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thesilmarillionblog · 20 days

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𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Part: 3

Click here to read the first part!

Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: Heavy angst, hurt, cruel Soldier Boy, reader gets hurt, mention of violence, betrayal, Soldier Boy being a dick, reader is a supe, Crimson Countess is a bitch

Word Count: 2194

A/N: English is not my first language.

* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.

Ben’s lips parted to say something when you told him that he would never hear you saying those three words again, but he clenched his jaw, and his eyes sharpened with fury.

“Don’t even bother, because those words already mean nothing to me.”

You caught him looking at your lips for a second, but he let go of your chin immediately and pulled himself together like he would kiss you if he waited for another second. His unreadable face was filling your heart with hope since you knew he would be far more different if he really didn’t like you at all as he told.

You walked over to him and gently touched his rough hand, asking, “Then why does it make you mad when I tell you I would leave Payback? If you don't really care at all, why do you want me here with your side so much that you threat me with hurting Noir? Ben, please be honest with yourself, at least. I know you won't be honest with me.”

You looked at him with desperation, pleading him with your eyes and touched his hand like you could never get that chance again. You didn’t understand what exactly caused his soft side to slip in your hands so suddenly, so sharp. What had happened to you exactly? You knew it wasn’t about Crimson or someone else, but you didn’t know the cause behind why you failed to solve the true reason behind all this pain.

You withdrew your hands just before he pushed them away. When you posed those questions, he seemed so confused and lost that you nearly thought he would finally crack and put a stop to the cruelty between you going on. Since you were aware that he wasn't good at expressing his true feelings from the very beginning, you were willing to push him a little. You would fight for it if you had to be the one to help him overcome his inner demons and open himself.

“I won't be giving a fuck seeing you fucking go away if I find a stronger supe than you,” he simply said.

You answered, “Neither the team nor you need a strong one,” knowing what he was talking about was just another lie. “Ben, you never care who is powerful or not as you know you are strongest. Your ego is too big to care about what other people are capable of.”

“What on earth should I tell you to get off my ass and stop bothering the Countess and me, huh, Y/N?” He inquired, showing no interest in what you had to say. It didn't even seem like he was paying attention to what you were saying. “I'm warning you; don't talk to me about love or other bullshit again.”

He retreated a step, sat on the couch, and sniffed the cocaine on the table before his eyes darkened. When your lips parted to respond, he lifted his hand menacingly, to prevent you from say another thing to make him angrier.

He yelled, “Shut the fuck up,” and started sniffing coke before you did, startling you with his unexpected outburst. “Do you think you know me? Are you fucking naïve?”

You also raised your voice, but it was rather shaky, saying, “I do know you.” You eventually lost patience with his attitude because of how much his persistence was getting on your nerves.

“You’re a fucking naïve then,” he chuckled, but his tone was rather angry than amusing. “Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone.”

You turned away, your eyes watering, and opened the door without saying a word to Ben, fearing that he would become enraged since he was too busy getting high like a real jerk. You heard Countess's voice in the distance. She gave you a tiny smirk to irritate you, as she usually does, but you left the trailer without looking at her and without creating any drama.

After a few weeks, you gave up attempting to get in touch with Ben because you could tell he was preoccupied with all the dumb advertisements and other bullshit. You also stopped participating in anything Payback-related, even though you were still required to perform these things along with the rest of the team. You informed Earving that you were completely well and needed some time for yourself, despite the fact that he had visited your home numerous times to check on you.

But it was a lie. You were either ill or simply lovesick. You had a difficult time falling asleep since you could recall every last detail of Ben and Crimson's interactions. They appeared in every movie, television show, and advertisement. It didn't matter if you simply vanished; you couldn't run away from your own sentiments that were killing you or their reality.

Earving told you that Ben was becoming crueler and harsher to him and the rest of the crew every day, but you couldn't really care because you were most likely going through the worst.

After a month, you were compelled to flee your home due to a terrorist attack, and all of the members required you on the battlefield. Ben was busy commanding the soldiers haphazardly, using heavy and hazardous weapons like toys, and showing off his whole range of abilities to them with an arrogant smile on his face.

He was taken aback to see you because you were the last person to enter the territory. Ben walked up to you with a sneaky smile on his face after he dropped the rifle on one of the twins from his shoulder, but you turned your back on him and continued talking to some soldiers to give him courage because you didn't want to hear what Ben was about to say to distress and upset you any more.

You were desperately missing Ben and were helpless for any kind of interaction or words to rekindle your already fading hope, but you were also proud. You were aware of everything that happened between you, and excepted the turth that the wonderful memories between him and you had long faded. More than anyone you didn't get to know, he was more of a stranger than any stranger. You were certain there was nothing left in you for him to break because he had broken your heart so many times. Struggling to change the past and pushing yourself too hard will only exacerbate your situation. You knew the pain wouldn’t fully disappear soon, but it would ease by time.

He didn't move again once you turned your back to him, indicating that you were right to let it go.

After Ben tormented him more severely than ever on your third day on the battlefield, Noir's patience ran out, and he kept saying Ben that he didn't deserve to be a leader and that he was simply a bully on cocaine. Despite your attempts to dissuade Earving from approaching Ben too closely and to push him back before things got physical, he was adamant about ending Ben's leadership.

“You don’t deserve to be the the leader of Payback. All you do is getting high and bullying all of us. All people here looking at us with hatred, not respect and the reasson behind this all is that we don’t have a respectful leader,” Earving said raising his voice.

Knowing that Ben was pretty nerveous espcially nowadays and fearing he was already ready to hurt anyone in the squad, you pushed Noir by his chest back trying to calm him down. He was right about everything, but it wasn’t the way to solve this mess Ben caused. Besides, no one would stand a chance against Soldier Boy. After all, he was indeed the strongest supe.

“Noir, please calm down,” you whispered him as if no one would hear you. “Don’t do this.”

Your body clenched with terror, knowing that he would be severely wounded by Ben, who was already looking for a small excuse to beat him up. Earving was digging his own grave for sure.

“What’s wrong with you?” Earving suddenly snapped, pushing your hands from him. “Why do you even support him?”

“Violence with get you nowhere,” you said sharply, implying he must stop or he’ll be the one to get hurt.

“And what the fuck will you do about this, huh?” Ben asked with an evil smirk on his face. “You just fucking disrespected me, you fucking weak fuckface. All you do is whining like a newborn baby yet you crave for respect and all shit.”

When you saw Ben make a move to face Earving, you stopped between them to prevent what was to come. Some soldiers were watching you all with curiosity, and some with fear.

“Ben,” you said with a serious tone. “Let’s not make a scene and let others talk behind you. How can they even respect you if you lay a hand on one of us? This won’t be good for your reputation; you know this.”

Instead of taking a step back and pressing his anger down, your effort to save Noir made him see red.

“Will you now fucking defend him against me?” Ben glared at your hands, which were tightly gripping his suit, and said, “Step fucking aside or you'll get hurt first.”

As you take a step back, you realize how you came so close to Ben without recognizing it, despite your repeated assurances to yourself to keep away from him. He had done many things to you lately, but it was the first time he threatened you with such severity.

Just as you are about to react, you hear Crimson approaching Ben.

Placing a touch on Earving's arm, you showed your understanding and concern for him when you noticed him fisting his fists and standing motionless. It was Ben's harsh attitude toward nothing that he got in return for all the respect he deserved, which was all he asked for. Although Earving had been performing rather well up until this point, everyone has their limitations.

“You know, you shouldn't let others treat Soldier Boy disrespectfully,” Crimson said as she gave you one of her venomous glances. “When Black Noir tries to seize control of the team and instigate a revolt, how can people still acknowledge Soldier Boy as the team's strongest supe and leader? How are you even going to support it, Y/N?”

She scowled and remained by Ben's side, uttering more venomous things to incite Ben's hatred of you. Simply because you were aware of Ben's vulnerability to manipulation over his authority, you took a deep breath and declared, “I'm not supporting any of this. Who the hell are you to read Noir's intentions that way?”

Ben raised his finger right up to your face, his eyes were darkened with disappointment. “So, that’s it. You fucking betrayed me for that cocksucker.”

Your eyes burned with fury as the corner of the Countess’ lips curled with satisfaction.

“Are you really talking about betrayal now?” You raised your voice as your hands were in fist now.

Earving felt your hazardous tension with Soldier Boy, and your fury subsided his own anger. You pushed his hands away from you, even though he touched your shoulder to convey his support for you in a gentle way.

You could see how effortlessly the Countess was able to influence Ben; your eyes were burning with pain. You had come to terms with the idea that he couldn't see his actual emotions through them, but it appeared he couldn't see yours either.

He'd pretended to be concerned about you, deceived you, threatened you, and now accused you of betraying him. But the truth was, he was the one who did them. You didn’t know if he was blind or just a coward who couldn’t even face himself.

“You know what?” Ben angrily remarked, “Since you wanted to go away from the team so much, you can fucking leave now. You are free to fucking go.”

With a heavy heart, you murmured, “Fine. Neither do I want to be a part of this.”

Next Chapter

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A/N: I had planned Losing You to be a one-shot story, but it seems it will take a little more chapters to make a final. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! You can also check masterlist for another multi-chapter Soldier Boy / Reader story called “Protect Me From What I Want” Thank you for reading this! <3

Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto @yvonneeeee @starryperson

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series. <3

#the boys #soldier boy x reader #jensen ackles #soldier boy #the boys series #the boys season 3 #the boys tv #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy the boys #the boys amazon #soldier boy fic #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x female reader #heavy angst #angst #hurtful

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h3ffleyswife · 4 months

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"i cant hold my alcohol" (r. heffley x reader)

desc: fem! reader who's ben's little sister. drunken mishaps, you sleep in rodricks bed, just read it

warnings: slightly ooc rodrick ngl, i wrote this when i was tired lolz sry

word count: 2480

You buckle your seat belt and throw your purse on the floor of your brothers car. "We're going over to Rodricks, his parents are out of town so he's throwing a party, sound good?" Ben, your brother, says while reversing out of your guys' driveway. You furrow your eyebrows, "Rodrick? The hot one in your band?" You questioned, picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingernails. Ben looked over at you and scoffed, "I mean, whatever floats your boat. But no way would I ever let you two date. You guys would make my life a living hell." You roll your eyes and sigh, "Whatever, leave me to my fantasies, Ben."

Your brother's face contorts into one of disgust and he pulls in front of a house that you can only assume is the Heffley's. "Please, spare me with the details of your Rodrick fantasies." Ben says, putting the car in park and taking his keys. You giggle to yourself and hop out of his shitty, beat up car. You can see lots of kids already here, most of them already wasted out of their minds. Ben walks in front of you towards the front door, and your heart flutters with nerves.

Stepping through the door, the first thing that hits your nose is alcohol, and it almost makes you nauseous. Ben's already gone off somewhere, so you walk around until you can find the drinks. Peeking your head into the kitchen, there's a couple borderline fucking on Rodricks kitchen counter. You scrunch your eyebrows and turn around, there didn't seem to be any drinks in there anyways.

It takes you about five minutes and squeezing your way through a bunch of intoxicated, smelly teens, but you finally find the drinks. Gwen Stefani is blasting in your ear while you pour yourself a coke mixed with a little bit of whatever shitty alcohol Rodrick managed to get his hands on. You take a sip, there's not too much alcohol in the drink, which is good. You don't plan on getting drunk tonight.

Rodrick is standing in a corner of his living room, chatting it up with his band members when Ben walks up to him. Rodrick greets him with a high five and a large grin on his face, "What's up dude? What took you so long?!" Chris asks Ben, also giving the boy a high five. "Sorry guys, my sister took hella long to get ready, but we made it!" Ben said and took a sip of his drink, he's lucky you already agreed to being designated driver, because there was enough alcohol in his cup to kill a victorian child. Rodricks ears perked up at the mention of you, "Your sister's here?" Rodrick questioned Ben, who looked at him with a raised brow. "Yeah.. she's somewhere around here, why? Is that okay? She's in our grade, it's not like I brought my 7 year old sister or anything." Ben rambles, Rodrick's now scanning the room for your familiar face.

It's been a running "joke" between the band that Rodrick has a thing for you, Ben's sister, for a while now. Any time you showed up with Ben to practice because of convenience, Rodricks playing would be off, and he'd be distracted the whole practice. There was just something about you, Rodrick thought to himself. "Hey man, stop daydreaming about Ben's sister!" Chris waves his hand in front of Rodricks face and laughs, making Rodrick blink a couple times before laughing nervously and looking at Ben. Ben rolls his eyes before making eye contact with Rodrick, "I wouldn't actually be upset if you tried to date my sister, but I swear on my mother, Rodrick, that I will put you six feet under if you screw her over." Ben places his hand on Rodricks shoulder and tightens his grip, making Rodrick gulp nervously before nodding quickly, "Of course dude, I wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt her!" He swats Ben's hand away, "I have business to attend to, gentlemen." Rodrick shouts, walking- maybe skipping- away to go find you. Ben sighs and takes another swig of his drink while Chris laughs to himself, turning to go try and talk to a girl.

You're leaning against a wall, starting to get mildly bored, when someone taps your shoulder. Turning around, you see Rodrick. Your face immediately gets hot and you give him a small smile, "Hey!" Rodrick says with a smile, giving you a quick once-over. You pretend not to see him looking you up and down, feeling an unfamiliar feeling in your stomach. "Hey Rodrick, how's it going?" You ask, your voice shaky and hands clammy enough to open a seafood restaurant. You cleared your throat awkwardly, normally, you were able to hold a conversation with him, why was it so different now? Rodrick gives you a nervous smile and stutters out a reply, "Well, throwing a party is way harder than it seems, y'know. How've you been? I don't really see you around school much." He smiles at you and you feel like you've just levitated off of the ground, "Haha, yeah I bet. I'm not doing too bad, just kind of doing my own thing, you know? I haven't been doing a lot recently, but I did just pick up a new guitar the other day, learning it's been kind of a pain in the ass though." You find yourself starting to ramble. Rodrick just looks at you and melts into your voice, nodding at certain parts. "You should teach me how to play once you've got it down. I could teach you how to play the drums, not to flex or anything, but I'd say I'm pretty good" Rodrick says and crosses his arms, smirking to himself. You laugh and shake your head, "If you sound anything like you did a couple months ago, I think I'll pass on those lessons, Rodrick" You giggle, watching his face fall.

