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a-queer-seminarian · 3 years

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So sorry if this is breaking news to anyone, but: the Bible is ableist. Its pages hold some really shitty stuff about disabled persons.

...AND it’s also affirming of the goodness and wholeness of disabled persons, just as we are!

it turns out that among the many authors of the many texts collected into the Bible, there were differing views around what we now call disability!

so whenever disability comes up in a given passage, i can’t keep my brain from immediately trying to sort it: is it a Good Text for disabled persons, or a Bad Text?

i try to resist that easy binary, because the answer is usually somewhere in between. that certainly seems to be the case for this week’s lectionary reading from Mark 9.

there’s so much wild stuff in Jesus’s little monologue in this lectionary passage, but let’s start with verses 43-47 (my rough translation incoming):

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off; it is better for you to enter into The Life impaired than, while having two hands, to go away into the gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.

And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off! It is better for you to enter into The Life limping than, while having two feet, be cast into the gehenna.

And if your eye should cause you to stumble, cast it out; it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God one-eyed than, while having two eyes, be cast into the gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. For everyone will be salted with fire.

oh lord, not the hell talk!! anything but hell talk!! this whole passage bristles with a million ways to misuse it. (homophobia cw: anyone else ever get told “if your sexuality causes you to sin, cut it off — this passage is proof gay people should be celibate!” just me?)

now, my focus is on what Jesus says here about disability, but as we talk about that, better ways of reading the text will come up. for instance, that last verse about how everyone will be salted with fire? to me, that suggests Jesus’ vision of this “gehenna” place does NOT = the standard Christian idea of hell. first off, it’s a place not of punishment, but purification — which is a word heavy with baggage these days...what if I say “reformation” instead? And if that’s the case, i imagine one’s stay there isn’t eternal — why bother reform people who are gonna be shut off in a fire-filled jail forever?

once those fires “purify” you, i imagine your stay is through and off you go into “The Life,” because you’ll finally be ready for it. so that’s one option for getting ready for The Life / The Kingdom of God — or, Jesus says, you can opt instead to get rid of the things that “cause you to stumble” in advance by......cutting off a limb or gouging out an eye??

now. i could be wrong but. if we start by taking this text as literally as possible, with physical stumbling and a physical limb-removal taking place......wouldn’t it be easier to avoid tripping if you’ve got two eyes to see obstacles with, two feet to step over potholes with?? even today when prosthetics are sometimes an option, there’s an adjustment period where you have to relearn walking.

so it seems that Jesus is making one of his trademark statements meant to subvert expectations -- the last will be first, the foolish are proven wise, and those with two feet are more likely to stumble. chances are, he’s not speaking literally. it’s not your literal foot or hand you should be chopping off -- it’s a metaphor for something else.

but before we consider what exactly it’s a metaphor for...where does this ironic little twist leave actually disabled persons? is it shitty of Jesus to be using disability in this way? is this like his “blind leading the blind” & “spiritually blind” comments elsewhere in the Gospels, where he stamps a disability with a moral judgement?

yeah, i do think it’s kinda crappy to use real disabilities for an object lesson, for hyperbolic effect, for shock value. “better to be impaired” (even tho, the subtext seems to be, It Sucks To Be Impaired) “than end up in Gehenna. Trade one terrible thing for a still bad but not as bad thing!” My impulse is thus to throw this passage right into the Bad Text box —except!

Except, i feel like this text holds some positive implications about how Jesus viewed disability, too.

First off, there’s the implication that one can enter into “The Life” — abundant life, “the world to come,” God’s Kingdom — while disabled. (i wish that were just a given, but it’s not; it’s actually exciting to hear confirmed!)

In the Hebrew Bible (the “Old Testament,” the scriptures we share with our Jewish neighbors, the texts that Jesus would have read and known), the most common assumption about disability is unfortunately that disability = imperfection, and imperfection is something that should be kept out of contact with God.

Now, there are authors & stories within the Hebrew Bible that offer a counter-narrative to that assumption! Two quick examples: Exodus 4 establishes Moses as having a speech impediment, yet he has many close encounters with the Divine. Meanwhile, in Isaiah 56:1-8, God not only welcomes in eunuchs — whom Deuteronomy 23:1 forbade from entering God’s Assembly — but even gives them a place of honor there!

So Jesus’s perspective is not brand new; he simply continues the counter-narrative that other Jewish rabbis and prophets established before him. Still, it is significant that he takes the status-quo-subverting perspective that actually, disability and wholeness are not at odds!

While Jesus’s primary aim with this little passage is not about disability, his weird self-disabling metaphor does imply an attitude of welcome for disabled persons, in that he seems to take it for granted that disabled persons are not barred from The Life of wholeness and abundance he’s talking about.

It’s obvious to him that they don’t even need to be made not-disabled to get there! (Plus, there is no suggestion that once there, one regrows one’s lopped-off limbs or eye / becomes abled again.) This isn’t the only time Jesus expresses this idea of disabilities present in God’s Kingdom, either — my fave is the parable of the banquet in Luke 14 (i have a whooole video about that passage, if you’re interested).

Moreover, Jesus’s closing remarks about salt — which at first glance seem to be something of a non sequitur — can be linked to the Gehenna fire stuff when it comes to the theme of im/purity. Let’s look at that last verse of the lectionary reading, which follows right after Jesus’s claim that “everyone will be salted with fire”:

“Salt is good; but if salt becomes unsalty, with what will you season it? Hold salt in yourselves, and keep peace with one another.”

Another weird little riddle from our favorite riddle-master. unsalty salt? instructions to stay salty?

One way to read this is to focus on the purifying and preserving uses of salt — the way it can keep food from going bad, which was particularly important in a time before refrigerators. in the previous verses, Jesus told his disciples what to cut off — anything that impedes them on the way into abundant Life. Now, he tells them what to hold on to — the stuff that, like salt, clean out harmful things and preserve helpful things, thus enabling abundant Life.

So yeah. In naming something culturally considered an imperfection — disability — as something that can easily enter The Life, no problem, Jesus is making an argument for what is truly impure, what truly impedes wholeness. And it’s not disability! ...So what is it? What are these stumbling blocks that Jesus likens to feet, hands, and eyes?

To find out, we have to rewind to the start of the lectionary reading, a comment from the disciple John that actually kicks off Jesus’s whole spiel:

John informed him, “Teacher, we saw someone throwing out demons in your name, and we stopped him, because he wasn’t following our way.”

But Jesus said, “Do not ever prevent him! For there is no one who will do a powerful work in my name, and will be quickly able to speak evil of me. For whoever is not against us, is for us. Whoever might give you a cup of water to drink because you are in Christ’s name, amen I say to you, that one will not utterly lose his reward.”

The disciples have a certain way of seeing the world, and their actions against someone who is not one of them, but still using Jesus’s name to cast out demons, show us what that way is. They see the world in terms of us vs. them, in vs. out, one right way and many wrong ways. It’s this perspective that impedes them from supporting other people’s kin(g)dom-building work when it differs from their own.

But Jesus tells them they need to stop thinking this way, and start recognizing that there isn’t just one road to the Kin(g)dom, but many — and to quote Jesus’s words from other parts of scripture, you’ll know that someone’s work is good when it produces good fruit. This dude might be doing things differently from how they do it, but the fruits of his efforts are good — the casting out of demons, which frees people up for new life. So don’t stop him — support him! Be glad for his work!

To sum up the entire passage now that I’ve laid it all out and shown how the seemingly-disjointed parts of Jesus’s speech connect, I see his argument as something like this: “That dude you tried to stop is not against us; we can see that by the consequences of his actions, which are positive! His goals are the same as ours, so don’t hinder him just because his path is different from yours! Now, here’s an example of people/behaviors that ARE against us: people who cause little ones to stumble. And you know what you should do with such stumble-makers (or else the stumble-causing behaviors/attitudes)? Cut them off. Let go of anyone or anything that keeps you from abundant life, from the liberation God intends for all. Meanwhile, hold on to the things which purify you like salt — the things that liberate you to enter wholeness. Do it now of your own accord, or accept that it’ll happen later, and it won’t be very fun.”

To reiterate what all of that has to do with disability theology, I’ll share what my friend Laura said when I brought all these ideas to them. (Laura is the host of the Autistic Liberation Theology podcast, which i highly recommend for anyone who wants to hear more Bible stories told through a disability lens!)

Laura noted how common perspectives around dis/ability lead people wrong today, impeding our liberation. Our society teaches us that in order to function as whole persons, we need to be able-bodied (and neurotypical), and that the kinds of accommodations that disabled persons require limit their quality of life. When those ableist assumptions are the lens through which we view the world, that can “cause us to stumble” in the metaphorical sense — can impede us from loving ourselves and one another fully, and from fully participating in the diverse Kin(g)dom of God.

They offered two examples:

When a person with a mobility impairment that could be improved with a wheelchair avoids using that wheelchair because of internalized ableism, preferring the increased suffering that walking more than their body can healthily do over being “wheelchair bound,” that internalized ableism is a stumbling block keeping them from abundant life. Learning to let go of those beliefs, to use a wheelchair when they need to, will — contrary to that “wheelchair bound” language — bring liberation.

Their next example imagined a parent who puts their autistic child through ABA therapy in order to get them to talk, make eye contact, and otherwise behave like a non-autistic person, due to the belief that autistic persons are missing elements of a full personhood, or that they can only live a happy life if they learn how to mask their autistic traits. However, in reality, ABA therapy brings the child pain and trauma — it impedes rather than enables their quality of life. Letting go of that need for your child to communicate through spoken language and otherwise behave like an allistic will make room for celebration of who they really are!

As Jesus’s comments in this passage imply, a disabled person can enter into “The Life” of wholeness and kinship that is the Kin(g)dom of God just as they are. To try to sever their disability from them would be the hindrance to that liberation. To deny that there are many ways to participate in the Body of Christ impedes the incoming Kin(g)dom.

So let’s take this message to heart. Let’s consider what points of view, what assumptions about what is necessary for wholeness, are currently keeping us from abundant life, or causing us to stop others from their abundance-bringing work. It’s time to learn how to let those harmful assumptions go — and hold tight to the things that bring true wholeness.

For more on this text, check out my translation notes, which include a lot of commentary from D. Mark Davis’s own exegetical work.

For more on disability theology, you might enjoy my #disability theology tag on tumblr or my Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series. This video exploring the many different perspectives on disability found within the Bible is particularly pertinent.

Finally, what do you think? What good news do you hear in this Mark 9 text? What parts of it feel like a stumbling block for you, dredging up hurt or confusion?

#what do you think?#disability theology #mark 9 #mark 9:38-50 #bible translation #translation #reading and studying the bible #bible tag #long post #log #fall 2021 #lectionary

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starlight-ascension · 3 years

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The girls as Power Quotes

Nagisa: “You could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature”

Honoka: “You will be reduced down to a single atom once I am done with you”

Hikari: “I see now that the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant: it’s what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.”

Nozomi: “Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end”

Rin: “I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me”

Urara: “Each comment is a prayer, bringing me closer to emerging from my cursed plane. Thank you for heralding the apocalypse this old god brings.”

Komachi: “Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse in the body of others and makes them bleed deeper in something that’s larger than life, than his essence, his spirit, will be immortalized by the storytellers.”

Karen: “The words of prophets are written on the subway walls”

Kurumi: “In a world of blood and chaos, rabbits must hunt as wolves”

Love: “Tonight you spoke with the devil. The devil looked a lot like you.”

Miki: “Your boos mean nothing. I’ve seen what makes you cheer.”

Inori: “No pet is perfect, it becomes perfect when you accept it for what it is.”

Setsuna: “Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters”

Tsubomi: “No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle”

Erika: “Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Itsuki: “I will seize destiny by the throat and force it into the shape of my choosing”

Yuri: “God gave me depression because if my ambitions went unchecked I would have bested him in hand-to-hand combat by age 16”

Hibiki: “Bury me shallow, I’ll be back”

Kanade: “I hope your gods forgive you because we surely won’t”

Ellen: “I am a monument to all your sins”

Ako: “The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice.”

Miyuki: “There’s no light at the end of this tunnel, so it’s a good thing we brought matches”

Akane: “If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight just like I always have”

Yayoi: “There is not enough time to make all the things one’s imagination can conjure”

Nao: “All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain”

Reika: “Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.”

Ayumi: “Our paths may have crossed briefly but you still had the misfortune of knowing me”

Mana: “Whenever you look at another creator or an artist that you respect, you’re only seeing what took them a long time of work and doubt to push through. You never see the struggle behind it. So you think you’re the only one struggling, when in fact, everyone goes through it.”

Rikka: “Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t”

Alice: “The anger in your heart warms you now, but will leave you cold in your grave.”

Makoto: “I’ve been through hell and I’ll come out singing”

Aguri: “You kneel before my throne unaware that it was born on lies”

Regina: “What is better: to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort”

Megumi: “This is hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods”

Hime: “I thought there were no heroes left in the world”

Yuko: “To feel sorrow is to deserve peace”

Iona: “God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own”

Haruka: “All knowledge is ultimately based on that which we cannot prove. Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”

Minami: “What the fuck is that, ‘act my age’? The ocean is old as fuck, it will still drown your ass with vigor.”

Kirara: “If you don’t like what I’m doing you can try to stop me, but given that not even God has succeeded yet I don’t fancy your odds”

Twilight: “You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army, and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child, but I am beyond strength. I am the end, and I have come for you.”

(yeah i did twilight instead of towa because this quote is incredibly badass and only fits a villain)

Mirai: “Do I look like the kind of woman who dies?”

Liko: “God is dead and soon we will follow”

Kotoha: “To become god is the loneliest achievement of them all”

Ichika: “Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sort of good at something”

Himari: “What are you gonna do with that big bat? Gonna hit me? Better make it count. Better make it hurt. Better kill me in one shot.”

Aoi: “I will face god and walk backwards into hell”

Yukari: “I’ve heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering, and tonight I intend to make you very wise.”

Akira: “Too many people have opinions on things they know nothing about. And the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have.”

Ciel: “My body may be a temple but I am the God to whom it is devoted. Do not presume to tell me how I may decorate my altar.”

Hana: “Violence for violence is the rule of beasts”

Saaya: “People say ‘phase’ as if impermanence means insignificance. Show me a permanent state of the self.”

Homare: “Do not let my origin story become yours”

Emiru: “You can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding.”

Ruru: “One day you’ll decompose and I’ll be there to watch it happen”

Hikaru: “No curse of mine shall befall you from my dying breath”

Lala: “Pick a god and pray”

Elena: “One day you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled”

Madoka: “My father taught me as a child that if you shoot for the moon and miss, the cold vaccuum of space will suck out your eyeballs. Failure is not an option. Go kill them.”

Yuni: “What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity”

Nodoka: “I’ll do whatever you want” “Then perish”

Chiyu: “You know what they say about healers and poisoners: similar skill set, very different philosophies”.

Hinata: “The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility”

Asumi: “There is no point being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes”

#shitpost #precure

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lastxviolet · 3 years

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The Assistant - CH. 1

Description: Summary - Her sixth year at Hogwarts was supposed to be relatively peaceful but after an incident on the Hogwarts express, Violet Wilkes finds herself the newest target of the Weasley twins. This, combined with a dark family secret, and the Triwizard tournament, makes her first few months back more exciting and stressful than every year before.

pairing: George Weasley x Original Female Character

warnings: pg-13. slow burn, eventual smut hehe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218804/chapters/69148695

The Dark Mark.

Cloaked figures running, burning, torturing.

The threat of a second war.

Screaming.

A sharp train whistle brought Violet Wilkes back into her body on Platform 9 ¾, its sound tearing her mind away from the horrifying morning news in the Daily Prophet just last week. The moving pictures on the papers front page had barely left her thoughts, even now, as she was steps away from saying goodbye to her family for nearly a year, the dark mark burned behind her eyelids with every blink.

She walked ahead of her parents and little sister, weaving through the crowd of fawning mothers and sniffling siblings, towards the very last car in the line, dreading the long journey ahead more and more with every step.

For the past five years, she had seriously considered not returning to Hogwarts, solely because of the egregious train ride from London, and this year was no different, except for the pit in her stomach from the thought of noise, people, and confined space was joined by the fear of her family's hypothetical imminent doom at the hands of Death Eaters. Despite the fact that no one else shared her fears.

