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9w1ft · 5 months

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Being a gaylor/kaylor is hard. You speak the closest to truth and then Taylor proves you wrong by doing something opposite to please the hetties. Then you are called losers and liars. One thing for sure that Taylor doesn't care about Gaylors/Kaylors at all. She CONDONES the homophobia and bully towards us. Always has been. After the 1989 prologue, Travlor stunt, always in the past. And will do in future. Sometimes I feel like she hates us so bad and always throws us under the bus. I wonder why we are still here. There is nothing positive about being a gaylor. If she wants to stay extremely closeted and parade her bf as the straightest women alive, then what is the purpose of flagging just to prove us fool on a larger scale. Does our existence bother her?? It doesn't seem that she like us. I just wanted to know from someone experienced.

hm, i dunno. i’ve felt very loved by taylor and karlie!

i think so much of how one might feel is based upon self-imposed rules. if you change the way you expect taylor to act, or how you vocalize how you expect her to act, maybe 75% of the frustration one might have is resolved.

i think condone is a pretty strong word to impress upon taylor. i think people have all gone through enough cycles to see what taylor does and doesn’t do in reaction to fandom behavior but i think a lot of people refuse to ask themselves why she always acts the way that she does, and people also refuse to change the way they comport themselves, but still act the same way while expecting a change to come from taylor.

even in the way you wrote your anon, you’re making a lot of assumptions about why taylor does things, and i don’t mean it as a criticism of you personally. i understand why you write it out like that because i think it’s a popular way of thinking. but i think you’re setting yourself up here. for example, you describe a dynamic of taylor flagging and then taylor bearding. maybe she’s not queer flagging for us, maybe she’s just being herself! and bearding to compensate for that, because for some reason she doesn’t want to be out right now. i think a lot of people say taylor doing gay things is flagging because they’re trying to prove that she’s gay (umbrella term) or that she’s trying to tell everyone that she’s gay. that’s voluntarily setting a test up for people who have hate in their hearts to knock down.

i’m not talking in ideals here. in a vacuum, in an ideal scenario, there are things that would be more “right” or “just” or “fair” for taylor to do — i am just not so sure if it’s wise for people to keep trying the same things and expect different results. especially after songs like anti hero and dear reader were put out in the world. so i dunno, maybe try different things, or change the conditions of your own environment, etc. you have the power to tinker with your own experience of what is going on.

i don’t think this is kind advice for a perfect world and im sorry if i sound cold or heartless. sometimes it pains me to see people set themselves up to be angry so i’m just trying to be a little more practical with my response. i still think there are ways to make this all work for you or anyone personally, but i think it requires you the individual and not taylor to make changes. that’s a choice that’s ultimately up to you the individual to make.

i hope everyone can find a balance that works for them, or a pastime that is a better net positive for their life!

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cock-holliday · 6 months

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hey not rly a question just saying i appreciate your 2cents on things generally. i am a gnc transfem but am really a boy more than anything so someone looking out for those of us who arent palettably feminine is rly cool of you. a lot of the stuff you mentioned in your long post just now hits at some of the stuff thats making me feel uneasy around some of my transfem friends. i fear if i was fully myself i wouldnt be accepted. i hate to feel too queer for fellow queers, but. but yea anyway most of the time ive known i was trans most of my friends had actually been trans guys so when i hear this anti transmasc rhetoric going around it makes me rly uncomfortable im sick of the idea that trans guys have it easy. its not true and not fair do you fear being not accepted by others like you too? is this normal? idk. i didnt feel this when i came out 5 years ago this is new to me

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with that, and I can relate. Essentially I came out as a binary trans person a decade ago and raced to transition as quickly as possible (it was not fast, it was slow and frustrating) and when I finally got there then I had to endure Gender Crisis 2 where I realized I wasn’t this binary gender either.

It was very difficult to sort out. Did I just not feel special enough as Gender 2? Was I faking this whole time and was really just cis? Was I detransitioning? It took a lot to figure out what I wanted, how I wanted to be seen, and to grapple with the idea that it will continue to fluctuate.

I am masc but do not consider myself a man. Boy, maybe. Do I see myself as a woman? Also no. Girl, maybe. But a masculine girl. I think my boyness is more feminine than my girlness…but still both…butch.

I am trans but not a trans woman or a trans man. While figuring myself out in round two I flirted with transmasc/transfemme as labels, but neither fit better than the other. Or maybe neither fit. I know some use transfemmemasc but idk that I like it for me. I use trans women’s shaving tips. I use trans men’s voice training tips. There are members of both camps who wouldn’t consider me one of them.

I currently work a full-time job. I cannot present or fluctuate in my presentation when I want to. We have gendered locker rooms, gendered bathrooms, my ID badge has a photo that doesn’t look like me. I think a lot about that post that’s like “I might be nonbinary but I have a job so I can’t worry about that right now.” Only, I already know I am nonbinary. I’ve already been out to a lot of people IRL. How do you put that cat back in the bag? Can you? If I was allowed to present how I want now and everyone was cool…will they still be understanding when it swings back the other way? I don’t want that sort of pressure at work.

I am lucky I have a partner who understands and likes my presentation—and spectrum of it. I have trans friends who understand or try to understand, and genderweird friends who get it. It is a bit isolating—how everything is split into one camp or another. Things I supposedly couldn’t relate to I do, things I am not meant to have experienced (or acknowledge I experience) are not welcome topics in trans discourse.

It is difficult! There are huge Boy v Girl (but make it progressive) pissing contests on tumblr and it’s very irritating how deep the anger goes. Carve room for yourself and you’re accused of belonging to the other camp, as if it really even is ‘the other’ camp, it’s the same fucking camp.

I started to identify with the word butch only in the last few years, and because my gender exploration had taken me back to the trans folks of yore. They were brash and bold and contradictory and I liked that! It made me yearn for vague labels and defiant privacy while also being unabashedly authentic! Then I learned that it still exists. It’s small, and got pushed to the fringes, sure. But I’ve only had access to the books and zines and tales of the genderweird from the internet, and to hear it resonate with so many others proves to me we’re still out there.

It’s very tough to want to be true to yourself when there is a constant pressure to conform to something. It’s doubly tough when that pressure comes from other trans people. But finding more and more people who live this way and feel this way makes me feel surer in my choice to just loudly be what I am, fuck the rest, whenever I can.

I cannot always look how I want or be seen how I want, so the spaces where I do have control I refuse to be anything other than what I am 110%

I really hope you can find more and more space that lets you exist in the grey. I hope your friends become more accepting. In the meantime and hopefully continuously in tandem—you are not alone in this experience and others out there understand what it’s like. ❤️

#ask #anon ask

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skiesinblue · 1 year

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I’ll be turning 17 this year, turning into a more mature and responsible person as i think i can be.. to be more realistic and transparent in front of the world, but still not being more of an open person cause there are few things you are suppose to keep within yourself or your circle and it stays till there. Last year i leant a lot of things from life; how actually the world like my parents always mentioned to me about, is, how things work around you, how to carefully take each step in your life while being totally aware of the consequences in the future cause one big or even a small step can bring a huge change in your life. Next year i’m looking forward to a lot of things because as i grow up i have started to understand the working of this earth, it’s every revolution and rotation and different aspects. I’ll be mainly focusing on myself and my family foremost, also some of close friends.