"Hey! I've improved, thank you! And I wasn't even that bad..." Rodrick looks away with a pink face, and you find yourself smiling at the boy. "Sorry, sorry. I'll have to take you up on those drum lessons, then." Rodrick looks at you and laughs, "You want another drink?" You look at your empty cup and shrug, "Sure, why not."

Rodrick leads you into the dining room where he had drinks laid out on the table, "Let me make you something, are you driving later?" He asks you, and you pause, "I could find a ride home". He raises his eyebrow, "You could always just crash over here if that's okay with you?" Your stomach twists in excitement and you nod, "That's fine by me, why are you trying to get me drunk, Heffley? Don't try anything funny" You say and take the drink he's made you out of his hands, throwing him a smirk afterwards. Rodrick's eyes go wide and he stutters and trips over his own words, "W-wait!! I'm not trying- that's not-" You cut him off by laughing loudly, shaking your head. "I'm just giving you a hard time, if I didn't want to drink, I wouldn't have agreed to you making me drink." Rodrick lets out a loud sigh and playfully glares at you, "Gave me a heart attack" He grumbles and you giggle again, taking another sip of your drink. It was pretty strong, and you realized you should tell your brother to figure out a ride home because you were no longer going to drive him home. You take another sip, "Hey, do you know where my brother is by any chance? I need to tell him i'm not gonna drive him home, maybe Chris can?" Your words start to slur together and Rodrick nods, "I'll go find him and tell him, stay right here, 'kay?" You nod and pour yourself another drink.

Rodrick shuffles through his now, very full, house and looks for Ben. He finally catches sight of the boy, but he's on his way out of the house. "Ben! Hold on-" Rodrick catches him walking out the door, Ben looks back and tilts his head to the side, "What's up dude?"

"Hey, do you have a ride home tonight?" "I was about to leave and drive mysel- oh shit I forgot about my sister, have you seen her?" Rodrick swallows nervously, "Yeah, we've been hanging out all night. Is she cool to stay here tonight? No funny business, I promise! She's just starting to get kind of drunk, and I need to stay home to like... supervise this party, you know?" Ben sighed and nodded, "Yeah, that's cool. Let me know if I need to come get her at any point. Don't do anything stupid, Rodrick. See you at practice tomorrow." Ben says, shutting the door after he does. Rodrick hopes he's not overly upset with him.

Making his way back to the dining room, Rodrick sees you beeline to the bathroom in front of him suddenly. He looks around confused for a moment before quickly following you to the bathroom, making sure you're okay. You slam the door behind you and Rodrick can hear the sound of you throwing up on the other side of the door. He winces and knocks on the door gently, "Hey, it's Rodrick, can I come in?"

There's a pause of silence. Rodrick can hear you cough, and then throw up again. After a minute or so passes, your voice can be heard weakly behind the door, "...come in". Rodrick opens the door, shoves himself in the bathroom and then quickly shuts it behind him again. You look up at him with tears in your eyes from throwing up, and the sudden motion of looking up makes you nauseous again, immediately throwing your head back towards the toilet bowl. Rodrick quickly kneels down next to you and holds your hair behind your head, and rubs your back.

After you're done throwing up, you look back at Rodrick, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw up like that. I can't hold my alcohol very well, I guess" You say, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting anything but to be here right now. Rodrick shushed you and tucked your hair behind your ear, "Here, I have a shirt you can change into, do you want pajama pants too? I'll get you water and you can lay down in my bed." He offers, holding you and slowly standing you up. You shake your head, "You don't have to do tha-" "I want to do that, do you need me to walk you upstairs? Or do you got it while I grab you some water?" He asks gently while walking you out the door. Your face turns pink and you sigh, knowing you couldn't avoid it now. "I got it, which room is yours?" "All the way down the hall and to the left, you'll know which one when you open it." He says, smiling and walking away to grab you a glass of water once he sees that you're walking up the stairs. Once you're up the stairs, you go to the room Rodrick told you to. Surprisingly, his room isn't terrible. Could it use some tidying up? Yeah, but for a teenage boy, it was fairly well kept. You sit down on his bed and wait for him, slipping your shoes off.

Rodrick opens the door, and cracks a small smile once he sees you sitting in his bed. You look up and give him a small smile back, grabbing the glass of water he offers you. He walks over and opens his wardrobe, grabbing you a black graphic tee and some pajama bottoms. When he hands you the clothes, you notice that he gave you one of his Loded Diper tee's, and you smile to yourself while your heart flutters. "I think I have these same pajama pants" You state, the pants looking very familiar. Rodrick laughs, "We should totally match, wouldn't that be cute?" He says, with a joking tone, but he meant it.

You looked up and giggled, "Turn around for a minute while I change" Rodrick's face goes red, and he nods before turning around. You take your shirt off and put on the Loded Diper shirt. It smells like cheap cologne and... Rodrick. You can't describe how he smells, but it makes your heart jump in your chest. You slide your pants off and put on the pajamas, looking up at Rodrick, who's still staring into the wall, focusing on anything but the fact that there's a hot girl changing in his room. "You can turn back around, Rodrick"

He turns around and his stomach flutters at the sight of you in his clothes. "Drink some water and lay down, you can go to bed if you want to. I'll sleep on the floor tonight." Rodrick says, taking a pillow off his bed and tossing it lightly on the floor. "I can sleep on the floor, Rodrick, I don't mind" "No, I'm not making a pretty girl sleep on the floor, do you think I'm crazy?" He says, almost offended at the thought of letting you sleep on his floor. You blush, and look away awkwardly with a quiet laugh. He smiles at you, and walks towards his door. "I'm gonna go tell people to go home, I'll be back up in a minute" You nod and he leaves the room.

Laying back in his bed, the situation you're in starts to sink in.

You're in Rodrick Heffley's bed. And you're wearing his clothes. What the fuck? Your heart pounds and you turn onto your side, closing your eyes and cuddling into his pillow. It wont hurt to close your eyes for a minute until Rodrick gets back.

Rodrick goes around downstairs, telling people that they should start to head home because it's getting late. People leave, and Rodrick has to kick a couple people awake off of his living room floor. He looks around at the mess that he'd have to deal with tomorrow and sighs. He'd probably just get Greg to help him with it.

Rodrick walks up the stairs and gently opens his bedroom door. He walks in, shutting the door behind him and then looks over to you, and his heart soars. He swears he can feel his heart pouring out of his chest, how was it possible for a girl to look so beautiful? He walks over to your sleeping figure and tucks your hair behind your ear, "You're so pretty.." He says quietly, and kisses the side of your head.

Rodrick makes himself a makeshift bed on his floor, staring at the small portion of your sleeping figure that he can see. "Goodnight" He says to you with a smile, turning over, thinking about you.

What an eventful night.

hey!!! first fic in a while, let me know if you'd want a part two, thx!!

#rodrick #rodrick heffley #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley x reader #doawk rodrick #doawk #diary of a wimpy kid #x reader #rodrick fanfic #rodrick rules #diary of a wimpy kid x reader #h3ffleyswife

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creepy-friday · 1 year

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Ok ok hear me out 👀

What if, instead of fem! Proxy, we got a fem! Human maid 👀👀👀

Like the Slenderman chose her to take care of the mansions needs such as: cleanliness, general functioning (like electrical management, house repair, etc...), food management, etc...

But she isn't a demon nor proxy, but a human dragged into this life (The Operator is a cruel silly guy)

The Proxies have to watch over her so other residents don't mess with her, and also so she doesn't run away.

THE POWER DYNAMIC WOULD BE THROUGH THE ROOF 😭

YOU'RE BACK<3 this prompt is interesting ngl👀👀 I included more characters for the spice

Creepypasta x Maid!Reader

Characters Included: Proxy focused

Warnings: suggestive/NSFW themes,non-con/dub-con mentions,violence,misogyny,drugs and mental illness references

The difference between the power dynamics between you and the other residents are catastrophically huge

Once Slenderman took you in,he made sure that you understand what your role is from the start.It was a cruel time for him to make the decision to bring an innocent human in a manor full of deranged people,but in his mind he took the right decision

The first sick people who viewed you as a fuck toy would be Masky and Jeff

Since you're in the care of proxies,you are somwhat lucky,the others would mostly keep their hands to themselves

Maybe except Ben who has no restrictions by being a literal ghost,so I can totally see him messing with you for a while

The fact that you are a maid might give the others the opportunity to discover a new kink btw

Masky would slap your ass as you clean the windows "good job,get that body moving"

He's a whiny little bitch.He would scream at you if you missed a spot,if you were late to cook dinner by a minute or if he simply needs your assistance with whatever bullshit he makes up

He even called you to prepare him a bath and harassed you in the bathroom,even threating to drown you for his sick entertainment

The way you look up to him makes his dick hard,he doesn't care if the others find gross that he gets off on the power imbalance,he feels good about it

The only good thing he does is not letting the others fuck with you it doesn't apply to Hoodie

Sure,he might threaten to punish you by letting Jeff has his way with you,but we all know his pride won't let him to let you get fucked by another man yeah,once more,it doesn't apply to Hoodie

Right after a bloody mission he would bring you to his room and make you suck him off "How's it feel to have the dirty work done?Right where you belong"

Washing the blood off of their clothes it's a nightmare.Sometimes,the white masked man would try to scare you by saying all the messed up things he did to get them this red

Toby was happy he can look after a girl ngl.After seeing how scared and lost you are,he decided to make himself your safe space

But even then,he saw you as an opportunity to break himself into,it was a selfish tought,but he really craved to be your "knight in shining armor"

He actually started to stand his ground whenever Masky would start to harass him in front of you,and even if he would get beat up and would shame retreat in his shell for a few days,this boy doesn't give up

I can see him letting you escape in the forest if you pull the right strings,but the fear of what Slenderman would do to both yourself and him made Toby to get you back crying

INSTEAD,he goes on walks with you in the forest whenever you are free,just to give you that false sense of freedom

Even if it's just your job to clean,cook and do household chores,he views them as more intimate and might get romantic feelings towards you he has no self respect

Hoodie would play a lot of mind games with you,sometimes he would make you think he's your ally,sometimes he would give the impression that he's just another wolf from the hungry pack

He actually let you run free in the forest for a few minutes and waited for you to get your hopes up until he would show up from behind and get you back

"Gothca" he said,tackling you to the ground as one of his hands rested on your waist and the other one on the back of your head "let's get you back,shall we?awwwh,don't cry now,you know I wouldn't hurt you!Now I can't say the same about the others if they knew you got this far..so let's keep this between the two of us,what do ya' say?"

The son of a bitch would also blackmail you into having sex with him so that he can "protect you" or so that "he wouldn't snitch about your plans of running away"

Even if your plans would be top tier,he would know about them and would make sure to tear them down as slow as the light in your eyes fade away

If you're feisty he wouldn't feel the need to fight with you,but would rather keep him interested into bringing you down

But if you're on the docile side he would still take it as a challenge to himself,to see in how much time he can make you his loyal puppy

The manor is huge,four floors with large windows where a lot of dust piles up,especially on the inhibited last floor where The Operator works

I can see Masky making you work naked at a busy hour of the day, just for his fucked up entertainment,throwing some nasty comments while burning cigarette buts on your soft skin

EJ would watch from a distance,mercy and guilt piling up in his chest.Altough he doesn't see you as prey,he would certainly think of you as a safe resort to call when his heats/bloodlust appears

Jane would nod her head and advert her eyes,often even asking you if you're okay,just trying to make you feel..a little cared for

Natalie would argue a lot about you with Masky,but after all she's just a resident and Tim is still a proxy at the end of the day.She can't do anything about it.

All in all,your life in the mansion would be assured to be a long one,and depending on your behaviour you can make it a less traumatizing pressuring experience

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta #headcanons #y/n #tim wright #tim wright x reader #brian thomas #brian thomas x reader #brian x reader #masky x reader #hoodie x reader #toby x reader #marble hornets #jeff the killer #jane the killer #clockwork #ben drowned #creepypasta scenarios

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pagannatural · 3 months

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1.20

Dead Man’s Blood

-Dean offers to drive to ny so that Sam can see Sarah (the art dealer) again and Sam shuts that shit down right away. Dean only encourages Sam to have Dean-sanctioned relationships and sex. Dean’s Freudian nonsense is that he likes to pressure Sam into being involved with women, be certain that he’s the reason Sam is doing it, and then convince himself it’s good for Sam. I don’t think there’s anything malicious in this pattern, I think Dean is just operating at a high level of cognitive dissonance and avoids question his own motivations and feelings.

-Dean manhandles Sam away from John, de-escalating, then things escalate again and Sam and John grab at each other and it looks like they’re going to fight so Dean changes tactics. He forces them apart and puts himself physically in front of Sam, telling John to back off. First he tries to get Sam away, then he stands in front of him to protect him and waits until John walks away.

