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#why would it make sense for any of them to have weakening resolves when it comes to the person they're falling in love with
masonscig · 1 year
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okay. genuine question. how does this ask make sense. i am being so serious right now. narratively how does this make sense at the point we’re at
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ackerifle · 5 months
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I personally see yan!Levi being like he is in the show, keeping his emotions in control, being focused and having the whole no-nonsense attitude. While being just a tad bit too overprotective. I doubt he'd ever harm reader if he's caught feelings for them or force himself on them. (just my opinion and personal preference!) But it makes me curious to see how he would genuinely struggle with his feelings, being self-aware of how too much he feels for reader while also being quite dense in a way. Seeing him deteriorate as he's trying to keep up with how he usually is with everyone else. While you see things from his POV, his psychology. And how the absence of any form of intimacy and probably not thinking he needs it affects him. I've read all that you've written and really like your writing and wondered what your take on this would be? a scenario or headcanons, Can be sfw and/or nsfw!
dramatis personae!
yan. levi ackerman x fem. reader
+ CW. — headcanon’s: internal morality conflict, stalking, possessive and manipulative behavior, slight intimidation, implied: forced relationship & eventual mind break; i fear the structure worsens as it continues; not proof-read.
first and foremost, you flatter me, i am delighted to hear that you’ve taken a liking to my writing, and your patience in waiting is well appreciated. this particular ask near reminds me that it is long overdue for me to create a work that is written exclusively in levi’s perspective, or rather, one that happens to centre around his general frame of mind as a yandere.
levi is no fool, love comes easy to the forlorn who have never had a taste of it. and when it comes to you? he knows it’s love, he knows it right away. but these feelings are so… intense, so peculiar, so persistent, so passionate, and so not normal. levi’s struggle with morality is a burden that rivals the responsibility of being humanity’s strongest soldier, truly. and although levi does his utmost to justify his unusual behaviors and progressively concerning actions, he simply can’t. you’re quite unfortunate yourself, to have a man such as levi absolutely and utterly enamored with you, and he wholly acknowledges it. but who is to pay the price, if not you? initially, levi’s solution to suppressing the severity of his feelings, if not the feelings altogether, is distance. but this proves only temporary as absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it isn’t long before he gives up because why would he deprive himself of happiness after just finally attaining it?
it’s almost too much, really. levi feels quite a lot, but most of all, he feels guilty— just not guilty enough to stop. and as time passes, his resolve inevitably weakens, and it becomes easier to rationalize what he does, even if levi is astutely aware deep down that acting upon his own selfish desires will always be wrong, at least with the way he’s going about it. it isn’t entirely justice, per se, but levi does happen to have a strong sense of righteousness, of rectitude, of common decency. human life holds great significance to him, but so does the quality of said life; he wants you to feel everything and anything but suffering by being with him. but there will come a point where i believe that he stops caring altogether. that levi’s erstwhile efforts of concealing his sincere intentions and ardent sentiments would waver in due time, but this would be late into his life, likely after the battle of heaven and earth when you’re even more emotionally eroded than he is.
it starts off small, considering that he is fairly unsuspecting as a yandere, and quite little would change about his mannerisms, at least until you’ve noticed too little too late. levi wants your relationship, romantic or not, to develop as organically as possible so he can get over the fact that it is quite literally anything but. not when he already knows everything he needs to know about you. levi is observant and watchful as is, but he also happens to have a plethora of resources at his fingertips; such as your legal documents, military papers, and medical records. furthermore, it would only take one little harmless white lie to attain more… personal information: family history, biographies, or even reports written by none other than yourself, ones that had been published decades ago, that is.
and while i don’t particularly envision levi as the obsessive, nor delusional, type (as much as i find him to be the possessive type), it may simply pass his mind that this isn’t insanely weird. only until levi finally reels himself in — with rare restraint that levi is usually well renowned for having, even in comparison to his most reticent peers — and he realizes that he’s violated your entire right to privacy, unbeknownst to you. it eventually registers in that lucid state of consciousness of his that he’s going out of his way to do this on his own personal accord, that it is taking time out of his work schedule, and that he cannot accredit this to assisting the survey corps in literally any way. when it settles, he’s honestly mortified. and the worst of it all? you’ve probably only interacted a grand total of two times, three if we’re being generous.
the feeling of levi’s presence is hard to miss, let it be from across the dining hall, or in close quarters, both of which levi will ensure that you become mindlessly accustomed to overtime. as aforementioned, levi is adamant about this bond forming naturally so as to prevent himself from digging a deeper hole than he already has, so the introduction of his company in day to day life will be the first steps in making himself known to you. of course, you already know him, all of the soldiers do, but you’ll find that he is just everywhere, and in particular, everywhere that you are. there is no shortage of his lingering presence; you see him often, more often than someone of your rank should. and it gets to be awfully concerning when your recurrent rendezvous with the man take a gradual turn from fortuitous close-shoulder proximity in the mandatory meetings, to levi cornering you in the furthest and deserted hallways of the headquarters to ask the most obscure and obscene questions that only someone maintaining close relations to you would know.
this is levi’s (not-so) subtle way of letting you know that he has taken an interest in you, even if you are likely to perceive it as him being a hardass that has spontaneously discovered that he fancies finding fault with and denigrating your performance in the corps. levi is a busy man, but never too busy to miss visiting you in one way or another; and although he prefers to demonstrate acts of service to indicate his affections for you, you two aren’t exactly close enough for that, yet. ironically, levi may find that doing anything for you is a little too forward, it is blatant favoritism at worst, and a telltale sign of his relentless loyalty at best; but his definition of forward is very different considering it wasn’t all that forward when he decided to hold you hostage in his office to do menial tasks simply because he wanted you there. and it isn’t that levi is intentionally acting with such amateur impromptu (although granted, not like he has had much experience to begin with), it’s rather him just being careful. levi has no issue when it comes to being straightforward, but this… this is surely quite different.
you may come to the conclusion that his sudden, awkwardly formal yet somehow equally as intimate interactions with you — given no prior history with one another, not even as fellow soldiers — is because he is too embarrassed to outright admit what he wants; which is you. that he is above pursuing whatever this is with another, let alone someone of (presumably) lower status. but levi isn’t necessarily shy as much as he is hesitant, and ideally, it would be you who initiates. for the same reason he feels beside himself and ashamed, it would ease the guilt if you had wanted him back in the first place, with levi believing that you may need a push in the right direction to do so. but that push is more like a shove… off a cliff, because it doesn’t even so much as cross your mind that these are levi’s questionable ways of romantic advancement, and not him attempting to intimidate you into woefully resigning from the military.
and when levi ascertains that he has to be the one to do something, he will. it wasn’t that levi was apprehensive out of fear, nor daunted by the notion itself (… like have you seen this man’s initiative statistics), it is just that it would have been for the best had you played along in the first place. to placate levi’s longing for something, anything, from you in return to give the illusion that his valiant efforts weren’t all for naught, he may have even been pleased, regardless of the fact he can see right through you. but you don’t, because you aren’t stupid enough to give yourself to him, and now that he’s been so kind as to give you a chance, you won’t be getting it again. he’ll be curt as all hell, terse with his wants, and unabashed about his desires; but it isn’t quite what you’re used to.
if i were to describe the connection you hold with yandere levi, it would actually be intimate. perhaps not in the traditional sense: physical, emotional, or other, but in the way that levi feels safe, something he hopes you feel with him as well. that he is free to express the innermost dark and delicate thoughts of his subconscious and as himself as humanity's strongest and levi ackerman— to you, as his confidant, as his comrade, and as his lover. real, genuine and authentic intimacy is something that levi has never had the fortune of experiencing. but once he has, he can’t get enough. let it be known that i feel that levi wouldn’t refer to you with typical terms of endearment, as they still remain rather foreign and ambiguous to him, but also because words alone don’t even come close to expressing the extremity of his feelings. he can just show you, if you let him.
levi may be a man who sustains exceptional self-awareness, however, he is a bit thick-headed when it comes to why he loves this way. it is… depraved to say the least, and while he fully understands that the process of falling and being in love is only natural, which he has reluctantly come to terms with now given his current situation, he just can’t place a finger as to why it has to be this way. his behaviors are susceptible to going unnoticed for an alarming amount of time by those around him, even the veteran soldiers who have come to know him for years; save for erwin who is far too sharp and perceptively nosy for his own good, and hange who is pertinaciously attentive as ever. it matters not in the end, as levi won’t be taking advice from them anyway. as exhausting as it may be to varnish over and conceal his deranged approach to love in the eyes of the public, there are only a handful of people that he owes such pleasantries to; and should a cadet have the gall to address him, levi will see to it that there will be no repetition of such daft inquiries following in their footsteps. but he prides himself in the fact that he is greatly disciplined, his self-restraint and intellectual control are unmatched, and it is a blessing that levi can regulate his emotions with the stability that he does, because by god, you would never know peace otherwise.
only partially have i discussed the manipulative potential that levi has (and already possesses) but not as detailed, nor thorough, as i am about to now. this man will drive you up a fucking wall. you can kick and scream, yell until your voice goes hoarse and berate levi to your heart's content, but he won’t budge. you’ll only be met with a blank stare. and it’s honestly terrifying, you’ll find that some reaction, any reaction; angry, sad, hurt, and what have you, is better than nothing at all. the silence after is what kills you, and it does well to remind you of where you stand. he won’t give you the reaction you so desperately wish to see to soothe the nerves that flare when levi goes dead quiet. but he has no reason to paint himself in any bad light, levi has done nothing but good for you, and this is how he is reimbursed?
levi can cope with a darling that detests him, it most certainly will get under his skin, but he’ll live. specifically because he knows that you never asked to be put in a position that you were, one where there is no way out. because levi knows that if what was left of humanity had fallen, obliterated and defeated by the titans as everyone had once feared, you would leave him without a second thought or even sparing a farewell. and as understanding as he is of the unfortunate circumstances (for you) and the wonderful situation (for him), there is no ounce of empathy or pity that could ever topple levi’s hunger to have you. but he is possessive through and through. your love is irreplaceable, priceless even, but it is merely a perk to having you.
thus, levi doesn’t fret when it comes to getting you to love him, though that isn’t to say he disregards the endeavor entirely. he is eerily forbearing, with the patience of a saint and all the time in the world, levi is nothing if not restrained. be it a day, a month, a year, thirteen years, levi can wait because your submission is bound to overcome any sort of resistance you have left. you are the prettiest when you cave in, give in, and although almost as pleasant, your love cannot compare to your compliance, to your acceptance. that isn’t to say levi won’t try, he wants you to like him, but he acknowledges that learning to love him as he does you will take more time, and he can wait.
levi is a slow burn yandere to the end, and if you think you can best him in the long game, you have another thing coming. at the height of his infatuation, back to the very beginning, you may have found yourself maddened and infuriated to your wits’ end by his constant presence, but he has always been the one person to take such tender care of you; to the point it would be almost strange if he had so suddenly stopped. and when the battle of heaven and earth had become the last calamity to finally break you, you stop fighting him. you’ve only one another left, and levi is all yours, always has been, always will be, and maybe you’ll accept that you really are his.
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erikaember · 11 months
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Link and the dragon princess, a fairytale AU fanfic (with pictures!)
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(big ol' spoiler warning for Tears of the Kingdom, specifically about the Light Dragon)
Inspired by the retelling made by Overly Sarcastic Productions, this story is based on the Norweigan fairytale, "Prince Lindworm".
Plenty of things are changed to work better with the Zelda universe (and to be more fun to write), but there's still a small warning for a scene that involves steel brushes and fragile skin... but it won't be in crazy detail. Oh, and two guys die, but no crazy detail there either.
...and of course, because I'm an artist and can't help it, I made some refined sketches to make this post a bit more interesting. :D
Let's go!
Once upon a time, there was a benevolent king and queen of Hyrule. They had great friendships with the tribes living at the corners of the kingdom, their people safe and happy in their care. But sadly, the king and queen suffered from an unfortunate predicament. They were unable to have children. The queen desperately desired a child to raise with love and care, and the king needed an heir to secure the future of the kingdom. Sadly, no doctor or healer in the kingdom could help them.
To spare her court from her moments of depression, the queen would go into the Lost Woods, following the secret path that led to the Korok Forest. There, while no longer a child, she could sense the childish little spirits of the woods laugh and play. While she had spoken to the Great Deku Tree before, he had already given her his wisdom - to not let the despair weaken her, for he believed all would be right in the end.
Then one day, she was praying at the goddess statue inside the Great Deku Tree, when an old woman appeared. Sitting by a small table, drinking some tea, she asked "What weighs your heart so, my queen?"
"It's no use telling you, stranger. No one can help me," the queen sighed.
"Don't say that, you clearly haven't lost all hope yet, my dear," the woman pointed out. "Let me hear your troubles, maybe I can put things right."
The queen sat down by the table. "My husband and I so desperately want a child, but I can not conceive. That is why I come here, this place gives me a sense of peace" she explained to the old woman.
"Such a long way for a queen to travel every time her heart is heavy… this we shall resolve," the old woman drank the last of her tea before looking into the queen's eyes, "Listen to me very carefully, my dear. At sunset, you take your favorite teacup to the northwest part of your garden," she lifted her empty tea cup to cover her mouth, "whisper your heart's desire into it, a prayer for a child. Then, turn it and place it down onto the ground, with the bottom facing the twilight sky," she placed down the cup upside down on the table. "In the morning, you will return to the cup and lift it, two roses will have grown under it. If you eat the white rose, you will have a daughter. If you eat the red rose, you will have a son. But whatever you do, you must not eat both of the roses - that is my one warning, remember it."
"Thank you, wise one. I shall do that," the queen thanked. "Is there any way I can repay you for your aid?"
The old woman waved her hand dismissively, "Oh no, my queen. Just heed my warning, and I'll be at peace knowing I helped set things right."
Despite spending so much time in the Korok Forest, the queen was skeptical of the old woman's instructions. She had witnessed more unusual things as a child, and yet this felt silly. Still, she did as she was told. With her favorite tea cup, she waited for the sunset, whispered into the cup a prayer for a child, and let it rest upside down in the northwest corner of her garden.
The next morning, she was shocked to find the two roses under the cup and was faced with the difficult choice between the two. With her disbelief in the old woman's words, her memory faltered and she was unsure of what to do next. Finally, she settled on eating the white rose. To her surprise, it tasted incredible and she couldn't resist eating the red one too. But then it echoed in her head, the words of the old woman, "But whatever you do, you must not eat both of the roses - that is my one warning, remember it."
It pained her to have failed the old woman, shame preventing her from returning to the forest and asking for help. So she silently carried the guilt, accepting whatever fate she would face.
Nine months later, the queen was to give birth. In a brief moment when the midwives weren't looking, the queen felt herself give birth to something, but it was no Hylian child. To her horror, she saw a long, slender, and pale miniature dragon slither from under the covers by her abdomen. Not saying a word to the midwives, she watched as her bizarre offspring slithered up to hide under her pillow. Understanding that this was the consequence of her failure, she allowed the dragon to rest there as she gave birth to the dragon's twin, a beautiful baby girl.
When eventually left alone, holding her baby girl, the queen found the dragon and whispered to it, "It is my fault you have come to us in this form, I beg of you to forgive me. I fear my people may never accept you, but I shall keep you safe, for you are my child."
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Years went by, the baby girl grew up to become a beautiful princess, and her name was Hilda. Her hair as dark as the night, her eyes as red and lovely as a rose. She was quite intelligent and dedicated to her duties, as benevolent as her mother and father.
When Princess Hilda reached the age of 17, she was old enough to marry and chose to travel Hyrule in order to see more of her kingdom and possibly find good suitors. However, before she could leave Hyrule Field, a dragon blocked her path. The dragon had white and gold scales, a golden mane, horns and spikes shimmering green and blue - a majestic creature but somewhat smaller than the ones she knew from legend.
"Older sisters marry first," the dragon spoke.
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Confused, Hilda and her guards chose to take a different path, but at each bridge crossing Hylia River, the dragon blocked their path with the same words. The princess was forced to retreat to the castle.
With no choice but to confess the truth, the queen explained. The dragon was Hilda's older twin sister, Zelda, whom the queen had raised in secret. It seemed that Zelda had grown tired of her solitude and chose to do what her mother still did not dare, revealing herself and demanding her traditional right to find a husband before her younger sister. Although the queen warned Hilda and the king, Zelda had not been herself for years. The once spry and happy little dragon was experiencing moments where she would not respond to her name, grow angry, and then lose the memory of ever acting that way, almost as if her dragon nature was taking hold of her. The queen warned Zelda may be dangerous if things did not work out well.
While shocked at the revelation, Hilda did not hesitate to accept her sister's demands and started discussing the matter with the court. She arranged for chambers to be built, big enough to house her sister. Then, she worked on finding suitors. To avoid breaking the alliances her parents had worked so hard to build, Princess Hilda was very upfront with the tribes, revealing the true nature of her older sister. While many were concerned about the story of the dragon princess, there were a few brave souls who arrived at the castle with interest.
The first to arrive was a Zora who had seen dragons as a child, loving every memory he had of them. With him so fascinated by the dragon princess and seemingly getting along with her, the royal family approved and the two were wed.
But on the wedding night, the young Zora man learned that the princess was not happy with the arrangement and would pace around the room. He tried to make the best of it, requesting her to speak her mind. She remained silent, like a growling grumpy beast. He grew impatient and started lecturing her for not being a proper lady with manners, but alas, he quickly learned arguing with a dragon the size of a long hallway was not a good idea, her tail slamming into him with enough force to crush him.
Despite the agreement being fulfilled, the now widowed princess was again demanding a groom. While it was already unusual to see a dragon, many felt it strange to have a dragon be so demanding. Just like the queen claimed, the princess' mind was in a dark place, it seemed.
Having learned of the terrible fate of his daughter's zora husband, the king declared that they needed someone more familiar with dangerous creatures; they needed a warrior. Sending word out to all the tribes, a group of warriors stepped forth as potential suitors, among them being a Rito warrior.
The young Rito man was also fascinated by the unusual princess. But more than anything, he was proud of his skills and thoroughly enjoyed the idea of him taming the beast. Despite the queen and Hilda's words of caution, pointing out that the arrangement did not take Zelda's heart into consideration, the king approved it and the rito warrior soon wed the dragon. But just like the queen and the princess had suspected, the rito warrior only made her sister more angry and the second marriage was more brief than the first.
Tension started rising in the castle and the kingdom. With the dragon losing her mind and growing angrier, the court grew anxious as they had no idea how to prevent the princess from becoming a mindless threat to the kingdom. Hilda tried her best to comfort her mother who was stricken by guilt more than ever before, her mistake leading to the death of two, and her cursed daughter miserable and withering away.
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Then one day, the queen was being comforted by Hilda, her appointed knight accompanying her. The queen wept, her heart heavy with guilt and worry. She had returned from the Korok Forest in a desperate attempt to seek the old lady and beg for a way to save her child, but alas, she could no longer even sense the spirits.
"Oh mother," Hilda held her, "stay strong, we shall find a way to resolve this."
"How? How can anyone set this right? The old lady is hiding from me. None of the sages, wielders of magic, or scholars can even suggest a way to buy her more time. She is doomed to wither away in misery."
"I will not give up hope, mother. I know there simply must be something we can do…" Glancing up at her appointed knight, a man she had known for years and trusted with her life, she turned to her mother again. "Father has decided, and I have accepted, that my swordsman, Link, shall be the next groom."
Looking up at the swordsman, the queen felt more sorrow. He was a young boy from a long line of loyal knights, a stoic and quiet soldier with a heart that was good and true - he did not deserve such a terrible fate. "Your knight… has he accepted it?"
"Yes, mother," Hilda assured, glancing at him as he nodded, "we have discussed the matter. He knows the situation better than any other suitor. And I know him well enough to bet he'll make her happy - like he has made me happy." She smiled at the memories, of how her knight would silently carry out his duties with honor, but also kindness. Early on in their companionship, she had a difficult time handling stress and would throw fits of rage, and he'd be there, patiently helping her regain her grace. A valuable skill for an appointed knight - and for a husband.
Letting it sink in, the queen accepted their decision, "I admire your courage, young one, and I pray for your safety."
But before it was officially decided, the queen requested they speak with Zelda about it. Entering her chambers, the queen spoke softly with her daughter.
"My dear Zelda, how are you feeling about our efforts to find you a husband?"
With a low growl, the princess paced around the room, her steps like a thunderstorm, "…hopeless… how could anyone want a monster for a bride?"
"Fate has not been kind to you," the queen sighed, "but this is a challenge we face together. And I tell you, all hope is not lost. We have a new suitor for you, one you have met before. He is loyal to the family, and his heart is good and true. He is one of your sister's loyal guards, Link."
"Another warrior sent by father?" she scoffed with disgust.
The queen shook her head, "No, my dear, I'd never let another man like that even touch you. Deep beneath those scales lies a person with a heart deserving of love and protection… and I believe this man will be good company for you."
With a pause, she turned to the door, seeing his sister peek through, "…tell him to enter."
With a deep breath, Link entered and locked eyes with the princess. Stepping forth, he held himself like he usually did, proudly yet friendly. He did not even flinch as the dragon leaned forward, her bulging eyes looking at him, judging him, narrowing in suspicion.
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He was much shorter than the potential suitors she had previously seen, and she had yet to hear his voice. But something, akin to an animalistic instinct, had her intrigued at the idea of him being her new husband - or rather, her new victim. But the memory of her two dead husbands caused her to suddenly reject the terrifying mindset. It caused her vision to get a bit fuzzy, her balance faltering for a moment.
"Zelda?" the queen worriedly took a step towards her daughter, but in this moment of weakness, the dragon hissed at her mother before stumbling back and falling down to rest on the floor.
Her eyes closed as she waited out the pain, the princess could sense footsteps and felt a presence by the side of her head. Cracking an eye open, she saw the swordsman looking worriedly at her, kneeling down to check on her. With her pain and fuzzy senses, she could barely make out his words.
"Are you alright, princess?"
With no strength to respond, she simply tried turning away from him. How could he possibly want to marry someone who'd be such a bother, she thought to herself. Her ear twitched slightly at an itch that emerged behind it, but she dared not reach for it with her claws for fear of the pain. To her surprise, she felt the swordsman slowly reach up and scratch it for her. No one but her mother had dared to touch her like that before. It puzzled the princess, but the relief was enough to ignore the urge to snap at him for having the audacity to touch her without permission.
The queen and Princess Hilda both watched with a mix of shock and joy. Link continued to scratch behind the dragon's ear, her pain slowly withering away. Finally, the princess opened her eyes again, seeing the swordsman leaning his head to the side, kindly waiting for her to give him a sign of what she would do next.
Looking at him, she felt her heart warm up and her eyes pained by tears. He dared to stay so close to her. What will cause her to hate him? Is he pitying her? She doesn't need someone to pity her or treat her like a misunderstood puppy who merely needed some scratching behind her ear. She did not want to hate or even disrespect a man her kind sister trusted so. Perhaps she could give him a chance, for her sister's sake.
If she wanted to find love before losing herself, this could be as good an arrangement as any.
Getting up, she noticed Link giving her some space but kept his eyes on her, only stepping back as much as he needed to. His courage did not falter. "…fine," the princess sighed, "I accept… the proposal." Studying his eyes as she said that, she couldn't tell if he had any reaction. Nothing in his expression changed. It worried her slightly, that she couldn't tell what he was thinking. But it was done, she had accepted.
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The wedding would be held after one week, and Link wasted no time. Much like the queen, he had spent time in the Korok Forest as a child and had met the old woman before. For him, she appeared - and to her, he opened up about his fear.
"Lady of the forest, I am to wed the dragon princess. But the queen believes Zelda will wither away within the year and live on as a mindless dragon. I wish there was a way I could help, and be a good husband to the princess, even if she only has a year left - that is if I survive the wedding night."
"Fear not, young man," the old woman assured, "just listen carefully to my instructions, and all shall be right."
The day of the wedding arrives. The young Hylian knight had requested a few things be brought to the princess' chambers. A tub of lye, a tub of milk, a bucket, a bunch of steel brushes, and one soft bath brush. While it was confusing for the castle staff, they didn't question it, it already being extremely odd to be serving a dragon.
At the ceremony, Link stood by the altar, waiting for his bride. Dressed in his finest garbs, he stood out from the first two grooms, a beautiful sword strapped to his waist. To the queen, it was a suspiciously familiar blade.
As the dragon princess entered the hall, she locked eyes with her new groom and noticed the sword. She growled, seeing the weapon as a grave insult. However, she seemed to calm down a bit as she got a closer look at him, his eyes not showing any sign of hostility - quite the opposite. He seemed nervous, but not like he'd run away, and it showed why when it was time for the vows. To everyone's great shock, he did not speak a poem about dragons or some promise to tame her - he drew his sword.
