#there are like three ways i can set up the bracket so i gotta pick one

[mosthomoeroticenemies]

Ok the characters for round 2 are ready I just gotta make the Bracket after work tomorrow, I'll try to have it ready for Tuesday

#rattalks #im sorry for being very slow and also terrible but i am Learning #but i promise once I get this done the rest will go much faster #there are like three ways i can set up the bracket so i gotta pick one #it can be completely random #seeded with the approximate votes from round one (sucks for the smaller characters tho) #or using the approximate votes to put them in kinda order so the big guys kill each other and the small ones have a chance #im making this much more complicated than it needs to be #i tend to do that tbh

[connordavidscamera]

A Jealous Household | Connor Brashier

A/n: listen, I know it says y/n, but we all know it’s written about me, right? Okay, just wanna put that out there lol

Summary: Shawn and Brian want to have a party, but this party causes a few problems for Connor and y/n

Warnings: angst, underage drinking (for US standards, at least), pining

Word count: 7.5k, she’s a long one

***

“You want to have a party? When?” Y/n asks, closing her book and setting it in her lap.

“This weekend,” Shawn nods. “And it won’t be a big thing, I promise. Maybe fifteen, twenty people.”

“Thirty or forty, max,” Brian interjects.

I can’t help but laugh at that, neither can she as she says. “You know we can’t even fit thirty or forty people in the condo, right?”

“I know that, but that’s why we’ll have some of them in the backyard too.”

“So what’s the party even for?” She asks, leaning into my side. On instinct, I wrap my arm around her shoulders. 

They both shrug, “A house warming party? Does that still count if we’ve lived here for almost two months?” Shawn questions. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t see why we couldn’t have one. We just have to be considerate of our neighbors. And nobody’s allowed in my room. If there’s alcohol, I’m not chancing anyone going into my room for a sloppy fuck.”

Shawn laughs, “So your sloppy fuck is gonna be in Connor’s room then?”

I roll my eyes at the comment. Shawn and Brian love to tease me about my crush on y/n. They have since the beginning. Shawn’s taunts are light hearted, but they’re plentiful now that we all live together. Brian’s at times feel almost malicious. But Brian also isn’t aware that I still have a crush on her, he thinks the feeling has passed. It definitely hasn’t. If anything, being in such tight quarters with her at all times has made me like her even more. Watching her move so effortlessly around our home - seeing her do her nightly routine, watching her polish her nails every Sunday like clockwork. I have undeniably fallen even deeper in love with her in just these few short weeks we’ve lived together and it’s killing me.

It’s killing me because we still haven’t talked about what she said to me a couple weeks ago when we were falling asleep together. I don’t even know if she remembers saying what she did. And I could have misinterpreted her words, I mean, she was falling asleep, her words were slurring. I could have misunderstood. At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself every time the memory pops into my head. Which is about six times a day for the past three weeks.

Y/n gasps and tosses her book at him, "Asshole!"

He laughs, picking the book up off the floor from where it ricocheted off his chest. "I'm kidding. Kidding. But it's cool?"

She shrugs, "Yeah, whatever. Go nuts."

"Yes!" Shawn pumps his fist in the air before high fiving Brian. 

"We gotta get alcohol."

"Ah, wait. Before you two go broke buying drinks for the party, remember that we have bills to pay. So save us all a headache and make it BYOB."

Brian snaps and points at her with a click of his tongue. "This is why we keep you around."

She laughs, "Oh is that why?"

"Indeed," he nods.

"Okay, well can I have my book back, please?"

"Yeah, here," Shawn leans over the coffee table to hand it to her before disappearing to his room, Brian heading to the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" I ask, not looking up from my phone. I can sense that the wheels are turning in her head and she sighs dramatically.

"I don't remember which page I was on."

I force myself not to laugh. "243."

“Hmm?” She flips to that page and looks up at my side profile. “How’d you know that?”

I shrug, “I always memorize the page you’re on before you close the book, just in case.”

She smiles sheepishly and presses a kiss to my shoulder. “You’re cute,” she whispers before turning her attention back to the page in front of her and resting her head in the crook of my neck.

I squeeze her shoulder hoping she doesn’t look up and notice the growing blush on my cheeks, “You’re cuter.”

---

“Do you have any idea who’s coming to this?” Y/n asks as we move a cooler out to the backyard.

I shake my head, “Not really. I think Matt and his girlfriend, honestly, I have no idea. It’s Shawn, so there’s bound to be more people than we’re anticipating.”

“Lots of girls then.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask, setting the cooler down, providing her with my undivided attention (which she has always had). 

“He’s making a name for himself out here. Playing a few more gigs than at home. I noticed at the last one, he’s got a few groupies.”

I chuckle, “Oh really?”

She nods, “There were like five girls there just holding onto his every word. It was actually pretty cool to watch. But he got nervous. Started fidgeting with his necklace, so I had to get him out of there, which of course resulted in death glares from his adoring fans.”

“What? What do you mean? Death glares towards you?”

Y/n laughs, fixing the collar of her shirt that’s falling off her shoulder. “Yeah. I think they thought there was more there than there is,” she shrugs, “And if looks could kill, I would be dead five times over.”

I shake my head, I don’t like that thought, and I say as much. “I don’t like that thought.”

“What? Shawn having groupies?”

“No, girls staring daggers at you because you’re friends with him.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

I know it’s not, but the thought of someone not liking her is appalling to me. “I still don’t like it.”

“Is it because if something happened to me you’d be left to live alone with Shawn and Brian? Because that would make me sad too.”

I force a laugh, “That, and I’d be bored without you.”

She nods understandingly, “I get it. I am the light of your life,” she teases.

You are, I think to myself. “Yeah, yeah,” I say instead, stepping forward, wrapping my arm around her waist. “Let’s get inside, it’s hot as hell out here.”

Shawn and Brian are sitting on the floor in front of the TV, trying to get the wifi hooked up to it. We barely got wifi installed at the beginning of the week, but we’ve all been so busy, we haven’t had the chance to get everything hooked up to it. 

“It’s not working!” Brian complains, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Well try again! That’s what the router says.” Shawn counters back.

“Let me see that,” Brian snatches the router out of his hands. “Dumbass! You’re reading me the product number! Not the fucking password!”

Y/n and I hide our faces to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter, but we both break when Shawn pouts when Brian puts the router back in his hands after successfully connecting the TV.

“Oh, what’s with the pouty face, rockstar?” y/n asks.

“Brian’s a dick,” he mutters, which causes Brian to punch his shoulder.

“Ow!” Shawn exclaims, reaching to hold his arm. “That hurt!”

“It was supposed to. Want me to do it again?”

“Craigen,” y/n shakes her head and before I can protest, she’s out of my grasp and I suddenly feel lonely without her body next to mine. “No more fighting.”

“Just one time in the face,” he tries to reason. “Just once. Come on, it’s a long time coming. I’ve wanted to punch him in the face since we were kids.”

“No,” she squats down behind Shawn, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, leaning her head against his. I watch Shawn fall into her touch and I’m envious of him. Even though she holds onto me in the exact same way, almost daily, she isn’t right now and it makes me long for it. Especially when I watch her start to massage his scalp and he hums because her head scratches feel like you’re in heaven. “You can’t punch him in the face. That’s the money maker,” she squishes his cheeks with her free hand and speaks in a mock baby voice, “And if he’s got a black eye how will he charm girls with his pretty face tonight?”

Shawn laughs and pushes her hand away, but he reaches back and pats her calf. “Sit down,” he says and she obliges, her legs spreading and bracketing Shawn’s. He falls back into her and takes her hand that was just squeezing him and brings it to his lips to kiss her knuckles before bringing it to his hair as well. “More head scratches.”

She rolls her eyes, but continues anyway. “So fucking needy.”

He hums, “Could fall asleep like this.”

She hums too and looks up at me with a smile that melts my heart, “Connor does all the time.”

I nod, “I do. Feels good. Your hands are magic.”

“How magic? Like you could get me off in three seconds?”

“Brian!” I growl. Yep, we can always count on him to ruin the mood.

But y/n’s laughing, “I’m sure I could, I mean, if you ask your first girlfriend, you only last five so I don’t think it’ll be difficult,” she answers.

Shawn’s hysterical in y/n’s arms, as am I as I fall to the floor, clutching my stomach. But Brian? Brian is livid.

“I can’t believe she told you that! She said she wouldn’t tell anyone!”

This only makes Shawn and I laugh harder. “Wait, did that actually happen?” I ask between fits. “Craigen, come on,” I groan when he’s silent. “Five seconds?”

“It was our first time!”

“And last, apparently,” y/n comments.

“Shut up!” he groans. “Fuck, I can’t stand you.”

She nods, “I know.”

“No, but seriously, when did she tell you that?”

Y/n breaks out into a wide grin. “She didn’t. But you just did. Thanks for that.”

He’s speechless. Absolutely speechless. And his face is so red; I don’t know if it’s in anger or embarrassment, but either way, Shawn pipes up. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, my first time I only lasted like twenty seconds.”

“I lasted fifteen,” I confirm, but I immediately regret it when y/n’s face morphs into one of confusion. 

Oh, oh fuck. I never told her that I-

“Wait, you’ve had sex?”

“You didn’t know?” Shawn questions, looking back at her.

She shakes her head, “I guess not.”

I sigh and scratch the back of my head, “Yeah. It was… during that time where we weren’t really talking,” I mumble.

She nods slowly, scoffing, and I can’t quite pin her emotion, but it’s definitely a cross between anger and… is that jealousy? “Ah, good ol’ McKenzie,” she mutters under her breath. She exhales deeply out her nose and focuses her attention back to playing with Shawn’s hair. 

“I would have told-”

“We weren’t talking. I know,” she cuts me off. “And it’s none of my business. It wasn’t then, and it’s not now either.”

“Oh, right. Okay,” I nod once. “New subject.”

---

We’re tiptoeing around each other the rest of the day. Or more so, I’m tiptoeing around her. She somehow is coming off as completely unbothered, but at the same time completely bothered. I don’t know what to make of this situation. I don’t know if I should apologize for not telling her, or if she even wants me to apologize. I don’t know and it’s killing me not knowing what I can do to make this better for us tonight.

I’m helping Brian pour more ice into the cooler we have in the kitchen when she walks out of her room. “Where’s Shawn?” she asks.

I look up at her and my heart stops for a moment. She’s wearing red, my heart never knows what to do when she wears that color. Does it stop? Does it speed up? Yes. 

“He went to his car to get the beer we got this afternoon,” Brian answers, closing the lid. 

SHe nods, “I’ll go help him.”

I watch as she leaves, not taking a full breath until the door shuts behind her. 

“She still mad at you?” 

I shake my head, “I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is mad at me.”

“Well, it’s y/n. You kept something from her for almost three years. I’m willing to bet she’s a little upset.”

I sigh, “Yeah, I know. But I mean, how was I supposed to tell her. She would barely even look at me during that time, so -”

“Yeah, because McKenzie was a bitch to her. How was she supposed to look at you when she was practically threatened or called out or god know what when you weren’t listening. I’d hate to know what she actually said when none of us were there to listen.”

I exhale deeply. I know my ex was the worst to her - she’s the entire reason y/n and I weren’t talking. She told me not to hang out with her as much, so I didn’t (also because I was trying to prove to Brian that I didn’t have feelings for y/n anymore. That was a mistake.) “So, I should apologize.”

Brian shrugs, “We all know you’re gonna apologize. You can’t stand it when she’s mad at you. Honestly, we can’t either. We have no idea what to do when you two aren’t talking. And since we all live together now, it’ll be even more awkward for you two to not talk.”

I nod, “Yeah. I know. I’ll apologize later. You should go get ready. I can finish up out here.”

Brian claps my shoulder, “Thanks, man. I’ll be quick.” He disappears at the same time Shawn and y/n walk in the front door with the drinks. I make my way over to them.

“Here, let me get that for you,” I tell her, reaching to take the cases from her hands.

“Oh, it’s okay. I got it. You want these inside or out, rockstar?”

“In the fridge, in the back. Gotta keep the good stuff for us.” Shawn hands me a pottle of vodka, “Put this in the freezer? I got it for y/n, I’m gonna make her a new drink.”

“You’re gonna risk giving her alcohol poisoning?” I question, raising one eyebrow at him.

He rolls his eyes, “I’ve gotten better at making drinks, dickhead.”

I laugh and hold my hands up in surrender, “Alright, sure.”

“I’m gonna put these in my room for now, and then I’m gonna get ready.”

“Brian’s in the shower, you can use my bathroom,” I say as y/n moves past us to the kitchen. 

“Good looking out, thanks.”

And now it’s just me and her. It’s like any normal day. So why is my heart beating so quickly?

I watch her move some things around in the fridge to make room for the drinks, and I can’t help but smile. “You look pretty tonight,” I tell her, leaning against the counter.

She looks over at me and smiles softly, “Thanks.”

I clear my throat, “Hey, y/n?”

“Hmm?” she turns her attention back to her task at hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” she asks, closing the fridge.

“For not telling you that I slept with her.”

“Oh,” she nods. “It’s fine. It really is not any of my business who you have and haven’t slept with.”

“Well maybe not, but you are my best friend, and we tell each other everything. I know if we were on better terms when you were dating Noah, you would have told me that you-”

“I didn’t tell you because we didn’t sleep together.”

“What?” I stare at her with wide eyes. 

“Noah and I didn’t sleep together.”

“But I thought-”

“You assumed. But no, it didn’t happen. I wasn’t ready. I mean, I barely let him kiss me, so how the hell was I gonna sleep with him?”

I nod because I don’t know what else to do or even say. She’s right, I just assumed that they had sex because he always had his hands all over her. I almost scoff at the thought. I hated watching him hold her in the hallway, his hands in her back pockets as he pulled her closer to him. Seeing them together everyday made my heart clench every time because it should have been me. I wonder if that’s how she felt when I had a girlfriend. 

“Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? So, let’s just drop it. It’s not like I’m mad you had sex, I was just surprised to find out this way, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I get it. And I would have told you sooner, but there really was never a time, you know? And it was just with her a couple times, nothing since.”

“Connor, you really don’t need to explain it to me. Actually, if we could just stop talking about her all together, that’d be great.”

“No, yeah. Of course. It’s dropped.”

She nods, “Okay, good. So, you should go get dressed.”

“What do you mean? I’m wearing this,”  I gesture to my torn t-shirt and my sweatpants with paint stains up and down the legs from when we painted the living room a few weeks ago. I’m totally joking, but I want to see her reaction anyway.

She looks me up and down and scoffs, “Yeah, no. Go change. You’re not wearing that.”

I pout dramatically, “Why not?”

“One, those pants are a mess. Two, you know you run hot when you drink, so why would you wear sweatpants? And three, that shirt is literally falling apart. You are not wearing that, go change.”

I can’t fight the smile that tugs at my lips because just like that we’re back to normal. “Okay, I’m going. Do you have something you’d like for me to wear?”

“Yes, your black pants with the white tank top and your peachy cream shirt. The one you wore for our graduation party.”

I nod, “Yes, ma’am. You wanna do my hair?”

“Come find me when you’re done, and I’ll see what I can do.”

---

I’m talking to my friend Will out in the backyard as the party becomes bigger than anticipated. Yeah, definitely called that situation. 

“Bro, I wish I would have saved up more so I could have gotten a place like you guys did. I emailed my roommate last week to see what he wanted to get for the dorm and he straight up said, ‘I don’t plan to be roommates long, so nothing.’”

I can’t help but laugh, “Hey, we’d take you in over Brian, but he’d throw a bitch fit.”

He laughs too, twisting the cap off his beer. “So what’s it like living with y/n? Everything good?”

“Yeah, everything’s great. She knows how to run a household. She made a chore chart that goes on the fridge. Shawn had to beg her to take it down for the party because he was embarrassed.”

“Sounds like y/n. But that’s not what I meant.”

I take a swig of my beer and shrug, “There’s nothing else to say really. She’s nice to live with.”

“No progression between you two.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right, right. Because you’re not in love with her, right.”

“Will, come on. Not tonight.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. We’re not in a teasing mood tonight.”

Or ever. Will is a great friend of mine, and I would take a bullet for him, but he asks me for y/n updates every time we’re together, and I never have any for him. When I told him we were moving in together, he was stoked, but less so when I told him we were moving with Shawn and Brian too. 

He - like Shawn - is an avid supporter of us getting together. Will found out about my so-called crush one night in high school, actually a couple weeks after my breakup with McKenzie. Y/n and I still weren’t talking. I was trying to mend things and  she was trying to push me further away. I don’t remember much of the night he found out because I got shit faced drunk, but I somehow admitted to him that I had feelings for her and he’s convinced himself that he knows the biggest secret in the world. He treats it like he holds the key to the universe. If anyone wants us together more than I do, it’s him.

“Just don’t want to risk her hearing anything,” I tell him. “I already made things awkward earlier.”

“What? How?”

I shake my head, “Let it slip that Kenz and I slept together.”

He blanches. “She didn’t know?!”

I shake my head, “No. I never found the right time to tell her. But she keeps saying it isn’t her business, so I don’t know if that means she’s hurt by it or if I’m imagining it because right now it seems like she doesn’t really care. But - I don’t know, I want her to, I guess.” 

He smirks, “She cares.”

“I don’t know,” I mutter, looking inside, lifting my bottle up to my lips, but halting when I see her standing near the sliding glass door with - “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“What?” Will asks, turning toward the door. “What hap - is that? Wait, is that Noah? What is he doing here?”

My jaw clenches, just like the grip around the bottle in my hand. “Better question, why the hell is he so close to her?”

Will sucks in a breath, “Are they still friends?”

I don’t answer him because I don’t know. I’m 99% sure they aren’t, but that 1% that says yes is simply because I’m watching them right now and she’s hugging him and letting him kiss her cheek before he pulls away. “I didn’t think they were. She hasn’t brought him up since the breakup.”

I don’t take my eyes off them as I start chugging the rest of my beer. It was still pretty full, but at this moment, I need to finish it because I need something stronger. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” I mutter, tossing my bottle in the trashcan near the cooler. I walk inside, but neither of them notice me. I shake my head and walk to Shawn’s room where he hid most of the hard stuff. I find the bottle of tequila that he stashed because he knew if he put it out, it’d go fast. I twist the top off and take, maybe a little more than a shot. I cough into my elbow when I pull the bottle back because wow he got the strong stuff.

Shaking my head, I close the bottle back up and sneak out of Shawn’s room. When I enter the living room, they’re still standing there talking. Or, he’s talking, she’s nodding at something he’s saying. I click my tongue and walk into the kitchen to grab another beer. SHould I be mixing my alcohol? No, I should not. Is that going to stop me? No, it is not. 

My girl’s ex-boyfriend is over there talking to her and touching her like they’re best buds and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand him. 

I still remember the day she told us that she was going on a date with him. 

All four of us are sitting in our usual booth at the diner, everything seems to be going like it always has. Just us four, laughing and making our weekend plans. The difference though is that y/n and I aren’t sitting shoulder to shoulder right now. She’s pushed against the window, and I’m toward about as far left as I can get without it being noticeable, or falling. 

“So, we’re aiming for Saturday afternoon, right? Y/n, you’ll ride with me?��� Shawn asks.

“Oh,” she sits up straight, “um, could we maybe do it on Sunday instead? I kind of already have plans on Saturday.”

“What?” Brian furrows his brows, “Without us?”

She nods, “Yeah,” she takes in a sharp breath beside me. “I um… I kinda, I have a date.”

At that exact moment, our heads whip in her direction - I’m pretty sure if I turned any faster I would have given myself whiplash.

“A date?” I ask as calmly as I can.

“With who?” Shawn questions.

She shrugs, “You know that guy Noah? I have him in like all of my AP classes? He asked me out after class this morning.”

I don’t think I can clench my jaw any harder. Noah. I hate him. I’ve never personally met him, but I hate him. “Cool,” I mutter, turning my head back to the table to reach for my drink. 

“Well?” Shawn prompts. “What are you gonna do? Where is he taking you?”

She clasps her hands in her lap and shrugs again. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me. Said he wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Ooh, romantic,” Brian teases.

“You hate surprises,” I mumble into my cup.

Y/n clears her throat and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “It’s just one date. Not a big deal.”

“Okay, sure,” Brian says. “So Sunday then?”

“And you’ll tell us all about it?”

“Sure.”

There are very few times that I wish I was deaf, but that day was one of them. I didn’t sleep that whole night. I couldn’t. And the night of her date? Forget it. I was up all night wondering what was happening. Did he hold her hand? Did he hug her? Did that bastard take her first kiss? The first kiss that was supposed to belong to me? 

And right now, as I watch him reach for her elbow again, I decide, fuck it. I don’t care if I look like a jealous asshole, I’m taking my girl away from him. I stride over to them and place my hand on her hip, “Hey, baby. Can you help me find the bottle opener? I can’t remember what drawer you put it in the other day, and I think my eyes are failing me.”

She shakes her head, “Um, yeah. It should be in the drawer closest  to the fridge.”

“I checked there, please, come help me look.”

She rolls her eyes and turns back to Noah who is staring daggers at my hand on her hip. I smirk. “Noah, it was good catching up with you. I’ll find you later. I’m gonna help him out.”

He looks back up at her and forces a smile, “Sure. Sounds good. Save me dance?”

Over my dead body. “Come on, baby,” I say, guiding her toward the kitchen.

She steps in front of me, mumbling a couple excuse me’s to the people blocking the kitchen. Then she b-line’s to the drawer closer to the fridge, which I definitely did not check because I wasn’t really looking for the bottle opener. I just needed an excuse to get her away from Noah.

“Here,” she holds it out to me. “Wait, I thought Shawn got twist tops.” She takes the bottle from my hand and laughs, “Bub, it twists off.” She says, taking the cap off the bottle. 

“Oh,” I chuckle. I knew it was a twist top, again, I just needed an excuse to get her away. “Whoopsies?” 

She puts the bottle opener back in the drawer and leans against the counter. “You having fun?”

I shrug, “I’m alright. So um… Noah’s here.”

Y/n nods slowly, “Yeah, he is.”

“Kinda weird that he showed up after we just talked about him,” I mutter.

“Yeah, I guess. He just tagged along with one of his friends.”

I nod, “Mhm. You two looked pretty cozy.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Nothing. Just, I mean, I haven’t heard you talk about him since the breakup,” I take a sip of the beer in my hand. “I didn’t realize you two were still so close.”

She tilts her head at me, “We’re not. We were just catching up. He didn’t know that I lived here too.”

“Uh-huh, so you haven’t talked to him recently?”

She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s with the third degree, huh?”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I mutter.

“No, Connor. I haven’t talked to him recently. In fact, I haven’t talked to him since the breakup. But what does that matter? Why does it matter who I do and do not talk to?”

“I just think it’s a little strange that he came here tonight.”

“Well, I didn’t invite him, if that’s what you’re insinuating. He came with a friend. He didn’t even know it was our party, or our house. He just showed up.”

“So he crashed it. Classy.”

“What is your deal?” She pushes herself off the counter and stands face to face with me, her forehead creasing as she glares at me. I want to smooth the crease and tell her not to do that because she’ll get a headache, but I refrain. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please,” she scoffs, “you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend! Newsflash, Connor, you’re not my boyfriend.”

I recoil, because sure I know I’m not, but the words spew from her lips like venom. “I know that.”

“Do you? Because right now it doesn’t seem like you do. Now unless I completely missed the part where you asked me to be your girlfriend, you have no right to be upset over me talking to my ex-boyfriend.”

“He was an ass to you then.”

“How would you know?! We weren’t even talking then.”

“Because you didn’t want to! I was still trying to fix things with us but you were pushing me away.”

“No, I wasn’t pushing you away. I was protecting myself from getting hurt again.”

“But it wasn’t me, that was Kenzie, and -”

She groans in frustration, “Why are we talking about her again? Why? I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

Y/n pinches the bridge of her nose. “Look, you’re my best friend, and I love you. But you have no right to be upset about Noah. You are not my boyfriend -”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because you aren’t! You like to act like you are sometimes, but you’re not.”

“Do you want me to be?!” I exclaim, setting my bottle down.

She scoffs, shaking her head. “Not like this,” she says quietly, pushing past me.

“Y/n!” I call after her, but she ignores me. I, however, can’t ignore the eyes that are on me.

---

“He’s jealous?” Alessia asks, leaning back on her hands. We’re sitting on the grass in the backyard. It’s quieter out here, and far less crowded. “Does he even have a right to be?”

“That’s what I’m saying! He’s my best friend, but sometimes he acts like he’s my boyfriend and I just - I’m over it.”

She sighs, “You’re over him acting like your boyfriend.”

“Yes,” I say.

“Because you want him to actually be your boyfriend.”

“What? No! No,” I shake my head, “that’s not it.”

Les smiles, “Honey, it’s obvious the way you two look at each other. And you can deny it because you’re best friends, you live together. You don’t want to risk the integrity of the friendship that you have. And that is totally reasonable, but you two need to discuss what you are to each other. Because it’s clear that in his mind, you’re a little bit more than just ‘best friends.’ And well, you’ve always wanted to be more, so what’s so wrong with him being that?”

I sigh and pick at the grass beside me, “I don’t know if he feels this way genuinely or if it’s because I’m closer now. We live together, it seems almost easy or convenient for him to develop some tiny crush because of the proximity.”

At this she laughs, “Oh, honey. That is definitely not it.”

“How do you know?”

“Because that boy has been in love with you since before I even met you guys. It’s written all over his face and if you took a second to just stop and -”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,” Shawn says, breathlessly, pushing his curls out of his face. “Y/n, Connor’s drunk off his ass, and I need your help”

I sit up, “Okay, How much did he drink?”

“Like, the entire bottle of tequila I had in my room, plus however many beers he had.”

I stand up, swatting at the backs of my legs to get off any dirt, “Is he throwing up?”

“No, he’s just asking for you.”

I nod and look back to Alessia, “We’ll talk later, Les?”

“Mhm, go take care of your boy.”

“Why did he drink so much?” I ask Shawn, following him toward the sliding glass door. 

He shrugs, “I asked him. He said you were mad at him.”

I roll my eyes, “Well yeah, he was being an ass. But it still doesn’t make sense.If he drinks every time I get upset with him, he’d be an alcoholic ”

“All I know is that he was asking for you,” Shawn says just as we find Connor sitting outside my bedroom door, nursing another beer bottle. 

I shake my head, “God, he knows not to be switching between alcohol.”

“Connor, buddy?” Shawn says, squatting down next to him. “I got her. Why don’t you give me that beer, eh?” He goes to take it from his hands, but Connor’s quick to move it, spilling a bit of it on his shirt in the process.

“No, this is mine. Get your own,” he slurs

I sigh and squat down next to him, too. “I think you’ve had enough, bub. Come on, let me have it.”

He looks at me with heavy eyes and he pouts, dramatically. “Y/n… you’re so pretty.”

“Connor,” I shake my head. 

“I love you in red. God, you look so good. Could never get,” he hiccups, “tired of looking at you.”

