#they are NOT the same unless i missed that at some point in the six hour explanation livestream | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ofoceansandtombsanew · 5 months

Text

18:45 ー GOJOU SATORU. it's because you're the strongest that i have to stay with you; who's going to protect you otherwise?

"are you the strongest because you're gojou satoru?"

"or are you gojou satoru because you're the strongest?"

satoru never had the opportunity to answer suguru's question before he defected completely from their organization to pursue a pipe dream. but if gojou satoru had to answer the question, months later, he'd probably answer that it's the former.

he was born the strongest. his was a birth that shook the entire world all by virtue of his six eyes, the first user in centuries. there's no one else in the world like him.

he truly is the honored one. the one who is given the that are jobs too difficult for the weak and ordinary. the one many quietly scoff should handle everything at this point.

therefore, being strong is a given for him; limitless, the six eyes, all the bunk things he learned throughout his current three years at jujutsu tech. it's all pretty much been expected for him. there's nothing he can't do if he really put his mind to it. it's been that way since he was a kid.

nothing can touch him in senses literal and metaphorical. not unless he wants it to. he hasn't been touched by a foe since his run-in with the zenin reject.

that's why what he is experiencing presently is such an oddityー someone looking him over carefully for any signs of injury. "so you know this playing doctor thing is pretty pointless, right?"

"you're point?" you tell him as you continue to look over him carefully, gently moving his hands and arms before circling around him one last time. "and how are you feeling?"

"perfectly fine," he shrugs truthfully. the mission was light work, nothing special. special grade curses were standard for him by now.

you stand in front of him, finally nodding in approval, "alright, you can get the [first] stamp of approval then. you're all good."

"told ya."

"complain all you want," you place your hands on your hips, nose in the air with a petulant tone. "i'm always gonna check you over when you come back from assignments, mr. no one can touch me. and take these off," gently, you remove satoru's sunglasses from the bridge of his nose. delicately, you close them and rest them to hang on the collar of your shirt. "it's too dark to wear them. you'll trip."

you hold each other's glares for a brief moment before sporting a pair of matching grins. "welcome home," you tell satoru at last, not fighting it when he pulls you into a lazy hug.

it's nice being back. "glad to see someone missed me," maybe he might have missed you more though. you make a scoff of annoyance but you hug him back anyway. satoru's hold tightens. it crosses his mind for a moment the two of you should move in together after graduation. "it's too late to act like you didn't. i know, i know, my presence leaves a huge hole in your heart until i come back."

"says the one who calls me incessantly whenever i get assigned something," you cross your arms, grinning smugly.

"so you say," he shoos your words away. "but you're the one who was waiting for me to come back on the stairs. just accept the fact that you clearly missed me. extra arguments about any habits i might have are unnecessary," he holds his palm in front of your face just before you likely were about to remind him that he's the one who always waits for you to pop back up from missions on the school stairs like hachiko. "let's get back to the dorm, i'm starving."

you roll your eyes but you follow after him anyway while satoru slows his pace to match yours, hands swinging in the same orbit but separate.

"but seriously, you don't have to always check me over like that whenever i come back from a mission," satoru starts, holding back the urge to mess with the back of his head. maybe he should cut some of it off. "if anything, i should be the one checking you over." still, ever since august of second year, this has been your routine.

he comes back from a mission and you don't let him do anything fun unless you're 100% sure he's okay.

you reach over to hold his hand and give it a squeeze. satoru is the affectionate one between the two of you. even before you were friends and he merely enjoyed antagonizing you in his spare time in first year. he's never been hesitant to touch you.

first year it was poking your cheek or flicking your forehead.

second year he evolved to slinging his arm around your shoulders. august of second year was also when you shared a bed for the first time. the star plasma vessel went wrong in everyway possible and amanai and kuroi's bodies were stuffed in the jujutsu tech morgue. ascended, lost and empty, satoru found himself waiting in your bed until you got back to the dormitories.

when did he start associating you with safety? satoru isn't sure when that line began to blur, all he remembers is that your room is instinctively where his feet led him. in your room he stayed until you showed up again and in your room you let him be until the sun came up.

now in third year, affection was swapped between you both as easily as breathing. still, normally he was the one initiating it. it's nice when it's the other way around though.

"don't you remember what i told you last month?" you smile in the moonlight, swinging your hands between you both. "i'm gonna protect you, whatever way i can. that includes dealing with me looking you over for injuries even if it's very unlikely you're actually hurt. and i know the chance of us being paired up for missions is slim to none, but just know i don't care if you have your infinity. i'm your shield."

gojou satoru has never been told "i'll protect you" before.

but a week after you both turned 17, not only did you promise you'd never leave him, you told him that you'd protect him too.

your cursed technique has never been anything to brag about.

at least, maybe not until recent years. you called it 'rejection' but it ultimately just came down to your cursed energy solidifying into a shield. nothing satoru could really respect back when you were first years. saying he respected your technique the bulk of second year was a bit of a stretch too; second year was when he was toeing the line.

until recently, solo missions were never things you were sent on. you were back up meant to protect whatever combatant you were paired up with. satoru's never been one of them. why would he be when he's got his own shield?

how does one protect the strongest?

satoru doesn't need a knight. it's a fact everyone knows, hence why his assignments have been solo since third year. hence why even in second year he was never paired up with anyone whose abilities were defensive in nature.

yet despite that fact, it's been you and you alone who has ever told him ー gojou satoru ー "i'll protect you."

and you meant it.

"i meant what i said," satoru feels your thumb brush against the side of his hand. "you're stuck with me for the end of time. because if no one else is gonna look after you, i will."

"why?"

"because i want to."

"why do you want to?"

you both stop walking and your answer doesn't come as quickly as the rest. your eyes are a million miles away from where you're both standing in the middle of your too-large campus. it's not for the first time that satoru wishes he could read your mind. "you're someone very precious to me," you say at last with soft conviction. you're strong. first year satoru was dumb to think otherwise. yours is a quiet strength satoru still doesn't quite understand but he's happy to receive. "you already know that though."

"i didn't realize you liked me so much," satoru laughs dryly but his grip around your hand tightens. "better be careful, [first]. the people will start to talk. imagine what utahime will say."

"satoru," he looks at you again, really looks at you. your smile is expectant and comfortable as you look back. like what you're going to tell him is next is something he should be expecting and yet still you're so patient with him. "you know i'm in love with you, right?"

yeah.

first year you weren't much of anything besides classmates.

second year you were friends.

third year you're an unlabeled strangeness. you aren't lovers but you definitely aren't just friends, existing in a weird space between where neither of you say anything but it's obvious. it isn't like he's sharing a bed with shoko or nanami most of the week or holding their hands when he comes back to campus. he knows you're not caressing their heads every morning after you wake up, waiting until their fully cognizant before starting your day.

you love your friends. but satoru knows there's a tenderness reserved just for him the way his affection that lingers is reserved solely for you.

"'course i do," satoru finds himself chuckling humorlessly again. "about time you said it, though. no one wants to be rejected by the person they're in love with. what if i was misinterpreting all the signs?" there's no way he could have. still it was scary not knowing for sure. that if he did anything wrong you'd have backed away.

"you won't leave too, right?"

"it’s unfortunate to tell you but you’re pretty much stuck with me, satoru."

it's the promise he's most scared of you breaking and he never wants to be the cause of it.

"there's nothing to misinterpret," you playfully tug his hand to pull him closer to your side before leaning onto him. "i want to protect the one i'm in love with, that's all there is too it. you're worth protecting even if logic argues there's no point in me trying. i'm going to protect you and that's that."

"you're gonna protect me?" satoru whispers as dreamily as the first time he asked.

"yeah," you vow once again. "with all i've got; even if it's not enough."

it's enough. you're more than enough.

the winter winds brushing against the two of you warns that you should be heading inside.

satoru feels more than warm kissing you.

while this is technically part of the same universe as my last gojou fic 「i cherish you, halcyon days」 this can be read as a standalone as well. this takes place during the end of third year but before the start of the 4th year (jujutsu schooling lasts 4 years in canon)

but this how i always imagined the love confession would have gone

#look she's writing #timestamp #gojo x reader #gojou x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #when will the brainrot end???#caved and made fluff because i felt bad about the angst. ish

237 notes · View notes

fantastic-nonsense · 5 months

Text

honestly I think if you complain about Star Wars focusing too much on the Skywalkers because "the galaxy is bigger than one family" and "not everything has to be connected" you have fundamentally missed the point George Lucas was trying to make with the original movies.

Star Wars is VERY deliberately an optimistic, cyclical, and myth-based family drama structured around a single family's story, and that purposefully generational story is the story George Lucas saw as the core point and purpose of Star Wars:

“It’s the missing link,” Lucas says. “Once it’s there, it’s a complete work, and I’m proud of that. I do see it, tonality-wise, as two trilogies. But they do, together, form one epic of fathers and sons.” [x] The first three movies had all kinds of issues. [Disney] looked at the stories and they said we want to make something for the fans. So I said all I want to do is tell the story of what happened. You know, it started here and it went there. It's all about generations and it's about, you know, the issues of fathers and sons and grandfathers; it's a family soap opera. I mean, ultimately. We call it a space opera, but people don't realize it's actually a soap opera. And it's all about family problems — it's not about spaceships. [x]

He also wrote Star Wars for the express purpose of attempting to teach people that everything is interconnected and everything we do has an impact that resonates beyond our own lives:

Paul Duncan: "It takes a lot of people to build the ark." George Lucas: "Yeah. And it needs to be done through reason, love, and compassion, not through force. The films are trying to stress the idea that everything is interconnected. I like to make movies that are complex, but it's not obvious to people unless they start digging into it. Most people don't realize it and can't grasp the whole entity because they're focusing on four or five pieces out of 200, and often they don't want to hear about the other pieces because it requires additional thought and ideas outsides of the films. There are cycles and cycles in the story and the characters throughout all six episodes. There are cycles of the same thing being repeated over and over with different groups of people, and the outcomes change because the characters have grown or changed over the story. The repitition shows the characters' development. [x]

GEORGE LUCAS: At some point you do have to become an independent person. And it’s about learning to let go of your — your needs, so to speak, and — and think of the needs of others. BILL MOYERS: So “Star Wars” is — yes, it’s about cosmic, galactic, epic struggles, but it’s at heart about a family. The large myth set in a local family. GEORGE LUCAS: Well, in most — most myths center around characters and — and a hero, and it’s — it’s about how you — how you conduct yourself as you go through the hero’s journey, which everyone goes through. It’s especially relevant when you go through this transition phase. Most societies it’s when you’re 13 or 14. In our society it’s sort of 18 to 22, somewhere in there, that you must let go of your past and must, you know, embrace your future and — and in your own self, by yourself, figure out what it is — what — what path you’re going to go down........... .......BILL MOYERS: And what do stories do for us in that sense? What do myths... GEORGE LUCAS: They try to show us our place. Myths help you to have your own hero’s journey, find your individuality, find your place in the world, but hopefully remind you that you’re part of a whole, and that you must also be part of the community, and — and think of the welfare of the community above the welfare of yourself. [x]

Lucas structured this tale in two ways: through Anakin's deconstructed hero's journey (in the form of a Greek tragedy) and Luke's straightforward hero's journey (culminating with Anakin's redemption) and showing us how this one family's multi-generational story had a huge impact that went beyond their own lives and echoed throughout the galaxy. That was the point!

While there are plenty of other stories not centered on the Skywalkers that can and should be told within the universe, ultimately people need to keep in mind that Lucas was not shy about his intentions in making the movies: he WANTED to write a straightforward retelling of "old stories," and he wanted to do it through the lens of a personal family narrative.

All of the Star Wars material that focuses on non-Skywalkers (which has ALWAYS been around, Rogue One and TLJ and The Mandalorian and Andor and etc etc etc were NOT the first ones to do that) is great, but it's a bonus! An add-on to the core story and point of the franchise! It's not that they're unimportant, because they're not, but at some point it should stop surprising people when the Skywalkers and/or the events of the original six movies get referenced or utilized.

It just bothers me when I hear these complaints because like...if you don't like the Skywalkers, why do you even watch Star Wars? None of those other stories would exist without them! Please just go enjoy another sci-fi franchise and stop complaining that the main characters of Star Wars are being focused on or are popping up in places it makes total sense for them to be!

#me beating people over the head with a stick: 'IT'S A CYCLICAL FAMILY DRAMA LEAVE THEM ALONE!'#star wars #sw fanwank #anakin skywalker #luke skywalker #leia organa #padme amidala #sw meta

128 notes · View notes

aquelondungeonmaster · 1 year

Text

WAIT a second, folks, I found a new layer to another bit of Skizz-related iconography that I am, of course, very very normal about.

Let’s talk about golden apples.

In Skizz’s Third Life episode 1, Ren gave him a golden apple in return for Skizz giving him some leather. This was their first interaction!

I would need to track things more closely to see if it was the same gapple or a different one, but when the desert explosion happened six episodes later, Skizz ate a golden apple while regrouping. A few moments later, his arrows found their mark and Jimmy became the first permadeath of the series at his hand.

Later that same episode, Skizz set out on his own to try to get some gunpowder from the desert, but realizes they’ve probably used it up and heads back. Along the way, though, he stops by Skizz Point and makes five golden apples, and reflects a bit on his bloodlust. Then he distributes those gapples among the rest of the Red Army (one each for Martyn and Etho, two for Ren, one for himself), and almost immediately charges the Crastle. He forgets entirely about the one golden apple he has, and permadies with it in his hotbar.

There are fewer golden apples of note in Last Life, unless I missed any. However, Skizz’s permadeath in that season is while he is midway through trying to eat a golden apple. He does not get to finish it, and so once again permadies with a golden apple in his hotbar.

