#tl;dr: folks i'm gonna be doing some stuff

[simulation-machine]

SIMS RELATED PROJECTS/UPDATES

My spring break is coming up in a week and holy crap do I have plans on plans on plans, especially since my summer is gonna be full of school + internship + HOPEFULLY friggin' graduating with a BA in Psychology so that I can start applying to grad schools.

Read more iffin' you'd like! It's long! Here's a picture of my golden retriever napping on her brother's food bowl to entice/entertain you:

god she is so precious i would literally kill for her

GOAL 1: MASTER GSHADE/ReSHADE

I know that some people are sticklers for this but my thing is that I had no gee-dee clue what I was doing with ReShade, whereas Gshade just kinda clicked and worked for me? That said I have a bunch of resources for learning ReShade so I might end up moving back to it at some point.

My main issue is figuring out the order of all the different effects. It obviously matters, I'm sure people smarter than me have tried to use presets only to be like "why tf does this look absolutely nothing like the baller screenshots this one cool Simblr has?" Annnd it turns out it's order + remembering to turn off certain graphic settings. Also photoshop, but that's gonna take a lot longer for me to figure out lol.

Like I'd been struggling to figure out why @gunthermunch's gorgeous Lithium preset wasn't looking as sexy as it did before annnnd it's because I forgot to turn Edge Smoothing off when switching to it. Jesus wept at how dippy I am sometimes.

Eventually, what I would like to do is maybe make my own preset at some point? I would be kind enough to show the effect order too if I did so. But this requires so, so much more shader knowledge than I currently have.

FUN FACT: My first ever degree was in art, I even went to a very fancy and private art school (School of the Art Institute of Chicago if you're curious)- I dropped out after one semester because uhhh that shit is expensive. Ended up finishing my degree at a much cheaper location in MN. That said, my art was 100% analog and 2D, and it turns out it did not translate super well into trying my hand at graphic art.

It's funny because I've been gifted really neat stuff for graphic art (like a really nice Wacom tablet and Adobe subscriptions), like people just expected my mixed-media ass would know what to do with it. NOPE! But yeah, Sims is sort of my excuse to try my hand at this stuff again, especially since I have a bit more energy now that my soul is not regularly being drained out of my body by customer service and tech support jobs.

GOAL 2: GET CRACKIN' ON ANOTHER DOOR

This one is hard because I am only on Gen 2 of the Orsons and it's sort of hard to justify starting up another story while that one is less than 1/5 of the way done.

THAT SAID, I don't plan on posting Another Door until I have a decent chunk of it done. Since it's not a casual gameplay story nor a legacy challenge, I plan on editing the bajeez out of the screenshots for it, really honing in on the aesthetic. I want it to look and feel very different from my random legacy challenge.

Fortunately, this story has been fucking up my sleep schedule for *months* now and I have a lot of the writing for it done. The hard part is translating that into the Sims, making sure I get the right poses and stuff, maybe even learning how to make some super easy CC (like, posters and stuff), and stuff related to GOAL 1 above.

What I'm saying is that it's going to take a bit. But I'm super serious about sharing it because it's my obsession and honestly the first time a story of my own design has possessed me in literal years.

Also, I want to make sure I have a significant backlog of the Orsons before I start seriously simming for it, because I don't want to screw over my favorite little pixel babies. This legacy challenge is going to be the one, I have done so much to keep my save files to keep it safe from harm (ask me how many backups I have of the save files. JK don't, the number is frankly silly).

GOAL 3: START YET ANOTHER MASSIVE CC PURGE

Y'all, my CC folder for this game is honestly an embarrassment. I go so hard on CC shopping because this community is stupid-talented and I like giving my pixel babies nice things and cool looks. When I'm bored and not quite in the mood for gameplay, I just like making neat-looking sims that I do absolutely nothing with because I love fucking around in CAS.

I have built my own PCs since I was 17 years old, and when I first built COMPUTERMACHINE (current rig) back in the autumn of 2018, it was with the goal that it would run Sims 4 flawlessly no matter what I did to it. It's got ridiculous amounts of RAM, I religiously update parts for it. And to be fair, even with the current 6,907,907,890 TB of CC I have atm it runs better than Sims 3 ever had with a measly 50 GB of CC.

But for me, it comes down to finding all the stuff I wanna use. Making myself get rid of the stuff I don't wanna use. Straight up yeeting the CC that I thought was going to look incredible that uh, didn't deliver.

I do CAS CC purges about once a year but have literally never done it for Build & Buy stuff, because OMG some of this shit I've had since 2014. Like when Sims 4 first came out. YIKES. My CAS CC obsession is notable but it's honestly nothing compared to my Build & Buy. Even before For Rent made building lots slow af, my PC was starting to take a solid minute to switch to different buy categories.

It would take a long af time so I want to make sure I have a bunch of content in the queue before I do it. It's gonna be a whole ass thing and be so, so boring to do. So I'm putting it off for when I have a ton of time to do it. Like, oh, my entire Spring Break?

GOAL 4: MAKE A FRIGGIN' RESOURCES LIST ALREADY

This would obviously need to wait until after GOAL 3 is completed, but I wanna make sure the awesome creators whose stuff I use get credit, and that people know where they can grab neat stuff. It would include not only CC but mods, Gshade/ReShade presets, and maybe even lots and sims I've downloaded from the gallery?

(Since I am super anti-paywall and very unapologetic and rude about it, I will also share where one could perhaps get some of these CCs without paying some dip a Trenta Starbucks Unicorn Frappucino amount of $$$)

It's ambitious as hell because *gestures vaguely at GOAL 3* but it would make things like doing WCIF asks and lookbooks so much easier.

Somewhat relatedly, I wanna make a navigation post, especially once Another Door starts getting posted. That story is gonna be a bit huge with multiple arcs that take place over the course of like, 14 years. Plus once the Orsons get to the 4th+ generation, it would be easier to track things down.

IN CONCLUSION...

I have been having so much fun sharing my silly little Sim adventures on Tumblr, so much more than I ever thought I would! You all have been so great to me, and all of this stuff is sort of a way for me to repay that. Ever since I stopped being able to be artistically creative ever since a really nasty depressive spell in 2017, Sims has been my #1 artistic outlet. And having people who are even somewhat entertained by my pixels is incredibly motivating.

Basically, if you read all of this, DAMN would you have been a rad livejournal follower of mine circa 2007. On the seriousness, however, thank you all so much for being rad and encouraging and sweet. I promise to do you all, if not proud, then at the very least not disappointed.

Time to hit the bong and take some pictures of Lou and Tatertot before taking my IRL doggos on a walk~

#sort of an announcement #future plans #sims 4 gameplay #tales from the irl #i love the sims community so much #promises i plan to deliver on (eventually) #playing with photoshop again #talking 'bout doing another cc purge again #posts so long you'll unfollow me (i will not blame you) #tl;dr: folks i'm gonna be doing some stuff #anyways... *bong rips*

[decepti-thots]

MTMTE/LL script project.

I am reposting an updated person of this post so I can maintag it for visibility!

tl;dr: I am attempting to digitize the MTMTE/LL scripts that exist for archival purposes to prevent any of them becoming lost media in the future. And I am looking for help in this!

The long version:

I am trying to get scans or clear, readable photographs of all the MTMTE/LL scripts that exist for the sake of digitizing them and making sure they don’t wind up lost media. (Needless to say, me currently trying to get ahold of fandom stuff from 20-30 years ago and constantly running into brick walls because nobody has scanned their copies of things got me thinking about this, haha.)

These scripts are, in a lot of cases, literally just printer paper stapled together and sold at cons to a very few people. I would hate to see these disappear in a decade or two because we all wound up forgetting where we left them, or stuck them in the attic and damp got them, or whatever.

Roberts has been selling nothing but spares/leftovers of these for a while now, including at this year's TFN, where he had very few left and none of them were new prints as far as I could tell. (Rusty staples!) In addition, he's said he does not expect to be doing more cons for some time. The one time he sold them online in 2020 or so, it was explicitly just old stock. So at this point, getting my hands on more for this project means either getting folks to kindly contribute scans or sell me their copies on.

(Sidenote: at the moment I'm not 100% sure if JRo has finished up selling these forever, though it seems likely for the forseeable given the above. Even so, I’m a little leery of making this stuff super public until such a time as he confirms he's got no future plans, because I hate to eat into a potential way for creators to make some well earned money off their own work if it turns out he’s gonna sell more later. This project is to make sure an archive exists as futureproofing, but I don't currently plan to immediately make this a massive public repository. But obviously, anyone kind enough to contribute can have access to the drive.)

Below the cut is a list of a) what I currently have, b) what I expect to have soon and c) what I know exists and do not have. If you have anything I don't, and would be willing to scan or photograph it to contribute, please let me know. Alternatively, if anyone has scripts I don’t already own which rather than scan they’re interested in selling on, hit me up. I am not made of money, but I’m willing to pay a fair price to get my hands on them if needed. Just be aware I’m UK based.