She'd told them all week that the events at the Quidditch World Cup weren't a fluke. No one conjured the most fearsome symbol in their world nearly thirteen years after its disappearance, by accident. It meant something.

A terrible something.

And now, she was leaving them. Defenseless.

Her father hadn't picked up his wand in nearly a decade, and her mother had no magical abilities to speak of. Her sister, Olivia, would surely be a powerful witch in the coming years but for now, she remained a timid ten-year-old. They hardly stood a chance without her. That was if the events last week were as dire and fearsome as she believed them to be.

Of all people, she thought her father would understand her worry but he insisted that it wasn't going to be like 'last time.' Even then, she'd made him swear that he would brush up on his spells and hexes just in case you-know-who had returned and picked up where he'd left off, targeting blood traitors and their families.

The train whistle cut through the commotion again and they sped up to make the 11:00 departure. She glanced down at her watch; 10:58.

If they hurried, she'd make it. But if they didn't, the train would mosey on without her. Not that she'd mind.

She looked around at her fellow hustling peers pouring into the train and exhaled sharply. What if she just stopped? Dropped to her knees and refused to move. Missed the train and begged her father to let her go to a muggle school as her mother had. Her fingers gripped the iron handrail in the vestibule of the final car, and she hesitated, ready to throw herself back onto the platform but deep down, she knew it was already too late. There was no avoiding the journey ahead.

Her sister launched into her arms, squeezing tight before her mother's arms replaced them around her neck. She kissed her father's cheek last, lingering on his kind, dark blue eyes, staring at their own mirrored pupils in her head. He pressed one more kiss onto her forehead before stepping back to wrap his arms around the other halves of her heart.

A blood-traitor.

How could anyone call him a blood traitor?

Easy, she thought. It was the same way her housemates called her a half-blood. With condescending smirks and dead eyes.

She turned to enter the car so they couldn't see the tear falling down her cheek and rushed to wipe it away before she came back into view through the last window.

Her sister called out a final time when the train began to slowly move away and a wave of dread constricted her lungs. The sound was too similar to the screams she heard in her nightmares nearly every night. Fog from her breath on the window obscured the final visible moments of her family's smiling faces and wildly waving arms as the platform disappeared from view.

11:00. As one torturous moment ended, another, 8-hour-long one, began. The ruckus of running feet, excited hello's, and sporadic spell work was instantaneous and completely impossible to ignore. She closed her eyes and tried to tune it out.

She couldn't conceive why a wizarding school would trust their unsupervised adolescent students to not blow each other up when muggle schools barely trusted their docile coeds to use the bathroom alone. Other people's happiness didn't normally give her such a headache but the lack of professor supervision provided no perimeters on her peer's ability to run amuck.

She felt her stomach flip with the swaying movement. Bile burned her throat, as the seat underneath her moved back and forth, rocking in a nauseating pattern. The noise, in combination with the repetitive piercing whistle and lurching wheels thudding through London, was dizzying.

Distraction. She needed a distraction.

Calloused leather brushed her hip, reminding her that she'd anticipated this very moment. She thanked her past self profusely and dug through the bag until the pebbly fabric of her favorite muggle book scratched her fingertips.

The deep blue hardcover still precariously clung to its title even after years of wear and tear, reading and rereading. She caressed the carved gold words with a shaky, anxious finger.

The Princess Bride

By William Goldman

It was a pity that the Hogwarts library didn't cater to muggle-born students, she thought. Even in Muggle Studies class, assigned readings were books about muggles, written by the magical beings that walked among them. Wizard writers were wonderful but their ability to write compelling fiction was limited when they can do the unthinkable with the mindless flick of a wand.

She flipped it open and paused to admire her mother's swirly signature on the dedication page before turning to the first chapter.

"I've been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn't listen. Every time you said 'Farm Boy do this' you thought I was answering 'As you wish' but that's only because you were hearing wrong. 'I love you' was what it was, but you never heard, and you never heard."

"I hear you now, and I promise you this: I will never love anyone else. Only Westley. Until I die."

Eventually, the disorienting blur of houses, trees, and cars ceased— replaced by much more appealing, rolling hills and sprawling fields. The speed of the train was barely discernible as the scenery outside the window moved in slow motion, barely changing, monotonous and still, a comfort to her dizzy head.

She glanced towards the glass doors that were protecting her from the chaos throughout the halls and determined that the motion sickness and general discomfort had been suppressed. She took a deep breath and weighed the options for the second half of the trip. Stay, and finish the beloved book that lay open in her lap, or leave, and trade all peace for conversation.

Alone, but also lonely.

She'd probably missed loads of drama on the first half of the ride, and Sadie would surely be furious with her for being absent.

Sadie Baldock had plopped down next to her at the Slytherin table one random morning during her second week at Hogwarts. Happy to have some company, she'd let the energetic girl talk her ear off for the entire meal, not once interrupting or telling her to shut up, even though it would've been warranted. They'd been best friends ever since and she'd been an absolute treasure for the entirety of their past five years.

Despite Sadies strong personality and pension for gossip, she understood and accepted that Violet had no desire to be attached at the hip to anyone and gladly gave her space.

Alone and lonely, was much better than being suffocated, she thought. This had been her preference, even before she arrived at Hogwarts, and was sorted into Slytherin, her supposed 'family' away from home.

She scoffed and shook her head.

Family, yeah right.

Other houses might consider themselves family. Hers, however, felt more like a cage.

Families weren't supposed to be judgmental, at least not to the degree that her peers were. Families didn't shun disgraced peers for impure bloodlines or enforce generational loyalty without question. In recent years, the house had shed any sense of camaraderie left, even between those with pure-blood and ancient ties.

Due to this, tensions ran high and tempers were like time-bombs. It was exhausting to bite her tongue enough to remain cordial with most of the somewhat sane peers in her house and fly under the radar of the rest. She clenched her jaw, remembering Draco Malfoy and crew taunting her half-blood status and muggle mother.

Exhausting, but necessary, for self-preservation and peaceful existence. She occasionally betrayed herself with a viper-quick temper that was always simmering in her chest but most took it for stereotypical Slytherin nastiness, and not a haunting disdain for those who shared her green and silver uniform. This, a knack for potions and a morbidly dark wardrobe were perhaps the only evidence of a correct sorting.

Oh well, she thought. It was a bit late in her career to be considering a house change, besides, the sorting hat was a sod old brute who insisted that he was never wrong.

In actuality though, it wasn't all terrible. At least she had Sadie and the few other perks that came with the snake emblem.

The dungeons provided cool darkness that deprived the senses of any reason for restlessness and anxiety. Although the green uniform occasionally invited disapproving glances, it complimented her dark blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair much better than the blue and white of Ravenclaw, or heaven forbid the bright red Gryffindor insignia. And, she was only a few feet away from the potions classroom, where she'd managed to instate herself as one of the only students their head of house, Professor Severus Snape, did not actively hate. The bond had been painstakingly cultivated over the years the only that way he would allow; speaking when spoken to, correct answers, and perfect potions.

She stared out the window, focusing on the rolling hills, trying to let go of the gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that couldn't help but wonder if the hat had gotten it wrong.

Introspection was one of her biggest flaws. Sadie was constantly telling her to get out of her head and she knew that she was right. But, analysis always felt necessary, even about moments and emotions long gone. Sorting through every feeling, decision, movement; double-checking every second to make sure they were all accounted for, was compulsory.

Even now, six years later, she wondered whether she even truly belonged in Slytherin, and whether or not being sorted into the other houses would've been easier or even different at all. Would it have been better to be sorted into her father's Hufflepuff house?

Maybe, but unfortunately, when considering where to place her, the sorting hat had ignored her father and zeroed in on the countless other Wilkes before him, all in Slytherin, before deciding that she would be forced to pick up the lineage again. Not that any of them would ever know, or care.

She felt a shiver down her spine.

It was for the best that they hadn't any idea of her existence, let alone the continuation of their legacy.

She squeezed her eyes closed and the beautiful scenery outside dissolved into the Dark Mark behind her lids and the memory of photos she'd secretly found amongst her father's old school things. Photos of a boy, a few years older than her father, clad in green standing next to his younger brother in yellow and black.

A legacy, broken. A legacy, reborn.

She felt her heartbeat quicken and tried desperately to conjure the image of her sister, next year, with the sorting hat on her head, yelling any other house's name.

Screams from the next train car over tore her away from her thoughts. She jumped slightly and shook her head, glad for a distraction from the oncoming downward spiral. She'd forgotten where she was for a moment but another chorus of "no's" and laughter bursting through the door at the front of the cabin pulled her back to reality.

Pushing the doors apart slightly, she poked her head into the hall and moved to step out but voices stopped her. Loud, obnoxious, exuberant voices yelled something about "research" to an amused audience.

The Weasley twins.

Maybe the imminent doom she'd been worrying about wouldn't come at the hands of Death Eaters at all, but two idiotic and insufferable redheads instead.

She searched for an escape, eyes moving frantically, but her only option seemed to be a jump from the back door and onto the tracks below. Why hadn't she left to find Sadie when she'd had the chance?

Rolling her eyes as far back into her head as they would go, she sunk back down onto the bench and held her breath, hoping to miraculously turn invisible before the twins could sour her mood further.

"C'mon George, one last try," a voice belonging to Fred Weasley yelled over the last wave of students laughing and telling the twins to get lost.

She groaned, knowing that they were indeed coming for her. She couldn't think of a single time during her years at Hogwarts when she'd enjoyed the terroristic Weasley antics, but this moment was particularly ill-timed. Their talents for pranking were legendary and despite being in the same year, she'd never been a target or victim. But, it seemed as though her time had come.

She screwed her eyes shut, trying to find a single positive about the cursed situation. The nerves twisted her stomach into a knot while she listened to nearing footsteps. Maybe, if she played along and let them get it out of their system, they would leave quicker, and get back to ignoring her.

Another couple of torturous seconds crawled by before the twin who she thought might be George yanked open the cabin door.

She forced herself to breathe and tilted her head to meet them with a perturbed expression glued to her face; brows furrowed, lips pursed, and arms crossed. Every Slytherin instinct whispered in her ear to hex them back to London but the exhaustion from her emotional goodbye a few hours ago overwhelmed any anger left, resigning her to accept this fate without much of a fight.

"Well hello, Violet. Today is your lucky day."

She was right, the one coming in first was George Weasley. She recognized the two moles on the left side of his neck from Herbology last year when she'd fantasized about slashing his jugular when he wouldn't shut up.

He moved her feet from the bench opposite her, and she stared at him, noting that his slightly crooked nose also distinguished him from the brother coming in second. Once seated, they stared at her with intense brown eyes, and eager slack-jaw smiles —incredibly sharp features exaggerated by flowing radioactive red hair, waiting for an answer.

"Is that so?" she growled, conjuring a deadpan stare.

The twins straightened their chests and leaned forward simultaneously. "Yes, indeed," Fred said, the excitement in his face and voice completely unaffected by her cold response. "And we'll tell you why. George?"

"For a limited time only, you have the incredible opportunity to join us on an intellectual exploration," George explained. She shot him a disapproving glance before shifting back to Fred who was nodding fervently at his brother's side. "Groundbreaking research," he added, sensing her apprehension.

"I've never exactly thought of you two as intellectual," she sneered.

"Been thinking about us though?" George teased.

She cursed herself for the blush that formed instantly and shifted her gaze back to Fred who was still waiting anxiously to explain the situation.

"All you need to do is eat this delicious toffee," Fred said, producing a brown lump from his robe.

He shoved it towards her and unsuccessfully tried to hide the mischievous glint in his eye with a sweet smile.

She glared at him, remaining silent, unsure of what to say next. What were they trying to pull? And why did they think that she was going to fall for it this easily? Did they think she was stupid?

She narrowed her eyes and tried to ignore her bruised dignity. "You're joking," she drawled, earning fake looks of concern from both of the twins. "What makes you think I'm going to fall for that?"

Fred's long red hair covered his face slightly as he shook his head. "See this is where everyone keeps misunderstanding us, George."

George leaned across the small space between them. "Indeed Fred —Violet darling, clearly our offer is much too transparent to be a prank," he said, now a little too close for comfort. "This is product research for our business so please try and take it seriously."

She scowled at the pet name and leaned away. Why was he being so familiar with her?

Gryffindors. Always too friendly to be trusted. At least her fellow Slytherins never tried to hide their agenda, no matter how much their bluntness stung.

It was difficult to gauge how to best get rid of them. Their puppy dog eyes didn't seem to be affected by rudeness, if anything, it seemed to egg them on further. She decided to try another route instead, hoping to catch them off guard.

"Fine. In the spirit of transparency, say that I do eat it," she said. "What will happen to me?"

Their coy confidence turned to surprise. "It's only ever been tested on a Muggle so we have no clue," George confessed matter-o-factly. "Hence it being such a great research opportunity."

"You'd be a pioneer," Fred finished, a stupid confident grin returning to his face. "Maybe even a legend."

Violet looked down at Fred's outstretched arm and plucked the brown ball from his hand. She stared at it skeptically and brought it up to her nose. It smelled just like normal toffee, but no way it was that simple.

The twins exchanged a nervous glance and she could tell that they were holding their breath.

They most likely doubted her ability to take a joke and were probably nervous about the outcome of their prank, if she did indeed fall for it.

She couldn't blame them, of course. Last year, Blaise Zabini, one of Malfoy's toadies, joked about her mother being a muggle during the Halloween feast, and nearly the whole school had witnessed her merciless rebuttal. She stifled a smile, remembering the look on his face when she'd stuck her wand in his mouth and said "Langlock." His friends had scrambled and scratched to open his mouth again and Madam Pomfrey had about reached her wits end trying to figure out how to separate his tongue from the roof of his mouth. She wondered if they'd been there for that, but the sudden hesitation in George's smile told her they were well aware of her short fuse.

Lucky for them though, she didn't have enough energy to fly off the handle today.

She slipped her wand out of her bag and touched the tip to the toffee, muttering a revealing charm. "Specialis Revelio."

The twins lunged forward to snatch their sweet back, but she was quicker.

"An engorgement charm?"

"That's cheating," Fred protested.

"What is this?"

They stared at her with a mixture of defeat and annoyance.

"It's a ton-tongue-toffee," George said grimly. "The newest product from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes."

She remembered him talking about his plans for a joke shop constantly in Herbology, while his gaggle of admiring Gryffindors hung onto every word but she never thought he could be serious about such a stupid career endeavor.

She frowned. "That's idiotic."

"That's the whole point," Fred snapped. "It would've been funny if you hadn't taken the easy way out."

"What would have been funny?" she countered, relishing in their sudden mood shift from smug to perturbed. "Me casting a counter-charm as soon as I felt my tongue swelling? I thought you two were supposed to be good at pranks."

She tried to hide her delight at the ability to get under their skin. Their presence was unwelcome but not as completely intolerable as she had expected, even as their cheerful nature and goofy grins faded, they were almost bearable.

Suddenly, she saw something dark shift over George's gaze. "Well then eat it, if you're so sure."

Violet's eyes widened, unprepared for the confident challenge. Irritation moved swiftly through her chest. She tried to hide her nerves and glanced down at the ball in her hand. It would be easier to tell them to leave, or even get up and walk away but she couldn't let a Weasley best her.

If living inside of her head was her first flaw, then pride was her second.

Her eyes bore holes into George's, and regardless of what happened next, his look of shock was prize enough as she popped the lump into her mouth. The toffee was a little warm and soft but not inedible, she wondered if their mother had made it.

Her mouth was fuzzy before she even swallowed, and as she had suspected, her tongue began to swell profusely. She poked the tip of her wand to her tongue as it flopped out of her mouth, nearly reaching twice its size.

"Reducio."

The twin's mouths dropped open in shock before they exchanged a curious glance. Even though the counter-charm came out with a slight lisp, as quick as it had happened, her mouth closed around her normal-sized tongue, the caramel-like taste of toffee on her lips all that remained of the prank.

She broke her staring contest with George and glanced back to Fred, but neither looked like they were going to say anything.

Arrogance replaced her irritation and she just couldn't hold back.

"Had you not thought of that?" She asked with a smug smile. "I hope none of your other products are so easily reversible. Who would want to buy something so temporary? Faulty merchandise is hardly a way to run a business."