Firstly, what i learnt last year was how actually people are, they can turn into snakes into just a matter of seconds which, not gonna lie, is creepy, scary, terrifying, horrible and above all, risky. Yeah, but there are still some people who are worth something, even though you nearly met them a couple of months ago, they totally get your vibe and that’s totally fascinating!! But honestly, this types are very very few species, you can’t get them everywhere, what i mainly noticed last year was all about negativity i came across among all the people i’ve met in my entire lifetime, and i’ve been noting all the points optimistically, there’s no discrimination on that. The main thing i understood what my parents used to warn me about, “be careful while making friends,” but at time i was an early teenager and i didn’t get things maturely, i was like, “they’ll be just telling and blah blah, it’s something that shouldn’t be bothering me much,” but now it does. I am thankful that my parents are strict against me and now that i’ve been taking every step carefully knowing the circumstances of the future. Kids of my age be doing drugs, parties, toxic relationships and all you say ‘cool’ stuff, i thank my parents cause they kinda actually protected me from all this. Things influence me quickly and as parents they definitely know about it since i’m their kid, ha!! They’ve turned into a person i never thought i would become. I’ve been anti-social which technically means i tend to remain away from all this stuff, and they are absolutely not the reason why i’m anti social; i made myself one ‘cause at one point in my life i understood that all this is not worth anything, it’s just timepass and does not have any such positive outcome; all you gonna end up doing something that’s inversely gonna affect you, your mental or physical health, priory studies and your career most importantly. So yeah, i’m heartily grateful to my parents to mould me into a perfect person i thought i would never be. Since i also started to pre-maturely understand things, i even discuss it with my parents whether if it is any topic or anything, i talk to them pretty openly and it’s feels comfortable discussing things with him; after all they’ve experienced life more than enough than me, i learn things from them and moreover discussing various topics helps me gain certain amount of knowledge required for me to act smart. They help me to get aware of things around, how to act smart and not get left out, etc., basically life lesson after all im going to be adult soon. They’re teaching me various things, as in social networking and i can’t mention how much they help me.

yeah, so i guess that’s it for today. i hope i am going in the right direction my life being all positive and carrying all the good learning’s… i’ll maybe share more thoughts on genres like this since it makes me think positive and more reactive, i guess (??) lmao.

— skiesinblue

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elegyofthemoon · 8 months

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2nd eruption was SO GOOD it actually took me months to finish because it was so heavy emotionally to get through. but A++ manga id recommend it to ppl who dont even play the game haha

im so glad you love fu hua omg, youre gonna be so happy even more so down the line. and that chapter youre on is when i started falling for the hi3 story, as well as the first open world. when you get to the first open world/finish its main story, let me know! i think that might be a good time to send you the sakukallen event. itll still be confusing without context but id more than love to share what i remember of the story surrounding it

hoyo definitely seems to have learned from each preceeding game in terms of chronology and making things "easier" to get into imo. but you mention you have ideas and speculation and i'm all *eyes emoji*. tell me them! i wanna hear!!!

and ty for the well wishes and for your kind words over the years. i feel like we've both grown so much and come so far, its quite breathtaking

YES!!! It was really good and such an emotional rollercoaster, but I loved getting to see Anti-Entropy and Schicksal actually working together since in game, someone (forgot who) was raising the question of both of them being rather similar in function and goal so it was cool to see them come together in a way (albeit the story getting rewritten that Schicksal was the one to fight on their own), and all the characters within the manga was soooo good ; w; As I said, it was supposed to last me a month but. I couldn't put it down asdkjlfah Even now I'm like "yay time for bed!! lets go read the manga :DD" and realize. I already finished it :x

FU HUA YAAAAY that's exciting to hear!! I'm already liking the potential tbh because like with some of the flashbacks in Second Eruption I was thinking like >:OOOO WAIT IS SHE THE ORIGINAL OWNER OF FENGHUANG??????? I had a speculation for a while anyways that Fu Hua is much older than she appears within the game and getting confirmation that she is in fact older made me go :O IT WAS ALREADY A LOT TO FIND OUT THAT SHE WAS THE IMMORTAL CELESTIA (read Elan Palatinus before) so I couldn't help but be fond of her heheh I'm super excited though :>

Do you mean Sakura Samsara? :0 I actually finished through the main story! And the...side? (Right now I feel like the side story ended abruptly or something. idk if I just have to level up to get more story? but-) That's how I got more attached to sakukallen (with uhh Gratitude Arc being what piqued my interest in them). If that's the open world you mean, then 👀👀eyyyy

forgive me..... my brain needs to be prompted about specific speculations bc my recall is so bad aklsjfh but!! if something comes up i'll dm you :>

:O actually that made me think...I didn't realize just how long we've known each other?? I honestly can't remember when we met (but I'm pretty sure it was when I was ending high school/starting undergrad), which means it has been quite a while!! Much time has passed, and we've experienced a lot with it but it is such a nice thought to think about growing together with a friend :'> And there's still more to come!! Isn't that great?? I hope that it'll be good for the both of us and we keep growing 💪🏼💪🏼

#i saw this message at like 3 am this morning when i woke up bc of insomnia #i got excited but i had to force myself to go sleep some more #had to answer this asap so its not just hanging over my head the entire day #(to stay focused lmao)#answered #goldshitter #if im not mistaken we've known each other for...7 years now?#insane....#i cant remember what was the start of our friendship #WAIT #WAIT I REMEMBER #IT WAS BC I SAW YOUR POST ABOUT HOPES MOM AND I WAS LIKE 'OH!!!! I CAN ANSWER THIS'#adsjfkalskjahlkjhl and then we kept talking since then #i might be wrong though but im pretty sure thats what it is #OMG WHICH REMINDS ME (god sorry tangenting)#but the whole thing with cecilia within game and her telling kiana to not worry and stuff #gave me whole ass flashbacks to 'moms are tough' GIRL YOURE GONNA DIE STOOOOOOP 😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyways point is! while we dont talk regularly i am happy to have met you ^7^ !! im glad that i reached out and its nice sorta knowing #someone else is there while going about life haha #also. 20 x i'm so sorry that this is Dang Long #also Also (doesnt shut up) i really like how hoyo keeps making a lot of games where its a lot of cogs turning within a machine #lots of things going on leading up to stuff. its a lot of fun to delve into!!#OK DONE DONE DONE DONE-

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mariacallous · 2 years

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AUUGHHhHGhh ms callous.....i am like UNABLE to go in2 work things have been deteriorating in the office (yes we are all in-person since last yr BARF) since at LEAST the new year and esp fallen apart between me and another senior team member. She has spread so much negativity in the office and is using the whole anti-work quiet quitting work to the rule rhetoric on all my coworkers (and heres the thing I AM A FAN of all that stuff EYE dont want to slave away in the office for 100 hrs a week etc) but we have federal worker protections (like i CANT work more than 50 hrs/wk without special approvals) and our management bends over backwards to accomodate leave and generally let us do what we want as long as we get the projects done. She has chosen to take advantage of this in the past and has on more than one occasion lied abt the nature of her leave as well as the duration of it and only took leave RIGHT at the critical phases of our projects which as a senior she shld know better. In response management tightened discipline on leave and she used that to stir up discontent so for the last several months ppl just weren't doing anything. Ive been picking up the slack bc i still believe this is a team so ive been cleaning up after ppl while shes telling them they're too smart and special to even be on our team and basically acting like SHE can manage their time. For some reason they all love her so things only got their absolute worst last month when we experienced huge turnover and started operating at like under 50% staffing levels. I couldn't keep up with all these projects PLUS my own sudden due outs PLUS QC PLUS dealing w the interns and this girl has just BEEN there like giving them direction without giving me any insight, gleefully talking abt all my mistakes (bc i had to clean up after her so many times my management noticed and disciplined her) and then she also had the gall to tell everyone i am too overwhelmed by my workload INCLUDING randoms from outside our unit that we regularly deal with! She's been cozying up to the brand new folks too and now they all believe her sob story that shes being retaliated against by management for taking leave and that im too incompetent to handle my role. WHICH WAS KIND OF TRUE FOR LIKE. 2 weeks out of 2 yrs!!! And if everyone else did THEIR jobs i wouldnt have to be like this! So shes FINALLY leaving for a job where she hopefully will be paid to do nothing like she wants and my management asked for peer comments on her performance review and uh. I really let it rip LOL theres no way she's not going to know its me i was so specific w details (like her weird unhinged backyard elopement with our OTHER coworker that she wanted to keep a secret from all of us but we all heard her tell her friends bc our bullpen????? Is???? Open plan????) I ended up taking the rest of the week after submitting my comments so ive been out of the office since Wednesday morning and i just. Everyone else in the bullpen probably thinks im awful or incompetent or both and they LOVE this girl.....its so unbearable.....she only has like 5 more days in our unit before leaving but i d ek how to proceed. I had SUCH a good record before all this even though i am a bit of a gossip i must admit....it feels like I have to leave now too shes just poisoned the well....and i know its mainly a personality clash but it doesnt help that im the only poc in the unit either :( :( like should i go in and pretend nothing happened?? Should i just ignore the atmosphere?? What if i pretend to have a covid exposure JK OBVIOUSLY NOT

I would do the best you can and just try to not address anything and focus on work. Be cordial but non-committal and focus on getting through the next couple of days.

