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ncssian · 3 years

Text

A Favor: Part Nine

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: reading canon eris discourse literally makes me dizzy but in this fic he's pretty chill

***

“Any plans for Thanksgiving?” Emerie asks as they stroll between the shelves of the library.

Nesta runs her finger down the spine of a textbook on corporate law. “Not really,” she murmurs distantly.

She’s been doing her best not to think of the upcoming holidays, in fact. Cassian is going to Velaris for Thanksgiving, and of course Feyre invited Nesta as well, but…

She’s always ignored her sister’s holiday invites, but this year is different. Cassian, a recent constant in her life, will be gone, enjoying himself for the first time in months without her presence. And Nesta will be at the cabin alone, because of course she can’t celebrate Thanksgiving with Feyre’s found family. Being friends with Cassian hasn’t changed that.

“Well,” Emerie is saying, “a bunch of us can’t go home for the holidays for one reason or another, so we’re hosting a small Friendsgiving at my apartment. You’re invited.”

Nesta glances at her, surprised. “Who’s going to be there?”

“The same guys from drinks night: Eris, Justinian, Isaac. Maybe a plus one or two if we’re lucky.” She elbows Nesta. “Maybe a girl for me to take home.”

“I thought the party was at your home already?”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, are you coming?”

Nesta purses her lips. “But you said it was a Friendsgiving. Those guys aren’t my friends.”

Emerie looks at her like she's insane. “Uh, why not?”

“Because,” Nesta states, “we’ve only had one real interaction all semester.”

Emerie scoffs. “You talk to them all the time in class, Nesta.”

“Yes. Out of necessity.”

Emerie raises a high brow. “That’s how you view spending time with us? A ‘necessity’?”

She’s upset, and Nesta doesn’t know what she said wrong. “That’s not what I meant,” she tries to say.

“Then what did you mean?”

“I just…” Nesta shrugs. “I thought it took more to make friends than a single night out.” Those are the rules, right?

Emerie narrows her dark eyes at her. “I’m sorry we’re not up to standard, then. But for your information, those guys liked you. I’m sure they considered you a friend.” She turns to leave, but Nesta is so stunned she can’t even try to stop her. The click of Emerie’s heels resonate long after she’s gone.

“Hey,” Cassian comes up to her later that day. “About Thanksgiving—”

Nesta drops her dinner plate onto the island with a clatter. “What is it with everybody and Thanksgiving?” Her voice is unnecessarily loud.

Cassian blinks. “Well, it’s only a few days away—”

“I know,” she says. “I’m fine staying home alone. We never celebrated Thanksgiving growing up, you know? It’s really not a big deal.”

“Will you let me finish, Nesta?”

Nesta presses her lips together.

Cassian takes a breath. “I think you should— I would really love it if you came to Velaris with me this weekend.”

There’s a silence as he waits for her to answer.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says after a moment.

Before he can press the subject, she blurts, “I already have plans.”

“You do?” Nesta can’t tell if he sounds disappointed or surprised.

She straightens her back, lying through her teeth, “Yes. Some friends from school are getting together for a Friendsgiving, and I’m going.” She almost bites her tongue on the word friends. She doesn’t even know what that means anymore.

“That’s amazing,” Cassian says, though he still looks a little taken aback. “I’m glad.” He looks down at the marble counter then, trying to smile. “Sucks for me, though.”

Nesta huffs a laugh. “Please, like you won’t be having fun with your friends whether I’m there or not.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but why go for half the fun when I could go for double?”

“That’s not how math works,” she snipes.

Cassian grabs a fork so he can sit down across from Nesta. “Don’t you ever bring up correct math in this house again.” He points his silverware at her threateningly.

From there, they can devolve into their usual dinner habit of bantering that leads to more serious conversation. Cassian has recently been on a French movie binge, Nesta learns, and even though she despises the French, she listens closely to his analysis of each film and offers her own thoughts back. She even promises to rewatch one or two of his favorites at a later time. The giddiness he gives in return makes her almost wish she had accepted his invitation earlier, if only so she could keep making him happy.

God. What is he doing to her?

Later that night, Nesta pulls out her phone and opens up her messages with Emerie. She doesn’t want to have rejected Cassian just to end up staying home alone all weekend. She types out five different messages and erases them before settling on an apathetic, Is the invite for Thursday still on?

Emerie takes her time to reply, likely to punish Nesta. After some minutes, she finally texts, Yes.

It’s all she can expect from Emerie, and it’s all she needs to see.

Nesta: I’ll be there.

***

“Cassian!” Feyre swings open the door with an overjoyed smile, ready to greet him.

He laughs and steps in for a hug, going so far as to lift her feet off the floor. Because damn him, even with his conflicted feelings towards Feyre lately, he’s missed her. He’s missed all of his friends, even though he’s found something precious while he was away from them.

He’s ushered into the penthouse, which Feyre and Rhys insist on calling an “apartment”, as if that softens the blow of their extravagant wealth. Cassian and everybody else goes along with it, however, because the rich have committed worse crimes. At least that’s what Nesta says.

“Rhys is out getting last minute beer from the gas station,” Feyre says as she takes his overnight bag. “And you’re the first to arrive, which means I have you all to myself.�� She whirls on him with a predatory gleam in her eye. “Tell me everything about the last two months with you and Nesta, ASAP.”

Cassian’s heart starts racing at the unexpected interrogation, but he laughs it off and shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just roommates.”

“Well, I know that.” Feyre rolls her eyes. “But what is it like? How is it going? Is she okay? Are you okay?”

Before he can answer a single question, Feyre goes on. “I haven’t heard from either of you in eons, it feels like. Is Nesta still picky about her foods touching? Does she get upset when you play music too loud? Does she—”

“Jesus, Feyre,” Cassian interrupts loudly. “Not everything in my life is about your sister. Give it a rest.” He takes his duffel bag back from her.

“I’m just curious!” she says indignantly, but Cassian is already heading up the winding stairs to his guest room, going as fast as he can without outright running.

“I need to get washed up!” he announces before Feyre can make him stop and come back for more questioning.

In the safety of his bedroom, he releases a breath.

If Cassian thought keeping Nesta’s health issues from Feyre was difficult, he couldn’t have predicted how painful it would be to hide his feelings for Nesta. Still, he doesn’t dare expose what he can’t yet define, especially not to his nosy-ass friends. Some things just aren’t matters for gossip.

***

Nesta hesitantly enters Emerie’s small studio apartment to a party in full swing; “full swing” being Justinian and Isaac playing video games on the couch while Emerie is in the kitchen area attempting to make drinks. Nesta stops near the kitchenette and crosses her arms, surveying the scene. “Something about this doesn’t look right,” she says aloud. Emerie doing the hard work while the men play? Antithetical to her very nature.

“I know,” is all Emerie says without looking up from whatever hellish concoction she’s whipping up. “But I’m the host, so this is my role.”

“Hey, Nesta,” the guys speak up together, not taking their eyes off the TV. Isaac is the first to break his concentration from the game, glancing at Nesta and doing a double take. “Woah, you look good today.” Is he blushing?

Emerie finally looks up at that, eyeing Nesta’s modest black dress. “A little funeral-chic, but still hot as ever, babe.” Right after, she makes a face at the term babe. “Nope, I tried it and I hate it.”

Nesta hates it just as much, but goes over to help Emerie with what she now realizes are oddly colored Jello shots. She picks up a little plastic cup with dark jelly in it and wiggles it around. “What color is this supposed to be?”

“Brown.” Emerie blows a piece of escaped hair out of her face. “They were supposed to be Thanksgiving themed.”

Nesta surveys the shots arranged in various fall colors. Definitely an interesting choice for a twenty-four year old law student, but what did Nesta know about parties?

“Where’s Eris?” she asks casually as she helps arrange more cups. Her argument with Emerie is far from forgotten, but the two women are too alike for their own good. They’ll ignore the lingering tension until it dissipates, and that will be the end of that.

Before Emerie can answer Nesta’s question, a loud bang comes from the entryway as the already open door hits the wall. Eris Vanserra sweeps inside in his designer coat and sophisticated boots, followed by a new, striking face. “It’s fucking freezing,” he announces, just as the new guy quietly shuts the door behind them.

“You’re late,” Emerie says in her usual flat tone.

“I had to pick up my twerp brother.” Eris tilts his head toward the redhead behind him.

“I didn’t ask to come,” the new guy, Eris’s brother, chimes in.

Nesta is perked up now, angling to get a better look at him. Same hair color, same eyes, different skin tone from Eris. He looks like the relaxed, unpretentious version of his brother. Someone pauses the video game.

“I’m Lucien,” he awkwardly raises a hand.

Justinian looks at everybody else. “I’m confused— does this mean we can finally replace Eris’s punk ass?”

The thought of an unexpected guest first makes Nesta clench up, especially when she’s seated right next to the damn guy at the dining table. New people means everything about the regular social routine will be changed up, and she isn’t at all prepared for it.

It takes maybe fifteen minutes for her to realize that Lucien is nothing to worry about— much quicker than she’s ever warmed up to a stranger before.

He has the affected quiet confidence of someone who would rather be anywhere else but here. No one knows that mask better than Nesta.

Against all odds, she’s the first to initiate a conversation.

“Why are you here?” she says bluntly.

No hello, no how are you. Fuck, this is why she doesn’t talk to people.

Lucien looks surprised at the sudden acknowledgment, but answers, “My plans got cancelled at the last minute.” His mouth tightens as he looks toward his brother. “So Eris dragged me here instead.”

“You don’t like your brother?”

Lucien narrows his eyes at her, defensive. “Is this an interrogation or something?”

Embarrassment heats Nesta’s face, but she hides it under her usual cold stare. “Never mind.”

She turns back to her food, refocusing on an anecdote Isaac is giving about a girl he met the other week. A moment later, Lucien says lowly, “I can’t stand my brother.”

She laughs a little too loudly at that, and everyone looks at her.

Isaac grins. “See, Nesta thinks it’s a funny story.”

Nesta frowns. “No, I don’t. You told it last week and no one laughed.”

His face falls. Eris laughs out loud at him, and Emerie tosses wadded up napkins at both men. “You’re both deeply uninteresting. Let’s talk about me.”

She launches into a heated discussion about how she plans to defeat “that bitch Brian” for the internship at Velaris’s biggest law firm next summer, with Eris interjecting that she wouldn’t survive a day in the big city. Nesta turns back to Lucien. “I understand how you feel.”

“You hate Eris too?”

“No, but I have sisters.” Eris is nice, if a pretentious asshole at times, but she empathizes with Lucien either way.

He raises a brow. “And you’re here for Thanksgiving instead of with them?”

For the first time all night, Nesta remembers that Cassian is having fun in a spacious penthouse with Feyre and Elain and the others, likely eating much nicer food than store-bought turkey and Jello shots, and she almost deflates. Almost. Because as much as she enjoys this— spending time with people that belong to her, not Feyre or anybody else— there’s a hollow space in the room that Cassian usually fills. She doesn’t know how she can miss someone and be this thoroughly content at the same time, but she tries not to ponder on her feelings.

She shrugs at Lucien’s question. “We’re all here instead of with our families.”

What would have been a thirty-minute meal on Nesta’s own stretches into a long night of full bellies and fuller conversation. Justinian demands a toast in honor of Friendsgiving, and Emerie tells him not to pull that cringy shit, but everyone ends up raising their small Jello shots to clink against each other.

Thanksgiving might be Nesta’s favorite holiday.

***

Cassian doesn’t know what this feeling is: the itching, nervy sense of impatience that plagues him the longer dinner drags on. All he knows is that tonight Mor’s laughter is just a little too loud, and Amren’s quips are just a little too sharp, and Rhys’s stories aren’t very interesting for once.

Nothing about his friends have changed, but somehow, Cassian feels different. Empty. He can’t stop thinking about what Nesta is doing right now.

He checks his phone under the table for the sixth time in three minutes, for what, he doesn’t know. Maybe she’s in trouble and needs his help. Maybe she’s having a bad night and wants to talk to him. Maybe she’s just bored and thinking about him.

None of this is true, evidently, because his phone remains dead silent.

“Cassian.” It’s Elain’s gentle voice that draws him out of his head. “What’s it like having a roommate for once? I know you and Nesta love being alone.”

He nearly jumps out of his skin. “Alone? No we don’t. Why would we love being alone together?”

Elain looks at him like he’s grown a new head. “I didn’t mean alone together. It’s just that you’ve always spent your time boarded up in that mountain cabin on your own, and before Nesta moved in, she wouldn’t leave her apartment even to see me.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Feyre butts in. She whirls to Cassian with her hands under her chin. “All this time I was wondering what you and Nesta living together would be like, and I didn’t even consider you guys avoiding each other.”

Cassian scoffs a laugh but doesn’t know how to respond. He just wants Feyre and Elain to stop poking at this raw, fresh thing in his life before his nerves get worse, so he turns to Amren and brings up the thing he knows will shut everyone down: work. “How much longer is Rhys gonna have you playing double agent at Adriatic?” She’s been acting as brand ambassador to the West Coast-based conglomerate for the past five months, playing nice while gathering information on Night Court Inc.’s biggest competitor.

Groans resound around the table, but Amren’s eyes brighten frightfully. “If he keeps me there any longer, I might end up staying for good.”

Rhysand smiles thinly. “Amren has a crush on their new CFO. If she keeps going on about Varian’s pretty face I might pull her out of Adriatic by the end of the year.”

Just as Cassian is about to convince himself to care, his phone vibrates in his hand. Everything tunes out as he sees Nesta’s name on the screen, attached to a new text. He clicks into it.

A picture of Nesta and her friends around a dinner table pops up, smiling and laughing. His heart catches in his throat at the image.

“What did we say about phones during dinner, Cassian?” Rhysand interrupts just then.

Cassian stands up quickly, stammering, “Uh, I just need to answer this call— it’s important.” Azriel is staring up at him like he’s lost his mind, but Cassian doesn’t notice or care as he rushes out of the room with his phone in a death grip, overcome.

Alone in a hallway bathroom, he lets himself look at the picture again, hungrily absorbing every detail he couldn’t catch the first time around: her face is flushed and her hair is down, wilder than usual. Her smile is so rarely genuine that it kills him a little just to see it; he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or pained that she’s having such a good time, that she isn’t missing him like he’s missing her. A sharp-faced girl that Cassian assumes is Emerie is holding the camera, likely having stolen Nesta’s phone to demand a picture, and the two women are surrounded by guys he doesn’t recognize. Except—

The face beside Nesta’s catches Cassian’s attention, and he clicks to zoom in. “Is that Lucien Vanserra?” he mutters.

Elain’s ex gets to hang out with Nesta while he doesn’t? This is fucked.

He doesn’t have a reason for his actions as he shoves his phone into his pocket and exits the bathroom. He just knows he needs to get out of here, away from this place that’s so far from Nesta’s heart.

His keys and coat hang near the front door, and he can hear Feyre’s voice from the dining room. “Cassian? Where are you—”

The door slams behind him before she can finish.

***

Being the only one who refused to get drunk off Jello shots, Eris offers to drive Nesta home for the night.

While Lucien is passed out in the backseat without a care in the world, Nesta is so awake she can feel her nerves buzzing. She knows as soon as she leaves this car, the bittersweet loneliness that comes after a party will set in, but for now…

What a night. She sighs and lets her head fall back against the seat, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Damn,” Eris lets out a low whistle as he pulls up to the mountain cabin. “This is your place?”

She lifts her head, realizing she’s home. “Ah. It’s only a temporary living situation,” she explains. “It’s my— friend’s place.”

“Friend or sugar daddy?” Eris smirks.

Nesta scowls, grabbing her stuff and pushing open the door to leave. It’s not Eris’s fault she’s unable to take a joke about Cassian, but that doesn’t change the sensitivity of the topic.

“Hey, wait—” he calls after her.

She pauses to look back at him. He hesitates, then says, “Good night.”

“Take care of your brother,” she directs. Stepping out of his fancy car, she shuts the door and raises a hand in goodbye, watching him pull away from the cabin.

Alone in the driveway, Nesta stands under the moonlight for a long moment, letting the chill seep into her bones. She’s dawdling.

She pauses again at the front door, her hand on the doorknob. The dreaded loneliness is already coming over her, crawling over her skin and making a home in the cage of her ribs.

A whole weekend without Cassian.

Maybe she should have asked Emerie if she could stay over for the night, but a part of her knows it would have been futile. Emerie can’t replace Cassian’s constant presence, no matter how much Nesta likes her.

It’s only three days. She steels herself and unlocks the door, prepared to be greeted by darkness and hollow silence.

The first thing she notices when she steps inside is the sound of crackling, followed by a warm glow from the living area. The lights are all off, but the fireplace is ablaze.

Nesta’s brows furrow, confused, but then she sees on the couch— “Cassian?”

***

a/n: i know justinian and isaac are names for side characters that sjm has used before but in this case they're completely different ocs.

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja

#a favor #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #ncssianwrites #nessian fic #nessian au

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elriel-oblivion · 3 years

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Okay here's the thing.. I respect everyone's opinions and they can ship whoever they want but like... For Elucien and Gwynriel... I literally cannot even see how. I would gladly ship them if someone gave me a valid reason. Elain avoids talking or even being in the same room as Lucien, and Azriel had one polite conversation with Gwyn. Az is just nice to her. As nice as he would be to any female. Elriel has foreshadowing & chemistry- The roses painted on her drawer and the rose necklace...👀

Strongly agree with all of this!! My main problem with anything that's not elriel is that a lot of anti-elriel shippers completely ignore or erase Elain. With these ships, it's always what benefits Elain does or doesn't bring. It's so misogynistic, people just ignore everything she's mentioned about her own heart and how she doesn't want a mate or the bond, she doesn't care for it, but oh Lucien's had such a hard life, he deserves his mate!!!!!

😒😒😒

Surely he deserves someone who wants him as much as he wants them, no?

Non-elriel-endgame with the canon we currently have would mean Elain's choices are stripped once again since she'd have to give up/lose the love she actually wants in favour of one she doesn't want that's attached to some cultural concept that means zilch to her and her human heart. I mean, sure sjm could spin it so Elain catches feelings for Lucien and they end up happily mated. But then what is the point of having Elain constantly avoid him for three books? That's not even setting up for a good relationship bc every time they interact/meet, the communication just gets worse.

While I can honestly see the potential of gwynriel bc platonic interactions can later become romantic, I still don't ship it bc it doesn't feel right the way elriel does to me. I can def see gwynriel becoming a strong healthy friendship, but if it's endgame then Elain ends up with Lucien, whom she visibly shrinks from and has been avoiding since acowar. She doesn't feel seen by him at all - as much as I love Lucien and truly do want him to have his own HEA, we can't deny that he's really just pursuing (I use pursuing in the loosest way since he's very respectful about it 😅) Elain bc of the bond. If we take that away, there's nothing between them imo and he probably wouldn't give Elain more than a passing glance for her beauty and that's it bc she's not the type of girl he's into.

But people don't wanna think about how that makes Elain feel. This girl who previously felt seen by only one person - who then rejected her bc of that bond itself - and craves someone to see who she truly is, is being courted by someone who doesn't actually like her for her, but just the idea of what a relationship with her would entail. He's only trying bc of some divine belief she doesn't share. That must suck like hell. It's almost objectfying, the bond. And again, I don't blame Lucien at all, not even for trying bc it is something that's important to him and his culture, but it's not a mutual thing. If it were important to Elain too and she just wasn't cooperating bc of some stupid shallow reason, then I'd be angry at her. But that's not the case at all.

But with Azriel, the first person to see her since Graysen, there's so much potential for growth - for both of them. They make each other feel seen. And for all that antis say neither has grown in the time they've known each other, how did Az pluck up the courage to almost kiss Elain after having not done anything with Mor for five centuries? How did Elain initiate that kiss - ie have the courage to follow her heart again after having it torn and shredded by Graysen? And anyway, weve never seen into Elain's head so we don't know what she feels has changed within her; we can only detect subtle changes from other povs, but there might be some huge changes in her learnt from Azriel, maybe about her outlook on life/strength, that she's just keeping hidden for the time (or that no one has bothered to see bc Elain is invisible 😭). Same with Azriel. One little chapter isn't gonna tell us everything he's been thinking the past two years.

But either way, we know now that they both have feelings for each other. Why is a mutual healthy relationship shut down so quickly, one where both partners' choices are taken heed of? If Elain had said no in that moment, Azriel would've stepped back instantly, no questions asked. He probably would've have some huge internal conflict about his own self worth but he wouldn't have gone further without Elain's consent. He's already shown he respects her, he said they've been sharing looks and touches, and these are things fandom eat up, so I don't understand why it's suddenly wrong or unwanted just bc Elain makes up half the ship.

And there's so much foreshadowing/symbolism that antis seem oblivious to, which, fair enough, interpret the text how you want. But even if somebody doesn't see the spark or blooming feelings between the pair throughout the books (how do they explain away all the stiffness whenever one of them is mentioned or is in the same room or something though? Genuinely curious here), there's a lot of plot foreshadowing. The Blood Duel has now been mentioned twice, as has the idea of breaking the bond, maybe more. There's the issue with Koschei and Elain not being able to see things related to him past mist and shadow. There's all this potential conflict that could arise between the Courts if elriel pursue their love, and conflict is the driving force of any novel.

If gwynriel were an IRL couple, I wouldn't care if there were never any conflict, but if I'm reading their story, I want more than just them falling in love and having internal conflict about whether they should kiss the other or not. Especially if the backdrop is a fantasy world on the brink of war with many players. I saw a gwynriel post mentioning Merrill once and while I do think she has the potential to be a running antagonist, I don't see her as anything but a subplot/crony for/associate with another stronger villain. I don't think she could carry a whole novel at the moment. So Gwyn is tied to nothing in the overarching plot. Same with Az. Not to mention all the theories about the Koschei/Swan Lake/firebird folklore that is potentially inspiring this new series in the acotar world. Of course, this could all change as we get more info about the next book/s and all, but compared to elriel certainly, I don't think there's as much conflict with gwynriel.

Ultimately, I don't claim knowledge of the next books' content, so I don't really care what people ship, but the main thing I take issue with is how they treat Elain in the midst. A lot of gwynriel arguments I've seen portray certain acts in a romantic/positive light for Gwyn but either completely ignore or erase any semblance of romance for Elain or tear her down. Like, we shouldn't push the narrative that Gwyn as an SA survivor can't have healthy meaningful sex in the future (yeah, of course I agree), yet some of the same people who say that are also people who judge and make fun of Elain and call her too vanilla for Az without having a clue what her bedroom habits/preferences are 🤯 This is just one of many. There are so many double standards I've seen for gwynriel against elriel and I'm just tired of it. And even if they're not doing any of that, they simply hate Elain and don't want her to be with Az and so ship gwynriel as the next best alternative. Like, can they not push down Elain in favour of Gwyn, please? That's so misogynistic 🤮

For all that this fandom flaunts the series being feminist with strong female characters, they sure do a good job in tearing down females who don't fit their definition of strong, despite even Feyre stating and acknowledging multiple times that Elain has a different kind of strength 😒

Gahhhhhhh. *exhales deeeeeeeeply* Sorry this is so damn LONG!! 😅😅😅😅😅 I did not expect to write a whole bloody essay lol but I hope it was fun/comforting to read at least 😅😆 I know I fall back on elriel posts when the ship war gets too intense bc I actually enjoy shipping elriel. They've become my otp, and I absolutely adore both characters of the ship; I think most of us elriels do. I haven't really seen any elriel stans who dislike/don't care for Elain and her welfare so it's nice being in this corner of the fandom where we can appreciate both Az and Elain equally. And of course, the other characters with their due respect. I truly do want Lucien to finally get his good life, but I don't think that's with Elain 😕

#elain archeron #elriel #azriel acotar #elain x azriel #Acotar #Acosf spoilers

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ms-demeanor · 4 years

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I continue to see a lot of takes on Dunn and Parker and I continue to have opinions but I don’t want to add to that already mile-long post, so:

Yes, layouts CAN be plagiarized

I know that not everyone is a huge page design nerd but my job at the local paper was doing page layout and I had a literal stack of awards three feet high for doing page layout for newspapers and magazines in college and my rinky-dink little community college magazine got nominated for the same design award as Harvard’s college magazine did (though neither of us won). I am a big old page design nerd.

And I’ve seen page design plagiarism! It was a thing that came up when I was working at yearbook camp (because I am such a big page design nerd that one of my first jobs out of high school was TAing at a yearbook camp). There’s a difference between being *inspired by* and *straight ripping off* and sometimes people DO straight rip off page layouts.

Now, it would be difficult to say “well, a full bleed double-page photo with a white sans-serif font across it is MY idea, you can’t use it!” because something like that WOULD be pretty fundamental.

But I *would* say “two column layout with long, dense paragraphs and closely-placed, bold headers centrally aligned with ink drawings of pens at a 45 degree angle and illustrations of the types of marks each pen makes” *IS* specific enough that you can say someone copied that design.

But you can’t say that if the person who “copied” the design has a central column of text with short paragraphs that have widely spaced headers which is bracketed by two rows of pens at 45 and 135 degree angles.

So layout plagiarism is a thing but it is not a thing that I see evidence of between these two books.

“But the way they teach these things is identical”

We have maybe two thousand (being generous) words of clear text from Parker’s book. The “application” page is one of those and Dunn specifically comments on Parker’s use of Form and Contour and compares them to his own use of “cross contour”

Now, I *do* have an issue with people saying “there are only so many words you can use to describe fundamentals” because there are thousands of possible ways that you can describe anything and that’s not the issue - the issue is that both of these people are providing DEFINITIONS for terms and definitions, by definition, are definitive.

Contour is a word that has a definition. Mark is a word that has a definition. Variety is a word that has a definition. Form is a word that has a definition. These terms additionally have industry-specific definitions that are even narrower than the decontextualized definitions of the words.

One of the places that Dunn goes most in-depth on this is his discussion of how long it took him to define and articulate what “consistency” means. This is one of the things that people are citing when they say that Parker is teaching the exact same way.

Dunn says “It took me a long time to develop this idea - what you’re seeing here on one page is a distillation of several pages and months of deliberating with myself and deciding and trying to clarify the idea - when you say be consistent, what do you mean?” and came to “spacing, weight, sizing, direction.”

Parker’s page has “[illegible with three bars of different values], Length, [illegible except for the words “far apart” over variably spaced lines], Direction.”

I don’t even know that Parker actually SAYS weight, he may say “shade” or “value” because he word is illegible.

Regardless, here’s a book over a century old talking about how to illustrate texture: Length, weight, spacing, direction. 1899.

NONE of these three things (Dunn’s page “Keep Strokes Consistent,” Parker’s page “Consistently in Lines” and McGinnis’s comment on using varied strokes to render texture) but all three of these things rely on the same principles. Also Dunn has repeatedly said that his page on consistency is part of his chapter on shading and Parker’s is in a chapter called “Style and Technique.” In fact Dunn criticizes Parker for putting this in the wrong place because he (Parker) doesn’t understand where it goes and put it in the wrong place because he stole it without understanding it.

FROM WHAT HAS BEEN SHOWN SO FAR OF BOTH BOOKS these are not identical teaching styles. If there is significant overlap beyond sequencing and common terms it’s difficult to tell because we can’t read it; but it’s also frustrating to see Dunn’s sober, clear, technical drawing book held up as identical to one that seems to be narrated by cartoon bears. That alone should suggest that the underlying pedagogy is different.

But the sequence is too exact!

One of the examples of this that people are really harping on is the flip-through from Materials (with the illustration of pens), Additional materials (with the pencil, eraser, rulers, and dust brush), and then the movement to pen control.

Here’s page 10 of “Drawing with Pen and Ink,” in the chapter about requisite materials.