I blush, looking over at Shawn who’s still sitting with us. “Okay, come on. Let’s get up. We need to get you to bed.”

He nods slowly, “Whatever you want, baby.”

I take the drink out of his hand and set on the floor beside us. “Shawn, help me get him up.”

Shawn nods, “You got it.” He does most of the heavy lifting, but when Connor’s on his feet, he leans into me, hugging my waist, burying his head in my neck. 

“I’m so sorry, y/n. So sorry.”

“I know, come on now. We’re going to your room.”

He groans into my skin, but helps me and Shawn take him to his room as best as he can, only stumbling once when we round the corner. We push his bedroom door open and walk further into the room, plopping him down on the bed. 

“Thanks, Shawn. I got it from here.”

“You sure?” 

I nod, moving to grab his trash can from next to his desk. “Yeah, we’re good. Thanks for coming to get me.”

He nods, “Of course. Come get me if you need anything else.”

Connor groans as Shawn slams the door shut behind him. I sigh and move around the room, turning on his bedside lamp and going to his desk chair where his outfit from earlier is laid out. “Okay, bub, I’m gonna need you to help me out, alright? I need you to get out of your clothes, I’m gonna put you in pajamas, okay?”

He shakes his head, his pout even heavier than usual, eyes struggling to stay open. “Too tired. You do it.”

I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. Of course he’s gonna be difficult right now. I shake my head, throwing his clothes beside him, “Can you stand up?”

He mumbles something incoherent, but I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere along the lines of “The room is spinning.”

“Fuck, Connor, why did you drink so much?” I grumble, moving to the floor to take his shoes off.

“You’re mad at me,” he whines.

“Yes, I am. You know your limits. What were you gonna do if this didn’t happen at the house, hmm?”

“M’sorry.”

I roll my eyes, “Okay, sit up,” I reach for his hands to help pull him to a sitting position. 

He makes an unnecessary amount of groaning sounds as he moves around to accommodate me.

I push his shirt off his shoulders, it’s almost damp, he’s sweating so much. I throw it to the side, I’ll put it in the laundry room when I go get him some pain meds in a little bit. I take hold of the hem of his tank top, “Arms up,” I pat his side and he obliges, looking up at me with a sad smile on his lips. “What’s wrong?” I ask him, tossing his tank top off to the side too.

“I’m sorry I got mad earlier. About Noah.”

I shake my head, “It’s fine. Lay back, lift your hips for me.”

He lays back, but his pout still remains on his face as I lean forward to unbutton his pants.

“What now?” I question softly, pulling down his zipper, “Hips up.”

He’s looking at me with such sad eyes and it’s killing me. “This isn’t how I wanted you to undress me for the first time.”

My breath hitches, “What?”

“Wanna make love to you,” he slurs. 

I almost choke on his words, “Connor, you’re drunk,” I shake my head, pulling his pants off him and grabbing his sweats to pull up his legs instead. I decide to forgo the shirt because he’s already sweating a lot, I don't want to make him even hotter. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I’m gonna go get you some water and pain meds. Stay here.” I move the trash can closer to him, “The trash is right next to you if you feel like you’re gonna get sick.

I pick up his discarded clothes from the floor and walk to the door and out the room before he can say anything else he doesn’t mean. After tossing them in the hamper in the laundry room, I squeeze past the group of people still congregating in the hallway. I slip into my room and grab some of my pain meds from my book bag and quickly slip out again to head to the kitchen which is also crowded. I mumble out a general excuse me, and go to the fridge to grab Connor a bottle of water. 

On my way back, I stop and go to his bathroom which is thankfully empty, and grab a hand towel and wet it under the faucet to hopefully cool him down a bit. When I’m back in his room, he’s laying face down on his bed and I stop for a minute, admiring his smooth skin, and the way the muscles in his shoulders tense up when he moves his arm above his head. It’s not fair. No one man should look this good. 

I shake my head, focusing back on the task at hand. I close the door behind me gently. “Okay, Connor. I need you to sit up just one more time to take these pills and then you can go to bed, yeah?”

He groans, “I think I drank too much, baby,” he mumbles, pushing himself up and I'm once again in awe of how his muscles move with him. 

I scratch at my scalp and nod, holding out the pills for him. “Yeah, I think you did, too.” He takes them in his hand and I sit next to him, uncapping the water bottle before handing it to him as well.

“Thank you,” he hiccups.

“You’re welcome.” I look down at my hands as he takes the pills. He goes to hand me the water bottle back but I shake my head, “You need to drink it all. We’re trying to avoid a hangover.”

He just holds the bottle in his lap, not moving to drink anymore of it, so I look back up at him only to find him already staring at me. 

“You okay?” I ask.

He hums and reaches forward. He runs his thumb under my eye, “You got an eyelash. I got it,” he mumbles, but he keeps his hand cradling the side of my face. 

My eyes search his tired ones, they’re glossed over, but they always get that way when he drinks, making his eyes seem just a little more blue than green. 

“Have I told you tonight that you look pretty?” he asks quietly. 

“Multiple times,” I confirm. 

“Good, because you are… so, so pretty.”

I lick my lips and watch his eyes move from my eyes to my lips and back. I take in a shallow breath as he starts to lean closer. His eyes closed as his face inches toward mine. I push him back gently just before his lips have the chance to connect with mine, and I mean just before because I could feel his breath against my mouth. “What are you doing?” I question.

“I was… I was trying to kiss you. Did you, I thought you wanted to - when we were laying in bed a couple weeks ago, you said you wanted me to kiss you.”

“Well, I… Connor,” I shake my head. I didn’t think he heard me when I said that. “Not like this. Not tonight. Not when you’re drunk and not thinking clearly.” I stand up, pacing slowly in front of him. “If you’re gonna kiss me, I want you to be sober, and to actually want to do it. Not just because we got in a fight earlier. I don’t want this to be something you do now and then completely forget about or ignore, or fuck, even worse, regret in the morning. I don’t want that. I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve to be led on by you again.”

“Again?” He asks, tilting his head at me. 

“Nevermind. I should go back out there, start cleaning up so it’s not so much tomorrow.”

“Wait, y/n, please. Stay here, please. Stay with me tonight.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I won’t try anything, I promise. Please, just stay?”

I sigh, “Just until you fall asleep.”

---

It’s nearing eleven in the morning when Shawn finally retreats from his room. He’s not nearly as hungover as I bet the other boys are going to be. If he’s even hungover at all, he doesn’t seem to be. 

He leans against the counter, watching me pull my second batch of cookies from the oven. “You’re stress baking,” he observes.

I scoff, “I made muffins too,” I nod in the direction of the counter in front of him where a plate of blueberry muffins sits. 

“Ooh,” he reaches forward and takes one, “Not that I like when you’re stressed, but this my favorite of your coping mechanisms.”

“For purely selfish, I presume.”

“Of course,” he says around a mouthful of muffin. “So,” he says after he swallows. “Does this sudden urge to bake have anything to do with what happened last night with Connor?”

I tense up at the memory of Connor leaning in to kiss me. Me pushing him away. “Maybe.”

“So what did happen after I left you two?”

“Nothing,” I shake my head.

“Well, the glorious smell of our kitchen and the spotless living room say otherwise.”

I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face. “He, god, he tried to kiss me.”

“What?” Shawn chokes. 

“Shh! You’ll wake them.”

“Oh please, Brain will be asleep until five. Nothing will wake him. He kissed you?! Well, how was it?”

“I said he tried. As in, I didn’t let him. I pushed him away before he could.”

“Why? Don’t you want him to?”

“Of course! But not like that! Not when he’s drunk and not himself. WHen he’s saying stupid things like he wants to make love to me, and that he wishes I was undressing him for the first time under different circumstances.”

“What? He said all of that?! Oh my god! Go, Connor!”

“No, not go Connor. Because he’s not going to remember any of this when he wakes up and I’m going to remember everything and have to pretend that he didn’t say anything or try to kiss me. And I’m stuck being led on once again, except this time he lives just down the hall and I have to see him everyday.”

Shawn sighs, “Okay, you’re right. So, what are you going to do?”

“Same thing I always do.”

He nods, “I’ll get my guitar.”

***

Permanent tag: @soyalimoncada-blog @magcon7280 @fallinallincurls @goldenflickerx  @myyohmyuohmyy @harry-hollands @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @baroness-alison @lostinmendess @linanilssonfurberg @luvluvxx @mariamuses @shawnieeboyy @divinginfearlessly @mendesficsxbombay @shawnsthighs @zaahidahhh @lordescomeback @shawnandconnor @shawnsblue @turtoix @honestlyimstilllivinginthe90s @gangofhoes @verlaneswiftie13

#connor brashier #connor brashier x y/n #connor brashier x reader #connor brashier fanfiction #connor brashier imagine #connor brashier imagines #connor brashier blurb #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fan fiction #Shawn Mendes Imagine

[jisungscaramel]

voices | changbin

❀ genre; smut, college au, fwb ❀ pairing; changbin x reader (fem) ❀ word count; 1.6k

[warning] explicit sexual content, dirty talk, masturabation, (slight) ownership kink, (mild) dom changbin, phone sex, (which includes imagery of) oral (fem receiving), bondage, spanking, unprotected sex (stay safe y’all), overstimulation, creampie

Your eyes open to darkness, and you groan in utter annoyance - you just hate when this happens. You don’t even wanna know what time it is... but you check anyway, 2:20... am - not the worst. At least you have the opportunity to get some sleep, the slightest chance of closing your eyes to immerse in some obscure dream and certainly not the type of wet fantasy that dared to disturb your beauty rest in the first place.

The universe just loves fucking with the sleep schedule you work hard to keep regulated. But the not-so-random interruption to your slumber in it of itself is the least of your problems; the not-so-subtle throb of your clit is beyond irritating, especially since a certain someone isn’t physically there to help you with it.

Your adjusted vision wraps around the silhouette of the ceiling fan, sharpening in detail as you attempt to scrutinize it, five curved blades, metal brackets reflecting the moonlight, a simple ligh- not that a mundane distraction such as this would do anything to help, valiant effort though.

And then you turn your head to the side, fixing on the space where your phone should be laying on the bed side table.

“Should I call him...?” you ask yourself. You grab the device and go straight to the phone app, aggressively scrolling through your contacts ‘til you see his name: Changbin Seo.

Nothing fancy, nothing personal, it’s a deliberate choice to keep it that way, to stay firmly behind his boundaries, well, the boundaries you’ve assumed of him. In reality, he probably wouldn’t have an issue with you contacting him on a whim - even at this ungodly hour, but the idea still makes you nervous. That’s the prevailing predicament of a friend with benefits - sometimes there are too many boundaries and sometimes there are too few.

‘What if he gets annoyed with me? What if he stops talking to me? What if he thinks I’m crazy?’ The more time you spend in your own head, the more the shadow of your past experiences so rudely loom over you.

‘No, Changbin’s not like that. He’s not like that. He’s not like that. He’s not fucking like that.

‘At the worst, he won’t pick up ‘cause he’s asleep. That’s it. That’s all. Relax.’

Regardless, things would be much easier if he didn’t have to go across the state to be home for winter break.

And instead of making that single tap on the glass of your phone, you put it back down, placing it face down, reaching to open the drawer that lays beneath it. You pull out a little drawstring bag. In the darkness, you open it, unsheathing a silicone vibrator, light pink in the light, but rendered colorless in front of your eyes.

‘I should at least try by myself.’

Committing to your decision, you drown your ears in some dvsn - you gotta do what you can to self engage your senses. But you’d much rather hear his voice, much rather feel it vibrate against your skin, reverberate through your nerves. There’s just something about the way he growls when he goes deep, overwhelming the auricles of your ears in a crescendoing frenzy you can’t even fathom outside the moment, even if you try.

Your eyes close when you turn it on, trying your hardest to picture him in your mind’s eye.

The way he tilts his head back to stare at you, eyes half-lidded in the kind of carnal hunger, it makes you wonder what he’ll do next, body sizzling in desire, like it’s on fire. 

And then, there’s the way he lightly tugs at the corner of his bottom lip, tongue brushing over the reddened skin in a teasing lick, you just want them to dip into your slick, to indulge your clit with quick flicks. He loves to look up at you with a tinge of innocence that so eerily contrasts with the vulgarity of his actions, lips smirking against your heat ‘cause he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he knows exactly how to drive you crazy in the best possible way-

“Fuck!”

Even if your imagination is enough to get you there, it’s not enough to satisfy you; it feels like trying to fulfill a day’s worth of hunger with a measly cup of instant ramen when you know damn well you deserve a three course meal.

You haphazardly throw the toy to the side - you’ll clean it in the morning; it’s just too much effort now.

And here you are again, staring at the dark silhouette of your phone. At this point, the amount of fucks you have to give are rapidly dwindling.

And here you are again, phone shining bright in over your face, Changbin’s name and number apparent on the screen. But before you can actually contemplate the idea that you’ve begun to dub a “last resort,” your phone slips out of your hand, knocking you right on the nose, hitting - you guessed it - his number.

And… now you’re calling him. Of course the universe thinks it’s hilarious to mess with you - when does it not?

“Hello?” There’s a clear groggy sleepiness to his voice - clearly, you’ve woken him up.

Fuck. “Oh sorry, Binnie, did I wake you up?” 

“Hmm yeah,” he pauses, probably to rub his eyes, “what’s up?” As sexy as his gruff voice is, it’s the last thing you can think about, subtle embarrassment delicately wrapping your nerves.

“My bad… you know what? It’s nothing. I’ll let you sleep.”

“No, it’s okay, tell me what’s up,” he requests again.

“It’s nothing, I just…”

“Just what?”

“I miss you…”

“...Miss me where?”

“In…” you tighten your thighs together, “places where I shouldn’t.”

“Oh yeah?” You can hear rustling sheets, as if he’s sitting up, as if his attention’s focusing on you. “What would you want me to do if I was there?”

You bite your lip. “You already know.”

“Tell me.” His voice takes a commanding tone, attempting to bend you into submission even through the phone.

Your fingers trace the skin above your underwear. “God, Changbin, I want you to fucking cripple me.”

It’s simply astonishing as to how clearly his sinister chuckle comes through your line, and it’s all it takes for your hand to slip under the thin cotton covering you. “Damn, chula, I didn’t know you wanted me that bad…” a moan slips from your lips both in response to your actions and his words. “Are you touching yourself?”

“Yeah,” your flustered response sounds in the same pitch.

“Naughty girl. I’m gonna have to punish you next time I see you.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“First, I’m gonna tear your clothes off,” you peel the flimsy sleep shirt off your body, not being able to take the increasing heat radiating from your skin, “and then I’m gonna tie your arms up and bend you over my desk to spank you - one slap for every time you’ve touched yourself while I’ve been gone.”

“Where are you gonna spank me?” A sultry tone edges your words.

“On your ass… your thighs… your pussy, depends on how bad you’ve been.”

“What are you gonna do if I earn my reward?” By now, you’re reaching for the vibrator you so carelessly tossed aside not too long ago.

“I’m gonna throw you on my bed, then I’m gonna force your thighs apart and stretch out your soaking little cunt. I’ll fuck you so deep, you’ll feel me rearranging your insides,” he grunts, “Fuck, I’m so hard just thinking about it.”

“Would you let me cum?”

That evil laugh is back, prolonged in the most tantalizing of ways. “Yeah, but not just once. It’s gonna attack you back to back, until your legs go numb.”

You shudder, eyes rolling back. “What if your roommate tries to interrupt us?”

“I’m gonna fuck you harder to mark my territory.”

“Am I your territory?”

He snickers. “You know that pussy’s mine. All. Mine.”

All you can offer as a response is an array of mewls, your walls desperately tightening against the inanimate object inside you.

“God, you sound so sexy when you moan, you know that?” He grunts, and for a few seconds, no words are exchanged. The only thing you can hear is the rapid rustling of fabric, presumably around his hand movements, and the subtle hisses seeping from his lips.

“Are you naked?” he asks.

“Yeah…”

“Show me.”

You lower your phone to capture the sin you’re committing between your legs with a clear view of your bare body neck down, promptly sending the image to him.

And it’s obvious when he receives it because you hear that low, guttural growl you’re oh so familiar with. “You’re so hot.” His voice is strained. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum… are you close?”

“Yeah… I wish you could cum inside me.”

“I do too. Fuck, you look so gorgeous when your pussy’s swollen, dripping with my cum.”

His voice drops an octave, catalyzing the long overdue release that has been coiling inside you. His name rolls off your tongue in an unexpected increase in volume. The hypothetical fantasy momentarily becomes reality in your mind, simulations inducing tangible pleasure inundating you in waves that you didn’t know were possible in a setting like this; why on earth did you let the frustration marinate for this long?

“Fuck,” he curses.

“What?”

“...I made a mess.”

Your phone vibrates with a message from him - it’s a video... and you have the slightest inkling of what it is.

#changbin smut #changbin #seo changbin #changbin college au #changbin scenairo #changbin imagine #changbin x reader #changbin x you #stray kids smut #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #skz smut #skz scenario #skz imagine #bangchan smut #han smut #lee know smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut #hyunjin smut

[deadinside-butstill-horny]

The Night We Met

Part Three - Most Of You

Pairing: Javier Peña/ Female Murphy!Reader

Words: 10k - Word count got away from me.

Summary: We learn a little about Y/N’s past. Tequila is involved and inhibitions lowered. 

Content Warnings: Mentions of death, themes of PTSD,18+ SMUT warning, oral, fingering, dirty talk, penetrative sex. Lots and lots of consent, cause consent is sexy and you know our boy Javi is nothing if not respectful.

MASTERLIST

AO3

Author Note: I really enjoyed writing this. It’s absolutely just porn with minor plot but I have no regrets.

Got the gif from this photo set during the week because THAT’S THE SMILE I’M ON ABOUT. That cute as fuck half smile; it melts my heart. 

Part One   -  Part Two 

It just so happened that when Javier decided to stop trying to seduce you, the two of you could actually be around one another and have a good time. Well, not quite as good as that night. But in the grand scheme of things; good-ish. 

After the debauchery that had occurred outside of the church the two of you had ceremonially agreed to a ceasefire on all hostilities with your second meeting. You were equal parts surprised and disappointed that Javier had been on his best behaviour, the two of you had successfully bought the ingredients and were currently producing what was sure to be a decent breakfast without either of you ending up naked. 

He was the picture of domesticity as he sat on the counter top with a beer in his hand at 8:15am as you whisked some eggs in a bowl using a fork, you paused for a moment, taking a sip of your own beverage, then resuming your task as you threw the eggs into the too hot pan making them sizzle on the skillet. 

"No, no, no, no." Javier cried and pushed himself off of the counter as he tutted, coming to your side and placing his hand on the curve of your waist to move you out of his way. His hand slithers forward and lingers a second on your own fingers before he takes the spatula and puts space between the two of you to manage the task at hand. 

For a moment, you're perplexed. The movement itself wasn't particularly invasive or breaking from the gentlemanly persona he had adopted in the last two hours, but rather it was an act of, well, familiarity. Which reason dictates simply shouldn’t exist between the two of you. 

You had known each other for a grand total of 48 hours and that was being generous as you had been comatosed for easily 15 of those. He had a bad habit of popping up when you least expected it and disarming you with an easy smile. 

You didn’t like how he made you feel. Everything you said, you measured his reaction, a pull of his lip, a flash of his teeth or a narrow of his brow; these were his tells, well his obvious ones. 

You tried desperately to convince yourself that this was platonic analysis. It would seem you could kid Javier but you couldn’t trick yourself. You felt things for the man that you really shouldn’t after knowing him for two days. You were frustrated with the situation, he’d slept with another woman hours after your encounter. You were jealous, sure, but not betrayed.  

It was a matter of pride, that evening had somewhat extinguished the fire for the bronzed man who was currently trying to save the eggs you’d flash fried. What you were experiencing were embers. Yes, embers. The fire hadn’t completely been doused and all you had was a residual heat. A deep glowing burning heat, sure. But eventually reality would be sure to dump some more water on this fire and you wouldn’t feel this lingering need for the man, right?

“¡Espero que te gusten los huevos calientes!” Javier hollered over the sizzling with a smirk on his face as he scraped at the pan with the instrument he’d stolen from you. 

“Eggs and Hot? That’s all I got!” You question a smile warming your face, apparently his enthusiasm was contagious. 

He chuckled at your words and nodded, “Tu español no es tan malo linda dama!”

“I got nothin’ besides español,'' you shrug. Javier let out another snicker, he seemed to laugh a lot but he was missing the soft wrinkles bracketing his mustache which made you think that maybe this wasn’t his natural state. There was a light silence whilst he sliced the loaf of bread you’d picked from the store. As you were setting the table your book caught your eye from its place on the coffee table and you couldn’t resist trying out some of your newly learnt infant level language. 

“Hola Javier, mi nombre es Y/N. Mi color favorito es el Y/F/C.¡Me gustan los perros!” 

(My name is Y/N, My Favourite colour is Y/F/C. I like dogs!)

Javier turned around his expression; a picture of incredulousness. His eyebrows met in the middle of his forehead, his mustache almost touching his nose as you got a view of his brilliant white teeth in a genuine honest to god grin. If you had a camera, you’d have captured that moment.

“I’ll have to be careful around you, huh, sunshine? These new Spanish skills of yours could get me into trouble.”

“Bailar es divertido!” You exclaim using the only Spanish phrase you know.

“What?...Dancing is fun?... Where the hell did you learn this stuff?”

“Español … para... niños”

“Española para niñas” Javier corrected helpful “Unless you’ve got something you need to tell me...” 

“Damn! The masculine and feminine, they briefly touched upon the theory in Spanish for Kids. It wasn’t as in depth as you might think though.” You joke with a huff. “Hey, do you know where I can get a better translating book?”

“Learning Spanish, huh? How long are you plannin’ on staying exactly?” You jump at the addition of a third voice, Steve appears looking thoroughly rested with his voice two octaves lower than it should be.

“Well ya’ know Stevie, it’s pretty ignorant to not learn a little of the language of the country you’re in.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” Steve points out, you’d hoped he would give in and let it go considering Javier was here. Though seeing as he greeted his partner whilst grabbing a cup of coffee before turning expectantly towards yourself, your chances of skirting around the subject seemed slim. 

“I don’t have any commitments at home, not like I got the hospital waiting for me to come back. So... I’mma stay… ya know … live a little!”

“Gillian? She’s not waiting for you?”

“Nah, I quit.”

“You quit?! It took you fuckin’ ages to get that job.”

“Stevie, If I have to clean up puke in a fucking grocery store once more. I honestly don't think I can take it- don’t look at me like that. Three times is three times too many!” 

“You’re fuckin’ out of your mind. This isn’t a holiday.”

“No, but I need some change, you clearly need to get your ass kicked back in line. We both win! If you help me get a job it’ll be great… I can practically speak Spanish already....” 

“I dispute that.” Javier piped up.

“Shut up.” You say as you throw the tea towel at him. “Look Stevie. Everything’s fine. You were fine with Connie and Olivia being here. I’m a grown ass woman.” There was silence as Javier continued moving around the kitchen, only this lull was a little heavier, you chalk it up to you being the youngest and the only girl in a family with three brothers. God knows they’d been benching you your entire life. 

“Fine.” Steve huffed and sat down at the table as you and Javier served up. The man in question gave you a conspiratorial wink as you passed one another. Nothing more was said on the matter as you tucked into breakfast. Infact, pleasant conversation was kept up all through the meal until it came time for Javier and Steve to go.

“We gotta get into the embassy. Heard rumours the new boss starts soon and we need to get our ducks in a row.” Steve nodded to Javier's words. “You ready to get back in the ring?”

“Been ready for the past two weeks, man. This leave of absence was bullshit”

Steve grabs his coat as you watch expectantly, waiting for your invite to the boys club, that inevitably doesn’t come. Instead you receive a much more in character; “Stay in the apartment, for god sakes Y/N. Just for today. I’ve left my number on the pad if you need me.”

You nod noncommittally and combined with a shrug the action hits its mark as Steve sighs.

“This isn’t funny. Bogotá isn’t safe for you.” You repeat your action, this time without the shrug. He huffs but carries on out of the door, he must have realised that was as much as an acquiescence as he was going to recieve, Javier follows him but stops on the threshold. 

“Te encontraré ese libro, Guapa.” He calls out before closing the door behind him.

“no hablo español, motherfucker!” You shout after him, you vaguely hear his warm chortle as he descends down the stairs. With your legs propped up on the chair in front of you, you huff and look around the room.  The absolute assholes had left you with the washing up. Yeah, feminism was definitely taking a hit during your time in Colombia. 

Apparently the agents hadn’t got the memo about the change in gender roles, you cursed their names as you turned on the radio to some latin music and began the arduous process of cleaning the entire kitchen, including the appliances and counters you hadn’t even used. 

You then moved onto the lounge, hey, if you were going to play the role of housewife, you were going to at least be a good one. You hoovered, reorganised and dusted your ass off for at least three-ish hours before you got bored, abandoning your work for snooping, you were only human after all.  

First you looked in the medicine cabinet and found nothing good, I mean, you don’t know what crazy drugs you were expecting your brother, the DEA agent, to have in his possession but you were crestfallen with the dull discovery of a spare toothpaste, American xanax and ‘aspirina bebé’.

With a lamentful sigh you took your sleuthing into the bedroom, pulling his bedside drawer open with a hesitant hand. You don’t know what dark sexual preferences your brother and Connie may or may not have and you didn’t want to risk permanent scarring. As you open it fully you glance inside remaining tentative, your eyes first fall on the badge left behind. He must have forgotten it. You take it out and place it on the bed beside you as you continue to investigate.

Your hands find a wad of folded yellow notepad paper, the jagged edges have been ripped from the main pad in frustration. Unfolding the wad, you do a once over of the sheet in front of you. The words ‘Dear Connie,’ make you halt in your sted.  Finding a gimp mask or weed was funny, this however crossed a line. So you placed the notes back where you found them, you turned to grab the badge and place it back on top of the pile but as the light shone on the metal an idea sprung to mind.

To say you were famed for your impulse control issues was an understatement. You often acted first with no regard for the consequences, hence your presence in Colombia and your extensive shoe collection. But as you drove your brother's Jeep through the streets of Bogotá, you realised that you may finally push Steve over the edge. Already in too deep you took the final turn, following the map you had spread out on the passenger side and were greeted with the American flag. Eureka. You had taken an embarrassing amount of wrong turns but had finally arrived.

You pulled up to the barrier and smiled at the Colombian guard donned in a dark green uniform. 

“Hola, Agent Murphy DEA asked me to drop off his badge.” You wiggle the object of your deceit in his eye line. 

“Identification?” The guard asked in heavily accented English.  You shut off the car's engine as you turn to your purse and pull your driver's license out and hand it over. He inspects the plastic, looking between you and the ID before nodding and handing it back to you, definitely not a social butterfly.  He then waved to the gentleman controlling the barrier, allowing you access.  