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amor-immortalem · 3 years

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An Alternate Path

Genre: Angst

A/N: Originally this was supposed to be a two-part mini fic but people asked about a part three. I wasn’t sure where else to exactly go from there since the end of the second part felt so final for me. But then, inspired by a comment on the 2nd part, I began to think about how it would have gone if Arella hadn’t been revived with Mammon’s blood. Think of this as the bad end to the AU. This is the final part.

obviously spoilers for the lesson 16 incident and for lesson 50 (i think… correct me if Im wrong)

Replaced part 1

The Good/True End

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He sits in his room starting at the dried blood on his hands, heart aching from the loss of his mate. It had only been mere hours since Barbatos had taken her body to prepare for funeral rites but to the Avatar of Greed, it had felt like centuries. Why? He’s asked himself this question over and over. Why didn’t you check on her sooner? Why didn’t you call or text? Why didn’t you notice? Why didn’t you feel something was wrong through your pact?

As much as he wants to, Mammon has no more tears left to cry. His human is gone, never to return and it was the fault of him and his brother. He should have been there sooner. Should have reminded her how much he cared. Should have done a lot of things. He had every opportunity to, but he squandered all of it.

He rakes his hands through his hair as they whys replay in his head. The demon doesn’t have an answer for them- none that would satisfy them, at least. He lets out a yell as grief turns to rage and nothing of value is spared from his violence. Items and trinkets knock from their shelves, furniture overturned, by time the second-born was done, his room looked like a war zone.

It’s only then that Mammon collapses to his knees and lets out a broken wail as he can hear the restless cawing of his crows outside.

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Levi is alone in his room, having shut himself away hours ago. Laying in his bathtub bed, the Avatar of Envy loses himself to his thoughts and the view of the water above him. He can’t help but think about what would have happened if he had put his foot down when Asmo approached him to recruit him in helping his little matchmaking plan for Melissa and Satan.

And then his thoughts focus in on the other human. If she had never come, if they had never welcomed her into their lives through the exchange programme... Arella would still be alive. She’d still be sitting here, playing video games and helping him decide which anime he should choose to watch when there was a conflict of time slots. They’d still be talking about their Husbandos and Waifus just as they always had. But she’s not here. She never will be anymore. All because he didn’t have the spine to act like the older brother and tell Asmo no. Because he allowed his younger brother to monopolize his time.

His best friend is gone and he was part of the problem that led up to that. Levi has never felt so much self-hatred before and, just like with Lilith, he doesn’t know how to come to terms with the loss of another person so dear to him. For now, he’ll just lay here and waste away like the filthy, yucky otaku he is, wishing there was a way he could go back and undo it all or hoping that this was all just some horrible nightmare that his brain has conjured up.

“She’ll be back in the morning... right? She’s just sleeping over at the castle, right?!”

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Beel just eats. He eats and eats and eats to make the pain go away but just like his endless hunger, the pain never stops. He feels so empty inside that the only other option is to gorge himself until he physically can’t hold it anymore and vomits before he goes back for more until the cycle repeats and he runs out of food. The loss of their favorite human is killing him now- the grief of it squeezing his heart like an anaconda.

If he would have just gone to invite her to that new café she had wanted to visit with him only an hour sooner, this could have been stopped. But he didn’t. He didn’t and that’s what cuts deepest. He should have noticed when she stopped coming to dinner, or skipping breakfast, or not joining the student council for lunch day after day. He should have realized something was wrong then. But he chose to ignore it, thinking it was just one of those ‘moods’ Arella had told him about human women experiencing at certain times of the month. He thought he was helping by giving her space these last few weeks but Beel knows now that he was dead wrong.

Who would be his food buddy now? Who would let him drag them all over town in order to try out restaurant after restaurant, café and café? Sure, he had Belphie to take with him but his younger twin never really showed the same excitement when it came to trying out all the different food and drink options on the menu. The demon doesn’t realize he’s crying until the tear drops hit his hands. She only needed one of them to take a moment to see her and none of them could be bothered do just that.

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Belphegor only wants to sleep. He wants to sleep and never wake up again. In his dreams is where Arella is, happy, smiling, laughing. That laugh will haunt his waking moments forever as he realizes that for the second time, the Avatar of Sloth has caused her death. Belphie was only one of two brothers who rejected Asmo when they asked him to help with that damn plan of his. It had been too long since he and Arella had napped together after school or plotted something with Satan as part of the Anti-Lucifer league. How he missed those days.

He can feel the tears pool in his eyes as he curls up into a ball on the bed in the attic. He wonders if he had just stayed up here forever instead of trying to trick Arella into setting him free, would this hole in his chest disappear? As he buries his face into the body pillow Arella had gifted him for his birthday this year, he cries himself to sleep- indulges himself in all the good memories they had made together after she had forgiven him for everything he had done to her.

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Asmodeus is lost. They stare and stare at their skincare products trying to will themself to start their nightly skincare routine. How could they have been so foolish? The passage of time is so different to humans than it is to demons. They had only meant to take a month to match Satan and Melissa up so how had it turned to eleven already?! The Avatar of Lust wants to scream. Both at themself and no one at all. Hot tears still sting their eyes as they shapeshift. They change and they change and they change forms- any number of features forming and then shifting away as they try to find a look that they won’t recognize themself in but it doesn’t work. Asmo’s not able to look themself in the mirror for the rest of the night as they just crash down on their bed. They want to mark up their beautiful body into some hideous to match the feelings crushing their heart. Asmo wants to do something- anything- to themself to experience even a fraction of the pain Arella must have felt but all the demon feels now is just hollowness.

Their phone is vibrating on the bed next to them- a call from Solomon. No doubt he could feel Asmo’s distress through the pact they share but the Avatar of Lust is too tired from hours of ugly crying and most certainly not in the mood to speak to anyone- pact master or otherwise. The phone goes unanswered.

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Satan has his head buried in the books. He’s been at this for hours- there must be a way to bring her back to them! Melissa is with him, bringing whatever books he asks for in his search as she too is eager to bring the lost human back to this plane of existence. There was so much they wanted to do with her. From watching cheesy mystery dramas together to forming a small book club consisting of just the three of them, none of that would come to pass now.

As book after book turns up dead ends, the demon just buries his head in his hands. It feels pointless now. Who was he to play God with life and death? The thought of never seeing his friend alive once more is enough to break the Avatar of Wrath as his shoulders shake with violent sobs. He wants to go on a rampage- destroy the whole city but what would that fix? It certainly wouldn’t bring her back.

As the demon continues to cry, Melissa only wraps her arms around him and he returns the gesture. She runs her fingers through his blonde hair in an effort to calm him and it seems to work, if only for a little while. She pulls a chair up to sit next to him as she holds his hand in hers.

“Tell me about your favorite memories with her,” They girl begins, “We can’t undo what was done, but we can keep her memory alive by sharing the good times.”

And so, they talk late into the night, Satan smiling at all the memories of Arella that he holds close to his heart.

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“Hi this is Arella! I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message after the beep.... Beeeeeeeeeep”

The sound of his brother’s laughter followed by Mammon calling Arella a dork in the background can be heard at the end of the greeting on her D.D.D.’s voicemail. The Avatar of Pride can only smile with tear-stained cheeks. He was beyond intoxicated, having just finished his fourth bottle of demonus for the night. He can feel the anguish his brothers have been going through all night and it only makes his sorrow deeper.

When Arella first arrived, all Lucifer cared about was keeping her alive long enough to make it through the year. She was unimportant to him outside of the viability of the exchange programme. Back then, he would have laughed at himself for the state he was in currently. She was just a human. Why did it matter if she lived or died if it didn’t affect the exchange programme?

But she wasn’t just a human. She was their human. She was special to him. And now she was gone. There was no second chance. There would be no merging of timelines to keep her alive. Fate was cruel, but sometimes Diavolo could be crueler.

Lucifer knew his longtime friend had a reason for this. He was teaching the brothers a lesson with her death. As much as it hurt now to lose another part of this family, things would get easier as the years went on regardless of how horribly they all would miss her. This was a lesson he and his brothers would not soon forget.

Cracking open his fifth bottle of demonus, the first-born scrolls through devilgram, saving pictures on her profile to be used in the memorial service. One of Arella with each of his brothers and himself and multiple pictures she’d taken with all eight of them from their adventures throughout the years that they’d all been together.