Skizz is not in Double Life. Coincidentally, no golden apples are eaten in Double Life either, since they would break things. They are uncraftable, but there are numerous found in various dungeon chests anyway-- I know that season winner Pearl found at least two.

We are currently two episodes into Limited Life, and Skizz has just resolved his qualms with Bdubs via good old-fashioned arena fight. And there were golden apples involved in the arena fight, because of course there were! Of course there were!!! Skizz eats one before the fight, and gifts one to Bdubs when they reconcile (compliments and all) afterwards. This means that Skizz has also eaten a gapple before the first non-permanent kill he has made in this series. It also makes this a very powerful symbol of an alliance.

In conclusion, Skizz has always been associated with golden apples, and that trend has continued!

#skizzleman #limited life #limited life smp #really hoping that skizz continues to do Cool Things next episode that make him Unequivocally Protagonisty #i am excited but also nervous #anyway. golden apples dude. they're everywhere #i hope the italics make this post more readable #analysises #mcyt #a-post-lon

450 notes · View notes

mixelation · 7 months

Text

have some reborn au i wrote last night. itachi pov, both double times as the start to tori's book club adventures and itachi's fake dates

there's a joke about not microwaving styrofoam.... i just wanted to note before someone "corrects" me that i know there are some supposedly microwave safe styrofoams (like, for example, some types of cup noodles) but in general i would avoid microwaving styrofoam because they can leech toxins into your food and like. melt.

Itachi was relieved when Tori pitched an idea for their first date herself.

“Hey,” she said, snagging his arm in the ANBU breakroom. ANBU Rat looked up from intently watching her lunch in the microwave. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Itachi told her, although part of him was pleased. Gossip in ANBU ran fast. Rat would surely be telling everyone about Tori spontaneously appearing to talk to him.

He didn’t ask about how she’d gotten into ANBU. If Tori decided she was going somewhere, she went there. She had her lab coat on, which meant she’d probably just wandered over there from R&D. Tori loved talking about how people just listened to people in lab coats, and no warning signs or fancy fuinjutsu was going to stop her.

“And you make yourself hard to find,” Tori countered.

This comment was undoubtedly bad for their budding relationship’s PR. Itachi quickly course-corrected.

“Why don’t we talk over dinner?” he suggested. “I get off at six.”

Tori’s eyes narrowed, suspicious. The microwave dinged and ANBU Rat removed a take-away box.

“My treat,” Itachi offered. “We haven’t caught up in a while.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tori agreed. She’d always been easy to bribe with a free meal. She turned on her heel and pointed accusingly at ANBU Rat. With evident disgust in her voice, she asked, “Did you just microwave styrofoam?”

Itachi decided Rat would be a valuable witness, as she’d be able to report Itachi neither chastised Tori for sneaking in nor did he do anything to prevent her from telling Rat off over her microwaving etiquette. This was clear favoritism.

Itachi’s shift ended late, which wasn’t unusual, and he found Tori in one of the chunin breakrooms flipping through a book catalog. She filled him in on her conundrum on their walk over the restaurant: she’d enjoyed her trip to the fan convention, and wanted to start her own fan club in Konoha to recapitulate the sort of mindless fun only a group of people united in love for bad genre fiction could share.

“Kakashi said he’d join whatever club, but he refuses to talk Icha Icha with me and the Konoha chapter won’t let me in anyway,” she complained. She flapped the catalog at him. “So I have to find a different series.”

Itachi chose a restaurant with outdoor seating along a busy street. Through some minor genjutsu, he convinced a couple to leave early and then a waiter to clear their table immediately so they could be in full view of the passing crowds. If Tori noticed, she was too busy gesticulating with the catalog and reciting prices to say anything.

It was true that Itachi was a connoisseur of bad ninja fiction, a hobby cultured over long days of uninterrupted travel with Akatsuki. He hadn’t allowed himself much time in this lifetime to read, but he still remembered his favorite inane plots and ridiculous depictions of ninja. It would be interesting to see if his old favorites had stayed the same or not in this timeline, and he found himself missing his old hobby.

“I’d be happy to join,” he said, perfectly sincere, when the waiter left them with their menus.

“Oh, good,” Tori replied, eyes brightening. “Okay, so we have three people. Do you think we could convince Deidara?”

Deidara had… mixed opinions on consuming bad art intentionally. As far as Itachi could tell, Deidara was in a constant tug-of-war between his artistic principles and his own personality, and the appeal of bad media seemed to go completely over his head unless he were in the mood to be mean about something. This was fine for a bad movie night, but maybe not the mood Tori was looking for with her little book club. Then again, Itachi was fairly confident he could simply tell Deidara a single opinion on art, and this would incite a lively debate lasting hours.

“I figured if we host it at our place, he’ll be forced to join,” Tori said, drumming her fingers on the table in thought.

“That could backfire,” Itachi pointed out. Deidara was so dedicated to his art that he often didn’t care if he lost his own possessions to it. “You can’t expect Deidara to let a quiet evening continue to be quiet if he even suspects he’s been manipulated into it.”

“Well, maybe we should pick a series first,” Tori backtracked.

They ordered, and Itachi leafed through the catalog while they waited for food. Tori told some story he could barely follow about how when she was growing up, some books would come with cheap costume jewelry attached to them, and she always begged for those books even though she knew she wouldn’t like the story.

“They were always about unicorns, and unicorns are just fantasy horses. And I am not a horse girl, Itachi,” she said very seriously.

Itachi assumed she was talking about her previous life. When Tori shared details of her childhood in this timeline, they were usually more disturbing, but at least they made sense.

“Although it was a great marketing tactic,” Tori continued, picking up her chopsticks and clicking them together thoughtfully. “Imagine if Icha Icha did that. ‘Free anal beads included with every purchase’--”

The waiter chose this moment to arrive with their food, and Tori’s cheeks went pink. Itachi had to duck his head to hide a smile.

“I thought you said Jiraiya was afraid of anything anal,” Itachi said when the waiter left. That had been one of her favorite rants. Apparently Jiraiya’s homoerotic obsession with Orochimaru manifested as internalized homophobia or something, according to Tori.

“Ugh,” Tori replied, performatively holding a hand over her eyes. “Listen, just tell me what PG-13 series we could read so I don’t embarrass myself in public again.”

“So do you want me to exclude the ones with horses…?”

Itachi eventually suggested a series which was one of his personal favorites. The first installment lent its name to the whole of the series, and was called Kitty Girl Stabby Ninja. The plot followed a kunoichi sent to assassinate a male missing-nin from her village, but a jutsu gone wrong turned the kunoichi into a cat instead. She was then adopted by the missing-nin, and shenanigans ensued. It was, as far as Itachi had gathered from interviews with the author, written as an inside joke among friends, and she’d simply kept going when the book had received unexpected popularity, writing about increasingly absurd scenarios about people (and once, the concept of a ninjutsu itself) being turned into cats. In Itachi’s opinion, what made the ridiculous shinobi-themed adventures fun rather than puzzlingly inaccurate, was that the narrative never once took itself seriously, except in a handful of a character interactions and emotional beats. The overall result was that the series was a light, charming read.

“There’s four books out now,” Itachi said, watching Tori’s face as he talked, “and I believe a fifth one should be out soon. I haven’t been following it recently.”

By “recently” he meant “in this timeline.”

Tori had been listening to him with the sort of intense concentration she used when listening to mission briefings, her brows furrowed and her gaze focused on the food in front of her. It was one of her funnier quirks, how seriously she could take relatively unimportant things like a book club. Itachi had thought it made her seem flighty and bad at prioritizing when he first met her, but given it seemed to incur no cost to her ability to concentrate on her actual job, he’d decided it was more endearing, the way Kakashi’s perpetual lateness could seem almost charming after you’d just accepted it as part of personality.

“No, you’re right,” she told him. “The catalog had a full-page advertisement for the new one. I guess it is pretty popular.”

“I believe it spurred several sister series,” Itachi said. “And the author started hiring ghost writers at some point, so there will always be a new book a few months away.”

Tori hummed, pleased.

“That means the lore must be intricate,” she said. “That always makes for good fannish activity. Bonus points if it’s also slightly incohesive– that’s what really gets people fixated.”

Itachi didn’t know how to comment on that. But Tori seemed happy about the idea, so he held back a comment about the drop in quality that also happened with the introduction of ghost writers.

“Alright, I’m convinced,” Tori declared. “We’ll start a Kitty Girl Stabby Ninja book club. I wonder if there are official clubs? I know Ebisu somehow got their Icha Icha club to be officially sanctioned despite the whole secretive ninja village thing, but that one seems a little different because… well, you know…”

When the waiter cleared their plates, Itachi asked for a dessert menu.

“I think we should share this,” he said, pointing at an item at the bottom of the menu. It was their special house sundae, which he had been coveting for months now. It had three types of ice cream, every in-season fruit you could think of, and both white and dark chocolate shavings. The only thing that had prevented him from ordering it sooner was that it was too much for one person, even him.

“Ah, I see your game,” Tori said, eyeing him knowingly. “Sure, I’ll help you eat your weight in dessert.”

Itachi could feel the tips of his ears going pink, but it wasn’t like he’d invited her out just to have an excuse to order a sundae. No, he’d just concluded that sharing an ice cream in public would be an undeniably romantic thing to do and also sufficiently in-character for him for his parents to believe it. The fact that he’d also once had a dream about the sundae was simply an added perk.

“How many people do you want to recruit?” Itachi asked while they waited for their dessert monstrosity.

“Ten people or fewer, I think,” Toro replied. “Too many and then the discussion can’t be as good. But I figure the first few meetings will have more, and people will drop out because they don’t like the book or they don’t have time or, like, Deidara will scream at someone. And then eventually we’ll get it down to a few dedicated people.”

Itachi thought it would be equally likely that Tori herself would assert something like Only a moron would microwave styrofoam and rub someone the wrong way, or Kakashi would be so intentionally annoying at someone that they’d hide from public for the rest of the week. He held himself back from saying anything, though, even though he’d be entirely correct, because their dessert arrived.

The ice cream’s size was so great that the waiter needed both hands and they had to clear a space on the table themselves. Tori’s eyebrows rose only slightly as she took it in. A woman at the table next to them grinned knowingly at them. Good, good.

“Your place is too small for ten people,” Itachi observed, grabbing his spoon.

Tori seemed to think this over for a few moments. Then she said, “But there’s nowhere else, unless you want to volunteer your place.”

Itachi held back a wince. His parents would probably agree, but then he’d have to go through the awful process of navigating his parents’ attempts to monitor his personal life, and then also dodging the inevitably of Sasuke wanting to join and him having to say no. No, this would suck any ounce of joy he might find in a silly activity like a book club.

“I thought so,” Tori said, without him having to verbalize any of this. “Maybe we could pressure Kakashi into it, but I don’t think he has much space either. Plus he’d be tempted to like… lock us out on purpose or something and pretend he forgot.”

This seemed plausible.

“Kushina-sensei would let us,” Itachi offered. Tori immediately made a face.

“No one’s going to want to meet at the Hokage’s residence,” she protested.

“Why not?” Itachi asked.

“Because the Hokage could be there,” she said, and Itachi noted she’d only eaten a single strawberry off the sundae. “No one’s going to want to talk about their dumb headcanons under threat of the Hokage overhearing.”

“None of the potential members you listed will care,” Itachi pointed out.

Tori frowned, very carefully shaving off ice cream with her spoon in some sort of exact ratio with chocolate. Itachi was right, of course. If anything, Kakashi would be more open at Kushina-sensei’s house, and no one from Team 4 would care. Hokage-sama was a less intimidating host than Itachi’s parents, anyway.

“But I want to recruit normal people,” Tori said eventually. “Random career chunin. Civilians. You know, new people.”

“Alright,” Itachi said. “Like who?”

Tori stared back at him. She held her gaze while he had several bites of ice cream, her face slowly screwing up as she wracked her brain for “normal” people she thought she could conceivably approach about a book club. Itachi was fairly certain she wasn’t going to think of anyone.

“Perhaps one of your labmates?” he suggested.

Tori averted her gaze, looking mildly peeved. So she was still failing to make friends with anyone in lab.

“I don’t think it being at the Hokage’s residence will be more of a deterrent than the presence of any of your other members,” Itachi said slowly. “You picked… an intimidating group.”

Tori actually rolled her eyes. “Like you’re all that intimidating,” she said.

“My performance review says I’m unapproachable and mean and my reputation prevents people from commenting on it in pursuit of a solution,” Itachi countered, which actually provoked a laugh from Tori. He didn’t think this review was very fair, because he was almost always correct so why would anyone need to argue with him, but he acknowledged Hokage-sama kept having increasingly stressed talks with him about it.

“Okay, so you’re awful,” she allowed, “but Kakashi? Please. Anyone who’s met him knows he’s just a weird dog man.”

“I think your perspective might be skewed,” Itachi told her.

He did not point out that Tori herself had an extremely strong personality, and that the only reason she didn’t already have her own reputation was that forbidden jutsu were by necessity kept secret, so very few people knew how routinely she churned them out. It wasn’t as obvious as his or Kakashi’s or Deidara’s because she was a smiley fifteen year old girl who intentionally carried herself like a civilian, but once you peeled back the several layers of facade, Tori was someone who’d crafted her personality under Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. It was probably why she wasn’t good at making friends– the other shinobi in R&D could undoubtedly sense there was something deeply wrong with what was going on with Tori under the surface.

Part of what was deeply wrong with her was that she wanted to rope a bunch of normal, unsuspecting people into a book club where she’d probably start spouting conspiracy theories, but that wasn’t the point.

“Are you trying to use this club to pretend you’re still clinging to your civilian life, because you feel that’s what your normal should be?” Itachi asked.

Tori’s lips thinned. In a perfect deadpan, she said, “What the fuck, Itachi.”

