Imagine jjk ends and it’s just Suguru waking up in August 2007 beside Satoru in a cold sweat having dreamt what would happen if he decided to leave, and subsequently, silently promises a sleeping Satoru never to.
Put Satoru & Levi in a room and see how long it takes for them to trauma bond abt their homoerotic ‘partner-in-crime who chose their goals over them’ situationships.
So a few people have talked about how Satoru’s eyes are a place of vulnerability for him (the windows to the soul and whatnot), and one of the reasons why his eyes are always covered is so that everyone around him (and us, the audience) can’t see him in a vulnerable state.
Even when Kenjaku had him ensnared in the Prison Realm, there’s a frame where his eyes are strategically blocked. Same thing happened before he killed Suguru. His eyes were just out of frame. He was breaking on the inside and when he’s really vulnerable, the only one to see it is Suguru.
1. He only gets that way when Suguru is involved
2. He only feels comfortable enough to get that way when Suguru (or even just an echo of him, his body) is around
And I just realized rewatching that scene in Okinawa (S2, Ep3, 7:17 timestamp) when Suguru is telling Satoru about how he knows he hasn’t slept or rested his technique, and that it isn’t good for him, Suguru is meeting his eyes from the side. Not through the glasses. Genuinely looking straight into his eyes.
And just, the expression Satoru has on. It’s so vulnerable.
There’s something so poetic about the fact that the only person he ever lets see him in a vulnerable state is Suguru.
I don’t know how to word it, but I don’t think this is a conscious decision on his part. His walls just come down around Suguru—no, actually, they don’t apply to Suguru at all. He feels no need to defend his weak points against Suguru, because he knows Suguru can see them anyway.
There’s so much love weaved into the very fibers of this dynamic :(
I think the reason we can tell that it’s Kenjaku behind those eyes instead of Suguru is that there’s no sadness or weight in them the way that Suguru used to have.
OKAY. I’m an “I love you” truther when it comes to what Satoru said to Suguru as his last words. It would work in both Japanese and English as three syllables. (大好き “daisuki” is what I think it is, but it could still be 愛してる “aishiteru” simply bc both work with Satoru’s lip movement).
But, in spirit of playing devil’s advocate, I have something else that works.
“I’m sorry.”
In Japanese, the way he would have said it for it to fit would have been a very informal way one uses with close friends/family/significant others.
ごめんね “gomenne”.
I watched the scene in the movie back and the lip movement matches so well.
It would work with the context of the light novel, and Suguru’s reaction too. Something that had never been said before, something that made him blush. Satoru never said “I’m sorry”. He would say “my bad” or “you’re not at fault”, but never “I’m sorry.” The weight of him saying that, of him taking the blame for everything that happened in Suguru’s final moments would cause Suguru to get flustered and feel self-conscious.
Oh god. Okay. In Season 2, Episode 3 during that beautiful piano compilation in Okinawa (timestamps 8:05-8:11 for exact reference), Satoru and Suguru are walking through a field of hydrangeas. I know how detailed MAPPA is with flower symbolism so I figured I should look into it. I have no clue if someone already did and said this but I just want to point this out.
According to Japanese legend, there is a story about an emperor who apologized to his beloved with hydrangeas for neglecting her by being so busy with work. As such, hydrangeas have an association with love, sincere emotion, regret, and apology.
Through my SatoSugu meta lense, I believe it symbolizes the regret both of them felt towards not being able to give their relationship more attention. Apology towards each other, for having no choice but to focus on sorcery work instead of the love they have for each other.
You can’t honestly look at this man without falling in love with him, Satoru was so based for loving him blindly and unconditionally. Not to mention, he got to experience Suguru’s gentle, caring, and loving side. How could he not lose his mind over him? (I am right there with you, Satoru)