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mclqren · 2 months

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THE LECLERC CHRONICLES ★ F1 GRID

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!younger sister!reader ; f1 grid x fem!leclerc!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you're the younger sister of charles leclerc, and your relationship with the rest of the f1 grid has the internet going crazy [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader is 22 years old, and the youngest leclerc sibling. this one is a bit shorter than my other smaus, sorry for that! the fc i've used is lexi jayde, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

SERIES ✦ the leclerc chronicles masterlist ; next part

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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 776,319 others

yourusername it's tough work being the hottest leclerc 🤷‍♀️

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user1 UGH SHE'S SO PERFECT

user2 my fav leclerc sibling!!

charles_leclerc the caption 🤔🤔

yourusername am i lying though?? 😘

arthur_leclerc i think you are!

yourusername i think it's just you (& charles) who think that!

landonorris so what's the crown for then?

yourusername because im a queen. i need no other reason 😊👑

landonorris self proclaimed queen or-?

yourusername im queen of the grid, now bow down, bitch!

alex_albon you don't even drive-???

yourusername stop it rn or i'll tell charles to ram into both of you on the track 😊❤️❤️

georgerussell who are the flowers from 🤨🤨

yourusername my man, who else?

georgerussell okay be honest now y/n...who are they from.

yourusername and if i told you ur girlfriend then what 🤷‍♀️

carmenmmundt only woman i need 😘😘

georgerussell WOAHHH SLOW YOUR ROLL GUYS

carlossainz55 loving the sunglasses, y/n! 😎😎

yourusername awww you type like such a dad but ur forgiven bc ur my fav ferrari driver 💗

charles_leclerc helloo i'm your older brother??

yourusername hey, i'm still allowed to have my favorites!

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 801,211 others

yourusername bahrain weekend woohooo!! TEAM LECLERC (third slide is for motivation ❤️)

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user3 THE THIRD SLIDE IM WHEEZING

user4 SHE'S SO FUCKING FUNNY

charles_leclerc the last slide??? im telling maman ☹️

maxverstappen1 maybe you can beat me with that motivation!

yourusername he speaks the truth charlie soz 🤷‍♀️ AND PLS DONT TELL MAMAN IM SORRY

francisca.cgomes ur sooo 😍😍

yourusername leave pierre for me rn. im richer i swear

pierregasly huh?

yourusername see, not a thought behind those eyes! run away w me bbg 😘

francisca.cgomes okay you've convinced me, give me ten minutes x

yourusername HAAA GOT UR GIRL GASLY

landonorris the coat in bahrain weather??

oscarpiastri how is she surviving??

yourusername a girl does what a girl has to do 🤷‍♀️ maybe you should both take fashion tips from me anyway xx

charles_leclerc you aren't being rude are you y/n?!

yourusername noooo!! im offering friendly advice 😊

lance_stroll i wonder who bought you the first shirt...🤨

yourusername my rich nepo baby friend, thanks again boo 😘

lance_stroll wowww you're literally a nepo baby sister idk what ur on about

yourusername im actually famous for my incredible looks & witty humor, not my fugly brothers

charles_leclerc why are you so rude to us ☹️

yourusername it comes from a place of love 💗

logansargeant i wonder whose sunglasses you're wearing?!

yourusername idk i just found them!!

yourusername

( caption one: the third wheel lifestyle is NOTTT for the weak 😔 + tags | caption two: yeah i took this photo asw. can they stop being so fucking happy please it's making me depressed 😔 )

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 781,221 others

tagged francisca.cgomes

yourusername who needs a man when you have kika 😘 ( ps no clue who the other people in the last pic were, but whatevs )

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user5 the y/n lifestyle is something i needddd

user6 SO REAL FOR THIS

user7 outfitsss!! 😍

francisca.cgomes love you 😘

yourusername LOVE YOU MORE 💗💗

landonorris what on earth were you drinking

yourusername idk but it was fizzy and orangey and it was yum

alex_albon orangey isn't a word ❌

yourusername ACTUALLY ☝️ it is. sooo idk what ur on about mate

pierregasly are you even of age to be drinking

yourusername IM THE SAME AGE AS UR GF??? ur just jelly she prefers me to you

pierregasly ☹️☹️

logansargeant the winnie the pooh shirt 🔥

yourusername do americans even know winnie the pooh...

logansargeant clearly??

charles_leclerc how much did you have to drink

yourusername none of ur concern brother!

liked by yourusername, georgerussell63, and 1,002,665 others

tagged yourusername

landonorris y/n's signature pose: hands under the chin (she forced me to post this please come save me guys)

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user8 SHE'S SOOO ICONIC

user9 CAPTION LOOLLL LOVE Y/N

yourusername live laugh love me!!

alex_albon is it now...

yourusername SHUT UP ALBONNN IT IS

yourusername guys the caption is a liee i swear he just loves me 💗

landonorris urm who told you that mate

yourusername shut up or i'll send you back to the basement 😁 no one cares enough to save you

georgerussell63 carmen's looking over my shoulder and says y/n's a cutie

yourusername TELL CARMEN I LOVE HER AND TELL HER TO COME OVER TONIGHT 😘😘

pierregasly are you just after everyone's girlfriend then?

yourusername yup! single life = hoe life, @/alex_albon lily's next 😘

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and 800,219 others

yourusername hey alexa, play art deco by lana del rey ( 📸 @/arthur_leclerc )

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user10 SHE LISTENS TO LANA?

user11 SHE'S ONE OF US FR

user12 the dress wooowwww

charles_leclerc when did you take these 🤨

yourusername don't worry about it 💗

arthur_leclerc we had tons of fun without you ❤️❤️

yourusername ARTHUR DON'T BE MEAN (it's true)

charles_leclerc ☹️☹️☹️

lilymhe 😍😍

yourusername LOVE YOU LILS 💗

yourusername but also ops on leaving alex for me...just for research purposes

alex_albon Y/N STOP IT SHE'S MY GF

yourusername leave me alone im single and sad :(

lance_stroll did i not buy you that dress for christmas

yourusername yes you did!! thanks again lance it was a LOVELY investment 😘

yourusername

( caption one: guess where i am!! 🇦🇺 | caption two: yeah yeah the flag gave it away whatever look at my new best friends 🦒 )

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 833,331 others

yourusername aussie aussie aussie... (australians finish the chant)

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user13 she's so perfect

user14 wait is she charles' sister??

user15 yup!! she's the youngest of the leclerc siblings

oscarpiastri coming from an australian...no 🧡

yourusername lucky for me ur not the only australian i know...so!

danielricciardo OI OI OI 🇦🇺🇦🇺

yourusername @/oscarpiastri LOOLLLL POINT MADE

oscarpiastri DANIEL WE'RE MEANT TO BE AUSSIE BUDDIES WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME

danielricciardo THE CHANT WAS CALLING TO ME I CANT HELP IT

charles_leclerc FORZA FERRARI

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️❤️

yourusername idk red's not really my color...might have to step into the mclaren paddock next time to see if orange suits me better

charles_leclerc as my sister you can't fraternise with the enemy

yourusername yeah but y/n leclerc does whatever she pleases and right now she wants to wear an orange jacket 🤷‍♀️

landonorris *papaya, not orange

yourusername yeah yeah pls give me a vip paddock pass for japan thank you lan 😘🫶

georgerussell63 the first picture??

yourusername i dropped my ice cream and my WONDERFUL brother decided to capture the moment instead of comforting me ☹️

charles_leclerc it was so funny you just had to be there

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 872,339 others

tagged charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

yourusername FERRARI 1-2 I KNOW THAT'S RIGHTTT!! PROUD OF MY BROTHER(S) (and little lando norris congrats on 3rd 😘)

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user16 THE CAPTIONNN BROTHERS IM CRYING

user17 the way she said in a podcast once that carlos being in her life was like having ANOTHER older brother makes me cry its so sweet

user18 FERRARI IS MY RED FLAG YESSS 🚩🚩

charles_leclerc rare post of you being proud of me?

yourusername it's mainly for carlos...but i'm proud of you too i guess!

charles_leclerc but i'm your brother??

yourusername idk ur both my brothers in my eyes 💗💗

carlossainz55 te amo y/n! ❤️

logansargeant embracing your inner cowboy, i see! very american of you 🤠

yourusername RAHHH WHAT IS A KILOMETRE 🦅🦅🦅

lance_stroll nurse, she got out again

yourusername SHUT UP LANCELOT ur just jealous that i prefer america to canada!! ❤️

landonorris thanks for the caption y/n, but are you not looking for a way out of the ferrari paddock...🤨🤨

yourusername unfortunately mr norris i have to be a supportive big sister on days like today, where my dear brother has done an exceptional job at racing. i hope you understand, and i offer you my deepest condolences ❤️