They both stared at her in displeasure, but George looked more enraged than anything, not that she cared about hurting his feelings. This was turning out to be quite fun, she thought.

"Well, you've been a lovely assistant," Fred said, trying to quell the tension and clearly over the situation. "C'mon Georgie, finding someone less capable than Wilkes will be a snap."

George didn't budge. He just stared back at her, his brow furrowed, like he couldn't remember her name anymore. The thoughtful expression was freaking her out. She waited for him to return to the annoying ginger twat who had entered her cabin without permission but his expression didn't change.

His eyes searched hers for something but she couldn't tell what. She chanted 'fuck off' in her head, hoping that he could see the sentiment reflected in her eyes.

How odd, looking at them now, they weren't identical at all. While Fred seemed to operate as their crazy motor, George was something else…steering wheel maybe? Regardless, she was glad their exchange was coming to an end.

"What would you suggest then?" George inquired with a sneer, standing up to follow his brother out the door. "Since you're so smart."

As if she'd help them.

George loomed over her, blocking her view of anything else. She stared up at him defiantly, not letting his size intimidate her. The question lingered in the thick air between them, ringing in her ears over and over. Surprisingly, she did indeed have an answer to his inquiry, not that she was going to say anything. They didn't deserve her help, even if she could mask it as superiority. She waited for him to leave but he seemed just as content sitting in their tension as she was.

He smirked and that threw her over the edge.

Besting him in his expertise would be a satisfying final nail in the coffin and he'd asked for it. She didn't mind him this way, begging her to intellectually best him.

"Potions," she blurted.

She watched his eyes widen. "What?"

"Potions," she repeated wearily. "If you had used Swelling Solution, it wouldn't have been detectable by a revealing charm and no one would take the time to brew its antidote. Victims would be stuck with a fat tongue until the effects wore off, which, apparently, is funny."

It had meant to sound smug but it came out too much like she was tutoring him in earnest. He looked just as surprised at her tone as she was and stood up a little straighter, before reaching for the door. She glanced down at her hands, aware of his eyes still on her, and cursed the sincerity in her voice, hoping he wouldn't take it seriously or respond.

Thankfully, the door clicked shut and his footsteps disappeared down the hall, without another word. She sighed in relief and stuffed the book back into her bag to finally go find Sadie.

Violet shook the strange interaction with the Weasleys from her head and pushed through, packed train car, after packed train car before reaching the self-anointed 'Slytherin Only' door. Out of all the options on the train, her house had managed to claim the worst one. The tables and benches were much more uncomfortable than the stuffy cabins and the openness of the room made every ride a free-for-all.

The window fogged from her breath for a moment but through the sea of green, black, and silver, she could just make out the short, dark-haired girl she'd been looking for.

She wove through the room, focusing on Sadie's scowling face, at the back table. She followed the witch's death glare to a gaggle of girls surrounding Draco Malfoy across the room, holding up some Quidditch pamphlet that was somehow making them squeal. She pushed through a group of large boys lurking around a few older sixth years and successfully made it the length of the train without anyone trying to speak with her, or leer something hurtful, which was prone to happen.

"I was beginning to wonder if you even got on," Sadie said.

"Please, hold your applause," she responded, thankful to hear her friend's voice after months apart.

Sadie smirked knowingly. "Did you yak?"

Violet sat on the bench across from her. "Nope. Almost threw myself out of the window near Manchester though, when the Weasley twins raided my compartment."

She thought about recounting the entirety of the strange interaction but decided against it, as Sadie already seemed perturbed enough.

"Merlin, those spazzy gits never take a day off. We haven't even started the school year yet," she murmured. "Please tell me you unleashed your wrath on them."

Before she could answer, a chorus of ooh's and ahh's erupted from the show going on at the front table.

"Oi get a room or shut the hell up," Sadie yelled, earning her more than a few dirty looks around the room and an especially sour sneer from Malfoy himself.

"Shove off, Baldock," Malfoy sneered.

Normally, Violet would've laughed but she didn't particularly feel like drawing attention to herself today so she turned to avoid his gaze.

"I swear, those girls should be over that albino twat by now," she scowled, staring daggers into Malfoy's back.

"Not everyone has your refined taste Sades."

Her friend fell silent, gazing towards the blond boy dreamily. "Vi, do you think I could kill him? Snap him like a twig or something?"

She laughed and turned slightly, ensuring that Malfoy's ominous gaze was off of them. "Surely he deserves a more painful death than that."

She shifted in her seat to rest the side of her face against the window and smiled at Sadie's hearty, murderous cackle. The cool glass quelled any queasiness left as she watched the sunset over Scotland, signaling that the ride was almost over. Despite her surroundings and previous disposition, it was quite beautiful.

As she has suspected, Sadie recounted the first couple hours of the ride with impeccable detail. Pansy Parkinson had gotten an unfortunate haircut, Theodore Knott had gotten hotter over the summer, and Malfoy wouldn't shut up about the Quidditch World Cup.

Her mind snapped to the dark mark once again. Of course, the Malfoy's had been in attendance.

"He was there?" she whispered across the table.

"Of course he was. As if his family would miss an opportunity to show off to the whole world," Sadie said rolling her eyes.

"What did he say about it?"

"Just the usual. Father this, ministers box that. Gloating twat."

"Did he say anything about the ending…about the Dark Mark?"

Violet's ears rang.

A forgotten picture she'd stumbled upon in her father's abandoned school photo album flashed in her mind once more. Lucious Malfoy swinging his arm around her uncle, clad in Slytherin robes, a year before the war started. Their smiling faces were unburdened from what was yet to come.

The same Lucious Malfoy who was charged with being a Death Eater, but ultimately exonerated.

Sadie shrugged. "Just that he saw Potter running scared like a little girl," she said plainly before launching into the details of her summer. It was the same every year; she fought with her sisters and mother all summer long, and then cried like a baby while saying goodbye to them on the platform.

Violet attempted to tune her out and glanced at the cruel blonde.

This was the closest she'd been to him in nearly two years. Ever since Lucious had recognized her father on the platform, she'd taken every precaution to dodge him in every meal, class, or school event, in order to avoid the things that he knew about her.

The image of both Malfoy's smiles twitching smugly as Lucious recanted the Wilkes family history to his monstrous son on the train platform flashed in her mind. Her father had ushered the family away, uncaring of the secrets that would follow her to school and unwilling to speak about it.

She knew he knew, and even though he had every opportunity to tell the whole school, he didn't. Or rather, hadn't yet, like she knew he would someday. She could tell that he was waiting for the most opportune time by the way he said half-blood, and blood traitor instead of her name and the way his eyes were always just a little too confident when regarding her. The anticipation and fear seemed to be torture enough, for him. Surely though, it was only a matter of time.

His presence suddenly became too much. The thought of sharing a room with someone so amused by the ridicule of anyone who wasn't of pure-blood made the taste of bile claw up her throat.

"Sades," she interrupted her friend who was still animatedly speaking. "Wanna head back to mine and change?"

The dark-haired witch nodded and chattered on.

She led them both back down the train, breathing freely again among less threatening red, blue, and yellow students. She was relieved to have Sadie rambling at her side, yelling at first years in their way, and shoving leering seventh-year boys back into the cabins.

They finally reached the last car, and suddenly, she felt her breath hitch in her throat. A tall redhead was leaning against the wall outside of her cabin. He was staring down at his shoes and muttering something. She couldn't tell which one it was from this angle but had a hunch.

Two times in one day? She must be cursed.

Her stomach tangled itself once more with nerves. Maybe he'd come back to enact some cruel revenge on her, for thwarting his prank. She gripped Sadies hand a little tighter, thankful to have her as a backup if things went south. The sound of her footsteps made him finally lookup. She wasn't expecting the expressionless look on his face, and suddenly she doubted that he wanted to harm her at all.

Sadie saw him not a second later and pushed past her, letting go of her hand and yelling, "Bothering her once wasn't enough, you back for more Weasley?"

George's calm face suddenly contorted into panic as Sadie shoved past him and into the cabin. Violet didn't move, and stared at him from a few paces away, unsure of what he was doing if not pranking her.

She hadn't noticed his height earlier when they were sitting, but now that she stood in front of him, it was a shock to be eye level with his chest. Concealing her nervousness to the best of her ability, she met his eyes.

"What?" She said deadpan, hoping to convey his unwelcomeness as much as Sadie had.

He furrowed his brow and looked down at the ground for a moment, failing to hide a flustered blush.

"Sorry…erm — I thought I forgot something —talk to you later," he mumbled through a forced smile. The sudden change in demeanor was surprising. His attempt at confidence was oddly manufactured and she saw, for the first time, a glimmer of shyness.

Git. He probably needed his brother for backup.

Before she could say anything, he brushed past her and sped down the hall and out the door.

"What the bloody hell was that," Sadie said, scrunching her nose in annoyance. "Freaks, the lot of them."

Violet's stomach detangled itself and she turned to watch the floppy long hair retreat from view. She nodded in agreement but kept her mouth closed.

#george weasley x original female character #george weasley #george weasley fanfic #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley smut #dating george weasley

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laviniarowle · 3 years

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⧼ brittany o'grady, cis female, she/they / human by sevdaliza + there was once a tongue freshly bit, sensitive to the touch but that much more aware of it’s surroundings, cool, smooth, teeth used for ripping, cracked lips peeling apart for more. a release of saccharine sweet honey suckle turned sour too soon. bare feet padding on cool stone floors the weight of the world laying heavy upon their owner’s pockets filled with items meant for a different self . ⧽ ━━ hey, isn’t that LAVINIA ROSE ROWLE? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the 26 year old [ pure blood ] SQUIB who is currently a [ HOUSE KEEPER AT HOGWARTS ]. i’ve heard they can be quite INSIGHTFUL & RESOURCEFUL, but i don’t know… they came off very GUILEFUL & JADED in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it? [ katia, 23, est, she/her ]

[ LAVINIA ] : Woman of Rome. An example. An offering. Not enough.

[ ROSE ] : A thorn bush without flowers she grew waiting for the moment she would bloom.

[ ROWLE ]: A prominent and proud pureblooded family who chose to forget their daughter for the sake of that pride. Nothing came before the name.

[ BIRTH ]: June 26th, 1993, 13:03

[ HOMETOWN ] : Windsor, England

[ HEIGHT ] : 5’3

[ WEIGHT ] : 102 lbs

[ MARKS ] : No visible marks of disfigurement, Lavinia’s marks remained internal, bubbling to the surface at any moment.

[ PIERCINGS ] : No steel nor metal had pierced the skin of Lavinia. Toujour pur after all.

[ TATTOOS ] : There was only one tattoo that was permitted upon her skin which was the Rowle crest. A responsibility, a curse, a reminder of the goal that must be met.

[ NICKNAMES ] : Vinnie, It.

[ STYLE ] : Clean inconspicuous lines, designer with the tags still attached or hand me downs from last season. Sharp stilettos to cut the ice.

[ SCENT ] : Fresh grass after a rainfall, birch bark, moth balls, lilies of the valley in fresh bloom, Chanel de mademoiselle sprayed lightly in her wake.

THE BEFORE:

A cry to disrupt the afternoon tea. Terribly inconvenient with guests to tend to, babies to be left till they’re pretty again. Pretty, pretty, all in pink. Only the finest for the latest addition as long as they were everything they were meant to be. Perfection was a given, let alone a must. Purity comes at that cost among many others. Rigid backbones, stiff smiles, and a platitude of niceties that were all together not that nice. A girl who struggled to meet the ever raising bar set. Two siblings born of the same family it was not hard to see the difference; one could do what the other could not and it grew more apparent daily. Stricter became the rule of parents, and more neglectful became their watch for interest in a lesser that was not needed. So more desperate the younger child became to please. Anything to become the witch she was supposed to be. As days passed into years it became clear there was not simply an issue of wills, but rather something terribly wrong with the girl. Not a single sign of a drop of magic. Anxiously waiting for a letter that would never come much to one little girl’s despair. Dirty squib. It was at this point it was decided it would be better to part ways. Lavinia Rose Rowle was no longer to exist.

THE AFTER:

In the shadows of what should’ve been Lavinia grew to be the woman she is today. Forgotten if lucky, remembered if not. She would do anything to fulfill the role she had been born for, and anything she did do. That’s where the experimentation began. Born without magic she resorted to selling off family heirlooms and odds and ends to black market wizards, shamans, and charlatans to do the impossible. To change the very essence of who she was. Trapped between worlds, one foot resting on cool marble the other in the dirt, she struggled with acceptance of the facts. The early lessons instilled by her parents left her bitter and bigoted about her magical status, an atlas weight that pressed down upon her perfectly straight spine every day. The complex vulnerability of desperation mixed with the guarded guise of elitist perfection caused for an internal war that was ever present within her. There was nothing she could do, but also nothing she would give up for a chance to be something more than the scum she had been born among.

Blood was the distinguishing matter. Blood was the cause and blood was the cost. A paper doll with a steel skeleton. Dirty with a desperation to be clean. To be pure. Hidden away and hated.

Adjectives:

[ prejudiced ] : Because of her own treatment due to her lack of magical abilities, Lavinia has grown up with a very harsh view of other people and the hierarchy there must be. Of one that she feels she was cheated out of but knows she should’ve been on top of.

[ driven ] : There are no limits to what she would or wouldn’t do for her goals to be achieved. Nothing would stand in her way. Accepting defeat was not an option. Focused the serpent often got tunnel vision as a result.

[ guarded ] : Afraid to have her squib status known Lavinia is very guarded when it comes to who she is. As a result reading people is her forte as is turning the tables onto them as a form of deflection.

[ meticulous ] : Details, details, details. All of them were deciding factors in how the bigger picture turned out. For this reason Lavinia fixated as much as she could on the small so not to deal with the big.

[ resentful ] : Jealousy towards a sibling who had done nothing but be born the right way, she brewed in her negative feelings of entitlement. Growing up in the dark she watched them grow in a very different light, and made her deflect her bountiful amounts of hatred in her heart outwards.

#nox.intro #lazy edit but here's the nonmagical gal #&; and so she fell

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dingoat · 4 years

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Relationship Asks for Ahuska and Five: 2, 4, 7, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 27, 28, 29.

OH BOY OH BOY *cracks knuckles* time for another round of BEST GIRL VS WORST BOY.

Obviously this one needs a ‘read more’ (or ‘stick it behind a cut’ as my old school livejournal brain still thinks of it) because it’s gonna be a looonnnng one ahahaha. Some of these I’ve answered already but I’m just gonna copy-paste the responses here to keep it all together, especially since I’m gonna go through question by question for the sake of fun comparisons/contrasts rather than character by character!

2. ♥ When they have a crush on someone, how do they let them know?

Ahuska finds ways to be around them as much as possible and offers rapt attention to everything they say and do, showing interest in every part of their life, even the things she’d never given a second thought for beforehand. She’ll initiate physical contact, often in that ‘accidental’ sort of way- a hand touch that lingers, sliding down a bench a little ‘too far’ and winding up pressed together at the hips, feet bumping under a table, but sometimes more overt things like snuggling down and resting her head in a lap while staying up late watching holos might happen...

Five does not crush, he’s not twelve years old. When he has an interest in someone he may spend a period of time testing for compatability, pushing and pressing for reactions, and if he finds himself still interested (but for whatever reason nothing has naturally escalated in the meanwhile), he will quite simply and overtly request private company.

4. ♥ Do they spend a lot of time in the courting stage or attempt to get to first base as fast as possible?

Ahuska likes the thought of a long courtship, being wooed and pursued, teasing and flirting and yearning... but though she doesn’t actively try to rush her way to ‘first base’, precedent definitely suggests that once the option is there, no matter the time frame, she doesn’t really hesitate.

Five considers ‘first base’ (if you must phrase it in such a juvenile fashion) to be a starting point.

7. ♥ How do they feel about polygamy?

Ahuska’s intial gut reaction, when asked, is that it’s vastly preferable to having an affair! She thinks it’s a perfectly acceptable style of relationship, but it’s not something she’s ever related to herself- the thought that she might ever find herself loving and desiring more than one someone so deeply as to want them in her life to the same degree seems so beyond the realms of possibility that it’s just never crossed her mind. (Yet.)