Everyone gasped and the dragon lowered her head with another growl, but it got very silent as the groom turned to face the bride and got down on a knee, holding the sword upright in front of him, his eyes never leaving hers. With the hall so quiet, everyone could hear how he with a somewhat low voice made the traditional vow a knight would give to his bride.
"With this sword, I swear to protect you from the evils of the earth and sky. Come sleet or thunder, drought or blood moon, I swear to stand by your side and never falter. Shall metal break or melt, my life will be your sword and shield until the end of my days."
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It was a beautiful vow from ancient tradition, and the bride had her own version of the vow to say as she placed her hand on the hilt of his sword as he held it. But under the circumstances, the bride not aware of this ancient vow or in the mood to say one, Link got up and put away the sword. His eyes still on hers, he could see her expression soften and he smiled faintly, relieved to see her accept the vow.
Leaning to Hilda, the queen asked "His sword… is that not the blade of evil's bane?"
"It is," Hilda confirmed, having heard from Link everything that happened in the forest, including his plan to survive the night, "the old woman of the forest said it was crucial to his survival - but not to worry, mother, he will not use it to hurt her."
The ceremony reached its end, Zelda leaned her head down to receive a kiss on the bridge of her nose from her new husband. Despite the worry for the new husband, and this being the third royal wedding that month, the crowd cheered.
At the grand feast, Hilda noticed that Link was eating a bit more than usual. She always knew him to be a bit of a glutton, and there was no shame in enjoying his wedding meal, but she knew there was another reason for him to stock up on energy.
The wedding night arrived and the newlyweds made their way to the chamber. While quite nervous about what he was about to do, Link kept his stoic expression and went over to where the servants had left the items he had requested, checking so everything was there.
Watching him as she slithered around the room, the princess tried to figure out what he was planning. The lye, the milk, the brushes - what could he possibly be planning? Again seeing the sword, strapped to his hip, she let out a low growl. Why did he bring it to the chambers?
"Be rid of the sword, husband."
With a deep breath, he turned to face her, "Be rid of your own weapons, wife."
Surprised at his demand, she puffed "no one has dared to ask me that before."
"I'm asking you now. As a show of trust and good faith," he tossed the sheathed sword to the floor by the tubs of lye and milk.
Hesitant, but she obliged, her teeth retracted into her gums, claws and horns emitting a bright glow before turning to dust. But as it took plenty of energy to do so, her mind faltered and an evil nature achieved a tighter grip, her eyes narrowing with nefarious intent.
An even lower growl accompanied her next demand, "…lose the armor, husband."
Still, Link remained calm, "shed your own armor, wife."
Even with an evil mind, it was a dragon's nature to be honorable. She obliged his request, her vulnerable skin exposed as her spikes and scales fell to the floor, one by one. And while it occurred, Link removed his uniform until he was down to his undershirt and trousers.
The once grand and intimidating dragon now laid at his feet, writhing in pain at the cold touch of the floor against her bare skin, nothing left but the mane and fur to protect her head. Although she was exhausted, her pained expression barely covered the vile desire to devour him; to taste his blood. This was when he had to act, no matter how painful it would be for either of them.
Before she could arm herself with her teeth, he grabbed the bucket and filled it with lye, throwing the ash-filled water on her bare skin. Having minor open wounds where her scales once were, she hissed with pain, but it was nothing compared to what he had to do next. Soaking a steel brush with lye, he started scrubbing her. She shrieked in pain, too weak to reach him with her feet and push him away. Weak as she was, she could only curl up and scream as he scrubbed her skin red and sore with the lye and steel brush.
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The shriek was loud enough to echo across the entire castle, everyone shocked to hear the dragon in pain. The queen, ever so worried, rushed down the halls to her daughter's chamber, but Princess Hilda stopped her. The queen begged and pleaded for the soldiers stationed by the big doors to stop whatever was happening to her daughter, but Hilda urged her mother, "Failure to follow the old lady's instructions led to this. Do not let the same mistake happen again, mother, or we might lose Zelda. Trust Link and the old lady to set things right."
As horrible as it was to hear her cursed daughter's pained scream, the queen allowed herself to be escorted away, far away enough to be unable to hear even the faintest echo of Zelda's shrills of agony.
Hours passed, the screams growing weaker as Zelda's senses faded. Despite his exhaustion, Link persisted with his work until all the dragon's exposed skin was brushed till it was crimson red and washed with lye. Finally, with the last of the ash water, he soaked the princess' head, the dragon taking one final breath before it collapsed. The whole head slowly sunk as if it was made of nothing but soaked fur. Then, purple slime started to seep up from under the fur.
Remembering the next step, he leaped for the sword, just in time to parry a strike from a miniature phantom dragon. The tiny dark beast quick in the air, glowing purple and red like a creature of malice.
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With the legendary blade glowing bright and his feet faster than the phantom, he struck the dragon until it shrieked in agony, dissolving into dark smoke, which was sucked into the blade. The being that would use the princess' draconification for evil intent was now sealed away.
With the fight over, he returned to where the remains of the dragon's head were. Beneath the pile, he could make out a figure that briefly glowed a golden hue.
Pulling away the mane, he eventually found pale skin. Soon thereafter, he exposed the naked body of a girl with long hair as golden as the dragon's mane. His arms were shaking, his hands sore and covered with small cuts from the long hours of using the steel brushes. And yet, he reached under her form and pulled her out of her old skin, the adrenaline from the battle giving him the extra strength he needed. Holding her close to his chest, his undershirt soaked with sweat and lye, he carried her to the tub of milk.
With the soft bath brush soaked with milk, he scrubbed her clean from the fur that had stuck to her skin. Her pained screams still echoing in his head, he scrubbed ever so lightly in fear of causing her any more pain. As he worked, he couldn't help but admire her beauty.
The old woman had not mentioned that Zelda would become a Hylian, merely describing this part as "what's left of her", which honestly had him terrified of what he'd find. The more he thought about it, the more he understood that it was a test of faith. If he knew this would happen, he knew it would be worth it in the end. His faith in the old lady's words rewarded him with a wife who'd no longer wither away inside a beast.
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When he was done, it was time for the final step. Strapping the sword back on his hip, he then proceeded to lift Zelda out of the bath, carefully stepping over the remains of her dragon form to finally reach the bed in a tucked-away corner of the large chamber. Despite the fact that his bride had been a dragon who could barely fit in that bed, it was tradition to prepare the finest silk and softest pillows for the newly wedded royal couple. Laying her down on the king-sized bed, he wrapped her up. Then, with the sword still in the sheath, he removed it from his hip and held it close as he climbed up to lie next to her. While it was uncomfortable, he kept the sword close, as he wrapped his arms around his wife.
That was right, he realized as the final step was complete - he was holding Princess Zelda, his wife. As he felt exhaustion pulling on his eyelids, he started thinking about how he didn't really know the real her since she was hidden away most of her life, trapped in a dragon form that slowly took over her mind. While there certainly was the fear of him finding himself in an unhappy marriage, he couldn't help but be excited about knowing what kind of person she'd be now that she was finally free to be herself. Whatever happened, he'd keep his promise and be there for her, like the honorable knight he was. And right now, she was safe, sleeping peacefully in his arms. He was free to rest.
Not long after the young swordsman fell asleep, dawn began to break. And just when the sun had risen over the horizon, castle staff prepared for their morning duties. The guards who had guarded Zelda's chambers for the night hadn't dared to peek through the keyhole before their relief arrived alongside some servants. The group of employees began whispering about their worries, and the possibilities of what they would see in the chambers. The night guards, still recovering from the shrill screams of the dragon, explained how it went on for hours on end. And after the noise had died down, they thought they had gone deaf, for they couldn't even hear the creature's presence since. Had she been killed, a few wondered. If she had, as shocking as it was, it made the knight a murderer and a high-priority criminal. Despite the risk, the bravest of the group, a maid, carefully peeked through the keyhole.
The group held their breaths as they waited for the spy to say anything. Suddenly, she gasped and got up to rub her eyes before returning to the keyhole. "By Hylia! I thought he was cuddling up to a piece of her mane, but that's… that's a woman! The floor is littered with scales and fur!" the maid tried her best to keep her voice low but loud enough for the others to hear, "…if only they could do another magic trick and save us the trouble of cleaning it all up…"
After the news reached the royal family, Hilda peeked into the chambers to confirm and she shed a tear at the sight of her sister, alive and sound asleep. She went on to make sure the couple wouldn't be disturbed until they awakened, their night being famously draining.
It wasn't until that afternoon that Link awakened from his slumber. No longer needing the sword to be kept close, he carefully reached to slowly drop it down the side of the bed. But that movement was enough to awaken the petite figure of the former dragon. Casting his eyes back on the face of the one he shared the bed with, he saw how she clawed at the bed sheets, stretching and yawning. As her eyes opened, he awed at the lovely green of her iris, completely unlike the piercing, iridescent eyes she previously possessed.
Her vision blurry, it took a while for the princess to tell the figure before her was the swordsman she married the day before. His hair, which was so tidy and kept in a low ponytail during the ceremony, was now a tangled mane. His face and undergarments damp and dirty, he looked like he had survived a storm at sea.
Despite his appearance, he greeted her with a warm smile.
"You look awful…" she playfully commented, too tired for manners, but not too tired to not notice her new voice. With a gasp, she looked down at where her hands rested and studied them, confirming that they were indeed her own hands. Feeling her face, she felt the face of a Hylian. No horns or scales or fur or spikes, just skin that wasn't painfully sensitive.
Sitting up, she wanted to see more, but her sudden movement caused her a splitting headache and Link quickly reached up to help her slowly lay down again.
"I'm… I'm Hylian? …how?" she gasped as she felt the soft pillow under her head again, and turned to her husband. "…I'm not in a dream, right?"
With a light chuckle, he brushed away some hair from her face, then proceeded to explain what had happened. She did not remember much from last night, only the agonizing pain of her skin being scrubbed away and how her scream had echoed for hours on end. With her old form quite literally washed away, she was now who she was meant to be. He also told her about the phantom dragon, which explained the predator-like behavior she possessed at times, which was unlike the dragons of legend - who were creatures of grace.
Having caught glimpses of his hands, she eventually asked to see them. Seeing all the cuts and bruises, she teared up, remembering the part about how he had painstakingly scrubbed her entire form. She had been a huge beast in need of a custom-built chamber, dangerous and with blood on her hands. And yet he had the courage to wash her entire beastly form with steel brushes. For hours, he had to avoid her powerful feet and tail that - while free of scales, spikes, and claws - were still powerful enough to end his life. Not to mention having to listen to her piercing screams all that time.
"…why, Link? Why did you… do this?" she asked as she failed to hold back tears. After all, he saved her life, not actually knowing he would. He persisted with no promise of a good outcome - let alone a reward for his efforts.
With his hands still in hers, he used his fingers to gently rub her palm, he simply replied "…it was the right thing to do."
Looking at their hands, she again thought about what he had endured, "…so close to a dragon screaming in pain for hours on end… I am bewildered how… you can still hear what I am saying."
A moment of silence, then he replied "…huh, could you repeat that?" he leaned closer, a hand behind his ear.
Confused at first, she soon realized it was a joke and started laughing. Her laughter echoed in the chambers, Link joining her after quickly admiring her gleeful expression.
As they calmed down, a knock on the door was heard and a familiar voice asking for permission to enter. It was the king, and he had the queen and Hilda with him. Sitting up in the bed, Link glanced at their surroundings. While the floor was littered with scales and fur, there was a clear path to the door for them. But glancing around the bed, he caught sight of the bare chest of his wife, the blanket resting on her waist as she had sat up. Following his gaze, she caught on and pulled up the blanket, wrapping it tightly around her naked body. It being her first day as a Hylian, it seemed the instincts to cover up hadn't quite awakened yet.
Now somewhat presentable, Link granted permission to the king and watched as the royal family entered the chambers. They rejoiced at the sight of their princess alive and well, no longer being a monstrous beast. The queen was most relieved of all, the weight of her guilt being overpowered by the joy of her little girl not only being safe but also being who she was meant to be.
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Knowing her sister was not magically provided with a nightgown in her transformation, Hilda gave her one of her own, relieving her of having to hold onto her blanket. With a moment of privacy and help from her husband, Zelda was soon properly dressed and found herself at the edge of the bed, ready to try to walk with her new legs. With Link by her side, her mother ready in front of her like she was watching her baby take her first steps, Zelda placed her soft feet on the carpet below. One, two, three steps, she then hissed in pain and found herself in the arms of her mother.
To see and feel her daughter, her little girl in her arms, the queen couldn't help but hold her closer, Zelda matching her mother's grip. But with her knees so weak and her mother too tired from a lack of sleep to hold her up, they knelt down to sit on the floor as they embraced each other and sobbed with joy. Soon the king and Hilda knelt down and embraced the two, forming a group hug.
Watching from where he stood, Link felt his heart warm up even more than before and smiled at the sight. He was proud of the royal family, it already being an honor to work as a royal guard to Princess Hilda. To aid them in this predicament, his hard work resulting in such a wonderful outcome, it was certain to be his greatest achievement.
Looking up at him, the queen reached out a hand, her gratitude shimmering like crystals in her eyes. Holding her hand for just one second, he was gently pulled down to join the hug. And that was right, he remembered. While it was still unbelievable, him being a mere knight not long ago, he was now part of the royal family.
The weeks carried on, Zelda spending the first few days learning how to walk, Link never leaving her side. And when she eventually managed to walk upright with no problem, it was quite the fun surprise to see how she had her sister's height, which was a few inches taller than Link.
He then cared for her as she was bedridden with a fever for a week. While she was urged to simply rest, she convinced him to bring some books. While her mother had taught her how to read, it had been a while since she last read herself, it not being easy for a big dragon to turn the pages or see the fine text. When her eyes grew too tired, he would read to her until she fell asleep. Once she had recovered, it was like she had unlocked a new level of energy, ready to explore the castle, talk to everyone she met and ask all about their occupations and duties. So much to learn and she loved every minute of it.
It was quite the shock to the castle staff to see the dragon now be an outgoing and cheerful princess, her kindness and curiosity relieving them of the lingering anxiety she had caused. And to the knights who knew the stoic Link, it was a pleasant surprise to catch the moments he'd smile as he accompanied his wife. They agreed that, with his years of being an excellent knight and the terrifying event that was his wedding night, he more than deserved the joy he experienced with the lovely princess.
When they deemed Zelda to be ready to take on her duties as a princess, Link was also officially relieved of his duties as Hilda's appointed knight, joining his wife to be trained in royal decorum. It was often challenging for the princess, her teachers having high standards and often separated the couple to train in different rooms. While they didn't see it as a big deal at first, Zelda soon found herself missing Link and longed to be reunited after their training sessions. Even the teachers noticed how she seemed to focus better when Link was in the same room. Whether it was her feeling safer, or working harder to not embarrass her husband, they could not tell. But it was clear that Link was her support.
After a training session where she managed to impress a teacher for the first time, the couple were preparing for the night. Discussing their day, Zelda thanked him for his support and admitted she felt more confident about her chances to become a proper princess. Proud of his wife, Link couldn't help but surprise her with a light kiss on the cheek. She blushed but smiled warmly. Their marriage wasn't out of love, and Link respected that. He took things slowly, acting more like an appointed knight, keeping a comfortable distance in their bed, and letting their relationship develop naturally. They knew they were expected to fall in love, but it felt clear that they didn't need the pressure. Things were great between them, and she felt more and more comfortable with the arrangement she half-heartedly agreed to.
As their one-month anniversary approached, Zelda was thinking more and more about the ring that was made for her after her transformation. While having a proper wedding band felt nice, it didn't feel right. The ceremony they had, it felt cold and disingenuous now. With her new feelings for her husband, she began to desire a renewal, a ceremony where she can recite the bride's version of that vow he made - and say it with love.
So she waited until they were alone, walking together in the castle gardens, then eventually she gathered the courage to share her thoughts about their marriage. While nervous, she was comforted and encouraged by his warm smile and patience as she stumbled over her words. After confessing that she loved him, he reached for her hands and confessed that he felt the same, and would love to have a more genuine marriage ceremony.
After a light chuckle of joy, she wondered "But what would the castle staff say about it, my fourth wedding ceremony in two months? I must be the most bizarre princess in the history of Hyrule…"
"We could have a simple exchange of vows at the gazebo," he suggested, "…but I think they would love to prepare a proper royal wedding for such a lovely bride. …although, we should probably skip out on traditions that put our dancing skills to the test," he scratched the back of his head, remembering how badly their dancing lessons went for both of them. While they had fun, their teacher wasn't happy with their lack of rhythm and grace.
"Oh Link," she giggled before getting lost in his warm gaze, leaning down a bit as he reached up, the two meeting for a sweet first kiss.
And so, one week later - a whole month since the wedding between Link and the dragon princess - their new wedding was held, now with a more normal-looking bride and with love in the air. The kingdom still overjoyed, the once hidden away princess freed of her curse and welcomed into the castle, subsequently saving the kingdom from the possible wrath of a mindless dragon - they wouldn't have anything but a proper celebration.
Standing at the altar, Link was again dressed in his finest garbs, this time with his family's ceremonial sword by his hip. And as his bride entered, he felt her entrance to be as grand as when she was a dragon. A proper wedding dress, inspired by her previous form, it was quite a sight to behold.
When it was time for the vows, Link drew his sword and knelt down, sword in front of him as he recited his vow.
"With this sword, I swear to protect you from the evils of the earth and sky. Come sleet or thunder, drought or blood moon, I swear to stand by your side and never falter. Shall metal break or melt, my life will be your sword and shield until the end of my days."
Placing a hand on the hilt of the sword, Zelda recited the bride's version.
"With this hand, I swear to care for you on the earth and sky. Come sleet or thunder, drought or blood moon, I swear to heal you, love you, and protect you. In happiness or strife, in darkness or light, my heart will always rest with you until the end of my days."
The ceremony carried on without any fault, the swordsman and the princess were happily married out of love - and lived happily ever after.
The end.
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…kudos to you who know where those vows actually come from. :D (Ferisae's Sky Family, I changed them a lil bit)
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bloobluebloo · 22 days
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Several Zelda games establish that music and the composition behind it can carry magical properties and has several people who explore it. Do you have any ideas or headcanons imagining Ganon getting in on this? I like the idea of his own theme music having some kind of power especially since he's actually playing it in OoT and he'd be smart and determined enough to spend the time studying.
Oh he absolutely is getting in on that. My definitive version of a "Modern AU" Ganondorf is that he is a musician, so I do think of him in relation to music a lot. In OoT, we learn that Ganondorf specifically targeted the Composer Brothers for their knowledge on how music could manipulate time, and he killed them when they refused to share what they knew. This tells me that he had a hunch that the Ocarina of Time, a key to the Sacred Realm, could produce music that could manipulate time itself, and thus understood the significance of music's effect on the world around him. It's no wonder to me that he procures something as over the top as an organ because the sound that it emanates is striking as well as the sort of imagery it provides. If anything, I was always under the impression that, magical power aside, Ganondorf is aware that music has a profound effect on people. Having this ominous, relentless theme follow the hero around, growing louder as he approaches Ganondorf's lair and more distant, yet ever present the further away he is can be use to unsettle Link, to remind him that Ganondorf is always watching and waiting patiently for his arrival, sort of a way to weaken his resolve before even facing him. I do think it's entirely possible that he does infuse magic into his music so that anyone who manages to step foot into his castle is struck with a sense of fear and awe that they cannot shake, draining them of any resolve they may have had and leaving them with no choice but to cower in submission. Of course, Link would probably be immune to this thanks to having the Triforce of Courage and being the hero of legend.
Even in TotK, Ganondorf uses music to manipulate the molduga into doing as he wishes, a feat that is extraordinarily impressive for someone who, at that point, has no divine power to draw on. Clearly, he understands music as an extraordinary tool of manipulation, and being a master manipulator he absolutely respects what music can do. I imagine he both adores and loathes how music can make him feel because he seemingly is not immune to its effects either.
(Which is why I think being a musician would absolutely be a profession of choice for him, especially in a world where politicians and kings can be bought with money, and the common folk care more about music, its artists, and what they have to say, and of course how it can draw out emotions such as fear, hatred, and rebellion, you see where I’m going with this 🤭)
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nkatr84 · 9 months
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My Adventures with Superman : Season 1 thoughts
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So if you’ve been following me, you’ve might have noticed that I have chimed in now and again with a few jokey observations about the show My Adventures with Superman. But now that the show has wrapped season 1, I wanted to give my overall thoughts on the show.
Now I haven’t watched any DCAU movies or shows since the 90s Batman the Animated Series and Superman the Animated Series. From what I’ve gathered it’s mainly been offshoots of those original shows anyway. This show however has its own take on Superman’s origins. And what I’m about to state may be a controversial stance in the DC fandom.
I think this is probably the best adaptation of Superman since Christopher Reeves and Richard Donner brought the character to life. And the way they have written this Superman is possibly better than the Reeves/Donner version.
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Let me explain. The way they wrote and the way Reeves played Superman is almost flawless. But this show has made me realize that most adaptations of Superman fall into the trap of treating Superman and Clark Kent as two different characters. Usually where Superman is his real personality but Clark is an act. Like Reeves plays Clark so goofy and comical (he was best friends with Robin Williams, no surprise) so that Superman seems like a different person to make it make sense why no one especially Lois would figure out the truth.
What makes this show stand out is that Superman is the hero he is because he’s Clark Kent. This show analyzes Clark as a person who just has to help. He has to be kind. He feels guilty if he doesn’t because he’s been given these powers and clearly the Kents have raised him to be kind and helpful to others because that’s what farming communities do when times are tough. They help each other.
He even exhausts himself when he develops super hearing because he can’t ignore a plea for help. (I had to save the cat!) He’s so honest that he’s actually bad at keeping secrets. Jimmy figured it out when they met but because he got to know who Clark was as a good person he waited until Clark was ready to tell him. (Jimmy rocks BTW. He deserves that $5 million and I hope he invests wisely.) This Lois figured out his secret faster than any of the League of Lois did. But the truth only frees Clark to be even more himself and allow Lois and Jimmy to get close after a childhood where he was afraid of getting close to anyone for fear of hurting them.
Speaking of the way his powers developed over time and how the writers have kept his origin a mystery to Clark himself is perfection. Jor-El’s consciousness in the hologram not speaking the same language only adds to the mystery. Like a DC fan is screaming at Clark in the finale going, “no! He’s your Dad! He sent you to Earth to save you!” (Me. I’m that fan.) But the language barrier has made Clark think he was born to be a weapon. A thought that terrifies him. But like the Kryptonite, Clark is going to take what should weaken him and turn it into a strength by resolving to use his powers to protect the Earth. He’s choosing to be Earth’s champion not because the ghost of his birth Father is telling him he should, but because it’s who he is.
My only criticism of the show is the pace. Like everything is fast forward in the show because I’m sure the creators were like, “okay we know we might get two seasons but we’re only getting ten episodes a season. So if we want to tell the story we need to tell, we have to skip the usual story beats.” Because current studio executives (especially Warner Brothers) hate animated shows for some reason.
But the fact that this show not only understands Superman perfectly but the main trio is adorable and the show is funny and charming and beautifully animated. To a point where my main criticism boils down to I want more means that they are doing something right.
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m1ckeyb3rry · 9 months
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Pomegranate Ink: XI
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Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.
Chapter Synopsis: In wake of your recent recommendation and newfound ability to heal, you have to make a choice that does not necessarily please everyone around you.
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Series Masterlist
Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader
Chapter Word Count: 5.8k
Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included
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A/N: consider this an epilogue to jjk vol 0
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“So you’re giving up fighting, right?”
You stared at your phone in confusion, brow furrowed. What your father was saying made no sense; you had expected his first words when you told him of your feat to be congratulatory, to be awed of your prowess. But he was dull and clinical, speaking with a detached tone, as if you were less a daughter and more a fascinating test subject.
“Uh, what?” you said. “No way! I just got recommended for Grade 1 sorcerer status! Why would I give all of that up?”
“I’ve been doing research into our family’s line, ever since you proved to be so utterly unable to heal even a scratch. It’s your dependence on Dissection that’s bringing you down.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you said
“Dissection is a crutch of sorts. You shouldn’t need to see your patient’s weak spots in order to heal them — the overwhelming strength of Composition will heal any weaknesses, both those you are aware of and those you are not. Dissection is used at first, by lesser members of the clan, in order to acquaint oneself with the anatomy of a human. But when was the last time you saw me using it? I don’t. I haven’t used it in years.”
“I’m not really sure what you mean,” you said. “I thought you’d be happy for me. I brought somebody back to life!”