Unscanned, for me to do: Lost Light #6, This Machine Kills Fascists (standard)

Unscanned, being scanned by others: Chaos Theory

Scanned or photographed: More Than Meets The Eye #6, Interiors (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #9, Shadowplay Part One: Post Hoc More Than Meets The Eye #12, Before and After (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #16, The Gloaming (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #22, Little Victories (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #28, World Shut Your Mouth: Towards Peace (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #31, Twenty Plus One (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #35, The Custom Made Now (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #38, Elegant Chaos: Predestination, an Expert's Guide (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #39, The Permanent Revolution (annotated) More than Meets The Eye #40, Our Steps Will Always Rhyme (standard and annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #47, The Lopsided Triangle (standard) Lost Light #6, This Machine Kills Fascists (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #50, How Bright Their Frail Deeds (annotated) Lost Light #13, Sardines (annotated) Lost Light #25, How To Say Goodbye And Mean It: Part 2 (annotated) The Transformers Holiday Special, Silent Light/MTMTE #50 backup script (annotated)

Ones I am looking for and know exist: More Than Meets The Eye #4 (labelled #3), Life After The Big Bang (standard) More Than Meets The Eye #5, How Ratchet Got His Hands Back More Than Meets The Eye #14, Remembrance Day More Than Meets The Eye #21, Remain in Light: This Calamitous Life More Than Meets The Eye #35, The Custom Made Now (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #43, The One Where They Go To Earth (annotated) More Than Meets The Eye #55, The Dying of the Light: Do Not Go Gentle

(Note: the scripts often have preliminary titles that differ from those above that were used for final issues. Also, for earlier issues, sometimes numbering is off by one, because projected issue counts shifted. The above is mostly guesses based on numbers JRo mentioned for scripts on Twitter and final issue names.)

You can contact me either here or on Twitter. And if you could let anyone know who you think could help and signal boost, I would appreciate it.

Thank you!

#maccadam #more than meets the eye #transformers idw #transformers

[theneighborhoodwatch]

Found this welcome theory video that i found interesting: https://youtu.be/9Lz6OcILeSc?si=tcPnCX3QC4JmAyC-

Thoughts :3?

(functional link to video)

i tend to avoid youtube coverage of welcome home because i'm petty, but fuck it, it's a new year and i've never actually heard of this youtuber before. i'll give it a shake. liveblog under the cut:

"y'know if it wasn't for the unsettling mysteries, the feeling that somebody is always watching you, and the mold.... i'd wanna live in the neighborhood" that's exactly why the mold and paranoia's so scary babeyyyy

"update number two" Tch.

i'm less inclined to call the writing in this update character development so much as it is just character establishment. especially since before the july 22nd update (bc that's what this video is about) all we knew about the other neighbors was what the WHRP was willing to tell us. i feel like i'm preaching to the choir though.

ok i laughed at the grindset alpha male howdy joke

"now i wanna move onto eddie bc i wanna make a connection between [eddie and howdy]" :D OH DO YOU NOW.

i do love the energy in this video, very infectious. i too have recommended people welcome home solely on the basis that they would have the hots for eddie and y'know what i haven't been wrong yet.

I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW LIKE. almost all of the characters have that backstory element of having coming from somewhere else before settling down in home, but i see the point about howdy and eddie specifically dealing with stuff that comes from someplace else as like, an actual job. putting a pin in it.

i'm not Sure how i feel about the idea that the world of home/the world in which home exists is Within our world? pretty much from the beginning i assumed it was running on re:creators/deltarune dark world rules (i.e. it is a world that was born from human thought and its existence is dependent on/influenced by our world, but at the end of the day it does exist on like a separate plane of reality) and i still stand by that. barbieland in barbie 2023 is a more apt comparison though.

"possession route" Tch.

ok actually i can't tch at that because i have talked about it in my own posts. TL;DR: i think possession/haunting theory could work but only if it's anything other than actual literal ghosts. as soon as you try to make it FNAF 2 i sleep.

don't have much to say about Real Poppy Lover Hours except emphatic smiling and nodding. although i will say i have seen people use "oh she's more like a mom/aunt/etc.!" as an excuse to sideline her in fanwork bc for some reason some folks think that her having a motherly personality means that she can't be shipped with anyone? even though all of home's residents are adults who aren't even related to each other? that's a gripe for another post, though.

THE CONCEPT OF SALLY BEING AS BIG AS POPPY IS KILLING ME. I PROMISE SHE'S SMALL SHE JUST HAS A BIGASS HEAD. she would want to be big though wouldn't she.

...actually now i want big sally. note to self to draw that later.

i do like the examination of whether or not sally referring to the audience is meant to mean anything. personally i think it's just a bit of wordplay/red herring action but You Never Know!

i misheard "girlboss bossgirl slay" as "girlboss boygirl slay" for like a split second. still fits tbh.

IT'S FUNNY THAT THEY MENTION THINKING THAT THE WHRP IS A SINGLE PERSON bc i do have an ask about that right after this. i'll save my thoughts for that response though.

it's funny that "was the majority of the gang being some form of queer/disabled/nd/etc. planned in-universe" is a question at all bc at the risk of sounding like an asshole it feels so obvious to me that it very much was not. the interview is definitely playing into those themes though.

"them <3" yeah

again. extremely refreshing to see a welcome home video from someone who actually likes welcome home instead of the clicks that covering it will give them.

BARNABY-SANS COMPARISON IS... DISTRESSINGLY APPROPRIATE.

he always knows when to show up, huh.... huh.... i've been trying to break away from being so self-referential ever since welcome home and consequently this blog blew up but. huh...

do i think he's a service dog? i think to answer that question we would first have to answer the question of whether or not he's even a Dog or just Shaped Like A Dog. the laws of his reality say he is a dog, but we can at least guess that even even those can't be trusted. i think it's possible that he may see himself as in service to wally, that he worries about what will happen if he doesn't butt in, but i don't know if this is an objective truth.

"[wally] being so mysterious i don't think is like, him wanting to be mysterious. [...] there just may not be that much about him." and then relating that to how typically protagonists in puppet shows have more subdued personalities than their co-stars so they can be more relatable to the audience. Teehee. (this is positive)

oh there's something kind of poetic about the idea that each bug video ends bc wally's snapped out of his dissociation by one of his friends calling his name when paired with the idea that he's disassociating in part due to his connection with the audience isn't there. being reminded of one's own personhood through your connections with others, and how that has the potential to become more bittersweet the more wally continues to risk it in the process of regaining a sense of purpose as The Audience Surrogate. oogh. that's just me waxing poetic though.

oooh that whole passage about the idea of remembrance and the pursuit of a "correct" story and tying that back into how welcome home in-universe has been almost universally forgotten and the themes of living as a disabled or mentally ill or queer person. beautiful connection.

"hmmm, how much agency do you have in your life actually" AHEHEHE. HEHEHEHE. HEHE.

conclusion: Good Video. thank you for sending it.

#anonymous #ask #welcome home #wh speculation

[anonymouspuzzler]

Yay Yipee I Finally Remembered I Should Update Folks On Things That Are Happening

because hey whoops as some of you might remember Supposedly I Stream Sometimes! That Uhhhh Hasn't Happened In A While Has It! so I should probably let folks know what's goin' on!! the long and the short of it is

Around late November/early December I started having issues where Discord would crash and restart anytime I tried to screenshare my capture software with my friends who I stream with. This put console game streams (so 2/3 of the games we were streaming) on the backburner till I could troubleshoot and solve that issue

On top of that it was Fucking Finals Season for me at my Graduate School so at a certain point I had to be responsible and focus on getting my final projects & essays done, which meant sacrificing stream time till my break (where I would hopefully have time to troubleshoot and then do a ton of streaming to make up for lost time)

Except THEN literally the second I went home for the holidays my hard drive abruptly and completely died. It is very possible that this contributed to the aforementioned tech issues

I was able to replace the drive and get my computer working again but because I have a Fucking Curse a lot of tech-side things were lost or started experiencing issues due to the new drive, namely A) I haven't been able to get my capture software working yet and B) whoops my entire OBS layout is just gone now I guess

This whole saga, on top of juggling other life shit and work and the like, effectively ate up my entire winter break

so tl;dr! I have a computer curse and because of it streams are gonna have to wait till I can get both OBS and my capture software working again. I'm hoping to work on that this weekend so I can be back to streaming next week, but given my school & job workload I'm guessing it'll more likely be two or three weeks. On top of that, I won't be streaming most of March due to reason of "my partner is visiting then". all of this sucks cause I want to be streaming, both for reason of "i like spending time with my good friends doing this" and "haha whoops I'm not earning money now and oh boy there sure are a lot of expenses flying at my head like rocks huh".