Here is page 12, with an eraser and ruler:

Here is page 17 with inkholders and a dust brush:

That is immediately followed by pen handling (so, you know, control):

Then into basic strokes:

Then into how to vary a stroke:

I don’t know what the exact sequence of Style and Technique is in Parker’s book is because we’ve only seen a few isolated pages, but here’s the ToC for Arthur L. Guptill’s “Drawing with Pen and Ink” from 1928

And here’s the ToC for Dunn’s “Pen and Ink Drawing”

The sequence of “Drawing in Pen and Ink” for chapters 1-9 and the sequence of the first three chapters of “Pen & Ink Drawing” have a huge amount of overlap - the rest of the books do too, but the introductory chapters especially are REMARKABLY similar.

Here’s the table of contents of Pen Drawing, an Illustrated Treatise, from 1899:

Does this mean that Alphonso Dunn plagiarized his work? Of course not! And I saw some comments on the other post I made about Julianna Kunstler needing some credit but, really, she doesn’t. This is just really, really, really standard technique stuff that is super common.

For the record, here are some value studies in gradient boxes from nearly a hundred years ago.

#long post #very long post

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davidmann95 · 3 years

Note

So... Crossover #1: any thoughts?

Anonymous said: You seemed not to think much of Crossover #1 on Twitter. Your full thoughts?

wcwit said: So Cates' Crossover #1, best bad comic of the year or just regular pretentious trash?

An incidental note upfront: What you’re seeing there is the apparently SUPER-RARE SECRET VARIANT COVER I unwittingly picked up at the store - at first glance indistinguishable from the standard cover, the kid getting four-color-fucked by mysterious comic book rays is in fact themselves reading a variant cover of the book, rather than the main cover again in an infinite painting-within-a-painting sort of deal that’s the standard.

So I wasn’t gonna get this: my initial post on the comic and what an obviously awful idea it was back when we only knew half the premise and it was known as Pray The Capes Away actually got some out-of-nowhere traction recently, and I’ve grown rapidly tired of Cates’ Marvel work. Even learning that it was going to be Image’s biggest debut in decades - Jesus fuck, how and why - mostly just made me wish it was Commanders in Crisis getting those kinds of numbers. But Sean Dillon/@deathchrist2000 and Ritesh Babu both got early looks at it and assured me that I, specifically, needed to see the last page, so in I dove. I’ll be posting my reaction to the last page below because I recorded it for their amusement, and below that I’ll talk about said last page. It may surprise you, however, that that wasn’t my main takeaway from the issue.

Let’s accentuate the positive first! This book is gorgeous. Geoff Shaw was terrific back with Thanos Wins, but this is an incredible stylistic level-up aided and abetted by Dee Cunniffe’s colors: it’s rote as hell to say “They mix the elevated and the mundane so well!”, but even beyond the obvious ben-day dots stuff there’s such a tangible sense that the comic book beings don’t belong here, that they’re of higher, misty, platonic stuff and we squishy non-paper-people inevitably crumble and break and bleed in their wake, communicating that big idea so much more powerfully than the actual loads of text on the subject. And if we’re talking good things, I’ll concede it’s possible that there could be subtleties that play out in more interesting ways as it goes on, and that not everything is meant to be taken at face value: a smart friend who actually did like it mentioned being interested in it as clumsy but potentially effective exploration of ‘what if the fun hobby you had inadvertently became contaminated and stigmatized by forces beyond your control?’ In a post-Comicsgate world where we recently ended up inches away from the Superman logo almost certainly becoming a fascist propaganda symbol ala the Punisher skull for at least a generation, that’s a defensible lens to view this book through.

For all Donny Cates’ legitimate talents however, I don’t think an expectation of subtlety is gonna work out with this one.

Okay first off getting into the rest of it the main characters’ name is Ellipsis because “Those three little dots...they can become anything”, so there’s that. More importantly, in the world of this story where comic fans face social oppression after superpeople materialize and fuck up Colorado, they face EVERY KIND OF OPPRESSION: there are clear parallels drawn in here to the violence and harassment faced by people persecuted for their religion, people seeking abortions, queer people, and people of color; this motherfucker even drops a “hates and fears” to let us know comic collecting basically makes you one of the goddamn X-Men. Which in theory could be a purely misjudged allegory rather than stemming from actual, obscenely inflated to the point of disgusting fears of ‘nerd oppression’, except that the book literally opens with a quote from Wertham. If Cates didn’t want to make the message “Hating comics? That’s bad. Like, racism bad”, he utterly, grotesquely failed by inextricably intermingling imagery of real-world bigotry with systemic, deluded fanboy paranoia, at least as of this first issue that’s supposed to meaningfully convey the premise. As a queer dude I think I’m somewhat in my lane to say it’s too blunt and broad and dopey to be particularly offensive, but the co-opting of oppression is what this is rooted in.

The idea of ‘comics good no matter what people think, ain’t it?’ extends to the last traditional local comic store standing in this world: much as superheroes are the primary cause of suffering in this world but the point of the story is still supposed to reveal the beauty in them, part of this is that the comics community isn’t perfect but it sure is great. Which is expressed here via Ellie’s boss Otto, a loveable asshole who yells at people coming in trying to sell the wrong kind of comics to fuck off, but at heart is we’re supposed to understand a good enough dude that the shop he runs is “the only home a lot of (the benighted nerds) have left” (because I guess in this alternate universe the physical stores are still the main hub through which comics fans talk with one another?).

So here’s a story of my very own! That’s me in 2013, it must’ve been some kind of special day because I’m wearing a shirt with a button. I’d at that point only frequented one of what would be my thus far four regular comic shops. The first was a great place, and while to say I had a sense of community there would be overstating it a bit, I was on really good terms with the owner and we regularly chatted when we had the time. When I left for college my store there wasn’t as well-stocked, and for some damn reason all variant covers were double-price, but I got along really well with the owner there too. The third I wasn’t so lucky; the guy regularly behind the desk was never overtly hostile, but clearly wanted to wring my neck every time I asked when a missing comic might get in or if I could update my pull list, and given I’m in the ‘ideal’ demographic for being a comic book store regular and was dropping a solid lump of money there every week, I wonder how others were treated there (the store nearly went under, was saved on the last day of operation by another store that wanted to incorporate it as part of its franchise, then shortly afterwards DID go under and is now I believe a beef jerky place). My current store is fine, I didn’t chat much with the folks behind the counter even before we all had medical incentive to get in and out of places fairly quickly but it almost always has what I’m looking for.

Just because those were my regular stores of course doesn’t mean those are the only ones I’ve ever gone to. About a year before that picture was taken - it’s the closest I could find - when I was 17 my store didn’t have something or another I was looking for, so I head across town to see if another place I had looked up had it. This other place didn’t have what I was looking for either, though I distinctly remember picking up a few issues of Hickman’s FF while I was there since I had foolishly fallen off, hence my remembering the year. I bought a couple issues, but hung around for a bit looking to see if I might grab something else out of a dollar box, setting my comics down. Without realizing it, I’d set my books down on top of another issue, and when I decided I wasn’t getting anything else, I just picked that up along with the rest of the pile and was about to walk out before the owner stopped me. He explained what I had done though assumed it had been deliberate, and because I was a good-hearted little geek I even recall thinking “Well, he’s gonna chew me out, but I guess I deserve it. I’ll try and take this to heart as a learning experience.”

Then he pulled up his shirt a little to show me the gun on his belt. He pointed at the security camera monitors at his desk, and explained to me that if I ever did something like that again, he would have it on tape, and he would pull that gun on me and hold me there while he called the cops.

As it turned out, the comic was free.

The whole thing was so sudden and bizarre and unexpected I didn’t actually freak out until the drive home. It wasn’t until weeks or maybe months later that I managed to tell my dad about the experience, because I *had* nearly stolen a (free) comic and my guilt was mixed in with my nerves and I guess I was somehow too close to register just how disproportionate his response was. It wasn’t until now, nearly a decade later and thinking about it for the first time in a long time as I write this, that I wondered if that might have gone differently - especially living in the midwest - if I hadn’t been a white, squeaky-voiced 17-year-old.

So, minor spoiler, when our cantankerous but well-meaning LCS owner yells to call the cops and grabs and yells at a small kid for pocketing a comic (and later displays fantasy racism towards said kid), I am not filled with nostalgic love for the brotherly safe space that is comic book stores, where this guy while not meant to be seen as perfect is still framed in part as a charming, witty representation of Why We Love These Places, And This Community, And This Genre, And This Medium. Cates is clearly drawing on real time at his local stores, but he equally clearly has a very different takeaway from those experiences than me. And I am, again, in a demographic - white, cis-male, abled, bi but more interested in women, disposable income, a lifelong collector - that the industry and a lot of the guys who sell it to us contort themselves around catering to, even if I had a single very negative experience and later an ongoing low-key uncomfortable one to help disabuse me of any notions of the purity of the dork community. In the world of Crossover as of #1, toxicity is intertwined, deliberately or not on the part of the creators, with what we love on the cosmic and small business scales alike, but at least in the latter case it’s the whole picture that’s beautiful, not any single kernel that needs to be worked on to be dug up.

So underneath is my video reaction to the last page of Crossover #1. Very minor spoilers because I mutter the last two words of the comic to myself, but under the video I discuss said final page and some other scattered thoughts. Whether you read that or not, my takeaway is this: I’m fascinated with wherever the hell this thing is going, I’m glad my dad liked it well enough to want to keep getting it because now I’ll get to see where it heads, but my first impression is that this is at heart meant as cheapass Oscar-bait for people who only read Batman. It’s big and high-concept but also small and intimate! It’s meta and about how great you, the reader are for your consumption, especially the consumption of this! It’s going to be in large part about a forbidden love between a couple divided across impermeable social lines (a couple where they’re a seemingly straight white man and woman, but one likes comics)! Maybe it’ll become Not That, and I’m sure it’ll do at least something interesting along the way because Cates has done good stuff before and there are some inherently interesting big ideas for him to play with here, but for the love of god if you’re thinking about getting this buy Commanders in Crisis too or instead, it’s another new book out of Image about superheroes dealing with the collapse of the multiverse but that one is really fucking good.

So the final page splash reveal is that when the comic book child discovered in here got out of Colorado, which has had an impenetrable energy shield erected around it by one of the heroes for years, she and others were ferried out of there...by Superman, as the narration declares that “This is a story...about hope.” They don’t say the word, but she sketches her savior, Ellie and Otto freak out and go “Is that---” when they see it, and on that last page we see that while a crude drawing it isn’t a rough analogue character, it’s a guy with a cape and trunks with an S on his chest. Surprisingly, I don’t have much to say: it’s just another blunt signifier that superheroes rule and are the best, paired with the most utterly devalued notion as of late of what makes Superman special in ‘hope’. I mean, I’m perversely excited to see whether this is building the entire series on a hook it can never deliver on, or if Cates actually has talked DC into an intercompany crossover; believable given they’ve done a bunch of those over the last several years, and why else would Mark Waid be supervising as ‘story editor’ on this? I guess it’ll shake out one way or another with #6 given Cates has said it “has one of the more epic and — I would argue historic — sequences in comic book history in it.” But I’m far less convinced this is gonna truly go into the meaty question of “What does Superman mean and what makes him unique in this world where superheroes in general are indisputably either failures or monstrous bastards given the scale of destruction their presence has brought about, and he himself failed to stop that?” than as some kind of holy grail of how great superheroes are despite how dang violent they’ve gotten these days for the crew to chase after, whatever additional twist will surely be placed upon it. At least he’s kinda helping an immigrant kid get over a wall, if that’s deliberate?

Random final thoughts:

* If I wrote the opening essay and turned it in in a college course, I would be expelled for plagiarizing Grant Morrison. This is not a joke.

* If mainstream American superhero comics ended January 2017 in this universe, its own last ‘crossover’ was Civil War II, which is hilarious.

* God, please tell me if it takes the dive after all that this isn’t somehow tied into whatever Waid’s Superman project is.

* I wouldn’t normally crap on issues with the finer details of worldbuilding, but A. This is rooted in a nominally ‘real’ world playing by recognizable rules, B. I’m ragging on this anyway so what’s the harm, and C. It’s really obvious. So: Why is one of the racists against the superheroes the guy who loves superheroes so much he’s the last holdout in the entire world still selling comic books about them? How does this modestly-sized shop exist long-term with apparently a significant regular customer base if there are no new comics or even reprints to restock with, ever? Who’s buying the serialized cop/cowboy comics that the U.S. government apparently created pretty much overnight (nobody, it’s just another Wertham dig)?

* The solicit for issue #3 proclaims “Don't miss this one, folks. If you do, it just might drive you...mad.”, so now I fear some kind of Ultra Comics riff.

* “Kids love chains” is the most metal-ass quote of all time and I hate that it’s being wasted as an arc title on this book.

#Donny Cates #Geoff Shaw #Dee Cunniffe #John J. Hill #Mark Waid #Me #Superman #Opinion

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beauodie · 3 years

Text

Falling For You || Beaumee

pairing - beau odie & @aimeeblake

time - the beginning of july 2021 (like the 11th-ish, give or take)

setting - aimee and dj’s apartment

summary - beau worries that telling aimee he loves her via text ruined a milestone moment for them as a couple, so he goes to see her in person with gifts in tow to make it up to her; suffice to say it backfires and crashes and burns, almost literally.

Beau didn't know exactly how he'd upset his girlfriend, or even if she actually was upset or just confused, but what he did know was that, as a boyfriend, he needed to do better. Deciding that her issue had been with the word 'love', he had to take some action. After all, maybe using the word 'love' so casually in a text had been the problem. Beau had been essentially saying that he loved Aimee in different words ever since they got together, but it was the first time he'd used the actual L-word and in a text definitely wasn't special enough. Aimee was a romantic who swooned over vampires who had eternal love, and he'd messed up a milestone moment. He had to try and fix it.

That's why he was headed over to her room with a bouquet of her favorite flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates that spelled out "I LOVE YOU" inside with different small treats in the other, to make the moment up to her. He got to the door and knocked with his elbow, smiling excitedly. He'd had some nerves on the way over but now that he was here, it was just pure adrenaline that he was running on. He was about to make this a day they'd tell their grandkids about -- this was about to be a day that Aimee would never forget.

Aimee hadn’t been really sure what to expect when she heard knocking at the door to her and DJ’s apartment, as far as she was aware neither of them had ordered anything and she’d personally seen to it that DJ had taken his keys with him when he’d left earlier, so she was incredibly shocked to look into the peep hole and see the smiling face of her boyfriend bearing gifts. Even though she’d kind of had a fit about the whole love/care mix up over their texts, she didn’t remember saying anything that implied that he should come anywhere near her, let alone with her favorite kind of flowers like he’d done something wrong other than accidentally making her crazier than usual.

Shooing off her dog Benji, who’d she’d brought with her in case of danger, Aimee opened the door to let Beau in with a confused smile. “Hi, what’s up? Did we have plans today that I’m completely forgetting about or something? What’s with the flowers?”

The sight of his beautiful girlfriend's face was a welcome one, and it made his heart flutter and warm up like butter sliding down toast. It was like a sign that Beau’d done the right thing by coming here, and she'd see so in a moment too. "Hey," he greeted, pressing a small kiss to her cheek as he made himself comfortable walking in. "And no, no plans, unless I forgot too. I just felt like I should clear some things up and that starts with these!" He handed her the flowers, not wanting to get too carried away that he didn't say what he needed to say.

He took his a seat on her bed as if it was his too and waggled the heart box in her direction too. "And these. Come here, sit with me," he asked, waiting till they were more settled to keep talking. "I feel like I really dropped the ball when we were texting, and maybe some of that was because it's easy to get things lost in translation over the phone. So I wanted to come over here and make myself crystal clear." He handed over the chocolates, practically bouncing with excitement, and nodded. "Open it up, baby."

Aimee’s expression crumpled into further confusion as Beau tried explain himself as they made their way through the apartment and into her bedroom. But Aimee had already done enough questioning for one lifetime during their previous conversation, so she just wordlessly followed his lead all the way to the bed, certain that his meaning would reveal itself at some point.

A belief that proved itself very correct when she opened the heart shaped box and read the words spelled out across eight candy pieces. “Oh…uh..” Aimee started, struggling to manage a suitable response even as her chest felt like it was starting to close in on itself as it pushed her rapidly beating heart up into her throat. Aimee knew she was definitely on the edge of a full on panic attack, but one look up at her sweet and entirely too kind boyfriend had her scrambling in her already too loud brain to think of something to say that wouldn’t make her reaction come off as hurtful when that was the absolute last thing she ever wanted to do to anyone as thoughtful as he was. “C-chocolate. That’s sweet. Thank you.”

Beau was on the edge of his seat, waiting to see Aimee's face once she saw his love declaration. The lady at the chocolate shop had swooned at the "I LOVE YOU" candies, and he couldn't wait to see Aimee react similarly, but the more he looked at her, the more obvious that wasn't the reaction he would get. She didn't look like she was about to turn to him and say she loved him too as they rode off into the sunset together. Mainly, she just looked overwhelmed.

And then she thanked him for the chocolate, not for anything else, and it occurred to him that maybe the chocolates weren't enough. Maybe the whole point was that he needed to say it out-loud. He reached out one hand to rest on hers and he looked into her eyes. "It's not half as sweet as you. Aimee, I love you," he said confidently. "And I should've told you that way sooner because it's been so true for so long now, but I do. I love you. And I promise never to mess up one of our milestones by texting it ever again. You deserve this and so much more."

If Aimee hadn’t been struggling enough with trying to keep the rising lack of air and it’s accompanying sense of light headedness and greying vision, Beau doubling down on his gesture by resting his hand on her suddenly very cold clammy one and saying it out loud with a speech was really the final nail on the coffin of Aimee’s consciousness as the roaring sound in her ears reached a crescendo coinciding with the end of his statement and her eyes rolled backwards into her head before she promptly dropped like a sack of bricks off the side of her bed, taking the I LOVE YOU chocolates along with her to the ground.

It happened in the blink of an eye and bam, Aimee was on the ground. This definitely hadn't been the kind of swooning he was hoping for. Beau had been feeling so chipper up until that moment but all at once the warmth inside of him turned icy cold, and that cold brought focus along with it. He'd known going into their relationship that Aimee was prone to fainting spells but he hadn't seen it himself up until now; as a future nurse, and more importantly as her boyfriend, it was his job to fix it, especially since right now it definitely looked like her head had hit the floor. He got off the bed and onto the floor, laying Aimee flat on her back since she wasn't throwing up and getting her legs up onto the bed to elevate them. With a quick examination to see if she had any tight clothing that could be considered restrictive to blood flow, he turned towards the next stage of his training -- waking her up.

"Aimee, baby, come on," he yelled, shaking her by the shoulders. First-aid training was so much easier on a dummy than on a real life person, especially when that person was someone he cared about. He didn't like yelling at people, or jostling them, or anything else like that, but like the classes always said, it was better to have an annoyed patient than a dead one. He knew this happened to her often but any head injury or loss of consciousness should earn a one way ticket to the doctor, just in case. It was hard to plan ahead though when he had a sinking feeling that this reaction on her part wasn't a happy one. There were more important things happening than whether or not she loved him back, but the feeling that his gesture had gone wildly wrong was harder to shake than an unconscious Aimee was.

Being no stranger to waking up on the ground, Aimee wasn’t too shocked when she got shaken back into consciousness. Mostly just embarrassed and still a little dizzy from the fainting, the shaking and the cause of the whole shebang. “At least I wore cute underwear with this skirt.” She weakly attempted to joke, in reference to way she found herself positioned on the floor before trying to sit herself up slowly. Since this was Beau’s first time seeing her eat shit way that was much worse than her just never being able to walk in a straight line without finding something to trip on, Aimee wanted to lighten the mood with her best attempts at humor.

Beau let out a huge breathe of relief when Aimee started waking up and he reached under her beautiful head gently to support it. He gave her joke a little smile, but it wasn't a fully convincing one, on account of still being kind of scared that his girl had crashed to the ground -- and that maybe he'd been the reason why. "Yeah, at least there's that." He cocked his head to the side, examining her eyes. "And you're able to talk and joke so that's a good sign too. It's probably going to be a little annoying but I've got a few questions for you. Do you know what year it is? What seven times seven is? And uh, what's the last thing you remember?" He could feel his face heating up at that last question but it was a standard one when making sure someone hadn't hit their head too hard and he had to follow protocol.

Aimee usually didn’t like being touched and watched too hard after fainting, since she didn’t like being fussed over in general. But Beau had always been the exception to that disdain anyway and she could tell he was seriously freaked out after he fall, so she didn’t push him away like her instinct was screaming for her too when he started examining her eyes or make up bitchy little joke answers when he started questioning her.

“It’s twenty twenty one, you know I’m bad at math so this question is unfair, and…you were telling me that you love me.” Aimee recited dutifully, only coming to a awkward pause when she had to repeat what they both had to know was the cause of her panic attack and subsequent faint, but she answered it anyway since she’d already been a freak enough for one day and faking amnesia about the entire event was her only other viable option.

He grinned a little bit at the math bit but then she mentioned the love part and his smile cracked a bit; in all fairness, Beau knew that that's what she would have to say, but it hurt more than he expected being reminded that she fainted because of what was supposed to be a sweet gesture. "Okay, yeah, I'd say you don't have a concussion," he assessed, giving her some space finally so she could sit up if she wanted to. "Which is good because that means you don't have to see a doctor unless you really, really want to. Ummm..."

Beau paused for a moment, not sure how to proceed. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that would happen if I...yeah." It was so hard to choke out an apology, because he hated the idea of being sorry for loving her, but if it wasn't for that, she wouldn't have been in danger in the first place. "Can I ask though like... what did I do wrong?" That last part escaped before he could help himself but he was almost glad he did. Open communication was important for relationships, after all.

“To be fair. I didn’t know that would happen either. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Aimee sighed, taking a second to assess how she felt physically before sitting up fully to assess how she felt emotionally. She’d spent so long freaking out about his feelings that she hadn’t devoted much time to think about her own.

“Everything was perfect. Exactly the way I’d want to be told something like that. Well mostly…” she muttered, scrapping some chocolate out from underneath herself so that it wouldn’t completely ruin her outfit. “Have I ever mentioned that I’m like the pickiest eater in the world and not really the biggest fan of chocolate? Not that it’s why I fainted but it is worth mentioning, I think? Although I guess pop rocks aren’t really a candy you can use to spell out I love you? Unless you want to use the packets but that seems more like something to do for high school homecoming invitation than for a real adult love declaration probably. Not that I ever actually got invited to—“ She cut herself off suddenly when she realized that she was starting to ramble about absolutely nothing of substance.

Aimee took a breath and took Beau’s hand in hers, kind of like he did before she went and ruined the whole thing, “I’m sorry let me start over? You did a very good job, Beau and I really like that you came here to make up texting it to me. I think…I mostly just freaked because.. I don’t know if I’m ready to say it back. YET.” Aimee nervously looked into Beau’s eyes to see if he would be mad or sad that she couldn’t return the sentiment before plowing on. “I’d like to say it to you someday, if you’re okay with waiting for it. But… quietly, without making it a whole thing .”

Beau had to stop himself from interrupting her, but it was hard; how could she claim he did nothing wrong when she'd ended up knocked out on the floor? That was textbook definition of something going wrong, but then she cut herself off and his breath halted in his throat as understanding struck him. If the way he'd done it was perfect and exactly the way she'd want to be told that, then the problem was... him. It was the Beau of it all. And he'd known going into their original agreement that Aimee had feelings for someone else, so it shouldn't be a surprise and yet it was, though it made sense the more he thought about it. Aimee was a lifelong hopeless romantic and had no doubt imagined being told someone loved her before, but it was DJ she'd been imagining all these years. Tall, handsome, princely DJ who would've known better than to nearly shock her into a concussion and would've used Pop Rocks instead of chocolate, and who he'd never be able to be or even live up to.

Thinking that way was defeatist though. Just because he'd never managed to become as important to Aspen as her lifelong childhood friends had been didn't mean he couldn't crack in there with Aimee. He cared about her so much and he was already making mental notes like never giving her chocolate ever again, or that she'd never been asked to homecoming so that maybe, this year, when Auradon Prep had their homecoming, he could ask her to go to a makeshift dance with him with Pop Rocks spelling out "You Pop Rock My World" or something corny that would hopefully make her smile. And maybe the fact that she said yet, that she wanted to say it to him someday, was good enough. It was absurdly sad to him that she couldn't say it back yet, but his rational brain told him that it was in fact pretty soon in a relationship to drop the L-bomb and if all it took was time...

"You're worth waiting for," he assured her, biting his lip as he contemplated what to say next. He wanted to swear to never make something 'a whole thing' ever again, but he was starting to think it was just part of his relationship-personality and he didn't want to lie to her, especially because the idea of someone actually loving him back someday filled him up with so much chaotic energy that it was like dropping a Mentos into the Coke bottle of his soul. "I can't promise to be super quiet when you say it back, because it'll feel like... it'll feel like everything. But I can promise not to pressure you to say it back, ever. I'm just happy to be with you, Aimee. I really, really am, and as long as you're happy to be with me too, then I think we're okay...right?"

Aimee let out a sigh of relief at Beau assuring her that he would wait for her to say it back. She figured that he probably wouldn’t be super lowkey when she did eventually say it back, but considering when he said it she responded by fainting it was probably fair. Everyone had their things and if her’s was a particularly hateful vasovagal syncope then who was she to deny him being over the top. Besides hadn’t she been waiting her entire life for a boy who could love her as loudly as Beau was more than willing to? Shaking off the tiny niggling thought that reminded her that she hadn’t wanted just any boy, Aimee leaned over and kissed Beau soundly on the lips for a few seconds before pulling back and smiling. “I am more than happy to be with you, Beau. So as far as I’m concerned, we’re better than okay. We’re perfect”

He was somewhat nervous waiting for a response, as if Aimee were about to tell him that she wasn't as happy as he was and that they should just end this now; he wasn't sure why he felt so insecure but if pressed, he'd chalk it up to his past relationship, where he didn't see the end coming at all and then suddenly, boom, he was thrown to the curb like he meant nothing the whole time.

\But Aimee wasn't like that. Beau knew in his heart she wasn't like that, and if he needed reassurance, her lips against his worked wonders. He kissed back enthusiastically, happily, and her words just took it to another level. "Perfect," he repeated before leaning back in and capturing her lips with his again.

#para #aimee #para: aimee #para: falling for you #//titles are hard but here you go!

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quicksilverlightning · 4 years

Text

The All Might Fan Forum Discussion Board, Part Two

ALL MIGHT FAN FORUM General Discussion All Might Battles Meeting All Might Rescued by All Might All Might Encounters >Small Might Encounters (New!) Fanart and Fanfiction

Gone4-a-Jog

Small Might Sensei

I like to go jogging. I started recently and I’m not very good at it – I can’t run very fast or very long. But I like taking different routes and discovering new places when I stop to catch my breath. It was during one of my longer runs that I bumped into All Might.

I’d heard someone behind me a few minutes before I stopped to put my hands on my knees and try to gulp down as much air as possible, but didn’t hear that he stopped when I did so I jumped and nearly fell on my ass when I got upright, then nearly fell again when I saw who it was and this long sentence doesn’t begin to cover the comedy of errors that was my life in these few moments.

He stopped cause I was running wrong. Sidenote: there’s a such thing as running wrong. Apparently, you want to land in the middle of your foot and try not to land on your heel at all cause that can cause problems. He also taught me a few breathing rhythms for different intensities of runs.

He ran with me for about twenty minutes, correcting my bad posture and seriously I know every post on this forum says it, but All Might is super, super nice. Like, you’d think he’d have at least a little ego or something, but he doesn’t. He just wants to help everyone. He said hello to everyone we passed and doubled back to throw away a bottle someone dropped. He’d so nice you guys.

I’ve been using what he taught me for a few days now, and haven’t gotten a stitch in my side once. It’s so much easier to run now. Thanks Sensei!