“And I’m not quite certain how you did that. You’re not listening to what I’m saying, Y/N — your cursed energy is being wasted on your technique. You can’t heal while you fight, and you can’t fight while you heal. The only way that you reviving Okkotsu makes sense is if you tapped into some greater reserve of cursed energy that was not yours to begin with.”
So your victory was not exactly your own. You resolved to speak to Gojo about this as soon as you could, so that you could figure out what you had drawn upon. You had a sense that he knew, or at least had his suspicions.
“I have to make a choice, then? But Kaito said I was the first sorcerer to have an equal aptitude for fighting and healing,” you said with a frown.
“Firstly, Kaito’s always been full of shit, so why would you believe him? Secondly, he’s right, but that’s a dramatic way of saying it. It’s true that you have an equal aptitude for fighting and healing, which is exceedingly rare — do you see Shoko Ieri on the battlefield? Me? Conversely, do you see Kento Nanami or Utahime Iori healing anyone? No. But that doesn’t mean you get to have both.”
“I really have to pick?” you said in horror as you began to understand what your father was trying to stress to you.
“It shouldn’t be a choice, but theoretically, yes. If you continue to use Dissection, your ability to use Composition will be weakened, and if you learn to use Composition to its fullest extent, you will no longer be able to use Dissection in a way that will be helpful for fights.”
You remembered the pain of healing, the blood dripping from your nose, the choking sensation. And then you remembered the rush of fighting, the adrenaline. Healing was a funeral march, dragging you to a slow, inevitable death. Fighting made you alive; it was the essence of your being, at the very core of who you were.
“It’s not permanent, right? Composition won’t go away or anything if I don’t use it for a while,” you said.
“No, it’ll always be a part of you, but —”
“Then I fight,” you said decisively. “I will fight and become a true Grade 1 sorcerer. I will continue to train with Gojo. If ever a day comes where I can no longer fight, then I will become a healer, but until that day, I will fight with everything I have.”
“You are making a selfish choice, Y/N. You have great potential with Composition, and there are so few healers in this world, while there is no dearth of fighters.”
“Let me be selfish for once, then,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose to ward off the coming headache.
“How can you willingly turn away from the power to save your friends?”
“I will save them by creating a world where there is nothing that will hurt them. This conversation is over; I am to be a sorcerer proper, and you cannot stop me, not now, not ever. I will fight,” you said.
“What will Noritoshi say?”
“Nothing, I expect. He has been in support of me fighting from the start. Besides, now that it’s been proven I can use the Reverse Cursed Technique, isn’t my value to the Kamo clan far greater? It doesn’t matter if I am ugly or scarred or broken, any heirs I bear will likely possess the same aptitude as I do. They won’t care if I fight or heal,” you said. Your father sighed in frustration but allowed you the argument, knowing you were right.
“There is nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“As I threatened once before, I will run away to live with Gojo if you try,” you said.
“Very well. I will see you once the school year ends.”
“Very well. Farewell, father,” you said.
“Wait.”
“What?” you said impatiently. “I have to go talk to Gojo.”
“Congratulations on your recommendations. I…am proud of you. You will truly be a shining example of what it means to be a sorcerer, if that is the path you must take.”
“Thank you,” you said, taken aback at the praise. You weren’t sure if you had ever heard your father praise you before. You didn’t know how genuine it was, but it was praise all the same, and some childish part of you wished for more.
“Farewell, Y/N.”
The line went silent, and you slipped your cellphone into your pocket, frowning pensively at the latest development.
The way your father told it, nothing had changed at all. You had healed Yuta, but that was a one-time thing, and if you wanted to continue to be the perfect L/N girl, then you’d have to give up fighting.
Fighting. You remembered what Tullia had asked you once, en route to Gojo’s favorite bakery, which you two had needed to save from a Grade 2 curse.
“Is anything in your life your own?”
You had needed to pause and think about it back then. It seemed so long ago, when only two things belonged to you for sure, when your choices were made by others and your destiny depended upon the whims of a group of ‘stuffy old men’ — the ever-so-kind name that Maki and Tullia used to refer to the higher ups.
“My needles. My friendship with Maki. Those are mine.”
Giving up fighting meant giving up both of those. What use did a healer have for cursed needles, meant to puncture and kill? What use did the perfect heir of the L/Ns have for the failure of the Zenins? For better or worse, if you became a healer the way your father wanted you to, you would fit seamlessly into the role allotted to you by your superiors. Yet all that meant was a loss of everything you had tried to do and become, a loss of your newfound individuality, your sense of self, your friendships, and your strength.
“It stands to reason, actually,” Gojo said, motioning for you to sit, which you did so without hesitating, “What your father is saying has merit to it. There’s a reason you’re the first L/N to fight, and there’s a reason most normal sorcerers never obtain the skill to heal.”
“Do you think I’m making the right choice?” you said. He shrugged.
“Nah. Any sane person would want to learn how to heal. Who’d want to keep risking their life, day after day, when they could be safe and helping on the sidelines?” he said.
“I could never let my friends fight my battles for me! I’ve spent too long locked away on the sidelines,” you snapped at him.
“Well, nobody ever said jujutsu sorcerers are sane,” he said.
“Huh?” you said.
“Look, Y/N, it’s a choice that nobody can make for you. If you want to fight, then fight to the bitter end. If you want to heal, then there will be no shortage of patients for you to work on, not in times such as these,” he said.
“So you think it’s okay for me to choose to fight?” you pressed.
“I think it’s okay for you to choose to fight,” he affirmed. “I think it’s more than okay. You told me once, and I think you were right in saying it, that healing is akin to a war. You’re not going to escape pain, no matter the path you take. It’s just what you’re capable of bearing that matters.”
“Alright, then. As long as I have your support,” you said.
“You do,” he said. “Always. You’re clever, and what kind of teacher wants to give up a talented student? You don’t have to be able to heal just to make an impact in this world, and anyways, as your father said, you’re not giving it up for good. If there ever comes a time that you put down your needles forever and take up the role of healer, then I’m certain Shoko will be grateful for the help.”
“Speaking of healing, what about the rest of it? Why was I able to bring back Yuta while using Dissection? To hear my father tell it, it should’ve been impossible,” you said. Gojo hummed in thought.
“Nobody can know for sure, but I have some theories. Would you like to hear?” he said.
“Obviously, or I wouldn’t have asked,” you said. He laughed.
“Okay, okay, that’s fair enough. My first idea is that Rika lent you her cursed energy somehow, boosting your Reverse Cursed Technique enough to fully heal Yuta with Composition despite the fact that it should’ve been severely weakened. My second is that you only shocked Yuta’s system, in the sense that you didn’t heal him so much as annoy him into waking up, whereupon he was able to heal himself due to his prowess with the Reverse Cursed Technique,” he said.
“How would Rika lend me her cursed energy?” you said.
“I don’t know. That’s why it’s just a theory. There’s too many gaps in our understanding that, in all honesty, probably won’t ever be filled. My final hypothesis is the most outlandish, but it’s based on what I heard you and Yuta talking about, right after he woke up again,” he said.
“I wish you would’ve forgotten about that,” you said, subconsciously fidgeting with the ring that rested on your finger — not your engagement ring from Noritoshi but the one that Yuta had put on you. “It’s embarrassing that you had to hear. And also really, really, really weird.”
“Still, it was informative to say the least. I’m sure you’ve heard the story of the Y/N from the Heian period and how she was brought back to life after helping seal Sukuna,” he said.
“Yes, of course, that’s the story that convinced me to try healing Yuta,” you said.
“That makes it simpler. Did you think that you loved him enough to bring him back?” he said. You averted your eyes.
“Dunno. I mean, I don’t have any beliefs in love being some magical tool or anything. All I knew was that Yuta loved me and the others enough to die saving us and the school, and I loved him too much to let him go without at least attempting to do something about it,” you said.
“Love’s a powerful curse,” Gojo said. “Powerful enough that the cursed energy from it might’ve been enough to temporarily boost your reserves.”
“Powerful enough that I could’ve been powerful enough, for a little bit, to bring Yuta back to life,” you said dully. “That’s the corniest shit I’ve ever heard.”
“It is pretty cheesy,” Gojo admitted. “The truth’s probably somewhere in the middle, as it often is. Maybe some combination of your heightened emotions and Rika’s energy were enough to force Yuta’s heart into beating just enough that he could heal himself. Maybe it was something else entirely. Like I said, we’ll never know.”
“No point in dwelling on it, I suppose. He’s alive, and that’s all that matters,” you said with a sigh. “It’s not like I’ll be healing very many people moving forwards.”
“Right on,” Gojo said. “Just focus on completing your missions so that you can become a Grade 1 sorcerer in full!”
“That’s the plan,” you said with a firm nod, “Though a bit of a break first would be nice. We were all thinking of having a party, actually, I believe Toge and Panda will take care of the cake. Maybe Maki, Tullia, and I can buy some decorations, and Yuta can…uh, I don’t know, Yuta can clean or something? That doesn’t really make much sense, though, I’ll have to coordinate with the others so we can split up into more balanced teams.”
Gojo sniffed, and so quickly you almost didn’t see it, pulled down his sunglasses to wipe away a tear from his eyes. You frowned, but he shook his head before you could inquire why he was crying.
“Here,” he said, voice choking as he held out his hand. “Take this.”
“Your credit card?” you said, eyes wide as you stared at the glimmering, sapphire-colored metal. He nodded.
“Yeah. I’m…I’m really glad that the six of you are friends, you know that? I hope you always stay that way,” he said.
“Okay,” you said. “Can I buy whatever I want with this?”
“Go ahead,” he said.
“No way,” you breathed.
“Just save me some cake,” he said.
“Sure thing!” you said, completely reevaluating the party. With Gojo as your sponsor, you could go seriously all-out now!
To your further surprise, he leaned over and squeezed you in a hug. “You’re a good kid.”
“What do you want from me?” you wheezed out, unused to the copious amounts of affection.
“Nothing, nothing. Megumi hates hugs, so I have to make do with you, since you’re the only one who won’t deck me when I try,” he said.
“I see,” you said warily. “You’re not going to follow this up with what I think you are, are you?”
He ignored you and beamed. “But who knows? Maybe Megumi will let you hug him! Only one way to find out!”
“There it is,” you said, pocketing Gojo’s card and rolling your eyes. “Later, Gojo. Thanks for the credit card!”
“Anytime!” he said.
“Really?” you said. He paused and thought about this.
“Maybe not,” he said.
“Fair enough,” you said.
You dashed down the hallways in search of your fellow classmates. Luckily, they were all together, Panda hiding behind Yuta while Maki glared at him, Toge sleeping on the couch, and Tullia making popcorn.
“Y/N!” Maki said when she noticed your arrival. “Help me!”
“With what?” you said.
“She’s trying to force me into the bath!” Panda wailed. You turned to Yuta, who gave you a lopsided grin, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I think he smells fine,” he said.
“You’re just another gross guy defending your kind! Don’t take his word for it, Y/N!” Maki said furiously.
“I’ll be the judge of things,” you said, crossing the room to where Panda was cowering and leaning in to sniff his fur delicately.
“What’s the verdict?” Tullia said, tossing a handful of popcorn into her mouth and then scowling when it went everywhere but into her mouth.
“He’s clean, really, his coat just needs to be brushed out, and maybe a little bit of perfume would do him good, too. A fully-fledged bath would be unnecessary, though,” you said.
“Ha!” Panda said. “Wait, what?”
“Ha! Go brush yourself!” Maki said victoriously.
“No!” he said.
“Panda, I’m not letting you make cake for our super fancy party with unbrushed fur,” you said.
“Nobody wants that mangy, ratty coat near their desserts,” Maki said.
“I don’t know if I’d call it mangy or ratty, but I agree that this party deserves the best,” you said.
“And how exactly are we going to afford that? We’re a bunch of broke students,” Tullia said. You whipped out Gojo’s credit card, holding it up to the light.
“Gojo gave me full permission to use this!” you said.
“You’re joking,” Maki said.
“We probably shouldn’t take advantage of his kindness, though, right?” Yuta said worriedly. All of you, bar the still-unconscious Toge, began to laugh.
“Gojo’s loaded, and also he’s so annoying that I have no qualms about spending his money,” Maki said.
“He did say we could buy whatever we wanted with it,” you said.
“Don’t be a spoilsport, Yuta,” Tullia said.
“It’s party time!” Panda cheered.
“Only if you brush yourself,” Maki said. He exhaled so heavily that his entire body seemed to deflate.
“Okay,” he said, evidently deciding that making the sacrifice for the party was worth it.
“We need to split up into highly specialized teams,” you said, mentally drawing up a diagram for yourself, “Toge and Panda are doing cake, of course.”
“Naturally,” Tullia said.
“That leaves the four of us. Two will have to clean, and someone will have to come shopping with me,” you said.
“I’ll go shopping!” Yuta said immediately. Tullia and Maki exchanged looks, snickering very obviously, which made Yuta turn a bright red. You discreetly pinched Tullia’s upper arm, which did not do much to shut her up.
“That’s perfect, then. And if this place isn’t spotless by the time we’re back, there will be consequences,” you said.
“Like what?” Tullia said.
“I’ll tell Gojo you want to get with Megumi,” you said, jabbing a finger at her. She gasped in horror.
“You wouldn’t!” she said.
“I would,” you said. “And Maki, I’ll tell Principal Yaga you volunteered to be his secretary for the rest of the year.”
“You’re an awful person,” Maki said.
“Better get cleaning!” you sang, blowing her a kiss. “Come on, Yuta. Let’s get going; Panda, brush yourself off, wake Toge up, and get baking.”
“On it, boss!” Panda said with a salute.
“Sheesh, a girl gets recommended for grade 1 sorcerer status one time and suddenly thinks she’s better than everyone!” Tullia said.
“I know! You’d think she’d beaten Sukuna himself, the way she’s swaggering around here like she owns the place!” Maki said.
“Oh, shove a sock in it, you two,” you said.
“Whatever you say, wise and powerful Y/N,” Tullia said with a bow.
“We are but your weak underlings,” Maki said as the two of them dissolved in a fit of giggles. You grabbed a broom and threw it at them. Maki dodged, but Tullia did not, and the handle whacked into her skull. This time, it was you who burst into laughter, grabbing Yuta’s hand and dragging him out after you before either of them could retaliate.
“How are we going to get into the city?” Yuta said.
“We could ask Ijichi to take us?” you said.
“That’s a good idea,” he nodded.
But the managers were all too busy to deal with frivolous errands such as taking you to go shopping for a party, leaving you standing in the parking lot, stumped. Rows upon rows of shiny cars stared you in the face, and a wicked plan formed in your mind.
“Let’s steal one,” you said.
“We’ll get in so much trouble if we’re caught! Also, neither of us knows how to drive!” Yuta said.
“How hard can it be? Come on, it’s either that or we walk,” you said.
“Fine, but you’ll be the one behind the wheel,” he said nervously. “I’ll crash the car for sure.”
“Got it. I’ll look up the basics on my phone,” you said, skimming over an article on how to drive a car while Yuta did his seatbelt and then reached over to buckle yours for you while you were distracted.
“I can’t believe we’re hijacking a car,” he said.
“It’s so cool, right?” you said.
“No! What if Gojo finds out?” he said.
“He’d probably be proud of us,” you said. Yuta considered this.
“I guess you’re not wrong about that,” he said. Putting away your phone, you took a deep breath and started the car. The engine purred to life without a hitch, and you allowed a tentative smile to break out on your face before you put the car into reverse and stepped on the gas.
The car shot backwards, and Yuta screamed shrilly as you slammed on the brake pedal, jerking to a stop and then switching the car into drive. Spinning the wheel, you careened out of the parking lot, narrowly avoiding the curb and the welcome sign.
“Oh my god,” Yuta said as you accelerated around the curves of the country roads near the school, “We’re going to die!”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” you shouted gleefully, pushing the car faster. Yuta shrieked as you shot onto the highway, weaving around other cars and barely dodging trucks.
“Slow down!” he said.
“No way!” you said. “This is fun!”
You felt like you could do anything now. You had defied your father. You had stolen a car. You had Gojo’s credit card in your pocket. You were going to have a party, and you were going to continue to fight. You were a sorcerer, a future grade 1 sorcerer, and you didn’t care that the only knowledge you had on driving came from a Wikipedia article. You had Yuta at your side, and the both of you were so alive that nothing else mattered.
The tires screeched as you pulled into the grocery store parking lot and somehow fit the car into the furthest spot you could find. Putting it back into park and shutting off the engine, you took a moment to catch your breath.
“That was awful,” Yuta said, clutching his chest. “I’m more scared of your driving than I was of Geto.”
“Are you kidding? That was awesome!” you said. “And you’re rude to say that.”
“Look, I think you almost killed me on the highway at least thirty times! That’s more times than Geto managed to!” he said, breathing heavily
“But we didn’t die,” you pointed out.
“Divine intervention,” he muttered. You poked him in the cheek.
“Just admit I’m not an awful driver,” you said.
“You are!” he said.
“Like you could do better!” you said.
“Just because I’m probably worse doesn’t make you good!” he argued, getting out of the car and opening the door for you, extending a hand to help you out. You took it and did not let go, even once you had slammed your door shut and locked the car behind you.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re just jealous. Don’t be jealous, Yuta, I can teach you,” you said, swinging your linked hands between the two of you, letting yourself have this precious one moment of being with him openly before you let go.
“No thanks,” he scoffed. “What do we need to buy?”
“Appetizers, probably. Decorations. Plates and napkins and plastic cutlery and all of that. A colorful tablecloth? It’s just going to be the six of us, so we don’t need to go all out,” you said.
“That store looks promising,” he said. You squinted at the building he was pointing at and then nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go! We should try to get done before Maki and Tullia have the chance to finish cleaning,” you said.
“You’re horrible,” he said affectionately.
“I’m a monster of their making,” you said. “If they don’t like it, well, they can’t complain. It’s their fault I’m like this.”
“I think you were always like this, they’re just the ones that made you come out of your shell,” he said.
“And isn’t that what I just said?” you teased.
“Not exactly,” he said. “But I’ll give it to you.”
“Thank you, Yuta, you’re very generous,” you said dryly.
“Anything for you, Y/N,” he said. You bit your lip in thought, suddenly remembering something.
“Say, I know this is kind of random, but since we’re alone and there’s no chance of anyone overhearing…what are we to each other, Yuta?” you said. He was silent for a second, mulling the question over.
“I don’t know,” he said finally, not looking at you but straight ahead when he did. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. You’re engaged to somebody else.”
“Yeah,” you said.
“Yeah. But you love me,” he continued.
“Yeah,” you said again.
“And I — I —” he broke off. “You know how I feel. But I can’t say it, because whenever I say it to people, something bad happens to them. Maybe I’m just being superstitious, but I won’t curse you with my feelings.”
“Okay,” you said, even though it would’ve been so nice to hear him say it out loud. But they were just words; like he said, you knew how he felt.
“So where does that leave us? We can’t be boyfriend and girlfriend. We can’t go on dates when there’s a chance we could get caught. We can’t be with one another in public; maybe we can’t be with one another at all. But I don’t want to be with anyone else, Y/N, nobody but you,” he said.
“I’ll become an outcast before I leave you,” you promised, “I’ll leave jujutsu society forever if that’s what it takes, but I won’t leave you. If you’ll have me.”
His eyes softened, and he turned to look at you. In the light, the poison-blue looked far more grey, but it was a pretty shade of the color. You would drown in his irises happily.
“If I’ll have you? That’s a stupid question. I’m still confused about the fact that you want me, really. If it comes down to it, we’ll be outcasts together,” he said.
The rings on both of your fingers glinted in the sun as you interlocked your pinky finger with his in an oath. Your ring from Noritoshi and his from Rika were reminders of your pasts, and the ones your mother had given you, the ones you had exchanged with one another, were promises of the future.
Whether triumphant sorcerers or pariahs from society, you could be assured that Yuta would remain by your side no matter what. And you had faith that Maki, Tullia, Toge, and Panda would not abandon you, either, but they faded into an afterthought at the moment. It was you and Yuta against the world, you and him and nobody else. So you gave into temptation and kissed him in the parking lot, nothing more than a brush of your lips against his own before you could be seen, but it sealed the deal more than any kind of wedding vows ever could.
“You guys took forever,” Tullia said with a yawn when you and Yuta walked in, the muscles in his arms flexing under the weight of the boxes and bags you were making him carry.
“We’ve been done for ages,” Maki said.
“Toge and Panda?” you said.
“Putting on the finishing touches with the icing. Seriously, though, why were you gone for so long?” Maki said.
“Y/N’s an awful driver,” Yuta said by way of explanation, setting down the stuff you had bought with a thud. “Enough said.”
“No, not enough said. What happened?” Maki said.
“She almost killed six pedestrians, enormous trucks almost flattened us twice, and that’s not even the worst of it!” he said.
“Then what’s the worst of it?” Tullia said. You and Yuta shuddered before deciding not to bring up the Incident.
“Never mind,” you said. “We made it back in one piece, and with the stuff we needed for this party! So let’s focus on the bright side, okay?”
“Okay,” Maki said dubiously. “As long as you’re both alright.”
“We will be,” Yuta said.
“Just get all of this set up,” you said, not wanting to dwell on it any longer. The four of you were efficient to the max, moving with the speed that was to be expected from those in your profession. You chatted, mostly about smaller things, though one big conversation came about, and this was when you brought up the choice you had made.
“Tullia, be careful, you’re going to break your finger,” Maki said in exasperation when Tullia almost slammed a chair leg into her pinky. Tullia waved her off.
“Don’t worry about it! Y/N can heal now, she’s got me covered,” she said. You snorted.
“I wouldn’t count on that. In terms of healing…I have no healing,” you said.
“What do you mean?” she said indignantly, freezing in place and giving you a betrayed look.
“Exactly what I said. I can’t heal, not while I continue to use my inherited technique. I don’t have enough cursed energy to continually use both Dissection and Composition, so I had to make a choice between which one I want to focus on, and I’m…I’m a jujutsu sorcerer, not a healer. I know it makes me a terrible person, especially when people with the capabilities to heal are so rare, but I just can’t do it. I can’t give up the one thing I have for myself,” you said. They all considered this.
“I don’t care whether you fight or heal,” Yuta said, “As long as you’re safe. That’s the only thing I’m concerned about.”
“I’d be pretty upset, losing my favorite training partner,” Maki said. This was her small, secret way of saying she was happy with what you chose, her way of saying she’d have missed you otherwise.
“I’m glad that you’re finally making your own decisions. If anyone’s got the right to be selfish after everything, it’s you. And besides, Yuta has a Reverse Cursed Technique too, doesn’t he? I guess I’ll just make sure to be around him if I get hurt instead,” Tullia said.
Yuta nodded. “It’ll be good practice for sure. Although, if you get hurt doing something stupid, I’ll laugh at you first.”
“When is Tullia not doing something stupid?” you said rhetorically.
“She’s got a point,” Maki said.
“I guess I’ll be laughing a lot,” Yuta said.
“As long as you still heal me eventually,” Tullia said, not even arguing with the assessment she knew to be true.
You all moved on quickly, and you were thankful. It felt like there was a great weight lifted off of your shoulders now, as if there had previously been a heavy fog on your mind that had suddenly vanished.
It was okay that you were choosing your own happiness. It was okay that you could not heal. It was okay that you were in love with Yuta. All of these things could be true, all of these things were true, and you would still always have your classmates and your teacher. Gojo, Tullia, Maki, Panda, Yuta, and Toge — even in a nightmarish world like the one you lived in, you could count on them.
“Hey,” Tullia muttered to you, later that night, once the party was over and the others were passed out from an overconsumption of cake, “I was being serious earlier, you know that?”
“About what?” you said, nearly about to fall asleep yourself.
“About everything. The whole choosing to fight thing and all of that. Ever since I’ve met you, it’s like you’ve just been doing what you’re told and bearing it as best as you can. I don’t care if it means one less healer in the world; if you can escape your last name and assigned role through it, then who are we to begrudge you for it?” she said.
“Do you really mean it?” you said.
“’Course I do. Maybe it makes you a shitty person, but look at it this way — you’re never going to top bringing someone back to life, so why try? You’ve already hit your peak as a healer. Focus on becoming a better sorcerer; there’s still room for improvement there,” she said. You blinked at her in amazement.
“You’re right about that,” you said.
“I’m so smart,” she giggled, not waiting for you to respond before lying on the carpet, hugging a pillow and curling up next to Panda, who functioned as a heat source that was quite comfortable to fall asleep next to. She was out within minutes, and you smiled affectionately before deciding to follow her example.
Yuta was on the couch and, because you knew that everyone at the school was already pretty much aware of your relationship with him, you had no misgivings about dropping down next to him and resting your cheek against his chest.
He was warm, though perhaps not as warm as Panda, and he did not wake up when you settled beside him. But you did not want him to wake up, so this was fine. You allowed his heartbeat to lull you to sleep, and whether the steady rhythm was Rika’s doing or yours or his own, you found it did not matter. As long as it kept going. As long as he was alive. The rest you could deal with, as long as you had him.