I've already rambled a bit more than I'd like to now so here's da main points:

Streams will (HOPEFULLY) be back in February. When they are, they'll be Monday & Tuesday nights, 5:30pst/8:30est, for as long as my friends remain available at those times (we're all adults having to look for or maintain Day Jobs so availability could change. y'all know how it is). I may also do occasional one-off streams on weekends as my energy 'n schedule permits, most likely art streams

I'll continue to be around on Holly's streams Fri/Sat/Sun as her schedule permits, because I don't have to rebuild OBS from the ground up for that

There is a 99.99% chance I'll be totally absent stream-wise during March

Even though streams are facing The Troubles I am still taking art commissions! Those haven't been affected!! You can submit an interest form here and I'll reach out to confirm prices as soon as I'm ready to start work on yours

If, out of the kindness of your heart, you would like to toss some support my way during The Troubles (which would be much appreciated; as said I've got a lot of expenses coming my way and unfortunately my day job covers my rent and nothing more), here are some other ways you can do so: -- Tip me on Ko-Fi; if you pay $9 or more you can request a doodle that I'll do for you and post on here & twitter (and might stream the process of drawing once that's up and running again). Here's an example of some Ko-Fi doodles I did previously -- You can also tip through my stream page if you want but I probably won't see those till I start streaming again. Still appreciated!!! -- I have a Throne Wishlist that's mostly stuff like kitchenware, household goods, stuff for my kitty, etc. There's also a few Fun Things though, like vinyls and a billy big bass Jay insisted I add. Either way, if you wanna contribute to something on there it means a lot. You can also suggest items to make me laugh

an' above all: thank you for reading and for bein' around!!

#long post / #anonymous puzzler talks #sorry for the big ramble!! i just figured it was worth putting everything out there #you mighta heard bits and pieces of this on friends' streams slash twitter slash wherever #but i figured it was worth puttin' in one place #anyway if you read this far: i hope you're having a good day and if you're not i hope a good day comes your way!!!!! #edit: i forgot the link to the doodles!! silly me!!! that is in there now

[altraviolet]

I did find your response very entertaining lol my fault for not asking the right question. My understanding of IDW shockwave was that he was morally grey at first, but then an empty evil man after emp. I've got a better grasp on his character now, so I'm altering my question to be more specific. If you were to write his story (minus the time travel/God thing you're absolutely right abt that) how would you write him so that he heals from emp and is whole again. Like I know he can never be who he was, but how would you write it so he's... better? I guess? Healed from his trauma and a (mostly) normal citizen again?

ahh ok gotcha

I think the TEG SW arc is pretty like... adaptable. the character needs to reject their current (bad) understanding of themself, be open to change, be guided through change by friends (usually. hopefully). I am no authority but I'm guessing?? most redemption-esque arcs go like that? I just did what I thought was logical for TEG SW but if it happens to follow a formula, maybe that's cuz that formula is internally logical for the end goal

it took me a long time to figure out TEG so I can't really go into a lot of depth tonight with this. I can try to think through a few things... tl;dr if I were actually going to write a fic, it would be thought out. we're gonna throw some ideas into the tumblr ether here

-shocky comes out of the empurata with some understanding of what's happened to him and some understanding that he was something/someone else before that

-suffers from society's reaction to who he is now, has to find a safe place to live

-perhaps a self help group type thing for other empurata'd mechs

-if we're still doing war, maybe he befriends Glitch and follows him to the Decepticon side. this would be Healing Trauma Through Warfare, aka the bad ending, but it would be an arc. found family except the family likes to kill people

-if we're not doing war, or we're doing A Good Ending, maybe the self help group thing has connections to medical folks. maybe he can see a therapist, or he can go to a body shop and get remodded. I'd have to choose the exact ending and then work towards it

-along the way we'd see him discovering, via his interests/works/hobbies/friendships/hardships, his own internal worth. "I got empurata'd and society hates me but I still have worth" type stuff

-breaks down barriers for empurata'd mechs, does outreach/raises awareness type stuff

-goes full circle when he runs for senator and gets in, because he's amassed a strong enough following. passes laws to eradicate empurata.

boom! that sounds like healing haha

hope that was good 👍

#ask #anonymous #shockwave #long post

[mpregfrance]

Do you have any pink genre recs in terms of music? I want to get more into the genre.

-Hypermobile Françoise anon

hello!!! do you have any idea how hard this is for me to answer. i love rambling and being pedantic and going off on tangents. almost as much as i love punk music...

tl;dr i compiled a playlist for you, containing 3 songs from (most of) the bands mentioned below, plus a few extra from miscellanious artists bc 54 is my lucky number. it was hard to choose just 3 from some of my faves but i feel like this is a good introduction. long post to follow <3

instead of simply giving you a list and sending you on your merry way, i am absolutely going to spout off bc thats what i do and ur gonna regret asking. do you think you were gonna get off that easy? you absolute fool. sit ur ass down ur about to get schooled.

disclaimer; this isn't exhaustive. i'm not rattling off every single punk artist that's ever existed. just a few of my favorites.

the clash, the quintessential punk band in my opinion. defined the genre and embodied the political ethos. explored different subgenres througout their expansive discography. they were probably my first introduction to music as a whole since they're my dad's favorite band. i may be biased but i'd definitely say start with the clash. i'd recommend listening to their third album, london calling, first.

the pogues - the folk punk band of all time. NOT folk-punk like some smelly white man with dreadlocks screaming over poorly-tuned guitar. you'll know exactly what i mean when you hear it. they have a unique sound that just can't be replicated. and shane macgowan is actually such a beautiful person. their lyrics are also politically tinged, kinda gritty and edgy (i.e. gratuitous slurs) so not for senstive ears.

(i actually have a playlist of my fave pogues/shane macgowan songs)

the cure, in my opinion, invented goth or at least popularized it. their earlier stuff had more of a punk sound but every one of their albums is a perfect 10 to me. they're one of my favorite bands of all time and i could go on about them for hours so i'll leave it there. joy division, also more goth/post-punk but i love them, i have one of their album covers tattooed on my forearm lmao 19 year old decisions. no regrets (i also love the smiths, but they're not really punk punk.)

before you ask, no sex pistols!!! don't get me started on how much i hate the sex pistols i will throw up! god they suck. to me at least.

a lot of punks also listen to ska - no, not that kind of ska. 70/80s ska that originated from rocksteady/reggae. some of my faves in that arena being madness, the specials, bad manners, and the beat.

and as for across the pond - american punk artists.

johnny cash. no, seriously. man was punk before punk was defined.

my favorite band is probably social distortion. they're pretty different than those mentioned above, owing to their unmistakable americana sound and aesthetic. to me they're the quintessential rockabilly revival band, heavily influenced by country and blues. great guitar licks. think wistful and reckless all at once.

their frontman mike ness is an outrageously gorgeous man. he has two solo albums that absolutely slap. the happiest day of my life was seeing them live a couple years ago and he winked right at me - i promise i'm not delusional i swear he really did. ok i digress.

dead kennedys - hilarious lyrics and sick ass bass lines, very political and generally pretty iconic. one of my dad's faves. the cramps and the misfits. two bands overlapping goth + punk + psychobilly. pioneers of a campy subgenre known as horror-punk. i also really like danzig, the misfits frontman's solo career.

the velvet underground/lou reed - great example of american proto-punk. very NYC vibes. the pixies are a more grungy, later punk band. one of my mommy's favorites <3 i would unironically name my child velouria. definitely iconic but i find them overplayed sometimes, as in you've probably heard them at the grocery store.

this barely scratches the surface btw but i think that about covers it for today. sorry if i bored you to death pls come back and keep me company. peace and love on planet mpregfrance <3

#thank u as always anon #ask and ye shall receive #punk #music recs #spotify #playlist #punk playlist #ska #goth #psychobilly #rockabilly

[orangetangyorka]

I'm gonna ramble for a minute, cause I'm finding this whole situation interesting.

.

I feel like, currently, TTTE Twitter and Tumblr users are like cats who just got introduced. Curiously sniffing eachother, maybe batting eachother on the nose, seeing what's up, Yk?

And honestly I welcome a lot of the user's! I think they're gonna add a lot to the community. The artists and theorists of ttte twitter are incredible.

Its just, y'all on twitter, the environment there is kinda... Toxic? And I think a lot of us came to Tumblr because of that, I definitely did, Tumblr is a lot more welcoming to new ideas? (Or at least that's my experience.)

We have our aus (human, animal, ect), we make the engines do the kith, some of us like AEG and BwBa and are vocal about it. And on twitter, a lot of y'all bully people who post stuff like that? Like, I'm sorry but ya do?

(to go back to the cats) we got here first, and we don't take kindly to this new cat, it smells odd, and keeps sleeping in our sunny spot!

And that's why a lot of folk might seem a little cold rn, it's us trying to keep our little fandom safe from that twitter toxicity.

Keep that toxic shit with Elon Musk and his fanboys, it has no place here.

And if you absolutely DESPISE human AUs. Block the tag! Honestly, block people liberally!

Block me! Block him! Block her! Block them! Curate your own experience!

.

TL;DR: don't treat Tumblr like twitter, treat Tumblr like Tumblr.