Pepper-oni

Seatmates!

Small Might sat next to me on the bus. Pretty sure he could have had any seat he wanted no matter how crowded it was, but he was really polite and kinda awkward about asking if he could sit with me. Meanwhile, I’m internally screaming while trying to keep it cool on the outside.

He was texting someone on his phone – I tried not to stare, but it’s All Might, you know? I didn’t catch much, just that he was proud of someone, which, hello, is so frickking cute. He looked happy.

m0toroildrmz

A brief conversation with my mother:

“Mom, do you know who that was?”

“No?”

“That was All Might! All Might, mom!”

I leave my mom alone for five seconds to use the bathroom, and I come back to ALL MIGHT helping her with her English crossword puzzles. She didn’t even get an autograph for me.

oba-san581

the beach

I don’t know why it took so very long for it to click – after his last battle, I couldn't shake the feeling that I’d seen that tall, skinny man somewhere before. And he is such a distinctive gentleman; I was sure I knew him, somehow. It wasn’t until I met him on the beach that it finally fell into place.

I’m retired these days, so I have a lot of time on my hands. Every day, I take a walk from my home to the library and back. Sometimes I stay a few minutes, sometimes the entire day gets away from me. For months, almost every day without fail, there was a man and a boy cleaning the shoreline near my home. They would be there when I left for the day, and were still there when I came back. The boy was a scrappy, freckled little thing, cute as a button. The man was slender, but undeniably strong – he would step in to help with some of the bigger appliances, but mostly directed the boy and cheered him on.

I stopped to speak to them a few times; the boy was such a polite young man, and All Might was genial and humble. I never would have known. I could never have guessed had I not met him again, returning from the library with a book to enjoy near the waves.

It’s strange; heroes are so flashy these days, hustle and bustle and fight and move. And we appreciate them, need them. But there’s something so very special about the little things. All Might personally spent almost a year helping clean up a beach. Would anyone else in the top ten have done that?

He was every bit as kind as I remembered. He doesn’t accept praise very well, insisted the beach was all the boy’s doing. Which is fair enough I suppose – he did most of the heavy lifting. Even so, that man was out there almost every single day, with lunch and water and cheer and kind words. It warmed my heart, watching the two of them progress across the sand. I’m so glad All Might is a teacher now; those kids are in good hands.

spite-and-aesthetic

again with the cats

small might plucked my cat out of a tree AGAIN – same cat same tree he even fucking remembered me is this guy for real?

MKPlusUltra

All Might does not skip Leg Day

So I’m minding my own business, checking messages on my phone, waiting on my drink order, when there’s some commotion across the street – lotta loud noise, people screaming and running, standard-issue villain-tries-to-rob-the-till-at-the-combini sort of afternoon. It’s a tall guy with, like, I guess it’s a stretch Quirk off some kind? He looks like he walked out of some old-timey cartoon, all wiggly limbs bouncing everywhere, running from what looks like some rookie Pro – I don’t even think they were a rookie yet; maybe an intern? Anyway, Noodle Arms is booking it, Intern is after him as fast as his short legs can manage. Leggy clears the street in one jump and starts twisting his head around like he can’t decide where to go next.

It’s at that moment when All Might himself exits the building next to mine, one hand leaving his pocket to check his watch and Noodle makes a decision.

Now look, I’m gonna break this down into slo-mo for ya, cause seriously, it was a thing of beauty. It was one, smooth, impossibly cool-looking move, and every piece of it needs to be appreciated. This DUMBASS, who clearly had no plan whatsoever beyond “grab a hostage,” honestly thinks he can take on ALL MIGHT, I guess cause he’s skinny now or something. He wraps his stupid noodle limbs around him and All Might doesn’t even twitch when Dumbass constricts his arms and waves a gun around. Dumbass is yelling something, I don’t know what, who tf cares. All Might kinda tilts his head, wriggles his shoulders a bit, then lifts his arms up and slides out of the jacket so fast the fabric doesn’t even lose its shape. I’m not even kidding, it looked like it was on an invisible mannequin, this move came straight from the Acme school of How To Defy Physics. Dumbass has just enough time to look shocked before he’s eating a size 13 leather shoe – All Might dropped to his haunches, made a quarter-turn, and kicked his leg up and back, straight into the jaw of Dumbass. He kicks him so hard his feet actually lift off the ground and he flies backwards into a streetlamp.

All Might doesn’t even look angry; he just looks Annoyed, like someone forgot to put sugar in his coffee. He picks up his jacket and slings it over a shoulder and waits around a few minutes for the police to catch up and haul Noodle McDumbass into custody while Short Intern babbles away with stars in his eyes. It was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

AM_FAN0112

HE’S BACK

HE HASN’T BEEN TO THE SHOP IN THREE MONTHS TOSHINORI YOU USELESS SUNFLOWER I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I LEFT SO MANY TEARS ON HIS JACKET

YOU FUCKING SWEETHEART. YOU ABSOLUTE RAY OF LITERAL SUNSHINE. I WILL SAVE EVERY COPY OF SUGAR SUGAR CAT CAFE FOR YOU I WILL READ EVERY SINGLE DUMBASS ROMANCE MANGA I CAN FIND I WILL WORK IN THIS TINY BOOKSHOP FOR THE REST OF MY STUPID LIFE JUST NEVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN YOU AWKWARD JACKRABBIT DON’T EVER LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THAT AGAIN

I’M SORRY FOR SCREAMING I JUST MISSED HIM SO MUCH HE’S MY FAVORITE CUSTOMER EVEN BEFORE I KNEW HE WAS ALL MIGHT. HE’S AN ADORABLE OLD MAN

RedRibbon

A good man

Perhaps it’s a little unfair for me to comment since I work in the Tower. Still, there are some things I wanted to share with the world and this is a good place to do it.

I’ve been at the agency for three years now, mainly doing secretarial work. My direct superior is a man named Yagi-san. Yagi-san acted as All Might’s personal assistant, right hand man, concierge, whatever you want to call it. Telling something to Yagi-san was as good as telling it to All Might directly. I, along with everyone else in the Tower, learned why that night in Kamino.

I’ve read many, many posts on these discussion boards and if I were to identify a unifying theme that everyone seems to mention, it’s that All Might is a nice guy. That he really, honestly cares. That he worries about the little things just as much as the big things. I’ve worked with Yagi-san for three years and can confirm that none of it is a show for the adoring public – it’s all 100% true.

Let me tell you something, I worked with Miruko’s agency before All Might’s, and Wash before that, but unless the two of them also have secret identities, neither one of them was on the ground floor pushing pencils with the rest of us like All Might was. I’ve seen Yagi-san escorting new hires around the building when they get lost. I’ve seen him roll up his sleeves and change a busted printer cartridge, ink all over his shirt. He knows everyone’s birthday. He’ll do coffee runs, answer the phones, make deliveries, grab lunch, whatever you need. I’ve seen him as All Might, shutting the press down when they start getting pushy with the employees, or dropping by the daycare and making the kids light up.

I’ve never seen him complain. I’ve never seen him brush anyone off. I’ve never seen him be rude, or arrogant, or insulting, or aloof. I’ve never seen him treat anyone as lesser, as if they weren’t worth his time. Yagi-san lifted morale just by being in the building, the way All Might cut crime rates just by existing. Everyone in the agency loved Yagi-san just as much as they loved the hero; everyone had a story about All Might, and another one about Yagi-san. I’ve seen a few of those stories on this very board.

But this one is mine:

Ever since high school, I’ve used a ribbon to keep the hair out of my face. I love my curls, but they can be a nuisance waving around at the edge of my vision, so I keep them pulled back. I like using ribbons because scrunchies often get caught in my un-tameable mess of hair.

My ribbon snapped one day at work. It wasn’t a big deal – just a minor annoyance to have to keep pushing my hair back. But Yagi-san noticed. He noticed without anyone saying anything, and came back from lunch thirty minutes later with a beautiful red ribbon that he tied into my hair.

It really is the little things that matter the most. This tiny little gesture made me feel seen, acknowledged, valued. Not just as an employee, but as a person. All Might cares about those kinds of things – his employees aren’t subordinates, they’re people. He doesn’t rescue victims, he recuses people. He doesn’t pull you up to his level; he gets on yours and puts you on his shoulders.

I’ve worn that ribbon nearly every day for two years. It’s gotten thin in places, kinda frayed at the edges, but still doing its job faithfully. A bit little like the man who gave it to me.

#yagi toshinori #All Might #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #fanfic #bnha fanfiction #small might #social media fic #pov outsider #I love writing fics like this #number one in our hearts #loosely connected to An Unofficial Statement from Might Tower #AM_FAN0112 is me

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Text

*Pulls a post out of another post like a magic trick*

So anyway I wrote a longassed general meta while boxing up the LGBT discussion until the end, because frankly, there are elements worth focusing on beyond that -- but at the end I did leave a note and, frankly, as I don’t know who all will read that far after the meta, it feels worth putting into the general air.

I thank 15.07 for the display of performative absurdity. It’s not the first episode to rip open and expose fandom’s dirty underbelly and intersectional marginalization forces wearing an LGBT Activism Suit -- 14.03 also did so loudly by Bobo (eg read: “The Problem with Dreamhunter” [A post that points out what people will accept for canonization when there isn't a rival ship or excessive projection of antis specific to a ship which is *SPOILER ALERT* nowhere near what everyone pretends is needed when they want to argue just to argue and some intersectional WLW vs MLM issues]) -- but it was the first to approach it directly with Dean, much less so textually.

The ridiculous redefinition of words, of “what *I* think canon means” whipped completely out of fandom generated buzz and no dictionary on the face of the planet -- the demands, and the active erasure of existing LGBT text because it wasn’t *visible enough* -- really does show a seedy side of fandom that wears a nice Representation Warrior dress sometimes, but betrays a series of issues:

Most points boil down to “I won’t acknowledge any text unless it is loud enough to argue down any idiot I ever meet”, putting the focus not on representative resonance and value of quality of text, but on personal vindication for raw argumentation. A world where trolls and their personal agendas have actually taken *greater importance* to people than the representative text, and is an absolutely abysmal motivation or bottom line for any discussion and yes, if you recoiled and feel ashamed or called out about that, rather than patching over your pride and doubling down, maybe skim the reblog tags bisexual people have left on my several dozen posts about the damages of them being actively deleted is doing.

If you care about representation, you’ll think about that. Even if it’s not the loudly visible version of representation you *want*, it is what it is, and well--it is. Pretty simply. There is no perfect fantasy world where everybody understands and wants the thing you do. And I’m not just talking about LGBT rep. I’m talking about the people you pretend to need to argue gay canon with still being absolutely flummoxed by canon itself, like them saying “family don’t end with blood” and “found family” are “fanon concepts”. The same people that pretend there’s a fair canon reading that Sam and Dean never cared about Castiel in any capacity or wilder, the people who pretend it’s a fanon idea that he ever did. People that are confused where demons go when they die. People that rebuke literally many-times textualized non-gay things just to suit their personal agenda. And shockingly, they have a personal agenda about the gay content too.

I’m talking about Rowling having straight characters married with kids and then not actually owning their canonicity beyond the fourth wall. I’m talking about straight pairings like mulder and scully that got no romo’ed around even after they kissed and got pregnant and the whole nine, because bawww that’s not what the show is about so *allow me to build elaborate theories that make no sense and pretend they have standing in canon equal to the straightforward read*.

Cuz that’s where we’re at right now. Our fandom is just particularly bonky, and has been allowed to go so far off the edge of the map and away from center GA-resonant discussion that the bog standard antis have literally come up with body-mutilating necrophilia as an answer to avoid the gay, and somehow... *shruuuuug?* people act like these people not only are of equal worth but like... deserve... any consideration long term? Or that it these people have any bearing on GA discussion which I literally have two years of stat based blogging to disbar even if TVG calling it like they see it is a nice GA flagpost? But we’ll whip up a GA that exists in no known modern metric and throw up what we think the GA thinks, instead of reading major news publications and *reading* what the GA thinks.

Which is when we lean into the next point on MOTIVATION.

So ask at what point arguing with tinhats beat out your actual interest in representation and LGBT rights and media issues. Ask at what point you surrendered your focus on feeling resonant with a character that has been textually acknowledged, and traded that for implying you suddenly can’t relate to the character until he performs [X] exact function, exactly how you want, and when you want. Hell, I have even gotten an anon that literally said they would have acknowledged it if SPN had given them what they want when they wanted-- so basically, too late, not enough.

That’s not how text works. Whether the text came ten years ago or now, the text is the text. Your personal fulfillment aside, text is text. And I highly urge people to stop demanding tokenism above demographic-targeted representative types (eg bisexual, raised in the 80s in a patriarchal/power/grit based society and its own associated dogmas, fairly masculine identity, and so on) or demanding characters perform as if they were from another demographic (be it age or gender) because that’s your demographic.

Once you start removing elements of the represented demographics (LGBT, male, age, origin, etc) and wanting it to perform by way of *your* demographic’s behaviors or base line needs/wants, that’s when we’ve left representation. That’s when we’re demanding tokenization. And when you’re demanding tokenization to win internet fights with people who don’t even believe what they say, you have long left the representation wheelhouse. That’s what we call troll wars.

Do not let LGBT media representation be kidnapped into troll wars. Do not let content be degraded or removed just to engage in troll wars. And if you want to engage in troll wars, and you value the arguments more than the discussion *of* representation intersectional issues, and methods, and all around it -- then just... stop. Stop saying you want representation. Don’t.

As always, you’re free to want more visible text, but unsatisfactory text is still text, and what is unsatisfactory to you may be perfectly welcome representation to the target demographic.

The fact that if we scoured this whole digital fandom we may pull like 2 active people that match Dean’s demographic, with most in hiding and needing to be lured from the shadows *coughBencough* -- usually avoiding the fandom *BECAUSE* they get buried, and avalanched when they say, “no he’s good representation for me.” So the fact that be they LGBT but women, or male but not LGBT, or LGBT male but two generations separated from Dean -- the fact that this is the communal voice box discussing this while essentially ironically talking over an LGBT creator?

That’s bad.

And yeah, y’all are doing it.

Bobo is a middle aged LGBT male, who has written sociopolitical commentary about how to get queer media representation platform via moderate incrementalization *long before he ever came on SPN*, and yet nobody cares about his voice or his take. They’re mad he doesn’t give them enough material to *argue* with, without considering, perhaps, he doesn’t want to be argued for from the angles fandom insists on vying after. Instead, these voices that are not part of the central target demographic that people say they want representation for? They yell queerbait -- because... well -- because most of you want to win arguments that like 95% of the time, the people you’re wasting your breath and kilobits on don’t even believe what they’re saying. But the argument -- that’s what matters. Not the LGBT male creator. Not his sociopolitical voice. Not the LGBT text in the show. The argument.

And that?

That there’s a problem.

While about 20 people decided to hashtag #spnqueerbaits after last episode of all episodes, I sat, fingers splayed over my face, trying to keep myself from staring in mortification and secondhand embarrassment at the screen with my only consolation that many of them by their style and dialogue on their profiles seemed very young, and probably haven’t thought of any of the above, much less being predisposed to “getting it” for another 5 or 10 years. But like. Y i k e s.

Thankfully this being the final season it’s unlikely to do the significant damage that was done on a similar path 6 years ago, and I can only hope it tapers off.

#supernatural adjacent #lgbtqia #representation #vs #disability #queer creators #and #corporate #or #queerbait

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jimlingss · 5 years

Text

[2/2] The Airport Couple: Park Jimin’s Cock[pit]

CO-WRITTEN WITH @dovechim

Read the spin-off: The Airport Couple: P[ass]enger from Hell

➜ Words: 12k

➜ Genres: Tooth-aching Fluff, Extreme Crack, Smut (dear lord), Pilot!AU

➜ Summary: Talk about Angry Birds, and most people would immediately think of the mobile game app. But within your circle of friends, it stands for something else. It’s synonymous with Park Jimin, one of the most talented pilots from your batch who also just happens to have anger issues, or in other words, air rage. He is your best friend, but when you get teamed up with him as his co-pilot, you can only pray that things don’t go south… literally.

➜ Warnings: handjob, cum all over face (and near the eye which is super dangerous), tons of sexual innuendos, unsafe behaviour on a plane (please don’t do this!! This is a work of fiction only, hence please use discretion if any of you happen to be pilots yourself!)

➜ Notes: this was written with the lovely Addie @dovechim, so if you liked this, please send a sweet message her way as well as mine!! we decided to bring Park Jimin’s potential road rage into the air...lol, also please don’t have sex on a plane if you’re navigating/driving it....anyways, enjoy!

