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collabwithmyself · 10 months

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ourgh it's been so long since i've written something on my own. yeehaw pikmin au time

Hitoshi Hidaka awakens with lungs full of smoke, limbs full of pain, and ears full of alarm bells.

He tries to crack open his eyes and instantly regrets it- slapping a hand over them as flashing red warning lights pierce directly through them and into his brain. His agonized groan trails off into a cough partway through.

Not a great way to wake up, he thinks.

He needs to figure out where he is and what's going on. He's slumped forward over a hard surface, misshapen objects digging into his torso through his clothes.

Dashboard. Right. He was flying. Which means... he probably crashed. That would explain the smoke and alarms.

He attempts a second time to open his eyes, squinting through the haze and light and the film of his own tears. The acrid air stings. He needs his helmet.

He forces himself to his feet, only for his legs to nearly buckle underneath him as his entire body protests the movement. His hands scrabble at the dashboard he was slung over moments ago, seeking support for his knocking knees. He's not strong enough to keep himself upright, and goes crashing to the floor with an unpleasant jolt.

The alarm continues to flash and shriek. The smoke refuses to dissipate. Safe in the knowledge he's at least alone, Hitoshi allows himself one frustrated, childish whine.

He fumbles for the seat to try and pull himself up again. His hand only meets a metal pole and dangling wires. Ejected- without him. Some safety measures.

Still, it's enough support to put him on his hands and knees. He cracks his eyes open a third time, just long enough to figure out where his locker is. At least that's in one piece. He shuffles towards it like a dog, cringing to himself at the sheer lack of dignity.

The suit's tough to put on at the best of times. He's always hated zippers. But in these current conditions, it's nearly impossible to fit into, fabric chafing at his sore limbs and refusing to let him squirm into it properly. He considers just giving up and letting himself choke. It's a damn miracle he manages to get his helmet and pack on.

But it's rewarding. Cool, fresh air fills his helmet, and he takes grateful gulps of it, swearing to himself once more never to take breathing for granted.

He's alive, guaranteed for the next short while. He'd better assess the full extent of the damage, both to himself and his ship, once he can actually get up.

He's not sure how long he lays there, cringing as the alarms continue to beep at him even through his helmet. His ears folding down can only do so much. Eventually it's too much to bear, so he attempts a third time to stand.

He manages to keep his feet under him this time, with fresh air in his lungs and a moment to rest. But his knees and back, poor at even the best of times, twinge with every step. He's forced to stand as he examines the console, and regards the ejected seat with newfound disappointment as he does.

It takes a moment to remember how to turn off the alarm. Blissful silence fills the cockpit after he presses the button, and it's all he can do not to slump in relief.

But it's not silent, it turns out. Even with ringing ears, he can make out the hiss and creak of damaged machinery all around him. He shouldn't stay in here. Once he runs diagnostics, he needs to get out.

He can't help but feel a pang of regret. Ten years he's flown this ship, and he's gone and totaled it over...

...he can't actually remember what he did. Just that he was on a delivery run, and...

He can worry about that later. Trembling hands work the dashboard, clumsy through gloves and pain. He squints as the cracked display lights up.

"Okay, girl," he breathes. "Let's see what I did to you."

The computer renders for a moment as it runs diagnostics.

MAIN ENGINE - MISSING

Hito blinks.

"Wh... missing?"

Missing is very, very different from damaged. How is he meant to repair the engine if he doesn't have anything to repair--?

POSITRON GENERATOR - MISSING

Okay. It's- it's fine. He'll just find the parts, they can't have fallen far--

FUEL DYNAMO - MISSING

#1 IONIUM JET - MISSING

#2 IONIUM JET - MISSING

It's only a few--

ZIRCONIUM MOTOR - MISSING

SHOCK ABSORBER - MISSING

CHRONOS REACTOR - MISSING

Maybe he can call for help--

INTERSTELLAR RADIO - MISSING

ANALOG COMPUTER - MISSING

GEIGER COUNTER - MISSING

Just wait it out until he's found--

ANTI DIOXIN FILTER - MISSING

RADIATION CANOPY - MISSING

GUARD SATELLITE - MISSING

As the list grows and grows, Hito's breathing picks up. His heart pounds in his chest. He's stranded somewhere unfamiliar, with his ship in pieces and only so much battery in his filter pack. It doesn't matter that he survived the crash with minimal injuries- he's going to die here, isn't he?

