your lease and come live here.  I’ll cover any fees that come with that process, including for movers if you have anything big needing to be moved.  You’ll have your own room, your own space.  As for payment, you’ll get a weekly allowance of $5000 that you’re free to spend or save however you want, and if you need or want anything else or more, we can talk about it,” she rattled off.  “I’d like to take care of you, Bucky.  I’d like you to feel comfortable, and hopefully help make your life better.”

Bucky could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as she laid out the benefits to him.  His debts paid, living in this beautiful apartment, with a beautiful woman, getting paid $5000 a week, getting to keep his job and possibly get new opportunities just for being in her inner circle.  

“Oh Buck, don’t cry,” she jumped down from the counter suddenly and walked over to him, her hands reaching for his face and brushing away the tears that fell.  “Please tell me those are at least happy tears?” she pleaded as her fingers stroked the sides of his face.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he sniffled, “it’s just, really generous, Y/N.  I feel like all that just for my company and friendship isn’t fair.”

“It is an unbalanced dynamic, I agree.  But I promise that’s all I want from you, Bucky.  All the money in the world means nothing without having someone to share it with,” she gave him a smile then let go of his face and reached for his hands.  He gave them to her to hold and she rubbed his knuckles with her thumbs.  “So…is that a yes?” she asked hopefully.

Bucky scoffed, “Well yeah, I’d be pretty stupid to say no, wouldn’t I?”

“Not necessarily,” Y/N scoffed back at him.  “I want this to be an enthusiastic yes, with no hesitation or reservations.  So I’ll ask again, is that a yes?”

Bucky took a moment to look at her, really look at her.  She was sincere, with hopeful eyes and a determined set of her lips.  He would be dumb to refuse, but he also didn’t want to refuse.  He had no reason to. He wanted this.  There was a small part of him deep down that hungrily thought, I want her.  He pushed that away as he nodded his head.

“Yes, I say yes.”

“Yay!” Y/N cheered, jumping up and down a little and shaking his hands in hers.  He laughed at her and squeezed her hands.

“Would it be weird if I hugged you?” Bucky asked. 

“I’d love a hug,” Y/N said, opening her arms up to him.

He stepped into her embrace, her arms around his waist and his arms around her upper body.  She nuzzled her face into his chest, breathing him in as he squeezed her.  He felt like he was taking a breath of fresh air as she held him, one of her hands rubbing up and down his back.  They stayed like that for a few long minutes, neither of them seeming to want to let go.

“So when can you move in?” she murmured against his chest.

“Maybe this Friday?  After work?  That way I can pack and get some things in order…quit a couple of jobs.”

“Yes, quit those jobs,” she agreed as she turned her face up towards him.  “We’ll get you moved in on Friday night and then binge watch a show and eat all the pizza we can.  Get to know each other.  Sound good?”

He could just kiss her with how sweet she was being.  “Sounds perfect,” he agreed.

***

The week seemed to trudge on for Bucky.  He and Y/N had exchanged phone numbers and were constantly texting each other.  She would check up on him, ask him how his day was going, if he needed help with anything, getting the list of his debts and lenders, making sure he ate and would randomly have food and drinks sent to his apartment.  He had packed his small amount of things within two days and put his furniture up for sale on a local apartment sales site, making a few hundred dollars on the side.  Y/N had called his landlord and figured out the fees for breaking his lease early, so all he had to do was go to work, come home, pack whatever he had left, and wait for Friday.  Quitting his other two jobs had been incredibly freeing, and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself with all the free time he now had after 5 p.m.

On Thursday night he invited Steve over for one last hurrah in his apartment.  “I can’t believe you’re moving.  What was this job you got again?  Wanda was being really weird about it the other day and told me to talk to you,” Steve questioned him.

“I’m still working at the interior design firm, I just don’t have to work the other two now,” he was mum about it, not sure how Steve would react.

“That’s not actually answering my question, Buck,” Steve exasperatedly sighed.  “What’s going on?”

“Okay, just don’t judge me,” Bucky warned him.  Steve gave him an unimpressed look and sat on the floor where the loveseat used to be.  Bucky sat across from him as they ate the Chinese food Y/N had delivered to his apartment.  “I served some pretty wealthy people last Friday night, when I covered your shift?”  Steve nodded.  “One of them was Y/N Y/L/N.”  Steve’s eyes widened.  “Yeah!  She was super cool.  When it came time to pay she wanted to talk to me.  She asked me to, uh…to be her sugar baby.”

“She asked WHAT?!” Steve started laughing uncontrollably, clutching at his chest and falling over.

“I said don’t judge me!” Bucky yelled at him, throwing a dumpling at him.

“I’m not, I just, ha!  And you obviously said yes, cuz you’re moving, and quit two of your jobs!  Haha!” Steve was rolling on the floor as he started crying from laughing so hard.  “No no, Bucky, I mean it’s weird but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?” He kept giggling. 

Bucky glared at him.  “She’s going to be paying me $5000 a week.”

Steve immediately stopped laughing as he gawked at Bucky.  “What?”

“She’s moving me into her penthouse apartment.  She’s going to pay off my debt.”

“Uh…what are you doing to get these kinds of benefits Buck?” Steve was suddenly serious, his eyebrows hung low over his eyes as he sat up.

“Keeping her company.  Literally giving her companionship.  Friendship.  That’s it.”

“Oh come on, Buck, that can’t be it.”

“That is it.”

“No way, dude, she’s gotta expect something more in the end,” Steve accused.  “Did you already have sex with her?  Now she’s gonna keep you as her plaything?”

“What?  Ew, Steve, god no,” Bucky grimaced at his friend.  “Look, she’s hot, I like her, but no I haven’t slept with her.  If it happens in the future then hey, why not?  But she doesn’t expect sex from me.  This isn’t that kind of thing,” he promised him.  “She literally just wants a friend.”

Steve analyzed him, trying to see if there was a lie hidden in his explanation.  When he didn’t find anything he sighed again.  “Okay, man.  Look if you feel good about it and think it’s a good idea, then go for it.  I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I won’t,” Bucky said resolutely.  “It’ll be okay.  Hey, I’ll see if I can get you and Peg to come with us as a double date or something.  She mentioned having season tickets for the Yankees?”

Steve brightened at this news.  “The Yankees, huh?  Double dating with a billionaire’s daughter,” he mused.  “Peggy’s kind of a fan of hers.”

“It’ll be great, Steve.  You don’t need to worry about me,” Bucky said, clapping his friend on the shoulder.  “But I appreciate it.”

***

Bucky practically ran home after work was over that Friday.  He was ready to go, not needing any movers, with just a couple of bags of things he owned.  He grabbed his stuff, left the key in the slot of the landlord’s mailbox, and walked outside to the already waiting town car.  The driver helped him load his things in and sped off towards the penthouse.

He took the elevator ride back up to her place.  The doors opened and revealed Y/N standing there, her arms crossed, shifting from one foot to the other and fighting a smile on her face.

“Honey!  I’m home!” Bucky announced as he stepped in with a wide smile on his face.

Y/N laughed as he dropped his bags at their feet.  “Welcome home, Buck,” she greeted him, opening her arms for a hug.  He happily accepted it and gave her a tight squeeze.  “Come on, let’s get you settled in.”

They spent a good portion of the night getting Bucky unpacked into his room and making a list of anything else he may need to get fully moved in.  Afterwards she ordered pizza and drinks and pulled out all the snacks she had in the pantry.  Once the food arrived they binge-watched a few different shows, talking about their favorites, then altogether forgetting about the TV as they got to know each other better.  

“Steve is my best friend.  We’ve known each other since we were little kids.  When his parents died my mom took him in and then when she died, he helped me get through it,” he shared.

“What about your dad?” Y/N asked.

“Oh, he was in and out of the picture.  Always nice enough, but he just wasn’t the fatherly type.  I haven’t seen or spoken to him since mom died, and it’s better that way,” he said, looking away from her intense gaze.  “But what about you?  Any traumatic childhood experiences?”

She chuckled at his dark humor.  “It was just me and my dad.  My mom was only in it for the money with him.  I was her pretty doll to dress up, her pawn to get as much child support and alimony as possible.  Once I turned 18 she had a mental breakdown knowing she’d lose a big portion of the payout she’d been getting, and I’ve kept my distance since then,” Y/N looked away as well.  “She’ll call me sometimes, always asking for money.  The alimony would last her the rest of her life if she’d stop gambling and hoarding.”

“Jesus,” Bucky murmured.  He reached a hand out and intertwined his fingers with the hand closest to him.  She gave him an appreciative smile.

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” she reassured him.  “It is what it is.”  They sat silently for a moment, digesting the not-so-fun topic.  “Anyways, I’d love to meet Steve, he sounds great.”

“Oh yeah, I told him we’d have to double date some time.  He and his girlfriend Peggy went to that new burlesque club and loved it.”

“Did they?  Oh good, I’m glad.  That place was a labor of love, I tell ya,” Y/N giggled.  “But I love the art of burlesque.  Have you ever been to one?”

“No, I haven’t.  I’d like to,” Bucky said truthfully.

“We’ll go tomorrow.  You should invite your friends.  I’ll get us all in.  It’ll be fun,” she smiled again, patting his hand and then standing up and cleaning up some of the trash.  

“Let me help,” Bucky said as he stood and grabbed the pizza boxes.

The night wound down and they talked some more until it was nearly midnight and Y/N’s eyes began to droop.  “Y/N, you gotta get to bed,” Bucky poked her arm as her head began to loll to the side on the couch.  

“What?  No, I’m fine,” Y/N said groggily.  

“Come on…let’s get you to bed,” Bucky coaxed her, standing up and pulling her up by her arms.

“Oh, alright,” she agreed, then wrapped her arms around his waist.  “Guide me.”

“Oh god,” Bucky laughed, then started waddling his way towards the bedrooms beyond the kitchen.  Y/N was walking backwards, keeping a firm grip on his waist so as not to trip and fall, giggling every once in a while as they swayed towards her room.

As he walked into her room he led her over to the edge of her bed.  “Come on, you, we made it,” he said as he tried to push her off.

“But you’re so comfy,” she complained, her hug tightening on him again.