Too far then, okay. Probably something he shouldn’t push in public, especially when he was pretending to be on an extremely romantic date.

(This meant he was right, though.)

He deflected by saying, “Have you considered Kushina-sensei and Hokage-sama might want to join?”

Tori groaned loudly. “I just said–” she started.

She didn’t want any commanding officers at the club. Itachi pointed out her only guaranteed members right now were himself and Kakashi, who were both celebrated Jounin and ANBU captains. Deidara was also a rather infamous Jounin. Tori seemed to get frustrated with his completely sound logic, and switched to asking him what snacks he thought they should have.

“I think I’ll have to come up with discussion questions too,” she said. “Do you want to help with that?”

“Discussion questions? Why?” Itachi asked.

Tori’s lips quirked up. “I forgot,” she teased. “You’re uneducated.”

Itachi didn’t think this was fair. The Tori of this timeline had never had any sort of formal schooling.

“Don’t pout,” Tori told him, performatively sticking her nose up. “You know it’s true. Anyway, the point of discussion questions would be to provoke conversation and keep people from going off topic. We wouldn’t necessarily use them all, but they’d be there for structural purposes.”

Itachi ended up eating most of the ice cream himself, and he felt uncomfortably full as he offered to walk Tori home. She shot him a confused look.

“Why?” she asked. “I’m out of your way.”

“I want to…” Itachi started. Mostly he wanted to be seen with her, doing boyfriend-like things. “I want to walk off…”

She laughed at him again, needing no further context to understand what he meant. It wasn’t mocking, but rather that she found his predicament genuinely funny.

“Fine, let’s go along the river, then,” she decided.

It was a slightly longer walk, but it was undeniably prettier, with the promenade lined by trees. The sun was setting, and the orange glow reflected back at them from the water. It was much more romantic too, he decided. Couples in romance novels were always walking along bodies of water.

That wasn’t bad at all, Itachi decided when he left Tori at the corner of her street. It had been fun, even. That had really been no different from spending time with her as a friend, although perhaps next time he should come up with an excuse to hold her hand. Itachi very rarely had time to spend casually with friends, but he always enjoyed quiet time spent with Shisui, and, he supposed when he thought about it, he did largely enjoy time with Team 4.

Why didn’t everyone just date their friends? This was the best idea he’d had in a while.

#reborn au #my writing

119 notes · View notes

radiostaticsmile · 2 months

Text

On Alters and Personality Disorders

Disclaimer that I am not a researcher and this is based on my understanding of different studies and of my own personal experience being a system with personality disorders and knowing systems with personality disorders

Often I see the question can on alter have a personality disorder that other alters do not. It seems to be hotly debated without a real answer, most people just extrapolate because studies on that specifically are hard to find and combine knowledge of systems and personality disorders but be used to make an inference. I am going to be doing the same thing here,

However one thing that I have not seen anyone mention that has greatly helped my understanding of this topic is the idea which has begun to exist relatively recently within psychology that personality disorders are really all the same thing at its core, a disorder which occurs in response to trauma, and the specific symptoms and disorder you will be diagnosed with is dependant on which survival methods worked best for the traumatizing situation that the person was in.

For example in situations where it was dangerous and likely to get the victim hurt by their abuser to care about the abusers feelings they will likely develop a PD with low empathy like NPD or ASPD. For situations where avoiding the abuser was possible and the best method something like AVPD may occur. And those who need to be highly attuned to their abusers emotional state and weather they get hurt or not depends on how the abuser is feeling may develop BPD. This is an over simplification but you get the picture.

Dissociative disorders are also caused by trauma. And abuse is complicated, so different survival strategies may work at different times, and using a method that works sometimes will actively get you abused more at other times. For singlets this can cause more than one personality disorder with symptoms that mix and overlap. For dissociative systems, this can mean different alters present different symptoms. Alters will often form because the system needs different survival strategies in different situations, and different alters will fill those roles. So it makes sense some alters will have symptoms of a personality disorder that another alter does not have. One alter may fit enough criteria for a diagnoses of a specific personality disorder while others may be missing key aspects of the disorder, so in tis way I do think it is possible. You can say they are just symptom holders and the whole system has it, or you can say just they have it, its really just arguing semantics at that point, since it is fairly clear within the community that many systems have alters who meet diagnostic criteria while other alters in the same system do not.

I do think it is possible for an alter to have a specific personality disorder that is not system wide, because specific personality disorders are not really separate from each other, but rather which symptoms do you present, and different alters present different symptoms. However, I also think that if any alter has a personality disorder, everyone in the system would most likely have a personality disorder of some kind (unless they have a highly specialized role or are a fragment that would prevent this, but the system as a whole would still be personality disordered). This is because the trauma changing the brain that created the personality disorders affects the whole system. It can affect different alters differently, and some specific symptom sets may be contained to only a few alters, but being personality disordered in general would affect everyone, or at least that is what I have come to believe based on my experience and research.

It also seems like just based on what I have seen that alters will frequently gravitate around a few presentations/specific disorders that show up in several alters, like a system of six may have 5 with BPD, and 3 of those also have NPD (meaning 2 with both), more likely than every alter having an extremely different disorder presentation from each other, and then varying symptoms between alters within those subsets of symptoms. This however is not based on any research and is just personal experience since this topic really hasn't been studied enough.

This is not meant to invalidate or dictact any one else's experience or beliefs around the topic but I haven't seen anyone discuss the theory that personality disorders are a single disorder with highly varied presentation and I wanted to add that idea to the conversation.

#npd symptom holder #system #did #plural system #osdd #personality disorder #symptom holder #symptom holders #essay #now broadcasting #personality disorders

44 notes · View notes

definesanity · 11 months

Text

SAGAU, wherein you teach UNO to Hu Tao, Kuki Shinobu and Collei:

There you were, thonking. Or, thinking, maybe. Point being, you were pondering, when you had an epiphany; Teyvat has card games (or, well, a Trading Card Game; yeah did you know that TCG stood for that? I didn't for a long while), so why not introduce one from your world?

It was simple; invite some calm individuals to play a round of Uno. Naturally, it came quickly, and so you say at the table, cards already out, as three stepped on through.

From Sumeru, Collei; albeit nervous, she nevertheless sat down, smiling and waving shortly.

From Inazuma, Kuki Shinobu; level-headed and calm, she was the ideal player for any card game, and seemed intrigued as well, if her eyebrows raised indict anything.

And, finally, from Liyue, Hu Tao; a given, really, for as soon as you said you could trick others, she basically jumped at the opportunity.

"Thanks for joining me," you started, smiling. "I'd hate to take away your time, but I thought that, maybe, this could be a learning experience."

The three nodded; Collei seemed less tense now, but still kept glancing around the table.

"Ah, but, I suppose introductions are in order? You don't need to say much; just your name will do."

Shinobu nodded back. "I'll start, then: I'm Kuki Shinobu, Deputy Head of the Arataki Gang. Pleasure to meet you both."

"Pleasures all mine, Miss Shinobu~" came the voice of Hu Tao. "Me? I'm Hu Tao, the Seventy-Seventh Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! Also nice to meet you~"

"...Ahem," Collei cleared her throat, not for attention, but to prevent the nerves in her. "I'm, ah, Collei. T-Trainee Forest Ranger. Nicetomeetyouboth." she finished in a hurry, causing you to raise your eyebrow.

"Are you completely fine, Collei? I'm not forcing you to play," your voice was gentle, and you knew not to make her uncomfortable.

Collei shook her head, however. "A-Ah, no, I'm good. Just a little nervous, is all."

Hu Tao smiled back. "Aw~ Don't worry, Collei! We're all friends here; don't worry, I don't bite~"

Shinobu nodded. "The same with me; we're all here to have fun, right?"

Collei returned the gesture, and then looked at the cards in front of her.

"Right, the game; this is called UNO. The goal is simple; the player with no cards left wins. As for the rules..." you cleared your throat. "In front of you is seven cards; to not show them to anyone unless you play the card. The cards go up from one to nine, and are in four colours, as you can see; red, blue, yellow and green. You can only play a card that is the same colour or the same number. With me so far?"

The three nodded, though Collei's was a bit late, and so you continued, "When you reach one card, you must declare it and say, 'Uno'; if you don't, you'll be called out and be forced to draw two cards; should you not have any cards matching the colour or number, you must draw until you get the colour, number, or a Wildcard. I'll get to that in a moment.

"Next, Special Cards; the Plus-Two you may have, if placed down, makes it that the next player must pick up two cards; however, if they play a Plus-Two, it will stack, and will become the next player's problem."

"So, say if I placed a Plus-Two, followed by Hu Tao, you, and then Collei..."

"...Then, you will be made to pick up six cards, yes, heh."

Shinobu shook her head. "I guess we must be careful with that..."

"Next, the Uno Reverse, or the No U card; it reverses the order of player rotation; say, Collei used it, instead of it going to Kuki next, it would go to me, and then follow reversed order until another Reverse card is played."

"Uu..." Collei groaned, rubbing her temple. "Who designed this?! Why does it have so many rules?!"

"If it helps, you won't struggle for long; you'll pick up on it soon enough, Col." smiling, the green-haired girl shakily gave one back, with a thumbs up to follow, of which you also mirrored.

"Now, the Wildcards; the one with a circle, if played, allows the one to change the colour of the card to anything they want, regardless of previous colours."

"So if I played it after Hu Tao placed down a red..."

"...You could very well make it another colour yes, Collei~" a giggle then followed. "Or, ya know, keep it the same for me to win, hm~?"

"...And the four allows you first change the colour of the rotation, and make the next person draw four cards."

"...What if I placed a Plus Four on top?"

"Then you unleash hell, Shinobu."

"...Hmm..."

"Well, if that's everything?" three nods followed. "Then, let's begin!"

This is going to be something, alright, heh.

#ryuusei's works #genshin impact #sagau #genshin sagau #kuki shinobu #Collei #hu tao

195 notes · View notes

idollandhero · 26 days

Text

I think in a year we'll look back at our time with Idol Land and think of it like a weird dream. A time when there wasn't a Pretty Series show announced and everything was in limbo. A time where King of Prism was a dead franchise. A time when songs were performed at Pretty Series live shows that wouldn't premier in the anime for years. The game teaser in every single Pretty Series announcement only for it to be delayed again. The YEARS long gap between episodes 2 and 3. The DISASTROUS launch. When we realized it was just a reskinned version of the switch game. Or when we discovered that it was mostly made by some unrelated dev who had only made one failed mobile otome game before Idol Land.

The Pretty Series' pivot to focusing on AiPri & KinPri instead of Idol Land & DanPri makes the past few years of Idol Land content, and the past less than a year of Idol Land actually being out, feel like an illusion.

It's frustrating because the concept of a PriPara mobile game sounds fantastic! When I play games like SIF2 or Idolish7 or whatever I think about what could have been. Was it money problems? or time problems? Or some combination of both. Regardless I can't help but yearn for a game with a budget that this franchise deserves.

And the web anime was great! But only 12 episodes, and its own budget problems, plus the games delay keeping it finished and in limbo for 2 years! (+ the lack of any western fansubs picking it up, seriously how is do we still only have subs for up to episode 6) meant that it never got the place in the spotlight it deserved. Some people speculated that it was meant to air on TV because the episodes are formatted as such, but with AiPri starting in that slot the same month the show is ending that doesn't seem to be true.

It's hard to say where PriPara is going from here. It's the series 10th anniversary and the arcade game is being shuttered to push players towards AiPri Verse instead. Idol Land's anime finale is going to air to little applause because it's stuck on an app with less than 20,000 active users, and in the same month as the launch of the new series that's slated to be a real PreCure competitor.

Idol Land's EOS hasn't been announced yet, but the missing Nino birthday coord, the April monthly update with entirely rerun coords, and the fact that Idol Land is getting very VERY close to running out of content from the switch game. Well, if not EOS I expect this game to go into maintenance mode pretty soon.

Yeah idk what my point here was exactly, but man Idol Land really was a blur. Sometimes I think we understate exactly how inexperienced the devs really were. The game doesn't have any type of Google Play integration, and when the game launched the account recovery only lasted 15 minutes. I have a newer phone and the game isn't compatible with my hole punch front camera. There's just a black bar there. I only have this problem with older games, anything made in the last 4 years doesn't have this problem except for Idol Land. I honestly think the lack of region locking is because the dev doesn't know how to turn it on. Someone on discord reported that they've been buying gold, and then contacting Google and asking for a Play Store refund. It's worked multiple times and they are not banned. How is a ban for chargebacks not something they implemented day one. Also this game doesn't have any deals or discounts, ever. It's hard to believe that, like every game I've ever played has a buy two and get 50% off the second one bundle. But it's like the devs don't know how to implement anything past basic gacha mechanics. I could also ramble about how expensive the prices are, but I've done it before I won't do it again. Also the photo room, it's implemented pretty badly. You upload a photo for the background and it crops it weird and squishes it and makes it blurry. I didn't know this at launch because it was a paid feature for like six months. The pass itself was a horrible value unless you were buying it specifically to get the episodes early, you got exactly how the amount of gold you paid for. Why not just buy the gold then. But they either realized that, or were preparing for end of service; because they took it down. I'm rambling about things the devs messed up but I haven't even mentioned the first three months of the game. There's been so many points in this game's history where playing a promise was borderline impossible for one reason or another. This game didn't feel finished until that November update that included immediate promises. God there's so much more. The photo competitions just being about editing for some reason. Also they went away, so clearly those didn't work. The amount of coords they've implemented that were broken in some way. Sometimes it was the wrong coord entirely, sometimes the cylume didn't work. It's like the dev team is so small that there's no QA people. Also on that note, Open Dream Land was just fixed in the mid March update. The game went more than 6 months where one of its two unique charts was off sync. Also remember the voice bug, that lasted forever.

