ashkefi

[ashkefi]

Please, do not try to take my sadness without offering me something else to carry.

I wouldn’t know what to do with empty hands

#spilled ink #writing #thoughts

[ashkefi]

They don’t talk about the other side of hope.

The dark underbelly of the unattainable, the unreachable.

The “I’m tired, and the light is much too far away.”

They don’t talk about how heavy, how dangerous, hope can feel.

#spilled ink #writing #thoughts #ash kefi #mental health #burnout #tw depressing thoughts

[ashkefi]

how could I ever fall in love

living like this

if I never let anyone

close enough to see me

as I really am

instead I give

pieces of my heart

to strangers passing by

hoping they’ll take those pieces

with them when they leave

#spilled ink #writing #poetry #thoughts #kind of poetry #poets on tumblr

[ashkefi]

Tonight everything feels a little too heavy in my hands.

#spilled ink #writing #bleeding on paper #thoughts

[ashkefi]

I wish I could smile and say

I’m all better now

But there’s a reason

I don’t carry a knife anymore

So instead I smile and say

Little white lies

To all the strangers passing by

#bleeding on paper #spilled ink #poetry #writing #thoughts #mental health #healing is a process

[ashkefi]

Sometimes I feel like we are living in a time of broken people with shattered trust wearing blindfolds and wielding rusty swords at anything that makes noise.

#spilled ink #bleeding on paper #thoughts #writing

[ashkefi]

Let’s make our way

Back to the shore

Side by side

Gasping and sputtering

For each fleeting breath

While the waves threaten

To drag us beneath again

Let us battle our way

Back to the shore

Where we will sink

Our shaking hands

Deep into the sand

And crawl on our aching

hands and knees

Dragging our weary bodies

Away from the sea

We saved ourselves from

#poetry #spilled ink #bleeding on paper #writing #thoughts #mental health #trying to be okay

[ashkefi]

I carry this heavy sadness

everywhere I go

looking for somewhere

to set it down

I’ve tried setting it down

many times

but it sticks to my skin

And inside my lungs

if I were ever to be rid of it

would there be anything left

of this being I call myself?

#spilled ink #bleeding on paper #poetry #heartbreak #writing #thoughts

[ashkefi]

My ‘poetry’ is just all my little hurts flung haphazardly onto paper with the blind hope they’ll stick together and resemble something like relief.

#bleeding on paper #spilled ink #poetry #writing #heartbreak #thoughts #ash kefi

[ashkefi]

all these fractured pieces of myself

keep eroding and scattering

losing themselves in forgotten corners

and overlooked shadows

if I could empty myself of all this

the sadness and despair

would there be anything left

to hold together whatever remains?

#bleeding on paper #poetry #spilled ink #kind of poetry #writing #heartbreak #ash kefi

[ashkefi]

I think the hope is that one day I will not be so desperate for love.

#bleeding on paper #spilled ink #writing #heartbreak #ash kefi #thoughts

[ashkefi]

I find myself drawn

to violent things

as if the blood and hurt

will somehow weld

all these pieces of me together

as if the unfulfilled craving

of a gentle touch

will instead be eased

by this bruising and breaking

#bleeding on paper #poetry #spilled ink #kind of poetry #heartbreak #writing #ash kefi

[ashkefi]

someone please explain to me

how it is I feel guilty

for the way their love

never made me feel

like I was enough?

#bleeding on paper #kind of poetry #poetry #spilled ink #ash kefi #writing

[ashkefi]

I have broken my heart

far too many times

against the rocks

of all my shattered

hopes and dreams

for there to be any of it left

to give to someone else

#writing #poetry #bleeding on paper #spilled ink #ash kefi #thoughts #heartbreak

[ashkefi]

I remember that first time

the day I met you

you asked if I was okay

I wasn’t

but said I was anyway

we talked and I felt

a little more okay

I remember the days after

I would take the long way

just for the chance

I’d catch another

glimpse of you

you’d smile and wave

and my heart would race

those days where happiness

was hard to come by

you were most of my happiness then

though I hardly knew you

it was a game I played

wondering if I would ever see you again

and if we could ever be something more

then I saw that picture

of you and her

and crushed those dreams

but months later

when you finally looked my way

you were states away

asking for more than I could give

when I hardly had

the will to live

I remember thinking

love shouldn’t hurt like this

so maybe I broke your heart

and maybe you broke mine

and I still think about you

even after all this time

#bleeding on paper #kind of poetry #ash kefi #poetry #heartbreak #looking back #spilled ink

[ashkefi]

i must be a magician

keeping up this

illusion of togetherness

for so long while i am

so loosely held together

with carefully timed smiles

and placating words

until the time comes

when I surrender to the night

and all her comfort

— ash kefi

#spilled ink #poetry #writing #kind of poetry #bleeding on paper #ash kefi