#this one person started insulting me and even went as far to dm me to harass me further over it like drawing wxson just killed their family | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yooniesim · 2 years

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tbh while I as a black simmer can appreciate you calling Mack out for the racist she is, it does feel like you’re doing it to keep the heat off of yourself by association? Reading your dm interactions, you gave her a lot of grace about her voting choice. you comforted her, actually. it wasn’t until another Simblr became public about Texas’ harassment that you started to turn the heat up on Mack. i remember seeing an anon ask, asking you why you hadn’t denounced her. you went on a spiel about voting choice and giving people chances to changed…this was less than two years ago. so why should the community trust you knowing that you were privately comforting a racist and only publicly condemned them when people sought your take? trust me I despise Sunny as much as anyone since she bullied me and my black summer friends out of dollhouse when she was running it. her own mods kicked her out because of this. but I also don’t believe in free passes for people trying to save face ie. YOU.

Anon, I definitely understand your perspective and why you feel that way. I've been transparent since the start about how I feel about Mack, I've never followed or publicly supported her. But I have said multiple times that I try to give people chances to change because I'm surrounded by people that have made similar choices and I, personally, would be miserable if I didn't have hope people could change. I grew up with half of my family openly calling me the N-word and not only being openly racist but homophobic towards me and others (I am mixed and the white part of my family tried to keep me away from my disabled black father and family when I was younger, for context). I've been a subject of this type of abuse since I was young. Some of these same people have changed and regretted their past actions, and some have not. In my workplace, many of my coworkers and patients have similar views. I would like to cut all of this out of my life, but I can't. I don't have the means financially or mentally to do that. And so I cope by trying to believe that they can change. If I didn't, I don't know how I would be able to manage. It's for the sake of my own mental health. In this online space, however, there is the option to cut people out, and while I lead with giving people a chance... if they show there's no actual change, then I have no choice but to accept that and take that opportunity off the table. As we see with Mack.

As far as taking the heat off of myself or trying to save face- no one would have even known how I talked to her had I not said it previously (in posts before this one) or linked the DMs myself. I really have nothing to hide, I've always been open about that perspective. I sympathized with her in my initial short DM conversation with her (out of a total of two) and shared my own trauma of being attacked by Trump's cult of personality. Being in that environment when you're surrounded by them and their abuse is terrifying. I personally experienced family members constantly threatening me to vote for Trump (and I mean threatening my housing, access to medications, standing at school and work, destroying or stealing my possessions, etc), mocking me daily for being "a stupid liberal" (and far worse insults), and even trying to steal and manipulate my mail-in ballot. It is extremely easy to be trapped, intimidated, and manipulated by those people. When Mack shared her story, I wanted to believe that she'd been subject to this and that she either didn't really have those views to start with or had changed. That was projection and naivity on my part. Admittedly, it also didn't register with me during that initial DM convo that she had voted for him twice, she didn't mention it specifically in that conversation and it was before I had gotten a chance to see all receipts in detail (she DM'd me immediately once I asked publicly for proof of her racism and we had that convo). If you check the DMs, I even mentioned to her in that same convo how my family members had voted for him twice even after seeing what he'd done after the first time and how terrible and hurtful that was for me, and that I was glad people like her had changed their opinions after voting once and seeing what he'd done after instead. Why would I say that if I knew she'd done the same thing as them? She, of course, didn't correct me and say she'd voted twice, but why would she? So at the time of the convo, that was how I was seeing it. But as we can see, I was very wrong.

Past that point, the more that I uncovered about Mack (the harassment, voting twice, and perspectives from her friends and other simmers in my inbox), the more I saw it was only the tip of the iceberg. I kept taking note of so I could make another post publicly. I answered an anon saying that this was the case, which I believe is the one you saw. That ask was after the short DM conversation in which I initially sympathized with her. Keep in mind this was all taking place in under 3 weeks time (including the paywall-gate explosion and my own personal life). And yet within those 3 or so weeks, so much evidence was adding up, along with many asks i was saving in my inbox to put in the post- meanwhile I wasn't interacting with Mack other than our 2nd DM convo in which I told her to stop the harassment of Dreamie and others. I gave Mack her last opportunity to show that she had good intentions in this community and towards those in it by denouncing her former views and the actions of Texas. She didn't take advantage of this. I knew that the Texas situation was going to be a huge hurdle and drain on my mental health (and her harassment of others was on-going without any sign of stopping), so I tackled that first. I was still compiling everything else, and the last post on my page with her past actions and all the links are evidence of that. Keep in mind: just because you didn't see what I was writing or taking note of, doesn't mean that I wasn't. Just because I didn't make a huge call-out post right then didn't mean I approved of her, followed her, interacted with her, or was her friend. As as much as I like to speak my mind here, doing all this does take time and mental energy.

All this aside, it's only an explanation, not an excuse. If you don't feel comfortable with how I've handled the situation, I completely understand. I've told people, including Mack, many times- that she's not entitled to a second chance or to forgiveness, and to expect she won't receive it from everyone. I want to emphasize that while I personally may give someone a chance, doesn't mean that they necessarily deserve a chance. Especially not from anyone else that they've hurt. It's not the job of black simmers like us (or anyone else marginalized) to keep forgiving and giving opportunities. It's not a human right, and it's not any morally better than not giving a second chance. The perspective of not allowing second chances is 100% valid. And if me doing so makes anyone lose trust in me, I understand that completely. As much as I try my best to be logical and hard, sometimes I'm soft-hearted and sometimes I'm naive, and I'm biased due to my own trauma and experiences. As we all are. No one needs to take my word as truth or trustworthy if they don't feel comfortable doing so. I'm not a paragon of justice and truth any more than Mack is- I'm simply sharing my own opinions and perspectives.

(I know this is long, but I hope it addresses everything nonny, and doesn't have mistakes, I wrote it on my lunch break lol)

#asks #anonymous #ceci speaks #mack3030 #abuse tw #politics tw #racism tw #this is very personal so i know other people will be gleeful to use it as ammo #but theres nothing they can say that compares to anything ive already been called or told tbh #texas can try to get on the same level as my mother and grandmother and aunts but she cant lmfao #not possible sorry #anons will never bother me for this reason either #long post

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twojackals · 11 months

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Grievances

Pre-post note: (July 29) I'm going to be back-posting some of my more recent posts from my website blog, however, this is one post I will not permit to be reblogged using the Tumblr system. I do accept non-anonymous questions (people continue to try to use anonymity to harass me)

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I'm still going down my list of reasons I now feel disconnected from Kemetic Orthodoxy, and as the Kemetic year draws to a close, I feel this offloading is incredibly important to my going into the New Year with an open mind. Because honestly, my mind was being held shut for many months now.

I'll give you the intro overview in short form: Last year, I was accused of something quite serious, and I took it very seriously, only to find out that at the end of the day, it never happened, no one had any proof that it happened, but some people very close, important, and in some ways in positions of power, thought that it had happened anyway. I'm going to talk about now, and there are people who aren't going to like that I'm talking about it.

But no one is going to prevent me from talking about my own trauma. They've been doing that already for far too long.

I had made a post to my personal facebook about a topic I really believe in -- I may talk about that topic in another post, because I feel getting into it here will split the narrative too much. The topic was important but in short-format it may have come across a little controversial. The thing about social media is that we're not writing dissertations there, we're just… speaking our minds for a small moment, letting a tiny piece of our thoughts out into the world. Not everything gets said that might get said in more formal formats.

A member of House staff who was on my Facebook account took the topic quite a bit to heart in a way I hadn't expected, and found offensive in the post in a manner that wasn't meant to be conveyed. They became confrontational on my post, and we got into what I still consider to be a mild argument.

That being said, as someone who is Autistic, someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and severe Anxiety, as a disabled person, I draw very firm borderlines in my life. I have no problem getting involved in two-sided conversations where each party is being reasonable in the right format, but this individual came at me in what I perceived as an unreasonable manner in my personal space, and that didn't sit right with me.

So I removed them.

This individual proceeded to DM me (against my No DM policy at the time, which was clearly written on my Facebook and known by anyone who was my friend at the time -- this person clearly had never taken any time to know me at all which I recognize now) and demand a piece of my personal space so they could continue to berate me. They insulted me and demanded they get the chance to continue doing so, and I absolutely put my foot down, and blocked them.

That was pretty much the end of it, and I think weeks went by where I didn't really think about it at all. Until this person started making strange remarks on an internal House of Netjer staff email chain…

The remarks were subtle at first. This person kept going on and on about "someone" who had done something awful. They were passive aggressive and rude, and at the time, I had no idea what they were talking about because the mention was just so passive, and it contained accusations that didn't fit with anything I had done, so it didn't even dawn on me it could have been me.

I guess not having gotten the reaction they wanted, they continued to berate 'this person' that had done them wrong, decreasing the subtly over and over again of the insults (and again to be clear, this is a group email chain with some of the House staff, not a one-on-one), until finally it was all too clear they were talking about me, to which I was pretty shocked.

Because the accusation that was being made, is that I had said something anti-Semitic.

I was floored. Did I say something anti-Semitic? That would be very shitty of me. So I needed to know: so I tore apart the receipts of the previous conversation and DM and could not find a single iota of what this person was talking about. Not only was there no direct statement of what I had been accused of, but there was nothing that was subtle, implied, or otherwise to the flavor or spirit of that idea.

I in no way said or implied what this person was accusing me of. And to be 100% sure, I checked with two other relevant people because maybe I wasn't seeing things correctly.

I simply hadn't done what this person, a staff member in a position of power in the House, had accused me of. This was a case of a disgruntled person who was removed and blocked from a person's facebook before getting the chance to eviscerate another person to their satisfaction.

I never got involved in the group conversation in the House staff email chain, I stayed out of it and let them burn themselves out, and they ended up resigning in short order. Had I gotten more involved, it would have only gotten worse. But behind the scenes I did make clear complaints that I suddenly realized this was about me, and that the manner in which this person was berating me was unacceptable, and also made it clear I did not do what this person was implying I did. I talked about what actually happened, and I have proof to boot.

Here's where it gets dicey though:

Later on, I was approached by Hemet (we all know Hemet) and the temple administrator in a private email conversation, and was told that, while I "wasn't in trouble", they wanted to talk to me about what I did, apparently. And when I inquired, it turns out, they were told by this individual "exactly" what I said -- which was a set of words and ideas that literally never happened.

I know I keep saying it over and over, but the level of shock I still feel from all this is pretty deep. I was shocked because it simply never happened. And I've said it before: When I say it didn't happen, I do so with as much humility as I possibly can. I respect the fact that someone is experiencing Big Feelings about an interaction they had with me, which if the accusation were true, I am perfectly capable of reflecting on it and saying "I did a shitty thing, for which I am extremely sorry, and here is how I'm going to do better."

But that 'shitty thing' never happened. Did I have a discussion-turned-argument with this person? I did, absolutely. Did I at any point during that argument do what they accused me of doing, absolutely I fucking did not. It's also important to note that, as shitty as the person was to me, they never once actually said "This is what you appear to be saying". The accusation only came after I removed them and after I blocked their access to my life. Not before.

Nevertheless: "Ok," you think to yourself. Obviously, if these people are getting involved, there is proof, and I need to suck it up and analyze the proof, and figure out how to be better. And that is what I said to the both of them: I need to better understand how I was anti-Semitic, so please send over the screenshots.

And here's where you already know what happened from my intro: there were no screenshots. No proof. Not a single gods-damn thing, and I made sure to let them know what I thought about being accused with absolutely no proof of anything as well. Two members in positions of power in a religious organization, one of them in the highest position, without any proof at all, proceeded to treat me as though I had said something extremely serious… and there was no proof. And on top of it, the funny thing? No one asked for my proof either that it didn't happen. Everyone's just out there assuming things, not even asking to see what happened...

At that point, my trust in Hemet and the House of Netjer was shattered in a way from which it has never really recovered. Don't get me wrong, there have been incidents prior to this that were shaking my trust and faith in HoN, but this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I later received an apology from Hemet… barely. The email chain in question where Hemet and and temple admin. came to me ended with Hemet needing to step away to do something, but that she'd be back, and that was literally the last I heard of it. Literally everything disappeared into the atmosphere, never to be seen again.

This mistrust underlined several times my own position in the House as a moderator, because I no longer trusted the administration's ability to be a) impartial, or b) transparent. Eventually, having eaten this mistrust really weighed on me and ate away at me, and I had an outburst in the moderator area of the forums about how I felt being falsely accused of something like that -- after which Hemet finally apologized, and claimed that she was pretty sure she already apologized via email (we have a history of saying things happen when they didn't). When I explained she had simply disappeared on the topic, never to return, I received the apology I was due…

But it was way too late. The trust was gone.

To this day, this incident truly upsets me. I take everything that happened seriously, and had I said something anti-Semitic, I would never have been reticent: I would have examined what I said, and apologized. But I cannot apologize for something I did not do, and something that never happened, though. I was accused of a very specific thing which I did not say nor did imply. In fact, what I was accused of was so far from the conversation topic, it wasn't even on the same bloody planet.

I later spoke to no fewer than half-a-dozen people who said they had similar experiences with the person in question.

Just another case of another bully hiding in plain sight the House of Netjer (one in a long history at this point).

#kemet #kemetic orthodoxy #personal #blog #update #kemetic #kemeticism #religion #spirituality #organized religion #spiritual journey

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peejsocks · 2 years

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I want to request a story where Steve-O comforts chubby female Reader. Reader is a Jackass cast member, posts a picture of herself with a Jackass themed dress (black sundress with the Jackass skull and red hearts printed all over), and gets some negative comments about her weight from online trolls. Irl, I recently had to deal with online bullying for the same scenario, posted a pic of me wearing the Jackass dress I designed, and while I did get nice comments, I also got a few mean ones about my weight, so I watched some Steve-O videos to cheer me up after this happened. Idk, you can make it turn smutty at the end of you want.

a/n: first of all, i'm so sorry this happened. i hope this story makes you feel loved. if anything like that ever happens again, or if you just want to talk, my DMs and ask box are always open <3 much much love

tags/disclaimers: nsfw; nsfk

Jackass is everything to you. Job, legacy and family. No matter how far your career branched out, it always comes back to the movies that started it all. So it felt obvious to combine your newly picked up hobby and one of the most crucial parts of your life, designing a beautiful black sundress adorned with the famous Jackass skull and delicate red hearts surrounding the piece.

Proud of your creation, it was a no brainer to share it with friends and fans of the franchise by posting a picture of yourself wearing it online.

Initially, all was well, people loved it and complimented your skills, some even asking if you would make it available as merch. Naively riding the high of internet validation, everything comes crashing down when your eyes gloss over a gross comment tearing you apart because of your looks. Before your mind can shut the idea down, you're scrolling through the other comments to see if there are more like it, and you end up finding what you went looking for.

You had always been under relative scrutiny from Jackass fans for joining the crew around the third movie, a bit of an 'intruder' in some people's eyes, but all of the boys received their fair share of criticism so it felt wrong to complain. You figured respecting the loyal followers and allowing them to feel however they wanted could get you in their good graces eventually, but this is too far. It's completely uncalled for and has nothing to do with Jackass itself.

Deleting the mean comments and moving on is no longer an option after noticing people defending you under them, sparking long threads of disgusting insults about your weight and body.

It's no surprise that people on the internet can be horrible, but it would be asking too much of any human being to not fall for it and be affected by personal attacks, even if slightly.