However; she is incredibly committed and loyal in her relationships, and if she did find herself in such a place, she wouldn’t be able to handle sneaking behind backs or lies or secrecy; the guilt and misery and betrayal of trust would be the end of her. She would have to either leave one forever unrecognised/unsatisfied, or give polygamy some long and serious thought and very open discussion.

Five doesn’t really care what other people do, but it’s irrelevant to him because it suggests any kind of committed relationship at all. He simply sees who he wants, when he wants, and if anyone gets jealous of anyone else then that sounds like a them problem.

16. ♥ Do they have at least one bonding activity they devote to doing with their partner exclusively?

Aside from the obvious, I’m not sure Ahuska makes a point of keeping any particular activity exclusive? Sweet, potentially romantic activities like stargazing and long moonlit walks might naturally happen far more with the love of her life, but I don’t think she’d ever turn down the chance to do so with a close friend either (there’d just be less... hand-holding and cheek snuggles).

One might have thought that Five had a whole host of bonding activities exclusive to a single particular person... but what with that being more of a Watcher-Cipher thing, rather than a partners thing, that ‘exclusivity’ no longer exactly completely applies, whoops. (Granted, the new Cipher is not likely to ever experience the push-off-a-building trust exercise.) That said, it’s very likely that Thirteen is actually the only person who gets to experience Five in the context of completely casual, physical, and dare I say... affectionate company.

17. ♥ What sort of characteristics or quirks draw them to someone?

Ahuska needs to see the capacity for kindness, even if it’s wrapped in a crude, brash or sharp-edged package- or maybe especially so, because she is a little bit hopeless for a show of snark, cheek, and sharp wit (provided it’s not at her expense) and someone not afraid to draw blood to protect what they care about. She loves unexpected talents like dance or musical ability being sprung on her out of the blue, and she’s weak for demonstrations of confident competence.

Five is drawn to someone who can give and take as well as he can. Intelligence, attractiveness, skill. Wit and snark quite specifically at his expense so he has the opportunity to fight back; he wants to be challenged, but not beaten. His heart thunders for someone more physically capable than himself who he can, nonetheless, bring to their knees.

18. ♥ Do they have a ‘type’?

I thought Ahuska had a type, but I seem to have discovered that her heart is not quite so specific and compatability can come in more than one shape and size. She has a lot of love to give and can find it in very unexpected places.

Five definitely goes for people who demonstrate one very specific physical characteristic.

19. ♥ What was their first impression about their partner/person they are courting?

When Ahuska first saw Crow, she was struck with the fact that he didn’t carry himself with the alpha-dog machismo she’d come to expect from fellow Mandalorians of his particular demographic. And when he turned his grin her way, he very very firmly snared her attention.

When Ahuska first met Blakk, she simply thought he was a delightful, feisty, dear little fox, and was absolutely besotted with him, if not in the way that she eventually became (after the wildest possible ride of misunderstandings and twisted events and broken trust and reforged faith).

Five, I think, would have made a very swift and completely superficial assessment, found it very pleasing (provided there was no fashion disaster occurring at the time), and opened himself up to learning more. It wouldn’t have taken long to be drawn into that personality, either.

21. ♥ What was the most romantic time they had with their partner?

Ahuska’s most romantic time with Crow would almost definitely be their space-walk through the ice fields of Saleucami, followed by some slightly less life-threatening zero gravity playtime within the safety of their ship’s cargo hold. They’ve had a lot of terribly sweet moments but I’m not sure that any compare to that honeymoon trip.

With Blakk, Ahuska has experienced a number of wonderfully romantic moments... in their shared dreams. It can be hard to compete with a world where auroras and starlight of your own creation dance to the beat of your hearts as you discover just how real you are to one another, but in many ways that last morning they spent together in person before parting, before anything between them was properly admitted or understood, waking to the warmth of the sun and sharing a long breakfast together full of soft yearning and denial of the inevitable separation to come ranks very high on the heart aching romance scale.

Five understands ‘textbook romance’ perfectly well and has probably walked through all the steps with great success a number of times when seducing marks back in his Cipher days. But when it comes to his own actual desires….. it really is hard to apply the word ‘romantic’. Granted, he does enjoy the finer things in life and takes great pride in being a very good cook, and a certain someone knows exactly how to push his buttons to get most exactly what he wants out of him when he feels like it. So there probably have been some almost ‘nice’ evenings of home cooked meals and fine wine and bath oils, at least to begin with….?

22. ♥ Tell us about a sacrifice they made for their significant other.

Ahuska gave up Clan life, the chance to rise through the ranks and be the Mandalorian she never thought she could, and a lot of her innocence, to be with and stay with Crow.

For Blakk, Ahuska broke off her current romance, turned her back on her safety net, and basically gave up everything she had... just for the hope that they might find away to actually be together.

Five gave up a significant measure of control on two distinct occassions, both of which were considerably big deals for him.

23. ♥ Do they apologize to their partner even if it wasn’t their fault?

Ahuska will readily and even pre-emptively take on the blame for almost anything. If something is genuinely her fault, she will apologise profusely and genuinely, probably through tears, and feel bad about it long after forgiveness has been given. She will offer apologies even when not directly at fault if she thinks it will help to calm down or diffuse a situation.

Five, though, doesn’t do the ‘accepting blame’ thing and certainly won’t shoulder somebody else’s. The one occassion where he has accepted responsibility, he’s never actually said the word sorry aloud, and he’s not even come clean about the real circumstances. But his guilt over the matter is expressed still to this day, through actions and gifts that are never actually directly linked to the event in question.

27. ♥ Have they had dreams about their partner/the person they are courting?

Ahuska most certainly has; dreams are a significant part of every reality she experiences, and often a way that binds them together, so naturally the significant people in her life feature prominently. She’s leery of anything that has a sense of being prophetic, but does believe she’s witnessed possible futures in her dreams and the ones that suggest a long and full life with Crow are her favourites.

Through her Force-bond with Blakk, she’s been able to actually share dreams with him, which have been very profound experiences... but at the moment her dreams are only dreams, and any real senses she gets of him vanish the moment she tries to focus enough to actually reach him. It hurts.

Five dreams as anyone does, and there’s no doubt Thirteen would feature in them regularly. Nothing magical, nothing profound or prophetic, just good old fashioned disjointed images that the brain strings together in a loose approximation of a plot. What’s most disconcerting is if he makes any sort of appearance in his recurring nightmares.

28. ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courting’s feelings without them having to say anything?

Ahuska becomes very attuned to the people she cares most about; she’s naturally a very sensitive person who wants to understand her partners’ feelings, and her desire to understand and do the best for the people she loves is only ever enhanced by her connection to the Force. She’s connected to Crow through all their years and shared experiences together, and being tuned into the beat of his heart definitely helps her know his feelings despite what he might show on the outside. With Blakk she has the benefit of being literally bonded through the Force but... well. Hopefully they wind up back in a position where understanding one anothers’ feelings is a legitimate thing they can do. ;_;

Five is quite astute, if not completely fool-proof, and when he puts the effort in can do quite a servicable job of knowing where someone’s feelings are at- manipulation is one of the tools of his trade, after all. Just how much he actually cares to do so is a different story, but, well... stranger things have certainly happened. He might try to claim that Thirteen is an open book to him, but that might just be what Thirteen wants him to think.

29. ♥ How do they express their love to their partner?

Ahuska gives freely and openly, her time, her energy, her patience, her body and soul. She will share anything and everything, she will take risks for her partner and forsake all the rest of the galaxy for them. She will find little tokens to gift them; she will feature them amongst her sketches regularly, she will listen to them and back them up and walk beside them on the most foolardy of pursuits. She will find what matters to them, she will discover what they react and respond to best, and she will make it so. Ahuska doesn’t know how to love in any way other than giving it her all.

Five would never use so soft and loaded a term as ‘love’. That is for a completely different caliber of people, people he cares little for. Allowing someone into his apartment, into his personal space, is a reasonable demonstration fo trust. Giving someone his time outside of and completely unrelated to work is a monumental demonstration of fondness. A willingness to touch and be touched outside of immediate bedroom activities is a grand display of affection. Offering financial assistance/security is an unspoken indication that someone matters to him. Lump it all together and he’d still sooner shoot himself in the foot than admit aloud that he cares.

#ahuska asks #watcher five asks #relationship asks #omg i need to go sleep #ahahaha #apologies if this is riddled with typos and chopped up sentences #what an exercise in contrasts #tyty for asking!!#i love mulling over these things #i hope the answers satisfied #I'm too tired to make an objective judgement 8)

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homenum-revelio-hq · 4 years

Photo

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Amos!

You have been accepted for the role of non-biography character MAURICE CREEVEY with the faceclaim of Tom Sturridge! We really enjoyed reading through your application! The idea of a Muggleborn character who is actually not all that excited about going to Hogwarts is awesome! He’s resentful that he was taken away without a choice - resentful that he can’t go back and be the same person. We’re so thrilled to have him as an addition to the cast!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Amos

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE: GMT

ACTIVITY LEVEL: You already have a pretty good idea of my activity. There is also plenty of time when I’m around and could be writing but I am either caught up on Fab or don’t have quite the right muse for him, so hopefully this new charrie can fill those gaps!

ANYTHING ELSE: nope

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Maurice Creevey

AGE: 24

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Male, He/Him, Homosexual. Gender isn’t something he’s really ever thought about. He’s pretty content in that respect. He is quite unapologetically gay though.

BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn

HOUSE ALUMNI: Ravenclaw

ANY CHANGES: This is where you can request a FC change or a change from something in the skeleton bio.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

To sum Maurice up very concisely, he’s angry. He hasn’t always been. He was a relatively happy go lucky child, full of endless energy and enthusiasm. Then he was plucked from his life and sent away to a school to learn magic. At first that was pretty cool, after all, every 11 year old wishes they had magical abilities, the difference being they get to grow up and forget those wishes and live normal lives. He has to live with his childish fantasies for the rest of his life. And apart from that, he appears to be in a world where muggleborns are being hunted and killed by an evil wizard and his crazy cult. To make things worse, they can’t escape back to their muggle lives because of all the damn secrecy laws. So yes, he’s angry, and a lot of his actions are fueled by that. Make no mistake though, Maurice is no Gryffindor, he doesn’t use his anger in brash reckless ways, he is more calculated. You may catch it crackling under the surface occasionally, but it would take a lot to make him properly explode. Even slurs like ‘mudblood’ would only make him roll his eyes and perhaps give a snarky retort.

Maurice is a Ravenclaw. He is a big believer that knowledge is power. He did fairly well at his subjects in Hogwarts considering he didn’t try all that hard. He did not choose this path and as a consequence, resented it. He would often get his brother who was a few years older, to send him muggle textbooks when he’d finished with them. He was fascinated by science and maths and history. Of course he had some curiosity for his lessons at Hogwarts, and the things he and his magic was capable of, but the element of choice was important for him. It felt like by attending Hogwarts, a whole area of understanding was suddenly off limits. As anyone knows, forbidden knowledge is the most desirable.

He likes to ask questions about as much as any other Ravenclaw, but he is also a big observer. He likes to take time to gather information before jumping into a lot of things, especially interactions with other people. He by no means stalks people, but a few minutes, to watch, take someone in, before starting a conversation is quite usual for him. It’s all about making informed choices. As a consequence, unexpected interactions can throw him, making him more awkward than he’d like.

He can be arrogant, he has a conviction in his beliefs that can come across as condescension if viewed the wrong way. He can get frustrated when someone is not following his thinking quite as quickly as he’d like, which is why he’d make a terrible teacher. However, this works equally in the opposite direction. His frustration can be palpable when he doesn’t understand something, and these moments are when he is least in control. A lot of his acts of protest come from anger, sure, but also the frustration of not being able to fathom how things got so bad, why they can’t just make them better now, why people can’t see it for themselves. But usually he is quiet. Unless he is invited to speak, or is so damn angry the words won’t stop, he can keep his thoughts to himself until someone is listening and his words can have an impact.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Until the age of 11 Maurice grew up in a very normal, working class family in the midlands. His mother was a typical housewife, loving but somewhat distracted, staring out of windows whilst doing the washing up, leaving the dinner in slightly too long when listening to the radio. Maurice didn’t mind, he barely noticed, and she was excellent at bedtime stories, so what was there to complain about? His father was a miner, a tough, but humorous man. He worked hard, and he always came home dirty, but played football with them in the garden the weekends.

He has one older brother. Not the brightest bulb, but the kindest person Maurice knows. Maurice always thought him brave, in a quiet way. There is no one Maurice has ever looked up to quite like his big brother, even if they squabbled and scrapped as much as any other loving siblings.

Perhaps this happy set up, along with glowing school reports and a nice bunch of friends, was why he has always resented being ripped from that life and that path.

When he was a child, he dreamed of being an astronaut, an archaeologist, a doctor, a lawyer, and what’s more, none of these were stretches for him, with his brain and desire for learning, he could have done it, he could have gotten out of the rows and rows of back to back terraced houses that he and his family were confined to. He could have taken them with him. But he was torn away and sent to Hogwarts, and his parents only vaguely understood, were proud, but in a distant way. His brother became a milkman, a job he enjoyed, but not one that paid well. He married young, his school sweetheart, and they are expecting their first child. They all seem happy enough, they have the things that matter, enough food to eat, a roof over their head, love, but Maurice can’t help but feel he could have saved them. The terror of living paycheck to paycheck, the mundanity of their terraced hells, or just never being able to treat yourself to that little bit extra. He remembered as a child, when his father would be on strike, the unspoken fear that filled up their home. He had wanted to save them from that.

When he would return home for the summer, he would act like nothing had changed, he wouldn’t speak of Hogwarts, or of his magic. He would pretend like he was no different from them, but something had changed and something had broken, and eventually he realised that something couldn’t be fixed. Getting his Hogwarts letter had been the beginning of the end for Maurice. He hated it when summer would end and he’d have to go back, but he also hated going home in the first place.

OCCUPATION:

Maurice works as a sound engineer at the Wizarding Wireless Network. It was not something he expected of himself, more something he fell into. A job at the Ministry would have gone against all his principals. A deep hatred for ‘the man’ but also the wizarding world in general, he wasn’t about to go work in a place trying to keep it all ticking over, and bore himself to death in the process.

He considered more academic positions, but he’d had a hard enough time concentrating at Hogwarts. Trawling magical forests for new flora and fauna, or raiding tombs and breaking their curses had no appeal to him. Which largely left working class positions or the arts. It was not a tricky decision.

The newspaper was an option, but the fact that the Daily Prophet seemed to have a monopoly on journalism in wizarding Britain didn’t sit well with Maurice. Without another widely available newspaper to oppose their horribly biased reporting, what was the point? He would not be a puppet for their propaganda. For a while, he tried to write his own pieces, publish them independently, but that wasn’t entirely successful. The pieces were convoluted, preachy, and he had no audience, no one to either agree nor criticise him.

Eventually he wound up at the Wizarding Wireless Network. Again, it irked him that there was only one major company broadcasting, but at least they had a bit more variation, and whilst they did broadcast the news, the purpose leaned towards entertainment. It’s not a cause Maurice is particularly passionate for, but it’s not one he opposes.

As a sound engineer, he’s around for recordings and broadcasts, cleans up pre recorded audio, fixes equipment, just whatever needs doing that seems like it fit within his job title. Most of it he learned on the job, but it was fascinating enough to capture his attention, and similar enough to muggle radio not to infuriate him. It also introduced him to the world of pirate radio.

About 2 years after he started at WWN, his friend and mentor quit, and in his last few days, confided in Maurice that he was leaving to start his own show. Technically WWN was the only official broadcaster on wizarding radios, but if you knew how to get a frequency, you could broadcast whatever you liked. He and some friends were setting up a station out of someone’s garage, mostly to play the music the WWN spurned.

The idea lit a flame in Maurice. Of course, the fact that it was ever so slightly against the rules, and possibly the law, made it exciting. But the idea of broadcasting whatever he liked, even if there was no one listening, putting something out there, finite and unique.

So that’s what he does with his evenings at the weekends, he broadcasts late into the night and the early mornings. The Order gives him a focus, not just long rambling opinion pieces that sounds like the inner thoughts of a paranoid conspiracy theorist. He has found a purpose now. His show, it helps spread news, it helps spread information, it helps spread hope. Of course there is the tricky business of making sure the wrong ears don’t hear it, but he’s a smart guy, there’s a way around everything.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Maurice joined the Order with best friend, Daisy Hookum. He was at the same Squib’s Rights March, right in the middle of the rioting, and landed square in the Order’s gaze because of it.