He lets his mind wander back over the last eleven months. All the red flags he had missed with his rose-colored glasses. They all made sense to him now. All the time she spent isolating herself from them, skipping meals, leaving either incredibly early for school or incredibly late for school. She was trying to get them to notice her over Melissa. He regrets their last interaction from a few months back. The way there had clearly been something wrong, yet he chose to lecture her about attending RAD on time as to not disgrace Diavolo. How he wishes he could take it back.

As the only brother save for Belphegor not conscripted to help Asmo in his ridiculous plan, Lucifer should have been the first to reach out to her. He may have been buried under paperwork, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t just sit and talk while he worked. He regrets not calling or checking up on her.

A video plays on her devilgram. It was from one of the nights they had spent up in the human world last summer.

“Awww, come one, Lucifer. It won’t be that bad. We’ll have those flowers from the fairy rings and make it back in one piece. I promise to keep Mammon under control so we won’t cause any trouble.”

The Avatar of Pride clicks out of the app as he feels more tears gather in his eyes. He can’t do this right now. Not tonight.

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Her service was beautiful- Or at least that’s what Lucifer tells Mammon as he and the rest of their brothers return home. Mammon wanted to go, he really did, but with it only being a few days removed from her death, the second-born couldn’t bring himself to go. It wasn’t because he didn’t love her or didn’t want to celebrate his mate’s life but it was still far too painful for him.

Part of him was still in denial over it too. Somehow, he’d managed to convince himself that she wasn’t gone. She was just stuck up in the human world and had forgotten her D.D.D here so he couldn’t call her. The logical side of him knew it wasn’t the case and every time he was reminded of it, it threw the Avatar of Greed into a deeper pit of despair. He’d spent some nights since she’d passed alone, crying himself to sleep begging for his human to come back to him others he would just lie awake, tracing over where her mark from their pact had been etched into his chest, set right over his heart.

Suddenly years have gone by now. His brothers have made peace with her passing but Mammon cannot. Visiting her grave never helps to ease the pain either, but still he goes. If Arella’s spirit still lingers, no doubt she would be upset if he didn’t go. It would only serve to prove her dying thoughts true when they couldn’t have been further from the truth.

“Hey, Treasure... Miss me?” There’s no one here but Mammon and a tombstone. “I miss you... everyday... So much changes every year... Both Asmo, Levi, ‘n Satan got kids now... little girls for them and Levi has a boy...” He pauses to take a shuddering breath as the cold wind blows. “Can ya believe it? The first kids born ta this family and their both girls and then we got a boy... sweet little things too- alla ‘em. I wish ya coulda been there ta meet them... Actually, looking at my brothers with their kids, it makes me wonder what ours woulda been like, ya know? And I wish none of this woulda happened... you deserved so much better than me ‘n I knew that. We all knew that. But ya chose me anyway and look where it got ya... Six feet under... If I could go back and do it all over again I would. I woulda told ya what was goin’ on. I woulda spent more time with ya. I woulda... woulda proposed... made sure you knew how much I loved ya everyday... I know ya probably can’t hear me, but I’m so sorry... for everything! I love you so much that I can’t move on and I won’t. If I die single then that’s fine by me.”

As he cries, thinking he’s alone, Arella watches from her seat on her tombstone. None of the brothers knew it but she’d been watching all this time. It wasn’t until she passed that she realized how deep their feelings ran and part of her wishes she would have waited just a bit longer before leaving for the human world that night.

She tries her best to let them know she’s there- that she loves them and is watching over them with Lilith, but she’s not strong enough to do more than move small objects around. She hopes that they’d notice but they never do.

As she hops off of her tombstone, Arella crouches down next to her mate. The best she can do for him is conjure a warm breeze as her spirit leans over to press a kiss that he’ll never feel to his cheek. Upon the breeze, he can hear a soft whisper of a reply.

“I love you too.”

And it's that reply that reassures him she’s there and she always will be. He hopes maybe in another life they’ll meet again and get to have the happy ending they never got to have in this one.

------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @gayassfuckinghomosexual @joyvlee

find more on my masterlist

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dragynkeep · 2 years

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I did notice that colors were slowly being drained from Rwby. A show where Ozpin gave a speech about colors and individuality and a whole ass war of colors. Like. It looked like they were tying up fairy tale characters and expression as the maim theme at first but went off the rails and stuff. A uniting humanity is good, but its just. What's the main message? Whats being conveyed? Why are you failing at fun character designs? I only like oscars because when he first appeared it makes him stand out. Which he should if he's gonna be Ozcar eventually. Like I just think it can fit. But they added more and more dull tones. There was also still much up in the air at first about the Ozmosis. Like will Oscars hair turn white? So on. Im bad at conveying what I want to say because RWBY just makes me feel a level of frustration. It use to be so much fun but now I'm like. Disappointed. The character designs use to be fun and fights use to be fun. It wasnt the best writing but thing is writing is suppose to improve with time and practice and more experienced writers joining. It just... Got worse. They couldn't even handle writing Ozpins battered housewife syndrome right or maybe its just the fandom being stubborn.(I still stand by that Ozpin was abused by Salem. But some fans still go he was bad??? Like no??? He was running away and got killed for it???)

Its just too much wasted time and opportunity they let go to waste. So in short words shut up Crwby and hire me and Ironpines team and others. Ive seen better takes completely on this blog than the Crwby.

no i totally get what you mean. really nothing showed just how bad they’re handling the colour aspect than not only with rwbyjnr’s latest outfits, but also the secondary characters introduced. the ace ops are all in the same colours & the colours assigned to them in the show opening make no goddamn sense.

clover’s is the only one that makes a lick of sense, with maybe elm if you take the green of a tree, but realistically brown would be the more appropriate colour. but like,

why is vine yellow, anti asian racist joke aside lmao? vines are green.

why is harriet red when nothing about her allusion or her colours from her names even allude to red; which harriet bringing to mind brown due to hare & bree also bringing brown or yellow if you think of the cheese.

why is marrow a turqoise-y blue when nothing about him reads blue except his eye colour; red would’ve made more sense for him considering his name & bone marrow being a maroon-y red colour.

but the ace ops weren’t even the only victim of this, just look at the goddamn happy huntresses.

none of these colours are interesting, they’re all stuck in the same muddy, muted ugly colours that don’t even represent them well.

may is supposed to be like a marigold which is bright gold yellow & orange. why are we stuck with this weird blue grey alongside a shit yellow that’s almost brown & a muted orange?

robyn is supposed to be robin hood, aka in a lot of green but you wouldn’t be able to tell that considering her hood is a fucking light shit yellow green & she has five different colours on her.

again joanna is supposed to be green but it seems only relegated to her hair & the weird stripe across her nose while the red of her is stuck in a muted, muddy purple red.

fiona is the only one i think works well in colour alone considering thyme is a green herb & it works well with the white from her sheep faunus nature but being stuck in the same overcomplicated, boring outfit as the red of the happy huntresses just drags her down.

these two absolutely aren’t the only ones to suffer from bad colour application, much like rwbyjnr, but they’re definitely some of the worst contenders for it. it really feels like that part of rwby doesn’t even matter anymore, considering you either have to make some serious reaches for the colour naming rule in recent characters or their last name is literally just the colour. the books just have a character called green. fucking green. it’s pure laziness at this point.

much like you, i’ve seen not only a ton of fans have some really fantastic redesigns, but that have implemented the colour well & known how to use it without making disgusting eye sores.

i definitely don’t know what to expect for the outfit redesigns in v9 / v10, but i doubt they’re going to be much better than what we got considering it feels like mkek, ein lee & erin winn are devoted to picking the worst outfits & sucking all of the colour out of a show defined by colour. it’s sad.