You’re stirred awake by the alarm you set on your phone just four hours ago, and you hurry to turn it off before anyone can complain. The pilot’s lounge is small, and from your position on the upper deck of the double decker bed, you can see a few sleeping bodies stir restlessly. Your schedule says you have an international flight in just over two hours, so you force yourself to climb down as quietly as you can, making your way to the communal bathroom to make yourself presentable to the world. Right now you look like an exhausted witch who’s finally returned to her body after being god knows where, maybe asleep for ten decades. On the way you are accosted by your fellow co pilot, and he has to shake you by the shoulders a few times to really wake you up. “Hey, you checked today’s flight schedule right?” Namjoon says, repeating his question louder when you take a tad too long to answer him, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “Yes, yes…what kind of pilot do you think I am? Of course I checked it. I checked it before my nap.” You brush his hand away, almost losing your grip on your makeup bag in the process. “Let me go, I need to remember how to be awake again.” “No, it’s been changed, you see,” Namjoon clarifies. “I was just notified of the change just an hour ago. Apparently there’s been some reshuffling, and we’re not doing today’s flight together anymore.” The revelation really gives you a wake up call, and you open your eyes wide, scrambling for your phone to check if he’s right. But Namjoon spares you from it. “You’re with Park now. I got pushed to the 2.15 flight to Bangkok tomorrow.” Namjoon finally releases his grip on you, giving you a look that you recognise as pity. Oh god. Thinking that today’s flight would be an easy one as Namjoon’s co pilot, you hadn’t spent much time going through the flight plan like you normally would if you were with Jimin. Flying with Namjoon is an absolute pleasure. The man is so pleasant and nice to talk to, and the two of you often have philosophical discussions while 3000 feet in the air. He really makes the time fly by, literally and figuratively. But Park Jimin… that man is a whole other story. Now you can really feel the panic starting to set in, waking you up more effectively than any cup of coffee. In your entire team, everyone, including you, dreads having Park Jimin as a captain. It’s not that he’s incompetent or anything, it’s just his… less than graceful landings and his absolutely filthy mouth, which would have gotten him kicked off the team were he not so talented. In other words, people say that Park Jimin has road rage. Or in this case, air rage. Immediately thrown into a state of panic, you leave Namjoon in the hallway and rush through your bathroom routine, ignoring the buzzing in your back pocket in favour of making sure you get your makeup done in under five minutes flat. You just manage to answer his third call as you step out of the bathrooms, and Park Jimin barks in your ear right away. “Where are you? We need to review the flight data and fuel gauge. I just finished the aircraft check and—” “Good morning to you too,” you grumble as your heels pinch your toes. “I just found out about the shuffle.” “Aren’t you absolutely thrilled to be my co-pilot?” You can almost see Jimin’s gloat from this end of the line. “I think you really lucked out today. We haven’t done a flight together in… how long? I can’t believe I finally get to pilot a plane with my best friend.” “I’m… um… thrilled of course,” you struggle to inject some enthusiasm into your voice. Park Jimin himself is unaware that people call him the Angry Bird. Of course, you want to spare his feelings as much as possible by keeping it from him, but something tells you that your best friend’s ego is far too big to be deflated just like that. The man knows he’s talented, one of the best pilots in the team. Your standard routine is to get a latte and a sandwich from the airport Starbucks since in-flight meals are absolutely revolting. Then, you’ll contact the scheduling department to confirm your flight check in before going through the standard security checks before doing exterior and cock-pit checks. Jimin is already waiting at Starbucks with your drink and a paper bag, and you wonder if he even slept at all for this early morning flight, but you push those thoughts aside when you realise that he isn’t he isn’t alone. He seems to be talking to one of the air crew...or rather, flirting. “You’re so funny, Jimin!” The head stewardess is giggling softly with a white-gloved hand covering her mouth as if she’s trying to be polite and hide her perfect teeth. Flight attendant uniforms are a lot prettier than your standard white shirt, black trouser duo. She’s wearing a royal blue blazer and pencil skirt that emphasizes her feminine figure perfectly, white shirt and a floral scarf tied into a bow around her neck. Meanwhile, you’re stuck in this terrible dress pants and blouse. You’ve never looked good in pants, and let’s face it, dress pants only look good on men. Your blazer isn’t even fitted for heaven’s sake. You’re almost envious at how stunning she looks, attire hugging her hourglass body shape, yet retaining a classy vintage sort of aesthetic. Her dark hair is tucked into neat bun at the back of her head, a rosy hue staining her lips, wearing enough makeup to make you suspect that she has someone to impress. “Am I?” Jimin laughs obnoxiously and you narrow your eyes at how picturesque they look next to each other, like the perfect couple to represent the airline’s advertisements. You resist the urge to frame them with your fingers just for the sake of it. “I didn’t think my story of accidentally flushing my pet goldfish down the toilet would be that funny. My brother was furious when he realised what happened to Sushi.” The head stewardess brushes her hand on his arm, laughter still bubbling at her pretty lips. She’s practically salivating and drooling all over him. The flirting is hardcore and sickening to observe. “No, you just know how to make others laugh that’s all. You’re too sweet.” “Why, thank you.” Jimin is practically beaming like the motherfucking sun from the praise and you roll your eyes, interrupting with a loud ‘ahem’, noisily like you’re choking on a chicken bone. Jimin turns and his brows raise, a bigger and more genuine grin spreading through his face. “______!” “You’re here early,” you comment as you take your drink and sandwich from him, peeking into the bag to confirm that he bought you your favourite: tuna and egg mayo. “I was up early to iron this,” Jimin beams as he puffs up his chest to show off his pilot’s uniform, consisting of a navy blue blazer and white dress shirt, and dress pants to match. He tugs on his tie a bit before smoothing it out with his hands. “Didn’t I iron it well? It took me almost two hours. And I even shined my shoes too!” “It looks great, Jimin! You look so sharp and handsome,” the girl at his side almost coos, and it makes the coffee in your mouth turn bitter. She places an arm on his bicep to get Jimin’s attention even though it’s clear that his questions were directed at you, and Jimin glances at her for a brief second. “Oh, ______, this is Yoonji. She’s flying with us later, and we just happened to run into each other just before you came.” You give her a brief nod. Typically, you don’t really interact with the flight crew until an hour before departure, but you suppose that it wouldn’t hurt to get on more friendly terms with them. Jimin has bragged to you a million times about how he was able to get non-alcoholic champagne delivered to the cockpit just because he was close to a stewardess or two, on the rare occasion even snagging a first class meal of lobster tail. But you prefer to keep to yourself even if it means having to scarf down a lunch of overcooked, dry beef lasagna. Something about the way she’s clinging on to Jimin’s arm and shooting him looks of adoration sets you on edge, and you give Jimin a nudge. “We need to get through customs. How did you already review the flight plan?” You start to walk towards the departures area and Jimin tags along after saying a hasty goodbye. “That’s fast. I thought you only checked the revised schedule an hour ago.” “Oh, I was finishing up another flight simulation when Namjoon texted me to tell me,” Jimin answers, checking his reflection in a passing surface. “So the hardworking me thought I might as well just call up the flight plan and get it done.” You turn to frown at him. “Wait, another flight sim? Isn’t this your third one this week? Park, are you even sleeping anymore? You realise that you have a bed at home that needs to be used right?” Jimin seems to be a little embarrassed to be called out like this, as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yoongi assigned me a couple more. Said it was because I got several complaints about my landing last time.” “Yoongi…? Isn’t that…the name of the flight stewardess just now?” Your first instinct is to jump to his defense. “And was it the early AM flight to Japan last week? Come on… I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” You’re lying. Namjoon had been the one to co pilot that flight with him, and when he got back he’d told you that there was so much turbulence mid-flight that two passengers threw up, and another three had to request for medical attention for their migraines. And the weather had been perfectly fine. His landing had been rough as usual, even though he swears it’s because “the Narita airport has an uneven runway”. Usually on flights with him you try to schedule it so that he does takeoffs and you do landings, but that sometimes it can’t be helped, the shifts don’t rotate that way. If Pilot Jimin has one flaw, it would be rough landings. Everything else he excels at, flight rage aside. “No, no, that was Yoonji, this is Yoongi,” Jimin clarifies with a wave of his hands before sighing melodramatically. “And I know right? My flight hours must have doubled in the last month alone.” Security check is sped up for air crew since you already know the process like the back of your hand, and you and Jimin are through to the airside and on your way to the plane to carry out the cockpit checks. On the way, you review all the information given, from the weather to the number of passengers and the other crew members working on the same flight. And after both you and Jimin work out the flight plan, you file with air traffic control. That’s when your phone rings, right as you’re on your way to meet with the rest of the crew in the crew’s waiting lounge just before you board the plane. The first thing you hear is cackling, so loud that it might as well been a blow horn in your ears. You wince, taking the mobile device off your ear and hoping your eardrums aren’t permanently damaged. Immediately, Jimin looks over with concern, but you don’t give him a chance to ask. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jin?” You speak sharply and the man continues with his shrill laughs on the other line. “You’re co-piloting for Jimin?!” Seokjin is in absolute hysterics and you can only imagine his punchable face behind your eyelids. “Rest in peace, ______. I hope you survive and if not, I’ll leave a nice note in your obituary. The entire control tower is panicking right now, it’s hilarious.” “What’s he saying?” Jimin invades your personal space, putting his face in front of yours to steal back your attention and also being too curious for his own good. “Nothing. Just that he’s going to be our air traffic control officer and he’s excited since it’s you and he’ll have an easy time,” you manage to lie and Jimin stands straighter, a huge smile plastered across his cheeks, satisfied from the praise. Jin continues laughing chaotically on the other-line. “Oh my god, you are so whipped for him. Why do you even bother trying to save his ego? Do you want some of his ass that bad? I’ll admit, it’s a pretty good fucking ass, plump like two giant pumpkins in a pumpkin patch, but damn dude, even my thirst wouldn’t let me lie that far—” You close your eyes at the very descriptive imagery of your pilot’s ass. No, you can’t be thinking about Park Jimin’s ass right now, not when you’re about to be stuck in a cockpit with him for the next six hours, alone. Damn it, you really don’t need this right now. “I know, right? Jimin's a great captain. He aced all the exams back in the academy and gave me a run for my money.” You give some awkward laughter and Jimin’s practically floating beside you, glowing like a flashlight from the compliments he hears coming out of your mouth. His pink cheeks looks like they’ll burst any second now. “Oh, the weather’s still good? That’s great! Not too cloudy either?” “Look, all I’m saying is that Jimin’s got some...air rage and you seem to be the only one who makes it better. In all the flights I’ve done with him, I must say you have a special talent for containing the Park Rage. ” Jin barely composes himself and he mumbles something about his job. “If I had to guess, I’d think that you had some special way of calming him down, and what calms a man down faster than anything? A blowjob. Or just a simple handy really. Props to you for handling all that equipment so well, a joystick in one hand and-” “KIM SEOKJIN!!!!!!” You yell out his name to stop him from his tirade, all too aware that Jimin could overhear him at any second. Your breath is coming in flustered pants and Jimin is staring at you in concern, even raising a hand to your forehead to check if you have a temperature. You bat his hand away hurriedly to keep some distance in between the two of you as you realise that Seokjin is still rambling. Something about not getting the controls wet… “Seokjin, uh, we have to check in now so talk to you later! Bye!” “-should maybe just swallow to save you the trouble- alright alright, just say safe, okay? That goes for the both of you. Good luck. And for the love of god, don’t crash the plane.” “Wow, that’s some solid advice. Very good. I’ll have to write that down.” Jimin is infamous everywhere he goes and at this point, every airport knows his name. But his turbulence really isn’t that bad. And you’re not just defending him because he’s your best friend and those are your obligated duties. Most passengers don’t mind that it’s a bumpy ride since he always gets to the destination half-an-hour faster. Sure, one time he accidentally left the intercom on the whole flight and everyone heard him cursing and swearing. But it isn’t that terrible. “Ooh, what was all that about?” Your best friend’s eyes glimmer when you hang up the phone. You frown. “What do you mean?” “You and Seokjin….?” Jimin wiggles his brows up and down, even playfully nudging you. But even if he’s joking around, your heart is pierced. But like instead of Cupid aiming its bow at you, he’s stabbing you over and over again with an arrow. You can’t believe Jimin would even insinuate such a thing and be seemingly not affected at all. Goes to show his flirting means nothing. It’s time to get your head out of the gutter. “Oh god, no.” You shake your head. “No, not at all.” “That’s some passionate denial,” he muses. “What about you and the head stewardess?” You raise your own brows, clearing your throat and stealing a glance at him. “Planning to get it on with her? In all honesty, she’s hot. Even I’d smash that, so….” “You mean Yoonji?” Jimin’s lips are pouty and he shrugs. “Maybe. I dunno know. I don’t even know where I’d take her.” “You can’t take her anywhere,” you snort before nudging him this time. “How can you take her on a date if you can’t even drive a car.” It’s ironic, really. Park Jimin can drive a plane, but not a motorized vehicle. You’ll never stop giving him shit for it. One time, you tried to take it upon yourself and teach him how to drive. All you remember about that day is a barrage of swearing, Jimin’s fists pounding against the horn, and a few near miss altercations. After that day, you had to replace the battery for your car’s horn, and designate yourself to be his driver for the rest of your life. “Heyyyy, we can always take the bus.” He nudges you back, making you stumble on your feet as squeaky giggles stream from his mouth. “You wouldn't mind taking the bus with me.” “You’re right, I wouldn’t,” you mutter bitterly, the singleness of your life suddenly hitting you hard. Maybe Jin’s right. Maybe you are too whipped for your friend. Somehow, you suspect Jimin’s innocent smiles and whiny, clingy personality that plagued you for all these years was a tactic to lock you down and keeping you single forever, pinning after something that can never be achieved. Of course. The bastard would do something like that. You really need to go on a date soon….or at least get a decent dicking. “You’re frowning again.” He pokes the scrunch between your brows and you flinch. Jimin laughs and throws an arm around your shoulder, patronizing you as if you were his younger sibling. “Y’know, I still haven’t gotten my thank you yet. I had to stand in a ten minute line to get your favourite sandwich and I even got your favourite coffee. I remembered how many sugars and creams. Tell me I did a good job.” Sometimes, you’re baffled at how shameless he is. “You did a good job,” you state impassively, not even hesitating or bothering to make eye contact with him before taking another sip of your drink. Jimin’s arm suddenly tightens around your neck, making you choke on your coffee and wheeze. He pulls you closer, lips pursed in a tight-line. “I’d more genuine about that, ______,” he whispers lowly in your ear. Immediately, you pull him off of you, gaining some distance and making it easier to breathe. And it’s not because of the near choke hold he had with his biceps around your neck. Your thumb shoots up, a twitching grin lifting on your cheeks, and you inhale. “Wow~ you can stand in a line for ten minutes?! Amazing! You are the strongest. The mightiest. Park Jimin, everybody. You are my biggest role model. I can’t believe you even paid for me?! What a kind hearted man. Truly. The. Best!” Jimin laughs so hard he folds his entire body in half. “That’s not what I mean!” Despite getting embarrassed from your excessive, exaggerated praise and the people around who shoot you two odd looks, you can tell the little shit loves every second of your attention. “C’mon, hurry up.” You tug on his sleeve, dragging him away with your own smile on your face. “Everyone’s waiting for us. We’re going to be late.” As much as Jimin fucks around, what surprises you the most is how serious he can be about his job. It nearly gives you whiplash at the change in personality. From boyish and aggravatingly annoying to being professional and stern. Times like these, you remember why you don’t run for the hills whenever he’s around. Even though you’ve all signed the flight release forms about a thousand times, Jimin still takes the time to read through every word before inking his name at the bottom. And when it’s time to meet the rest of the crew, he greets every single one of them by name, making them feel at ease with his lame jokes. Jimin truly is the mood maker of your team. “Ready for the cock-pit check, co captain?” Jimin shoots you a grin as he pauses at the doorway of the plane, making a grand sweeping gesture as he bows his head. “Ladies first.” “Didn’t think you’d pass up on a chance for an innuendo there,” you give him a wry smile as you make your way into the cockpit, retrieving the flight log and preparing to go through it and make sure that any required inspections and repairs to the aircraft have been duly carried out. “If you wanted to inspect my cock, you could have just said so,” Jimin grins from ear to ear, as if he was just waiting for you to bring it up. He seats himself in the pilot’s position, going through the controls and making sure everything is in working order. You let out a loud groan in response, rolling your eyes at him. “And there goes my last shred of respect for you.” The two of you work in silence for a moment, like a well oiled machine as Jimin goes through the position and the operation of the plane’s systems before recording them meticulously onto the flight log that you pass to him. He inspects your work with a thorough glance before signing at the bottom, and you move on to contacting the control tower for a weather update. “This is KR130 to control tower. KR130 departing from Incheon, Seoul, destination Hong Kong. Estimated departure time is 11.40AM, flight duration 4 hours. Requesting pre departure weather report.” “Control tower to KR130,” Seokjin radios back. “Weather report is slightly cloudy, wind speed is…. Ah you know what, I’m lazy to read this all out. I’ve sent it to your printer and you can read it yourself.” You make sure the radio is off before asking yourself why you even bother radioing him if he’s just going to send you all the information by bluetooth to your in-flight printer anyway. The printer sputters to life behind you, and you spin around on your chair to grab the stacks of papers it spits out to review while Jimin is doing the external walk around to examine the body of the plane. This is another reason why you’ve harboured a secret crush on Jimin for this long — he is considerate beyond belief. By doing most of the external checks, he saves you from having to go out into the cold and brave the winds in your heels. When he returns, his cheeks are red and his nose is pink, his hair windswept as he rubs his hands together rapidly. You have to physically stop yourself from reaching over to pinch his cheeks and rub them in between your own hands, instead you have to keep your thoughts about how cute he looks like this to yourself. “Weather report done?” Jimin blows into his clasped hands as he takes his seat again. “Done, passenger count done too. The plane should be boarding right about now,” you check the time on your watch. Everything seems to be set so far. The check-lists are finished, the inspection for emergency equipment, electrical circuit breakers and the departure briefing has been completed as well. “Hmm, well we’re done with the pre flight checks, wanna go greet the passengers?” Jimin adjusts a few more levers and switches before turning to you. His eyes are sparkling with excitement and you know interacting with travelers was one of Jimin’s favourite parts about the job. You don’t mind it either since it was always interesting to see where everyone was going and for what reason. Often times, you’d like to play games inside your head, guessing if they are traveling for work or personal reasons, or maybe something crazy like a husband running off on a rendezvous with his mistress who’s actually a private investigator hired by the wife. Things get wild in your mind sometimes. “Alright, let’s go.” When you both leave the cockpit, a few first-class passengers have already boarded and Yoonji, the head stewardess is standing with her hands folded together, pretty smile placed on her lips. As passengers enter, she bows from her waist and Jimin nods with his hands behind his back. “Welcome to Asiana Airlines! We hope you enjoy the flight!” “Hello!” Yoonji is so pretty, you can’t stop staring at her. She has clear skin, a perfectly oval face, long lashes, pink cheeks, bright eyes — you think you might actually be falling in love with her. It’s no wonder Jimin’s so smitten with the woman; the one peek she steals at your partner in crime, the shy smile she gives, it has you swooning. “Hello! Good afternoon! Welcome to Asiana Airlines!” The trance you’re in is shattered when Jimin roughly nudges you. “______.” He smiles when he finally has your full attention again. “You never told me what you thought about my ironed uniform. See? I ironed it. It took a lot of work!” “Yes, yes,” you mutter to appease him. “It’s very well done.” “And I packed really well too! TSA didn’t stop me this time. Did you notice?” You’re not sure why he’s being embarrassing directly in front of other people like this. Usually he would bring his attention-starved puppy nature in private, gloat at your praise when it’s just the two of you. You’re about to shove him to the ground, but Yoonji turns around instead with a small giggle. “You’re really cute, Jimin,” she says with a blazing smile. That little shit. Was he really using you to get a compliment from another girl instead?! The audacity! You’re about to give him a piece of his mind, struck with hurt that you were used in such a way, but then Jimin quirks his head to the side, giving the stewardess the most blank expression. “I was asking ______, not you.” She blinks. You whirl your head towards him, brows furrowing, wholly confused. The head stewardess opens her mouth, maybe to apologize for interrupting your private conversation, but then someone staggers onto the plane, pushing up her little reading spectacles and croaking out, “Excuse me, dear. Could I get some help?” “Certainly.” Yoongi steps towards her and helps with the old woman’s luggage. “Oh, thank you. I just can’t seem to find where my seat number is on this ticket. They ought to have it bigger, at least for people like me.” “Let’s see here. You’re in 27C. Let me help you!” The head stewardess kindly leads the old woman down the aisle, swiftly avoiding other passengers who are getting settled and putting the baggage in the overhead bins. When she’s out of earshot distance, you spin towards your captain with a scowl and a harsh whisper. “What was all that about?” He’s unfazed, batting his lashes innocently. “What do you mean?” “I mean you were kind of a jerk just now,” you sigh out with arms crossed. “You were a blatant rude asshole and it came out of nowhere.” “Would you rather me be nice to her then?” Jimin raises his brows, eyeing you carefully. “You want me to flirt with her?” “I-....I mean...I...” You’re stuttering like a damn fool and it takes a deep breath before you get a grip on yourself. “I don’t want you to be a douchebag. Did you get a stroke, dude? Aren’t you trying to win a date with her?” “I never said that. Not once. You said that, but never me.” There’s a glimmer of mischief in his eyes and he bumps his shoulder with yours. “Frankly, I don’t want to win a date with anyone, but you.” “Oh my god.” You roll your eyes to the back of your skull. “Don’t even, Park. I’m trying to have a serious conversation here. For once, can you just not be yourself?” Jimin laughs and you decide it’s better to ignore him. Passengers come filing through the door, greeting you with anticipating and nervous smiles. You greet them one by one, wishing them a good flight. But it still doesn’t stop Jimin from being an ass and purposely enjoying how he gets onto your nerves. When you tell someone you like their hair, he asks you what you think of his hair. You’d sucker punch him in the gut to get him to stop, but you’d rather not get filmed and go viral on YouTube with a viral clickbait title: ‘PILOTS FIGHT TO DEATH (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) POLICE 9-11 CALLED!’ As you’re trying to peel a clingy Jimin off your side and try your best to disregard his annoying behaviour, another person captures your attention, or rather, the cutest goddamn child you’ve ever seen. The four-year old has a massive Mickey Mouse backpack that’s bigger than his entire torso, larger than his vibrant green overalls and hanging on his shoulders. His black hair is ruffled and sticking up like he hasn’t run a comb through it since yesterday. Yet, despite appearing like he just woke up from a nap, his large eyes are alert, wide and bright. He runs onto the plane and looks in every single direction like a hyperactive hyena ready to run wild. “Hi!” You lean down with a tiny smile. “Hello there…” Deep down inside you pity the stewardesses- they’re going to have a lot on their hands for this flight. As for you, the soundproof, access denied cockpit is the main reason why you can coo over this cute little tyrant. “Is this the plane?!” He’s leaning back to look at the two of you, grinning and amazed as if you’re the biggest heroes in the world. “You bet it is, bud.” Jimin smiles, amused with the child and having his heart strings tugged. As many rude and irritated passengers that you get, once in a wild even getting an unruly one that needs to be removed, there were some travelers that make up for the bad ones. “This is so cool!” The child hops both feet like a rabbit on a sugar-high. His hair flops as he jumps. “Does this plane shoot guns?!” “I wish.” Jimin’s brows furrow slightly in disappointment, though his lips remain upturned “But unfortunately, this isn’t a fighter jet. We’re just a normal commercial plane.” Thank god. You can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if Jimin had access to deadly arsenals in the air. He might just open fire on the unfortunate bird who decided to cross his flight path. “What’s there?” The kid leans over, looking between your legs towards the door. “It’s my cock……..—pit.” Jimin adds on the last syllable a few seconds later and he has a sheepish smile when you glare at him. “It’s where we sit and drive the plane.” The boy hums and nods rapidly, almost breaking his neck doing so. Then his irises glitter as he gazes up at you. “Can I drive the plane?” “You need a licence.” You try to let him down gently, scared of disappointing him. “Give it a few years and with some hard work, maybe you can one day!” He doesn’t seem that broken-hearted over the news and moves onto his next curious question, so straightforward that it nearly gives you whiplash. “What happens if we fall in the sky?” “Uh, hopefully that won’t happen.” “Don’t worry.” Jimin’s hand lifts and he squeezes your shoulder reassuringly while gazing softly at your profile. “If it does, I’ll catch you.” You turn to him with yet another look, unable to discern whether he means you or the kid, but this time you can’t help the tiny smile that graces your features. “We’ll burn and crash together, idiot.” “Hoseok!” The child’s parents finally appear, lugging all their belongings with them. You suppose it must be a family vacation and it seems like the mom needs it. She appears exhausted and you’re sympathetic. “I’m sorry, he’s such a handful.” “Not at all. We’re happy to have him onboard!” And you really mean it. You haven’t seen such an eager passenger in a long while. “This is the first time he’s been on a plane,” his father says and takes Hoseok’s hand while two duffle bags are piled on his shoulders. “Really?” Jimin squats down. “Well guess you’re in for a real surprise, buddy. It’s going to be great!” With Jimin as captain, it’ll be more like a roller coaster. But they don’t need to know that. The two parents wave goodbye, expressing their gratitude for taking the time to indulge in their son’s curiosity. Hoseok waves as well, shouting a shrill ‘see you later’ that has first-class passengers glaring. You watch as they walk down the aisle towards economy class and Jimin gets back on his feet, glancing at your profile before leaning over and whispering in your ear, “You like children?” “The cute ones,” you muse with a shrug. “Well, if you ever want a kid, I can help you with that…” Jimin peeks at you slyly, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards when his pupils glance at your pink lips. “....just make sure you don’t accidentally swallow it.” “Jimin!” Your face heats up immediately at his implication and he relishes in your expression. “Our kid would be cute, right?” Jimin has a cheeky smile. “You gotta admit, they’d be one beautiful baby.” It’s harder and harder to brush him off, and you’re at a loss for words. Just the thought of being in that position, on your knees sucking him off makes it harder to breathe, and it’s not the stale recycled air of the plane that’s affecting you. You have no idea whether he’s joking or not, but he’s never been this direct before. You don’t want to shut him down for fear of him simply laughing at you and telling you to lighten up, so instead of answering you turn away from him and head toward the safety of the cockpit to prepare for takeoff. Once inside the cockpit, you know you’re saved because of the sterile cockpit rules that allow only essential communication between pilot and co-pilot. It only lasts till the plane reaches an altitude of 10,000 feet, but at this point you can’t exactly put a wall between you and Jimin, so that’ll have to do for now. “KR130 to Control Tower, permission to begin taxi,” you say into the radio after you seat yourself on Jimin’s right hand. “Permission granted, begin taxi toward runway 12,” Seokjin’s reply comes back over the air. With clearance from air traffic, you reach for the plane’s intercom and flick it on. “Good morning, this is your co-pilot ______ speaking. A very warm welcome to Asiana Airlines, this is flight KR130 from Seoul, Incheon to Hong Kong, and we thank you for flying with us today. Our flight this morning is an estimated four hours, and we are currently second in line for take-off. We ask that you kindly remain in your seats with the seatbelts fastened, with your seats and the table tray in upright position and secure all baggage in the overhead compartments. Smoking is strictly prohibited aboard this aircraft. Thank you for choosing Asiana Airlines and enjoy your flight.” Jimin flicks a few switches to fire up the engines and double checks the critical airspeed as the plane slowly rumbles into a slow amble toward the active runway. It continues to taxi for a few minutes till the signal for takeoff crackles over the radio. On Seokjin’s cue, you flick on the intercom again. “Cabin crew please arm doors and cross check.” “Cross check complete,” Yoonji replies. “Cabin crew please be seated for takeoff,” you impart your final instructions over the intercom as Jimin begins to rev up the engines and the plane roars to life. The initial thrust of the plane sends a thrill singing through your veins as the whirr of the engines sound in your ears. The plane begins to pick up speed, and you keep an eye on the speed gauge in order to alert Jimin when the critical airspeed is reached. “V1,” you alert him when the plane’s speed reaches the critical value in which the take-off must be performed, and Jimin barely acknowledges you with a nod. Shortly after, you alert him again, “VR.” That’s when he starts to lift the plane’s nose into the air, and the rest of its body follows as it glides into the air seamlessly. You feel the lift of the plane in the pit of your stomach as you monitor the altitude, retracting the flaps and wheels once you reach 400ft. You work in silence for a moment, busying yourself with after-take off and climb checklists while Jimin mans the helm, occasionally communicating with air traffic control and monitoring the atmospheric pressure, making changes should there be a need to. Once the aircraft reaches above an altitude of 10,000 feet, Jimin switches over onto autopilot, reaching over to your side to flick on the intercom, his hands dangerously near your thighs. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen,” he says into the intercom with a charming smile that resonates in the smooth lilt of his voice. “This is your very handsome captain Park Jimin speaking. I’m pleased to welcome you aboard flight KR130, we are currently cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet at an airspeed of 400 miles an hour. The current local time is 11:53AM, the weather looks good and with the current tailwind on our side we are looking to reach Hong Kong an estimated 15 minutes ahead of schedule. The cabin crew will be coming around in about twenty minutes time to offer you a light snack and beverage, and the inflight movie will begin shortly after that. I'll talk to you again before we reach our destination. Until then, sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight.” You’ve always admired the professional ease with which Park Jimin does his announcements. His voice over the airwaves sounds absolutely melodic and entirely at ease, and the look on his face tells you that it’s one of his favourite parts about flying as well. Unlike you, announcements come easily to him, the words just flow from his lips and he doesn’t seem the least bit nervous at all. Focusing your attention straight ahead to keep yourself from ruminating over the side profile of his pouty lips, you hope and pray for this flight to go by quickly. “Jimin, it looks like there are some dark clouds ahead,” you caution him, frowning as you cross check Seokjin’s weather report once more. Jimin notices the clouds too, and he begins to swear under his breath, and that’s when it all begins. Park Jimin’s famous air rage. “Fucking Kim Seokjin, sunny weather and slight wind? What kind of idiot does he think I am? All those flight plans gone to waste...” He mutters to himself as he begins to make calculations and calibrations to alter the flight path, keeping an eye on the atmospheric pressure at the same time. “At this rate he should be a weatherman instead, that way he’ll at least have a fucking reason to be wrong all the time!!!” You are working furiously to support his calibrations, attempting to radio back to the control tower to get an update on the weather. Jimin grunts under his breath as he tosses the report aside. “Forget it, it’s fucking useless. KIM SEOKJIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT, MOVE THOSE FUCKING CLOUDS NOW OR ELSE!!!!” Make no doubt about it, Park Jimin may seem like a cute angel who can do no evil, but catch him in a mood like this… He is practically roaring in that tiny little cockpit, so much so that you even wince a little at how loud he gets. “Jimin,” you caution him. “It’s just the weather, you know control tower can’t do anything about that-” That’s when you notice the red light of the intercom still flickering, and you gasp, diving toward it to switch it off immediately. Jimin whips his head around to stare at you when he hears your gasp, raising an eyebrow in question, anticipating some sort of problem.

“No, no, everything’s fine,” you wave a hand at him. “It’s just um… you forgot to turn off the intercom.” And that unleashes a whole litany of curses once more, after he makes sure the intercom button is securely turned off, that is. Your temples are throbbing, imagining the uproar that must be occurring in the cabins right about now. Kim Seokjin is going to have a field day when he hears about this. You can already hear his window wiper laughter in your mind. And when you close your eyes you can see the stack of reports waiting to be written about this incident, all courtesy of Mr Park Jimin of course. “Fuck. these. birds!” “What did birds ever do to you?” You’re slightly amused at how cute and small Jimin is when he’s been reduced to a ball of anger, and another part of you has accepted that this is who he is. He’s still a good pilot...with only a quirk or two. “Exist,” he spits out. “And get in my way.” The worst thing that could happen is if he busted a vein at his temple or got a heart attack from high-blood pressure, so you try to placate him. “Calm down, Jimin.” “Don’t tell me to calm down,” he huffs out and shoots you a glare, caught up in his fury to act rationally. “You act as if I’m unreasonably angry.” Trying to reason him is like trying to use logic with a child. “Well, maybe because you are unreasonably angry.” There’s a moment of silence. You heave a sigh of relief, happy that it’s over. It’s not like you like arguing with your best friend and it’s not like you bicker often either. But then— “I am your captain. That’s no way to speak to me.” “Excuse me?!” Your mouth drops and your brows shoot upwards, turning to look at the profile of his impassive face. “We’re friends, but when we work together, I still have seniority over you,” Jimin says and the sudden cold tone shocks your system. “For one, you’re supposed to call me ‘sir’ and you do as I tell you.” You scoff, unable to believe he’s redirecting his air rage onto you. “Or else what? What are you gonna do?” “...I’ll throw you off this plane.”