Maurice has always been an activist, even before graduating Hogwarts, he would hold small demonstrations, conquering whatever stage fright he might have for the greater good. Standing up on tables at breakfast to make impassioned speeches, chaining himself to statues and refusing to go to class, he even came very close to slashing a painting once before the painting’s occupant managed to talk him out of it.

Maurice has taken a lot of inspiration from muggle strikes and demonstration techniques. He remembers picket lines from his childhood, and grew up with the punk movement. He even had a bright red mohawk once before Daisy told him it really didn’t suit him.

These energies are what he hoped to bring to the Order. He recognises that Voldemort and the Death Eaters are the main enemy, but in his eyes, the Ministry are accomplices, and he feels just as violently about them. The Death Eaters may be the ones directly killing people, but the Ministry are letting them do it, even helping them to a certain degree. The fact that so many squeaky clean Ministry employees come to the Order to ‘do their part’ indicates to him, that there are just as many who are going over to Voldemort for the same reason. He wishes more of their actions were against the Ministry directly, but he can also do that in his own time.

Day to day, Maurice is generally a pretty good foot soldier, he isn’t crazy about the actual violence part, but he’ll do it if he has to. He’d like a louder voice at the table, but he knows how these things work, and he knows too many cooks spoil the broth. The fact that they are organised is enough for him. There is a system, and if he ever feels he needs to take something to the top, then he knows how to do that.

He has also brought his pirate radio platform to the Order. It’s a good way to spread news to people such as those being helped by the dissendium task force, and a good way to organise large groups of people. And also quite simply, it can raise spirits. Assuming that people tune in to listen. Maurice doesn’t think it’s quite being used to its full potential, but it’s getting there. The Order function on secrecy, whereas Maurice wants to inform the masses. There is clearly a conflict of interest.

(I see this radio show as being very similar to the Potterwatch of the second wizarding war, and if it isn’t quite at that structure yet, then building it up to that during the game.)

I think although he is happy to fight with the Order, and be on the front line of the fight against You-Know-Who, his main motives are doing something about the International Statute of Secrecy, even if he is a little distracted by other things and other causes, it all really comes back to him having the choice to fight, to flee, to live his life where he pleases, taking the elements of both cultures and combining them. And he wants that choice for others as well. A lot of his anger and frustration is on a very personal selfish level, but he does recognise that he’s fighting this cause for people other than himself.

SURVIVAL:

Being both muggleborn and publicly vocal in his opinions, does put a bit of a target on Maurice’s back. He’s had a few close scrapes in the past, but luckily that’s as much as they were. Making enemies with a lot of purebloods perhaps isn’t the most efficient way to survive this war. He doesn’t move around a lot, thankfully he’s never been traced to his home address and he wants to keep it that way. He rents a little place in Muggle London, clean and comfortable enough, but out of the way and non-descript. He wards it heavily, and takes great lengths to make sure he isn’t followed home.

He isn’t too bad at dueling, but it isn’t his greatest strength. Mostly he relies on quick thinking rather than brute strength. And paranoia. He’s seen what the other side is capable of, and he’s heard enough of Moody’s lecture like speeches to know how to watch his back.

Still, he can lay awake many nights, realising there that if he continues to fight like this, there is a large chance he won’t survive the war. Is it worth it? He usually falls asleep before reaching a conclusive answer. Needless to say, as a 24 year old, he is terrified of dying. He is just also too angry to let that stop him.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Daisy Hookum: Friends since first year, he and Daisy have a special bond. There are very few people who know him as closely as Daisy knows him. Even his family, who he loves dearly, can’t understand him the way Daisy does. They may have been brought together by class timetables and group projects, but what bonded them was their shared views of the world. Particularly as they got older, they could talk for hours and hours about their politics. They didn’t always agree on every point, but respected each other enough to hear the other out. Of course this wasn’t the only thing that kept them friends. They could have fun together, let loose, forget for a little while that things were so bad, forget how angry they were.

They joined the Order together, as they did so much together. But then Daisy left for her year in the muggle world. Since then the relationship has been strained. He understood better than most what she was trying to do, but the reality is still that he felt abandoned, and jealous, that she could go off and live her ‘muggle’ life. It’s become obvious since her return that Maurice’s idea of activism is now split from hers. She wants to take a more passive role, and Maurice couldn’t bear that.

Caradoc Dearborn: Caradoc is someone Maurice begrudgingly looks up to. On the one hand he is everything he despises, wealthy and pure blooded. But the way he conducts himself is something that Maurice admires. He can’t help but want to be in Caradoc’s good books. If he had an issue within the Order, he would most likely take it to Caradoc.

Mary MacDonald: Mary is a more recent friend. They were a few years apart at Hogwarts and so only got to know each other after they both joined the Order. A lot of Mary’s politics match up with Maurice’s, and apart from that they are very compatible on a personal level. She is one of the lucky few Maurice has let in. Of course it helps that she is muggle-born as well, he feels that with so few of them inside the Order, they really have to stick together.

He has never been the most social of people. It is not that he doesn’t enjoy company, more that he doesn’t settle. If he is going to spend time with someone, properly invest in them, he wants to be sure they are the right person. He does not do this consciously you understand, but he is constantly assessing and reassessing the people in his life. First impressions, as he’s found, are often misleading, but that doesn’t mean doesn’t heed them. He’s more inclined to search out the red flags than give someone the benefit of the doubt. The people who slip through the cracks however, get the best of him. The warmth, the wit, everything he’s been desperately been bottling up waiting for the right vessel to pour it into.

Generally, Maurice is going to feel some animosity for the richer, pure blooded members of the order, but he’ll tolerate them. He’s also going to be fairly uninterested in those who aren’t as active in the cause, or any cause for that matter. So maybe he’s made a few enemies within the Order, or at least brushed some people the wrong way. Or perhaps he’s been pleasantly surprised by others.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: No ships or antiships, I’m really open to anything. I do see Maurice as gay, so I think relationships with women would be unlikely, but I’m a sucker for some unrequited love plots, or maybe some confused one night stands. Basically anything is on the table.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Well Maurice is a white male, so let’s start with that. I don’t think feminism is high up on his rank of causes, or racism, simply because I don’t think it’s played a huge role within his personal life experience. He probably doesn’t even realise a lot of the privileges he has as a white man.

He’s also gay, and whilst he is quite unapologetic about that, his sexuality seemed to be more of an issue in his muggle life than in the wizarding world, so it isn’t something he feels the need to fight about all the time. Again there are more important causes right now.

As a person who grew up in a working class family, he generally just resents the wealthy, and he won’t give them much chance to prove themselves to him either. This definitely stems from growing up poor, but perhaps if he’d been able to make his own fortune and save his family from their poverty, then he wouldn’t feel as strongly. In that sense it’s quite hypocritical. Now it’s also tied to the fact that the wealthy are the ones in control, both in the Death Eaters and their reign of terror, and at the Ministry, making and enforcing the laws that keep them all trapped and helpless. It hasn’t missed his attention that most of the wealthier wizards are pureblooded, so he’ll often lump them in with his disdain.

This works the other way as well. He’s willing to overlook a lot of shit that his working class/muggle born acquaintances get up to, forgive a lot of their sins. I don’t think he realises he does this, but it certainly happens.

He doesn’t necessarily hate the people who work for the Ministry, even if he has a dislike for the establishment and the way it’s run. He understands everyone has to work, and most don’t get the privilege of doing something they like or agree with entirely. There is a bit of time though where he’ll figure out their motives before he really trusts or likes them.

Law enforcement isn’t particularly in his good books either, but that is perhaps more linked to his view of how muggle police act towards protests and demonstrations.

When it comes to the issues of half-breeds, he’ll go along to the marches, he’ll sign the petitions, he’s probably up to date on all the latest views and opinions, but again, it’s not at the top of his priorities.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? You already know I love this roleplay. I’m looking forward to being more active hopefully, interacting with a wider range of characters, playing someone who is quite different to Fab as well and stretching those writing muscles.

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

I would love to see his pirate radio show have an effect somehow, either positive or negative (but maybe more positive at least at first, I’ve already done a lot of disappointing the Order with Fab).

I would love to see how his bloodstatus affects him. If he is genuinely more in danger for being a loud annoying muggleborn, it might be nice to work that into the larger plot somehow.

ANYTHING ELSE? I haven’t put whether he’s low level or mid level in the Order, I’m happy for either, wherever you think he’d fit best.

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST:

Maurice Creevey grew up in the midlands, part of a typical working class family. His mother was a housewife, and his father a Miner. The strikes and picket lines his father was a part of were some of his first experiences with activism, and the spark didn’t stop there. Maurice was rudely torn from his happy muggle life by the revelation he was a Wizard and the letter ‘inviting’ him to study at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. With no choice but to follow this path, Maurice has resented it ever since. He didn’t waste his time there by any means though. This was when he got his first taste for activism, protesting in the great hall and demonstrating in classes. These habits followed him faithfully into adulthood, developing until he found real urgent causes. At the top of his list, was tearing down the Statue of Secrecy that traps all muggle-borns in the wizarding world whilst an evil wizard and his cronies are attempting to pick them off one by one, and also prevents the muggles from fighting back on their own terms.

PRESENT:

It’s his activism that brought him to the attention of the Order. He is a good soldier for the Order, willing to do what has to be done and follow orders dutifully. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own intentions. Maurice works for the Wizarding Wireless Network, and a few nights a week he hosts his own pirate radio station. Sometimes his broadcasts can get hundreds or thousands of listeners, all scared but hopeful, wanting to hear what no-one else is telling them, the news the papers won’t print, the the stories the WWN won’t air. The Order value their secrecy, but Maurice knows information is power, and knowledge gives you a choice. He knows he can use his show to the Order’s advantage if only it’s given a chance.

FC CHOICES: top choice is Tom Sturridge, I’m not very good at fcs so if you don’t think he fits I’m happy to go with recommendations!

#homenumaccepted

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calleo-bricriu · 4 years

Text

Business as Usual.

(( This was some Discord RP and conversation with @directoryandle & Calleo that I decided to clean up months later.

Most of the RP that lead to it took place off of Tumblr as well but the gist of it comes down to:

1. Calleo did, as he usually does by virture of the kind of magic he works with, end up attracting attention he didn't want in the form of @absintheabsence ‘s Grindelwald.

2. He avoided most of it for the better part of a decade by either refusing to see anyone that was sent to try and convince him to go willingly using his, "Get on my calendar, which is packed full for the foreseeable future" deflection method, not answering owls, or occasionally answering the more interesting owls that might have come wrapped in complicated spell work with what can be most succinctly described as, "Thanks, that was fun! But, also, still not interested."

3. Eventually, the grandfather on his mother's side, who is an amazing person that helped design and at least begin execution of a couple of different genocide plans, was sent to talk to Calleo's mother who would then (it was assumed) talk to Calleo, which didn't work out well as she interpreted it as a threat toward her only kid and cut contact.

4. By that point, it was late 1939, and there was a shift in tactics requesting one of the Ministry's archivists visit for Perfectly Benign Work Related Reasons, nobody else in their right mind wanted to set foot anywhere near continental Europe, Calleo drew the short straw in the department, and was told to "just go and get it over with, they're not going to kill you."

5. They didn't kill him, but it was clearly one of those things that was planned out well enough that they'd been banking on the Department of Mysteries making Calleo go and he was pretty quickly snapped up and thrown into a cell in Nurmengard to sit for a few days while the building temporarily stripped him of the ability to use magic to make sure he couldn't fight back in a way that might have been dangerous to anyone.

6. And he was given two ultimatums by @absintheabsence after he decided he was done fucking Calleo up enough over the whole 10+ years of daring to not be super interested and eager to jump ship--and also over a lot of really terrible puns and Calleo still being more than happy to still run his mouth because if you’re probably going to die anyway you might as well:

#1. Stay, and everything will be nice or be let go and have everyone who might have meant anything to him be targeted in retribution for the rudeness of not being impressed enough to want to voluntarily stay. Possibly safe to say that Grindelwald had no concept of what the word "voluntarily" meant but, there you go.

AND

#2. Be a glorified, but typically caged, house pet more or less, or go back and spend the next however long it takes you to die down there sitting in one of the prisoner cells that keeps you from using magic and is staffed by people who have no business being in charge of other people.

He chose the "stay 'voluntarily' as a glorified house pet" option with the negotiated aspect of, "Fine, but you have to make it look like a kidnapping so I can go back to work at the Ministry later," (which was accepted because, of course, Grindelwald was of the opinion that there was no conceivable way he could lose the war) and spent the next five or so years confined to one of about three rooms in the Not Prison areas of Nurmengard.

By 1945, it was "later". Once occupying forces had both decided to check the towers to see if anyone was up there and verified he was who he said he was (which was, above all else, “property of the Department of Mysteries”; nobody typically wants to keep the Department of Mysteries from getting its stolen things back in a timely manner), got what amounted to, "Either go to his office and get my card deck and runes out of the top right drawer or let me go and get them, then I'm going back to London", got his two things back, and...went immediately back to work. ))

Calleo briefly paused after stepping out of the lift, mostly out of amazement that it was working properly and not broken down again; a quick glance at the magic still--not quite humming, but not exactly falling to pieces just yet--going around them told him they'd been recently propped back up in a way that clearly stated it hadn't been Maintenance's work.

Director must have done it at some point in the recent past.

The three offices directly off of the lift, Calleo noticed, were still empty and looked to have been empty since he'd left. Even before he'd left, they'd been empty since mid-1926. Trying to get the Director to either hire three new people or let him do it had been a losing, uphill battle as the Director's main focus had been keeping attention off of the Archvies due to the political climate and hiring anyone would have swiveled attention down that way.

He figured he'd find out just how far behind the department had fallen sooner rather than later as it'd likely be one of the first few things the Director would say to him.

He also wasn't about to stop in to the Director's office for a chat as chances were the answer the Director would have about how far behind the department was would have the word 'years' tacked on behind the number so Calleo opted for the same, deadpan, automatic, "'Morning, Director," he'd been using since 1912, kept walking, and settled back at his desk to figure out what (if anything) had been left just sitting there for the last five years and what was inexplicably newer.

Wouldn't have been the first time Director Yandle had either simply left old work there for Calleo or dropped something newer off, assuming he'd be in eventually.

Director Yandle heard the lift doors open and shut and didn't think all that much of it at first. People did still come down to the Archives, after all. Not often, but they did still come down now and again. For the most part, it was nearly always someone from Magical Law Enforcement wanting him to look up some tidbit of information here and there, but nothing that took too much of his time.

This morning, however, his routine of quiet was shattered by the old routine of anything but quiet starting up again.

If he'd been anyone else, Calleo might have had someone apparate directly into his office if only out of complete and utter surprise that he'd just--turned back up without any explanation after having been gone for half a decade without any explanation.

The Director had a better grip on himself and despite that being his first inclination, he instead finished the paperwork he'd been working on, sent it off, and very calmly stood and walked into Calleo's office, stopping directly in front of his Archivist's desk.

He gave Calleo a good minute to stop what he was doing and acknowledge that someone else was there and when that didn't happen, the Director laid his hands on the desk and leaned partway across it, and spoke.

"Where the HELL have you been?" That wasn't strictly what he'd meant to say, and he surprised himself with how venomous it came out. He had meant to ask where Calleo had been just...not quite that aggressively.

"Up a tower."

Calleo had noticed that Director Yandle had entered the room and that he was standing on the other side of the desk; he was also not necessarily in the mood for conversation, especially conversation liable to spin him off on an entire rant about where he'd been and what he'd been doing for the last few years.

While he hadn't been doing anything horrible or even questionable, and couldn't even say that it had been all that unpleasant. Still, it was something he'd done because non-compliance would have made everything markedly worse and it certainly wasn't something he wanted to chat with his department director about.

The noise Calleo received as a response could best be described as derisive disbelief with the repeating of what he'd just said confirming it. Up a tower indeed; what kind of answer was that? He'd been gone for years! The only things that might have spent years "up a tower" were bats and pigeons and Calleo was neither of those things as far as the Director was aware.

"You can't possibly expect me to believe you've spent five years in a tower somewhere! Why didn't you just leave?"