“DEA office is to the right. Personnel only.”

“I’ll be in and out, quick as a flash.” You reassuringly smile at the man and receive only a stony glare in return. Deciding to stop pushing the apparently limitless bounds of your dumb luck you pull through the barrier and into the car park on the right. You park up in what you hope is an unreserved space and hop out of the tall vehicle.

“Right, what's the plan again?” you mumble to yourself as you pause for a second, before starting towards the cream building and hopping up the stairs. You cling to the badge like a life raft, terrified you’ll be stopped as the imposter sight-seerer you are. Now in your defence, you knew this was dumb. Steve had an important job and distracting him wasn’t helpful in the least, but you couldn’t help yourself. Stay inside- like that was ever going to happen.

So you scoured the offices of the embassy for about fifteen minutes before you decided to break and ask for help, finally stopping an american looking woman with large stylish shoulder pads and even bigger hair. 

“I’m looking for the DEA office? Steve Murphy, Javier Peña?”  She seemed to bristle at the mention of the latter.

“Take that elevator to the third floor and it's the third door on the left, but watch out for Peña, he’s a real- '' She cut herself off with a huff, before nodding your way and walking off.

No shit, sister. 

Following the potentially scorned woman's instructions you found yourself in the DEA Bogotá headquarters; only Steve and Javier were nowhere to be seen.  

Fuck.

You looked around the room taking a slight step back getting ready to turn on your heel as an older white haired man entered the room. 

“Hey Newbie, I need two copies of each of these and I need these faxed to the team in Medellín.”

“Uh-”

“I needed them there yesterday, so get to it.” He dumps the two huge piles of files into your arms as you stare at him bemused. Looking back you still don’t know why you didn’t say anything, but you rolled up your sleeves and whipped out that can-do attitude and got to work, at what was apparently your new guerilla admin job. And that is how Javier and Steve found you two hours later, fighting with a fax machine and on the phone to the office in Medellín.

“No- I understand how the machine works… Yes… Yes I’ve turned it off and on, I think the problems on your side… No I don’t- Well Weaver needed the case file there yesterday so you need to figure something out! Yes… Yes I’ll hold. “ You turned when you heard steps behind you, pressing the receiver between your head and your shoulder and holding the fax machine manual. 

“Hey Guys!” You say cheerily, pretending like this was completely normal, like you hadn’t just dropped into Steve’s life and then surprised him every step of the way. 

“What in the hell are you-” Steve started, however the woman on the other side of the phone decided to pick up, you held up one finger to the two of them as a pause. 

“Oh, Hey Salome, It’s no problem… that’s great, I'll give it a try.” You drop the manual and press the green button on the fax machine, the machine begins making the whizzing sound you’d been chasing for the past twenty minutes. “Sounds all good on my end. Right, that's great I’ll send the rest across now. Thanks, have a nice day!”

“Am I high, right now? What the fuck is going on?” Steve’s tone matched his face with the disbelief painted upon it.  He had taken a seat at the desk which just so happened to be next to the fax machine and copier. Javier sat at his own in front of the typewriter with a smirk on his face lighting up a cigarette.

“Uh, well... I came to give you your badge cause’ you forgot it at home and then Weaver asked me to do some copies. Turns out that security here is pretty lax, cause’ I’ve been copying and faxing classified case files for the past two hours and no one seems to know or care that I don’t work here.” Steve’s eye all but twitched as he rubbed at his face. He reached into his bottom drawer and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and began pouring himself a glass.

“Fine.” He actually shrugged after downing the drink in one. Damn, You weren’t sure which had broken him, yourself or Colombia. “Better you’re here where I can keep tabs on you...Javi, can we get her an actual job?”

“I’ll run it by Messina,” Javier shrugged as he stood from behind his desk. “Probably best not to mention the perusal of classified cases though.”

So that’s how the three of you ended up at dinner celebrating your new job four days later, you were officially an office administrator for the DEA in Colombia, heading to the CNP base of operations in Medellín alongside your brother and his partner as their administrator, well, from what you understood, you were their dogsbody.  Your Spanish speaking ability had been greatly exaggerated but you were undeniably overqualified for the position, so, pending a background check you were through doors. 

Your interview with Steve and Javi’s boss; Messina, had been nerve wracking and your Murphy name had won you no favours. 

You’d given it your best and from what you could see you’d managed to convince her you were worth your salt. 

Yep, you’d proved yourself totally capable and more importantly, completely willing to move around 8 hours away to Medellín to live on an army base where a drug cartel was incredibly active. According to Javi this had apparently made you a very appealing hire to the DEA.  As such you were being sent along with the boys to help out on the front line, well, as close to the front line as an admin/dogsbody gets.

The three of your glasses clinked in unison, before you drained your shot with a regretful gasp, Tequila was the devil. 

“Thank you to Javi, for not only saving my sister from her stupidity once, but twice… or is it three times now?!” Steve lifted his second shot as he gave his heartfelt speech. Picking up the lime you’d just sucked the juice out of you launched it at him, missing by some margin. He let out what could only be described as a snigger as both him and Javi threw their second shots back.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you were wasted. 

The three of you had enjoyed a meal and many, many subsequent drinks. Knowing full well the two men had a distinct advantage of having had at least a year to pickle their livers in whiskey from the stress of this place, you had insisted that for every two drinks they had, you had one. . 

Still, six drinks in with no sign of stopping you felt better than you really had any right to. The room had yet to start spinning and for those small mercies, you were thankful.

“Nah, Thankyou to you both! I’ve heard Medellín is lovely this time of year!”

“Well, you won’t know. You’ll be spending all of your time on base, where it’s safe.”

“Steve-”

“Non-negotiable. You wanna come to Medellín, fine. But you do what I say, and no Y/N’s day out like in Bogotá.” 

“Dude, you’re such a buzz-kill!”

“Dude? What are you 15?!” Javier jokes with a cigarette between his lips. You’d been here only a week and yet he’d managed to navigate how to defuse an impending Murphy fight from a mile away.

“You should’a seen her at 15. Those teeth!”

“Ya’ got any pictures?” Javi asks, half distracted with flagging down the waitress and showing her five fingers.

“Really Steve, you wanna go there? After the earring incident?” Javier turns his full attention on you. 

“Murphy had an earring?”

“No-” Steve tries to interrupt.

“Yep, a nice little hoop.”

“I didn’t…”

“It got caught on his windbreaker and he ripped it out of his ear, it got infected.”

“Wind breaker?” Javier was biting his lip and staring at your brother, not really trying so hard to contain his laughter.

“Can’t think why I didn’t want you around, Sis. Look- I was trying something out; It didn’t work, so I moved on.” You wait a beat, allowing Javier to take in the information before you helpfully and without prompt drop a nugget of information for the Hispanic man.

“... He had to go to hospital.” A chortle burst unintentionally from Javier’s chest as your comment caught him by surprise. 

“Y/N!” Steve burst out in frustration, making you cackle with glee.

“Okay, Okay.” You hold your hands in mock surrender as the waitress drops another round of drinks on the table.

“Let’s head over to the discotheque, live music- no Sicario’s. Big with Bogotá policia so very safe.” Javier pitched like he was speaking to a child as he tried to convince Steve. He knew you were in from the excitement that lit up your form.

“I don’t know, dancing-”

“Would be good for you! Come on Steve, this place is closing soon anyway-” You counter, only to be cut off as he frantically looks at his watch. 

“What time is it- I promised I’d phone Con tonight- FUCK!” He stood quickly grabbing the table to steady himself and ran to the phone box just outside of the bar, you could just about see him from where you sat in the window booth besides Javi.

The two of you looked at one another for a moment, you weren’t quite at the level where conversation came easy, but you weren’t uncomfortable by any means.

“Thanks for talking to Messina for me… honestly. You’ve done so much for me since I got here.”

“Like I said, it’s no problem, guapa.” He smiles at you, not a smirk for once but a delighted easy smile that rarely graces his face. “I saw your CV.”

“Oh.” The smile drops off of your face, his eyes analyse your reaction, the easy smile replaced by a sombre expression. 

“Yeah, Oh. You were a doctor, a surgeon? I thought you mopped up vomit in a grocery store in Miami?”

“It’s complicated.” You gave him no further explanation, you expected him to move on, except Javier wasn’t like other people, he didn’t make things easy. He stared at you expectantly with those deep brown questioning eyes.  “Christ, okay. Yes I was in my final year of residency, not quite a surgeon.”

“How does that happen?”

“How does what happen?” You question, you know you’re being difficult but this isn’t something you’ve talked about with Steve, for Godsakes. He did that trick once more, hitting you with those soul-full eyes. 

Honestly, it was lucky you weren’t working for Escobar, forget waterboarding, all Javi would have to do was look at you to get you to give up your darkest secrets. “Things didn’t go my way, I wasn’t happy there. The hours were long and that shit was heavy.” 

He didn’t seem satisfied with your answer but he didn’t push any further, finally respecting your reluctance, he nodded. Stubbing out his cigarette and tilting his head towards the shots he asked “...Another?” 

“Why not?” You reply hesitantly.

Taking the salt you go to shake it onto the back of your hand when a tanned one stops your movement in its wake.

“No, no, no. Let’s do it a little different.” His eyes shot up to where your brother was leaning against the phone booth before he took your hand in his. Adjusting his grip he lifts your wrist to his mouth. Your heart is beating in your ears as you watch as his pink tongue pokes out and laps one, twice at your pulse point. A long line of saliva is left on your wrist as he shakes the salt over it. His eyes meet yours for a moment, as if asking permission. 

You don’t know how you even instruct your brain to nod, but regardless you carry out the action. Javi brings his mouth to your wrist once more in one solid stroke of his talented tongue, your eyes clamp closed as he finishes swiping up the salt before draining both the tequila and lime.

You’re breathing heavy as you open your eyes, to find those mahogany ones laser focused on you.

“You missed a step.” You mumble, your eyes never leaving his as you hold the lime up to his mouth, rind first. His teeth close over it and his lips just barely graze your fingertips. You turn to check on Steve, thankfully your brother has his back to the two of you, deep in conversation with Connie. Probably for the best, given your plan.

You turn sideways to face Javi, lifting one of your legs up onto the booth and bending it at the knee to get a vantage point. The alcohol coursing in your veins gives you the courage as one  hand wraps around his neck and the other his shoulder, you lean forwards to give one long solitary lick up his neck, right on the pulse. You taste his sweat stained skin, salty and warm on your tongue. 

Reaching for the shaker, you apply it liberally, smiling as you drop some of it down his t-shirt. Though from the stare he seemingly refused to remove from you, you don’t think he much cared.  Once you considered your job done, you turned back and pushed his head to the side and began licking the salt from his neck, this time you tortured him with three small cat licks along the flesh, you felt his neck tense as his hand moved from its place on the pleather booth and wrapped around your thigh. 

You reached back to the table and sank your shot. Wincing you turned back to Javier, leaning forward to grab the lime from his mouth. As you did so, he dropped it purposefully, staring directly into your eyes, a clear challenge, before he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you forward locking your lips in a devastating kiss. He tasted of lime, tequila and just Javier; that unexplainable component which was both sweet and smoky. His tongue plundered the depths of your mouth, seemingly uncaring of your brother who was mere metres away. Your hands roved his chest before locking in the short hair on the nape of his neck. 

Unexpectedly it was Javi who broke the kiss. The two of you paused with your foreheads meeting, much like the night you met.  He seemed to be trying to regain control.

“Meet me in the bathroom?” You whisper, rubbing your nose against his beautifully angular hooked one. He breathed out heavily through his nose, his eyes opening and pushing you away by your shoulders.

“No, I’m not gonna fuck you in the fucking bathrooms of a filthy fucking bar- are you crazy?” Behind his eyes a rage and arousal battled, apparently you had rattled him with your question, he reached forward for his whiskey, and took a sip whilst shaking his head and trying to centre himself. “I’m giving you whiplash? Yeah that’s real cute. You change what you want every single fuckin’ day, then look at me like I’m a dick.”

You supposed he had a point, after all you had been the one to ask for the redo and then stared at him longingly every day since. “It’s not an easy situation to navigate, ok? I came here for Steve-”

“You didn’t come here for Steve.” He uttered under his breath, staring straight ahead with his elbow perched on the table and holding the glass to his mouth.

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t come here for Steve, not completely. You came here for you.”

“That’s not-” Javier turns to you, locking you down with his gaze. It was easy to forget he was a cop; observative and attentive to a fault, he could call your bullshit from a mile away. 

“Everything you’ve done since you got here, that’s not for him. You’re desperate for some life back in those veins. You don’t just give up being a fuckin’ surgeon and feel fulfilled with your position at a fuckin’ grocery store, Sunshine.”

“Wow, you’ve got me pegged, huh? No wonder they’ve got you after Escobar, best detective on the fucking case.” You roll your eyes refusing to look at him, sipping a beer as a way of hiding how he’s unnerved you. Everything he’s saying true and you’re ashamed of yourself.

“You don’t come down to the embassy if you’re trying to make your brother's life easier. I’m not criticizing Guapa, but how about cutting the bullshit messiah complex.”

You’re embarrassed and trying to look anywhere but him. His hand reaches for your own as Steve rounds the corner, the tanned fingers instead lock around the shot glass in front of you. 

“So, what’d I miss?”  Your voice is lodged in your throat, you don’t think you could speak even if you could think of the words you wanted to use. Javi answers in some nondescript way you don’t even really listen to before ordering another round of drinks.

“Y/N/N, You alright?” Steve asked, ever the concerned brother.

(your nickname)

“Yeah, Javi- uh, he saw my cv.” It wasn’t a complete lie but you still feel bad for using past trauma to make your brother skirt around the issue in the way you knew he would.

“Oh, Uh… Drink?” Steve stared at you, uneasy. 

“Yeah, a drink would be great.” Your voice is monotone to even your ears, you reach forward and down the beer in front of you, desperate for this awkwardness to be over and the feeling in the pit of your stomach to vanish. You’re happy to say after around ten minutes of the two men holding up the conversation, it atleast eases slightly.

There’s a lull as you all wait drinks arrive and you have managed to regain your basic motor skills. This is the selfishness Javi is talking about. Steve needs a good night, without feeling crappy about his damaged sister stealing the lime-light. So putting your best foot forward you look across to Javi and smile.

“So, how was Connie?”

“She’s good! She’s enjoying getting back to work, her sister’s having Liv during the day.” Guilt swells in your stomach once again. You should be there making Connie’s life easier, but instead you abandoned her to play the hero in Colombia. The shame spiral is slowly clawing at your stomach, as you force yourself to take a deep breath. 

“That’s good…” You’re saved by the bell, or rather the waitress bringing over the tray of beverages. Taking your beer first, you reach across and controversially take two of the shots. Both men chuckle at your bravado as Javi asks the woman for an extra shot.

The night continued on much like that, minus the regret whirlwind as the tequila seemed to help get rid of any real self reflection. The three of you didn’t even make it to the discotheque, as by the time the bar closed, the three of you began the short walk home, you were carrying the large box of pizza that you had insisted on ordering.

Surprisingly, Steve was the drunkest of your trio. His phone call with Connie had sent him into his own spiral. He began drinking tequila like it was water, to the point Javier had thrown in the towel, deciding he’d much rather like to live to see tomorrow. So with your pizza in one arm and your other wrapped around your brother's waist, you and Javi half carried Steve home and up the stairs into the apartment. 

The two of you unceremoniously dumped him on his bed, carefully you placed the pizza box you had cradled to your breast on the chest of drawers before you stepped forward past Javier. 

You pulled Steves boots off of his feet and pulled his legs up onto his bed, taking his belongings out his pockets; yes, including his gun, you placed them on the bedside table. You then placed a glass of water and an aspirin next to them, feeling sympathy for his head tomorrow morning. 

Happy that your job was done, you shut the light off and went into the living room, once again cradling the pizza. Javier was slouched on the sofa/your bed flicking through your Spanish introduction book, as you entered the room he threw it back on the table and pointed at the empty whiskey bottle on the coffee table.

“Got any more?”

“Think, that was his last one…” you shrug.

“Come down to mine for a drink? I don’t like how we left things.”

“No more talking?” Javier looks at you reproachfully, scanning your body as if the direct proposition you’d accidentally given him was the last thing he expected. “Uh- I mean- no more hard questions and no more...touching.”

“Alright.” He nods, pushing himself up with a sigh. “But if there’s no more touching, I get half of that pizza Sunshine.”

You nod and smile, following him down the stairs to his apartment. As you cross the threshold emboldened by tequila, you don’t dwell on your self destructive tendencies as Javier’s recent comments would’ve made you if you were sober. 

You’re tired and all you want is a drink of whiskey, some pizza and for Javier to give you that smile, the one that makes the side of his mustache raises and reveals the pearly white of his teeth. Dropping the pizza down on the coffee table you make yourself at home, sitting very deliberately on the couch he hadn’t screwed someone else on. If he notices, Javi didn’t say anything. 

He hurried over, cigarette balanced in between his lips as both hands were taken up. One holding two glasses and the other cradling the whiskey. He sits himself down with considerably more grace than you had, on the other sofa. You reach down the side of the sofa where you spy the remote peeking out from beneath the leather cushion and begin skimming through the channels until you find the telenovelas you'd unironically begun watching since arriving in Colombia.

Opening the box of Pizza, you take a slice and begin devouring the meal. It’s not quite like pizza as you know it, but it's tasty and full of carbs to soak up the alcohol so you can’t find a fault with it.  The two of you eat in silence for around half an hour.

It seemed neither of you were eager to break the silence after the daunting conversation from earlier. It’s as you’re taking your first sip of whiskey watching two women argue in Spanish on the television you decide to speak.

“I figure I owe you some answers.”

“You don’t owe me shit, Sunshine.” He’s leaning back in his seat, whiskey balancing on his knee and a fresh smoke in his hand.  “Sure I’m intrigued, but I'll figure you out in the end. Miami’s own angel of death?”

You chuckle at how close to the mark he is as he makes a shot in the dark. “I’m gonna need a refill if we’re gonna talk about our feelings…”

“Feelings… woah, woah, woah. I didn’t sign up for that.” He has a brazen smirk on his face, as he takes the now empty glass from your palm and fills it up. You down a second and he repeats the task.

“I killed a kid,” You wheeze as you wince from the burn turning your head towards the television and nursing the now full whiskey glass between your hands. “You asked why I gave up becoming a surgeon. I... I was the lead resident on a fuckin’ appendectomy. I could do that shit in my sleep. I perfed the abdominal wall as I was geting ready to close him up; a tiny fucking knick. There were no bleeders and his vitals remained normal, didn’t even notice I’d done it.  It was as they were taking him back to the ward, he just crashed.”  

You finish another glass and as your eyes water, you pretend it's the burn of the alcohol. You breathe heavy, your upper lip quivering. You’ve heard of the sensation but never felt it. 

“I froze. I opened him up in the lift, by the time I got back in there, he’d bled out. A twelve year old; Justin Miller. Just a fucking kid.” Javi doesn’t try to interrupt or make you feel better, which honestly made the whole thing easier. 

“His mom sued the shit out of me and the hospital, can’t say I blame her. I took a sabbatical and when it was time to go back, I couldn’t. Couldn’t go into the OR without having a fuckin’ panic attack.” You hadn’t met Javi’s eyes for the entirety of the one-sided conversation, scared that when you looked up you’d no longer find those treacle eyes filled with warmth. 

Silence fills the air for a devastating second whilst Javier digests your words.

“You fucked up.” He mumbled finally,  your eyes shot up to his own and within the pools of chocolate you found his usual warmth, though his customary jovial expression was suddenly somber. Such an expression looked strange on the gentle man you’d come to know, but you knew it was far from out of place. “In our line of work, you mess up; someone dies. It’s not fair or easy, just is what it is.”

You don’t have a word for the noise you make, somewhere between a scoff and a gasp. You chuckle as his response to years of complex trauma you’ve never recovered from is boiled down to five simple words.

“It is what it is.” You repeat disbelieving.

“Can’t change the past. Useless to try.”

“Stuff it down with the brown?” You ask, lifting your empty glass in a cheers.

“Exactly, Guapa.” He unscrewed the whiskey bottle and began pouring you a generous portion. As he’s screwing the lid back on he sits back down, this time though he’s on the couch next to you. “Maybe someday I’ll get teary and we can talk about my fuck ups.”

Your only response is to punch at his hard thigh next to you as you take a long sip, thinking about the information you’d willingly just divulged to Javi.  “I’ve never talked about that before.”

“Not with Steve?”

“Not with anyone. I was ashamed for a long time, still am. But it’s different now; more manageable.”

“Ready to operate then, Doctor Murphy?”

“Asshole.” You say with a reluctant smile to the joke at your own expense.

“pendejo” he leaned back on the sofa as he translated. 

“pen-dejo?”

“Si muy bueno.”

“Another!” 

“Coger!”

“Co-g-er?”

“Si insistes…” He trails off with a smirk.

“You’re a dick.” 

“Yes, I am.”

After placing your drink on the coffee table, you lean over to Javi slowly, refusing to break eye contact, all the while and you lay your head on the plush leather of the sofa; nearer his shoulder than his own face. 

“Thankyou, Javi.” 

“I keep telling you, Sunshine. It’s nothing”

“It’s everything,” You close the distance and place a kiss on his lips. It’s neither heavy nor chaste, like when he initiated them. This is full of meaning, It speaks of letting go of the past and welcoming the future, it's deep and warm and delicious. Your tongue licks at his own as your hand rises to rest on his cheek holding him there, you explore the depths of his mouth instead of conquering them. He tastes of the whiskey and somehow residual tequila, you find yourself getting drunk off of the taste of him. 

Pulling away you rest your forehead against his own. “I’m so tired… and drunk.”

“Sleep with me.”

“Javier, you said- I mean, I don’t think-”

“No, sleep. Just sleep... with me. Gotta be better than the couch up there,”

“No funny business?”

“Scouts honor.”  After a moment of contemplation you decide that this was specifically breaking the rules of your selfishness, the tequila may have altered your perception of the rules somewhat but you had wanted this man for so long. After your emotional confession, falling asleep next to him seemed cathartic.

You take the remote once more and click the red power button, the screen goes black as Javier has already disappeared into his bedroom. You hear him rummaging around in his drawers as you cross the threshold. Once he’s seemingly found what he was looking for, he holds the article up to your inspecting eye. 

It’s a plain olive green v-neck tee, nothing particularly special about it, but it would do as pyjamas, so you accept it gratefully, much preferring a tshirt to the sundress you’d worn out to dinner. You push the straps off of your shoulders, letting them fall under your armpits as you clutch the dress to your front. You pull Javier's t-shirt over your head and are greeted by the fragrance you’d come to love. It smelt like washing powder, spice and cigarette smoke, you wouldn’t say smoke was on your top tier of smells list but it reminded you of Javi so you couldn’t bring yourself to turn your nose up at it. 

Once the shirt was covering all the important bits, you lowered your dress and stepped out of the offending cloth. 

“A little late for modesty, eh?” He smirks as he lights his cigarette, leaning against the pillows of the bed. He was referring to the morning after you’d arrived in Colombia, where you’d walked through this very apartment, bare as the day you were born. 

At some point Javi had rid himself of his dress shirt and dropped onto the bed still wearing his jeans. You shimmy your bra down the sleeve of the tee, to make a point. Winking at him as you finally pull it free. You fling it on top of where your dress lay abandoned. 

“You’re still a perv for that.” You smile fondly at the man as you clamber over to your side of the bed. He’d taken the left, closest to the door. He doesn’t reply as you make yourself cosy, under the thin blanket of the duvet.

You roll over to face him, he seems to be miles away. 

“Where’d you go?” You ask softly, though he startles still. 

“I’m right here,” He deflects, leaning over to the ash tray to stub the smoke out.

“Ok…” You roll your eyes as he turns off the lamp and lies flat on the bed next to you. The two of you are silent for a while. It’s not quite awkward but it's definitely not comfortable silence, the two of you know the implications of your decision tonight. Even if Javi is being a perfect gentleman. Your eyes have yet to acclimate to the dark as you stare out trying to search for his form. 

“Stop staring at me.”

“It’s dark, I’m not staring at anything.” You reply to his childish remark. You hear a chuckle catch in his throat. He seems then to have finally made his decision, he reaches forward and wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you to his chest. You go to stop him, but there's nothing to stop. He makes no further move as he holds you there. Your cheek rests on the overheated skin of his pectoral, it has just enough give to be comfier than any pillow you’ve ever encountered. 

“Maybe, I’ll tell you about my fuck ups one day.” He whispers into your hair, despite the way he says it being non-committal there's a promise behind the words. You don’t reply, already drifting off into the best sleep you’ve had since arriving in Colombia, or perhaps ever. 

A part of your brain registers Javi placing a kiss on the crown of your head as your eyes finally shut, though it is quickly replaced by the singular thought of ‘God, I hope I don’t drool all over him.

                                                       “You sober?” You look up at the clock on the bedside table that reads 5am. You’d been asleep for about four hours. You make a non committal noise in your throat. 

“Javi?” You mumble sleepily, the man behind you is peppering kisses on your neck.

“You want this?” Again you groan, this time however, you nod your head. His arm rises to wrap around your neck, arching your back to get you closer to him. “Do you want this?”

“God yes.” You gasp, pushing your hips back against his bulge. His hands release your stomach as he kisses down your neck once more. His hands are hard on your flesh as they map out your body in the dark.

His hands continue to roam your body as they slide under his shirt, they land on your breasts, he can’t help himself as he weighs them in his hand. He groans in your ear at the feel of them in his palm. You’d always had Javier down as an ass man, he’d nearly burnt a hole through your jeans the night you’d met. But apparently Javi was a man of many tastes as he worshiped your nipple with the pads of his fingers, rolling the sensitive bud through his thumb and forefinger. 

You groan at the sensation and push yourself back into him, desperate to feel every inch of his body against your own. You pull away suddenly and he makes a guttural sound in the back of his throat, though all of his questions are answered as you pull his shirt over your head and throw the offensive fabric across the room. As Quick as a flash he’s back on you, his mouth attached to your neck, giving you absolutely no quarter. 

He’s the one bucking into you this time and that seems to awaken part of your brain, your hands reach behind you they’re clumsy from sleep and the angle you have is awkward, you struggle with the button of his jeans for a second before his hand leaves one of your breasts to undo it for you. His hand returns as quickly as it left though it doesn't stay there for long as it slowly roves south, stroking the flesh of your stomach and making your entire being tighten up in anticipation as he feels you through your boy shorts. His touches are light at first, testing and exploring your body, before his fingers begin teasingly rubbing at your clit seeming to delight in the way, your wetness seeped through your underwear.

You force your brain back to the task at hand as your hand finds his abdomen and lowers through the hair lurking below his zipper, mimicking the actions he had performed on you moments before, however you have no intention of teasing. 

They find their mark, and you have to stop yourself from gasping. You’d felt him on the sofa that night but my god, your imagination hadn’t done him justice as your hand just about closed around him as you pumped him awkwardly behind you. He groaned in your ear and began whispering in a blend of Spanish and English.