“Oh my god.” It’s so outrageous, you feel steam coming out of your ears, your pressurized temper blowing off its cap. “That sounds like a fantastic idea! Just strap a parachute to my back and throw your co-pilot off this plane! The airline would fucking love that, wouldn’t they?!” “Why can’t you agree with me on anything?!” Jimin’s frown deepens and his pitch increases in volume to match yours. “You don’t think these birds and fucking clouds are annoying as shit?!” “These are petty issues, Jimin!” You throw your arms into the air. “It doesn’t even matter!” “It does matter!” He’s screaming over you. “If you knew better, you would actually help me instead of trying to tell me to calm down which mind you does not help with the situation at all!” “Well sorry for actually giving a shit and not wanting your pilot license to be taken away!” The two of you bicker back and forth. This isn’t what either of you want, but maybe if you weren’t so caught up in it, you’d realize that something was off. “Why the fuck would it be taken away?! I’m the best goddamn pilot this airline has seen!” “Yeah, but you’re swearing and screaming! What sane person would fly beside you?!” Jimin barks out a chilling laugh before staring into your eyes. “You would!” “Guess I’m not sane then! Guess you’re not the crazy one! I am!” It’s infuriating how you’ve become unhinged and lost all control of your emotions. Now you’re the raging one and it’s unsightly. “Is that what you’re trying to say?! Well, Sherlock, I’m not the one screaming at clouds and birds, alright?!” “Goddammit, _____.” Jimin is as upset as you are and he sits back. “I wanted this to be perfect, okay?!” You shake your head, yet another scoff coming from your mouth. “Why the fuck does that matter?!” He’s so utterly frustrating at the moment, you want to throttle him and throw him out the front window. You hate how he can get under your skin. You hate how this entire thing has spiraled out of hand. More importantly, you hate Jim— “Because I wanted to impress you!” “.....” There’s a second of complete silence. His crisp voice reverberates around the small cockpit, piercing through the white noise of the aircraft’s engine, and it echos into your mind. You are bewildered to say the least. “What?” Jimin sighs and runs a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back before his hands return to the controls. He swallows hard and continues looking straight ahead, avoiding your intense gaze. “I know you’ve been avoiding me. Why?” “I have not!” Your defense is weak. “Don’t accuse me—” “You think I’m that stupid, don’t you?! You think I’m blind? I heard from Namjoon and I saw the look on your face this morning!” He’s still angry and frustrated, but the hurt in his timbre is all too evident and even though you’re still supposed to be irritated with him, instead you feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. “You didn’t want to be my co-pilot!” “T-that’s not true!” “You’re a liar! You’ve been trying to switch every single time we have the same schedule together! Why?!” No matter how many times he’s thought about it, he can’t seem to work it out inside his mind. “Did I do something wrong?! Am I really that bad that you’re scared to be next to me?!” “No! Fuck—” Jimin finally turns to you. His dark locks flop back into place, brushing over his forehead in a disarray. His soft eyes gaze back into yours, his deep irises meeting yours. His plump lips part slightly, inhaling a slight breath. “Or is it because you finally realize you’re in love with me?!” Shit. “What the fuck—” “You think I wouldn’t notice?! I felt you hold my hand when we were asleep on that trip to Barcelona!” Somehow, this fight has led to you being on the witness stand as Jimin questions you to death, pushing you into a corner to admit your crimes. One moment you’re both yelling at each other and the next, you find out that he’s been onto you for the past year. You’re still reeling, getting whiplash at how the exchange morphed so quickly. “And that time we were in Bangkok and I got food poisoning, you kissed me when you thought I was asleep!” “I kissed your forehead!” “So you admit it?!” This is humiliating. This is absolutely embarrassing and now you really wish you had taken that offer of being thrown off the plane when the opportunity was given. Maybe you can throw yourself off the plane instead. “You really think I wouldn’t know?! We’ve been friends for what? Nine years now?! I can read you like a book!” “Oh really?!” You challenge him, still not backing down. “Then what am I thinking now?” Jimin steals a glimpse of you before turning back to the open skies ahead. He has the biggest grin plastered over his chubby cheeks and you think it might break his goddamn face. “You’re in love with me!” “Oh my god! Fine! I am in love with you, dumbass!” It’s out in the open. No more secrets. And admitting your feelings lights your face on fire. You’re sure you’re going to wake up screaming for the rest of your life about this nightmare of a conversation. “Happy now?!” He lets out a ‘hmph’, like the cocky bastard that he is. “Very!” “I’ve been trying to sort this shit out ever since I fucking caught feelings and now you’re stepping all over me for it?! You force me to confess just so you can get a free ego boost? Thanks, jerk!” The pair of you are so childish, it’s painful, but at this very moment, you don’t care. You’re just trying to hold yourself together, forcing yourself not to start crying out of shame. It’s frustrating because you can’t even storm off or leave him in the dust. You have a plane to fly. And you can’t imagine what the next four hours is going to be like. “I get it, okay?! You’re not interested! So, I’ll deal with this myself! You can fuck Yoonji in peace!” “The hell, woman!” He whirls his neck over, frown gracing his features. “Have you heard anything that comes out of my mouth?! I never said I was fucking her!” “You didn’t need to! She’s practically moaning when you look at her!” “Fuck these fucking birds,” Jimin mumbles before turning to you once more. “Look, I’m in love with you too.” “What?” “Yeah and I have been for some time now—” He’s interrupted by some knocking on the door. Then, there’s the sound of someone punching the touchpad code in. In another moment, the head stewardess has her slight head peeking in, not to disturb the two of you. “Um, is everything okay?” Yoonji asks with pouty lips and a concerned expression. “We heard some shouting.” “Um, everything’s fine.” You smile at her, wondering how loud you both were to leak sound from the supposedly soundproof door. “Yeah, we had one or two…misunderstandings, that’s all.” “Oh, okay.” She nods, put at ease with your reassurance. “Would you like some drinks?” “Sure. I’ll...um...have some water.” Jimin clears his throat and nods as well. “I’ll take a coffee.” “Any creams or sugars?” The pretty stewardess has her hands folded together, scarf perfectly tied, eyes glistening as they pin onto the man beside you. She hangs onto every word of his. “No, I’m fine. Actually...just one cream.” “Okay.” It’s excruciatingly slow and awkward. It reminds you of when waitresses at restaurants come by to pour water and the conversation just completely dies as the both of you watch her. It feels like her movements are that of a turtle’s; she’s taking forever just to finish pouring and bringing your drinks over. “Here you go and here you go. Would you like anything else? Any meals or anything? We have peanut snacks and lightly-salted crackers. There’s also some chicken, beef, or vegetable rice available.” “I think we’re okay for now, thank you.” Jimin is curt, brushing her off and not paying any mind when she’s straight on staring at him. The tension in the small space can be cut with a knife and you’re beginning to break a sweat from it. “Alright.” She smiles meekly, preparing to leave and completely unaware of what was transpiring before she interrupted. “Just call me if you need anything.” “Thanks.” It’s deadly silent. The conversation takes its time to sink into your skin. There’s a full ten minutes of you and Jimin purely focusing on driving the plane and flying safely through the clouds. He looks forward, trying to decrease the turbulence with the oncoming wind, and you keep your eyes trained outside the window. He only mutters every so often under his breath before taking sips of his coffee to calm himself down. Eventually, you can’t bare it anymore and you glance at him, clearing your throat. His ears perk at the sound and you brace yourself. “That takeoff…….it was pretty smooth.” “Thanks.” “You did a good job.” You swallow hard. “And...uh….you dealt with the changes in the weather well.” The corner of Jimin’s mouth twitches, threatening to spread into a smile. He muses how you know exactly where to hit his weakest spots. He can’t help but indulge in your compliments. “I know.” “You’re a good pilot.” You capitalise on his number one weakness, unashamed to use it to your advantage. Jimin has always softened like putty in your hands every time you pay him a compliment. It wouldn’t hurt to lay it on thick. “You look really handsome in your pilot’s uniform, I can’t believe you ironed it so well.” Jimin is full on fighting with himself not to just break out into a fit of giggles as he maintains a straight face. He glances over at you and casts his eyes down your body. “You look nice too. In that suit. Your… legs are nice.” You almost spit out your water. Jimin isn’t the type to return compliments, usually he’s too busy basking in them, and although he does sound a little awkward, you can tell that he really means it. You’re at a loss for words because that means… that he’s actually taken notice of you? In this grubby little pantsuit? Suddenly the atmosphere in the cockpit has changed. It’s no longer tense or charged with the weight of both your tempers, it now borders upon uncharted territory, and your mind feels as foggy as the sky outside. While Jimin has almost all of his attention on the route in front of him, trying to steer the plane through the worst of the turbulence, you can’t help but crave for more of his compliments. Wait, when did the tables turn so suddenly? “Wh-what about my legs?” You hazard a glance at him, and when Jimin looks over at you in confusion, you clear your throat. “You know, I was just thinking about how unequal this relationship is. I always give you the most detailed compliments, and you never return any of them.” You can see Jimin visibly struggling to get his words out. His jaw is clenched and a muscle jumps in his cheek, and you can feel your breath catch in your chest. Finally, Jimin reaches over to hit the autopilot setting again and turns his gaze to you. And when he does, his gaze is absolutely predatory. “That’s my bad then, how shall I begin to make it up to you?” Jimin swivels his chair so that he’s facing you, and you can see his knees spread outwards, drawing your gaze up to his crotch in those deliciously tight pants of his. “What about my legs?” You purposely cross one leg over the other to draw his attention to them and you pretend to be disinterested when actually… you’re thinking of a way to get him to say that you have better legs than that beautiful bitch, Yoonji. “Most people usually use a scale for reference when they give compliments…” And then your eyes slide over to the entrance of the cockpit, giving him an extra hint. Jimin follows your gaze and smirks to himself when he realises what you want. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t tease you for a bit first. “Your legs are really long,” he starts off, running his eyes slowly down from your hips all the way to your toes. “And they’d look really good wrapped around my waist.” Your breath hitches in your chest as your thighs clench involuntarily. Jimin’s eagle eyes catch the subtle movement and he raises an eyebrow. But you’re not letting him off the hook that easily. “What else?” “I was also thinking of how they’d look like resting on my shoulders,” Jimin rubs his chin thoughtfully, licking his lips as he pretends to ponder. “And how my finger marks would look like on your inner thighs.” He is infuriating. By now you can see from the smirk on Jimin’s face that he knows exactly what you want to hear. “And?” Jimin makes a humming noise in the back of his throat, ever the tease. You decide that you need to up the stakes, and you lean over to rest your hand on his knee, fingers inching upwards ever so slowly. His muscles turn solid under your touch, and there is a sharp intake of breath. Jimin’s eyes are fixated on your fingers making the slow crawl up his inner thigh, towards the obvious tent in his pants, before you stop just short of making contact with it. “And, what else,” you prompt him again. Jimin’s fists are clenched, his knuckles white as he considers his options. He’s so rock hard in his pants right now, unbelievably turned on that he thinks he could come in his pants untouched. But just how far are you willing to take this? He’s sure that the both of you are breaking just about every rule in the pilot handbook right now, and yet, he’s dying just to feel your hand wrapped around him… “Y-your legs are…” Jimin meets your eye with a visible shudder as you begin to run your nails up and down his inner thighs. “Better than Yoonji’s could ever be.” A satisfied smirk paints itself upon your lips as you finally place your hand on him fully, giving him a firm squeeze to reward him. He feels thick in your palm, and your mouth salivates, wishing that the two of you were off this damn plane just so you can get a taste of him. Jimin groans and tilts his head back against the headrest, knees spreading even wider. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath before swallowing hard. “First Officer, would you like to grab my joystick for me?” It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s been waiting to use this line for the longest time. His terrible innuendo makes you want to laugh, and you just manage to bite it back as you flick open the button on his pants and drag the zipper down. He is already dripping with precum when you pull him out and give him a few test strokes. “Yes, fuck,” Jimin groans at your touch as you swipe your thumb over his head. “Make sure to grip it tightly, Officer. Your hand needs to go up and down too.” If someone had told you this morning that you’d be giving Park Jimin a handjob over 30,000 feet in the air, you’d have laughed it off. But as you follow his instructions, you can’t help but feel a thrill sing through your veins at the thought of all the other passengers on the other side of this door. And Min Yoonji who potentially thinks she can just bat her lashes and get any guy she wants. “What do you think of my joystick, Officer?” he huffs out, putty in your hands. “Should turn the radio on. Let Seokjin fucking hear this.” “But I don’t want anyone else to hear you. This is for my ears only...” you can’t help the little pout that sneaks up your face and he mutters a curse, unable to resist lifting his hand to curl around your wrist and control your pacing. You blink innocently at him as your strokes continue to alternate between slow and fast. “Your joystick is the thickest I’ve ever seen… Am I doing a good job, Captain?” “S-so good, you’re passing the simulation with full marks if you keep this up,” Jimin bucks his hips into your hand. When your other hand drops to fondle his balls, he groans low in his throat and twitches in your grasp. “Fuck, I-I’m carrying such a full load today, Officer, did you know that?” You glance up from weighing his balls in your palm, stroking him faster and relishing the loud, obscene sound that echoes around the tiny cockpit. “It does seem to be very heavy indeed, Captain… maybe you need some help unloading it? Where should I put all the cargo?” “God, fuck, you’re such a fucking minx,” Jimin bites his lower lip as he groans. His little sounds and the cute, tiny moans that spill from his pretty lips only encourage your ministrations. Your underwear becomes soaked and uncomfortable, and as you watch his face scrunch, it sends an ache straight to your own core. “I can’t wait till we’re off this plane so I can blow my fucking load on your landing strip, Officer.” “My landing strip?” You raise an eyebrow at him, not knowing that he’d be into finishing all over your body. The thought of the both of you watching his cum drip from you has your panties soaked. Maybe you can’t give him that now, while you’re on this godforsaken plane, but perhaps you can give him something else. You push yourself off your seat to kneel in between his legs, opening your mouth and showing him your tongue. “It’s all clear for you, Captain.” There is sweat beading on his forehead as Jimin reaches down to wrap his hand around yours, helping you to jerk him off right onto your tongue. The first few spurts are far too strong and miss your mouth entirely, landing on your cheek before you feel the bitterness on your tongue as Jimin shifts his hips forward so that his tip is resting on your tongue directly. You wiggle your tongue to massage the head of his cock as he continues spurting cum, and you can feel him filling your mouth up to the brim, that you have to tilt your head back to make sure it doesn’t spill. Jimin sinks back in his seat, eyes closed as he tries to catch his breath. You can already feel the streaks of cum drying on your face, so you push yourself up, closing your mouth carefully. Jimin opens his eyes then, catching sight of you settling back in your chair. “You look so pretty with my cum on your face,” he remarks, reaching over to carefully wipe a smear that’s close to your eye with the pad of his finger, then bringing it to his lips, tongue peeking out to lick it away. “Do you need to spit? Here, have my cup.” He offers you his coffee cup from earlier, but you shake your head, making eye contact with him as you swallow deliberately and open your mouth to show him your clean tongue. Jimin swears under his breath, thumb coming to rest just under your lower lip. “That’s so hot. You’re fucking amazing. When we get off this plane, we’re going straight to the airport hotel.” The sight of your swollen lips and cum streaked face makes Jimin want to bend you over the controls and eat you out till you come all over his face, then fuck his cum into you till you’re leaking. But he’s already broken enough rules for today; put others’ lives at risk even. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that—” you start, tucking your hair behind your ear. “No, it takes two hands to clap,” Jimin sighs as he tucks himself back into his pants. “I should have had better self control. It was irresponsible of me, the Captain of this plane. It’ll never happen again. Because once we’re on solid land, I’m fucking you so hard that you won’t be able to walk till our next flight back.” A signal comes in from the plane’s radio, and you glance over to the autopilot timer, saved from having to reply. It’s only been ten minutes since Jimin switched it on, but now that you’re more level-headed and thinking clearly, it was highly irresponsible for the two of you to leave the plane like that, even if autopilot allows you to be hands-off. Thankfully, nothing happened, and you can see that Jimin is equally sobered as he checks in with control tower and resumes control of the plane. “Go clean yourself up, I got it from here,” Jimin glances toward the cockpit entrance. You rise from your seat, hoping that you can somehow make it to the staff lavatory without running into anyone. But just as you press the exit button and step out of the cockpit, as your luck would have it, you almost crash straight into Yoonji carrying a tray with two prepackaged meals on it. “Oh! Officer ______! Didn’t see you there, are you alright? I was just bringing you and Captain Park your in-flight meal...” Yoonji is concerned as she glances at your face. “You look a bit…” Belatedly you realise that you have cum on your face, and the tight sensation around the corner of your lips tells you that there’s probably some there too. By the look on Yoonji’s face, she’s obviously caught on to what that mystery white substance is as she flushes a deep red, and you take the opportunity to rub it in her face….not literally though since Jimin’s cum belongs to you and only you. “Oh, I’m fine, don’t worry,” you give her a sweet smile as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Captain Park was just teaching me how to handle his joystick. He was giving me a bit of one-to-one coaching on the techniques, grip, pace, complicated stuff like that. I’d tell you more, but I don’t think you’d understand.” Her mouth drops open. “Oh, and…” you glance at the in-flight meals on her tray. One lobster bisque with salted egg yolk sauce, and the other is a plain old chicken with green beans and potatoes. That nasty little witch’s favouritism has always been too obvious. “Actually, Jimin is allergic to green beans… could you change his to lobster too? Thanks, Yoonji!” “B-but the lobster was for h—” Without waiting to hear the rest of her sentence, you saunter over to the staff lavatory, feeling her glare on your back the whole way. It feels good, more than good. As childish as it is, you got to assert your dominance like some kind of alpha wolf, and the adrenaline from your dirty antics is still coursing through your veins. You didn’t get your own release and your underwear is still sticky, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t bother you too much. If anything, you’re a bit disappointed that you have to wash his cum from your skin, even if it was drying and becoming uncomfortable. You wish he marked you in a better way. Maybe you’ll suggest it to him later. But what’s more important to you is that he feels the same way. Park Jimin, idiot extraordinaire, adorable puppy with sharp teeth, actually likes you back. No….wait, a minute...he doesn’t just like you— “I’m in love with you too.” It echos over and over in your brain again. You’ve imprinted the simple sentence, memorized the way he spoke every syllable, how his breath paused in timidness, how he gazed at you. You grin at yourself in the mirror, turning your head from side to side to admire the glow on your cheeks. Honestly, with you looking this good, you don’t know how Jimin managed to hold out this long. You’ve never seen yourself looking so radiant and glowy, although it may just be the effect of his cum… you’ll have to look into that one later. You might look crazy, but you don’t care that you skip back into the cockpit with one cheesy smile plastered on your aching cheeks. You don’t care that you’re giggling like some teenage girl who just received her first confession from her long, unrequited crush. You’re going to savour all the butterflies that are erupting in your stomach and embrace the flowers that are blooming inside your chest, bouquets that all belong to one man, Park Jimin. The cockpit smells of sex and Jimin, and you don’t mind in the least bit. He’s chewing on a cubed cantaloupe, having yet to dig into his lobster. Your bright smile is infectious and he can’t help but mirror it, chubby cheeks swelling up as he chews. “Oh, I think you’ll want to hear this. Yoonji was just here bringing us our food and she said this place smelled…musty. I told her I was just giving you a private flight lesson.” “Really?” you chime out before coming behind him, not really caring about what Yoonji thinks. “Why do you look so happy?” You lean over to plant a soft kiss on his cheek and hop back to your seat before Jimin has a chance to blink or react. He turns to you and his grin expands. “Maybe it’s because you told me you love me.” “I do,” he reasserts without a second thought, having too much fun watching you. Jimin has an endeared expression written across his features and it only squeezes your heart more. You wish you could just roll in bed and kick your blankets, too giddy for your own good. Yet, you hold yourself together, doing your best to remain professional and bring this plane to its final destination. “Before we were interrupted…..you said you’ve been for a long time now?” Who knew that you equally loved basking in his attention as he did in yours. You don’t really care about Yoonji anymore. She was just an excuse, really. Little things like that don’t seem to matter when it’s just you and him. “Of course,” Jimin scoffs. “Are you kidding me? How could I not notice the cutest and funniest girl in my class who turned out to be super smart and second best to me?” Your smile drops and your brow raises. “Excuse me….second best?” The little shit ignores you. “I’m just happy that you finally realized how much you’re crazy for me.” “Psh, how cocky can you be?” You turn back towards the front windshield, returning back to help with the navigation. “I’m not crazy for you.” “You’re right.” He grins. “You’re just crazy.” If looks could kill, the man would’ve turned to ash by the way you glare at him with a murderous glint in your eyes. He immediately retracts his words with a laugh, “I’m joking! I’m joking! I mean you’re crazy for loving me too because you’re so fucking amazing and incredible.” “Save it, Park.” Except, he’s a brat that never listened to you, and he steals the chance. Jimin completely catches you off guard when he suddenly leans over and kisses the corner of your lips, pulling away after the simple peck. When you turn in surprise, his gaze softens. “Now go eat your lobster. I need you to be hungry when we get off this damn flight because I decided that I’m asking you out to dinner before I tie you up for the next three days in the best damn hotel suite the airport has to offer.” It’s too hard not to smile and you feel like an idiot when your grin makes yet another reappearance. “Don’t you know I don’t put out on the first date?” “Who said it’s our first date?” A glimmer of mischief sparkles in his irises when you both glance at each other. “This is our fiftieth.” “What? Since when?” “Since our after our first flight exam and I invited you to McDonalds at midnight. That was our first date.” You’re appalled, recalling the memory with the snap of your finger. You’d never allow a first date to be so shitty, even if it was with him. “That so does not count!” “It did in my mind,” he giggles. “You’re ridiculous.” “—ridiculously in love with you,” Jimin adds on and you can’t resist your smile. The pair of you might be over 30,000 feet in the air, but at this rate, it feels like you could float up to the moon and stars. You can’t wait for tomorrow, for the next day, for the day after that. The anticipation bubbles in your stomach, joining with the storm of butterflies and blooming flowers. You can’t wait to travel with him again and again. For the rest of your life, you get to go across the entire world with your best friend. If it’s with him, you can go anywhere….even if Jimin rages on all the birds in the sky.

#bts scenario #Jimin fluff #jimin fanfic #jimin smut #bts smut #lol i can finally tag one of my fics as smut y'all #mAN i can talk ALLL day about how great pilot uniforms are #that shit is really something

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hamliet · 5 years

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Okay hi idk if u take tgre queations anymore but i came to say im reading tgre and i love your mutsuki metas so much!!!! I wanted to ask you though, why is mutsuki so hated in the fandom eventhough tgre is filled with murderers and mentally unstable kiddos?

I take them with hesitation and if it’s something I feel I haven’t said before! I am happy to hear you like my Mucchan metas.

I’ll answer this under a cut, though because the fandom is a bit scary.

I do think Mutsuki’s actions in 114 were triggering for many, and I think it’s fine for people to dislike a character for that (or for literally any reason or no reason at all). However, I wish people would let me struggle with being triggered by Kaneki killing kids instead of being told I hate mentally ill people for wanting him to realize he did a bad. Additionally, I have heard many, many people hated Mutsuki before this and so 114 just felt like ammunition to them, so yeah.

Which brings me to another point. Double standards. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that people were harder on a character with a vagina (since Mutsuki’s gender issues were… handled disastrously in text) who at the time was presented as possibly transgender, and who was the only character in the entire story with dark skin, than on the myriad other characters. I’m not saying people hated Mucchan because they’re racist, sexist, or transphobic, or ableist (I’ll get into that below), but I am saying that the amount of comments that were definitely one if not all of the four above on reddit tell me that at least that was the case for some. It’s also true that there are unconscious prejudices in many privileged people, which requires checking yourself. But again: it’s valid to dislike Mutsuki and have none of these play a role, so I don’t think it’s fair to accuse someone on the basis of disliking Mutsuki that they are one of those. They very likely are not.

Regarding the mental illness, Mutsuki is clearly coded as having a dissociative disorder. The portrayal of dissociative illnesses in fiction–especially dissociative identity disorder–is horrifying. “Put the mad dog down” was what people were saying, but there’s a reason there’s a fear of “split personality” illnesses (I’m simplifying the terms). It’s because the media shows them as monsters most of the time. See: Split. Most stories focus on “look at the horror and confusion of this freak you can never truly know!” not that they are a human being who is ill, who can recover or at least cope with their condition, and that dissociative illnesses are linked to the kinds of early childhood abuse you cannot possibly imagine. Ishida, to his credit, did make Mucchan just as human with just as much compassion (maybe more) than his other characters, but that’s a cultural thing that can’t be overcome just by one human portrayal.

That said, back to the double standards. Mutsuki was so damn similar to Kaneki–even in design, arc structure, etc. I mean, I wrote meta after meta about that, and I got death threats and “I feel sorry for your family” for making that comparison because clearly I “hate depressed people.” Which was hurtful, obviously. But really, I just wanted Mutsuki to be shown the same compassion and forgiveness that Kaneki was, and I wanted the narrative to hold Kaneki to the same standards of “hey, you are wrong to do this but I’ll save you anyways because I love you” that it held Mutsuki to.

#ask hamliet #mutsuki tooru #can't tag with the series name #Anonymous

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monstersdownthepath · 5 years

Text

Spiritual Spotlight: Ceyannan the Shepherd

True Neutral Psychopomp Usher of Final Words, Lost Souls, and Searches

Domains: Community, Repose, Protection, Strength Subdomains*: Home, Psychopomp, Purity, Resolve

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 7

Obedience: Seclude yourself somewhere silent and begin a prayer that causes blood to weep from your nose or existing wounds. Reflect for 1 hour on the isolation and the sound of blood dripping. Benefit: Gain a +4 insight bonus on Diplomacy checks to gather information and Survival checks when tracking.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals.)

The relentless and unstoppable retriever of lost mortal souls demands that you sit still and quiet while you bleed for an hour. There’s just something amusing by that to me.

Anyway, getting somewhere nice and quiet can be a lot harder than it sounds in some areas of the world, so I wonder if the Shepherd allows for areas of relative silence? It’s got to be quiet enough for you to hear your own blood dripping, so I suppose anywhere with little enough noise for that would suit this Obedience just fine. You’ve also got to seclude yourself, so someone barging in on your ritual voids the ENTIRE thing and forces you to start over, which can be harsh if an enemy attack interrupted it in the first place.

Now, for the elephant in the room: Bleeding everywhere. It’s not pretty. It’s going to smell. It’s going to stain everything that can be stained, so it’s best to get yourself some magical healing beforehand to shut up your other wounds to keep the blood flowing from your nose and only your nose. At that point, it’s like the world’s goriest and most unpleasant netti pot, except you’re more stuffed up afterwards! God, bleeding from your nose every single day is going to wreak unholy havoc on your poor sinuses. imagine the scabs! Imagine them. I did so you have to, too.

That can’t be healthy, either. A cruel DM may have some consequences for your daily bloodletting, so be prepared with Potions of Cure Nosebleed on the side. And speaking of, I find it a little strange that Ceyannan knows a prayer that makes you bleed on command. I’d imagine that takes a bit to learn--perhaps it’s a questline itself?--but I’d also imagine that pulling it off to freak out your allies or enemies on command can lead to a lot of hilarious scenarios that you should totally do at every opportunity.

Ironically, bleeding from your face apparently makes you a better diplomat than an intimidator. Unfortunately, both of these skill checks are narrow in their application; you can only gather information and track people more effectively, which DOES make you a scary bounty hunter... but little else.

Boons are gained slowly, gained at levels 12, 16, and 20. Servants of the Monitors, though, can enter the Proctor Prestige Class as early as level 8. If entered as early as possible, you can earn your Boons at levels 10, 14, and 16. You MUST take the Monitor Obedience feat, NOT Deific Obedience. Monitors grant only a single set of Boons.

Boon 1: Death's Hound. Gain Tireless Pursuit 3/day, Whispering Wind 2/day, or Countless Eyes 1/day.

Oh hey! It’s Tireless Pursuit again! And it’s just as bad here as it was with Barzahk!

Yawn. Moving on,

So, Whispering Wind and Countless Eyes! Wind is a strange spell to me. It travels an enormous distance over time (1 mile/level at anywhere from 1 mile an hour to 1 mile in 10 minutes), but aside from picking the destination of the spell, you have no real say in who gets to hear the message you deliver. Once it reaches a predetermined destination, it spouts your message whether or not anyone (or everyone) is around to hear it. One thing that confuses me is the second-to-last line in the spell: “When the spell reaches its objective, it swirls and remains in place until the message is delivered.” This seems to state that the message is only delivered when someone CAN hear it... But every single other portion of the spell indicates that the spell ends immediately upon reaching the objective. It’s weird!!!

Countless Eyes is weird in a different direction. Whoever you touch with this spell--including yourself--gets eyes growing all over their body. For an enormous 1 hour/level, the target has a swarm of disquieting eyes everywhere on their person, granting them all-around vision and immunity to being flanked. It’s funny to me that it mentions immunity to flanking when the universal monster ability All-Around Vision already confers immunity to flanking, but I suppose it’s just reminder text.

Anyway, it gives no real advantage to Perception or any huge combat benefit, but being immune to flanking can come in useful against monster swarms, and having eyes literally in the back of your head can prevent lots of ambushes. Slapping it on your scout before sending them in to get a look-around is just as viable as giving it to the squishy member of the party to keep them alert to incoming threats and preventing them from being crunched by flanking monsters, and its lengthy duration means it’ll likely last all day... Which is a double-edged sword if you have to interact with mundane folk.

Boon 2: Smell of Death. You gain the Scent ability. Your sense of smell is particularly acute in regard to Undead, granting you Blindsense (30 feet) for the purposes of detecting all forms of Undead.

Huh! Turns out having your nose bleed every single day for months sharpens your sense of smell! So much so that you gain a supernaturally acute nose that makes you very difficult to catch by surprise. Scent is a very low-key ability that can save you a lot of pain if you have it, catching wind of hidden foes lurking within 30ft of you and giving you a heads up as to what kind of enemies are nearby. Just make sure to actually pause now and then to actually take a deep breath, because a powerful nose is less useful if you’re huffing and puffing while you charge down a hallway!

Blindsense is Scent Except Bigger, a distinction that was always blurred in my head due to the similarly-named but significantly more powerful Blindsight, but Blindsense allows you to pinpoint the exact square a creature is hidden in and alerts you to the presence of beasties sneaking around you, though you still rely on your actual sight to properly hit them or defend against them. While limited to the Undead, the ability generously points out that it detects “all forms” of Undead, including invisible and incorporeal spirits or lurking haunts (ghostly ‘traps’ waiting to be sprung). If your DM frequently uses haunts, then this ability is just as valuable as some method of detecting traps, if not MORE due to its radius.

So yes, this is indeed a good ability even though it’s not as impressive as some Boons are. Being able to keep sneaky ghouls, wispy vampires, or creeping ghosts from getting the jump on you is worth quite a bit, and the general usefulness of Scent is something many may not expect.

Boon 3: Soul Lock. 1/day as a full-round action, you can trap the soul of a sentient creature that has died in the last minute, creating a soul gem (size Fine; 1 HP, 2 hardness). Anyone attempting to resurrect a creature whose soul you have trapped must make a caster level check (DC 10 + 1/2 your HD + Cha mod) or the spell fails. If the soul gem rests in an unholy location, the DC is raised by 2. On success, the soul gem is shattered and the soul is freed. You may also destroy a soul gem you have created as a standard action. You can maintain a number of soul gems equal to your Charisma modifier (min 1).

Ever wanted to make damn sure someone stayed dead? This ability is the equivalent of a level 9 spell, Soul Bind, but with some very important and powerful differences. Normally, trapping a soul is unfeasible due to the ridiculous material component cost (1000gp per HD of the target) and the fact it’s negated entirely by a save... However, Soul Lock bypasses both the need for materials AND grants the poor soul no save against being trapped in a gemstone, which technically means that this ability is more powerful than a level 9 spell.

Or, well, as powerful, since the tradeoff is that Soul Bind flat-out prevents all forms of attempted resurrection, whereas Soul Lock can be defeated with a caster level check. Still, though, having the gem potentially shattered due to the Big Bad’s minions bringing them back is a small price to pay for the fact that you can no-save-allowed slorp up the soul of any creature as soon as they die, no matter where they are. it even works on nonhumans, allowing you to snatch up the fleeing souls of powerful monsters with mechanics that allow them to come back over and over. ... No, you cannot trap a Great Old One, as most of them only debatably have souls and they tend to come back immediately, just manifesting in their slumbering forms.

The biggest issue with this power is what you do with the souls you’ve acquired. Delivering them to their proper afterlife is likely the best course of action, or dropping them off with the proper authorities in the Boneyard. Just leaving them to languish seems unnecessarily cruel and useless, considering the restriction to how many you can maintain, but assuring that they get what they deserve is a good enough use for this power. Interestingly, you can also steal a soul from a fate they don’t deserve and save them, this power technically allowing you to yank a soul back from the grips of a Devil, a Devourer, a Hag, or any number of foes with the power to tear the soul from the body.

You don’t even have to be present for the death itself to capture or rescue someone, because if you’ll notice, there’s no listed range limit on this ability. You can actually snatch away a soul that died a world or even a whole plane away provided you’re aware of it!

You can read more about them here.