I'm sorry I just started rambling lmao. This is the problem when I write posts with speech to text, I say way too much. Ultimately I enjoyed my time with Idol Land, but it's existence feels surreal. Especially because 80% of the features from this game I can turn on my switch after end of service and play, and it's free because I already paid once and never have to pay again. I even have Waku Waku O'Clock on Switch. One day, probably soon from the way things are going, I'm going to wake up and not be able to play Idol Land on my phone ever again. But instead of reminiscing of this game, I will think about the game that could have been if Idol Land got as much love as Prism Rush did.

KASHIKOMA ✌️

#hero text posting

25 notes · View notes

esperanzagalaxy · 2 years

Note

if you're still taking requests.... any other party members realising that Sasha, Azu and Hamid are all like. idiot 20-somethings ?? unless that's too vague! ❤️

RQG requests #25, IDIOT 20-SOMETHINGS!!! i’m not going to lie, this request Was a little intimidating because i had no idea how to make this funny or channel their twenty-somethingness in any way so i- ahem. had to unearth some memories from high school where, uh. chocolate milk with rum was a thing? and it was cursèd but people made it anyway and it was kind of a meme so. um. here they are. enjoy ¿?

in all seriousness, i fucking love this one. i think the fuckin faces and scribbles are on point, honestly. they’re all just SO no thoughts head empty. i love them. it’s been done for weeks and i still giggle whenever i see it. i relate to this holder-of-the-braincell grizzop but like, that was me at 16 to my classmates. yeah.

anyway, i imagine that, after getting all fixed up, sasha Would be pretty down to do weird shit just because she’s alive. i love her. it’s what she deserves. i miss season 3

thank you so much for this request!! <333 and shoutout to jerry van @crayonturtle for canonizing the gobfam 🙏🏽

ID under the cut!

[ID: a five-panel digital comic of azu, hamid, sasha and grizzop. it's drawn with sketchy black lines on a white background, and the characters are colored with flat and bold colors. azu is a buff, tall black orc, with a shaved head, pink lipstick and white tusks. she has a pink breastplate, a long yellow shawl around her neck, loose yellow pants and brown boots. hamid is short, fat, dark-skinned and dressed in a dark three-piece suit with a green vest, and his purple cape. he's wearing gold make-up and his hair is dark brown, curly and slicked back. sasha is very pale, with shaggy black hair and an undercut, where the white patch is visible. she has dark circles and burns on her face. she's wearing a studded leather jacket, dark gloves and leather armor under the jacket. grizzop has dark gray skin, a scar on the bridge of his nose, dangling arrow earrings on his long ears, red eyes and freckles. he has a green coat with a high orange collar, pauldrons, and a silver breastplate. the comic goes as follows:

panel 1: azu is coming in from the left, with an excited smile and raising a big jug of chocolate milk in her left hand. she's shown from the chest up. AZU: I found chocolate milk!

panel 2: hamid comes in from the right, hovering. he's also grinning excitedly and is holding up a red bottle with both hands. HAMID: I got rum!

panel 3: sasha is on the center, from the chest up. she's pointing to her face with both hands and grinning in a manic way. SASHA: Who wants to try mixing them in my mouth?!

panel 4: the camera pulls back to show the three of them further away, to the right, with grizzop watching them in the foreground with his back to the camera, sitting and polishing his arrows. sasha is screaming up to the sky, back to the camera, while azu and hamid come from either side of her holding their bottles, azu running and hamid flying. they both have cartoony, dot-eyed grinning faces. SASHA: Fucking bring it!! AZU: Eeey! HAMID: Eeey!

panel 5: same angle and distribution from panel 4. in the background, azu and hamid are pouring down the milk and rum down sasha's mouth, pumping their free fists in the air. sasha stands a little unsteadily. grizzop is turning to the camera with an unimpressed, disapproving expression. GRIZZOP: I have six kids and a mortgage. I am entirely too old for this. AZU, HAMID: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! SASHA (gurgling): Blrghughblhgbh-

end ID]

#hamid saleh haroun al tahan #sasha rackett #grizzop drik acht amsterdam #rqg azu #rqg #rusty quill gaming #digital #fanart #doodle #comic #2022 #the great swarm of rqg requests 2k22

629 notes · View notes

anneapocalypse · 10 days

Text

My eternal biggest struggles in FFXIV--and really in any game, but it matters way more when you're playing with other people--are visual perception and by extension reaction time. I have figured out just from talking to other people about how they perceive things that I simply do not process visual information as quickly or comprehensively as some people do. If I am focusing on one part of the screen I am not seeing what's happening in the other corner. When I'm looking at the party list I am not seeing my hotbar. When I'm looking at my hotbar I am not seeing the boss's cast bar. And so forth. The ability that most people seem to have to just absorb all or most of the information on their screen just by looking? I don't have that. I have to constantly, consciously be scanning all the places where I know there's important information. It is not automatic.

Which means that unless I know to look for a specific tell--like a specific cast or a symbol over my character's head--there is a good chance I just will not see it. I hesitate to even explain this to people because it sounds like I'm making excuses or not paying attention when I say "I just didn't see it." But it doesn't matter how much I'm paying attention if I don't know what I'm looking for. I will not process it, which is functionally the same as not seeing it.

And I can learn, is the thing. I know to watch for Ancient Flare in Labyrinth of the Ancients. I know that in Shadowbringers onward, where you'll get strings of really unforgiving, rapid-fire AOEs, that it's better to focus on getting myself to safety and sacrifice a heal or two and then do damage control when they let up, than to miss an AOE because I was trying to heal, and die and force another player to interrupt their rotation to rez me. It just takes practice, and there are things I won't get on the first run, no matter how hard I try.

I do care about playing my job well. I watch guides. I practice. I do my best to learn, because I love the game and it's satisfying to play well, especially as a healer--I want to be the kind of healer that when I'm in the party, you know I've got you, that if you mess up I'll catch you, and it'll be fine. Playing a support role well is very, very satisfying and rewarding to me! And so none of the above means I'm not going to do my best, or that I'm not trying to be better.

I don't get better from people yelling at me or calling me stupid. I get flustered, I lose my flow, I blank out on things that actually are obvious. I get worse.

And the all-or-nothing attitudes from that small but real subset of veteran players is just utterly discouraging. "Either you're playing your job correctly or you're sabotaging." "There are no non-obvious mechanics in regular duties." It reads to me as "Be perfect on the first try or go fuck yourself." That is a standard I will literally never be able to meet. And I'm not saying "poor me," that's not my point. Somehow I doubt that it's a standard the majority of players are able to meet--based on my own experiences playing with sprouts in many, many roulettes.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone learns differently, perceives differently, no matter how rigid the rotation of their job, no matter how "obvious" the mechanics. And for someone else who's struggling I would much rather be the person who gave them a better experience in the game than the person who gave them a shittier one. I don't want to be the person who makes someone quit trying to learn tanking for six months (as someone did to me). If you need to vent about how someone sucks, fine, do it in private. And even then, you know, maybe consider how you talk about it and to whom. Are your comments going to be the reason someone in your linkshell is terrified of learning a new role? Or the reason they're excited to try?

Personally I would rather come out of a duty with a party that struggled a bit but pressed on being kind and helping and encouraging one another and celebrated victory together, than leave someone never wanting to play again.

#ffxiv stuff #anne's ishgardian salt rock #i truly do love this game and 99% of my interactions with randos are fine to great #but boy when there's a bad one #it can just be such a kick in the teeth #not making this rebloggable because i don't want my notes full of advice #i promise you i have trusted friends to give me advice when i need it

22 notes · View notes

bestworstcase · 7 months

Note

Hello! You've mentioned being a NanoWrimo veteran, and I was wondering if you had any advice for planning out your writing for the month? I was going to do an outline beforehand to prepare, but I'm not sure if that's authentic to the NanoWrimo spirit.

i am i’ve been doing nano most years with wildly variable success since i was fourteen. my best advice is:

start writing now.

not your actual nanowrimo project necessarily and not the 1.6k and change daily you’d need to ‘win’ but start writing every day right now. if i’m going into november from a dry spell i like to start with a daily goal of minimum 100-200 words for a week and then at the end of the week, set a new goal of a few hundred more than daily average. rinse repeat until you’re in the habit of writing a decent chunk every day. THE POINT OF THIS is to avoid hitting the “”two week wall“” which is a thing that happens because writing 1.6k+ words in a day is pretty easy but writing 1.6k+ words per day every day for a month is really hard if you don’t, you know. train for it.

you will get the most value out of nanowrimo if you think about it as a writing marathon. it’s difficult because it takes a level of endurance and discipline that you probably do not have unless you’re already a prolific daily writer.

outlining is in the spirit of nanowrimo and has always been part of the culture; some people outline extensively (‘planners’) some don’t (‘pantsers,’ as in writing by the seat of your pants), many fall somewhere in the middle. the only hard rule if you want the, like, pure nanowrimo experience as it was originally conceived is: don’t start writing the actual story until 12:01 AM on november first. you can have anything from zero plan to minutely detailed scene-by-scene notes for the entire novel locked and loaded, but on day one you open a blank document and start writing.

another thing i’d really recommend is trying to write over that 1.6k daily baseline. an extra 340 words per day for five days will net you a free day and those are nice to have in case you hit a day where you can’t write for whatever reason. it’s a lot less stressful to bank up extra words ahead of time than to miss a day or two and have to catch up.

if you don’t already have a process for turning off your inner editor, start trying to figure one out now. the temptation to delete and rewrite a paragraph dozens of times will bite you if you indulge it. try things like hiding your text so you can’t read it (set font and page to the same color, or use wingdings), try sprinting apps like write or die, stuff like that. you are trying to complete a rough draft. it’s okay for it to be rough.

lastly, use the time between now and november to figure out warm ups that work for you. these are quick, simple writing exercises separate from your wip that you do before every writing session. here are some that i like:

set a timer for five minutes and write continuously, stream of conscious, without stopping until the time’s up.

set a timer for five minutes and write a loose synopsis or ramble about the scene you plan to write: what happens, who’s in it, what subplots is it advancing, what pieces of foreshadowing or set up do you need to work in, what’s the emotional tone, etc.

pick an object in the room. spend five minutes describing it in exhaustive but simple detail. think “this cup is a tall red cylinder. it’s made of glass. there’s about a half-inch of clear glass at the bottom. the red is bright and saturated, firetruck red. it’s sitting on my desk with sunlight falling through it, casting a red shadow. there’s water in it with three ice cubes. the cup is about six inches tall.” <- you want a stream-of-conscious list of observations, basically.

use a random [name/setting/plot] generator and write 2-4 paragraphs of something stupid based on the output. just the silliest or most overwrought or edgiest grimdark or saccharine bullshit you can spew out.

take the last five hundred or so words of your last writing session. read them over. open a blank document and transcribe them word-for-word (or nearly, if you can change a word here and there without breaking stride). the idea is not to edit, but to write out a decent chunk of words quickly, without thinking much about what those words are. (i like to do another warmup and then this one and then just keep going when i hit the end of the chunk i’m transcribing.)

the idea is to preempt writer’s block by giving yourself 10-15 minutes of no thoughts head empty rapid-fire word vomit to get your brain on track and ready to go. warming up before your writing sessions will dramatically reduce the frequency of sudden creative paralysis when you sit down to write.

28 notes · View notes

darklydeliciousdesires · 7 months

Text

Lost & Found - Chapter Nineteen.

Another chapter and wishes of a very happy Friday to my beautiful audience! :D

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen

Words - 3,763

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, Minors DNI. Recounts of kidnap, child trafficking, physical/verbal/sexual abuse.

4am. It was not a time Emma was used to seeing, unless she was up late being railed into a new shape by Guero, or enjoying the pleasures of partying. She knew Lee would be even less impressed, with how much she thrived upon a good night’s sleep.

The very lady was waiting outside as they came out, Gilly yawning in the passenger seat. With their bags dumped in the back of her Escalade and Axl dropped next door for a stay with his uncle Tyrone (who proclaimed ‘imma spoil the dude to death, man!’) they climbed in, still half asleep. Since Emma had no passport or ID yet, Lee, Gilly and Guero were sharing the driving, just over three hours each to make the ten-and-a-half-hour journey rather than flying.

“I feel bad, that we can’t fly and it’s because of me,” she huffed, Lee hitting the freeway, the engine roaring as the six hundred and eighty-two horses beneath the hood all charged to gallop.

“How come you ain’t got that sorted yet?” Gilly asked, Emma sipping from her bottle of cherry Coke, burping quietly.

“Because of a point Guero made,” she began, tightening the lid and placing it in her lap. “Since I’ve been a missing person, there’s obviously still a file open on me, one which will be closed when I show up. I’d likely have to be interviewed by the police over where I’ve been and who with for so long as well, too many questions would be asked.

“If I ratted on Rocco, my worry about being snatched would turn into a worry about being shot in the head. I was going to go down the new identity route and buy fake documents, but depending on how all of this goes, I may not need to.”

Lee looked at her in the rearview mirror, winking with a smile. “Here’s hoping, sugar.” She then paused before noting something glaring in similarity about the way all four had chosen to dress. “I can’t help but fuckin’ notice, I love the way all four of us try to look a little less like the tattooed reprobates that we are and instead, end up looking like the goddamned Addam’s Family.”

Every single person within the car was donned in black, all of them beginning to laugh when they noticed that their attempt at semi-smartness had them appearing as if they were attending a funeral.

“Goths R Us, man,” Gilly snorted with amusement, beginning to whistle the theme tune to the aforementioned family movie, Emma giving the double finger click at the required point, too.

“Well, I gotta say it, sunshine. You suit being a redhead,” Lee then spoke, turning to look at her, thinking how pretty her bestie looked in the long, red wig with tumbling waves.