#ttte #ttte Twitter #? #idk #i quite like the cat analogy #we'll soon be asleep on the same cat bed #but for now you gotta treat this scratching post with respect. #long post #ttte tumblr #forgot that one #idk how people are tagging these tbh

[hautecoldture]

ColdFlash fanmerch response summary!

I'm happy to share an update based on the collective responses to the interest check survey and share my plan for next steps. TL;DR several designs are underway and I'm excited :D

First up, a response summary of the major takeaways.

Most wanted fanmerch items:

1. Plush 2. Keychains 3. Stationery 4. Enamel Pins (tied) 4. Custom Figurines/Statues 5. Drinkware 6. Wearable/useable accessories (hats, socks, scarves, bags) 7. Soft home goods (blankets, towels, pillows)

Since plush took an early lead, and because it will take the longest in terms of manufacturing time, I got underway with plush designs foremost. While I would love to make all of these things, I’m figuring out what will be most viable to make and how I can supplement options for the rest via my existing print-on-demand storefronts.

Thinking about costs:

Another factor that I want to be considerate of based on responses is the overall cost for any items I make; for example, while I could design super-detailed and intricate poseable plush with removable clothes, they would easily cost $100+ USD each and - while I'm sure they'd be neat - they'd be rather unaffordable. As I'm planning to front the manufacturing costs for everything, they'd also be quite the investment for me too;;;

So, the plush I'm designing will be smaller (around 10 centimeters) with a keychain attachment, and my goal is to try to get the set of both to be around $40 USD (+shipping) or under, which will be a challenge but I'm happy to be working with a great manufacturer to bring these lads to life!

For other items I’d like to tackle, I’m similarly aiming to be mindful of overall cost, especially for this first batch of items; I’d rather err on the side of caution and approachability however I can.

How will the merch be sold?

When merch items eventually go up for sale, it will be via Etsy as the primary storefront. This is for a few reasons:

Platform familiarity & safety for both buyers and sellers.

Etsy has price breaks on shipping and has other things set up that make it internationally viable - Etsy did the hard work with navigating VAT so I don’t have to!

While Etsy does have some fees/cost to me as the seller, I can factor those into the overall cost of any item being sold through there without it being a massive extra cost (both in terms of time & money).

What’s it gonna look like?

In terms of design aesthetic, the predominant preferences were for either stylized realism or cuter stuff, with an excellent additional write-in contingent of folks who like it when things err on the side of subtle. I like to call this latter design aesthetic “secret handshake” where it’s a strong design first, and then - upon closer inspection - you notice the reference; this tends to be more approachable for folks to incorporate into everyday situations like taking/wearing something to work no matter what their dayjob situation is like! Obviously each option has its own challenges and lends to certain things more than others, so it’s going to be fun to balance designs for these approaches with some different items. I’m happily comfortable creating in all of these design styles and excited to do more!

Fanzine interest summary:

100% of responses are interested in a fanzine!

100% of responses indicated support for a fanzine which included a mix of both new and old/previously-shared works.

Format preference is for a main fanzine to be G/T (using AO3 ratings), with an optional secondary collection separate from the zine for any M/E/NSFW content.

I’m excited at the prospect of working together with folks to craft a fanzine! Before doing that, however, I’d process to do some diligence for organization and planning so that it won’t be a doomed undertaking before it begins. I also obviously won’t be tackling that on my own so would want to determine a team and process for production and transparency. Pre-orders also present their own tricky challenges but are often necessary when doing production runs for unknown interest without taking on a great individual financial burden up-front, so I’d want to ensure the zine for any M/E/NSFW content.

HOKAY - thank you for reading through all of that! I'm not sure how much folks are interested in me sharing about the info and process but I'm happy to do so - feel free to ask :D

#ColdFlash #fanmerch #interest check #fanmerch process #hello I like to make things and I'm excited to make fandom things WOO

[happysadyoyo]

Hey I think you were a person I've seen dissect Serano's work pointing out the negative things said about trans mascs. I came across this post and while this quote seems positive toward trans mascs, stuff earlier in the article don't seem great but I'm worried I'm just hanging onto biases from her earlier work. Do you have thoughts?

https://at.tumblr.com/asterosian/704465315608870913/k1dj12qys9u7

Oof okay I have to admit I'm very biased against her, so reading this will be a challenge (also thanks, I think this is the kick I need to get back to reading Whipping Girl, knowing she's got another book out that may pertain to trans masculinity).

I'm gonna pull out some quotes from her article I feel pertinent to touch on, whether in agreement or not. This is gonna be long.

tl;dr She's still minimizing trans masculine issues, throwing AFAB folks under the bus, utilizing POC for her own end when she can, and is a hypocrite within the same page. And nonbinary folk don't exist.

So yeah, the coat of paint is new, but it doesn't really feel like her attitude towards nonbinary and masculine people have changed. And she tries to relabel rad fems as cultural fems. Which... no. Cultural feminism afaik has a totally different connotation now with lib fem than whatever it was in the 80's.

 Some of the insights that I uncover in Sexed Up are pertinent to the aforementioned “perpetually male privileged” claims levied against trans women. In addition, they also shed light onto why bisexual women are analogously dismissed as “perpetually heterosexual privileged” in some of these same settings.

But men aren't also dismissed as heterosexually privileged if they're bi/pan/aro/ace? This is speculative, but I do thing that there are probably a lot more bisexual men out there who don't know because they've been taught to reject their attraction towards men their entire lives... not unlike how women are taught the same but women are also more encouraged to be in touch with their emotions. Men aren't.

This is a nitpick admittedly. Of course she's gonna focus on women, like how I focus on men. But idk, if I was actually writing for a general audience, I'd want to be as even-handed as possible.

 I will also consider how said purity politics underlie recent debates between trans female/feminine and trans male/masculine communities.

Color me unexcited.

In Sexed Up, I discuss all these various forms of sexualization in depth and detail how they play out with regards to specific marginalized groups (e.g., people of color, people with disabilities, and LGBTQIA+ people, amongst others).

I'm highlighting this mostly because of my experience with Whipping Girl is ringing eerily similar to this article. Mainly in that Serano likes to reference work I don't have access to and just assumes she is right.

I'm thinking specifically on her assertations on Navajo gender identities and saying they are trans feminine actually (or something similar) and her source was like... another college educated white person who just so happened to be a dude. It's why I want to eventually go through my notes and read all her sources and do an annotated version of her book.

I just really don't trust her with identities outside of her own is what I'm saying. Maybe she's changed, but I don't have access to her new book atm, just this article (sorry I might read her other article she linked at the top later but not right now).

As an example, falsely smearing a marginalized individual as a “slut,” or “pervert,” or “faggot,” or “predator,” or “groomer” typically has little to do with finding them attractive and/or wanting to use them sexually, but has everything to do with invoking sexual stigma in order to defame, humiliate, or ostracize them.

I don't disagree with this bit. Though I'd throw off the word little because we can't know what's going on in someone's mind. It can be a complex mixture of it all in a gross, confusing slurry of unexpressed emotion.

This imagined “sexual corruption” is especially acute for minority women: If a billboard ad featured a white, cisgender, thin, able-bodied woman wearing a sexy outfit, many passersby wouldn’t even notice it, but if the model were Black, or transgender, or fat, or disabled, or some combination thereof, it might strike them as “sexually inappropriate.”

A really more straightforward example would've been porn stars. Actresses (esp white actresses) who have fucked black men tend to have lower prices attached to their work afterwards. I wish I remembered where I read that so I could link to it, but it's been awhile. And for me I think it makes sense logically. She's "corrupted" herself with another race or w/e. Stupid blatant racism but a very obvious example.

Even more obvious: the amount of women who get devalued for having an only fans and how their SO's are treated.

And if a person intentionally hurts or humiliates another person, we often call them a “dick.”

What does this have to do with penises being imbued with metaphysical powers in society?

While penises, and those who are attached to them, are not stigmatized themselves, they do seem to possess the ability to impart sexual stigma upon others. [Sexed Up, p. 164]

Once again, Serano cuts her own nose to spite her face. She tries to be even-handed while focusing on women, but as soon as she quotes her own work (hence the italics) we can see her laying down the blanket statement again.

Men are stigmatized for having sex. It's just not in the same way women are. And it's different depending on the specific sub-culture you're in. Sub-culture specifically because Serano, despite her claims otherwise, I will not believe is capable of looking past the US. That's my bias.

While a significant number of women commit acts of sexual violence, people tend to view these incidents as less serious and less harmful than similar acts committed by men — this is likely due to the imagined “lack of penis” required to initiate sex and to bestow sexual stigma upon the victim.

Oh good, I was worried she wouldn't talk about women committing acts of sexual violence.

For starters, gender and sexual minorities are often viewed as “sexually deviant” or “sexually deceptive” for our failure to comply with Predator/Prey’s roles and rules. As a result, people may view us as “marked by sex” — imbued with sexual stigma that others may fear they might “catch” from us, potentially being “turned queer” themselves in the process. 