His hands rise to dip under your panties, they brush across your mound before they find their home. His fingers barely touch you at first, seeming to be getting the lay of the land. After a moment of teasing, a single solitary finger swipes slowly along your slit, gathering the evidence of your arousal on his fingers. 

He groaned in your ear. “So fucking wet, that sweet little cunt is so ready for me…” Instantaneously you lose all motor skills as your body goes into shock, Javier’s dirty mouth would be the death of you.

Fucksake Y/N he wasn’t even inside of you, yet here you were writhing in his arms like a wanton whore from a single sentence. 

Your reaction seemed to spur him on as he let go of your body and rolled you onto your back. He swung around on his knees to fit between your legs. His hands rested on your hips, gripping onto the panties that lay there before he rolled them down your legs and threw them behind him. He leaned forward on his elbows, to stare at the most intimate part of you. 

Javi began kissing down your thighs, placing small bites along the sensitive skin along the way, getting closer and closer to the throbbing warmth of your pussy. 

“I meant what I said, cariño. I want to know how you taste.” Your mind is brought back to that church, the way he had you pushed against those bars, you didn’t think your body could constrict any further. You were desperate for any kind of contact. And you knew right there and then that you had been right; This man would destroy you. 

He struck then, much like a cobra towards his prey. His tongue flattened against your warmth, breaching your folds and catching on your clit.  The tip of his tongue was skilled as it danced along your bud, drawing cry after cry from you as your hands grabbed at his short ink black hair. 

He takes one final lap at your swollen clit before his tongue goes lower, he pushes through and sinks his tongue inside of you. His nose, that you’d appreciated for its character bumped perfectly against your clit making stars shoot behind your eyes.  You clenched around his tongue, desperate to be filled, he seemed to get the message as two fingers were quickly buried in your aching hole. 

“So fucking tight,  Guapa, I don’t know if I can fit three...te lo vas a tomar tan bien.” His tongue had risen back up to your clit, the combination of the vibration and filth of his words made a whimper drop from your lips, before he started rotating his tongue in circles around your swollen bud as his two fingers pumped in and out of your cunt at a thundering pace drawing you closer and closer to the edge as the minutes went by.

Finally, his fingers curled inside you as he sucked your clit into his mouth and all at once you were pushed off the cliff. You couldn’t tell what pushed you over that first peak so quickly, maybe it was the fact that it was Javier, the man who had been plaguing your dreams since you arrived in Colombia, currently between your legs devouring your cunt like a starving man, perhaps it was a culmination of five days of foreplay, but whatever the reason, when you fell, you fell fucking hard. 

You clenched around Javi’s fingers like a vice, so much so he hissed into your pussy and began thrusting his fingers faster. Spots clouded your vision as your whole body curved upwards and around the man giving you this pleasure as your legs clamped around his head and your fingers must have scratched his scalp as your hips thrust, riding his face to your peak. You were as taut as bowstring before the tension finally snapped and your body exploded in euphoria. You let out a cry as you crescendo on Javi's talented tongue.

He didn’t stop straight away, even after your body slumped back against the bed, he coaxed you through the aftermath of your orgasm, lapping at your entrance and drinking your come like it was the most delicious wine he’d ever sampled, groaning all the while.

Finally, he pushed himself forward, kissing at your thighs, your mound and finally your stomach as he came to rest over you, holding all his weight on his elbows. His face met your own as he kissed you deep, fucking your mouth with his tongue as he had done your pussy moments before. He leans back rubbing at your stomach, at your hips, at any flesh he can get his hands on. 

“Sabes mejor de lo que podría haber imaginado precioso.” He whispers against your breast as his mouth locks around your nipple. Javier Peña speaking Spanish did things to you, even if he hadn’t been stimulating your breasts you knew for a fact you’d be just as wet from hearing him speak in what you could only assume was a first language from the ease with which it left his mouth. You wished more than anything you could understand what was undoubtedly the filth coming from his mouth. 

You had recovered enough from his assault on your clit, to move your hands from your sides. They raised up and traced the tanned skin on his chest. He really was beautiful. He pulled back to stare at you, giving you a clearer view of his body.

He was muscled yet lithe and you took a self indulgent moment, committing the sight of him to memory, before your hands wrapped around his cock, which was standing to full attention through the undone zip of his jeans. He was what must have been unbearably hard, if you’d have had light to see, you had no doubt the head of his cock would be purple, straining with need. You pushed his jeans further down, recruiting your feet to push them down over his ass. Your hands roamed down to squeeze at the bountiful offering of meaty flesh. 

He chuckled as you pinched his cheek, before lifting his knees one at a time and kicking his jeans off of the bed and before you knew it he was lining himself up, brushing the head of his cock through your wet folds. Despite his groan at the contact, he had the discipline to check a final time. “This is what you want, Y/N?”

You didn’t bother to answer, you pushed his hand away from his cock, and pushed it towards your hole. You pushed your hips up against him in lieu of an answer, welcoming the head of his cock inside you. Even though all you could manage was shallow entry, the feel of him inside of you was glorious. 

 His hands, those talented, glorious hands found your own, wrapping his significantly larger ones around yours above your head. He pushed forward with one strong thrust of those lithe hips and he buried himself balls deep inside of you, rooted so deep you swear you could feel him in your cervix. He was everywhere, he was plundering every inch of you as his body surrounded your own, heat built between the two of you as sweat began coating both of your bodies. 

Every thrust brought you closer to your second peak, turning your head you couldn’t resist trying to get him to claim your mouth too. Though you couldn’t quite reach far enough to make contact, as if reading your mind Javier bent his elbow pushing his torso forward, coincidently pounding deeper into your body as your lips joined in a messy kiss.  He was fucking into you slow and deep, his tongue began following the rhythm of his cock as he claimed every single part of you as his own. 

The pace was brutally slow, just enough to get you to that edge and keep you on it, you could barely speak. You felt like you were drowning in Javier and every time you came up for air he bottomed out, meeting your hips with his own and the wave of pleasure cut off the oxygen all over again.

“Please… Javi…”

“W-what do you want Sunshine?” He panted out continuing with his slow tempo.

“Faster...please... God.” He ignored your cry for speed and continued fucking you into the matress at his own pace, though his thrusts were just as slow but they were harder. His hips hit against your own, as he put all of his power behind them, getting as deep as he could. If you didn’t know better you’d think he was trying to tunnel through to your womb. You clenched at the thought as he fucked you deep and hard. 

“... Javi…” You cried his name, a desperate plea as he kept you suspended over your peak, refusing to let you free fall. Finally he huffed, taking your legs and throwing them over his shoulders.

“You want me to fuck you properly, huh, Guapa?” He began thrusting into you at an arduous pace, the room was filled with your cries, his grunts and slapping of your connecting skin. Those telling black spots were clouding your vision, your second orgasm of the evening was fast approaching. Once again you clenched down on Javi’s thick cock. 

“I’m gonna’ come.” His hand lowered and began rubbing at your clit, not pausing for a moment as he fucked you thoroughly. 

“ven por mí...ven sobre mi polla… fuckin’ Sunshine, fucking taking my cock…. buena niña, podría follarte todo el día.” The second he lost his brain and began muttering in Spanish was the moment you were gone. You came for the second time as he was relentlessly hammering into you, drawing your orgasm from you. Your whole body braced against him, your eyes squeezed shut as you clamped down around his cock, milking him tightly.

“Fuck!” He growled at the tightness surrounding him. 

After a few moments he pulled out, quickly grabbing your and flipping you onto your stomach, after placing a pillow under your hips. He then buried himself back inside of you to the hilt his groans mixing with your own at the sensation. He kept up the pace he had before but this time the angle was deeper as he forced your legs together with his thighs. 

Javi’s hands grabbed at your ass (perhaps he was an ass man after all) slapping the meaty flesh which resided there and then instantly kneaded the tissue he’d just abused. His hands rose to carresse the skin of your hips before he took a punishing grip on them and began fucking you in earnest. Javier taking his pleasure from your body whilst you lay a drooling mess from the orgasm he’d already gave you was an image you didn’t know would turn you on, but it made you clench around his shaft as it plundered your depths. 

He began speaking again, though they were lost in a mix of Spanish and English, so much so you couldn’t differentiate. His pace was relentless and finally you felt him begin to shake as he gasped above you

“¿dónde?...w...where?”

“Come inside me, Javi.” He groaned at words and continued pounding until his hips stuttered and he brought it home and buried himself deep inside, filling you to the brim with his seed.  

The two of you lay there breathing heavy trying hard to get your breath back, half of his weight on top of you and the other half resting on the mattress.His cock was slowly going soft inside of you, yet you felt no urgency to move.

“So much for scouts honor, huh?” You ask from behind a veil of hair, turning your face which had been buried in the mattress moments before. Your voice is hoarse; completely wrecked much like the rest of you. 

He’s silent for a moment of consideration, before he leans forward in the moonlight and pushes your hair from your face. The action makes his cock shift inside of you and a little of his release spills out onto your thighs. He continues anyway and places a soft kiss on your lips before whispering “... I was never a boy scout, cariño.”

TAGLIST - Leave a message if you’d like to be added homies.

@drinkingwhileblogging @va-guardianhathaway  @jedi-jesi @obsessivelysearching @cannedsoupsucks @wantingtobekorra @littlemissoblivious @linnie0119 @pascalesque @pedrosmustache @sir-lili @obsessivelysearching @fairytale07

A/N: Fuck me that was the steamest shit I’ve ever written. This was especially for @drinkingwhileblogging and her turquoise titties, hope this makes up for me blue balling you all. 

#javier pena x reader #javier peña #javier peña x reader #narcos fic #narcos fanfiction #murphy!reader #FUCKING SMIRK AT ME MORE JAVI I SWEAR TO GOD T-T #pedro pascal x reader

[cloudywriter]

camp staghorn - 1

Okay here is the official first chapter of Camp Staghorn! I know it’s long and maybe not the most entertaining but gotta have that building up first. Now things will start to pick up just you wait. Thank you for all the love on the snippet too! Let me know if you would like to be tagged!

my masterlist

~~~

Aelin sighed as she finally got off the bright yellow bus, her three bags weighing heavily on her arms and shoulder. The sun was already high in the sky and beating down despite Terrasen’s usually mild temperatures. Lysandra hopped down on the gravel path the bus had stopped in front of with a huff, Dorian and Elide followed. 

They were all about to spend the next week as camp counselors for a huge group of kids all in 1st-6th grade. She was just glad they had 6th graders. While Aelin loved kids but she wasn’t particularly looking forward to what she knew would be a long and tiring week. But, being a camp counselor would look great for her college applications. It was the summer right before their senior year, school had ended only a week prior. 

A number of other people who looked around her age shuffled about the area already convening into their respective friend groups. A few sat around old wooden picnic tables that were set up outside of the camp’s entrance. A huge sign was erected overhead with the words Camp Staghorn painted in white block letters. 

Chaol finally exited the bus and came to stand by Aelin.

“Really, Aelin? Three bags?” Chaol commented, shifting his singular black, duffel bag on his shoulder. 

Aelin shrugged, “I didn’t know what all I would need.”

Chaol only half-heartedly shook his head. Although Aelin and Chaol had broken up in the middle of junior year their relationship was still relatively amicable. 

Lys quickly shoved between Aelin and Chaol. “Aelin, look!” She whispered loudly into Aelin’s ear, pointing towards a group of boys occupying the grass near the entrance. 

At that, Aelin perked up, especially when she laid eyes on the group. Seriously, four of some of the best-looking high school boys she had ever seen were huddled there. 

A boy with tan, golden skin and blonde curly hair piled on his head seemed to be the focal point of the group, Aelin could hear his voice all the way where she was but couldn’t discern what he was saying. The boy immediately next to him looked to be his brother but with a brown mop of hair instead. Two other boys were there too, one with long, straight brown hair and a grumpy demeanor radiating off of him. The other boy was who Aelin really noticed though, his hair was a unique blonde, it appeared almost silver and was cut shorter, his skin had a healthy glow. He was in the circle with the other boys but she could tell his mind wasn’t. He was looking out at the expansive, blue lake that could be seen just through the trees with a thoughtful, pensive stare on his features. 

Dorian stepped up behind Aelin, following Lys’s finger to the gathering of boys. 

“Oh, they go to Mistward High. Chaol and I have had a few lacrosse games against them,” Dorian offered nonchalantly. 

“They’re gorgeous,” Lys giggled. 

Aelin shoved Lysandra’s shoulder playfully, “You’re dating my cousin!”

“I know, I know, but maybe you could have a summer camp fling. Oh, my gods! Like Camp Rock, you hear him singing your song, or whatever happened, and boom it’s love at first sight.” Aelin laughed and rolled her eyes. 

At her laugh, the silver-haired boy turned his eyes in her direction and they made brief eye contact, Aelin gave him a small smile and the boy looked away immediately. Well, that was rude. 

A man suddenly stepped up onto one of the empty picnic tables, a clipboard in hand. His hat was embroidered with Camp Staghorn and he wore a matching t-shirt in a deep green hue. 

“Alright, everyone listen up please!” He clapped his hands a few times to grab everyone’s attention. 

“My name is Gavriel, I’m the director of Camp Staghorn so if you have any questions, comments, or concerns I’m the guy to come to. Now, you all have signed off on behaving and being camp counselors who will set a good example but let’s just go over a few ground rules. First, no funny business between boys and girls camps especially at night, stay in your cabins after lights out. Second, remember to clean up after yourselves and your campers. Third, stay on top of your respective schedules. And really, just use common sense please, you’re all seniors you know the difference between right and wrong I don’t want to have to stand up here and list out a bunch of rules for a bunch of hypothetical scenarios, understood?”

A few head nods and murmurs of yes rippled through the crowd. 

“Great, then I’ll skip over that, you all know what’s expected of you. I’m going to call up names and give you a packet and a t-shirt. In that packet will be a list of your campers, your camp number, your cabin number, a map, and your camp’s schedule for the next week. The schedules are very packed so remember to stay on top of things, okay?”

More nods and murmurs of acknowledgment. 

Gavriel began to call names and people milled up to him to grab their new belongings. 

“Fenrys Moonbeam.” A few snickers went through the group and the blonde boy from earlier proudly made his way up to Gavriel. 

A few more names were called, Aelin remembered hearing the other two boys were named Lorcan and Connall but she was focused on learning the silver-haired boy’s name. 

“Rowan Whitethorn.” At that, the boy - Rowan - approached the table. Aelin thought the name fit him. 

“Elide Lochan.” Elide quickly made her way to Gavriel as Dorian, Chaol, and Lysandra got called too. 

“Aelin Galathynius.” Aelin made her way up, her heavy bags hitting her legs as she walked. She acquired the packet and shirt from Gavriel. 

A list of around twelfth names of girls looked back at Aelin. She skimmed them and saw written across the top was her camp number and cabin number with her schedule and map attached. Camp number 6 and cabin 3B. Lys peeked over Aelin’s shoulder.

“Oh, good you have 3B, Elide has 2B and I have 4B.” 

Aelin smiled but the three girls were a little put out when they noticed their schedules didn’t really align besides the designated meal times. “What are Dorian and Chaol’s cabins?”

“I don’t know they were in the E ones, they put the boys and girls on opposite sides,” Elide answered. Aelin nodded her head. 

“Okay, everyone should have everything now. The kids should arrive in about an hour, so make your way to your cabins and get dressed in your camp shirts. Then we will have a get-to-know-you activity and a little kick-off game when everyone arrives,” Gavriel spoke again.

Once they were dismissed everyone headed towards the cabins and mentally prepared themselves for an incoming army of children. 

+++

The introductions had gone fairly well, Aelin could probably name at least seven of the girls’ names off the top of her head. They all appeared friendly and like they would be a solid group, Aelin found herself looking forward to the week surprisingly. 

The girls and Aelin had all gotten settled in their cabin and were dressed in matching deep green shirts with the number 6 printed largely in white on the back. They made their way to the center of the camp which accommodated a large wooden stage and matching benches lined up around it in a semi-circle. It was clear at some point the stage and benches had been painted with bright colors and patterns but the paint had begun to peel off with time. 

Aelin directed the girls to all sit on the middle bench in the third row as she surveyed the area, looking for any sign of Elide and Lysandra. Most groups were finishing up their introduction games and convening in the main area now as instructed. 

Elide appeared from around a group of trees, her girls trailing closely behind. Aelin smiled when she saw her and waved her over. They all quickly settled in and waited for the second part of the day to start. 

“I’m already sweating through this shirt,” Elide sighed, fanning herself with the packet given to them earlier. 

“Do you know what the kick-off game is?” Aelin asked Elide curiously. 

Elide only shook her head.

A few minutes passed and the benches started to get pretty packed with people all chatting noisily. 

A cough into a mic alerted everyone, a dozen heads shifted towards the stage. 

“Alright, I believe we have all the 6th-grade groups here so why don’t we get started,” Gavriel spoke with enthusiasm. 

“So, get ready boys and girls for the great Staghorn mud race! Groups will be pinned against groups, boys vs. girls until there’s only one undefeated girl’s team and one undefeated boy’s team remaining and then we will have the final throw down!”

A few whoops went through the crowd. Fenrys was close to the stage pumping his arm in the air, hyping up his collection of young boys. 

“Follow me to the track and we will announce the beginning brackets!” Gavriel hopped off of the stage, he and a few other officials of the camp led the way down a dirt path steering away from the stage. 

They all stopped after a short trek, huddled around a middle strip of field complete with obstacles. 

“Here you can see what you’ll have to face. First, you have to high knee through the tires, then climb up the wooden wall using the rope and slide down the net on the other side, next crawl through one of the tunnels, and hop from log stump to log stump and book it to the finish line! Of course, you have to do all of that in slippery mud, it will be messy. The first team to get their counselor and all their campers through wins and moves on to the next round,” Gavriel explained. 

Aelin could feel the anticipation and eagerness radiating off of counselors and kids alike. Even Aelin was feeling excited, her overly competitive nature boiling to the surface. 

Aelin swiftly turned to her small army of 12-year-olds. “Okay, girls, I want every single one of you to be booking it the whole way through, we will come out the winners at all costs, I don’t do losing.”

The girls looked up at Aelin with wide eyes, many nodding their agreement.

“Oh, I forgot to mention the overall winning camp gets ice cream after dinner tonight!” Gavriel interjected.

The stakes were high, not only was Aelin competitive to a fault but she also loved sweets. “Yup, that only confirms it, no losing!” 

“We’ll give it our all, promise,” spoke one of her campers. A girl with long brown hair contained in two long braids named Borte, if Aelin remembered correctly. 

Aelin smiled, “That’s the spirit,” and offered Borte a high-five. 

Gavriel called out the first two camp numbers, both boy groups, that would be competing. 

Aelin watched the match closely, noting areas she thought seemed best to avoid and strategizing in her mind. After the race concluded two other camps occupied the starting line, those being made up of girls. 

A few more matches came to a close when Dorian and Chaol’s respective groups were called up. Aelin, Lys, and Elide all gave a little whoop, Aelin patted Dorian on the back as he passed her, he flashed back a dazzling smile. 

Unfortunately, one of the boys on Dorian’s team fell in the mud and tripped a good number of his fellow campmates, wrecking Dorian’s chances of winning as Chaol and his boys slipped by. 

“C’mon Dorian!” Aelin screamed, cupping her hands around her mouth. A few of her girls did the same, encouraging them to get a move on despite them not knowing Dorian; it made Aelin smile. Chaol’s team took the victory and Dorian trudged past Aelin in defeat, his body covered in mud. 

At one point Fenrys’ camp and Rowan’s camp went against each other. Aelin subconsciously watched that match like a hawk. Rowan was fast despite the mud and the t-shirt he had changed into seemed to be a bit small, it clung to his upper body, highlighting his muscles. Not to mention, the green complimented his hair and skin tone beautifully. 

Rowan was effective in herding his campers through the course, offering a helping hand and encouragement the whole way through unlike Fenrys who completed the obstacles first and resolved to yell at his campers to hurry. Unsurprisingly, Rowan and his camp crossed the finish line as a unit, Fenrys did not look happy but Aelin saw Rowan crack a smile, it was small but it was there.

As time went on both Lys and Elide had gone. Elide’s group had lost against a random camp while Lys had won. 

“Alright, last up for the beginning bracket we have camp 6 and camp 9!”

Aelin cracked her knuckles, she had been waiting for camp 6 to be called impatiently. 

“Okay, girls, now is our time to shine. Get out there and make me proud, remember stick to the sides, the middle seems to be the most slippery. If you slip it's okay just get right back up, don’t leave anyone behind.” All of them nodded in response. 

“Hands in,” Aelin said, sticking her hand in the middle of the huddle, “On 3, 1, 2, 3!”

As Aelin yelled three she and all her campers screamed camp 6 and raised their hands in the air and then took their spot on the starting block. 

The counselor of the opposing team seemed snooty, her nose was upturned as if she couldn’t believe she would have to get dirty in a few seconds. Her bright, almost white, blonde hair was braided down her back and she had her arms crossed. 

Aelin didn’t have a chance to say anything before Gavriel blew his whistle signaling the start of the race. 

Aelin exploded forward, focusing on her footing as she went. Luckily, she was athletic and had played a multitude of sports, including track, throughout the years. Aelin easily made her way through the rows of tires, turning back to check her girls’ progress. They all were keeping up and moving as a unit. Aelin didn’t waste the time to check the other group’s position. 

Aelin made it to the wall and grabbed the thick, coarse rope now caked with mud. Her hands slipped but she gritted her teeth and made it to the top of the platform. Borte was right behind her climbing, Aelin reached and grabbed Borte’s hand pulling her up the rest of the way. 

Aelin continued that cycle with the rest, offering support when the girls struggled with their grip on the rope then she slid down the net once they were all over the top. 

“You got it, girls, keep going!” Aelin encouraged. 

Aelin crawled through one of the large, black, plastic tunnels, getting covered with mud in the process. Then she jumped from log to log though they too were coated with mud. Aelin finished off strong, leading the last of her girls across the finish line. Aelin turned her attention back to the course and saw the other camp’s counselor still on the track. 

She was truly taking the time to scrap some of the mud off her shoe on the edge of one of the log stumps. 

“Remelle! It’s a race, you have to run!” Fenrys screamed from the side. Remelle, apparently, didn’t deign to respond, she only wrinkled her nose. 

“Well, camp 6 will be moving on!” Gavriel declared. 

Aelin and her girls cheered, jumping at each other forming one big mud hug. 

The cycle continued, camps faced off until the brackets grew smaller and smaller. By the time Aelin and her girls went for a second time, the mud on her body was drying uncomfortably. 

They succeeded in beating the other group once more using the same strategy. 

Before Aelin knew it Gavriel was announcing the final match-up. 

“Let’s get a drumroll please for our final throw down,” Gavriel stated, drumming his hands on his knees along with the crowd. 

“Representing the boys we have camp 12 and representing the girls we have camp 6!”

The crowd yelled and clapped wildly, Aelin knew she was smiling uncontrollably and was ready to claim her sweet, cold prize. 

“Aelin! Aelin! Aelin!” She heard Lys, Elide, and other girls screaming rhythmically. 

The boys started up their own chant, which Dorian and Chaol joined, Aelin would punish them later. It was then Aelin fully realized who she was facing: Rowan. The adrenaline had blinded her the last few rounds and she had barely processed who was winning and losing. Now, Rowan Whitethorn was staring back at her from the opposite side of the start. 

Even with mud covering much of his body and splattered across his face he was still insanely hot. Aelin hoped the same could be said about her. 

Too soon Gavriel announced the beginning of the final race, a loud whistle filled the air and they were off. 

Once again, Aelin and her girls stuck to the less muddy sides, navigating the course expertly but it seems Rowan and his boys were doing the same. Aelin didn’t spare much time analyzing their positions but she could tell it was much closer than the previous races. Once again, Aelin fought her way up the rope and dangled off the platform to pull up strugglers. She spared a glance at Rowan, he was doing the same. She huffed, “C’mon girls, it's the last time you have to climb this, you’ve got it!”

Aelin finally got the last one over and flopped down the net which was saturated with mud at this point. Aelin was really looking forward to washing this all off later while she ate her ice cream. She then dove into the tunnel, slithering through at a record speed. Next came the home stretch, all she had to do was jump across the logs. She hopped from one stump to another until she was almost at the end. But on the second to last log, the mud that gathered atop it faltered and she stumbled. Cursing, Aelin regained her footing and prayed it was still enough.

Little did she know Rowan had had his own little tumble. Now, they were neck and neck making a final dash to the finish line. Rowan was probably a bit faster than Aelin and she panicked, her instincts to win at all costs taking over. It just so happened that Rowan was just close enough for her to give him a little nudge, to maybe upset his balance just enough that she could pull ahead. Aelin did just that and Rowan went down, his foot slipped into a small ditch of mud water. In hindsight, Aelin felt dirty but not enough to feel particularly remorseful when she heard the roar of victory from the crowd and her camp. 

Aelin turned back and saw Rowan was glaring at her, his foot still submerged in mud. She halted her victory dance and made her way over to him, offering him a hand.

Rowan took it, his large hand dwarfing hers but the feeling of mud squishing between them did ruin the moment for her a bit. Instead of using her hand as leverage, Rowan pulled Aelin towards him and she stumbled, slipping back until she was next to him in his mud pit. 

Aelin saw red, although she realized she probably deserved it and was already covered in mud anyway her temper rose. Aelin was just naturally wired to explode at any moment like a nuclear bomb. 

Rowan, however, kept his grip firm on Aelin’s hand and he drew her forward until his mouth aligned with Aelin’s ear. 

“You’ll pay for that one, Aelin.” Rowan’s breath caressed her ear and a shiver traveled down her spine. Despite the fact he was literally threatening her, Aelin’s heart skipped a beat and her breath hitched.

She kept her bravado about her though and only smirked in response, “It’s on.”

~~~

Hope you’re as excited as I am! All comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated, thank you. 

taglist: @live-the-fangirl-life

#rowan x aelin #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin au #rowaelin fanfic #aelin #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #aelin x rowan #lysandra #elide lochan #dorian havilliard #chaol westfall #fenrys moonbeam #camp staghorn #aelin ashryver galathynius

[storydays]

Season 1, ep 5, p1

You opened your eyes to see a young child running through luscious green gardens. The child was giggling and quickly slid on his stomach to hid underneath a bush. Your sight cleared up a bit to see the child was you, age 5. Younger you peeked out and yelped when you were picked up by large hands, and you heard your father's booming laughter. "Found you, my little waterbender!" Your father turned you upside down and tickled you, making you squeal and cry out, "Uncle! Uncle!"

"All right, Bumi, dear, be careful with him. He just ate lunch." A beautiful (H/c) woman walked over, her short hair flowing in the wind. Your father chuckled, before setting you on his shoulder, and walked over to your mother. "Sorry, love. I couldn't help it! I've missed you both so much." He wrapped his free arm around her waist, and kissed her passionately, making you groan in disgust.