DANDELION RESIN - MISSING

Something cold reaches into his chest and pulls.

He thinks, the ship kept track of that?

Then he doesn't think anything at all for a while.

#collab ocs #collab doodles #collab writes #pikmin au #pikmin #hitoshi

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modgirlyreposts-revamped · 3 years

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Millie headcanons!!

- I see her as having more of a gothic lolita/almost Victorian gothic style tbh? Basically she dresses like Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice. However I love throwing in more mall goth aspects too. Fancy black dress, messy looking makeup, demonia boots, Victorian mourning jewellery, and spiked choker & bracelets kinda thing you get me?

- Bullied kid with comorbid probably undiagnosed ADHD and depression type beat

- I imagine ITP takes place in like, early or maybe mid 2010s. I've seen on this blog once or twice the idea of Millie being around the pizzaplex and i love that idea but I always saw her as like, a closer to classic Freddy Fazbear's kid.

- Her family is pretty well off. That's why she can actually afford to dress the way she does (yeah I'm jealous what of it)

- She likes horror a Lot. It's something of a hyperfixation of hers, but it leaves her grandpa quite concerned because My Granddaughter Has Been Holed Up In Her Room Watching Horror Movies All Day Is She Mentally Stable

- I know in canon she was only going to stay with her grandpa while her parents were away but I got the vibes that her grandpa basically helped raise her. (In my own weird au where millie and sarah like, band together with the other protags to investigate freddy fazbears and specifically the bite of 83 and shit she just full on lives with him lol)

- She's intimidating as Fuck when she gets mad.

- Her hair is not naturally black (not sure what color it Is tho, maybe blonde??), but she dyes it (I also imagine she likes to throw in some purple streaks or a black to purple ombre sometimes)

- She has like 3 piercings on each ear. The second set no one knew she was getting until she came back home from going out to do so. She was banned from getting piercings as a punishment so the third one was also a secret no one in the family noticed for like months.

- She would love FNaF. I feel like she'd make "man behind the slaughter" jokes. Is that old? Me and my sister still do it.

- She is absolutely awful with kids, but they love her. She goes out to the park with a black umbrella to brood dramatically in the shade and from the playground she just hears "Millie!!" And then a small crowd of children runs up asking if she'll play with them. She always gives in and agrees to play in the end. She can never even remember their names or anything but they see the sad girl in all black and immediately know She's Friend. She would die for them.

- Oswald is her surrogate brother and ok now that I'm thinking abt millie in the pizzaplex era Gregory would be too 100%.

- She likes chocolate. She gives me the vibes of someone who just, chocolate everything. Her grandpa buys chocolate chips for baking and Millie eats them all.

- As a kid she cried a lot and didnt know how to/was too afraid to stand up for herself. She has a lot of repressed anger from those years and tends to dramatically overreact as a result (I'm not projecting what do you mean)

[TW for implied abuse for the next three]

- OK BOUNCING OFF THAT ONE HC THAT DYLAN HAS DID AS SOMEONE WHO MAYBE HAS IT MYSELF I LOVE THAT. I have an Idea for how it would've formed which is that his familial situation is Very Not Good. Anyways I think, he has probably abt 10 ish alters, Millie would get along with most of his alters. I think Dylan would have multiple persecutor alters which r alters who formed from trauma who harm the body or other alters to try and protect them. Millie actually gets along surprisingly well with one of them.

- On another note w/ Dylan tho Millie's grandpa meets Dylan, finds out just a little bit abt his family and basically tells him like "my home is your home, if you're not safe there, you're always welcome here" so <3 he likes to spend basically all his time at Millie's grandpa's house and he doesnt say it but he worries hes like is your home really that bad do I need to call CPS?