Maybe you would never heal again, but in bringing Yuta back, you had already done all of the healing you would ever need to. By chance or fate, the circumstances had aligned perfectly, so that you were able to bring him back, so that you were able to draw upon the healing power of your family for that exact one event. But in the end, you were also descended from Y/N, the woman who had fought so hard that she had helped seal Sukuna even as she was dying from the knife he had twisted in her. You were never meant to live a life away from the blood of the battlefield; your mother had ensured that when she chose your name.
Nothing had changed since you had come here, a scared girl unable to heal but willing to fight. Yet everything had changed, because now you were unwilling to heal, able to fight, and braver than you could have imagined. And you had friends now, people who loved you, and there was a true future for you as a Grade 1 sorcerer, as long as you could prove yourself worthy of it.
That was what you dreamt of — not love or happiness or peace but rather of strength and power. You dreamt of the day that you were confirmed as a Grade 1 sorcerer, of the day that you could look your father in the eye and tell him that you were worth more than he thought you were, worth more than him.
And it — it was a foolish dream, but as the moon inched across the sky, you dreamt of a future where you were the head of your clan, a future where all of jujutsu society listened to you.
In your sleep, you smiled.
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styxnbones · 1 year
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For cass: essentials 5, 8; life 7; death 3; clans 10, 12
ty im so happy ppl are interested in cass!
Essentials 5: as I touched on in the last ask, her sire is Astrid Hallman- originally a 10th gen Carrier Malkavian. Many year's prior to Cass' embrace, Astrid diablerized her own sire and became 9th gen which meant that Cass was embraced into the 10th generation as well. Cass first met Astrid as one of the rare gigs she would take for more legitimate private investigation type work among the many criminal contracts. Astrid was paranoid (as she always is) about being followed/hunted by someone and didn't want to approach the cops so she managed to get Cass' contact information. It was a simple job- extremely clear that no one was on to her and easy enough to prove, and Astrid payed quite well. A month later Astrid contacted them again, and again wasted their time. Same the next month. However Astrid was paying well and also had the benefit of being hot so Cass didn't mind. Eventually this turned into a proper relationship despite the red flags on both sides. Until, inevitably, Astrid's paranoia turned on Cass and caused her to think they had been lulling her into a sense of security while actually having found her out, which caused her to frenzy- killing Cass in the process before frantically embracing her when she realized what she had done. After that, still too afraid of having been sold out for diablerie, and now with the added problem of an unintentional childer, Astrid's controlling tendencies shot up to 11. She rapidly blood bound Cass and used that along with Dominate to keep her shut up in the apartment for a number of years until Cass could gradually chip away at her resolve and make a break for it. Their relationship is manipulative and controlling on both sides, since Astrid is chronically Paranoid and Cass's curse takes the form of Megalomania/NPD. Though, while Astrid genuinely loves Cass in her own fucked up way and just wants them both safe from the many dangers she perceives around every corner, Cass's resentment has only grown as time spent away weakens the blood bond.
8: technically, Cass isn't in v5 and therefore doesn't have any Touchstones TM, but if she was Lila and Rowan (who I mentioned in the last ask) would definitely be among them
Life 7: Cass is baptised and her dad had intended to raise her presbyterian- which was part of why her mother divorced him and went back to the US. Consequently she never actually grew up religious, and even with a small amount of dabbling in the occult since entering kindred society she still doesn't really buy into the Noddist mythology though obviously the existence of the supernatural is now undeniable.
Death 3: As is evident, Cass is a Malkavian. However, she hates the assumptions people make when that comes out, especially since she prides herself on being "the sanest malk you'll ever meet," so they often deliberately mislead people about what their clan is. It's easiest to go for Giovanni/Hecata as all the proof they'd need is to let someone watch them feed since they have the Grip of the Damned flaw. Likewise with Lasombra and the Cast No Reflection flaw, though that is preserved for very specific company.
Clans 10: Toreadors are a bunch of inattentive airheads as far a Cass in concerned. Good to have around if you can tempt them with something shiny, and they're rarely a serious threat.
12: The closest Cass has ever gotten to a Tzimisce was witnessing some poor fleshcrafted creature they found on it's last legs in a warehouse attempt to lash out at the coterie before being put out of it's misery. It was honestly pretty pathetic so she doesn't hold much respect for whatever particular Tzimisce did that, but having heard more about what Vicissitude can do in the hand of a master she's certainly wary of them in general.
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kyogre-blue · 2 years
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Everything Everywhere All at Once (movie)
Watched this at the theater. Overall, it was pretty good. Not sure why, but I did cry a few times. 
Saying that, there’s a few things I’d like to nitpick. 
On the whole, I feel like this movie just kind of tried to do too much, and this spread focus weakened the various parts. 
One aspect of this was in regard to the overall message(s). We went through Evelyn and her husband, Evelyn and her father, Evelyn and her daughter... those relationships were all saying something, but they were all saying different things, and so was Evelyn herself, to some extent. This string of messages made the finale of the movie feel kind of loose, drawn out and not as punchy as it perhaps could have been. 
I think Evelyn’s husband as a character suffers from this in particular. He’s a very constant presence, but he’s ultimately just a genderflip of the most generic female love interest -- morally correct, perfectly kind and forgiving, defined by basically nothing except being in love with the main character. It’s not great in female love interests, and tbh I don’t think just flipping the gender makes it good either. 
But the overall excessiveness of Stuff is most noticeable in the amount of details that are present but don’t really do anything. 
There’s thing that I really like in movies, and that is when a small detail from early in comes up again late in the story in a way that makes you go “oh, that’s cool, I remember that thing, so that’s why it was included.”
To use a very basic movie as an example, the original Die Hard had a mention of how McClane’s wife received an expensive watch from the company due to her outstanding work, and at the climax of the movie, this watch comes up again in how the main villain dies. Similarly, both the black sidekicks do something toward the end to put a bow on their characters, in a sense, and even something like McClane being advised to take off his shoes and socks, doing so, and then getting his feet cut up by broken glass over the course of over an hour of runtime. 
Another example would be in Paycheck, where the entire movie premise is the MC seeing the future, needing to get his memories erased, and leaving himself a collection of misc items that will be perfectly suited to resolving the difficulties he would run into, as he himself foresaw. So he receives these strange items at the start, and we get to see how each of them plays out later. 
Basically, it’s the writers having the ability to writer their ending and then go back to edit in any details they use earlier in the story, or in reverse, edit out anything that doesn’t get used. This can’t be done in ongoing publications, and even multi-volume books can’t really do it. It’s something that is, in my experience, most present in movies specifically. 
And Everything Everywhere is... not good at this. 
There ARE parts where things seem to be lining up, like Evelyn describing the Alpha verse jumping via “Racoon-toullie” and then another verse actually having a guy being controlled by a racoon. And the entire vibe makes it seem like it’s setting up details that will be used later. But overall, it leaves too many elements hanging loose, which creates this impression that the script needed to go through at least one more draft. 
There’s a lot. But one thing would be something like Evelyn’s tax audit. This is a constantly recurring plot element. But it doesn’t really make sense? Their entire business is in danger of being repossessed, so it’s not just some bad form filing. This is very serious tax issues. Yet, it’s not explained aside from the specific instance of Evelyn apparently trying to write off... hobbies? as business expenses. The specific item cited was a karaoke machine, but there are implications of others. 
At first, I thought this would be used as part of Evelyn having so many dreams that she gave up on partway through, and that her verse jumping would involve versions of herself that succeeded in those dreams, but iirc the list doesn’t line up? And we never see this karaoke machine, while at the same time, casually buying a karaoke machine doesn’t at all line up with what we get of Evelyn’s exhausted, harried character. This tax audit is such a big deal, and yet it doesn’t feel like it fits with the person we know at all. 
There’s a lot of other details that feel like they were dropped awkwardly. Stuff like Evelyn being originally from the verse where they have the big battle and where the donut is made to manifest, but the epilogue scenes are in the world where she broke the laundromat window. I get that this is probably because it would be too hard to sweep things under the rug in the first world, but just dropping it feels weird too. 
They also never show the racoon getting rescued, which I feel personally offended about. 
A lot of other small details also feel like dropped points, like her husband giving out cookies, and her martial arts master doing the same, but no other cases of this and it not really mattering on the whole. Or stuff like Evelyn’s first launch pad being to switch her shoes and her... apparently never switching them back. Same for when she takes them off during the big battle royale and then she seems to just have them on again later...? 
It’s not enough to call the movie sloppy, but it does feel like they didn’t spend enough time to tightening things up. 
I also didn’t really vibe with the humor. There was a lot of unnecessary and unbeneficial sexual humor, with stuff like the dildos, while at the same time, there were some absurdist elements like the bagel that didn’t feel like they fit because so much of the movie was otherwise too serious and grounded. 
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vampkillr · 2 years
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To Know — Bruce Wayne
m! vamp! reader — 2.2k words — angst — there's romance in this — SUGGESTIVE part towards the end you've been warned — battinson — spoilers for the new batman movie.
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There was a calmness to my method. A beauty in chipping away piece by piece, carving out delicate beings from what was once a pillar of the strongest stone. Giving life to something so simple as rock. Creating flesh from earth. Shaping them in humanity's image. I was patient enough for this. Patient enough to seek out each detail with my chisel. Burying my tools into the stone and digging for every crease and corner of the body I was forming. Sculpting was an art that took time— and I was a man who had more time than I knew what to do with. "I can feel your eyes on me, you know." Something about a piercing gaze that made all of my senses jolt awake. He had been watching me for the past few hours—leaving every so often— but he'd always return. I knew who he was. What he was. Behind the scent of titanium and leather, the faint sound of blood being pumped through his heart. I don't think he knew I could sense him. I don't think he could tell what I was, but I knew better than to think my art was what intrigued him. "Do you speak?" My tone condescending.
"Only when I need to." His footsteps echoed from behind me, but I didn't make any effort to turn around and look at him. "You don't seem to sleep." My nerves began to cluster in my stomach from his statement. I knew I was stronger than him. Less fragile, but he was still the batman— and I knew the people he's defeated before encountering me. Would he have much of a challenge?
"Only when I need to." I used his own remark for myself, trying so desperately to turn my focus to my sculpture. The sound his steps made against the pavement, growing louder as he got closer to me— I was on edge. His breath was warm against the chill of my neck.
"I can make you human again," I wanted to crumble beneath the weight of the fear that froze me. The air of anticipation that settled sent me deeper into my panic. How did I want to play this out? Did I want to put up a fight even though he was offering me something I had yearned for? How could I trust him? "do you want that?" His voice snapped me out of my turmoil.
"No one can cure it." I straightened my back against him, trying to hide my weakening resolve. "Though the thought of living and growing old with someone is enticing, I know it's not possible, so please—" I turned around, doing my best not to falter under his gaze. "just don't tell anyone. I mean no harm." I knew I was pleading. I knew it was probably of no use. But I had to try.
"You don't think it's possible?" He stepped closer, trapping me between his own body and my sculpture. I shook my head. I knew all too well that it wasn't.
"Viruses lack self-sufficiency. But this one manages to survive even after the body kills itself trying to fight it." I sighed. "Even if you managed to help me, I would die. I wouldn't be human again." He brought his hand up to my face, thumb grazing against my cheek. I would never be able to let myself fall in love. I couldn't stay in one place forever. I couldn't have friends in fear I'd harm them out of desperation. My looks and my age were stagnant. I would never have the possibility of continuing my life. I would never see myself grow old. This wasn't living. It wasn't surviving. I just existed, unable to truly move forward and unable to ever go back. It was being stuck.
I rested my hand on his wrist, trying to gently coax his hold on my face, but he didn't budge. The feeling of being held was so foreign to me that my stomach began to twist the more I focused on it. I didn't know why I felt so pulled to him. Why I stopped being scared. Something about the proximity seemed to dull my senses. "Why have you been watching me?" He finally backed away, pulling a piece of paper out from his utility belt.
"I'm sure you've heard of the riddler." He handed me what looked like a halloween card, a cute spider drawn on the front.
Pity the recluse who prays the day away... I opened the card.
His story told through cold bodies and still eyes, they point to who next meets his demise. Underneath the text on the card, was a riddle written by hand.
Inaction can come with a cost, this empty reminder shows just what he lost. I hummed.
"I think this part is about one of my sculptures." I circled the first half of the riddle. "Cold bodies, still eyes... You assumed this card was specifically about me— what I am— but I haven't done anything wrong." It baffled me how he was right about the wrong thing. If part of the riddle really was about my sculptures, then I needed to think back to each one I've done. For the city, there were only three. And the one that pointed was a commission piece I did for the city. It was in the park, and given the direction.... My brows furrowed. "Bruce Wayne." He stepped away from me.
"What?" There was a strange amount of shock in his voice. "How did you..." It took only a second to gather what he had thought I discovered. He didn't sound scared, though. Just.... Surprised.
"I suppose there are no more secrets between us now, but that's not what I meant." I walked closer to him, closing the gap he made and showing the card. My finger underlined the front words. "Pity the recluse.... If I'm pitying, something must be wrong." I opened it. "I made a sculpture, the one in the park— it points to the heart of the city. Wayne tower isn't far off." I looked up at him, unable to discern the look on his face from the mask. "You're a recluse; and you've done nothing publicly for Gotham. Inaction. This empty reminder shows just what he lost...." I trailed off.
"The orphanage." His tone unreadable. Dark. The orphanage was abandoned and his own personal embodiment of becoming an orphan himself. The riddler wanted him to go there, but not as Bruce Wayne... Right? He couldn't have known something like that.... Could he? He had access to so many incriminating things about the mayor, the DA, the Commissioner— if his next target was Bruce Wayne, who's to say he hasn't figured out he was the Batman already?
"I guess you've got what you came for," I smiled through my worry. I had to trust his capability. "pleasant meeting you." I turned and walked back to my work, while he left without a word. We were bound to each other's secret, and held hostage by our own. Neither of us could say a word without our own truth being revealed.
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Half of the city was underwater by the time we saw each other again, meeting on the roof of a building that there was no longer an entrance to. "Gotham needs more than what I am right now." He said, gazing off at the mess before us. "I need you to bite me." I sighed.
"There's more to it than just turning you, Bruce. I can't do that." He turned to me, ready to plead, but I spoke before he could. "You get so sick that you die. You wake up buried in a flashy suit and so thirsty that you'd kill literally anyone over the mere scent of them. It's an abyss." My hands went to his jaw and I took his mask off, relishing the sight of him. "Just because I haven't killed anyone in Gotham doesn't mean I've had this type of restraint forever. You're not ready for it." We stared at each other for a moment. Silence consuming us and yet so many words on our minds. I could see everything he wanted to say, everything he wanted to do— but neither of us moved any closer than we were.
"We can't be more than just this if you don't turn me," I couldn't tell if he earnestly wanted my love or if he wanted to use me for the immunity I could provide him. "I know you don't know me—" I cut him off.
"I know you more deeply than others, seeing you like this. Seeing you for who and what you are. For who you want to be." I traced the bat symbol on his chest lightly. "I know enough to believe I'd fall for you. But I can't stake your humanity for my own selfishness." I liked him. I liked his determination and his valor. I liked how he wanted Gotham to change, even if he was going about it in a strange way. But what he was asking of me was a cruelty to him. Especially if things didn't work out between us the way we were hoping.
"I'll stake it for you." He took the top part of his suit off. Baring his skin for me, Bruce pulled me towards him. "Do it." There was no choice. If this was what he wanted, if I was what he wanted— he'd find someone else to turn him. And knowing the type of people who turned me, there was a good chance he might be drained from lack of restraint. He'd die.
I leaned in closer to him, taking in the scent of his skin. One thing I truly did enjoy about my state was that humans didn't smell like how they smelled when I was one of them. Biologically, they changed from being my equals into being things I fed from. The blood that flowed through every inch of them, the pheromones they unknowingly released— every part of a human's body was something vampires were curated to crave. His scent was intoxicating, and I was positive separating myself from him would be one of the most difficult things I had to do. "I need to prepare myself for the taste of you." I muttered, feeling the way my breath grazed his skin with each word. My lips were practically touching the pale of his shoulder, my head dazed from the feeling of breathing him in. Bruce led my face to his, craning down to meet me— but he didn't move any closer.
"Wouldn't this be simpler?" He whispered. It was only then that I realized my fear that night was calmed by the lust I had for his blood. I've been driven into a hazy fog, completely malleable and his to manipulate. There wasn't one clear thought in my head that didn't completely revolve around him. But I didn't have to think anymore. I closed the gap between us and he pulled me further into him. I couldn't taste his blood like this, but I could feel his warmth and lose myself in it. The feeling of him pressing against me, the way he was holding me so desperately; I lost myself in him for just a moment. I pushed away from him, giving him the air he needed and taking the chance to move his jaw to the side. His neck was exposed to me, but I knew better than to bite him there. No matter how strong the urge to devour him was, my need to love and be loved was stronger.
I pressed my tongue to the skin I was so tempted to bite, drunk from just the taste of his flesh. “Lay down, I don't want you passing out in case I can't stop right away.” He followed my command only to pull me on top of him and into his lips. He was kissing me just for the sake of doing so. “Bruce,” His name slipped from my mouth in a whimper which seemed to only encourage him— but I backed off. I needed to cling to what little sense I had. If I let him go further with me while he was still human, I wouldn't have the ability to hold myself back. I could kill him, and I knew better than to let myself lose rationale.
“I'm sorry,” His face morphed with worry, hands reaching to hold me. “I shouldn't have—” I cut him off by biting into the muscle where his neck met his shoulders. I could feel the way he held my head closer to him, fingers buried in my hair. The moment his blood hit my tongue all of my thought was lost. He was so indescribably sweet that my brain couldn't wrap around the amount of pleasure I was in. My own euphoria was incomprehensible, and the only word I could think of was more. I wanted more of him, I needed more of him— all of him. And yet my arms pushed me off of him on their own, reluctantly I let him go.
The sight of him was beautiful. Orange hues painting his skin, blood flowing in smooth, rhythmic pumps from his vein, eyes captivating even through the smudged black liner. I pressed my hand firm against the wound, still straddling his lap from what we've done. Something in me knew that things would work out. That this wasn't some horrible mistake.
I could see on his face that he knew it too.