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might make a p2 to this idk :)

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wednesdayfunnys · 5 months

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things the boys use as conversation starters that everyone who doesnt already love them finds really really fucking annoying

stan: complaining and oversharing. “oh my god i had the worst night ever i feel terrible i barely slept and my dad’s driving me crazy and i wanna put a gun in my mouth im not even close to kidding”

kyle: criticism/pointing out a flaw/pointing out something off about you today. anything from “dude, you look like shit, whats wrong?” to “oh my god what are you wearing??” to inserting himself into an ongoing conversation with a loud and passionate contradiction bc hes jUst bLunt

eric: bragging, usually about things not worth bragging about, like his “epic” trips to the bathroom or the 5 views he got on some video he posted online.

kenny: wildly explicit stories in graphic detail like hes doing standup. sometimes his sex dreams, sometimes a porno he’s seen, sometimes a straight up made up story. he’s looking for laughs.

butters: really really boring mundane stories. “yesterday i went to the grocery store with my mom and what do you know it they moved the ketchup across the store again! geez louise we must have hunted for that stuff for half an hour! that store sure does like to move their stock around.” he might as well be talking to himself

tweek: inocherent babbling about whatever he’s fucked up about today with not much context. also he will explain the entire plot of a movie or episode of a show he likes without taking a breath and he does not say hello first

craig: snide comments. stuff that can really only be answered with “dude fuck you”

clyde: gives you a girl’s name and demands you rate on a scale from one to ten

jimmy: dad jokes in the vein of “hey why are watermelons always having weddings? because they cantaloupe :D”

tolkien: self deprecating rich boy humble bragging

#eric cartman #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #south park #butters stotch #tweek tweak #craig tucker #tolkien black #clyde donovan #jimmy valmer #headcanon #i just think its fun

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slvt4elliew · 6 months

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ellie hcs!

cw: ellie x afab!reader, established relationship, 2 idiots in love, mentions of drinking, explicit language, 18+ near the end, switch! ellie, lots of mentions of sex at the bottom, mdni or i'll find u :3

a/n: hiii! this is my first time writing so...ntm cuz it kinda sucks. idk what i'm doing so suggestions would be great! thank u 4 reading! mwah mwah mwah 💋

loves calling you random stupid nicknames. "hey, honey bunches of oats, could you come here rq?" "im sorry, what the fuck did you just call me?"

loves when you paint her nails or do her makeup, even if she complains the whole time. "ugh, this feels so gross." "c'mon, it's just lipgloss el."

BAGGY CLOTHES 🔛🔝!! her wardrobe consists of big dad jeans, random thrifted graphic tees, a shit-load of flannels, wife pleasers, sweatpants, plaid pj pants, goofy ass socks, and her one pair of beat up converse.

practically smothers you in kisses, think gomez from the addams family. forehead kisses, neck kisses, kiss on the cheek, on your shoulders, literally everywhere.

only wears childrens boxers. shes got a collection of 'em. im talking teenage mutant ninja turtles, minecraft, fortnite, SPIDERMAN, batman, dinosaurs, glow is the dark stars, etc. sometimes she'll wear the simple plaid ones tho.

she thinks shes soo good at dancing when she drinks, like she acts like shes hot shit when she just looks goofy. "babe. babe. baby, look. look at me." and when you look over she starts doing what she thinks is moon walking... its hilarious actually.

so so so clumsy. girl can't walk in a straight line to save he life. shes constantly tripping over air, and her untied shoe laces. you even made a T chart to keep score. rn its ellie 0 : air 22

always has a hand on you. you're sitting next to her? shes either pulling you into her lap or has a hand resting on your thigh. walking together? has to be holding your hand. she's in the middle of talking with someone else? a cold hand sits on your lower back, her thumb drawing soft circles to remind you shes still paying attention to you.

her hands and feet are SO cold. while laying next to her watching a movie or something, she slips a hand up your shirt to just rest it on your stomach but you squeak and flinch away from her FREEZING hands. you swear shes cold blooded

speaking of which, she loves slipping her hands up into your bra to 'warm up her hands'. whenever she asks you, you obviously allow her even though you know she'll sneakily start pinching at your nipples or squeezing your tits.

literally the funniest person ever. she can always make you laugh with her randomness and how stupid she can act. it also doesn't help that she knows you like the back of her hand so she knows what makes you nearly cry from laughing so hard. she just gets so much joy from seeing you laugh, even if it's at her. she'll do anything to see you smile.

loves cuddles!!! she has to have weekly movie nights where you both cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.

treats you like a queen, girl is on her knees bowing down to you. does whatever you ask, you want water? done. your hungry? shes already ordered food. on your period and need stuff? shes already in the car, driving to the store. "whatcha need, pretty girl? it's okay, i can go get it."

loves you so so so much. you're her fav girl ever, she'll do absolutely anything for u.

NSFW!!

shes def a switch. bae can switch up so fast

black, 8.5 inch, slight curve, and has veins.

constantly praising you. "fuck. doin' so good for me, baby. yea, that feel good?" "yeah- just like that..."

she says the dirtiest shit ever "you gon' be a good little slut for me, hm? yea? c'mon use your words, baby." "you wan' me to fill ya up, wan' me to make u a mama?" "yeah? you like that shit? course you do, such a fucking slut, huh?"

CRAZY STAMINA. she can go for hours if you'd let her. doesn't even think about cumming herself until you've came at least 3 times. "c'mon baby, you can give me another, yeah? i know you can... you're being so good for me, one more?" "nghh can't...i-its too much." "you can baby, just one more, c'mon..."

lovesss doggy style. "all fours on the bed. now." her grip on your hips is bruising, leaving light purple marks in the morning which she'll press soft kisses to as an apology. usually has one hand on your hip so she can thrust harder into you and another in your hair, either pushing your face into the pillows or pulling your head back so she can see your fucked out face.

has the worst case of ghost-dick when shes not sober, just fucking desperately humping your ass.

if shes fucking you with her fingers, she always either sucks them clean herself or has you do it, shoving her long fingers into your mouth, sometimes purposefully making you gag on them.

she also def likes it when you suck her strap. she doesn't even care if she cant actually feel it, the harness slightly bumping against her clit and seeing how you look up at her is enough for her.

biggest tease!! rubbing slow and light circles over your clit, just enough to make you squirm and whine at her. "you wan' more? nu uh, you gotta say it."

basically makes you sit on her face, wrapping her arms around your thighs and pulling you down on her face, keeping you there. she doesn't even care, she wouldn't gladly die like that.

usually dom but can be very subby.

if you don't let her touch you shes whining and begging for you to let her. "fuck- please, baby. i'll make you feel so good, j-just..shit- please.."

used to be very shy about you eating her out but has grown more comfortable w it. "aghhnn just like that...fuck, doin' so good for me."

already starts panting and whimpering when you only barely touch her. the small kitten licks you make up her slit has her squirming and bucking her hips upward in search of more friction.

SO GOOD AT AFTERCARE!! if she's being mean, she'll immediately drop the act and cover your worn-out body in soft, loving kisses. then she'll go get a wet wash cloth and wipe you and herself off before carelessly throwing it somewhere in the room. she'll then snuggle up with you in the bed, cuddling your warm body from behind and peppering your neck and shoulders with kisses while you drift off.

#ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams smut #tlou2 #the last of us #Spotify

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angrysinglechevronwasteland · 4 months

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Talking!

It's what i do best. I'm most likely actively in three different conversations at this very moment.

I'm Cassie, 29F, Bi, currently taken by the most loving slut of a man in an open relationship, still trying to fix my oral-fixation while my loving jerk of a boyfriend is only making it worse

PLEASE talk to me i love to tell stories and meet people

I will spam-like and rb out the ass lmk if u dont want me filling your notifs every time i see it

I enjoy writing (both normal short stories and smut), surfing, sex, hiking, snowboarding, dogs, cats, sex, guns, biking, climbing, and reading, and sex

Uhhh yeah im the biggest slut i know, super high sex drive and crazy oral fixation, praise kink AND degradation kink, free-use n cnc n somno experimentations goin on up in here, and a constant need to please everyone i meet has been what drives my life since my dad made me play baseball

ily pls be nice, send me whatever u want, dont be weird about it. i already have a daddy, i don't share pics besides pfp because he doesnt want me to. Calling me Anything but my name is NOT encouraged until I know and am comforty w/ u

age and gender in bio pls

Sorry if I'm late w/ replies work is hell and hell is other people or smth like that idfk

🧨

#me #pinned #i put the bi in bicycle

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eddies-munsonmoved · 1 year

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dealer’s choice pt. 2 /no! i just think i’m two steps nearer to my grave

pairing: eddie munson/oc (cynthia moose) fandom: stranger things wc: 3.3k note: this took for-fuckin-ever, im so sorry. here they are! warnings: swearing, smoking, mentions of drugs and alcohol,

Hopper leaned down, taking his sunglasses off and asked, “where are you two coming from?"