Shutting your laptop, you spend the rest of the day curled under a blanket in your couch, trying to blame the tears on the sappy movie you had put on. Eventually you have to turn off your phone too, because people are calling. At first you believe you are being paranoid, it could have nothing to do with your post, but when the guys' names show up on screen one by one, you're terrified of what the situation might have grown into, so you make yourself unreachable.

The knock on your door is the first thing to remind you of outside life. The intercom didn't ring, so you figured it was your neighbour looking for his cat again.

You should have guessed it was Steve-O instead, he did live close to you. He's holding the white cat in his arms, scratching its head.

"Hey, beautiful."

Leaning on the door frame, you attempt to pet the animal but it moves away. "Cotton doesn't usually like being touched. You're a true cat whisperer."

"Pussy mage, if you will." Vocalizing your disgust, you reprimand his low-hanging joke as the small creature is freed from his grasp and elegantly walks away along the halls.

Steve-O hugs you tight and before you can protest, he's switching your positions so that now he is inside your apartment, knowing you could refuse to let him in but never kick him out.

"What did you do to the doorman? Did you bribe him?"

"I'm famous, dear." His laugh is comforting, but his question is a bucket of cold water. "You're not letting those trolls get to you, are you?"

"Never." You're stiff and your voice wavers, revealing the truth quite effortlessly. "Ok, look, if you're here for a pep talk, I don't need it. I just want to watch movies and not think about it."

"Fine. What are we watching?" He plops down on your couch, stealing the blanket and taking off his shoes.

Steve-O is the best company you could have right now, holding an eternal soft spot for him, so you truly could never ask him to leave.

On the couch, you're forced to sit close in order to share the blanket. It takes a second to feel right, but when he immediately starts asking questions about the plot, you forget everything else.

In between cracking up at stupid Steve-O jokes, heavy lids win the fight against exhaustion, head leaning on a strong shoulder.

Firm hands warming up your skin in constrast to the now cold air replacing the embrace of the old blanket wake you up. Your friend is preparing to lift and carry your body presumably to your bed.

"Woah, no need for that." Dark eyes dart over your face, confused. "I think I'm too heavy."

"Don't be stupid." With that, Steve gets up from the couch, bringing you with him. He sure wasn't the scrawny kid anymore, taking a moment to enjoy feeling secure in a man's arms, his muscles flexing under your weight but not struggling. Casually holding, instead, as if it's nothing short of ordinary.

That doesn't happen to you that often. Maybe you're still asleep, dreaming of a perfect love interest, all the movies you had watched bleeding into your unconscious.

Even though your bedroom was just at the end of the hallway, it felt like you stared at his stoic face in the dark for hours.

"Safe and sound." Steve sets you down on the mattress carefully, and the possibly rusty springs still squeak.

"Old bed." A tight smile, the very one you loved, spread across a tired face, causing glasses to slide down his nose a little. "What time is it?"

"Past eleven, or something." He shrugs, setting a hand on your thigh. It moves up and down, comfortable heat running up your body. "Call me if you need anything, yeah?"

"Wait." It's a split second decision, mind completely overrun by emotion and a need for attention, his attention. "Would you stay? Please? Un-Unless you have something to get to or, uhm, or someone waiting for you, or if you don't want to, obviously…"

"I'm so glad you asked, dude. I really don't feel like walking even three blocks in the cold night air."

Chastising him for even considering laying in your bed in dirty clothes, you're now under the sheets next to a half naked Steve-O. This whole thing is a terrible, awful, self-sabotaging-esque idea because of course you're not going to be normal about it. It's your annoyingly attractive friend who you've had a longing crush on for years, spending the entire day intent on pulling you out of a shitty mood and now showing off a toned chest iluminated by the screen of his phone.

The black rectangle slipping from his fingers and smashing on his nose is what disperses your trance, defogging your brain and giving way for the most sincere boisterous laugh exploding from your chest.

The bed shakes with how much the two of you are laughing, heads pushing back on the pillows, disrupting the quiet building.

"Sorry- just- oh my god, the look on your- so stupid"

Your eyes are shut when Steve sighs loudly, recovering from the fit. "Oh, man, it sucks so bad that you have an adorable laugh."

Before you can ask what that is supposed to mean, lean fingers start tickling your sides. At first, it's entertaining, unable to resist the urge to squirm and giggle, but soon the realization that he is feeling your body hits.

He notices the quick change in your expression. "What, you don't like my hands there?"

Breathing uneasy, everything is deafeningly silent again.

"Don't tell me it's because…" His tone is explicit, enough to uncover how well aware he is of you. "Oh, no, beautiful. There's no need for that."

Silence is overtaken by unspeakable tension. His voice is lower, more serious. Fingertips in your sides transform into palms pushing your jumper up, thumbs caressing the skin under your boobs.

"Are they better there?" Steve's torso hovers over your unmovable body, non-threatening but demanding, waiting for permission.

Swallowing thickly, you think back to those comments. How quickly you forgot them, how much they did not change who you are, or who you care about, or most importantly, who truly cares about you. With new found boldness, helped by the reminder that there's always going to be more to life than what strangers think, you give an answer.

"They are."

Just like that, chapped lips envelop yours. A million thoughts race through you, but they are quickly brushed off when Steve pulls your body down and straddles your hips.

Part of your hair hangs off the side of the bed as his tongue moves to explore. Separating, you're surprised by his decision to turn on the lamp in your bedside table. "I wanted this for so long, I want to see all of you."

There's no time to focus on the confession, caught off guard by the unapologetic admission he actually wants to look at your body. All of it, as he said. If only he knew the confidence that was sparking inside of you, well, maybe he would be proud.

Steve-O is quick to remove your jumper fully, uncovering your breasts, which he does not hesitate to suck on dotingly. As much as you wish you could say everything you felt, all that comes out is his name, over and over again.

Taking that as encouragement, his raspy tongue frees your nipples to continue traveling down your stomach, biting the soft skin along the way and stopping to leave a hickey among the stretch marks in your hips.

Watching him carefully, some suspicion remains. "You're telling me you like all that? I don't remember seeing thick thighs in any of the girls you dated."

Redirecting his gaze up at you, his eyes look determined, just like when you bet against him on a stunt.

Steve moves back on the mattress, grabbing one of your legs and wasting no time before open-mouth kissing them, covering you in more purple marks and bites. The thought of hoping that's how he eats pussy is interrupted by a barely contained moan from him.

"You mean these?" Digits press where his lips were just a second ago. "Don't go thinking you know everything about me, beautiful."

Your lips are partly open when Steve-O takes them again, expecting his kiss and meeting it with the same hunger this time. The older man takes advantage of your distraction to hook his fingers on the band of your pajama shorts and pull them down, counting on you to kick them off with your feet.

Once that is done with, he moves down one more time, licking his lips at the sight of white lace panties. "May I?"

Nodding, your lower lip gets pulled in by your teeth in anticipation, gaze moving to the ceiling. A deep sigh is not enough, you're moaning louder than this building has probably heard in its entire existence. Safe to say you were right about the similar way he treats your thigh and your clit.

Every muscle is contracting, fingers gripping the sheet and sweat pooling in your back.

"Get out of those damn fucking boxers, Steve-O."

Hesitant to unstuck himself from you, he fumbles with the pockets of his pants looking for a condom while you try and regain control over your body.

Everything after that happens fast.

Steve is now man-handling you from the back, unquestionably bruising your hips with the force of his thrusts. The only thing louder than the wet noises of your friend going in and out of you and the sound of flesh hitting flesh is the moaning.

"So close. Please."

"Cum for me, beautiful, you deserve this."

Climax hits you consecutively, flopping down on top of each other almost instantly, breathing unstable.

It takes a second for either of you to move, and when Steve-O comes back from the bathroom, you can't help but ask. "Where were you keeping all of that these years?"

"In my pants?" He laughs, chest vibrating, head turned towards you on the pillow. The light is still on. "I always knew you looked beautiful in a sweaty mess with crazy hair but it's even better when it's my fault."

Rolling your eyes, you feel the need to thank him. "It was a nice day, better than I expected."

His arms pull you closer, embracing you and whispering. "Maybe we make this a recurring thing, then."

#steveo x reader #steveo #jackass #jackass fanfic

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scxrsgxrd · 4 years

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A Roman request I received through my DMs: Could you do a smut that’s like really dirty and absolutely rough with a blood kink then with a little bit of sweet aftercare. I hope you enjoy! :)

This piece is 18+ and contains a period/blood kink.

(Time for some nasty Roman.)

“Get fucking dressed.” Roman hissed for the sixth time that evening, rubbing at his temples as you frowned and shook your head once more, pulling the blanket up to your chin as you lay flat on your back on the couch.

You had started your period the previous morning, and as ever, it happened to come at the most inconvenient time. Roman had some function at Godfrey Industries in around an hours time, and your cramps were debilitating. You had spent most of the day with a tub of chocolate ice cream and a hot water bottle pressed against your lower half, while Roman growled and muttered a different insult each time he walked past you.

“I mean it, sweetheart.” Roman leaned his head forward, almost showing his teeth like an aggressive dog as his voice lowered. You knew you were in for it, but you just could not bring yourself to put on a fancy gown and heels while Roman paraded you around in front of a large group of posh, old snobs.

“Ro, I told you. Go without me.” You mumbled, trying to shoo him away as you craned your head to the television screen to browse through Netflix once more. A loud gasp left you as Roman snatched the remote out of your hand and launched it across the room, cocking his brow.

“Yeah? Now what? Looks like you’re gonna have to come with me.” He folded his arms defiantly, nodding his head toward the stairs to indicate for you to get dressed.

You rolled your eyes and glared at him for a few seconds, but you knew there was no way of bargaining with him. You dramatically swung your legs off the couch and stood up, dragging the blanket with you. But Roman’s attention had been lost on you. His eyes were fixed on the couch. It wasn’t the couch itself he was glaring down at, rather a stain on the cushion, a red stain.

“Shit.” You muttered, your cheeks flushing as looked downwards to see that your sweatpants had an identical stain on them. Roman’s gaze flickered between your crotch and the sofa, his pupils beginning to dilate as he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip.

“I’m sorry, Roman. I’ll go get something to clean it with.” You were about to rush into the kitchen when Roman sidestepped in front of you.

“Lie down.” His voice was low again, but not like before. This time his tone wasn’t laced with anger.

Now you were the defiant one. You cocked your brow in the same way Roman had done just a few minutes earlier. “I thought I needed to get dressed.”

“Lie. Down.”

The look on his face made you gulp. You lay down on the sofa, your chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, the anticipation began to make your lower half tingle. Sex with Roman was feral, but sex with Roman while on your period went so far beyond this that there was no accurate way to describe it.

Roman stood still, his eyes resting on the stain covering the front of your sweatpants as his nostrils flared slightly. The scent was intoxicating to him, and he could feel his self control begin to dwindle as he stepped over to the couch.

But Roman was careful, as he knelt on the edge of the sofa he reached over and rested his fore and middle fingers under your chin.

“You don’t mind me doing this?” He murmured, taking a deep breath as he gripped onto his thigh with his other hand, he was desperate to taste you, to feel your warmth against his tongue.

“No, Roman. I don’t mind.” You smiled at him, helping him to pull down your sweatpants and panties.

A low groan left Roman when he saw the tampon still inside you, curling the string around his finger as he gave it a gentle tug, his whole body tensing as he watched it exit you, a small pool of blood leaking onto the couch as he pulled slowly and carefully.

“Roman.” You hissed, feeling your cheeks flush. He flashed you his trademark wicked smirk, tossing the tampon over his shoulder and setting his gaze on his ultimate prize.

Roman was never one to hold back; and administering oral sex was no different. His tongue immediately delved into your folds, his eyes rolling to the back of his head when the taste of you hit his tongue. For Roman, there was nothing more sexy than giving you head during your time of the month. Not only were you more sensitive but he derived pleasure from it too, his animalistic nature revelling in the sight before him.

You felt your back arch off the couch when Roman attached his lips onto your clit, sucking and licking the most sensitive part of you while his middle finger teased at your entrance, easing itself in as Roman shoved both of your legs over his shoulders to allow him better access. It didn’t take long for you to get close, you began to squirm as your walls squeezed Roman’s finger, indicating to him that you were just seconds away from release; but that didn’t fit his plan.

“Not just yet, honey, You’re gonna cum while I’m fucking you.” Roman’s voice was gruff, and when he pulled backwards you could see the red coating on his lips and chin. When Roman removed his finger from you he looked into your eyes as he brought the finger up to his lips, and you let out a small gasp when he slid it between his lips. A growl left him as he licked and sucked his finger clean, the small taster of you only left him wanting more.

He began to unbuckle his belt, nimble fingers moving as quickly as they could. You sat up slightly and pulled at his dress pants until they were round his ankles, rubbing your palm over the growing bulge in his boxers while Roman’s teeth sunk into his bottom lip.

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you, and he’s gonna fuck you real hard, m’kay?”

All you could do was nod as Roman began to position himself above you, he knelt between your thighs and hooked his large hands behind your knees, sliding your legs back over his shoulders, almost mimicking the position he had you in just minutes ago. When he rose up on his knees you winced slightly at the stretch, but before you could register this pain Roman slammed into you with all his mite, a loud squeak escaping from you as your jaw went slack.

Roman kept this impressive pace, one hand gripping at a cushion while the other rested on your thigh to keep you in position. Every few seconds he’d glance down at where you were both connected, marvelling at the sight of his crimson coated cock. This was the sight that Roman got off on. This was the time when his godforsaken monster-half could take over him, and though he had little control over his upir nature, he knew he would never allow himself to hurt you. No matter how caught up he became during this time, no part of him would inflict harm on the person he loved most in the fucked up world he apart of.

You could tell that Roman was stuck inside his head, so you reached your hand up and cupped the left side of his jaw, snapping him out of whatever trance he was in. He gave you a small smile in return, and released his grip on the cushion to put his fingers to better use. His thumb began to trace harsh circles on your clit, and you could feel the tension begin to build up inside of you, only made more intense by Roman’s relentless thrusts as he rolled his hips into you at a slower pace. He knew this would make you feel every movement, and in the second where you thought you were going to implode Roman found your sweet spot, the spot that made your face contort and your whole body freeze.

“Mmm, that’s right sweetheart. Let it all out for daddy.” Roman cooed as he angled his hips to hit that spot over and over. This combined with the feeling of his thumb pressed against your clit was enough for you to let go of the orgasm that had been brewing up inside you. Your arms flailed, hands trying to grab whatever they could as you felt the rush of pleasure course through your body, incoherent babblings leaving your lips as your whole body convulsed.

Witnessing you let go because of his own ministrations made Roman’s cock twitch, and his thrusting became sloppier as his shoulders stooped. He turned his head to one side, pressing his lips against the soft skin of your inner thigh before sinking his teeth into it, grunting and growling as you felt hot spurts of his cum fill you.

You lay there panting while Roman pulled out of you, gazing down at the blood covering his cock as you kicked his thigh gently and ordered him to clean himself up.

After a few minutes he sauntered back over to you, a wet towel in one hand and a tampon in the other. You watched as he spread your legs, wiping over your thighs with the towel before ghosting it up and down your pussy, cocking his brow as you jolted slightly. He chuckled as you frowned at him and unwrapped the tampon, sliding a cushion underneath your ass to allow him a better view for his task. Roman managed to expertly insert the tampon inside you and planted a kiss on your clit, murmuring softly to you about how much of a good girl you had been for him. You knew that while he was in one of his softer moods you could try to push your luck with him.