“And so are you, but you’re falling asleep,” he tried to pull her arms apart from behind him.  In the process they lost their balance and both fell onto her bed, Bucky catching himself on his elbows at the last minute before he squashed her.  She laughed as her hands flew up to his chest to help stop him.  He laughed as well, his head falling to her shaking shoulder.  As the laughter died down they stared at each other, their faces within inches of each other, the air around them shifting quickly.  

“Sorry,” Bucky blinked, breaking the spell. 

“It’s okay, it was my fault,” Y/N whispered as her eyes looked back and forth between his eyes.  “You know you have the prettiest eyes?”

Bucky huffed a laugh, his breath fanning her face.  “That’s funny, cuz I think you have the prettiest eyes.”

“I’m being serious, Buck,” she whined, then held back a yawn.

“Yeah, okay, time to sleep,” Bucky said as he lifted himself up.  Y/N sat upright on her bed as he stood before her.  “Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Bucky.  If you need anything I’ll be here,” she reminded him, giving him a sleepy smile.

“Alright, sleep well.”

“You, too.”

Bucky gave her one more smile before turning and leaving for his room next door.  As he got ready for bed and settled into his new bed he sat and looked around him.  The room alone was larger than his previous apartment.  He was in a king size bed, his clothes in a mid century modern dresser that cost more than his rent inside a walk-in closet and a full bathroom with all the amenities one could ever want or need.  Another smile spread across his face as he tried to accept that this was now his life.  He didn’t know how long this was going to last, or what this weird relationship would be like even a year from now, but he was extremely grateful to Y/N for helping him at his lowest.

**I'm not sure the best way to tag people who requested to be tagged? I'm still pretty new to posting like this on Tumblr so please be patient with me. But I'm happy y'all are liking it so far!**

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #smut #sugarbaby!bucky barnes #sugarmama!reader #sugar mama #sugarbaby #chapter 2 #curvy reader #bucky barnes x curvy!reader

[cindersfireplace]

4town Valentine's Day 💘

Jesse, Taeyoung, Aaron T, and Aaron Z walk through the hallway to their hotel room after taking a stroll around the neighborhood:

Taeyoung: There's nothing like bird watching on a calm afternoon.

Aaron T: I'm just glad there was an ice cream truck. That was one of the best chocolate cones I've ever had. Thanks for helping me chase it down Z.

Aaron Z: *walks behind him exhausted* Anything for you buddy 😊

Jesse: You good Z?

Aaron Z: *gasping * Yeah when I catch my breath next week I'll be able to function again 😮‍💨

Jesse: I wish Robaire came with us. It's good to get outside once in a while.

Taeyoung: I'm sure he has his reasons.

*Jesse opens the hotel room door*

Jesse: Yeah probab- sweet cheese and crackers! What's all this!?

*The room is decorated with heart, banners, balloons, pillows, roses, and LOTS of candles*

❤️🌹🕯️🕯️🕯️

Robaire: Welcome home my friends! I thought I would put up some decorations for Valentine's Day. *Sigh* Love is in the air.

Aaron Z: I didn't know love smelt like *sniffs* vanilla and *picks up a candle* … Late winter breeze. Whatever the heck that smells like.

Jesse: We were gone for like an hour? How?

Robaire: I'm very efficient when I'm passionate about something.

Taeyoung: So that's why Jess is always yelling at you to do your taxes.

Aaron Z: Were you not efficient enough to get any cookies or candy?

Robaire: That will be for the gift exchange.

Aaron T: Why can't we just buy cards?

Robaire: Because first of all the 4town best friend Valentine's super special gift yearly extravaganza exchange -

Aaron Z: I still say we should shorten the name.

Robaire: -is a time to appreciate each other's gifts and is a testament to how well we know each other. I love giving gifts and I put a lot of thought into them.

Jesse: And I very much still appreciate those custom ‘Art Dad’ oven mitts, but shouldn't we be focusing on our gig that day? The 4townies are so excited to see us perform One True Love live for the first time next week, and after the show I want to go to bed.

Robaire: Then go right to bed on another day of the year but you have to be there for the opening of gifts. Besides we've already drawn names for it so no going back now.

Jesse: Fiiiine if I must.

Robaire: That's the spirit.

Jesse: Uh I think a spirit is what we'll be if all of these candles stay lit. This is most definitely a fire hazard. I'm only agreeing if I get to put half of them out.

Robaire: Fiiiine. If I must.

Aaron T: We've known each other for a while shopping for each other should be easier. Right Z?

Aaron Z: Totally….

*Skip to the day before Valentine's Day at the mall*

Aaron Z: …Not.

Jesse: Come on Z it'll be fine.

Aaron Z: Not when I'm shopping for Robaire it won't. I don't know what to buy and he's definitely gonna try to one up us with his amazing gift.

Jesse: Does anything else in this world motivate you quite like your need to be better than Robaire?

Aaron Z: Absolutely, this is just a continuous priority of mine.

Jesse: So no then. Got it.

Aaron Z: I will search through every isle of this mall if it kills me. I will be victorious.

Jesse: Or you could breathe and let it go…and he's gone. Valentine's is gonna be fun.

*The next day*

Taeyoung: That must have been our best performance yet! Everybody was so excited, and despite my mild fear of heights trying to convince me otherwise, the rising heart platforms weren't so bad after all.

Robaire: Told you it would be incredible!

Jesse: Anyways now that that's over we can open gifts now.

Aaron T: Yeah guys the sooner we get this over with the sooner old man Jesse can take his nap.

Jesse: I'm not ol-

Aaron Z (whispering to Aaron T) You just want to get candy from your gift don't you?

Aaron T (whispering back): Shhhh I just care about Jesse's health…and my blood sugar.

Robaire: Anyways, who wants to go first?

Taeyoung: Me! I got T! Here you go! *Shoves present box into his hands*

Aaron T: YESSS! *Opens package* *gasp* It's a book of skateboard tricks! These are some of the most advanced out there and….a box of chocolate. Thankyou *hugs Taeyoung and whispers* This is why your my favorite.

Taeyoung: No problem at all.

Aaron T: So I guess it's my turn to give and I got Jesse *gives him a very messily wrapped package with 50 bows on it*

Jesse: Geez this looks interesting *opens the box* *gasp* ITS THE SUPER SMOOTH 3000! I've been trying to find this blender for months! My fruit smoothies will be so much better now! Thank you *lifts Aaron T off the ground in a hug*

Aaron T: Your *cough cough* welcome. Could you please put me down now?

Jesse: *Drops Aaron T* I'm next and I got Taeyoung. So here you go?

Taeyoung: *Carefully takes the box from his hand and opens it* Woah! Bird watching goggles! They even have little doves on them! Thanks Jess. I'm gonna have so much fun taking these to the park.

Jesse: I'm so glad you like them. They were some of the best I could find.

Aaron Z: I guess Robaire and I are last. You can go first Ro 😊

Robaire: No, I insist. You go first 😁

Aaron Z: Well this day means the most to you so you should go 😊

Robaire: And I like to share that joy with my friends so you should go 😁

Aaron Z: You.

Robaire: You.

Aaron Z: YOU.

Robaire: YOU!

*While these two keep going back and forth Taeyoung and Aaron T give each other a look and then open the presents themselves (whilst Jesse has too little sleep in him to deal with this)*

Taeyoung: Wow Robaire this is a really nice Destiny ‘s Child record.

Robaire: That's the exact one we listened to when we first met 🫢

Aaron T: Dang Z you got this cool basketball trophy. It even says ‘best basketball player I know ‘. Nice Sentiment.

Aaron Z: That was one of the first things I told you that I dreamed of receiving 😯

*They hold the gifts in their hands for a moment appreciating them*

Aaron Z: *clearly struggling* Th-th-th-

Robaire: Are you trying to say thank you?

Aaron Z: Nah I'm trying to say ‘That's all folks’. Yes I'm trying to say thankyou. Anyways thank you … for … this.

Robaire: Then I guess I want to say thank you too…I guess.

Jesse: Awww this is too sweet.

Aaron T: Maybe it wasn't about who got the best present after all?

Robaire: Mhm. Even though we all know it was me.

Aaron Z: Wh- if anything it was me!

Robaire: No you didn't!

Aaron Z: I got you the record that you sorry self was too BROKE for when we first met!

Robaire: I got you a CUSTOM TROPHY 🏆! Do you know how much that is in this economy?!

Aaron Z: But did I ask-

Robaire: But my-

Aaron Z: No but Robaire answer the question. Answer the question! Did I ask though? Did I?

Robaire: No but you can't just throw that in my face when I'm trying to be nice.

Aaron Z: Clearly not nice enough to admit I'm better…

*Senseless arguing continues in the background*

Jesse: T! They were this 🤏🏻 close to having a nice moment.

Aaron T: Sorry, I was just trying to bring some positivity.

Taeyoung: I'm positively sure they will be arguing for a while so I'm just gonna go now.

Jesse: Agreed. *yawn* 🥱 I'm going to sleep.

Aaron T: And I shall consume all this chocolate within the hour. I love Valentine's Day!

*Later that night Aaron Z and Robaire go to bed setting their gifts down on their night stands smiling at them and then turning the lights out to sleep*

❤️

#Happy Valentine's Day 4townies #Hope this is a nice and remember to love yourselves #(Seriously Robaire has a problem he lit like 48 separate candles) #I guess this could also serve as a Christmas special if you change the holiday a bit #Sorry if it feels rushed (which could just be a flaw in my writing) I made this literally the day before Valentine's Day #Anyways I'm gonna go eat candy now #4town #4townie #4town aaron t #4town aaron z #4town jesse #4town robaire #4town taeyoung

[feyspeaker]

Picked up two prints! (And a sticker!)

Just so you know, I would legit pay for, like, a collection of your prints in a size somewhere between the mini and 11x14.

Like, I just want to put a *bunch* of them in a binder and just look at it sometimes lol

thank you so so much!!!! ;A; I have considered other sizes, but I live in a tiny place and my printing room is already full of too many sizes of paper/mailers/tubes/etc for what I do offer. I will keep it in mind but the sizes I have now are probably going to be pretty set for now.