Eddie got nervous, he wanted to say something but this wasn’t his situation and he didn’t want to get Moose in trouble for his weed run. But he was stunned even more by how she replied to the cop.

“Skull Rock.”

PREV: here

READ ON: ao3 ✰ wattpad ✰ ff.net ✰ quotev

February 1985, Cherry Lane

3:17 pm. The dungeons and dragons curse, she liked to call it. Whenever someone brought D&D up to her in any capacity, no matter if her sister was around or not, she would be roped into babysitting a bunch of smelly pre-teens. (This time it was an offhand comment made by Jeff in her sixth period science class)

“Cyn, please?” Bethany pleaded for the third time this hour. “Mike’s dad doesn’t want us over there for another session, and we have the only area big enough.”

“You mean we have less supervision here. Since mom went back to work.”

Bethany shrugged as her sister sighed and turned the tv off, “please?”

“It’s my only day off this week.” Cynthia muttered to herself. “Fine. But you have to clean whatever mess you guys make down there.”

Not even thirty minutes later, Cynthia’s car was filled by three boys, two girls and they had just finished descending their madness upon Bradley’s Big Buy to get snacks and pizza for the weekend. They were loud and caused a ruckus in the store and she was just glad to get out of there with her dignity.

After piling the kids into the car, she almost turned the wrong way and they all let her know about it, “We gotta get Will!”

As they pulled up to the Byers’ place, she put the car in park and looked at the kids in silence, no one was getting out. “Are you guys serious? Go get him.”

“You have to talk to Joyce.” Mike informed the older teen.

She grumbled as she got out of the car, and walked up to the front door. She put on a small smile as she knocked twice.

“Cynthia, hi.” Joyce greeted, opening the door.

“Hey, I came to get Will, if that’s alright.” She gestured to the car where the five kids could be seen arguing animatedly, “Beth is hosting for their session this weekend, something about Mr. Wheeler wanting them to get out of the house?”

Before Joyce could even respond, Will went zipping between them and jumped into the car, clearly an overfilled backpack swinging onto his back.

“That’s fine, is your mom home?”

“No,” Cynthia drew out. “But I don’t have to work until four tomorrow and if they run extra long, I’m sure Tim could watch them.”

“Okay, I’ll have Jonathan drop by after he gets off work to see if Will needs anything, is that alright?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. They probably wanna get outta here, I’ll see you around.”

Five hours later and they were starting to drive her crazy, they’ve gone through half their snacks and had three pizzas already. She heard another set of screams from the basement and she got up and padded to the kitchen landline and flipped open the phonebook.

Finding the number, she typed it in and held the phone to her ear, listening to the ring for a minute before a man’s voice came over the speaker, “Hello?”

“Hey, is this Eddie?”

“Yeah?” The other line sounded skeptical, “who’s this?”

“Cynthia.”

It was quiet for a moment. “Oh, Moose. What’s going on?”

“Okay,” she chuckled, “not to be a sob story but I’m fuckin stranded at my house with a gaggle of middle schoolers and I really need a smoke. If it’s not too inconvenient, could you run me a bag?”

“Sure, what did you want?”

“I got… ten bucks. So, what? A quarter?” She answered.

“Alright,” He answered, she heard keys shuffling on his end, “Cherry Lane, right?”

“Yeah, thanks, dude.”

“See you in a bit.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Cynthia replied, hanging up the phone before going back to her bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Cynthia was in the middle of her Blondie cassette when she saw a pair of headlights flash through her window, signaling that someone just pulled into the driveway. She rolled out of bed and grabbed one of her dad’s sweaters and went out to the living room.

Expecting Eddie to be outside, she was surprised when she opened the door to see Jonathan Byers. “Hey, I forgot you were dropping by.”

“I was late.” He muttered.

She widened the door for him to come in and she spotted Nancy coming up the walkway with a smile.

“Hi, Cynthia.”

“Hey, Nance,” Shutting the door behind the couple, she continued, “the kids are in the basement. The last door on the right in the hall will have the stairs.”

✰✰✰

Eddie pulled up to the Moose’s house, Jeff in his passenger seat. They both spotted an extra car parked in front of the house. “Weird,” he shrugged to his friend and bandmate before trying to get out of the van.

Jeff laughed in response before stopping and grabbing the older boy’s arm, “I think she’s coming out.”

Settling back down, he watched Cynthia walk between the parked cars and approach the window he just rolled down.

Leaning against the van, she laid her forearms over the opening, “hey guys, thanks for comin’ out.” She quickly held out a bill between her fingers.

“It’s no big deal. Jeff needed a ride home anyways.” Eddie shrugged once again, passing a baggy into her hand that was still resting in the van. “Actually, Moose, I heard some shit about you today.”

“Oh shit.” She laughed, keeping one hand on the van as she leaned away and put her weed away. Fumbling with something else in her pocket, she tried to change the subject, “do you want some candy?”

“Don’t try to change the subject.” Eddie smiled at her as she leaned back against the van, defeated.

“Fuck,” she groaned. “First, what did you hear?”

“Apparently Hopper chased you down for being… ‘drunk and disorderly’ out on Kerley last night.” He explained as Jeff laughed in the other seat, the younger boy knew the actual story, hearing it from Cynthia in their shared class.

The girl hung her head in shame.

“It’s all good, Moose. It’s happened to the best of us.” That made Jeff laugh even more.

“Sucks you believe that, Munson.” She finally responded, “I wasn’t drunk and disorderly, alright? I was walking home, extremely sober, from the Wheelers’ after Nancy’s mom snitched on me.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, it was past curfew so he had to pick me up. That and I’ve been out of the house since Sunday.”

“You’re not home a whole lot, are you?” Eddie asked, slightly concerned.

Cynthia deflected with a laugh and a shrug, “do you want some candy? Last offer.”

“I’ll have some.” Jeff spoke up, holding his hand out.

Reaching over Eddie and handing their friend a small candy bar, Cynthia turned her attention back to the metalhead, “What about you, Eddie? Want some candy?”

“Yeah, of course. Got any chocolate?”

“You’re shit outta luck, dude, I got a sucker or sweethearts.” She laughed, fiddling around in her pocket once again.

Defeated, Eddie set out his hand, “I’ll take the sucker.”

“A sucker for a sucker.” Cynthia laughed, handing him a red, heart-shaped sucker. “See you guys around.”

They watched as she walked back up to the house before turning the van back on. “What’d you get?” Eddie asked his friend when he heard him eating the candy he just received.

“Laffy Taffy.”

Nodding, he didn’t believe his friend. “Sure. Taffy? Jeff, you have braces.”

“I can indulge.” He lied, trying to stop the older boy from wrestling his hand open to find the wrapper.

Eddie was victorious, “a snickers? Jeffrey, I think Moose is playing favorites.”

June 1985 Forest Hills Trailer Park

2:43 pm. Eddie trudged out to his van in the late June heat. He was currently thankful for his KISS shirt that he cropped so the edge of it sat right above the waistline of his jean shorts. After he got in, keeping the door open, he took some time to dig through his cassettes. Ultimately deciding on Blizzard of Ozz before sticking a cigarette between his lips and starting his van to limp to the more experienced mechanics.

Speeding up the road, he spotted a familiar station wagon turn onto the road. Slowing down to let the car pass on the narrow street, he was met with Moose. Wallace had told him the day before that she was asking about him. Eddie’s friend seemed exasperated about the topic.

Setting the cigarette down, he cranked his window open as the driver of the opposite car slowed down by him, “What’s up, Moose?” He leaned out of his van, disregarding the heat.

She seemed unprepared as she shuffled to mirror the older boy, “I heard from Wally that you were back in town and I was out today so I wanted to drop by to see if you had any?”

The boy laughed and ran a hand through his messy bangs, “yeah, I have to go see my guy and get some. Could you give me a ride?”

“Um, I— yeah, that’s cool.”

“You sure?” he asked, she nodded, “meet me at Bell’s Auto on Pine? I have to bring this beast in.” He patted the door for good measure.

“Sure thing.”