#zombi-vomit #rwby #rwde #ace ops #clover ebi #elm ederne #vine zeki #marrow amin #harriet bree #happy huntresses #robyn hill #may marigold #joanna greenleaf #fiona thyme #jnr #owl.txt #answered #q

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backtoyuta · 3 years

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NCT 127: How they would be as coworkers in a shitty office

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❁ [Taeil] King of the welcome wagon; If it was your first day working in a small dinky business, Taeil will make it his sole responsibility to make the environment as inviting as possible. After all, the business wasn't some glamorous well known company, nor was it an exciting new start up, so Taeil made it his mission to paint the office as pretty as he could before you could decide if the job was too boring to keep. If you ask any of his co-workers they'll tell you nobody put him in charge of welcoming the newbie, but it seemed everybody but you noticed him do a double take at the receptionist's desk where you waited to be shown around. Soft moments included him making you a coffee every time he left to make his own, making a point of clearing a little space in the communal fridge for your lunch and hanging around while trying to maintain a respectful distance in case you had any queries so he could be the first to answer them. If you were low-key dreading your first day, you kinda forget about the nerves quickly because of his kindness and tells you cheerfully "See, we don't bite." Will make sure you have everything you need, down to the last sticky note and ball point pen, and smiles bashfully at you when you go to thank him.

❁ [Johnny] cheesy office romance; It was quite impressive really, the fact that Johnny managed to unlock every single office romance cliche you could think of and he wasn't subtle about it either. Though there was no policy really about dating co-workers, the whole situation was a tiny bit embarrassing given the blatant flirting from the titan walking around in his shirt and tie, always throwing devilish smiles from over the photocopier. Even if his desk was miles away from yours, there would always be an excuse to stroll by your work space to drop off some paperwork personally, or remind you of the meeting happening in the afternoon despite the email reminder going around. Johnny really put his bladder through it since he now took too frequent trips to the water cooler that was so conveniently placed next to your desk. The whole office gagged when you finally agreed to go for drinks after work. The hours were spent buying each other pints and admiring him with his tie loosened and shirt sleeves rolled up, revealing the delicate tattoos that decorated the skin there before calling it a night and letting him kiss you on your porch after walking you home. You kind of became the height of office gossip, which Johnny thrived in, but you couldn't really be mad when you were dating that tall glass of water after all.

❁ [Taeyong] The receptionist with first aid training; Stapling your finger was embarrassing enough, imagine the heat flooding your cheeks when the receptionist appears at your desk clutching the first aid kit, big kind eyes glancing at your finger empathetically. Taeyong was the first face you saw when you walked through the door, that alone making a wonderful first impression, also he was a very diligent worker. He never made a fuss when you asked him to fax something, make a memo or photocopy, and when you had to ring the office because you left your keycard and needed to be let in, he laughed that off with you too while assuring that it happened all the time. On the blasted day you aimed the stapler at your paper but instead caught your finger, Taeyong was the first to perk from behind his desk at your exclamation of "Ow!" and was by your side before you knew it. He apologised profusely at the sting of an anti-bacterial wipe and wrapped your finger gingerly in a plaster, his chair scooted towards you and your knees bumping occasionally. You were pretty sure every female in the office was crushing on him and you were one of many, but you couldn't help the blush when you received a private IM chat asking if you wanted to get coffee after work: "Date? :)" he wrote at the end of the message. You wasted no time typing on your computer a reply, sneaking a glance at his face from behind the desk and exchanging a smile before looking busy once again.

❁ [Yuta] The guy that lowkey terrified you; Yuta was the co-worker that, whether it was on purpose or not, pushed you away with sheer intimidation and sinfully good looks. When you first encountered him in the office you were sure he was a model undercover, and when that was debunked you were sure he must have had a much higher level and higher paying job than you. His presence read corporate, the cologne you sometimes caught a whiff of smelt expensive and you could easily picture him in a big leather chair in a tall glass building barking orders at people. What surprised you was behind the intimidating aura, lay the humility of any of your other co-workers. All it took was one painfully awkward conversation in the break room and with the power of pointless small talk you learnt that his weekend plans didn't involve a modelling side hustle like you expected, but rather being a homebody, watching animated movies and cooking dinner for one instead. When you did finally enter an established relationship with him, expect impulsive moments like being tugged into the copier room so he can press his lips to yours and run his hands through your hair, or intense staring contests when other male co-workers demanded your attention. Overall, he was terrifying, but his redeemable qualities involved making dates after work so you had something to look forward to, buying your favourite cake during office parties and volunteering to do overtime with you so you would always be entertained.

❁ [Doyoung] The manager that scares you shitless; For the position of local branch manager, Doyoung exuded way more power and intimidation than what was probably warranted. Maybe that was why he managed to get the branch performing so well, everybody dreaded being called into his office for "friendly chitchat" after making a small mistake. When you first arrived, you steered as clear from him as possible, only venturing near his office when absolutely needed. What you didn't see was the way he would watch you intently in your little office nook, always appreciating how hard you worked and how cute you looked in your office get-up. You often squirmed at the amount of eye-contact he gave you when he ran meetings and you would glance around to see if anyone else was experiencing the same thing. Nope, just you. When he did call you into his office that one time you were quaking in your shoes. You had already convinced yourself you were fired before you had even reached his office door, but the feeling was replaced soon enough with confusion when he did eventually speak to you. "I just wanted to ask... would you be interested in.... this corporate training program?" He rushed. My god, your boss was just as awkward as the next bumbling guy. It would be a while before he asked you on an official date, dinner for two, also quite a bit of paperwork to fill out with HR, but you would come to realise his icy exterior wasn't all that icy when he wasn't in work-mode.

❁ [Jaehyun] The temp that never left; Jaehyun was fresh from university, now venturing into the world of work but still had the boyish aura that set him apart from the rest of the men in the office. From the way he spoke to you over lunch in the break room you could tell he was full of ambition, but also didn't seem to be in any rush to leave this job any time soon. Jaehyun was the guy who you initially tried not to get too close to, since you were under the impression that he would be leaving after completing the temporary placement and when he left it would hurt like a bitch. However, you could have sworn his placement ended like a month ago, but eventually you learnt that he somehow managed to talk himself into a full-time position. "Oh that, yeah, I guess I just realised I had more reasons to stay." He shrugged as casually as he could when you asked about it. You couldn't deny that you were happy, not when you saw his smiling face in the conference room saving you a seat, hearing his outrageous stories from uni and always being the two to get a little too drunk at corporate parties and being sent home in a taxi of shame. Romance blossomed when you remembered that one drunken kiss in the backseat and you both bonded when your boss gave you the cold shoulder after arriving to work a little more than dishevelled and with a hangover.

❁ [Jungwoo] Desk buddy; Honestly, who could hate their job when they had a sweet Jungwoo sitting at the desk adjacent to theirs. You kinda scored when your boss appointed you this specific desk because Jungwoo took to you almost embarrassingly quick. It made your heart swell looking at all the little knick knacks on his desk; toys to fiddle with and colourful sticky notes, this was just one part of his persona. You were a little shocked when he offered you a cigarette during the lunch break, kind of exposing a duality you didn't know existed, but nobody could be that wholesome of a person. Monday to Friday 9-5 was filled with Jungwoo ping-ponging back and forth between these traits, any off handed comments he would mutter to you when the boss was giving an announcement or the conversations you would overhear him having with a friend over the phone would remind you he wasn't a total puppy of a human being. However, the way he always offered to share a snack and would flick paper and notes at you playfully was also very much him being himself. You always fluttered a little at the smirk he would throw your way when your manager was talking something boring or ridiculous, it seemed those smirks were only reserved for you. It didn't take long before he became your best friend in the office, if he wasn't in that day you were in the right mind to just call it quits yourself (and vice versa), he was the guy that made the long hours that much more bearable.

❁ [Mark] The bumbling intern; When it came to responsibilities in the work place, you tried to delegate as little of that as possible to Mark the intern. It was cute really, the guy put in 110% effort into his tasks and yet when it came to coffee orders, photocopying or sending out a memo, something nearly always went wrong. You couldn't help but admire his enthusiasm, also that he made an effort to know everybody in the office, including the cleaners. Mark was one of the first people to greet you when you joined, waving around a little notebook of Starbucks orders and a company card to splurge, urging you to write down whatever you wanted. A simple task right? Rookie mistake. Bless him, you would never tell him how his mistake of getting full dairy rather than the soy you requested led to a night on and off the toilet, but that just scratched the surface of his office blunders. Somehow, he never cost the company too much, but there was a reason why the poor boy never got promoted beyond intern. He wasn't deterred though, he'd lean up against your desk while you made idle chit chat and he'd tell you that he liked his job and he didn't aspire to be the best in this business. Where he really proved himself was during company functions, you'll never forget during the annual employee bbq when he asked you your favourite song so he could sing it melodically accompanied skilfully with a guitar. Mark's contributions to the work place were always a little unpredictable, but he kept things interesting and people, including you, genuinely enjoyed having him around.