I don't disagree again. It's a bit thing, and I think part of that fear in some people is actually repressed sexual or romantic or gender specific identities. It's scary to be confronted with something you thought was a fact but might not be... and for a lot of those people, if they soul searched they'd find themselves happy with their identity as it is.

Anyway a good recent example of what Serano is talking about here is ROGD --- rapid onset gender dysphoria. The thing that people claim is turning all the girls trans.

It also explains why so-called “lesbian porn” made by and for straight men is not considered threatening. This genre typically portrays two women kissing and fondling one another, but the “real sex” doesn’t start until the male protagonist shows up (with his penis) to pronounce “can I join you ladies?”

What the fuck porn are you watching Serano? When I look up lesbian porn, the only dicks involved are strap ons. And this isn't like. Specialty stuff. It's fucking free on pornhub and xnxx.

I realize I'm outing where I watch porn here but whatever. One day I can afford to pay decently.

Okay then there's some talk about how for bi men they're seen as gay and bi women as straight (nb/agender people not invited), some gold star lesbianism and how penises are seen as corrupting. Glad she's pointing out the penis hatred in lesbian circles (rad fems called out? nice).

Hm then something about how bi women in relationships with other women are uniquely targeted with heterosexual privilege which just doesn't smell right to me but I can't put my finger on why.

when people start wielding terms like “privilege” (or “socialization”) in non-nuanced ways — and especially when they frame these as perpetual statuses that are impervious to change — the concern they are raising has little (if anything) to do with actual oppression or marginalization.

Really Serano? Where's the "doubt" meme because

Go read the full thing here; it's infuriating. Basically, she's saying the rise in the use of TME/TMA as rigid labels is because trans male and masculine folks are upset that they're so overlooked and are pushing back on the fact trans women actually get highlight even in issues that uniquely affect us (the amount of times I heard people complaining trans women don't need ObGyn visits so why are we trying to bring up trans people...)

Also the bs that AFAB trans people highlighting the F in their AGAB means that trans women must also highlight the M in their AGAB... like Serano if that was true and we need to coin flip this bitch all the time, well, why do your adherents hate the term transandrophobia so much?*

*this is actually a lot more nuanced and if prompted, I'll go into a deeper dive on why one group trying to emphasize their marginalized status a certain way doesn't mean the coin flip group has to mimic their behavior in any way but not right now. But if you want to hear my thoughts, I beg you, send me an ask. I'll Go Off.

And in my experience, lesbians who are suspicious of trans women are usually suspicious of bi+ women as well, and vice versa. 

Name. Them. They're rad fems Serano. It won't hurt you to admit it.

Okay, she goes on a thing about cultural feminism. I'll bookmark that to read later I think. It's already 1:30. I've spent 30 minutes reading and responding after spending an hour trying to dethaw my lock to get inside after work.

Most radical feminists were careful to identify the male role rather than maleness as the problem. 

This is a quote pulled from the article Serano links about cultural feminism. I hate to tell Serano this (I don't) but this... things have fucking changed since the 1980's. Radical feminists now very much blame men for the problem, not just their maleness. That's why there's so much overlap with TERFS! They're literally rad ems!!!

Serano then goes on to talk about how they call themselves radical feminists and thus TERFs and it's like... what distinction are you trying to make here? This is worthless except to make me angry!

Cultural feminists sometimes collaborate with social conservatives and the far-right on certain issues — most notably, their anti-trans, anti-pornography, and anti-sex-work positions.

I don't understand her resistance to calling them radfems. They are radical feminists. Even if in the 1980's it was something different, it's been 40 fucking years. We didn't have smartphones or accessible cellphones back in the 80's. Get with the fucking program.

Blah blah stuff we already recognize about how radfems see trans women as inherently predatory and dangerous because they got penises. Nobody I know argues against that.

Okay yes, here we are talking about trans men.

Cultural feminist views of trans male/masculine people are more complex and varied. 

Yep, this is why we should have our own word, to better discuss these complexities separate from mere misogyny or transmisogyny. There's an inherent overlap with being once seen as a woman/girl and "choosing" to become more masculine, whether you're actually nonbinary or fully male.

Gender traitors, lesbians escaping the patriarchy, groomed by TRAs. Check, check, check. Irreversible Damage, oh that's an easy ---

And who is supposedly doing this “seducing”? Trans female/feminine people, of course. 

Do you here the tires of my brain screeching? I'm shocked my ears aren't bleeding. They actually popped. Just. Holy shit, the presumption.

What about ROGD Serano? The thing Irreversible Damage is about? The thing that "spreads" across "girl" groups? "AFAB" groups? Where are the trans women in this Serano? Do you want my ears to pop?

Okay, okay, five minutes and I've calmed down. I'll let Serano finish.

Another “gender critical” author, Kathleen Stock, has remarked that, “The autogynephilia tail is wagging the puberty-blocking dog,” adding that, “many of the loudest (partly because male) voices policing critical discussion of the treatment of ‘trans’ kids barely disguise their autogynephilia.”

Oh, so one other TERF author blamed it on the trans women. So because of that, you ignored other sources talking about it spreading across "girl" groups. As in AFAB. As in not trans women. Okay. My jaw does not hurt from clenching right now.

In their imaginations, “transgender” is a “sexually deviant and predatory man,” and “children” are conceptualized as safe, pure, and vulnerable “girls” who are in danger of being “corrupted” by a “male-borne” sexual “contagion.” It’s Predator/Prey thinking writ large.

Yeah, I wonder why the general public only think trans women exist (general public, not the public with young trans people coming out as their sons or daughters). It doesn't have anything to do with your hyper-visibility that trans men were complaining about and you defended those trying to shut them up with TME labels despite it going against what you wrote in this very article???

Here’s another way of framing this “gender critical”/cultural feminist perspective: Trans female/feminine people are viewed as inherently “contaminating” (we “corrupt” those we come into contact with), whereas trans male/masculine people are viewed as merely “contaminated” (i.e., they’ve been “corrupted” by someone else). As a result, the latter may be “redeemable,” at least to some extent or in certain cases. 

The emphasis (bold) is mine.

And here's the crux of my issue with Serano. She absolutely refuses to let go of the idea that trans women are not the most oppressed actually and there's a lot of give and take where sometimes trans women as a group might come out on top. Not that it matters in the long run because it all washes out compared to the cis world around us but she won't even entertain the idea. She has to make sure that we know that trans men and masculine people (in her view, AFAB people) aren't as oppressed as trans women/feminine people (in her view, AMAB people). And her putting masculine/male doesn't erase her total lack of a nonbinary perspective.

Cultural feminists also tend to view trans male/masculine people as relatively “safe” given that they are supposedly “innately female” and “lacking” the organ that imparts sexual stigma (and perpetrates sexual violence) upon other people.

This went with the above quote. I'm just pulling it out to show how she treats transandrophobia like its a good thing/privilege (but god forbid trans men act like trans women's visibility is a privilege because there's so many drawbacks---yeah like there is for being seen as "safe").

On the trans male/masculine spectrum, there can be a similar temptation to appease cultural feminists’ notions of “purity” and “safeness.” 

She also looks down on trans women who emphasize their post op status btw. She just really does not like hyper feminine trans women (see my videos where she complains about movies with hyper femme trans women), and she does not like trans men not entirely divorcing themselves from their AGAB. How dare we I guess?

Sorry that I was born and raised a girl and I still see my younger self as a girl. I'm not you Serano. I'm not going to act like my growth as a trans person is a model for everyone else and thus invalidate all nonbinary identities.

Whether intentional or not, these sorts of appeals tend to reinforce the idea that AMAB people (such as trans women and trans femmes) are indeed “dangerous” and should be excluded. 

Talking about trans men "playing up the F in AFAB" to access women spaces. Please someone send me an ask about this specifically so I have an excuse to go off tomorrow after work.

At the start of this essay, I brought up “recent debates between trans female/feminine and trans male/masculine communities.”

Okay awesome I'm ready. I'm not reading the linked article tonight, maybe I will if asked, but for now it's 2 AM.

So suffice it to say that some of the disagreements I’ve seen seem to stem from this imagined AFAB “vulnerability” and “safeness,” and imagined AMAB “contamination” and “dangerousness.”

Emphasis (bold) mine.

Imagined vulnerability.

Serano making me throw up in my mouth at 2 AM.

And as usual, it’s the supposedly “contaminated” group (in this case, trans female/feminine people) who gets accused of being “oppressive” in some way or other. 

Sure am glad that she chose not to go into specifics! Give us concrete examples please!

On more than one occasion, I have seen trans male/masculine people of color point out that this notion of “inherent AFAB safeness” is not generally extended to them.

But, notably, not the vulnerability. Just want to point that out. Trans MOC are just as vulnerable if not more so by fact of being men of color. White women hold so much power over them in public spaces.

It should be clear by this point that we must purge these cultural radical feminist frameworks from our minds. 

Fixed that for you. Stop trying to label them something new.

When you embrace the fact that the world sees you as “dirty” and “contaminated,” you make different art, and you gravitate toward different forms of activism.