✰✰✰

Eddie slowly pulled into Bell’s right in front of the garage doors and was surprised to see Moose already there, moving bags from the front seat and setting them into the back. When did she pass him up?

He got out and watched as she pushed a cooler onto the back seat, “How’d you get here so fast?”

She jumped in surprise, somehow not noticing Eddie behind her, with a laugh she replied, “you took an odd turn, I just went up Main.”

“My way’s faster.” He defended his ‘odd’ turn. He felt a bloom in his chest as she laughed at what he said. It was then he noticed that their outfits were nearly similar.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Munson.”

The drive was nearly silent, only the wind and the occasional puff of a cigarette occupied the car.

Cynthia pulled her hand in from the outside and glanced at the boy next to her, “there’s a box under your seat, it has some of my tunes in it. Find something you like.”

“You gonna have anything my speed?” He half-joked. He grew hopeful when he looked over at her, a smile on her face and AC/DC on her tee.

“Don’t start, Eddie.”

It took him a couple minutes of picking up a case and looking to see what it was before he found one that was clearly made at home and the cover just said Summer ‘82 (KISS, Crüe, Blondie, Whitney). Popping it into the radio, he waited, listening, until the beginning notes of Sure Know Something started.

“Where did you find that?”

He thought he did something wrong for a second before she turned up the music and started bobbing her head. “It was at the bottom of the box.”

“Good pick.” She complimented, taking a puff of the cigarette between her fingers.

Another 20 minutes down the road, Eddie instructed her to pull over to a small, shaded path, “wait here, I’ll walk the rest of the way and be back in a bit.”

“Okay,” she sighed, relenting. Cynthia wanted to just drive him up but he told her that his guy didn’t like people knowing where he lived. “See you in a bit.”

For the fifteen minutes that Eddie was gone, Cynthia mindlessly flipped through one of her sister’s old wrestling newsletters in between killing the odd mosquito that made its way into the warm car.

The current summer air reminded her of the days that her dad would take her and Beth to swim out at Jordan Lake in east Hawkins. She could feel the sadness building in her chest as she reminisced about days that were long gone; melting down onto the leather bench, she tried to breathe, pushing away tears that were about to spill out.

When she finally calmed herself down, she opened her eyes. They were blurry and when she looked up and out of the passenger window by her feet, she saw a blurry figure. She flinched hard, “son of a bitch.” She gasped as she wiped her eyes and saw Eddie, smiling with concern in his eyes.

Reaching forward, she pulled the lock up and let Eddie in, “scared the hell outta me, man.”

“I could tell.” He snickered, “takin’ a nap, Moose? Am I that boring?”

She laughed as she scooched back into the driver seat, “You’re thrilling, bud. I was resting my eyes.”

“Okay.” He relented, settling into the seat, he put a bag onto the floor by his feet as he watched the girl next to him lay her head on the steering wheel. “You alright?”

When she didn’t respond, Eddie hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, “hey.”

She peered over at him from behind the hair that curtained her in like a shield, “I’m alright.”

Eddie pulled his hand away as she leaned back against the seat as she gathered her hair into her hands.

Giving a small smile, Cynthia actually looked over at him. “I’m good. Long day.” Tying her long, dark hair into a bun before she started the car, “let’s get outta here, yeah?”

On the way back, Eddie had pointed her to a left turn and continued in the winding woods, he insisted continuing around the lake would be quicker to get back into town.

“So what happened to your van?”

Eddie picked at his rings, “I just got back from Saginaw, fucked up my tires pretty bad on the way back. Also just general wear and tear.”

“You do drive like a mad-man.” Cynthia laughed.

“I’d call it efficient.”

“Whatever you say, Munson,” she playfully rolled her eyes. “What were you doing in Michigan, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He pulled his eyes from the road and watched as they sped through the trees, he rubbed at his slightly tanned arms nervously before he eventually answered, “I went to visit my mom.”

“Oh,” Cynthia readjusted her grip on the wheel and took a glimpse at the boy in her passenger seat, “how’d that go?”

“Alright.” Eddie shrugged, shrinking into himself. “Yeah, I had to break the news to her that I got held back. Again.”

“Shit, man. I’m sorry.” It was silent in the van for what seemed like forever, only the radio playing between them. She didn’t really know how to respond. “At least now you get to finish it out with Jeff and Wallace.” Maybe not the right thing to say but it could be comforting.

He gave a small laugh, “Yeah, stupid might cancel out somehow.”

She peeked at the boy to her right and gave him a nudge on the shoulder. “Trust me, it does. How do you think we got Tim outta there?”

“Oh, yeah. Henderson.”

“Yeah,” Cynthia was caught off guard by his response. “What happened with you guys? He says you were his first friend when he moved to town.”

“I guess. Then he went full dark side on us.”

Cynthia felt bad laughing, knowing it would egg Eddie on in his incoming rant. “Dark side? Wow.”

“Yeah! We were cool at first when school started then he just dropped us.” He started waving his hands as he talked. “Then he started sports and hanging around guys like Bull and Tommy B. We tried to be cool but—“

“How long has that truck been behind us?” She interrupted, looking in the rearview mirror.

“I don’t know, but it does look like a—” He tried to turn around to look properly before Cynthia laid a hand on his arm, making him sit forward.

“Oh fuck, it’s fucking Hopper. Oh shit.”

“Are you sure?” He leaned over, looking in the mirror on his side of the car while shuffling his bag further under the seat.

“Yes, I’m sure. The fuck is he doing out here?”

“He’s a cop, Moose, isn’t it kinda his job to be out here?”

Running a hand through her hair, she kept her speed moderate. “I guess. Shouldn’t he be dealing with shitbirds over at the mall?” She didn’t have another moment to chill out before the blue and red light started flashing on the truck behind them. “I can handle this, just sit there and look pretty,” she tried to crack a quick joke.

Eddie nodded with a quick laugh as they pulled into the dirt and waited for the cops to walk up the car.

“What’s goin’ on, rat-stache?” Cynthia nodded at Callahan as he appeared at her passenger window.

“Really?” We pulled you over and you’re gonna under—” The younger cop was cut off.

“Cynthia Moose.” Hopper greeted, setting his hat on the top of her car. “And,” he leaned down, getting a better glimpse at the guest in her car, “Eddie Munson, didn’t know you were back in town.”

“Yeah, just last night.”

Hopper scanned the odd pair and waited for a smart remark from the Moose girl akin to the one Callahan received. When she didn’t speak up, he said, “Your mom called the station today. Wanna tell me why?”

“I don’t know, man.” Cynthia was genuinely taken aback. “She knows I have the car, I have work tonight.”

“I need something better than that, last time we got a call like this, we found you out by the Pinelli’s up in Merrick Park after six days.” He was losing his patience with the girl.

“Dude, I—“ She was getting frustrated, there was really no reason for this. “I don’t know. I brought Beth to her softball game at noon and that’s it.”

“That’s it?” Hopper leaned down, taking his sunglasses off and asked, “where are you two coming from?”

“Can we keep this between us? She’s not gonna be happy with me,” Cynthia rambled on, “I just got my shit together, my mom can’t know about this. Please, Hopper?”

Jim Hopper sighed and, with a stern nod, told Callahan to go back to the truck.

Eddie got nervous, he wanted to say something but this wasn’t really his situation and he didn’t want to get Moose in trouble for his weed run. But he was stunned even more by how she replied to the cop.

“Skull Rock.”

The cop was taken aback, repeating, “Skull Rock?” to the teens in the car incredulously.

“Yeah, man,” Cynthia replied, becoming more confident in her lie, “why do you think we got a cooler and blankets back there? We had a picnic and.. Hung out.”

“Okay.” Hopper nodded; not really believing the pair but knowing Cynthia’s past boyfriend, he took it into consideration as he peeked behind them into the back of the wagon. “This true, Munson?”

Eddie looked beyond Moose’s dark, pleading eyes and straight at the Chief, “Yes.”

He didn’t want to deal with this, but he found that it was better to deal with Elaine Moose’s calls regarding her oldest sooner rather than later. Sighing, wiping sweat from his brow, “Get back to town, go see your mother. I won’t mention this.”

Cynthia let out a deep breath, “holy shit, thank you.”

“Yeah,” Hopper grabbed his hat and stepped away from the car, “get outta here.”

Eddie also let out a breath as he heard the engine turn over and they started rolling.

“Holy shit, holy shit.” The girl basically chanted as they picked up speed, heading back to town.

“Hey, Moose?” It was his turn to interrupt as he leaned his head back against the car. “If it’s alright, I’m never riding with you anywhere ever again.”