❁ [Haechan] Probably the reason you get fired; Even in the workplace, Haechan can't deny himself a bit of mischief. He made a stellar first impression by rocking up half an hour late, sending your boss a half arsed apology and plonking down at the desk across the room from yours. To be honest, he kind of annoyed you at first, his attitude came off immature and you didn't appreciate how distracting he was when you had work to do. However, things started to change at some point. Haechan was the guy that convinced you to ditch the office party and sit on the rooftop with him to watch the city lights, the guy that sent out ridiculous memos just to catch you smile and the guy eventually became the reason for you own demise after he started picking you up for breakfast most mornings. When the manager called you in his office after being late the third time in a row, you ducked your head and mumbled something about traffic while hiding a croissant wrapper in your pocket, Haechan covered a laugh with a cough and apologised on behalf of both of you. When you asked him about why he never seemed to give a shit about anything, you learnt that it was because he had a taste for adventure; "Don't tell me you wanna stay and work here forever? Don't you wanna do something more... exciting with your life?" He asked you incredulously, like the answer was obvious. He kinda got you, no, you didn't want to work in a dingy office for the rest of you life. To be honest, when he painted a picture of moving to a big city, or taking a road trip, or just fucking off to the suburbs you didn't hate the sound of that either. When you were both sat there in your manager's office, signing off on a severance package, you weren't even mad. You didn't have time to be, Haechan was already clasping your hand and leading you to his car and laughing about finally being free, tugging his tie from around his neck whilst driving no where in particular- the start of an adventure.

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honoredbastard · 3 years

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I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.

anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.

MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.

now onto the actual topic:

kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).

for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.

sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?

did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?

because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.

because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.

we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.

my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.

he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.

help people. save them.

itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.

at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )

but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )

this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.

we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.

take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.

TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT

kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )

i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.

this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.

continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.

so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.

so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.

i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.

being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.

gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.

the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.

thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.

the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.

A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.

B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.

this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!

^ this is for pure humor

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lilyclawthorne · 3 years

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Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

#toh #the owl house #owl house #keeping up afearances #keeping up a-fear-ances

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cassyapper · 3 years

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kakyoin makes me go so fucking feral because his whole arc or at least one part of it is about how to attach to others and then how to attach to others HEALTHILY okay. okay. god okay hold on let me get into it

i need you all to understand how damaging it is to grow up lonely. when youre a kid, that’s when youre learning the most in your life and one of the things your brain is generally wired to pick up the most on is SOCIAL ETTIQUITE. but kakyoin didnt get that because he could not for the fucking life of him interact meaningfully with his peers

it’s not your typical loneliness because they said canonically in his flashback “[he’s not lonely] because the other kids dislike him, he just can’t reach out/let them in” or something to that effect. which frankly makes this even worse because it becomes all the more subtler, the things he misses, the experiences he misses out on. he learns how to be polite and but not how to make friends. do you understand what i mean by this. kakyoin can be approachable but he cant be befriended DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HURTS? kakyoin MADE himself lonely because the alternative was fake and plastic relationships he couldnt truly invest himself in bc no one could see hierophant green and he couldnt deal with that pain. he picked his poison when he shouldnt have ever had to

but then he meets someone who CAN see stands but it’s fucking DIO OF ALL PEOPLE. dio who holds him under his thumb, dio who forces him to kill people he doesnt want to, dio who forces him against his moral compass which, scene-after-scene, is shown to be very central to kakyoin’s character, dio who makes him a subordinate when the FIRST SENTENCE IN KAKYOIN’S CHARACTER BIO STATES EXPLICITLY HOW MIUCH HE HATES SUBMITTING TO OTHERS. dio is worse than the loneliness kakyoin constructed for himself because he takes everything kakyoin is and fucking bends it. and who knows what he broke as a result of that bending. he took what little kakyoin DID learn regarding relationships as a kid and warped it

but then kakyoin meets more people who can see stands. he meets jotaro who saves him for no reason other than the goodness of his heart. he meets joseph who accepts him wholeheartedly even after he tried to kill his grandson. he meets avdol who sympathizes with him explains that even he, someone more experienced with stands and social etiquette, only just dodged falling under dio’s control, thus letting kakyoin shrug at least a LITTLE of the shame and guilt of letting dio get to him off his shoulders. he meets polnareff who fell for the same trap of dio, it was just presented differently, thus letting him shrug off a little MORE shame/guilt. obviously he doesnt get rid of all of it but at least he can be certain at some point that he’s not dead weight to the crusaders, that he has a fighting chance to be useful. he meets iggy who demonstrates you can have relationships even while being distant which gives him hope for these dynamics

kakyion gets a second chance and he fucking clings to it. he doesnt want to go back to the loneliness he CERTAINLY doesnt want to go back to dio he needs this to work he’ll do anything to make it work. he so clearly doesnt know how to act around the crusaders at first he’s just so violently and rapidly switching from outright cruelty to overt friendliness cause he just doesnt know what role they WANT from him. cause dio wanted a role from him and he doesnt know how else meaningful relationships are supposed to work because he never HAD ONE BEFORE. but then the weeks wear on and he gets closer with them and he realizes they dont want him to perform anything they just want him. all of him. hierophant green, awkward and spontaneous social etiquette, prideful, stubborn, smart, fiercely loving KAKYOIN. no one else. nothing else. just him.

and this means so much to kakyoin that he is willing to die for it at 17. he shouldnt have HAD TO, the end to his story is so anti-climatic and counterproductive, but im not gonna rant about the writing right now i just need everyone to understand the crusaders meant everything to kakyoin, kakyoin canonically describes the times he had with them as HEAVENLY (goodbye nostalgia), the euphoria and relief and utter delight and joy kakyoin felt with them was unparalleled to anything else he EVER experienced in his life, and he loved them he loved them so fiercely he would die for them but he should have learned how to live for them. he should have gotten that opportunity

god he just loved and believed in them so much and the only thing he ever wants at the end of his life is to give them a fighting chance. everything he fuckign did was out of love for the crusaders. he wanted to have the chance to make them at least a fraction as happy as they made him. he would do anything for them and he did and it fucks me up so bad it fucks me up so so fucking bad

#help. help help help help help help help #cass cries #jjba

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cathademia · 2 years

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Hi! I wanted to ask this on anon because I already know kind of what the "correct" answer is but im wondering what other Catholics opinions on this is. Essentially I'm living in a controlling/manipulative household that has security cameras posted around the house for... anti theft? In a neighborhood (upper middle class) where that genuinely isn't an issue.

The other members of my household were gone on a vacation and I had my boyfriend spend the night (gosh shock ah, this is not the part that I want to hear preaching about). He has to leave quite early in the morning (430a) for work so he did. This was seen on the security camera and apparently woke up my mother who is roughly 5 states away right now. In which she started yelling at me through text about it and how he better not have been in my room. Now, I understand that's a scandal, but the issue is, my name is also on the deed to the house and I'm also an adult.

This event is kind of the "last straw" in my eyes, because anytime I go ANYWHERE she looks at the camera and calls or texts me to find out where I'm going, even when I'm just going to work or church, which she knows the times I leave for that....

My overall question, is whether it is right to move in with my boyfriend just to be able to cut those controlling ties to my mother. I've been wanting to move out for awhile now but I dont have female friends in the area and can't afford it on my own. I know the "right" answer is probably no, but given my situation and the knowledge that we are going to be getting engaged (he has it all planned out and when he is going to do it, but it's going to be a surprise) I feel comfortable with the idea of it for the first time in my life. The other option I thought I'd bring up with him to make it more "palatable" would be to get civilly married but to essentially still live our social lives as if we were boyfriend/girlfriend [ie not laying together in bed] until we got religiously married.

Any advice you have would be great or if you just want to post this and let other people respond that would be great, thank you and God bless.