I'm still not following links outside the article, but I don't disagree with this statement. You'll be seeing some of my own work related to this later next year.

'Being a freak] made me suspicious of appeals to “purity” and “safety” (after all, what feels “safe” to some people may in fact be “dangerous” to others). 

Would it surprise you Serano I have trouble feeling safe around women?

She also stops on the different art after talking about how in your face her poetry used to be. This is something else I really want someone to send me an ask about. I'm begging you.

#julia serano

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Hey, I know you're a Projmoon fan, I guess I'm curious because I'm at an impasse on what to do rn, did you play through the entirety of Lobotomy Corporation, did you just skip it entirely for Ruina, or did you read a summary/watch a cutscene compilation or let's play/something else? And what would you recommend as an approach? I've tried playing through Lobcorp but it's just extremely tedious and I'm considering skipping it to get to something I think I'll like more (Ruina)

oh!! ok my answer is a little bit complicated tbh; bc i havent. played any of the series at all. WAHAHA

what i personally did was um. attempt to watch an incomplete lobcorp lp ==> couple months radio silence ==> watched one (1) day of gameplay from a friend (for one boss fight specifically) ==> got recc'd summaries i slowly watched thru ==> couple months radio silence. ==> watched someone else's (actually complete) lp ==> (rabbit hole'd) summaries again.

um. dont do that. JSNBGKHDBK

im not gonna act like i Know how t tackle a series like this (since it took me like 4 circles around to Actually Commit to it (and also im kind of. new. here)) BUT from my personal opinion of the series and how it carries itself, i CAN recc at least Some order of something.

TRY to play Lobcorp! which i can kinda see is already done on your end. its something i Super want to try but absolutely know i wont finish SKJFNKDJF;; the main draw of PLAYING lobcorp is the struggle. it Sucks! its Long and Tedious and the game HATES you... and that's the point! it's plot relevant. it's an experience i didnt get to feel, but can so painfully just Understand by merit of watching someone else do it, only skipping about occasionally. tl;dr: the game loop is Telling A Story, Dragging You In-- THAT is the draw in insisting folks play it. it genuinely makes the... everything... hit that much harder. Once youve given it your best, dont feel ashamed to look for someone who's Done It! (i hear a lot of folks havent completed lobcorp themselves, so ✌) DONT UM . SKIP IT COMPLETELY THOUGH ruina is literally a Direct Sequel to it. i think it does a good enough job at introducing the setting on its own, but i am GRABBING YOU this shit will hit fucking DIFFERENT if you Understand. also its a lovely game worth looking at and appreciating bc GOD what a fucking experience those last few days are. i do not cry that easily to stuff like this but OUGH. AUGH. H

Wonderlab??? its a webcomic thats heavily reccommended you read through, but due to um. circumstances . it doesnt seem t be feasible atm. however, there IS a synopsis up thats pretty darn good! wonderlab, iirc, isn't directly plot relevant, but DOES introduce certain important concepts for ruina. however, it's not Mandatory, as ruina Also explains these things. as far as i know, its just a fun lil kickass story in the universe taking place between series you can look at if you want :)

Play Ruina! or watch, i guess. again, i watched an lp and it kicked the shit out of me emotionally (affectionate) so honestly do what you will here, i suppose.

honestly though, these are both super fucking long-ass and ridiculously heavy games so you're probably gonna be here a while. it took me like two weeks of committed watch time t look into Properly, and that was even when i started skipping straight to cutscenes at the latter half. embrace that! i cant stop you, but id heavily reccommend at the very least watching through the gameplay loop for a good chunk of the time-- giving the story that space really hammers home the... Everything. heavily heavily recc letting it Have that space.

for ruina specifically though, definitely at least watch through the beginning and ending legs of every fight-- and at least a solid chunk of every boss fight. if you're intent on skipping round gameplay loops like i did, imean. watch the boss fights watch the boss fights these fuckers do NOT play around. i cannot applaud these games' soundtracks enough and i wont say anything but trust me trust me trust me.

ANYWAY. here's the stuff that was recc'd to me, personally! if you wanna give watching through the series a go! :]

Lobcorp LP: [x] (Commentated+Completed! I couldn't find any no-commentary ones that were finished, but honestly for its gameplay loop it Helps. Blind on his end, but he does genuinely really like the series so i give it a thumbs up ✌) Ruina LP: [x] (Same guy :] also completed!) Lobcorp SUMMARY: [x] (Brief, but a good opener+summary!) Wonderlab SUMMARY: [x] (It Sure Is Wonderlab!!) Ruina SUMMARY: [x] [x] (Actually incomplete, but goes pretty well in depth and is easy to watch+absorb.) Alt SUMMARY: [x] (Consists of both parts of the duology! I haven't actually watched it in a while so i don't exactly remember much t say about it, but it sure is on my list!)

#TAG ESSAY BUT ITS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY HI <33 #pikasks #long post #speaking only what i know and feel from th short amount i can speak for!!!!!! #VERY VERY good game series though when it hits it fucking HITS. #its just 'im in hell im in hell im in hell im in hell-- OH FUCK.' #transitioning to a slightly more jaded 'ah. hell. --OH FUCK.' #ANYWAY. for lobcorp; abnormality lore isnt PLOT IMPORTANT but it IS very very fun storytelling so if you like fun spooky stuff. nods. #again-- do what you will and what you think is most fun-- this is just what i think would have th most impact! #for me tho watching the summaries THEN the gameplay helped a lot bc i do Not retain info well at ALL #. i also get really stressed when characters are in danger and i dont know what will happen to them so that helped there too KSJNFKJD #again. heavy heavy series but if its your speed its SO worth it. #ALLSO THERES CONTENT WARNINGS HI YEAH theres an image available but tbh most of it isnt that bad. #EXCEPT ONE INSTANCE. if you dont wanna know when dont read ahead BUT #REALLY HEAVY BODY HORROR AND GORE WARNING for one specific part of ruina-- nothing good happens on trains. <3 #it builds up to it very well so you can see it coming p easy-- no jumpscares-- but YEA THAT BODY SURE CAN HORROR. #THATS ALL. OK. HAVE FUN <33

[iviarellereads]

The Plan, Such As It Is

tl;dr: System Collapse finishes the Murderbot series on Christmas. Last week of the year is a break, and then it's the Wheel of Time with likely between-book breaks for one-offs or shorter series, and someday maybe Alecto the Ninth.

I had a great time watching Desert Bus, and helping with the VST documenting and editing and uploading clips of the process of raising over a million dollars (over ten million in the lifetime of the event!) for a good cause. A most excellent week of "restoring my faith in humanity". But that's a little beside the point of this post.

I also got my hands on System Collapse, but because of how my brain works, I won't be reading it ahead, so we're going to have lots of fun as I read it for the first time in the format of the blog. Let's see if my style changes, if my predictions are well on or off the mark. (I have seen a few posts that spoiled a few moments and character bits, but I'm not concerned about those. I rarely feel like learning things that happen "ruins" anything about an experience anyway. If the story's well told, it's still fun to experience for myself.)

After System Collapse, well, that's the end of Murderbot to-date. And, I haven't run any polls for covering other things. That's because I'm pretty well set on rereading the Wheel of Time series, and revising my previous notes to this format.

It's something I could keep putting off, but the show has gotten so good, and it reminds me of all the things about the books that I loved so much (and how the show is fixing some things I didn't love). I'll also be very excited to do full-series spoiler posts again, Murderbot didn't have a lot that I felt needed commenting on, but the Wheel? Oh, buddy.

But, the caveat here is that the Wheel of Time has, well, fifteen very large books. Eleven thousand pages, over four million words. Coverage would take about three years if I didn't take breaks for other books in between, and I definitely will, so we're gonna be here for a while. I've said before that I was hesitant to cover Discworld for this, and I still am. Discworld has over forty books just in the main series besides the spinoffs, with a comparable total wordcount to WoT. Several of those, I have negative interest in ever rereading. Even if they're largely shorter than WoT bricks, they're also trickier to split, and I won't have as much context to share about them that isn't available elsewhere already. Whereas, the Wheel of Time lacks a lot of spoiler-free resources in print, despite the series being almost 35 years old. There was a huge influx of podcast coverage once the show publicity ramped up, but not so much blog style content. The few prologues and chapters that do need splitting, I've already calculated out from the first time I took the notes.

Mind you, I will be finding time for Alecto the Ninth coverage when Tamsyn Muir finally graces us with her presence, I'll just take a break between whichever WoT books I'm up to by then. And if something else strikes my fancy, I might alternate books. Like, making it through the Eye of the World might scratch the itch well enough, and make me want to dig into the Princess Bride as I threatened to once before, or perhaps when I reach my least favourite sequence of books in the middle, I'll alternate them with the His Dark Materials trilogy, though probably not its supplementary later materials because I'm still refusing to read the Book of Dust.