“Do this mean we can stay in tonight?”

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey imagine #roman godfrey smut

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bbygirldahyun · 3 years

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with something like this, there never feels like a right time, and i don’t know if i’ll ever feel well and truly prepared to talk about these things, but i’ll give it a shot. here is my experience with reza and the entire situation.

i say none of this with malice, and i would hope nobody else does either. nobody but those who were directly involved can understand, talking about this is hard, but it’s weighing me down not to. so please, don’t send anyone hate or interact with her at all. i just want to express what happened and move on.

i became friends with reza awhile ago, probably over a year ago at least if my memory serves me correctly. unlike many others in this situation, we were very close. we spoke nearly everyday. we have spoken on the phone, she has met my girlfriend over the phone, we shared a lot of personal things. we even talked about meeting in person at one point. so trust me when i say, this has brought me an intense amount of sorrow, loss, and guilt.

i know people throw around words like gaslighting and manipulative a lot, but i truly mean it when i say she manipulated many of us. she made me feel absolutely insane sometimes, like i couldn’t trust my own memories, perspectives, and experiences. what i said i thought happened never mattered. experiences i had with someone were never considered unless they aligned with her predetermined narrative. she would convince me i said or did things i didn’t, or at least didnt remember saying. she told people i was angry at her about something when i had no recollection of it. i’m not an angry person, i couldn’t imagine being truly angry and harsh with her ever.

it seemed every few weeks or months, she picked a new person to dislike and she wanted everyone else to dislike them too. she used to tell me frequently how nobody ever believed her about anything, so at first when she would tell me about not liking someone for some reason i always tried to validate her and believe what she said. i wanted her to know i was a good friend, i wanted to be a good friend. but the more it went on, the more i started to question things. people i didn’t know very well i easily believed what she said, because i’m very trusting. i had no reason not to trust her, really. but then it became people who were my friends that were the targets of her distaste.

if i ever had a small problem with someone, she blew it way out of proportion. of course all friends have issues, everyone has issues. so i would confide in her when other people i was friends with had upset me somehow, and she always responded with incredibly petty insults about the person whether it be their writing, their art, or about them as a person. it was very odd. but i learned very quickly i couldn’t ever defend any of my other friends, because that angered her severely. she has talked poorly about just about every single person on this website in this community, including her own friends. i know sometimes you just need a place to vent, i understand that, i’ve done that myself. but she was often rude, petty, and insulting about these people. it wasn’t just venting, it was true distaste and malice.

if she wasn’t responding with petty insults, she would become very intense about the situation. she would almost always instruct me to not trust that person anymore, or to cut them off, or even sometimes go as far as to “handle” the situation herself. another writer mentioned in their post that they were kicked from a groupchat because of her, and i was in that groupchat, and she did it simply because a joke that was made had upset me slightly. she took things from 0 to 100 in seconds, before i could even protest. sometimes when she did things like that, i felt perhaps that’s what friends did? i didn’t have many friends growing up, so i guess i didn’t really know. but it often felt as if she treated me like someone who couldn’t fight my own battles when really, i’m just not a fighter by choice. i’d rather talk things out, especially with someone who was a friend of mine who i cherish deeply.

i confided in her that i was very trusting and thought everyone had good intentions due to being autistic and taking what people say at face value. i told her that’s how i ended up in my abusive relationship, because i was too trusting. she told me she hated that anyone had done that to me, and then went and did it herself. she took advantage of the fact i can’t tell easily when i’m being manipulated. she attempted to plant seeds of distrust within me towards every single other friend i had, even my girlfriend. i spoke to her once about an issue my girlfriend and i had had a long time ago, and she immediately said in essence she didn’t think my girlfriend was good for me. this was one issue within a nearly 5 year relationship. it felt insanely isolating, to be told at every turn that anyone in my life was bad for me, except for her.

it’s also worthy of pointing that all of these people who she would talk so poorly about to me and to just about anyone who would listen, she is more than willing to turn around and kiss their feet when she lost all her friends. duckie was a particular target of hers in terms of her attempts to get me to cut my friendship off with. some of the things she said to me, i don’t even want to repeat, though of course i have told duckie about it. she has said nasty things about her, about me, about our entire friendship. and yet, the second she didn’t have her friends on here anymore, she was tagging duckie in a praising post, surely in the hopes somebody might take her side i can only assume. that really boiled my blood — all of those nasty words, only to turn around and do that. and duckie isn’t even the only one, she’s just the one i’m closest to who reza did that with.

she has accused so many of us of being clout obsessed or chasing clout. i am no professional, nor can i make claims with 100% certainty, but i would go out on a limb and say i’m fairly positive those accusations are heavy projection. many of her accusations are, to be frank. she has always been seeking “clout”, attention really, ever since the beginning. she used to tell me her biggest dream was to end up on one of those writer reccomendation lists and so it doesn’t surprise me at all that her supposed final straw with lu was being excluded from one, even accidentally. but of course, she’s certainly accused all of us time and time again that we’re obsessed with clout, that we’re all only friends with each other for clout. and it’s sad to me, that that’s how she sees friendship, a means for exchange. but it’s clear that’s how she treats friendships.

she also accused someone of copying art. now whether they did or not, i have absolutely no clue. but when she showed me the supposedly copied art, i told her i wasn’t an artist and i’m also pretty face blind so i wasn’t sure if i was the best judge of whether it was copied or not. she got very angry at me for not believing her, and i tried to reassure her i trusted her perspectives i just couldn’t make the call myself. this became a repetitive situation between us — her making an accusation, me trying to dispute or to even just deflect and move on in conversation, and she’d get mad at me or just straight up stop replying. it was exhausting.

the rumors she has spread about me and others on here are horrible. some of the things she’s said about me have me absolutely floored. there’s things i’d love to address, but i don’t want to throw the person who told me what she said under the bus. but what i will say, is she basically acts as if i’m incompetent without her. i hate to throw around accusing words, but in retrospect many of the things she did and said to me and things she’s said and done since ending our friendship feel incredibly ableist and infantalizing.

now onto what really brought all of this to head. i’m sure all of you have seen the posts referring her calling a trans poc a nazi, but that’s not my story to tell really. my story is what happened after. she dmed me in the midst of that situation to complain to me about the person she accused of being a nazi, and i essentially told her not to bring me in the middle of it. at the time they were both my friends, and i thought she was acting incredibly out of pocket. of course, she grew upset, but insisted she wasn’t trying to bring me into it. i told her i didn’t think her accusation was fair, she told me that this person blocking her was “proof” that they were a nazi supporter, and i basically told her that was quite a leap. we didn’t talk for awhile after that, until she reached out again saying she didn’t want to lose me as a friend and this very long, nice message. i told her i valued her friendship a lot and as her friend, i felt it was my duty to tell her she fucked up and that she should apologized. she admitted to me she knew she was wrong. she admitted it. but she said something like it was too late to do anything about it. one of our last dm exchanges was her saying i was the one person she didn’t want to lose. then she blocked everyone.

so when she tells people i blocked her, or i ended the friendship, or whatever, that’s not true. i didn’t block her until she blocked me. i was never mean to her, not even at the very bitter end. if she thinks i was a bad friend, by all means she can think that, but i tried my best day in and day out to be a good friend. i wanted to make things work so badly, i truly loved reza as a best friend, we had so many good memories together. it broke my heart to watch her behave that way and go on to behave how she’s behaved since. i thought she was better than all of that.

she’s thrown out all sorts of wild accusations towards nearly everyone on here, including claiming we’re all lesbophobic for not supporting her gofundme. this is where her hypocrisy becomes evident. her close friend who has since deactivated had made a post basically claiming that posting “a few words” isnt activism right in the middle of when many of us on here were sharing donation links of black people in need in the aftermath of the chauvin verdict, which reza reblogged. both reza and her friend shared their own gofundmes mere days after that post. i thought that was absolutely despicable. not to mention the amount of times she’s accused lu of being transphobic and a bad ally, or reblogged posts of her cis friend claiming lu is a bad ally, which just isn’t true in the slightest. lu is an upstanding individual, and truly the pinnacle of allyship in my mind. she doesn’t just reblog a post to look good, she’s truly an amazing and supportive friend. couldn’t ask for better than that.

reza is hypocritical in so many other, smaller ways. she attacked someone for simply watching a critical review of attack on titan but continues to stan groups and people who have problematic or questionable pasts or elements to them. of course, media has problematic elements and we can engage with that critically, but the problem is she seems to think only she can do that and other people are free game to jump on and make wild accusations about. she claimed softblocking people was dumb, only to softblock me herself days later. the expectations she places on others she feels no obligation to uphold herself.

she has made attempts to entice new writers into this community by promoting them, praising their work, and claiming they can be the biggest writer etc all the while on her twitter tweeting things to the effect of all the writing on hc tumblr is boring now, or twice fic isn’t as good anymore, dreamcatcher fics are better etc etc. it’s disgusting. she brought innocent people fresh to the community into this nonsense and the second they didn’t validate her entire pov she deleted everything relating to them on her blog, all her promotions, and tweeted she’ll never help a new writer again. it was horrible to watch how many people became involved in this messy web and got hurt because of it.

i want to end all of this by apologizing from the bottom of my heart to anybody who i was swayed into a wrong opinion of by reza, to anyone who i spoke on without realizing i was being clouded by her manipulation, and to all of my friends who she spoke so poorly about. i did everything i thought i could to defend the people i cared about, but as many others can attest to she’s incredibly hard to argue against. it’s painful, and sometimes i hit a point of exhaustion. i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this situation, by reza or any of her friends or anybody. it was terrible being stuck in that cycle of awfulness, and i feel so much guilt thinking that i could’ve ever contributed to her poor actions and words about others. i trusted her with so many private things and i regret it more than anything.

that’s the hardest part of this, that i trusted her with so much. i trusted her with many things i would hardly share with anyone else. i told her embarrassing stories, shared much of my traumas to her, told her about my sister and my family and my girlfriend and all of these personal things. she told me so many things in return, but i know who i am. i know i would never share any of those things, none of the embarrassing stuff or the private stuff, nor would i laugh at it even to myself. but i know who she is, and that makes me feel like someone who i can’t trust holds so many things i shared in comfort, a comfort i no longer have. it’s difficult to grapple with.

and reza, if you’re reading this and i’m pretty positive you will be — i hope you find peace within yourself so you don’t have to treat people this way. perhaps i’m too optimistic, too kind and too trusting and too easily tricked, but i would rather be that than live the way you have, paranoid and bitter inside towards everyone. i hope you find a way beyond that, and i mean that genuinely.

#me

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neptunetheplanet7 · 3 years

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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 3.3k

warnings: fluff at first, angst ig, angry levi, hitch, swearing, arguing/fighting, yelling

sorry it took a while to get this out there. school started for me last week and it’s been hard getting back into the groove of things. thank you for being patient with me!

listen to the music masterlist

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A couple of days passed since Zeke's sudden arrival. Eren agreed to your terms of his brother's stay with reluctance. He understood where you were coming from, though. Armin was right about him respecting your decision.

Tonight you and your bandmates would meet your large friend group at a nice restaurant nearby. You stood in the bathroom attached to your room, styling your hair the way you wanted.

In the last two days, you received texts from a few of your curious friends. They all seemed very interested in who you were bringing to dinner. If only they knew it was the strong-willed girl you'd had a crush on for years.

Sasha and Connie put the pieces together and teased you relentlessly about 'bringing a date to dinner'.

You were nervous to see the reactions of your friends when you walked in with Mikasa. Unlike you, they didn't get a warning of her return.

Stepping back from the counter and smoothing down your outfit, you exhaled softly. You took one final glance at the mirror and left the bathroom.

Two blonds were arguing in the living room when you entered.

"What's going on?" you asked cautiously.

"We can't leave him alone in the house while we're out. He's like a child! He already broke two vases because he slipped while looking for spare change!" Armin explained. He was wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks. He ran a hand through his silk hair then placed both hands on his hips.

Zeke protested, "Y/n, you can trust me. Don't listen to him, he's delusional." He was still in his usual attire, a t-shirt, and jeans.

Armin's face turned red from anger. "Why you-"

"You broke my vases?" you interrupted.

"No."

"He did! I watched him do it the second time!"

You learned the hard way that messing with Armin was a death sentence. Especially when he was mad. The argument had to stop before it turned physical.

"Zeke, get dressed. You're coming with us, but you sit far away. You don't talk to us or our friends." You pointed a stern finger at him.

He pouted and groaned like a child before slumping his shoulders and stomping down the basement stairs.

Armin rubbed a hand over his face and, in an annoyed fashion, checked his watch. "Will they ever be done?"

You chuckled. "You're always the first one ready. Don't you know that by now?"

He rolled his eyes and fell back on the couch. "Shut it."

Eren appeared at the basement door, looking frustrated. In his hand, he held out the tie to the suit he was wearing. "How the hell do you tie this thing?"

Armin sighed and stood back up, his rest short-lived. They made their way over to him and began to walk him through each step while his eyebrows only furrowed more.

His long hair fell around his face as he tried his best to maneuver the tie correctly. His face lit up once he got it right.

"How have you gone this long without knowing how to tie a tie?" Jean leaned his head out of the hall bathroom, which you didn't even know he was in.

"Shut up, Kirstein. I get by." He glared.

Jean laughed and fully emerged from the bathroom wearing a beige suit vest and slacks. Underneath, he wore a cream-colored dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair was tied back in a short ponytail with a few strands falling loose.

Your eyes shifted back to Eren, who was struggling to put on his suit jacket and you stifled a laugh.

"Stop laughing! It's not funny." His words were hard to understand since he held around three bobby pins between his teeth.

You laughed some more despite his agitation. You were disrupted by the light clacking of heels on the stairs to the second story. Looking in that direction, you saw Mikasa walking down and you had to stop your mouth from dropping open.

She was wearing a simple tight black dress that reached just above her knees. Silver dangly earrings were in her ears and a dainty silver necklace hung around her neck. Her ring adorned fingers played with the hem of her dress. She smiled at you from across the room.

Eren bumped your hip and you nearly shrieked. His presence next to you had gone unnoticed until then. He snickered at you and nodded to Mikasa. You narrowed your eyes and tugged a lock of hair out of his bun.

His smirk dropped. "What'd you do that for? Now I have to do this all over again. Bitch." he grumbled the insult and left your side.

Mikasa walked over to where you stood. "Hi."

"Hi." You returned her smile.

She sucked a quiet breath. "You look nice."

You couldn't fight the grin that spread across your face at her simple compliment. "As do you."

She smiled again and you felt you might collapse from the surge of butterflies in your stomach.

Zeke came up from the basement, gaining everyone's attention. "What the hell are you wearing?" Eren chided.

He was adorned in a baby blue suit with ruffles decorating the dress shirt. You struggled to hold in your laughs, as did the woman beside you.

"Don't talk about it." Zeke lowered his eyes to the floor as Eren laughed loudly without shame.

"Marco's here to pick us up," Jean announced, shoving his phone into his pocket. He wanted to see Marco's reaction to Mikasa's homecoming at the dinner, but that dream was cut short when she answered the door to him the day prior. He was shocked, to say the least.

Sure enough, when you looked tho the front door, you could see the glare of Marco's headlights in the darkness.

He waved you all over to get in his car. Jean sat in the passenger seat, perks of dating the driver. In a backseat that was designed for three people, you were crammed inside with Armin, Eren, and Mikasa. Zeke was forced to ride in the trunk.