And now seems like a good time to talk about the fact that John was probably violent when they were kids. They don’t seem particularly scared of him, and they seem all to genuinely love each other and be able to find moments of ease and humor, so it was probably more a violence born of dysfunction than systematic abuse. There’s enough evidence for this that it’s safe to assume. For example, John says “I stopped being your father and I became your drill sergeant,” and he’s a vet, so he probably means that pretty literally and that in itself is a brutal way to treat children. In season 6, when Dean is explicitly trying not be become his father but falling more and more into re-enacting John’s behaviors, he slaps Ben across the face to try getting him out of shock. In s7 teenage Sam says that his dad has a temper and you wouldn’t want to see him after he’s been drinking. And then of course there’s this scene.

Neither Sam nor John see Dean’s diffusion of the situation as unusual. He’s done it before. Dean’s primary order is to look after Sammy. So I can’t really see him letting John get escalated with Sam, especially with how comfortable Sam is with Dean protecting him.

As codependent as Dean is with John, it seems like Sam is the subject on which he challenges him. He doesn’t have to break from his role as John’s surrogate co-parent and partner or as Sam’s (everything, but first and foremost) protector to do this, so it’s not really even him breaking rank. Dean follows John’s orders because he wants to keep Sam safe in the first place, so it makes perfect sense that this is normal for him. His motivations revolve around Sam.

-Sam, pacing, waiting for Dean to return from the morgue: “it shouldn’t be taking this long, I should go help.” Sam worrying about Dean part 497.

-John uses the vampire’s mate as a hostage because they mate for life. Immediately after this, a vampire uses Sam as a hostage to make Dean back off. It takes one to know one.

-When John kills the vampire Sam stumbles into Dean, who catches him. Dean holds onto Sam until the vampire dies, which takes a moment. Maybe even after that.

-John tells the boys they disobeyed a direct order and Sam says yes sir and Dean says “but we saved your ass.”

Sam can’t believe Dean said that. He looks afraid of what John will do.

Dean showed Sam that he can stand up to their dad too, and not just when it comes to de-escalating situations where Sam is involved- he stands up for himself.

This is important because it’s Dean breaking away from John and coming into his own. Sam has come to understand and even appreciate Dean’s obedience to John, but he still couldn’t choose to be with Dean rather than living a normal life when Dean was following John without question. Now Sam can believe in Dean’s ability to break the pattern Sam couldn’t live with. They’re a team.

#samdean #supernatural #spn meta #wincest #spn 1x20

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 10 months

Note

Could I get headcanons with Ben, Toby and Jeff with a Gn s/o who has a bunch of acne scars on their face and they are really insecure about them

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEN

He has a lot of acne too, he is a greasy little piss goblin after all

So he's kind of just come desensitized to seeing acne scars

But when he walks in on you staring at yourself in the mirror, touching the scars on your face and making displeased faces, he realizes that you obviously don't have the same outlook that he does

He comes up behind you and puts his chin on your shoulder, looking at himself in the mirror "you ok?"

You look down at your hands "Yeah...just looking at them"

He kisses your shoulder and begins to massage your shoulders "aint no use in it. Come on, come snuggle with me" he says, in a near whiny voice

You let out a small sigh and nod, turning and allowing BEN to push you onto the mattress, he crawls on top of you and lays on your chest "you worry way too much" he mumbles

You begin to rub his head, twirling your finger in his hair "do i?" You ask

He smiles and looks up at you "definetly" he begins to kiss your face softly, kissing every scar, kissing your eyelids, and finally kissing your lips

He pulls away with an over exaggerated smooch noise and begins tucking strands of hair behind your ear

"I love your stupid face, even if you don't love it, I guess I can love it enough for the both of us" he murmurs, looking at your lips

You smile and kiss his forehead "thank you, ben"

Toby

Toby was in the middle of going up to your bedroom, wanting to ask if you want fast food for dinner when he found you

Sitting at your desk, brows furrowed and hands touching all of the scars

"Hey" he says, alerting you of his presence

You turn to look at your boyfriend, who is now closing your door and standing in front of your mirror with you

"Hey" you say back, turning back to the mirror

It is silent for a moment, before Toby speaks up again "y-you know, you don't have to b-be ashamed of your face" he says coming up behind you and kissing your head

You sigh "i know, i just hate how they look..."

He pulls down his mask, and lets it rest under his chin, showing off his cheek gash, split eyebrow and multiple scars along his nose, from many times of it being broken

He kisses your cheek before looking back in the mirror with you "w-well, maybe we can both not like- not like our faces"

You turn to look at him once more "i like your face, though"

He smiles "i like yours too"

You kiss his lips, before gently rubbing a finger around the top of his cheek gash "thanks, i try to make it look nice"

It is now his turn to kiss you, smiling as he does so "you always look n-nice"

He spins your chair to be facing him, before taking your face in his hands and kissing you all over your face, refusing to stop until you forget all about your insecurities

Jeff

You were sitting in bed together, scrolling your respective phones

You decide you've had enough of technology, and turn off your phone, the black screen showing your face

Your eyes linger on your face for a second, your brows furrowing and a hand going to touch your face

Jeff notices this, and raises a brow, turning his own phone off and looking at you "what're you doing?"

You look at him, jumping a little at the sudden noise "ah, just looking"

"...at your face? We have mirrors for that" he snorts

You smile at his comment, looking away from him for a moment "does my face look weird to you? Like, the scars?"

He is silent for a moment, before laughing, which causes you to look at him again

"Do you even see who you're asking?" His laughter dies down, and he sits up "nah, i like your face"

He leans in and kisses you "and your scars"

You smile "do you promise?"

"Pinky promise." He says, lifting up his pinky and interlocking it with yours, sealing the promise with a kiss to your fingers

You laugh at his antics before pulling your finger away and laying back down

Which gives jeff the perfect opportunity to pounce, crawling on top of you and beginning to kiss you from your forehead, all the way down to your chest

Hope you're comfortable, because you won't be moving for a while.

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justafriend-ql · 1 year

Text

times never let me go said: happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈

(a mostly unserious post made entirely for my own entertainment)

this outfit

2. palm showing up at nueng's house and immediately inducing gay panic with the sluttiest soulmate-coded introduction possible until ourskyy 2

3. nuengdiao's gay little finger pointing (which happens at least 3 times in episode 1)

4. gaslight gatekeep girlboss

5. okay... 👀

6. local boy continues the age-old tradition of falling in love with a twink after seeing him play piano

7. (meeting ben) perhaps gay-on-gay violence is justified sometimes

8. nueng and palm flirt in the backseat. live chanon reaction:

9. update: gay-on-gay violence is definitely justified sometimes

10. phum taking a sec to call palm handsome before breaking a stool over his back (huh i wonder if that might mean anything)

11. okay... 👀 (pt. 2)

12. nuengdiao deciding to get wasted even though he's deathly allergic to alcohol because palm's talking to a girl (we love a messy!gay)

13. nueng standing up for himself when the homophobic principal and ben's dad insinuate that it was wrong for ben and him to kiss and telling them to punish whoever leaked the photo instead

14. "you're an adult now. you can eat whatever you want!!" slay thanks khun tanya :)

15. what if we were both boys... and we kissed on a rooftop at night under ambiguous circumstances... and it was episode 5...

16. our established couple besties wu and david <3

17. "your lips are burning and swollen" okay?? gay ass

18. gay beach wedding. enough said.

19. palm asking "is this how couples kiss?" after eating nueng's face like be fucking for real right now

20. male-male soulmates existing since the dawn of time and being an established part of mythological lore

21. palm: has gay sex one (1) time and immediately gets a tattoo of his lover's name

22. palm's face when nueng says he might confess his love to a woman one day lmaooooo

23. palm and nueng talking about how their mothers gave them the courage to be themselves and confess their love for each other

24. nueng: we need to show uncle kit that he can't mess with us. the plan: serve cunt

25. tanya immediately waking up from her coma when nueng says he wants her to see him with his boyfriend. true ally behavior!

26. WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

27. message received

28. wow so glad it isn't like that anymore! oh wait...

29. (about to die) time to educate some assholes!!

stopping here because of the (deeply homophobic) 30-image-per-post limit, but feel free to add more below!! happy pride from p'jojo, palmnueng, and co. 🏳️‍🌈

#never let me go #never let me go the series #nlmg #this is what i do with my free time haha please enjoy

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scary-lasagna · 6 months

Note

Hello!:D i was wondering if you could do Jeff and Ben with a child reader?:0 platonic obvi!^^ but there really mean and stuff but its bc of trauma?:D if not ignore this<3

oh dear, i'm sorry I didn't catch the mean part! I'll be writing a second one with your spare ask don't worry!! :]

Platonic!Jeff & Ben

Ben is like stupidly amazing with kids.

Sally loves him, she thinks he's the coolest in the manor and lets her say bad words sometimes, and even has a tea party once in a while.

Jeff isn't the greatest, and usually has a knack for making small children cry.

So when an orphaned child wanders up to the manor, and they're scheduled to babysit until Slender gets home, they agree to watch you until sunset.

Jeff has absolutely no clue what to do with you, and doesn't even think to offer you a snack or something to drink.

Ben is already returning from the kitchen with little packets of crackers and one of Sally's juice boxes.

Jeff will pick you up and plop you down at the table, sitting next to you and try to make an attempt at conversation.

But again, he's terrible with children, and tries asking you if you've seen the new GTA 6 trailer.

You look at him weird before continue munching on your crackers. You even go as far as scooting away from him a little bit.

Jeff is embarrassed by a 5 year old, but pretends he's not bothered by it. Ben sees right through his facade, and snickers to himself behind a well placed cough..

Ben knows how make you feel more comfortable, asking questions about you, because what else would a 5 year old have to talk about?

Their whole world consists of things that they do, not whatever sport was on TV last night or a new game that's being released, you were too young for that talk. The most interesting person they know is themself.

But no matter how many questions Ben tries to ask, you don't give them a glimpse of information about how you got here.

"So, where were you before you found us?"

"Literally, I don't even know, stop asking me. But today I found a frog and I put him in my pocket, and then I started to play the drums and Roblox at the same time but the frog didn't like it and-"

They agree to take you to the game room so you can mess around with whatever you can get your grubby hands on, whether it be the foosball table, the N64 scattered on the ground, the 30,000 dollar pool table-

THE THIEIRTY THOUSNAND DOALRA-

Jeff is faster than Ben, and swoops you up with a 'nOOoonononono', and you think it's the funniest thing that he's holding you upside down, because you laugh so hard you run out of breath.

And while Ben re-organizes the pool balls back into their neat little triangle, Jeff has fun just swinging you about, finding it amusing how easy children are entertained.

One way up, one way back down, swing you around in a circle like a football, dangle you by an ankle and toss you up to catch you. Like a little rhythm game.

He remembers back to his own childhood, the moments where his parents actually liked being parents, and his father tossing hm repeatedly on the couch, which of course is passed down to you.

"Again!"

"AGAAINN??? UGGHH!"

And you think it's hilarious how he's so annoyed, yet does it anyway. And secretly, he loves it.

And Ben loves watching him love it, like he gets to see a glimpse into Jeff's past that he never wants to talk about.

But eventually, as all children do, you grow tired, and instead of running back toward Jeff, you stay on the couch and curl up to watch whatever is flickering on the TV.

Ben will return with popcorn, and Jeff is sitting on the ground in front of you, showing you how to play this old vintage game called "The Mario Bros." that's only 8 pixels deep in graphics quality.

Ben holds a somewhat bittersweet smile, as he walks over and delivers the popcorn. After some thought he joins in as Player 2, and let's you get the sleep you so much needed.

#some cute fluff #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta imagines #creepypasta blog #jeff the killer #ben drowned #creepypasta platonic #platonic x reader #jeff x reader #ben x reader

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the--highlanders · 20 days

Note

I would be interested in hearing about how Jamie influenced the Doctor's moral code

I do want to preface this by saying that one's companions absolutely play a massive role in influencing the doctor's development and morality. barbara probably more than anyone. one as we first meet him in an unearthly child is not the same as one in the tenth planet, or two going forward. he's already come a long way by that point.

that being said, two in power of the daleks and the highlanders is. honestly a lot more morally grey than he is later in his run, or compared to later incarnations. he does very little to reassure ben and polly post-regeneration, picks up the examiner's badge with not a lot of outward concern for the man who's just died, runs around in the highlanders antagonising the people he doesn't like without ever actually specifying whose side he's on. he bashes perkins' head into a table until he admits he has a headache. there's a real sense that he's doing everything he does less because he wants to do the right thing, and more because it's entertaining to him. his sense of right and wrong is far more secondary than it will be in the future.

some of his development is driven by himself, and likely by his other companions - 'there are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things' comes before he's had much of a chance to get to know jamie, let alone have jamie's sense of morality rub off on him. but as the doctor (and the audience) get to know jamie, his moral code starts looking an awful lot like the one the doctor will come to adopt

the first thing about jamie is that while he meets the doctor in the aftermath of a war, while the first time we see him he's holding a knife to two's throat - he's not a soldier. he's a musician. he's spent nearly a year as (more or less) a non-combatant marching with an army. and that shows in the way he acts, because while physically he's a capable fighter, and happy to show that when he needs to, he is fundamentally not a killer. he'll destroy robots, but he won't kill humans or humanoid aliens. he duels with trask, but knocks him off the ship rather than finishing him off. he refuses to fight the gond with a weapon. even when it's to his detriment or puts other people in danger, like him being initially unable to shoot the zombie in the age of ambition.

maybe most tellingly, in the novelisation of the abominable snowmen, he's the one to step in and stop the monks from killing the abbot. he steps in front of the abbot, 'ignoring the weapon' pointed at him, and gets the monks to stand down by telling them 'we've had enough killing'. which is something it's very easy to imagine the doctor doing.

he also ends up being the one to push the doctor into investigating, like in enemy of the world, or putting his foot down and insisting they should do the right thing, like in evil of the daleks where rescues victoria even when two tells him not to. in fact, it's predictable enough that he will do this that two hinges the start of the human factor experiment on the fact that he can tell jamie not to do the right thing and help a complete stranger, and jamie will defy him and do it anyway. more than that, two's whole sub-plan to create 'good' daleks depends on his belief that jamie embodies the best of humanity. at the beginning of series 5, he's already recognised jamie's moral code as something that defines him and that can be depended on.

so jamie is someone who prefers to avoid (lethal) force if he can, and who will stick his neck out to help people when he doesn't have to or when even people he cares deeply for say he shouldn't. which isn't particularly true of two at the beginning of his run, but which starts to become true from s5 onwards, and which later incarnations will cleave to.

but the really telling thing is - we very rarely see jamie truly, properly hate someone. he butts heads with villains (vaughn in the invasion, for instance), and disapproves of people who don't live up to his standards or expectations (william wallace in on a pedestal being childish, irresponsible, and careless with other people; two in evil of the daleks for, again, being careless with other people and appearing to side with the daleks). but there's really only two times on-screen where he can't stand someone. one of these is evans in the web of fear, who really just wants to escape and save himself, rather than help everyone else. he's a coward, and jamie calls him out on it with disgust. but most of all, he hates bennik in enemy of the world. the interrogation scene is probably the angriest we ever see him. he hates bennik's callousness, actively threatens him, and says - interestingly - that he 'must have been a nasty little boy'. he's seething through that whole scene.

so the two characteristics that jamie seems to find completely unbearable are - cowardice, and cruelty. and those are the two major tenets of the 'oath' that goes along with the doctor's identity and mission. 'never be cruel, and never be cowardly'.

he's not solely responsible for the person the doctor becomes and the way they end up approaching the universe - those wheels were set in motion long before he arrived, and the doctor themselves provides a lot of the impetus. but it's interesting that jamie arrives just after the doctor's first regeneration, at a time where he seems to be searching for who he is and who he will be - and there's jamie to set a standard, and hold two to it.