About to go off on a tangent, so apologies for hijacking your sweet ask.

honestly this is still so crazy to me, thank you. I have been illustrating for years and years now, but really only found proper footing this year after taking a huge break from commissions and just hammering in what I really want to do with my life.

I've always preferred rendered painting but I felt like the market was so saturated and that I'd never be able to make a living doing it. Many of my older followers will know that for a couple of years I was really on this digital watercolor kick, doing more stylized work. It was extremely grueling despite being faster, bc I forced myself to work entirely on 1 layer with no eraser. It was faster for me to do and felt more "lucrative" as far as timeliness, but I was not very happy doing it, and did a lot of rendered painting studies in my free time, it was basically my "fun time" where I was doing one style for work and a totally different one for private pieces. Literally, I would be painting realistic block of cheese as my downtime.

I was so convinced that stylized stuff was what people wanted, and I have had boxes and boxes of prints I've bought and thrown away because they didn't sell.

Now that I am doing the kind of art my heart wants to do, I am so much happier and completely overwhelmed by how there are actually people who want to art I make for myself on their walls.

This is probably coming off so random but I've been thinking about it a lot, it really is true that you HAVE to paint what makes you happy. If you try to box yourself in to what seems the more "marketable" I promise you are going to be miserable. (Never stop challenging yourself, though. seriously.)

I have never been happier about the art I have created in the last 6 or so years of doing this professionally than I am now that I just said "fuck it, I am tired of painting anime-ish stylized stuff because that's what's in." It's like I've been forcing myself to jam a square block into a circle shaped hole for years. Not to mention that doing line art on literally over a thousand pieces (yes, I've counted, absolutely insane; comic artists please take care of yourselves) for years has well and truly fucked my hand up permanently, I fear.

Other artists, please listen to that little creature in your brain that's telling you it doesn't like painting anime girls or cats or thick chunky line art because that's what you think is popular. If painting nothing but hyperrealistic swords is where you heart is happiest, just do it and stop forcing yourself because I promise there are thousands of people out there who want to see your swords. Just make sure to throw in some jewels or filigree or whatever every once in a while to keep yourself challenged.

Sorry again for hijacking your message, I just am regularly blown away that somehow people actually like my art now that I like it. (Not that my older pieces are regrets btw, I think every single thing you paint no matter the style is worth its figurative weight in gold)

#ask

[thehighladywrites]

What's set as your phone's lockscreen?

Cheese or chocolate?

Do you have any nicknames?

Last song you listened to?

Have you ever written fanfiction?

Are you on discord?

Do you have any piercings?

 What do you think says the most about a person?

If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

Headphones or earbuds?

What's the last thing you said out loud?

What's a weird fact that you know?

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Favorite place to nap?

Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Describe yourself in three words.

Jeans or sweatpants?

What's your go-to Starbucks order?

A color you can't stand?

What's your most prized possession?

Coffee or tea?

Favorite extinct animal?

How long have you been on tumblr?

Desert island item?

Describe your aesthetic.

What's your dream job?

Relationship status?

Describe your favorite outfit.

Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

What color is your hair?

Do you talk to yourself?

Do you wear makeup?

Best compliment you ever received?

@ your favorite blog.

ohhh anon ngl this was super fun to answer, thanks for sending it to me 💜

I have a light pink basic wallpaper, nothing fancy

Chocolate, always

My friends and siblings call me Ama, amara or mara, i’m also called aisha, which is my middle name💗

Teacher’s pet bc i’m trying to get into the mood when writing professor Eris pt 3💀🤤

Yess, this is the blog I write fanfics on!!

Nope!!

I have my nips pierced, I have three piercings in each ear and a nose stud. Bro when I tell you I almost passed tf out?? I hate needles but like i love to look cunty🤷🏽‍♀️

I honestly don’t know, maybe my kindness? I’m empathetic and very emotional. The thought of making someone sad or making them feel bad makes me feel physically ill.

An oreo, basic but delicious

Cat person for sureeee, i think dogs are cute but i prefer kitties

Headphones for sure, I never leave my house without them. I really recommend them too, they’re called skullcandy hesh evo and have amazing noise cancellation

I said fuck out loud

Did you know that goats have accents? Yeah, a goat from europe won’t understand a goat from asia. My grandmother owns goats and she let me know. At first I thought she was fucking with me but it’s true.

A night owl through and through, I sleep during the days and im awake during the nights

My bed for sure, it’s so comfortable bc i have the softest blankets and a massive comforter. My mattress is super plushy and it feels like sleeping on a cloud.

I think i’m bi with a preference for women

funny as fuck, introverted, anxious

Sweatpants at home, jeans outside

I don’t drink starbucks

obnoxiously bright and strong colors

Neither, I like super sweet drinks, but gun to my head the probs coffee.

Dinosaurs, love those lil fuckers

I’ve had this blog for almost 3 months but I had my old account for about 1 year.

If i could bring one item to a deserted island, i’d bring a sharp knife.

I think hyperfeminine and dark academia. My room is super cute in my opinion and it’s a mix between pink and dark colors. My outfit inspos are rachel green, monica geller and jasmine tookes.

My dream job is being a housewife and i’m so serious. I’m not made to sit in an office or work long hours. I just wanna stay at home, bake, look cute, make a house into a home and just exist. Is it really that hard 😩

I’m happily married to my hot wife @rowaelinsdaughter i love her SO MUCH🫶🏽

My fav outfit that I repeat is this one huge white sweater paired with my black pants, I pair it with black boots and a black long coat with a scarf from acne studios

anything chase atlantic, the nbhd, ldr, melanie martinez, burna boy ik the lyrics to hella songs but by fav is probably show me how by men i trust or art deco by ldr

My hair is black, jet black

yes, I talk to myself all the time…

Yes, I wear make up all the time I love it!!

That I have a nice vibe and energy. And I was once told by my sister that i’m the one she calls first for everything bc i’m the one she wants hearing good news first. She said she trusts me the most and i nearly cried😭😭😭

Here are my fav blogs -> !!!!

#talkswithamara #anon ask #anon💕 #get to know me #ask game

[bohemian-nights]

This may be an unpopular opinion but I feel like people don’t understand what “a eye for a eye” punishment truly is. “A eye for a eye” punishment means no matter the circumstances whatever was done to you can be done right back to the person who did it to you. An example would be if someone hit you with a basketball “an eye for an eye” would justify you hitting them back with that same basketball. It doesn’t matter if it was an accident or not.

Now we can go back and forth all day arguing the ethics of “an eye for an eye” but that’s what that punishment means.

In HOTD “a eye for a eye” is literally what it sounds like. Luke took Aemond's eye so Aemond takes Luke’s eye. This doesn’t mean it’s right but that’s what this punishment means.

“A son for a son” isn’t the same as "a eye for a eye." “A eye for an eye” punishment would be because Aemond killed Rhaenyra’s son Rhaenyra kills Aemond’s son. Aemond however has no children.

While I understand why what was done was done I don’t agree with either “a eye for a eye” or “a son for a son.” I think they’re both wrong but I wish the fandom would acknowledge the distinction between the two.

I don’t think this opinion is unpopular among Team Green, but Team Black 😬 Speaking as a Daemon fan(I like and hate characters from both teams), what he did wasn’t right.

The punishment did not befit the crime. The only real reason why he went after the babies was because they were the easiest targets to get to that would cripple morale (which effectively took Helaena out from participating in the war thus leaving the Greens down a dragon).

No comment on Rhaenyra other than her silence/not punishing Daemon and Mysaria means she approved of it 🤷🏽‍♀️

Daemon definitely should have gone after Aemond (or Daeron), but they aren’t children(and as you pointed out, Aemond at the time had no kids of his own to target). They are young men in their prime who could fight back which would have made it harder to kill them.

Honestly, Luke wasn’t a kid in that way either(and you could make the argument that Aemond was within his “rights” to collect an eye although he went way too far in the books cause he straight-up did not care if he killed him, it definitely wasn’t an accident). Yes, he’s a couple of years younger than Aemond, but they are age peers(despite how show!Aemond looks like he has a mortgage and show!Luke looks like he is still being breastfed) which makes Blood and Cheese even worse 🫠

I thought I’d add this art from The Rise of The Dragon to show how it was just a dispute between two hormonal teenagers that got out of control and ended tragically. Some show fans have turned this into innocent baby Luke has been murdered by an evil anime villain who doesn’t recognize the one true queen, the Greens🥦 must pay with blood 😈 So for that some actual babies who had nothing to do with anything have to pay the price🙃

This is a classic case of violence begets violence. We shouldn’t be cheering on or celebrating the continuation of this cycle. The Dance as a whole is a tragedy all around with no winners, just innocents paying the price for others' mistakes, but folks have lost the message with this team mess🤦🏽‍♀️

#bnasks #an eye for an eye #hotd ask #bnask #aemond targaryen #lucerys valeryon #daemon targaryen #this fandom is nuts #like half the fans are certifiable #lol kinda unrelated but I’m getting flashbacks to someone saying the dance could be blamed on Aemond and Daemon🤣

[themculibrary]

Peggy is Tony’s Godparent Masterlist

A Hell of a Kid (ao3) - TheAsexualofSpades peggy/daniel, pepper/tony G, 2k

Summary: Tony's upset and his godmother Peggy is having none of it.

Peter's upset and Tony's having none of it.

Also titled: How To Comfort and Reassure Your Genius Kid That Their Feelings are Valid: In Two Parts

Aunt Peg (ao3) - GNM_dreaming_girl G, 6k

Summary: Tony deals with the death of the one and only Peggy Carter.

~~

“Margaret Elizabeth “Peggy” Carter died in her sleep, she didn’t suffer.” His hand was shaking, hell, all his body was shaking, he didn’t know if he would be able to talk, didn’t know how his voice would come out but after thirty seconds of silence he forced himself to speak.

Aunt Peggy's Mac and Cheese (ao3) - rachangel peggy/steve G, 2k

Summary: What if Tony knew Peggy?

Tony reads a speech at Peggy's Funeral about Peggy's involvement in his life and how she practically raised him.