Letting out a quick laugh before she pushed a cassette into the radio, she replied, “Understandable.”

#ocapp #strangerthingsocs #allaboutocs #fd: stranger things #c: cynthia moose #w: running town #eddie munson x oc #k writes #oc tag #eddie munson #stranger things

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megantheestalliongf · 5 months

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rant under the cut bc im back home for xmas and can feel myself going insane and reverting back to my high school self

When I moved to nyc I had to leave a bunch of my books at my parents house bc my new apartment didn’t have space for a bookshelf so I left them all in like 3 boxes in a corner of my parents basement, and I packed them away and handled everything with the books like they were genuinely out of the way in their house. And then after I move my dad sends me a photo of my books that he’s stacked and arranged on loose wood planks in their basement and I hated it bc it’s easily thousands of dollars of books from over the years, but I didn’t say anything bc like it’s their house and maybe they’re clearing out the basement for something u know so I don’t say anything. Then NOW I come home and the basement is the same as before, it’s disgusting and all my sisters stuff is literally covering the floor of the basement like it’s nearly impossible to walk around bc of all her stuff just literally on the floor. So now it’s like, u couldn’t have left my 3 boxes of books in the corner but u let your other daughter fuck up your basement beyond use?? and I know it’s not really important or that big a deal but it’s like my books are really important to me and I’ve spent a lot of money on them and have kept them in perfect condition for years and now they’re being squished on this makeshift shelf, but god forbid they stay in a few boxes while our other kid uses our basement as a pit for all her clothes and whatever else she has that she refuses to clean up or put away. And like obviously it’s not really about the books but it’s driving me fucking crazy how they refused to let my books stay in the corner but didn’t make my sister clean up any of her stuff

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ask-teamplayer · 1 year

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what do you guys all think of fate?

DARIN: not gunna lie sometime it b like

DARIN: ALL HAIL OUR GREAT FOREVER LEADER

DARIN: i aint know SHIT abt communism but we livin close to it with that guy

DARIN: that cute ass guy...

DARIN: cute as in cutie but also cute ass

DARIN: hes got a really cute ass im sayin

SETH: yeah, hes really hard to like... dislike!

SETH: he just worms his way under your skin and you cant even be mad at the little guy. hes just so charming and funny!

SETH: ive known him since i was young, so i have the best word here. how can you not fall in love with him a little??? bro love i mean. you know. how can you not just wanna wrap him up in a blanket??

NAHLA: Neeeerrrrdsss.

NAHLA: He is so full of bullshit, and honestly it's kind of crazy you think he's some kind of powerful leader type! He only breaks up fights because you're weak for him. So weaakk.

NAHLA: He is fun to prank. I will give you that and that only! It's funny to see him go on his little fits! Maybe that "small people are closer to hell" thing had some truth to it! Haha.

SETH: sure, nahla...

RONIN: yeah, f's probably the reason im friends with any of you stupid fucking people. he deserves some credit for that.

VERA: Hey now

RONIN: shit. except you, v. i dont know if we wouldve met without his divine intervention but i never wouldve hated you.

RONIN: we've got a trio thing going on with the guy, if you havent noticed, anon. he just forces us introverts to talk to each other, so i guess thats one thing he succeeded on.

CORA: I swear hearing the friend group discuss Fate without him in the room is always interesting. It's like he's some kind of friendship zeitgeist. Whenever he's in the room he's the center of attention, whenever he's out of it he's the center of discussion.

CORA: Somehow, every topic of colloquy we as a group have circles around to that boy and his many complexities. I enjoy his presence and participate in many philosophical discussions with him, but I'm more interested in the impact he leaves.

CORA: Every boy I am mutually friends with never shuts the fuck up about him. Even the straightest of macho men I have spoken with who accept his identity. It's quite humorous and frustrating.

LILY: hes silly :P

CORA: That as well...

ENZO: honestly its hard to tell if some of yall are too harsh on him except nahla in which case its really fuckin obvious and you gotta learn some empathy but whatever im not your dad

ENZO: dudes a goddamn sweetie pie but also a little asshole he balances it

ENZO: like the second i get uncomfortable he descends upon me like a shark smelling blood in the water to pamper me like im a fuckin handbag dog and hand out food and reassurances and sort the shit out he literally will just not let me be anxious ever no matter the circumstances

ENZO: he brings fuckin FANNY PACKS sometimes when we re out of school like he is THAT GUY

ENZO: i dont even think he knows half of what he does to me cause he drives me crazy lmao

CORA: As I said: Never shuts the fuck up about him. Homo-erotically crazy about this boy.

CORA: It's fascinating.

ENZO: yo cora i get its like your thing but can you interrogate me about my nonexistent sexuality issues a lil less cause i can fuckin hear you and its not all that polite

ENZO: im from the south i can make jokes like i ever experienced politeness in my life bro! shut up i literally just like the guy cause hes nice im not in the mood today

FATE: Sorry, bathroom break.

FATE: What are we talking about?

ENZO: NOTHING

CORA: Don't worry your pretty little head about it.

FATE: Cool.

#darin #seth #nahla #ronin #vera #cora #enzo #fate #lily #ask #anon

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nedpng · 5 months

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i have something i have been needing to kinda vent abt and this is my private echo chamber bc i have no clout but also i think enough time has passed for me to be able to talk abt it

in sept 2022 my someone i considered my best friend was arrested for a heinous crime. it quite literally changed my life overnight bc this friend and i had what i considered a great life. they were living in their apartment with their gf, their job sucked but it paid amazing, and they were pretty and popular in various community spaces. i was enjoying my life too bc i enjoyed my job in the mountains, loved my coworkers,my family was having a peaceful period, and i was enjoying being single again after my relationship with that one crazy bitch. the queen died that morning (memes were crazy) and i was driving home from work, excited to smoke weed and lay in bed before my weekend started (my job was a 4/10 at a mental health clinic, so i was off fridays+weekends). and then exbesties gf messaged the gc and told us that exbestie was arrested. i immediately messaged the gf, who i call Roomie when i talk abt her on here, to stay put and i drove over to figure out what happened. everything was confusing and there was a lot of information that wasnt lining up. two of our other friends came over and for support and after talking we put the pieces together and realized that whatever exbestie was arrested for… was probably actually true. (in the spring of 2023 they ended up being convicted and found guilty on two counts of … crimes against a minor ☹️)

Roomie n i ended leaning on eachother for a lot of support (i was the bsf and she was the gf). we ended up having romantic feelings for eachother and i honestly struggled with it at first bc i felt like i was betraying my best friend (exbestie is dead to me now). Roomie ended up having a housing crisis bc the income was gone bc exbestie is in jail. we were both having mental health issues and are frankly traumatized by the event. craziness ensued, i lived in that apartment with Roomie for a few months before i had to move us in with my parents (both my parents ended up sick and needing different surgeries and were out of work for months). more chaos bc my parents (dad) are controlling and emotionally abusive. roomie had a mental health crisis and had to be hospitalized for a while last summer. covid hit the house. ive been dealing with untreated pstd. my beloved childhood cat passed away. holidays were tense and sad. i struggled with feeling motivated or hopeful or happy for a long time because of everything.

anyways … currently roomie n i are in love and living with my parents. its not easy and we want to plan to save up and move out again, so we are taking small steps at a time. its hard to feel motivated or have any hope at all, but i love Roomie very much and being with her fills me with happiness and joy and i daydream (with limits) about the day we move out of my parents place and get to be together in our own space and free to live how we want. i have a lot of debt due to my massive manic episode in 2019 but im taking small steps to crawl out of it. anyways

#nedspeak #long ass vent sorry #uhhh some general content warnings… i keep everything kinda vague tho

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sweetie-sire · 2 years

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Ayo i wrote some hizzie garbage 🗑 im both sleep deprived and tired of life so whatevr have at it wolves.

Its not good so lol but this tag is dead af so idk

Also dodie is sad af

~i can finally see ~

"I dont understand how you always manage to choose her side josie" im enraged beyond what i thought i could ever possibly be and my naive idiot little sister doesnt manage to get it through her thick little skull. Mikaelson is gone.

"No lizzie YOU dont understand, shes just lost she needs us now more than ever! How can you not see that?!" Shes been at this for the past 20 minutes and quite frankly its getting old.

"Jo, all i see is our dearest dad finally finding out the prodigal daughter is just an evil coniving bitch" i see josie flinch at the dry humor but i no longer care.

