the-ocd-minimalist-blonde

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

What do you see in this picture?

I see beauty.  I see life.  I see diversity.  I see inclusion.  

Can you honestly look at this picture and say that any part of it is not beautiful?  Can you look at this picture and say any part of it is not fragile?  

We are all God’s flowers.  His children.  Each-and-every-one of us.

What has caused this earth to become such a barren land that thrives on hatred?  

None of the flowers in this photo, in my opinion, are ugly.  Not a single one of these flowers is strong enough to stand on its own without the support of the others around it.  Not one of these blooms exists to torture the other.  Every single flower in this picture exists in harmony, and sit together, surrounded by each other--without fail.

Why has society become so focused on imagery?  If we are all God’s children and we are all his flowers...  Then, please tell me, why do we put one another down and cause one another to wilt?  

Please stop assuming that those around you are living a perfect life, or an easy life.  Just, for the sake of understand and also of unknowing, accept that those around you are just living--just like you.

Do not waste the precious life that we are given, with which we walk, unknowing when it will end--by making other flowers of God wilt.  Do not waste your own time or the time of others around you by trying to say hurtful things, bully others, spread rumors, gossip, make assumptions about or otherwise harm another being.

We all CAN co-exist together, peacefully.  It is what we were CREATED to do.

#noh8 #no hate #stop the hate #don't hurt others #be kind #be nice

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

How Eloquently Articulate It Is, My Dear

I cannot pretend to be unaffected by how I am continually treated by certain individuals.  Truthfully, my well-being and my feelings are not and should not be defined or altered by anyone or anything other than myself or my own doing.  However, I still cannot fathom why I let in the thoughts and emotions that so frequently enter my mind.  

Such as:  ‘why do some individuals feel the need to turn anything and everything into something about themselves?  Why are some individuals unrelentlessly selfish?’

Or: ‘why do some individuals remain narcissistic to others?  In a sense, the term narcissist is outrageously thrown at others by these individuals because they are too vain to seek definition of the word itself in their own reflection.’

Perhaps this one, as well: ‘why don’t my opinions matter to any one person in particular that I don’t have closure to understand why they perceive me so harshly?’

Oh, and another one: ‘when will I get the chance, or will I ever, to apologize for my own wrongdoings that caused the pain or misfortune of others?’

I find myself plagued by these thoughts day in and day out at some point or another.  I wonder if there was anything I could have done differently to let them escape the confines of my own mind.  I often ask myself why I cannot seem to just tether ties to all feelings and emotions that do not promote a happy or stress-free well-being of my soul.  And, yet, I do not have an answer to such foolish dreams or wishes.  I can ponder much more than I’d ever like, until the sun sets on this day and brings forth the dawn of a new one, but, alas--I will never know the true reason that my soul refuses to tether ties.  

For all of you who also suffer from the unbearable unsteadiness of your own emotions or thoughts, just know that I understand and I empathize with you.  

You are not alone.

#rant #personal #diary #empathy #empath #writer #poet #thoughts #emotions #feelings #closure #stress

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

Life, ain’t it funny how~

Life...  It hurts us sometimes.  Well, things in this life hurt us sometimes.  We climb and we fall.  We stumble and we crawl.  We get back up again and keep going.  Some people give up, others persevere.  But, throughout all of these things, I really have to stop and wonder why I spent so much of my life counting the errors of others’ ways, counting cash and coins, asking for presents for Christmas or birthdays, being hateful when I didn’t get my way as a child, and acting up when things seemed unfair (and probably were) but hey--life isn’t fair.  

I know people say that from the time your ears actually start to understand human words... But, it really is true.  

Nothing in life is always fair.  

Think about it.  Even when things seem to be going 100% your way, they’re not for someone else.  If life was 100% fair -- there would be no racism, no inequality, no poverty, no hunger, no wars, no fighting or hate.  There would be no sadness or anger, there would just be happiness.

I think that we go through phases in life, so that we can develop the understanding when we get older of what life is really about.  It’s about growing, learning, educating and teaching.  It’s about finding a way to learn from the past and build the environment and the world for the future.  Preserving the Earth, curing ailments.  All of these things could never come to light if we hadn’t seen the darkness first, to know that they needed repairing.

As I reflect this December over my past four years in Nashville, I have realized a few different things.  