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THIS WAS SO BAD IM SORRY💀 i had a vision right but i couldn't encapsulate it without multiple parts and we are Not having another beware situation — like and reblog pleasw😢🙏
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edenmemes · 3 years
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ghost of tsushima starters
❝ promise you’ll remain the good man i know. ❞   ❝ only fools have no fear of death. ❞   ❝ i am very much alive. but my patience is dying. ❞   ❝ i’ll make sure you are remembered. as a great warrior...a wise leader. ❞   ❝ the strength we need is all around us. ❞   ❝ the past cannot hurt you. ❞   ❝ this whole journey, and i never asked your name. ❞   ❝ fear drives you to be stronger. fight harder. ❞ ❝ sometimes...our only choice is to walk away from everything we know ❞ ❝ we do what we must. that is why you and i are both survivors. ❞ ❝ i can do good! i just...need practice. ❞ ❝ may your next life be more peaceful than this one. ❞ ❝ i knew it was too good to be true. ❞ ❝ i'll see what i can do. but if you’re lying to me... ❞ ❝ you’re too comfortable with that power. ❞ ❝ don’t ever try to kill me again. ❞ ❝ turn your back on a foe...and you will die with a sword stuck in it. ❞ ❝ youre not slipping away that easily. ❞ ❝ just stay closed. keep your sword sheathed. and let me do the talking. ❞ ❝ the things i saw still haunt my nightmares. ❞ ❝ i dont even know if you're real. ❞ ❝ victories don’t have to feel good. ❞   ❝ killing your own family...it’s harder than you could ever imagine. ❞   ❝ it’s safer for everyone if i just disappear. ❞   ❝ next time, leave some glory for the rest of us. ❞   ❝ peace doesn’t always come quietly. ❞   ❝ some people respond to kindness. others require a glimpse of steel. ❞ ❝ i am nothing if not honest. ❞ ❝ stop using people, and start thinking about how you can help them. ❞ ❝ you’ve had your vengeance. don’t stand in the way of mine. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to do it alone. ❞ ❝ not all words need to be spoken. ❞   ❝ there is time yet for revenge. i will savour their cries of pain when that time comes. ❞ ❝ i have learned to love the cool, damp dark. ❞ ❝ the last thing i saw was faces filled with hatred, rage... ❞ ❝ you didn’t think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you? ❞ ❝ we will celebrate when this is all over. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with you? one moment we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, the next you’re ready to cross blades. ❞ ❝ a warrior learns from their mistakes, or they are buried by them. ❞ ❝ remember your training...and never leave my side. ❞ ❝ well...i guess this is goodbye. ❞ ❝ your visions will grow worse, driving you to madness and death. ❞ ❝ i can only pretend for so much longer. i’m not like these people and never will be. ❞ ❝ i loved you all my life, but i could never work up the courage to tell you. ❞ ❝ the proud do not last, and the mightiest of us perish like dust before the wind. ❞ ❝ you’re a vision of mercy. ❞ ❝ not bad, but only half-good. ❞ ❝ we make a good team, don’t we? ❞ ❝ an archer’s aim relies not on eyes...but on body, mind, and spirit. ❞ ❝ this is my fight. i don’t need your weapon. ❞ ❝ being right doesn’t always make things better. ❞ ❝ there is nothing easier than to prey upon the vanity of ambitious men. ❞ ❝ you weren’t looking so good. i let you rest. ❞ ❝ your intentions this time were...better than usual. ❞ ❝ what are you not telling me? ❞ ❝ trouble sticks to you like shit on rice. ❞ ❝ it’s strange being back after so many years...everywhere i look brings back memories. ❞ ❝ only a child expects perfection of their elders. ❞ ❝ when this is all over, what will you do? ❞ ❝ you are ruled by your emotion. ❞ ❝ is this how you want to be remembered? ❞ ❝ perhaps great men share all the aspects of their lessers, but more. great wisdom, but even greater cruelty. ❞ ❝ i cannot imagine the burden a leader like you must bear. ❞ ❝ our greatest enemies are the greatest teachers. ❞ ❝ death’s shadow embraces me. hand in hand we walk. ❞ ❝ breathe. you can’t fight if you hold your breath. ❞ ❝ i know you well enough by now, my friend. ❞ ❝ i can’t go back...to what i was. before this. ❞ ❝ i hope you one day forgive me for the choice i made. ❞ ❝ the wounds you dealt my spirit will never heal. ❞ ❝ why did you turn away from me? ❞ ❝ if you can keep moving forward, so can i. ❞ ❝ it’s a bad idea to sneak up on me. ❞ ❝ promise me something. don’t become like me. ❞ ❝ let me undo the damage i’ve done. ❞ ❝ ...and you want me to clean up your mess. ❞ ❝ the path ahead may take a lifetime, but i will walk it with you. always. ❞ ❝ whatever you believe i’ve become, i will always be your family. ❞ ❝ i wouldn’t be here without you. ❞ ❝ i’ll hunt you past the horizon if i must. ❞ ❝ can i count on you to do what needs to be done? ❞ ❝ that’s over now. you’re here. with me. ❞ ❝ i thought i’d lost you, i should’ve known you’d never give up. ❞ ❝ you can’t continue down this path. ❞ ❝ be careful. demons are everywhere and they fear nothing. ❞ ❝ corpses can’t answer questions. ❞ ❝ you deserve greater respect than this. ❞ ❝ it’s just like the stories my father told me. ❞ ❝ what you become tomorrow is your choice. ❞ ❝ just ask the last man who questioned my sincerity. you’ll find his head covered in flies out back. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t have lied. i still would have helped you. ❞ ❝ we came this far. we’re not turning back now. ❞ ❝ how do we survive if we don’t trust each other? ❞ ❝ without my help, the fear and pain will overwhelm you. ❞ ❝ whatever happens, we don’t retreat. ❞ ❝ the stories are true. i’ve never seen anyone fight like you. ❞ ❝ see how the enemy fear you? you are a true warrior. ❞ ❝ you want to share a drink...with me? ❞ ❝ maybe you should’ve just ran away. like you always do. ❞ ❝ good people have nothing to fear from me. ❞ ❝ your promises are just like you. worthless. ❞ ❝ as you wish, since you asked so sweetly. ❞ ❝ i know better than to argue. ❞ ❝ i hope i can find quiet places like this one, untouched by war. ❞ ❝ we grew up together, but you threw it all away. ❞ ❝ it was so chaotic. i felt you grip my wrist and then nothing. ❞ ❝ desperation can bring out the demon in the best of men. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to leave without you, but...i can’t stay. i hope you understand. ❞ ❝ a grown man, and you still can barely sit still. ❞ ❝ and i heard you had no sense of humor! ❞ ❝ knowing and doing are different. ❞ ❝ trouble follows me everywhere. ❞ ❝ indulging violence weakens the warrior...like too much food or drink. ❞ ❝ i can always tell when you want to ask me something. out with it. ❞ ❝ i am proud to fight beside you. ❞ ❝ i didn’t nurse you back to health to watch you throw your life away. ❞ ❝ all i want...all i need is to start a new life. ❞ ❝ look twice and shoot once. ❞ ❝ i think they’re afraid of you. you can be...intimidating.. ❞ ❝ you don’t even try to hear me. it’s like talking to a stone. ❞ ❝ so you try to kill me? have you lost your mind? ❞ ❝ you’ve sacrificed everything. for revenge. ❞ ❝ we can’t let anger consume us. or blind us to our friends. ❞ ❝ there is only one way this ends. ❞ ❝ i gave you everything. and you threw it away. ❞ ❝ do not question my integrity again. ❞ ❝ your father would be proud. ❞ ❝ the worst one can do is take advantage of their own people. ❞ ❝ you follow trouble. you should ask yourself why.  ❞ ❝ some of my favourite memories happened at this place. ❞ ❝ i told you this was a bad idea! ❞ ❝ keep fighting. we need people like you. ❞ ❝ are you the one who finally kills me? ❞ ❝ a warrior’s most important weapon is themself. lose control, and you risk defeat. ❞ ❝ first, get some rest. this is killing you. ❞ ❝ see that? i told you. there’s always hope. ❞ ❝ i hope the skills i gained through hardship can be of use to the people here. ❞ ❝ you have skill...but you nearly died rushing into battle. ❞ ❝ in the midst of battle, true leaders must stay rooted, stand firm. ❞ ❝ every time i get in a mess like this, i’m as scared as the time before. ❞ ❝ don’t be the next to disappoint me. ❞ ❝ save what we can, but know that everything passes away. ❞ ❝ i hope you understand, this is just a job. ❞ ❝ that’s a sad way to look at the world. ❞ ❝ seeing you like that...i’m still shaken up. ❞ ❝ sit with me a moment. ❞ ❝ doubt and indecision have destroyed armies. ❞ ❝ it’s so painful to...see you weighed down by sadness. ❞ ❝ on the slim chance some good comes of this...lead the way. ❞ ❝ you fought well, but we’re finished. ❞ ❝ the warrior’s mind is quiet but alive, like rustling bamboo. ❞ ❝ i’ve trained with a blade since i could walk. ❞ ❝ the visions...they’re still happening. ❞ ❝ in our world, being intimidating isn’t a bad thing. ❞ ❝ you have a talent. it’s time you use it, for the sake of our land. ❞ ❝ i've tried to teach you all i know...but you act more like a poet than a warrior. ❞ ❝ your path leads to madness and death. ❞ ❝ that’s twice you saved my life. ❞ ❝ these people stay because they believe in you. ❞ ❝ i didn’t choose this life. it was my only option. ❞ ❝ you came at me like i was your mortal enemy. almost broke my arm! ❞ ❝ i could use your help...in the fight ahead. ❞ ❝ you can be a little rough, but you have a good heart. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to kill you, stop! ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? afraid i’ll get more famous than you? ❞ ❝ war brings out who we truly are. ❞ ❝ take care where you place your faith. ❞ ❝ you seem lost in thought. ❞ ❝ i was getting tired of waiting for you. ❞ ❝ without my wisdom, you will lose your soul to madness. ❞ ❝ peace is an unattainable dream...but a dream worth fighting for. ❞ ❝ i’ve killed a thousand men. every death was sweet. ❞ ❝ what is the point of prayer when we are doomed? ❞ ❝ you’re like your father in more ways than you know. ❞ ❝ if you want my respect, earn it. ❞ ❝ and how many wars have you fought? ❞ ❝ you’re quite the butcher with that sword. ❞ ❝ people who sow chaos must be punished. ❞ ❝ i can’t help but wonder if you enjoy the violence. ❞ ❝ i kill only to protect our people. i think about that every time i reach for my sword. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry if my lack of skill offends. ❞ ❝ it’s the first time in days i haven’t felt like i was about to die. ❞ ❝ you fought like an animal...or a demon! ❞ ❝ there’s nothing more painful to me than a perfect bow...ineptly used. ❞ ❝ victory is won by warriors, not weapons. ❞ ❝ i couldn’t leave you to die. ❞ ❝ i made my choices. even knowing what they’ve cost me, i’d make them again. ❞ ❝ when’s the last time you slept or ate? ❞ ❝ you don’t get to give up. this land needs you. ❞ ❝ oh you pretend we are different, but we fight for the same thing. ❞ ❝ there are still places of beauty to remind us of what truly matters. ❞ ❝ true mastery begins where individual ego ends. ❞ ❝ a warrior faces danger with courage and resolve. this is how they endure. ❞ ❝ those stories...they're not entirely true. ❞ ❝ even the youngest warrior needs a full belly and a rested sword-arm. ❞ ❝ bad men are good at hiding their true natures. ❞ ❝ there is nothing left for me here. my hope is lost. ❞ ❝ i did what i had to. for you. ❞ ❝ forgive my manners. i spent all my time alone. ❞ ❝ is that any way to greet a visitor? ❞ ❝ if you continue down this path...you’ll be no better than the enemy. ❞ ❝ i am grateful for the times we share...but, i always want more. ❞ ❝ you lived your life in a castle. it made you soft. ❞ ❝ i used to know what i fought for... ❞ ❝ face them as a warrior with honour. not a monster. ❞ ❝ i don’t take lives, but i am not a coward. ❞ ❝ i wonder if i’ve crossed a line. ❞ ❝ you can’t expect everyone to understand what you’re doing, or why. ❞ ❝ your methods were brutal...impulsive...without honour. ❞ ❝ there’s plenty to fear without worrying about folktales. ❞ ❝ i hope you’ll find peace again soon. ❞ ❝ you do what you need to survive. and yet you despise others for doing the same. ❞ ❝ is that your excuse? your reason to kill? ❞ ❝ we have to keep pushing. even if it costs us our lives. ❞ ❝ cowards without honour deserve no mercy. ❞ ❝ i’ll fight beside you until the end. ❞ ❝ whatever happens, your forgiveness won’t change who i am. ❞ ❝ why should we settle for scraps when we deserve to be legends? ❞ ❝ only cowards strike from the shadows. ❞ ❝ the proud do not endure. the greatest of us fall in the end. ❞ ❝ perhaps some good will come of this. ❞   ❝ you will see nothing but death to the end of your days. ❞ ❝ legacy is more than a name. ❞ ❝ im sorry. i know what it means to lose family. ❞ ❝ one day we'll escape the endless wheel of suffering. ❞ ❝ is that a 'thank you'? ❞ ❝ i know what it means to be hunted. ❞ ❝ you personify fury and regret. ❞ ❝ that's all right. i want to hear you dig your own grave. ❞ ❝ either way, we’ve got nothing to lose. ❞ ❝ i’ve done what i can. the rest is up to you. ❞ ❝ forgive me, but you look fatigued. have you endured much hardship? ❞    ❝ i hope you find true honour in your next life. ❞ ❝ you deserve nothing less than death. ❞ ❝ this is foolish. surrender, and you can live. ❞ ❝ i too have pride in family. and i know what it’s like to live in their shadow. ❞ ❝ you were gone so long, i knew you were in trouble. ❞ ❝ so many of us here owe you our lives. ❞ ❝ what's wrong? what did they do to you? ❞   ❝ you’re lucky to be alive. ❞ ❝ i know your language. your traditions. your beliefs. which village to tame and which to burn. ❞   ❝ i cannot lose you again. ❞   ❝ i don’t seek revenge. but i will fight for peace. ❞   ❝ we will meet again soon. until then...travel safely. ❞   ❝ this is war --- not a test. ❞ ❝ we can save our home together. it doesn’t have to be like this. ❞ ❝ fear is a weapon. don’t let them use it against you. ❞
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A Game of Jealousy
Word count: 4050
This one is focused more from Loki's perspective, lots of fluff (and tickles!) Guest starring Bucky 😎
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Loki never needed anyone to make him happy. He’d spent the better part of his life on his own, learning to rely on himself and not others for comfort. He’d been lied to his entire life by his parents, and while his relationship with his brother was at least improving gradually over time, he still remained very guarded, afraid that anyone he let in would only hurt him the way everyone else in his life had done. No, Loki felt he was better off alone.
That is, until he met you.
You had joined the team about a year ago, just a few months after Loki himself had finally given in to his brother’s persistent requests for him to move into the Avengers tower. The others were polite enough, but Loki could still sense the fear and anger in their eyes when they looked his way. Thor insisted they would warm up to him over time if he’d just try to be more sociable, but it was difficult to bring himself to want to spend time with people who burned holes into his soul with their eyes.
The day you had arrived to move into the tower to join the team, your few belongings in hand, his curiosity was piqued almost instantly. Steve had showed you around that first day, introducing you to all the members of the team. Loki had been in the study, reading in one of the oversized armchairs Tony had furnished the place with, when he saw Steve walking by the doorway with you in tow. You’d paused for a moment, taking a few paces backward to peek inside the room, eyes trained on Loki. He had braced himself for the inevitable exclamation of surprise and fear when you realized that you were living in the same building as the monster who tried to take over the city.
But it never came. You had merely smiled at him, waving in greeting, and introduced yourself as you would with anyone else. Even when he told you his name, your eyes lit up in recognition, but without an ounce of fear. You had hurried along to catch up with Steve after expressing your pleasure to have met him, a slight bounce in your step as you disappeared from sight.
He couldn’t deny it – he was intrigued by you.
Loki’s interest only grew as he began to get to know you more over the next couple of months. The first day he had seen you working with Natasha in the training room, you had impressed him with your grit and determination, not to mention the graceful ferocity with which you fought. And you were smart, too. He’d never forget the day Tony was teasing you, and you’d come up with such a witty retort that even Tony had to applaud you.
Unfortunately, Loki wasn’t the only one in the tower who had started noticing you.
As you became more integrated with the team, the others began to get more physically affectionate toward you. You spent a lot of time with Wanda, often leaning against her on the couch as you watched TV or giving her hand a squeeze when one of you was excited about something. Steve often put a comforting hand on your shoulder after a rough day of training or patted your back in encouragement when you came back from a successful mission. The friendly gestures never bothered Loki to any significant degree.
But there were other team members, notably single team members, whose advances tended to irk him more than the others. Thor was one of the worst offenders, as it was in his nature to wrap any one of his friends into a giant bear hug whenever he saw them. Bucky often liked to push your buttons, teasing you and egging you on until you’d start play wrestling with him on the couch. Even Bruce, on occasion, would wrap an arm around you in a side hug and squeeze you against his side for a moment in silent thanks whenever you’d help him with something in the lab.
He wasn’t jealous, of course. He just… wished they’d give you more personal space sometimes.
You were physically affectionate with Loki as well, which took some time for him to get used to at first. Once Loki started swallowing his pride and began initiating conversations with you instead of waiting for you to talk to him, the two of you became fast friends. He found he didn’t mind it when you squeezed his arm after a jump scare during team movie night, or if you rested your head on his shoulder on a long plane ride home from a mission. Dare he say… he even enjoyed it a bit. Recently, he’d developed enough confidence to initiate physical contact with you himself – giving you a quick hug goodnight when walking you to your room after a late-night conversation or resting his hand on your knee when sitting side by side on the couch.
Yes, you were someone he was willing to tolerate.
One evening, Loki was wandering through the compound, trying to find a quiet place to sit and read. Normally he lounged in the study, but it seemed Peter had overtaken the room with his schoolbooks as he studied frantically for one of his final exams the next day, and he showed no signs of leaving. He decided it would be easiest just to read in his room tonight but decided to swing by the kitchen to grab a glass of water before making his way back there.
As he paced down the hallway, a sound coming from the common room captured his attention. He drew near enough to the door to elucidate that it was your bright, infectious laughter that he was hearing. His heart swelled at the sound. Loki very much enjoyed making you laugh, often telling you embarrassing stories of Thor from their childhood, or otherwise whispering inappropriate jokes in your ear during team meetings, just so he could hear you snort before erupting with giggles. He reached the common room and stood in the doorway, trying to identify the cause for your hysterics.
You and Bucky were sitting on the large sofa in the common room. Although, admittedly, you couldn’t really call it sitting. You were leaning away from the super soldier, giggling frantically and swatting at his hands as he wiggled his fingers into your sides.
“Buckyhyhy! Cut it out!” you ordered, grasping at his wrists. Bucky’s agile hands evaded yours, poking and prodding at your belly and sides.
“What? What’s the matter? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish,” he teased, squeezing gently above your kneecaps, and eliciting a squeal.
A pang of jealousy stung in Loki’s chest. He had discovered your ticklishness a few months ago himself, having accidentally jabbed you a bit too gently in the side during an impromptu sparring session. When he dug his fingers into your torso with more intent, you had shrieked and laughed, but hadn’t pushed away as hard as he knew you could. He interpreted it as you enjoying the playfulness, or at least not minding it all that much. Since then, he had experimented on occasion, proudly discovering over time that you were definitely most sensitive right along your ribs where your back and sides met. He delighted in the silly, giggly mess you became when he scribbled his fingers into that spot, practically melting into his side as your muscles weakened with laughter.
Now, watching you and Bucky as he tested out your vulnerable spots, he felt his throat tighten a bit. He knew he had to find a way to interrupt this little exchange without letting on how he was really feeling inside. Luckily, the God of Mischief knew how to tell a good lie, and above all he most definitely knew how to spin a partial truth.
“You’re doing it wrong, Barnes,” he called into the room, leaning with his forearm propped against the doorway. Both you and Bucky glanced up at him, Bucky’s fingers slowing a bit against the back of your knee but not quite stopping.
“L-Lokihihi! Help!” you pleaded, a bright smile on your face, cheeks tinged with the exertion of your laughter. His heart skipped a bit at the request, proud that you would seek his assistance to escape the winter soldier. But he had to hold firm in his resolve. He couldn’t let you think he was soft for you, after all.
“Now, why would I want to do that? It’s so entertaining to watch you squirm.” He flashed you an evil grin, slowly striding into the room. “Move over, Barnes. Allow me to demonstrate.”
Bucky obliged, an equally mischievous smirk on his face. “Please, do tell!”
Loki motioned to you to scoot closer to Bucky so he could sit on your other side, gently pushing you over when you refused to make space for him on your own accord. You were now sandwiched between him and the super soldier, glancing nervously between the two men. In a desperate attempt to escape, you suddenly leapt to your feet to make a run for the door. Loki predicted your movement, his hands pulling you back down by your waist before you could even fully stand up.
“Ah, ah! You won’t be going anywhere, darling,” Loki teased, holding you in place while he leaned around you to look at Bucky. He ignored your desperate protests in favor of keeping you trapped there beside him. “Now then. First, you must understand that you won’t be able to access her worst spot until you weaken her adequately. Personally, I enjoy beginning right here.” He slid his hands slid around your waist to your belly, fingers drumming tauntingly against your T-shirt. Loki felt your muscles stiffen immediately under his touch, which made him grin.
“Loki! What the hell! Why are you helpihiHING HIHIHIM?” Your scolding of your mischievous friend was made much less intimidating as giggles bubbled from your lips once again, Loki’s fingers having sprung into action, expertly skimming across your belly. Your hands closed around his wrists and tugged to try to remove them from your sensitive torso, but Loki maintained his hold on you.
“Ah, yes, I see that is quite effective,” Bucky noted somberly, his eyes flashing. “Please, continue to show me your ways.”
“Notice that she will continue to fight you when you tickle her here, but trust that her laughter is slowly beginning to weaken her,” Loki continued, conversing casually as if he weren’t torturing you. “However, if you aren’t cautious-“
“Ha!” you shouted triumphantly, having twisted out of his grip and jumped to your feet.
“-she may find a way to escape.”
“That is unfortunate,” Bucky lamented. “What do you suggest if that were to occur?”
“No! No suggestions!” you demanded, defiantly holding out a hand toward the boys to protect yourself. Loki raised his eyebrows, looking up at you with a serious expression, although he was unable to prevent a smirk from pulling at the corners of his lips. You appeared so much more composed on the battlefield and in the training room – seeing you so disheveled, yet still with an involuntary smile on your face, made a thrill run through Loki’s chest.
“If she does escape,” Loki continued, completely disregarding your protests, and trying desperately not to start laughing at your adorably indignant expression, “you simply need to ensure you have a backup plan. Catch her off guard, if you will. Like this-“
Taking advantage of his inhuman speed, he lunged forward and grabbed your leg just behind your knee, causing your leg to buckle unexpectedly beneath you. He chuckled as he watched you stumble a bit on your other leg to try to remain standing but couldn’t maintain your balance and toppled to the floor. Loki swiftly took advantage of your bewilderment at finding yourself suddenly on the ground, standing up and grabbing hold of your ankle.
“Now, you won’t find her worst spot on her legs or feet, but she is most definitely still sensitive here – this can serve to weaken her resolve further,” Loki continued, fully aware that he was causing a blush to rise in your cheeks now as he tugged on your ankle to straighten your leg, yanking you onto your back. You began cursing at him, which he quickly silenced by dusting his fingertips across the sole of your trapped foot. He had discovered this spot a few weeks ago, when you had refused to move your legs to allow him a place to sit. Not to be deterred, he had plopped himself down atop your shins, grinning at you as he had tested your reaction to his fingers dragging up the bottoms of your feet. The frenzied giggles this elicited from you were some of his favorites, only encouraging him to want to continue with the torment.
“But what about her knees? Will that help to weaken her resolve?” Bucky queried, smirking down at you as you shot him a glare.
“Allow me to show you,” Loki obliged, his hand moving to scratch against the delicate underside of your knee. You snorted, then, and he nearly broke his façade by laughing aloud. He experimentally pinched your calf muscle gently, just below your knee, and was not disappointed by your sudden violent jerking of your leg away from his touch. “Ah, a new weak spot. You see, even being an expert at tormenting our little friend, you can still learn something new.” Loki was speaking to Bucky but kept his eyes trained on you, smirking as you beat your fist against the floor in protest.
“I thought wehehe were friends!!” you cried through your laughter. Feeling somewhat merciful, Loki paused his torture and lowered your leg back to the ground, offering you a hand up.
“I apologize, darling; are you tired of this?” Loki asked, holding a hand down to you in offering to help you to your feet. He kept his hand outstretched as you sat up on the floor, your eyes fixed on his, brows furrowed as if trying to decipher whether he was tricking you. Hesitantly, you took his hand. Your skin was pleasantly warm against his own, which almost made him regret what he was about to do.
Almost.
No sooner had your feet rooted onto the ground beneath you did he grab hold of your arm, spinning you around and wrapping both arms tight around your waist. He wasted no time dragging you backward so your back was flush against his chest, his ticklish touch making its way to your lower ribs. You let out a shriek, followed by rambunctious belly laughter. He relished in the feeling of your giggles vibrating against his chest as he tightened his grip around your waist, holding fast against your desperate thrashing.
“If you can convince the girl to trust you,” he continued, having to speak loudly to be heard over your squealing, “an unwise decision, honestly,” he added, his voice rumbling low in your ear, “you may be able to trick her into falling into your trap.” You screamed his name as he walked his fingers agonizingly slowly up your ribcage, your fingers hooking around his wrists and pulling desperately at his hands.
“An excellent tip, thanks for that,” Bucky teased. You whined at his words, which somehow only made your laughter even more adorable. Loki had the sudden urge to squeeze you tighter and nuzzle his nose into your neck, but he thought that you might interpret such a gesture as a flirtatious advance, and he didn’t want to spoil this little game.
At this point you were doubled over, hands weakly tugging at Loki’s fingers as your muscles began to fatigue. Loki could sense that you were leaning more and more of your weight on his arms as you tired, forcing him to tighten his grip even further to keep you from collapsing onto the floor. He slowed his torment a bit, allowing you a moment to rest. You gasped for air, your chest heaving under his forearms with every breath.
“Notice, Barnes, that she has weakened considerably by this point,” Loki explained, continuing under the ruse of showing Bucky how to torture you. “It is only at this level of exhaustion that you will be able to target her one true weak spot.”
Loki felt you jolt at his suggestion, twisting your torso as much as you could in his vice-like grip to look back at him, wide-eyed. You shook your head, pleading with him. He hardened his expression, albeit with some difficulty as he was struggling to wipe the smile off his face, and he splayed his fingers across your ribs so his fingertips rested just along that overly sensitive spot near your back on each side. You were already giggling, bracing yourself for the inevitable torment that was to come.
“Ahahahaha… please Loki, you dohohon’t have to do thihihis!” you begged, pouting at him. Loki couldn’t help but laugh at that, his heart melting at your tiny frown and protruding bottom lip. For a moment, he considered releasing you. But then again, he was getting drunk off of your sweet laughter, and he wasn’t ready for it to stop.
“Sorry, love – I have to show Barnes how to tickle you properly,” he lamented, a faux sympathetic smile on his lips. Before you could beg him once more and break his resolve, he went in for the kill, fingers drilling into the crevices between your ribs. You screeched, torso jerking in his grip for a moment before going limp as you accepted your fate. Loki knew exactly how to tickle you, his fingers expertly vibrating against your ribcage until your laughter became silent. He finally relented after that, loosening his hold so you could catch your breath but not releasing you yet.
With his arms loosened, he could lean around to get a better view of your face. Your cheeks were bright, small tears of mirth collecting in the corners of your eyes. You still had a smile plastered across your face, so wide it caused your nose to scrunch up the tiniest bit. Loki’s heart fluttered at the sight of you, pleased that he had been the cause of your giddy laughter.
“That was an excellent demonstration,” Bucky observed, winking at you as you groaned. “Could I give it a go?”
Loki hesitated, and you stiffened, already arguing with the super soldier. He had anticipated this might occur, given he was supposedly teaching Bucky how to tickle you ‘correctly.’ Still, the idea of having to watch Bucky’s fingers skittering over your belly or scribbling into your knees made his throat burn with jealousy. If he refused, though, he would almost surely give away his feelings.
Reluctantly, though he hid it well, Loki motioned for Bucky to take his place behind you, releasing you only once Bucky’s arms snaked around your waist. Your pleas for mercy were quickly drowned out by your laughter once again as Bucky’s fingers spidered along your ribcage.
“You weren’t kidding – this is much more effective,” Bucky noted, your resolve already weakened from the prior bout of torment. Loki watched as you leaned involuntarily backward into the winter soldier, your head resting back against his shoulder as you submitted to his ticklish onslaught. Loki’s fingers contracted into a tight fist at his side, willing himself not to intervene and give away his displeasure. But damn it, if watching Bucky’s fingers exploring your ticklish sides wasn’t setting a fire in his belly. It felt as though someone had grabbed hold of his heart in his chest and was squeezing it painfully tightly in their clutches.
He couldn’t take it anymore.
Knowing you wouldn’t appreciate if he lashed out at your friend, Loki placed a firm hand on Bucky’s forearm, urging him to stop without saying a word. Confusion etched itself into Bucky’s features as he stilled his fingers against your sides, his grip around you loosening. Your eyes were shimmering with exertion as you looked up at Loki pleadingly.
“I believe she has had enough for today,” Loki stated sternly. He took a step toward the two of you, swiftly scooping you up bridal style in his arms without a second thought. You let out a squeak of surprise as your feet left the ground, your arms instinctively reaching up to wrap around Loki’s neck to stabilize yourself. He turned back around with you in his arms, looking Bucky in the eye. “I’ll be taking her now, thank you.”
Bucky held Loki’s gaze, his face contorting from confusion to surprise, then finally to a knowing smirk. He nodded in approval, waving him off nonchalantly as he returned to his original seat on the couch and turned on the television. Loki carried you out of the room, a fuzzy warmth spreading through his chest as you began to giggle once again, leaning your head into his shoulder.
He arrived at your room, opening the door with his magic so as not to risk dropping you, then turned to avoid striking your head on the doorframe as he carried you inside. Carefully, he set you down on your bed. You sat up, your legs dangling off the edge of the bed as you smiled up at him.
“Your savior has rescued you from the winter soldier’s clutches,” Loki teased, smirking.
“Excuse me – my savior? If I recall, you were the one who nearly tickled me to death,” you retorted, playfully shoving him as he sat down beside you on the bed.
“You enjoyed every minute of it, love,” he smirked, giving you a swift poke in the side to make you jump. You smirked back at him with mischief in your eyes.
“You know, I know exactly what you were doing back there.” Something in your calculated gaze made Loki’s heartbeat quicken ever so slightly.
“Is that so? And what is it you think I was doing?” Loki asked, trying to keep his tone casual and sarcastic to avoid giving himself away. You leaned closer to him, bravely holding his gaze.