Mikasa was pressed up against your skin. In the confinement of the car, you could feel her warm breath tickling your shoulder whenever she spoke.

A shiver ran through your body and your hands gripped your knees. Nobody noticed, thank god. You were very grateful that the only light sources were phone screens and the button rims inside the car.

Everyone chatted mindlessly until Marco turned a corner into a parking lot. He parked the car near the entrance and got out with everybody following suit.

Once you were inside, you were greeted with the familiar smell of the restaurant. It was the one you always went to when meeting up with the group. You didn't know the owners, but Reiner did, and he was the one who planned these gatherings.

"Welcome to Galliard's!" greeted a blond man whose name tag read Colt. A look of recognition crossed his face. "Oh, it's you guys. Right, this way." He grabbed a menu for each person and led you to a large booth in the middle of the restaurant.

You took a good look at everyone. You all went to the same high school, some of you just didn't meet until later. Like you, Sasha, and Connie.

Five people were seated at the table. Two were missing. Ymir and Historia were late. Figures.

They all saw Mikasa looming behind you since each of them had some form of shock on their face. Several voices suddenly arose from the group.

"When did you get back? And why did I not hear about it?" voiced a betrayed Bertholdt.

"Mikasa, I didn't know you would be here," Annie said coolly.

"Oh my god, Mikasa!" Connie tried to act surprised.

"Mikasa! I had no idea you'd be here." It turns out Sasha was just as bad of an actor.

"This is your plus one, Y/n?" Reiner held a knowing expression.

"So no one is happy to see me?" Eren sounded hurt.

Reiner wasted no time standing up to pull you in for a hug. He pulled back after a few seconds and held you by the shoulders at an arm's length away. "Like the beard?" He gestured to his chin.

"Sure, Reiner, it suits you." You patted his shoulder and he returned your cheerful smile. He moved to talk to the others as Bertholdt came into your view.

When he hugged you, you noticed how much taller he was than you. You had to stand on your tip-toes to see over his shoulder. "What the hell, Bertholdt?" You fucking ladder," you blurted.

He laughed at your lovely way with words. "Hi, Y/n. It's been a while. I'm glad to see you're still doing well."

"It has. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. How's it going at the school?"

"It's definitely going. I'll tell you about it in a second. You wanna sit down?" He moved to the side to let you slide into the booth. Mikasa was on your right and Bertholdt was on your left.

Everyone was seated except for Zeke, who stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Eren told him to find someone to get him to a table. He just pushed up his glasses and left.

Across from you sat Sasha, Connie, and Jean who were laughing their asses off at something Marco said. Reiner, Eren, and Armin sat on the cushy bench across from Annie who sat on one of the three chairs pulled up to the table.

"So, Mikasa, when did you get back?" Annie asked.

"Earlier this week."

"What? You've been here that long and we didn't know?" Reiner gaped at her.

"We thought it'd be a nice surprise." You shrugged.

"I thought you were bringing a date. Or is she your date?" Connie teasingly wiggled his eyebrows while Sasha laughed loudly.

You blushed madly at his question. "Shut up, guys! You already knew I was bringing her, anyway."

"You knew?" Bertholdt's eyes boggled.

"No wonder you're so calm. Out of everyone I'd expect you two to go ballistic," Annie pointed out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Connie lifted his arms in an attempt to appear threatening.

A new voice spoke, "It means you're an idiot." You looked up to see Ymir stood behind Annie's chair with one hand around Historia's shoulders and one in the pocket of her suit jacket.

"Ymir, hi!" You greeted and she raised an eyebrow.

"This is your date?" She chuckled.

"She's not my date," you grumbled, folding your arms. Ymir just snickered and sat in the chair next to Annie's, Historia sitting next to her.

"Quit it, Ymir. Is that all you have to say to someone we haven't seen in two years?" she scolded her girlfriend.

"How is it, Mikasa?" Ymir turned and asked.

"It's good. Glad to be back." She gave a small smile.

"That's good to hear! We're all happy you're back," Historia said with enthusiasm. Mikasa nodded in response.

You picked up your conversation with Bertholdt from earlier about his job. He was an elementary school teacher and from what he told you, he was very good at what he did.

Other conversations went on, jokes were told, and by the time the waitress came to the table for your orders, you'd caught up with everyone. The whole group was excited Mikasa came home and it showed.

Her hand brushed against yours multiple times under the table and your shoulders tensed up whenever they touched hers. She didn't seem to mind the contact. You wished she'd just take your hand since you were too scared to do so yourself.

Those moments of giddiness were short-lived because you noticed two familiar figures at a table toward the back.

Hitch smiled maliciously and waved at you while bringing her champagne glass to her lips. Marlo sat across from her on his phone, drumming his knuckles on the table.

Your eyes widen and you quickly move away from Mikasa, startling her.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" She placed a hand on your shoulder with a worried expression.

"I'll be right back." You brushed her hand off and shimmied out of the booth, heading to the bathroom.

You pushed the door open and luckily no one was inside. Your hands gripped onto the edge of the counter as your mind raced. What the hell were they doing here? Why tonight? Your blood was beginning to boil as you became angrier by the second.

The door swept open and in walked the woman of the hour. "Hello, Y/n," she sang.

"What are you doing here? Can I not have a meet-up with my friends without you riding my dick?" you sneered, looking at her in the mirror.

Shock flashed across her face and she let out a breathy laugh. "Such colorful language, Y/n! I didn't expect that from you!" She turned to face the sinks and your eyes met in the mirrors.

"What are you doing here, Hitch?"

"I'm having a nice dinner with my friend, that's what I'm doing. It just so happens you were here tonight as well," she said.

"So it's a coincidence? If you say so, I don't believe you."

"That's exactly what it is. You don't have to believe it, but it's the truth. I can promise I wasn't planning on spying on you tonight." She blew her bangs away from her face.

She honestly couldn't tell if she was lying or not but your anger level was rising quickly and you didn't know if you'd be able to stop yourself from saying something you would regret.

"What is your problem, Hitch? Seriously, have you nothing better to do? I haven't seen half of those people in months." You tore your eyes away from the mirror to fully look at her.

"I told you, Y/n. I wasn't here for you. I don't have a problem." She narrowed her eyes as she stood at her full height, facing you.

You scoffed. "Tell me what your problem is. I want to hear you say why you're doing all this. You never did give me an explanation."

"I don't have a problem."

"Yes, you do. Why did you follow me in here? Do you think you can intimidate me or something?"

"I know I can intimidate you. Stop acting like you're the one with the power right now. I'm the one who has the guts to tell people what we were. You wanna know my problem? My problem is you. You couldn't get over a stupid high school crush. You still aren't over it and it's fucking weak."

You backed away as she got angrier with every word she spat. She hesitated for a moment and inhaled sharply.

"What's weaker is how much I care. I gave a shit about you and you couldn't see that she didn't. I knew about your feelings the whole time. You think I'm dumb? I know you thought of me as a distraction. And I liked being your distraction. But you run away from everything. You're a fucking coward."

You were too shocked to even try to apologize. Your mouth fell open and tears pricked your eyes. Her breathing was ragged and her eyes were big. She blinked several times and the light caught a few wet streaks on her face when she turned her head.

"Hitch, I-"

"Please, don't say anything."

The state of shock you were sent into was broken when a sudden bang sounded outside of the bathroom.

Hitch looked desperate to get out of the situation, so she took the opportunity to bolt out of the bathroom. You took a moment to compose yourself before leaving to assure your friends you were okay.

The moment you stepped out of the bathroom, you stopped dead in your tracks when you were greeted with the jarring sight of Zeke seconds away from being punched in the face.

A man with short black hair was kneeling on Zeke's table with one hand gripping his collar and the other pulled back in fist.

"Zeke Jaeger right? You owe me a lot of money and my wedding ring," the man seethed and punched Zeke hard in the jaw.

He fell to the floor, clutching where he was hit. You stood there, stunned. Just as the man was bringing his leg forward to kick him, your instincts kicked in and you rushed to crouch in front of him. You braced yourself for the impact that never came.

"You'd really kick a woman?" an unfamiliar voice spoke.

You looked up and saw him being held back by a man with a slicked back undercut and a bomber jacket adorned with patches.

Eren and Mikasa were at your side in an instant with the others following closely behind.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" Mikasa put her hands on your shoulders and you nodded. Eren shot you a worried glance while tending to Zeke.

The short man was still being held back by the guy from before, but now someone new was at his side. He looked like bomber jacket dude but with a different hair color and style. He was trying to talk down the black-haired man.

Bomber jacket interrupted, "Look, dude, you're scaring my customers. We don't do that shit in here. One of my waitresses panicked and called the cops. They'll be here soon for you if you don't take this the fuck outside."

"Porco! Watch your language," the brunette hissed. 'Porco' glared at, who you assumed was, his brother.

Eren and Mikasa helped Zeke up and began to lead him out of the restaurant. You and the others followed, except Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt who stayed to talk to the restaurant owners.

Once you had safely gotten outside, you sat Zeke down on a bench. Sasha managed to snag some napkins for his wound.

Everyone except for you, Eren, and Mikasa were seated on the sidewalk. You three were also on the bench.

The door to the restaurant was pushed open and two voices were heard. The short man was walking out and a taller blond man was lingering behind.

He noticed Zeke and stopped his mumbling. He pointed a shaky finger at him and his face contorted into a nasty glare.

"Where's my money, bitch?" he shouted.

"Levi, why don't you calm down before you do something again." The blond man said.

'Levi' scoffed. "I just want my money back. And my wedding ring. Where the fuck is my wedding ring?"

The color drained from Zeke's face. Levi yelled at him again, "Where the fuck is it?"

"I pawned it."

If looks could kill, Zeke would be dead. The pure anger that was displayed on the man's face was enough to make you cower.

"Let me at him!" Levi purged forward and Jean attempted to stop him, but just ended up on the concrete. He pushed past Eren and in the blink of an eye, Zeke was on the ground. He was getting the shit beat out of him in front of your eyes.

Your friends yelled at him to get off. The man who was following him tried to hold him back, but Levi seemed even angrier than he was inside the restaurant. Eren tried pulling Zeke away with help from Mikasa.

Sirens sounded in the distance and you knew they were growing closer with each passing second. The staff hadn't called off the police, you realized. "Guys," you called.

"I'm gonna kill you!"

The sirens were muffled by the yells.

"Stop, Levi!"

They were clearer.

"Get off him!"

They were loud.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Blaring lights could be seen over the hedges.

"Get off my brother!"

"Guys!" you yelled over everyone. You pointed to the police cars that were now pulling into the parking lot.

posted: 9/7/21

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

#aot fanfiction #band au #mikasa ackerman #mikasa x reader #mikasa x you #modern au #snk fanfiction #attack on titan #levi ackerman

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taeslovehandles · 3 years

Note

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

#taeslovehandle asks #do not use this post to cause your own drama #this is me answering honestly.#the topic about this ends here.#please respect this <3

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melodyofthevoid · 3 years

Text

Alright. So I’ve been trying to put together my thoughts on the matter since that post went up. The simplest way to put what happened is this: I got close to them, got uncomfortable, and left. Obviously that is a gross oversimplification but we’ll start from there.

For any of the stuff involving Moo-Ping 10, I would direct you to Ceph and Dana’s posts on the matter. They explain precisely what goes on there. That server is my second home and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Now for the hard part.

I’ll put this below a read more because I don’t want to clog up everyone’s dash with this.

I’ve struggled with how to organize my thoughts on this because there’s a lot happening in my life rn. I just moved back to college today and that post came right as I was trying to enjoy my last night with my parents. It gutted me. Completely and utterly gutted me. Not only were the accusations made towards me entirely either blown wildly out of proportion or made up entirely, but they insulted and accused one of the most welcoming and kind people I know of being heartless cult members.

The “secret server” is absolutely non-existent, the only private server that I’m in with friends is the Zib Pak server, which we only use to discuss au ideas and share art before we go public with it. That’s it. The other servers I’m in also do not participate in bullying of any kind. We may discuss our own personal likes and dislikes, and occasionally get into more heavy topics, but that’s it. We don’t condone bullying or calling out. Point blank. The fact that they were so vague in providing no details or names of any kind is the biggest signal to me that they pulled all of this out of nowhere.

But the biggest thing that hurts me is that they did this publicly. We had discussed our feelings in private, and that was how I had wanted it to stay. Not because of any shame, but because of a situation like this. I wanted to handle it without shaming them, or putting any pressure on them. I’d hoped that that was enough.

But it wasn’t.

To sum up what happened, when mdzadr came back to Tumblr, we began talking, and started a small friendship, at least that’s how I saw it. We’d message a few times a day. Around the time that they invited me to work on a side project I was beginning to reevaluate my comfort zone and boundaries, and eventually it became clear that I couldn’t in good faith work on it. I didn’t feel comfortable working with them anymore. I wouldn’t be putting in a full effort, and that wasn’t fair. Not for something they were passionate about.

However when I expressed this I was pressed for why, and it kept spiraling. It wasn’t fair that they got caught up in my own nonsense, and I understand why they felt betrayed by me. They thought we were becoming close and for me to pull back suddenly... I understand why they were upset. However, that in no way excuses the behavior that they showed towards me afterwards. They accused me, as they did in that post, of not caring for anyone or anything other than myself, of manipulating those close to me, even going so far as to say I led them on romantically despite telling them point blank I am aro/ace and would not return any affections.

Furthermore, after we said our final words, or so I thought, to each other, they sent more to me through other channels, saying that I’m the reason that they’ve deleted their account both times, that they hope I’m happy now because of it. I’m not. I never wanted them to do this, I’d hoped that they would keep creating for themself, even if I wouldn’t interact with it, but that wasn’t the case.

The way in which they referred to me as a Demi-god and a siren, likening me to some higher power is far far removed from who I am. I am a 20 year old college student. I am a human, a person, one who makes mistakes and tries her best.

I have poured my heart and soul into my works and this fandom, I care deeply about my friends, I’ve spent hours on call when they’ve needed help, offered as much support as I could during personal crises, boosted their works to the best of my ability, and to be called heartless, to imply that I’ve never once cared about anyone is an insult to the highest order.

I want to move past this, and I thank everyone who reached out to me. I felt so alone when this started happening, the fact that you’re here means the world to me. If there are any additional questions, dm me, though I’d prefer to move on. This has been honestly fucking awful for me and I’m more than a little drained. This should have, as I said earlier, stayed a private matter. It may be a while before I really make more content again, I have things in the works but it doesn't feel right, not right now, and with school starting up again I have responsibilities.

I hope I was able to get my point across, and again, thank you to everyone who has helped me in any way through this.

#melody rambles #tw discourse #please don't attack anyone for any of this #I just wanted to say my piece #thank you for hearing me out

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beaversatemygrandma · 2 years

Text

I’m thinking of the stupidest thing rn. But the type of straight people i seem to attract around me. Now, it’s not many, lgbt people stick together. You just have a friend group and somehow they’re all lgbt in some way. Just how it works, right? Well. The token straight. Some... aren’t so ‘token’.

Usually the token straight with be some plain super sweet cishet person who accepts literally all of your group and they are the grandest token straight your group could ask for. (My group only ever had one of these. He was a good man.) But outside of the group and just me-wise. Yes, i was the one who adopted that token. But the others i seem to accidentally gather is what i’m talking about.

