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Our next theory, brought forth by Bernard Dowd, is that Batman and Batwoman are the same genderfluid person

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“Bruce wouldn’t call his kids any cutesy nicknames y’all are cringe” first of all Bruce canonically refers to children as “honey” and “sweetheart” as BATMAN, so, close your mouth, monster breath

Second of all, Thomas Wayne called him everything from “Bunny, honey, sweetheart, baby, bambino, sweetie” to “Gumdrop, honeybee, amore, babe, “ and you can die trying to take it away from me

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I like to imagine Tas Supersons

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Jason Todd's pain tolerance and responses

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Psst! Maybe doodle a Bruce and young Dick spotted by paparazzi!

Heartwarming! Bruce Wayne spotted walking with young ward Dick Grayson!

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metahuman batfam aus are cool and all, but i rlly need a fic where their powers go crazy around duke (bc he has the ability to amplify others powers if they r close to him) and for the other members of the batfam to find out that they are a metahuman bc of this.

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I think it’s hilarious that Ra’s is the only mfer to give a shit at all about the circumstances of Jason’s resurrection. No one else even talks about it. Jason doesn’t care, Talia doesn’t care, Bruce only cares insofar as he needs to confirm that Jason is who he says he is.

I imagine him going around shaking people by their shoulders demanding are you not at all curious or at least worried how this came to be?!!?? Just POOF? No necromancer, no science experiment. Nothing, just- Boy is dead, boy is alive. That’s fine to you?

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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

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Dick: Hey Jason I was wondering- are you watching Mamma Mia?!

Jason: Um no?

Dick: Move the fuck over I love this movie.

Jason and Dick sit and watch Mamma Mia 1 and 2 together and cry their eyes out together.

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thinking about drawing a matching thad fort this bart, in part because i don't think i've ever drawn thad, but also, i don't know what i did here, i've kind of not reached this level artistically since lol

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I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.

Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.

Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.

Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.

Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.

Confused Bruce: You wasn't?

Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...

More Confused Bruce: You don't?!

Or 

Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?

Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?

Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.

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paid my sins in blood, but i ain't done

dick grayson throughout the years to become a talon

and

after his rescue, dick retired talon, but when his family is threatened, he'll do what ever is necessary to bring them home.

warnings and tags: dick grayson is a talon, non consensual body modifications, murder, torture, suicidal thoughts, blood, gore, injury, angst

title from i ain't done by the crane wives

notes: the first part is my 2023 whumptober day 4

Dick is nine years old.

They inject him five times with a serum that makes him stronger, faster, more durable. It burns for hours after and leaves him withering in pain. They strap him to the cold metal of the table and gag him when his screams and thrashing become too much.

Dick is ten years old.

He is led into a room with a man on his knees in the center. He is blindfolded and gagged, but he does not struggle the way Dick thinks he would have. They instruct him to kill him. Dick fights and fights and he gives in. He takes the dagger they offer him and steps in front of the man. He apologizes to someone and plunges the sharp blade into the man’s throat.

Dick is eleven years old.

His training is rigorous and exhausting. He wishes for death. The serum they gave him does not allow him to be injured. It heals him in seconds, and leaves his body numb. He is more weapon then he wants to be, but he still fights when he can.

Dick is twelve years old.

They strap him down to the cold table again and inject the serum five more times. It burns more going in but the pain subsides quickly. They still gag him and keep him bound. He lies for hours in muted agony.

Dick is thirteen years old.

They start making him kill on a daily basis. They tell him that the people he kills are bad and evil. They are rapists and killers and abusers. They are the scum of Gotham City. Dick now knows that he is in Gotham City, but he does not let his captors know that. He stops fighting them when they ask him to kill.

Dick is fourteen years old.

When they strap him down to the cold table and gag him, he expects more of the serum. That is not what they do. Instead, they hook him up to a machine that takes his blood and replaces it with inky blackness. He screams and cries and begs, though the gag stifles most of it. His body and mind burn and he again wishes for death. Death does not come.

Dick is fifteen years old.