Answer is probably no, especially considering that you’ve had this guy spend the night so we know that sexual temptation is at least somewhat of an issue in play. (Unless he literally just slept in your bed— full disclosure I’ve actually done that before because of “one bed not safe to drive” trope. I’m not like a perfect saint in that regard even if I’m a virgin.) But here’s the mental calculus I would do:

Notes on your mom:

1. As someone whose parents actually been robbed before and who has experienced petty theft personally, it can happen to anyone in any neighborhood at any time. Unless your neighborhood literally has a gate and armed security, I’m actually with your mom on this one. I would just have a gun instead of cameras, but I don’t think she’s crazy or controlling for having cameras. I think she’s controlling because she checks them all the time

2. I also agree with her yelling at you via text. Like, you very much breached her trust and broke house rules. I’m assuming she lets you live there rent free? Rent-payer determines rules.

3. Her asking for your whereabouts when you, an adult, leave the house is unacceptable. There’s a difference between house rules and rules that control a person. I don’t care how free that house is, she’s wrong for this

One thing that confuses me:

How are you on the deed of a house while being broke? Why was this decision made? I can’t imagine the circumstances that would cause my parents to add me, their child, to the deed of their house. I’m trying not to be judgmental here but I’m just flabbergasted

Options moving forward:

1. Have you asked your mom point blank “what would I need to do for your to trust me again?” And like pushed her to get an answer? She will probably go off on a rant about all the stuff you did etc but you’d need to respond with “I understand that. What behavior would you need to see from me and for how long to trust me to leave the house?” I lost my parents’ trust in highschool, I asked that, and over about 2 years I earned that trust back.

2. Have you discussed this with other members of the household? Is there a dad at home? When My mom was going overboard, usually he would step in if I asked.

3. Can you qualify for section 8 housing? You may actually be able to afford that since it’s subsidized. Have you tried to look into it?

4. Can you contact a free legal aid group in your area to basically have your mom buy you out or do some kind of arbitration that gives you cash, considering that you’re fine with burning bridges with your mom and you’re legally entitled to your share of the home?

5. Basically after you’ve exhausted all other options I’d talk to a priest about the possibility of living “like brother and sister” because of a controlling environment at home. He may have more ideas than I will and he will know canon law better than I do. I think it’s actually pretty telling that you’re asking a stranger on the internet instead of your priest— almost like you don’t want the strict doctrinal answer but you still want to feel like you’re not in the wrong. And no shade for that, seriously, we’ve all been there. I’ve definitely done that before. But also it’s important to notice when you’re doing that

Now personally, I don’t think it’s a sin to live with a boy in an emergency. I do think it’s a sin to live with a boy when he’s just your favorite option of many. But I’m not God, I’m not the Church, and I’m not the best person to tell you whether your situation would be allowable or not. I think it’s probably not allowable at this time but I’d ask a priest if you want a really precise answer, especially because he knows your local resources better

#answer

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tepkunset · 4 years

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@avatarfandompolice is a blog that likes to misuse progressive language in attempt to make ignorant, racist posts sound more intelligent than they are. While most of their blog consists of arguing about ‘zutara,’ (which I recently learned is a ship name for Zuko and Katara from an anon), there is also a large number of posts and reblogs under the premise of being “hot takes” on how unfair it is to address racism in fandom and in media.

Avatarfandompolice is very sensitive about people pointing out that Avatar: The Last Airbender is not, in fact, flawless. That a show made by two white men featuring Asian and Indigenous characters and influences is fully capable of getting things wrong. That their western colonial views are influences all on their own, and it shows. Rather than listen to fans of colour point out things like these posts for example: [Link] [Link] [Link], avatarfandompolice has decided that such things must simply be fake, and has made multiple posts complaining it. This is not just regular ignorance, this is wilful ignorance. The dismissal of critique simply because they cannot fathom not everyone being able to handle the amount of issues they are freely educating others on, or people holding the ability to like something overall while also pointing out where it could be better.

It is my firm belief that you should never absorb media with an uncritical eye. If this was the case, if people just accepted everything given to them, then we would never see any progress. We need to be able to look back at something and say here’s what we did right, and here’s what we need to do better with.

The argument that A:TLA was made in 2012 and therefore should not be analyzed with a modern understanding of the world is downright hilarious, too. As if we aren’t taught to write literature analysis on books and plays that are centuries old in school. In particular regards to the whole cop thing... if anyone reading this seriously thinks that hate and fear of the police is just a 2020 trend, you can meet me in the pit. I was four years old when I learned how terrifying cops are. If your experiences differ, let me tell you that does not make them universal. And as for all the 20-somethings talking about it today, well, gentle reminder that as said by avatarfandompolice right here, the show aired in 2012. Little 10-year-old kids don’t have social media, (at least I hope they don’t,) and unless they grew up experiencing first-hand police terror, probably were not aware of it at that age. I do not know why avatarfandompolice insults people's ability to grow and learn. I can only guess it’s jealously from their lack of ability to do so.

Now let’s address their defences of whitewashing, which is easily the most backwards reaching I’ve seen on this issue in a while. Primarily their defence relies on four repetitive “points” —

Fake minuscule percentages to downplay the high prevalence and extremity of whitewashing in the fandom

Deflecting the addressing of whitewashing with rapid-fire fake scenarios and claims of “reverse racism” / “blackwashing”

Claiming whitewashing isn’t real because people only care about it with Katara

Claiming that calling out whitewashing in fandom is wrong because it hurts artists

I have only so much as dipped my toes into the A:TLA fandom, and even I have seen a lot of whitewashed fan art. If you do an image search for fan art, I guarantee within the first couple rows of results, there will be in the absolute least, a few examples. The idea of these artworks not substantially lightening skin is also just plain inaccurate. Just from a quick Google search, this is literally the first result for ‘Avatar The Last Airbender Katara fan art’:

Avatarfandompolice is also hyper-focused on the lightening of skin, and seems to be under the impression that this is the only component of whitewashing. I come to this conclusion because when someone pointed out the equal prevalence of depicting these characters of colour with Western European features instead of their actual eyes, noses, etc., they rip a giant turd out of their ass and scrawl the words “but stereotyping” over it. No, not all Asian peoples and Indigenous peoples look the same. The original poster made no such claim of this at all. Avatarfandompolice jumped to this conclusion all on their own... (which really says a lot in itself). It is entirely unrelated to the point. The point being the erasure of how these characters look, in favour of giving them whiter features. And guess what? This does hurt. But I’ll get to that below.

The lack of understanding of whitewashing is on full display when avatarfandompolice talks about “blackwashing”; the idea that colouring characters with darker skin is just like whitewashing. Firstly, there is no such thing as “blackwashing.” “Blackwashing,” “brownwashing,” etc. does not exist because it is a false equivalency to whitewashing. It is a false equivalency to whitewashing because white people are not even in the slightest loosing representation when a white character is re-imagined as a racial minority, whereas when racial minorities are re-imagined as white people, they are taking away from what is already very little representation for us. If we lived in a world where the statistics of representation were not so drastically disproportionate, then there would be something to talk about. But if you are really wanting to support equality, you should focus on equitably supporting those who actually need it, not white people. As for specifically depicting characters like Sokka and Katara with darker skin than what they have in the show, the same applies, (so long as it’s not racebending them as we really shouldn’t be taking representation away from each other, and the artist avatarfandompolice ridicules above has done no such thing,) because colourism also exists within nonwhite communities as well.

As for the fake questions about cosplaying, the answer is really simple: Cosplay however you want, but don’t make pretending to be a different race part of your cosplay. If you want to cosplay Katara, you can do it without painting your skin darker, aka brownface. If you want to cosplay Zuko, you can do it without editing yourself to look East Asian, aka digital yellowface. The racist history behind this is an internet search away, but I suppose that is too difficult for avatarfandompolice to do.

Avatarfandompolice has made multiple claims that people must not really care about whitewashing if they only call it out for Katara. It is laughable at best, and sad at worst, that this is the conclusion they come to, and not the fact that unfortunately Katara just happens to be subjected to more whitewashing than other characters. I assume this is from a mix of her popularity as well as being a WOC and not MOC. This is not to say that whitewashing does not exist with male characters—not in the slightest. Half the images on this “10 fan art pictures of Sokka that are just the best” list from CBR are whitewashed. Only that across fandoms, whitewashing is more prevalent in female characters, by my observations at least.