#Spiritual Spotlight #Neutrality Notes #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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makeste · 5 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 226: Oh Shit We’re Caught Up

Previously on BnHA: The still-captured Giran warned Re-Des that the League wasn’t going to give a shit about rescuing him, and reminded him that if the League sicced a Noumu on the Army they were as good as dead. But Re-Des was all “nah they don’t have any Noumus to sic at the moment” and give an annoyingly thorough summary of his deductive reasoning. Meanwhile in the town, Kizuki, a.k.a. the Rita Skeeter of BnHA, pestered Toga for an interview. She seemed to have done her research, too -- she knew Toga’s age, and that she ran away from home after graduating middle school. None of Toga’s friends or family saw it coming, apparently, and Kizuki -- whose quirk allows her to turn anything she touches into a bomb -- wanted to know the deal. She allowed Toga to suck up some of her subordinates’ blood, then promptly exploded it. She then asked Toga why she’d abandoned her normal life. In response, Toga smiled one of her crazy smiles and was all “a normal life? what’s that?” Lol okay. Anyway, the last few pages were peppered with as-yet-unexplained flashback scenes, so I’m guessing we’re about to find out just what makes this girl tick at long last.

Today on BnHA: We explore Toga’s backstory in a series of flashbacks. Basically her quirk gave her a fascination for blood which her quirk counseling never properly addressed, and so one day she just snapped and killed a dude. But she was such a cute little kid though. Whatever Toga I still love you. Anyway, so back in the present, Kizuki tries to psychoanalyze Toga and makes her out to be a victim of a society that doesn’t have a place for her. Kizuki says that Toga will become a martyr for the Liberation Army’s cause. But Toga is all “fuck that” and breaks free of Kizuki’s clutches, transforming into Ochako using the last of the blood she took back during the forest arc. Kizuki mocks the seemingly useless transformation, stating that she knows Toga can only change her appearance on the outside. Unfortunately for Kizuki, this isn’t entirely the case, as it’s revealed that while transformed, Toga is able to use the quirks of whoever she turns into. She proceeds to float Kizuki way up into the air and then release her, splattering her onto the ground. Like, she’s definitely dead now, oh shit. Anyways so it’s pretty awesome, albeit grisly as all heck. Now to wait for the rest of the League to follow suit and kick some Liberation Army ass.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, which, wait, this is chapter 226. Oh shit lol. But I’m posting this a week after I first read the chapter so any ETAs will reflect that.)

okay so we’re opening with a flashback to a news story or something?

injured but didn’t kill? that doesn’t sound like the Toga we all know and love :’)

hey what the

is Toga not her real name??? didn’t we get confirmation from Gran Torino back during the Pizza Delivery mission? what’s up with that

(ETA: this is really weird, though. they never once refer to her by name during any of the flashback scenes. maybe this is just for stylistic purposes? I don’t think her name is supposed to be any sort of big secret but who knows?)

anyway so yeah

that just means she lub him, guys. that’s just how she is. poor Saito

(ETA: btw Caleb Cook pointed out on his Twitter that this looks to be the Deku lookalike from the previous chapter. so if he was one of AFO’s kids, that’s kind of interesting that AFO had no issue with Tomura hiring his son’s killer later on. I don’t personally think there was any AFO relation though.)

oh wow

rude. that’s my best girl you’re talking about. she’s just a little vampirish, what? Vlad King can make people’s blood fucking do tricks, and you don’t see anyone accusing *him* of being devil spawn. smh

awwwww

cats do this all the time and people fucking love cats! I’m telling you, these are double standards!

oh hey we’re back in the present

so Kizuki is all “so you think you’re living normally? lol you weirdo” basically

and she’s looking at the smiling blood-covered Toga and is all “so this is your ‘true face’“

she’s calling her “the very embodiment of the dark side of superhuman society.” girl what

okay look, I’m not saying Toga doesn’t have a screw or two loose. and yes, she is very fond of blood. but if we’re going to call someone the literal embodiment of the dark side of society then can I interest you in a few other choice candidates, though?? Toga is what we like to call Mostly Evil. there’s a big difference between Mostly Evil and All Evil! Mostly Evil is Slightly Good! whereas with All Evil, well, with All Evil there’s usually only one thing you can do. (accuse them of being the protagonist’s Secret Dad.)

anyways

nooooo my sweet demented child is coughing and teetering onto the ground

jesus it’s almost like she’s been FUCKING BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT good grief

and now Kizuki is all “you poor thing.” hey Kizuki you can fuck off right now thanks

HEY

LADY UNLESS YOU WANT TO CATCH THESE HANDS YOU HAD BETTER STEP AWAY FROM MY POOR HURT CHILD AND STOP TOUCHING HER FUCKING FACE

-- oh shit, though!!

[flips open notebook; clicks pen] don’t mind me lady please continue

I mean, I would imagine one of the goals of the program would be to embrace the fact that you’re different. that’s hardly an isolating thing in a society like this one where everyone is so unique that the established word for their superpowers literally means “individuality”

(ETA: on a reread, it actually sounds like the program is intended to do just the opposite of that and the goal is to get everyone to fit in. how the hell they expect to accomplish that in a society where everyone has wacky abilities is beyond me! no wonder the program has issues if this really is the case though.)

but anyways I’m sorry to interrupt, please keep talking about quirk counseling and how it didn’t work for Toga while I sit here and quietly take my notes

you guys oh no she’s too damn cute. I can’t

oh boy

?? and why the hell not, though? sure it might freak some people out that she likes her steaks a little rarer than most, but I don’t see why they couldn’t have accommodated this the same as any other quirk. people donate blood all the time; couldn’t she have gotten a legal supply for her own medical needs? the live animals and such are a bit weird, true, but again, it’s not all that different from what your cat would get up to given half the chance. I feel like they could have found other outlets for her to channel some of that bloodlust, while helping to sate any physical cravings with the aforementioned donated blood supply. if you ask me, whoever counseled her dropped the ball honestly

(ETA: and her parents, too. this makes me want to rewatch the first season of Dexter actually. too bad Toga’s parents weren’t like Dexter’s dad.)

anyway let’s watch society fail poor Toga

well that didn’t take long

see this seriously doesn’t make any sense to me though. IT’S QUIRK SOCIETY, GUYS. NO ONE IS FUCKING NORMAL. WHY CAN’T YOU BE BETTER PARENTS. HOW ABOUT THAT ONE THOUGH

I honestly can’t decide if I’m glad we got more insight into Toga’s headspace, or annoyed that they went and gave her Secret Angst. the problem is I don’t think she needed Secret Angst in order to be a good character, or a likable one. I’m not so sure I really like the implication here that It’s Not Toga’s Fault, Because Society Failed Her. like, I’ve talked about my feelings on this kind of thing before. I prefer It Is Her Fault But She Owns It Though. just because I like when characters take responsibility for their own shit and it’s not just excused or handwaved

but on the other hand, Toga is the type of character who doesn’t need redemption so much as rehabilitation. so it is good to get some kind of an idea as to why she went off the rocker, in that respect. idk. I have mixed feelings, maybe by the time I post this recap I’ll have sorted it out more in my head lol

(ETA: yeah so after reflecting on it some more, it’s more like she was always the way she is, and was just repressing it, and then one day got tired of repressing it. being told she should act one way when she felt like her true self was someone totally different. so it’s not really “society fucked her up” so much as “she was already a little kooky and they just failed to properly address it until it was too late.” so that’s fine, I guess. it’s about what I expected. and hey, at least we got some cute Baby Toga scenes out of the bargain, so.)

anyway now Toga’s making to stab Kizuki and shouting at her to shut up. oh damn

OH DAMN

(ETA: oh you might want to be careful with that Detnerat merch though, lady. seems to be on par with Hammer Tech in terms of reliability.)

DID YOU BLOW UP TOGA’S FUCKING FACE HOLY FUCK

HOLY SHIT SHE REALLY DID

if that’s the case then why are you guys trying to kill her

oh for fuck’s

said sacred text will gloss over exactly how she died though, I suppose? you guys are such fucking hypocrites. you act like you’re the saviors of the world bringing freedom to everyone, but those ideals only seem to hold up so long as they’re convenient. “blah blah blah society is so evil and doesn’t care about people like you. meanwhile we will straight up murder your ass, but never fear, your death will help ensure that no one else has to endure the cruelty of this apathetic world”

like, imagine beating someone with a stick, while screaming at them about how society wants to beat them with a lot more sticks just like this, but not to worry though because their death will make sure no more people get beaten to death with sticks by society. I’m really bad with metaphors you guys, but do you feel me though? just, fuck these guys so hard

I like that Kizuki apparently seems to think Toga is actually dead, though, because honestly. she should be, lol

...or maybe she doesn’t think that, because now she’s asking Toga to correct her if she made any mistakes with her conjectures

and Toga is rolling out of her grasp and ducking off!

GO TOGA!! RUN LIKE THE WIND! I DON’T LIKE HER EITHER! EXACTLY, YOU’RE NOT UNFORTUNATE, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING. she’s trying to make you out to be some helpless little victim, but it’s like, bitch, she chose to be evil in order to live her best life so go fuck yourself

TOGAAAAAA

THANK YOU!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SECRET ANGST BULLSHIT. STOP ACCUSING HER OF FAKING IT LIKE YOU KNOW HER SO DAMN WELL

she says that just as everyone else kisses people that they like, she sucks blood from the people she likes

EYYYYYYYYY

YESSSSSSSSS TOGA THIS IS WHY YOU’RE MY BEST GIRL

oh my god. okay so someone sent me an anon ask early Thursday afternoon (ETA: this was last Thursday April 25; I read the chapter on the 26th) to the effect of “the mystery has been solved; she CAN use quirks”, so I’m getting an inkling that we’re about to see Toga do some zero gravity bullshit and I’m here for it. but unfortunately I’m spoiled for it. please give me time to read the new chapters when they come out, guys. since I’m writing down my reactions, I’m not able to just read the manga on my phone as soon as chapters come out; the whole process takes me a good hour or two usually, and I prefer to read on my computer since the keyboard comes in handy when I’m typing out a novel in response to whatever bullshit is happening lol. so with work and everything, that usually means I don’t get around to it until the late afternoon/evening most of the time

anyways I know I probably sound bitchy but it’s not really a big deal. but I just wanted to bring this up now, because if and when Horikoshi finally reveals Kacchan’s hero name 17 years from now and I get spoiled on that before I read it, that’ll be a different story lol. I will rampage, guys. or more likely I’ll just learn to turn my asks off on Thursdays and Fridays until the chapter is read! anyways!

-- hold up, quick question, can Toga heal herself by transforming into someone else?? it just occurred to me, and I need to know right this instant

so Kizuki is all “I see, you keep a stock of blood!” and I was like “duh” but then I remembered Kizuki didn’t read the Basement arc. so

well that answers that. shoot

-- except hold up, again! because Spoiled Me knows that’s not actually the case! she can use quirks too! so maybe it can heal her. I mean, this lady didn’t even know until one chapter ago that Toga used blood to transform, so I don’t know where she’s getting all this “I’m well aware!” bullshit from. you don’t know shit

so she’s laughing and mocking Toga and saying she probably just wanted to look cute when she dies

...I mean, I was about to get indignant, but in all honestly why did Toga transform into her though?

so basically she transformed into her because she envies her? is that why she listed her on her list of People She Officially Likes?

but her saying that she wants to get closer to the person she loves makes me think she hasn’t given up. if she’s anything like All Might (you know, because everyone is always comparing Toga to All Might), thinking about Izuku is probably helping motivate her to stay alive!

lol, yep

and oh shit I think the thing is happening!!

holy fucking shit, wait up. I was all “so what, she’s going to float her to death?” and then it all of a sudden occurred to me just how fucking deadly Ochako’s power actually is, which I never thought about before because this deadly power was safely in the hands of the sweetest, kindest girl in existence who’s never tried to use it for anything remotely sinister aside from that one time she tried to crush Bakugou with hundreds of rocks

but like, she could float her all the way out into space, if she wanted! but the much more likely option, especially given that this is a series where falling from things actually hurts, is that she could simply float her up and then fucking splatter her on the ground holy shit

aaaaaaand up she goes!

yeah that’s right lady. “only her appearance changes” my ass

holy shit

SHE’S ALREADY SO HIGH, HOLY FUCK THIS IS TERRIFYING SHE REALLY IS GOING TO DROP HER ISN’T SHE

now she’s running around and tagging all the rest of them too!

holy shit!!!! I can’t! my brain’s going like a mile a minute because not only did Toga just get 1000% deadlier, but Ochako did too, retroactively! and just, so much newfound respect and awe for my girls

HOLY SHIT

SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW??! you seriously never once realized this this entire time??

quirk counseling has failed her in more ways than one. she could have gone to U.A.! she could have made an amazing hero. honestly she still could aside from the fact that she doesn’t want to. (and also, y’know. the murders. and such)

ahhhh now she’s coughing up blood, so I guess that’s a no on the “can she heal” question then

honestly that makes no sense if it only transforms her on the outside. half of the outside is based off of what’s inside! if you’re changing appearances that should mean your entire body transforms. particularly if she can use quirks! it means her DNA is transforming too

but whatever, for the sake of enjoying the story I’ll just shut up about this now though

anyway so Kizuki is all “it can’t be”, just as thousands of villains have said before her, usually immediately after it was incontrovertibly proven to them that Yes It Can Be Though

she’s asking if Ochako’s quirk got stronger just now because of her fear of death

and Toga is all “nope”

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

SHE DID FUCKING SPLATTER HER, HOLY SHIT!? HORIKOSHI “LET’S CHOP OFF ALL FIVE OF HIS FINGERS!” KOUHEI STRIKES AGAIN

and fucking lol at Toga thinking she’s just like Izuku because her body is all beaten up and dying. :’D Deku you’re such a terrible role model

and so I guess she’s fully on board with Tomura’s whole “destroy everything” plan now, then. well shit. I wonder how quickly they’ll be able to heal her up. what with her being so absurdly powerful all of a sudden, I wonder if her injuries will have a lasting effect on her ability to use her quirk, similar to what happened to Aizawa after USJ. might be a good idea honestly

lastly, “cute is evil” makes absolutely no sense, but damned if I’m not 100% on board with that slogan. just something about it that I like. or maybe it’s just due to the context here, lol. whatever it is, I’d buy a coffee mug with that printed on it

and here we go. so that’s it for new chapters until May 10th or thereabouts. if only there was something coming out in the interim that could tide my superhero cravings over. like a new Avengers movie or some shit. lol

(ETA: I have to hand it to Endgame, it’s done its job distracting me and then some. I’ve seen it twice now and it’s just as devastating the second time! I’m just about finished working my way through the five stages of grief now though, so we’re good. but now that I’m done wallowing, I need my villain arc to come along and cheer me up again. come on Tomura. do your thing boy.)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 226 #toga himiko #uraraka ochako #lol sort of #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #methinks it's time to go back and figure out how many different people's blood toga has collected #the only two I can think of off the top of my head are deku and camie #the latter is probably a non-issue since she only had an infinitesimal amount #and in all likelihood she'd run into the same problem as monoma if she tried to duplicate ofa #camie on the other hand is a whole different can of worms #she could potentially do *so much damage* you guys #and who knows how much blood she has since she had her in captivity for days #this is a potential gamechanger as far as villain plans go #can't wait to see what they get up to after this arc

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wolfenwingsshop · 6 years

Photo

WHOOOOOOF

SO BIG POST Y’ALL.

My Rockman X Anniversary Collection Soundtrack made it in today! Many thanks to my beloved husband Zeekun for getting this for me while I finished my shift up at work. (It was registered air-mail, so I had to send someone to sign for it for me!) Ok, so right into it- there is SO much going on here and I may have to make double-posts to fit it all in.

So since I ordered the ‘First Press’ I got a special sleeve that had that AMAZING ARTWORK of the four hunters all doing their little gig (I still swear that image of X on the special sleeve alone was worth the 40 dollars I paid to get this thing. I love seeing him happy, damnit.) Inside the sleeve is the CD in it’s standard packaging.

The tambourine wielding Met is still present too! Considering I once cosplayed as a giant Met at a few Otakons, and when I was in WAS we had a ‘pet’ Metool we named ‘Tooley’, it’s kinda like my past was coming back to greet me. Can I be considered the Met? I will gladly shake a little tambourine around if I get to jam with X. C’mon now.

So there’s no way they didn’t know some of us were going to import the CD. Why would you include the forward from singer/writer of the English version of Re;Future IN ENGLISH if you didn’t expect non-Japanese people to import it?! THE FACT THAT SHE’S AN X FANGIRL MAKES ME GIDDY AS SHIT.

The art in the booklet is basically CD-sized versions of the art for MMXLC 1 and 2 and then some of the Mavericks behind the CD... The CD itself though... Hoooo nelly..

Ok, easily, this is the most gawddamned beautiful CD I now own. It’s got metallic blue circuitry accents and X in full without that text over him and-- NNNNHhhhggg... I can’t. This was so worth it. And the crazy thing was, when I first found out about the CD and saw the original image of them all playing and performing, I was like “God, fuggin’ a. What if they did a Miku/Squid-Sisters like concert and literally had hologram versions of them play at a real venue?” For whatever reason, I could imagine X staring at the crowd with his guitar with a happy, slightly cocky grin-- and then later when I got into that MM Media Creators discord and found THIS IMAGE it was literally what I saw in my head just days before and admittedly I LOST MY SHIT. This happens to me wayyyy too frequently but that is another time. @_@;; Anyhow-- what I was hoping for- aside X being.. well, X, and making wolfens nosebleed everywhere-- were the english lyrics for Re;Future.

SO AGAIN IN TYPICAL CAPCOM FASHION- They had their Localization director write/translate Re;Future from Japanese to English and then later sing it as well. From what I understand, they also had some issues with recording and it lost some audio quality, some of which they had t manually restore- but from what I understand, Miss Hsu is not a native English speaker so there’s some mispronunciations here and there. Zero and I were trying to get lyrics down for DAYS but we kept mis-guessing what was being said- so since my CD was in the states on Sunday night, we decided to wait till we had official lyrics. SO glad we did, cause I think our ‘hints’ at X9 lie in this song and it’s lyrics.

At first, with the ‘blasting through anything’, especially given you have to use X to blast through the credits to get this song to unlock and play, I was like “OK, THIS IS X SINGING. Well not literally BUT IT’S HIS PERSPECTIVE.” This has happened before, RockmanHolic’s Re:Loaded was sung from X’s perspective even though it was a girl singing. So there’s that.

Then as I was listening, I was mis-hearing lyrics, I was thinking she was saying ‘purple crystal’ and ‘purple heart’ which made me think of Iris- especially if you play X Challenge mode volume 1 and get to the final fight- I was like “OMFG, what if we’re getting Iris back for X9?!” That may still happen based on X Challenge mode, but still. Everything else just coincided with X so strongly, so I was still torn. Plus, the achievement you get for unlocking Re;Future is called “Identity Erased”... And given we have new Giga Armor toys where X has a Rush of his own and in MvCI he slides just like Classic’s Rock does, Iiii.. I’m starting to wonder if we’re looking at the starts of a Retcon and they’re going to confirm X and Rock are one and the same. I’ve got other stuff that points at that, I’m working on a video explaining it all, so when I’m done I’ll explain more. Anyhow...

I figure if anyone wants a crack, here’s the Japanese lyrics. I can’t read a lick of ‘em (legit, only things I can read in Japanese are “Rockman”, “X”, and “Zero”. That. Is. It.) so if like, Sky or anybody else who has knowledge wants to see if they match up to the English lyrics, be my guest! My friend Alkaid of over-ti.me already has these, so I’m sure she’s probably gonna be getting her buddies in to take a crack at these sometime soon. For now, I wrote-out the English lyrics if you guys wanna copy-paste them, etc. Fragments of me lie in the darkness waiting to be found All I see around me are shadows, No matter how I may try, and so I keep on looking to find a light that will guide me, I won't give up the fight Why am I here? What is my purpose?

Running for all I'm worth, I shout Reaching ahead I throw my arms to the wind Even if it takes all I have, With the last of my voice I'll cry...... I'll call with all of my soul

This sparkling uncontainable light Spilling over a brand new world Its brightness dazzles, dizzying and blinding But I don't wanna close my eyes or look away All these boundless feelings Cascading over a brand new world I'll keep them with me for just a little bit longer I'll keep them safe here until the next world arrives

At long last I found my answers waiting in the darkness I know why I'm here and my purpose I won't return to that loneliness, and so I'll keep pushing onwards Blasting through anything that tries to stand in my way I will fight, I will! Even by myself or for a barren world

Two lights shine brightly showing me the way, and I take courage the they have given me to fight for what I truly believe Nothing can stop me!

Running for all I'm worth, I shout Reaching ahead, I throw my arms to the wind Even if it takes all I have, With the last of my voice I'll cry...... I'll call with all of my soul

This strongly beating hopeful heart Filled to the brim by a brand new world Through people's kindness it learned of warmth and yet It wasn't whole until it learned what peace was at last This utopic brand new world Filled to the brim with hopeful light There's no going back -- not for me, there's only forwards Until that day when the world of our dreams arrives

Whew. Huuuge post! Thanks guys! Wolfie out! ^_^ Now, remember, we plan on streaming more MMXLC tonight and tomorrow, over at my Twitch Channel (twitch.tv/wolfshadow6) so feel free to drop over tonight or tomorrow! Zero and I plan on going through all the games and getting ALL the achievements!

#megamanx #megaman x #mmxlc #mmx #zero #axl #alia #rockman #rockman x #mmxlc ost #ost #soundtrack

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manifestoonmoralmanlove · 6 years

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Jealousy Rant

Hello you Rotten Folks,

Due to real life stuff I have been posting less frequently but in particular that long-form stuff. So have this big olde rant on jealousy in BL I may or may not edit more, and may or may not make into audio.

Triggers: for discussion on abusive behavior including physical violence, stalking, controlling behavior, and sexual assault.

Why jealousy is a bad trope:

1.) It’s toxic

2.) It’s non-conflict

3.) It doesn’t actually deal with the roots of jealousy

Are you a fan of Fap’s furious fujoshi fumes, but want a meta-analysis of the genre as a whole instead of specific titles?

Oh no it seems literally no one is asking for that…no one except Faps and FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT HAHA!

So that brings me to “Trouble with Tropes” or heh heh TROUPLES!

Anybody who’s ANY fan of romance has had to stare into the unrelenting green eyes of this trouple. I speak of no other than Jealousy. While I think some of what I’m going to say will resonate with how jealousy is used in fiction on a whole, I’m going to focus on how it’s used in BL…which I feel is a very potent and distilled version of it. Also heaven forbid I read about anything beyond nasty gay tonguings.

What better place to start than What IS jealousy?

Jealousy can cover a variety of topics but in the case of romance here I will be talking specifically about romantic and sexual jealousy.

Dictionary.com states that - feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship.

Seems to be the one best suited for a romance but I’d argue that the definition that suits BL’s brand of jealousy is more like

fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions.

Why do I say this?

Well because sometimes they literally say their partner is a possession. And even if not outright stated, it is heavily implied in the script.

(examples: Cute Devil + lamb project + Radical blood monster + Others)

There’s also the fact that very rarely is infidelity even considered a legitimate thing that would occur. As I said, the jealousy in BL is very, very POTENT and therefore has escalated beyond a suspicion of COULD BE UNFAITHFUL to a PERSON IS MY PROPERTY AND MY PROPERTY IS NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH OTHER HUMANS!

Getting real

Before I start ripping through this topic like a repressed teenage boy rips through a heavily populated street in Grand theft Auto… allow me to say that jealousy is a valid emotion to experience. When I rip on this trope it is not my intention to invalidate people who do struggle with jealousy in their relationships. However if you experience an emotion it doesn’t give you carte blanche to behave in any way you please. It’s the same as regular old anger. It’s normal to be angry if a partner forgets to let the dog out so the dog pees on the rug. However beating the shit out of that partner is NOT the right way to handle the forgetfulness or your own anger. Same with jealousy, it’s not unusual to get jealous of someone close to their partner. However that person responding to that with physically removing them, and screaming threats at them is SUPER NOT OKAY! Yet that is not uncommon in BL.

One must also maintain an acceptable amount of jealousy in order to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s not wrong to feel really angry or sad when you’re jealous…but if you get these feelings ALL THE TIME and due to things that are not a threat to your relationship, then that’s something to manage rather than something to blame on your partner. Capice?

TOXIC

The main problem is that the jealousy that is common in BL is HELLA TOXIC! Jealousy is regularly tied to deeper issues of personal insecurity yet the fact there is any kind of insecurity is very rarely mentioned in the text or even subtext of the story. Instead of this becoming a problem that one has to deal with on a personal level, it becomes a problem of the other having to obtain unrealistic standards. Sometimes the source of the jealousy is not a feasible such as a TODDLER NEPHEW or the fact that strangers GLANCE AT THEM when in public and sometimes the source of the jealousy isn’t even human. I have seen characters throw jealousy tantrums over pets, work (school or career orientated), and even the vague concept of a SPORT! So if you’re trying to avoid jealousy in a BL make sure you don’t go to school, don’t have a job, don’t own pets, don’t have family, don’t go out in public, and DEAR GOD don’t have hobbies either! Woah faps those things aren’t humans so it’s not like romantic or sexual jealousy. That’s a fair point…but the thing is the romantic/sexual jealousy functions the exact same way in those non-sexual/romantic scenarios. HOW COULD THAT BE???? Well the jealousy that we see here is in part about being left out when a partner does other things but is in large part about dominance. You got no other man to posture against? Well then just posture at a child, a puppy, or at a basketball why not?

Not only does jealousy crop up to unreasonable situations, an unreasonable amount of time (I’d estimate it occurs in 80% of BL mangas) but the way it’s handled is usually problematic as well.

The most common response I’ve seen to jealousy is the seme grabbing the uke by the wrist, dragging him away from the source of jealousy, pinning him to a wall, explaining that the source of jealousy is bad for the uke or that the uke is behaving poorly/stupidly by simply interacting with the source of jealousy, and they a fit of forceful jealousy induced make-outs or sex occurs that range from consensual to downright very non-consensual. Sometimes the uke will protest this treatment or the characterization of the jealousy fodder but this is pointless because it doesn’t become a conversation. It is simply about the seme controlling the uke and asserting his dominance.

Stalking is also extremely common if there is suspected jealousy. Troubling jealousy behavior can range from as tame as going through someone’s phone without permission to drugging, kidnapping, and nearly killing a partner for one of these trespasses.

HEY HEY HEY NOW! You man-hater! Ukes can be super creepy jealous too! …but ukes are men too… THAT’S NOT THE POINT! You’re acting as if only dominant partners experience jealousy!

No, no, no, you’re right. Ukes get jealous too and sometimes to the same batty degree. Yet, as a whole, uke jealousy tends to be less common and less destructive than jealousy of the seme variety. The most common situation where an uke gets jealous of what a seme is doing is, the uke is pushed into a corner to admit he’s jealous. The seme will reassure the uke he’s misunderstood and they make up. On one hand you can argue that this is a much healthier way to settle a jealousy problem. On another hand you may view this as something of a double standard.

If the uke’s jealous…it’s the uke’s fault and it’s nothing to worry about. If the seme’s jealous...it’s the uke’s fault and it’s deadly serious.

This double standard even extends into how we view violent reactions for either side. If a seme hits an uke for a trespass it will usually be framed as serious and scary. If the uke hits the seme for a trespass it will usually be framed as a silly, and harmless outburst of tsundereness.

…Yes that’s right, the patriarchal set up of the seme/uke dynamic doesn’t just take a shit on ukes….though 9 times out of 10 it’s the ukes that do get the short end of the stick here.

Okay but let’s get the root of the problem…why is jealousy used?

If you’re a person who is not a bitter feminist killjoy who says aggravating SJW shit like, “TOXIC MONOGOMY CULTURE OPRRESSES MY GENDER NEUTRAL GENITLES” you may argue that jealousy is romantic. I personally don’t think it is, but you’re fully allowed to view jealousy, as a concept, as a touching display of vulnerability and investment in a relationship.

However if you’re a cynical over-thinking fujoshi brimming with resentment to the genre you’ve mistakeningly dedicated your free time to, you may say the frequent use of jealousy is simply because it’s EASY WRITING!