The electrum worked, and now he is indestructible. For a while he thinks he will not be strapped down again. He is and this time, his head is strapped down and his eyes are pried open and inject the electrum directly into them. He screams and cries, bloody-black tears running down his face.

Dick is fifteen years old and they tell him that he is their talon. He will kill those who threaten them.

Dick is no more.

Talon is sixteen years old.

Grandmaster sends it on its first mission. A politician stepped out of line. He must be handled. Talon slips into his house in the dead of night and slits his throat so deeply that he is nearly decapitated.

Talon is seventeen years old.

It meets the Batman for the first time. Batman is strong and fights well, but Talon is not human and fearful. Talon gains the upper hand but does not kill. It does not know why. When Grandmaster asks why, it lies and tells him that Batman was a better fighter.

Talon is eighteen years old.

It is happy to kill for Grandmaster and the Court. Grandmaster made Talon, of course it will kill for him. Talon would do anything for Grandmaster.

Talon is nineteen years old.

Talon meets Batman again. This time it is because it is supposed to kill Batman. But Batman has a small child with it, Robin, and Talon can not kill the Batman and orphan a child. Talon thinks it might have been an orphan once. Batman offers to help Talon but Talon doesn’t know what that means so it rums away.

Talon is…

It doesn’t matter. The court is gone. Grandmaster is dead and Talon is free. Talon wonders if Batman would still help it. When it finds Batman, it gets on it’s knees and submits, then it begs for mercy. Batman kneels in front of Talon and tells it that he’s happy to help, but it doesn’t need to beg. Batman helps him up and takes him home.

Dick is twenty-nine years old.

Talon is still there, electrum still runs in his veins and his eyes are still that eerie gold the court made them, but Dick does not kill, does not fight. He is safe and loved. Dick had brothers and sisters. He has a father and grandfather. He is happy.

He is Dick Grayson, the last Flying Grayson and he is alive.

One day, the Red Hood is kidnapped, somehow, and no one can find him, not even the Justice League.

Dick is angry and scared, but he believes that Bruce will bring his brother home. He has to, otherwise, he will lose control, and then he will be Talon again and he will take the head of anyone who tries to keep him from his little brother.

But then, a week after Jason is taken, Bruce asks Dick if he’d be willing to be Talon, and find Jason. He tells him that all their leads were dead ends and that he couldn’t lose Jason again, so if Dick had to kill someone to get Jason back, Bruce would look the other way.

That night, Talon returns to the streets of Gotham, and floods them red, strikes fear into the city herself and he leaves no stone uncovered.

He finds Jason, tied up, beaten bloody and terrified, left to relive those moments in a warehouse years ago and Dick rages.

Once Jason is home, he tracks down the people who did this and tears into them, quite literally, tearing limb from limb, flesh from bone, and he doesn’t stop until they’re all dead.

Only then does he go home, so he can crawl into bed with his little brother and hold him, keep him safe.

The next morning, the Justice League is in their home, in the cave and they are angry. They are angry because Dick killed. Because Dick killed so many people, so violently.

Bruce claims that they’re wrong, that Dick was at home the whole night, with Alfred, and when Alfred is questioned, he tells them that he and Dick were in the library for the entire night, haven fallen asleep on one of the large sofas in there.

Superman accuses him of lying. Then he threatens to arrest Alfred and Bruce. Dick, who had been sitting on a ledge high in the ceiling of the cave, jumped down at that, teeth bared and eyes glowing an eerie gold.

He informs the Justice League that regardless of his location last night, he will not let them take his family away. The people that died last night found out what happens when you hurt his family and the League will too, if they push too hard.

There is silence in the cave, and Dick knows that the more human Leaguers are weary, hesitant to approach, let alone fight him.

But Superman, Wonder Woman, they’re not. And Dick knows this. But he also knows that electrum still runs in his veins, still keeps him alive and brings him back, even hen he should be dead.

He also knows were the kryptonite is.