Bless The Broken Road (ao3) - PinkEasterEggs peggy/steve G, 114k

Summary: In 1950, Peter Carter goes missing.

In 2005, a boy who looks exactly like Peggy Carter and Steve Roger's kidnapped son is found.

Tony doesn't even hesitate (okay, he may have hesitated a little) to take the boy under his wing.

Collateral (ao3) - dementedgoat steve/tony N/R, 13k

Summary: What happens after the shield comes barreling down?

Go And Make Aunt Peggy Proud (ao3) - holla_the_forestfairy pepper/tony, steve/bucky T, 19k

Summary: When Howard screws around with one of Hank Pym's quantum theories, things go south, quickly and that in a way Peggy did not imagine in her wildest dreams: they end up in the year 2019. Luckily, a vigilante in a bright red, skintight spidersuit can help them out and take Peggy and Howard to who will be able to help them out.

Her Mysterious Man (ao3) - dreambbles peggy/jarvis T, 15k

Summary: Tony had just mastered the art of time traveling.(Take that, Reed!) Okay, little white lie. He hasn't actually gone yet, he still needs a proper scolding from his A.I before doing so. He is advised not to interact with ANYONE in fear of tearing apart the space time continuum.

But nevertheless, he is still free to travel anywhere through time.

So, why does he decide to end up in 1945? And who is that gorgeous woman in those red dancing heels sitting all alone? And why does she seem so familiar to him?

Honey, you're familiar (like my mirror years ago) (ao3) - chaoticcollectorchaos_me steve/tony N/R, 43k

Summary: ...That in a past life, he was a valiant and brilliant scientist who, with Captain America, managed to destroy HYDRA. It was a good fantasy to have for a lonely little boy growing up with everything and nothing he could have wanted.

Too bad nobody told Tony that dreams do come true.

How It Should Have Been (And Maybe How It Was) (ao3) - rebelmeg ana/jarvis, howard/maria, pepper/tony T, 23k

Summary: Tony Stark was surrounded by love his whole life. His mother adored every bit of him from the moment she knew she was pregnant. Peggy was the most devoted godmother that ever lived. Edwin and Ana Jarvis treasured him as the closest thing they would ever have to their own child.

But even with all that love... Tony still struggled, because the man that should have understood him best barely gave him a glance.

This is how the relationships in Tony's life shaped him, and how he shaped them.

I'm with you (ao3) - withered bucky/tony T, 4k

Summary: Bucky doesn't remember Peggy Carter, but she remembers him. Which is hilarious given her memory issues.

No Matter Who It Is (ao3) - readingbylamplight howard/maria T, 1k

Summary: “I punched him once you know,” She says, and Tony’s eyes brighten, “A long time ago now, but it happened.”

“Really?”

“He hid something from me, lied to me about it, and when I found out he tried to say that he did it to protect my feelings. So I punched him. Tony, no one should get to use your reaction to their lies as a reason for them. If they do, they don’t deserve you. Do you understand?”

He nods, and she spends the rest of the evening teaching him how to punch.

Peggy's Baby Boy (ao3) - Pacifiers_and_Repulsors G, 2k

Summary: Steve goes to visit his best girl at the nursing home and runs into Tony. Steve is shocked, Tony is mortified, and Peggy is just happy to have her favorite soldier and baby godson in the same room.

Rise and Fall (ao3) - Orca478 gamora/tony G, 4k

Summary: Steve orders Natasha to close the portal as soon as Tony goes threw it. Not waiting for a chance for the genius to fall back.

This causes one of them to rise, and the other to fall.

And Steve is not the one rising.

Say Goodbye (ao3) - ShakespearePoet101 G, 1k

Summary: They all rally around Steve when they get the news. They keep him company and hold him when he cries and try their best to distract his thoughts from his long lost love.

Peggy Carter had died, and Steve was mourning.

But they didn't seem to realize that Tony was mourning too. But why would they? They didn't know. They didn't know that Tony even knew Peggy, didn't know that he called her his aunt or that she had been one of the only people to truly care about him as a kid. They didn't know that she was his rock more often than not or that he had spent many a night held in her arms as he cried over how utterly unfair life was. They didn't know. So they didn't care. They didn't care that Tony was falling apart, his heart torn and bleeding, that he was lost (his rock was gone), and he desperately needed a hug, something to keep him together. But they just didn't know.

(Or the Avengers all comfort Steve after Peggy dies, not realizing that Tony was also suffering from the loss.)

Sweet Pea: Goodbye (ao3) - anxious_soul T, 4k

Summary: Steve receives a call saying Peggy has died. Four of theAvengers gather around to comfort him, forgetting about the fifth.

Tony mourns on his own as he remembers all the times he had with his Aunt Peggy.

The Genius' Brother (ao3) - anxious_soul T, 14k

Summary: What if Tony wasn't the only son of Stark? What if he had an older brother? This is the two of them through the years.

tony and peggy's big day out! (ao30 - orphan_account G, 6k

Summary: She presses on the communication device in her ear. “Mister Jarvis, do tell me you’re nearby.”

His answer is immediate. “I am but four blocks away, Missus Carter. What is it you need? A coffee, perhaps?”

“Oh, nothing of the sort,” she says, panting slightly with her rush. The screams of civilians ache in her ears, set her stomach rolling. She tries to find breath, force it into her lungs. Someone slams into her shoulder and she stumbles. Tony grips her hand doubly hard. She grabs him in a smooth motion, an arm beneath his bottom and a hand on his back, and his arms go around her neck impulsively, his nose pressing into the side of her throat. “Perhaps a pickup, if you’re not too busy?”

“Why, never for you,” Jarvis says. “What’s happened this time?”

“Just a bombing,” says Peggy.

“At three in the afternoon?” says Jarvis. “Frankly, how rude.”

When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing (ao3) - Calliope29 peggy/steve G, 5k

Summary: “And now, I’d like to invite Margaret Carter’s godson to come up and say a few words.”

A pointy elbow prodded at his side. Steve tilted his head towards Sam, a questioning furrow in his brow. Sam, with wide eyes, jerked his chin at the podium subtly, and Steve finally turned his gaze where he’d been avoiding.

It was Tony. Tony Stark was standing at the podium in a sharp suit, dark tinted glasses pushed up high on the bridge of his nose.

-

“You never told me you knew Peggy,” Steve said, quiet voice still carrying in the empty space.

Tony was staring at his hands. “Knew her?” he mumbled like the question amused him. Finally, he looked up. Steve had never seen those brown eyes so black. “She practically raised me, more than Howard ever did.”

“You know,” Steve found himself saying. “If I never went into the ice, you’d probably be my godson too.”

-

Based on the prompt: Peggy is Tony's godmother

"You Own Three Power Plants?" (ao3) - FairToMiddling93 G, 1k

Summary: Steve meets Howard's heir and is surprised to learn that it's a woman.

(Thor shows up to stop Loki in Germany instead of Toni, so her arrival is on the Helicarrier).

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #peggy carter #tony start #godparent #peggycartergodparent masterlist #masterlists

[imsparky2002]

Mirrorverse Crossover - Alya

The sorceress spent no time hearing a true introduction from her counterpart. How could this goody-good let that magical impersonator attack her foxy boyfriend? YzAlya marched right up to TiAlya, absolutely seething with anger. “Listen here, you little-” 

“Hold on, sugah!” TiAyla stated. “I know you’re hot and bothered about what happened to your boo, but I like to consider myself a reasonable person, and I’m gonna need you to step out of my personal space before I take the liberty of making you do so myself.” YzAlya gulped and reluctantly backed away. Something in that girl’s tone said she was someone who could do exactly what she said. TiAlya smiled and called for her boyfriend through the bubble.

“Darlin? Could you fix up Foxy Boy?” TiAlya asked. “You got it, Tadpole.” Fairy GodBro replied, before frowning at his counterpart. He pointed his wand at the pumpkin that had used to be the conman, changing the hybrid back into his normal body.

“Thank you, Sugah Dumplin.” TiAlya said to her partner, who began blushing in response. YzAlya gave a look of pure disgust. “Sugar Dumplin? That’s what you call him?! God, there’s so much saccharine sweetness in this room it’s giving me a cavity.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with a little sugar in ya life. That boy’s always there for me, and I’m always there for him. We don't need to hurt anyone to get along. I can't say the same for you.”

YzAlya brushed her off with a handwave. “HA! Just what I would expect to hear from a goody-good like you! MY Nino is the most cunning of scammers! He could swindle that little fairy of yours out of everything he’s got!”

The hybrid puffed his chest out upon hearing his darling’s words. GodBro just rolled his eyes.

“He'd turn that thief into his carriage in a second. And he doesn't even need his magic. All I had to do was give a little push, and Nino's cookin', cleanin', and fixin' things with his bare hands. Could Mr. Swiper over there do the same?” TiAlya retorted, pointing at the swindler. YzAlma sputtered and tried to come up with a comeback. “Hmph! We-well, that just PROVES how much of a fool he is! There’s no greater art than magic, only an imbecile would waste a talent for it! MY Nino could make FAR better use of that wand!”

“Well it wouldn’t work for’im. That boy doesn’t have a good bone in his body.” Alya thought to herself. The girl decided to change the subject. 

“So who are you?” TiAlya questioned. YzAlya stared at her as if she were an imbecile. She blinked rapidly and her head tilted to the side.

“Is your brain made of cheese?! I’m you, you moron!” YzAlya hissed, grinding her teeth. TiAlya rolled her eyes. “No, I mean, what makes you special? How are you any different from me?”

“I am Alya, the br-r-r-riliant soreceress supreme! Master of potions and alchemy! My genius knows no bounds!” YzAlya exclaimed, basking in the smell of her own ego.

JeanCo was watching this grandiose reaction with annoyance.

“Leave the theatrics to the professionals, sweetie” He exclaimed, as he took a sip from his drink. It… tasted a little odd. YzAlya got an incredibly creepy smile on her face, her eyes were wide as she slowly turned around. “Something wrong with your drink, prince?” She stated, sounding absolutely ecstatic as she said it. Jean frowned and tried to respond. “What did you-”

He was cut off as his body began to change. He felt himself getting taller, his skin felt… furrier. Were his ears growing?