First example, some incel. All he saw me as was some nerdy girl with a pokemon bag and perfect pickings for potential female to harass. Me being queer as all hell and not up to that shit, ended up hearing him mention ‘she’s like the lesbian i had a crush on and never got to do anything with bc she was gay and i got friendzoned. and she’s not gay!’ I’m queer first of all, not even close on the spectrum to femme. I hate she/her pronouns. Yes, i may be into men, but that didn’t mean i was anywhere near into him. He got cut off rather quick, even if that did happen before my whole pronoun realization.

Then another example. A good friend of mine, yet another incel. But one that at least had the decency to be a good friend to have around. He was also my coworker so i was stuck with him either way. He was fun. I managed to get him to start DND (sadly not as good of a DM as that one guy i was dating who ended up breaking up with me and then living on my couch. Thanks man, you were a piece of shit but a damn good DM) and smash bros nights with my group and had some fun nights all together. Then came the whole thing where i was dating another guy and he was like ‘wow. you’re dating a guy like me.’ which directly translated to ‘oh my god i have a chance’ Key differences between the two included: personal hygiene (bf at the time was very clean, smelled nice, and a wonderful person to cuddle with) and he once went to one of our smash bros nights without deodorant and it was noticeable. Another: his uncomfortable-ness around the gay men in the group. Didn’t help that one got flirty with him when he got drunk at these nights. Tho, kinda funny ngl. Apparently the fact the guy was an incel was a selling point for him and he wanted to be the one to change that. But sadly, he was Painfully Straight. And of course: his need for me to attempt to set him up with my girl friends. Boy jumped in far too quick and far too fast and scared all of them away no matter how much too-honest advice I’d give him. Honestly, very much his fault there. (sorry to those friends. I had faith in him. He failed it.) I still talk to him sometimes but after the comment on how i was dating a guy like him (insult to my ex btw. he was a great damn guy), i just slowly faded away. Last i heard he had been able to get gf and I’m hoping that worked out with the YEARS of advice i’ve given this dude. I hope he’s no longer an incel. I hope that man finally got laid. So then one weird hug when you’re drunk doesn’t turn into an abusive attachment. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about weird ‘token’ straight #2.

Now the rest, weren’t painfully incels. They were odd in their own ways. About half of them were guys i got hooked up with by friends. All of them strange and nerdy ones, which i find oddly cute. Find me picking out the cutest guy at a magic convention. I’ve got a type and it’s far from conventional. All of the ones I dated or hooked up with later ended up coming out as lgbt in some way. (sometimes i wonder if that may have been the case for #2 up there. Maybe my gay roommate could’ve had a chance lmao. But i wasn’t about to take one for the team there. He was close to the type, but nowhere near it at the same time. There’s a fine line and he wasn’t even on that line.) One of my exes from like high school was this strange weeb-type guy. (a lot have made the comparison that I’m like a nerdy anime girl. This started with him. I cringe at this statement nowadays.) All that i think states what that relationship was like. After we broke up, he ended up dating this guy had had known years ago (boy’s toxic, the guy couldn’t even handle him), and then currently has been giving hints at transitioning. Weird person, but i think i’ve got a magic touch here. (*pokes and turns you lgbt* ur welcome) Another before that, about the same situation. He ended up bi and dating a transman for a while. Glad to be a part of that awakening. And even the most recent. He also came out of there bi. Didn’t go in bi, that’s for sure. All of his friends were among the types of guy #1 and 2. I didn’t like them much. And honestly, i think my attraction of him took a hit after guy #2′s comment. I just can’t be interested in some guy who puts as much time into WoW as he does his associates degree. Tho, he almost got me into it too and i would’ve absolutely done it if WoW wasn’t run like some subscription service, maybe instead some $60 mmo game. I would’ve bit if it had been the latter. He did come to me for character creation tho. I enjoyed helping out with that lol This is what has led me to the idea that I am the cause of these men coming to their senses and coming out of the closet. You’re welcome boys (gn).

Anyways. Here i am. Single again. Looking to the person I’ve been talking to the most that isn’t that one good ex. The transwoman with an obsession with rogue-like card games that I’m absolutely enamored with. Who had previously been that guy i hunted down at a magic convention (not literally, we worked together, and i just so happened to go to a game with them. Some interesting stuff. I wish i learned how to play.) All we do is talk about her ideas for a game (likely rogue-like tbh) and me offering to sketch out some ideas for designs, and our whole plan of going wandering through the Appalachian countryside as a vacation whenever they’re allowed away from work for a little while. Our talks make me happy.

And now I’m back to thinking. What the Fuck is up with my type?? Like back in high school, it was quiet kind of stoner guys bc i refused to go into that idea of me liking girls. And most of them turned out to be toxic. Then I’m an adult with a job, i meet this guy who takes me with to a card game and treats me well, and suddenly i realize i’m into soft and nerdy. This Person Made My Type and They Are The One Responsible for This. (*looks right to her* YOU DID THIS) And then i proceed to go home to my mom with that one nice ex, who is very much a result of this type change, and she says ‘i can’t believe you would be with somebody so... big.’ And i’m looking at him like ‘...this guy looks like a young eddie vedder tf do you mean.’ Like nearly 6 foot and 200lbs isn’t ‘oddly fat’ it’s hot as all hell and she’s stuck in the mindset of early diet fads. (hypocritical if you ask me. her husband was this massive redneck with an obvious beer gut. At least my type isn’t ‘cowboy-esque’, which in FL turns into a horribly racist drunk redneck. A common occurrence btw. Mentioned person I’m talking to has the same issue to a T. At least the extra weight on my guy was just kettlecorn during long gaming sessions and not years of deadly liver damage which is likely going to kill him soon. Don’t hate me for that statement: the man’s death is worthy of a crab rave.)

Anyways. I’m worried about the type of men I’ll attract once I get out into this city. I think I’m done here. Here’s to hoping i don’t attract oddly toxic weeb/stoner/incels again. I Have Standards now thx. Still hoping i might be able to pull into some long-distance thing with the one person but we’ve been back and forth on that since we’ve met sooo who knows where that will go. She’s being a bit off about the idea of still having attraction through the transition and i understand that, but with the effect that they’ve got on me, I’m sure literally nothing will change. Either way, my taste in men has gotten pickier. In women? I couldn’t tell you. Every girl i’ve seen is cute, including the new ones. And anything in between? You already won.

#thanks for coming to this ted talk #even if it did devolve into me bugging about my taste in men or literally whatever other gender #taks speaks #i worry about the people i gather sometimes and i love them #btw the eddie vedder comparison was given to me by my dad bc i do not give two shits about the faces behind bands #and i looked him up realizing that its the lead guy from pearl jam. a band i have listened to for years. and im floored #eddie vedder is a one attractive old guy and thats a statement i hope i wont regret #the guy i was dating really did look like a young eddie vedder #this was longer than i wanted so uh sorry

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princessmadafu · 4 years

Text

That Book (excuse the long post)

I didn't want to jump into the fray without first thinking over the published extracts of FF and the various critiques and synopses in the press. I'd just like to send huge thanks to YankeeWallee and everyone that YW herself thanks for the collated screenshots of the excerpts and RoyahNikkah's review. I'll do what the rest of you do and state here that these are my personal opinions and anything quoted comes under "fair usage", etc. Long live free speech!

My over-riding reaction is, what an absolute pile of lies, lies and more lies. Starting with Scobie's sources, of which he says there are at least two per nugget of information. I believe most of the book has come directly or indirectly from MM herself, and that any "sources" have MM's blessing, sanction or outright order to disclose. FaceTiming in the bath? How would Scobie know? Unless he was in the bath with her, this can only have come from herself or the friend being FaceTimed. There is too much of a highly personal nature for it to be Scobie's own investigative work. So there's the first lie, straight from the weirdly-toothy Sussexy horse's mouth; of course she collaborated!

Some of us had our reservations right from the start of Harry and MM's relationship, but we were prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt and join in the welcome of a biracial, divorced American actress. Right-wing, left-wing, a-political or not-royally-bothered, we all thought, Let's give the pair a chance to see what they can do.

How about this article from Spiked on the engagement of Harry & MM from 2017:

Meghan Markle: Generation Woke's Princess Diana - spiked

"...look no further than the fawning response to the engagement of Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle – one of those rare occasions in which both the Telegraph editorial team and the identity-politics set erupted in simultaneous celebration."

How quickly the celebration wore off as the pair of them squandered our goodwill. Another article from Spiked from July 2019, less than two years later, is harsher, when we've all been insulted, preached at and condemned as racists by PH&MM:

Meghan Markle is the worst kind of snob - spiked

"With the possible exception of a few sad social outcasts, no one has a problem with the fact that Meghan’s mum just happens to be black. No, Meghan is criticised for being snobby, elitist, hopelessly out of touch and possessing all the self-awareness of a flea. It’s not Meghan’s skin colour that annoys people, but the fact that she thinks nothing of donning an outfit that costs more than most people in the UK earn in a year and then getting her minders to order the public not to take photos of her. [...] There are heaps of reasons for people not just to criticise Meghan and Harry, but to ridicule their hypocrisy and puncture their pomposity. And not one involves the colour of Meghan’s skin. Meghan comes in for criticism because she is the worst kind of snob who condescends to tell others not just what to do, but also what to think. The fact that she is biracial is completely irrelevant. Of course, there is an obvious solution for Harry and Meghan if they do not like the public attention and criticism. Harry could denounce his claim to the throne. They could give up the titles, move out of the palaces and fund their own lifestyle. I can’t for the life of me imagine why they don’t."

Prescient, no? Six months later and they announce they're off. She played him like a fiddle. The raptures she went into over Botswana and wanting the spend the summer? Did she feed his fantasies of moving to Africa permanently? How strange that Africa became Canada, which then became Los Angeles? Strange my perky little bottom! She had this planned all along. I don't know if PH is with her over there, but she certainly seems to be feeding the illusion that she is now Hollywood Royalty. If she couldn't cut real Royalty, she definitely won't cut the LaLaLand version which is a lot less restrained in voicing its opinions of jumped-up wannabes. Especially the Markly ones who cut, dump, run and show no loyalty or staying power.

The following points, in no particular order, are mostly from an assortment of DM writers and comments from members of the public.

"The book claims the so-called ‘old guard’ tried to undermine the couple and ‘were concerned that the global interest in and popularity of the Sussexes needed to be reined in’." A little self-aggrandisement here, possibly? Global interest, maybe, of the rubber-necking car crash variety, but global popularity? When was that, exactly? Royal staff are all well aware that the purpose of the Royals is to support HMTQ; that is their job. If the Sussexes needed reining in at all, it was because they weren't doing their job properly.

"Harry and Meghan believed ‘few inside the palace were looking out for their interests’ and felt that most courtiers could not be trusted with their sensitive information." Ditto, the courtiers' job is to look out for the interests of HMTQ; PH&MM's job was to look out for the interests of HMTQ, not themselves.

"They believed that these ‘men in grey suits’ were stifling their attempts to launch their initiatives, and when they tried to air these frustrations ‘the conversations didn’t lead anywhere’." I mean, come on! PH is 6th in line. He knows that. There is no "they" involved here - it's all MM again, isn't it, thinking she's more important because she's more popular and she famously gets what she wants... She thought she could snap her fingers and make whatever she wanted happen. She ignored the hierarchy and the protocols, and probably (I suspect) got dimwit Harry believing that she knew best, and that together they could change the world.

"One source said Harry felt that some of the old guard at the palace ‘simply didn’t like Meghan and would stop at nothing to make her life difficult’." I can well believe that staff at the palace didn't like her - she showed her true colours quite early on - but deliberately making her life difficult? I suspect this is what MM told Harry. Twisted the truth, naturally. I'm guessing she made a few ridiculous OTT demands, or wanted some unworkable project, and the staff, knowing their jobs as they do, tried to point out the flaws in her ideas, prevent her making a fool of herself, or otherwise politely protect her from herself. Goodness knows, she made a fool of herself often enough, barging in front and all that...

"The book concludes that Meghan was ‘totally foreign’ to this group of advisers, who ‘could sometimes be even more conservative than the institution they guarded’." They were guarding an institution with over a thousand years of history from someone with neither understanding of nor respect for British history, the Monarchy, or the duties of the RF; and she made no effort to learn.

"Another insider said: ‘The fact is that Meghan was welcomed with open arms and everyone did their best to offer their help about how to navigate such a tricky public role – advice she would often choose to ignore." The arrogance of the woman! And she was welcomed. She just believed that she knew best.

"Omid Scobie said Meghan’s high-profile career as an actress and the fact that she was a divorcee left her ‘ripe for exploitation’." High-profile career, mwah! Actress, mwah! Divorcee, so what? Charles and Camilla are both divorce/es, Anne is a divorcee, so is Andrew, and a whole bunch of other lesser royals. As for being ripe for exploitation, I think we all know how this panned out and MM wasn't the one being exploited! Far from it. She milked every opportunity and opening her new title and her new husband could bring her.

"During one of their final engagements as senior royals, Meghan was ‘purposefully snubbed’ by Kate in front of a global TV audience, the authors claim." Well now, where to start on this one? MM threw a hissy fit because she wasn't allowed to walk in the procession with HMTQ, C&C and DDoC. The DDoC decided to appease MM by pulling out of the procession and taking their seats. Now I don't know what DDoC thought about that but I can just imagine them comparing MM's behaviour with that of their own beautifully behaved kids. I can just imagine them thinking thank God she'll be gone soon! I doubt there was any purposeful snubbing at the service but MM has no manners and no idea how to behave, not even in church. The DDoC are too well brought-up to "carry on" in a place of worship, nor would they lean across seats for a happy little chat, just a quick turn round for a friendly word with Edward and Sophie immediately behind them before the arrival of C&C and HMTQ. Churches are not places to be gossiping and grinning inanely, and you definitely don't push your way through the chairs when the service is over! She is so rude and ill-mannered.

"The book claims Meghan and Kate’s ‘cordial but distant rapport’ was apparent when the pair appeared alongside each other at the King Power Royal Charity Polo Day last summer." I don't remember the dates exactly, but I should think by this time DoC was well and truly fed up with MM's shenanigans; the doe-eyes she'd been pulling at PW, the rumours she and the SS had been fanning about PW and une petite liaison with a long-time friend... Cordial but distant was probably the best MM could hope for at this stage; DoC was hardly about to play Happy Families with the troublemaker.

"The couple were dismayed when no photograph of them and their son Archie was displayed during the Queen’s Christmas speech last year." It was quite clear that the photos on display represented the direct line of succession, from HMTQ's father through to her great-grandson - five generations of the Monarchy. I truly believe that MM wanted to "modernise" the RF to such an extent that PH would be elected King! With MM at his side, dripping in all the jewels she could get her greedy mitts on! I realise it must be hard for PH to get to grips with his status as "Pretty Much Relegated Former Spare", but she must have been really feeding his insecurities if she got him upset about the absence of a photograph.

"Prince Harry was the first to say 'I love you' in his relationship with Meghan Markle, with friends revealing the couple were 'immediately obsessed' with each other, according to the latest extract of a bombshell biography." Oooh, how would Scobie know something as intimate as this? Immediately obsessed with each other, I can well believe; MM with his status, title, money, the palaces, the jewels... and she reeled him into her fantasy world with lies and perfectly posed KamaSutra yoga until he was obsessed with this chameleon woman, at the same time both mother-figure and hot, sexy, adoring, sophisticated, intelligent, humanitarian animal lover. Oh the lies, the lies; "Will you walk into my parlour, said the Spider to the Fly."