"The door was locked from the outside." Calleo shrugged matter-of-factly.

"And not one hundred percent of the time, no," the first part of his response was more a sigh than words, "but it was where I spent the majority of my time. In that regard, I do expect you to believe it."

"You ought to be grateful I know what year it is as anyone else walking into this office and looking at the papers on my desk might assume time stopped in--" Calleo paused briefly to leaf through the papers, "--early autumn of 1939, which I'm certain," he purposely did not miss smacking Director Yandle's hands with a rolled up copy of that morning's Daily Prophet, with the date showing the year to be 1945 facing up, "it did not."

"It's been five years. You've been gone for five years without a single word!" Director Yandle snatched his hands back after having them swatted, not at all under the impression that it had been done accidentally, and idly rubbed the back of one of them.

"Yes, and that's largely your fault, isn't it?" Calleo still hadn't looked up from what he was working on, a fact that both did not escape the Director and did nothing to de-escalate the building argument. Also not helping to de-escalate anything was the fact that Calleo's rhetorical question was spat back at Director Yandle with the same venom as the Director's initial greeting of Calleo contained.

"You are, after all, the one who decided granting that request was a good idea. If you'd had a bit more sense, you'd have ignored it the same way I ignored it for over a decade; I'll be expecting back pay, including weekends and holidays, as an aside," he continued as a long overdue piece of paperwork folded itself and flew out of the room to finally be delivered, "since I was technically sent 'on Ministry business' on your orders."

In an instant, the Director was on the other side of the desk and Calleo had found his chair (with him in it) whipped around to face the other Wizard. Calleo had managed to move his arms out of the way before Director Yandle could pin them against the chair arms when his own hands slammed down onto them and it didn't help matters at all that Calleo casually reached over one of the Director's arms to pick up the paperwork he'd been reading to continue reading it.

When his idiot subordinate didn't have the courtesy to put the paperwork down, Director Yandle snatched it out of his hands and threw it back onto the desk while, in the same motion, grabbing Calleo's jaw to force the other man to look at him.

It struck the Director that the look he initially received from Calleo reminded him more of a teenager annoyed at being lectured for having missed curfew than it did of a Wizard only a few months shy of sixty who had (allegedly) been what would have technically amounted to a prisoner of war at this point.

Still, Calleo didn't make any move to pull away and instead only slipped a hand up between himself and Director Yandle to remove his glasses, after which he simply sat there and waited for the Director to finish looking for whatever it was he was looking for in his mind.

"The next time one of these Dark Lords pops up, Calleo," slowly the grip he had on Calleo released, and he was now leaning on the chair arms again and passively watching, "do both of us a favour and just keep your head down."

"And how is it you imagined I survived this one?" Calleo's mostly neutral expression split into a sharp grin as Director Yandle drew back from the statement alone, allowing Calleo to turn back toward his desk and pick up the paperwork that had been rudely all but smacked from his hands a few minutes prior.

For what seemed much longer than only a few seconds, the Director stood there trying to decide whether or not he wanted to think too much about the answer to that question and eventually decided that he absolutely did not. He did, however, fish a book of matches with a particularly clever illustration of a cat and some pun he couldn't seem to fully recall offhand out of one of his pockets.

The book of matches he dropped directly in front of Calleo before Director Yandle turned to head back to his own office, "Light yourself back up and get to work; we're three years behind."

A few minutes later, through the thin wall separating his office from the Director's came muffled-by-a-layer-of-books-on-each-side, "Good morning to you as well."

#v: ftbawtft #hp rp #long post #stories #The stupid question of why didn't you leave got met with the equally stupid answer of the door was locked #Keep my head down? Director how exactly do you think I managed to not die and not be thrown into an actual prison cell?#BUT ALSO I WAS KEEPING MY HEAD DOWN UNTIL YOU MADE ME GO BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE CONFRONTATION #You can bet by the 70s Calleo was just not having any more of that dark lord nonsense #and anyone sent probably got to Hi I'm here on behalf of the Dark Lor--#before being cut off like a telemarketer with not interested don't call me again

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supertam87 · 6 years

Text

Real Talk With SuperTam

Several people have asked me to share the full text of the talk I gave at Harrison’s (SuperSon1) funeral. Dale shared an excerpt earlier today. I am happy that it has touched people and hopefully will open up some much needed dialog. Please remember that these are the words I spoke over my son’s coffin. They are sacred to me. We are a religious family. If there is something you don’t understand, I will explain without preaching to you or trying to convert you! I talk about mental illness and suicide. If that is a trigger for you, please beware.

Real Talk With SuperTam

My dear brothers and sisters – never before in my life have I understood so fully that we are all truly brothers and sisters. Your outpouring of love and support has overwhelmed us in the best way. Saying thank you and we love you and we are grateful seems too simple for all that has been done on our behalf this past 10 or so days. And yet truth is simple. The gospel is simple. What we have experienced is the gospel in its purest form. Thank you all for being here. I’d also like to thank our interpreters, Chip Royce and Jeff Born, who are friends of Dale as well as colleagues.

Harrison made it very clear that I needed to talk today and he was a little bit bossy about it. I’m one of the mouthy ones in Relief Society. You can pretty much count on the fact that either Janet Williams or I are going to say something – Janet’s comments are usually more profound, but we both usually say it like it is. Harrison asked me to say it like it is today. So, we are going to have what I’m calling Real Talk with SuperTam, (because that’s my nickname).

Harrison killed himself. Very few people want to say that. People don’t want to talk about it. People do want to talk about it but they don’t know how. It’s an unbearably painful topic. People keep telling Dale and myself that we are so brave to talk openly about what Harrison did. We never considered any other option. It didn’t feel brave to either one of us, just truthful. When a person dies of heart disease or cancer or pneumonia, we all grieve, but we don’t fear talking about why they died. Mental illness carries a heavy stigma in our society and I believe we share an obligation to have more productive and proactive conversations about a really scary and difficult topic. Mental illness is physical illness. It happens in the brain. Just like MS or Parkinson’s disease; it can be a chemical imbalance, a failure of synapses to connect properly, or an underdeveloped portion of the brain that limits its proper function. It is not different than any other illness. But it is sooo taboo. When the term ‘Mental Illness’ is mentioned, people think in extremes; severe debilitation, psychosis, the inability to work or leave the house, erratic behavior, frightening delusions – scary, scary words, yet mental illness usually doesn’t look like that. Its depression – from mild to severe, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, Anorexia, Post Partum Depression, Autism Spectrum – it can be an illness or a disorder or a dysfunction. Everyone in this room knows someone who deals with a mental illness every single day. It is often silent and very subversive, and people can feel isolated or hopeless.

Nearly every single person that I talked to, or Dale, or my parents or in-laws or our friends knows someone who has had suicide effect their family. The heartbreaking thing is that suicide is on the rise amongst our youth. Our children are dying and we are afraid to talk about it because it is uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable for me to stand here today and talk about it. But I am willing to open the conversation. I am willing to answer questions. I will listen to fears and pains, and I will try to offer comfort. I know I’m not the only one willing to do this, but I think one of the problems we collectively suffer from is fear.

Dale and I always try to teach our kids that the devil dwells in darkness and the gospel spreads light. So they should base their decisions on whether or not they have to hide what they do in darkness or if they can do it openly in the light. This is a good foundation for teaching decision-making. However, people often hide in darkness. Not because they are dark themselves, but because they are afraid. We need to learn how to recognize people who are hiding. We must practice seeing what people in pain look like. We need to commit to ourselves that we will be the person. The one who offers succor, in whatever form that takes. We need to ask questions and develop relationships that allow people to open up and be unafraid. The prophet has given us this opportunity by renaming and revamping our visiting and teaching systems to a system of Ministering. It is not just a name change. The prophet is asking us to reevaluate how we see people. He is asking us to change how we interact with people. He is asking us to make people our priority. My very first visiting teacher is here today. She was there when Harrison was born and she is still ministering to me today. It is not a coincidence that this program was reworked at a time when mental illness is on an extreme rise and suicide rates are skyrocketing. The Lord is asking us to be is hands and help his children. We need to seek the one, and we also need to be the one. Be the one who looks. Be the one who asks. Be the one who sees. We have the power to heal.

Our family has been terribly, irrevocably wounded and changed. We are in agony. But we are being ministered to, every second of every day. Because of that, we are already beginning to heal. We have a long road ahead and we accept that, because we do not walk that road alone. The Savior walks that road with us. And so do every single one of you every time you do something that is motivated by love. The road that we walk, the same road you walk, is the path of the gospel. It guides us towards our Father in Heaven.

Harrison walked that road. He learned many, many lessons along the way. Harrison taught me about this road we walk, this path towards our Father, and our ability to partake of our Savior’s sacred atonement in his homecoming talk from August of 2016. I’m going to read part of that talk to you, because I love Harrison’s words, and this is a lesson he learned, internalized and taught to the people he was asked to minister to. And then he came home and taught it to us.

In this talk he taught the Parable Of The Laundry. This is a significantly condensed version of his talk, but I will post it in full later. He explained that before his mission, mom pretty much took care of his laundry. I gave him serious side eye on that one. He said that in the MTC, he was fully responsible for his own laundry, but he could throw his clothes in the washer and then move on to something else. When he arrive in the Philippines, he said, “In the Philippines we wash clothes by hand, and that is a little bit more of an involved process than ‘toss it in the washer with some detergent and move on to something else. I would like to describe the art of hand washing in five easy steps. They sound easy, at least. 1) Initial Rinse 2) Detergent Soak 3) the scrub 4) Final Rinse 5) Hang dry”

He described specifically the process of washing white shirts. He said of the Initial Rinse, “Slosh the clothes around in the water until all the loose dirt is out. The water will change colors as you do this, from the pale yellow of sweaty garments, to the grey cement color of over-worn socks.” Ew. Sorry for that mental image. Of the Detergent Rinse he said, “Mix until the soapy water is frothy and then re-add your rinsed clothing. Stir lightly and leave to soak for thirty minutes. Of The Scrub he said, “After the 30 minute rinse, select your scrub weapon. These range from the novice brush to the professional bare hand. Each shirt should take 5 to 10 minutes. Of the Final Rinse he said, “This is a little bit of a misnomer as it actually takes a series of 3-5 rinses…until the clothing no longer produces soap bubbles. The more soap you leave in your clothes, the itchier it will be to wear them and the dirtier they will get in the coming week, as soap attracts dirt.” Finally, “The Hang Dry. As you place each item of clothing on a hanger, smooth out any visible wrinkles. Hang in a place that A) has good air flow, B) has good sun but not direct sunlight, and C) is sheltered from the rain. In perfect conditions described above, it only takes three hours to dry your clothes. Conditions in the Philippines are never perfect and rain (a constant threat) was the worst, bringing dirt and pollution out of the air and onto your freshly cleaned clothes. White shirts will proclaim those spots, and it is time to wash again. If, due to weather, your clothes took too long to dry, they would sour, and it would be time to wash them again.” Harrison goes on to call this an “involved and grueling process that takes several hours to complete.”

He then makes the obvious analogy to the atonement, and read several important scriptures. He said, “The Atonement is the process we each must individually follow to wash ourselves of all iniquity and sin, prerequisite to entering the Kingdom of God and His Glory. Before my mission I thought in washing machine terms. Toss the garments that need to be cleansed of sin, add an appropriate amount of repentance, kick on the Atonement Machine and go do something else until you find yourself cleansed from sin. I learned that the Atonement requires much more effort than a washing machine, and the process has more in common with hand washing. Let me explain in this way: Our faith in Jesus Christ is the first step on our path of becoming eternally clean…Repentance is our detergent soak of the soul…Baptism is the opportunity we have to clean up the stains we have soaked, scrubbing them away in a symbol of the death of the old life of sin and the rebirth of a life in Christ…Receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost is the counterpart rinse to the cleansing of Baptism…Enduring to the end is the final step in the process, akin to hanging clothes out to dry. In perfect conditions, enduring to the end would be a lovely three-hour sunbath to clean, dry perfection. However, this life is a test, and conditions will never be perfect. Satan has the power to tempt us, and his temptation, like polluted rain, will stain our freshly washed souls. Even the day-to-day wear will bring more stains upon us. Hence, enduring to the end is not a static process, where we hang our garments in a hermetically sealed closet, never to be worn again. Rather, enduring to the end is the active process of keeping our garments clean as long as possible in Satan’s imperfect conditions, and washing them as they become stained and soiled. The repentance process is not the back-up plan for when our garments become unclean. Repentance IS the plan. If, at the end of our mortal lives, we have strived to keep our garments clean in the fallen world, through the process of the Atonement, then will we return to the Kingdom of our Father.”

Harrison understood, accepted and lived within the Atonement of Christ. He taught me in this one talk things about the Atonement I hadn’t really understood before – maybe because he was speaking my language because what mom doesn’t know the language of laundry? He was walking the road with us, doing his best, washing and rewashing his shirts when they got dirty. He did kill himself, but he also died because he suffered from an illness. We do not need to be ashamed of that or hide that fact. Harrison made a choice I wish he had not. He took an action he can’t take back. I know he would if he could. I know he didn’t mean to do this. But we are the ones who are left with the results of his actions. What do we do with that? Do we live within the atonement of Christ? Do we refuse to let fear keep us from speaking when speaking is necessary? Do we reach out, see a person, offer love and provide acceptance? Do we hide in the darkness, or do we shine in the light? I know what Harrison would have us do, and I know what the Lord would have us do.

Harrison, I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.

#mental health #mental disorder #mental illness #suicide #gun violence #personal

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brotherfaithsisterdoubt · 6 years

Text

Extended Scene – Ch. 23, Bible Study

This is bonus content for the Supernatural fanfic Polish Prayers by DestielHisEyesOpened

Word count: 2,717

Notes:

The content of this Bible study comes from a mixture of sources. One was a workshop at the real “St. Chuck's” in August, 2012, on the topic “Are Science and Faith Compatible?” One was a Bible introduction at the real “St. Chuck's” in July, 2015. Another source is the book The Case for God by Karen Armstrong (terrible title, wonderful book). And finally, this and other assorted theological parts of the fic include content from seminary classes I've taken.

“Okay, I think we are all here now,” said the brother sitting in the room's one and only chair. “For those who do not know me, I am Brother Arnaud. Welcome to our auxiliaire Bible study.” He pulled out a stack of grey papers and gave it to the boy on his right. “I'm passing around today's Bible passage in English, but if you brought a Bible in your own language, feel free to read that instead.” Dean took a sheet and handed the rest to Castiel. He felt a small pang of disappointment when Cas's hand didn't brush against his as he accepted the stack.

“Okay,” said Brother Arnaud when the papers had made it all the way around the room. “I'll give you a moment to look the passage over, and then why don't we read it aloud.”

Dean realized he'd been staring at Cas's hand, and quickly directed his attention to the paper in his own hand. He suppressed a groan. It contained a surprisingly long passage, Genesis 1:1-2:3, the entire first chapter of the Bible with a few additional verses tacked on at the end.

Brother Arnaud turned to Jo, who was sitting on his left. “Why don't you start us off?”

“In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth…” began Jo.

The reading went around the circle until they reached the last verse. “So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it,” read a boy, “because on it God rested from all the work that he had done in creation.”

“Excellent,” said Brother Arnaud. “So, how do we approach this text? What presuppositions do we bring to it? We can bring literalism, and reject any scientific theories which contradict a literal reading. Now this is ridiculous, of course.”

“That's what some people think,” Dean heard the girl next to him mutter.

Brother Arnaud continued, presumably not having heard this commentary on his lesson. “'Days' were not even created until day four, so obviously it cannot be literal. That’s just absurd. This literal approach didn't become popular until well into the modern era. Before that, Christians and Jews alike understood that the sacred texts demand constant reinterpretation.

“So literalism is out. What about concordism? That is the attempt to make science and the Biblical text agree with each other. People can get rather creative with this, but ultimately, there are just too many discrepancies.

“The third option, which we are left with, is to recognize that the Bible is a book of faith, not a book of science. We need to accept the text as it is, which means understanding its context and its genre.

“So, what is the genre of the passage we just read? The next two chapters provide an alternate account of the creation, as a narrative story, but this first chapter of Genesis is a liturgical hymn, a poem, a confession of faith. Now, who was here at our last Bible study, two weeks ago, and can tell me what 'faith' or 'belief' means?”