It’s handy throw-away drama you can use in an established relationship that won’t have deeper ramifications for the relationship even if it’s on-going. You can solve this pretty easily at any given point or decide to reintroduce it despite it previously being wrapped up. You can use this almost TOTALLY regardless of either of the characters’ personalities or back stories. It’s good for a quick antagonist, or to tantalize fans with a different flavor of sexual tension. This is usually dependent on the gender of the jealousy fodder.

Ugh I’ve heard you use the term ~jealousy fodder~ like a billion times. Why do you call it that?

Because these characters rarely have anything going for them besides the fact they’re the conflict du-jour. You’d be hard pressed to learn an interest of the fodder’s outside of “TRYING TO BANG PROTAG!” and they rarely do anything else in the story besides create this shallow drama. Sometimes the jealousy drama is totally auxiliary to the main conflict of the story to boot. If you’re lucky and ONLY if you’re lucky the fodder will be shuffled into another couple. Sometimes you won’t even see this jealousy used in a love triangle way. It’s usually pretty obvious from the beginning that the protag is going to choose even if the other option is an objectively better person and choice for them.

In my years of reading BL I have only encountered 2 instances of a character being jealous and the other character ACTUALLY cheats on him. (Zetsuai Bronze and Totally Captivated.) Now people have different standards of what “cheating” is. Some goes so far as to say that “Thinking about cheating” is CHEATING. Even by that (pretty ridged standard) I would still say only the above.

Despite this low, low number, I see jealousy used in manga 80% of the time. Are you picking up what I’m putting down here? A breach of actual trust is not actually going to happen…99.99% of the time. Oh but what if the jealousy is something a character has to work through to feel less anxious? Excellent idea! I’ve seen that approach FUCKING ONCE! (Café Latte Rhapsody) So if there is no actual threat of trust breaching and it’s not something either of them has to work through on a mental or emotional level….WHAT KIND OF CONFLICT IS THAT?

NON-FUCKING-CONFLICT IS WHAT!

I’d be much more entertained by staring into my own fucking bellybutton….but faps obviously you would since you navel-gaze as if you have a gemstone there. IF I BELIEVE HARD ENOUGH I’LL BECOME I CRYSTAL GEM OKAY!?!?!?!?

Eh-hem!

But you will see jealousy commonly used in one instance of actually plot important drama. And that is the ever, important, cementing of a couple’s relationship. I call the use of jealousy in this instance:

TOY TRUCK CONSUMATION

Da fuck is that? Toy truck consummation is a character will only realize he truly cares romantically for someone because he experiences jealousy. He didn’t want that toy truck until somebody else was going to play with it. Thankfully I don’t see this often outside of high school settings. A grown-ass man who is that fucking blind to his own feelings and childish enough to throw a tantrum out of it, can fuck RIGHT OFF! ….Though honestly teenagers behaving that way is still deeply shitty.

This is not an auspicious beginning to a loving relationship, if it’s formulated over single-mindedly hating a 3rd party, a 3rd party that is typically on good-terms with the target of affection. So, a relationship we’re supposed to root for is predicated on a dude swooping in and ripping a valued person away from them for entirely selfish reasons. I wouldn’t consider it dreamy if a seme threw an uke’s beloved play station 4 out the window because it holds the ukes attention sometimes. I consider it even less dreamy when it’s something even more valued like yanno a friend. (Though of course this can happen from the uke to the seme as well.) While sometimes, this individual is romantically interested in one of our leads…I’d say a good half the time if not more…they’re not at all.

“Why are you losing your mind over someone, you’re not dating, hanging out with their friend? Even if the friend very obviously has 0 romantic or sexual interest in them? Is it because you’re an anal fungus that causes people to shit their pants for no reason? It’s probably because you’re a parasitic ass mushroom that makes people poop uncontrollably”

This, also, is pretty damn lazy. Writing someone coming to grips with a difficult emotion is hard in itself. Writers will usually use 3rd parties to help bounce information back to a struggling individual to help give them insight. And that can be used in this case as well! Interacting with another couple, talking to someone who’s an out LGBTQ person, or even just a friend or relative that can relate! However all of that is harder to pull off as melodramatically as a petty fuck-lord gut-punching a jealousy fodder out of the blue. Hoo boy sonny! We should have a parade in his honor cause golly isn’t that the way to handle your problems!

But what if the jealousy fodder was really after them?

Then I would say the story may feature the trope….

Irrational jealousy magiced into rational jealousy!

What I mean is that there is a dominant that appears to be irrationally jealous. There is no indication in the text the jealousy fodder is not on the up and up and the dominant is not privy to classified documents that make him secretly suspicious. However turns out the harmless friend, acquaintance, co-worker, boss, mail man etc is actually a heartless rapist just trying to lower the submissive’s guard.

This trope makes me foam at the mouth because not only is it cheap, cliché, and annoying but it justifies abusive behavior. It states that No matter what crazy shit that lunatic boyfriend of yours spouts he’s fucking infallible. If he tells you that the atmosphere has become poisonous to you and the only breathable air is in his testicles, you better clamp down on that cocktail wiener like a pit-bull because any damn self-serving nonsense he spews must be followed to the fucking letter. Why? Because he is a mind-reader, a genius, and a clairvoyant with flawless judgment by nature of being born a DOMINANT MAN! TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

May I just add this is not a trope specific to BL but a trope that makes me want to drink into a stupor each time I see it.

Well if you’re so fucking relationship savy, how would you handle jealousy in stories huh!?

…By actually tackling the causes of jealousy which are very rarely acknowledged in BL. As far as I can tell there are 3 major roots of jealousy.

1.) Insecurity – I am not a good enough partner so my significant other is going to drop me as soon as they find somebody better.

2.) Distrust – My partner does not respect our monogamous agreement and will sleep with other people if they can get away with it.

3.) Missing out - I feel left out if my partner is doing something without me.

I have seen all three roots play a role in fictional jealousy outbursts and they’re usually tied intimately together. However the 1st two are the keys here.

Mistrust is an interesting situation because 99% of the time the mistrust is not that the partner will sleep around given the chance. However the mistrust is shown as more of a, “I cannot trust my partner to avoid situations where they’ll be sexually assaulted.”

While this is framed as a jealousy issue at times, I don’t think it should. Why? If a character is sexually assaulted it is NOT the victims fault. But haha welcome to the 50 foot deep pit of backwards sexual politics that is BL. YOU’RE WELCOME!

Insecurity plays a large role in BL jealousy…but I have only seen it addressed directly as a failing of personal confidence once. (Café Latte Rhapsody)

Most of the time characters that are subtextualy highly insecure are portrayed as powerful and that their jealousy tantrums is just ~how strong men act~ rather than ~they obviously hate themselves and fear their partner would find someone better.~

I’ll be quite frank, a lot of the time…they’re correct the uke could do a lot better than the jerkass seme they’re saddled with. However, instead of changing their negative behavior for the better they just control the uke’s every movements which is yanno not doing the uke OR the seme any favors. Sometimes this functions realistically in a story like in Space Between where Riki is an unwilling sex slave and Iason keeps him under his thumb. However the majority of them treat this like a normal and healthy relationship…but

Wouldn’t it be better if one is not constantly wracked with fear over their partner leaving them?

Wouldn’t it be better if the other can have friends and leave the house?

I’m not saying the two can’t struggle with issues of jealousy…but I mean…can’t we treat jealousy like something they work on together instead of just,

“I can’t believe you talked to them! I DIDN’T MEAN TO!”

That sound clip? Just play it on loop

“WELP LET’S HAVE THIS SAME EXACT PISSING CONTEST FOR THE 90TH FUCKING TIME! IT’S NOT GOING TO BE DIFFERENT NEXT TIME BECAUSE WE’RE NOT GOING TO TREAT IT LIKE ADULTS WOULD!”

So the problem with jealousy as a trope in romance and BL fiction is thus:

1.) It’s toxic, doesn’t treat it as toxic, and sometimes justifies the toxicity.

2.) It’s pathetic, cliché, non-conflict

3.) It doesn’t really even understand what jealousy is.

#trouples #trouble with tropes #rant #my rant #jealousy

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inventors-fair · 3 years

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Three Cheese Commentary: An exercise in utility

I really shouldn’t complain about contests being popular with people.

Still, what a way for the year’s contests to start. A heckuva lot of entries for a very hard prompt makes me feel good, in an odd way. I have a hypothesis that the clarity of directions and the examples provided were enough to make it feel as though there was a low barrier to entry. It’s interesting and kind of my fault that a lot of mythic legendary creatures found their way in. Ah well. Lessons learned.

If you’re reading this, I want to give you a little hint: we love hard decisions. If your cards really are brilliant, if you do your best to improve with each and every entry, if you listen to the commentary and submit the best possible card, then our jobs as judges would be nail-bitingly hard. And I love that. I love having to sigh wistfully and move a card from “winners” to “runners-up.” I love praising cards that contest for coolness in their spaces. In short: you don’t have to listen to us specifically because, well, we’re not professionals, but if you tweak the tweaks and polish on your polish, then—well, the goal is that you grow as designers and in your understanding of the game. And that you’ll have fun along the way.

For every card, I’m going to converse with the intent, talk about where improvements can be made and what might have gone wrong, and then go through wording nitpicks (another part of what makes cards hard, heh. You gotta do design AND cost AND flavor without committee). Cards with JUDGE PICK are personal favorites that for whatever reason either didn’t meet the criteria for winners or just tickled my fancy despite being some kind of not-there-in-certain-ways. Or maybe they just got pushed out of runners-up because of space. See? Hard decisions.

Let’s talk about some cards:

@aethernalstars — Anurid Matriarch

Intent: The Matriarch feels like a casual build-around-me keyword card with some connection to the Anurids of Dominaria. There are only two frogs with reach (and none with first strike) to date but this isn’t supposed to be a tribal card, is it. Not like that, anyway. Giving keywords those ups makes sense. Token generation is pretty solidly GW, giving them flying is WU, sure. First strike to double feels distinctly white. I imagine this card as a casual build-around-me or a token generator. Five mana for a 1/1 token ain’t bad.

Improvement: I have no idea what this card really wants to be. First strike doesn’t see anything outside of white, and reach doesn’t see much inside white. Or blue, for that matter. The flying makes sense for blue but this whole card doesn’t feel cohesive in terms of colors or identity. I did my Anurid research and I don’t see any precedent for this. Frog beasts are cool but… Well, this card answers the question of “why” with “just because.” I don’t fully understand the niche it’s trying to fill or the environment in which it wants to exist. If you’re gonna make a Frog build-around-me, lean into that. If you’re gonna make a keyword tribal card, focus on just one. If you want to make it color-balanced, look at what everything could do together for a flavorful feel.

Nitpicks: Flying comes before double strike.

Amarinthe — Rashmi, Enlivened Artificer

Intent: Temur has a pseudo-foothold in Kaladesh mechanically, so I’m not surprised that Rashmi’s here doing her thing. Giving your cards Jump-start is interesting, as UR has a sort of flashback mechanic, plus the lands from the graveyard work into green quite well. What I really like is the way that the Crucible effect interacts with jump-start. That’s pretty cool design chops. I can see this in a supplemental Commander sphere or even as a Standard mythic for a three-color archetype. It doesn’t seem exceptionally broken on either front. From a purely mechanical perspective, I think you made an awesome card.

Improvement: This card perhaps feels RUG, but it 100% doesn’t feel like Rashmi or a druid. Elves can be artificers on Kaladesh, and that’s not an issue, but you call her an artificer, you type her as a druid (which yes, was her original type when she was more druidic), and you give her a primary ability that’s got basically nothing to do with artifacts or druidic principles. The lands work great with the druid part, but the flavor could be sorted out. I would take out “jump-start” as a keyword and just work in the wording “you may cast from your graveyard” etc., make a new character, and flavor them appropriately. The flavor text should complement the mechanics; as it is, I’m not certain.

Nitpicks: “jump-start” should be lowercase, but it doesn’t really matter if you do end up taking it out.

@arashisann — Yurlok’s Conflux

Intent: With Yurlok being a new commander hotness, I can see the intent of this card as a Jundian standard/supplemental addendum. The lava flow makes mountains, then the second ability...represents something predatory? And the last is Jund destruction. The R>B>G makes sense there.

Improvement: I don’t know if this card is necessary salvageable as-is; you might be better off making two or three separate cards if you want to show this character. When making a saga, you have to tell a story in a limited form, and it’s hard, absolutely! You represented the lava flow in the first ability quite well, and I do like that a lot. The creature and artifact sacrifice isn’t indicative of anything that I can follow story-wise. Reading the wiki I understand the way that you might want to represent the Thrash dying or Esper being invaded. I don’t believe this is the way to do it. With the very last sentence not doing anything when you’re sacrificing anyway, I don’t believe the best card for you is a saga at all. How could you tell this in an instant or sorcery card, perhaps? The moment that Yurlok comes over the Esper border?

Nitpicks: “non-Mountain;” the land type should be capitalized in both parts, see Quicksilver Fountain. The ability should also be one word. As I mentioned, removing the counters doesn’t do anything mechanically because it’s sacrificed after resolution. Check the MSE Discord if you want to get your text fixed, BTW. I know how frustrating that can be.

@askkrenko — Etherium Restoration

Intent: You know, even without Ed being there, I’m getting a Bruna-ish feel. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just that UW expensive returning stuff kinda has those associations. The fact that the creature is being restored with etherium though is pretty awesome, and you know what, that alone (the return plus the re-artifacting) is a great way to convey what Esper does and wants to do.

Improvement: The aura and equipment stuff doesn’t grab me, honestly. What do auras have to do with Esper? And the only equipment that I could find that fit was Mask of Riddles. So I’m going to stop here because the obvious answer is that you’re exploring new story design space for what Esper might be. I respect that. With the information we have now, it’s middle-of-the-road. My vote would be to make this (3)(B/W)(U) and make an argument for UW reanimation to artifice overall, then completely drop the aura/equipment part. Plus, gotta say, I know the flavor text is a pop culture thing but you’re messin’ with my favorite plane! Show some respect! /j

Nitpicks: If you do keep that second part, “Aura” and “Equipment” should be capitalized.

@bread-into-toast — Krofor, Corpse Hauler

Intent: It’s a nightmare insect? I’m down. Even without that particular piece of art I can see how people might be afraid of a giant bug. This is pretty evidently a Commander-geared card although I can see how casual brewers might want to throw it down in a combo match and do some graveyard hate. GW graveyard exile and black ability scavaging is pretty cool, so I can see where your intent was with that. Good catch putting “Nightmare” first, too. I almost suggested mixing it around. I like how aggressive this card can be.

Improvement: Firstly, Corpse Hauler is literally another card which already had a self-evident mechanical ability to get creatures back to the hand. Even if it’s an homage, I would distinguish it; besides, it’s not so much “hauling” corpses as it is eating them. Presumably. “All abilities” is a bit of a slippery slope, too. Activated abilities is one thing, but all abilities whatsoever? I’m uncertain if that’s design space you want to tap into, but don’t pull the trigger. My main issue is that you have the activated ability cost “X and W, B or G.” I understand what you were trying to do but that that point you might as well just have it be “1X.” There wouldn’t be anything stopping you from making that mana already. In short, rectify the name to fit flavor, change the ability cost, and be wary of weird interactions with abilities.

Nitpicks: “Lifelink” and “Vigilance” should be lowercase ‘l’ and ‘v’ respectively. The X in the rules text of the activated ability should also be spelled out and not a mana symbol. You can change this in MSE by highlighting, then going to the star next to the bold/italic toggle and turning it off.

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion — Sevala, Exiled Naturalist

Intent: I read up on what happened with Selvala after the events of the first Conspiracy set, and I see how you set off to mimic that, but then I saw the note about the Timeshifting, and yeah, I guess that works.. The green landfall, the red flashback and the white Path come across well. I suppose this is more of an eternal-themed card, although I could be wrong.

Improvement: Yeah, technically there’s nothing stopping you from having a noncreature card as a partnerable card. I’m trying to be diplomatic about the implications, though. Okay. So Selvala’s white aspect was introduced in the first Conspiracy set as she was heavily connected to the citizens of Paliano and worked as a community diplomat against the establishment. She forged a stronger connection to nature and thus became more green in her overhaul of the city. Path to Exile is not in her wheelhouse. She does not exile; she parlays, communes with creatures, seeks out new futures. What exiling magic does she have? What judgement? It doesn’t exist in her character, nor does the redness. Frankly landfall doesn’t really fit her character as well. The point is that even if a character could have a partner that’s a concept (which is antithetical to the mechanic as a whole), the spell you have chosen contrasts with Selvala instead of complementing her. And what does she have to do with flashback anyway? To improve this card, completely restart the conceptual process.

Nitpicks: The character’s name is misspelled.

@deafeningsandwichpeach — Ilharg, the Craze-Boar

Intent: Ha, I get it. I’m going to go out on a huge limb here, because I mean as much as I like all of this I get the feeling that either the name or art came before the full concept. Nothing wrong with that, because ultimately the card is good. SO. Either this is designed for a Timeshifted set where something really awful happens to our poor Boar God, or, well, something really bad DID happen to him somehow. I’m not sure what the land return represents flavorfully but it’s fine mechanically. The creature return as well is BR and I’m down for that, strong as it is. This card evokes the colors in a way that makes it slightly different than Jund; maybe it’s the art but I’m getting Innistrad vibes from him, the madness returning, the pain going on inside his head. It’s neat. Again, massive stretch though, let’s be real.

Improvement: And with that in mind, I wouldn’t have made him Ilharg. Honestly, this should’ve been a new character, and I would have been a lot more generous. I don’t really get what Ilharg as a whole even in an alternate timeline has to do with lands returning considering that he’s a big ol’ nasty city destroyer. Mechanically, this card needs to cost like EIGHT mana. The card you return from your graveyard to the battlefield stays there, and with a big enough graveyard you don’t have to worry about getting things from your hand anymore. Turns 1-4 dump all your creatures, turn five get the best of them if not earlier? Pretty busted in any format. For eight mana I wouldn’t complain.

Nitpicks: “up to two land cards,” not “lands.” Question: why isn’t he a God?

@deg99 — Radiant Return (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Black reanimation, white attachment, red hastiness. All the colors are definitely there! There’s something Mardu-not-Mardu about this RWB card, and I think I like it. I could see it as a standard card, definitely, or as a commander staple for a really interesting commander. I’m honestly not sure exactly what kind of deck would really appreciate this card right now! Keskit/Akiri? The Auras part is a little more interesting. Ardenn/Vial...Smasher? The fact that it defies current archetypes but still makes sense is very cool to me. I also wonder what a standard expansion in which RWB auraquipment is an archetype would look like now.

Improvement: A little flavor text could make this work one degree better. It’s really on me that you went into the future with this card, isn’t it. There’s no major improvement to be made besides that. Consider contextualizing for future contests, perhaps? When necessary, anyway.

Nitpicks: “Return target...to the battlefield, then attach any number of Auras and/or Equipment you control to it...etc.” Don’t need the trigger.

@demimonde-semigoddess — Seaglide Whaler

Intent: A pirate’s life for me! So we got an aggressive tempo-y pirate person with a decent couple of sharpshooter abilities. Blue sirens are certainly reasonable, as are Grixis pirates. I like the notion that it has to attack to “survey” and then take whatever shots it makes. I don’t think Ixalan could have had this card but honestly the future is a place where anything could happen.

Improvement: The problem with these colors is that in practical terms, the second mode is strictly black and yet can be played in an Izzet deck. Hybrid is a weird mistress. As much as these abilities might neatly tie into the three colors, hybrid makes deck construction nearly impossible. You can have a pinger in UB or a Fatal Blow in UR, both of which are either severe bends or breaks. Making this a straight UBR 3/1 flier could have been okay, perhaps, or having on-color activations, but as it is now, hybrid makes things hard. Consider looking at a Venn diagram between UB and UR to consider more appropriate abilities?

Nitpicks: Kathari Bomber implies the second mode to be “...damage this turn and sacrifice Seaglide Whaler.”

@dimestoretajic — The Dark Tendril

Intent: Sultai skulk-lord could be a fun card to open and build around in limited, and a BUG defender-y deck could have some fun application. I like how you’ve made the new character and sort of done another take on treefolk.

Improvement: For this contest, I don’t feel a strong color balance in this card. Skulk was a weird black/blue centered mechanic, sure, and green assigns the toughness, but… This feels like it’s trying to make skulk look cool rather than address the issue that skulk was just plain not a good mechanic. I get where the color weight is supposed to be but the whole thing is shadowed by that underlying desire. If this card had just been “Creatures you control can’t be blocked by creatures with greater power” and the other stuff, on a name/type that was more resonant, then I think it could have been a stronger contender. I don’t understand the world in which “The Dark Tendril” lives. I don’t understand why it’s a treefolk. I would get rid of naming skulk, make the type more apparent, and give the character some character.

Nitpicks: Three-colored cards really should have a gold border, not a hybrid one. Also, promo frames tend not to have flavor text (with exceptions for cards with no rules text like Memnite).

@driftingthruthecosmos — Ulti, Sudden Conjurer

Intent: I like that triggered ability because it’s got some smooth flow over it. GU has its flash aspect, but black also likes destructive instants, and then the Disentomb-effect fits nicely into a payoff that feels black for sure. I also like how you’re using the three colors to push the card into a really neat 3/3 aggressive creature. Flash and deathtouch literally only show up together in these three colors but not together—and here you are changing that on a powerful legend!

Improvement: But the fact that she can only return creatures with flash is kind of a bummer. Sure there are plenty of cards that could work with her, and having some Ambush Viper casual tribal wouldn’t be too bad, but it’s still limiting. I would have implied that she works with flash, or let players work with flash, without being so specific about it, and I feel that the card would be improved with implied flash tribal over explicit in this case. Additionally, what on earth is that last ability doing? Each end step, you have to sacrifice a creature or lose one of your potential targets for her trigger? I have the feeling that you may have been too cautious to push power levels here. If you want to limit her, have it be “Whenever you cast your first spell during each opponent’s turn…” or something, and axe that last part.

Nitpicks: “unless you sacrifice a nontoken creature.” Full stop, you can never sacrifice creatures you don’t control so adding “you control” is redundant.

@dumbellsndragons — Gorvax, Lich of the Horde

Intent: It’s a Mardu zombie orc wizard. At this point, you’re already doing something right for the Timmies out there. The first ability has Tainted Remedy plus some crazy draw after that, and oh man, it’s begging to be punishing. “I’m gonna Heliod’s Intervention you. Deck yourself. Runeflare Trap. Molten Psyche.” But also, that second ability? You can Bolt during an opponent’s turn and turn it into a one-red-mana Ancient Craving. For mythic, to build around? I honestly think that that’s perfectly fine. And insanely powerful.

Improvement: There’s weird stuff going on, but the hard part is that I don’t know if there’s things to improve. Giving your spells lifelink has Jeskai precedent, but it’s not NOT black. Doing a little digging, I can see that there are indeed zombies and even liches on Tarkir, but only in Sultai… But there’s no reason that the Mardu wouldn’t have them, right? Hm, maybe “Victory or Death” gets muddled here. Wizard, though, that’s a sticking point. And frankly, the whole “Lich” thing. I don’t see the lichiness in the abilities or the wizardry in the Mardu. You know what would be dumb fun? Ditching the Mardu aspect and making this WUBR. Wouldn’t fit the contest but what a friggin’ commander.

Nitpicks: None!

@emmypupcake — Knight of Summer’s Vigor

Intent: I was surprised to see that there are actually quite a few green Knights. It makes sense, of course, considering both Eldraine and Bant and Selesnya. So yeah, an elf knight who makes more knights? This is a powerful card with some crazy abilities if it gets out of control at all, but the color restrictions and the lack of substantial evasion ensure that it’s not busted out of the gate. The name’s pretty good, too! Oh, Knight of New Alara...

Improvement: For this contest, I don’t feel color blending as much. Tokens with GW and knights with R(W) are fine, yeah, but aside from that, the colors of the tokens and the general feeling of the card isn’t enough to really excite me. I do want to see a set in which this card could exist, perhaps, with multicolored knights and elves and whatnot. I don’t have any real improvements for this card; I just don’t think it stands out against some of the weirdness. Keep it around and add some flavor text. Consider: what would you like for this set to be? In what world would these knights exist? Why is summer important?

Nitpicks: “Whenever,” not “when.” See Pollenbright Wings

@evscfa1 — Estrid, the Unmasker

Intent: The Commander sets with shard Planeswalkers did give us a lot to work with but not a lot of extra stuff, so it makes sense that people might pick up on them for the contest. White auras, exile, and taxing all make sense mechanically. I feel that this is more standard than supplemental, a little weirdness for the way that the specific tokens and all would want to work. I don’t mind that part, honestly. Bringing Estrid back would be fine by me, even as monocolored.

Improvement: Because, well, this is a mono-white card. The +1 creates white Auras (that don’t do anything, so that’s an issue), the -2 is close to Generous Gift, and the -8 is an enchantment-oriented Hum of the Radix, like a twist between Sphere of Safety and Aura of Silence. None of these abilities feel anything but white. The emblem is arguably UW, but not by much. With Auras that don’t do anything and a color identity that doesn’t mechanically contribute to the card, I feel that you can either keep her and buff some of the abilities or try to make her feel more in line with the contest, which you don’t really have to do at this point. I’m also worried about the name and the ability tie-ins. Estrid doesn’t “unmask” at all, does she? She’s a mask user, not a revealer of truth or any of the things “unmasking” would imply. Why would she make a False Mask? Is this some alternate storyline? If so, I don’t really understand what changed, or why.

Nitpicks: “*Its controller” in the -2, “*get an emblem” in the -8.

@fractured-infinity — Rhythm of Death (rare)

Intent: Red (/black) gains first strike, black (/green) has deathtouch, green (/red kind of) has lure. Everything’s coming together in a kind of keyword soup, so that’s all well and good! In limited someone who opens this will be very, very happy to make people cry. In casual Commander, it’s sure to help make negotiations.

Improvement: In terms of this contest, yeah, this isn’t really buttering my radishes. It’s there, it’s pretty standard, and it makes sense. There are two cards that have first strike and deathtouch and four more that can gain it naturally and all but one are in those colors. And that wouldn’t be a problem if this card was presented differently. I’m ignoring the art for now because it’s actually distracting here. What is the “rhythm?” Is something being given the rhythm? What’s repeating, cycled, constant? What about a rhythm gives the creature these abilities? Change the name, flavor it up, get some text in there, and use blank art.

Nitpicks: “Enchant creature (lowercase) >> Enchanted creature has first strike and deathtouch, and must be blocked if able.” Take that with a grain of salt, though. Protective Bubble might have it say “Enchanted creature must be blocked if able and has first strike and deathtouch.” Or you can cut the middleman and make it two lines: “Enchanted creature has first strike and deathtouch. // Enchanted creature must be blocked if able.”

@gollumni — Exotic Wings

Intent: It’s interesting that we have two back-to-back “must be blocked” cards (hm, no shorthand?) in a row, both Auras no less, but very different. I like your flavor use with the wings being a status symbol, bright and glittery, and therefore turning the creature into irresistible prey of sorts. Aura colors are good, and the solid green effect is in there as well. The mechanics fit a pretty standard-ly powerful draft uncommon that can be used for beating down when necessary.

Improvement: I’m 90% sure that right now GW doesn’t get flying by itself anymore, or at least very rarely. Pollenbright Wings and Shield of the Oversoul exist, so I’m on the fence. Maybe I’m biased with recent printings, but for two mana I’m not sure it’s what GW would need. That said, I’m sure there’s dissent and arguments to be made, and yes, I know its full color identity includes blue; this is pragmatic. I think this could have been solidly WUG with another buff, perhaps, but that just would have made it favorable for this contest and honestly it’s up to playtesting to see if those colors need a cheap flying aura. But the wings. The flavor. I… So these wings belong to birds, naturally? Who is summing this enchantment for mating? This is some kind of buff or boon that most any creature could have so in what world is some enchant-o-mancer giving “do me” wings to Mx. Passerby?? But, this may be just a quirk of the game, yeh?