I totally understand if folks who followed me for other stuff want to jump ship when my WoT coverage starts. I love and can recommend it with some massive content notes and caveats which will be in my intro post for it, but it's not for everyone and treating it like a universal joy is nonsense. But, especially if you can get a library borrow of the first book, whether you get it in print or ebook or either of the incredible audiobook narrations (the full series by Michael Kramer and Kate Reading, or the first three are now available narrated by Rosamund Pike, who plays the character of Moiraine Sedai on the show), I hope you'll give it a try with me, and my analysis and commentary might help pull you into a series that's otherwise quite intimidating.

So, System Collapse will finish posting on Christmas, I think I'll take the last week of the year as a breather, and the Wheel of Time will kick off my 2024. I hope you'll consider sticking around and reading with me, especially my Locked Tomb girlies because I've said it before and I'll say it again, these two stories have SO much in common, hashtag Women's Wrongs and unreliable narrators. And, I am gonna try to break it up every so often since these are LONG books, most of them have 40+ chapters so will be two months apiece. But either way, if I'm gonna follow my heart, it's gotta be next.

#blog housekeeping

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Kix's last ever live show Part 2- the show

So yes, I drove 3 hours to Columbia, MD just to get my heart brutally torn to pieces and left in the rain. By the time Kix actually came on the alcohol i chugged started to hit (it took like an HOUR) and it made me wanna scream at all the photographers to go fuck themselves

TL;DR- it was underwhelming?

they opened with Atomic Bombs- which was bittersweet I guess but I love it when they open with Hot Wire the most

seeing Ronnie made me so happy

since my seat was literally as far to stage left as you could go, the concrete steps were right next to me, as was a rail, and i could stand on the concrete and hold onto the rail and go nuts

that is until a security person told me to stop fgeoirngerngfdnd

in the moment i had fun but as soon as the moment was over it was back to heartache

Steve never opened up his shirt which was disappointing

when they did Midnite Dynamite there were BIG COLUMNS OF FIRE ??? SHOOTING OUT FROM THE HUGE HIGH UP PLATFORM THEY HAD ?? I was at least 30-40 feet away from it and i could FEEL THE HEAT

same thing goes for huge spark fountains (except for the heat part)

they did three medleys of obscure songs (but I'm gonna be honest I didn't recognize most of them)

the first medley, they did Body Talk and as soon as they started playing it, Steve stuck his finger down his throat like he was trying to make himself puke from hearing it rtgnnsadiofifearf

every medley was basically Steve judging the songs on whether he likes them or not it was funny

seeing the girl money glasses for the last time ugh concerts will never be the same if they're not kix

Steve always leads up to Scarlet Fever with "this song is about dirty diseases" or something like that, and he said something about "you gotta wear a condom to not get those diseases but condoms are no fun right they're just not fun"

the Itch and the crowd singalong and Steve always picking on people never ever fails to crack me up

when they played For Shame, Steve walked into the crowd and walked around and shook people's hands and gave hugs and stuff and the second he started singing while doing this i fucking lost it and tears were running down my face it was so bittersweet it was like he was trying to thank every individual person

idk why I always forget about Cold Shower when it's like the sluttiest of all slut songs

Ronnie did the guitar solo leading up to Cold Blood and I'm sorry Ronnie but I'm used to Bob and I like Bob's solo better but seeing Ronnie finally in the place where he was supposed to be this whole time was bittersweet

big balloons falling from the ceiling

confetti cannons and one not going off until the next song

Steve doing more jumping than normal during Blow My Fuse

i wish Steve did the full feature length Yeah Yeah Yeah monologue

^^that was their last song

i always forget how much steve says "aiight"

when their set was done, Steve introduced some people in their crew and management

when everyone walked offstage, and really only steve was left, he imitated Porky Pig and went "t-tha-th-that's all, folks!" and left the stage.

imo the setlist could've been a lot better bc a lot of their hard-hitters were cut (like Hot Wire, Same Jane, Kix Are For Kids, Sex, etc) but i guess the medleys were more important. The show also felt really short? It was under 2 hours and imo the whole thing felt really underwhelming, like I was expecting a huge extra long super exciting show but this was like... below average? Like yeah there were more stage effects and two guest members and three medleys but- it just didn't make it feel any more special than a normal Kix show, yknow? It almost felt like they were in a hurry to finish (the set feeling quick made it feel like this, not their actual performance. In fact- this entire rushed retirement seemed like they were in a hurry to retire...).

I don't know if it's because I wasn't at the barrier like I always am for Kix or the fact I had my heartbreak on pause or what, but to me it just felt really underwhelming? I went back to my hotel afterwards feeling similar to how i felt in my hotel after the last night of M3; dumped.

I'm still in shock that it's all over, and that it ended this way- with absolute silence and a soul-crushing shame. I can't ever forget the fun I've had with Kix over the past year, though. I just wish to god it had ended differently.

EDIT: I was trying to kill Mark with my mind last night. Tried to shoot lasers from my eyes. When he walked offstage he walked in my direction and I glared at him as hard as I could. I knew he couldn't see me, let alone recognize me, but he was looking in my direction.

EDIT #2: after steve walked through the crowd and went back on the stage, he said "that was fun. i hope none of yall have herpes *wipes hand on his shirt* I got that when it first came out!!"

#concert log #concerts #kix #i told that motherfucker mark i would always be there for them and that i'd always be in their debt too #i fucking told that fucker i was grateful for him #i fucking told him he meant a lot to me #god i feel like a fucking fool #i don't know how i'm ever gonna have the balls to ask people for passes now #i feel like my creative soul has been contaminated and my heart's literally gone missing #i feel this massive hole in my chest where my heart should be and it hurts so fucking bad #like for fuck's sake mark look what you've done to me #i need my heart back

[flowergoddesszoe]

This is not only my first actual post on here, it's also my...

Obligatory Charmed! 2023 Recap Post

I’ve spent the past few days trying to figure out how to write about my first in-person Charmed! experience. Where do I start? What do I share? What don't I share? :catsmirk: 

Do I start by describing my first experience with TSA as a trans woman (tl;dr—“anomaly in the genital region”) or work backward from my rather better TSA experience coming back home from BWI (“Ha! Fools! My crotch-glamor grows in strength with every act of systemic transphobia visited upon me!”). 

Well.... This is going to be messy and incomplete and I guess I’ve got to be okay with that. iOS wants to spell-correct “Charmed!” to “Charned!” and I am not gonna waste valuable fucks to correct each and every infraction my bimbo-pilled phone makes. 

I’m not really going to talk about the classes I took because as great as they were (omg, the pet play one). This isn’t journalism. This is complicated and my brain is tired.

I’m gonna do this the PhosphenousFox-ADHD-Brain-Way

Fun Stuff I Did

Got to be a demo bottom for five minutes and get dropped with a touch-based induction in front of a class

Elevator Fractionation: I tranced my friend to briefly drop into trance every time the elevator doors shut (except when normies were about) and to be pulled up when the elevator doors opened (yet another safety).

Made some new friends (it turns out cute trans girls really are in my area, or at least only a couple of hours away)

Ate tasty brisket at Mission BBQ

Getting to wear a bra with conductive thread woven through it and then having my boobs zapped with a violet wand in the dark (TRON boobs)

Saw many folks whom I have seen in online spaces and classes in person for the first time!

Having one of my favorite hypnosmut authors join my crew's table at breakfast and sharing discord emojis of our cats

One of the demo bottoms from a class I attended said hi to me and called me beautiful 😭😭😭

The Not-Fun Stuff

My pants split down the middle while I was helping a friend unload her merch from her truck and we had to go to Target to buy me new pants.

I was awake for 36 hours by the time I fell asleep Thursday night.

I had a panic attack and felt a wave of imposter syndrome Friday afternoon. A good friend took me aside and calmed me down and said something that had never been explicitly stated: "You belong here. You are not an interloper."

Constantly self-judging my appearance (despite the fact we all were wearing masks!).

Saturday night con drop 😞

Silently crying at 3 AM in the bathtub because I missed my partner (she wasn't able to come with me to the con because of scheduling conflicts and she's a major source of emotional support for me)

The classes were great and many were ones I'd seen attending Charmed! Online in 2022 (my first year). But I think I missed a real opportunity by focusing so much on classes at the expense of informal socializing.

As sort of a postscript: Until a few months ago, most of my trancing experience has been via Discord servers and as fun as that's been, this con has made me realize how much more I love in-real-life hypno experiences. It wasn't just the immediacy of doing things in person--I really felt a sense of inclusion that I was not expecting. As a trans woman, I'm used to seeing people cis guys being casually transphobic on public hypno discord servers (which is one reason why I'm not active on those anymore). What impressed me about Charmed was that at no point did I feel uncomfortable because of my transness. It was a very welcoming environment, I felt incredibly safe, and I am going to be back next year for sure.

#charmed 2023 #hypnosis #hypnokink

[greyborn2]

🔪Choose Violence🔪

7, 8, 12!

Choose Violence Ask Game

Moreeee!! Eee!! Well fed on asks tonightttt!!! Thankee!!