One of those is that I relied way too heavily on a mate to help me get through my adulthood.  I had this thought in my head that I had to have help to get by.  I needed someone there who “loved” me intimately or romantically to ‘survive’, so-to-speak.  I felt like I had to stay in an already uncomfortable, harmful, damaging and unequal relationship that was going to end up being my “norm” for the rest of my life--in order to be happy, feel fulfilled or to be comfortable.  I had a ‘give-and-take’ frame of mind, where I felt like I had to “give this up” to “get that”.  I started questioning things in my life, people in my life and situations I was putting myself in while I was in college the second time.  I was in the middle of Marriage and Family class and I realized, my instructor knew a lot about failed relationships and failed happiness.  She had personal accounts that led her to teach and instruct that class.  I started thinking in that room one afternoon, ‘what am I doing with my life, and why do I feel like I really have to go through with this?’  Not long after, the engagement and all the wedding plans came to a hault from his side (not mine) only days before we were to walk down the isle together.  I remember him being hateful to me...  He gave ‘who knows what kind of stories’ to his friends, because they gave me looks, too.  Friends that I thought were mine, too, and weren’t really.  I got looks at the college, looks at the market, looks at the gas station... Hate from his friends and family.   Before I realized it, my world had flipped on it’s top!  And I was angry and hurt.  He was angry, and he was the one that did it...  But I didn’t realize at the time, he actually did me the biggest favor anyone in my life could ever give... He saved me from a reality that I had fictionized and fantasized in my head and made myself believe was the truth when it was really not.  He put an end to it before I was stuck in a worse situation, and for that--I’ll be forever grateful.  Were my family and I upset? Oh yes.  Did we lose countless funds we couldn’t get back? Oh yes.  Was I angry and unhappy for years after that?  About two, yes.  But I have finally understood why they say “everything happens for a reason”.  That situation had to end for me to move onto one I really needed, that God had planned for the rest of my life.

Another thing I realized is that I took advantage of people that were good to me in my young adult life.  I put up struggles and fences to keep people out that I had permanently stuck into my “friend zone”.  One of these friends in particular ended up being the man I believe God meant for me to be with.  I think he put us through struggles of our own throughout the 14 years we’ve known each other, solely for the purpose of growth and understanding, before bringing us back to one another in the most unique of ways.  

I also realized that I took advantage of things my parents did for me as I grew up that I look back on now and think, ‘Wow. How wrong I was’.  

There are so many times when I was in grade school or high school that I put up with physical abuse, emotional turmoil and bullying at school and in my personal relationships and friendships that I really should have walked then, but I didn’t.  I felt like I had to apologize to everyone that hurt me, because it would make them stop or make it better, but it never did.  I felt like ‘they will change’ when I knew they never would.  I went through childhood thinking I would always be the ugly duckling that people would pick on, but I wasn’t.  Eventually, I left school and entered adulthood and I realized that’s part of life.  Now, not everyone endures physical bullying to the same extents, but everyone has bullies in their life.  I think it’s another way that God shows us the affect you can have on someone else, and how unkindness and anger can be cruel and damaging.  I think he puts us through trials like those so that we can have moments like these later in life where we understand--and the learnings have become wisdom.  Wisdom that we can teach our children or grandchildren when we get older, wisdom we can pass along to others.

You see, there are so many things I have realized from my reflection this December... But I think my sole take-away is the same as what I said when I started this post... Life is not fair, but it’s really what we do with it that leaves it’s impression on others.  

Leave a good impression, make someone else’s life worth living by spreading the love from yours.

#life #questioning #realizing #hope #faith #epiphany #personal #life isn't fair #what is life really about #live to love #understanding

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

Dear Audrey, if you can hear me in heaven.... I want you to know I love you, even though we’ve never met.. But I’m sure we’d be très chic friends!

#audrey hepburn #audrey #hepburn #black and white #photo

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

You’re Beautiful, Dear Girl...

If I could write a note to 12 year old me, it would probably go something like this:

Don’t fret, dear child.  Middle school won’t be that bad.  High school won’t be as horrible, either.  Sure, you will be framed for something by the popular girls.  Sure, you will be suspended at least once.  Sure, you will be picked on and made fun of... But what no one has told you yet is--it’s because you’re beautiful and you have the potential to be something great... And they all know it.

Don’t worry that your hair isn’t perfect. Don’t stare at yourself for hours in the mirror trying to figure out this new “contour” thing.  Don’t stress over that Glee Club audition... You totally got this, and you don’t need materialistic objects to make you achieve your goals.

So you ate that slice of pizza.  Who cares.  So you drank that entire milkshake.  Oh well.  So you had a girls’ night and you had WAY too much popcorn, (doused in butter), too many root beers to count and engorged on ice cream afterward, (soaked in chocolate syrup and sprinkles).

IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!

You don’t need to focus on the scale.

You don’t need to focus on your reflection.

Don’t worry about that number on your jeans’ wasteband.

You are who God made you to be, and that is all you need to know.

For everything you will encounter in life ahead, please know that.

Know that through every uphill battle, there is a climb -- and that Miley Cyrus speaks truth in her Hannah Montana lyrics.  Know that when you make it to the top of every struggle and every mountainous hilltop, that you have a while to breathe before you face the next one.  Understand that God built you to have the strength to handle anything and you need not fear a thing.