- Millie's parents come home at the end of the year and are like well what'd we miss? And her grandpa's like look at my new grandson Dylan :) Dylan come out and say hi!! And out comes a teenage boy with bright red hair, a bunch of piercings (also a scar on one ear), wearing spiky platform boots, spiked bracelets and choker like Millie's (but in white w/ black spikes) and patched black jeans, wiping Pop Tart crumbs off a My Chemical Romance shirt and he just looks up at them totally nonchalantly and goes "Heyo" and walks off and they're like MAURICE WHAT THE HELL?!? WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THIS KID?!?! JUVIE?!!?!??

- Millie's grandpa doesn't Know Dylan has DID 100%- Dylan hasn't told him and doesn't plan to- but he notices major changes in personality from time to time and catches Millie, Sarah or Brooke calling him different names occasionally. That plus his vague knowledge of what goes down at Dylan's house, he's sorta put the dots together on his own, but he hasn't said anything yet.

- Ok so like, I love the idea of Brooke having like a pastel/bubblegum-bitch aesthetic. One time Brooke dressed Millie up in a pastel goth style (and Dylan gave her a scene/emo style) and at the time she was like it's so BRIGHT it's so SOFT WHAT but shes been thinking about that ever since and occasionally while shopping she'll pick out a pair of cutesy/pastel earrings or a neon accented choker or something like that.

- Brooke introduces Millie and Dylan to Marina. Millie introduces Brooke to MCR (or something, idk, for as much of a goth as I am I mostly listen to Penelope Scott). Dylan introduces them both to FaLiLV (a Japanese band). Brooke does not like their taste in music.

- Millie's idea of calming down is laying on her bed and listening to screamo.

This took me an hour and a half I'm sorry

ADHAKFJHSJKJHKDSSJFD I LOVE THESE-

The one about Millie being terrible with children but them loving her anyway, is so accurate to my Millie as well. She can take care of a child about as well as she can take care of herself (not much at all-), but her cousins absolutely love when she babysits them, and Gregory looks up to her as a role model (Millie's just like "thanks, but reconsider!" lol)

And the one with Millie's grandpa practically adopting Dylan, I swear ur trying to kill me with wholesomeness, I love them sm. In my AU if Dylan was having issues with his family and Millie's grandpa found out, he'd just calmly stand up and walk into the garage, coming back with a baseball bat. He'd calmly tell Millie and the others that he's just going to have a "talk" with Dylan's parents, while Millie knowing damn well just what he means by that starts chasing after him telling him not to do this, Dylan not far behind.

Dylan's parents would just hear someone pounding on their door, and when they answer there's just an extremely tired and pissed off 60 something year old man on their doorstep, and two teens attempting to hold him back, all while Millie's grandpa is shouting a load of expletives at them.

The whole time Dylan is just panicking, and is all like "M-Mr. Fitzsimmons, you don't have to do this!", whereas Millie knows that her grandfather will not calm down until someone is at least hospitalized.

#asks #answered #spirits-in-the-wind

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okamirayne · 3 years

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Hi Rayne!! Just finished (yet another) re-read of BtB, and I don't think I've cried this hard in a long, long time - it was very cathartic. But, feels aside, I was wondering if you could tell us a bit more about Karibi? She's fascinating and I'm just dying to know more! (Sorry if this has been asked before!!)

Hi there, my lovely Anon!

Apologies for the delayed response. Aw, luv. Always so, so chuffed to learn someone has revisited the series and even more touched to know it hits you in the feels <3.

But, feels aside, I was wondering if you could tell us a bit more about Karibi? She's fascinating and I'm just dying to know more! (Sorry if this has been asked before!!)

Karibi! <3 Firstly, no, this hasn’t been asked before, so imagine my excitement regarding an OC ASK -- can you picture it? TREBLE IT. XD

Another dear Anon asked about Naoki in a previous ASK and I thank you for your expressed interest in Karibi! It’s a funny one because I have two Karibi OCs -- the edited version I inserted into BtB and the original, original version. Given that we’re talking about BtB Karibi...let me rewire my character brain a moment and firmly draw a line or two...or twelve....

