candidfighter

[candidfighter]

Saw this at the perfect time

[candidfighter]

The struggle is real.

Something you don’t realize as a child is adulting is hard .

Something or a someone always needs your attention.

You end be up always having to give up something. Want a clean house? Great but you’ve got to use your “me time”. Want me time? Great take it but then your chores are neglected.

Want both? Stay up late but then you lose sleep. You always have to sacrifice something. :/

I have very blessed to have this to complain about because I know others might not have all that I do but it still makes it a struggle.

[candidfighter]

Mom stress

Is real

It’s hard

Mom is expected to do what everyone wants and needs when they ask for it but when she asks it’s “in a min, hold on, after I do this or yeah I will “ and then it never happens unless she asks ask 3 more times.

Then when she gets upset that what she asked for wasn’t done, the blame is put on her “oh well you didn’t remind me or you never said that.”

She works all day and yet is still expected to keep the house clean and make sure food is fixed.

The dishes and laundry pile up but does anyone do anything about it?

No. Mom will get it

It’s exhausting and overwhelming

Yet everyone wonders why she yells and get on to everyone for not doing as they were asked

Today was a hard day

#mom stress #real life #hard truths

[candidfighter]

Unpopular opinion post

Ladies and gentlemen let’s get real for a minute.

This post is probably going to be an unpopular opinion and might even upset some.

This is to the ladies and gentlemen that do not let their man or women go anywhere without them.

THIS IS TO YOU

I seriously want to know, what’s up?

WHY can’t they go somewhere without y’all?

Y’all will let them go to work and the store and that’s about it.

WHY??????

WHY can’t they go have a day or night without you being with them? Either by themselves or with friends.

They are ADULTS! They need time away from you. It’s healthy!

EVERYONE needs their own time to decompress.

Do you constantly call them if they don’t answer?

Do you go hunt them down wherever they are at?

Do you tell them they couldn’t make it without you?

Do you use you kids to get your way?

Do you name call or put them down?

Do you withhold money from them?

Do you scream/yell/threaten them or get physical?

Do you limit who they can talk to or what apps they can use?

This is TOXIC and a form of ABUSE…it’s DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

WHY in today’s society is this EVEN ACCEPTABLE ?!

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone. 

Examples of domestic violence:

Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, etc. are types of physical abuse. This type of abuse also includes denying a partner medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use upon him or her.

Sexual Abuse: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without consent. Sexual abuse includes, but is certainly not limited to, marital rape, attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred, or treating one in a sexually demeaning manner.

Emotional Abuse: Undermining an individual's sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem is abusive. This may include, but is not limited to constant criticism, diminishing one's abilities, name-calling, or damaging one's relationship with his or her children.

Economic Abuse: Controlling or restraining a person’s ability to acquire, use, or maintain economic resources to which they are entitled.  This includes using coercion, fraud, or manipulation to restrict a person’s access to money, assets, credit, or financial information; unfairly using a person’s personal economic resources, including money, assets, and credit, or exerting undue influence over a person’s financial and economic behavior or decisions, including forcing default on joint or other financial obligations, exploiting powers of attorney, guardianship, or conservatorship, or failing or neglecting to act in the best interests of a person to whom one has a fiduciary duty.

Psychological Abuse: Elements of psychological abuse include  - but are not limited to - causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends; destruction of pets and property; and forcing isolation from family, friends, or school and/or work.

Technological Abuse:  An act or pattern of behavior that is intended to harm, threaten, control, stalk, harass, impersonate, exploit, extort, or monitor another person that occurs using any form of technology, including but not limited to: internet enabled devices, online spaces and platforms, computers, mobile devices, cameras and imaging programs, apps, location tracking devices, or communication technologies, or any other emerging technologies.

LOOK, if they did it before they got with you, don’t try and make then someone they aren’t.

They CHOSE you.

They ARE WITH you/ married to you.

They COME HOME to you.

They WORK HARD to provide for you/family.

It’s a PARTNERSHIP not a DICTATORSHIP

Can someone please explain to me why this happens? Because I honestly want to know.

If you made it through this whole post and you’re upset at it, stop and think about that. Do you do these things? If so, you really need to take a look at yourself and ask WHY?

Are you insecure, jealous, petty, afraid of them having fun without you?

You need to look within yourself and fix you. GET HELP. If you wouldn’t want it for your loved one don’t do it.

This is unacceptable and shouldn’t be considered the NORM.

#reallife #hardtruth #domestic violence #mental health #relationships #marriage #partnership #be the voice #suicideawareness #advocacy #break the cycle #cycle of violence

[candidfighter]

Marriage is hard

Believe me when I say that. It is by no means easy. Sometimes you’re on the same page and other times you will think you are and you end up being complete wrong.

It’s the most frustrating thing. To love someone so much, it hurts.

I believe in for better or worse. I didn’t say unless you do x,y,z… there are no unlesses.

This is life long…. But life isn’t always easy… you just have to breath and pray.

[candidfighter]

To my biggest blessing, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I don't say it often enough. 