"Ew, Mom, Dad, gross." You stuck your tongue out in disgust. "Oh, what are you talking about gross?" Bumi growled playfully, tickling your sides again. You laugh, and wiggle out of his grip before running to hide behind your mother's leg. You heard your mother giggling which made you suspicious, but shrieked with your mother when you both were in the cold water. You clung to your mom's back, giggling like mad. 

Your father's pale blue eyes sparkled with mischief, while he remained dry on land, laughing so hard, he was clutching his stomach. Your mother tickled your side, your secret signal for getting your father. You both summoned a giant wave and brought your father into the ocean with you. You jumped on his back, and he began swimming around like a polar bear dog, your mother swimming behind you. 

You then wrapped an arm around your mom's neck, and hung between the two adults, and looked at them hopefully. "We'll be like this forever, right?" Your innocent question made their hearts hurt, but they couldn't bring themselves to tell you the truth, not yet. So they held you closer, and smiled . 

"Of course, kiddo." "Yes, my love."

*End vision*

You opened your eyes to see Jinora and Nevermore over you, looking worried for you."(Y/N), are you okay?" Jinora whispered. You looked outside to see it was dark out, meaning you fell asleep reading again. "Hey, 'Nora. Yes, I'm okay. Are you okay?" You sat up, your hair sticking up everywhere and poofy. She giggled, but then looked down at her hands, shyly peeking at you. "I-I had a nightmare, and I can't go to Mom and Dad." 

Nevermore crawled into the little bookworm's lap. "How come you didn't go to Korra?" you wondered. "Because Daddy says that Korra needed to be alone for a little while. Can I sleep with you?" She used her polar bear pup eyes, and you sighed in playful defeat. Lifting your blanket, you silently told her to come under. She snuggled into your side, and Nevermore curled near your heads. 

"Good night, (Y/N)." Jinora whispered. "Good night, Jinora." 

*The next day*

You exhaled sharply, as you wrapped your knuckles up tightly. "It's been great to have you back, Korra." "It feels great to be back, although Tarrlok isn't please with our leaves of absences." Bolin scoffed. "Hey, (Y/N) created the Fire Ferrets and Korra, you joined before you joined his task force." "Okay guys, team huddle." You clapped your hands, making the younger teens walk over and put their hands over each other shoulders. 

Bolin grinned goofily, making Korra grin goofier, and you and Mako glance at each other uneasily before Mako clear his throat before taking over. "It's our first match of the tournament tonight. I know our team has been having some ups and downs for a little while. But even so, the Fire Ferrets have been on top of their game. Are we ready?"

Korra and Bolin echoed: "We're ready!" "Not yet." a sweet voice sung from behind you guys. You broke your group up to see Asami holding up a new uniform. "You'll need these." Mako immediately walked over. "Hey Asami." "Good morning, sweetie." She replied happily, as the firebender admired the outfits. "These new uniforms look great." he complimented. You and Korra looked at each other before rolling your eyes at the 'couple'.

"You look great, champ." Bolin rolled his eyes, Korra gagged when they rubbed noses, and you scowled, but you all fixed yourselves when they turned to you guys. "Well, teammates, I'll see you before the match tonight. Asami and I have a lunch date." "Okay, we'll check with you guys later!" Bolin cheered, waving. "Yeah, see ya when we see ya." You  grumbled, before turning away, and tightening your ponytail. 

You watched Bolin and Korra from the corner of your eye. "Soo, Korra...There they go, here we are. All alone in the gym, just you and me, two people alone. Together, alone." Bolin sputtered when Korra said, "What about (Y/N)?" "(Y/N) doesn't count; you've seen him in matches." You huff a laugh at that.

"Uh..I got to head back to Air Temple to train with Tenzin. See ya!" Korra ran out of their awkwardly. You pat Bolin's shoulder as he pouted in sympathy. "Soo, you like Korra don't you?" you smirked. He laughed, avoiding your gaze. "There's no use hiding it. And guess what, I'll be your wing-man." The Earthbender grinned as you began to explain your plan. 

*That night*

"Work with me, Pabu! You want to look spic and span in your new uniform, don't you?" Pabu chattered angrily as Bolin put him into the warm bath water. Nevermore smirked from the other side of the room, her tail lazily swinging back and forth from your shoulder. "So, what do you think of Korra in a girlfriend sort of way?" Bolin asked outloud.

"Personally, I don't see Korra that way. She's like my little sister, if I'm being honest." You hummed, turning in the mirror to brush your hair out. "She's great, but I think it makes more sense for me to go for Asami." Mako thought aloud, stirring the dinner. Your grip tightened around your brush, as you glared at the Firebender's back.  Bolin was also irritated but for a different reason. 

"I was talking about a girlfriend for me, Mako. Leave some ladies for the rest of us!" Bolin snapped, as Mako realized his mistake. "I know, that's what I thought you meant." "Sure, Mako. That's why you said, 'I'." You said sarcastically. "I don't know, Bo. It doesn't seem like a good idea for you to date Korra." "You just said, she was great two seconds ago." The Earthbender narrowed his eyes at his brother. 

"Yeah, Korra's a great athlete and Avatar and stuff. But I don't know if she's really girlfriend material. She's more like a pal." "A-A pal?" You questioned, turning half away to share a look with Bolin. "Bro, you're nuts. Korra and I are perfect for each other. She's strong, I'm strong. She's fun, I'm fun. She's beautiful, I'm gorgeous." You laugh as he continued. "Okay, I don't care what you think, I'm going to ask Korra out." 

That caught Mako's attention. "Look, it isn't just a smart idea to date a teammate, especially during a tournament. Keep your head out of the clouds and your priorities straight, okay?" Mako turned to finish cooking dinner. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Pabu? I'm talking about real love." He whispered to the Fire Ferret.

 You laugh again, putting blue beads in your hair. "Don't worry, Bo. You'll find the right girl one day." You went silent again, watching Mako from the mirror. 'This whole thing with Asami isn't good. Someone is going to get hurt, most likely Asami and/or Bolin. So how....how can I stop it?'

*A few hours later*

You tied your belt around your waist, listening to the announcer talk to the crowd.

"This is it folks, after a year of waiting, the pro bending tournament is finally here. Tonight is the first set of matches in our single elimination, 16 team bracket. And I gotta tell ya, these are the most tenacious and talented bending trios this arena has ever seen. " 

At that point you made it to the platform with your team, and the light shining on you guys. "Introducing our first team, the Future Industries Fire Ferrets." Everyone began cheering, you could even hear Korra in the background cheering. "Yeah, (Y/N)!" You looked into the stands to see Nagisa and Kazan calling you. You didn't know they were coming tonight, but it made your heart happy. 

"You can do it (Y/N)!" Nagisa cheered with Kazan waving from your Aunt Rene's shoulder. You waved back and blew a kiss to your aunt. "And their opponents, the Red Sand Rabbaroos." The crowd cheered louder when the two opposing teams made an explosion right away. "What an explosive opening volley. Both teams recover quickly and unleash a barrage of bending, I am astonished with how amazing the Fire Ferrets have improved! No wonder, Councilman (Y/N) and the Avatar haven't been in the pages lately. They've obviously had their noses to the grindstone in the gym." 

You used your ice to protect Bolin from an incoming Earth disk he wasn't aware of. "The Ferrets advance into Rabbaroo territory and are holding nothing back. Nice sprawl there by Mako, Bolin strikes, Ula dodges and all three Rabbaroos are down! The Fire Ferrets easily take round one, now onto round 2."

You smirk, using the water to knock the Firebender down the back. "The Rabbaroos are looking for payback, and they go after (Y/N). Bolin comes to his rescue, and he Earth disks Umi back into Zone 2! The Ferrets are on fire tonight, and they win round 2!" You, Mako and Bolin high fived each other.

"Round Threeee!" drawled another announcer. "With the Rabbaroos down two rounds, they'll need a knockout to win, and with the way the Ferrets are playing, I don't see that happening." The crowd began booing. You punched the air, making water fly at your opponents. "These Ferrets are moving like an well oiled machine." Bolin grunted as he sent three Earth disks to the opposing firebender, knocking her back. 

"Bolin bashes Adi into Zone 2, and the Ferrets get the green light to advance. The Rabbaroos are just fighting to stay on their feet at this point, down goes Adi, Ula, and Umi." "All three rounds go to the Future Industries Fire Ferrets who win their opening tournament match!" You all cheered, with giant grins on your faces. 

As you all walked back to the room to change, Mako spoke to you, not noticing Korra was there waiting for you guys. "Wow, we were really awesome tonight in that ring. Glad to have you back, (Y/N)." You took your helmet off and grinned wider. "Yeah, it's great to see we haven't lost our spark." Korra came up to you guys with a smile on her face and grinned. "Yeah, you guys were awesome out there!" "Thanks, Korra." Your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much at that point. 

You went behind the curtain to change into your street clothes, hearing Bolin talk to the audience more. Korra seemed to forgot you were in hearing range because as you were getting dressed, you heard her talk to Mako. "So, I've been thinking we should spend some time together." Mako chuckled, "We've been spending lots of time together." "I mean, outside of the gym and not while searching for kidnapped family members, or fighting chi blockers." she clarified. 

"I don't know. Asami and I are--" You almost fell over when you heard Korra say, "Look, I really like you and I think we were meant for each other." 

Silence followed. 

"Korra, I'm really sorry, but I just don--" at that moment you walked out, and cut him off. "Don't think it isn't a good idea to not hang out as friends." "You heard all that?!" Korra asked, blushing a bright red. "Kind of hard when I'm changing in the next room, Kor." "Will you excuse us for a second?" You pulled Mako away from her as Bolin came in. You then pulled Mako's ear, making him groan. 

"Ow, (Y/N)! What was that for?" he demanded. You frown at him, cross your arms and stare him down. "Mako, what in the entire hell is wrong with you?" you countered. "What do you--" "Don't play stupid with me! You don't even love Asami, you're in love with Korra! I don't know what is up with you lately, but you are being a ass! First you try to shoot Bolin down when he asked you for advice about his love life, and now you're trying to shoot Korra down hard." you whispered shouted. 

"Look, Mako, I'm telling you this as your best friend," you placed a hand on his shoulder, making amber eyes look into your (e/c) eyes, "You can't have it both ways. You need to make a decision and make it before anymore people get hurt." You walked away, leaving the firebender to trail behind you. 

"Congratulations, guys! You looked amazing out there." Asami beamed as she came into the room, giving Mako a kiss on the cheek. Mako smiled weakly before looking at a heart broken Korra. You raised an eyebrow at Mako, making him look away in shame before walking away with Asami. 

Rolling your eyes, you sighed aggravated, but felt your mood life as you heard little feet running towards you. "(Y/N)!" Nagisa's body slammed into you, hugging your waist, while Kazan hugged your leg. "Hey guys! It's been a while!" You knelt down to hug the children listening to Bolin ask Korra something.  "So, Korra, I was thinking you and me,we could go get some dinner together. Sort of date situation." 

"Oh, that's really sweet, but I don't think so. I don't feel very date worthy." She said sadly. "Are you kidding me? You're the smartest, funniest, toughest, buff-est, talented-est, incredible-est in the world!" Bolin said, a slight blush on his cheeks. Korra giggled at the Earthbender. "You really feel that way about me?" she asked slightly. 

"I felt that way since the moment I saw you. Trust me,I know we're going to have so much fun together." Bolin encouraged."You know what? I could use some fun. Okay, sure." "Yes! Who's the luckiest guy in the world? Right here, Bolin!" 'Good for you, Bo.' You smiled, zoning back into Nagisa's chattering.

The little girl was talking about how cool it was living with your aunt. "Yeah, Aunt Rene is pretty cool. I like visiting her because she's so much fun." You turned to Kazan and signed, 'What do you think of living with Rene?'  He smiled toothily, and signed back, 'She's really nice! She's a firebender like me, and has been teaching me to use my powers. She also has a waterbender teacher come for Nagi.' Suddenly he frowned, and signed, 'I just wish there were kids my age around. It'd be nice to have other people around besides Ms Rene, Nagisa, and her staff.' 

You hummed, and then brightened up, before turning to your aunt. "Why don't you guys come to Air Temple for dinner? I can cook, and Nagisa and Kazan can meet the Air kids." Rene looked at the two children and smiled. "Sounds good, let's do it." You turned to Kazan and signed,'Well, you are about to get your wish, little dude. You can come meet my cousins.' 

Together you walk out, Kazan riding your back, and Nagisa holding Rene's hand, and chanting, "Food, food, food!"

Neo nuzzled Kazan when he came forward, and you helped Nagisa onto Neo's saddle. "Hold on tight okay, we're going to take the fast way. 

*Timeskip*

You walked into Air Temple and found your family relaxing in the garden, waiting for you to come home. Ikki brightened up and ran over to you, with an excited look on her face. "(Y/N)! How'd it go? Was it super cool? Did you win? Are you going to the next match to-" You cut her off by laughing, and splashing her with a litle bit of water. 

"Hey Cheeky Ikki. Yes it was super cool, we did win, and we're going to the next match. But I have some friends for you to meet first." You went to the side and revealed the shy firebender and excited waterbender. "Hi! I'm Nagisa, and this is my brother Kazan!" Ikki, Jinora, and Meelo looked at the sister brother duo curiously. "Nagisa, Kazan, meet the Airbender family: This is my Auntie Pema, and Uncle Tenzin, and my cousins, Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo. Family, meet Nagisa and Kazan, and you all know my Aunt Rene." 

Rene wrapped an arm around you and smiled. "Cooking competition?" she grinned deviously. "Cooking competition." you agreed. "Yay! On your mark," Meelo started, "Get set," Ikki giggled with Nagisa. "Go!" Jinora cried, as you and your aunt began cooking at a rapid pace. "And done!"

You presented: 

Vegetable curry, for the vegans of the family, while your aunt presented:

Meat surprise for the meat lovers of families. 

"Enjoy!"

#lok imagine #legend of korra #legend of korra x reader #x male reader

[hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong]

The Flame-Soaked City, Part 2

Mash, Jeanne (not the servant), Cris, and Kat's trek through Fuyuki continues! Mash has to come to terms with her new powers, while The master trio are learning how to fly blind. How will they react when their little journey gets a lot more crowded? Also, we get sidetracked and spend way too much time justifying the existence of CEs in-universe!

Part 1 here Part 3 here

(Note: anything <between triangle brackets> is being said mentally between the masters.)

Mash and Dr. Romani talked for a bit more about Mash's new condition as a pseudoservant. Before he was cut off by interference, he gave us coordinates for a leypoint, a source of magical energy that could give us a more stable connection. The heat was awful, but Mash's spirit origin was obvious enough that we could follow her footsteps to avoid the worst of the debris in our path.

Those things in the debris were nightmares, though. Mash could flatten them easily, but they were difficult to pick out in the haze, and we were already losing blood from our head wound.

As we neared the leyline’s focal point, I finally felt a source of magical energy that was different from all the skeletons that searched through the wreckage of the city.

Jeanne: Mash, is that... a human? Over there!

Mash: You're right, senpai! That's... the director!

Cris: <<Aw crap.>>

Kat: <Come on, don't be like that! The more people we find out here the better!>

Cris: <<Yeah, but she's had it out for us ever since Jeanne zoned out in the middle of her speech.>>

Jeanne: <<<I did not "zone out", you two were distracting me! How do you expect me to carry on two conversations at once?>>>

Cris: <<I don't know, but you can get plenty of practice right now.>>

Olga Marie: Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

Jeanne: Yes?

Olga Marie:...

Jeanne: ...No?

Jeanne: What are we talking about?

Olga Marie: How on EARTH did someone like you make it into Chaldea? The second it's possible, we're sending you back. We don't need fools on the front lines, especially not injured ones.

Cris: <<Smooth.>>

Jeanne: Oh, will you just-

Olga Marie: What was that?

Jeanne: ...Will you just... stay here, while I check on Mash's progress with the summoning circle?

Olga Marie: Well? Don't just stand there then, get on it!

Kat: <That was close.>

Jeanne: <<<As much as I know you would love to argue with her, Director Animusphere has a point, Cris. We're barely holding on as is.>>>

Cris: <<Oh come on! The only thing here is a bunch of skeletons, and Mash can flatten them in one punch! We're fine!>>

Jeanne: <<<Something is keeping these skeletons together, and I'd rather not deal with that while I am fucking blind, Cris.>>>

Kat: <Hey, we've all been through a lot. Let's just see how Mash is doing.>

Mash: Oh, Senpai! Perfect timing, the circle is almost complete!

Jeanne: Director, we almost have contact!

Energy flowed through Mash's shield and into the sigils surrounding it. Soon enough, Doctor Romani was with us again.

Romani: CQ, CQ. Hello, hello? Okay, the connection's back! Mash, Hannah, it's wonderful to see you again!

None of us actually went by our legal name, but it is less of a hassle than explaining the real situation, so we kept our mouth shut.

Romani: Sorry! I mean, er-

Olga Marie: Doctor Romani? Why are you running communications? Where's Lev? Put him on!

Romani: Director, you're alive? Wha-

Olga Marie: Of course I am! Now where's Lev? Why is a medic on the comms line?

Romani: I know I'm not cut out for the job, but there's nobody else.

Jeanne: What... what do you mean by that?

Romani: Currently, the surviving full time staff of Chaldea is less than twenty people. I'm the highest ranking survivor. Lev was supervising from the command room, where the blast was the strongest. There's no way he could have survived that.

Olga Marie: ...No...

Romani: All other the master candidates are in critical condition. We might be able to save a couple, but-

Olga Marie: Don't be ridiculous! Cryopreserve them immediately! We can worry about reviving them later.

Romani: Ah! Of course! I almost forgot they had that!

After putting the other masters in cryopreservation, Romani continued with his report. Chaldea's systems were crippled, and rayshifting out currently wasn't an option. Their comms were also cut off from the outside world.

Olga Marie: Very well. Romani! Continue with the repairs. In the meantime, Hannah, Mash, and I will investigate the town. If we came back empty handed the Clocktower would have my head.

Romani: Right away, Director!

The connection cut off, and the director focused on us.

Olga Marie: Unfortunately Hannah, you're the closest thing we have to a master at hand, so we'll just have to see what you can get.

Jeanne: What do you mean?

Olga Marie: Do I really have to spell it out for you? We're at a summoning circle! Summon another servant! Chaldeas was designed to power the contracts of dozens of masters, even in this state it can handle whatever dreck you can scrounge up.

Cris: Please. I'll have you know I was brought here because I have the compatibility of three masters!

Kat: <Definitely helps that we ARE three masters. Now hurry up! I wanna summon a berserker!>

Jeanne: <<<You do NOT.>>>

Olga Marie: Just try to get ONE other servant for now. Overconfidence won't help us any.

Mash and Olga prepared some materials for the ritual, and then I repeated a chant Olga fed to us. And then...

A deluge of information forced its way into our mind. Bones scattered in a desert. The tranquility of sunrise. The feeling of chains tying us down. The agony of warfare. ...A white squirrel? Each one forced its way in haphazardly, shoving the last one out of the way.

Cris: <<Hey, I think I got something solid!>>

Kat: <Me too!>

Jeanne: <<<I... kind of?>>>

The first thing I noticed once reality faded back in were the gems littering the ground around us. Even brushing against one of them brought back the flash of feeling from before, but not quite as overpowering.

Cris: <<Jeanne? Stop playing with rocks. We're surrounded.>>

The first thing Cris noticed was the dozens of spirit origins now surrounding us. Before panic could set in, one of them spoke up.

???: Now that you have command over the army of shadows, victory is at hand. You can rest easy now, Master. We are the Hundred Personas, Assassin class.

Olga Marie: What did you do, Hannah? I said one servant, not one hundred! How do you expect to control all of them?

Jeanne: I think they're a package deal, Director. Their spirit origins are almost identical.

Jeanne: We're glad to have all of you. Thank you for answering our summons.

Each one of the servants standing before us had only the most minute of differences in their spirit origin. I'm sure if you overlayed them all they'd form the original whole. So many bodies in a single graph... fascinating...

Kat: <Um, Jeanne? You can geek out about your servant later, there's a couple others in the crowd.>

Two new servants in the crowd stood out. The smaller one approached first. Her spirit origin seemed very similar to Mash's- this one was definitely a knight class! Judging by our connection, they must be Kat's servant.

???:It is nice to meet you, Master. Since I am still in training, please call me Saber Lily. I look forward to working with you in the years to come.

"Saber Lily" was an odd name, but we knew enough about people not to pry.

Jeanne: <<<Do you two know any lily-themed swordswomen?>>>

Cris: <<Of course, I totally paid attention in our History class. Who do you think it is, Kat?>>

Kat: <The biggest lily in history is that french one... Ahah! It's d'Eon, it's gotta be! I hear she's pretty! Gah, now I hope Cris got a caster, I want our eyes healed already!>

Jeanne: Thank you for coming. I hope this won't take that long, but I look forward to our time together as well.

That just left the servant Cris pulled, which was... oh no.

As the mountain of a servant stomped towards us, their spirit origin spoke volumes about them. Its fault lines and twists showed the unmistakeable marks of being forced into the berserker class.

It stopped inches from our face.

???: I am Berserker Spartacus. Sorry to ask this, but are you a tyrant?

#fate grand order #mastersona #thinks the blind seer trope is overrated #hundred personas #saber lily #spartacus

[tracynotabi]

Riptide Day 2 / Undertow

September 11, 2021

D-Day.

Kevin, Ivan, Joey, and I were getting a ride from Spencer, who was also taking Narq to the venue, while Robert and Parker got a ride from someone else. Well, at least we didn’t have to walk to the venue. I didn’t pack sunscreen.

At 9am, about half an hour we were supposed to leave, Kevin gets a stomachache.

Me: He just needs to poop. Spencer: The classic.

We end up going to the lobby to wait for Spencer in Narq, which was fine considering we actually didn’t want Spencer, our ride, waiting for us.

Spencer: Okay, Narq’s just using the bathroom rq lol Me: Is he also having tummy problems Spencer: Nah just bein stoner and forgetting to do stuff lol Me: The classic

We go get Chick-fil-A and I’m sitting underneath the dashboard again by Kevin’s feet. I think the employees were very bewildered, as the woman on the other side of the window did a double take. I would, too, if I saw a smaller-than-average person just hiding underneath the dashboard sipping on a cup of Coke.

Some time after I get to the venue during doubles, I end up talking to Jimmy (j u m), when Kevin comes rushing over to me, a panicked look on his face.

Forgot to mention, but Kevin actually couldn’t get all of his poop out before coming to the venue and now it is back with a vengeance.

He tells me that he’s unable to go to any restroom because there were three stalls in the men’s restroom: two were occupied and one was clogged with poop.

He had tried flushing the poop one but it only made it worse. It just clogged more and the water level rose. If he had sat down and insisted on finishing, his balls would be touching the water and that’s a no-no.

He tried asking the front desk for other restrooms, but he was informed it was the only one. He was desperate and you could just see it in his eyes that he was about to break.

Me, using the big, wrinkly brain that I had, told him to use the women’s restroom. He froze, not even realizing that that was an option.

Now before anyone complains, hear me out.

I would rather be in a restroom with a male in the stall next to me, than exit the restroom and see someone standing outside the men’s restroom trying to wait for a stall with a shit stain in his pants. Excuse the vulgarity, but it’s true.

If you’re ever at one of my tournaments and you need to go and no male restroom is unoccupied, for the love of god, please fucking use the women’s restroom. I do not need this mess on my hands and you best believe I’m shoving myself in the men’s restroom if I gotta fucking go expel unicorns and rainbows.

I go to the restroom with Kevin and stand awkardly on my phone to keep watch, because he didn’t want any of the staff members actually seeing him and risk himself getting kicked out of the venue.

That would’ve been extremely unfortunate.

Luckily, nobody else needed to go use the restroom while Kevin was in there and he was able to safely compete his duty (lol).

If anyone is upset at my suggestion, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t about to not provide such a simple solution for Kevin’s emergency.

Anyway, the tournament start shortly after that.

First match I pay attention to is Kevin vs. Wombat. In my head, I think it’s pools so I shouldn’t worry too much. I try to watch Kevin’s sets, but it makes me physically ill sometimes because my anxiety is wracked up like crazy and I just want to throw up. Many have witnessed me walking away and trying to distract myself multiple times at multiple different tournaments.

It’s like that gory horror movie that you can’t keep looking away from.

Besides knowing that I get sick, I figured it would be fine since I actually enjoy trying to support my boyfriend and watch him come out of pools winners’ side. Not meaning any disrespect by Wombat, by the way. He’s great. Just realistic. It’s like how I expect Kevin to lose to Bob.

Kevin loses Game 1.

Ooh my tummy’s doing barrel rolls like the way Twisty did with that pullout bed. I look away but I’m just so distracted by the crowd noises.

I totally get it, though. Obviously, it’s sick that Wombat’s holding his own against Kevin, who is seed 3 of the tournament. I’d be excited, too, if my friend was making an upset on someone else. But Kevin’s my boyfriend, so obviously, I want him to win.

Kevin barely wins Game 2 and I’m like ooooh boy. My tummy’s going to town and I think I gag a little by how sick I feel. Gotta focus on getting Joey his next match. *deep breaths*

When heartswaptv airs the whole tournament, definitely check out the set. It was really good (as far as I can hear, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the rest of it).

Kevin comes over to me after he’s out of pools and I scold him for making me worried.

AND YOU NOW WHAT HE SAYS?

Kevin: Babe, it’s fine - I almost lost to Zeddy at Redacted City and I got 2nd. I’ll be fine. Me: T____T *incoherent whining noises*

Does Kevin thinks he’s fucking cute for saying that or something? I was not amused.

Since I didn’t have to volunteer TO the entirety of the tournament, I bounced around mingling with other people.

At one point, I get a message from Suvir in our group chat about how he, Sosa, and Narq were planning on coming to visit NorCal. Of course, since Narq was already here, I decided to just go up to him and ask.

Me: So I heard you’re coming to NorCal? Narq: I am? Me: That’s what Suvir said. *shows phone* Narq: I guess I’m going to NorCal!

Suvir: Narq doesn’t actually know. Sosa just said he’d take him with him and said Narq would agree to go because he’s Narq. Me: Oh that makes sense why he had no idea what I was talking about.

It wasn’t until around top bracket did things start to pick up. Not too many spoilers, because (1) no spoilers before they upload the vod and (2) I have a terrible memory when it comes to the matches.

I remember holding up Kevin’s phone to stream to our Discord because we had some non-PM player friends who wanted to see and I think Kevin wanted Thomas (ThundeRzReiGN) to give him some advice throughout the tournament. Not actually coach, but to critique his play.

As more and more top players fell, Kevin made it a goal to do his best not to fall into the landmine that was Losers’. So many heavy hitters were large threats to him: Techboy, Malachi, Akimi, Cloudburst...