“Ohohoho, dear sweet arrogant fool… you shouldn’t have left your drink unattended”. She said the last part in a sing-song voice. 

The transformation was complete, and Jeanco had become a llama.

“Wuh… wh…. AAAAAAHHH!!” Jeanco bleated out, running around the room and screaming their head off. “My face! My beautiful beautiful face!”

“Come on now, baby! There’s nothing wrong with having a bit of beast inside you!” Jeanatoa joked, showing off his crab-hybrid body.

Julebeast decided to comfort Jeanco, knowing what it was like to be transformed, even if she had turned into a beast instead of a llama. The villainous classmates cackled as they heard the young emperor’s repeated cries of “llama face”.  TiAlya just stared at her counterpart in horror and confusion. “H-how did ya even-”

“Extract of llama, my dear. It wasn’t poison, but it’ll ruin his day.” YzAlya giggled.

“The hell’s wrong with you?” TiAlya snapped, with her counterpart relishing in the girl’s concerned anger.

“How’s that for special!” YzAlya began cackling madly, overjoyed that she got to show off her villainous genius. She stopped laughing as she got a look at TiAlya’s worried face.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure your little nurse’s office has a cure for curses.” YzAlya said. “Why, you don’t even need a nurse. Isn’t it true that you can turn animals into humans with a kiss?”

“It don’t work like that, it only works with frogs. I’m not kissin a llama!” TiAlya explained.

“Hmm… maybe I can do the opposite. Yes… there’s these group of brats always thwarting my plans. I could turn them into slimy little frogs, and I wouldn’t have to waste a potion to do so! Absolutely brilliant! Genius, I say!” YzAlya cackled with glee upon cooking up another insidious plan. TiAlya decided that she had enough, and left the room. 

YzAlya went back to her foxy partner, giving him a smooch, and patting his head. “Wow…your Alya seems like she really cares about you.” Fairy GodBro said, honestly impressed with how passionate this villainous Alya was about her Nino. The hybrid couldn’t help but blush as he tried to act smug. “Yep! I'm her sly fox. What a girl. Yours ain't bad too, I mean, a bit plain, but whatevs.” Honest Nino said, in an extremely dismissive manner.

This angered the young fairy, who was quick to react. “She is NOT plain! She is one of the most passionate and dedicated people I’ve ever met.” He responded, his wings flaring up as he did so. Looking to avoid being zapped by the wand again, Honest Nino put his hands up in surrender. “Woah, take it easy, Twinkle Toes. She’s your special princess, I get it. You can be goody-goods together.” He said, avoiding his heroic counterpart’s upset glare. “But she’s got nothing on my Alya! Damn, she’s amazing. A real firecracker! She’s like a monster and a genius at the same time!”

Seeing how crazy they were for each other, Fairy GodBro decided to take his counterpart down a peg. “Well she didn’t seem very fiery a minute ago when my “plain” Alya told her to back off. I can’t blame her though, my lil’ tadpole can make ANYTHING happen if she sets her mind to it!”

Honest Nino decided to cut his losses to avoid this fairy’s wrath. He gave a shit-eating grin and offered a handshake to the GodBro. “Look, I’m not gonna try to win an argument against a dude who can turn me into a vegetable. How about we just agree that our girlfriends are awesome?”

Happy that the situation ended without another fight, Fairy GodBro happily accepted the handshake. “Sounds good to me.” Then he noticed the fox taking a peek at his wand.

“I see you eyeing my wand, don’t even try it. It won’t work for anyone who doesn’t have good in their heart.” Honest Nino grumbled and looked away from the wand. “Aw, rats.”

And that’s Alya’s crossover! This was a collab really between me and @msweebyness, who provided the dialogue (which I edited a little) for the scenes where the Alyas and Ninos simp over each other. Don’t go anywhere, because in a little bit, @msweebyness is dropping her Marinette crossover post. Then later, @artzychic27 will be showing off their Nathaniel post. As always, please let us know what you think in the replies, reblogs, asks, and posts. See you soon!

#alya cesaire #alya #yzma #tiana #the emperor's new groove #emperor's new groove #the princess and the frog #princess and the frog #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #class of villainy #class of heroes #mirrorverse #crossover #disney #disneyau

[discountdemonwarehouse]

Domestic December 1 & 2

Okay so I'm a little behind, but I'll try to get the five blurbs up at some point today, or by tomorrow.

I’ll be doing snippets of stuff for my OC Quinn, who is Terzo’s friend from childhood/early teen years. I haven’t started posting any of the fic yet, but I have shared some of the commissioned art of her with Terzo before - she’s the pink haired one, and the one in the bad/awkward prom photo.

These snippets will be written specifically for this bit on Tumblr, not fic excerpts, so there likely won’t be identical stuff in the fic – for the most part, anyways.

We’ll see if my snippets are actually short, lol. I’M GOING TO TRY.

AO3 Link for all the days as I do them

On this post we have 1 - Cooking together, and 2 - Going to a concert together.

1 - Cooking Together

This one’s a little longer because I felt like it.

Ages → Quinn = 11/12, Terzo = 14/15 Terzo had been brought to The Ministry at a young age, taken from his mother when Nihil became aware of his existence. His memories before The Ministry were spotty, often just small flashes triggered by a smell or sound; something similar to his mother’s soap or perfume, a song she’d sing to him, or even his nonna’s cooking. He remembered laughter and stealing ingredients, or perhaps being asked to taste test food from the wooden spoon. He remembered watching his nonna and mother make pasta, listening to the radio and singing along as they worked, giving him his own little ball of dough to knead and roll out. Now as a young teen he sat in the Demuirs’ clergical apartment kitchen, listening to Quinn and her mother laughing as they started making supper, he felt a pang of longing as he remembered his mother and nonna. Quinn’s eyes landed on him as she turned, her smile faltering as she saw the sadness in his eyes. “Terzo? You okay?” He smiled brightly, forcing it. “Fine.” Her gaze narrowed. “Uh huh.” They’d only been friends for a few months, but she could already read him like a book. “This just reminds me of when I was little... Mia madre e mia nonna. They were often like you two, and sometimes I helped.” “You’re more than welcome to help, sweetie,” Sera offered. “Yeah, you can take over for me,” Quinn giggled.

He hesitated, unsure of whether or not he was truly welcome to join, but also unsure why he wouldn’t be. They were good people, this wasn’t some sort of prank or trap. Quinn waved him over, “Come on, slowpoke. The garlic won’t slice itself.” “What are you making?” he asked, approaching slowly. “Nothing too difficult, just burst cherry tomato pasta,” Sera smiled, pointing at the ingredients “Oh! Pasta con pomodorini, sì!” “You’ve made it before?” “No, but it’s a common dish. Papa Nihil… he doesn’t let us cook. Says we make too much mess. “Too much of a mess? That’s part of the fun! You’re welcome to cook here.” “I don’t know how.” “Well, then we’ll teach you. Quinn’s helped me since she was younger. Everyone should know how to cook – even Russ, Bishop Demuir, knows how to cook!” Quinn had boosted herself up onto the counter on the other side of the sink, and nodded when Terzo looked at her. “It’s true. Dad mostly cooks breakfast food though.” Terzo smiled a little. “Learning would be nice.” “Don’t think this gets you off the hook either, little miss!” Sera pointed at Quinn. “Soon I’ll have you two cooking dinner and I’ll be able to sit and relax.” “Yes, mama.” Quinn rolled her eyes, eating a cherry tomato. “Don’t eat all of those, we need them for the pasta. Get the cheese grater.”

Sera walked Terzo through prepping the ingredients and getting the water on to boil before showing him how to sauté the garlic. Next came cooking the tomatoes in the same pan, and adding the pasta to the boiling water. “I know it can seem overwhelming to have multiple things cooking at the same time, but you’ll get the hang of it,” Sera reassured him. “Quinn usually makes this by herself.” “If she can do it, then I’m sure I can.” He tried to feign confidence. “Of course you can!” Quinn grinned at him as she grated cheese. Terzo startled as one of the tomatoes popped loudly, causing Quinn to giggle. He felt his cheeks heat. “Smash them with the spoon,” Quinn told him. “Only half of them!” Sera added. “Smashing them helps make some sauce, but we don’t want it too runny.” He nodded, carefully poking the tomatoes with the wooden spoon. “Sweetie, get the strainer please,” Sera instructed Quinn. “Terzo, time to slice the basil.” Sera supervised his knife skills again as he sliced the basil, then showed him how to season the sauce. Soon everything was finished. Terzo had made the pasta under Sera’s watchful eye, and Quinn had made a salad and sliced a loaf of fresh bread. They quickly set the table and summoned Russ to join them. “Terzo made supper,” Sera said proudly as she watched him set the serving bowl on the table. “Part of supper,” Quinn corrected her mother. “Really? Looks delicious!” Russ responded with a smile. “Grazie, Your Grace.” Russ waved a hand at him. “None of that here. Call me Russ, or Mr. Demuir if you still insist on formality.” “Yes, sir – I mean, Mr. Demuir.” Russ chuckled. “You’ll get it soon enough. Buon appetito!” Terzo smiled to himself a little as he filled his plate and began to eat, a sense of belonging starting to fill him. None of them ever expected how that night would cause cooking to become one of his comfort activities.

2 - Going to a concert together

Ages → Quinn 17/18, Terzo 20/21

Quinn stood on tiptoe trying to see over the taller metalheads in front of them. “Are these the best tickets The Ministry was offered?” she asked Terzo. “Apparently.” She huffed, dropping back to flat feet, arms crossed over her chest. “Stop pouting, tesoro. You’re here – even after your parents said no – and you didn’t have to pay money.” “I’m an adult, they had no right to say no!” “And yet here you are, sneaking out to go to a concert with me,” he smirked at her before drinking his beer. “Can I try some?” “You won’t like it.” “You won’t like it,” she mimicked back in a stupid voice. “I’ve had beer before. You’ve literally seen me drink it at the bonfires.” “Then you don’t need to try it. And you shouldn’t have been at the bonfires either.” “What the fuck, salsicciotto (little sausage)?! Are you my parents now?” “If anything happens to you, I am the one who will get in trouble.” Her eyes narrowed at him, lips pursed, and a moment later she snatched the beer out of his hands. “Quinn!” She took a swig. “Nope, still don’t like beer.” “Then why do you insist on drinking it?” Terzo asked in exasperation. “Nobody ever has anything else! And you didn’t get me anything to drink.” Terzo sighed and looked at Omega, the ghoul holding up his hands helplessly. “Fine, I’ll go get you something.” “Great! We’ll be at the barrier!”