Finally—and this one pisses me off the most—avatarfandompolice claims that whitewashing is no big deal, but calling out whitewashing is too harmful to justify. How fucking dare you put the feelings of artists who can’t handle critique of their work (that they publicly share) over fans of colour, who are constantly subjected to seeing our identities and looks not being worth respecting. As if it doesn’t imprint on your mind from a very young age how only villains ever have your facial features, because they’re ugly and I guess that means you’re ugly. As if there is something wrong with you. As if respecting you is regarded as extra effort, and not just common courtesy.

Whitewashing is a form of colourism, which is a form of racism. It is the favouritism, unconscious or not, of white features and the erasure of visible characters of colour. It is not fandom drama. It is not being too lazy to focus on “real issues” because it is part of a real issue. It is yet another part of why fandom spaces are so uninviting to POC. We live in a society that favours lighter skin. Corporations make fortunes from selling products to bleach your skin, products to contour your features away or go as far as surgery, all to meet beauty standards set by and influenced by white colonizers. That does not exist in A:TLA, and that’s called refreshing escapism. But it’s hard to escape that when the fandom constantly reminds you otherwise. It is a perfect example of how the classic “just let people enjoy things” complaint is nothing but disguised racism, because it’s only ever said regarding white fans’ enjoyment, at the expense of fans of colour.

None of the characters in A:TLA are white. Redesigning them and recolouring them as if they are, be it out of accident or intent is wrong. If you get called out for it, apologize, learn from the experience and do better going forward. You’ll also improve your art this way.

Beyond excusing whitewashing, avatarfandompolice has overt racist posts as well. A Black fan said they like to headcanon Katara as being partially Black; “I swear Katara was a sister. Im convinced there ain't no way she didn't have some black in her.” Avatarfandompolice jumps in saying “She's literally an Inuit but ok” as if being an Inuk person means Katara can’t possibly also be Black. The OP never claimed Katara was not Indigenous, simply that they also saw her as Black. Black Indigenous peoples exist. Black Inuk peoples exist. It is overtly anti-Black to say otherwise. But what even is the point of talking to avatarfandompolice about that? You know, you would think in trying to put such a front up of caring about the Inuit, they would do the most basic learning of the proper grammatical use of Inuit and Inuk. (As is the case with a great many Indigenous Nations, Inuit is both the Nation and plural. Inuk is singular. “An Inuit” / “Inuits” as avatarfandompolice has used just makes their dressed-up racism all the more pathetic. It’s similar to as if you said “Chinas” instead of “Chinese”.)

But all this is nothing, nothing compared to the worst post I had the displeasure of seeing. In a single post, avatarfandompolice manages to squeeze in insult against low income people, Mexican people, Jewish people, and Black people in a mockery of financial help posts. Absolutely disgusting, childish behaviour from a place of privilege. As someone who has had no option but to make such a post before, more than once, let me fucking tell you that the embarrassment and desperation when in that situation is unparalleled. It is not done lightly. It is done when you are at the last resort of having nothing but hope that the combined generosity of others will be enough to save you and your family. And what adds a whole other level to the odiousness of avatarfandompolice’s post is that they specifically targeting low income minorities to boot. Because we’re all poor beggars, right?

All in all, for someone who prides themselves in calling others ignorant, avatarfandompolice has to be one of the most obtuse fandom blogs I have ever scrolled through. They are as vile as they are pathetic, and my sincere sympathy for anyone who has been unfortunate enough to interact with them. It has been a while since I so strongly recommend blocking someone.

#avatarfandompolice #atla #atla fandom #racism #whitewashing #long post #fit for a queue

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gemsofgreece · 3 years

Note

Hello! In January I asked you to elaborate on "this hate propaganda made young Greeks feel ashamed of their ethnicity etc" & 1st off thanks for answering both my questions it means a ton. What you described was basically me, only I didnt manage 2 leave & it got worse over time. I even wanted to get British nationality fml. Im still trying to grapple w' this. Im trying to understand how it happened. & to reconnect with my culture & deal with rising anger. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

(This is anon asking advice on how to deal with how hate propaganda made me feel ashamed of my country and being Greek) I figured I should send both asks in English since you make the efforts to educate non-Greeks about such issues. Μακάρι να μπορούσα να κάνω κι εγώ το ίδιο με ένα μπλογκ σαν κι αυτό αλλά δεν μπορώ αυτή τη φάση, ελπίζω πάντως να γίνει κάποια στιγμή

ASK END

Hello again and thanks for sticking by! 💙🤍

So, I am not sure I got this right but what I understood is that you planned to go to the UK but something went wrong and that made you even more vulnerable to internalise that anti-Greek sentiment once more and you try now to address this.

So, the first thing I am gonna say might seem a little harsh but it is the truth as I perceive it. I believe what you feel is intense and whatever I might suggest will likely not be but of temporary help. I believe the most helpful thing for you now would be to indeed visit / stay for a while in a different country. I don’t mean to scratch the wound or imply you need to do this right now - I only mean that by experiencing a foreign lifestyle or living in someplace else for a little while you will be able to for sure re-evaluate effectively the way you feel about being a Greek and living in Greece. I am saying this because I feel that you want badly to get out and as long as this need is not met, it is going to be twice as hard to suddenly see everything that troubles you under a positive light.

But this does not mean that you should despair over not getting the chance to leave just yet. In the meantime, the first thing I suggest you did is to accept the fact that you indeed have internalised this negative sentiment and not beat yourself up for it, because I sense that on the top of the national frustration you also feel frustration against yourself for feeling this way. Accept that you are vulnerable to this propaganda / negativity and try to address the reasons why you are vulnerable and also the reasons being a Greek living here can also be objectively difficult sometimes or for some people.

After you start trying to not blame yourself (or the propagandists because who cares about them) for the way you feel, the next thing is to understand you don’t owe anything to anybody. Do you believe that any person in this world owes anything to others as an individual because of their race, ethnicity, religion, ancestry, economy or state of their country? If not, then always repeat mentally that it works exactly the same for the Greeks just like for billions of other people. You are not responsible for the foreigners’ romanticised and often illogical expectations from Modern Greeks just like you are not responsible for ignorant, toxic or corrupted Greeks who exist because such people do exist and it’s largely irrelevant to ethnicity. If a foreigner ever directly tries to make you feel bad for being a Greek, don’t ever assume an apologetic stance and don’t take it to heart either. Take it the way you would take it in any other case not involving you: this person is simply a racist, and go on with your life.

The third step is that you should give a pat to yourself for fighting this internalised toxicity. The fact that you care this much to cleanse yourself from the propaganda shows that you are not as vulnerable to it after all. Some people I know would not even accept to listen to counterarguments. So, the desire to fight this shows that you will get there but like I said in the beginning you probably need some exposal abroad to achieve this more easily (not that it is impossible otherwise, it is just harder).

The last step for the time being would be to try to understand and analyse why things are the way they are specifically in the Greek society. Every society is a product of its people’s struggles, its mishappenings, its achievements and its external influences. No society is inherently or completely problematic/ bad. There are always reasons for what is happening. For instance, if some of your concerns is that the Greek society is more backwards or conservative than West Europe or that the Church is too powerful or that there is too much political corruption or that people are too polarised, there are reasons in historical truth, in our past that have led to how things are today. So, my suggestion is to read Greek history, with an emphasis on Byzantine and Modern era. I think this will help more than try to enjoy Greek culture, almost with a sense of obligation. This could be a side thing or leave it to come naturally in its own time, if it comes at all. Don’t push it. But when you read history, don’t have a judgemental stance. Don’t try to find who’s to blame - only what’s to blame or simply try to figure it out without condemnations at all. Understanding its reasons even if you don’t like something is the best way to come to terms with it and with your emotions about it.

Here I would like to note that when I say staying abroad for a while would help, I don’t mean that you will go there and suddenly “see the light” about why Greece is “better”. For all I know, you might find the new place and the society agreeing with you in particular more indeed. What I mean, however, is that it will introduce you to a more spherical way of thinking as well as the inescapably flawed nature of humanity regardless of ethnicities. And the distance could make you feel calm enough to re-assess everything in a more objective perspective.

I am sorry if you expected clear culture recommendations and I came up with this! I sincerely believe being cool and accepting about your feelings, trying to avoid judgemental thoughts and prioritising Greek history over culture would be the best steps to follow for the time being x

#greece #internalised negativity #anti-Greek propaganda #anti-Greek sentiment #anon #ask #mail

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