Right! A Third War orphan, Karibi grew up in the orphanage outside of Konoha and proved to be quite a handful over the years given her feisty nature, constant escape-attempts, insistence on dressing and behaving like a boy (for which she earned consistent bullying and beatings), and her rough-housing free-for-all scraps with other kids -- as well as her routine habit of stealing food from the kitchens to give to a stray dog who constantly hung around the outskirts of the orphanage. It was easier for her to attach herself this dog than other kids who came and went, just like the voluntary care-givers. Her mischief-making, stealthy tactics, “never stay down” stubbornness and streetwise attitude soon caught the attention of a retired Konoha ANBU veteran (a patron of the orphanage) who interrupted a violent fight between Karibi and a group of local boys who’d stoned the dog to death. Observing how fiercely she fought (always getting up when knocked down) despite being outnumbered and beaten, the ANBU veteran recognized her potential, promptly adopted her, and trained her in ninjutsu, genjutsu and chakra control.

Their relationship was close, until it wasn’t.

Advancing quickly through the academy and ranks – winning zero friends along the way – she was soon put forward for ANBU by her adopted father, who immediately cut his ties to her, damaging an already tentative trust. Intended as a solo agent, she was immediately assigned to a 3-team ANBU unit named Team Yokai consisting of herself, Genma, and Naoki (Captain).

Enter in, bonding.

It was here, after a lot of boundary testing and testosterone busting, that she finally formed some hard-won emotional attachments after beating Genma and Naoki bloody in taijutsu combat – taunting them constantly to get up (“seven times down, eight times up”). While she was promptly one-upped by both in ninjutsu, her genjutsu prowess brought her right back onto an even keel with them both. Perfectly balanced, respect began to form between them – then friendship – which later led to a lover’s trine between the three of them. This was intense but short-lived; Karibi soon recognised that though she loved them both, she preferred women and also realised Genma and Naoki’s feelings for each other went a hell of a lot deeper than ‘close friends with benefits’. She knew they’d fallen for each other before either admitted it to themselves, let alone each other.

The three of them were inseparably close.

They were more than her friends or comrades – they were her family.

They kept each other going.

Karibi allowed Naoki to establish a permanent telepathic link with her whereas Genma only allowed it during missions and in the bedroom. Karibi kept her mind open to Naoki always, though he never intruded until years later after being listed as Killed In Action.

His death blew a hole in their world.

Their team was dismantled.

They would not accept another Captain.

To make matters worse, due to the unbroken telepathic link and the resulting ghost of Naoki’s presence in her head, Karibi never truly believed Naoki had died and her adamant ‘denial’ of this ‘fact’ created a heart-breaking rift between her and Genma.

This rift between them grew darker and wider as Genma turned to solo deep-cover missions and Karibi turned to drink when she wasn’t neck-deep in assassinations and a failed “could’ve been” relationship. And then one day the edge of all the smashed glass bottles in her life looked very, very tempting.

Genma found her, just in time – the first time at least.

Treated and cleared of suicide risk, Karibi was soon diagnosed as schizophrenic given the “voice” of her dead Captain in her head and this threatened her position in the ANBU – but her brokenness caught Danzō’s interest.

After a failed attempt to recover her relationship with her civilian lover and unable to mend the rift between herself and Genma, she signed on for a ROOT initiation mission – which sadly finished what she’d started with the bottle – though it was an impulsive and sudden decision rather than a deeply pre-meditated one. She disobeyed orders when sent into a child-trafficking operation being run out of an orphanage. This was a trigger for her. Rather than complete the ROOT mission of kidnapping a couple of kids for ROOT grooming, she murdered her ROOT partner and slaughtered the “nuns” who were supposed to be taking care of the children rather than indenturing them into the sex-trade to raise funds. When the ninja traffickers showed up, she lit the building on fire, and while the children escaped she made damned sure not one “piece of trash” running the trafficking ring got out alive.