Nitpicks: None!

@hiygamer — Etherium Replicator (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Major kudos for making my look up Prototype Portal and seeing that my gut was wrong and that you DID use the right wording! This is a super-Esper card, more than any of the imprinted cards and honestly a great use of the art. Thopter Foundry is a great card but this one isn’t a bad use and would kind of make sense. Now, I’m not going to put this in improvements, because I want to ask a question: could this card be just plain UW? Possibly, but also consider: this card could be just a straight-up artifact as well, and it feels better how it is now. Why? Because the black invokes a different feeling. It invokes consumption, recycling, progress, larceny, calculation. It’s a very blue side of black. And it also feels, well, Esper! Its an established use of theme!... Honestly it’s probably more that. But I like it anyway. I’d say my bias was showing but none of the winners necessarily invoked Alara straight-up so thpt.

Improvement: There are mostly just wording errors. To be honest, if you’re getting something big, could this card be three mana? That’s probably pushing it, but worth testing. Multicolor custom cube time.

Nitpicks: “enterS the battlefield” (tense), “artifact or creature” (instead of the other way around), and most importantly: “Create a token that’s a copy of A CARD exiled with Etherium Replicator” etc. Because you can copy the ETB trigger and/or use shenanigans to exile other cards.

@hypexion — Ferrari, Sharp Scrapper

Intent: Well if my eyes don’t deceive me, it’s another Esper card! And an artifact-y card? Hm, artifact-enchant-y card. It’s easy to see the designation between colors, with self-mill and the lifegain going into black but leaning towards all three colors, the second ability being straight Disenchant, and the last one being an interesting UB pseudo-reanimation on the cheap, which is super interesting and aggressive. I can see this card intended as either a standard staple or being used as a supplemental planeswalker face card. There’d be a heavy amount of artifacts and enchantments for sure, probably artifact creatures.

Improvement: Did I miss something? When did WUB start caring about enchantments as a multicolor wedge identity? Alela and Zur have their thing, sure, but are those the baseline now? I’m more head-scratching and 0% mad, honestly. As a flavorful card, though, I’m not sure what you’re conveying exactly. So they get rid of stuff and they’re happy when they find garbage, but sometimes they want to scrap things they don’t like, but then they can recreate some of your garbage? Let’s back up and say that this card isn’t a Scrapper and that they’re an artifact/enchantment person. In the most general sense, I don’t really feel a harmony of ideas. The card feels one-note, like there’s very little to do besides abuse the -2 ability and maybe the -1 to get rid of some big thing on the table. The +1 exists to serve the -2, and the -1 feels like it’s trying to be protective for protection’s sake. I don’t know why this character does the things they do through the card. As utility planeswalkers become more abundant, the things they do have to be more resonant; imagine a fully-built world and put your card in the middle. No card is a metaphorical island.

Nitpicks: I think (maybe) that the +1 could be: “Mill up to three cards, then you gain 3 life for each artifact and/or enchantment card milled this way.”

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Corpse Spell

Intent: I think you made this very apparent. As a counterspell, it does the job well, and then it lets you get an idea for free! The choice of casting a noncreature spell is particularly interesting, as it plays into this weird and not-really-that-common theme of transfiguration. Obviously polymorphing appears in blue and red but it feels black because of the flavor you’ve chosen to convey. That’s a great job.

Improvement: The big mechanical thing is that I would 100% make this let you case an instant, sorcery or creature instead of just a “noncreature spell.” These colors don’t really feel like they could transmute a creature into something that’s not an idea or, well, a corpse, and it really seems as though that’s the idea you’re going for. The big flavor thing, though, is the name. I really and truly don’t know what you’re trying to convey. Now, I’m aware that English isn’t your first language, and that’s a barrier that I’m not sure how to cross for this kind of criticism. “Corpse Spell” seems like a playtest name. As a concept, this card is great. As a submission, I’m still having to extrapolate a lot; most importantly, it doesn’t tell me how the caster is using the magic to turn a creature into something else. Work on telling that story, and when possible, use native speakers to help get ideas across.

Nitpicks: I think the wording would be: “Counter target creature spell. You may cast target noncreature card with converted mana cost less than or equal to that spell’s converted mana cost from your graveyard without paying its mana cost, and if that card would be put into your graveyard this turn, exile it instead.” Because if you exile it as it resolves and it’s, like, an artifact or planeswalker, what’s the point? Hence my note about instants/sorceries and maybe other creatures.

@ignorantturtlegaming — Draxys, Scourge Eternal

Intent: This card absolutely fits the elemental shell. It feels to me like a standard or CMR-style bomb mythic that hits the table and kinda goes nuts. I mean, it wouldn’t be your commander probably, but in Conspiracy-style? Man. Multiplayer draft, that’s what I mean. It gets cards, it gets counters, it deals damage, then Blitz Hellion-s away. It does indeed feel like a blend of all the crazy things that come in these colors, and you did that much very well. It’s not broken, but it’s powerful, and it’s repeatedly monstrous (not the mechanic, lol) with the fear that it’ll return (until someone Doom Blades it, but that’s the game for ya). Great feeling of a massive beautiful monster.

Improvement: Really, the one thing I would do to improve it would be to consolidate the second and third triggers into “When Draxys enters the battlefield, draw four cards, put four +1/+1 counters on it, then it deals 4 damage divided as you choose among any number of creatures and/or planeswalkers.” No, wait—why not make it an 8/8 and just have it draw cards and deal damage? Because of its massive cost, you’re not gonna play it and then activate Wheel of Fortune in the same turn unless you’re playing some crazy massive game, and then it just shuffles away anyway! So, my suggestion would be to make this one massive bomb when it hits and really get the Timmy out of it.

Nitpicks: None!

@jsands84 — Quarrel, Tariff Enforcer

Intent: The colors are obvious enough, right? A sphinx (blue) based on taxing and punishing (white) to make your opponents lose life (black). Couldn’t be simpler. The color weight is reminiscent of standard cards like Ultimatum cycles but heck, we’ve seen weirder commander cards in the past. I like the fact that even though the color weight is really heavy, the keywords support that kind of aggression without being too overbearing like we’ve seen in other chase rares and mythics.

Improvement: That said, I don’t think it needs that weight at all. 3WUB would have done the exact same and it wouldn’t have looked awkward. Why would it need that weight in the first place? Well, perhaps if it entered the battlefield with an amazing immediate effect. And this card, well, it doesn’t. You have a great eye for flavor and the fact that a legendary (read:uniquely adept) sphinx is enforcing the tax laws of the universe? 10/10. But it doesn’t need that kind of punishment, especially considering, like, the effect really doesn’t come up outside of vintage. So yeah, reduce the weight.

Nitpicks: In the flavor text, “their” referring to the universe is kind of an odd pronoun. With most cases IIRC the concept is objectified instead of personalized, see Aether Adept. (Also there aren’t many cards with ‘universe’ in the flavor text, surprisingly.)

@justincase-1012 — Startling Wisp

Intent: Illusions are almost entirely blue (and one of only two illusions with zero blue in its box is Esper-centric, funnily enough) so that’s all interesting, but this is definitely breaking from the artifact theme and going for color flavor. The fact that it is the one doing the startling is somewhat black, but the discard definitely is. Because of the narrowness of this ability, I feel that it’s intended to be a draft/standard oriented card as opposed to eternal breadth. A 1/1 flying indestructible spirit in these colors is honestly pretty fair and ghostly!

Improvement: This card is too narrow to be common but definitely too specific to be rare, and that narrowness really is...weird. It doesn’t just require noncombat damage, but it requires noncombat damage from creatures. Why? “The next time a source would deal noncombat damage to you or another creature you control this turn” would be perfectly reasonable. Also, why the next phase? Just have it say “Then, if ~ is on the battlefield, return it to its owner’s hand.” The timing doesn’t feel necessary. And honestly, I don’t find this card “startling” much. It’s alluring, certainly, but not startling. Consider renaming and tightening the focus. Too narrow and things just get ugly.

Nitpicks: So you do need “this turn” as I said above, and then looking at other printed oracle text: “that damage is dealt to ~ instead” etc. etc.

@kytheon4-4 — Surrak of New Atarka

Intent: Surrak was a three-color monster the last time we saw him, and he’s back in action now and reclaiming his colors. This is definitely meant to be a commander of sorts, hyper-aggressive with some awesome combat to boot. The first ability’s Gleam of Battle is really aggressively costed here but it makes sense in a timeline when he’s reclaimed some kind of new unity. And of course, the callbacks to both Tarkir timelines is there and well and good. Color-wise, your choice to then go ahead and make a future new timeline is really interesting and I can feel that sort of “new ‘Naya’” blood pumping in Surrak’s veins.

Improvement: The first damage trigger is great, if pretty pushed for Naya colors. The second clause is… Well, call it a “winmore” if you want, but it really is a winmore. Big creatures are big and that’s okay, but if they’re that big and dealing damage, then an indestructible counter is kind of adding insult to injury. And frankly, why not combine these all into one trigger, so that the Gleam ability is just a little less pushed? Whenever the creature deals damage, THEN it gets a counter, and IF it’s four or greater THEN you draw a card, and THEN if it’s eight or greater, something weird happens.

Nitpicks: None!

@mardu-lesbian — Contentious Pair

Intent: A white Soldier, a red Goblin, and a deathtouch counter, and yep, the gang’s all here. Token-making in red and white is pretty standard, a little less for BR and more heavily in the white part of WB, but all the same there’s nothing wrong with that appearing in the three-color combo. It’s interesting you went for a post-Conflux kind of deal with Alara...wedges? Really unique. This is most definitely designed to be a common card for a standard expansion, meant to be drafted and whatnot. It implies a lot about the potential future!

Improvement: I’m unsure how you came up with these colors and creature types. Bant, the shard of soldiers, and Jund, of Goblins, do have one shared color: green. But then this card would have been what, white-green-red? And that’s problematic in another way, and I get that. As it stands, though, this feels heavily weighted towards BR and less towards white, and honestly, this feels definitely uncommon. You get two bodies at instant speed, one of which will most likely destroy an attacking creature. Instant deathtouch isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it’s been in standard for a bit. The bodies and potential permanent deathtouch when you have an empty board is what raises the complexity. My flavor question: why are they contentious? Makes me feel like we’re seeing the start of the story more than a split-second moment; this card might feel better as an uncommon sorcery.

(Also, I’m just imagining them coming over a mountain at instant-speed during combat, and the soldier and the goblin are just talking about their differences and the goblin is showing off their poison dagger when a beast just WHAMS into them and they both instantly die as the soldier looks on in shock and horror. I do love it when cards tell weird stories.)

Nitpicks: None, I don’t think.

@misterstingyjack — Galtiber, Segovian Titan

Intent: Ah, the memes. Well, still, 1/1 tribal is an interesting take on the whole build-around-me dealio. I can honestly say I’m unsure where this card would fit, but that’s not a bad thing. It feels build-around me, but could it work in a limited environment? You’d need a higher as-fan of 1/1s or tokens, and that’s not a bad thing. Honestly, this card doesn’t feel too bad. He’s a protector and he makes them all work together. It’s a neat little design that captures the diligence, unity and edification of these citizens.

Improvement: I really can’t think of a place where this card would see play, though, and the issue is? There’s no real way to improve that past putting this in a pretty bonkers set where it can either go nuts or be mediocre. There are a lot of cool things you can do with this card, but where does he fit? Segovia is a weird plane and designing for it is hard. I love this card and would love to build with it but the fact is that it’s just going to be weird. I’ll put this in nitpicks, but there’s wording issues. Additionally, talking about the character by name in the flavor text is a little off-putting to me. I’m sure it’s happened before but the story feels like a moment being described more than a character.

Nitpicks: “Creatures you control with base power and toughness 1/1” is the correct way to word these things, Iiii think.

@morbidlyqueerious — Ricantha, Ribbon-Dancer (mythic) (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: As much as this technically could be someone’s general, I like this card as a standard-legal mythic, like Kethis or Yarok. It’s surprisingly easy to understand while being quite powerful in its own way. I wouldn’t call it a Voltron card so much as I would call it a control bomb, certainly for limited. The white-blue deals with the tapping, more the blue with the freezing, and the alluring aspect and keywords fill in the green. It brings a lot of the multicolored feel even with a monocolor activated ability.

Improvement: You know, the flavor almost outshines the color aspect. Looking back I do see the intent, but I’m also mostly seeing an interesting take on the dancing and the enchanting aspect. They’re vigilant, they ‘tie down’ the creatures, and they make other creatures follow them. Honestly, this is a case of “right card wrong contest,” where you made a great card to convey the specific act of ribbon-dancing and a dance leader so much that it overtakes the intent of color. The jokingly biting way of saying this is that you didn’t pander to me as a judge enough (/s). I don’t know about reach; first strike, maybe, to show their agility?

Nitpicks: The combat trigger should be one sentence, see the oracle on Kamigawa snakes.

@mtg-ds — Majak, Revival Instigator (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Now I wouldn’t call this a gimmick card but I would say that there’s a lot going on here, again, with the flavor. Sacrificing each other creature actually feels white in a Cataclysmic way but with a black edge of making all the zombies. Hasty zombies fills in the red and plays into the instigative aspect, and man, getting everyone out onto the dance floor? I’ll admit that this card is kind of silly with the art, but there’s something unusually cathartic about it. He enters, turns them all into zombies, makes them dance, then whenever someone else dies they join the dance, and when he leaves the music stops. Like, it’s kind of brilliant, how the zombies can’t dance without him. As a flavorful card for a supplemental set I think that you did a fantastic job.

Improvement: My first small note is that the art is again really distracting, and like, I understand that that might’ve been the purpose but “zombie dance party” out of context feels a little unusual, and the name “Revival Instigator” is a touch on the nose. But those are small concerns next to the fact that this card really could have been black/red and wouldn’t have made that much of a difference. Could’ve even kept the Cleric typing. Again, I need to also say that this card is downright fantastic mechanically, but just not quite white there for the purposes of this contest. Keep this card as-is, maybe make him a Human IMO. I don’t have any significant improvements.

Nitpicks: None!

@naban-dean-of-irritation — Tamakoma, Spectral Shiver (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Clever clogs, I looked up that name and it is indeed fitting! Very clever you are, just as clever as giving the UB flash ninja ETB feeling that strikes fear into the heart of those who don’t know she’s coming. White’s got the spirit flash and indestructible, black’s got deathtouch, flash, AND indestructible, and blue’s got the ninja feeling. Something tells me this would totally be a supplemental card unless Kamigawa goes three-colors, but to be honest I get a MH1 vibe more, and that’s okay too. Major kudos for making me double-check cards like Ambuscade Shaman for this weird wording.

Improvement: I can see how this card would be white flavorfully; I think its just precedent working against you. Because of the way that black has been encroaching upon indestructible in the past couple years, this card could just be blue-black and fit into the ninja feeling just as well. I personally like the white spirit aspect. It’s just not as present here as I would have liked for this contest. Great card, no mechanical improvements.

Nitpicks: I don’t know if “the hollows of the night” are, like, a thing? I don’t know, just as a writer it reads weird to me. One day I’ll be accredited and that won’t seem like such a jackass comment too.

@nine-effing-hells — Llanlaia Rywh, the Inmost Eye

Intent: I like your take on elves here, using the focus and mood to turn the ordinarily green elves into some warrior monastery funky stuff. I’m getting the sense of a cave world, or some kind of twisted plane where expectations are thwarted and the different races of Magic have to find their own kind of way around. Definitely a face card for the tribe in whatever set it’s based in.

Improvement: There’s no blue and black here, or at least I’m not feeling it mechanically, and for this contest that’s the most important thing. Giving a Runed Halo effect on a pump is really darn powerful, and to have this dismiss any damage or removal at instant speed is definitely powerful and definitely white. The concept of looking within for meditation is a bit blue, sure, but I don’t see that expressed on this card as much. I do have some major presentation issues. The name is almost completely unpronounceable, so consider shortening it and cleaning it significantly. The flavor text is also in need of shortening and edits. “Look within to look around.” With a hint that the elves are blind, boom, you’re golden. So: name change, flavor paring, and consider that this card feels overall white. That said, for flavor and balance reasons for this card, keeping those colors is fine. Also consider that this is a really damn powerful beater.

Nitpicks: None that I can tell.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Everlasting Forefather

Intent: Here’s the thing: I’ll get to stuff in the ‘improvements’ section but mechanically, this card is really interesting for a number of flavorful reasons. Three-mana 4/3 with mentor is perfectly powerful in these colors, that’s great, flavorfully fine as a forefather. Creating two spirits upon death, awesome, those are the embodiments of his students and ideals, and most importantly, play into the embalm, where his zombie can teach the spirits after death and makes for great flying beaters, AND that Zombie token will make more spirits in remembrance. The use of flavorful mechanics gives it an interesting edge even if all these individual mechanics could be in mono-white.

Improvement: One, I would personally make this a warrior, but that’s super minor. Two… I can’t think of any reason outside a custom set where you’d have three non-evergreen mechanics from three different sets and two different planes on the same card. It feels like a custom card, not in the sense that it’s at all thoughtless or amateurish, because it’s not, but because there’s no way of making these pieces come together in a meaningful way; it feels like you’re removing the restrictions on what can go together for the sake of it. MH1 did have some mechanical mashups and we’ve explored that before. This feels like a bit too much for what we’re looking for. Honestly, for a custom multicolor cube or w/e, keep this card. But you might also want to consider MSE or having someone render for you, because with the VERY necessary rules text, this one takes up a lot of text; no room for flavor, and no need, ‘cause you do it all naturally anyway.

Nitpicks: Mm, none, I don’t think!

@reaperfromtheabyss — Glorified Minddrinker (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: This is definitely asking to be in a standard/draftable set as a tribal beater. You give it evasion, you use other vampires/warlocks to mess stuff up, you get in, and you drink. BW vampire lifegain meets the milling, and there you have it. What I really like is the fact that it’s “any card,” like Bloodchief Ascension, but that feels blue, because they’re drinking from the mind and not just the body, and I dunno, I REALLY like that kind of neat flavor niche. I also love how this makes a really roundabout already-exploited infinite combo with Sanguine Bond and Mindcrank, both of which are halves of other better combos.

Improvement: Mechanically, there’s nothing to improve here, except you might want to consider some kind of evasion. I think there’s just the nitpick of having “Glorified” in there without any understanding of what makes this creature glorified or why. A snippet of flavor could have helped with that, and with only two abilities. I don’t know, this one just didn’t pop to me for some reason. It’s a perfectly fine submission, and it just needs a little more pop.

Nitpicks: None! Nice and clear.

@shootingstarhunter — Storm Key

Intent: I find it interesting that the mana made from sacrificing is red but the abilities have a central Riku-like fascination. This feels like a supplemental card for sure, although I’m sure there are standard shenanigans. It would require a set in which RUG/Temur has an artifact theme and in which giving things storm is on the table. I have the feeling that in a genuinely competitive Maelstrom Wanderer deck that this card could turn a possible win into a guaranteed win. It’s there to help big things be bigger, but without a win-more feel, and I like that.

Improvement: In terms of this contest, it lacks elegance in its cohesion. The flavors don’t necessarily blend as well as they could. There’s a lot of rules text that emphasizes the separation rather than blending it together. My suggestions: Make it just cost RUG, no generic, reword the first ability to be: “When ~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, add R for each spell you’ve cast this turn,” and the second ability to “5, T, Sacrifice ~: When you cast your next instant, sorcery or creature spell this turn, copy it for each spell you’ve cast before it this turn.” And then add reminder text about targets and permanents. A tiny bit more flexible and less text, and you can add in some flavor. Personally I don’t really get the “Key” aspect. It feels more like a big machine of sorts.

Nitpicks: Remember to capitalize “Sacrifice” in the ability costs. Second reminder text should be “You don’t choose new targets for the copies.” I think, there’s not much precedent. Check the MSE Discord for tech help in getting your name/type text straightened out if you’d like.

@snugz — Erratic Polymorph (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: This does feel very wild, more of the Temur frontier or even the Ketria triome. Either one of those sets getting a return could have this, or a supplemental draft set on that world, or a commander product aimed at those timelines. This card’s pretty flexible in that sense! The red lack of control over twisty magic is definitely evident, with the green bear and the blue otters as representative of those sides of the wild. I like how you took blue’s natural sense and made it river/forest oriented. Big boys and little boys do different kinds of cool damage. I can dig it! (Although I’m more inclined to bears than otters myself…)

Improvement: I wouldn’t call this “elegant” as a primary adjective for its color balance, even though it’s very neat still overall. The obviousness of green being bears and blue being otters doesn’t take away from the fact that both of them make sense. The long and short is that I don’t have card improvements, and this card’s just for a different contest.

Nitpicks: None-zo

@starch255 — Dopplicant

Intent: Very clever, I see. You used white’s enchantment base for the card type even though it’s a strictly red and blue ability. Copying any spells is on the table now with Lithoform Engine so that makes sense. This could be in just about any set with these colors, and you know what, that’s perfectly fine. Jeskai, Raugrin (ugh), or otherwise, there’s cool stuff happening.

Improvement: With a vague name and flavor, it’s easy to have this card be a thumbs-up mechanically, but what...exactly is it? It’s name makes me think of the creature Duplicant, which is fine, makes sense, although it’s not a creature here like any of the other “-cant” cards. I just can’t place it, which is obviously a presentation thing over a mechanical issue. For the Fair, presentation is somewhat important, and also contextualizes your cards. It might just be a “me” thing to keep in mind for when I’m judging, so don’t take it personally at all. I think the idea is sound and all we need is polish.

Nitpicks: None~

@stormtide-leviathan — Jeskai Confluence

Intent: Like the confluences of C15, this is a charm-like modal spell with three pretty standard modes for the colors: blue draw, red damage, white erase. I can see this being part of either a standard return to that other timeline or as part of a “clan clash” supplemental set for sure.

Improvement: In the main post, there were examples like Shattergang Brothers that were posted as technically fine but not elegant. Totally separating your colors and abilities was part of that, breaking the cohesion. Unfortunately, charm effects were most definitely part of that area. I know that Magic design space isn’t eternally open, and I hate to say this, but because this card uses 2/3 abilities already found on the printed confluences and only minorly changes the damage, this feels somewhat derivative. I would go back to the drawing board and look at overlap rather than individualization, what the colors could have done together to make a card that creates something unique.

Nitpicks: There should be a period after “once” instead of an emdash.

@thedirtside — Twisted Design

Intent: I think that with Tezzeret being who he is and with the cool trend of colored artifacts, this card could absolutely find play in a variety of places. It feels almost like a story card, someone’s terrible (well, twisted) creation. That much is absolutely apparent. The counter/exile is definitely blue and black-ish but I like how the theft kind of ends up being red as well and the artifact typing helps with that. Flavor text is pretty okay too. Short, simple.

Improvement: That...second ability. Are you choose a card as part of a cost? I’m no rules guru but I’m almost certain that you can’t do that. And it doesn’t specify the speed, so you can basically pay the (very fair) cost to exile the spell, but then very unfairly get it back anytime you want. Why random, too? What if that spell has other random restrictions or no legal targets? There’s a lot to unpack from that with no printed precedent because, to put it bluntly, it doesn’t work within the rules. I really like the idea of having a card where you can somehow steal, twist, or morph their spells into new nightmares or futures. Work with that idea to make something URBy that, well, works rules-wise.

Nitpicks: It took me a bit to find your source photo with your source link (X), and I don’t even think that blog’s using proper permission. Here’s the gist: if you can’t find the original photographer, either go stock or don’t use art, OR find a source that’s more easily traceable. Pretend that you’re someone who has to find the source working backwards.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path — Ziziphus, the Lotus Eater

Intent: I could never be like him, I could never talk like that. Also, thank you for making this explicitly commander-based, heh. Food tokens are interesting, and I can see the token art already as well as the kind of person you might imagine Ziziphus to be. Oddly enough, they feel Therosian, considering the “lotus eaters” in the Odyssey, and that’s not a bad thing I suppose. Food’s sort of in the green area, with blue-white profiteering, and the general combat lull sort of encapsulating the whole GWU-ish control feeling. Turbo-fog ahoy.

Improvement: Competitive commander gets shut down pretty easily and casual commander becomes almost instantly unfun. It’s an instant-speed everyone-gets-it nigh-uncounterable Pacifism array that’s flavorfully understandable but puts a target on you as the one person to kill if anyone wants this game to ever end. I understand the top-down design but it’s impractical and I don’t see a game where this being your commander would make the gameplay better. So like Gwafa Hazid, consider your design: what would entice people to take the food? What’s the payoff? How often do you want this to happen to improve gameplay without causing staleness? Is food where you want to go, using lifegain to then further prolong the game?... Oh. Oh, someone can also just lorus-ify Ziziphus itself and then nothing happens in this version. That’s something to consider.

Nitpicks: The name’s really similar to “Sisyphus” in pronunciation. I was distracted.

@whuh-oh — Tainted Lightninghorn

Intent: Some day, I think we’re gonna get a five-color Lightning Blankemental kind of card, and I can’t wait for it. So yeah, it’s an aggressive predatory insect elemental with nasty sauce, and I feel this in a supplemental set for sure.

Improvement: So as an uncommon, it’s already pretty pushed, too much so. Ball Lightning set a precedent, and it’s a rare for a reason, honestly. That much power even for four mana with the abilities you’ve given it is a but much. For this card, most importantly, I need to be as clear as I can: The interaction between deathtouch and trample is an unintuitive quirk of the game. They do not belong on the same card with zero restrictions, especially not on an uncommon. Sometimes it’s okay to just make a cool card because it’s cool. I like my weird cards, I like my weird interactions. Forcing them feels like choosing indulgence over good design. I’m not feeling the uniqueness of the colors, I’m not feeling the flavor (why does lightning leave decay?), and I’m not feeling the gameplay. Where do we go from here? I think this general concept is fine for a personal set or a supplemental concept. Contextualize it for that area, look at environmental answers, and then see if you want to play with what the colors do.

Nitpicks: I’m 90% sure it’d go “Deathtouch, haste, menace, trample.” Also, I’m sure someone pointed out the whole flying-without-flying thing for the art, that’s very mildly distracting.

@wolkemesser — Murmurs of the Bosk

Intent: Yeah, this is very much a Lorwyn-inspired card, and I’m happy for that. Both the treefolk flavor and the permanent return are green, returning to the battlefield is white and black, and the white enchantment plus toughness matters (also in green) gives this card a magnificent flow of feeling, the trees returning. I can see this in any set, but especially a standard return to Lorwyn, and yet it could have a home in several cool recursion decks! It’s a nice little addition for both lovers of slow return and for treefolk fans.

Improvement: This card was going to be a runner-up or even a judge pick, but the severity of nitpicks grew until I realized that there were just too many problems to give it full commendation. I’ll put the revised wording in the ‘nitpicks’ bar and get to the big ones: the name, and the flavor text. The name is obviously an homage to Murmuring Bosk, right? That’s understandable, but the name is literally so close that I can’t think of anything else. The difference between being honoring and being derivative is enigmatic at times. This particular case is more evident. And the flavor text is almost completely ripped off from Doran’s card itself. Literally, it keeps the order and adds four words that don’t add sense or depth to the character. For future submissions, keep that in mind. As a mechanical suggestion, you could just have it be the greatest toughness without targeting, and it does need to target the card in the graveyard.

Nitpicks: “At the beginning of your upkeep, you may return target permanent card with converted mana cost X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the greatest toughness among creatures you control.”

Join us tomorrow, for a new contest, and a brush...with DEATH.

- @abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #commentary #three cheese blend #inventor's fair #long post

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