A couple of hands went up, and Brother Arnaud pointed to one of the girls Dean vaguely remembered from music night. “Yes, Anna,” he said.

“'I give my heart,'” said Anna.

“Precisely,” replied Brother Arnaud. “To recap, these terms originally meant 'loyalty,' 'trust,' 'commitment.' The notion that they mean intellectual assent to a particular claim or doctrine didn't come about until the nineteenth century. So when we say that we take this creation story seriously as a confession of faith, that doesn't have to mean we accept it as fact. It means we express trust and commitment to the truths this text embodies.

“Now part of how we know this passage is a poem of sorts is because it's a highly structured text. You may have been wondering about the odd spacing of the verses on your hand-outs, and there's a reason for that. The first two verses set the scene. From there, the first column – verses 3-13 – tell of the formation of spaces in a particular order. Then the second column – verses 14-31 – tell of these spaces being filled with inhabitants, in the same order.

“First, the formation of light and dark on the first day, which are later populated with the sun and the moon on the fourth day. Next, the formation of the sky and the sea on the second day, which are populated with birds and sea creatures on the fifth day. Likewise, dry land (along with vegetation) is formed on the third day, and then populated with land animals on the sixth day. On the sixth day as well, humanity is formed to exercise dominion over everything that came before. And then of course, on the seventh day, God rests.

“Some religious scholars in history have argued that the universe only functions because God directly causes every single little thing that happens, and everything would fall apart instantly if he stopped. But to say that God rests is to recognize that however exactly the universe began, there are now consistent, reliable laws in place to govern it. Gravity keeps the planets in their orbits, for example. Nuclear fusion keeps the sun shining, and a great number of chemical reactions keep our bodies functioning.

“So this account is not written as history, but as a poem which explores the nature of creation. The question it addresses is not 'how did everything come to be,' but 'why' and 'what does it mean.'

“As for the historical context in which this chapter was written, who can tell me what was one of the major formative events the Israelites faced?”

Another girl put her hand up. “The Exodus,” she said.

“Well, you're right about that,” said Brother Arnaud. “That is the defining event in the history of the Jewish people. I'm thinking of something that took place a while later, though.”

“The Babylonian exile.”

“Very good – and your name is?”

“Castiel,” said Cas.

“Very good, Castiel,” said Brother Arnaud. “This version of the creation story was first developed during the Babylonian exile, when King Nebuchadnezzar exiled the Jewish people from the land of Judah, most notably including the city of Jerusalem. It was a period of deep questioning for the exiles. They'd lost everything – their country, their Temple, their king. It was the end of David's and Solomon's kingdom. They wondered, 'Has God left us?' So this story, while of course it has great value for us today, was first and foremost recorded to serve the needs of this community. For example, they no longer had the Temple, the space set apart for God. So the Sabbath, the time set apart for God, took on greater significance. And in the text's symbolic 'days,' God's work is told within the framework of the Jewish week, with six days of work and one day of rest.

“Now, according to the 'rules' of the ancient world, the Babylonian god – Marduk – had defeated the Israelites' god. But what was one of the Israelites' major theological innovations? Someone else who was here last time?”

Ezekiel, the other boy from Field Hospitality, raised his hand. “A God who's tied to his people, rather than the land, and travels with them.”

“Excellent, Ezekiel,” said Brother Arnaud. “So the Jewish community didn't just give up their God and start worshiping the gods of whatever land they found themselves in, as would have been expected. They stuck with their God, and sought to understand what this new development in their lives meant for their relationship with that God.

“While in Babylon, they would have seen the annual celebration of Marduk, the Babylonian creator god, and heard the recitation of the Enuma Elish, their creation story. In this story, as in many creation stories, there is a violent conflict between gods. The world as we know it is the leftover rubble from a great battle. Earlier Israelite creation stories, ones that pre-date the text we're reading today, similarly involved God slaying sea monsters. This is even alluded to by the prophet Isaiah. And that's what the first audience to hear this creation story would have expected.

“But in this new creation story, creation is fundamentally good. It's not dragged into existence across the corpses of slain gods, but simply spoken into being. Creation is a gift given to us, not refuse and detritus that we merely live amidst. And God calls everything good, and blesses everything. Imagine telling that to a community who was angry at the Babylonians, and with good reason, that God has called everything good, including the Babylonians, and has blessed them! So here, we start to see another side of this story – it informs us of how God is, which has implications for how we are to be too.

“We'll get back to that in a moment, but first let's unpack some of the symbolism within this story. We already saw how the seven 'days' mirror the Jewish week. Now let's look at how many times God 'says' something. I'll give you a moment to look over the passage and count.”

There was a rifling of papers, before scattered voices started calling out:

“Eight!”

“Nine!”

“Ten!”

“Nine!”

“Who said 'ten'?” Brother Arnaud asked. A hand went up. “You are correct,” he said. “God 'says' something ten times. This is reminiscent of the Ten Commandments. In the creation story, God uses ten statements to put order into the world. In the Commandments, God uses ten statements to put order into human life.

“Now, who can tell me what was in the center of a temple in the ancient world?”

There was a little murmuring, and a few hands went up.

“Yes, you – what's your name?” said Brother Arnaud.

“Tessa,” said the young woman. “Um, a statue?”

“Yes, Tessa. An image of the god for whom the temple was built. Now this was not the case in the Jewish Temple, of course, because of the ban on making graven images. The Israelites would have been familiar with this pagan practice, but if they weren't making images of God in temples, where did they see the image of God? I'll give you a hint – it's mentioned in this passage. Yes, Hannah?”

“In human beings – the image and likeness of God.”

“Precisely! In the temple of creation, human beings are the image of God.

“Remember I said we'd come back to how the story tells us how to behave? Well that comes up again in this next symbol. Who noticed the three things that God blesses?”

There was more rifling of papers, before Kevin spoke up. “Birds and sea animals… Adam and Eve… and the sabbath!”

“Excellent…” Brother Arnaud waited for Kevin to provide his name.

“Kevin.”

“Excellent, Kevin. Life, humanity, and the seventh day. (Be careful though – in this story, the humans aren't named. Adam and Eve are in the second creation story, from the next two chapters.) These three blessings correlate with three responsibilities: our ecological responsibility to the other life on this planet; our ethical responsibility to our fellow human beings; and our liturgical responsibility to God, to celebrate God and creation.

“So we see, the creation story was not written to describe events in the distant past, but to help us understand important things about the present. 'God is the Creator' is a confession of faith – of trust and commitment – not an explanation of the mechanism of how everything came to be.

“A question we've been dancing around here is: are faith and science compatible? I think you can guess by now that my answer is 'yes'! But let's a little deeper, to see why. This question really asks something slightly different: What's the truth? Science or religion? But that's a false premise – it doesn't have to be just one or the other. Truth exists within a reference frame, and depends on the language register in which it's expressed. And there are many language registers: literary, legal, philosophical, poetic, humorous, scientific, theological… But this is very abstract, so let's look at a couple of analogies.

Brother Arnaud took a gold ring off his finger and held it up. “What is this?”

There was a brief pause while everyone tried to figure out the catch, before they started answering.

“A ring.”

“A wedding ring.”

“The ring from your vows.”

Brother Arnaud spoke up again. “I'm hearing a lot of true answers. But what if I simply said, 'this is a circle of metal.' Is that also true?”

The group murmured their agreement.

“So from a scientific standpoint, I might say that this is a circle of metal. I could elaborate on the metallic composition, the weight, the density… But from a sociological standpoint, I would say something more like, it's a symbol of my commitment, a symbol of my relationship with God and with my brothers here in the Community of St. Charles. Now, which answer is more 'true'?

“I'll give another example. A boy gives a girl a rose, and says 'I love you.' The girl accepts the rose, says 'Thank you for that information,' and puts the rose under a microscope.”

There were scattered chuckles from the group.

“Now what has happened here? There has been a mismatch of language register. The boy is speaking about human emotion, but the girl is speaking about rational investigation. Which one of them is 'right'? Well, both of them are perfectly valid ways to interact with a rose. But they are not on the same page about which way they're currently interacting. And even within science, language register matters. For instance, the language of mathematics is appropriate for physics. For biology, it is still useful of course, but not nearly as central.

“Science is an incredible tool for representing reality. For that purpose, nothing else comes close. But it's not as useful for answering questions of 'why,' of meaning. For that, we turn to art, poetry, religion. I can say, without any hesitation, that the creation story we've been discussing is true. I can also honestly say that the sciences including cosmology, geology, and evolution are true. Because when I make those statements, I'm speaking in different registers, both of which are indispensable components of how I understand the world and my place within it.”

Dean took a stealthy glance at the young woman sitting next to him. She was holding her copy of the hand-out so tightly that the edges had crumpled in her hands. Dean had to suppress a smirk.

“So, I hope this has given you all something to think about. It can be a lot to digest, I know! So let us end with a prayer, yes?”

Dean saw nearly everyone bow their head.

“Heavenly Father,” Brother Arnaud began, “we thank you for the wondrous truths contained in your Word. And we thank you for the many ways you have given us to understand the world, and ourselves. Help us to be responsible stewards of your creation, loving brothers and sisters to each other, and faithful servants to you. Grant that we may grow in wisdom of both the head and the heart, and never stop seeking truth in all its forms. In the name of your Son we pray, Amen.”

A wave of “Amens” rippled throughout the room, followed by a great shuffling of feet as people stood up and got ready to head back to their respective houses for supper.

Dean noticed Castiel still sitting on the floor. He was resting with his elbows on his knees and his chin on his interlocked fingers, and had a serious expression on his face. Dean paused for a moment, then extended a hand to help Cas up. Cas looked up at Dean and blinked, as if coming out of a trance. He hesitated for a second, looking into Dean's eyes, then took the outstretched hand and climbed to his feet. They walked out of the building together.

#progressive christianity #polish prayers #original content

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woodworkingpastor · 3 years

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When up is down and down is up -- Luke 4:14-30 -- Sunday, January 17, 2021

Who is Jesus?

Welcome to sermon number 5 of 21 from Luke and Acts. As I’ve noted in recent weeks, we are spending the winter and much of the spring walking through Luke’s “orderly account” of the events in Jesus’ life and the subsequent growth and expansion of the church.

Gathering on both Zoom and YouTube might not lend itself to having your Bible nearby, but I hope you’ll get in the habit of doing that, even as we print the Scripture in the bulletin each Sunday. If you take a moment and scan through Luke’s Gospel, you might see how the stories that come before the one we have for today (Luke chapters 1-3) are focused on Jesus’ identity. Who is Jesus? Where did he come from? Luke goes to great length to not only clarify Jesus’ identity as the Son of God who came as the Messiah but also to demonstrate that his life was validated by the presence of the Holy Spirit, confirming him as the Son of God.

Beginning with chapter 4, we move into a section where Luke focuses on Jesus’ vocation. What does Jesus intend to accomplish? What is the purpose of his mission? This is the section where Jesus starts to make waves, because God’s grace will not be limited to a certain group of people.

There have been clues that this is how things would be; hidden in plain sight among all the nativity stories, Luke has been preparing us for texts like this one. Do you remember Mary’s song, the Magnificat? She hints at this “upside-down kingdom” by telling us that God

“has brought down the powerful from their thrones and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty” (Luke 1:52-53).

Or how about Simeon in the Temple, meeting Jesus for the first time:

“for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel” (Luke 2:30-32).

Jesus challenges everyone’s assumptions. We are used to him challenging the assumptions of sinners by calling them to repentance. But Jesus challenges the religious folk as well, opening their minds to the range of grace.

Who are we?

As we approach today’s Scripture—as well as the ones that will follow in Luke—we might prepare ourselves by holding a couple of questions in mind:

Do we want a Gospel that offers no challenge for us? Not a generic challenge, but a specific challenge. When we hear the Gospel read, does it offend us because there remain places in our lives that we have not yet yielded to Jesus? Does the prayer ‘I have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, in what I have done, and in what I have left undone’ touch you, and move you from guilt to repentance?

Or more to the point of this morning’s passage, if given the opportunity, would I want to get rid of Jesus?

Getting above your raisin’

We meet Jesus in his hometown in this text. He’s been preaching in the area around Nazareth and has developed quite the reputation. It seems that the hometown boy has done well, and the people who knew him are pleased. So when Jesus goes to the synagogue, they ask him to read the text. They want to hear him. They expect to be proud.

But it can be hard to go home sometimes. If you were raised in a small town, I think in your mind the small town should never change, and I suspect that people think you should never change, either. We tend to have these pictures that are frozen in time about how things and people should be.

What happened in the synagogue that day was very different from what people expected to happen, and things got out of hand really fast. The first thing that Jesus does is edit Isaiah’s message from Isaiah 61:1-2. Take the text of Luke 4 that we included in the bulletin this morning and find verses 18-19. Follow along there while I read Isaiah 61:1-2:

The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God;

Did you notice the difference? You ran out of words, but I kept reading! Jesus stops reading before Isaiah was finished; he edits the text and then says,

Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing (Luke 4:21).

Now let’s be clear about something: Jesus can do that, because he is God. We cannot do that, because we are not God. We have to take the text as it comes to us. But both in leaving out part of Isaiah’s message and in his self-identification with the fulfillment of the text, Jesus is making a point:

God is not going to do things the way we think they should be done.

Vengeance—at least as we understand vengeance—will not be part of the plan.

Well, if Jesus had just stopped there and sat down, things would probably have blown over. People may have been a bit confused; they might have wondered what had gotten into Jesus, but everybody would have moved on. But Jesus didn’t sit down, he started telling some more Bible stories. He told the story about Elijah, whom God called to serve in a very difficult time when there were lots of hungry people in Israel—God’s special people were hungry. Elijah didn’t serve any of them. Elijah took God’s blessing and left Israel and went to a foreign country—God’s enemies, so we’re led to think—and blessed a widow.

Jesus then told a story about Elisha—Elijah’s successor—who served in a time when many people in Israel suffered from infectious skin diseases. But Elisha didn’t heal all of them; instead, he healed Naaman, a general in the army of the king of Aram, who learned of the possibilities of God’s healing grace through an Israeli slave girl that had been taken captive in battle. He is the one who is healed.

Can you see why the people got angry?

Jesus reads a popular passage of Scripture but leaves out the part about vengeance against enemies.

Jesus then illustrates his point with stories of two of Israel’s greatest prophets showing grace to enemies.

Not vengeance—grace!

The scene reveals something that if we’re honest (which is often questionable) we want to decide who receives God’s grace and we want to decide who receives God’s vengeance. But Jesus isn’t having it. If we are going to accept Jesus, we will have to give up the notion that we know who deserves blessing and who deserves punishment. We do not get to determine the scope of God’s grace.

Brian Zhand, pastor of Word of Life Church in St. Joseph’s, MO, says it this way:

We must constantly resist the temptation to cast ourselves in the role of those who deserve mercy, while casting those outside our tribe in the role of those who deserve vengeance. Jesus will have no part of that kind of ugly tribalism and triumphalism. Clinging to our lust for vengeance, we lose Jesus. But if we can say “Amen” to Jesus closing the book on vengeance, then Jesus will remain with us to teach us the more excellent way of love (https://brianzahnd.com/2016/01/closing-the-book-on-vengeance/).

The people, however, don’t want to do that, and they quickly transform from a congregation to a mob. They turn on Jesus in a heartbeat because he has betrayed their tribe. But mobs can’t think, and they cannot be Christian. All mobs can do is find someone to be their scapegoat and act to remove that person from their presence. In the madness that consumes them, this mob of good church-folk (we might say) actually attempts to do to Jesus now what a different crowd will do to Jesus on Good Friday—have him killed. If you would have asked them, the people in the mob would have certainly described themselves as standing up for what is right. But they were so terribly wrong.

How do we respond?

We are surrounded by mobs these days. So much of social media is little more than a mob designed to inflame our tribal passions, with only the thinnest veneer of decency or fairness about them. And the news over the past year has been filled with more stories of mobs than we could ever have dreamed possible. But mobs are not interested in grace; they are interested in vengeance, and in this text Jesus has taken that option away from us. Instead, he has given us these Old Testament stories to try to have us slow down and think.

Perhaps a helpful thing we can do is stop and think about those things that make us “snort” morally, so that the next time we get fired up and find ourselves slipping into mob mentality, we might instead catch ourselves, remember that God’s grace has been extended to all persons, and realize that we might be the ones who are most in need of that grace.