~youre as fucked up as me~

Josie gets up and walks out of the room, before she exits she turns to me "I get that youre hurt lizzie but you need to remember why hope even resorted to this in the first place. She gave up her life and landons life just to make sure everyone else would be ok." I can see that bringing up landon hurts my sister there are tears in her eyes and im so tired of everyone bringing up deceased bird boy, since he will probably just find a way to come back anyway.

"Yeah well maybe we can go ask dad if we should forgive hope then!" I yell but shes already left and my snark is useless and i feel so frustrated i could tear my hair out.

~so how do we win?~

Josie has once again taken upon herself to go chasing after our long lost tribrid trying to find a way to help her or whatever. I know just the way to help hope.

Cleo sowande is my very own personal hero right now.

~brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth~

Im driving from dead end to dead end and all i can manage to think about is hopes stupid evil "im a Mikaelson fear me" face and scoff

The balls on this bitch.

I pull up on a trail i picked up and the feeling of this dive bar is more unsettling than the last. I walk in and instantly feel the need to relieve my stomach of its contents.

Theres body parts and blood everywhere. Some guys head chopped off by a pool table. Brutal i dont even know how nobody has been in here to clean up the mess. Oh a concealment spell nice to know she cares about some things i guess. She could have at least lit the place on fire.

~im sick of losing soulmates so where do we begin?~

"Why would i burn my own room down Lizzie"

"With my family history im not exactly immune to those issues. I would never say that stuff about you"

I scoff remembering that and for some reason the back of my throat feels tight.

Josie may be right she might need help, but i cant find it in me to see the same girl thats understanding and i have grown to begrudgingly tolerate to be the one leaving a trail of bodies up and down the coast.

She mauled my dad whats stopping her from doing the same to the rest of us.

And i might have grown to love her too but josie is too soft to do what needs to be done.

Someone has to stop her.

~time and hearts will wear us thin so which path will you take~

I dont know what the fuck possessed me to say that idiocy. Impending death? Minute insanity? I can see the little gears in her tiny evil head turning

Theres a spark of someone i used to know flicker through her eyes.

And i see it the moment the hurt flashes in her mind what she went through to get to this point. I see her intent

The resolve. To end me. What did i expect?

Some sick twisted voice in my head tells me to keep going and see if i can reach her.

I slowly try to approach her and my voice is cracking i dont even know what im saying anymore

I see it in her eyes whatever hope was left is gone

Ironic

Before she has a chance to snap and as soon as i feel her hands wrap around my neck i rush forward

I close my eyes and say fuck it.

God i must really be crazy.

Her lips are unmoving but still soft i must have caught her by surprise because im still alive so i press on and i can feel her reciprocrate for a second and theres relief in my heart that maybe this will all turn out ok. Due to an unconsensual kiss of all fucking things.

Its something i never really considered doing while i was on my way here but minute insanity must have won over my fried brain.

I sigh as i feel soft hands tighten around my neck and it all goes black

Thats going to be one awkward as fuck conversation when she realizes im not actually dead.

Whatever serves her right.

*insert dodie lyric cuz im cant be bothered to do it*

+ lizzie wakes up and is super cool about it while hope is a crying mess on the floor cuz she killed this bombshell and sassy lizzie is everything.

#hizzie #lizzie saltzman #hope mikaelson be like #legacies #rant #creative crying #i really hate posting fics on here cuz my gf follows me and thats fucking embarrassing but i need this fandom to stay alive.#i dont care if i have to do it myself one shitty fic at a time #fuck julie plec

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37q · 2 years

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eating disorder tw but its not the main focus rly i dont think hm wait ok maybe.. mostly gender talk actually

anyways personalizing "it's incredible what women will come up with if left to their own devices" for a sec: ive had trouble articulating this recent phenomenon in my life but lately ive been working on the values i hold "capability" to and the ways that i allow those values to make decisions for me instead of just living life with whimsy.

still caught up in optics as ive always been maybe as a disease of childhood transness but far better than i used to be and yet! im always weighing how material, physical empowerment will be gendered! i saw a quote a while back from like this one transfems lil memoirs and a conversation she had w a friend abt their eating disorder i think? and the friend was like yeah i mean transition and life as a woman has been excruciating enough already but whats another pain if itll help me pass? or whatever. im so scared of gaining any mass anywhere above my waist!!! i wanna throw up thinking about it!!!! oh my god ive never said that before i feel so sick!!!!!

anyways i struggle w NOT presenting weakness or frailty when im fearful of a gendering Eye of Patriarchy or fuckin. male panopticon inside my head but thats the thing! 🥰 ive been divorcing from that panoptic on my head lately! its still there lowkey but my drive to make my life better has been overcoming that adolescent "avoid male interests at all costs" fear :)

so now im like fascinated by like engineering again im thinking of ways to produce more effective hand rests on the bottom of my steering wheel (maybe i wont even have to remove the plastic on the wheel if im good enough at making sockets? for the rests if i make them attachable via clip :3c) and ive been making moves to get into woodworking and throwing together rudimentary furniture which is just so different than what id previously felt abt it. ive been fixing things so often lately like OBSESSED with getting tools for problems i understand 40 year old dads now. that thought is what kills me n saves me tho interestingly enough

what had previously been like a grand gendering process of establishing my princess status (its still there tho) had actually just been reinforcing the unhealthy habits i used to get there in the sense of physical and emotional weakness -- going largely untreated for like 3 or 4 disorders which either obliterate my prefrontal cortex, the integrity and efficacy of my synaptic response in neurotransmission, or my reception of the macro resources necessary to maintain basic body function to name a few... but like theres something to be said for how explicitly gendered it is to be starved-stupid crazy weak and feminine as fuck. not assigning values to those terms (anymore) i was just like leaning into being insanely unwell and calling it a gender role. which tbf is like the predominant myth ALSHSLFHDKD...

... but also im working on stepping away from internalizing a relationship w the myth of gender and using that reaction as my behavioral starting point! (affirmation and argument time) im not a man, i wont even trip and fall into manhood no matter what endeavors i pursue! no matter how much goes on in others ppls heads! there is no way to look at or engage with the world in an explicitly man way because life doesnt actually function on categorical dualities, not to mention bimodal distributions! and thats lesbianism (and therapy) at work! like no presumption of a male occupation of an Entire Sector Of Life And Economy and working on that latent projection of gendered insecurities (and thus production of gendered karma in my materialization of such a projection via action or inaction) onto a life thats literally Just Life Dude. i literally make it. the future doesnt exist yet and the only value it has it the karma we bring to it and take from it!

huge mood change ugh solemn now im forgetting the śūnyatā of the self, the śūnyatā of its form, the śūnyatā of the conception of form itself... of course its only determined internally via extant thought forms and reproduced via tangible, material projection... thats literally the whole racket! of course im suffering with it!!!!!!!!

sooooo yeah im working on recognizing impermanence and encouraging WWP (wonder whim play) just as long as i dont root it in a sense of stability or security! currently that security comes from my sense of any (patriarchal obvi) gendering processes at work in any social situation at hand so i could work on 1. shallowly, my proximity to men or 2. conventionally, my personal processes of projection and reaction to a psychological proximity to men or 3. ultimately, my necessity to ground my "sense of self" in an illusory, impermanent, and universally imprisoning process extant to saṃsāra such as the social mechanisms of gender. i dont even have to fight to have a name for what my wife n i got goin on not because its too complex or too hard but literally i dont care. my words are as empty as yours

#freeform

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everyothernamistaken · 1 month

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uvuwangwang

spring break was boring it rained everyday and when it didnt rain my dad had me water the lawn and then it rained again. But then i go back to school, normal day exept solar eclise day so no one wanrs ro be in school, afterschool i go to library but friend say library close so then we walk our ans see other thrend and he has 2 girls with him from not our school rhey sey theyre fo to library whrre club is, i go to library to inspect and there was no club but we stay in library and do puzzle then girl with glasses breaks puzzle and we leave, we gon ro mc donalds and then glasses girl keeps callinf me gringo but she was kinda hot so not big matter then miss entire eclypse becayse we were in mcdonalds but then we go to volleyvall but we kinda suck so instead we explor local collwgde the 2 wenr to i dont remwmvee the other girls name but i went home because there wad pasta at home and all i had at mc donald was sprite. Day after very boring