Terzo froze in his tracks, wheeling around to face her again. “Eh, scusa? You stay here, tesoro. Omega and Celeste will keep you safe. Or keep others safe from you.” “Oh come on! We have the ghouls, why not use them to get to the barrier?” “No,” he said firmly. He looked at Omega, knowing the ghoul’s fondness for Quinn and reiterating, “No.” “Please?” Quinn begged, giving him her best puppy dog eyes. “I’ll stop whining if we go to the barrier.” Terzo sighed. He wasn’t going to win this battle, but he could negotiate. He could try to negotiate. “We can go to the barrier after I get you a Coke. We will go together, or not at all. Sì?” “Fine. I forgot you wouldn’t be able to fight your way through the crowd,” she smirked at him. “Just for that I’m not getting you a coke.” “Fine! Whatever.” She turned to start heading through the crowd. “I’ll just flirt with someone else to get one once we get to the barrier.” “I don’t fucking think so!” he exclaimed with a glare. “That’s asking for problems I don’t want to deal with!” The four of them made their way through the crowd, Omega using his quintessence to easily coerce people to step aside and make room without realizing they were doing anything. They reached the barrier, Celeste and Omega immediately falling behind their humans as if to guard them. Terzo had to admit, Quinn had him wrapped around her little finger, along with his ghoul, and she wasn’t afraid to use it to get her way. He also didn’t appear to be the only one affected, both the opening band and the main act made a point of flirting with her from the stage, and giving her picks or other items. “Why do you get all the attention, hm?” he asked half-teasingly. “It helps if you stare at them adoringly,” she laughed. “Even if it’s a lie. You should know all about flirting, you’re already on your way to being a womanizing playboy.” Terzo reached over and messed up her hair. “The encore is over, let’s get back to The Ministry.”

#the band ghost #fanfic #papa emeritus iii #papa terzo #ghost terzo #terzo #terzo emeritus #ghost fanfiction #ghost fic #Domestic December 2023 #female oc

[shitsngiggles666]

Hi @eileen-crys I know you blocked me. But it came to my attention you’ve been talking shit (get it?) about me. I seen a screenshot from your blog that I feel is a bit unfair and almost resentful towards me. Listen, I think you have every right to say what you want about me. Call me names, talk behind my back, hate me all you want. But I want to respond. I think even someone widely considered “a bad person” should at least try to defend themselves.

I don’t want to share a sob story, but I am more used to people being mean then kind to me. I don’t think anything you can say to me or call me would be new. I have been called stupid, ugly, annoying for pretty much my whole life. This includes everyone from school mates to members of my own family. Did this cause me pain? Yes, and it’s taken me time but I am used to it. I really don’t want to let people on the internet hurt my feelings. Here’s the thing tho, I genuinely considered you my friend and really enjoyed talking to you. I think your art is adorable. I think that’s why I feel so hurt tbh. We have drifted away, and that’s fine. If a friendship, even an online one ends over diffidence of opinion over the nature over the marriage of some old rich white dude then so be it. But I will not let you mock me on your blog without at responding. Keep that post up, I don’t care if you remove it or not but I think I can at least respond to it. This is my one request so I can get this off my chest

I never said that anecdote is false. I just think like so many online anecdotes it needs scrutiny, a source and cannot be taken as fact. I don’t just do this for Veronica, I do this for everything. The reason I was skeptical was I was always led to believe Veronica was still in school but working as a nanny and never got to teach. My religion is agnosticism and my overall philosophy is “question everything, don’t be afraid to say ‘I don’t know’ what we want to be true isn’t always the truth, complete honesty and an avoidance of bias. I have, and probably always will ask questions. Not just about John Deacon, but anything I am curious about. It’s simply my nature, and the more unsure I am about something the more I question it. Yes, it’s annoying but also understand that I annoyed my parents, my teachers, my professors and even people at work.

I got hooked on Queen some years ago after watching a BBC documentary on Queen and becoming enamored. The movie greatly disappointed me and even some what angered me (honestly I think it’s one of the more homophobic films I’ve seen). So I turned to the internet to feed my hunger. John particularly fascinated me as I thought he was dead originally but wondered “where was he”? I even related to him a lot as I am quite shy and quiet irl. John also frustrated me as there was so much not known about him. Back in the day, I was a HUGE johnica stan. Surely if John and Veronica had so many kids they were very much in love, and the narrative of John living happily ever after was appealing to me. Plus his son seemed nice enough. Cameron was who lead me to tumblr, and who led me from my Johnnica fantasies. Cameron made me view John Deacon as not just a person, but also a flawed person. I learned more and more about him and I started to think maybe John and his family are different than how I imagined. I was really forced to start being honest about what I really knew about John. I wish I can elaborate more as I can’t describe it but something about the whole Cameron and the Camily incident made me see John more human? Like more complex, and more like an everyday person and less of this caricature obsessed with cheese and impregnating his wife? I don’t have anything against John. I don’t have anything against Veronica. I am not some villain from a Carebears cartoon who hates love. I just feel so much about John is from fan assumptions and imagination. Hear me out:

Something I want to make clear is I have nothing against writing fan fic or fan art or what ever about real life people. I believe strongly in freedom of expression and no one should dictate what art is acceptable and what isn’t. You got mad at me when I opposed you encouraging your followers to report a “fan fic” casting Veronica in a bad light. Is it because I have a personal vendetta against her? Or maybe I strongly believe that if one is allowed to fantasize about the marriage of two British boomers writing countless fics about them conceiving their real life children, then you have to tolerate (not accept, but tolerate) different views. I am sorry, but fair is fair. Is it because I hate Veronica? Or is it maybe because I don’t think she would like art depicting her sexuality but accept that authors have every right to express themselves, but can’t dictate what others create. I don’t like double standards. Not to mention, not one of us can say what she would think or feel about it all. Remember, she’s not some fictional character! This pisses you off but I still think my statement is true, but we don’t know her as a person. So much we “know” about her is fan speculation and projection. Am I saying she’s a bad person? No. Am I saying she’s mean? No. What I am saying is we have to be honest about what is fan creation. Just because you’re popular doesn’t mean your opinion is true and anyone who even expressed skepticism is both a bad person and hates Veronica or even thinks she’s a bad person.

I just think she’s an individual whom has had only a few paragraphs written about her. If she wants to keep her life private, that’s her right. Same for John. He famously hasn’t spoken to the public for decades and that’s fine! Maybe he and Veronica are the couple from “When I’m 64”. I love to think that! But maybe it’s different. And it’s not my business and there’s alone. So, that’s all I have for now. Since I have been interested in Queen my life has changed. New responsibilities, work changes, life changes the whole lot. I have less time to spend online and even less time to bother with silly internet drama. Am I hurt? Yes, I felt like someone punched me in the gut, and is never easy to see someone you once really liked and considered you a friend insult you. I’m upset. But I feel 1) This won’t matter ten years from now and 2) if someone who has always been sweet and kind suddenly turns nasty over a ship isn’t really your friend. I have seen people with opposing ships still me friends. I have some really wholesome memories from lurking on X-men forums involving fans being friends despite arguing over who should be smashing who. I never took shipping seriously and probably never will. John Deacon and his marriage is not very important to my day to day life. I remember feeling sick and distressed for days when I learned of his affair with Pushbar the lap dancer. But you know what? The sun still rose that morning, the birds still sang and I ice cream still tasted good. And I am sure you will continue to hate me and talk about me to other Queen fans but I will never leave the Queen fandom. I won’t let some middle school drama ruin something I really enjoy.

Accuse me of causing drama or being a bully or whatever but I tried to explain myself. I am willing to talk in private with anyone with questions, comments and concerns but understand I have a very busy work week with limited internet access and other stuff offline.

PS I am glad you correctly identified my avatar as an ocelot! Most people mistake ocelots for cheetahs or leopards.

#I want my side to be seen

[bloomingonionbitch]

Since we're sharing P!ATD stories...buckle up!

I'm originally from the Chicago suburbs (which is also an annoying personality trait) and I was 13 years old, heavily layering tank tops from Kohl's over v-neck shirts.

It's May 2008 and me and these two super cool older girls from Elmhurst (whom I met at Fine Arts Camp @ Saint Mary's College in South Bend, Indiana) went to Honda Civic Tour at the Congress Theatre in Chicago (RIP).

It was my first concert *ever* and I cannot believe how lucky I was to have it filmed. I got that hideous beige/brown Pretty.Odd sweatshirt (see attached for example) and wore it over everything because I believed I had hypohidrosis (spoiler: it was all the layered tank tops from Kohl's).

Motion City Soundtrack, Phantom Planet, and The Hush Sound were incredible openers and I have yet to have a more satisfying line up. BUT. It was at the concert that I had my first seizure! Rewind a second!

I grew up on Neopets and Flash Games and supported my friends who were really good at drawing Sonic the Hedgehog. I was on the computer *a lot.* So when the fingers in my left hand were going numb, it was dismissed as carpal tunnel - easy enough.

Now fast forward to me being such an amped up, cradle Catholic, Peggy Hill-footed teenager. I'm in ecstasy, feeling like the true Fueled By Ramen ™ teen that I knew I was inside. I'm sweaty, I'm scrunched against other people, I'm having an awakening!!!

But then my fingers go number and half of my face does too and I'm thinking it's adrenaline and hormones and Jon Walker - so I keep going. It eventually subsides, then happens again a few days later, and again, and again...for months.

Scooch ahead a little more - my mom advocates for an MRI and we get one, a then few weeks pass.