“You were jealous of Bucky,” you declared. “You couldn’t stand to see him with his hands on me, even when it was as innocent as tickling. You don’t think I noticed?”
Loki opened his mouth to retort, but for quite possibly the first time in his life, the silver-tongued god was at a loss for words. You maddeningly perceptive thing. You’d seen straight through his little façade and into his heart. Your eyes glowed with the triumph of having silenced the God of Mischief with just a simple observation.
“Do you deny it?” you queried, your grin expanding. Loki sighed, recognizing he’d been caught.
“No, love. I can’t deny it.”
“Good.” Your hand reached up to touch his cheek, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. The shock of your sudden advance was quickly replaced by elation, and Loki kissed you back fervently. His hands found your waist, gently grasping your hips with enough weight in his touch to keep from tickling you. He felt you smile sweetly against his lips. When you finally broke away, Loki lifted his hands to cup your face, resting his forehead against yours. “Now then – I believe I’m owed some payback for the torture you just put me through…”
“Oh, really?” Loki raised his eyebrows at you, grinning playfully. “And how do you intend to execute such revenge?”
“Hmm… Maybe I’ll just take a page out of your book.” The mischief in your eye reminded him uncannily of himself. He suddenly felt your delicate fingers squeezing into his side, making him jolt. Your face lit up with pure joy as you witnessed his reaction.
Oh, he couldn’t be having that.
His arms were wrapped around you in a flash, dragging you into his chest and leaning backward until you were lying on top of his chest in his arms, eliciting a squeal. He leaned in close, his lips right beside your ear.
“Darling, you don’t want to be doing that.”
The room was soon filled with your frantic giggles once again. But this time, you really didn’t try to get away. Because in all honesty, he was right before – you loved every minute of it.
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babydaddyleorio · 3 years
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Say Goodbye [illumi x reader]
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pairings: illumi zoldyck x reader
summary: in which it is time to say goodbye.
warnings: slight cursing, unedited, and angst!
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Illumi couldn’t stop his feet from beating against the slippery grass, the murky puddles that loitered the ground splashing harshly behind him. His eyes darted around the empty forest as worry seeped into his vision, but no matter how persistent his resolve was to find you, Illumi still found himself to be empty handed.
“Dammit Illumi, get back here!” Silva’s voice rang throughout the clearing, so loud that all the trees shook and the now startled birds scattered panicked across the grey sky. Illumi on the other hand remained unscathed and focused even harder on his goal at hand. He could care less about his enraged father at this moment simply because you were the only thing occupying his mind.
Illumi was by no means a rebellious child, in fact, he had followed his family’s strict regime with no quarrels for years to be frank. Bending the rules was always Killua’s thing, whereas Illumi was bestowed with the responsibility of being the example among his siblings, demonstrating how a proper assassin should always behave. It was simply not in Illumi’s code to defy the long and valued tradition of the Zoldyck’s, and It was indeed his duty to be the ideal son that his parent’s wanted him as.
And yet, for some odd reason, Illumi no longer could fathom those previous thoughts whenever his eyes would fall on to that one particular person that he would see roaming the estate each time he would prowl the dark hallways. His judgement vanished whenever you would accidently bump into him with an apologetic bow following afterward, and his hard exterior weakened when you’d greet him in the mornings with a warm smile and a polite wave each time your paths intersected. 
Illumi couldn’t help the sudden yearning he felt, the newfound want to venture away from the route he was trained to follow; and his strife was made clear each time he sensed his mind becoming cloudy when he’d be granted the seldom chance to caress your skin, or even when his lips would sensually trace the curvature of your shoulder and stamp loving kisses along your neck. This feeling was foreign to Illumi, and he could not quite wrap his mind around the way he lost all knowledge of the driving ambition that he once had.
Why, Illumi pondered as he continued to sprint after you, why did disobeying come so easily whenever his mind wandered to you. The Zoldyck reputation became worthless and redundant to him and Illumi couldn’t help the growing suffocating desire of always having you beside him. One could say that you had Illumi wrapped around your finger, as well as you being the only one that could ever break down his concrete walls and see the boy that had been yearning for warmth for so long hiding behind them. The two of you fell in love at some point in time, yet you were bestowed with no opportunity to ever express your love openly which meant it was strictly for behind closed doors. There were rules in the Zoldyck estate, one being that a person of your caliber could never even dream of being with a Zoldyck such as Illumi.
Or so, that was until now.
Illumi’s long, raven hair thrashed wildly in the wind and his wide eyes started to slowly close as he felt tears build up in them. Illumi was supposed to be void of any emotion, he was trained to be. So why did the lone thought of losing you make him want to weep violently under the overcast at this moment? Why was a life without you so frightening to him, so much so that he currently found himself abandoning his own wedding just so he could be with you?
Ah yes, today was supposed to be a special day.
His mother had spent months preparing for the big milestone, dreaming and fawning at the thought of her eldest finally being able to tie the knot. Silva lacked the enthusiasm his wife radiated simply because this was a professional and fated exchange that would’ve been arranged regardless if he liked it or not. He saw It as something that was bound to happen to Illumi and It was certainly necessary to secure the Zoldyck bloodline. Most of all, Silva wasn’t worried in the slightest about trivial matters such as love or connection because he knew that Illumi felt the same way as he did and would marry the bribe no matter what.
“Y/n!” Illumi called out, his usual stoic voice now dripping with desperation as he saw you wait in line with a frown carved on your lips. You heard the way Illumi called your name, but you closed your eyes and turned your head so you wouldn’t have to see the pained face that you were sure matched yours.
 The line began to gradually decrease until It was finally your turn to board the train, and although the station was almost vacant and quiet, you still could hear the loud footsteps of the usual silent assassin reach your ears.
“You don’t have to go,” Illumi shouted as he pushed his legs faster only for you to still seem so far away. “Because I refuse to marry anyone that Is not you!”
 You stilled once you heard that, and your mouth twisted while your vision started to become cloudy. It hurt to leave Illumi, however you knew that this was the right call to make. You were only a hindrance to Illumi’s success in pursuing his family’s flawed legacy, Kikyo making sure to vehemently express this to you before she shoved the train ticket in your hands and shooed you out of the mansion. You were not fit to be his bride like the esteemed maiden chosen was; she was of higher class and more capable you concluded to yourself on your way here. It was a hard pill to swallow but also a necessary one. Illumi would understand, you thought or rather hoped as you clenched your fist tighter around your suitcase handle. He needed to let you go, for it was the best option for the both of you.
“Don’t!” Illumi shouted at you but you continued to climb the steps of the train, each move you took feeling heavier than the last. You looked over your shoulder one last time to see the man you had grown to love so much running towards while relentlessly shouting at you to stay.
“Goodbye, Illumi.” You mouthed to him before you slowly turned and stepped forward, signaling the doors to close behind you. Illumi’s typical mask he wore on his face morphed into one of horror as he read the words your lips formed. By now he had finally approached the train but unfortunately It was already too late. He saw the wheels of the train start to turn and he cursed under his breath, debating if he should pry the doors open with hands just so he could pull you back into his chest one last time. 
But when he saw the distant expression that you had on your face, he abruptly paused all of his movements. His heart shattered at the way you looked at him, as If to tell him It was time to give up. He couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to fight for him like he was fighting for you, and the feeling of betrayal began to bubble in the pit of his stomach.
“You said you weren’t going to leave me!” Illumi yelled as tears ran down his cheeks, but his hair shielded your view just before you could see them. You looked away from your ex-lover and deeply inhaled in an attempt to calm and reassure yourself that this was the right thing to do. However, when you felt something wet fall onto your exposed hand it dawned on you that you were crying as well and you laughed bitterly to yourself, hating that the right thing was always so painful.
“Don’t leave me, Y/n.” Illumi whispered as he watched the train get further and further away from him, his worst fear of losing you now coming true. You were the love of his life and the only person who he could be transparent with without expecting any judgement. You were everything to him, yet no matter how much he chased after you, It seemed that the two of you were just fated to never have a happily ever after.
“Please.” Illumi rasped one last time before the train you were on disappeared completely and he stood in his ruined tuxedo all alone in the station.
Illumi was alone once again, but it’s fine. After all, he had grown use to it.
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hrtiu · 3 years
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“ name told me you're in love with me. tell me it isn't true. tell me this is all just a huge misunderstanding. “ “ i can't. “ @famouskittychild​ thanks for the prompt! prompts are from this post.
“Ahsoka, can I talk to you?” Rex asked.
Ahsoka looked up from tinkering with the tiny power cell that she hoped would eventually power her new lightsaber. “Yeah, what’s up?”
Rex cast a quick glance around the cramped mess. “Maintenance shaft?”
She looked blankly up at him a moment before nodding and getting to her feet. It was only Rex, Ahsoka, and Gregor on their antique transport, but there still never seemed to be enough space. The maintenance shaft was where she and Rex would go to talk if they didn’t want Gregor to overhear.
Ahsoka followed Rex into the shaft and shut the door behind them, deftly dodging the exposed wires and sharp metal bits that stuck out from the walls at odd angles. This was already pretty inconvenient—she wondered what they’d do if they ever managed to recover other dechipped clones.
“So, what was so top secret we couldn’t talk about it in the mess?” Ahsoka asked.
Rex sucked on his cheeks and shrugged, his golden eyes avoiding her gaze.  “It’s… probably nothing.”
Ahsoka crossed her arms and gave him a flat look. “If it’s nothing then why did you drag me into this safety hazard?”
“Well, uh…” Rex scratched at the back of his head and looked up to the ceiling. “Gregor said something the other day. And you know, it’s probably just Gregor being Gregor. But I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I thought I’d come to you and clear the air.”
Ahsoka narrowed her eyes at him, warning bells beginning to sound in the back of her head. “Clear the air of what?”
“Like I said, it’s probably nothing. But Gregor said that he thought we make a cute couple.”
A gentle hiss emitted from one of the mystery pipes overhead, but the sound barely registered in Ahsoka’s mind. She fought to keep her expression blank, to not give anything away. It was possible this might turn out well. It was possible. But every one of her instincts was screaming at her that this was bad.
“Oh. Well, you know Gregor,” she said with forced calm.
“Yeah, and I told him he’d misunderstood. I told him we’re good friends. But he said…” Rex paused, his gaze once again skittering away. “He said that he’s spent more time around civilians than I have and that he recognizes love when he sees it. He said that you’re in love with me.”
Every synapse in Ahsoka’s brain froze over. Count on Gregor of all people to pick up on her great secret.
“Oh,” she said, her numbed senses oddly beneficial in keeping her tone cool and collected.
“Yeah.” Rex jerked his gaze back to Ahsoka’s and his brows knit together in concentration. “It’s… It’s not true, is it?” He forced a chuckle. “Tell me it’s just Gregor imagining things.”
She opened her mouth to tell him he was right. She moved her lips up and down to form the words. It’s not true. I don’t know what Gregor’s talking about. You’re a great friend. But no sound came out.
Rex’s expression hardened, and he took a half step closer to her in the already-confined space. “Ahsoka…”
She held his gaze as long as she could manage, then looked away. Her eyes fixed on a torn red cable sticking out of the durasteel wall, jagged metal wires spilling out of its guts. She shook her head.
“I can’t lie to you, Rex,” she whispered.
He let out a heavy breath and retreated from her as much as the narrow space allowed. Ahsoka sank into her shoulders, her heart breaking a million different ways.
“This isn’t… we can’t…” Rex struggled to find the words. “Ahsoka, I can’t.”
A hot tear coursed down Ahsoka’s cheek, but she refused to wipe it away—refused to call any attention to it. She wanted to fold herself up over and over again until she disappeared. She didn’t want to be having this conversation.
“I know. I’m sorry,” she said.
Another tear seeped out, and Rex let out a choked sigh, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “Please, please don’t cry.”
“It’s not like I want to,” Ahsoka said, almost back to her freshly-minted Padawan days.
“You mean the world to me, Ahsoka,” Rex said, his hand squeezing her shoulder awkwardly before letting go. “But almost everyone I care about in this galaxy would shoot you on site.”
“I know,” she reiterated, because she did. She could see the ghosts of his brothers in his eyes, could feel the guilt he carried—a shame that only magnified her own. It was eating them both alive, being together like this, but she couldn’t imagine being alone. They should have already separated by now, but she couldn’t bring herself to suggest it.
She loved him.
Rex leaned back against the wall, somehow finding a surface that wouldn’t skewer him. His expression sagged and the dim lights overhead exaggerated the bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
Looking at him like this—suffering, tired, and oh so lonely—Ahsoka made herself a resolution. It would kill her to say it, but she had to get the words out. If she spoke them aloud, maybe she could accept their truth.
“I know you don’t feel the same way,” she said. “You don’t have to worry about my expectations.”
His eyes shot to hers with startling intensity. “It’s not that I don’t feel the same way.”
Ahsoka’s breath caught in her throat. “You… don’t?”
“I… care about you. I don’t know what the right word to use is, but I care about you so much it’s… difficult to describe.” He ran a hand through locks that weren’t there, his eyes looking off into somewhere lightyears away. “But I can’t keep choosing you over my brothers, over and over and over again. And that’s what will happen if we stay together.”
The brittle pieces of what was left of Ahsoka’s heart blew away, scattered by the winds to some unknown corner of the galaxy. More tears threatened to fall, but Ahsoka ordered them back in. She forced her chin up and looked Rex in the eyes. He deserved as much.
“I understand. We’ll be refueling in Pantora tomorrow. You can drop me off there.”
A tiny part of her waited for him to object. He nodded.
“Alright… I… Yeah, that’s good,” he said.
She swallowed thickly then stood up tall, her hands clenched together behind her back for strength. “Well, I guess I’ll get packing then.”
He made no move to stop her as she edged her way towards the hatch. Just a few more feet, and she’d be out of his line of sight. Then she could cry.
She reached the hatch and looked back at him, her resolve weakening for a brief moment. He slumped against the wall, the ghosts of his brothers written plainly across his face.
“...Rex?”
He looked up at her, eyes shining. “Yeah?”
“Is there… I know not today, but someday… Is there any hope?”
Through all the memories and anguish, Rex managed a small but true smile. “Always, little’un.”
She offered a wobbly smile of her own, then stepped back through the hatch.
Gregor was right. She was in love with Rex.
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class1akids · 3 years
Text
BNHA 320 - Thoughts
How do you have a fight between people who don’t want to hurt each other? 
The answer is to turn it into a giant Catch-a-Deku and shower him with a plus ultra dose of friendship. 
Kacchan proves right at the bat that they’ve predicted Deku’s likely course of action. He had a move ready to counter smoke-screen, which does not surprise me at all. I bet he’s been thinking up ways to match / counter Deku’s new quirks as soon as he laid eyes on All Might’s notebook. 
Also, all the discussion from last week can be laid to rest on whether Kacchan told the others that he was part of team OFA - he obviously prepared them - they all recognized Smokescreen. 
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What is even more interesting is that he calls out Deku (and by implication his younger self) about how once someone is able to do everything alone, everyone else starts to look like extras. That it’s easy to lose perspective. I guess Kacchan is saying that from experience, knowing how screwed up that is. 
Deku doesn’t want to hear this, so he bolt.  Then the action is rather cool - we get Kouda sending in a flock of pigeons, a Sero-Midoriya spiderman vs spiderman tug of war, Jirou having a totally new move (let my girl fight, she looks badass), 
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Ojirou catching Deku with his tail, Dark Shadow pushing Deku into Momo’s sleep machine. So I guess with was Plan A (probably the Momo-plan). It would also make a pretty cool theme park ride if anyone would ever want to make one. 
They are not trying to hurt Deku, only get him in Momo’s sleepy-time machine, which Deku resists like an angry toddler, all the while talking about their bonding moments - Jirou about Deku helping her to organize her notes, Ojirou about how Deku got angry on his behalf.
They all appreciate Deku for just normal friends stuff - nothing to do with Deku’s quirk or his self-sacrifices, but simply his caring, decent nature. For things that are totally unrelated to OFA or breaking himself for the sake of others. 
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Satou is going for the jugular mentioning Eri and her candied apples. And it’s so heart-breaking that even at the mention of Eri, Deku thinks that she would be all right with anyone. (Deku, you total dumbass). He also asks his classmates not to care about him anymore (hahahaha) as he breaks the sleep-machine. Love Dark Shadow’s little exasperated look. 
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..only to be caught by Kaminari giving him a bro-hug, telling him that even if they never interacted that much, he thinks of Deku as his pal. I adore Kaminari - he doesn’t even use his quirk, he uses his superpower as official whisperer of all the beasts of class A. 
Shoji is next in restraining Deku and reminding him back when Deku thought that Shoji, Tokoyami, Shouto, Bakugou and himself were awesome enough to go up against All Might even. I love this reminder, not only how much his classmates also been through and handled, but that back before OFA-Sixquirks, Deku used to see them differently. And it’s not like they’ve become any weaker since then - rather the opposite...
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Tokoyami is back with Ragnarok - Womb that looks like a pretty awesome cocoon - I adore the design and all of Tokoyami’s moves, putting Kaminari in there with him, who finally says the most important thing to Deku.
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Yes. Please. For the love of All Might, go, take a shower, Deku.  Shoji at the same time asking him if he only sees them as people to protect now - and it’s a very pertinent question - hits very hard - it’s something I’ve been asking since the beginning of the arc, and I’m glad someone asked him that. Even if Deku doesn’t think like that, it’s important he understands what it FEELS like to his friends.
Deku breaks out from the cocoon, but finally the mask falls and he’s holding back tears now, gritting his teeth, saying yet again, how he’s fine. Sure Deku, you look “just fine”. I guess it’s another one for the list... 
He also notes how Danger Sense didn’t activate this whole time (which the scanlation totally mistranslated btw), because the class has no ill intent. Cue my UA traitor theory. 
So as Deku breaks free, he yeets himself head-first into a Heaven Piercing Ice Wall - nice throwback to the first Kamino rescue - and damn, Shouto made it go straight up in an instant, and you can see how high it is. 
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But even more devastating is Shouto’s deeply disappointed face, as he questions if Deku can even cry anymore - a nice throwback to their heroes cry too conversation. 
Deku’s resolve is really weakening now and Tsuyu still comes to give her two cents - about comic-book heroes and turning fiction into reality, and why does she talk like AFO suddenly.  
Interestingly, there is a car approaching - it’s either Hercules or Jeanist Mobile, so we may have an interruption soon. I hope it’s All Might - he should really say something about this lone pillar thing. 
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We’ll know in two weeks, but other than some of the big guns in terms of closeness to Deku - Iida, Uraraka and of course, Professor Kacchan, with a PhD in Dekulogy - we still have some of the less significant and mid-tier characters who haven’t spoken: Aoyama, Hagakure, Mina and Kirishima.  I’m guessing the UA traitor will be one of them and may end up pinging Danger Sense. 
I guess Iida and Uraraka will be the real heart-breakers, and Kacchan (if we’ll segue now into DvK3) will be the nuclear explosion in the end. 
Or maybe Deku gets his bath before that happens. 
In any case, so far - I think the “fight” is handled in a balanced way. Nobody tries to hurt the other, the class is showing some new moves, a bit of clever combos, Deku can show off his growth to them, but ultimately it’s a fight for his heart. They are talking to him like to a friend - they are not putting him on All Might’s pedestal, but try to draw out the human side of him and try to get it through to him that he’s appreciated exactly for that. 
The class is not approaching Deku, the hero, they try to get through to their dumbass friend who is hurting and is in need of help. They are breaking him with friendship and the no-jutsu has more punch when it’s stuff that’s been built for a long time. 
It also shows that the more gut-wrenching moments are the ones with classmates who he has a longer or closer history with. So I’m getting my tissue box ready for 321. 
Also, check out the trivia in HK’s author comment about the origin of Deku’s name. It’s pretty cool. 
All the dude-bros frothing at the mouth about how Deku didn’t get to beat class A to a pulp makes this chapter extra delicious.
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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years
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Get Together
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This fic was also inspired by this prompt from @mingcheng-prompts​
Jiang Cheng stares at the letter in his hands.
“You can’t be serious,” he says, but when he raises his eyes at Nie Mingjue he seems deadly serious.
“Of course I am,” Nie Mingjue replies and pushes a scroll towards him. “My courtship gift.”
Jiang Cheng blinks but doesn’t move.
He knows he can’t say yes—could never, not with everything that happened—but he wants to.
Jiang Cheng learned to appreciate Nie Mingjue over the course of the last few gruesome weeks, learned to rely on him and trust him to have his back in battle—and yes, maybe even fell in love with him—so of course he wants to say yes.
But he can’t.
“I have nothing,” he tells Nie Mingjue and doesn’t make a move for the scroll. “My Sect burned. My parents died. My people are scattered.”
He’s not even sure he still has Wei Wuxian.
“There is nothing I can give you.”
“Good thing then, that I’m here for you and not your Sect or for what you can give me,” Nie Mingjue easily replies and doesn’t seem put off in the least.
“No,” Jiang Cheng tells him, though the word barely makes it out of his mouth.
Nie Mingjue observes him in silence for a few minutes, before he sags with a sigh.
“I respect your wish,” he says but he still pushes the scroll closer to Jiang Cheng. “You should still take this. Consider it a gift from one Sect Leader to another, if you must.”
“I shouldn’t take this,” Jiang Cheng replies as he gets up.
If he accepts this, and finds something thoughtful, something useful, something he would like, then his resolve will crumble.
And he can’t afford that. They are still at war. His Sect is still barely more than ground into dust.
“Nie-zongzhu,” he bows low, before he walks out of the tent, away from Nie Mingjue, without looking back.
Jiang Cheng wonders not for the first time when fate will stop taking things away from him.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng has to admit that he thought things would change between him and Nie Mingjue with the rejected courtship, but they don’t.
Nie Mingjue treats him the same as before, except that now Jiang Cheng flushes whenever Nie Mingjue comes close or smiles at him or is simply nice to him.
Jiang Cheng is flushing a lot, even though the war is still raging.
He really wishes he could have said yes to Nie Mingjue.
~*~*~
Fate does not stop taking things from Jiang Cheng. First his brother-in-law, then his sister and to top it off his brother as well.
The only thing left is Jin Ling.
And—inexplicably—Nie Mingjue.
“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asks, a shade of desperation to his voice, because Jin Ling won’t stop crying and Jiang Cheng is inevitably going to fuck him up, just like he fucks up everything else.
“I’m here with an offer of courtship,” Nie Mingjue says and puts another letter and the same scroll on the table.
Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Mingjue lost his mind.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he hisses, allowing the anger to take over instead of giving in to the want and hurt.
“Nothing. I simply have made up my mind about what I want. And what I want is you.”
He sounds completely serious as he says it, too, and Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Mingjue lost his sanity on the battlefield.
“Look around you, Nie-zongzhu,” he snaps out, aware that Jin Ling flinches at his tone and Nie Mingjue at the title.
Jiang Cheng tries to calm Jin Ling down and tries to ignore Nie Mingjue and his reaction as best as he can.
If he calls him anything but Nie-zongzhu then he’ll crumble and give in. And he can’t do that.
“I have nothing left in my life,” Jiang Cheng belatedly finishes and Nie Mingjue frowns.
“That’s not true. You have your nephew and your Sect. That is not nothing. And you have me, too, if you accept the courtship or not.”
“Why are you so—” Jiang Cheng wants to say ‘good’ but the word chokes him up.
Nie Mingjue seems to understand it anyway.
“Because you deserve it.”
“I don’t,” Jiang Cheng says over Jin Ling’s head, the boy still crying and Jiang Cheng woefully unprepared to deal with him.
“I think you do,” Nie Mingjue softly says and then stands up to correct Jiang Cheng’s grasp on Jin Ling.
It doesn’t immediately calm him down, but Jiang Cheng feels more secure holding Jin Ling like that and the small kindness is enough to bring tears to his eyes.
“I can’t,” Jiang Cheng whispers, and hides his face in Jin Ling’s baby hair. “I can’t.”
There’s a brief silence where Jiang Cheng thinks that Nie Mingjue will simply storm out on him, but then he feels lips pressed against the crown of his head.
“I’ll be here when you can,” Nie Mingjue promises him right before he leaves.
Jiang Cheng can’t bear to watch him go, and it’s only much, much later that he realizes that while Nie Mingjue took the letter with the official courtship, he left the scroll behind.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t touch it.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng is shaking as he steps off Sandu and if he’s not careful he’s going to crush the scroll in his hand.
Maybe it would be better anyway.
“Where is Nie Mingjue?” he demands to know from the first disciple that has the guts to step close and to their credit, he is immediately led to a study room.
“What the fuck is this?” he hisses as he throws the scroll at Nie Mingjue. “What the hell are you up to?”