"They enjoyed a romantic dinner, with staff taking great pains to ensure their privacy, whisking them in through a staff entrance usually used to bring in fish discreetly." This is their second date at SoHo House, and again, how would Scobie know little details unless MM had told him herself? I like the hint of shade by the writer noting that the entrance was used to bring in fish discreetly - there's definitely something fishy about MM!

How about some comments from DM readers?

"Every single shameless self-serving tabloid "leak" and publicity stunt she has orchestrated has backfired specularly. Hence why Harry has gone from beloved military man and active working Royal to a national embarrassment within two short years! Her efforts at aggressive self-promotion are no match for her lack of talent or perspective in that area. She could have heeded advice from other, more dedicated Royals, but No. Meghan knew better and decided that she was deserving of instant worship fit for her 'celebrity' expectations. The Duchess of Cambridge has earned respect over years with quiet dedication to her causes. Meghan felt entitled to all the glory instantly, and was clearly slighted to learn that respect is not something to be commanded. She is a culture vulture with no respect or understanding of the very people that she promised to represent." [Jace T Adams]

"The narrative of the relationship is laughable. Everyone knows they first met in Canada when Harry was there for Invictus. He needed a girl for the night and Meghan was arranged for him. She must have been impressive as they had a date the next day and the rest is history." [Lady M]

"You can't work with someone you don't trust and these two have proven untrustworthy." [ellegrav]

I have no inside information on any of above, but people better placed than I am are making similar judgments on the contents of FF; people who've spent their working lives following and reporting on the RF.

"The Queen’s former press secretary Dickie Arbiter told the Mail: ‘I think it has their fingerprints all over it. We had a similar scenario in 1992 when Diana swore blind she hadn’t helped Andrew Morton and yet a year later it came out that she had indirectly helped him so history is repeating itself. ‘There are too many things that we have seen in the serialisation that could only come from the horse’s mouth, like deciding to gatecrash Sandringram when they landed from Canada."

And Jan Moir: JAN MOIR on the Meghan and Harry biography that has put ...

What did the pair of them want or expect? Top billing, it seems. What is remarkable is that Harry’s whole life and entire upbringing have been devoted and calibrated to him being a prince. Surely he understands how it works? Surely he could have explained the system to his vexed new bride? Primarily, that being royal is a form of active service, with ranks and a hierarchy so uncomplicated that schoolchildren throughout the realm understand the line of succession and its importance to the Windsors — and to us.

And Robert Hardman: ROBERT HARDMAN: Harry and Meghan are ... - dailymail.co.uk

Yet Finding Freedom is a struggle against protocol and seating plans. It is based on the perceived unfairness of a pecking order which has governed — and preserved — the monarchy for 1,000 years.

We can't all be wrong!

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tsukkiscake · 4 years

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what goes on || tsukki x reader || ch. 2

so here’s chapter two! please send me an ask if you want to be on the taglist! i might update this frequently in the beginning and then slow down as i go back to school. i’ll AT LEAST update once a week, but most likely more than that! also, i think each chapter is going to be named after a beatles song. i didn’t mean to incorporate the beatles so much, i was just listening to my beatles playlist as i listened and it fit really well 😳 an KNEE WAYZ! here is ch. 2!

word count: 1k

ch. 1 || ch. 3

During your middle school years, you were always in advanced classes. This meant being in class with some of the same kids every year. Tsukishima Kei was one of them. You guys had been in the same class for all of middle school. At the end of your last semester of middle school, you hear Tsukishima and another one of your classmates, Yamaguchi Tadashi, discussing their plans to attend Karasuno High School. Looks like another year of Tsukishima for you. This year, you were determined to become at least his friend. This was proving to be a lot harder than you originally intended.

Chapter Two: Getting Better

The first week of school went by far too quick. Even though Tsukishima was your seatmate, and even though you were eating lunch with him and Yamaguchi, he spoke a total of four words to you in the first week.

“You dropped your pencil,” Tsukishima said to you on Thursday morning. He handed your pencil back to you and went back to his stoic self. You stated your thanks, but you weren’t sure if he listened to you.

On Monday of the second week of school, you were starting to doubt your plan to befriend that rude, walking beanstalk. However, you were beginning to become better friends with Yamaguchi, which made you wish to be friends with Tsukishima even more.

You were the first person to get to class this morning. You walked to your seat by the window, setting down your bag and putting your headphones on. You played another Beatles song. Your mom introduced you to them when you were little so the music comforted you and made you feel all warm. Today's song was Getting Better.

I've got to admit it's getting better (Better)

A little better all the time (It can't get no worse)

I have to admit it's getting better (Better)

It's getting better

Since you've been mine

You closed your eyes and leaned back in your chair, waiting for the day to begin. When you felt someone's presence next to you, you opened your eyes and peeked over to see Tsukishima sitting down, Yamaguchi standing next to his desk. You removed your headphones when Yamaguchi waved at you.

“Morning (Y/N)!” Yamaguchi said, enthusiastically for 8:25 in the morning.

“Morning Yamaguchi,” you replied, sleepily.

“Have you joined any clubs yet (Y/N)?” Yamaguchi asked. Most people tended to join their clubs within the first couple of weeks of school.

You shook your head, signifying you hadn’t found a club yet. “I just don’t know what I want to do. In middle school, I was a part of the swim club, but my times just haven’t been improving so I don’t think I’m going to join the team here. I was thinking about maybe the science club though!”

“Me and Tsukki play volleyball! We had our first practices last week and our first three-v-three match this past Saturday,” Yamaguchi said, smiling.

“You guys play volleyball? That’s so cool! In middle school I almost joined the girls volleyball club, but I went with the swim club instead. I just love how weightless I feel in the water,” you stuck your arms out to either side, mimicking floating on your back in a pool. “It makes sense that you guys play volleyball though! Yamaguchi you look almost six feet tall, while Mr. Beanpole over here is well over the six foot mark. Right, Mr. Beanpole?” You asked Tsukishima, teasingly.

He huffed slightly. “At least I’m not a runt like you.”

Your jaw dropped. Not because he insulted your height, but because Tsukishima finally talked to you. You began to laugh.

“EVERYONE is a runt to you! You tower over literally everyone in our year! If I hadn’t known you from middle school, I definitely would’ve thought you were some third year in a first-year class!”

Tsukishima glared at you while Yamaguchi tried to hide his laughter.

“Anyways, I’m glad you can actually talk, Tsukishima-san. This past week it’s been like I’ve been talking to a wall,” you laugh again, Yamaguchi smiling too.

“Of course I can talk. I just choose not to talk to annoying runts,” he shrugged his shoulders and put his headphones on. You just laughed in response to this, glancing up at Yamaguchi.

“Don’t worry, (Y/N), Tsukki is like this with all of his friends.”

You smiled at what Yamaguchi said. He called you Tsukki’s friend. Hopefully, this could be the beginning of an actual friendship.

_______________________________________

Every morning, you got to class before Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. You would wait for the two of them to appear and you’d have a friendly conversation with Yamaguchi while Tsukishima sat there with his headphones on. You used to get a little annoyed that Tsukishima would just ignore you and Yamaguchi like that, but one day while Tsukishima was in the bathroom during break, Yamaguchi told you a little secret.

“Tsukki isn’t always listening to music when his headphones are on. If the people around him are having a conversation, he’ll turn his music off and listen in. He just doesn't talk a lot.” You laughed a little at this, it made perfect sense. It was a way for Tsukishima to not have to participate in the conversation, but still be able to be a part of it.

After Yamaguchi told you this, you started to engage more with Tsukishima, even with his headphones on; doing small things, such as directing little comments towards him or asking him questions.

One morning you asked him, "Tsukki, what kind of music do you listen to?"

"Don't call me that, Runt. And I listen to everything," Tsukishima huffed in response. You sighed, Tsukishima just loved not telling you anything about himself.

You, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima were becoming a pretty close bunch. It was about a month since school began, and you ate lunch with them everyday, as well as hung out with them during class breaks.

It was almost May now. The weather was turning more mild, but the evenings and early mornings were still cold.

You had your hands in the pockets of your school jacket and your headphones on this morning, as you walked towards the homeroom for class 1-4. You had a small skip in your step as you listened to Good Day Sunshine, once again by the Beatles.

Good day sunshine

I need to laugh, and when the sun is out

I've got something I can laugh about

I feel good, in a special way

As you enter the threshold of your classroom, you noticed Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are already there. You took off your headphones.

“Good morning, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima!” You smiled and walked their way. As you approached your seat, you noticed a small, crumpled note on your desk. It looked a lot like your own pastel stationery. You put your things down and picked up the note. It read;

‘How was your spring break Tsukishima-san?

-(L/N)(Y/N) :)’

But there’s a new addition, written in Tsukishima’s neat handwriting.

‘Fine. Runt.’

hehe i hope you guys liked chapter two! remember, send me an ask/dm if you wanna be on the taglist!

here’s a link to my extensive beatles playlist if you wanna vibe while you read: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6HA7Jan0UWD4tFmYQJ612e?si=B9cfGlplQZu7cZjH_5T-sQ

maybe i’ll make a playlist just for this fic when it has enough songs mentioned in it hehe

taglist: @mitiyou

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu-hcs #haikyuu fic #haikyu #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima fic #tsukishima #haikyuu tsukki #tsukki x reader #i love tsukki so much please let me kith him #what goes on fic

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jidai · 3 years

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jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao.

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do.

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN. I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart.

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks 🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee.

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao.

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what--

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

#for mutuals #mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO #this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks #it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess

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writingsfromstarfleet · 4 years

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Not On Our Watch - Julian and Garak X Reader

A/N: This is for a lovely lil Anon, who mentioned that they were going through it a little. Whoever you are, remember you’re always loved, and should you need anyone, my DMs are always open for a chat. I hope this is what you needed and that you enjoy it, big hugs your way, Anon! :) x

Joining Starfleet, you were expecting to have a career filled with exciting prospects, travel and experiences that were all brand new to you. All this, you got. What you didn't expect, was to pick up two people along the way who you now could never envisage a life without.

On your first day on Deep Space Nine, the first person you met was the doctor aboard the station, Julian Bashir. He was, to say the least, enthusiastic about having someone new arrive. Quickly, the two of you bonded and talked for what seemed like forever. The similarities kept coming. He was kind, as doctors always were, and he was beyond pleasant. Julian slowly became the one person you always went to with problems.

Shortly after, Julian had introduced you to someone else he new, Deep Space Nine's resident Cardassian, Elim Garak. Not known for being the most social man, you were absolutely awestruck that he kept conversation flowing with you once Julian got you talking. Garak was fascinating, a truly remarkable man with so many stories to tell, each time keeping you guessing as to the real truth of it all. An enigma, so it were, and you were utterly drawn in.

Between the two of them, you had found solidarity, even in your darkest times. Julian and Garak were always there for you, never once faltering in their promise to keep you safe. If ever you had a problem, you knew who to go and find. They had their own ways of dealing with it, too.

Julian was forward, his way of comfort consisted more of talking you through it, either by telling you a story to give you something to focus on, or just talking you through your day in attempt to ground you. He could read you like a book. Julian always knew what you needed, whether it was a cuddle and a shoulder to cry on (in the literal sense) or a silent companion so you felt less alone.

Garak was less talkative, having had his own experiences with mental issues. He knew you just as well as Julian, however, though Garak tended to lean towards a cuddle rather than a chat. He never was much of a talker, after all. Should you have needed it, however, he would tell you the stories you loved, all about his life on Cardassia, and his adventures as 'a tailor.' Garak never imagined he would care so much for someone, but you were like a little sibling to him, and he vowed nothing would ever harm you.

Today, was one of those days. Everything was wrong, anxieties were high, and sadness was topping the charts. You didn't know why, but the galaxies felt like they were against you. Managing to do absolutely everything wrong in your day, you asked your senior if he could excuse you for a break, to which he agreed. You made your way to Quark's, dragging your feet along the Promenade.

"So what do you think is wrong with Y/N, Garak?" Julian asked, as they walked to their lunch together a little behind yourself. You were so deep in thought, you hadn't noticed them.

"I don't know, doctor. Though I think we should find out."

The two sped up, bypassing the cafe they always stopped at. Right now, to them, you were all that mattered. Lunch could wait.

"Y/N," you slowed ever so slightly as Julian's voice pulled you from your thoughts. "Is everything alright, you don't look the best at the minute." His voice was soft and kind, and you looked up at him.

"It's a day." He nodded in understanding. You felt Garak place a gentle hand on your shoulder, making you turn to him.

"May we join you at the bar, my dear? I wouldn't feel right leaving you to sit alone." Smiling, you replied with a yes. Garak's words seemed innocent enough to outside ears, but you knew their meaning. He didn't mean physically alone; he meant alone with your thoughts.

Garak knew you suffered with less than positive thoughts from time to time, and they got a bit much for you at certain points. However, once he had told you about his struggles through life with the same thing, and his phobias to match, you found a sort of safe space with him to talk about things such as that. Not that you didn't trust Julian, of course, that was hardly the case. But, Garak just got it. No question, nothing. He understood it all immediately, and always had the right thing to say, or the right technique to overcome it.

Sitting down in a quiet area, far from anyone else, you sat in silence, though not an awkward one. Julian had his hand wrapped around yours, and Garak placed a comforting hand on your knee.

"So what's wrong?" Julian's voice was low, but caring, and you welled up.

"I-I don't even know. I just feel.. awful."

"Well, we can't be having our little fighter feeling awful can we, doctor?" Garak spoke, and Julian nudged your shoulder with a faint laugh. You smiled and exhaled through your nose in a slight form of a laugh.

"Not on our watch, that's for sure. How about a games night, or something relaxing? Just the three of us, we can watch those old movies from Earth's 21st century that you like. If you want to hear Garak complaining non stop, that is-"

"I never complain, I merely analyse-"

"Complain, Garak, you complain."

Garak merely huffed in response. You burst out laughing, the two men joining in with you, knowing their plan worked. Over your shoulder, they smiled at one another, finally knowing you were feeling somewhat better.

"You two honestly, you're like old ladies at times" you spoke between laughs, and Julian mocked insult, gasping dramatically.

"Me? And old lady? I have never heard such things in all my life." He pushed you away gently and pressed the back of his hand against his head, falling to the table in mock offence. Garak chimed in.

"If I am to be an old lady, would I at least be a fabulous old lady?" By now, you were in a fit of giggles entirely.

"You're both my fabulous old ladies." The three of you were relaxed, and happy, the atmosphere really brightening your mood.

"Hey," Julian started, getting a little more serious. "No more bad feelings, alright? Not on our watch. You're insanely wonderful and completely brilliant, and never would we allow you to feel as though that weren't true."

"Julian is right, Y/N. You are our favourite little human and if you're sad, so are we. And we don’t do sad around here. Let's be happy, best thing you can be in times like that."

You sniffed, their words sitting with you for a while, finally smiling up at them both.

"You're always right, aren't you? What would I do without you, hey? I love you immeasurably, the both of you."

"As do we, you, Y/N." Julian replied, pulling you into a side hug.

"Indeed, he does love you" Garak joked, sending you a look letting you know that he was indeed joking.

"Garak!"

The three of you laughed once more. It was true; you didn't know what you would do without them. They made you laugh, even in times where it was the last thing you wanted to do. Never did you think you would have such people in your life as Julian and Garak, let alone have them care so much about you. Knowing you had them, and that they weren't going anywhere anytime soon, you realised anything was possible, boundaries were conquerable, and life was far better than you knew possible.

