butcanijustnot

[butcanijustnot]

You don’t have an Angel or a Devil on your shoulder. You have an Angry Viking and 50’s House Wife.

[butcanijustnot]

i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!” 

buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is

[butcanijustnot]

Adventures in ADD episode ????

“Wait when did I take my glasses off? Why’d I take my glasses off?”

*puts them back on, then immediately removes them*

“Ah, yep, sensory overload, I remember now.”

#add #adhd #sensory overload #sensory overwhelm #trigger warning: sensory overload #tw: sensory overload

[butcanijustnot]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m working there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates appropriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[butcanijustnot]

I FOUND IT GUYS I SPENT HALF AN HOUR LOOKING FOR THIS VIDEO AND ITS HERE

[butcanijustnot]

(Un)Friendly reminder that 2.8 million people have died from Covid-19, or nearly the entire population of Jamaica.

#coronavirus #covid19 #statistics

[butcanijustnot]

Me, reading a plant care manual:

“Sprouts in late autumn, white flowers with five petals.”

*Glares across the room*

“You’ve never sprouted flowers, you lazy bitch.”

#plants #plant mum #lazy plant

[butcanijustnot]

Color Synonyms

White

also: pale; blanched; sallow; pallid; waxen; spectral; translucent; albino; 

Grey

also: dust; stone; pepper;  

Black

also:  coal; slate; dusky; ebon; shadow; murky; 

Tan

also: flesh; khaki; cream; tawny; 

Brown

also:  henna; russet; sepia; chestnut; cocoa; drab; bronze; 

Red

also: terracotta ; rouge; carmine;  fire-engine; ruddy

Orange

also:  pumpkin ; rust ; 

Yellow

also: sunny; amber; saffron; hay; straw; platinum; 

Green

also: viridescent; grass; jade; forest; 

Blue

also: turquoise; cyan; ultramarine; royal; aqua; aquamarine;

Purple

also: berry;  amaranthine;

Pink

also: flushed; candy; cherry blossom; petal pink ; 

—– source: http://ingridsundberg.com/

—–additional synonyms added by me

[butcanijustnot]

“I will carry you here in my heart and you’ll remind me, That come what may, I know the way,” 

[butcanijustnot]

Bout to continue my Pokémon platinum play through even though I still have uni work because it’s the only thing that makes me feel alive anymore.

#Pokémon #pokémon platinum

[butcanijustnot]

I’m so glad I brought up an excellent point on Asexuality in this tutorial so it could be completely ignored.

Thanks miss I feel so valued

#asexuality #asexual #aroace #aromantic #aromantism

[butcanijustnot]

FUCKING CALLED IT

Started watching WandaVision

I avoided seeing any serious story spoilers (I watched a few funny compilation videos on YouTube but nothing major) so I’m really flying blind here.

[butcanijustnot]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn Don’t trust Agnes.

Started watching WandaVision

I avoided seeing any serious story spoilers (I watched a few funny compilation videos on YouTube but nothing major) so I’m really flying blind here.

[butcanijustnot]

A Darcy and Vision team-up wasn’t something I knew I wanted until you gave it to me and now I want twelve more just like it, thank you very much.

Started watching WandaVision

I avoided seeing any serious story spoilers (I watched a few funny compilation videos on YouTube but nothing major) so I’m really flying blind here.

[butcanijustnot]

Wanda be a competent fucking parent for once do not let that woman take your kids I’m begging you.

Started watching WandaVision

I avoided seeing any serious story spoilers (I watched a few funny compilation videos on YouTube but nothing major) so I’m really flying blind here.

[butcanijustnot]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn don’t trust Agnes.

Started watching WandaVision

I avoided seeing any serious story spoilers (I watched a few funny compilation videos on YouTube but nothing major) so I’m really flying blind here.

[butcanijustnot]

(Episode seven)

Darcy is a delight and I adore her.

Started watching WandaVision

I avoided seeing any serious story spoilers (I watched a few funny compilation videos on YouTube but nothing major) so I’m really flying blind here.