It seems like he caught Nie Mingjue off guard because the scroll hits him square in the chest but when he lowers his gaze at it, understanding crosses his face.
“It’s a gift,” Nie Mingjue slowly says and picks the scroll out of his robes to put it on the table.
“A gift,” Jiang Cheng hisses. “Preparing me for the fact that you’re planning to invade us?”
It’s—just the thought makes Jiang Cheng sick, because he barely had time to build Lotus Pier back up again. He only managed the most necessary buildings so far.
Not to mention the fact that he trusted Nie Mingjue, that he thought he was in love with him.
“It’s nothing like that,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng has to give it to him, he stays remarkably calm.
“Then explain what it is!” Jiang Cheng demands and Nie Mingjue sighs.
“I mean, I guess it was intended that way, once, when we first started? But it’s not anymore. We keep track of the layout of all the Sects. I know you all thought us stupid but Qinghe Nie always expected a war ever since Wen Ruohan first came into power centuries ago. We made it a habit to sketch out every Sect’s layout so that in the case of a war we could help them rebuild. None of you are as sturdy as we are.”
It’s a sensible explanation and it makes sense, Jiang Cheng guesses, but the hurt about the perceived threat from Nie Mingjue of all people still sits deep.
“Why give it to me?”
Nie Mingjue stares at him as if he’s stupid, and Jiang Cheng thinks that’s probably fair.
“It was supposed to be a courtship gift; my gift to help you rebuild Lotus Pier like it used to be if you wished it so. You rejected me, twice, and I thought it cruel to keep this from you despite that.”
Jiang Cheng can’t keep Nie Mingjue’s eyes any longer and so he stares down at the scroll again.
He had looked at it, of course, and he had studied it very carefully; there were paths and buildings on that plan that even he didn’t remember.
“Show me the other ones,” Jiang Cheng says, because he needs the proof that this was not simply to attack him again, now that Yunmeng Jiang is weakened beyond belief.
Nie Mingjue simply nods and leads Jiang Cheng to a huge library. It seems like Nie Mingjue knows his way around here very well, because there’s no hesitation as he makes his way over to a shelf and gets three more scrolls out.
“We even have one of the Wen Sect, in case someone more sensible ever took over once Wen Ruohan inevitably destroyed everything,” he says as he hands the scrolls to Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng opens all three of them, just to be sure, but they are what Nie Mingjue promised.
“You wanted to help us rebuild,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Nie Mingjue shrugs.
“Qinghe Nie always wanted to help in the case of war,” he agrees and before Jiang Cheng can snap at him that he is deliberately misunderstanding him, he goes on. “But yes. I specifically wanted to help you rebuild.”
“Why?”
“It was supposed to be a courtship gift, remember?” Nie Mingjue asks with a sad smile and takes the scrolls back from Jiang Cheng.
“But why?” Jiang Cheng asks again, because that’s the part he doesn’t get.
Everyone left him alone; his family is dead, Lanling Jin is just waiting for him to die or move a toe out of line, Gusu Lan is too busy rebuilding themselves and for all that Nie Mingjue tried to court him—twice—even Qinghe Nie didn’t so much as offer help.
Well, Jiang Cheng guesses he has to rethink that part, because clearly Nie Mingjue did want to help.
“Why me?”
“Because you’re fierce and beautiful and strong. You’re a natural leader, you’re a good Sect Leader, a good uncle. Because I admire you and I’m in love with you,” Nie Mingjue easily says as if it means nothing to him to say all of that out loud, about Jiang Cheng of all people.
It means the world to Jiang Cheng.
“Ask me again,” he whispers, begs almost, because he’s tired of keeping himself from this.
He’s tired of rebuilding and of raising Jin Ling and having to do it all alone and if Nie Mingjue wants this, still, after Jiang Cheng was already stupid twice, then he’ll take it.
He will allow himself at least this happiness.
“Jiang Wanyin, will you let me court you?” Nie Mingjue asks without hesitation and just the thought that Nie Mingjue waited even though Jiang Cheng rejected him twice, that he still wants him, brings tears to Jiang Cheng’s eyes.
“Yes, please,” he breathes out and Nie Mingjue doesn’t waste any time before he pulls him into a tight hug.
“Thank you,” he mutters into Jiang Cheng’s hair as if he’s the blessed one here, when really, Jiang Cheng can’t believe that he should get this lucky.
“I’m sorry I was stupid,” Jiang Cheng says into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder.
“You weren’t. There was a lot going on, and I understand,” Nie Mingjue reassures him and Jiang Cheng slings his arms around his middle.
“I like you, too,” Jiang Cheng belatedly says, and even though he’s not yet ready to tell Nie Mingjue that he’s in love with him, too, it doesn’t seem to matter to Nie Mingjue.
“That’s good to hear,” Nie Mingjue gives back, and pushes Jiang Cheng away from him, just far enough to duck down and press a light kiss to his lips.
“We’re going to take this slow, okay? Rebuilding first.”
Jiang Cheng has difficulties swallowing around the lump in his throat, so he simply nods, grateful that Nie Mingjue seems to understand what he so desperately needs.
His Sect back to a point where he doesn’t have to fear for their simple survival every night, and a reassuring, steady presence at his side.
“Thank you,” he says again with feeling and Nie Mingjue smiles at him.
“Always,” he promises.
And for once in Jiang Cheng’s life, someone keeps that promise.
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yelena-bellova · 3 years
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Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Nine
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chapter eight - Chapter Nine: The Soldier and the Mutant - chapter ten
Series Masterlist
Plot: Y/n deals with the new knowledge about who her father truly was and receives a surprise visitor.
Warnings: angst, fluff, fluff, FLUFF, my gosh it’s nearly suffocating how much fluff, language, one allusion to sex, mentions of suicide, mentions of torture
Word Count: 10.1k 
A/N: I’m just gonna let this one speak for itself, thanks for being so patient 😉 
----
“HYDRA?” 
“HYDRA…” I sighed.
Melanie and I were sat on her front porch, coffee cups in hand and revelations on our lips. I’d been home for two days and the shock of finding out about my father’s longstanding lie, while still fresh, was morphing into numbness. Being his daughter too, Mel needed to know the truth as well.
“This guy’s gotta be lying,” my sister waved a hand in front of her, “He has to be, he’s a criminal a-and he’s crazy.” “He’s not lying, Mels,” I held my head in my hand with my elbow resting on my chair, “I went online and scoured the internet, Dad’s name was listed in the HYDRA files leaked ten years ago.”
Mel leaned forward in her seat and hung her head, bracing her weight on her knees. My sister had always been a rock, unshakable even in the face of the worst circumstances. Even though she was keeping it together for my sake, I could see the well of emotions that would spring up once I was gone. “I can’t believe this,” she mumbled, shaking her head softly, “But looking back, it makes so much sense.” I furrowed my brows at her, “You wanna spell this one out for me?”
“Think about it,” she turned in her seat to face me, “Dad was wracked with guilt every day since he came home from the,” she set her mug down on the coffee table and made air quotes, “‘service.’ Nightmares and flashbacks and that awful depression…I mean, the man tore himself apart for what he’d done when he wasn’t passed out from drinking. He’d have had to do some pretty nasty things to feel that much guilt.” “Yeah, well, he should have felt guilty,” I grumbled, staring down at the coffee to hide the tears slowly forming in my eyes, “He hurt innocent people.”
“Wow…” she said quietly.
I sat forward in my seat, “Mom can never find about this, the shock could kill her. And as much as I feel like she should know who she was married to, I don’t think I can destroy another person’s image of Dad.” “No, I don’t think we should tell her either,” Mel agreed, taking a sip from her coffee, “I’m sorry enough that you had to find out. Wait,” she slapped a hand over my arm, “Does Bucky know? You said you and Sam were working with him.” I had done my best to put Bucky out of my mind for the past two days, failing spectacularly. I had gotten so used to him being by my side the past week that once he was gone, it felt like something was missing. Never mind the way I’d left him, those blue eyes begging me not to shut him out, the very same thing I’d asked him not to do. I had to remind myself at least ten times a day that removing myself from his life was for his good. 
“Yeah, he knows,” I looked back down at my lap, squeezing the coffee mug so tight, I thought it might shatter. Mel threw her hands out to their sides, “And?” 
“And he knows,” I replied, knowing that wouldn’t be a good enough answer for her. “So this guy finds out that our dad tortured him for years and he’s been running around Europe with his daughter and he had no reaction? What are you not telling me?” “Mel, what do you want me to say?” I snapped my head up, “He was there when Zemo told me and he’s not with me now, there’s nothing more to tell…"
I may have been a mutant, but sometimes I wished I’d have gotten my sister’s detective skills instead. She could take one look at a person and go Sherlock Holmes on their ass before they knew what hit them. It was one of the reasons she’d made such a good psychologist before becoming a stay-at-home mom.
Mel inhaled sharply and her eyes widened, “Oh my gosh, do you-“ “Don’t say it,” I held up a hand and forcefully pressed my eyes shut, a few teardrops squeezing out onto my eyelashes, “Please don’t say it.” As requested, she fell silent, her hand slipping onto my shoulder and rubbing small circles. I trained my eyes ahead of me, focusing on the last remnants of the morning’s sunrise. I’d always loved getting up early enough to watch the light spread across the sky, giving me hope that whatever pain I was feeling was only temporary. I found no such comfort gazing at the spectacle in my current state.
“It’s better this way,” I said, not able to look at her lest she see my contradictory eyes, “Trust me.” “Well,” Mel sighed loudly, “You’re the one that knows the guy…Just promise me one thing?” “Hmm?” She pulled one of my hands out of the death grip I had on my cup and took it into one of hers, “This is huge news, life-shattering, and we’re allowed to process it however we need to. But I see that look in your eyes, none of this is on you. Don’t blame yourself for what Dad did to him.” And if Mel had spent the time I had with Bucky, watched him in the bar in Madripoor, been in the therapy session with him, seen his reaction to losing his arm in Riga, I knew she’d feel different. I had a front row seat to Bucky’s PTSD and my father had been the ringleader. How could I not feel a little responsible? ——
Sam, Sarah and I had talked the boat situation over the morning before. The offer that Sarah had received from the guy who had been interested before Sam returned home had fallen through, he’d cited the reason as that it would take more money to fix than it was worth. Ever the hero, Sam had phoned everyone in the community who had known his parents and called in as many favors as he could. As I pulled up to the docks, ready to roll up my sleeves and begin working, I was delightfully surprised at how many people had responded. There were at least a dozen sets of helping hands waiting to work. It was moments like these that reminded me how lucky I was to live in such a close knit community.
I weaved through people, greeting and thanking everyone for coming out as I made my way to the boat. “Black Falcon to the rescue again, huh?” I called out to Sam as I climbed aboard, he was standing at the bow of the ship next to somebody whose back was turned to me. “You know it,” Sam called back, turning around and facing me, along with the man who he’d been in conversation with. 
It was Bucky.
My heart stopped and I froze in my tracks, adrenaline shooting through my veins. Our eyes met across the deck and we may as well have been back in Sokovia. There was the same pain threaded through his ocean blue eyes only enhanced by the fear reflecting in mine. I wanted to run to him and away from him all at once, but knew which instinct needed to be listened to. 
I looked to Sam and faked a hopefully convincing smile, “I’ll be below deck.” Hurriedly, I hauled my ass across the deck and raced down the steps. My hands flew to cover my nose and mouth as my breathing increased. He was here, he couldn’t be here, why was he here? Any progress I’d made, however small, in trying to put Bucky to rest had been revived the second I saw his face. 
“You wanna explain what that was?” I looked up to see Sam stepping off the final stair and crossing his arms in front of me, “One day you’re friends and the next you bolt outta the room when you see the guy?” “Just,” I strained, stopping to take as soothing a breath as I was capable of and straightening my posture, “Keep me where he isn’t.” Sam sighed, reading me all too well, “Y/n, if this is about your dad, there’s noth-“ “Now what needs to be done down here?” I interrupted, placing my hands on my hips and hoping that if I projected confidence, I’d start to feel it. 
“Fine,” Sam conceded to my wishes and gestured to the engine we were standing next to, “Check the zincs. If you need to replace ‘em, we’ll have to run down to Joe’s. And just so you know,” he stood at the steps and pointed between me and where Bucky most likely stood above us, “I don’t agree with this.” I shook my head to shake myself out of the moment as he left me to my work, blissfully hidden from the person I wanted to be with most. 
——
I had never experienced a more uncomfortable day.
For the entire morning and afternoon, it was like switching a light on and off. If Bucky came below deck to fix something, I filed out as quick as I could to work above deck. We didn’t interact more than when we passed each other once in a while, each brush of shoulder sending a jolt of electricity through me. Sam had been no help either, he’d prevented me from making the necessary run to the hardware store or helping Sarah with lunch. He was determined to try and quarantine me and Bucky on the boat, most likely in hopes that my resolve would weaken. No matter how much it was killing me, I kept my distance and my head down as we made repairs in awkward silence.
When the sun began to set over the waters and there was nothing left to be done for the day, I carefully made my way up the stairs and listened for voices. When I heard none close by, I took quick steps across the deck and hopped off the boat onto the dock. I didn’t dare look over my shoulder to see if Bucky, who was stealthy enough to sneak up on anyone, was behind me and kept on my path to the outdoor kitchen area Sarah was closing up. “Good day?” I asked, grabbing an extra rag to try and get the oil off my hands from working on the engine.
“Better than you,” she retorted, “You’ve had that sour look on your face since you got here.” “Just,” I sighed and stopped my rigorous rubbing for a second, “Still thinking about everything…” Stopping her cleaning while I resumed mine, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and leaned her head against mine. Out of Sam, Melanie, myself and her, Sarah was the most removed from the situation. My dad hadn’t interacted much with the Wilsons, he hadn’t interacted with hardly anyone outside of his family, so Sarah didn’t have many memories with him nor had she fought HYDRA. It was actually nice to be around someone who didn’t have his dirty deeds bouncing around their head like an old school Microsoft screensaver.
“You,” she pressed a kiss to the side of my head, “Are one of the best human beings I know and nothing can change that, not even this.” Starting the argument that this revelation did in fact change a lot of things would be useless, I knew better than to try and prove Sarah wrong. I simply patted her arm and leaned into her embrace, taking the comfort I could get even if I didn’t necessarily deserve it. 
“By the way,” she said as she unwrapped her arms, “Sam invited Bucky to stay the night.” My stomach dropped, “WHAT?” “He was gonna go find a hotel room but that’s ridiculous when he can just crash on the couch,” Sarah shrugged, wiping off the counter once again. “Why?” I pressed my hands to my mouth in a praying position, “Why could you not be an angel who has to help everybody, just this once?”
Sarah turned to face me, placing on hand on her hip, “The guy saved your ass from being killed and ran you to the hospital,” I opened my mouth to ask her how she knew that, she held up a finger to me, “Sam told me all about Riga. It’s the least we can do for him. And don’t even think about running to Mel’s place for the night, you promised the boys you’d take them to school tomorrow morning.” I stood there, nervously wringing the cloth through my hands as Sarah walked away to finish up another task before night fell. All my efforts to keep away from Bucky were failing and it wasn’t due to anything on my part. How was I supposed to protect him if we were constantly around each other? As I looked out to the deck of the boat, I could see Sam and Bucky had winded up there drinking beers to celebrate their long day of work. It was a scene that only days ago, I could have easily slipped into. I didn’t just miss Bucky, I missed the dynamic the three of us had grown to have. Sam would have pressed a beer into my hand and lightheartedly elbowed me, I’d have settled down next to Bucky whose hand would have naturally drifted to the small of my back…It would have been a perfect end to the day. Instead, I was cursing my father for ever having dipped a toe in HYDRA’s pool, his decision had ruined my life.
——
I had two vendettas, one with Sam for inviting Bucky to stay and one with my quickly drying throat that begged for water. 
Laying in bed with my pillow smashed across my face, I peeked one eye out to check my alarm clock. 1:29AM. I’d laid in the same position for an hour, hoping that sleep took me over and my thirst would die till the morning. The family had been asleep for hours and with the amount of work Sam and him did, Bucky should have been passed out too. If I pulled it off just right, I could sneak downstairs to grab a bottle of water and get out before he ever stirred. Waking an ex-assassin wouldn’t be good for either of us.
I tiptoed out of my room, mindful of the creaking door as I passed AJ and Cass’ bedroom. Once I got to the stairs, I chose a silent approach and used my energy to float my way down the steps. I continued doing so through the kitchen, sneaking a peek over to the couch to see Bucky sound asleep. I opened up the fridge quietly and reached in blindly, feeling around till I hit a bottle and pulling it out. Tucking the bottle under my arm, I placed my hands back at my side and began to let the energy lift me.
“You do know I can hear you, right?” The familiar voice startled me, causing me to absorb the energy back into my palms quickly. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration before turning to see Bucky, laying in the same position I’d found him in with his lids still shut. “Forgot,” I said, hoping he didn’t hear the shake in my voice, “Super soldier.” 
Flipping the blanket Sarah had given to him off his body, he swung his long legs off the couch and sat up to face me. It truly wasn’t fair how good he looked even in the middle of the night, the moonlight coming through the windows and highlighting his silhouette. Admiring his profile was the only thing making the uncomfortable silence semi-bearable. 
“We need to talk,” he started. “We really don’t,” I hurriedly replied, starting to rotate my body to flee. Bucky stood up, the couch creaking in relief as he did, “Yes, we do. You left so fast the other day I couldn’t get two words in.” “Because you didn’t need to,” I said from my place in the kitchen, “There’s nothing you can say to make any of this better and you shouldn’t. In fact, you should hate me.” He raised a tired eyebrow, “Hate you?” 
“Yes,” I said, a little louder, “Hate me for what my father did to you, hate me for being his daughter. I hate me right now, I don’t understand why you don’t.” “Because there’s nothing to hate,” Bucky chuckled softly, “You of all people have given me the least to hate.” “Bucky, of all people you should hate me the most,” I said firmly, setting the forgotten bottle on the counter, “We travel the world all week and then you find out I’m the daughter of the man whose job was to hook you up to machines an-and torture you all day. That’s the man who I drew pictures of and kissed every night before bed and thought was the greatest person to ever walk the fucking planet,” I spread my arms out to accentuate the point, “That man is one of the reasons for all that pain seeping out of you. And guess what? I’m him. I’m literally his flesh and blood! So go ahead, hate me! You have every right to, and it would make this all so much easier if you did.” “Make what easier? Ignoring each other?” Bucky crossed his arms over his broad chest, “I don’t want to do that.” I knew he wasn’t going to let it go, I had only one decent shot at ending the conversation and I needed to take it, even if it broke my heart. “Well, it’s what I want,” I picked up the bottle again, trying to pretend I was as confidant in my decision to walk away as my words were.
“That’s a lie and we both know it,” Bucky said, the tiniest smirk appearing on his lips, something I always found cute but now found annoying. 
It may have been the biggest lie I’d ever told in my entire life, but it was also truth. I wanted to leave Bucky before he inevitably left me. “No, it’s not,” I said, my voice threatening to tremble as I used it. “You wanna look me in the eye and tell me that?” I hadn’t dared to make too much contact with those wild eyes that I’d fallen for, I’d only give in all the quicker and let his grace draw me straight into his arms. He’d called my bluff, knowing that lying to him was easy when I didn’t actually have to see him and that I couldn’t continue the charade if that changed. As I dragged my eyes up to meet his, the tears I’d been fighting back began to come forward. He looked broken and whole at the sight of me, exactly how I felt.
“What do you want me to say, Bucky?” I whispered, my throat closing with emotion.
“I want you to tell me, to my face,” he paused, drawing a shallow breath, “That I’m crazy and that I read every signal wrong.” It would have been less painful if he’d sucker punched me with his left hand, I’d have actually preferred it. It had taken everything in me to tell just one lie, I couldn’t do it again to either one of us. But I also couldn’t succumb to my feelings. “Bucky…” I shakily began, clenching my fists at their sides.
“Because you’ve been living in my head pretty much since the minute I met you, and I don’t wanna sweep this week under the rug like it was nothing,” Bucky made a sweeping motion with his hand, “I don’t think I can.” “Bucky, we can’t…I can’t do that to you.” “Do what?” he asked confusedly, squinting his eyes as if he couldn’t see the issue. “I don’t want to hurt you!” I snapped, allowing the tears to break free of their restraints and shed themselves, “There’s going to come a day where every memory of what he put you through is going to be blamed on me and I can’t wait for the day where you wake up and look at me like I’m the monster my father was. I can’t have a little of you, Bucky, and then lose you entirely.” My cheeks were wet with my guilt, I made no effort to dry them or cease their streams. I stood there on the edge of where the kitchen met the living room staring at the man who held my heart, trying to pry it from his hands to no avail. Bucky looked just as surprised by the revelation as I’d been when it flew from my lips without any opposition from my head. 
“What did you say to me in Riga?” he whispered, his voice raising slightly to try and emphasize the point he was about to make, “’I don’t believe that any part of you is capable of me?’ ‘That’s not who you really are?’” he echoed my sentiments from days ago, “You’re not him. If I believed there was any of him in you, I wouldn’t be standing here begging you to stop beating yourself up about this.” He took a step forward, waiting to see if I walked away but I was too focused on him to think about running. He continued coming forward, “Y/n, I can’t walk away from this like you mean nothing to me. You’re the first person I’ve met that sees me as Bucky Barnes before anything else. I gave you every reason to write me off and you didn’t give up on me,” he paused, swallowing harshly as he stopped in front of me, “When I’m with you, I feel safe for the first time in a long time. There’s never gonna come a day where I stop lookin’ at you like you’re the most important thing in the world to me.”
There were mere inches left between us, the words I had been dying to hear were now mine for the taking and I was too paralyzed with shock to react. Of course he had to come and hit me with my own affirmations, making perfect sense. The side of my mind that believed I didn’t deserve this happiness was screaming that these feelings would fade, that my father’s sins would always be at the forefront of us. The other side that wanted nothing more than to reach out and close the distance between us was telling me to believe him and let myself be cared for, something I’d always believed I was too broken for. And somehow they were both drowned out by the excitement I felt with Bucky in such close proximity, staring down at me with those cerulean pools, infused with the darkness that sent a chill down my spine. There was a palpable change in the air, from emotional to the great and grand something we finally near naming. Every part of me wanted to reach out and take him for for myself, to kiss him and pull him so close that there was no telling where I began and he ended. If there was a chance for me to back out, it was now. I could run to my room, to my car, anywhere that he wasn’t. But at the end of the day, that wasn’t what I wanted. I could either let myself be held captive by crimes I’d never committed, or I could dedicate myself to loving the man who the universe had somehow tied me to long ago. 
“Tell me to stop,” Bucky said, his voice hitting that low timbre that made goosebumps break out across my skin. 
I couldn’t deny either one of us any longer.
Bucky took a step towards me, his eyes never leaving mine as I backed to accommodate him and his plans. A small gasp left me as my back hit the kitchen wall, my hands reaching back to press against it to try and find purchase on something. There was now only a breath’s width of space left between Bucky and I, our shared air growing more and more heated as we bathed in the anticipation of the moment. His eyes flicked between my y/e/c ones and my lips, looking for any signs of hesitation that didn’t exist. He placed a finger under my chin to tilt my head to his liking, pausing to take in the sight of my tear streaked face in the last seconds before we let loose the storm that had been brewing inside us both. I took the time to admire the wonder on his face, the two of us his newest discovery in a world he had long been asleep to.
He leaned in and our lips finally touched, euphorically.
I found myself unable to move, overwhelmed by the sensation I’d wanted to feel since our dance in Madripoor. Bucky didn’t overstep his bounds, he kept our mouths softly connected as we absorbed each other. When he disconnected our lips, whether to repeat the act or pull away, my body snapped into action and my hands flew to his neck, pulling him back down to me. Our lips didn’t fight for dominance so much as they did try and take in as much of each other as they could. Bucky’s hand slipped from my chin and both fell to my hips, pulling me flush against his body. On his tongue, I could taste the remnants of however many beers he’d shared with Sam, they’d stayed on the boat till the first evening stars started to appear. The scent of him, freshly showered after a long day of work, invaded my senses and spurred me on further, my hands moving to fist the back of his blue henley. With our kisses becoming more fervent, Bucky’s metal arm wrapped around my hips and lifted me so effortlessly, it only made the moment more heated. I wound my legs around his waist and let him carry me to wherever he desired, him easily supporting my weight and never disconnecting our lips as he fell to the couch. My hands snaked up his back to thread themselves through the short brown locks, causing him to pull away with a soft moan before diving back into my mouth. His flesh hand took hold of the back of my head and pushed me further into the kiss, trying to taste as much of me as he could. This. This was what I had been craving since the moment I’d realized I was far more starved of Bucky’s touch than I’d thought I’d been. The delightful friction our bodies created, the pressure of our lips dancing together, the knowledge that I was just as much his as he was mine. No more questioning, no more stolen moments wondering what could have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted. This was whole and perfect and right. 