“Doesn’t she, though?” Guero chimed, winking at Emma. “Maybe a little too much. Goddamn women, pulling some Jessica fucking Rabbit magic on a man."

"What is it about you guys and that woman?" Lee cried, moving her car to the middle lane to overtake a slow-moving vehicle ahead. "She's a fuckin’ drawing!"

"Yeah, and I'd nail her until I erased her, I swear to god," he chirped, Gilly busting into hysterics.

"Same, bro. I'd fuck her until her colours ran!" Everyone fell apart in fits of laughter, Lee thinking that already it was more than worth her 3am start and missing her precious sleep for the sheer entertainment value alone. She wasn’t the only one glad of it, the comic relief provided by her boyfriend and Gilly just the thing Emma needed to take her mind off the fact that with every mile that passed, she was nearing the man she feared most.

By the seven-hour point, Guero returned to her side in the back while Gilly took his turn behind the wheel, her nerves were palpable. Looking out of the window while gnawing on the side of her thumb, she saw a hand reach for hers in her peripherals, turning to watch Guero softly shake his head with a faint smile.

“You’re stressing.” Pulling her hand away from her mouth, he grasped it in his, shifting over a little closer and wrapping his arm around her. “You gotta stop. Nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“Easy to say that,” she muttered, leaning into him.

“Yeah, it fucking is,” he snorted, kissing her head. “Cuz’ I’ll fucking finish him if he lays a finger on you, and you know this.” His hand tightened its grip on hers, his nostrils flaring a little. The rage towards Rocco still swirled just as tempestuously as ever, along with his already short fuse.

He softened a little then, realising she likely didn’t need to hear it, or worry about him being able to hang onto his fiery temper. “I get it, you feeling nervous. It’ll be alright, though.”

Nervous was somewhat of an understatement, Emma feeling like she wanted to throw up as Gilly parked outside the hotel just over three hours later.

“So, what I’m thinking is that after talking to Obispo, these guys seemed to be enjoying everything the resort had to offer. Squash, golfing, casino, etc,” Lee began, after the guys had gone to check in. “Which means that I can hang around in the bar, keep an eye on the comings and goings of ‘em. Except, fuck. I don’t know what he fuckin’ looks like.”

Emma pulled out her phone, calling up Google. As with a lot of notable members of the mafia, Vincent’s face was very easily accessible. Clicking on his mugshot from an arrest after a large shoot out he’d been arrested for his part in around a decade ago, she turned the screen. “Like that, but a little aged. He’s very distinctive.”

Lee had already taken a good look at the hotel layout, scanning the pictures and seeing that from the large bar and restaurant area, the front desk and entrance was visible. She was entirely happy to play barfly with Gilly while Emma hid in her room. “Alright, and there’s my visual. He looks... intense.”

That was one way to describe a man who had once chopped off someone’s feet and fed them to Diavolo, his Akita. “He is, he’s very formidable.” Her voice was small, the quietness of her tone reminding Lee of her demeanour back when they’d first met, minus the shaking and the stuttered words.

Reaching for Emma’s hand, she cocked her head. “It’s fuckin’ gonna be fine. You forget I’m ex-military. I know how to run a fuckin’ smooth operation, sunshine.” She winked, Emma feeling at ease, squeezing her hand back before the arrival of Gilly and Guero parted them, hopping out of the car.

“Lobby is all clear from anyone of the Italian American persuasion,” Gilly spoke, swinging his rucksack over his shoulder. “Let’s go.” Taking Guero’s hand, she gripped it tightly, adjusting her sunglasses before beginning to walk. She felt as if she had a serpent writhing around in her guts, some cold, spiny creature that thrashed angrily, her heartbeat escalating, expecting him to pop up at any moment and snatch her again.

Heading in through the glass doors that slid open with a silky glide, her eyes were everywhere beneath her oversized aviators, Guero pulling her to the right, past the front desk and through to the safety of the ground floor hallway. Immediately, she felt herself unravel a little.

“Okay, we’ll see you guys at some point, I guess. I will call with details from my little stakeout,” Lee spoke, she and Gilly continuing down the hall as Guero opened the door to their room.

As soon as she was inside, she felt the creeping sensation at her back abate, yet she was a nervous mess, riddled with anxiety, wanting to go straight into her medication bottle and swallow back a couple of doses to calm herself. Taking more than her standard dose tended to have the opposite effect, though.

Reaching for Guero, she wrapped herself around him, burying her face against the side of his neck. Safe person. Safe person scent. It transported her back to a time where he was the only person she’d trusted while in the thick of her anxious duress, but for that moment her body refused to comply with the logic her brain was desperately trying to convey.

“Breathe, baby. It’s okay.” he told her, hands stroking her back, feeling her chest rising and falling rapidly against his, her heart pounding hard. He closed his eyes, arms tightening around her, a tide of anger rising within him. She’d worked so hard in the last near eleven months to recover, and now there she was again, trembling and frightened.

The urge to go and wait outside of Rocco’s room and bypass the plan completely, to shoot him in the head as soon as he laid eyes on the vile, abusive, child trafficking, raping sack of shit who’d once again reduced his sweetheart to a nervous wreck was almost all encompassing. He knew though that would land them in the kind of trouble none of them would survive, taking out a mafia boss without the agreement of those who served under him.

He couldn’t even imagine an alternative to Calabrese condoning the hit, or being told that the Romano family would handle it internally, should he be in complete agreement with the proposal they were bringing to him. None of them could live unless he died, and Emma? She’d be returned to Staten Island, with nobody to save her.

The thought of being dead and her alone in the world had been on his mind so much, he’d even considered fleeing with her to Mexico, should things not go in the favour of the Mayans. He loved his club, but he wouldn’t be a sitting duck, waiting for the weight of the mafia to crush them.

He believed in standing to fight, and his loyalty to the club tugged strongly at him, but he was smart enough not to remain on a sinking ship if he saw water beginning to pour in. He had not come to such a conclusion easily, either. His simple desire to survive outweighed anything else, now that it potentially could come down to that.

Realising he was spiralling into his own thoughts, he shook himself from it all, being present for her, as he needed to be before anything else. Holding her close had begun to calm her, Emma finally straightening to kiss him, resting her forehead to his.

“And I’m calmer now.” Her thumbs stroked over the flecks of stubble dotting his cheeks. “Thanks for always been so steadying when I need you to be.”

Smiling, he kissed her again. “You’re welcome, and good. I fucking hate seeing you like that, all cuz’ of him.”

Sucking in a breath over her teeth, she drew her shoulders up, the weight of her sigh tugging them down again. She hated feeling like that, too, everything rushing to the surface once more. “Let’s pray he isn’t going to be around much longer to do it, huh?”

It went without saying, he thought.

They hung around in the room for a few hours, Lee calling at just before seven, informing Emma that the mob guys had all just arrived in the bar for a drink, before being told by one of the staff that their cars were ready. With it looking like they were heading out elsewhere for the night, she was safe to go and eat dinner in the restaurant, a prospect that made her feel nervous, but that she participated in all the same. She changed into a long, tight grey dress, having to fend off Guero before they left.

“What’s the matter with you?” she laughed upon sitting at the table, Lee virtually vibrating in her seat opposite. “You look a little jazzed, buddy.”

“Been on the fuckin’ coffee all afternoon! Changed to sparkly water about halfway through, but I didn’t wanna get loaded propping up the bar and I think choosing to be caffeinated might’ve been a little bit of a fuckin’ mistake!”

Gilly snorted with laughter, shaking his head. “Dude, I told you to get decaf.”

“Can’t ever do that, fuckin’ decaf is bullshit! I’ll be fine, they gotta pool here and I brought my swimsuit. I’ll go swim it off, do some lengths, get all the energy out, y’know?”

Her very wide-eyed demeanour had them in soft fits, Lee’s hand shaking upon her beer glass, making her food order at a hundred miles an hour to the entertained looking waiter.

“And I gotta deal with this all night.” Gilly laughed, receiving an elbow from the hopped-up lady herself. She seemed to calm a little for eating, a firm but polite no given when the waiter asked them if they wanted coffee once they’d finished, calling it an evening at 10pm. Well, Lee and Gilly stayed up to see if Vincent returned back at a decent hour, but Emma and Guero headed straight back to their room.

Opening the door for her, he gestured that she should enter first. “There, you get me being a gentleman just once, before I turn straight animal.” He smacked her ass, kicking the door shut, Emma removing her boots and socks.

“Love, you’re always straight animal,” she purred, winking at him. He snaked his arms around her, moving her hair, softly biting the side of her neck with a playful growl. Those nibbles turned to kisses, hands pawing at her. Grasping his hoodie, she pulled it over his head, her nails gently raking down his chest as his mouth met hers, manoeuvring to the bed, pushing him onto it.

“I have to take this off, my head is like a furnace.” Pulling off the wig, she unclipped her hair and let it tumble loose, messy waves framing her face, Guero sitting up to watch keenly as she began to lower her dress. The way his eyebrows rose significantly at the reveal of her black, diamond mesh underwear tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“Wow. Get the fuck on me, right now.”

Ahh, the desired effect.

“Is that what you want, hmm?”

His eyes swept her with desire, his cock beginning to harden at just the sight of her, nodding in response to her words.

“Yeah, I know what you want,” she spoke, coming to sit astride him, pushing her fingers into his mouth, her nipples hard against his chest through the thin mesh of her bra. “You want to pin me down and fuck my tight little pussy until I gush all over your cock, don’t you? Mmm, I love it when you get me so wet that it starts running over my thighs, when you hold me down and pound me so hard, I get dizzy. Yeah, I love it like that.” She ran her tongue up the side of his neck, her hips beginning to gyrate, grinding herself against the big erection she felt tenting his jeans.

He groaned barbarously around the suck upon her fingers, his teeth clamping in a hard bite, Emma pulling them from between his gorgeous lips before her mouth locked to his. Their kisses rained sensuality and steamy heat, Guero lying back on the bed, the feel of pristine hotel linens sumptuous against his bare back, hands travelling all over her as he moaned against her tongue.

If there was a sweeter way to kill time, he was yet to experience it.

Moving beneath her, his body topped hers, pressing her into the bed as his hands slid to make short work of her underwear, sitting up only to shed the remainder of his clothes before his mouth was on hers once more. He kissed her with all the love and heated desire he felt for her, hand trailing down her thigh as he shifted his weight a little, fingers skimming over the sumptuously dewy petals of her cunt.

That first touch had her arching off the bed, her back bending like a crescent moon, her moan rich and full bodied, his thick, clever fingers spreading her wetness around, settling upon her clit and beginning to circle. His touch was so perfect, Emma mewling softly as she felt her core ache, his breaths heavy against her neck as he moved to kiss her elegant throat, a soft groan rumbling his as he pushed two fingers into her.

“Oh god, you’re so fucking wet for me already.” He rumbled, his mouth finding hers, kissing her with all the heat of a furnace, those keen fingers seeking out her sweet spots. Focused rotations forced soft little exclamations from her, Guero drinking them down like wine as his lips locked with hers. “Yeah, that feel good, baby?”

She couldn’t even form words, delight tumbling through her, merely uttering a soft little moan as her head fell back on the bed, his fingers entering, rotating, dragging back, moving his thumb to her clit to stroke it in perfect rhythm. It always boosted his ego a little, seeing how easily he could make her sail into bliss with just two fingers.

It didn’t take long for him to kiss a sizzling path down her body, his mouth craving to be quenched with what drenched his fingers, removing them, sucking her wetness from them with a hungry grunt. He pushed her legs wider so she splayed for him, delving his tongue right into her folds, the syrupy wet of her pussy drenching his mouth.

His tongue dragged her eagerly, long licks from her glossy opening to her clit making her very bones shudder in ecstasy, Guero groaning, watching her body undulate before him. The rolling heat of his tongue pressed flat as it circled her clit, sending waves of bliss through her, her little whimpers filling the air, his hands gripped at her waist as he felt her puddling against his tongue.

She looked down, watching him do it, gasping, her fingers raking through his hair. “You look so fucking hot with a mouthful of my pussy.”

He grinned against her, sucking on her clit. “And you look the same while you’re getting it ate, mamas.” He winked, closing his eyes, groaning as he took a mouthful of her, loving the feeling of her thighs skimming against his face as she writhed.

He sucked upon her like ripe fruit, his groans deep, like boulders rolling over one another, the heat radiating up her spine as she panted, watching him tipping her further into mindlessness before her eyes closed and her head fell back. The flickers of the very tip of his tongue working in speed over her clit were too much, but not enough, her body shaking in response of being so lit up. It felt like an ice storm meeting magma, her body gleaming for him, Guero pushing his fingers back within her heat, burrowing deep.

Placing a suck upon her clit, his cheeks hollowed, the pressure gentle at first, fingers circling her walls, entering her then with rapidity, that suck intensifying until he had her crying out softly. His hunger to devour had him tearing his fingers from her, covering her entire slit in the thirsty suck of his mouth, grunting against her folds as his tongue laved her incessantly.

Reaching for his jeans, he undid them, sliding them and his boxers down, kicking himself out of them with impatience, the need to be within her rocketing through him. His heart thundered in his chest as anticipation skittered over him, kissing his way back to her mouth, lips meeting hers in a hot mesh of filthy indulgence, his words matching.

“Wanna spread those gorgeous legs and let me fuck you, huh? Is that what you want, for me to bury my big dick right up deep in this pretty little pussy, huh blue eyes?” Those words fuelled the epicentre of her bonfire, Emma nodding, their kisses scorching as he moved between her legs and glided into her, her walls tensing on his shaft, dragging a groan from the depths of him. He sat back on his heels, taking root in her, his eyes watching the sight of it, his cock sinking in and out, her wetness bathing him thickly.

He fell to her then, the blinding need to chase the fire roaring through his veins consuming him, his flames catching at her edges as she wrapped her legs around him, their mouths meeting messily.