#second doctor #replies #anonymous #i am SO sorry this has taken so long rip #it just took me a while to sit down and write all this out #but i'm posting it today in honour of the absolute win we've had today

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sehtoast · 7 days

Text

Like Real People Do (Depowered Homelander x OC)

spidersona oc, depowered homie, silly sweet domestics, bittersweet almost, i love him | Fic Directory

prompt 3 : grocery shopping

@cozycornerevents

The simplicity of human life has been one of the greater hurdles for Homelander. If not for Benjamin, he doubts he’d do more than stand like a fool, list in hand, hoping for some Vought assistant to show up and do the insurmountably mundane task for him. But… those days are gone.

It’s taken him a long time to get to this point. Going out in public after losing his powers seemed a feat greater than flying ever was. It was petrifying to imagine someone recognizing him as he was now, all scruffy and dark-haired, so pitifully human with his eyeglasses. He’s never quite sure if it’s a compliment or insult when Benjamin tells him no one will notice.

He settles for it being neither. This is him now– Homelander is simply who he used to be despite how he still clings to his old identity. He’s just John now.

Just John.

John, who walks hand in hand with his secretly-super boyfriend through the aisles of the supermarket, doing his best to spot the items they need.

New toothbrush. Mouthwash– not that weird stuff we got last time.

John, who was learning bit by bit, day by day, what it means to have that normal life he’d always dreamt of. Picket fence or not, this was it.

Pasta noodles. Chicken breasts. Lettuce. Hot sauce.

The mundane. The ordinary. A far shot from the way he’d been raised.

Mini Spidey-O’s Cereal. Paper Towels.

Something that little boy in the lab could’ve never imagined.

Coffee creamer. Milk.

Something the man he was a mere two years prior could’ve never fathomed.

Chocolate ice cream. Frozen blueberries.

Things the man he is today will never take for granted.

Flowers, because you deserve them, pumpkin ♥

“What?” Ben asks with a playful smile.

And someone who makes each little moment worth more than all the power in the world.

“Nothing,” Homelander mumbles, his cheeks burning a light pink. Still so odd how something as simple as goddamn grocery store flowers can make him turn red– make him feel appreciated. Not that simple twenty dollar bouquets were the extent of Benjamin’s gifting to him– certainly not, it was just…

So goddamn simple.

“D’you have your rewards card, sweetie?” The cashier asks him. An older woman by the name of May who he’d come to appreciate during these trips. Thursdays were their grocery day specifically so they could chat with her. She doted on them. Dubbed the boys ‘her favorites.’

John’s awkward stacking on the conveyor belt ceases and he fumbles for his wallet. She scans it despite the little nervous shakes in his hands that he won’t quite be able to quell until they’re back in the safety of their home. May gives him a sweet smile and starts scanning, passing each item down to Benjamin for bagging.

He has to ignore the tabloids and magazines adorning the checkout lane.

Homelander Vanished.

Abandoned by Our Hero.

Years since his ‘retirement,’ yet his old image stares him down wherever he goes. He keeps his focus on May and Ben to spare himself the burn of agony and shame. When his eyes try to wander back, he makes himself stare at a magazine with Ben's mask printed on the front.

Along Came a Spider.

How a Bug Brought Balance.

She strikes up her regular small talk. The weather, the bustle of the city– and damn that traffic, she always says. Ben giggles back and forth with her, and Homelander pitches in from time to time. She talks about her grandchildren for a while– Shaun and Emily, the absolute loves of her life, the stars in her sky– then grins widely as she scans the bouquet.

“Boys, forgive an old woman for being nosy, but when is the wedding?”

Both him and Benjamin smile wide and turn a shade or two red.

“Maybe someday,” they both tell her in unison.

“Good,” she says over the beep of the scanner. “I want a front row seat, y’all hear me?”

They grin and giggle the whole way home about it, hands joined over the center console of the car.

Marriage…

“Well, y’know… Vought did put my last name on your papers.” Ben hums. He never told Homelander the ugly reason why it was done, but John didn’t need to know that. His elation at the liberation of finally legally existing was all that mattered. “In a way, aren’t we kinda already sorta married?”

Homelander blinks a few times in rapid succession as the thought nests and roots in his mind. Are they?

“I swear, May gives us some weird realization every time we go.” The bug grins. “Here I thought she couldn’t beat that whole ‘it’s impossible to kiss yourself anywhere but on the lips in the mirror’ bit, but she outdid herself today, huh?”

John squeezes Ben’s hand tighter almost out of instinct. Despite the cool air blowing from the air vent, he couldn’t fight the sting of tears in his eyes.

Married…

“Hey, you okay?” Ben murmurs as they approach an all too convenient red light.

Is he? Hell, will he ever be?

He just nods. It’s not abnormal for him to have his silent little mood shifts. He’s sure Ben will understand.

Besides, that was too big of a question. In truth, he’s mystified by the idea. Once upon a time, he dreamt of putting a ring on Ben’s finger. He knew, though, that Vought would never let them be public. They could never in a million years dream of it without a trillion pounds of consequences being dropped on their heads. Public backlash, too, given the general views of his former fanbase. But that never stopped him from imagining another world. He’d have walked Ben out on stage in front of the masses, dropped to one knee, and popped the question then and there– and damn it he might cry in the moment, but would that be a bad thing? To hear his little spider agree to spend eternity with him, to slip that little band on his finger and feel his heart bloom in his chest– would it be wrong to feel it in his very soul?

Homelander sniffles himself from his stupor when he feels the soft thud of the car pulling into the driveway.

Home.

Where he’s safe and loved, always and forever, with that dork who insisted upon carrying every bag in all at once by himself. The same one who wasted no time at all in pressing a warm kiss to his lips and gazing at him with a cosmos worth of love in his eyes.

Homelander shuts his eyes and leans in to press his forehead against Ben’s. There’s groceries to put away and dinner to be made, but for now it doesn’t hurt to bask in the presence of the love of his life. If he lets his mind wander far enough, right now, right then, they’re swaying gently to their first dance as an officially married couple. They’ll have just tied the knot, and everyone that matters will be there. He feels Ben’s arms snake up around his neck and he wraps his own around the bug’s waist.

Times like these make him miss his powers more than anything. Once upon a time, they’d do exactly this above the clouds, spinning slowly in place. The world was theirs.

Perhaps, though, it still is.

Perhaps they’d never lost it at all.

link insertion busted, ao3 link here

#homelander #homelander fanfiction #homelander x oc #the boys #antony starr #the benlander agenda #cozy corner domaystic

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sighonaraa · 10 months

Text

@jamiesfootball since we're on the topic of making people sad via rescue animals........

When Dani was six years old, his mother banned him from animal shelters from now until the end of time. One too many times had he dug his heels in and refused to leave without bringing home every sad-eyed rescue, and the resulting tantrums had been of such intensity that even his sweet-tempered mother had found herself at the end of her rope with him. This, Dani understands. He's the same age now that she was then, and he thinks if a small child pouted up at him with a puppy in their arms, he might just do whatever they asked.

And then...well. Then Earl happened. And Dani hadn't so much as looked at an animal shelter since.

But in the locker room, Jamie's been showing everybody pictures of Big Ben--large and round, growing rounder each day, well-fed on a loving diet of kitchen scraps and whatever treats he manages to pitifully mewl from Jamie and his silly, generous heart--and he grins so wide as he does, bright enough to light a dark room. He seems happier than Dani's ever seen him, and it warms him down to his very bones; and this, too, he understands. He has sat on Jamie's couch and held his breath as Big Ben crawls across his lap with heavy paws. Waited as Big Ben tucks himself into a ball. Beamed with pride as Big Ben purrs beneath Dani's gentle, steady pets. There's something very healing in that touch of skin to fur, the knowledge that there is a living creature that trusts you implicitly, without question.

All of this to say, Dani is going to blame Jamie if this all goes poorly. It won't! But just in case.

The animal shelter nearest his house is grey brick and glass windows where the one in Guadelajara was red-toned stone and a patio arrayed with reclining chairs. It makes it that bit harder for Dani to take his first step out of his car and towards the front door, pulse thrumming in the hollow of his throat. His eyes shut. He hears the impact of the ball, the sudden swallowing silence of the crowd. His next exhale rattles in his ribcage.

He opens his eyes, and with them, the door.

***

Six-year-old Dani had been correct. When confronted with an animal shelter full of rescue animals, the only logical course of action is to puddle on the floor and weep over how few of them your hands can hold. Unfortunately, adults are illogical creatures, and so Dani is forced instead to walk the length of the cages over and again, barely listening to what the kind Ms. Alicia Furns is telling him about this litter of kittens, and that one-eared bunny, and those twin snakes who cannot under any circumstances be separated.

His gaze snags on one particular cage, as they walk back the way they've come. For a moment, he's convinced it's empty; but upon closer inspection, there's a dog in there, curled up in the far back corner. Box-headed and sleek grey from head to paws, enormous eyes peering up at Dani like the poor thing's already convinced he's going to walk away.

But Dani doesn't. He halts, almost screeches to it--in his periphery like that, this dog had almost looked like Earl. And he...he has to fight through the sudden thickness of his throat, force himself to kneel at the bars of the cage. "Excuse me," he says, soft, fingers tracing the cold metal. "Who's this?"

"That's Jude," says Ms. Alicia Furns. Her voice has gone funny, and a bit sad. "I'm afraid he's something of our resident anger management problem. He's been returned three times, now."

Dani thinks of Roy, and a faint grin twists his lips. "We've got a resident anger management problem at my own workplace," he says. "Has he bitten anyone?"

"Only one, his last owner," says Ms. Alicia Furns. "But, well." Dani doesn't have to turn to know that her expression is fierce. He can tell by the inhale, the precipitation of speech; sharp and sudden, like a forcibly withheld sob. "That last owner kept Jude chained in the yard. Wouldn't let him inside the house."

Jude appraises Dani warily. Dani wonders whether it was only the last owner that kept Jude chained. The dog has the eyes of a creature that's been left alone far too long.

"I'd like to let him into mine, I think," says Dani, and feels his chest loosen as though a knot has been untangled.

***

That night, after Dani's sent Sam and Jamie and Isaac off with promises to keep them apprised of Jude's movements, he lays Jude's new bed out on the floor in the living room and calls for the dog to come and lie down. But Jude doesn't move. He's standing by the door to the backyard, half-pressed to the glass. He's a large creature, head resting at Dani's thigh when standing, and yet in the night, in the looming darkness of Dani's home, he seems small and fragile and frightened.

"Do not worry, mi amigo," Dani says, gentle. "You are not going outside. I promise. See?" He makes a motion over his chest. "I cross my heart. That is a binding promise."

Jude makes a snuffly sound. His big paws scuffle against the tile.

"You are not going outside," Dani says again. "You are safe here." And he says it to Jude but he says it to Earl, as well, Earl who he keeps tucked away inside his heart, where the world cannot touch him. He gets on his knees and extends his palms. "You are safe here."

A moment passes. Another. Jude takes one step away from the back door, and then continues venturing closer, tentative and shy. Dani does not understand how it has taken him this long to be loved.

Jude's head--solid and sturdy and soft, so soft--nestles into the curve of Dani's palm. It is a light touch and yet stronger than Dani has ever known. There is enough love within that touch to make up for all the rest of it.

"There you are," Dani whispers, stroking his thumb along the length of Jude's muzzle. "Here you are."

(Jude sleeps in Dani's bed that night. When they wake, Dani holds him close and the sun shines on them both.)

#AUGH OH MAN!!!#giving dani a pitbull is. potentially. my magnum opus.#gav if you see this please know i took the name jude from the same story. you get it #ted lasso #dani rojas #sid speaks #long post #VERY long wow sorry y'all

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hintsofhoney · 7 months

Text

A Deal's a Deal

Pairing(s): Harvey Dent x F!Reader x Soldier Boy

Summary: Your boss, Harvey, agrees to share you with Soldier Boy in return for some intel on Homelander, but only if he can join in on the fun, too.