If we don’t, we might find ourselves ones trying to get rid of Jesus.

Prayer

Most merciful God,

We confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed,

by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.

We have not loved you with our whole heart;

we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.

We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.

For the sake of your son Jesus Christ,

have mercy on us and forgive us;

that we may delight in your will and walk in your ways

to the glory of your name

Amen.

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frederickwiddowson · 4 years

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The Acts of the Apostles, the history of the early church, by Luke the physician - Acts 2:37-41 comments : God adds thousands to the early church

Acts 2:37 ¶ Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? 38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. 39 For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. 40 And with many other words did he testify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation. 41 Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.

Notice the Jews here asked a similar question to the Philippian jailor.

Acts 16:30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?

Notice how this baptism is connected with repentance for rejecting their Messiah, which the leaders of the Jews and the people that followed their instructions did. The statement here is made after Peter identifies who Jesus is and what the Jews had done to Him.

First, what does it mean to repent? The words repent and repentance don’t just carry with them an intellectual assent to something like just changing your mind. They involve a turning from something like sin or an action you were purposed to do.

Exodus 32:12 Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.

Jeremiah 4:28 For this shall the earth mourn, and the heavens above be black: because I have spoken it, I have purposed it, and will not repent, neither will I turn back from it.

Jeremiah 18:8 If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them.

Jeremiah 26:3 If so be they will hearken, and turn every man from his evil way, that I may repent me of the evil, which I purpose to do unto them because of the evil of their doings.

Ezekiel 14:6 Therefore say unto the house of Israel, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Repent, and turn yourselves from your idols; and turn away your faces from all your abominations.

Ezekiel 18:30 Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord GOD. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin.

Jonah 3:9 Who can tell if God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not?

Repenting is also an inward action, an act of the mind or spirit, with this baptism as the outward and immediate expression acknowledging the change. Repentance also implies belief as you repent from sin and turn to God. Sin is downplayed in today’s Christianity so repentance from it usually receives short shrift except in the most fundamental of churches. Consider these verses;

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

So, if sin before we are saved and after we are saved is not an issue then what do you think about these verses, if we are just to admit we sin like we admit we chew gum and move on? And why did Christ trouble Himself to die on the Cross?

1Corinthians 15:3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;

In the so-called Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, the spiritual counterpart to the very earthy Sermon on the Plain in Luke, Jesus made a very important point in saying that it was more important that you reconcile to a brother who had something against you first than to offer something to God. In Matthew 5 He made a spiritual application for mourning as in regard to contextually mourning for sin’s very existence and hungering for God’s righteousness.

I realize preachers have taken this too far. The most stunning example is Charles G. Finney’s insistence that if you weren’t trying to make up for all of your past sins to the people you had wronged then you probably aren’t saved, which is foolish. But modern preachers not preaching against sin is just as foolish, if not moreso.

You cannot simply dismiss sin and your sin nature as a bad rash and forget it. We need to deal with our sin, or, more importantly to have Christ deal with it.

1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Have you mourned for your sin? Do you weep even now over what you feel so helpless to overcome? Haven’t some of you ruined your families? Haven’t some of you wasted your youth on alcohol and promiscuous sex, looking for love and acceptance, a replacement for your father or mother, pursued money and found bankruptcy, messed up your kids? Do you feel nothing? Has someone gotten you to believe that everything is just peachy? David was forgiven but he suffered terribly for his sin, in his family. Don’t you mourn?

I know that there are verses about salvation that don’t mention repentance like Romans 10:9, 10 or Acts 16:31 but we need to look at all of the verses on a topic before we formulate a doctrine in our head. Repentance from sin, from what you are, a sinner, repudiating your sin and turning it over to Christ, trusting His righteousness and not your own is basic to Bible salvation. You won’t come to the point of receiving Christ if you don’t realize you are spiritually bankrupt without God.

Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Isaiah 66:2 For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word. [contrite is a feeling of remorse, based on guilt]

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

The result of repentance and faith is the receiving of the Holy Ghost who indwells the believer, the Spirit of God and Christ, also called the Holy Spirit in its active state with the Holy Ghost being His person.

First, for a reference to John the Baptist’s call to repentance from sin for the Jews to prepare them to receive their Messiah.

Matthew 3:1 ¶ In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea, 2 And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. 3 For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Esaias, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. 4 And the same John had his raiment of camel’s hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey. 5 Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan, 6 And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

And now a call from Peter to repent of the official rejection of the Messiah and what they did to Him.

38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Then, an important point is made that underscores the argument that while salvation is free to all men and that the Lord would have all men to be saved it is only going to happen to those He calls, who are the ones that He knows will receive Him, rejecting in advance those He knows will reject Him. This is different than traditional Calvinism that says that He made many souls who were created for the express purpose of damning them, that salvation was not an option for them.

Verse 39 mentions to all that are afar off. Here is an important cross-reference and a key to interpretation.

Ephesians 2:11 ¶ Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands; 12 That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world: 13 But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.

First, the principle that it is God’s will, His desire that all people be saved;

1Timothy 2:4 Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

But, God knows who will receive Him by His foreknowledge of all events in space-time, including thoughts of the mind and intents of the heart. God calls people He already knows will believe Him.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29 ¶ For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

Verses 29-30 in Romans 8 defines why those in verse 28 are called, because God knew. This foreknowledge extends backwards to before the universe was created. We were chosen in Him, to be holy and without blame, because we will trust in His righteousness and not our own to be saved.

Ephesians 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

So, the reference to God’s calling in Acts is further explained by Paul as God calling those He foreknew would receive Him, not saying that He created specific people to be condemned. Some will still say this is still unfair but in an eternal view of things we all will know that even the most awful of people had a choice. That they did not make the right choice and that God knew they wouldn’t does not put guilt on Him. It put guilt on mankind rebelling against their Creator. We all make a choice. Free will is a Bible doctrine.

Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

God, not a leather-lunged, wily pulpiteer using clever words, guilt because you won’t see your mama again if you don’t get saved, or group pressure in a so-called revival meeting, added 3,000 actually saved people to their number at this time. These were not people who repeated a formula 1-2-3 repeat-after-me prayer, you know, the A-B-C Admit you are a sinner, Believe on Christ, and then Confess your belief to the preacher and the congregation but people whose hearts were changed by God, their Creator, as a consequence of their belief. One can only imagine those who heard and walked away.

Romans 3:21 But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets; 22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: 23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; 24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: 25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; 26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

Notice here how baptism is used as an entry point to fellowship as part of the church. Typically, Baptists use baptism like this, as a public statement of belief and as the public expression of entry into the body of Christ, something that occurred sometimes months earlier when a recognition of the truth turned a person’s heart to God through Christ. No one gets saved when they get baptized like no one realizes they love someone at the marriage altar. That commitment is made long before the ceremony, if it is true.

There will be variations in the order of baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost that takes place when one believes. The error of modernism is to read the Bible like a textbook or the owner’s manual to your car. It is more like a conversation between your Creator and yourself in your response to it. The following line means these things happen when you believe. They are not 1-2-3 like the instructions on the settings guide for your cellphone.

38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

These are not necessarily linear events like the Jews had to be baptized before they received the Holy Ghost. This, like in eternity, is everything as now, taking place when one is saved. As a similar statement see in Revelation;

Revelation 11:18 And the nations were angry, and thy wrath is come, and the time of the dead, that they should be judged, and that thou shouldest give reward unto thy servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear thy name, small and great; and shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth.

That was a general statement of events happening in the time frame covered by what was to come after this point. This does not by necessity represent an order of events.

The Jews present responded to Peter’s sermon were baptized and received the Holy Ghost but was this a presentation of a strict order of events making their salvation different from Gentile salvation?

See the order presented here in the text. First, with Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch there is no mention of receiving the Holy Ghost but it is assumed.

Acts 8:26 ¶ And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. 27 And he arose

and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, 28 Was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet. 29 Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot. 30 And Philip ran thither to him, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest? 31 And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him. 32 The place of the scripture which he read was this, He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth: 33 In his humiliation his judgment was taken away: and who shall declare his generation? for his life is taken from the earth. 34 And the eunuch answered Philip, and said, I pray thee, of whom speaketh the prophet this? of himself, or of some other man? 35 Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. 36 And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? 37 And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. 38 And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. 39 And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing. 40 But Philip was found at Azotus: and passing through he preached in all the cities, till he came to Caesarea.

Then, with the Roman centurion and company and Peter where it is implied that they believed what they heard and then they received the Holy Ghost and are then baptized.

Acts 10:44 ¶ While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. 45 And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came

with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. 46 For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God. Then answered Peter, 47 Can any man forbid water, that these should not be baptized, which have received the Holy Ghost as well as we? 48 And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord.

Then prayed they him to tarry certain days.

Now, do you honestly think that each of these situations were different in that in one instance you are baptized then you receive the Holy Ghost after that and yet in another you get baptized because you believe and it is implied that you received the Holy Ghost upon belief and in another instance you believe and receive the Holy Ghost and then are baptized? How many dispensations do you want to create? Christians often don’t have a problem with belief. They have a problem with reading comprehension. This is a lot like those people who believe Noah walked off the Ark with a white son, a black son, and an Asian son when it nowhere says that but they read back into the text what they want to believe.

Earlier in Acts 8 you will have people believing and being baptized but not receiving the Holy Ghost until Peter and John lay hands on them. In Acts 16 Lydia believes and is baptized but no mention is made of the Holy Ghost. In the same chapter the jailor believes and is baptized and no mention is made of the Holy Ghost. In Acts 9 it is implied that Paul believed and then he received the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands. In Acts 22 he relates that he was baptized after that. Again, if you are going to read the Bible like a textbook how many dispensations do you want to create?

When you get saved it is because you believed, were given faith, and received the Holy Ghost. At some point, to fulfill all righteousness as Jesus said, you should get baptized as an outward manifestation of your inward change and faith.

In any event Jesus Himself puts the focus on your belief, not your baptism.

Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

Verse 40 says And with many other words did he testify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation.

Untoward is defined by some 17th century dictionaries as unwilling, obstinate, stubborn, and perverse. Peter preached salvation from that stiff-necked generation of Jews who stubbornly refused to accept their Messiah, even having killed Him.

God added three thousand to the early church at that time. It was God’s work accomplished by God using men and women.

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automatismoateo · 6 years

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Being a Closeted Atheist via /r/atheism

Submitted February 04, 2018 at 06:05AM by magdeleina (Via reddit http://ift.tt/2EC8wPA) Being a Closeted Atheist

I'm a 20-year-old girl. I’ve spent my entire life inside a very close knit evangelical church. My church has been my whole world. It’s been my community, my safety net, the center of my life, my friends’ life, and my family’s lives. To say how all encompassing the church is in my life, I will admit that I’ve never had a “worldly friend.” I go to services three times a week, Any outings are with church kids. Total purity from sin is expected from everyone

My parents are true believers 100%. So are all my friends. They love God deeply and believe everything the church says without hesitation or doubt. Nothing matters to them but winning God’s approval and laying down sin. I do think they are genuinely happy. God is a constant, a loving Father who guides their every day with little signs and blessings.

But me, I’m not a true believer. I don’t think I’ve ever been. Growing up I was called a prideful know-it-all because I had an insatiable urge to know why and to have the phenomena of life explained. I was fascinated by science, history, and literature. I read voraciously and became a veritable encyclopedia of random facts and tidbits. My academic pursuits were encouraged, though I was warned to keep humble and know my place as a submissive woman. I thought it must be right because it was the only world I ever knew.

Yet as I went on, learning more and more about the world, I began to see discrepancies. I read the Bible cover to cover when I was twelve years old, and noticed discrepancies and inconsistencies. Why would a God who said “Do not murder” ask his people to slaughter children in his name? Why did everyone in the Bible constantly talk about how the End Times were coming soon when it was written 2,000 years ago, and now my church used those passages as evidence that we were also living on the brink of Armageddon?

My pastor would have errors in his sermons, or take some historical event out of context and twist it to serve his rhetorical purpose. I noticed these mistakes, but when I would bring them up (always respectfully) my parents told me I had no right to correct a prophet since I was a child and that it was a sign of my pride and self-absorption.

As I learned more about geology, archeology, and astronomy in school, I came home breathless in excitement about science. Yet when I would compare what was in the Bible to what I had learned, I realized how little sense the Biblical narrative was. Yet around me, scientific theories and discoveries were being mocked as worldly foolishness by my peers. I was the stupid one for wanting more evidence than the Bible and answered prayers for accepting the notion of the Flood and Genesis. I tried to reconcile Evolution with Creationism, dinosaurs with Adam and Eve. I became more skeptical. As a result, my parents took me out of public school and had me homeschooled with Abeka.

Abeka is a very fundamentalist Christian homeschool curriculum where Darwin was Satanically inspired and America was the culmination of a divine plan. God was the Great Scientist, they would say, it is from him that all science is written. Any words that don’t match to his divinely inspired book were falsehood from Satan to be shunned. I learned to stop asking questions because questions got me in trouble.

As I grew older, I began feeling a great deal of disconnection because I did not believe in God the way everyone else did. I wanted a God who was logical and consistent and I could not find him in our theology. I became fixated on the idea of Hell, mostly because that is where I expected to go when I died.

How could a good God sentence people to an eternity of torture? How could cultural relativism make that equitable. Some people were born into faiths that required a daily human sacrifice to keep the sun from going dark. They lived on continents unknown by Christians. They believed just as fervently in their religion. Would God send them to Hell for being born on the wrong side of the world?

I asked this question and got platitudes about how God is Love with a wisdom beyond human understanding. When I pressed further I was told to stop asking and focus instead on serving the church and getting out of my sin of pride. This hurt me deeply because I felt so alone. To get into Heaven, I had to have a personal relationship with God. I had to get answered prayers and signs. I would get on my knees and try to pray to God, cry out that I needed something to give me faith, but all I got was silence.

By the time I started college, I felt so alienated from everyone. Every day was an act and I wore my mask of true believer to perfection. I led prayer circles, talked about scripture, and volunteered on church committees, but inside I knew it was all a performance to me. I felt so utterly alone, like my life was completely meaningless and empty. I couldn’t really connect with people anymore because if I showed any vulnerability, I was afraid they would see my fakeness. All my friendships withered and I became increasingly isolated.

I lived with my parents all through college and commuted. Moving out wasn’t even an option for kids in my church. The church encouraged parents to hover, spy, and discover all their children’s secrets. Helicopter parenting was the norm.

By age seventeen I fell into a depression. By eighteen I was having daily suicidal thoughts. My mother found my journal where I wrote about wanting to go to sleep forever. She brought me before the church leaders where they told me I was being attacked by demons. They prayed over me and told me to read the Bible more. I played the good Christian girl because I knew sharing my real beliefs would be dangerous. If I was too flippant, my parents would pull me out of college (where I had a full-ride academic scholarship).

Three months ago, at age 20, I had my first real suicide attempt. I just wanted an end to the pain of isolation and depression. Not a single day went by where I did not long for an end. I just wanted to stop existing, sink into the void. I took a couple pills but chickened out at the last second and flushed them. I admitted this to my father and asked if I could see a doctor. He said that was impossible, as our church doesn’t believe in mental health. He told me to focus on obeying God and that happiness would come eventually.

I am an atheist, I think. I cannot believe in God. Yet my depression scares me. Everyone around me says they are happy with God. They saw the world offers nothing good and that the only happiness in life is from finding God’s spirit. I want to be happy. I don’t want to be in that terrible dark place again, yet I think being an atheist pretending to be a believer is part of it.

Leaving is not really an option for me. If I leave, I lose everything and everyone I love. My parents, friends, home, everything will be taken away and I will be shunned. Not to mention, my future will be in jeopardy. I have one year left of undergrad before I plan on going to law school. I don’t have a job right now, so I am entirely financially dependent on my parents. They control all my finances. The idea of even getting a job makes them suspicious. Moving out isn’t an option. Girls in my church are expected to live with their parents until they get married. Even after marriage, many young couples continue to live with their in-laws. Independence isn’t a virtue kids are taught.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone in the world. I know I can’t believe, but I can’t leave either. Sorry for the long post. I'm just never ever allowed to say this out loud.

#reddit

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