“Oh god,” she gasped, clasping his face, seduced further by the look of dark lust pooling his near black eyes. “Fuck me, yeah, that’s it. Oh, fuck me!”

And he did, pounding into her relentlessly, hitting her so deep, shocks skittered through her. He slowed then, wanting to make it last longer than the rampant charge his arousal was dictating, pulling himself back, thrusting a little shallower, almost retreating, slipping back deeply. His head dipped, sucking her nipples in turn, tongue circling them with a hungry grunt, his hands stroking paths of blissful heat up and down her thighs as his cock hit her deep, deep, deep.

“Mmmm, fuck. You look so goddamn pretty, spread all around my dick. Got me so fucking drenched, beautiful.” he groaned, sitting back up again, the sight so steeped in erotic heat, he had to close his eyes for a moment, those tingles pulsing too rapidly, the desire to chase his release held fast, slowing, long lashes parting again as he stared down at her. “That feel good, huh?”

“Oh, you’re fucking amazing!” she cried out, her body jolting when he brought his thumb to her clit, tight circles spreading glimmers through her, pleasure melting down her spine and puddling at her cunt, covering him further in her dew. She raised herself up on her elbows, her hips shunting against each of his thrusts, fucking him back with purpose as she let her gaze fall to watch it.

He reached beneath her chin, making her focus on him, his forehead resting to hers as he stared at her with so much love, her heart felt full to burst. Stroking his face, she felt like she could see her entire future in the dark sparkle of his lust blown pupils, nuzzling him, whispering her love, sharing kisses steeped in sweet, yet burning heat.

Her heart jolted suddenly with the weight of it, the realisation of exactly what she would lose if Vincent didn’t agree. He had to, because there was no way she would willingly or easily part from Guero now she’d finally found him.

#guero mayans mc #guero mayans mc fanfiction #guero x ofc #guero smut #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic #mayans mc season 5

29 notes · View notes

panda-writes-kpop · 6 months

Text

A/N: Last part of the series! This might be my favorite series I've done from a narrative point of view, I love how the story has weaved itself together over all of the parts. I hope you enjoy the ending! (and await to see what project will be coming next... 👀)

TW: SPOILERS FOR EVERY PREVIOUS PART, mind fuckery at its finest, Yooh's villain era, OOC Yoohyeon (ofc)

Summary: You finally unmask the Author, but you realize that she's not the villain you've been looking for. Maybe the villain was the friends we made along the way...

♡ Masterlist ♡ 》》》 ♧ AU Masterlist ♧

"Where am I?"

"Back with me." The Author's voice rings through the darkness that has surrounded you.

"Wasn't I just with Siyeon?"

"But you wished to speak with me, no?"

"I-" You pause as your mind scrambles to find something to say. "I can't properly speak with you unless I can see with you."

"Fair enough."

A snap of the fingers pushes you into the light. You shield your eyes from the brightness as you find yourself surrounded by more books.

You melt into the comfort of the armchair as you stare at the women opposite of you.

Blonde hair…

"I know you."

A gentle smile breaks out on her face as she visibly relaxes.

"You do?" The tenderness in her voice, it's welcoming, soft, and… familiar.

"Dami-ya!" You cheerfully say as you hand her the drink she ordered. "You're coming with us, right?"

"Of course I am." She offers you a warm smile before gently brushing her hand against your face. "I wouldn't miss a moment I spent with you…

"And even if we were to part…" You repeat aloud, as you hope that Dami will finish your statement.

"...I'd seek to find you, again and again." She thoughtfully says as you smile in return.

"You remember."

"Why wouldn't I?" You softly ask.

"You didn't remember the other girls… I was worried that I would suffer the same fate." Dami answers as a sad look briefly crosses her face. "Do you remember them?"

"Bits and pieces."

"That's good. It means your memories are returning… which means that I can send you home."

"Home?"

"The world of the Awaken. You still don't remember much about it, do you?"

"Not really, but I have an inkling that there wasn't much to remember."

"It's no matter. When I get you home, you'll be able to pull your life back together." Dami reassures you before grabbing a book from a nearby bookshelf. "Are you ready to go home?"

"What about all of you?"

"We'll figure a way out of here, one way or another. Our predecessors did, and so will we."

"Predecessors?"

You're about to ask another question, but the sound of someone crashing through a wall causes you to jump out of your chair.

"You can't let them go home!" Yoohyeon appears out of the rubble before approaching you. "Don't you like it here? You've met so many great people! Isn't this all you were hoping for?"

"Ah, just the person I wanted to see." Dami mumbles before shutting the book. "Do you want to tell them, or should I?"

"Doesn't the magic bound you from-"

"Yeah, the magic did, but some nitwit broke the rules and nearly collapsed the foundation of the world that we live in!" Dami huffs before folding her arms. "Fine, I'll do it. Alice, Yoohyeon is-"

"No, I can't let you do this, Dami! It's not fair that they get to go home!!" Yoohyeon whines before nearly shoving you out of the way to get to Dami. "We had a deal!"

"You lied to me, Yoohyeon," Dami accuses her before regaining her composure, "so don't get preachy with me unless you want me to do the same with you."

"I didn't mean-"

"I know what you meant to do. You tried to find an unwilling replacement for your role. How does that make you feel?" Dami asks as Yoohyeon bows her head in shame.

"Unwilling of my role… as Alice."

"Alice?" You softly repeat as the gears start to turn in your head. "You… took me away from my life because you were unsatisfied with a choice you made?"

"I know it sounds bad-"

"Yes, it fucking does, Yoohyeon! You could've not only harmed yourself, but six innocent women as well. That's not even including those in the Kingdom of Hearts!" You explode as you vent your frustrations at Yoohyeon. "Is all that you wanted was to go home? I don't think it was because you could've easily gotten a child to come with you, but you chose me. So you might as well start talking."

"I-I… I was jealous." Yoohyeon admits.

"Of what?"

"Of how quickly you moved on from me when we dated in the world of the Awaken!" Yoohyeon yells as you stare at her in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? This all… is for your petty revenge?"

"Okay, I didn't plan the Wonderland part, but when an opportunity like this falls into your hand-"

"I cannot believe you, Yoohyeon!" You scream at her. "You're vile."

"I know." She mutters in shame as you approach Dami.

"Did you know about this?"

"Handong figured it out before I did. The memories you traded, along with Yoohyeon’s…"

"-helped her put the puzzle pieces together, and then she told me." Dami explains before grabbing the book. "Are you sure you still want to do this?"

You glare at Yoohyeon before nodding at Dami.

"I want to go home."

"Okay, I'll get you home." She says. "Close your eyes, and focus on a memory that you have from the world of the Awaken. It'll anchor you to that world forever, and you'll never be able to come back to this place. Are you sure you-"

"Yes, Dami!" You exasperatedly say. "Let's go."

You close your eyes as your mind scours for a memory. You find yourself reaching for a memory from your youth when you read a book about a blonde haired girl and a magical world. She ended up going to that magical world because she fell through a rabbit hole, and that rabbit hole took her to Wonderland, where-

You force your eyes open as you look over at the clock in your bedroom.

I must've overslept.

You check the group chat with your six best friends before getting out of bed.

SuA: Morning sunshines!! How are my favorite people doing today?

Gahyeon: It's too early. I'm going back to bed.

Siyeon: Me too. I need my beauty sleep. 💅

Handong: You can get as much sleep as you need, but you won't be able to stop the acne breakouts that we all get.

JiU: Morning, SuA! I've been trying to bake cookies, but I haven't been able to make a batter that will hold up in the oven.

Dami: Morning, everyone. ☀️

You smile at your phone before typing out a message.

You: Good morning everyone! I have to work today, but maybe we can all go out to eat afterwards? 🥂 Last one to reply buys shots!

You laugh as they all race to answer you the fastest.

I missed you guys, even though I was only asleep for a few hours… I must've had some weird dreams.

You find yourself staring at a book on your shelf. You are drawn to it, and you abandon your phone to take the book in your hands.

It's a copy of Alice in Wonderland, but something's off about it.

Then you notice that the girl on the cover has black hair.

That's weird. I must have a misprint or something.

23 notes · View notes

maple-writes · 5 months

Text

My attempt to introduce Bristlecone:

Details subject to change without notice as I think of better ideas lol

Tagging @concealeddarkness13 since they said they were curious!

Text version under the cut:

Slide one: Bristlecone!

I am trying yet again to edit this story

Slide two: ... Bristlecone?

An older wip (finished last draft back in 2018)

Not sure if I’ll keep the title Bristlecone but I don’t have any better ideas either

I’m finally getting back to it (hopefully)

It’s editing/revising time now

Setting – fantasy with wild west inspiration (simply because I thought it would be neat)

Kind of a murder mystery, kind of a general mystery, kind of an adventure

Which means one of these characters could be the culprit… Or not… It’s a mystery…

Slide three: Viper (one of the POV characters)

That’s not her real name

Deputy of the Aristata and unofficially Winter’s girlfriend (They act as more than just working partners but neither has said anything to each other to acknowledge this)

Observant but tends to ignore her gut feelings

Loves horses, and is in charge of training them

Is unable to speak to people she doesn't know, and then can only manage a whisper

Has had a rough decade or so before joining the Aristata to say the least

Slide four: Honey Davis (the other POV character)

That’s not his real name

Was training to take Cecil’s place as a Mortician Mage until recent events stopped that

Newly recruited as a mercenary to the Aristata

He has some… Secrets (some of which he himself doesn’t even know)

Orphaned as a child when his parents were executed (for good reason)

Something off about him. Eyes shine at night like a cat.

Kind, gentle, and would have made a very good Mortician Mage

Slide five: Winter Balfouriana

This is her real name!

Leader and founder of the Aristata

Viper’s girlfriend

Last surviving member of fairly powerful/noble family of demon slayers

Prior to the “disaster” which killed her family, her mother had trained her in enchanted metalsmithing

Tenacious and strategic, and genuinely cares for her mercenaries

Respectful and fair

Slide six: Stark Jiang

Sees the best in people and tends to treat people as friends unless proven otherwise

Tbh to the point where it’s easy to forget he’s just as deadly as Viper

The first person to join Winter as a mercenary, before their little group even had a name

Pretty hard to rattle him and most of the time he’s just vibing

Very reliable and very trustworthy

Slide seven: Other people

Cecil Davis – Wayton’s Mortician Mage and the man who took in Honey after he was orphaned

Taiga – Cecil’s weird dog

Lady Alabaster – Countess of Vindale. She hired the Aristata to settle a conflict with a neighbouring Lord

Ren Alabaster – Lady Alabaster’s son (he’s gone missing)

Annie and Theo – The other two members of the Aristata

Slide eight: Stuff that's going on

Basically, Lady Alabaster’s son goes missing in the middle of the night

That same night Winter finds Honey alone in desert

The Aristata agree to stay under Lady Alabaster’s employment to try and find her son

So what happened to Ren Alabaster?

Is he even still alive?

What’s the deal with this Honey kid?

Could it perhaps be an issue that Viper doesn’t like to accept what she knows to be true and instead deny to avoid recognizing uncomfortable truths?

Who knows, could be anything!

Slide nine: ~worldbuilding~

It’s fantasy loosely based on wild west aesthetic

There are demons, there are gods and there are fae (technically all three are the same thing but it’s complicated)

Most of the story comes out of a place called Vindale, governed by Lady Alabaster

#wip intro #bristlecone #viper (character)#honey (character)#Winter (character)#stark (character)#trying to add character to the tags as to not get mixed up with actual snake posts or honey etc...

13 notes · View notes

gatheringfiki · 4 months

Text

The following ficlet was written by @miaulady based on this photoset.

Fili/Kili, Rating TBC

You might also be able to read this story on AO3.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, please leave a comment either in replies or on AO3. :)

See The World Through My Eyes

—

Fili watched the sun rise, painting the tip of the mountains gold until it faded away like the steam from his cup of coffee.

He loved the morning hours, watching the world be lit up slowly and steady. It was a marvel he tried not to miss.

But he could not stay and see the day pass by and see how the same place had so many faces over just one day. He had to get groceries and actually get one of his paintings done. And he could not do that when he was gazing at everything.

———

Kili cursed after hanging up the phone. There was no need to put the stress on the poor worker on the other side of the line. It was hardly their fault that his car broke down right here, in the middle between ‘End of the World’ and ‘Last Stop before Nothing’.

He snapped a picture of the empty rode.

This had not been the plan and his mother had warned him that this might happen. That he would get lost or stuck somewhere strange and where he knew no one. He had dismissed it like the young fool he was and now, here he was. Nowhere and Alone.

He tried to argue his bad mood away with that this was part of the experience. That it wasn’t that bad and surely there was village close by where he could ask for shelter in a church or café. There always was.

He checked his phone and- this could not be true. He had already past the point of “Last Stop before Nothing”. The next village, if you could call it that, was six hours away. Per foot. And he would be slower with his luggage, as well as the factor that his food would run out far too soon. And the sun was already setting, making a hiking adventure the errand of an idiot and fool, asking to get hurt and die.

He kicked the wheel of his car to let out some of the frustration.

This was not fair.

This had been supposed to be his time to see the world and find out more about himself before he decided what to become.

Well, now he knew one thing about himself. He hated being stuck out here, alone and lost, with no way out.

The noise of a car reached his ears and Kili looked, hoping that maybe it was already the tow truck, miraculously arriving not five minutes after he was told they would not make it there for the next three days.

It was not the tow truck but an old Jeep, the teal colour of it heavily affected by it’s age.

The car stopped and Kili hoped, prayed, that the person would be helpful and not a murderer or other psychopath.

When the driver jumped out Kili decided he did not care if he was to die or be tortured. That man was gorgeous and it at least would be kind of worth it to have this as the last thing he would see before dying.