Not to say that Winners’ side didn’t have their fair share of monsters: Peter, Parker, Kumatora, Twisty, Nogh, Lunchables...

Kevin’s first match in Top 32 was against Bongo, who people sleep on quite a lot. For those of you that don’t know him, he’s a Captain Falcon from NY who actually beat Kevin at Flex Zone 3 in 2018. Kevin had beaten him at Encore, but it wasn’t easy.

Not to mention Falcon is a pain the butt for Mario. Unfortunately, the match was not recorded (as far as I know), and it was a very exciting match from what I heard. I avoided watching it because based on how long it took, I knew it had to have been a Game 5. During that time, two matches have been finished on “stream.”

Kevin had said his match against Bongo was the toughest one he had - not to discredit his other opponents, of course - but according to him, it was the scariest and closest. Also the threat of being put into Losers so early would’ve made the climb to Top 8 a lot harder.

His overall goal was actually to make Top 8. Despite being a third seed and rank 5, what I’ve noticed about Kevin is that he does have doubts about himself quite often. He’s never complacent in his opponents and worries all the time about being upset and I don’t think anyone puts more pressure on him more than himself.

As I watched my friends progress through bracket, all I can think is there’s not much I can do. I don’t understand the game very much, despite my heavy involvement in the scene. In fact, more often than not, I believe I understand the game the least compared to everyone else.

A tangent from the actual tournament itself is coming, but I think I should address why I’m even in this community:

While everyone loves the game, I love the community behind it. I find it worth it to sit/stand in one location for hours at a time because it allows my friends to enjoy the game they love comfortably without worrying how the tournament is progressing. They can focus on their own growth and passion.

I think what I see is completely different. Like I said, I don’t really understand this game - I can’t differentiate uairs, bairs, d-smashes, etc. I compute it in my head, but can’t visualize it. I don’t recognize most combos - in fact, more often than not, I’m sitting there just staring at the screen kind of blankly. Sometimes, it does make me wonder if I really am part of this community because I don’t really understand the game.

I can’t say I particularly care too much about the game, but I understand how much of an impact it’s made on me and for that, I’m very thankful for this game because it’s led me to some great people.

Back to the actual event and less sap. lol. Is anybody still even reading?

For something put together in a mere two weeks, Trin and their team did an amazing job. Three recording set ups, graphics, a pot, a venue... props to them for gathering the scraps and making a whole out of it. And to think we almost didn’t go.

Madeline (Swanner) ended up coming and it was honestly so good to see her. We aren’t particularly close, but she’s someone I’ve come to care for and just want happiness for her.

Major spoiler, but I don’t think anybody who cares about PM/P+ doesn’t know Kevin won the tournament.

Everyone expected a pop-off, but Kevin just sat there, crying.

I don’t think there’s ever been anything that Kevin has been more passionate about. He loves this game; he loves this community. Never did it ever occur to him that he would win.

I wish I could say more, but honestly, him winning stunned me speechless. And if you didn’t know, the first thing he said after was that he had to call his mother.

His mom is one of his biggest supporters and I love her to death. She has such a huge heart and has never, ever frowned upon Kevin’s love for the game, whole-heartedly supporting it.

I hugged Maddy, because I can’t even imagine how heart-breaking it must be for her to see what could have been on the mainstage. I imagined how much it must’ve hurt her because she just loves the game and the community, but to see it constantly be torn down by Nintendo and her unable to do anything... Give Maddy a hug and thank her if you see her. She deserves the world.

We ended up walking home with PNW, Bob, Mar, Bongo, Cameron (LoyaL), Ivan, and a few others, honestly too dark to completely see and name. It was a very nice night.

We did, however, pass by the rundown house that definitely looked like if we were to talk in there, we’d be killed by the axe murderer that lived there.

Kevin also lagged behind a lot because his phone notifications were going off like crazy and I was worried he was going to just get lost in the darkness or get hit by a car. Stop looking at your phone when you cross the street, dammit.

We got back to our hotel room and ordered pizza - it was bad. God-fucking-dammit, Ohio, why do you suck so much? Kind of a shitty dinner to end the day on, but nothing else was open at 2am. FeelsBadMan.

#Super Smash Bros. #Project M #Project Plus #Nintendo #Riptide #Undertow #Fuck Nintendo

[fangirlxwritesx67]

Make Me Wanna Kiss You

Dean x OFC Rhea, 1200 words, cute fluff and food

Written for my sweet @winchesterxfamilybusiness Make Me Swoon 250 Followers Challenge. Sabrina, it has been a delight to get to know you! I admire you as a person, a fangirl, and a friend. Hope this makes you swoon

Rhea sighed as she locked the door behind at the small family-owned restaurant where she worked. The last lunch customer had just left, and now she had only a couple of hours before the restaurant would reopen for dinner, and plenty of work to do in the meantime. She had to chop vegetables for salads, fruit for cocktail garnishes, and slice the bread that would go on the table with every meal. There was also cleaning to be done and silverware - always silverware to be rolled. 

But first, her own lunch. One of the perks of this job was that the owners provided a meal between the seatings. Usually it was a burger, hot sandwich, or the daily special, whatever the kitchen needed to get rid of, but it was free and better than what she could cook on her own. 

Lately, though, there was an added attraction to employee meal time: the handsome new line cook, Dean Winchester.

He had started a couple of months ago when the last line cook stormed out in a huff over food safety measures. Dean fit into the kitchen like he had always been there. 

At first, Rhea had been attracted to him for his good looks. His handsome face, sprinkled with freckles, was all chiseled angles, except for his mouth that was ridiculously plush.  His apple green eyes were bracketed by lines that deepened in the rare moments that he laughed. 

He turned out to be a hard worker, steady and less temperamental than most of the kitchen staff she had worked with over the years. He moved from stove to line to fridge to broiler with grace and rhythm that reminded her of a dancer. And his hands, those broad knuckles, scarred and freckled - she had lost moments, sometimes, watching him work. 

Dean didn’t talk a lot, but Rhea had managed to gather that he was new in town, that he had a younger brother, and that his pride and joy was his car, a ‘67 Chevy Impala he referred to lovingly as Baby. He smoked, of course, drank a little too hard, and was inked as far up his arms as she could see under his black chef’s jacket.

Lately, she had started to linger in the kitchen when he made her lunch, for no reason other than she wanted to be near him. Sometimes she felt like she was talking to a brick wall, but then occasionally he would chuckle or simply crack a smile so bright it made her blush. 

“It’s sandwich day!” He greeted her with a wide grin. “The other waitress already got hers and went-” he gestured with a spatula at the door. “So pick what you want, whatever you want, that I can put between two piece of bread.” 

Rhea paused, taken aback. 

“But wait.” Dean continued. “Let me guess, BLT on wheat toast, extra crispy bacon, add cheddar and avocado, side of fries.” 

“How- how did you know?” 

“I pay attention. You like things a certain way. And I know you usually eat the veggies of the day, but I see you sneaking fries off the warmer.” 

Rhea blushed, but it was true. “Okay, but I can’t eat a side of fries every day. Do you know how much fatter I’d be?”

Dean’s expression turned dead serious. “First of all, there is nothing fat about you. Second, who cares? Life is short. Eat the fries. I like to see a woman who enjoys her meals.” He turned away suddenly, as if afraid he had said too much. 

He was silent while he made and plated not one BLT but two. He handed her both and took off his apron before he spoke again. 

“C’mon, its a clear sunny fall day. Let’s eat outside.”

“Outside?” Rhea was confused. The restaurant didn’t have outdoor seating. But Dean held the back door to the kitchen open and she followed. Around the corner there was a messy pile of milk crates. He set three in a row against the side of the building and settled onto one. 

Rhea set the plates on the center crate like it was a table before sitting down. The sun-warmed brick of the building felt good against her back. When she picked up her sandwich, it was perfect. For a few moments, they ate in comfortable silence. 

A sudden gust of wind drove a shower of yellow and orange leaves in their direction, and she laughed as she tried to keep them off her food. Dean picked one up and looked at it almost solemnly. 

“I guess if the leaves are falling, it’s time for me to cook fall food. What do you think of pumpkin soup?” He turned to her, as if her opinion mattered for the restaurant menu. 

She shook her head, wrinkling her nose. “Eww, no. Everything is pumpkin this time of year. I like a good slice of pumpkin pie, but there can be too much of a good thing.” 

Dean smirked as if there was something funny about that before he spoke again. “What do you suggest then?” 

“Mac and cheese. Nothing like good old fashioned homemade cheesy pasta. And you can do so much with it, you can make it simple or fancy, you can add veggies, you can put bread crumbs on top, plus it’s not too expensive and everybody likes it.” Her voice trailed off.

“Great idea! See, I knew you were a lady who knew her food. Plus, my brother says I make the best mac and cheese in the world. Of course, he might be biased. When we were kids, we often didn’t have anything else. So I’d do my best to dress it up, add hot dogs, marshmallow fluff.”

Rhea laughed, but Dean was dead serious. “Well, it sounds like he thinks the world of you. I’m sure you are a great big brother, although now I have some doubts about your culinary ideas.”

Dean was the one who laughed then, head back, eyes crinkled. The thought crossed her mind that he looked younger when he was happy. When his eyes met hers again, they held a question she didn’t quite understand.

“But as long as you promise to keep it a little more traditional, I’ll try anything you want to make.”

“You gotta stop doing that.” Dean held out his hand unexpectedly over their empty plates on the milk crate table. 

“What?” Rhea slipped her hand into his. His palm was warm and he curled his finger over hers.

“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.” 

She searched his face for any sign that he was joking, but his eyes shone earnestly and his lips curled with hope. 

“What makes you think I don’t want you to kiss me, Dean Winchester?” She answered at last. 

Their first kiss tasted a little bit like bacon, and as Dean brought one hand up to caress her face, the wind blew another cascade of leaves down around them. 

Rhea had things to do, food to prepare and silverware to roll. She had mac and cheese to taste in the future. But that afternoon, with the sun on her face and Dean’s lips on hers, there was nothing else she wanted. 

*** SPN First Last and Always: @boondoctorwho @dawnie1988 @deanwanddamons @defenderrosetyler @divadinag @emoryhemsworth @fookinghelljensensthighs @idreamofplaid @kalesrebellion @kickingitwithkirk @maddiepants @magssteenkamp @onethirstyunicorn   @there-must-be-a-lock @tloveswriting Dean Curious: @adoptdontshoppets @awesomesusiebstuff @deangirl7695 @deans-baby-momma  @mrsjenniferwinchester @stoneyggirl @supersassyprobablysad @wayward-gypsy @winchesterxfamilybusiness Gay Screaming: @boondoctorwho, @cherry3point14 @cracksinthewalls, @fookinghelljensensthighs @itmighthavebeenintentional, @justcallmeasmodeus, @lastactiontricia @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ @mskathywriteswords​, @rockhoochie​, @there-must-be-a-lock​, @thoughtslikeaminefield​

#dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x ofc #make me swoon

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Day 14: The Last Day

Hi guys! Here she is! The last of our quarantine fic as the world is opening up, whether it should or not. It’s short, but felt complete! Huge thanks to everyone who read and reblogged! A huge thanks for @dirtystyles and @emulateharry for the read throughs and cheerleading! I am sure there will be other little odds and ends-

Harry’s POV maybe...

Day 14: The One With The Loss

"Where the f ..." Elise felt frantic, she could not find her bracelet. Her grandmother had given it to her. She didn't care at this point if she had to leave everything else behind, but she couldn't leave that.

She'd been incredibly close to her grandma Rose. On Some hard days, Elsie would have said she was the only one who ever really loved her. When she was dying Elise had gone to the hospital as much as possible to sit with her, at first to play cards, and then to hold her hand, and finally to curl up next to her and cry. When grandma was still able to talk she'd told her to go in her jewelry box, the one that was packed from her room at the assisted living facility and find her opal bracelet.

They shared an October 21st birthday. Grandma Rose said she'd had the bracelet since her sweet sixteen. Elise was a little older than that when she got it, but the bracelet was priceless and irreplaceable at this point. Her random t shirts and even her books could stay, but not her bracelet.

She'd been packing for a couple hours at this point. She wasn't aware she had this much stuff, or that it was so spread out. She'd been pretty unemotional through the whole process, until she couldn't find her bracelet. Elise might have been crying inside before then, but she was really freaking out now.

It was the first time she had cried since the talk with Harry.

"Is that what you're so scared of?" He'd said.

She'd scoffed. That got her back up. "I'm not scared of anything."

"Are you kidding me?" He actually laughed at her. "You're scared of everything!"

"Fuck you Harry! You don't know how I feel."

"Of course I don't. It might actually kill you to talk about your feelings or be honest." His hands were crossed over his chest.

"Honest, feelings? Cuz you are the king of talking about real shit?" Her hands came off her hips and she was pointing. "All we do is play, or fuck. You may actually be a lost boy."

"I'm just trying to read your comfort level, love. That seems to be the depth of life you're willing to deal in. Gotta keep it light for poor Elise, or she will run away. I'm dont even know why I bother." He sighed. "If you liked spending time with me at all, without being entertained all the time, I would not have to lure you out of your room every damn day with some promise of food or comfort or sex. It's so damn hard to know you."

"How dare you!" She seethed. He'd insinuated she was shallow right? That's what that bullshit about depth implied. "I am not shallow. Or a damn child who needs to be bribed. Maybe if I had any idea what I was doing here, or why you were being so nice to me, I'd not be so damn afraid I'd need to hide. I don't know you either, and your intentions are even more obscure."

"What you're doing here? I was just trying to make sure you were ok, or safe. Take care of you. If you were unwell it would be my fault."

"Cmon Harry, we both know you could have got us tests and sent me packing ages ago. What little fantasy are we living out here?"

"Yours!" He shouted.

And the conversation got more intense from there.

"Where could I have?" Elise's cheeks were wet; she was nauseous. This day had already been too much. She'd just got her head in her palms to weep when strong hands came onto her shoulders.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Harry asked into her black hair before kissing it.

"I can't find my grandma's bracelet anywhere. She gave it to me when they told her she was running out of time." She turned a watery frown on him and he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Ok, well tell me what it looks like and I'll help you."

Elise described the delicate piece and they each set off to look. She was essentially tossing things out of her way adding to the mess. The room had already looked casually like a bomb went off, but she was a mess when she looked for things. She did notice Harry was orderly in his disarray.

"When'd you wear it last?"

"I don't wear it. I'm too afraid I'll break it." She told him, and he chuckled.

"If you say something about patterns or bad habits I will cut you." She mentioned.

He put his hands up in surrender. And they both laughed.

He had a point.

Elise was thinking about how their fight the night before had gone when Harry said. "Is this it?"

"Oh my god." Tears filled her eyes anew and ran down her cheeks. "Thank you! What would I do without you?" It was an honest question. It had only been fourteen days but she honestly couldn't imagine not knowing him, really knowing him, not about him, or speculating about him, or inferring about him, or projecting about him. Knowing him, underneath his clothes, under his skin.

"No need to find out!" He smoothed her hair and then gave her a smooch. "Now, can you grab whatever you need so we can pretend we hate that we have to be locked in a house together for an undefined time."

She giggled. "You don't hate that you are stuck in your house with me for who knows how long?"

"Are you going to let me turn up the heater and stay naked?" He picked up one of the boxes she'd put together.

"Not all of the time."

"Then some of the time?" He curled his tongue and poked it to the side of his mouth.

How was she supposed to say no to that. "Maybe."

"Then hurry." Kiss. "Up." Kiss. " we need to go play strip scrabble."

"Im not playing scrabble with you." She said for the umpteenth time.

"Strip monopoly?"

"No."

"Apples to apples?"

"How the hell.." she just laughed at his hugely dimpled smile. "How about we just go in your hot tub and drink margaritas naked."

"Deal!" He started tossing clothes wildly into bags. It was out of character except for his insatibility. "Hurry up! We have plans!"

"To have sex?" God he was sooo cute. "More sex." She clarified.

"Yea, aren't those very important?" He stepped into her space and planted his hands on her hips and his flag in her heart. He'd leaned in close, but didn't connect their lips.

She gulped and leaned up against his arms keeping her feet planted and away from his tempting lips. "Yes, very important."

"Yeah." He said and kissed her silly.

She'd never done it on that bed. Seemed funny to do it after it had been stripped and with the knowledge it would never happen again.

It could have went another way. Elise kept catching herself in moments and feeling grateful, that once Harry started talking, he really started talking.

The day before, when he shouted the truth about living out her own fantasy, she'd started to walk away. She couldn't handle the truth. It was at least half true, it was a wonderful two weeks of her life, and it looked like now it was over. Elise knew she couldn't handle going back to his place and fighting more, or worse facing silent treatment. Plus, if he had wanted her there, he still hadn't said that today or before. She was about to cross the threshold of the room. Harry muttered something about her walking away.

She stopped and turned. She only had to walk away if she wanted to be done.

"This has been a fantasy, of course it has. Like a dream come true. And I'm really scared. I have no idea why I'm here, not really, or what we are doing, or what..." she sucked in some oxygen. "Or what." She felt tears building in her eyes. "How you feel about me." She expected him to say something, but instead he just stood and stared at her, waiting for her to talk. "And what happens tomorrow."

"What?" It was the first thing he'd said during her rant.

"We' re almost done with friends." She whispered.

He was nodding. "We are. so?"

"You said." She swallowed. "Last week you said we should finish Friends, the you said we only had three more days to finish."

He was nodding. "I guess I did, but Elise, the end of friends, it doesn't mean the end of us. And I'll answer all the questions you have. If you want the answers. But, I'll be honest and say I have no idea how you feel about me, like the real me, too. It's why I held back so long."

"So long? It's only been two weeks."

"Pretty intense two weeks." He wiped her tears. "It felt like forever. I wanted to love you up by day five."

She giggled. "Me too."

"Ugh." He groaned. "All that missed opportunity." But they were both smiling. "New challenge: make up for lost time now."

She was shaking her head at his ridiculous eyebrows. "So, you like me?" She asked.

"At the risk of being really obvious, I like you, like really like you, maybe could be more." He tilted her chin up. "and you like me? Me me?"

Elise nodded then thought she had already been this brave. "More than like, I think."

He beamed. "Honestly Elise, when I first brought you home it was out of guilt and because it didn't initially occur to me to just get tests." He looked down. "I had Jeff do research, and we had to wait a few days, and by then, well, I really liked spending time with you."

"Me too." All these confession made her feel like a feather.

"And nothing happens tomorrow. It's not some scary end date, I'm not kicking you out at check out time." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Honestly? I'd really like it if you stayed with me, for however long this lasts. We've already been exposed to each other.."

"You think?"

"Very exposed to each other." He laughed with her. "And then after, whenever that is. We talk about it. You can keep your place, or save the money."

"I could pay for groceries."

He sighed. "Ok, you can pay for groceries." He quirked a brow and the dimples that bracketed his mouth wanted to break free, they just needed her response. "Does that mean you'll stay?"

"I'll stay." The full wattage of his smile was really like A full moon on a clear night. He bridged the space between them and swooped her into his arms.

"Good, I'd miss you if you were gone."

"I'd miss you if I was gone too." She was honest, hopefully it would become a new habit.

"Then let's not let that happen." He kissed her then, and it was a piece of this tiny instance of forever she'd keep always, if they wound up married fifty years or broke up by pandemic's end.

"Can I tell you something really crazy?"!She asked with her ear pressed to his heart. She felt his body nod on her head. "I'm so glad you sneezed in my face."

"Yeah?" He asked. "I could do it again?" He offered, his body vibrating with his laugh.

"I'm good now thanks. But, I'm still glad it happened."

"Me too baby, me too."

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #quarantine fic #day fourteen #the one with the loss

[zankivich]

The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 3

a/n: hi. I don’t know where this chapter came from. I just really don’t. But she’s kind of cute and I like her. I’m busy so I don’t have time to bore you all at the moment, but just know it only goes up from here lol. 

WARNINGS: BDSM tones (ropes), sex without a condom, aftercare, squirting.

*y/n’s point of view*

There’s a website that most of the companies in the industry use for all messaging. It’s a way to easily house all your members and employees on one central hub. Everyone can search each other by name, do direct messages, group chats, you name it. It’s an easy way to keep all information going and easily viewable without digging through millions of emails. The fact that most companies used the same one wasn’t usually a problem because they each had their own centralized locations. In the normal world, a person at Atlantic couldn’t just easily message a person at Sony, because they weren’t on the same hub. Silly of you to think that that would matter.

You’re in the middle of a meeting to discuss the roll out plan for Khalid’s new album. You’re busy. There’s a lot going on. Tiana has your phone at her desk, because no one should be trying to reach you at this moment. The only thing that you do have is your laptop, and this messaging app. So, when your VP of Sales and Marketing is trying to lay out the strategic vision for the album, and your laptop starts dinging you actually catch said messages.

Shawn: why is it harder to get in touch with you than the fucking president?

You peered at the screen of your computer and rolled your eyes. This man was nothing but a nuisance. A hot...large....thick nuisance.

y/n: Because the president has an ego bigger than his racism and I’m a busy ass woman? Why didn’t you just text me.

Shawn: I did! Tiana told me you keep your phone out of your office during meetings? Who the hell does that?

Y/n: Competent managers who want to engage and take care of their clients. How the hell did you find me on here?

Shawn: I had one of the interns hack the website. It’s not that hard apparently.

Sometimes you liked to pause and take a moment to think about how wild it was that this was your life now. Sneaking around with a man six years younger than you with an ego just about the size of his massive body, but with a tongue that could move mountains. It was truly a difficult reality but thus here you were.

y/n: What is it Shawn?

Shawn: I bought something new, and it came in today. Want to try it with you.

Damn.

“Y/n do you want to see the projected numbers?”

“Huh?”

You peered up from your laptop where your team was all staring at you practically drooling. Pull it together woman.

“Oh. Yes!” you cleared your throat. “Yea. Let’s go over projected numbers, and then we can talk through promo. I want to make sure Khalid feels good with the workload.”

y/n: I am at work.

You did everything in your power to pay attention to whatever your associates were talking about. Everything except for closing the damn laptop.

Shawn: I’m aware. Me too. I wanna try ropes though. I even bought those candles you wanted.

You’d gone over to Shawn’s place and discovered that he thought scentless candles would set some type of mood and get your panties wet. Instead you had asked him what the point of a candle with no smell. He said light. You said that’s what the fucking lamps were for and that this wasn’t the little house on the prairie. And then he bent you over his couch and fucked you until you came two times in a row. It had seemed like a really worthy conversation at the time, with a lovely end as well. But, this was much better in your estimation.

Y/n: the eucalyptus ones?!?!?!

Shawn: I’m glad you’re more excited for candles than my dick, but yes.

Y/n: Of course I am. I barely know your ass. Candles are forever.

Shawn: I’ve actually licked my cum out of your vagina before. Strangers is simply not what we are.

Y/n: Yo when the Russians hack us all to end civilization as we know it? I hope they deliver that quote personally to tmz.

Shawn: if civilization is ending let the record show I was secure enough in my manhood. No regrets!

You found yourself laughing behind your computer screen on account of your hookup being an actual idiot. It was kind of nice to not hate the person you were having casual sex with. It was even nicer to keep him on his toes and constantly take the piss out of him when everything about his world seemed rooted in telling him he could do no wrong. One look at the people in your office, and your client who was looking at you like you were crazy, told you that they did not share your sentiment. Time to close the laptop.

***

His apartment oozes peppermint and eucalyptus. It’s endlessly warm and inviting, makes your bones feel a little softer already. Turns out you were right, as you tended to be at least ninety-three percent of the time. And the playful roll of his eyes when he opens the door and sees you grinning is all the confirmation that you need.

“Come to the bedroom.” He sighed tugging on your hand.

You pass by the couch and feel a familiar stirring in your belly again as he leads you towards his room.

“No couch this time?”

“No. Want you to be more comfortable when I tie you up.”

There’s a complex array of emotions that overcomes you when he says stuff like that. The relationship that you had was different than anything you’d ever done before. Shawn was dominant of course, and he led you through just about every step of the process. And every time you went over to his place, or he came over to yours, somewhere throughout the night a softness would descend upon you. It wasn’t just that you didn’t need to take the lead. It was that he was telling you what to do, but he was also taking care of you. There’s a nurturing component to it that you weren’t used to even now. So you just let it flutter in your stomach and you don’t call it for it is.

In his bedroom there are more candles and mood lighting. The ropes have their own set up on the bed amongst a towel, lube, and a few toys. But he doesn’t lead you immediately to the bed. Instead he stops you with his hands on your hips. His palms squeezed tenderly there before sliding around to grab firmly at your ass. A sigh pasts your lips and he smiles.

“You can kiss me.” He instructed.

His lips are warm and firm. You liked the way that he tasted, like the languidness of his tongue between your lips. It never failed to get you going, and he knew that. So his fingers reach for the zipper at the top of your dress and the second it comes undone the garment falls to the floor. It leaves you in your bra and panties, a rich, warm brown color that did lovely things against your skin. Thank you Rihana.

He hummed. “You’re beautiful.”

His fingers map your body out like he knows it, like he’s tasted every inch of you. And maybe he has. Goosebumps spring up along your arms and legs as he touches you in exploration.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

“You’re welcome. You’re gonna be tied up for the rest of the night. If you need to be let out, or you don’t want it anymore just use your safeword okay?”

You nodded gently. “Yes, sir.”

He kissed the side of your mouth and let his hands come down over your arms and down your hips.

“Get naked and get on the bed. On your knees facing away from the door..”

His sheets are soft and cool against your skin the way they always are. The bedroom is now a place of familiarity. There’s no fear here anymore. Only trust and need and want. You placed your cheek  against the bedspread eyes peering over at his dresser as you waited for further instruction. He makes his way over to the dresser and reaches for a remote that’s all too familiar to you now. Shawn was a fan of playlists. Different ones for different moods. In all the time that you’d spent together thus far you didn’t think you’d ever heard the same one twice. Needless to say you were a little surprised when his taste in music was more similar to yours than you expected. But, it added another layer of comfort for you and for him.

You hear the sounds of his sweatpants dropping to the floor and your heart rate increases. You never knew what you would get. Sometimes he made you wait so long you would drip onto the bed. Those were the times where he spanked you for not being good, but always soothed you endlessly before the night was over. Sometimes, like tonight, his body finds yours quickly, fingers tracing your skin in concentration. You love this just as much.

He climbed on top of you, knees bracketing your ass and you can already feel his semi against your skin.

“I’m gonna tie your arms behind your back.” He explained. “I’ll be gentle and slow while we get you into it. And I’m gonna ask you a lot if you’re okay. I need you to be honest with me. If at any point you don’t like it you gotta stop me okay?”

“Okay.” you nodded.

“Green?”

“Green.”

He lifts your body up until you’re leaning on your knees, his own directly behind you. He reaches for a few feet of nylon rope. It’s a pretty bright purple color, and you have a feeling he picked it out with the contrast against your skin in mind. You know you would’ve.