Square(s) Filled: boss/employee for @anyfandomkinkbingo

Tags: 18+, smutty smut smut, oral sex (male receiving), dom/sub dynamics, sir kink, threesome, dregradation, light slapping, light choking, p in v, unprotected rough sex (be smart), this is really raunchy lmfao

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I think I wrote this before Gotham Knights even aired and it's been sitting in my WIPs folder ever since. As always thank you to my loves @wayward-dreamer and @makeadealwithdean for beta-ing this raunchiness. GIF is mine. Hope you all enjoy the depravities of my brain!

You can also read me on Ao3!

MAIN MASTERLIST

When you took the job as Harvey Dent’s secretary, you didn’t know you’d be spending most of your time on your knees. Hard worker, quick learner, able to follow instruction: these were the qualities listed under the job’s ideal candidate section — you just didn’t know you’d be using them like this . Not that you were complaining. Not in the slightest.

You knock on Harvey’s office door — he had just called you in over the intercom which usually meant all work and no play. He’d call your desk phone directly if he had any… special requests.

“Come in,” you hear from the other side of the barrier, and you push it open, quickly closing it behind you as you come to stand in front of his desk. You adjust your pencil skirt, pulling it down slightly — a nervous tick you think you developed from being in his dominating presence.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Y/N, I need you to come meet someone with me. Record the meeting, take some notes,” he explains, looking up at you expectantly with those icy blues.

You nod. “Got it, Sir.”

“Good.” The absence of the word “girl” disappoints you a little, but you don’t let it show. “Get your coat. We’re leaving now.”

Harvey hasn’t told you where you’re going or who you’re meeting, but you assume it’s someone important when you reach the fancy apartment complex. Taking the elevator up to the 8th floor, you trail behind him as he finds door 12B and knocks lightly with the knuckle of his pointer finger.

“Ben!? Open up. It’s Dent.”

You don’t know who Ben is until the door opens slowly, and the face on the other side is plastered on every wall, bus, and sign in the city. Ben is the once celebrated superhero, Soldier Boy.

He pokes his head out into the hallway, looking both ways (and doing a very obvious double take on you) before stepping aside and letting you and Harvey in. You don’t know what your boss could possibly need with a supe, let alone a not very well liked one, but you can’t bring yourself to care as you stand in his presence. It’s true what they say — he’s even more beautiful in person.

“This is my secretary, Y/N,” Harvey says, throwing a quick nod in your direction to introduce you.

Soldier Boy holds out his hand. “Ben,” he says with a smirk.

“Pleasure,” you reply, enamored.

“Pleasure’s all mine, sweetheart.”

Your thighs clench together at that.

“She’s here to take some notes,” Harvey interrupts, stepping in between the two of you, forcing your hands apart. He turns his head to glare at you. “And that’s all she’s here for.”

You try not to cower underneath his stare. “Right. Sorry, Sir.”

You begin to pull out a pen and notepad from your purse, ignoring the laugh that Soldier Boy huffs through his nose.

“Something funny, Ben?” Harvey asks.

“Just seems like you got a well trained pet there, is all. Bet she feels even better than she looks.”

Harvey chuckles softly, inviting himself to some whiskey on the liquor cart nearby. “That she does.” He shoots a quick wink your way, and your cheeks heat up as you watch him pour himself a glass. “Now, are you going to tell me what you know about Homelander, or did I waste my time coming here?” he asks the supe, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Tell you what,” Soldier Boy says with a smirk, his eyes raking over your body, “You let me have her and I’ll tell you whatever it is you wanna know.”

Your boss looks over his shoulder at you, one eyebrow raised in a way that always makes your knees buckle.

“You want my assistant?” he asks, his eyes still on you.

“I want to fuck your assistant,” Soldier Boy corrects. “And then I’ll help you.”

Harvey chuckles, low and deep, turning his head to face the supe again. “Fine. But I don’t share if I can’t join in on the fun.”

“Can’t blame you there, Dent.” Soldier Boy makes his way over to the sofa behind you, and you stare at your boss, awaiting further instructions.

“Why are you still standing?” he asks, with a tone that makes you feel like the stupidest girl on the planet. You place your purse on the nearby coffee table before dropping to your knees like he’s trained you to do, head bowed and hands behind your back. “Sorry, Sir.” You hear Soldier Boy huff a laugh behind you; you know he’s finding your blind obedience both amusing and impressive – and that gives you a sense of pride that shows itself in your reddening cheeks.

“Now, Ben here is gonna use you however he sees fit,” Harvey explains, pulling down on your hair forcefully, making your eyes meet with his, “and I expect you to show him the same respect that you show me. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“That’s a good girl. Go ahead, crawl over there,” he instructs, nodding towards the couch where Soldier Boy was sitting, legs spread and cock hard underneath his sweats. You obey, Harvey walking slowly behind you, watching your ass as you crawl, the dark spot on your gray pencil skirt making his own dick twitch. “Stop,” he commands, and you freeze in your tracks, only a foot away from your destination. “Pull your skirt up.”

You sit up briefly to pull your skirt up over your hips, revealing to Soldier Boy that you have nothing on underneath it. Harvey already knows this of course — he’s the one who made the rule.

“Christ, Dent,” Soldier Boy exclaims as you finish your crawl. You stop right in front of the tent in his pants, your knees grateful for the carpeted floor. He leans over you and grabs your ass in both hands, pulling your cheeks apart before letting them go and watching them bounce back together. “She’s fucking perfect.”

Harvey chuckles softly. “When she wants to be.”

Soldier Boy sits back, his green eyes lust-filled and hungry as he takes his cock out from beneath his gray sweats. He’s big, about Harvey’s size, and you’re confident in your abilities thanks to the number of times you’ve sucked your boss off underneath his desk.

“Manners, Y/N,” Harvey reminds you. “Next time you won’t get a reminder.”

You open your mouth and stick out your tongue, and Soldier Boy huffs another half impressed, half amused laugh as he wraps his hand in your hair. “Fucking hell.”

He pulls you towards his dick, and you use your hands to catch yourself in an all fours position as your tongue meets with his tip. You let the supe use your mouth like it’s a fuck toy, your head bobbing up and down, gurgling noises filling the room as his cock hits the back of your throat, your spit soaking his shaft. It’s only when he pushes your head all the way down, your nose meeting with the tuft of hair above his dick, that you feel Harvey’s presence behind you. The familiar feeling of his cock running through your folds causes you to moan around Soldier Boy, which in turn makes his dick twitch in your mouth.

“Fuck,” he gasps, letting his head fall back.

Harvey chuckles softly, entering you slowly and causing you to moan once more. “If you think that feels good, wait ‘til she comes. Hold her there.”

Soldier Boy nods, readjusting his grip in your hair, and you’ve never been more thankful for Harvey training you out of your gag reflex. With Soldier Boy’s cock stuffed in your mouth, you’re able to focus entirely on your boss’s thrusts and the coil slowly tightening in your abdomen. You can feel your juices running down your inner thighs, and when Harvey reaches around to rub your clit in tandem with his thrusting, you’re on the edge in seconds.

He uses his free hand to land a firm smack on your ass, and your squeal is muffled by the cock in your mouth. “Cum,” he commands, and that’s all you need to push you over, moaning around Soldier Boy as your pussy clenches around Harvey.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Soldier Boy breathes, watching you as you convulse beneath him, keeping your head firmly in position. Harvey hums in agreement, fucking you through your high until your body relaxes again. Soldier Boy starts bobbing your head on his cock again, much slower this time, and you're grateful for the air filling your nostrils once more. “Whenever you’re done, Dent,” Soldier Boy pipes up. “I said I want to fuck her. And I didn’t mean her mouth.”

You hear Harvey huff through his nose, and you can’t help but feel like he’s almost annoyed over the thought of actually sharing your cunt, but in Soldier Boy’s defense, a deal is a deal. You whimper as he slips out of you, and Soldier Boy swiftly pulls you off of his cock.

“On the couch, on your back. Hang your head off the end there,” Harvey orders, nodding towards the end of the sofa with no armrest. You do as you’re told, lying down on the couch with your legs spread for Soldier Boy and your head hanging off the edge with your mouth open for your boss. “Gooood girl,” Harvey praises, and you feel your pussy clench around nothing at his words. With your eyes focused on your boss, you don’t notice Soldier Boy reaching for your blouse, ripping it open without a second thought and sending buttons flying everywhere. You whimper at the sheer force, but it’s quickly silenced by Harvey’s cock in your mouth. Soldier Boy pulls the cups of your bra down, your breasts spilling out of their confines causing him to groan.

“Jesus, where’d you find her, Dent? Fuckin’ perfect slut.”

The comment goes straight to your core, and you’re eager to be filled from both ends again.

“You grab her right here,” Harvey starts, his hand gently wrapping around your throat, “and you can feel how deep she’s taking me.”

“Fuck,” Soldier Boy breathes, replacing Harvey’s hand with his own, his grip slightly firmer. Harvey busies his own hands with your exposed breasts, and Soldier Boy drags his cock through your soaked folds before entering you in one quick thrust. You choke on Harvey’s dick at the abrupt action, causing him to twitch inside you. “Jesus, she does feel even better than she looks,” Soldier Boy remarks, his hips picking up the pace as he begins to pound into you. With every thrust, it sends Harvey’s cock to the back of your throat, and you can feel the pressure of Soldier Boy’s palm on your neck as he feels how deep you can take it.

You’re not sure how long you’re being used from both ends, but you’re enjoying every second of it. With the two men alternating their thrusts, you’re never empty, and you can’t think of the last time you’ve been fucked this dumb. You notice the heat rising in your core again, but you know you can only come with Harvey’s permission. He likes it when you let go on his command. Your pussy clenches around Soldier Boy’s cock in warning.

“Fuck, Dent, I think she’s about to —”

A firm slap gets delivered to your cheek, and you moan around the dick in your mouth.

“She comes when I tell her to,” Harvey says, his voice deep and commanding. “And only when I tell her to.”

“I don’t give a fuck how she comes, as long as it ain’t before me.”

“Oh, it won’t be. She knows better, don’t you, Y/N?”

You nod to the best of your ability before feeling Soldier Boy’s cock twitch inside you. He’s close. He speeds up his thrusts, and they turn from rhythmic to sloppy as he chases his high. It’s getting harder to hold back your own orgasm, but you know better than to test your boss.

“Oh, fuck,” Soldier Boy gasps, and then you feel him filling you up as a sharp smack comes down on your breast with the command that you’ve been waiting for.

“Cum. Now,” Harvey orders, and you're convulsing underneath him once again. Your release seems to trigger his, and before you can come down from your high, you're being filled from both ends. “Good girl,” Harvey praises. “Such a good plaything, aren’t you?” He pulls out of your mouth and looks down at your drool, cum, and tear-streaked face, his blue eyes meeting with yours. You nod in response to his question, breathing heavily as you fill your lungs with air again. You whimper as Soldier Boy pulls out next, leaving you feeling both unbearably empty and incredibly satisfied. You lay on the couch, unmoving, as you watch both men get presentable again, and you suddenly feel very exposed when you realize what you must look like compared to them.

“Bring her to every meeting and you just might get the answers you want,” Soldier Boy comments with a smirk, taking in your abused pussy, his cum dripping from your hole.

Harvey chuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind. Y/N!” he snaps, and you look over to him. He’s got a pen and legal pad in his hand — ones that he pulled out of your purse. “Kneel. On the floor.”

You roll off the couch and drop to your knees as Harvey hands you the stationary and takes a seat where you had just been laying.

“You’ll take your notes on your knees,” he explains, staring down at you before leaning forward and curling his forefinger underneath your chin, forcing you to look at him. “And if you do a good job, you might just get to come again.”

#harvey dent fanfic #soldier boy fanfic #soldier boy smut #the boys fanfiction #gotham knights fanfiction

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knowledgeabletrash · 1 year

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I have so many feelings about the first Hunt and it’s aftermath from 2x08 & 09! Apologies for the word-vomit below this.

I never thought it would happen, but dare I say, Travis has become one of my favorite characters this season.

As an older sibling, I was right there with Travis these last two episodes. His guilt and grief in Storyteller hit very close to home for me and I just.

Right after the crash, everyone looked to Travis to take care of Javi, even when he was still trying to process the fact that he had just watched his father fall out of a fucking plane. He dug up his father’s rotting corpse in order to get a ring to help Javi grieve and remember their dad. He spent months walking 7 miles in every direction every day looking for Javi. And after all that, Javi still died. Not only did Travis lose his father, but now he’s lost his brother for the SECOND TIME. To make it worse, Javi was safe, he wasn’t picked! But then Travis decided to protect Natalie, and from the looks of it, he was ready to take her place; he threw himself in front of the door behind her and stood with a knife at his throat (for the second time oh my god these girls). I missed it before, but Travis looked to Javi and whispered his name after the Hunt went after Nat, he asked Javi to protect Natalie when he couldn’t. And doesn’t that make it so much worse? Up until then, Javi had been running away from the violence. Travis asked him to step up and take care of Natalie, someone they both grew to love. Javi became just like his big brother, and he died for it.

Side note: Travis is a better man than me because if that was my sister trust and believe I’d have done more than send them on a guilt trip, even if I was starving!! Not to soft quote Queen Ramonda here but HAS HE NOT GIVEN EVERYTHING?! His dad died while helping the girls put on their oxygen masks during the crash, Javi died so that the rest of them wouldn’t starve. His whole family died saving the Yellowjackets! Ben didn’t eat Jackie OR Javi and he’s still alive and kicking and burning down cabins, our girls SICK AND TWISTED (said with love). Even in the Donner Party, they made sure they ate in separate groups so that families would not have to eat each other or watch as their loved ones were eaten.