He shook his head. Why was he thinking like that? No one would die. He was being ridiculous.

“Are you lost?” The man came closer and smiled at him. Kili could see the dimples forming and wanted to preserve that forever. But snapping a photo out of nowhere from a stranger would be so creepy. He would just ask later.

“No and Yes?” he laughed. “I took a wrong turn, decided to take the long route and then my car broke down.”

“Bad luck,” the man nodded. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“In three days,” Kili scoffed and the man grinned.

“Ah. Yeah. Lofurson Pick up, right? It’s a family business and currently there is a lot of stress. Well, nothing is going to happen to your car out here. Unless a bear wakes up too early from his winter sleep.”

“What a relief,” Kili grumbled. “Where are you headed?”

“Home,” came the automatic reply from the man. And for a few seconds he didn’t catch up that that hadn’t been what Kili had asked. As the realisation came it came with a wonderful blush. “I mean-” he sighed and pointed to a small rode with no tar and almost invisible to the eye. “My house is on the end of that rode.”“There is a village there?” Kili was surprised. He had not seen one on any map, least of all the trusty internet.

“No,” the man shook his head. “Just my house.”

“One house?”

“Just the one,” he nodded and then offered: “You could stay the night.”

Kili had no other real choice but to accept thankfully.

Staying with a total stranger. Another thing he had not planned or even thought of.

——-

Kili, as Fili found out, was a photographer. Or it was what Fili had settled on.

Travelling the world for a year and then decide what to do as job had sounded strange to Fili. He had never gotten the urge to leave this place. He had grown up in these mountains, in the quirky small villages and their odd people.

Kili seemed similiar confused by Fili.

Two worlds were colliding and neither understood the other one quiet right.

Some part of what Kili had said made sense to Fili. His love for the photographs and the memories they held. The understanding of a different kind of art that was not Fili’s. And a sentence later Kili had lost him completely with talking about the grand beauty of some place full of humans. Humans had never crossed Fili’s mind as beautiful. Especially not as crowds. As individuals maybe but then he found them intriguing in their character and behaviour. Not in their existence as such, not like he viewed the birds sitting on his windows and the night air. They only had to exist to be marvelous. Humans? Humans had to work to be marvelous, at least for Fili. Clearly that was not the case for Kili.

But now Kili was in his home. The couch already prepared for him to crash on for the night.

Fili placed an orange on the table and looked at it critically.

“What has the orange done to offend you?” Kili looked up from the journal he had been scribbling in.

“Nothing,” Fili waved him off. “I just can’t find the right position for it.”

“You want to draw an orange?” Kili sounded like an adult asking a child if it was sure it was a good idea to lick the ice.

“And?” Fili was close to snapping. He was not someone used to staying with long around other people. Maybe he was an awful hermit, sue him.

“Alone?” Kili asked again. “Like, minimalism?”

Fili shrugged, “Why not? Get out of my comfort zone, challenge myself.” After all, why not? He had invited a stranger to stay with him and that was so far out his normal behaviour that he might as well try a new style.

Kili hummed and grabbed the orange.

“Hey!”

“If you really want to get out of your comfort zone, might I suggest something?”

That little arrogant- Fili closed his eyes and nodded. He was mature and he could take in the opinions of others. That was important if you wanted to be a good artist. Take the criticism and learn from it. What exactly you learned from it was of course up to debate, if it was something for your art to improve on or that the person making the statement should be kicked out as soon as the sun rose high enough to do so. But you learned from it.

“The paintings around here are yours?”

Again he nodded and watched Kili lean back on the couch.“Minimalism isn’t fully out of comfort zone,” Kili started to peel the orange and Fili could feel his eyebrow starting to twitch. “You could paint a single orange with no problem and you know that. Your issue is that it would be boring.”

Fili crossed his arms, “Are you going somewhere with this?”

“Out of your comfort zone would be a portrait. You paint nature and animals. Not humans. Not one painting of a person is around here.”

Fili watched as the orange was more and more stripped and felt as if Kili was stripping him bare of his walls by simply stating the obvious.

But art had always been very personal and emotional for Fili. And so he choose steady things to draw. And people were anything but steady.

Exhibit A sitting right in front of him, on his couch, eating his orange.

He turned and left the room.

——–

Great.

Just. Great. Well done, Kili! Three hours, that is a new record for getting on someones nerves so drastically without even trying.

Fili had been kind, generous and understanding of his situation, taken him into his home and promised food and a shower.

And what did Kili do? Poked and prodded at him with questions and talked about his journey. Ending with, what Kili had by now titled, the Orange-Disaster.

Dinner had been separate and Kili had not seen Fili at all since then.

The night had been mostly sleepless with some light dozing.

Technically it was still night, the darkness pressing against the windows and the glass door. The door that at other places would lead to a proper garden but here, in Fili’s home, it lead to the wild wood and probably a cliff.

Maybe Kili could jump off it to resolve the Orange-Disaster. It felt appropriate to his sin. He had hurt Fili by criticising his paintings, his art. You didn’t do that with strangers. You didn’t do that with friends. You didn’t do that period. And he had done it. Like the idiot he was. Fili probably had a reason for not drawing humans. Kili could understand not wanting to go insane over a hand or maybe he had some other reason. It wasn’t Kili’s business what Fili painted, how he painted it or if he painted it at all! But god he wished it he could understand him.

He had to apologise, that much was clear.

Or jump of said possible cliff.

Currently he was voting for the cliff.

A dark night and an overdramatic mind. He could not claim to be in a reliable headspace.

Which maybe was why he stood up, dragging the blanket along, and sat down right at the glass door, staring outside into the dark, like he had lost his mind. Maybe he had.

Black.

What did Fili see here that was so special to stay and paint? Nothing interesting showed itself to Kili. It was boring and monotone.

There had to be something he was missing.

He decided to not move until he figured it out. He had to at least try.

His eyes became heavier but he refused to return to the couch. He had made up his mind and would stick through it no matter what.

And the darkness was lifting a bit, his eyes getting used to it. Kili could see the shapes of the trees and their branches. A bit like skeletons and spider nets, he thought.

——–

Fili had missed the start of the sunrise.

He had not slept well, feeling guilty for ignoring Kili just because he was couldn’t handle the idea that someone saw through him so quickly with his paintings.

There was still some time left to see the end of the sunrise and so Fili walked down the stairs, trying to be quiet for Kili’s sake. He didn’t had to wake the poor guy at an hour he knew other people declared as inhumane.

When he reached the living room the couch was empty. And Kili was sitting in front of the door, the blanket around his shoulders, looking outside, his face leaning on the glass.

Fili stayed where he was. In the back of the room. And just watched. Feeling like he was seeing something he wasn’t supposed to witness, no one was supposed to wintess. But he could not look away. If he looked away he would miss it.

Whatever It was. He only knew he had to see.

——–

Kili had watched the darkness lift, revealing more and more of the world, the wood and, yes, a cliff. He saw the sharp edge. A hike to it would probably be a good hour or longer, depending on if you even could reach it.

He could see the mountains and how they started to glow in the sun. A pink hue settling over them, giving them the appearance as if they were blushing at the attention they were getting.

He watched as birds started to fly through the trees and the world woke up.

One bird was more brave than the others and landed right at the door. Looking curious at Kili and Kili looking curious back.

It was blue. So blue. Like someone spilled a pot of ink over it.

Kili didn’t dare to breathe, worrying it would get spooked and fly away again. A bit like Fili, he thought. Rare, beautiful, but easily spooked and then gone in a flash. If you were lucky they might return. But how often was someone lucky twice in their life?

But he had to breathe at some point. He tried to keep it slow and steady. And the bird stayed, picking at the ground, looking at Kili and preening his wings. Such blue wings. And a white belly, Kili noticed. How adorable.

And then it flew off.

Kili sighed disappointed.

Another one he spooked off.

“They are called Mountain bluebirds. Not a very creative name. But fitting.”

Kili turned around a saw that he was indeed a second time lucky. Fili was there, standing in the room. And he spoke to him.

“It was so adorable,” mumbled Kili. “And it flew off because I frightened it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Fili stepped closer and kneeled down next to him. “He will come back. And he will bring friends. They always do. Especially when I put out some peanuts and berries.” He stood up and stretched. “How about some coffee?”

“I am sorry,” Kili blurted out, feeling if he didn’t say it now he would never say it. “About yesterday. Your paintings are beautiful.” And they were. He knew that yesterday too. But now after seeing the morning in the mountain, he felt he understood more of the paintings. They held some of the wonder of that little blue bird, curiously peeking at him, and the blushing mountains. No wonder Fili stayed.

Or maybe his brain was just fried from no sleep. He didn’t mind if it helped him understand Fili more.

“I am sorry too.” Fili whispered. “I am not used to people, clearly. And I should have reacted better. Now,” he said louder. “Coffee.”

———-

The atmosphere had shifted, changed, transformed.

Fili was looking through Kili photos and asked Kili about each one.

He didn’t knew the places and he certainly didn’t know the people. But Kili admitted to not knowing them either. All of them had agreed when Kili asked them for a photo of them.

“Why?” Fili asked. “I mean,” he tried to correct himself. “Why these people specifically?”

“Just something about them,” Kili shrugged. “Something I like or find noteworthy. To be fair there is something about every person. But these just stood out to me.”

Fili placed the photo of a big man in front of Kili, “What about this one?”

“Originally I asked him for a photo because of the confidence he just had like it was his skin. But then; See those tattoos? I asked him about them and turns out he was in the same Regiment as my uncle. Small world.”

“This one?” It was the photo with three young girls, arms tight around each other.

“They were out together shopping. And onne had found out that she got cheated on and was crying out her eyes. That was her,” Kili tapped the one in the middle. The girl was sporting a huge grin but Fili could see the puffy eyes now that he was looking closer. “So I offered to take them to a café. A broken heart can’t be healed by mousse au chocolate but it sure helps. They agreed to a picture of all three of them in front of the café if I gave them a copy of it.”

“That was nice of you,” Fili looked through the rest of the photos. Wondering if Kili had a story for each one.

“I guess,” Kili shrugged. “I had still been in school then. So I payed with my moms money. I just like to keep the pictures I find important with me in that album.”

Just like Fili kept certain paintings in his house and didn’t sell them, no matter how much certain collectors offered to pay. And the sum could rise into swindeling heights on occasion.

“I like this one,” Fili showed Kili the photo. It was of a woman, her hands on her hips and she was smiling at someone off to the side, someone who apparently had made a terrible joke or done something stupid but loveable.

“My Mom,” Kili smiled at the photo. “That was long ago. Ten years, I think. It was my Dad’s birthday and he had fallen off the counter. Just after she had warned him to use the stepstool instead of free climbing the kitchen counter to reach the top of the cupboard for her favourite mug.”

“He must love her a lot.”

“He did.”

Past tense. Fili did not want to put his nose into something he had no place in. But maybe he could give Kili something similar. To even out the field again.

“Wait here,” he stood up from the couch. “I want to show you something.”

———

Kili was placing the photos all back into the album.

It might be odd to print them but Kili liked to have something physical. And this album was special.

To see how careful and attentive Fili went through each one and asked for more information made Kili feel seen. In a good way. Appreciated, interested in. He hadn’t felt like that for a while, not after his father died.

His hobby of photography hadn’t really been taken in with interest by his family. It was just something Kili did, nothing special, he would drop in a month or so. Except his father, who had bought him his first good camera and gifted him the album. “For the special ones,” he had winked at him. Kili hated that he had never thought to take a photo of his father. What if he forgot what he looked like?

Fili came back into the room, a covered painting in his hands and a careful face. As if he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to do this.

“When you said that I did not paint people,” Fili started and stopped. A deep sigh followed and he sat down on the couch again next to Kili. “I only ever painted one person before. And I- I never did again.”

“Why not?”

Fili pulled the cover of the painting, revealing a man looking almost like Fili. But he was not. Instead of the striking blue eyes that Fili had, his were a deep brown and the nose was different. He was older too. Wrinkles at his eyes and around his mouth showed proof of a life full with laughter and enjoyment.

“Your father,” Kili said and leaned closer. Trying to see more of the person in the painting, what he was like except joyful. And he saw several things. The eyes spoke of passion and the tilt of the head of never ending curiosity. Kili knew he would have asked this man for a photo and then asked about his life, knew he would have ended in the special album.

Fili nodded, “He teached me to paint the world. He said painting a person is not possible. You can’t get them right. Catching their body, yes. But not the person.”

“I think you did.”

“No, I didn’t,” he shook his head. “It isn’t right. His eyes aren’t right. They were different. Deeper. Sadder, I think.”

Kili thought of how his mother’s eyes changed over the years.

“I see,” he carefully pulled the painting out of Fili’s hands. “But you captured something from him. Be proud and happy about that, right?”

“Everyone is their own worst critic, you mean?”

“I guess.”

Minutes of silence passed by. But it was comfortable. An understanding of each other in it.

Kili broke it, “Can I make a photo of you?”

“Yes, but only under one condition.”

“Deal.”

“You don’t even know what it is yet,” Fili smiled at him fondly.

“I don’t care.” He would have a photo of Fili, a memory of him. Wonderful Fili in his house in the mountains with his paintings.

“I want to paint you.”

Kili blinked, stunned into silence.

——–

Kili had stayed a whole week with Fili at this point. And somehow it seemed like he had been here forever.

Kili had made his photo of Fili. And another. And another. Never satisfied with it. Mumbling under his breath and frowning at his camera.

Fili had started to sketch Kili, to get used to the human body again. Every day, only Kili. Until he was satisfied with how he got more comfortable with it again.

Still Kili had no photo he seemed content with.

Fili had given Kili an orange and started the actual portrait without Kili noticing. Deciding he wanted to the painting to show the moment how Kili had seen him, through the art he didn’t create. He would never see an Orange the same way.