Day after that i have booring day but then i get home get message bloebloede we go to mall. My friends desicde to go to mall i show up ay time we said i sit im car 1 hour bevause everyone else is late, but, i saw a kitty cat in the parking lot so i made everyone wait 30 minutes while cops come ro save kitty cops take so long so i call local councelor who is also frienda dad to gey them quicker it did not work bur idc the cat was saved then we went shopping, so we go to game store and i see glasses and her firend and my firend but my other friends they drag me out before i can speak ro them so then we go to eat food bur then we realise there is a better food place bur we already oederd aperisers but i obly ate like a few fries bur wile i wad there we made plans ro make a band, and imediately my one friend suggested getting crazy ex to play guitar for us, this wad regarded as a bad idea as no one wants to but up with her as she is crazy. We then left food to drive 15 minyes to the other side of town ro get wings, i ordered hottest wings they had and there wad 6 of us bur only one cup so i didnt get a cup bwcause i did not want to use the communal cup which was acrualy my cup that i payed fkr but whatever the wings weregood but i wish my firnsd sdidnt drag me away from other friend because like every girl i know is like psychotic and they seemed not crazy minus the girl who calls me gringo she seemed slightly off also im pissed i missed the eclypse also when we go to mall we saw people we do not like such ad my friends dad and some guy from our school who is unlikeable also my parents want me to go to prom but i do not want to go so i do not think i will go but everyone says i wkll regret it but i think that every school function i go to has leed to regret so why risk it but all my firends are go but also all my not liked people i know are going

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centipeeing · 2 years

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firstly,your art is very cute,love your style. secondly,i need to know your list of most fucked up asutai and ranwan kinks/aus whatever......

you'r the only one who understand them on galaxy mind level. share your wisdom

uwaaa thank you for liking my art... ive been unconfident in my style lately so that means a lot!!

to be honest... I feel like I'm pretty vanilla when it comes to my own headcanons... despite being "problematic" or watever I think I'm pretty uncreative?!?!

also u kno ranwan and asutai are like the same dynamic the same pairing basically the same people!! its !! this conspiracy!! it drives me mad!!!!!!!

for ranwan I think it goes

baby trapping LMAO I THINK I LIKE THE IDEA OF CWN BABY TRAPPING MO RAN MORE SO THAN MO RAN DOING IT because I think mo ran would straight up just say he is going to pregante cwn's guzzy in the heat of the moment (and then actually shoot his load as deep as possible), while cwn would assume that mo ran has no interest in him as a partner and as a lover beyond physical touch so he would allow mo ran to take what he will until he is discarded and the moment that happens cwn will poke a damn hole in the condom (does sisheng peak have access to ancient chinese condoms) and take as many fertility medicines as possible to make the last lay count... then he would straight up never tell mo ran about it and just have a part of mo ran with him always even when he thinks mo ran wants nothing to do with him also i very specifically like this idea in mob boss txj AU.... did you read that mob boss fic where cwn owes txj 10mil yuan and hes like "if u get pregnant i might forgive your debt" that destroys my mental every time I think about it

age reversal with mo ran being the creepy predator shizun... EVEN IF IT ISNT NSFW FIC if someone writes shizun mo ran RESTRAINING HIMSELF from touching his PURE AND PERFECT DISCIPLE it makes me go sooooooo crazy... mo ran normalizing in cwn the idea of dating your extremely older shizun and it is totally normal to sleep in the same bed as your disciples yeah

did you read Cimmerian?? all of that... all of that is my ideal ranwan please read it. it changed my brain composition and made me crazy... I AM NOT EVEN INTO LIKE idk how to describe what that was... I guess "corruption" I am actually not a fan of corruption type AUs at all but it wasn't the typical type of corruption I JUST LOVE WHEN CWNS LOVE AND HIS NEED FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION AND VALIDATION FROM THE ONE PERSON HE CARES ABOUT OVERRIDES HIS MORALS AND EVERYTHING HE HAS WORKED FOR TO IMPROVE OTHERS LIVES LMAO. That is my favorite part of CWN... THE CWN WHO LOVES TAXIAN-JUN!! He forgives so much of what taxian-jun does because hes a bleeding heart despite being the great beidou immortal whom so many look to for safety and protection and i just became so obsessed with ranwan when he just decides that the one thing he wants in the world won't be taken from him again and he'd rather die with txj than to keep living to protect sisheng peak and the whole cultivation world??????????

SORRY THIS LIST IS KIND OF BORING!! IT ISNT DEGEN OR ULTRA PROBLEMATIC BECAUSE IM TRULY A SHAM!!!!!!!!!

Ok for Asutai its kind of harder to think of what is my favorite kink or AU since its all scattered... and there are rarely any good fic that get me going?

I think i just really love shota Taishakuten AU the MOST.. THERE WAS THIS FIC where Asura kidnaps child Taishakuten and raises him on the battlefield instead of letting him live with his family. He teaches him war tactics and gives him love and affection because Asura wants to change the outcome of Taishakutens fate, thinking that taking him away from the poison that is the Deca and his shitty dad/brothers who hate him. but he basically grooms him and taishakuten falls in love with asura and they eventually fuck drunk but taishakuten like k-words himself in the end and the cycle continues because Asura was just using an illusion realm to torture himself for not being able to save taishakuten it hurt me so much

Ok me and my friend have this AU about asutai where Asura is a broke college student who cant pay for his own tuition. Taishakuten is a rich ass guy working for Deca corp or whatever you would call it... and he becomes so obsessed with Asura he offers to pay for his tuition and literally becomes his sugar daddy full time. Taishakuten probably wouldn't be happy with how often Asura has to be away from him and plus the deca dump a shit ton of work on him, also he probably sees Asura making friends at some point and gets insanely jealous of that and cannot allow it AT ALL!!!!!!!!!! So Taishakuten would burn down Asura's campus so there are no in person classes and all classes are moved remote but Asura doesn't have a laptop or a quiet area for it so hes forced to move in with Taishakuten so now Taishakuten has him all for himself. Ok not problematic but when I am feeling down I think about this AU and it brings a smile to my face

Just in general for both of them... I am into the unhealthy levels of jealousy they would have for the other when they see their babygirls interacting with anyone that isn't them. I have BPD so I gotta channel that amount of psychotic energy into mo ran or cwn or taishakuten (asura doesnt have the capacity to be jealous hes too good) because they 100% would try to ruin someones life WHETHER OR NOT IT IS INTENTIONAL just to get the others attention back ON THEM!!!

#spoilers #asks #headcanons

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tinyorangepotato · 2 years

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I'm constantly so needy and jealous and I'm glad I don't (at leats I think I dont) show it because god that would be annoying. this is the first time in actually a little while since I have been unable to sleep when I wnat to (usually around 12 or 1. it's now 2:30 and ive tried to sleep) and im awake and energetic while being sleepy and if someone walked up to me and said hey let's go take a walk and chat, I would be so down to join. I just wanna talk but the one person who I would enjoy talking to will probably be back awake in 2 hours and hopefully I'm not still awake by then because I got work in the morning and I alreayd suck at waking up and now I'm going to sleep even later than usual.

anyqyas back to the main topic, God I just want to cuddle or hang out and watch a show or just lay down and chat and hang out with someone and I should've been selfish earlier when he got us in a vc but wanted to go to sleep at 9 but I can't. there's no reason for me to insist on staying talking other than I wanted to and I know he would be sleepy so not talking as much and has ti wake up earlier than I do and do more intense work which he gets almsot no break from and so he needs his sleep but what about me (that's sarcasm(proabbyl the wrong word). I'm not that needy... maybe)

but like one of my friends will go to a Halloween party and have a fun time and run around and drink and shit meanwhile I fucking wish. God im just so envious of anything and everything always. I wish I wasn't always the driver but I'm the only one of my friend group that can drive and make plans. i wish I had other people I liked to hang out with because , again, I'm the planner of my group and I dotn host parties or whatever and I just wanna feel like the movies show. where you go to a party (it doesn't even have to be like a huge one like how 21 jumpstreet has it or whayever) and hang out with peope and do crazy ish things and drink and run and jump on a tire swing (that's what I'm friend did) and man. I just want ti have fun. other people do either with getting new things so starting a new hobby or getting into a new show and talking about it constantly or going out somewhere and not having to worry about everything.

I don't know where I'm going with this. but fuck I want things. I'm now putting aside all of ym paychecks except a full tank of gas (fill up when I get paid) and 50 dollars for getitng food when at work or any emergencies. I have been giving myself like 150 but I realized how much I owe while also still trying to save up for a place which I think jm the only of the two of us saving but that's okay because he makes more and will be paying for more things and he's already actually paying for his car insurance and all that while I'm not so I can afford to be broke when I get paid.