Unfortunately what usually comes out is what I'm stressing about instead, and the thank you gets put at the end as an after thought.

Thank you for putting up with all my quirky antics: from hold me then 5 secs later.. ok I'm hot go away. To scoot over.. no more..ok now too far, you left the closet open, that tiny light is too bright I can't sleep with it.

To always being my chauffeur, my listening ear, my shoulder to cry on, my comedic relief, my teammate ready to jump in and take over when I'm overwhelmed, overestimated or just need a moment to myself.

You truly enhance my life and help keep me balanced, you make sure I'm not wound too tight and I actually live life in the moment.

You always remind me the chores, the projects, and whatever else needs tending will still be there.

For all these things and so much more I day thank you, I love you and you are a blessing in my life.

I couldn't do this life without you

#

#foreverandever #blessing #thankyou #teammate #husband

[candidfighter]

Today my husband lost his granny. She was an important part of his life growing up. He is taking it hard. Her dementia didn't allow us to have a close relationship, she didn't know me.My heart breaks for him though. I love you babe

[candidfighter]

My heart hurts. A family we know, lost their son/ brother to suicide today. I am flooded with all the memories of when I found out my brother killed himself.

It's a hurt that will never go away. You will never be the same, you'll never truly understand it unless it happens close to home, to someone you know. Only then will mental health matter to you. You're view of the world will change. Your world shatters but the rest of the world keeps going and you can't understand why.

Love your loved ones as if it's the last time you have because you'll never know when the last time is cherish every moment.

[candidfighter]

2022.

I have big plans for myself this year. It's not a new year new me, it's a new year better me.

I want to work hard this year on being the best version of myself that I can be.

I want to look in the mirror and like what I see. I want to stop getting in my own way with excuse after excuse.

So to do that I committed to myself that I will do a 75 day soft challenge:

Eat heathy

Exercise 45 mins a day

Read 10 pgs of the Bible each day

No cheat days.

Take weekly progress pics.

No soda or alcohol

I can do this.

I am strong enough.

I will do this.

I do have what it takes.

It's not going to be easy especially since I started the year of sick and now after 5 days I think it's the rona. :/ not going to let that it defeat me. Not today satan!!

I got this!

#icaniamiwillido #betterin22 #focusonme

[candidfighter]

I just want to be loved as much as I love others... do you ever feel like that?

When I love someone it's real, I put my all into it and I mean it.

How come I can't find me in a friend?

Can't say I haven't ever found it because I have but she's long distance now. Maybe you only ever get one?

[candidfighter]

5 years ago I received a phone call that forever altered my world. I never could have imagined it, it came as such a shock.

I'll never forget the feeling, hearing that you killed yourself, hearing the sobs from our parents. They haunt me to this day. I hate that you're gone. I hate that you'll never get watch your nieces and nephews grow up and that you'll never have a family of your own.

I never knew how much you were hurting, I still don't know what all you went through.

I wish you would have talked to us.

I miss you so much. I wish I could change things.

I can't do anything to change the past, but I can change the future.

Every day I strive to be a better version of myself. I want to spread love, light and positivity in your honor. I cherish life more because I don't want to take anything for granted. I do these things to honor your memory. I love you brother. You were an amazing, kind, caring, and funny person. You live on in our hearts and our memories. I cherish the time I did have with you.

I think of this quote you left us often.

"The beauty in the world, is the beauty in you" Ryan Reeder

[candidfighter]

If anything ever happens to me and I die young, may it be a freak accident or COVID just know that I loved my life! My family and loved ones meant everything to me. I have faith in God and I know that he has a plan. Don't ever give up, stay positive and spread kindness.

Love Ces 💜

[candidfighter]

Fake it.

That's what one of my friends told me she does with her husband, and I can't wrap my head around that.😲😵😱

I'm over here like NO WAY! ABSOLUTELY NOT the real thing is WAY to good to do that.

It doesn't happen every time for me but that's ok we work on it together and when it does it's mind blowing 😍🥰🥳☺

[candidfighter]

Sometimes I suck at being a mom. I lose my temper, I yell, and I can't teach my son to read. It makes me feel like a failure. I was upset and crying. Then I read this cried some more and am feeling better.

[candidfighter]

My children and my life

Are growing up too fast. I wish time would slow down. They mean the world to me. I love being a mom it is the best feeling.

I am happy and I am in a good place in my life. Everything seems right. I finally feel like life is back on track and I feel like I have finally forgiven my husband. The weight of it doesn't weight me down like it used to.

I am so in love with him. We are stronger together. I count my blessings constantly.

[candidfighter]

[candidfighter]

A reminder

Tonight my husband lost a friend, he was only a year older than him and 3 years younger than me. My heart hurts for my husband and his friends family. In times like these we are reminded that tomorrow isn't promised. So often we get caught up in life and we just assume tomorrow is given, it's not. Today could very well be our last. We need to live every day to the fullest and strive to be our best self every day.

#heavyheart #humbled #lost #reminder #livelifetothefullest