She went down fighting in flames.

Her death was the final crippling blow to Genma. He went to Mizugumo immediately after that. Then he went to his own personal hell before Kakashi met him there in ANBU’s gutter and helped drag him out of it years later, saving him from the same fate as Karibi when he almost identically mirrored the blaze of glory tragedy with his suicide attempt in Tanzaku years later.

Random Trivia:

Karibi loved dogs and often kept an eye out for Inuzuka women looking for a bit of rough and tumble.

She dealt with a lot of possessive shit from Naoki. He was very possessive of his family/lovers and was only just about able to accept Karibi being intimate with others, even after he’d stopped sleeping with her. Genma always joked that Naoki only accepted her activities because her preference was for women, not men.

Karibi, like Naoki, felt strongly about the abuse of children, given certain illicit incidents she’d witnessed at the orphanage -- she and Genma understood Naoki’s childhood trauma and were the only ones who could handle him when he flew into a rare rage

Her favourite catchphrase was “seven times down, eight times up” (“Nana korobi, ya oki” which means “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” It means choosing to never give up hope, and to always strive for more.)

While her ANBU step-parent/mentor abandoned her in the end, she retained the green knit scarf he gifted her (the only gift she’d ever received from him other than her training and removal from the orphanage)

She began to fall for a civilian woman -- the scariest thing for her, other than losing her teammates.

Karibi’s top value was “resilience” and never giving up – which made her suicide attempt so painful for Genma to accept

She turned to Naoki for help retrieving memories about her parents – this enabled him to perfect his own kinjutsu to reverse memory erasure

She had a plethora of ear piercings and a tattoo Naoki inked on her hip

She loved various green teas

She had a crush on Kurenai – round about the same time Genma did, which made for an interesting competition between them….and a somewhat unfair irritation towards Asuma.

She was a bit of magpie in the ANBU and stole items on missions, donating them privately to the orphanage

She loved berry-picking and was very well-versed with poisons

Genma gave her chickenpox and she gave him hell for it

She almost managed to shove a spinning top up Genma’s ass – almost.

Genma accidentally broke her baby finger playing “thumb wars” and it never set properly on the joint, causing her to have a crooked little finger

Most of her illusion/genjutsu techniques focus around folklore creatures and light, which came in handy on missions dealing with highly suspicious village folk

Her dream goal was to one day be Goei Shotai to a female Hokage – a dream Genma later lived out for her when Tsunade came into power

Naoki was with her telepahtically when she died, as Genma was with Naoki when he died -- in that way, Karibi was not as alone in death as Genma always feared.

Wow, that was LONG. Sorry, Anon! I absolutely love character-writing and development....I get carried away even if most of their story never makes it into the actual written piece. Thank you for asking about Karibi, I hope this insight gives you some answers! <3

#OC asks #Karibi #BtB OCs #BtB series #BtB Asks #BtB Ask #Genma #Naoki #Team Yokai #break to breathe by okami rayne #btb series #break to breathe #okami rayne #okamirayne #okami-rayne

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 5 years

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I've always seen stories portraying Zhuilingyi with LJY as the one to join SZ/JL, which is good and all, gimme all that LJY angst - but consider: LSZ and LJY are childhood friends and get together probably before canon starts, and JL is the awkward third wheel who starts falling for them and reacts very badly when he figures it out.LJY screams at him for being a prissy princess and not telling them how he feels and then kisses him and LSZ's just. Smiling at both of them and blushing like crazy.

sorry it took me so long to reply, but your ask changed my life and i had to write something about this moment, because you’re absolutely right -we need more flustered!jl in this universe.

just, i thought it’d be shorter, but honestly i couldn’t limit myself into commenting your idea and nothing more. FORGIVE THIS FOOLISH MASTER!

“Formation!”

Lan JingYi nods swiftly, all previous chattiness gone from his demeanour. He follows Lan SiZhui with practiced steps, dancing lethally but gracefully around their prey. He seems as elegant as the other, a quality one would not think JingYi capable of -which is just stupid, he is a Lan, after all, they are born like that.