I owe like 5k still for my teeth (it's all just paying back care credit and I think I ahve 10 more motnhs to do it but im paying like 300 everyone month and I get only around 1k every month. so hopefully I'll be saving around 600 every month).looked at places and even the cheapest trailer was still a down payment of around 7k menawhike ive got not even 3 saved up and my dad still owes me that 1600 but he's been having a rough time even in his new better job so that's still gonna be a while.

and once we do get the place, I'll have to buy a mattress and dresser and all that shit becaus ei don't ahve fucking anything. hell I don't even have my own 4 walls to kepe anything at the moment. I got a second technically 3rd) job but that pays like shit. it was legit paying minimum wage so not even 9 dollars a d I've made 70 bucks the first pay period I've worked there (2 weeks) which is dogshit. for 8 fucking hours. at my first, better job, I would've made close to 120 with taxes removed. but I cant fucking get mor ehours there because of my fucjing aunt

I love her and I like to help out and she's the onyl reason I have a car and insurance (car insurance thay is) and have food every day but god damn. Sunday Tuesday and Friday I pick up carry out and then go to her place from like 11-3 (it's fairly random hut usually fits w8thin that time). so it's not like i can work more at job 1 seeing as they close at 6 and thay extra 2 and a half hours is not worth driving there and back. so I got another job but I've barely been scheduled and when I have it's been times I alreayd said I can not do. so I gotta pick up others shifts but my brain says "or you cna ignore the message and watch youtube" so that's usually what I do.

I wish I had a more simple schedule. even if I went to my aunts like 7-11 or at night it would work better but she's nto awake rhay early and she goes to lay down at around 6 so the time we have rn is the best time. but it fucks everything.

hell I would be more happy if I even just had a room to myself. that's all I want. please. even my friend who doesn't have a mattress to sleep on has a room and privacy and now 3 kittens constantly interacting with them and fuck. I qant soemthing for myself. I'm legit signing up for Doordash just so I can make a few extra bucks when I got ahit else to do.

I just want and need and fuck man im not gonan ever say it to anyone because I'm constantly like this and it's irrational and selfish so I'll keep it to myself to not harm anything. I'm a possessive and needy can't but no one will know because I push it down because it won't do any good to let it out.

(also really doesn't help rhat I am spending a few hundred on Christmas present for my friends but shhhh that's how I show love I guess so it's okay)

#tiny talking #tiny vent #... its now 2:50 #please. i want to sleep

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ilovegoats77 · 2 years

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so, i guess i should start with whatever started all of this fuckery, and why i want to do this.

i feel my mental health is at its worst, and i wish i could say this is all for attention and its faked, but everything in here is extremely raw. and why i chose tumblr? no one i know knows me here. i needed someplace to put my thoughts, so here they are.

i feel like my mental health is declining at its worst. i really think this is the lowest point in my life where i cannot stand my own body, mind, or anything like it. but im at an extremely high point in my life. amazing relationship, doing well in life, and amazing family connections. but, that being said i do feel that this is the first time in my life it hasnt been chaotic, and i cant stand it. i really, really cant.

its driving me crazy. and i do think thats why its so loud in my head. my thoughts range from hurting myself and showing off because thats well. thats how my head can get. i dont even want the attention? i dont think. but i dont really understand it myself.

ive been more angry, more aggressive, but i really have no clue why. i think im going under possible states of denial that i may have something severly wrong with me, but i also know i do. wether it be from my fucked up mom and what she gave me, to all of the sexual abuse i suffered constantly throughout my childhood years. i didnt have a childhood, and i wish i realized sooner before it was too late.

i guess it started from when one of my sexual abusers died.

thats alot to take in. a few months as of writing this my sexual abuser died. he got into a fight with his girlfriend late at night, and walked onto the highway drunk, and boom.

he was my brother.

well, step brother actually. but weve known each other for so long i used to consider us very close.

now, for context. my mom was always fucked up, and we all agree she should not have had kids. she isn not mentally well enough and never has been to have anything. think of a 15 year old nightmare in a 40 year old body. my grandma wont stop telling me how much she regrets not taking her to therapy, but i really dont blame anyone of how my mom is but herself. too stubborn enough to refuse her medications, but too pathetic to not rant on facebook about how her two boyfriends refused to take her out to dinner because they have their own lives.

total shitshow. weve got cps called on us many times from her screaming at me and my sister. (they could hear her two streets away) and luckily my grandma works with the police, so she never got in trouble. part of me wishes she did, but also doesnt. weird, i have so much sympathy for her but i dont.

i feel too bad to fully hate her, but i feel bad saying i do.

shes very mentally not okay, so i dont blame a lot on her. except her refusing therapy for some odd reason. whatever, its not my problem.

i cant tell you how many times as a young child i had to stop her from harming herself, seeing drugs around her, or how when she gets sad and mad she screams at us tellingnus its all our fault and how shes (in detail) going to kill herself, and how many fucking times ive had to comfort her as a child about her boyfriend leaving her because shes totally fucked. its helped me gain a sense of how to help people i guess, but no one needs to see that.

but anyways, totally fucked up. whatever, now. shes always had these millions of boyfriends, ive actually seen her single. huh.

i dont actually have a dad, and i really dont know if i have any issues resulting from that? but i dont think so. but yes, i cant tell you as a child how many random men ive called dad, and then once i do they leave my mom. but i only have my mom to blame for that one. one of them is my sisters dad.

i have two biological sisters, and they all have seperate dads.

the middle child, (im the youngest) ill call her AD. ads dad used to be in the military, and sold drugs in the military. now stay with me okay?

his mom is still a huge drug addict, and lost her husband due to it. one day while my mom and her boyfriend were gone, and AD’s dad was in the military, my mom had his mom watch me. i was maybe 1. once my mom and her boyfriend left town they had to get called back instantly because the pokice and emergecy vehicles were there to take the drugs out of their system, and they were doing it while i was sound asleep on their bed. her husband died while they both did the drugs from an overdose. they never went to jail for whatever reason, never really asked since its a sensitive subject i assume. but, ive been around drugs for a long while. and dont worry, i hate drugs with ever fiber in me.

now, my youngest sister, all call her SO. SO’s dad was awful. when i was in 5th grade i met her dad named Adam. he was your classic white trash. lived in a fucked up house, satanist, trashed house, you name it.

we lived in his house for a few months. beer cans everywhere, but he had two kids (this is before SO was born). a boy and a girl. ZAND was the brother and ZANDR was the sister. (nicknames). and they were my best friends. ZAND was the brother i spoke of when i first started this post.

we all grew up together, and when my mom heard she was pregnant with SO we moved into a house out in some orange groves. id love to find a picture of it, but its been condemned for black mold growing in it. but it was a very sketchy house. imagine a small house with fencing around with, (with barbed wire,) with trees surrounding it. a light blue i think? with three bedrooms, a basement and a tampoline in the back.

SOs dad was a peice of shit. he frequently raped my mother in their room at night. and she later on told me about a year ago that since she was a heavy christian lady, he threatened her with pretending to be satan and yelling demonic chanting at her in her ear. she was extremely terrified.

he would scream at us, and ill be honest when i say i really dont remember much of that house other than what ill tell you, and that we lived on a well. and when that well ran out no one came to our house to refill it. so we had to go to adams moms house to take a shower once a week since he wouldnt really let us leave the house unless absoloutely needed. and take a huge note, i got bullied before constantly. would come home with black eyes because i was a weak small kid who was a nerd, so i was an easy target. i didnt grow up with many friends, but only showering once a week? oh man. when i told you i got avoided and bullied constantly, i wouldnt lie to you. it was fucking awful.

i remember being laughed at constantly for whatever they find the need to laugh at me for. moved schools 3 months in because it got so bad.

now, this is when the sexual abuse took a play in. my brother, when i was 6-8? i dont exactly rember the age i was, but i know he was definitely a teenager. locked me in a closet pretending to play hide and seek with me.

he tormented me in that fucking closet.

it was pitch black, and hebhad previously told me someone hung themselves in it, i was terrified. he would slam and laugh at the door. sending me into a frantic shock, and i was in full fight or flight. then he shoved me in; and locked himself in there with me, and started rubbing his own dick against my back. i felt it. i, felt, it. i eventually got my mom called in the room, and she took us out. and gotbus in trouble.

there were other times where he also used me and took advantage of my niceness and naiveness to get sexual gratification. when he was playing minecraft and id ask to play? “show me yer bewbs lawl” and it would be constant so i never could play with him. and it was things like that.

funny story actually, he went into a huge court case four-three years ago for touching a child. he got off on probation, but it never sat right with me.

his sister ZANDR told me he had a few more cases just like that, that no one told me about. it was fucking insanity. that house is insanity, and that was just many crazy stories id rather forget.

im extremely tired, and ill update this sometime tommorrow. thank you for reading this far, it means a lot :).

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