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this-is-malarkey · 2 months
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Quinlan’s hands had dropped to his face sometime ago. Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure how to comfort him. He had asked, and quite frankly, Obi-Wan could really use the help of another shadow for the final Kamino infiltration.
“I know it’s a lot to take in—” he began softly, only to be cut of by a hoarse chuckle.
“You really don’t see it, do you?” Quinlan asked, looking up at him incredulously.
“See what?” the time traveler asked nervously, twisting to stare at the holoboard mapping Sidious’ master plan, a carefully constructed counter at the end of every twisting vine strangling the republic.
“What this looks like!” Quinlan replied, gesturing broadly.
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this-is-malarkey · 2 months
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VOTE DAMN IT.
man there’s so much discourse i’m seeing about “oh voting is useless” even though i block tags related to us politics because the lack of action i can take about it makes me anxious
and ngl but if y’all saddle the rest of the world with that orange fascist again because you decided that actually it’s more leftist to not vote and prevent that particular disaster from happening i’m going to come to your place of residence and shred all your beloved items with my teeth
because this may come as a shock but unfortunately your country’s electoral outcome affects the rest of the world, and our politics are dragged further right in response. so fucking suck it up, your actions have consequences, and not voting is not inaction, it’s an action with negative consequences for the rest of us.
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this-is-malarkey · 2 months
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Ilia fucking Malinin’s world record breaking free skate
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this-is-malarkey · 3 months
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APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)
New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.
He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.
The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.
"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."
Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!
Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.
When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.
Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.
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this-is-malarkey · 3 months
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STAR WARS APPRECIATIN WEEK 2023 MAY 25: FAVOURITE MOVIE ▸ EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005) + trivia
In the original screenplay, when Anakin joins the Dark Side, he is no longer referred to as “Anakin”, only as “Vader��.
[in/sp]
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this-is-malarkey · 3 months
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If none of them married, how desperate would the Bennett girls actually have been?
Well the only dowry they have is £50 apiece from their mother’s small inheritance, per year; so that’s a total of £250 generated by Mrs. Bennet’s inherited investments per annum.
The Dashwoods (four women) are living on £500 a year when they are forced to live in Barton Cottage (with good-will making the rent presumably ridiculously low thanks to Sir John Middleton’s good nature, to say nothing of all the dinners and outings he invites the ladies to, which will help them economize on housekeeping costs for heavier meals.)
So there would be six Bennet women left to live on half as much as the Dashwoods are barely scraping by on. £250 is roughly considered enough to keep ONE gentleman at a barely-genteel level of leisure (presuming he does not keep a horse or estate or have any major expenses beyond securing his own lodgings/clothes/meals at a level becoming of a gentleman.)
None of the Bennet girls have been educated well enough for them to be governesses to support themselves, so…yes, their situation would heavily rely on mega-charity from others to just help them survive, much less maintain them in the lifestyle they’ve been accustomed to. The Dashwood women have NO social life beyond the outings provided by Sir John and the offer of Mrs. Jennings to host the older girls in London–otherwise they’d be stuck in their cottage, meeting absolutely no eligible men, creating a cycle of being poor and unmarried and too poor to meet anyone with money they could marry.
If the Bennet girls don’t at least have ONE of them marry well enough to help the rest before their father dies, they are really, truly, deeply fucked.
They may joke about beautiful Jane being the saviour of the family, but…it’s true. Mr. Bennet failed his daughters several times over in A) presuming he’d have a son, B) not saving money independently from his income to support his family after his death when it became clear he wasn’t going to have a son, C) not educating them well enough to enable them to support themselves in even in the disagreeable way of being a governess, D) not making any effort to escort his daughters to London or even local assemblies to help their matrimonial chances because he just doesn’t feel like it, E) throwing up his hands and shrugging when faced with the crises of Mr. Collins and Wickham.
Much as we are relieved on a romantic level that Mr. Bennet’s support of Elizabeth saves her from parental pressure to accept Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet is NOT A DICK for pushing for the match, because on a material level it very much means they get to KEEP THEIR HOUSE and gain a connection to the powerful patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh, which could be VERY advantageous for the other unmarried girls.
And the scandal of Wickham very nearly scuppers the chances of ANY of the other girls, and Wickham is a further DRAIN on the family finances, not a man who is going to substantially be able to support them. It is SUCH a disaster, and of course there’s not much Mr. Bennet can do until they are found, but he’s away in London and doing…what, exactly? Mr. Gardiner takes over and manages everything and Mr. Bennet seems happy to just let him.
Mr. Bennet does the ABSOLUTE LEAST, and actively damages his children’s futures by his inaction AND by his one action to support Lizzie’s individual needs being prioritized over the collective gain, which…I mean, Lizzie is going to be JUST as homeless and destitute as her sisters when he dies, so much good being Dad’s Favourite is going to do her. :/
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this-is-malarkey · 3 months
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ARE THEY PLAYING A VARIATION OF LEAVES FROM THE VINE IN THE BACKGROUND
I’m sobbing
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this-is-malarkey · 4 months
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hey i’m nosy
there’s uuuuh obviously a lot i could’ve listed, so pick whichever category’s closest
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this-is-malarkey · 5 months
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have yall ever heard of Hex by Thomas Olde Heuvelt
because this the exact kind of shit I imagined when the kid plays the recording into the other, sleeping kid’s ear of the girl with her eyes & mouth (?? it’s been a while) stitched shut mumbling cursed shit
Ominous howled rendition of "Silent Night" recorded in the woods at 1AM this morning.
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this-is-malarkey · 5 months
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the Mandalorian alphabet is written with music instruments and swords
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No, the title is not a shit post, though it reads like one. But before we get into what I mean when Mandalorians use musical instruments in their writing, let me show you something.
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This is a modern photo of Cuneiform script. Cuneiform is one of the oldest writing systems, dating back to the 31st century BC. It was created by pressing reed styluses like the one above into clay. The reed stylus creates wedge shaped forms as well as finer strokes or lines. 
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The Mandalorian alphabet shares similar features. It uses a lot of wedges as well as distinct strokes that create a simple line. However, there are a lot more downward strokes in the Mandalorian alphabet, and in general, the Mandalorian alphabet is very rectangular in shape. 
What sort of hand motions would require so much vertical movement? Swords.
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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That particular disappointment of the more literate-than-average child upon discovering that “gaol” is just pronounced “jail”
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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no idea if it's my hormones, what I've seen in the news lately, the weight of living the past few years, or just because it's Judi Dench...but this impromptu performance really made me cry for a good ten minutes, no kidding.
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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The official sad ghost club
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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s/o to this skeleton babe from 1936
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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this-is-malarkey · 7 months
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I’m behind on the Stewjon (Obi-Wan’s homeworld) lore. I didn’t know we got an actual canon location in the galaxy for it, but I guess we did!
Deep Core border…so wedged somewhere right between the Core and the Colonies maybe…
Sources: Star Wars: Timelines (2023) & Star Wars: The Visual Encyclopedia (2017)
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