7: what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them? Ok. Two answers to this question. Both I dunno if I'd go as strong as *hate* but definitely *dislike*. First was Neloth. For aaaaages I was just neutral on him. Then seeing how feral folks got for him made that neutrality sour a little to dislike. But then, researching and writing him in Lost Things Found (even if he's barely in it... so far) has really made me come around to that old man. Not a fav, but I still actually like him now. Development!!

The other one is Miraak. So, like. I'm already pretty blegh on Miraak. Not because of him as a character, but how, by them making him 'actually no, this guy was the super secret first dragonborn' really really really takes away from and wounds Alessia's story and I am nothing if not an Alessia fan girl. BUT... then having him thrown in my face so much? It's embittered that blegh to mild dislike. Mild, but yea.

8: common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about Oh gosh! Few of these!! Unfortunately many have already been mentioned in previous posts. That khajiit cannot interbreed with other tamrielic races, that mehrunes dagon is boring/budget satan/just the destruction dude, that serana isn't that great actually... but. Ok. New things!! Hmmmm... honestly this one is a struggle because for the most part the TES fandom has such varied opinions and takes and stuff that it doesn't reach the point of broad consensus. I think I'm gonna twist the question a little to not that people are necessarily *wrong* about it, but that they do fail to consider all the aspects of a thing; the Thalmor.

So, like, ok. First off setting aside the 'they want to end the world' idea that is so popular because there isn't a ton of actual in-game evidence to support that. And I've talked about in game vs out of game lore in a previous ask and my thoughts on it (tl;dr, out of game lore should be supporting to an argument, not the basis of it). They are also unquestionably evil bastards for what they do to their own people and others. BUT... I honestly understand, resonate with, and sorta agree on their thoughts on Talos. This post is getting long so I won't get carried away but basically Talos was an unbridled mega-asshole. An absolute monster. And for high elves, who can live about five hundred years unaided by magic, that was only a generation ago, or even still in living memory for some. There must be high elves alive who FIRST HAND experienced the warcrime machine that is Tiber. Or heard about it and saw the scars it had left on their parents. And then... then people worship them as a god? Set aside all the evil they did and exalt them? Yea I get the pain. I really do.

12: the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them MY BESTEST BOY MEHRUNES DAGON!!!! Ok, but I talked about that in a previous post. Aside from them honestly a hard one. All the broadly unpopular characters I can think of are assholes sooo... hmmm. Difficult one. May come back to this if I think of something.

#Choose Violence #tes #the elder scrolls #wow this ended up longer than I intended

[tartrazeen]

I have finally seen Across the Spiderverse!

tl;dr - amazing movie, folks here need to be more normal about Miguel

The longer version:

1. I'm so happy you people put that "Gwen is trans" theory in my head.

I got to watch the whole beginning of the movie like, "Omg, her dad is so supportive of her!"

And then I got to watch that part where Miles tells her, "We're the same. Uh - I mean, in the important ways, we're same," and be like "(⁠☞ﾟ⁠∀ﾟ⁠)⁠☞ Solid recovery, man."

And then I got to watch the part where Gwen comes back home, and when her dad asks her where she's been, appreciate the metaphor that'd be in, "I was off murdering all my best friends." Like - oof. I would not have caught the added meaning in a trans girl telling that to her father without this theory. A bit of "I guess he's not that supportive" followed by "Oh thank God, he's going to try harder through the power of movie magic and love and acceptance."

And that really hammered home the "Spider-man is a metaphor for coming out" with Miles, because he can't exactly pull a Misha Collins and come out as straight. As bi, though? As part of a big, interconnected web of LGBTQ2I+? Yeeeesssss.

Separately from that, I hope he and Gwen get together, really building off the "I'm gonna do my own thing" arc he's going through, paired with the "It doesn't end well" bit about Gwen falling for a Spider-man.

2. Loved how quickly they set up Spot.

I get him, I get the story, but they kept the pacing perfectly focused on the Spiderverse stuff. Spot's in the background but also developed well in the background. It's a perfect case of 'not too little' but especially - more importantly! - not too much.

3. Hobie is a fucking bro.

He showed up to help everyone - like one of the first things out of his mouth was, "Hey Miles, you can do better with your powers, here's some help." Loved him. And the fucking COMMON SENSE this guy had? I loved his little "haha anarchy" jokes, but this guy was on the Spiderverse's side completely - right up until he realized, "Nope, this shit has crossed a line" and immediately fought back against them. He didn't just help Miles and then quit. He helped Miles, quit, probably left assuming that Miguel wasn't gonna go completely batshit, and despite that assumption, still had the presence of mind to pass on his not-a-watch to Gwen.

And I think someone else wrote that he ran away? I disagree with characterization. He didn't panic and leave, and he didn't even abandon anybody. He disagreed, withdrew his support, and then left the others to come around at their own speed. I mean, Miguel hurried that speed up a lot, but that just speaks to how fast Hobie moved from "I agree with the Spiderverse" to "You guys are fucking facists." And the second he was tagged to help - after realizing how correct he was about the 'facist' thing - he was immediately back to actively fighting alongside Gwen. There was no passiveness on his side whatsoever. What a bro. And he even gave Gwen a place to stay when she needed it, which was such an extra point of community. 💖

4. Uhhhhhh can everyone please be more normal about Miguel...?

Because I watched that movie. I know like 5% of who this guy is. They gave us the Cliff notes of Sad Backstory and a glimpse - a glimpse! - into how he probably felt, but it was all from behind an iron mask. We haven't gotten into any of the real him yet, just the anger and outrage and fury.

So... people taking running with an obviously incomplete character? That's normal, fine, sure.

People taking that and running with it to slot him in as an uwu Top for Peter B.? Did you only go in looking for a ship, and did you have to be so weird about making it be the guy whose only defining traits are "Big" when his other and MORE IMPORTANT defining trait is "PoC whose race has been historically and actively fetishized for being violent sex objects"? 'Cause it's like everyone just scrubbed that 5% of what we know away to put him into this predefined "Big Dom Top" role with zero self-reflection, and handwaved how that once again perpetuates every racist stereotype this relates to. All to woobify the white guy some more.

I'm all for shipping, but you people literally don't know him. His story's pretty clearly being saved for the next movie, comic book sales show so many of you don't read those and definitely didn't before this (likely just stopping at what Wikipedia says), and went off of ~v i b e s~

And just happened to not notice how creepy and fetishizing it is that those were the vibes you were left with.

5. I teared up when Miles' story started. Yes, right after the opening title.

I wasn't expecting it, but as soon as the music started and that atmosphere was set, I just got hit with such a wave of, "This is unapologetically black." I heard the Puerto Rican vibes coming in later and both of them perfectly throughout the movie, but the centering of his blackness through the music alone. It was a 'great opening for a sequel' before that point. At that point? It was 'a brand-new story.' 💖💖💖💖 Representation bbyyyyy

#across the spider verse spoilers #across the spider verse #atsv

[johnnys-green-pen]

for the ship asks, gonna give you a fun, kinda tough one. johnny and morton.

ayyyy

Y'know what? Actually probably not that tough. I would maybe ship that if I could see Morton as anything else but "married to the job".

So, Johnny and Morton. They have a really nice selection of differences and similarities.

First off, as with Brackett, you get that... hmm, I'd call it Rivals To Lovers in this case, given that Morton has neither the inclination nor the means to qualify as an enemy - but yeah, that kinda dynamic.

They're two hard-headed, opinionated people clashing - but notably also two hard-headed, opinionated people who mean well and are damned good at what they do, which is, in itself a really fun dynamic.

I'm sure they'd find stuff to bond over - both of them hinted at a kinda rough childhood, both of them probably took an interesting path to where they are, both of them have something to say about society.

Both of them are the youngest of their respective work peers, interestingly enough - more stuff to bond about.

They have the potential to make each other better people.

Morton really figures out how to show empathy and engage with people on an emotional level over the course of the show, and while I think that's largely Brackett's influence, I wouldn't be surprised if Morton learns a thing or two about bedside manner and why it's important from Johnny, too.

On the other hand, unlike a certain paramedic, Morton doesn't seem nearly as concerned with social conventions - you won't see him chasing girls just so he can tick off "have a partner" on his list of life goals. Sure, he has to make some effort to seem palatable to ~society~, but generally speaking he seems happy enough as long as people respect him as a competent doctor, and that’s a lesson that Johnny sorely needs to learn.

The potential for heartfelt conversations and emotional discovery, my folks!!

Morton seems to have a soft spot for good live music, and I would love to read a fic where Morton gets Johnny into that as well.

Also, Johnny somehow weaseling his way through Morton's hard-nosed façade is an excellent fic hook as well.

Morton + "oh shit, feelings" = fuck yeah

tl;dr, as per usual all of this would work just fine in friendship fics too, but I'm never averse to a good ship - and it would be a fascinating ship because it's way more about character development than even Johnny/Roy is.

(I do maybe ship that a little)

#catherinesclaws #emergency! #penworks #memery #.... someone write me some Johnny/Morton? #I have a Mighty Need