Jin Ling’s heart thunders in his chest. He grips the handle of his sword, grits his teeth, but he doesn’t close his eyes.

They stay wide open, and take everything in -the resentful energy leaving the corpses under the array created by SiZhui and JingYi’s combined strength, they perfect coordination, pure white robe swaying in the night wind and blades flashing sleek and crystal clear as entities of their own.

The corpses stop moving, falling on the ground, and the two Lan disciples halt, breathes not even heavy, energy quivering excitedly around them and on their faces.

SiZhui’s ponytail winds up on his left shoulder, forehead ribbon fluttering for a moment. The boy’s relief gentles his facial features, but the residual rush from the battle still lingers on his contracted arms, straight back, drawn sword, vigilant and focused eyes.

He throws a side glance at the other side of the formation, nodding in silent acknowledgement at his childhood friend.

JingYi’s mouth opens in a wide grin, the smooth skin at the corners and on his cheekbones wrinkling in a joyful expression, forelock swinging and trying futilely to cover the twinkling in his irises. He seems on the verge of saying something -stops when SiZhui tosses something. JingYi catches it swiftly, laughing at the sight of a juicy looking loquat -Wei WuXian must have rubbed it off on him in the long run. Things like how did you know I was hungry? and As if I still need to ask you hover between them, needless to voice out loud.

Then, SiZhui turns and walks toward him, smiling tenderly at Jin Ling. So they know I’m still here he huffs, eyeing warily the loquat he is being offered.

Lan SiZhui, “You should eat, Young Master Jin. It is important to retain one’s strength until the very end.”

Jin Ling knows, he is not stupid, nor does he need all this curtesy and big words and long sentences every time he is being addressed by either of them.

He hesitates, sheathes away his sword, falters toward SiZhui. Hears JingYi giggles at his clumsiness and blushes angrily at the patient gleam in the boy’s gaze when he reaches out at snatches the loquat, being careful not to touch his hand.

A second passes, then two. SiZhui lowers his arm and presses his lips tight.

“Let’s keep going and be careful, we are almost home” he advices, and goes back to JingYi’s side. The boy, though, keeps his gaze on Jin Ling’s grumpy expression, a tactful glance from SiZhui warning him from saying anything rude or too nosey. He rolls his eyes and looks over at the Lanling Young Master -Jin Ling notices.

“What?” he bursts out, all his muscles tensing and quaking in shame under their bewildered expressions.

“I didn’t even say anything!” JingYi protests before SiZhui can hold him back.

Jin Ling, “Then why were you looking at me like that?”

Lan JingYi, “Like that? Like what?!”

“JingYi…” SiZhui admonishes, putting a hand on his shoulder. JingYi relaxes slightly, but a frown still mars his features.

Jin Ling clenches his fists and diverts his gaze elsewhere, walking forward and moving past the two of them, slowly abandoning their hunting field.

He hears JingYi complain about something, but his whining is cut short -probably thanks to SiZhui. Jin Ling bites his lips until the physical pain he feels is stronger than the black hole in his stomach and the confusion in his mind -until it is louder than the worried whispers behind his back and the shuddering questions burning into his veins.

—

JingYi is staring at him.

He tries to not react, to make it seem as if he has not noticed yet -though how can he, when he is sitting exactly in front of him, back at him, JingYi’s gaze piercing it as if he was attempting to set Jin Ling’s robe aflame.

Lan WangJi has probably noticed as well and decided to not say anything, to just keep going with his lesson. As long as no one interrupts him or distracts the other disciples, there was no true need to assign punishment.

Jin Ling knows he has to endure it.

He also knows he has no explanation to give him.

It’s not like he is not aware that he is behaving strangely -it feels stupid in his eyes, too. The truth is, every little thing the Lan boys do irritates him.

How they don’t need to talk to understand each other, and appear to use common speech only when they want to relate something to him. How perfectly they fit one other while night-hunting -how beautiful they are while doing so, Jin Ling bitterly adds.