#tw: mental health #tw: anxiety #star trek #star trek imagine #star trek x reader #star trek deep space nine #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #ds9 rp #julian bashir #julian bashir x reader #julian bashir imagine #elim garak #garak x reader #garak imagine #x reader #imagine #platonic

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years

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I’m writing this fic about the Batfamily and I’m afraid of writing them as OOC. If you are able to, could you please give some tips on each of the Batfam’s personalities and characteristics? To specify, Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Cass, Babs, Damian, and Duke are the characters I’m using. It would be really helpful! Thank you!!

This is a tricky question, because I don’t know the story of your fic to help you in any specific way. So if after this you wanna DM me for more specific help on how to work things out, I’ll be there to help you right away unless I’m doing something, but I have no plans.

I’m going to go from easiest for me to do to least easiest, because I obviously know Tim the best, but even then, it’s hard, because going off the character’s you are choosing, it’s set during the part of the timeline were he went OOC, but I’ll do my best just to say his general character so you can use that as a base for things. Like how he was developed in his origin and all that, and notable characteristics he’s had as he grew while still in character. With some that even if they weren’t around with some of those characters, would apply to them.

His is also going to be the longest, like way too long, because he’s a way more nuanced and complex character than anyone ever gives him credit for. So he takes a lot longer to explains by a freaking large margin. Like sorry if it’s too big, I just kept saying more as more came to mind because I feel like his nuances are what makes him interesting and easy to right. Once you get a hang of his nuances, and you get used to it, it makes it easier to put yourself into his mindset to how he works, which makes him easier to write as well.

(THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY LONG POST, AND I APOLOGIZE. I just really wanted to be thorough and give contexts to stuff. It’s less of tips and more of an overly long description of what I know about each character and what’s in-character and what’s not going off of how the character’s were developed to be, and not counting the out of character writing. So really sorry about this being so freaking long)

Tim:

Tim’s origin right off the back is having met Dick at a very very young age, I don’t think he could even strongly walk yet, so I’mma say three. He was instantly attached to Dick, he just admired him instantly just for giving him affection. He was his hero. But he was also there the day Dick’s parents died, which traumatized Tim and gave him nightmares for years. But being able to remember that night so thoroughly, he remembered a specific move that Dick could do that very few could, and that’s how he found out Dick was Batman, and logically, Bruce Wayne was Batman.

There’s a large misconception that as a little kid, Tim followed Batman and Robin around, but that was not the case. At least not physically and literally followed them around. Closest being when I believe he happened to come across Batman in his origin story, and purposely did his best detective work to figure out where Dick would be.

As shown several times but most strongly in his origin, but wasn’t as strong the more he went on, he’s sort of socially oblivious to what’s considered normal or not, or what other people are thinking of him.

For instance he just knocked on Starfire’s and Dick’s apartment, asked Kori (Starfire) if Dick was home because he needed his help, and when she said no, just bolted even when Kori asked his name. Just concerning the crap out of her. Even when he first met Dick, he just wouldn’t say his name because “NO TIME”, he just squirmed around place to place on his bike being completely oblivious of himself. In his first miniseries he searches up information on Clyde (a former government agent he saved and befriends) that he shouldn’t have, unaware that that’d obviously be crossing a line for some people. Even taking his girlfriend to a car show, where there was a lot of bikini models around, and it didn’t even occur to him what it’d look like he was there for. He was just genuinely bubbly to see the cars.

He doesn’t do any of those sorts of things out of malice, he’s always just presented as being incredibly oblivious of himself quite a bit. Most likely from not having his parents around that much as his childhood progressed, and typically just living in boarding schools, or with a nanny. So he didn’t really developed right as one interpretation, and another being (that was actually almost confirmed if it wasn’t for Tim getting a writer before another could say it) is that he’s on the Autism spectrum. Which is technically verified, as he has many symptoms of Asperger’s. But that isn’t technically canon, as it never got to be officially said. But it’s valid enough.

Tim’s main strength is his detective work, he also knows how to use a computer to his advantage. Many modern comics act as if Tim is a master hacker who could hack into anything. But he actually mostly used them for detective work, and small hack jobs, some of which he failed. He seemed to have learned more about hacking from Barbara, or at least some what implied, as Babs let him help her build a big computer, or something of that sort.

He also took karate as a kid, and is implied to have also taken gymnastics. It’s stated that he’s actually really good at gymnastics by Alfred in Tim’s origin, but his fighting skills, despite the karate lessons he had previously taken, isn’t as good as the others. Hence his staff, and having to be clever in how he goes about a fight.

How Tim operates as far as emotionally or mentally depends too. Sometimes he’ll go straight from the heart and get himself in trouble, but other times he’ll take his time to really plan something out for himself on the spot. It depends on how his emotions are at the time. If he was just picked on or beat up, he’ll be more agitated, and if something really really bad that happened, he just go so far in he just beats the crap out of everyone as bad as he can. As shown by trying to apprehend someone that shot someone he knew at school, or Batman betraying his trust (in an honestly out of character story). If he’s calmer though, or at least doing his best to be, he’ll use his brain more before he starts. I think his talents in planning have been overstated for ages, because while he’s good at it, he’s not exactly the greatest or overall good. Just enough to work fine enough to get the job done.

One of his biggest mental weakness’s, is his constant insecurity. Somethings that’s so constantly on his mind is letting someone down, rather it be Batman or his dad Jack, or even Nightwing, or his team. The reason why Tim acted so different and more of a seriously brooding personality in Young Justice, was because he was so insecure about not having powers that he thought he had to push himself to his limits. So he used some Batman leadership tactics, and fought harder than he ever fought before just to seem like he was even worth having around. When by himself though, it’s more of a sadness, an upset feeling in his gut. Tim has anxiety about things, rather or not he’s good enough. He’s not a super confident person when it comes to himself. He doesn’t think much of him.

One editorial person answering fan questions in the back of comics as they used to, even described Tim as meek. He doesn’t brag or think much of himself as super according to it.

He’s also stated and shown to be internally scared quite a bit, even shaking when he first got his own Robin suit. Another occasion saying the cold water might excuse his shivering. Which goes along with his anxiety.

Another thing about him that is more low-key and not as noticed, is how Tim, even though he clearly thinks of himself as a kid, heck even the letter column above says so, he has also said since being Robin he’s never had time to be a kid. But he is also still a kid.

As they specified his voice a bit more, he tended to use heck, Holy crud, dang, fudge, weenie, and even Pus Bucket (a reference to Ghost Busters) as his choice of cussing (if that even remotely counts).

And even if it’s not noticeable at first, is shown as having a secret teddy bear that he kept hidden under his mattress so I assume no one would see it.

He’s also a pretty innocent kid despite what all he sees. His mind doesn’t go to the gutter. He trusts people far faster than he should, even trusting Lady Shiva, the world’s most dangerous woman and know criminal right away.

Even Tim’s step-mother saying so out-loud. Showing that this is also the case in his personal life as well.

It also goes along with his social obliviousness. This stuff being rounded into not having any street smarts, which was a main theme for Tim directly in his first miniseries. As well as being naive.

Of course as life went on that wasn’t the case as much, but in the above screenshot, Dana (his step-mom) is saying that as Tim is already 16.

Tim in-general also being a super hero fanboy. As a kid he watched the news, clipped out the papers on them, collected, and even drew his own Batman art (and potentially) others to put on his wall.

Tim’s general behavior while socializing also depends on his emotions at the time. He’s normally very nice and friendly, when not super depressed or down on himself he’s bubbly. But he’s also still a kid, he can pout when he’s hurt, and passive aggressive to people he doesn’t like. Examples being, literally not listening to a jock that picks on his friends, an over-arrogant jerk he met in France, and even Steph because she kept being reckless and flirting with him when he didn’t like it.

Nothing straight up insults, but just generally passive aggressive, give them a clue he doesn’t like them very much even if it never worked. He just wants them to go away, unless they’re a straight up bully. Tim, if it’s no one he specifically knows that will invade his personal life, will beat up bullies. He really can’t stand a bully.

Another thing about Tim is that even though he’s an introvert typically, he’s also not very shy. A shy kid wouldn’t travel miles on a bike (and I freaking hope busses) to meet someone he barely knows because he believes in Batman needing a Robin. He also stands up to bullies, and unless he’s really uncomfortable could talk to about anyone. He even slept in only his briefs and undershirt in the house of someone he doesn’t know, with two people he also barely knows. With that example also probably adding up to the socially oblivious part of his personality.

As far as his relationships go, he canonically thinks of the Bat-Family as his family. Dick calls Tim his little brother, Babs treats Tim as her baby brother as well as acting like his/ Aunt/ Mom depending on the situation (I think Tim fell asleep on her couch after eating pizza while using his cape as a blanket and drooling. So Mom’s a stretch but still), Bruce is his distant but still father figure, Alfred is his grandpa (who he actually plays video games with), even Cass to an extent treating Tim as a baby brother as well.

He is very much the baby of the family. And Tim talks to them about personal stuff (bar Cass cause he was scared of her in the beginning), most of them from Alfred and Dick, to the mute hunchback in the Batcave Harold (who is a real character and I love him). He was always collecting advice from where ever he could get it.

He’s also intensely morally operated. He hates killing. He said he took an oath to let himself be killed before ever killing, getting PTSD from feeling responsible for a death, and even crying when he had genuinely thought Bruce killed someone.

As far as how he tries to present himself, he is constantly doing his best to take everything as seriously as he can, even shunning himself when he starts to stop taking things as serious, he wants to be seen as serious, trustworthy, and reliable desperately so he doesn’t let anyone down. He is constantly hard of himself, and is always trying to be what he thinks Batman wants him to be. Which is were a lot of his anxieties from. Even trying to think of what Batman or Dick would do because he regards them so highly. Even calling Bruce the great man he’s ever known I believe during one of his post-origin pre-Robin appearances.

He’s naive and oblivious of himself, as well as childish in some areas (I think his nanny yelled at him once for it), but overall what he tries to hardest at is taking everything seriously as possible, and using his brain as much as he can. He may not be the most mature, often actually handling situations very immaturely, but he does his best to at least seem like he’s mature, and to an extent he actually can be genuinely very mature, or at least as much as a naive oblivious child can be.

Dick:

This ones a lot shorter probably, because I don’t read him as much, but still have a good handle on him.

I think he’s a character very few always write correctly, because they ride too much into the friendly, compassionate guy. Which, compassion being his main motivator in how he goes about as much as he can, and he’s incredibly friendly, he’s also a very angsty and angry person deep down.

He’s a perfectionist, a trait fics tend to give to Tim more, but actually belongs to Dick. He gets really hard on himself when he thinks he messed something up badly, having nightmares over it, he doesn’t like himself when he messes up something badly. And even if he’s not a naturally angry person, when he is angry, he can be VERY VERY angry.

And until Batman writers in the early 00s started it, I wouldn’t even had considered him all that chatty. He had some jokes in him, was very light hearted when not in distress or mad, but as he was developed by Marv Wolfman, who basically created the Dick that has remained the base for him ever since, he was relatively a generally calm guy when he wasn’t emotional.

He was polite, a charming guy, the type of person you want to bring home to your parents basically. He dressed well. Did his best to keep people accommodated.

He wasn’t a goofy, constant jokester that’d talk your ear off or keep begging for hugs.

He’s not that kind of guy. He’s just a gentlemen.

He’s also not that much of a thot. He’s a “wait till it’s right” sort of guy when it comes to sex.

He’d do anything in the world he could to make sure his friends felt right too, and that they were okay.

But all this doesn’t mean he’s not just a one note personality. Depending on how bad he feels like he messed up, he’ll distance himself from people, stop caring as much about his appearance, get more violent and mean. He also doesn’t take well to Batman’s nonsense, he’s probably the person he got specifically mad at the most. He didn’t like the way Batman went about stuff after a while. He had complicated feelings towards him.

Despite people nowadays just thinking of Dick being Batman’s son officially, adopted, end of. That wasn’t exactly their relationship. Dick had a complicated relationship with Bruce. Part of him looked at Bruce as a big brother, and another half a dad, and he wasn’t even adopted, just a ward. Something that Dick was actually quite insecure about, till apparently he got adopted as a grown adult man (which I dunno is true or an edit, but I’ve seen it somewhere).

Dick’s relationship with Tim is pure big bro baby bro. He was very protective of Tim, calling him the closest thing to a brother he ever had, and little brother, before they were ever even officially brothers. He’d push Tim out of the way in times of big trouble, make him stand back, ruffled his hair all the time, and loved teasing him. But when they started off, Dick just sort of thought Tim was a weird annoying kid, given that Tim was acting so screwy during his origin, Dick really didn’t know what to make of him, but the closer they got, they got very very close. Dick cared a lot about Tim a ton once they got accommodated. Tim would even call Dick on the phone just to talk to him about anything from his day to his problems. Tim could count on Dick to help when ever he could. Tim was Dick’s dweebie baby brother who he took care of when needed. Even teaching Tim how to wash clothes personally since Tim didn’t have a clue.

I don’t think him and Jason really had a relationship. He gave him a number to talk about stuff like Robin angst, and a few pics show they hanged out at least once or twice, but nothing suggests they were close. It seems like Dick was hard on himself, because Jason died before they could get close. After the Red Hood, Dick’s just kind of a-- dick to Jason, and Tim was too, but I don’t consider that in-character. Neither Tim nor Dick would be even remotely okay about the killing, but I can’t picture them treating him like he’s a joke and less than trash. Too much emotional baggage there. Tim would be distant to Jason, and Dick would be uncomfortable and conflicted. That’s my guesses on a more accurate relationship.

Dick’s always had a really big crush on Babs ever since he was a kid to the point they were stuck in a small area together and Dick lost dignity over-- I dunno, puberty effecting him. There’s no way I can put that that’s comfortable. But Dick has a crush on Babs, that got put into a romantic relationship both ways when they aged down Babs, but for some people the relationship is relatively gross because of the age gap, and feeling the need to age down a character like Babs, who just looked at Dick like a kid, to just date him. It’s complicated, and I dunno enough about them besides that exactly. I’m not the guy to ask on that.

He doesn’t have a proper relationship with either Duke or Steph, but it doesn’t seem like Dick’s ever been the fondest of Steph. And Duke’s new, and they only ever been around each other in fan service moments. So I don’t think he has a real actual relationship with Duke.

Dick and Cass despite I don’t think ever being shown much together, also had a sweet relationship. With Dick doing his best to make sure his sister (before she was adopted, but Dick treated her as one nevertheless much like Tim as Dick’s baby brother) was comfortable, acting goofy, and to me coming across as if he’s always really wanted a sister. But they weren’t super close, but there’s enough there to say that they easily could become close.

Dick and Damian was mentor mentoree, and to a large extent Dick was Damian’s father figure as Bruce was dead. As written by Damian’s creator, Dick didn’t seem to like Damian at all in the beginning, but as Dick could realize and understand his responsibilities more, they did gain a closer bond. Dick would put Damian in line (besides when bad writers were too afraid to make Damian seem like he’s in the wrong fully), sometimes even the hard way, and could be very proud of him. They aren’t big bro little bro like how some current writers act for pandering purposes. But they did grow to be close, even if Damian’s naturally really emotionally distant. Dick always wanted the best for Damian, even if he couldn’t always handle it the right way or knew what to do. He was a guy in his early to mid 20s with the responsibilities of reraising a 10 year old kid that was raised and abused by a cult, who can blame him.