Know that people are mean, some are rude, and others you will find solace in their beauty and kindness.  Understand the difference between them and that popularity doesn’t matter because the popular crowd didn’t get that way from being honest, good or Christian.  They became popular by being known for all the wrong reasons, don’t get caught up in that crowd.

Remember this note, and remember that you don’t need anyone else’s approval.  Not even your mother’s.  You need to only love and approve of yourself and your own actions, and do as God leads.  Please do your best to listen and to follow.

Remember that self-love is important, and to always take time to balance your feelings and emotions.  Meditation is no joke, really, I’m not kidding.  You NEED it in your life!

If you feel like punching the crap out of someone, please take a walk -- in the other direction.  Breathe, it will be okay.  I promise.

If you feel like inflicting harm on yourself, remember that God gives you strength to get through any obstacle and it is probably a test.  Please don’t fail the test.  If you do fail the test, please don’t give up.

You are beautiful just the way God created you, and remember that you love yourself.  Tell yourself this often.  Don’t forget that, ever.  Oh and remember -- boys are ridiculous and they are not worth your stress!

♥♥♥ See you in another life!

Love Always Unconditionally, The 30-year-old You

#note to self #selflove #love #self love #reflection #self reflection #self assessment #note to old me #dear me

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

#love #love yourself #self love #selflove #happiness

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

Me: Why are you looking at me like that?

Him: Because you're beautiful

Me: *makes sound* Pffht.

Him: You are. You've always been beautiful to me.

Me: *Smiles*

Him: See. Those eyes...

#love #relationships #life #mi vida

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

#french macarons #coffee #cozy #macarons #roses

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

You know what’s funny?

And I don’t mean ha-ha funny.  I mean, weird funny.  

If you look back on previous posts or even thoughts that you had months ago.  Not years, but months... And you have an epiphany that maybe things really didn’t work out then because God had plans for them to “work out” later in the future.... Just months later.... and you stop and go, “Oh.”

It’s a funny realization that you get frustrated so easily.  And by “you,” of course I mean myself.  They are my blog posts, right?

At least I’m pretty sure they are, unless I’ve been abducted by aliens and was replaced by a clone.  But alas, since I remember posting it I would imagine that they are mine.

(ha-ha) goes here.

Really, though...  So the first job I applied to this year as a promotion within the company didn’t pan out...  It looks like this one is.  Something new and unexpected came along that was even more tailor fitted to what makes me happy and what is fun to me.  Something even more appealing and less fearful than the previous one.  Still a step up, not a sideways step and not a backwards step.  But not a leap or a skip.  The perfect balance between what I thought I needed, what God knew I really needed, and where I already am.

See?

Could anyone else play God the way God IS GOD!?

Nope.  So, just thinking out loud here, but maybe I should stop trying to control everything and just be along for the ride.  Of a lifetime.  Of his creation’s lifetime.  Of my entire life, for God.

I trust you.

#religion #faith #God #hope #compassion #jobs #professions #stress #waiting #wanting #not knowing #trust

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

Dreams seem pointless

I used to think that I could do anything I set my mind to, that if I had the power of prayer and God that anything I set out to do was possible.  I realize now that I was young and naive and that life doesn’t work that way.

You spend time and time again trying to make things seem perfect and trying to achieve goals that ultimately you have to realize are unattainable in the present time.  

Whether it means you are ready or not ready at all for whatever life has in store, it doesn’t happen at the present time.

(if this damn gopher doesn’t stop popping up and down on my tumblr feed in the background I’m going to scream)

See, train of thought lost.

Thanks Staff. 

Bye.

#rant

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

Sometimes

Sometimes I sit, mindlessly thinking about things which prevents me from sleep.  Right now, I’m stressed hoping that I get a job I’ve applied for.  Normally, I’d let whatever is going to happen, happen--and trust that God’s plan will work out in my favor one way or another down the road.  But now; after already having done five interviews for this role, I’ve invested a great deal of time and energy into something that I now understand I want more than I did when I submitted my resume.

So, then... I ask you... How am I supposed to relax now?

#stressed #can't sleep

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

#cozy day

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

It’s the SUN!

It’s actually sunny for the first time in about a week.  Beautiful sunlight.  The ironic thing is, it’s Easter Day.  Go figure!  Now, if I can only muster up the energy to get out in it, drive and run some errands.  

But alas, no I do not want to ‘adult’ today.  Adult-ing is tiring, and a bore.  I wish sometimes that I could be waited on hand and foot so I didn’t have to be an adult.  Children don’t understand how wonderful they have it. 

If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to stop whining and do what I’m told.  That’s the least I could have done for all the things my parents afforded me at that time in my life. 

And here I thought they were just evil for punishing me, now I see the truth.

#Happy Easter

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

#hot tea

[the-ocd-minimalist-blonde]

A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.

Henrik Ibsen (via writerscottage)

#quote