Eventually, the second long breaks we took for became insufficient and we needed to part for longer. Bucky looked gorgeously spent, his half lidded eyes following me, his lips deliciously swollen and his hair messed up from where my hands had been. I smiled as I dragged my hands to his cheek and ran my thumb over his plump lower lip, bringing a lopsided grin to his face. There was a joy I hadn’t seen him express yet and my stomach flipped knowing that I was the one to bring it in him.
“Don’t leave,” he breathed, his chest rising and falling rapidly in the aftermath of our passion,  “Please.” In my palms, I held one of the world’s most deadly men, someone whose reputation had consisted of how ruthless a killer he’d once been. And here he was, warm and soft and begging me not to go. “I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered, delighting in how his eyes brightened at hearing my words. Contrasting the intensity of the minutes before, I leaned in and brushed my lips against Bucky’s with as little pressure as I could. He chased them the second I pulled away, eliciting a giggle out of me that he swallowed, kissing me so lovingly it almost broke my heart. He inhaled me like I was oxygen and he’d been deprived far too long. It didn’t occur to me that there was a chance I was his first kiss since before he shipped out in the ’40’s. “I don’t wanna stop,” he mumbled against my lips. “Then don’t,” I replied, breathing in his soft exhales, “We’ll stay up all night doing this.” Bucky chuckled, pulling away from my mouth to turn his head and press tender kisses to the palm I’d been cradling his cheek in. He tugged me closer then, my hands winding around his shoulders and his face burying itself in my neck. My laugh at the sensation of his scruff quickly morphed to a moan as he planted drawn out kisses against every inch of the bruises our encounter with Walker in Riga had left me with. I extended my neck to give him better access, feeling his lips twist in a wicked grin as his ministrations caused my breathing to quicken. “Okay, if you keep doing this,” I gasped, trying to steady my voice, “We’re gonna be up all night doing something else.” He pecked the column of my neck once more before pulling his head out and facing me, still smiling. I pressed my forehead to his and he nuzzled his nose against mine, still desperate to keep any contact he could. 
“I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” Bucky confessed, rubbing his metal hand up and down my back, “Thought about it in Riga, when we were fighting, in the alleyway…”
“Me too,” I agreed, grinning uncontrollably, “But you know why I’m glad it didn’t happen till now?” Bucky hummed questioningly, “Because this is the longest we’ve been together without someone interrupting us.”
Bucky chortled loud enough for me to feel the need to cover his mouth, causing me to laugh myself. I never thought that there would come a day where the two of us would be sitting on my couch in the middle of the night, as lighthearted as could be. This was a slice of heaven after all that we’d been through. “Do you believe me now when I say my opinion of you is never gonna change?” Bucky asked. Had he not proven to me that it was true, I wouldn’t have believed it. I’d have punished the both of us for the rest of my life. “As long as you believe me when I say that I know you’ll never hurt me.” I knew that there was so many layers to his pain, most that I would never understand, but he couldn’t keep a part of himself hidden forever. If we were going to do this, we were going do it wholeheartedly, taking the best and the worst parts of each other. The unlovable would never go unloved as long as we were together.
“Okay,” Bucky sighed, tightening the arm around my waist and bringing the other to my face, “Okay.” He pulled me down to press his lips to each of my cheeks, landing one last one to my mouth.
Our kisses became longer and softer, signaling that though we were both eager to explore this new territory, exhaustion was running the show. We eventually slowed down to where Bucky’s face rested in the juncture where my neck met my shoulder while my head rested against his, one arm wrapped around his shoulders and a hand running through his hair. My lips laid featherlight kisses against his temple every few minutes, taking advantage of the fact that I could do so freely now. I could feel his hot breath hit my skin at such a leisurely pace that if it hadn’t have been for his metal thumb rubbing my waist every once in a while, I’d have thought he’d fallen asleep. Eventually, when my eyelids began to shut against my will, Bucky shifted on the couch to lay both of us down. I settled naturally on top of him, my head against his chest and a hand resting on each of his broad shoulders. Just when I thought in my drowsy haze that nothing could make the moment any more perfect, Bucky pressed a sleepy kiss to the top of my head and tightened his arms around my back, securing my body to his.
This was peace.
This was right.
This was what we deserved.
——
At the sound of hushed voices and grunts, my eyes slowly opened. I blinked a few times and made out the sight of my nephews, AJ throwing punches and Cass deflecting them with the shield that had laid in the hallway for days. After days spent witnessing some of the worst the world had to offer, this was the purity that I needed to see.
“Bucky…” I whispered, he inhaled sharply as he awoke with one arm slung over my waist and the other hung over the edge of the couch. I tapped his chest and pointed to my nephews, still oblivious to our presence.
“Hey,” Bucky called, his morning voice rougher than it was the rest of the day. 
The boys jumped at the sound, Cass shoving the shield back in its case and him and AJ running as soon as it hit the ground with mischievous smiles on their faces. I laughed softly, looking up to see Bucky lazily smiling. I had the best view in the world, close enough to see the lines that drew his grin up, so different from the frowning ones I was so used to seeing. When he tilted his head down and our eyes met, his smile made no effort to lessen itself.
“Morning,” he said, bringing a hand up to stroke the top of my head.
“Morning,” I replied, shimmying up his body and taking hold of his cheeks, our lips meeting in early morning bliss, “We’re in deep shit.” “Why’s that?” he asked.
“The boys can’t keep a secret to save their lives,” I chuckled, “So you need to enjoy your last day alive because Sam is going to kill you.” Bucky wrinkled his nose as he laughed, “Thanks for the warning.” I dropped my head back to his chest, picking up one of his dog tags in my hand and reading his name pressed in the metal. I’d never been a big believer in fate, but as I rubbed a thumb over the necklace I was reminded that Bucky and I should have never met. He should have been long gone by now, Captain America’s childhood friend who met a tragic end before he could see the war won. He wasn’t supposed to be here, warming my body with his and pressing the sweetest kisses I’d ever known to my skin. Our being together defied time itself.
“Seeing them, the boys…” Bucky began, still stroking my hair, “I think I get what you and Sam were talking about back in Maryland.”
I rested my chin on his pec to see him, his gaze focused on the ceiling in deep thought. “Steve giving him the shield…It’s not the same at all.”
I shook my head, sadly, giving confirmation to his revelation. I didn’t begrudge him for not understanding right away, unless you were in Sam’s shoes you could only have so much of an understanding. The unrelenting way that Bucky had pushed him was what had caused me to call him out on several occasions. But if the week we’d had with our confrontation with the police, meeting Isaiah and coming to Delacroix had finally shown him the flaw in his thinking, I was glad. “I think you should talk to him,” I suggested. He scoffed, “I think I owe him a lot more than that.
“Well, he’s probably already out on the boat. And I,” I groaned as I sat up, straddling Bucky’s hips, “Promised the boys that I’d take them to school so we both need to get up.” Bucky made a similar sound as he swung his legs over the couch, pivoting my body so that we were in a similar position we’d been in in the middle of the night. He took my face in his hand and gave a kiss so long, I knew I’d feel the ghost of his lips until the next time I was able to feel the real thing. To think just hours before I’d been hellbent on convincing him that we couldn’t allow ourselves to act on our feelings. Here I was now struggling to let go of him to spend an hour apart at most. 
The giggling on the other side of the wall broke the spell though.
Bucky and I broke apart with a shared smile. “See you in a bit,” I whispered, pressing my hands to his chest and pushing off of him to disappear around the corner.
After dressing for the day, I corralled the boys into my car. I could practically hear their predictable thoughts and feel their eyes boring into the back of my head as I shut my door. “There’s donuts with both your names on them if you promise not to tell Uncle Sam what you saw this morning.”
A resounding chorus of enthusiastic ‘okays’ reminded me that I was the best aunt in the world who made the worst parenting decisions. 
——
By nothing short of a miracle, Bucky was still alive when I returned.
We worked on the boat with familiar stolen glances and secret smirks when Sam had his back turned. At some point Sarah kicked the two of them off the boat for attempting to repair the water pump, something she’d been repairing and Bucky and I were forced to separate. As the two men departed the dock, he turned around to catch one last look at me and flashed the smile I’d seen more of in the last twelve hours than I had all week. 
“You wanna tell me what changed from last night?” Sarah’s voice broke me out of the daze I was in.
“Huh?” 
“You’ve been staring at that man with googly eyes all day,” she climbed aboard the boat, “You’re also lucky that our brother is clueless.” 
I rolled my eyes and bumped my hip against hers, “Freakin’ mom vision, can’t get anything past you.” “I’m just glad you got out of your own way, he seems like a good guy,” Sarah smiled, “He’s also fine as hell, if you haven’t noticed. If you wouldn’t have gone for it, I might have.” Our loud laughter mixed together as I whacked her with the towel I’d been using to clean an oil stain off of the boat.
Later that day, after finishing helping my sister with a few repairs we could get done without interruptions from Sam and Bucky, I wandered to our backyard to behold a sight I never thought I’d see. Sam was throwing the shield around while Bucky stood beside him. I stopped at the side of the house to watch, the Vibranium bouncing off of training pads from our garage that were strapped to the tree. Since Sam had brought the shield home six months ago, I’d never seen him do more than pick it up and look at it every once in a while. He’d kept it stored away in his bedroom in its casing, AJ and Cass hadn’t even seen it until he’d left it in the hall after returning from Maryland. To see him wielding it now felt…right. He looked just as natural with it as Steve had. Bucky had made a 180 as well, he looked content watching Sam as he caught the shield in its return journey back to them. If I hadn’t watched them bicker like schoolchildren for the better portion of the week, I’d have mistaken them for friends. “Are you telling me that you two could’ve man-hugged it out back in that interrogation room?” I shouted as I watched them clasp hands and pull each other in, “Coulda spared yourselves a lot of discomfort.”
They both laughed and turned to face me, in an effort to save time as I made my way out to where they stood. “So what’s new?” I asked with a knowing smile, eyeing Sam as he held the shield at his side
“Absolutely nothing,” he replied, “And a little bit of everything.”
I chuckled before my eyes inevitably found Bucky’s, who was already waiting for me with an outstretched palm. “Can I talk to you a minute?” “Yeah,” I reached out and intwined our fingers. “Whoa! Wait, wait, wait,” Sam boomed, gesturing to our locked hands, “What the hell is this?”
“Something new,” I shrugged, looking up and matching Bucky’s smile.
Sam groaned in disgust, “You’ve been here twenty four hours, Barnes, you couldn’t’ve kept your hands off my sister? I-I can’t even look at this, it’s sickening, ugh…” he turned his back to us and began his walk back to the house, spinning around quickly and stuttering, “You know what? I-“ he closed his mouth and shook his head, “Uh-uh, nope, can’t do it.” Bucky and I both snorted as we watched him leave, voicing his displeasure to himself. I looked down and noticed the packed duffle bag that rested at Bucky’s feet, “I get the feeling there’s something you need to tell me?” He sighed, reaching blindly to weave his fingers with my other hand’s set. “There’s something I gotta go do. A couple somethings actually. I talked to Sam, or at least he talked to me,” one corner of his mouth quirked up, “This whole making amends thing, I haven’t been doing the greatest job of it. There’s too many names in that book that don’t have closure about what happened to someone they loved. If I stand a chance at putting what happened in the past, I gotta go ‘do the work’.”
I rubbed my thumb over his smooth metal knuckle, staring down at the space between us. “Yeah, you do,” I looked up at him, “Recovery sucks, there’s no sophisticated way of putting it. Sam and I have both seen the ugly side of it. But you owe it to yourself to work as hard as you can for your freedom, as difficult as it can be sometimes.” Bucky leaned down to press his forehead against mine. “If it hadn’t’ve been for you, I might not have believed that. I wanna get better for you too, to try and be the man you deserve.”
I hummed and bit down on my bottom lip, smiling widely. “So…you kinda like me.” “Yeah,” Bucky chuckled softly, “Just a little bit.”
The warmth I felt radiating through me, brought on by nothing more than a touch of our hands and a shared smile powered me in a way my energy never could. “Go,” I said after a few seconds of silence, “Do whatever you need to do. I think there’s some things here that I need to take care of myself.” Bucky pulled back to look my face over as if to commit every inch to his memory before holding the back of my head and pressing a kiss to my lips. Perhaps it was cruel that I had just gotten him and now had to let him go for an undetermined period of time. But his recovery meant more to me than any amount of heart pounding touches or earth shattering kisses he could give. If we ever had a shot of making it, we needed to go to our separate corners and heal.
I hesitantly broke away from his lips first, rubbing mine together after to memorize the taste he’d left. “If I don’t let you go now, I won’t be able to…” “It won’t be forever,” he shook his head, bumping his nose against mine, “Sam’s gonna call me if he gets a lead on Karli.” Rather than keep him longer with my insecurities about jumping back into hero work now knowing who my father had truly been, I decided that dealing with that was for my personal healing. I reached my arms up to wind around his neck, his finding their new home around my waist and for a split second in time, nothing else mattered. There was just me, Bucky and the future I hoped we had ahead of us. I memorized the feel of him, the rise and fall of his chest against mine, his soft hair between my fingers, the scratch of his stubble against my neck. I hadn’t had time to daydream about Bucky since recognizing my feelings for him but even if I had, they’d have never done the real thing near justice.
“Stay safe, Sergeant,” I said, pulling back to peck his lips one last time and releasing him from my hold.
Bucky picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, giving my hand one more squeeze and holding it as he started to walk backwards. Once we reached a point where the only way to keep the contact was to follow him, we let go with a brush of our fingers till I was only holding air. With a final shared look, he turned his back to me and started down the dirt path that would lead him from our corner of Louisiana to the rest of the world. In so many ways I felt as if we’d traveled back to 1943 when he’d shipped out for England. I was sending him off to another war, this time battling his own past. Above any other feeling I felt for Bucky, the one that topped the list was belief. I believed in him more than he believed in himself and I wanted that to change. He could do it and once he did, there was no telling just how happy we could be.
But I in turn had to deal with my own demons.
——
While I wish I could have said I had a plan like Bucky’s, I had no idea what the first step was to healing past what my father had done.
HYDRA wasn’t a topic that I could just plop down on a therapist’s couch and start discussing, there were only so many people I could talk to about it. I found myself wishing that Steve was still around, next to Bucky he was the world’s leading expert on how much damage the organization could do. Without a blueprint of how to begin mending my wounds, I was left to wallow in my own grief over the man I’d believed my dad to be. Sam, however, was on fire.
After him, Sarah and I had made the unanimous decision that the boat was too important to our family to part with, he had launched into the most intense training I’d ever seen him put himself through. He was both blowing me away and not surprising me at all with his dedication.
One morning, I came outside at his normal time to come home from his 6AM run with a cup of coffee for me and a Gatorade for him. On cue, he came jogging up the dirt path I’d watched Bucky leave on days ago.
“You’re inhuman,” I said, tossing him the drink as he approached, “I’m convinced of it.” “It’s nothin’ you couldn’t be doing,” he panted. 
“Yeah, I can run with you or I can get up before sunrise. A combo deal is not gonna happen,” I chortled before taking a sip of my coffee. 
Sam joined me and sat down beside me on our back porch, the view of the blue waters a perfect accent to the almost fully risen sun. “Look, I don’t wanna know any details but…you and Bucky?”
I smiled as I stared down into my mug, just the thought of him causing happiness to bloom in my chest. “It was kinda happening the whole time, it just took us a while to realize it.” Sam groaned, taking a long swig of his drink. “That’s all I need to know, as long as you both are happy and not too disgusting with each other,” he looked out the corner of his eyes at me, “I think I can live with it.” “Well, that’s mighty big of you,” I patted his sweaty shoulder, instantly regretting the decision and wiping my palm on my bathrobe, “That shield starting to feel like it’s yours?” Sam chuckled, “It doesn’t feel like it’s not mine anymore, it’s…weird. Talking with Isaiah was sobering and he’s allowed to be as bitter as he wants. The man’s earned to right to feel anything after what he’s been through. But,” he sighed, “I couldn’t let it go. All that pain and suffering, I can’t let it go to waste.” “You couldn’t not be a hero even if you tried,” I shook my head in amazement, beaming with pride at my brother, “I’m proud of you.”
“Hey, that’s my line,” he hit my knee with the back of his hand, “I’ve got Torres working on some things, hopefully we can figure out where Karli might be going next-“ I couldn’t lead both him and Bucky to believe I was seriously considering going back to the fight. “I’m gonna stop you right there,” I held up a hand, “When you find them, it’s gonna be just you and Bucky. I’m out.” He furrowed his brows and twisted to face me fully, “Why?” “I can’t be the hero I thought I could, not after what I found out. It would only be a matter of time till somebody looked me up and figured out who my father was, then what? Some ex-HYDRA member comes looking for me? The public loses trust in me to protect them? Your reputation gets damaged when they realize I’m your sister?” I dropped my head down to stare at my lap, “It’s a bad idea. HYDRA doesn’t breed heroes.”
A beat of silence was played before my brother gave his rebuttal. “Look at me,” I dragged my eyes away from my engrossing coffee to him, “I couldn’t give two shits what people think about you being my sister, cause you know what? They don’t know you. They don’t know what you’ve done to try and stop the Flag Smashers, how you saved my life in that warehouse or how you helped keep our family going for five years. They don’t know how stubborn and caring and how much of a hero you are without your powers,” he paused and smirked at me, “And they’re never gonna know that if you don’t show them. What your dad did was horrible, but you’re not the one that did it. If you didn’t let his secret hold you back from being with Bucky, why’re you letting it hold you back from something else you want? You don’t need to be proud of being his daughter, but you need to make peace with it.”
He was right, as if he could ever be anything other than. Sam was counseling me like a sister but also like one of the countless veterans he’d helped wracked with guilt. I didn’t know if I’d ever fully recover from the hurt that came with the revelation, but if I kept on going how I was, I’d be a complete hypocrite. If Bucky could face the victims of his crimes and confess to them, I should’ve been able to deal with my ghosts. All I’d ever wanted to do was help people, to use that mutated gene of mine to help right wrongs. To do that, I needed to do the work. “This is a far cry from a few days ago when you were ready to send me packing,” I retorted. “Well,” Sam chuckled, “You proved me wrong. Fighting with you by my side just felt right, made me wish you could’ve been there for ‘em all.”
The fact that I had shown him that I could keep up with him was astounding, I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen. But with his approval, I’d have to have been an idiot to walk away from it all.
“Good talk,” I smiled, patting his leg while taking one last sip of my coffee before handing it to him.
“Where are you going?” Sam asked.
“Making peace with it.”
——
The drive from Delacroix to New Orleans had always relaxed me. The disappearance of the deep bayous as the scenery slowly changed to city, the ever present cypress trees, the hour travel time always gave me time to think. Something I was thankful for today especially.
I parked my car outside my destination, making the long trek through the cemetery I’d visited every week as a child. My feet automatically as I passed the neat rows of above ground tombs until I reached where I needed to be.
Keeping a safe distance away, I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets and took a deep breath. “Hi,” I whispered, greeting my father’s tomb as if I expected it to speak back to me. “Um…I don’t know if you can hear me wherever you are but…there’s some things I need to talk to you about.” My eyes began to water, partially from the wind hitting my face but mostly from the tears that had been waiting to spring free. “Why’d you do it, Dad?” I whispered against the lump in my throat, “I don’t understand how you could ever have been a part of something so destructive. You were the last person I would have ever believed could have done something like this. You were my hero,” I looked down at the ground between us, “I never thought you’d end up being the villain.” I drew a shaky breath and continued, “I watched your guilt over your ‘time in the service’ tear you apart to a point where you thought death was the only way out so…I think it’s safe to assume you felt bad about what you’d done. I watched you every day try to be a good father to me and Mel, you didn’t succeed all the time but you did your best. I know you loved us…” “Somehow,” I dug the heel of my sneaker into my the dirt, “I’m trying to find it in me to forgive you, Dad. For the pain your secret’s brought me, for what your name could do to the rest of my life, for lying…But the one thing I don’t know how to forgive you for is what you did to Bucky,” the tears that I’d finally gotten under control threatened to start again, “Because Dad, he means the world to me and to know that you were behind that pain that’s running his life…It makes me want to hate you. And the saddest part is that I know you would have loved him if you’d ever gotten a chance to meet the real him.”
“The way I see it, I can’t undo the damage you did to the world,” my voice found its strength, “But what you did isn’t going to dictate what I do with my life. I’ve only ever wanted to do good, however I can, that’s what I’m going to do. I know that you wanted me to keep my powers hidden, probably because you didn’t want anyone to find me, but I can’t do that anymore. I can’t pay the price for your sins. So I’m gonna fight and I’m gonna try to rewrite our family’s legacy.”
“Anyway, that’s, uh, that’s all I wanted to say,” I took a slow step forward and placed a hand over the stone tomb, “I wish…I wish things would have turned out different.”
With one last gaze upon my father’s final resting place, I left the same way I’d come, for once not having to fake the confidence I was feeling.
——
“Oh, oh, it’s going…” I teased.
“Give it back!” Sam yelled! “It’s going!”
“Y/n!” 
I levitated the shield further away from Sam and slid it across the ground into the boy’s soccer net, AJ and Cass chasing me as I did. I’d only just shown them that their aunt could make stuff fly and we were currently engaged in an intense game of keep away with Sam.
“AJ! Grab it!” I yelled, my nephew hurrying to the net and lifting the shield, stumbling a little as he took off running with it on his arm. I threw up a force field around Sam, who was gaining on him, “Oh no!” Sam was laughing the whole time as he tried to punch his way out of the bubble encasing him. “Go go go!” I cried, watching the boys run off with the shield into the house, dropping the field once they were inside.
“You’re the worst influence on them, you know that right?” Sam chuckled as we slowly made our way towards the front door. 
“Hey, I don’t want them thinking their uncle’s the only cool one in the family,” I replied as we entered the house, pulling out my phone to check the notifications I’d feel vibrating in my back pocket. One was a news alert. “Sam.” “Huh?” I tossed him my phone and hurried through the house till I reached the television, flipping to the news to see the article come to life. The GRC was voting in New York on the Patch Act, a movement that would move twenty million refugees back to their home country.
“Shit,” I mumbled, feeling Sam’s presence behind me. His phone rang to announce a call. “It’s Torres,” he held out the phone and revealed the man’s face. “Sorry this took so long, spare you the technical details, but I finally got results for the scans you asked for and I think we’re onto something,” Torres explained as Sam and I went to look at his computer, displaying a map of Europe that lit up with bright red circles. “When we look back, all these pings, they’re from places just before the Flag Smashers hit. Clearly, they’re all over Europe. Earlier today, we got one from New York. Now, I can’t promise you they’re not using a VPN or masking their location, but…” I’d stopped listening after he’d said ‘New York,’ and turned my attention to the tv, every piece of the puzzle was coming together. Karli wouldn’t be physically able to hold herself back from interfering with the vote. “Great work, Joaquin,” Sam said, his eyes trained on the screen along with me, “We’ll take it from here,” he hung up the call and turned to me, “Time to get to work. Come with me.” He rose from his chair and led me to the coat closet nearest to the front door, opening it up to pull out a large silver case and handing it to me. “I don’t know what’s in it, Bucky just told me to hold onto it until the time came where you’d need it,” Sam stated, “I’m thinking that’s now.” Confusedly, I carried it out and up to my bedroom, placing it on my mattress and trying to figure out how to open it. There was no keyhole, only a bar that hosted a red screen. My finger brushed over it, the action turning it blue and the case automatically released an air lock I didn’t know it had. Waiting a few seconds to make sure nothing popped out, I carefully opened the box to see something I couldn’t have predicted in a million years. Resting on top of the surprise was a note on the nicest stationary I’d ever seen…
You may be able to kick my ass, but I’m never gonna stop trying to protect you.
- Bucky
I breathed a soft laugh, holding the paper in my hand and imagining Bucky hunched over a table, writing the words that were now lodged in my heart. “Sam,” I called out, leaving the case open and rushing across the hall to my brother’s room, “Sam, it’s-“ All words disappeared and all thoughts halted at the sight of him opening up his own case, I didn’t need to see its contents to make an educated guess at what was inside of it. There were a dozen emotions playing out on Sam’s face, wonder, apprehension, excitement, shock…Every one of them valid but none of them coming close to the amount of pure determination in his eyes.
I watched from the doorway, smiling, “Ready when you are, Cap.”
----
A/N: AHHH. Only two chapters left, hope this one lived up to your expectations. Getting your messages and comments and asks have been making my days and I’m so glad people are enjoying this little ride I’m taking us all on. Let me know what you thought and/or if you’d like to be tagged for the remainder of the series!
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