So he stands his ground, eyes locked on Superman. He doesn’t move, or flinch, his breathing is even and his heart does not beat, it hasn’t in years and it never will again, but he is unafraid.

Superman does not kill, but Dick, Talon, does. His family had been threatened and he will not allow them to be harmed or taken from him ever again.

Then, in an act that surprises Dick, Superman steps back. He is still watching him, but he steps back and relaxes, sort of.

He tells Bruce that if Talon is ever allowed to roam the streets again, there will be consequences and the league will have to intervene.

Dick hates that Superman calls him Talon. It’s not who he is.

Bruce agrees because he knows that Talon has not truly existed for years, and that the person who was on the streets last night was not Talon. It was Dick Grayson, who tortured and killed those people.

It was Dick Grayson who went out and brought his brother home. And it is Dick Grayson who stands before the League.

Talon will never go out because Talon is dead. But that doesn’t mean Dick Grayson won’t.

#dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #angst #tw blood #tw murder #tw gore #tw body modification #tw torture #tw injury #tw suicidal thoughts #my work

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Two birds of a different feather 🪶

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Headcanons about the batfam helping Damian through Ramadan?

[in the kitchen]

Bruce: Okay, it's almost sunset and Damian will be back soon. I picked up dates and his favorite drinks from the store. What else have we got?

Dick: I brought dessert.

Tim: I also brought dessert.

Duke: So did I.

Cass: Uh-oh.

Barbara: I specifically told everyone I would bring the dessert.

Jason: No you didn't.

Barbara: I sent it in the group chat.

Dick: Babs. Come on. No one checks those.

Bruce: Alright, anyone who DIDN'T bring a dessert, please raise your hand.

Steph: I ordered pizza.

Bruce: What kind?

Steph: ...Chocolate.

Alfred, walking in with a plate: Apologies for the delay. I just had to put the finishing touches.

Bruce: Thank goodness. What'd you make?

Alfred: My signature cookies, of course.

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Jason Todd but he actually looks like he got beat almost to death and then exploded.

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Headcanon for the Bats:

The Bats are absolute menaces to society, in their own weird and unique ways.

—————

Dick refuses to be referred to as anything but “Dick” when in public with his family or even his friends, so no, he will not be referred to by his legal name or any of his common nicknames, but any and all variations or nicknames for “Dick” (Dickie, Dikehead, ect…) are acceptable:

It almost makes Dick a little too happy when any of his siblings yells “Dick” in a crowded room or public place.

One woman actually yelled at Dick and his siblings for their language, that is, until he informed her that Dick is his name. She was so embarrassed she turned a deep shade of red and she apologised.

Dick tried to hide his smirk because he's an absolutely horrible person. His siblings are not impressed, and refuse to admit that it’s kinda funny.

—————

On Father’s Day, Bruce receives a multitude of gifts from his children (whether legal, emotional or biological), as a joke he has to receive at least one gift that has “worst parent ever” on it, from one of them. And while he loves all of the gifts (gag gifts or sentimental) equally, he still has his favourites:

Bruce might enjoy the utter horror and unease a little more than necessary as he uses the thermos Jason bought him for Father’s Day with the words “worst dad ever”, printed on the front, in bright red for all to see.

He is currently forced to endure attending yet another board meeting when one -brave but stupid- new board member made a rather rude comment about how Bruce’s kids shouldn’t disrespect him with such gifts. Which prompts Bruce to go on a tirade about how he should mind his own business, and never speak about any of his kids like that. It got so bad, and he was so furious, that none of the other board members mentioned that the meeting would be ending soon. By the end of Bruce’s speech, their time was up and the meeting had to end.

Not that Bruce was finished. The next day, to work, bruce wore the bright blue tie Dick had gotten him, holding the mug Tim got him that had “Not the best parent, but i am trying my best.” printed on it. And he has continued to wear the things his kids buy him to work, without fail.

No one mentions anything about his clothing choices or the mugs (yes, mugs because there’re multiple mugs with equally concerning words printed on all of them), because if they do, he will go on a tirade about his kids and how much he loves them, and no work will get done.