Damian

I’m kind of just getting Damian out of the way, because to be frank, he’s been a really crappily written character since his origin, because he personality just absolutely switches between every writer, and he’s just so badly written that way.

But I’ll go off of what I believe to be what his writer wanted, since that’s the most accurate you can get.

Damian was raised and abused in a cult. That dictates a lot of how he thinks.

He was not close to his mother (which is out of character for Talia, and they later switched that after the reboot, but to be frank if Talia was always in-character Damian wouldn’t exist as we know him. He’d be a total different person and character). And he seemed to despise the way his dad goes about things. He seemed very indifferent and had his mood set to angry in general when he first met.

Which made it all the weirder when an issue later Damian seems to want his parents to be together, despite making it clear he doesn’t even like or think much of either one of them at all.

He was also very entitled, because despite being treated as an experiment some of the time, he was also treated as a prince the other half of the time. He thought the world was his, and he deserved everything.

He nearly killed Tim because he thought he deserved being Robin, as Tim was just adopted and not a “real” son. Seemingly he thought that was what he had to do to have his dad accept him and treat him as he thought he should.

He also seems to think he’s above Jason as well.

He’s also shown as sexist and homophobic.

He was brash and reckless about everything. Had a talented in just about everything just because of how he was raised, and goes off on his own to do stuff, because I assume he thinks everyone else holds him back.

After Dick though, Damian learned to not be a murderer (which I also think he might’ve learned before cause he wants to live with Bruce, It’s a little weird and not given enough time to actually be developed fully in an easy to digest way. Which is another reason why I think he’s such a poorly written character), also more reserved, and reckless.

As he was originally intended, he was very tall and not cute. His height being around 5′2 to 5′4 at age 10. Meaning he was an inch taller than Tim was at 13 when Damian was 10 off of that first one, and only an inch shorter than Tim at the age he met him, where Tim was 17 going on 18. It may not be drawn that way, but you also have to remember this is 00s and beyond era DC Comics were Tim despite being described as looking 12 got drawn as big as Dick sometimes. Don’t always use the art to go off of certain information. I say he wasn’t intended to be cute, because there’s a scene were he was at a gala, where a woman clearly wanting to gold-dig Gotham City’s most eligible Bachelor Bruce Wayne by getting close to her son, but she immediately backed away when she saw him.

Which sounds harsh, but Damian’s also basically the “anti-Robin”, he was everything a Robin wasn’t meant to be and he was intended to just die and that’s it. Hence why he was with Dick to keep the Batman and Robin dynamic intact, just in reverse. As you can see, they completely forgot what made Damian interesting when his character gained some consistency with his creator.

Damian’s development was that he grew a actual caring heart even if he still carried the generally same personality. He was dismissive of people, sexually harassed Steph, was generally anti-social-esque.

And honestly because every writer after (even the one everyone seems to think is his best writer, which I massively agree times a billion and infinite more) just kept reverting him, again and again, even when they wrote stories with character development, it was gone again. And applied a whole bunch of traits that aren’t like Damian in the slightest, so if you pay attention. Ya can tell Damian’s not Damian, he’s literally not even a shell of his self. They just painted another one to look kind of like him, and even then they don’t do that because he freaking looks completely different some of the time. They botched him so much.

But that was the main thing about Damian.

I think one reason he got close to Dick and no one else was because Damian from his origin (no matter how poorly written they showed it), always wanted to have a proper parent. Which it seemed he could never have. And Dick grew to serve that purpose, as Dick was the one teaching him lessons, and making sure he was actually safe.

But of course later on DC Comics literally forgot everything that was letting him slowly become a better character. So that sucks.

I partially came into this fandom because of Damian. So when I actually got to read him, I was so freaking miserable after. I genuinely wanted to like him so bad, even voicing that to people I was chatting too as I read the comics, but I literally just couldn’t see why anyone cared for his comics. I don’t think any of them are fully well-written.

But it did help me grasp what Damian’s suppose to be like as I could tell what he’s suppose to be and not suppose to be, much like how I learned about Tim’s actual personality vs the one writers that don’t care about him write.

Steph

Just doing this one to get a more negatively centered one out of the way, because I struggle to find any personality traits I deem actually likable when put under context.

Because she’s full of her self, reckless, cynical, more or less sexually harassed Tim, kissing him against his wishes (and before ya say Tim did that first. it’s a little less offensive when Tim didn’t do it sexually or romantically. That was just for a dumb trope. A reward kiss. It’s still gross, but it’s a different context that’s less directly offensive), goes behind people’s backs sometimes, can be emotionally abusive, and shows signs of physically abusive.

So I don’t exactly find her super likable. And her spot in the Bat-Family was so contrived, that often nowadays I just don’t pay attention her anymore, but in fairness a lot of that’s just cause she has crazy stans that start fights that were barely there, be hypocritical, and group bully folks. So it’s relatively hard for me to wanna look at her these days.

But to be more specific before she seems like an actual freaking demon woman or what ever. Some of that doesn’t come across as bad compared to what it could be. Besides the emotional abuse, that was just a thing and the comics and people just elected to ignore it even though that was written by her creator.

She’s reckless in a way where she clearly doesn’t have proper training to make sure no one or herself gets hurt. She’s been shown causing herself to get hurt or underestimate stuff. She also doesn’t listen to people that know more about what they do, and she usually relies on luck to get by.

She’s full of herself, because she more or less says she’s an adrenaline junkie, and might just be beating up bad guys because she finds it really fun and exciting. She likes the thrill. And tries to put a title of super hero on herself sometimes, because she tries to seem heroric as she does it. She also does it to make up for her dad, which is more admirable, but behavior wise and focus wise it’s more pinned on her just being an adrenaline junkie.

She also just constantly just flirt with Tim even when he didn’t want it. Which is what sexual harassment is. She also kissed him for her own satisfaction twice, once nearly getting them both killed cause people were shooting at them, and another as them and other people were close to freezing to death because they were stuck under snow. That kind of behavior able to be under sexual assault given the context for her kisses was just for herself. Even the time she tried to say it was to make up for Tim’s reward kiss, she quickly makes it obvious it was just because she’s very sexually attracted to him.

She also just nearly lets criminals die a lot because “What’s one more life”, and seems to not care much for the lesson of not killing, specifically her dad. Like she still has the moral standard not to kill, but compared to the others it’s not one she takes as serious. She learned her lesson on being cynical, but it’s still ingrained in her personality.

I also have a whole very long post on why her relationship with Tim doesn’t work, and how she was abusive. I don’t feel like going over that again but that’s a thing.

Besides Tim she has no real relationship with the others besides Cass, which is another relationship I don’t fully understand, because Steph borderline insults her, and Cass thinks she gets in the way so much she just fractures Steph’s jaw to knock her out. They gave them some admittedly cute moments, but it’s never felt right to me. Always felt forced and pandery, but it’s a thing. They’ve played tag each other, and talked about how both of their parents are abusive.

She also had one with in Batgirl, but the best I can describe that is, she helps Steph so she doesn’t hurt herself, and she can be pretty gruff sometimes, but is also caring. it’s just kind of a been there done that sort of thing.

A lot of Batgirl is sort of forced. Bat-Family has reasonable criticisms of her, writer does something to make them more unlikable so readers still like Steph, Steph proves them wrong, they respect her. It’s a formula for a few stories in her Batgirl run.

People have also said her and Damian have a sibling relationship, but I don’t agree with that. Damian sexually harassed her and kept looking at her boobs. Damian had a crush on her, but he was also a stubborn entitled jerk to her. Steph just got back at Damian by making him dress as a normal kid to embarrass him, and when she saw Damian never played before got him to jump on a bouncy castle. Besides generic banter that’s about it. And given Damian’s personality, they never did anything like that bouncy castle thing again. It’s a really big stretch to call that sibling-like. And even the stuff you could stretch is still doesn’t pay attention to the Damian talking about her boobs constantly thing. Parts of it was just pandery, as a lot of that Batgirl run was.

So I don’t overall have a good opinion of her. She’s perseverance and doesn’t give up, and won’t take no for an answer, but given the context it’s not in a good way besides saving Tim’s and others lifes a few times.

Babs

Despite having read her a lot I don’t know her a lot, because she’s typically always the other character in things. The lady that gets the information.

So I only know a few things about her.

She has the perseverance and won’t take no traits, but in a more positive context. She has no use of her legs but that doesn’t stop her from fighting crime and helping people.

She’s a serious, and mature personality. Every case is very seriously to her, besides a few Tim got into because they were just very goofy.

She can also joke a lot. She has a very teasing personality in her as well. Especially with Tim, she seemed to find Tim really cute and loved teasing him.

I pretty much only have panels of her and Tim besides a rare few maybe, cause as I said she’s mostly a side character helping out.

I have read Birds of Prey but that was possible a year or two ago, and I didn’t really pay attention so I’m not as sure.

She’s very leaderly, and will direct the traffic so to say. She’s a magnificent detective and hacker. Stands up for herself. Inquisitive. Her mind always seems to be thinking of the next thing to think about.

She’s a character I can’t talk about as well without it being one dimensional.

Cass

Cass is another character I don’t have the best grasp on but been trying to learn because she’s probably my second favorite Batkid even if I don’t understand her as strongly. But I do get a lot of her basic personality, and a bit of the nuances, even if I’m not ultra confident on it yet.

She’s quirky, she knows how to tease, but she can also be a bit objective based unless she’s bored it seems, like she does watch TV, but when she has a goal she will not stop until the goal is done. She’s a fully compassionate person as well, she sees little kid needing help, she helps little kid.

Also given her upraising she can be more socially oblivious than anyone else, even Tim. She’s walked around an apartment she was sharing with others butt naked. I think she accidentally flirted with Babs (not a shippy thing, it’s a, Cass said a thing she didn’t understand thing), because she couldn’t tell the difference between a platonic thing and cheesy romantic thing as she watched TV.

She doesn’t always listen. She will just beat by her own drum unless she believes in something someone else said more.

Given her mind wasn’t raised to be socializing, a lot of this stuff makes sense and is kind of obvious when you think about it.

Cass can also be very stubborn when she has a goal, even when it’s against someone else’s wishes.

She’s mostly been a loner by herself, but she has grown to seem to genuinely like having company around to bond with.

She’s been shown being protective of Tim. Literally carrying him out of a fight zone.

Babs’s is more or less her mom.

Dick and Steph’s I’ve described before.

Distant with Alfred, but Alfred will occasionally drop by to help out. They’re still carrying if they aren’t as connected as others.

Not gonna lie I can’t remember her relationship with Bruce.

But that’s some of the basics and slight nuances of Batgirl. I’m still in the early part of learning about her. So I’ll probably understand her more later on. I genuinely really like her though. I like how she isn’t a one dimensional character like some writers make her out to be. She’s genuinely really fun to read.

Jason

I actually know Jason quite a bit because I made a big long post about his time as Robin (post-crisis only, not counting the scripts written before the 80s reboot, or anything inconsistent).

He’s anti-authority, angry, cusses, smokes, violent, murderous tendencies, aggressive, but also has a genuine heroic spirit, is appreciative of the opportunities he was able to have, loved being able to learn especially, had insecurities, and a lot of his violence was in the name of being a more aggressive way of justice. He’d never hurt an innocent.

A lot of this is explain by the fact he was raised on the streets more or less.

When ever he got especially violent was because of a bad guy hurting or killing an innocent or committing abusive acts of any sort. He probably seen a lot of bad stuff on the streets and doesn’t handle it.

He’s pretty decently cynical because of thinking that’s the best way to deal with it.

He was also moody, but after his upbringing that’s to be expected, and unlike what some thinks, Batman was actually understanding and did his best to help Jason back even if he didn’t get it as first.

Jason isn’t a villain, he is a pure anti-hero, he wants to help, he loves to help, when he feels like he should help he does. He just has his own way of doing it that lots don’t agree with.

When he became the Red Hood, all of this stuff just became amplified because of the traumatic event he went through and the feeling of not being avenged and abandoned again.

Where as before he’d nearly kill people, he outright does now with even left empathy. He had a sack of decapitated head once just so other criminals knew he wasn’t playing around.

However his moodiness came out in different ways. He was actually a very calm, chill personality as the Red Hood, until his traumas got poked at, where he’d go back into his angry bitter ways, but to a more unstoppable way. He’d be more violent, more angry, more inconsolable, more unstable.

As the Red Hood, he is a very far ahead planner and tactition. People always call Tim the planner, but to me Jason is the planner and tactition of the group. He had a large plan that took a while to do, but caused him to accomplish a lot in a short time. Tim does it in the moment or moments before and does a fine enough job, but he isn’t a good leader. Dick is a good planner tactition and leader, but it can also just be shortly before he does something. Jason thinks very far ahead and how people will react and think, how to get under their skin, what will piss them off, what will give him what he once etc.

When he’s not unstable, he’s calm and collected, and is always trying to get under people’s skin. Not in a large over the top way, but just a bit. In an almost charming sort of way. A sly way. He pokes buttons when he’s calm and collected.

As to be expected his relationship with the Bat-Family is complicated. He’s mostly just in the Bat-Family almost purely because of his past in it, more than what he is currently. He’s more of a loner type that will get help when needed, but until the New 52 said otherwise, he’s not much of a team player as he mostly works by himself.

Bat-Family wants him to get better, but at the same time I think they recognize it’s gonna take a lot for Jason to get better, and since Jason is dangerous it creates a lot of overwhelming feelings. Bruce is upset at himself and is almost grieving Jason all over again, Dick has regrets he never had a chance to know him till then, and Tim’s relationship has been so varied and never really felt right, I’d say most likely Tim would be scared of Jason, and upset at him. Jason was a Robin that killed. Going off of how Tim reacted to thinking Batman killed, he’d probably be genuinely miserable at the thought of what Jason became, and be distant from him.

Jason is sly and hard to read unless he’s emotional.

Duke

Duke is the hardest to say anything for, because he’s the newest, most obscure (even tho he is gaining quick prominence), and so therefore has less to go off of. Not helped by a lot of writers making him very two dimensional at best a lot of the time.

He is a natural leader, a dare-devil, very willing to put his life on the line at any time, and passionate and almost stubborn about helping people. He wants to save people, and he’s always wanting to help, because he wants to make his neighborhood a better place.

And that’s almost all I can say, because having read his mini-series he doesn’t have many character traits, and WE ARE ROBIN, where he was introduced and I got that from was short lived.

He’s only with the other Batkids when they really wanna pander, so I can’t even accurately say anything, and the few times you could make a guess it’s not in-character for the other. So he’s just hard to tell. Besides Cass.

I think he’d naturally get along with Bruce, Dick, and Tim, and he’s shown being closest to Cass in the Outsiders series. Considering Cass a sister I believe. They console in each other, care about each other, worry about each other, and look after each other. That’s the closest relationship he has.

But it’s hard to say a lot for him.

AGES:

To be blunt I can’t say with full accuracy because there’s so many inconsistencies plus reboots.

But I’ll go into oldest to youngest, because some don’t realize some ages.

Dick, was 21 when Tim was 13

Jason was 18 when Tim was 15

Cass is the same age if not older than Jason

Steph is two years older than Tim

I believe Duke is around the same age as Steph

and Tim and Damian’s ages off of that is pretty obvious.

Sorry this is so freaking long, but like I said, just DM me. I’m about to watch a movie, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I at least hope this helped some, and if it’s too long, just message me because it’ll probably be less overwhelming then.

#long post

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