It starts with two hoops that slide over your arms and onto your back. The rope is soft and it doesn’t hurt or agitate your skin. His fingers slip beneath the rope to make sure it isn't too tight before he ever starts on the next knot.

“Is this too tight?” He asked.

“No.”

After your back it’s your shoulders. And slowly down your arms. Between every new touch of rope around your body, his lips are at your ear asking you to make sure it’s okay, that you feel good. When it gets to your wrists, he ties a final knot that allows him to control the tightness of the entire structure from the end of the rope with his hands. He tugs it gently and it sends you sprawling until you’re bent in front of him. That’s when it clicks for you. Your wrists and arms bound, and your body completely at his mercy. It’s the most vulnerable you could ever be. And it turns you on beyond fucking belief.

“Color?” He asked.

“Green.” You whimpered.

“Do you like it?”

Your thighs twitch a little bit and you feel your back arch at the hunger in his voice.

“Y--Yea. I do. I really do.” You panted.

“Fuck. Wish you could see how good you look like this. I’m gonna flip you over, so I can see you.”

It’s much gentler than you expected. He eases you on to your back and the stretch in your arms is noticeable but not painful. He settles your body onto the towel and pulls your thighs apart so he can touch you with warm hands.

“I wanna try something else new tonight.” He smiled fingers sliding along your slit.

“Yea?”

“Have you ever squirted before?”

You shook your head softly. “I don’t think I can.”

He slid his finger inside already working on getting you stretched open. Your hips loosen and you  spread your legs a little further for him to slide another finger inside.

“We’ll see about that. Roll back over for me.”

You kneeled on your knees arms still secured behind your neck. He set a pillow for your head to rest on and reached for the bottle of lube.

“Do you want a toy or my cock?” He hummed fingers squeezing at your backside.

“You. Want you.”

“Yea? Ask me nicely.”

He guided himself to your entrance, head nestling playfully between your lips. You moaned into your pillow.

“Please, sir? Please will you fuck me? I wanna be good for you.”

“Mmm...you gonna squirt for me?”

“I--I’ll try.”

“You will.”

When he presses against you the lube is still cool against your skin and you intertwine your fingers behind your back as the stretch of him filling you descends. It’s in some ways your favorite part. Just him pushing in for the first time. Your body never holds on to the exact feeling of his length stretching your walls, so it feels new every time. It feels new but it also feels right and it feels like your body is evolving. Like you’re nothing without his touch.

Before you’ve even gotten the chance to familiarize yourself with him, he’s already pulling out until just the head rests inside of you. And his palm rests right in the small of your back above your ass and he makes a sound that might as well be praise, might as well tell you you’re perfect. It’s light and airy and somehow fills you even more than his dick ever could. You preen under it.

“You feel so good.” He sighed. “Always so fucking good for me.”

You tilt your head over your shoulder to make eye contact with him. His cheeks are rosy but his eyes are hard and dark, this constant balancing act between something that reeked of sweetness and something that reeked of the opposite.

“I wanna be good for you. Put it in me please? Let me make you feel good.”

His eyes meet yours and his lips part at your words sucking an inhale of breath that tells you you’ve done good. The words that you share with each other are half of the whole thing.

“Such a good girl.” He murmured angling himself back inside of you. “How should I take you tonight? Hard and fast? Or slow and deep?”

Your fingers twitched from your restraints.

“W--Whatever makes you feel the best.”

“God you’re perfect.” He sighed starting a slow rhythm with his hips. “You always cum for me regardless. Just wanna make you cum.”

His hands reach for yours, fingers intertwining even through the rope. He digs his knees into the bed and starts to move in that way that drives your body mad. You feel so full, so endlessly and completely full. It’s too much. And he knows it because you’re definitely not hiding it. You cry out into your pillow and gasp desperately every time his hips touch yours. When you’re not loud enough for him he tugs you by your shoulder so that your moans enter the stagnant air of his apartment. There’s no faking this. He’s taking you for all that you are and he’s not letting up, wouldn’t dream of it.

His fingers grab at the very edges of your ass, slightly digging into the meat of your thighs as he moves to a slower deeper rhythm. He was right. It didn’t really seem to matter how he moved, it was always gonna feel so good you couldn’t stand it.

There’s a wet squelching as he focuses on getting deeper and deeper within you. Your back arches as he touches something that lights your nerves on fire, makes your back arch, and your moans skyrocket.

“S--Shawn! Oh my god. Oh my god right there.”

“Right there?” He grunted hips tilting to the most amazing place he could occupy.

“Yes! Yes! Holy shit!”

“You’re fucking voice, Jesus.”

His wrist came down hard, hand slapping against your skin and making you cry out further. He tightened the ropes slightly his hips pistoning in and out until an overload of sensations was hitting you. The pain of the slap. The stretch of your muscles being pulled behind you. And the searing hot pleasure every time he rubbed against whatever it was that was driving you up the wall. You’d never made sounds like the ones he was having you make. It was beyond anything you’d ever felt before. And the sobs pouring out from your throat only added to the feeling. Every gasp of breath that you took was a heightening of pleasure, of utter ecstasy.

“I can feel your pussy tightening for me. You’re so close for me, aren’t you?”

His hands are burning into your skin. You can’t breathe. It’s too much. It all feels like too much.

“I--I can’t. I don’t even--Fuck!” You cried. “I think I’m gonna--”

It starts as a tremble in your thighs. And your stomach tightens. And your fingers clench. And then it moves down your legs and into your toes. The sounds that you make get higher, breathier. Perhaps because you’ve got nothing left to give. He’s taking it all from you. It’s different. Different than anything ever.

You feel it when he pulls out of you. Feel the gush between your thighs and the throbbing in your clit. It’s intense. And the fact that you can’t touch anything. Can’t even struggle for a grip on what’s happening makes it all the more overwhelming. You feel the tears sting your eyes and for last of a better word you scream.

“Holy shit. You look so fucking good.” He hummed fingers rubbing against you as you shake and pulse. “Let it all out for me.”

He slides his fingers inside you and rubs at your clit sending you collapsing against the sheets in a sticky heap.

“Please. Please. I can’t.” You whimpered.

“Such a good girl for me.” He sighed climbing back on top of your thighs, his dick twitching anxiously at your entrance.

You’d never heard his voice sound like that before. It was so raw and blissful. Like you’d given him everything and then some. It makes you feel so good. Better even than the orgasm. You just want him to feel good.

“I’m gonna cum,” He huffed. “Good god I’m gonna fucking cum.”

His thrusts are sloppy, all sense of rhythm and precision gone. But it doesn’t matter. You’re still riding the wave. And when he presses his body against yours, his teeth biting down on your neck, it’s everything. In that moment, he’s everything. When he cums it’s like completion for you both. You find the will to tighten your muscles against him, milking him for all he’s worth even in your state of exhausting.

“Fuckin aye, y/n.” He whined. “You’re perfect.”

He pulls out of you and collapses beside you, each of you gasping for breath. Holy shit.

“That was good. Shit, that was our best yet.”

You nodded shakily still unable to form words. He peered over at you, eyes taking in every part of you. After everything it still makes you flutter inside.

“Okay,” He breathed cupping your jaw. “Time to take care of you.”

He rolled over again, straddling your thighs and you can feel your thighs twitch even then.

“I--I don’t think I can go again.” You whispered.

He chuckled behind you. “Not gonna make you go again. I’m just gonna undo these knots and get you into some aftercare.”

“Aftercare?”

He worked quickly to undo the knots, his fingers gentle but perfect.

“Let me explain afterwards okay? It’s important that we do this now.”

“O--Okay.”

Your arms collapse against the bed when the rope is removed. His fingers are immediately there, rubbing deep and firm into your skin.

“Sit up for me.” He murmured.

He’s there with a glass of water held directly to your lips. “Drink.”

You don’t realize how parched you are until the liquid runs over your throat. You reached for the glass out of his hand and finished the entire thing in one go. He smiled at you fingers till massaging your arms.

“Look I...I want to get you into the shower. It’ll help with the soreness and any fluids. I don’t have to be in there with you if you don’t want, but I think that I should. If that’s okay with you?”

You flexed your fingers against his hold, still trying to find your way back down from the clouds.

“Yea. Uh, you can come. Please?”

The water is warm, a little more on the hot side and it really does feel good on your muscles. But the feeling of the body wash on your back is even better. It’s not inherently sexual, but it feels intimate. The way his hands mapped over your hips and down your thighs. His fingers danced over your neck and between your shoulder blades. He didn’t kiss you or talk dirty or anything, but your legs--which already felt like jelly--were intertwined with his own where you stood. It was another thing that you weren’t exactly sharing with anyone else in your life. And so it wasn’t insignificant. What it meant, you weren’t sure, but it meant something.

“Do you feel okay?” He asked wrapping you in a towel post shower.

It was so different than the norm for the two of you. Shawn was an attentive lover for sure, but that still usually ended the second he wiped the cum and lube between your legs. This was a different experience entirely, although the sex had been different too. You leaned into him a little more, biting your lip when his arms wrapped around you.

“I feel a little foggy.” You admitted. “But good. I feel really good.”

A giggle passed through your lips at how good you actually felt. You had to still your fingers on his arms to stop you from stumbling. He pulled you against his chest and laughed at your state of jelliness.

“I’ve got some lotion for your arms and back. Just in case. Do you need me to carry you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Your dick ain’t that special. I can still walk.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. Just try to keep yourself upright.” He smirked.

Rude.

There’s another intimate moment where you’re sat on the edge of his bed, towel and lube long forgotten as he rubs the lotion into your back. You let your head tilt forward bonelessly and you’re at a loss for how good he’s managed to make you feel tonight. It’s a lot to absorb.

“You never explained.” You whispered, fingers digging into the softness of the sheets.

“Explained what?”

“The aftercare. W--What is it?”

“Oh. It’s just what I’m doing to you right now. I knew I wanted to do the ropes, but I’ve never actually done it before, so I had to read up a little bit.”

“Wait,” You stopped him peering over your shoulder. “You’ve never done this before?”

He shook his head. “No. It’s just something I wanted to try with you cause I...like trust you, or whatever. But, then I started looking into it and read about this thing called subdrop? It’s like...like your body gets so many endorphins and adrenaline during what we were doing, that sometimes people get a little overwhelmed or sad afterwards. Aftercare is the way of making sure you’re safe and taken care of after the fact. Do your arms hurt at all?”

You hummed at his fingers moved to massaging your hands with the lotion.

“No I--I feel amazing actually. Just tired is all.”

“Good. You can uh sleep here. Or at least rest for a few hours before you go home.”

“Yea?” You asked.

The way his cheeks went a little red did not go unnoticed to you by any means.

“Yea. You know, if you want.”

“Okay.” You nodded. “Thank you.”

You end up in one of his t-shirts, your panties back on your hips and his hand on your ass. It’s a wonderful combination. The fact that each of you falls asleep almost immediately? Another great combination.

Permanent taglist 

@simpledomain @liliane106   @xeuphorically-moonstruck @euphoric05 @daijanicole @bruhh-whateven @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @decewill @goldiean @bitchacho25 @bruhh-whateven @sinplisticshawn @kamahriii @thecurlsofgod @lifeoftheparty74

Arrangement Taglist: 

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#shawn mendes #Shawn mendes fic #Shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes smut #Shawn mendes x you #Shawn mendes x y/n #Shawn mendes x reader #Shawn mendes x black reader #Shawn mendes x black woman #Arrangement fic #shawn peter raul mendes #Shawn mendes one shot #Shawn mendes series #Shawn mendes blurb #dom!shawn #sub reader #Shawn mendes x black oc

[dzamie-oc]

6: Hidden

“...so by adjusting the variable theta here in the matrix, you can alter the angle of rotation.”

Ocellus kept her eyes on her note paper, making clean, orderly brackets to house the grids of numbers and trigonometric functions. She flicked her forked tongue, getting a cursory taste of the emotions in the room. The delicious, cool flavor of learning and understanding, soured slightly by a smattering of confusion. A couple spicy motes of frustration, largest from where Smolder sat. The changeling glanced towards the dragon, finding that her friend’s own eyes were darting between the chalkboard, Headmare Starlight, and... her. Pulling herself back from the draw of nibbling on the emotions, Ocellus startled when she realized she had missed two entire equations being written. That they were just the first steps in a practice problem was small comfort to the blue-chitin changeling; who knew what verbal instructions she could have missed, too?

After catching back up in her notes, she chanced another taste, intending to take more of a passive taste, paying more attention to class. However, what she intended was overruled harder Princess Celestia denying Prince Blueblood the last bite of her cake; an intoxicating wave of lust filled her tastebuds, overpowering nearly every other emotion in the room. Reflexively, Ocellus turned towards its source, both surprised and suddenly hungry - although she hated to admit it. Not only was it filling yet almost nutritionally useless, the taste and her reaction recalled memories in her from before the Great Reformation, when she had been drawn towards and fed on such strong love-adjacent emotions.

Nonetheless, she found herself staring at her dragon friend, who was now staring entirely at her. A light blush crept onto her cheeks as she considered the implications: her unsubtle, willful dragon friend was focused wholly on her, and thinking incredibly lewd thoughts at her. Her thoughts were once more diverted when the lust suddenly cut off, replaced by a more platonic desire. In the back of her mind, she acknowledged that Headmare Starlight was going over the answer to the problem on the board, almost unconsciously copying down the correct answer for later comparison; at present, though, she noticed Smolder repeatedly moving her hand. Thumb and fingers together, save for an extended pinky, rocking back towards the dragoness twice. Pause, hand still in position, and another two rocks. It was a sign the two of them had worked out - miming the high-society griffon etiquette for holding a teacup.

Ocellus smiled and nodded ever so slightly, then waited until Smolder smiled back, put her hand down, and turned back to the front of the class before doing the same herself. She mentally kicked herself for dropping her attention from class, but reassured herself that friends were important, as well. After all, the School of Friendship has “friendship” right in its name... as well as school, so she resolved to stay focused on the lesson until after class. Her pencil once more found the paper when the headmare moved onto three-dimensional transformation matrices, and her tail subconsciously began to sway back and forth as she drank in the learning - almost literally, as an emotivore!

After class, Ocellus met up with the dragon, who was leaning against the wall outside of the classroom. “Was that... necessary?” she asked, her blush returning with the memory of the wave of lust, “I mean, you could have asked me after class; I tend to linger the longest to speak with our professors.”

Smolder smirked. “No, but I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t stay for an hour or two after Starlight Glimmer dismissed us and take up all the time we could’ve used. Seeing your reaction was just a bonus. So, same place as before?”

Ocellus nodded, starting to walk with her friend. “That works. I’ll drop off my stuff back in our room first, and then we can head out.”

“Sounds good. I’ll tag along; I’ve gotta grab a-” the dragoness cut herself off, looking around at the ponies and creatures around, “a... a thing. My thing.”

Back in their room, the two students swapped out their schoolbooks for a small selection of carefully-folded dresses. Ocellus levitated a tube of lipstick into Smolder’s bag for her, and added a bottle of hoof polish and a compact of blush to her own. Loaded up with their secret payload of fancy fittings, the two girls strode out of their room, sharing fanged smiles.

They made it to the main hall before somecreature noticed and approached them. Silverstream, with her distinctly bubbly step, strode up to the pair. Ocellus flicked out her tongue and got back a hefty dose of curiosity from the hippogriff, fighting against that spicy taste of frustration (and the faintest hint of shame) from the dragon beside her.

“Hi Celly, Smolder! Are you two heading out?”

The changeling nodded. “Yep. Just the two of us.”

“Ooh, girl’s night! Or, girl’s afternoon. Whatcha gonna do?” Her bright, innocent smile was infectious, and Ocellus found her own lips curling up. She stayed silent, however, unwilling to tell her friend where she was going with the dragon.

Fortunately for her, Smolder had had years of hiding her secret interest. Unfortunately for her, Smolder was Smolder. “We’re going to set a new record for longest two-creature lesbian makeout session. Do you want to come?”

The sarcasm flew straight over the hippogriff’s head, and her enthusiastic nodding only abated when Smolder’s deadpan expression and admission that she had just been messing with her sunk in. With a promise to have a good time given, the pair strode out of the building, before making their way through the meandering, misleading path to a secret spot in the woods.

Ocellus and Smolder walked up to the large, flat stump in the middle of the forest clearing and set about setting up. From Smolder’s pack came a white tablecloth, fringed with lace. From Ocellus’s, a teapot, two saucers, and two teacups. The makeup came out next, and finally, the dresses. Smolder slipped hers on with an ease that came from far more practice than she would ever admit. As for the changeling...

“So, myself or Professor Rarity? She has the accent and mannerisms for it.” Ocellus held two dresses aloft in her teal magic, looking between them.

“Hmm... Probably not Rarity, but...” Smolder’s off-center stance and stroking of her chin were a stark contrast to the frilly, pale pink dress she wore as she thought, “I think, maybe... Oh! Could you do Gallus? I bet he’d look ADORABLE in a dress!”

That drew a grin and a giggle from the changeling. A wave of fire washed over her form, and in the next moment, a pair of yellow eagle claws caught the two floating dresses before they could hit the ground. ‘Gallus’ handed one to Smolder to fold and return to Ocellus’s bag, and the griffon set about fitting into the other one. After a little difficulty, getting stuck twice, and ultimately asking Smolder for help with the wings, ‘Gallus’ was proudly sporting a pale yellow dress. “Well? How do I look?” ‘he’ asked the dragoness.

“Heh. Actually, not bad. The next time we play Truth or Dare with the boys, I think I’ve got a good idea.” Smolder leaned to one side, then the other, taking in the griffon’s form. “But, I think you’re missing something very important.”

The grinning dragon held up a couple of the makeup implements before setting them down. The pair of friends spent some time matching blush to their scales and feathers, picking out the right lipstick - or beakstick, as it were - painting each other’s claws, and otherwise gussying themselves and each other up until they both looked like slightly exaggerated versions of the fanciest fancy bourgeoisie to be found in Canterlot - nay, all of Equestria.

Smolder cleared her throat. “Now then, Madam Gallus, shall we?” she prompted in a Received Equestrian accent, “it would be a terrible shame to come all the way here for some tea, and to then forget the beverage in entirety!”

‘Gallus’ gave a proper curtsey, then stepped up to the stump. ‘He’ picked up the teapot in one hand, held the lid on with the other, and gracefully tipped it over, pouring a cup for Smolder, and then a cup for ‘himself.’ With two steaming cups of tea properly set on their saucers, the well-dressed duo took their seats. ‘Gallus’ added two sugar cubes to the cup in front of ‘him;’ Smolder added only one. Keeping their pinky claws extended, they lifted their cups and politely toasted their friendship. 

Hidden away in the calm, peaceful grove, the disguised changeling and her dragon friend traded light gossip, homework tips, and compliments. Their table manners would put several Canterlot nobles to shame, and over time, the level of tea in the teapot declined. The pair were in the middle of discussing which creature in their friends group had the shapeliest rear when Sandbar wandered into the clearing and promptly did a double-take.

The three of them stared at each other for a minute, before ‘Gallus’ finally spoke up, “we... lost a bet to Ocellus. Why she has these dresses, I haven’t the foggiest, but she’s, uh...” the griffon turned his head to look around, “well, she’s one of these branches around, to make sure we keep the deal.”

Smolder’s look of shock faded as her friend spun the tale. “Yeah, but look. This whole thing? Never happened. You’re gonna leave, and next time we see each other, it’s like we weren’t even here, even if you ask. Right, Gallus?”

‘Gallus’ nodded. “Yeah, you’re actually lucky I’m not denying this right now. Anyway, we’ve got, like, another teacup to finish before this is over. See you back at school.”

Content with their answer, the pony silently nodded and walked back off through the forest. Once they were sure he was out of sight and hearing, both of the well-dressed creatures let out a big sigh of relief. Their secret was safe. And they still had some tea left to talk over.

#dragons #My Little Pony #ocellus #smolder #smolcellus #changelings #fanfiction #text #smaugust in november

[thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters]

JJ’s Rockin’ 100 (Ready, set… DRABBLE!)

This is long overdue but I really wanted to do this. It always looks like so much fun and even if I only get one request, I wanted to have given you guys the chance to let me thank you properly for your support.

BECAUSE a little while back, this blog reached its first milestone!

Thank you to everyone who decided to join this fanfic-loving family and continue to help me spread the love to all those talented writers on this platform. Not only that, but also the love I’ve received since I started posting my own work. I can’t thank you guys enough <3

As for the way I plan to celebrate with you guys:

I have made a list of, wait for it… one-hundred drabble prompts. Fitting, isn’t it? I think so. All you have to do is tell me which one you’d like me to use in a drabble, and I’ll get writing :)

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS

1.       (A) You will find the prompt list below the cut at the bottom of this post. You can pick only one.           (B) Some of the prompts contain a ‘[blank]’. It is entirely up to you what you want this to say, so let your creativity flow and let me know! To make sure I know what exactly you want me to put in the blank, put the same brackets around it in your request, like this: [insert idea] 2.      Once you have selected a prompt, it’s time to pick a brother. For now I’ll only write reader-inserts for Sam or Dean, so I’ll need to know who you want me to pair the reader with in your custom drabble. 3.      OPTIONAL: If you want, you can give me a trope to work around. This can be anything, but for clarification I’ll give some examples: fluff, angst, break-up, first date, nightmare, etcetera. Just make sure to keep it either one word or a short phrase. 4.      Once you have picked all your factors, it’s time to send in the request! You can do this HERE by sending me an ask.       Example 1: “#3 with Sam, [you’re right]”       Example 2: “#55 with Dean, hunt gone wrong” 5.      MUST BE FOLLOWING! Because this is a follower celebration, I will not accept anonymous asks. If you, for any reason, really do not want anyone to know you are the one who requested the drabble, shoot me a message through pm and we’ll figure something out! No problem, I want to celebrate with every single one of you (:

REQUEST DEADLINE: Undetermined (going to leave it open permanently, for now)

ASK BOX || MAIN MASTERLIST

Let me know if you have any more questions! Signal boosts are always appreciated, of course

Special thanks to @manawhaat for helping me figure out how best to go about this celebration. Sorry I’m such a pain in the ass to brainstorm with! You’re a godsend, really.

-

FINISHED DRABBLES

Prompt List

1. "Do you think this is funny?" 2. "I like it. It looks good on you." 3. "I can't believe I'm about to say this but [blank]." 4. "Did you not hear what I just said?" 5. "If there ever was a right time to tell you, I know this is it." 6. "Stop making excuses. I'm sick of them." 7. "I am never going to be able to live this down, am I?" 8. "Why are we whispering?" 9. "I know that look, and I don't like it." 10. "Is that a hickey?" 11. "I'm about two seconds away from punching you in the nose." 12. "Let's think this through first, okay? Please." 13. "I breathe bad luck." 14. "Remember three seconds ago when I told you to fuck off?" 15. "I thought I lost you." 16. "Oh, that's rich coming from you." 17. "You would look good in that." 18. "That was about as subtle as a wrecking ball." 19. "Why is your tongue blue?" 20. "This is exactly why I didn't tell you." 21. "Does that answer your question?" - "Not even a little bit." 22. "Did you just hiss at me?" 23. "If we weren't about to die, I would totally kiss you right now." 24. "You singlehandedly took down a nest of vamps last week like it was nothing, but this scares you?" 25. "I told you to stay out of it!" 26. "Yes, right there!" 27. "I did it to protect you." 28. "You're lucky you're cute." 29. "Why is it always me?" 30. "You did that on purpose!" 31. "Can't you see I'm right here?" 32. "Take off your clothes." 33. "Let me make it up to you." 34. "How can you live with yourself?" 35. "What time is it?" - "One minute later than the last time you asked." 36. "Stop touching it!" 37. "Don't let the door hit you on your way out." 38. "How do you live with yourself?" 39. "Let's do it right there on that couch." 40. "On the count of three, okay? One... Two..." - "Wait!" 41. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this." 42. "Time for plan B." - "We didn't even have a plan A." 43. "Would you just shut up and listen for one second!" 44. "All right, that's it. I have officially seen it all." 45. "You owe me big time." 46. "Don't even think about it." 47. "You look like you've seen a ghost." 48. "Of all the people to get trapped in an elevator with, it had to be you." 49. "After all this is over, we should [blank]." 50. "I beg your pardon?" - "Oh, I'll get you begging for much more." 51. "That's a lot of blood." 52. "Say something, damnit!" 53. "You're toxic." 54. "Let's try this again, shall we?" 55. "I trust you." - "I gotta tell you that's a bad idea." 56. "Let's just get this over with." 57. "Are you high?" 58. "I only looked away for a second, I swear!" 59. "If you die, I'm gonna kill you." 60. "You were talking in your sleep." 61. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to hear about it. I just want to forget about it." 62. "Are you jealous? You are totally jealous." 63. "I can't even look at you right now." 64. "You're embarrassing me!" 65. "I'll play you for it." 66. "Keep saying things like that and I'm gonna [blank]." 67. "Step away from the [blank]. Slowly." 68. "If you do this, I will never forgive you." 69. "Someone's looking a little hot and bothered right now." 70. "Why were you screaming?" 71. "Are you attracted to her?" 72. "I'll treat ya real nice." 73. "Why can't we do it the easy way?" 74. "You touched it!" 75. "You made a list of [blank]?" 76. "Are you asking me out?" - "I think I am." 77. "Is that a gun in your pocket?" 78. "Did you just take a picture of that?" 79. "That is just absolutely disgusting." 80. "We're not friends." 81. "Good morning, sunshine!" - "It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon." 82. "What's that smell?" - "Sorry." 83. "I've got nothing left to lose." 84. "Monsters aren't real." 85. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" 86. "That wasn't a request, it's an order." 87. "You go first." - "Why do I always have to go first?" 88. "Can you just leave?" - "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me." 89. "I don't really have a choice, do I?" 90. "I found him in the [blank]... Asleep." 91. "Say please." - "How about 'fuck off'? Will that do?" 92. "What would be the fun in that?" 93. "I don't trust you." - "Good. You shouldn't." 94. "You planned this from the start, didn't you?" 95. "You can't just sit in your room and listen to break-up songs for three days straight." 96. "Why are you doing this to me?" 97. "You are the last person I want to talk to right now." 98. "Don't think I'm gonna start being nice to you now just because you [blank]." 99. "Am I drunk?" 100. "Everyone keeps telling me I should stay away from you."

#JJ's Rockin' 100 #supernatural #follower celebration #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #sam x reader #dean x reader #drabble prompts

[unproduciblesmackdown]

throwing out some random numbers: 2, 23, 27, 39, 53, 58, 64, 76, 89

that’s the spirit tyvm.....you don’t know what these numbers will give me, idk what i’ll get from them, we’re just gonna see where it goes together

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

this time i’ll cape for lollipops. they can be fun colors! you can hold the stick in your mouth as something to fidget with.....Fruit Flavor....