After going to ~LINCOLNSHIRE~ with my grandma and mom to see "Mama Mia" (on the day before I am set to start *THE* 8th grade), we get a call from my pediatrician that I need to go to the hospital ASAP. Turns out I have a "goober" in my brain and a "goober" is what you call a tumor when you're explaining it to a kid you helped bring into this world. Shout out to the emotional labor of doctors, for real.

I can do a "House"-style medical breakdown later and talk about my surgery/proton radiation, BUT I would much rather talk about all of my Make-A-Wish trip ideas, ripped straight outta 2008!!!

1. Visit the set of "Project Runway" and hang out with Tim Gunn.

2. A pink digital camera - literally, that was it. And you know the one I'm talking about. My Wish Granters were like....you can probably get that on your own sweetie...

3. Be on an episode of TAI TV (remember that!?) If you must know, I had big dumb crushes on Ryland and Sisky.

4. Meet Katy Perry??? (I don't know what we would have talked about or done together...I knew nothing about anything).

5. American Eage shopping spree (in retrospect, their clothes never really fit right and I only wanted to recreate the high of wearing a lace cami under a turquoise henley sweater with a pink skinny scarf at my first middle school dance - it was as much of a "Laguna Beach" moment as I could have).

- Meet Jon Walker - not all of Panic! just Jon. WILD!!!!! Imagine!!!

Dear reader...do you want to know what I chose?

A trip to Turks and Caicos! A place I had never heard of! I got my period for the first time and we could only find cardboard, "old-school" tampons and I was FREAKING OUT. I also got a wicked sunburn (Trileptal folks!) and got sick on an unlimited supply of Boursin whipped cheese spread. Two of my brothers are redheads who do not like the beach! They were so fussy! Turks and Caicos is a lot of beach!

Please please believe me, I am unbelievably thankful for my wish (and health and life and time) and the Granting team, but have any other Make-A-Wish kids spent time thinking about alllllll the other wish possibilities?

I'm not even talking about reflecting back and considering more "practical" (which is bananas to say considering the context), but just like how my interests have changed?

In high school (and probably now, too), I was kicking myself for not using my wish to meet Jason Segel? I still have a massive crush on him, but imagine them calling him up to meet a random kid who picked him as her Make-A-Wish? (This was pre "End of the Tour" and "Muppets" for him - it only was "How I Met Your Mother" and "Freaks and Geeks" for him).

I'm 15 years in remission and doing just fine! I haven't talked about (or processed) personal health stuff very much, so thanks for letting me take a moment from reblogging transparent Snoopy sticker scans and Nora Ephron film stills to reflect on the end of an era.

#tw cancer #panic! at the disco #p!atd #2008 #yall i know it's a stretch but are any of yall pediatric cancer survivors too because i have a lot of questions #thanks yall for real for real #ya girl's glonky

[swtorramblings]

Second Chances-9: Nothing is Ever Just Right

Azula art by @fleeting-sanity​.

No Lionel art. I’ll think about it, but he’s not really central casting, is he?

Azula and Lionel have a talk about her room and board arrangements.

Note: Azula does deride Fusco for his weight.

“Will you stop fussing? So you hit me. I was going to do worse to you. Get over it.” He sighed. “I’d love to do that. You can take care of yourself. But they want me keeping my eye on you.” “They know you won’t beat me again, right?” He chuckled a bit. “Yeah, they know. I think they just know I can take it until someone else can help.” “Take what?” “A beating.”

She looked up from this “microwave” thing, was the noisy box really cooking her food? “And you’re all right with that?” He shrugged. “Nah, but I’m used to it. And I volunteered. Sometimes all you can do is put your head down and plow through. I’m good at that.” The oven gave a long whine. “Whatever. What now?” “It should be done. Check it to make sure it’s cooked.” She pulled the little box that said macaroni and cheese out of the microwave and yelped. “Ow! That’s hot!” “Well, yeah, what did you expect?” “I don’t know, you told me about it, but I don’t think I believed it. And I never used to get burned.” “Things change, kid.” Azula gingerly peeled back the top of the package. The contents looked disgusting. Some kind of noodle, covered in yellowish slime. She dipped a finger into it and tasted the paste. It was what she expected, and she made a disgusted face. “Yes, but some changes are intolerable.” She still started eating, though. She was so hungry it barely mattered, and it started tasting a little better as it cooled. She was going to need to get used to worse than this, she was sure. In between mouthfuls, she said, “I don’t know what it is, but you remind me of someone. I don’t like it.” “Oh, you’re breaking my heart, kid.” “It’s not your shape. Well, it’s not just your shape.” “Big guy, was it?” “Pretty big. Like you. Rotund. Corpulent.” “Yeah, I get the idea.” “But that’s not it. You don’t look like him. You don’t talk like him. He likes to sound wise, and you don’t even pretend to be.” “You’re just making me misty, now, I can’t stand the compliments much more.” “That won’t be a problem! But you’ve seen things, haven’t you? And done worse. You’re not here because you’re a good person. You’re here because you’re a bad one.” She paused, grinning to herself. “I never realized that about him.” “Yeah, you’re very smart. Are you done yet?” “Oh, I could go on for hours!” “I mean with your food.” She looked down and saw she was. She really had been hungry. She still was, but the edge was off. “Yes. I don’t think I want any more of this slop right now.” “It’s what we’ve got.” “The cry of those not born to rule.” “Sure, you’re a princess. This way, your majesty.” She raised an eyebrow at the sarcasm, shrugged, and followed him down the hall. “Looks like you’re down to two rooms, that one’s taken.” “What’s the difference?” “Not much. That one has a window, I think.” “Then it’s mine, I do love the sun.” “Great, go ahead. You can lock the door, there are some clothes, just don’t leave. And there won’t be a mint on your pillow in the morning.” “Why would I want a … You know what, forget it. I’m going to get some sleep.” “Sure, princess, you do that.” She closed the door, shutting him out, and true to his word, there was a working lock. But they had to have the key. That thought stayed with her, but she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Too much had happened in too short a time. She sat at the edge of the bed, and almost immediately felt herself falling into the too-soft mattress. And then there was nothing but darkness and strange dreams.

#Lionel Fusco POI #Azula #secondchancescrossover #fatphobia cw #yes I made a goldilocks reference

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

U want to forget but I don't, no, not just yet

We smoked blow on the last subway cart on the train track. u used ur body to hide my high, remember when we ran away together that one nite? we were infinite like the perks of being a wallflower tunnel scene, we were laughing and panicking and kissing. Flowers growing just into the wrong tree.

ive spent so much time in unmemorizing but can u rly forget when

You bleached my hair with ur bare hands when it was all firetruck red

didn't use gloves

somehow u were always magic

The white pieces tht go thru a layer of ur skin always just came off

when u fucked me on the couch after I stopped going to therapy 

cuz u said she didn't understand me

She didn't understand addiction

Or any of the layers in me

When that uber driver from Chinatown drove us back home and farted so loud n didn't say sorry

when you met me at Greenpoint three times in one day 

To drop me off to work

Bring me fried chicken

Then an umbrella cuz it rained

U rode the subway the entire day on myrtle wycoff

And myrtle Broadway

At broadway junction, u carried crates of clothes for me for my children's fashion show date

Even ripped and cut apart ur own

Said u didn't need them anyway

Coffee in the greca 

hazelnut creamer 

"Dark and sweet"

Remember when we switched Starbucks drinks outside the farmers market in la?

I miss when u'd sing Beyonce

N how you'd sit on the sidewalk and call it “photosynthesis"

I just didn't know what love felt like til I saw u w that one dog u would dog sit

-----

i thought I had my heart broken before but

this feels like the very first time

Losing you feels like losing everyone ive ever lost in every god damn lifetime

Ive spent the entire night up but i still feel like i haven't been awake

figuring out who u were all along makes me regret saying yes to Sally's that day

i trusted u with no boundaries

So how do I begin to mend?

the holes in my heart

I don't wanna live for anything anymore

Not money nor my family not even art

Its like someone kicked me on the curb

Saw me bleeding 

Then kept kicking

and kicking 

and kicking me

still not stopping 

even when im crying red

i swear my heart just stopped beating

i can't feel it anymore 

cant feel u anymore

even in this feeling

feeling so close to death

---

u fed me curry chicken before u set me up with spycameras in ur bed

picture framed me I just forgot to smile

you told me youd take the handcuffs in Canada

When we hid ketamine under some cookies

Covered it with a blue dildo

i guess that was history

555… . It has to get easier with time 

<\3

-----

u were a wallflower

Just as lost as me 

My therapist said we found in each other what wasn't healed yet

we were flowers just growing into the wrong tree

i wish we blossomed into a mango tree 

i wish I went into ur backyard in Puerto Rico 

I'm so sorry this is how it all turned out to be.

U lost ur voice in the red fiat 

The day before March 1st 2024 

screaming u loved me while almost killing us both

u said u just wanted to be enough 

and I wish u knew I always thought u were

sometimes i still wish it was u id see on the living room floor 

Doing whatever u were doing

scratching off a ticket

eating dinner 

Drilling another hole into something 

nothing ever mattered when u laid beside me 

Not drugs

Or "intentional planned dates"

Just shared plates 

shared forks

shared home

With a ceiling

and a door

U were always self made

-----

If I told u I forgave u would u believe true love conquers hate?

I miss the perfume samples u gave 

the journals you'd steal for me

the cheese it's at laguaria airport

when u forgot how to spell my last name

The 100 coconut waters

All of ur last last dollars

All I ever wanted was u

More than freedom I want u

More than my life together I want u

More than money more than drugs more than heaven more than being equally loved.

—

let my blood run down the sink drain

I always told u id die before u 

im sry we can't die together today 

my ears are ringing and time is impending 

i feel myself dying

i wish u were with me 

i miss ur voice i miss ur face

this is the hardest withdrawal 

i wish u weren't a million people

But you are 

im so betrayed 

I love the boy i met January 5 2023

that boy that kissed my feet

painted my toes

the one i called first when i cracked my then iphone 

just after a second date

you told me you'd fix it

And I believed u

you told me everything would be okay 

And I believed u. 

i love you

you hurt me so bad

this is worse than my bloodied knee pads

but ill still remember the heart u tattooed on them, ill still call it love 

[mayspicer]

Cayden let's gooo have a bunch of numbers: 1, 3, 6, 7, 29, 35 And for you about Cayden: D, F, G, H

Ayyy : D

I'm gonna write the questions from memory here because mobile is clunky with copying text.