He has always noticed these little things but then, then they had to invite him to Cloud Recesses to study with him for a bit and his uncle had to accept their offer, because do you have a good enough reason to refuse the Lan’s kind offer, Jin Ling?

As a matter of fact, he does not -and that’s what makes thing worse. How can he explain to his uncle something he can’t fully grasp himself?

And then he had to see them silently sneak away after dinner the first day, JingYi holding SiZhui’s hand tightly and the other smirking at him while they made their way between the trees, in a more secluded area.

He didn’t know what possessed him to follow them -what made him keep quiet when he saw them whispering with such comfort, smile with such confidence, kiss with such ease it was clearly not the first time for them.

Jin Ling felt quite flustered and confused -but more than that, he had no explanation for how strongly he had reacted to that. The way his chest had tightened slightly, something similar to envy weighing down on him, similar but not identical -he knows it wasn’t simple like that, he was accustomed to envy and could easily recognise it, though not accept it. The way he had been unable to tear his gaze away, shamefully following the path drawn by SiZhui’s fingers on JingYi’s side when he gently coddled him against a tree, the boy softly moaning his name and smiling lovely while his neck got peppered his little kisses.

The way his body had responded to that -and how he fled the scene so quickly, he got reprimanded with a no running in Cloud Recesses by a laughing Wei WuXian, among all.

Accepting to go night-hunting with them weeks later had been more a flustered mistake than a heartfelt agreement. He had bitterly watched them triumph as the perfect team over and over again, too focused on chasing that strange envy away to register how little he had participated -and how that had baffled the Lan boys.

Jin Ling keeps his eyes on Lan WangJi and tries to ignore everything else, but he cannot run from his own thoughts and feelings much longer.

—

“Release me!”

“Not gonna happen”

“JingYi, maybe you should consider-”

“I won’t consider a damn thing! I’ve had enough!”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Release me this instant-”

“There” JingYi says, with a note of finality in his voice, and Jin Ling stumbles backward, back hitting a rock wall. He is breathing hard, not from actual exertion but rage and dread, sweaty hands clamping behind him.

“Are you insane-” he starts, but the other stops him almost immediately.

“Shut up, whiny mistress! You either are like this or ignore us, I’m going insane!”

“JingYi, we won’t resolve a thing like this!” SiZhi tries to interfere, planting himself between the two. Jin Ling can’t see his face, but JingYi puffs his cheeks and lowers his eyelids, diverting his gaze. Turns it back on them a moment later, arms tensing on his sides.

“We have handled this as you wanted and it didn’t work, now we are gonna do it my way” he retorts, eyes burning in determination.

SiZhui sighs, bites his lip, shakes his head and looks down.

“Alright” he complies. His eyes focus on Jin Ling and the boy feels like he should take a step back -he can’t, the rock wall threateningly solid against his back.

He swallows, unable to old their gaze.

Jin Ling, “What’s wrong with you two? Why did you bring me here?!”

“Young Master-”

(Jin Ling starts clenching his fists at the formality in his tone)

Lan JingYi, “You’ve been avoiding us, don’t deny it!”

The Lanling boy lifts his chin, irises jumping between the two Lan disciples.

Jin Ling, “What are you talking about?! Did you eat too much bland congee and it finally went to your head?!” he says, the frenetic rhythm of his heartbeat making him all the more flustered. Why are they looking at me like that?

Lan SiZhui elbows JingYi on his side, receiving a dirty look. The boy ignores him, taking a deep breath.

“Jin Ling” he calls, clear and light and warm, before moving a bit and taking his hand.

Jin Ling’s eyes widen, his heart trembling in his chest and the rest of him going dead still. His lips part, but nothing comes out, and he grips his robe with his free fingers.

“I’m sorry if we scared you. We just… we wanted to know if we did something wrong, because it really feels like you’ve been avoiding us” he murmurs, trying to keep his tone reassuring and diplomatic -not suspecting how that gentleness and his closeness is killing every ability of functioning like a normal human being Jin Ling owns.