Anyway, I’ve seen a lot of people harping on Travis for telling Van that they should all be ashamed of what they did, and god it makes me so upset. Y’all can excuse hunting your friends and cannibalism but not a grieving teenage boy lashing out after the murder of his little brother??!! Like, the first thing Travis did when he saw his brother’s body was try to untie his hands because he’s not an animal he’s just a kid, and then cradled him like a baby, only to have his body taken from him moments later to be dismembered and butchered.

As the youngest of the survivors, Javi was someone who, by normal conventions, should have been protected by the rest of the group. Of course Travis needs them to be ashamed of what they did, he blames himself for Javi’s death just as much as he does then, if not more!! Travis was supposed to protect him and he failed him!!

I understand that Travis is not a fan favorite by a long shot and Van is one of the most popular characters in the show, which might be skewing the perception of this scene a bit, but I think the people who are dunking on Travis here are missing the point a little? Yes, Van gave him some brutal honesty and was well within her rights to do so. However!! Travis also gets to be pissed at the Yellowjackets. The fact is: they absolutely SHOULD be ashamed, but they’re not. They fully COULD HAVE saved Javi, but they didn’t. Javi was not the one who drew the card, but he died anyway. Why was Javi’s life worth less than Lottie’s, who might have died on her own? Because they liked her more? Because he was more expendable? No matter how much you justify it, Javi did not NEED to die. None of it was fair. That’s the point, that’s the tragedy of it all!

Lottie Matthews really dropped the thesis of the show: “Is there a difference?”

It doesn’t matter if there was some supernatural entity out there who “chose” Javi to die, it would have happened anyway. It’s much easier to stand by and watch a boy drown than to do the killing yourself. They were starving, he was there. Even if the Wilderness chose, the Yellowjackets chose, too.

Circling back a bit, I also want to talk about the difference between the two instances of cannibalism on this show: how they’re similar and different.

When Shauna and Travis discover their loved ones bodies (both frozen might I add), they assume very similar positions, kneeling by their heads and touching their faces. Both of their death’s were caused by the collective inaction of the rest of the group. The person who takes the first bite was the person who loved them most, thus giving permission to the others to eat and spurring on the feeding frenzy.

Jackie was an accident, Javi was on purpose. When Shauna found Jackie, she screamed and was in denial, trying to shake her awake. Travis was almost completely silent, only whispering “I’m sorry” and cradling Javi’s head in his lap. They held onto Jackie’s frozen corpse for months so Shauna could grieve her, but they took Javi away from Travis after what couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. They ate Jackie whole like vultures, but they butchered Javi like an animal. The process of eating Jackie took a long time, almost three months from her death to consumption. Hell, she was slow roasted. With Javi though, “it all happened so fast” he was dead, cleaned, and eaten all within a few hours.

Shauna ate Jackie’s ear first. Jackie was driven into the cold by Shauna’s words. Travis ate Javi’s heart first. Javi went after Natalie because Travis loved her and because he loved Travis.

I’ve seen people say that the progression to the Hunt was too sudden and a result of bad writing but I’m going to have to disagree! Just from the parallels between Jackie and Javi’s deaths alone you can tell these writers know their shit. The Hunt has been teased since Doomcoming back in S1, the bloodthirsty side to the Yellowjackets has long been set up (Not!Tai eating Jackie’s face, Misty pushing Crystal, Shauna beating up Lottie). All season, we have seen various characters talking about eating another person multiple times (Misty and Crystal with the bone broth, Gen and Melissa about Crystal’s body, Mari and Misty both threatening Coach Ben), so they’ve had cannibalism on the brain for a while before they decided to Hunt. I’d go so far as to say the first signs of the Hunt were back in 1x01 with the girls icing out Allie for the greater good so they could win nationals. Them shunning Jackie solidified that the Yellowjackets were more than comfortable singling out and dehumanising one of their own, so long as the rest of the group deemed it necessary.

Cannibalism also is probably one of those things that gets easier the more you do it? Like they definitely would have Hunted and eaten Travis during Doomcoming if they had already taken the first step into cannibalism before then. Once they ate Jackie, all bets were off. The Wilderness “refusing” to let Lottie die was just a convenient excuse, they were hurdling headfirst into hunting their friends for sport looooong before then.

All this to say the Season 2 finale destroyed me and these are only Some of my thoughts about it. I’m not even TOUCHING the Natalie stuff yet.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #travis martinez #van palmer #yellowjackets season 2 #shauna shipman #jackie taylor #javi martinez

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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

A few months back I was chatting with @bengiyo when the subject of queer cinema came up (unsurprising considering…ya know, the whole being BL buddies thing). As a semi-recent queerness realizer, and a Certified Baby Gay(™), Ben took it upon himself to share a post between himself and @shortpplfedup that inspired @the-conversation-pod and which also included a Completely Hypothetical Queer Cinema Syllabus Build Up to BL for Baby Gays. According to @bengiyo this started as a thought experiment.

But, unfortunately or…fortunately? for him, I constantly crave queer media, and @waitmyturtles and her Old GMMTV Challenge have inspired me to try my hand at working my way through this syllabus. I cannot guarantee that I will finish all these films. I have no idea how long it would even take, but I wanted to at least try!

I have been saying I would do this for months now, but I am inundated with BL content, and getting more every day, so I have been pushing it to the side. BUT! This evening a local movie theater played The Birdcage (1996) and I went and bought tickets and decided now was as good a time as any to get this started, I am hoping to take a page out of Turtle’s book and write notes/thoughts on the movies I end up watching. Forgive me the long winded introduction, but I figured some context would be nice if this ends up being a thing I stick with. So without further ado…

The Birdcage (1996) [Comedy]

Syllabus Unit 6: Gems

Summary: A gay cabaret owner and his drag queen companion agree to put up a false straight front so that their son can introduce them to his fiancée's right-wing moralistic parents.

Characters: Armand: Gay cabaret owner, played by Robin Williams Arnold: Drag queen partner, played by Nathan Lane Val: Armand’s son, played by Dan Futterman Agador: Armand and Arnold's maid? friend? live in slutty pool boy? played by Hank Azaria Katharine: Val's biological mother, played by Christine Baranski

Overall Reflection

This is a film I had never seen before. Hell, I didn’t even know it existed until around the time Ben shared his syllabus, and someone reblogged a scene from it that ended up on my dashboard. This was an interesting film to experience in theaters, because while watching with an audience made the funny bits funnier, there were also moments that I absolutely did not read as funny that other people did, and I didn’t know how I felt about that.

This film is set primarily in South Beach, Florida and partly in a drag club, which meant that the only thing I could think about whenever the drag club was on screen was Palace, the gay bar, drag brunch, queer club spot in Miami. On the other funny casual note, as a Floridian I feel seen by the moment where Katharine calls and says she’s going to be late, and it zooms out to show she is stuck at the bridge. Real.

I feel like the majority of gay media I have consumed in my life very much centers around two very masculine characters. So it was really nice to watch a story that involved more femme characters, and that the femme characters were not left as the butt of the joke. Which I recognize might be ironic considering this is a comedy and therefore there are jokes abound. But, when you compare the femme character in something like Legally Blonde, to the femme characters here, they are allowed to be dramatic, and they are allowed to trip and fall, but the love that Armand has for Arnold is palpable, they squabble and they get annoyed at each other, and they hurt each other, but they are partners, and they love each other too, and it shows throughout the film.

This sounds fucked up, I guess, but I love the undercurrent of pain that is threaded throughout the story. The way that Val starts off seeming like he is very content with the way he grew up, the parents that he had. The way that Val feels so so loved by his Dads, and he hurts them anyway. Because he is scared, because he loves Barbara and he knows that she is good, and that her parents aren’t, and that he has to hide his family. But in making them hide who they are, he is hurting them and at first you can see and feel the ways that Armand is trying to rebel against it. You can tell that initially he is angry, disappointed, upset, incredulous:

“Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks.”

gifs by @hellboys

It is one of my favorite lines in the film. Because Val needs to be called out on exactly what he is asking his father to do for him. Because Armand's pain is visceral in this moment. But Armand loves his son and so eventually he relents.

Arnold’s presence and importance in Val’s life are constantly disregarded and he is allowed to be upset, and Armand is allowed to constantly put his son’s engagement and wedding in jeopardy to prioritize his partner and his partner’s feelings, because Arnold is a part of this family, and to hide him away is unfair.

I certainly had to grapple with some complicated emotions around the character of Val. I could understand where he was coming from, that he loves his fiancee and that their families have to meet, and that it is almost certainly physically safer for everyone if his parents are not visibly and obviously queer around the ultra conservative moralist senator. But the ways he ends up exhibiting casual disdain, anxiety, and judgment around the aspects of his parents’ home, his parents’ friends, his parents’ themselves makes me kinda hate him a little bit. It is hard for me not to see Val as entitled, not to consider him low-key dickish, because of how frequently he seems to get annoyed and disappointed that Armand and Arnold are not acting straight enough, that their house isn’t straight enough, that their family isn’t straight enough. But the film does not shy away from the mental toll it takes.

Were there aspects of the film itself I didn’t like? Honestly, not really. There are some jokes and terminology that do not fully stand the test of time, so if I watch it with a modern lens I think I would give it a 9.5. If I watch it in the context of the time it was written, I would probably give it a 9.8. But watching it in theaters certainly altered the way I engaged in certain scenes.

Mostly with the “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking dressed like this, I’m even more obvious” scene.

gif by @rosalie-starfall

Because people in the theater were laughing during this moment. Which is not to say I am judging them, I’m not mad at them for finding the moments leading up to that scene funny. I can understand how Arnold constantly having to catch himself and change his body language could come off as funny. But there is a weight to that scene for me that made the laughter feel incongruous. It is, in my opinion, an incredibly impactful scene. And it was hard for me to fully embrace that moment the way I know I would have if I was alone, after I realized that not everyone reads that scene as a serious one.

(Side Note: When I was looking for pictures of the movie poster, I found three different versions of it, and I chose the one above because it was the most intriguing to me in the way it presents Arnold. Because it is the only one of the posters that puts Arnold in a suit.)

The other moment, that I think I would have had a stronger response to if I was alone, was the moment near the end where Val takes off Arnold’s wig and introduces Arnold as his mother.

gif by @nicholasbritel

If I had watched this scene alone, I think there is a very high likelihood I would have gotten teary eyed during that moment. Because Val has spent so much time throughout this film trying to hide Arnold away. Wanting to send him off for the evening so they didn’t have to worry, trying to replace him with his biological mother, who he had never really met just for the sake of maintaining appearances.

Arnold LOVES Val. It is glaringly obvious from the first moment they share a screen that to Arnold, that is his kid. And I cannot imagine what it must have felt like for Arnold to literally have his every move critiqued and criticized for acceptable levels of gayness by his son and his partner. To feel unwanted by his son and his partner. To feel replaced by his son and his partner. He deserves to see and hear his son choose him, to know that Val considers Arnold his parent. Especially when Val’s biological mother is standing right there.

And as for the comedy aspect of this movie? I mean, it’s Robin WIlliams and Nathan Lane so it is obviously going to be a truly hilarious film all the way through.

gif by @argentinosaurus

Where does it fall in my By, For, About Queers Categorization?

For and About

Any piece of media that places queer characters at the center of it is something I would categorize as “About Queers”

As far as I can tell, the writers and director are not queer. I consider films to be made By Queers when a queer person has a role in controlling how the story unfolds, usually this means a writer or director for me, actors too if they have any influence over changing the story. (As an example, The Last of Us Episode 3 would be something that I would place in a By Queers category because Murray Bartlet who played Frank is gay and also was consulted to shape the way the characters were written and the story played out.) While Nathan Lane is gay, and I am sure a number of actors who play side characters are as well, I do not know how much influence they had over the film itself. Which is why I am currently excluding it from the By Queers categorization.

And as for the For Queers aspect? That moment where Arnold appears in a suit and tie before the dinner party, where he appears so much more obviously gay when he’s in “masculine clothes” that is written for the people who understand. The undercurrent of pain I mentioned, that exists to be recognized by the people who understand. Also, I watched this at the movie theater and I saw what kind of crowd it drew lmfao.

Favorite moment in the film?

Well, I could go sappy with it and pick one of the scenes I referenced above, but I would be lying. My absolute, hands down, no contest favorite moment in this film was seeing Agador in this cropped tank top:

gif by @thevelvetgoldmine

Now, I know that Ben told me that the Units could be done in any order, but I think I want to start from Unit 1 and work my way through from there, so stay tuned for a write-up about Pariah (2011) from Unit 1: Coming of Age Post Moonlight.

#the birdcage #robin williams #nathan lane #bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #wka long post #queer stories #queer #lgbtqia

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paperbackribs · 6 months

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The Gift (15 of 15)

previous: Chapter 14 The Boy Next Door Ao3 Link

Last chapter, the boys finally hashed out their feelings with Eddie revealing that he had been in love with Steve from the very beginning. This chapter, Robin just wants to watch their film in peace but a vision from the ethereal finally reveals the missing pieces about the mysterious origin of the connection.

Chapter 15 La Vie En Rose (Final Chapter)

“It’s black and white,” Steve explains, worried that Eddie won’t want to watch the film if it’s not in colour.

“I get it, like The Twilight Zone,” Eddie catches the M&M that Robin throws at him with his wide mouth, his teeth chomping shut in a way that is disturbingly attractive to Steve.

Robin cheers from Steve’s living room armchair and then throws a tan-coloured M&M in the air to herself, only for it to bounce off her cheek and fall into the crease between the cushions. She frowns while digging it out.

Steve pushes his hair back before pushing the VHS into the player. “No, it’s a romance. But a classic,” he quickly adds.

Eddie eyes him from the right side of the couch, “I like romance. Why else do you think Sam followed Frodo all the way to Mordor?”

“Uh, because the world was going to end?” Steve answers, confused. Did they watch the same movie?