Kili laughed when Fili showed him how it was going along. Telling him how he had given the moment the name of “The Orange-Disaster”.

Bofur Lofurson had called and told Kili that his car was picked up and brought in to be fixed. Kili would get a call when his car was done, which shouldn’t take all that long.

Another photo of Fili was made and again no satisfaction found with it.

“I can’t understand,” whined Kili. “It is like you are an enigma for my camera.”

Fili hummed and put another stroke of teal for Kili’s shirt on his canvas.

He didn’t mind that Kili took so many photos of him. At the beginning he had been stiff and awkward when Kili took a photo, worrying about each and every hair he had and wrinkle in his shirt. Now it was as normal as birds flying. Birds flew and Kili took photos.

“How is your painting going along? At least one of us should have some progress,” Kili stepped around and took a look. “Damn, you are really good. Like a classical painting of ye olden times. I look so mature.”“You are not mature though,” Fili poked him in the ribs.

Kili put his finger in the orange paint and then across Fili’s face.

“I stand corrected.”

“Arrogant Bastard,” whispered Kili, leaned closer and kissed him.

When they separated Fili was staring wide eyed at Kili and Killi stared wide eyed back.

“Shit. Sorry,” Kili took a hasty step back.

———

Kili could see how Fili’s mind was sprinting to get to an answer, to understand what just happened and what to do next.

Why did he kiss him?! God. Just because Fili was gorgeous and he had fallen right into the warm and soft feeling of living with him, that didn’t mean Fili had also fallen in love.

“I am sorry,” he repeated again. “I- I will just- go outside. Yeah, I will go outside.”

As he reached his boots he felt arms going around him, holding him back and hugging him. Fili’s face pressing into his back.

“Fili?”

“Just, give me a minute,” mumbled Fili into his clothes.

And so they remained standing like this.

Kili carefully placed his hands over Fili’s arms, fearing that something might crumble away if he moved or breathed wrong.

“A week,” Fili started. “A week I know you and it feels like forever.”

Kili nodded, unsure if he was allowed to speak. But he rubbed Fili’s arms, trying to show that he understood.

“And you will be gone soon. Your car will be fixed and you will continue your journey, make more photos.”

Kili could feel his inside freeze. Right. He had totally forgotten. And he was supposed to be home for Christmas in a few weeks too. This was only temporary.

Fili put his face on Kili’s shoulder, sighing deeply and hugging him closer.

“I just, I already miss you. Which doesn’t make sense.”

“I will stay,” Kili blurted out. He had done already two spontaneous things without considering the consequences. What was a third?

“What?” Fili pulled back and turned him around by his shoulder.

“I will stay here with you! I do have to go back home for Christmas or my Mom might consider me a victim of a serial killer. But I will come back then.”

“What about seeing the world?”

“You can show me the world here, can’t you?”“Only a small part,” Fili frowned. “I can’t show you a desert in the Northern Moutains. And you like people, Kili. I am… more of a hermit.”

“Then we can go on a trip together. Later. Plan where we want to go. Maybe Europe. Asia. Africa. We can go and see it together. Not just the people but places like here. Where there is just us.”

He wanted, he wanted Fili to say yes so badly.

“What about deciding what you want to do as a job?”

“Travel Photography?” Kili shrugged. “I can find something to combine it all. Magazines or a Blog. And if you don’t want to travel, you can stay home and I will come back to you, show you all the places and only take you to the ones I know you will love.”

Fili looked at him seriously, considered it for a long time and then smiled.

“Then I think I can introduce you to an old friend of my dad.”

“You have friends?” Kili pulled up his eyebrows and grinned. “What about that Hermit status?”

“Very funny,” Fili pulled him back into the living room. “His name is Gandalf. An odd guy but-”

“Wait. Gandalf as in the founder of the magazine ‘Adventures around the world for every occasion’?”

“You know him?” Fili asked surprised.

“I got the idea of this trip from there! Put together my own route from certain Highlights. Only thing I couldn’t get in was watching the Polarlights. Everything was booked full.”

“Well, then you will get along perfectly fine with him. But fair warning, the editor is apparently a nightmare. If you trust Gandalfs word. The times I spoke to him he seeme perfectly pleasant though.”

“Buggins?”

“Baggins, I think.”“No,” Kili shook his head. “I think I would remember if the editor was named like a bag.”

Fili stopped after he picked up his phone and then started to laugh.

“What?” Kili asked and laughed as well.

“I- You-” Fili gasped for and pointed at the paint on the table. “I think you have orange paint on the back of your shirt now.”

Kili gasped and tried to turn his back to see, failing to spot his own back. But it would make sense, the streak of orange paint was mostly gone on Fili’s face.

#submission #Gathering 12 Days 2023 #Fili/Kili #FiKi #Durincest #the Hobbit

13 notes · View notes

transboykirito · 1 year

Text

some short rambling kirisuna with trans girl kirito my beloved

Asuna tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. They’d been laying in bed for hours now, and she was pretty sure that neither she nor Kazuto had slept for so much as five minutes. She couldn’t be sure what was keeping him up, but she knew what was keeping her awake, and it made her want to cry conflicted tears.

She was a lesbian.

It was a recent realisation, but it was one that hit her like a bolt of lightning.

She’d considered it for months now, going back and forth with her friends and with her own reflection in the mirror. She’d done her research, she’d read every article she could find. Everything brought her to the same conclusion.

She loved Kazuto, she really did. If there was such a thing as soulmates, he was hers. It was like their minds and bodies were designed just to fit together, to be each other’s perfect matching halves.

But she couldn’t deny that the idea of calling somebody her husband felt… wrong. It felt like something she was supposed to do, something that was the simple, natural progression of things. She’d married a nice man, settled down and now she was his wife. That was what was expected of her.

They’d been married for six months now, and she’d be lying if she didn’t say that, on one or two occasions, she’d re-imagined their wedding day, where she might find a bride waiting for her at the alter instead of a groom.

The guilt ate her alive. She loved her husband, her soul loved his soul, but she knew deep down there would always be something deeply unsatisfactory about her life unless she was honest with him, like there was a piece of herself that she'd never have a chance to truly discover or grow. She would spend years wondering what could have been, who she could have been if she'd given herself the chance.

Kazuto had been open about his own feelings towards Eugeo and a handful of boys and men he’d known throughout his life. Hell, it was one of those conversations that had prompted Asuna to follow up on the silent, conflicting feelings she’d felt for years. She knew he would forgive her if she asked to break things off. He would understand.

…Right?

She’d been trying to have the conversation for days now. She’d found her conclusion within herself, all she had to do was voice it. She knew she couldn’t keep trying to hide this away.

She’d reached her breaking point the night before, when she’d fallen asleep to a blissful dream of their wedding day. Except… the one dancing with her wasn’t Kazuto, but a strangely familiar, faceless woman. She’d held Asuna so securely as they danced that Asuna felt like she’d known her for her entire life, and she’d woken up in tears.

She wanted to find that woman, find that moment.

Kazuto deserved that moment of his own, too.

“Asuna…” Kazuto’s voice whispered in the dark, “Are you still awake?”

“Yes,” she rolled over to look at him, her eyes widening when she saw his face. Was he… crying?

“I’m fine,” he said quickly, already sensing her concerns growing, “I… I need to talk to you about something. I think you might already know.”

She panicked. She had noticed something was off about him for a few weeks, but she’d been so preoccupied with her own thoughts that she told herself she was imagining things. God, how much had she missed?

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Asuna reached out her hand to hold his own under the blanket, tracing her thumb in circles over the back of his hand. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to soothe him or herself.

Kazuto took a deep breath, “Listen. I’ve been thinking about a lot.”

So have I, Asuna thought to herself, a little sarcastically.

“I didn’t realise how hard this would be to say,” Kazuto said, a laugh almost dancing on the edge of his voice, “You… you know how I’ve been playing GGO a lot more, lately?”

Asuna could recall the hours he’d lost to that game in just the past month - really, it had to be unhealthy. But Kazuto had seemed happy each time he woke from his dive, and Asuna couldn’t complain about that. If anything, she was just happy he was finally enjoying games other than ALO.

“Of course I noticed, did something happen in the game? Is Shino-non okay?”

Then Asuna’s thoughts turned sour. She didn’t play GGO nearly as often as Kazuto or Shino did, guns just weren’t really her style, so she didn’t truthfully pay much attention to what happened in the game. Kazuto knew that, Shino knew that. Had they been using GGO as a place to secretly meet up and…

She must have been easy to read - honestly, between herself and Kazuto, they could read each other as easily as a book, it came with the territory of being so familiar to one another - because Kazuto immediately screwed his face up.

“It’s not what you’re thinking, I promise, it has nothing to do with Shino,” he assured her, noticeably avoiding looking her in the eye.

Whatever it was, it was serious. She’d never seen him this frustrated just trying to talk to her. Yes, there were moments when they’d had petty arguments or been frustrated with one another, but he looked completely angry with himself as he seemingly battled with his tongue to form the words.

“There’s something I need to say, too…” Asuna’s voice was small, nervous. If Kazuto had something serious to say, they might as well both get things off their chests at once.

Kazuto gave her a look, somewhere between terrified and sympathetic, and smiled a forced smile.

“We’ll say it on three, okay?”

Asuna swallowed. Kazuto took a shaking breath.

“One…”

“Two…”

“Three…”

“I’m a lesbian.”

“I think I’m a woman.”

Then there was silence.

They both tried to process what they’d just heard, and for a moment Asuna wondered if she’d simply made up what Kazuto had just said. This had to be a dream, right?

Then there was laughter.

“Really?” Kazuto asked, because Kazuto was truly the one person in the world who would be able to make Asuna laugh when she felt like sobbing.

She nodded a little, “I’ve been trying to tell you for a few weeks, I just didn’t want to lose you.”

“Oh, same here,” Kazuto breathed a sigh of relief, “Do you still want to be together? I mean, I know this probably takes some time to get used to, and I don’t really know where I want to go from here or what I want to do now, and I haven’t picked out a new name really, but-”

“I want to be with you forever.” Asuna interrupted, “That’s why I was so afraid to tell you. I knew I had to tell you eventually, but I couldn’t bare the thought of having to lose the person I love so much. I guess I should have known that wouldn’t happen.”

“Guess you’re still stuck with me after all,” Kazuto joked, then she smiled and pulled Asuna into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. Asuna gently kissed her shoulder over the fabric of the t-shirt she’d worn to bed, humming to herself contentedly.

So, Kazuto really was her soulmate after all. They’d be each other’s happily ever after, their dream for the rest of their lives, it would just take a little work to get there - and how exciting it was that she got to be by her side for all of it, right from the very beginning.

“What should I call you now?” Asuna asked.

Kazuto rolled over to lay on her back, and Asuna rolled on top of her. They’d slept like this so many times, it really was a wonder they still insisted on having a king-sized bed. Asuna’s half was usually wasted space.

“Kazuto, I think. For now, anyway. I wanted to find something else, but…”

“But?”

“I’m so used to the way you say my name, it feels weird when I try to find anything else. I liked Kazuko, or maybe Kazuha, but I think I’m overthinking it.”

“Kazuko,” Asuna repeated the name a few times, smiling, “I like it, it’s pretty! I think you should be allowed to overthink this, it’s a big decision.”

She blushed, “It sounds pretty when you say it.”

“Kazuko?” Asuna looked up at her, blushing just as much as she was, “I like saying it too, Kazuko. I’ll keep saying it while you get used to it, if you want me to?”

“Of course,” Kazuko grinned, “Just… not in front of the others just yet. I haven’t had the guts to tell anybody else yet.”

“Of course, I won’t say anything until you want me to, Kazuko,” Asuna felt a pair of arms wrapped securely around her middle and she relaxed, breathing in deeply. She felt so, so safe with her.

“Can I ask… when did you realise? That you were a lesbian, I mean,” Kazuko asked, deftly tracing patterns on Asuna’s side with her fingertip.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” Asuna admitted shyly, “I think I finally made my mind up about it around three weeks ago now. How about you, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Kazuko laughed again, “Around three weeks ago, when I had this dream about us getting married, but… we were both brides. I can’t believe I was so stupid, I should have just told you right away, we could have both avoided feeling so crappy the last few weeks.”

“I’ve been dreaming about the same thing,” Asuna said, then she yawned, “I love you, Kazuko. I’m glad we can tell each other anything.”

She swore she actually felt her heart skip a beat, and she giggled to herself. She had the cutest wife in the world.

A wife.

She had a wife.

Sure, things were going to take time to get used to, but she had the most incredible woman in the world by her side. They’d make it through anything together.

“We can talk about this more in the morning,” Kazuko mumbled, kissing Asuna again as she started to fall asleep, “Thank you for trusting me to tell me anything.”

So, just like they had so many nights before, and just like they were going to continue to do for the rest of their lives, Asuna and Kazuko fell asleep in each other’s arms, and Asuna remembered for the millionth time that the woman she was lying with truly was her soulmate, in every sense of the word.

And when she finally fell asleep that night, she found herself reliving the same dream she’d had a precious few times now - a dream she was certain would one day come true. An eternally familiar woman, her beloved Kazuko, holding her so securely as they danced, like she’d known her their entire lives.

Someday, she knew they would.

#mine*#kirisuna #trans!kirito #i've been thinking a lot about those stories where couples get straight married then one comes out as trans and the other comes out as gay #like... if that isn't proof soulmates exist idk what else could convince me you know?#its 1am and i just kinda rambled into a google doc for *checks document hisrory* 31 minutes #because i just have this need to write things idk #queer kirisuna really does have my heart i love them #queer kirisuna #< giving them a tag i post about it a lot #mine*fics #mine*tumblroneshots

34 notes · View notes