He opens his mouth again, wanting nothing more than to deny it again and run away, but JingYi’s eyes are pleadingly and anxiously staring at him, and Sizhui’s fingers are still holding his.

He quivers.

Jin Ling, “Why do you care?”

Not another word.

Lan JingYi, “What does that mean? We are your friends-”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be your friend! I wouldn’t want to intrude between you two or anything!”

Don’t say it, it’ll make you look weird, you’ll be the strange one all over again and they won’t want to have you with them.

Lan SiZhui frowns, pulling him toward him by the hand, but Jin Ling notices the understanding flashing quickly in JingYi’s irises.

You’ll be cast aside again.

Lan SiZhui, “Why would you? We invited you here!”

Jin Ling, “So that I could work as a disguise, cover for you? Do you think I am an idiot?!”

Why can’t you be less strange?

Lan JingYi, “It makes no sense! You made your head think too much, we actually-”

Jin Ling flashes a ireful look at him.

“I don’t care! If you wanna kiss or whatever, do it when I’m not here!”

He clumps his mouth shut. Dread slowly fills his veins, closing his throat with a knot, and he suddenly feels dizzy from talking too much. And he did -he said too much.

He frees his hand from SiZhui’s grasp and moves, feeling ashamed, so ashamed, what he had told himself was envy melting away and revealing itself for what it actually is -longing, fierce and overwhelming, enough to justify the wetness in his eyes.

Jin Ling freezes and JingYi snaps, seizing his arm.

“Are you-”

“Jealous?” the Lanling boy interrupts, abruptly prying his arm away once more and turning to face them. “Of you two spending so much time together alone, thinking I’m not aware of your- your- whatever it is?! Yes, I am! It angers me so much and I don’t know why! I shouldn’t even care, it’s your business! Yet here I am, yelling at you because you keep being all polite to me and treating me like an outsider but- but-”

Jin Ling can’t bring himself to say the rest, a reason swiftly climbs back into his head -making him realise that he did, indeed, said all those things.

They are going to hate him, of course. How could anyone-

JingYi, “You are the most idiotic mistress I’ve ever met”

Jin Ling tries to counteract that -he is ready, the next insult hesitating on the tip of his tongue-

but JingYi cages his cheeks with his palms and brings him closer, not giving him time to think or even oppose him.

Kisses him with vicious intensity and burning determination, lips pulsing on Jin Ling’s, whose hands fly on his shoulder to fight back a fainting spell.

JingYi’s mouth is rough but slow, caring but raging, and he almost -almost lets himself go, shock dominating every fiber of his being-

-he pushes him away, and JingYi lets him be. Jin Ling’s eyes stops on Lan SiZhui, terrified of his reaction, but the older boy -cheeks aflame, lips parted, breathe eluding a natural rhythm- doesn’t show him what he feared. His irises are sparkling, wild with something that scares Jin Ling more than anger itself.

“Y-you- he-”

Jin Ling is confused, but JingYi’s arm wrapping around his waist, his signature grin on his face, and SiZhui moving toward them with shy but relieved steps, gives him the reassurance he didn’t know he needed.

“We both want you” JingYi whispers in his ears, and Jin Ling shivers and blushes desperately, outraged and on fire.

“So, if you want us both…” SiZhui tentatively tries, going for Jin Ling’s hand again.

He doesn’t let go -squeezes it with all the strength he could muster in that moment, which isn’t much, and gathers all the courage he owns to reach out for SiZhui nape and bring him closer, clumsily kissing him before he can think that’s a bad idea.

JingYi tightens his hold and SiZhui hugs him with his unoccupied arm, tilting his head up with his lips and nuzzling Jin Ling’s tenderly, then drawing back.

They all smile and Jin Ling can’t bear it anymore -he looks down, away, face burning and lungs constricting in a kind of pain he already loves, and they are still here, still keeping him close, no more walls made of formality or misunderstandings to divide them and no one to intrude or witness, for this moment is theirs and theirs only.

#13reasonstoeatthatcake #ask #zhuilingyi #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the founder of diabolism #the founder of evil magic #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #my mdsz writing #my writing

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