bpd-clown

[bpd-clown]

waking up after dreams that give me a lot of anxiety and fear is one of the worst ways to awaken

#My Posts #Anxiety

[bpd-clown]

if i could physically manifest my own anxiety into an object i would destroy it without hesitation

#my posts #negative #hell disorders

[bpd-clown]

back at it again with intense worry that everyone hates me and i’m going to fuck things up

#my posts #please not tonight #please

[bpd-clown]

me- makes a stronger affirmation to move on and improve personal relationships

me- maybe things will look up for everyone now

life- tosses hell workday at me

#my posts #i probably deserve it honestly

[bpd-clown]

hi guess who’s a pathetic piece of shit and you can win a prize!

#my posts #it’s meeeeeeeeeeeee

[bpd-clown]

why can’t this be easier

#my posts #i just want to get over this or fix this why can’t one of those be easy #i don’t want to feel like this anymore i just want things to be okay #what if this hurts people i want it to stop how do i stop this??

[bpd-clown]

me doing anything: am i making people uncomfortable? am i going overboard? am i too much? am i annoying others? am i too clingy? a

#BPD #meeeeeeee

[bpd-clown]

i can’t even say sorry that’s manipulative i can’t do that

#my posts #nnnnnnn....

[bpd-clown]

maybe i’m just a sub par friend

#my posts #or a bad person #hahaha

[bpd-clown]

aaaaaand now i’m really scaredhahah

#my posts #duck #what if everyone hates me

[bpd-clown]

i wish i could salvage things...

#my posts #fuck what if i slide back into things...

[bpd-clown]

i hope you’re doing better now

#my posts #you deserve the best #all of you

[bpd-clown]

Me- things are ok. sick, but i'm stable, got a raise, and i'm not detrimental to my friends

the disorder- actually you're being terrible right now? you fucking idiot? you fish fondling fuck up?

me- oh true

#My Posts #why can't i just #have a decent week #i'd even take being sick i just want to be mentally sound

[bpd-clown]

physically sick but at least i'm stable to some degree

#my posts #i think i'm getting better at this #staying stable #hopefully

[bpd-clown]

keeps questioning self until i'm not sure if anything i do is right

#my posts #fuck is this evenhow you vent blog? #even minor shit i question because i'm a paranoid douche bag

[bpd-clown]

bad news everyone

i exist

[bpd-clown]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#my posts #fuck