Robin snorts, “Even I got the undertones, Steve. How’d you miss it. Following your ‘friend’ to the ends of the earth; that practically screams gay yearning.”

Steve throws himself onto the couch, bouncing against Eddie. Feeling happy to press the length of his arm and hips against Eddie in a way he hadn't dared to only weeks ago. “I just figured they were best friends.” He points at her, “I even thought that I would be your Sam.” Eddie shifts his arm to drape across Steve's shoulders, pulling him into his embrace.

Robin screws her nose up, “No, thank you. Though,” she says, showing her hivemind loyalty. “It is easier to read the subtext in the books rather than in a kid’s film with weird voices.” Steve claps his hands in appreciation and she points back at him in acknowledgement.

“Stevie,” Eddie interrupts, fond exasperation evident in his tone. “Yes, I love The Lord of the Rings, but I kept trying to get you to watch films about friends who could be lovers.”

He nods at Robin as she sings out, “Ben Hur and his former bestie.” She catches the M&M this time.

“Or,” Eddie adds clearly thinking of Conan and Rocky, “About hot, shirtless men to see what your type might be. I was trying to feel you out.”

Steve mentally compares his reaction between the two movie nights, wondering whether his interpretation of Frodo and Sam may have been different if he had watched it after he realised his feelings for Eddie.

It’s not like he’s any more queer now that he’s with Eddie than he was before, but perhaps his pushing back on the idea of romance at their own end of the world had skewed his willingness to see the clues in front of him. For sure what that’s happened, he reflects, considering that he hadn’t seen the dance he was doing around Eddie until the visions had started connecting them.

Steve and Eddie had had enough conversations since their confessions that he no longer felt so stupid about his cluelessness. Eddie had been wary of pushing for more and Steve hadn't realised how much more he had really wanted. But that was in the past, so Steve accepts how unaware he'd been about Frodo and his buddy slash potential lover with a relaxed shrug before deciding to turn this to his favour.

He shuffles into Eddie's side, nudging Eddie's long hair out of the way with his nose to murmur lowly into his ear; the delicate curve reddens under his hot breath, “I told you exactly how I wanted to ‘feel you out’ during Rocky Horror.”

Eddie licks his lips and Steve feels his gaze draw down heavily, as if weighted by gravity to focus and lock onto that slicked pout. Eddie notices his distraction and his eyes slowly heat; he sways a hairs-breath into Steve's space as if to pull him down into that gravity and draw him into a sweet, heavy kiss.

Steve considers, just for a moment, cancelling movie night. That is, until a candy covered chocolate beans him at the back of his head, snapping him out of the charged moment he was sharing with his tempting boyfriend.

“Hey!” He whips his head around to scowl at Robin who smiles blandly at him and says, “No Horny Olympics; you promised.”

“Where’s Vickie,” Steve asks in retaliation, sneakily reminding her of the embarrassing incident when he’d walked in on her and her girlfriend in the breakroom two days ago.

She scowls back at him, “She’s coming next week.”

Steve is considering the value in pointing out the slight blush covering Robin's cheeks when Eddie calmly interjects, “Remind me about the plot.”

Steve turns back to Eddie. “Okay, Audrey Hepburn is this beautiful girl who falls for, like, the worst shit rag all because she’s got this narrow vision of what she’s allowed to have, right?”

Eddie hums in agreement, eyes crinkled in amusement.

“But then she gets to experience the world and comes back as this sophisticated woman. And she was already lovely because, come on, it’s Audrey Hepburn, but she comes back and she’s breathtaking, right? And the shit rag gets all caught up in chasing her, even though he has a fiancé.”

“Like a cheating horndog,” Robin interrupts.

Steve points to her in agreement before returning to Eddie, excited to share about the film that he’s come to love. “But it’s all getting in the way of the family business, which is when Bogart gets involved.”

“I like Humphrey Bogart, he's handsome,” Eddie says mildly, a hint of fondness etched at the sides of his indulgent smile.

“He’s okay,” Steve agrees. “But the romance is in watching him fall hopelessly in love while he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. I won’t give away how it happens, but it’s satisfying to see him fall all over himself for her.”

Eddie tugs a lock of Steve’s hair before gently smoothing it behind his ear. “Sounds nice, let’s watch it, shall we?”

They press play, but in an eerie echo of weeks past Eddie abruptly points to the screen as Sabrina moves to close the French-style windows of her Paris apartment, “What is that song?”

Steve and Robin’s heads fly to look at each other, mouths open in shock.

“Why,” Robin asks, slowly.

Eddie watches them like he knows that something is wrong. “I’ve had this song at the back of my head for ages. And I haven’t been able to work it out. I mean, listen to it, it’s not exactly metal, right?” He pauses to listen further, “It is nice, though.”

“It’s Le Vie En Rose,” Steve shares. “I’ve been hearing it in the ethereal ever since I brought you back.”

Eddie frowns, “Is this about the connection?” Steve had explained his experiences with Eddie’s vision, which had resulted in some delightful experimentations. But he hadn’t bothered to talk about the music, other than to mention the humming, as he figured it was a matter between him and the ethereal, not anything to truly do with Eddie and their shared sight.

Steve flops back into his seat, staring blankly at the television. “It must be.” But he doesn’t know how or why. “It’s not dangerous,” he says with a conviction that comes with Knowing, “It just...”

He holds his hand up to them to give him a minute and allows his eyes to become further unfocused, sinking deeper into a muted world that opens up before him.

The music that no longer plays on the paused tape rises from the screen, transforming from what was once tinny and small to a collection of notes and melodies that feel physical as they weave around his body. The sun is warm on his back and the smell of herbs hang reassuringly in the air.

“You did well, Stevie.”

He looks down as Nana releases his hands from the box-step they are practising, her head only reaching his shoulders. She is wearing a peasant dress that hangs to her knees with wide prints of carnations and daisies stretched across it. Her feet are bare. Nana reaches up to pinch his cheek gently, but firmly.

“Ouch, Nana!” He says reflexively, rubbing at his face even though it doesn’t sting.

“It took you long enough. Look at you, big enough to fill a room but not yet smart enough to look into the ethereal and just ask.” Steve is uncannily reminded of his mother’s tone when she had grilled him about making The Sacrifice.

“I looked at the tapestries,” he protests.

“Hmph,” Nana moves over to the old wireless, turning the knob to lower the sound of Le Vie En Rose as it starts to play again.

“Where are we?” Steve asks.

“Where we were,” she responds simply.

“I told you, a long time ago, Stevie. That you could make your own steps, but I Saw you waffling on so badly that I made sure you would have me to guide you when the time came. You were very slow,” she continues to scold, getting further into her huff, Steve thinks.

She points a wooden spoon in his face that wasn’t in her hands a moment ago. “I do not huff,” she grumbles.

“Your Nonno used to say something similar, but that does not mean he was right. You two, so stubborn. No matter how many times I told him not to eat all the ricotta before the ravioli was made, he would still get sick.”

“I don’t get it,” he objects, “What am I so slow about?”

Nana eyes him with a loving exasperation unique to family, “To accept the path of love, you silly boy. How long did you spend staring at your eye wondering about how handsome you are or what kind of person you will be with your powers before you moved forward and embraced that nice boy.”

Steve’s mouth makes a small ‘oh’ as what Nana is saying seeps into his brain. “It wasn’t like it was years,” he tries, smiling winsomely at her.

“It could have been. If at all,” she scolds, unimpressed.

The realisation of what she is saying feels like a bucket of cold water has been thrown over him, sobering in the chilling understanding of what he has now avoided. Steve steps forward, gratefully holding onto her small hand, “Oh. In that case, thank you, Nana.”

The cloud over her expression clears and Nana smiles in satisfaction before squeezing his hand back, “There you are. That is the nice boy I raised. Good, you know what I did then.”

“Is the connection going to last?” He asks, determinedly not thinking about the way he and Eddie have been using it recently.

“That is up to the two of you. I tweaked your path myself, back at this point in time, but this is the extent of my meddling.” She lets go to place her spoon gently on the island full of cut and dried greenery. “You did well in taking action and now it is up to the two of you on how you will continue.”

He hasn't even had the full moment to worry before Nana is abruptly next to him as she raises a gentle hand to his cheek. She cradles his face like he is a newborn babe in her arms again, “Do not look so concerned, you have done well so far, have you not?” Her tone is as clear and efficient as ever and, as ever, he can hear the love beneath her brisk manner.

Steve nods, thinking at how he has been trying to be better at thinking and acting on what he wants in life. And Eddie’s getting better at speaking his mind. Eddie always has, he reflects, just not about Steve to Steve. Not until he thought he was allowed to.

“You’re right,” Steve leans into the warmth of her hand, cherishing this final comfort from her. “It could have taken years. Or maybe never.”

She hums in agreement. “I usually am. Now, tell your mother that I love her very much.”

“I will,” Steve promises, knowing that even his earth-bound, stoic mother will be moved by a message from her long departed mama. Even slyly looking forward to blowing her mind a little at their usual Sunday phone call.

“And I love you to the moon and back, my boy.” The skirt of her dress waves around her knees in a non-existant wind, the swaying movement echoed in an uncanny billowing of the day's light and the solarium's walls. The background behind her wavers as does her face and body, becoming fainter in every moment.

Nonetheless, he steadfastly reaches out to fold both her hands into his own clasp, “I know. I love you too, Nana.” Steve's heart is full of gratitude. To his Nana for her intervention. To the ethereal for allowing him to see her this one last time.

Her expression is as compassionate as her tone as she frankly says, “You never know what will happen, Stevie. Now go back and give your boy a kiss from me so he knows that he has my blessing.”

Steve folds her small, round body in his, taking a moment to take a deep breath and take in her powdery scent once more, to feel the weight of her full body in his arms. She rests her cheek on his chest and Steve feels a steady sense of family and purpose behind her touch.

He is loved and he is cared for; family, whether alive or not looks out for him so that he is not only safe but happy, cherished as a beloved son. He presses a kiss down at her faded, silver hair, imbuing the gesture with every sense of affection that he can. He can't see it, but he feels her answering smile.

His sense of touch and smell fades until his arms are empty and he is sitting down as he looks out onto his mundane living area, the film still paused, and the two most important people in his life staring trepidatiously back at him.

“It’s okay,” Steve smiles. “It was a gift.”

He leans over and presses a soft kiss to Eddie's cheek, “That’s from my Nana, she says you have her blessing.”

“Okay?” Eddie says uncertainly.

Steve looks over at Robin, his expression serene. “I was right, The Sacrifice was never supposed to create a mixing of the senses.” He grabs Eddie’s hand in his, squeezing. “Not our eyes or even sound.”

“It was Nana,” he continues, feeling a sense of contentment and a deep relief at the road not taken. “There was a good chance that we never would have talked about our feelings,” he adds to Eddie.

Steve reaches out to stroke a gentle thumb across Eddie's cheek, grateful that he chose a life where he can show the tender feelings he has for the beautiful, creative man across from him.

He smiles at Eddie's wavering expression, “You would have kept feeling confused and uncertain, unwilling to break the peace, and I would have continued to be a dumb asshole who thought my feelings were the natural platonic extension of a guy I’m clearly obsessed with.”

Eddie’s lips quirk up, “And Nana did what? Beaned you from the other side?”

Steve nods wryly, “Sort of. In a mystical type of way. She chose a moment in time to guide me and made sure it would activate at the moment that I took action to save you back in the Upside Down. I, uh,” he rubs at the back of his neck abashedly, “Maybe just didn’t ask the right questions when I looked at the patterns."

Embarrassed at having failed at such a basic lesson that his Nana had taught him years ago, Steve looks away from the both of them to concentrate on a speck on the wall as he explains himself, “I think I was too caught up in freaking out about being the guy who creeps on his friend that I didn’t think to just ask the ethereal.”

Robin’s head is in her hands and her shoulders are shaking. Steve doesn’t even bother to think she’s upset, not for one second. There she is, he thinks, rolling his eyes as she raises her head to reveal tears of laughter streaming down her face.

“You absolute idiot,” she crows. “You had the power to ask all along and you forgot? Because you were pining for Eddie so hard you couldn’t get your head out of your ass?” Her laughter peels brightly across the room.

Steve’s cheeks flush and he doesn’t want to see the judgement that must be on Eddie’s face too, but he risks peeking at him.

Eddie looks pensive as he gestures a finger between them, “We wouldn’t have…?”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Steve grimaces. “Nana said possibly years, but she hinted at never too.”

Eddie’s hand squeezes him tightly and he brings a hand up to draw Steve into a soft kiss, resting his forehead to Steve’s. “Thank Christ for Nana,” he breathes with conviction.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, voice thick with the faith of a love sincerely found and followed. “She’s pretty smart. I, apparently, am a knucklehead.”

Eddie's eyes are bright with tenderness, “She must have loved you very much.”

“She does. She did? I’m not sure where she is right now, but she was good at Knowing, at looking into the tapestry of destiny as well. I know she would have wanted me to have the best version of my life. And that must be with you.”

Eddie lights up and Steve silently thanks Nana again, for helping to add another brick that shores up the wall convincing Eddie that he is worthy, that he is deserving of sincerity and compassion.

Eddie had told him, ever since that conversation in the kitchen when Steve had been so convinced about the terrible impact of Eddie’s death, that he had been working on believing in it. In allowing himself to have faith when people tell them that they love him.

Eddie demonstrates his resolution to keep trying too when he chews on his lip for a moment before saying, “Let’s make sure it’s a life well lived then. You try thinking a little deeper, yes; but I’ll speak up more and make sure that I say what needs to be said.”

Steve nods and presses a kiss to Eddie's forehead, not too alarmed but nevertheless warmed by his determination.