For anyone interested, basic character info:

Cayden is a character I roleplay in a Pathfinder 1e game. He's a gnome, a sorcerer of the unicorn bloodline, currently level 8. I reblog art with him here, it should be in my art or Cayden or pathfinder tags on this blog.

Questions about him:

1. How long can he stay still with nothing to do?

Probably about 5 minutes, even locked in an empty cell he'll look for ways to entertain himself. He can make himself sit still and wait for something when it's needed, but there has to be some kind of reward at the end keeping him excited (sitting through a boring lecture while infiltrating a cult, staying hidden waiting for an ambush, generally being patient when patience is needed to get something that he wants).

3. How does he put himself to sleep?

Depends if adventuring or not, because he ideally likes to put himself to sleep with someone else sharing his bed after a good time and that's probably how his evenings look whenever possible. When not possible, he falls asleep fast, sorcerers need their beauty sleep. Before falling asleep he mostly thinks about whatever topic is the most relevant at the moment, or about friends and family, stuff like that.

6. Does he see laws as flexible or immovable?

Definitely flexible. He understands why they exist and agrees they are needed, some of them at least, but treats them mostly as guidelines and believes that there shouldn't be consequences when the reason to break them is good enough.

7. Is he nostalgic? How is the nostalgia triggered? Is it a positive feeling?

He's very nostalgic (such a self insert trait lol) and gains satisfaction from feeling nostalgia. He collects experiences in a way and looks back at them emotionally as achievements in a way. Maybe nostalgia is not a good word, I use it interchangeably with "sentiment" and I probably shouldn't. Anyway true nostalgia is triggered for him by familiar food, sheep cheese for example and mountainous landscapes and air. It's comforting for him but he doesn't want to go back to the past, he lives mostly in the moment.

29. Does he live up to his standards?

Uhhh that's a hard one... But I think mostly yeah? He does what he can and he knows that.

35. How does he react to someone coming to him excited about something?

He easily gets excited and is supportive as a character but in roleplay it's been hard sometimes. On one hand he's a character that loves new things and experiences and on the other when a friend decided to spend all of his gold on magic chocolates with random effects (not always positive on top of that) as preparation for our expedition to the island near which Cayden almost died in the past... it was hard to be supportive in that case, even though stuff like this would normally be right up his alley.

Questions for me:

D: Did his physical appearance stay the same?

For the most part, yeah. His appearance got more streamlined in drawings over time, but I've always had pretty much the same picture in my mind. I adjusted some minor details at the very beginning that just didn't work well and he got much slimmer but that's mostly due to me figuring out gnome anatomy.

F: What do I feel when thinking about him?

I feel some kind of longing. I want to have what he has, be a magic guy travelling where he wants, living life to the fullest, enjoying the social aspect of it as well as various challenges. There's some (a lot of) gender envy in there also xd

G: What trait of his bother me the most?

I'm gonna approach this from two angles. As a person what would bother me in him is his tendency to get bored with people. He starts to get restless if the setting stays the same for too long. He gets attached easily, but letting go is equally easy for him. It's a big contrast to my character as I attach strongly and vaguely easily but I'm almost unable to let go of my emotional attachments to people. Even if I lost contact with them years ago, I'm regularly getting caught in a spiral of sadness even over the people who didn't treat me well. But this trait of his is not something impossible to work around. It's not like he stops liking/loving someone just because he got bored, unless there is something wrong with the other person of course. If someone is willing to follow him with his way of life, there probably is no limit for his attachment.

As for what bothers me in him as a ttrpg character that I have to roleplay. That damn charisma xD I completely lack any knowledge about how stuff like flirting is supposed to work, so I don't even know how to pretend that I know. Other social interactions also. It's really hard to roleplay a character who is supposed to be in his element in social settings, be charming, outgoing and all that stuff when I'm the least all of that kind of person possible. I often hear advice to just pretend that I am or to just say something that would be appropriate and not care about the tone, but the issue is this is all alien to me and I don't know where to even begin knowing what to pretend. I have this idea of Cayden's vibe in my mind but it's like he is my friend who I know is cool but I don't have what he has, I can't ever be spontaneous with what I say and it looks like it's a crucial skill to have.

H: What trait of his I admire?

Definitely the optimism and confidence. Also stuff I'm unable to roleplay properly, but he's supposed to improvise a lot. He's usually convinced that everything will work out in some way and it usually does. He probably could talk himself out of any trouble, but I cannot roleplay that! Aaaaa!

#ask #Cayden #pathfinder #monerelurking #answer #oops I just noticed that the questionnaire can be interpreted differently than I did #like the numbered questions should be answered in character oops #that would've been a cool exercise in getting in character but it went over my head

[keefwho]

September 12 - 2023 Tuesday

8:55am

I'm having the thought that I don't want to be seen today. I'm having the thought that I won't be able to live up to my own standards let alone anyone else's. I'm having the thought that it's all too hard and I'll never be able to keep up. I'm having the thought that if I don't figure out who I am, I will be left behind. I'm having the thought that I can't show myself around other people when I'm like this. I feel a sinking sensation in my chest. It makes me want to stop trying. It makes me want to hide until it goes away.

3:05pm

What I'm "changing" right now is instead of giving into the urges to scroll twitter, turn on a Twitch stream, or join a discord VC to distract myself, I'm sticking to nothing but music to occupy me while I do my afternoon work. These urges I have aren't things I really want to do, they are just a means to escape how I feel about myself right now. I trick myself sometimes by thinking it's always a good thing to be around people, it means I'm growing a relationship with them. But that might not be true. I struggle to put my heart into most people so spending time with them is more of a chore than anything and because of that I think nothing is really grown or nourished. The truth is right now I feel inadequate and am very likely to self sabotage any activity I pursue. Maybe I just need to sit with myself until I'm in a state more ready to take action.

11:15pm

First of all I'm late to bed because I felt the need to take care of myself more out of stress relief than anything. Probably shouldn't have just because of how late it is. I think really I just wanted to feel something good today.

I had turkey spam, green beans and carrots, and spicy ramen for breakfast. It's one of my favorites. I set up the Vortex mod manager so I can start looking into Starfield mods. I was a little late to stream because I was deciding whether or not I wanted to stream today at all and I decided to which I regretted. I just didn't want to interact today, I felt upset at myself for lots of things and didn't want to show it. Work went VERY slow and my stepdad called me out to help him move big logs halfway through which was annoying. I do like the manual labor sometimes though. I stopped my stream halfway through and very slowly finished it off stream, although I still did it within the maximum time frame. I felt terrible for my performance today.

I cleaned up a little my putting away my clothes and taking the garbage out/cleaning the garbage area. I have a bad habit of half assing cleaning surfaces, I'm learning to do it more properly which does take more time. So I did that and felt pretty good about it. Lunch was fish sticks with mac n cheese and a pear cup. I watched some Chris Chan during my lunch break.

The request today was from someone who had lied to me about their age awhile back in a dangerous way but they are of age now and are a patreon of mine. Today Daisy mentioned how I should have blocked them whenever that happened and I should have, even my friend Bramble said that closer to the time it happened. I wish I did too but I was in an interesting place where I was trying not to cross my business and personal life. Obviously in hindsight even my business should not be associated with someone like that but at the time I had cut them from my social life and allowed them to come back when they turned 18 to start paying me for art again if they wanted. In the end it kinda worked out but I do still feel weird about having them around. But they only talk to me as an artist, I have no desire to actually hang out with them.

I made good progress on this old MLP pic of mine again, it should be done tomorrow. I'm trying to start a new habit where I specify the project I'm going to work on earlier in the day so that I'm not left choosing when the time comes.

After work I played some Starfield until Daisy wanted to play Just Dance. It was a short session because we were so tired. Then we hopped into my server VC which I was looking forward to until a very annoying guy joined and the uncomfortable individual I just wrote about. Daisy wanted me to stream Mother 3 for her which I was happy to do even though I was just grinding the same enemies over and over for awhile. I didn't have anything else I wanted to do specifically so it was okay. The call sucked though because those 2 guys where giving me a headache and wouldn't shut up for half the time. I barely said anything the whole time.

Daisy and I chatted a little bit while she was in bed afterwards. I opened up a little bit about how things have gotten more intense lately and how scary it is, but in a good way. I feel relieved that it's being talked about in this capacity finally, it's like I've been holding myself back because I didn't know if my feelings were being reciprocated as much as they are. I still don't feel like that but that's either because I still need to process it or its my long term issue of self doubt. Either way I consciously know what is true and that gives me the opportunity to make myself believe it.

Today I was very moody in general. I was frustrated and sad at a lot of things. In general I feel like I'm not making as much progress as I want. I've literally failed in the sense that I haven't done a good job of refining my behavior to invoke actual change. I'm still chilling in my comfort zone and I know I am. In some ways I'm afraid to take action and get better because any change is scary to me. Sometimes I feel like it's not worth it even trying because again I think it's impossible for me to be good.

My current formula is to keep trying anything I think of to see it's effects. It's been a lot of experimentation which brings a lot of failure but I cant lose sight that anything I try will teach me something. My current priority of sticking to my schedule and finishing certain projects is being undermined by my lack of self praise for actually doing these things. I think I need to redirect my focus from just getting things done to realizing what I have gotten done. I tend to do things and move on like I never even did them. It's no wonder I feel bad basically convincing myself that I did nothing of note when I actually did.

Another one of my ideas to try is to make a hierarchy of sorts for the kinds of things I can do and the requirements that precede them. To most people this would seem weird and maybe it is but I might be autistic af and this might be my solution. I need to write things down for later or else I will always forget it and repeat the same cycles over and over again.

Edit: I meant to add noting at least one positive thing I did today to counter how I always evaluate my negative thoughts in the morning. Today despite feeling so bad, I did get my schedule done in it's entirety which is impressive. Hours of work got done.

#journal #diary #thoughts #moody #upset #bad day #sad #getting better #self growth