23. strange habits?

hmm i mean [autistic behavior] which would seem ~strange~ but only from that certain perspective.......i think One Weird Trick i do is from this nightmare time when like, one semester in college i guess uhhh that was wow a decade ago lmao i had 8 am classes every day for 2 semesters and my roommate and i were night owls so i’d (generally) go to bed earlier and i got in the habit of like, covering my head (or the top half anyways) with like a robe or towel or whatever to block out the light. makeshift sleep mask basically. except i’ve slept like that ever since and it feels weird to Not do so. and i doubt an Actual sleep mask would cut it cuz it’s partially the weight thing. i can only imagine how fun a weighted blanket is lol

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

going tf inside!!!!!!! cold weather is garbage. although once i did go ice skating and reasonably enjoyed it. i like skating

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

i don’t like pie very much lmao i think the Crust is generally disappointing and i’m not big on the fillings. that said, lemon meringue is a Superior Pie and i’ve made it probably at least a dozen times, it’s pretty fun i think. but still the answer is lemon cake. lemon cake is amazing. cake is amazing. no contest between like, do i want some Amazing fancy pie? or do i want this $1.50 cake mix? i would probably want the cake. or i’d at least have to take a moment to think about it even if going with the pie cuz yeah some pie Is good and u can’t quite get the same flavors in a cake, like rhubarb. i don’t know that rhubarb cake exists. but lemon cake is great. lemon Pound cake hell fucking yes Please

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my hands are fine. they’re here and the same as ever. my nails are already a little too long but not to the point i Gotta cut them cuz it’s annoying tf out of me.....they’re not very dry, which is good, cuz yknow sometimes in the winter it’s like oh no i need lotion to live or smthing.....one time it was winter and i had dryass hands and we went to this Concert and i was just clapping enthusiastically and it made the back of one hand bleed lmao like yikes. the back of my right hand has a freckle although maybe that’s a mole, i haven’t been paying enough attention to know for sure lol.....i used to have a freckle in the middle of my palm on my left hand but that faded a while back. speaking of my palms the other day i was like, hmm is there some weird subtle like crepeiness in the surface of my Palm Skin??? it seemed like there was weird like, lattice-forming creasiness going along the Length of my fingers / across my palm. it might’ve been a vitamin d thing so i ate 3 eggs. today my hands seem more normal but the whole thing might’ve just been me making it up + placebo yolks. but either way. very normal hand day i’m having rn

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

man idk lol. i can get shy cats to like me sometimes. you just Be Chill with them and let them get used to you, idk it’s not hard @ anyone who thinks befriending cats is difficult like, probably that’s just you doing it way wrong........i can cook decently well, that’s handy i think and it can be fun even though it’s also this whole involved hassle......i like to Draw Emotively (in that the drawings are emotionally evocative / expressive, not that the way that i draw is particularly emotive) and i like when people like it / read it as Expressively as intended, i guess i’m proud? like, mission accomplished.......oh wait yeah and damn when i practiced ballet for like a whole decade i was proud of being good at that i guess cuz yknow, Effort, same as with drawing lol i’ve been doing it for a hot minute, i can be proud of those results.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

i wasn’t very Online as a kid b/c we had the one computer w/ a dialup connection & just like, whenever i was using the computer lots it was Pc Games......didn’t rly be on the Net much until Late ‘08.......

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

i’ve said latkes but you know who really supports me recently is a Whole potato i just scrub off and microwave and cut up and throw some salt n peppy and Shedd’s Spread uponst. like thank you so much for these nutrients and easy preparation, Staple Food

89. who would you put before everyone else?

hmph i don’t like, like, this Pyramid Tiering of everyone in your life with these higher and lower Levels of mattering-to-youness. i mean yeah sure i think we agree that it’s generally the case that we have More casual acquaintances vs friends vs Close friends and so on, but like. why are we gonna accept this Concept where like “okay but What If you need to only pick One Person.” like we’re driverless cars who need to program ourselves about whose life we prioritize, are we gonna run over This pedestrian or That one, who’s Winningest in the “being important to us” game. like we’re not a parent and the house is on fire and which of our three children do we love the most? well like, whose bedroom is closest. which of them hasn’t already bailed out a window. what if our Favorite isn’t the one we’d help first cuz maybe someone needs our help more at some particular time. like what does this question even mean!!!! what is the purpose of asking it??? i don’t like the premise or accept it. and it smacks of [those Concepts surrounding ~romance~ which i also do not like or vibe with]. no b.a.e........i’d go all out for Friends or for People I’ve Never Met But Respect or for Strangers.......some ppl would not get my all-out effort lmao or will get my nah-i-won’t-lift-a-finger lol but that’s if they’re like reeeal shitty. but like why should we whittle down ppl’s Importance to us to like “okay but who’s the 1 the ONE person who you care MOST about” like goddamn why are we adopting this framework. like ideally we have a Community of ppl in our lives who have different relationships / roles / connections to us, and this is pretty complex and why even Think about like, well there *has* to be the One who you prioritize Most Every Time, and you need to Know who that is......like what does that mean. and you know like. maybe the people who are in your life most intimately aren’t always the ones who have the strongest Help/Support ties to you here......like relationships are complicated and varied and having a network of people is better than like the idea that we should be fine and thriving with [The ~Soulmate~] [the friends who are kinda important but pale in comparison to The Soulmate] [family?] [acquaintances] like well if you Would Die For This Person and They’d Die For You you guys are obviously set!! 

anyways i went off about it but i get mad about this stuff like. the stuff that feels like it’s even within 2 degrees of talking about those Soulmates and romantique notions like being incomplete or inherently unfulfilled without That One Special Someone. and even throwing the Romance out the window, why like, have your network of relationships put into a Tournament Bracket where you whittle down who matters most until the Champion emerges????? goddamn

#n(aro)ws eyes...... #Normal Hand Day #Anonymous

[wrenhavenriver]

How do you make your game gif sets?

you mean the actual technical process of it? luckily there are a lot of helpful tutorials out there (try even just “site:tumblr.com gif tutorial” in google) that explain the process in much more depth and with helpful pictures showing how to navigate all the menus i talk about here, but my general process is something like this:

first i upload my gaming footage to my youtube account and then download the video from the creator studio so i have it ready to go on my laptop in mp4 format. from there i open photoshop and go under file > import > import video to frames and move the arrows in the box that pops up so that they bracket the general portion of the video i want to gif (selecting the checkbox so it picks every two or three frames–otherwise you get way too many frames with not enough actually moving to be visually interesting). from there i refine the generated frames down to a reasonable amount (usually ~30 but sometimes up to 80, depending on the canvas size and the color saturation of what’s being gif’d) and then also check to make sure that the first and last frames loop in a way that isn’t super jarring (though sometimes this part just isn’t possible with the footage you’ve got–ya gotta pick your gif battles). crop and resize as needed.

after that i generally start adding adjustment layers (layer > new adjustment layer > levels/ curves/ hue/saturation/ color balance/ etc etc depending on the quality of the footage and the desired effect). it takes a lot of trial and error–first just to learn what everything does–but also to get a consistent look for gifs coming from multiple different scenes with inconsistent lighting sources and the like. once i’m satisfied (or at least tired of staring at the screen) i highlight all the frames in the animation bar and change the frame delay to about ~.08 so the gif won’t play at hyper speed (this is definitely a personal preference thing–most tutorials i’ve seen suggest around a 0.04 or 0.05 delay, but those kind of disorient me). from there i go under filter > convert to timeline and filter > convert for smart filters–this bunches all your frames together into one bundle so you can sharpen (filter > sharpen > smart sharpen is your friend) or smooth (filter > blur > gaussian blur is your other friend) them all at once. 

after that it’s a matter of going to file > export, double checking that you’re under tumblr’s 3mb size limit and deleting frames or altering the levels/coloring/saturation if you’re not, changing the looping option from “once” to “forever” so the gif doesn’t freeze after one playthrough, and then plugging it into a tumblr photo post. i usually go through at least a couple revisions based on how the gifs actually look next to each other before posting (this is where that inconsistent lighting thing gets especially irritating). 

so yeah, that’s the basic process i use, though the exact details will vary based on the software you’re using and what you’re trying to make. again, definitely search around for some basic tutorials with pictures of all the menu locations/ checkboxes/settings details/etc if you’re wanting to try it out for yourself. 

#publishing because there's no way tumblr will deliver an ask this long lmao #anyway it's honestly really fun it just takes a while to figure out the program you're using #archdukegrand #asks

[buckv-barnes]

Ace Comic Con Panel - Sebastian’s Q&A

full video - part one | two | three

note: i’ve put brackets around some of the fan questions that you might have heard about or you don’t want to read :)

Kevin Smith: -Give it up for Bucky Barnes himself - Sebastian Stan.

Sebastian Stan: What an intro, thank you so much. Thank you.

KS: Don’t be weird, sit right here man.

SS: This couch-

KS: Come on closer, it’s not like we’re in a movie theater like, you sit over there. How are you sir?

SS: No, i’m good. I’m just seeing this couch is big for three. But of, course there’s only one. You know, I’m the only one here, of course, because Tom Holland is two hours behind. “Two hours behind.” And he’s not gonna be here with me. So, I wonder why that is?

KS: He doesn’t like sharing the stage with you?

SS: No, no he doesn't. I actually heard a rumour from Joe that said, you know, he was like Holland doesn't want to have any scenes with you and Mackie. And I was like c'mon that's a joke. Like you know, the whole things a joke. There might be some truth to it, but I don't know.

KS: It was after that first experience in Civil War like, 'I’m done with these guys?'

SS: Yeah, maybe. That might have been it, or just any other times we walked into each other sort of, you know like, on the lot, or on the set or whatever. He doesn't, you know, he just seems to be very after his own needs.

KS: He's not looking after Bucky's needs is what you’re saying?

SS: No, he's looking at the Downey camp like, 'When am I going to have that camp?' That's kind of what he's like. Anyway.

KS: We're gonna tell him when he comes out here and see if he cries.

SS: Please do.

KS: What, er, take us back to the beginning, when you first find out you're going to be in 'Captain America: The First Avenger'. Did they tell you, this character, could keep going? Was there plans at that point?

SS: Yeah, I mean they, you know, they did talk about that, and-, but it was a very strange kinda conversation, because there was nothing definitive about it, just sort of like- 'Look we'd like to see this go that way one day, if we're lucky enough and the movies doing(?) well.' And I was like, 'Great, that sounds great. Let’s do it.' But, yeah, I didn't necessary think that was going to happen. I just, it was good they told me because I, tried to think about the future when we were shooting that first movie and just hopefully, lay in stuff that may, be able to track later in the movies and the character.

KS: So, when you were shooting, ‘The First Avenger’, and ‘Bucky, dies’, for all intensive(?) purposes, there is no guarantee you can come back, you’ll be like, ‘this may be my death scene’.

SS: Well, you know I had a little guarantee, I’ve said this before. The first time I fell off the train, I did only have the one arm. I had a green sleeve, meaning that they were going to do something with it. And I was like this is good, that means we could probably, maybe, that’s where it’s gonna go. And then we ended up re-shooting that scene without the green sleeve, and I was like, ‘Oh’. Maybe, I am dead. Which is kind of- am now?

KS: Apparently, I’m not Bucky as much as I Sucky(?) and they cut me out of the movie. So when do you find out though, like hey man, next movie your character’s right in the title with the main character?

SS: Well, I pretty sure, the way I found out about that title was, a friend of mine called me from Comic Con and said, ‘Dude, you’re in the movie.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, really?’ and they were like, ‘Yeah! Because the title is your characters’ in the title.’ (note: that is how he said it!) And that’s how I found out.

KS: What was it like as an actor, I’m sure you were never ‘Man, I wanna be in blockbusters’, but eventually it happened. What was it like, when somebody’s like you’re going from playing a very sporting character in the first movie to, it’s going to be your movie, your co-sharing that movie, the second time around?

SS: It’s probably a lot of pressure when but not, you feel a little scared, I certainly was. I don’t- You rise up to the challenge, I mean, it’s good to be scared. Right? It’s good thing and there was a real opportunity there for me and, in a sense of like taking the character in that direction. I welcomed it. But again, I never- I’m used to it now, I never know where they’re going to take that situation. I didn’t even know what happened in the last movie (Infinity War) until we were shooting it.

KS: I spoke to Elizabeth (Olsen) and Paul Bettany this morning, and we were talking about the ending in Infinity War, and they were like, the Russo’s pulled them into a van and just before they shot the scene they were like, this is the ending of the movie. That’s how they found out about it. Did you get the van treatment as well?

SS: I know the van they’re talking about. I said, I’m not going in that van.

KS: You were raised right, you had smart parents.

SS: I was like, I wanna be around people when they tell me this. But yeah, this is when you disappear. I was like, ‘what does this mean? Really?’ or, I don’t know, it was right on the day. It’s kind of amazing, the Russo’s, if you think about it you have- If you think about it my character makes sense to be in the dark, in a way, he sort of is in the dark. Just the way they were able to put that movie together is fascinating. It was kind of exciting for all of us because when we were sitting there at the premiere, we were seeing it for the first time.

KS: Something as spiralling as that, I imagine, it’s hard to keep track of a movie, you’re almost in every scene, something like Infinity War you’re like ‘Wait, we’re in Wakanda. What’s going on in space? Don’t worry about it.’

SS: Yeah, which is what the character sort of got as a message anyway. It was sort of like, you’re needed again, so if you wanna gain anybody’s trust, you better go with the flow.

KS: The movies like this in terms of other performances an actor gets to do, a lot of it is physical, there’s a lot of action and what not. How long in advance, I’ve always wondered, everyone in these movies is in impeccably in shape. Sooner or later they’ll be like, ‘Take you shirt off!’ and we’ll see dudes with their shirts of which I know makes me feel bad. (Crowd screaming) He’s not going to take his shirt of.

SS: They’re not asking Anthony Mackie to take his shirt off. He’s up on those wires anyway.

KS: How long before the movie begins do you have to start getting in shape? Getting physical? Or is that normal a part of your regime anyway? Or do you have to double it up in a marvel movie?

SS: No, I mean it becomes an all-around routine because when you’re not working that’s kind of what you’re doing for your sanity. Depends, you start out with a goal and then when you start shooting, there’s no way you make it to the gym at like 4 in the morning. You still try but you shoot all day, your sweating a lot and losing a lot of weight. So, by the end of the movie everybody is at least 10 pounds less when they started.

KS: Is that right? Making one of these Marvel movies is the good way to lose weight?

SS: It kind of is. Here’s the thing, if your shooting in Atlanta, it’s really hot down there and then you’re strapped in these really tight outfits and your moving constantly, running around. Your body is like a furnace burning, burning, burning.  We all go through some stress your making a movie.

KS: Bro, look at me. I never lose weight.  On movies it’s the opposite, I gain 10-15 pounds like, this looks good. It’s free? I’ll take it.

SS: I’ve definitely done the- Because you’re waiting around too, so that’s the other thing. You’re always waiting around. I’ve definitely done that part, I know what you’re saying. Fortunately with these, it’s the moving around, and you start having a lot of- your ego is pretty high and you’re like, I’m gonna do the stunts, I’m going to do as much as I can. But then when you’re doing it on the eighteenth take, your body is kind of wrecked by that point.

KS: So you, ‘Bring in that stunt person, please.’

SS: They might bring them in a lot earlier than that but they’re also the best of guys. I mean those guys really make those action sequences, Sam Hargrave and James Young were just, all the way back to the ‘Winter Soldier’. In a way they reinvented the Captain America fighting style.

KS: That second one is badass, it sorts of, it’s the boat at the beginning and just takes everybody out (?). There has been 3 Captain America movies, and you’ve been in each one of them. You got to have a favourite, which one? Is it ‘The Winter Soldier’?

SS: Yeah, I really liked that one, that one has-

KS: It’s got a lot of Sebastian in it, so yeah

SS: The Winter Solider? No! I mean the Civil War does. The Winter Soldier was cryptic and was like strange. The whole process for that was a fun for me, I’m saying this and they’ll be like ‘perfect! Lets never write a line for him again.’ I didn’t have a lot of lines for that movie. It was all kind of like, trying to tell a story physically and it was interesting in a way, I guess.

KS: I haven’t thought about it, you have way more dialogue in Civil War than you do in The Winter Soldier.

SS: Yeah.

KS: The Winter Soldier was like ‘Who the hell is Bucky?’

SS: That’s it! And then you’re haunted by that line. I was haunted for a long time. I really think I was going in circles forever, like ‘who the hell, who the hell is Bucky, who the-‘ It’s just saying-

KS: You got one line in the movie and you gotta get it right man.

SS: It’s like the Aviator, where you’re like ‘show me the blueprints.’ ‘show me-‘ ‘who the hell is Bucky.’

KS: Excellent pull on the Aviator, man. Alright take us into the world of making marvel movies. Who are you friendly with? Who do you spend a lot of time with on set? Who’s your buddy?

SS: I mean, I think, Anthony and Chris obviously were the guys im closest to and I’ve spent the most time with and I genuinely feel like, we could not talk for a year and we’d pick it right up like nothing happened. Paul Bettany’s become a friend and I just love interacting with him, anything that I- I’ve got two scenes with him barely in the last movie and I just loved every minute of it. Chadwick’s actually really funny as well, he has a sense of humour that many don’t see right away. It’s a good group of people. I don’t know. Paul Rudd is a- Can’t keep a straight face around him. A lot of great people.

KS: It’s awesome to hear, you just call him Chadwick. The rest of us calls him Chadwick Boseman and you just call him Chadwick, and you can just leave it right there, because ‘I actually know the Black Panther.’

SS: Well, in Civil War, he was kinda doing his own thing- may have done it in Black Panther- he was doing a bit of a method acting situation. He was not interacting much with people, he was off on his own.

KS: Oh really, so he was like the character, I got to stay disconnected-

SS: I was like, we weren’t really talking very much and I remember on that rooftop scene in Civil War they we kind of going head to head. He and I didn’t exchange a lot of words, all I remember is that mask coming at me and these long arms coming at me, sweeping at me. So maybe it was effective, I don’t know. He’s just really, really talented.

KS: Take us into the airport sequence in Civil War which is the greatest comic book sequences ever put into film. There’s like 928 superheroes in this scene, so it was like a real clusterf-ck. What was it like to shoot it? Did it take place over the course of a couple of weeks?

SS: Months. It was months. We was always coming back to it. There was always another sequence in that bit that we hadn’t shot yet or needed to come back to. It’s surreal when you did have a bit of down time, I mean everybody was there interacting and kind of- you didn’t always have everybody there- but the few days you did, there was a couple of shots where we had everybody like the line-ups, and that was pretty special. I didn’t want be- I was always concerned like I was going to be the slowest runner and I was like, I can’t be the last guy getting across.

KS: Making a marvel movie is like a high school gym.

SS: Yes! It is, it is.

KS: I’m not letting Evans bet me!

SS: No. It gets a little bit like that… You didn’t have Hemsworth so that was a plus. He gets on set and you’re like I don’t even know why I go to the gym. Why would I even do that. I guess that it’s mental strength!

KS: I’m not even ‘Hemworthy’ enough to be here!

SS: Yes! Definitely not! He’s insane. It’s amazing.

KS: During the course of making these movies a lot of physicality, do you ever get hurt? Ever get injured?

SS: Yeah, for sure. You’re always getting something, some hit. You never know until later because the adrenaline is really high and you’re in the middle of it and want to keep doing it and its usually the next day, your trying to get out of bed and you can’t. You feel it. Yeah.

KS: At that point you’re like f-ck Marvel? Or do you work through it like money is good.

SS: You’re like, ‘I like my job.’ No! You’re always grateful, of course! The thing is you remember what it was like when you were little, like the cowboy and Indians thing. It’s sort of that thing that never leaves you in a way, you go to work and you go ‘wow’ this is my job.  You wanna try and sell that fight as best as you can and you can’t really sell it once in a while without landing a- something.

KS: You watch something- having worked in production, I know they edit it and stuff and I know they throw fake punches. Sometimes these cats go together so hard you had to have connected.  

SS: Oh! I’m sure, it’s happened a million times!

KS: What is your best memory of making a Marvel movie so far? Happiest moment, best day so far? Or in post, cause selling the movies seem like you have a lot of fun and going out on the press circuit and stuff.

SS: I’ve never been on a press- world press tour, for anything before, that was pretty special. Just going to different places and going to Asia for the first time is still a big memory for me cause I’ve never been and you see how everybody is so excited about the movies over there and then the same in Europe. You never get over that, you never get tired of that. I think that at the end of the day going home at night and feeling like you know your part of a good goal and everybody is on the same page. You wanna make the best possible product- the thing you can. And people are looking out for you that way, it doesn’t feel like- you can be in an environment where you feel like people are competitive, where it’s weird and something. Other than trying to run fast you don’t really feel- everyone’s on the same team with this one.

KS: Alright, I’m going to open up to these cats. We’ve got two microphones right there, and people are jumping up to them right now. We’re going to start on this side…

(Fan gets attacked by the mic, Kevin replies with don’t let it break your nose. Just a fyi.)

Fan 1: First of all, I love you.

SS: I love you too.

Fan 2: What’s the worst part of being an actor? What’s the worst things that happen.

SS: Oh god, probably, falling in love with a project and then not seeing it happen and having it fall apart right before you’re shooting. That’s happened to me a few times. Or hearing the word ‘No’ over and over again, that happens a lot too.

KS: A lot of rejection in this business.

SS: Yeah, you do, you have it but there’s a way to use that to come back to it. Stronger or something.

Fan 1: Ok, cool. Another question, what’s it like working with Robert Downey Jr.?

SS: The guy is a legend. I don’t know, I grew up on Chaplin and all those movies, you never know with him, you’re gonna end up with a real reaction, you never know what’s coming at you. He’s so quick and witted, in the moment it always amazes you.

KS: How close does he stay to the page? I’ve always wondered. He sounds like he (makes it up?) dialogue. Am I wrong?

SS: He does and he doesn’t. He will do it a few times. That’s the thing, he says it so naturally, you go ‘was that even written?’ once he’s done it a few times, I feel he can’t help himself, he’s got to do something different each time. He keeps it new, that kind of thing.

(Sketch book fan!)

Fan 3: I was wondering if you wanted to look at my sketch book?

SS: I would gladly look at your sketch book. Come find me after? (looking at Kevin) Is that what you say?

KS: Can we pass it up here? While we answer the next question? We can use everybody just passing forward. If you don’t get it back, Sebastian stole it.

SS: Yeah, it would be me.

Fan 3: That’s fine as well.

KS: Send it up! We’ll get it into his hands. Meanwhile, we’ll jump over here and jump back to you for a review of your portfolio.

Fan 4: If Bucky got hold of the infinity gauntlet, what do you think he would do with it?

(Background fan: Deep important question!)

KS: It’s a great question.

SS: It is a great question. There’s only one place he would go and that’s back in time! (sebastian’s now received the book) Yeah, he’d probably go back in time. Try to fix all the things he’s done wrong, for starters. Maybe… Not get on that train? I don’t know.

SS: (towards sketch book fan) This is really great, by the way! (looking through) Oh my god, hello!

KS: Flip it this way.. This is legit, man! I know you didn’t ask me, but excellent job!

SS: A lot of complex things going on there. Oh my god, you’re very talented. Nice recurring theme.

(Kevin notices Loki as a snake)

SS: Each one of these pictures is like my worst nightmare. Pretty much.

KS: Want him to tag the book for you, while he’s got it?

Fan 3: Sure. Why not.

KS: (Sebastian signs the book) He wrote, ‘I drew this.’

SS: This is really great. Keep drawing! Don’t stop!

(Here’s one of my warnings! Slightly awkward)

Fan 5: Before I ask my question, my brother is a huge fan of the Captain America franchise. He has a group that he cosplays with, a group of friends. He plays Captain American and his friend, N, is Bucky, obviously. I was wondering if you could give a quick, hello to my brother and his friend?

SS: Hello-

Fan 5: Wait, not ready!

SS: This is amazing. Hello N, and the brother!

Fan 5: My question is: I fell in love with you first when I saw you as Jefferson at the time. By the way, I love you.

SS: I love you too.

Fan 5: You play a lot of characters that, deal with a lot of heavy-

SS: Issues?

Fan 5: No! They really deal with hard emotions. It’s sometimes difficult as an actor to reach that place and it’s hard to come back from that. So I’m wondering, actor to actor, how do you not let the negative emotions that you portray in characters affect you and how do you translate over to- you! How do you keep them separate? Cause you’re always this happy puppy.

SS: Wow, that’s…

KS: Well happy puppy, what do you say?

SS: Yeah, exactly. I don’t know if I’m a happy puppy all the time. No-one really is right? I think you have to try and not isolate yourself. It’s who you keep around in your life, that’s why it’s so important, your family and friends, who you trust. You can’t lose that sense of ground that is you, yourself. If I’m away somewhere on set, I try to check in with people and it’s ok to check in! I think people are so scared sometimes to admit that ‘I’m not having a great day!’ like, ‘what’s up, what’s going on?’ I think it’s okay to say that, and one of your friends is going to call you back.  Please tell people when you’re not having a good day! That’s what I do I guess.

KS: I’m going to ask you a quick question. When you play Bucky, you’re playing a character that carries expectation with him. People be like, ‘I’ve been reading this character in the books since I was a kid.’ So, there’s a certain amount of pressure there and there’s freedom because nobody knows what Bucky sounds like, until they put him on film for the first time and it’s you, so you get to set the tone. But recently, you were on I, Tonya, right?  And so, in that case you had to play a person the world knew, somebody who was well documented on film and stuff. What was the difficultly in that and the marvel stuff?

SS: That has its own weird expectations, in its own way. Expectations is the biggest enemy no matter how you cut it. I think you have no choice to- it’s more mechanical, I just watched what I could on the guy (Jeff), over and over, I just listened to any audio I had of him over and over again. Until I could feel like it was becoming me. It’s tough because you have to adjust to something that already exists. But sometimes that’s good too! You know where you’re going. Bucky had source and material. But in the movies, like you said at the beginning, in the comic books, he was a kid.

KS: Yeah, there was nothing you could go off of.

SS: They came in and we like, okay we’re going to have him more of a bigger brother and have this guy whether or not enlist. It’s sort of it’s own pros and cons.

(LGBT fan)

SS: Hi, what’s up?

Fan 6: Nothing much.

SS: How’s the German Shepard? (Dog the fan has.)

Fan 6: The German Shepard is great. His name is R. As a gay man, I really appreciate it when you play gay characters. Do you feel like you’ll ever go back into playing and LGBT character?

SS: Yeah, why not? I would in a second. It’s always about the script, the story telling, what kind of obstacles a character has in their life and what they’re trying to get through and that doesn’t matter. We’re all fighting against something and we’re all facing something. We all want to change and get better at, that’s universal. It’s just about having the right story. If it happens, why not?

 (End of part one. Part two with Sebastian and Anthony Mackie)

note: sorry for typos and grammar mistakes. I tried getting this out quickly!

#sebastian stan #kevin smith #ace comic con #anthony mackie #tom holland #long post