They’ve both been working on being more open in their communication since they had uncovered a pattern of misunderstandings following their confessions. Tangled threads that had been small at first but becoming stronger knots; enough to distract them from the happier life open to them, if they only chose it.

Like the radiant path that Steve had Seen available to Eddie in the grassy clearing, before they had gone on to battle Vecna. An option he could have Seen for himself if he had not been blinded to it, Steve suddenly comprehends.

The first prediction he'd had of a bright life where Eddie loved deeply and was loved passionately in return - it had been Steve’s path too. But he'd been unable to look past the devastating impact the darker path would have on Dustin and hadn't thought to look further. He hadn't Seen beyond the darkness to realise that Eddie's path was also Steve's.

Steve, never suspecting that his own fate could be so throrougly intertwined into a tapestry of devotion with a boy that he had just started to have a deeper bond with and tentative feelings for. Yet, through his powerful intervention and by the grace of his Nana's gift, Eddie is alive here and now, his arms wrapped around the man he will love forever.

He lets his head fall onto Eddie's shoulder, the warmth of his cologne and the heat of his body grounding Steve in the present. Chuckling into Steve's embrace, Eddie continues to watch Bogie chase after Sabrina.

Robin fondly rolls her eyes at them, even as she sends a quick wink Steve's way. He feels her support to the very marrow of his bones: Robin never lies to him and Steve will rely on that gift in the future when he inevitably, as any human does, messes up. Just as he will return the favour to her.

Eddie pressses a kiss to Steve's hair and in the gesture he feels a promise. They will both work hard, for themselves and the other. And, in doing so, they will continue to weave their own destiny, creating a life full of joy and love, an unwavering light that will shine brilliantly and fiercely in their hearts.

Together.

If you liked anything, please consider leaving a comment over on Ao3 :-) It would make my day!

Thank you so much for reading along with my story, it means a lot to me. And if you shuffled a comment my way then you need to know how much you moved me and made me feel seen. Thank you, all. I love you.

💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

Taglist

Thank you to my own little community of people who wanted to be tagged and often shared my little fic with their own friends. MVPs, all of you.

@a-gae-af-racoon

@a-lovely-craziness

@aly-reads-alot

@bestwifehaver

@bookworm0690

@cinnamon-mushroomabomination

@ellietheasexylibrarian

@everyrandomthing

@finntheehumaneater

@geekymagicalpotato

@goodolefashionedloverboi

@hallucinatedjosten

@ilikeititspretty

@just-a-tiny-void

@ledleaf

@littlewildflowerkitten

@lostonceandneverfound

@manda-panda-monium

@matchingbatbites

@mightbeasleep

@nburkhardt

@newtstabber

@obliosworld

@oliver-sykes

@platonicbesties4life

@probablyscreamingintothevoid

@rajumat

@scoops-stevie-archive

@spectrum-spectre

@swimmingbirdrunningrock

@whackyrach

#witchsteve #steddie #platonic stobin #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #paperbackribs writing

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afro-hispwriter · 2 months

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The Diamond Queen: Homelander

Homelander/John x reader(platonic), Soldier Boy/Ben x reader(mentioned, romantic), Reader x other female characters

Summary- You have a history with Homelander

Warnings- baby John, mentions of drug use, mentions of soldier boy's "death", herogasam, strap on sex, drug use, snorting of bodies, gxgxg, slight temperature play, more on readers' past

A/n- this is a prequel to Parts 1 and 2

Taglist for this series- @the-house-of-auditore-frye

Earving got placed in a medically induced coma after you returned from Nicaragua. They were worried he wouldn't pull through but his powers helped keep him alive. But Ben had destroyed him far beyond repair. You sat by his bed every day, crying.

It wasn't until Vogelbaum called for you. It took a bit of convincing but soon you were standing in front of his institute. It wasn't the first time you were there, you would be called occasionally when an out-of-control supe needed to be controlled or calmed down in their words.

"I'm so glad you were able to come we know you're going through a lot with Noir and Soldier Boy. God Soldier Boy, hard to believe-." Vogelbaum started,

"Just show me the supe." You cut off Vogelbaum and he frowned. You looked so drained of life, but who wouldn't?

"Follow me." He led you through the facility and into the pediatric ward. It made you uneasy, controlling a child pained you.

"A child?"

"I know how much you hate it, I'm sorry." Another scientist was standing right in front of the door, making faces through the window. When he saw you approach he backed off and they let you look through the small window.

"Oh." A tiny baby, who could barely be a year old sat there all alone smiling and laughing as he held his blue blanket. "He's laughing, seems fine to me." You say not taking your eyes off of the baby.

"That's why we called you, we think we have something here, but we need him to display his powers."

"You want me to force a baby to use its power?"

"We'll pay you, double what you usually get."

Money is money you thought and opened the door. You walked in and the giggling baby looked up at you with a big gummy smile.

"What's his name?" You asked Vogelbaum.

"John."

"Hey, John." You say and sat down, crossing your legs. John crawled to you with his blanket in his hand, he grabbed your knees and used them to push himself onto your lap. "Oh hey." You grabbed him under his arms and held him tightly. As your hands touched his bare arms you felt a sudden electric shock between the two of you. Your eyes softened and you brushed his hair to the side. "Why do they have you locked up here? Hmm?"

He squealed and grabbed onto the hem of your shirt. His bright blue eyes stared right at you, instantly melting away any stress you had.

Since the day you met John, you visited him every day. You created a bond with the child.

Vogelbaum watched the interactions every day as well. It fascinated him, the connection between you and your former fiancé's child was extraordinary. You didn't seem to know John was Ben's, and he'd like to keep it that way.

"Happy Birthday John, I got you some cake." In a singing voice as you carried a gift and a whole cake into the now 8-year-old's room.

"Thank you Y/n." John came up to you and instantly hugged you tightly. It was a very tight hug, any normal human would have been crushed. Ever since John started to display his powers you were there more. You calmed him down most of the time. As he did burn straight through one of the workers just the previous week.

"Guess what flavor it is?" You say and set the cake down on the table.

"Vanilla!"

"You got it!" You handed him the bag with his present and he sat on his head and instantly started ripping it open.

"Cool! These are limited edition Payback figures!"

"I know, luckily I know a few people."

"You're the best." He hugged you again and out of the corner of his eyes a lit-up cake. It floated in front of him and he backed up.

"Make a wish." John's eyes flicked up to you and back down to the cake. He thought for a moment and you made sure not to let your mind wander. He blew out the candle and you clapped your hands.

"Y/n?"

"Hmm."

"Can you watch the first Soldier Boy movie with me?" You knew you should've said no but John was giving you puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, sure."

The two of you settled on his tiny bed eating cake. The entire movie John pointed stuff out, you tried to listen but every time Ben's face appeared you shut off. It wasn't until John shoved you hard that brought you back.

"Y/n? Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah sorry." Your voice broke a bit.

"I was asking if you ever met Soldier Boy. Since you know, Noir. Your brother worked with him."

"Oh yeah, i-i met him a few times. He was everything the movies and the media made him out to be."

"That's cool, do you think there will ever be another Soldier Boy?" You looked down at him and swallowed.

"I hope so, the world needs its superhero."

You knew deep down that was Vought's plan. John has shown exceptional, dangerous power. Something that interested them heavily.

"I wish I had your abilities, I hate mine. I hurt people." He says and his nose twitches. You set your plate down and wrapped an arm around him.

"I hate mine too, they aren't as fun as everyone thinks they are." John smiled at that.

"Just another thing we have in common."

It was the tenth anniversary of Ben's death(or disappearance). The world was celebrating their lost hero, mourning.

Herogasm was mourning differently. You had never seen so many people fucking in one place. You have gone to herogasm quite a bit with Ben, but it was never this packed.

Your nose burned as you snorted the white substance off the girl with fire abilities pretty pussy. While the girl with ice powers shoved her ice dick far up inside of you. You were high as a kite and loved it. The difference in temperature and the drug made your orgasm 10 times more intense than usual.

"Fuck." You moaned out and lifted your head but got your face instantly shoved into the girl in front of you. She rocked herself harshly, moaning loudly as her clit ground against your nose. You opened your mouth as she came harshly, jerking her hips.

"Thank you." She breathes out and the girl behind you pulled out making you whimper.

"Want to have some more fun?" She kisses you should and you smile hazily.

"Another day." You say out of breath and flip yourself around. Both women stand up but before leaving they leaned down and pressed a long kiss to your lips before pulling away and turning to each other, pushing their lips together and you watch steam pour out from between them.

"See you Y/n." You watched them leave to join whatever other group there was. You stood up and started searching for your clothes amongst the heap of them.

You walked out of the house fully clothed, denying any advances or invitations on your way out. You even stole a bottle of tequila.

Fireworks popped in the distance. All for Soldier Boy. They all acted like they fucking knew him. They knew Soldier Boy. You knew Ben.

You sat on the wet ground, drowning the bottle of alcohol. You hadn't touched a bottle in years. Both alcohol and drugs.

When you first received the V and discovered what your abilities were. The voices were so loud. You couldn't control it, you couldn't shut them out or just focus on one mind. You were at a party and on the verge of tears of how sensitive you were when someone offered you a little bag of powder. It was your medicine until you finally learned to control it. Ben helped you control it, and he didn't even understand it.

Ben was the one thing on your mind. It made you think of what your life could have been like if he were still alive. Would the world finally know who their beloved hero's love is? Would your relationship be accepted? Would you have had your wedding? Kids? Would he have retired?

So many questions and no answers. But they made you think of John. You've known the boy for almost 10 years. He felt like your son. You watched him grow. You practically raised him. He could be your son.

That's how you ended up in front of the institution. Eyes bloodshot. Could barely keep up.

You opened the doors and walked right past the front nurse. She called you for saying visiting hours weren't until the next day but she got cut off by her neck snapping. You forced the security doors open and alarms started blaring around the building.

Workers noticed you and immediately got out of your way.

"Where's Vogelbaum?" You slurred at one and they shakily looked around, stammering over their words.

"I'm right here." You whipped around and almost stumbled but caught yourself. "Seems like you're having a night, why don't we talk in my office." He points back behind him.

"Don't bullshit me." You cocked your head to the aide and you were in his mind. He was nervous, everyone was. But Vogelbaums's mind was screaming something about a collar. "What collar?"

"Y/n, don't. It's been a day for you, with Ben and his-."

"I'm taking John with me, he-he deserves a good life." You say and the scientist sighs.

"We can't let you do that." That made you laugh.

"Did you forget who I am? What I can do?" you simply closed your eyes and everyone in that hallway was under your control. "Bring me John." 3 people walked away like robots, while everyone else was frozen at attention. It wasn't long before John screamed your name down the hall.

"Y/n!" You turned around and immediately opened your arms. When he got closer he stopped. "Are you okay?" You probably looked terrible, horrifying to a child.

"John is okay, I'm here to take you home. We can be a family." At the sound of family, John immediately perked up.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He smiled brightly and ran into your arms.

"Can we leave now?" He whispered into your neck and you nodded.

"Right now." As you pulled apart Johns's eyes widened in shock.

"Watch out!" You turned around but it was too late. Someone in all black stood there holding a silver collar. Before you could react it got slammed on your neck and it locked. Your hands grabbed at it, trying to rip it off but to no avail. Suddenly John blasted the person with his heat vision, instantly killing them.

Your control over everyone fell. You tried to activate your diamond form but nothing worked.

"Fuck." You say and John kneels down next to you. "This shit won't let me use my powers. FUCK!"

"We have to go." John cries.

"I know, I know." You say and feel your body slowly start to weaken. "What is- what is this doing to me?" You asked yourself and your eyes started to flutter close.

"Gas them." Someone said and a can clatter next to you. You started coughing harshly and John dropped to his knees, coughing hard as well. You collapsed face first into the ground, slowly falling unconscious.

Your eyes fluttered open and the blinding light was unbearable.

"Fuck." You mumbled and slowly started to sit up.

"Y/n, lay back down." A deep voice made its way to your ears.

"Mmm." You flopped on the bed and blinked rapidly to get used to your surroundings. You looked around and your eyes settled on the scientist you wished you could keep calling your friend.

“You really fucked up.” You rolled your eyes.

“I'm leaving. With John, and you’re not going to stop me.” You say and in an attempt to control his, a shock triggered makes you scream. “What the fuck?” It made him chuckle.

“You know Vought is so terrified of you that they had me create a contingency plan just for you. At first, it was Soldier Boy himself but then the two of you started getting involved so we had to turn to something different. Hell, I didn’t even think it was going to work. But here we are.” That’s when you felt the metal on your neck, you reached up and grabbed it but a tiny shock made you let it go.

“What is this?”

“This is the device that won’t let you use your abilities, it weakens you, and if you try to use the. It seems powerful shocks, enough of them and we fry your brain. You’ll become a mindless zombie.” He stood from his chair and got close to your face. “Just like everyone you control.” You gave him a hard glare before looking away and swallowing.

“What do you want from me?”

“I need you to leave. Never come back. And don’t come looking for John. America. The world needs a hero again, and it's going to be John.”

“He’s just a kid.”

“He won't be in a few years. I'm going to propose a deal.” He says and you stay quiet. “You’re going to leave and never come back and in return. We take this collar off.” He grabbed it with his hands and he tugged it. “It will stay locked away and nobody will be able to replicate it. Vought will also make sure you live comfortably, funded for the rest of your life. Does that sound good?”

Your jaw tensed and you took in a deep breath.

“What about John, he’s going to ask.” You say and feel your eyes water.

“We’ll worry about that. Now, do we have a deal?” He holds out his hand with a raised eyebrow. You looked at it and back up at him. With a deep breath, you grabbed his hand.

A/n- not proud of this one tbh. Let me know what you guys think though. Going to start working on part 3 ASAP:)

#soldier boy x reader #ben x reader #the boys #homelander #x black reader

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